Christian Yelich, Kawhi Is A Clipper, + Mt Rushmore Of Thrills

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners.

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Speaker 10 On today's part in my take, we have a lot to catch up to.

Speaker 12 We were gone for a week.

Speaker 13 Kawhi is a clipper.

Speaker 14 We won another World Cup.

Speaker 12 We finished NBA Free Agency. Christian Yelich got hurt and is not in the home run derby.

Speaker 13 We actually have to

Speaker 17 call in and talk to us about, excuse me, talk to us.

Speaker 19 I'm so excited. I'm burping.

Speaker 20 Talk to us about not being in the home run derby.

Speaker 21 And little bonus,

Speaker 6 he added a bet. So we added a bet.

Speaker 22 You could still watch the all-star game and watch Christian Yelich and hopefully do something amazing.

Speaker 12 We have a pack-pack show and the Mount Rushmore of thrills.

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Speaker 29 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 29 Now, in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 29 and then a lot of some work will be done.

Speaker 29 Looks behind a low-washing,

Speaker 29 and then I can't blame all of the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue,

Speaker 29 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 29 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Inspire My Take presented by Barstool Spool

Speaker 3 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App.

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Speaker 2 Today is Monday, July 8th.

Speaker 35 Kawhi Leonard's a clipper.

Speaker 37 We won another World Cup and Christian Yelich hurt his back, so he's not in the home run derby.

Speaker 7 Holy shit, we are back.

Speaker 3 I'd say three of the best things to ever happen to this show over the course of a weekend.

Speaker 14 We're back.

Speaker 3 I missed you guys. I just want to say it first.

Speaker 3 Well, I was talking to the listeners. Oh.
I missed all you guys.

Speaker 7 I miss you, PFT.

Speaker 16 Thanks.

Speaker 2 And Hank, and Liam, and Jake.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Big Cat. So, yeah, new year, kind of.
We're being polite to each other.

Speaker 3 The Mount Rushmores aren't contentious. Huh?

Speaker 38 This is at the top of your mind, the Mount Rushmores, because we're not even...

Speaker 40 We're going to do the Mount Rushmore thrills.

Speaker 3 I'm just talking about just staying positive and 7819.

Speaker 7 Yeah, PVOs.

Speaker 43 All right, but we got a lot to get to.

Speaker 44 Let's start with Kawhi Leonard because it is the biggest story in all of sports.

Speaker 39 It was a Woge bomb at two in the morning on the East Coast right after an earthquake on the West Coast.

Speaker 12 An incredible, weird night of NBA Twitter, this league, hashtag this league.

Speaker 18 I want to start with this.

Speaker 43 I oftentimes mock this league, but the NBA

Speaker 3 by far and away has the best offseason in terms of the free agency period and players moving around and teams completely changing the course of their like next four to five years in a matter of moments and it happened at two in the morning and it was this league well it's funny because yeah they i guess right now they are changing the course of the teams for the next four years but then next year a lot of these players could just be like i want to trade again yes because that's how much control they have over their destiny but you're right

Speaker 3 with kawaii it was It was good because he was really the last superstar doing this. It would have sucked if they had all waited this long.
Sam Decker still hasn't signed. Oh, that's a good point.

Speaker 3 Sam Decker's still out there. So we're on Decker Watch.
Yes, we're on Decker Watch. Maybe we can scoop Woge on that, but it was nice to have the one guy that everyone's waiting for.

Speaker 3 All the other pieces, for the most part, have fallen into place. And then the after stories that we got after the Woj bomb dropped at 2 a.m.

Speaker 3 were pretty incredible about how Kawhi had sent the Lakers in a wild goose chase around LA while he was secretly meeting with other people in town.

Speaker 32 The Lakers were talking too much.

Speaker 51 Weird.

Speaker 48 Rob Palinka

Speaker 45 talking about how Heath Ledger, after he died, had a dinner with Kobe Bryant.

Speaker 17 Magic Johnson, who is the king of tampering, the dysfunction of of the Lakers.

Speaker 60 I don't know if Kawhi, like, there's a couple of different theories out there.

Speaker 50 One is that if Paul George doesn't come, if he doesn't get that trade done with Oklahoma City,

Speaker 49 then Kawhi is probably going to be a Laker.

Speaker 48 I don't know about that because it always felt like

Speaker 39 he was never fully comfortable with being part of LeBron's little universe.

Speaker 50 And I know the pitch to Kawhi was always LeBron would take a step back and he would be, it would be Kawhi's team.

Speaker 38 Then LeBron showed up to summer league with a hat that literally said LeBron land on the side of it.

Speaker 5 But let's start there.

Speaker 32 The immediate reaction that I had was LeBron James does not control this league like he used to.

Speaker 9 And on top of that, we now have an NBA season next year where you could make the legitimate case.

Speaker 64 And I'm talking like bar argument case.

Speaker 52 So, of course, there's probably only four or five teams, but bar argument case, you could make for about eight to ten teams.

Speaker 3 What's the difference between a regular argument and a regular team?

Speaker 66 Like a drunk, Like if I'm drunk

Speaker 3 if I'm drunk enough,

Speaker 4 I could say the Blazers could win it all.

Speaker 3 If I'm drunk enough in a bar,

Speaker 42 I can be talked into the Blazers.

Speaker 3 Right. Right.
If I'm sober, I'm like, you're out of your fucking business.

Speaker 61 It's probably the Clippers, the Bucs, and the Lakers.

Speaker 3 I wanted to make that distinction. So it's like the Roger Goodell, what is a catch rule? Like, if a drunk guy in a bar thinks it, then it counts.

Speaker 14 But you couldn't do that before.

Speaker 68 You couldn't. You could not.

Speaker 69 It would just be Ward.

Speaker 3 The league is a lot more exciting.

Speaker 3 The West Coast, kind of envy them. Like, it's going to be a tough year for us next year.
I say, let's all start saving up on stuff. Keep going.

Speaker 3 Let's all start store. We need to hibernate before the NBA season.

Speaker 38 You guys should come over and take care of my baby because I was up at 2 in the morning when the Woge bomb came down.

Speaker 3 I was in Amsterdam, kind of the opposite of taking care. I was taking care of myself like I was a baby.
I needed

Speaker 3 a babysitter to look after me. And it was about 9 a.m.
And I looked at it and said, Woge just broke a story like two hours ago. I was like, there's no chance that this is correct.
Yep.

Speaker 3 Absolutely no chance. But yeah, so in the middle of the night, it happened.
Kawhi was taking his stuff. He did it like it was a gender reveal.
Like he was, that would actually be the most boring.

Speaker 3 It would just be him like flipping a coin. Being like Heads, Lakers, Tails.
No, I think he

Speaker 26 was never a coin flipper.

Speaker 2 I think it was always going to be Clippers as long as he had a guy.

Speaker 4 And if not, it was, I mean, there were stories about the story that came out that Kawhi personally called Kevin Durant before free agency

Speaker 20 and tried to pitch him, which is

Speaker 57 the biggest thing what we found out is Kawhi Leonard is both mysterious and also very calculating because the fact that he was openly courting you know, Kevin Durant right before free agency called him.

Speaker 57 And Kevin Durant even said, we're not friends like that.

Speaker 9 He called me personally and said, I want to be your teammate.

Speaker 2 We'd be perfect together. He was doing it with Jimmy Butler.

Speaker 61 That fell through.

Speaker 49 You know, there was talk about Russell Westbrook and Paul George being traded to Toronto, like all kinds of crazy things.

Speaker 34 But at the end of the day, it felt like Kawhi.

Speaker 46 And credit to him was like, I want this exactly, and I'm going to go about it my way and not have leaks and not have.

Speaker 7 It was the one time where you basically all the experts were guessing.

Speaker 49 And we'll get to some of the experts, the quote-unquote experts that I have a problem with, but all the experts were guessing because Kawhi kept it so close to the vest the entire time.

Speaker 3 It was pretty clear he was either just going to go to L.A. or he was going to stay in Toronto.

Speaker 3 I think he was open-minded enough where he thought to himself that if the Raptors could get something done, that he would be open to staying there.

Speaker 3 Because all things being equal for someone like Kawhi, sometimes it's better to just stay in a neighborhood that you've kind of gotten to know like for the last six months instead of trying to find out and figure out an entirely new city.

Speaker 3 Now, the stuff about Kevin Durant was especially weird because you're right, he didn't, Kevin Durant wasn't like, oh, yeah, me and Kawhi are boys. Right.

Speaker 3 I don't think that Kawhi, do you think he's boys with anybody? I think he's just like... He just doesn't have that many guys around him that he's friends with.

Speaker 32 Well, we did the classic, you know, we always make the joke, a quarterback and a coach.

Speaker 53 They'll be like, oh, well, this quarterback was in a passing camp back in 2008 and he ran some drills with this coach.

Speaker 38 So they have a connection the paul george kawaii connection is hilarious because they basically said they were around the same time i think they're a year apart they grew up kind of like in the same area but it's actually uh an hour or two away from each other yeah they both went to small schools fresno state and san diego state it's like but is this really a friendship no that's right

Speaker 3 listing things that are kind of similar right if you go to like fresno state and uh rhode island you're going to keep close track of each other's careers right you're going to be very close growing up coming up together yeah it was was weird.

Speaker 3 And then, like you said, Rob Polinka didn't have, I guess Paul Walker couldn't show up for their meeting. Talked too much.
So

Speaker 3 that would have sealed the deal for Kawhi. It's going to be funny, though, because he's got a new child star.
He's going from Drake to Frankie Munez. The kid from Malcolm in the Middle.

Speaker 3 That's the superstar for the Clippers. Do they have any other superstar fans?

Speaker 38 Yeah, what's that woman's name?

Speaker 57 She's like a huge NBA fan.

Speaker 3 Oh, they got Clippers guy. No, the old guy.
That's the real guy. Who's the oh, fuck.

Speaker 51 Search woman Clippers fan, Hank.

Speaker 46 It's definitely, I see it in my head.

Speaker 23 Fuck, what's her name?

Speaker 4 Either way, I got some things I need to, I wrote down that I wanted to.

Speaker 14 Clipper Darrell is a search woman.

Speaker 2 Clipper Darrell, but there is that woman, too.

Speaker 60 She's a huge.

Speaker 72 I think Billy Crystal is a Clippers fan.

Speaker 3 Good, good for him.

Speaker 70 Yeah, I think he is. Can you find that woman for me?

Speaker 45 All right, so I have a list of things I wanted to just throw out there at PFT.

Speaker 65 Kate Upton. Oh, this check.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 12 That woman.

Speaker 14 Yes. What's her name?

Speaker 30 I don't know.

Speaker 72 Hank Penny. Penny.

Speaker 9 Penny something.

Speaker 26 Do we have her on the rundown?

Speaker 74 Penny something.

Speaker 3 James Goldstein.

Speaker 6 He's a fan of the NBA.

Speaker 75 He's this league guy. Rebecca Grant.

Speaker 66 No,

Speaker 14 that's not who we're talking about.

Speaker 29 Donald Sterling. Oh.

Speaker 12 Oh, my God, Tank. I'll do the work for him.

Speaker 14 Hey, I did it.

Speaker 38 People are probably screaming at this podcast right now.

Speaker 3 Real quick, connect the dots here. This is kind of crazy.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Kawhi is going from nurse to doc. True.
Penny Marshall. That's wild.

Speaker 76 Penny Marshall.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he is. And there was a lot of...

Speaker 3 He loves that healthcare.

Speaker 49 There's a weird rumor that Paul George used to date Doc Rivers' daughter.

Speaker 74 That's a fact. That is a fact.

Speaker 12 And maybe cheated on her.

Speaker 3 So that's a this. That's another this league.

Speaker 18 Okay, so here's some things I wanted to throw out there.

Speaker 4 One, the Rich Paul picture.

Speaker 4 So Rich Paul, I think, found out while sitting courtside with Anthony Davis and LeBron James during the earthquake game, the Zion Earthquake game, which shout out to the NBA for having safety first.

Speaker 20 I had the Knicks minus four for way too much money because you do weird shit in the summer and you you bet NBA Summer Leagues.

Speaker 21 Being part of an Earthquake-canceled game, bucket list for a moment.

Speaker 3 Not something that you'd ever expect. Bucket list.

Speaker 20 They were down, and I was going to lose a lot of money on a game I shouldn't have bet on.

Speaker 13 Boom, Earthquake saved me.

Speaker 3 It's kind of soft that they don't play through an earthquake, though.

Speaker 56 It was crazy.

Speaker 3 Like the old NBA would. Like the NBA of the 90s with the Bad Boy Pistons.

Speaker 58 So the Rich Paul picture, hilarious.

Speaker 37 I'm pretty sure he found out while he was sitting there that LeBron does not own this league.

Speaker 35 Lakers Twitter.

Speaker 21 Lakers Twitter had the worst showing, the worst two-week showing of any fan base.

Speaker 78 Basically, attacking anyone who would say that Kawhi was going anywhere but the Lakers, doing the thing where they had the mural up for Kawhi.

Speaker 7 They had Kawhi in a Lakers jersey.

Speaker 56 It was a full-blown, why wouldn't he go to the Lakers?

Speaker 20 We're the greatest team of all time, even though we haven't made the playoffs in forever.

Speaker 80 And then Laker Twitter meltdown after was awesome because they're all mad because the Little Brothers are winning now.

Speaker 40 Clippers get Kawhi and Paul George.

Speaker 8 The Nets get Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving.

Speaker 4 The The Little Brothers in the cities are now winning in the NBA.

Speaker 3 Let me just say the rivalry is back on between the Clippers and the Lakers. And, I mean, the Lakers might very well be better than the Clippers next year.

Speaker 3 It'll be weird to see, because obviously there are pieces that need to fit in in both places.

Speaker 3 Rondo's back with the Lakers, too. I saw Magic Johnson's tweet just, I mean, this is what you wanted when he retired to be able to tweet freely about people.

Speaker 3 He just listed all the players that are going to the Clippers and the Lakers, and he threw in JaVail in there. And he's about talking about how the balance is shifting.

Speaker 8 And he was basically like Kyle Kuzma's defense is the key to the championship.

Speaker 82 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 83 He was probably low-key. Like, Kuzma's probably pissed.
I didn't get quiet because now he's like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 65 Yeah. All the pressure's on me.

Speaker 33 And you know what?

Speaker 83 And he is like the prime guy. LeBron's going to blame him.

Speaker 3 Now, Russell Westbrook wants to be traded too.

Speaker 55 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 He's made it known that he wants to leave and get out of town. And so, like, that, where the fuck is he going to go?

Speaker 2 All right, so I wanted to get that.

Speaker 81 Okay, see, from their perspective,

Speaker 40 I feel like if you're an Oklahoma City Thunder fan, first of all, you can't really complain that much much because you stole the Supersonics.

Speaker 3 You're stole.

Speaker 3 You're all scabs.

Speaker 16 It does suck, though, to have Paul George basically sign last year when everyone thought he was going to the Lakers.

Speaker 20 And I think maybe there was probably a part where it was tampering and Adam Silver was like, hey, you can't tamper this openly.

Speaker 37 Paul George, you have to stay.

Speaker 6 He was the kid, I likened it to the kid who goes to a weird college and all his friends are like, dude, I don't know about that.

Speaker 35 And then transfers after you're like, yeah, that makes more sense.

Speaker 3 The open tampering is like you're home at your parents' place for a short break in college, and you're drinking a beer at the kitchen table, and they're like, just go downstairs.

Speaker 3 Just go into the basement. Right, just do it.

Speaker 41 Get out of sight.

Speaker 3 Don't do it in front of me.

Speaker 87 Right.

Speaker 46 The Thunder got, I think, the most first-round picks that's ever been traded.

Speaker 17 Five, three of them from the Clippers, two of them from the heat that the Clippers had.

Speaker 2 It essentially, my favorite part about this trade, and it's very different because Paul George is in his prime.

Speaker 17 He was third in MVP.

Speaker 32 Like, he's perfect to match with Kawhi.

Speaker 46 They're going to be a defensive juggernaut, but it is perfect that right at the end of the whole Nets Celtics trade that ruined the Nets when they traded like all their picks,

Speaker 46 the NBA immediately forgets it.

Speaker 39 It's like, all right, let's trade all of our picks.

Speaker 35 And again, I'm saying the Clippers had to do this deal because it was five picks for Kawhi and Paul George together.

Speaker 78 But it's just funny to watch a team right as the memory starts to fade from that deal.

Speaker 58 They're like, okay, let's trade everything.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and so they had to do it.

Speaker 3 The Thunder at the time, I thought good for them. They kind of had to do it.
Had to do it. And they got a shitload of assets back.
That's an NBA term, then five, five first-round plus,

Speaker 3 we call them assets, and and

Speaker 3 back.

Speaker 3 But then,

Speaker 3 doing that trade pissed off Westbrook so much that they lost him because Westbrook seriously has like he has no room in his brain to operate to think, like, oh, they had to trade Paul George or else it would have been ruined.

Speaker 3 He just feels disrespected now, so now he's going to go nuclear.

Speaker 43 Well, he unfollowed Paul George on Instagram.

Speaker 61 Fuck, that's the first step.

Speaker 3 Petty wars. He didn't have to go that far.

Speaker 29 I don't think it's going to go nuclear because I think Oklahoma City is such a weird

Speaker 49 small market team where they're like, Russ, you did us right by signing this contract.

Speaker 17 We will figure out a way to trade you somewhere you want to go.

Speaker 3 I just can't believe dudes follow other dudes on Instagram to begin with. Yeah, and then they unfollowed him.

Speaker 7 But yeah, so

Speaker 58 Russ, there is a theory, PFT.

Speaker 60 There's a theory out there.

Speaker 70 Russ is he basically

Speaker 72 starts every super team because

Speaker 6 he basically made Kevin Durant leave for the Warriors, and now he's done this again for Paul George to go to the Clippers.

Speaker 12 If you play with Russell Westbrook, at some point you're going to be like, I'd rather not play with Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're going to want to leave town as soon as possible. So, actually, as a Wizards fan, I hope that they find a way to get Westbrook so everybody else on the team wants to leave.

Speaker 14 Right. Because he's going to

Speaker 2 stinks.

Speaker 3 I bet you he's going to go to, I want him to go to Miami because Russell Westbrook and Jay-Butt together in miami the all-time 44 win never going to go past the second round team like they would be a dynasty of that yes they would give those uh like the crittenden gilbert arenas wizards run for their money in terms of dysfunction okay so the clippers i want to talk about the clippers real quick the jerry west first of all is hall of fame uh getting the big fish so he got shaq Kobe in the trade.

Speaker 2 He basically put together, helped put together the Warriors.

Speaker 6 And then now he's he's an executive board member for the Clippers to help land Kawhi.

Speaker 3 What's his official capacity in LA? I was trying to figure this out. Just like Jerry West, I don't think he ever has a job title anywhere that he goes.
He's just like a guy.

Speaker 3 And if you say that he's got power, then he's just the fucking man in whatever room that he's in.

Speaker 32 I think he just sits in rooms and everyone.

Speaker 87 It's the logo.

Speaker 14 It's just like, oh, it's Jerry West.

Speaker 46 Everyone bangs their head against the table.

Speaker 35 And then he's like, hey, what if we just traded for Paul George?

Speaker 24 And they're like, what? Really? Okay. Sirens are good.

Speaker 53 Let's do that.

Speaker 2 So Jerry West deserves, I don't know how much credit, but it's just crazy when you look at his resume.

Speaker 16 The Clippers, having Steve Ballmer be front and center for a title, like they're the favorites now in Vegas.

Speaker 4 Kawhi Leonard and Steve Ballmer is the greatest mismatch in emotional energy.

Speaker 19 I'm so excited to watch them interact.

Speaker 3 But in terms of products, pretty much exactly the same.

Speaker 3 Like, I cannot imagine a better spokesperson for Bing than Kawhi Leonard. Yes.
He is going to be perfect for that and for like Excel. Like, hi, I'm Kawhi Leonard.
Let me talk to you about your macros.

Speaker 14 Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 That would be great. Yeah, but you're right.

Speaker 3 Like, having Steve Ballmer get energized in the playoffs on the sidelines, probably saying some things about the refs that he shouldn't or is not allowed to be saying about the refs, that's going to be a shitload of fun to watch next year.

Speaker 11 And then I had

Speaker 12 the case can be made. So

Speaker 69 I wouldn't make this case, but Kawhi, because he is so quiet and so robotic-like, He's now screwed over a bunch of franchises.

Speaker 2 The Spurs, he definitely screwed over.

Speaker 76 Well, the Heat.

Speaker 3 What do you mean? By beating the fuck out of them.

Speaker 34 Oh, well, yeah, the Heat beat them.

Speaker 7 But yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 They went one and one.

Speaker 5 But yeah, but the Spurs by leaving them.

Speaker 62 I don't think you could say he screwed over the Raptors, but still leaving.

Speaker 59 No, but I'm just saying leaving.

Speaker 12 He screwed over the Thunder

Speaker 26 by taking Paul George.

Speaker 3 Let's be clear. Fans of the Raptors.

Speaker 3 They're very happy with the way things turned out. Yeah, they wanted him to stick around, but they acknowledge that this was like a major rental.

Speaker 86 Flags 5 fly forever.

Speaker 90 Right.

Speaker 2 The Thunder by stealing Paul George.

Speaker 4 The Lakers by drawing out this process and letting them think that they were going to get Kawhi and then them not being able to sign like J.J.

Speaker 20 Reddick or any of these guys that would have been great fits.

Speaker 2 So he basically is destroying, he not only destroys super teams, but he also destroys the teams that he was on or around his world.

Speaker 13 It's beautiful. It is.
It is.

Speaker 79 He is the terminator.

Speaker 14 But because he's so quiet, people love it.

Speaker 36 Right, exactly.

Speaker 57 Like, if LeBron did this,

Speaker 12 I'll fully admit that I would roast him forever.

Speaker 13 But Kawhi, it's like, that was awesome, man.

Speaker 3 I think it's because Kawhi doesn't go out there acting like he is the most benevolent person in the world. Yes.

Speaker 3 Like, LeBron James, to his credit, does a lot of good in the communities, but he is also like the very first to be out there trying to put his name out as like a philanthropist and like a superstar and all that stuff.

Speaker 3 Kawhi, he just keeps his mouth shut and ends up destroying some of the same teams that he worked.

Speaker 3 He's kind of like LeBron in a lot of ways, but he's just not as active on Instagram.

Speaker 37 Now they're sharing the same building, and it's going to be awesome to watch, and there's going to to be big-time petty wars because Kawhi is the guy.

Speaker 74 If you picked one guy who's like, to take down LeBron, it's Kawhi because he has that, like, you can't even figure him out.

Speaker 59 You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 He's that silent assassin that is watching them in the same building.

Speaker 20 It's going to be a Christmas Day.

Speaker 90 You ready for that? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 12 Big time Christmas Day.

Speaker 83 Nets, Knicks, Lakers,

Speaker 13 Slippers.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but yeah, that will be great. And then, all right, so the last thing I want to talk about was sources.

Speaker 2 This fucking Airy Abraham kid.

Speaker 3 I don't even know who it was. I didn't know who he was until after Woj already beat him to the scoop.
And then I did the thing where I had to reverse engineer in my brain who he was.

Speaker 3 And I've never felt dumber after finding out more about a person in my life since I knew this person is. He sucks.
Listen, to his credit, Leroy...

Speaker 3 did not get anything wrong about the Kawhi transaction or an NBA free agency for that matter. Leroy is a better NFL insider than this, or NBA insider than him, and that's not even his first job.

Speaker 3 But this kid

Speaker 32 and also the random Reddit guy who deleted his Twitter account, the Clippers guy or the Lakers guy, R.D.

Speaker 4 Lakers or something.

Speaker 20 The amount of people that believed just these random people who said they had inside sources.

Speaker 49 And he tweeted, like, it was very, very clear.

Speaker 32 He said the Clippers are out.

Speaker 53 The Clippers are out multiple times.

Speaker 34 And I wouldn't care, but he went on a victory lap.

Speaker 32 against everyone and was saying Woj was stupid and calling people out and saying you'll see when it happens and then just did a complete I didn't didn't even, I wasn't even wrong.

Speaker 20 It was a material change.

Speaker 17 Sources, and then Jalen Rose.

Speaker 16 Although Jalen Rose, credit to him, I don't know if you noticed, but he said

Speaker 64 99% what he's hearing is quiet to the Raptors.

Speaker 7 So he could just say he was hearing wrong.

Speaker 3 Now, that's an old trick, saying,

Speaker 3 I'm hearing from various sources in league circles.

Speaker 3 Anytime somebody says league circles about the NBA or about the NFL, then you know it's bullshit because usually it's just like a GM or more typically an assistant GM like trying to blow smoke up your ass.

Speaker 3 Jalen Rose, 99%. I'm hearing.

Speaker 3 What else are the other ones? Barring a change of heart. Yes.
Is another nice one to tack on at the end?

Speaker 19 Material change.

Speaker 32 Barring a material change, but this kid is hiding behind.

Speaker 2 Either way, credit to the people who basically, there was a lot of NBA insiders who said, I don't fucking know because no one knows.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Because Kawhi doesn't know.

Speaker 12 Kawhi didn't know till he got Paul George to, you know, that trade basically made up his mind to go to the Clippers up until, you know, on July 4th, Kawhi probably didn't know.

Speaker 14 He was hoping to go to the Clippers, but he didn't know.

Speaker 3 Let me just say, I reserve all rights to take back all of these takes in the event that Leroy gets something wrong.

Speaker 39 Which he doesn't. I will change.

Speaker 48 Well, no, remember, we're both on board for Leroy now.

Speaker 3 Okay. Because remember, he doesn't delete tweets.
He doesn't delete tweets anymore. Anymore.
Anymore.

Speaker 55 He did that.

Speaker 3 He did it once, and he learned.

Speaker 3 He was a bad dog.

Speaker 65 He's a very, very bad boy.

Speaker 3 He's a bad dog. That means

Speaker 14 Leroy, remember? Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 4 New Year.

Speaker 12 Leroy might have been taking the scoop game a little too seriously.

Speaker 3 The nice thing about Leroy is, since he's a dog, he gets seven New Year's every year. So he gets a chance to turn over a new week frequently.

Speaker 12 So he's done that.

Speaker 37 And then finally, the only other thing I wrote down was Oklahoma City last year when Paul George signed with the Thunder declared July 7th Paul George Day.

Speaker 14 So that's kind of awkward.

Speaker 3 That's today. There's also this that Kevin Durant announced that he was going to be number seven.
Yes. Probably just so that he could do hashtag servant and have the SB a seven.

Speaker 73 Or stay mellow.

Speaker 3 Or a stay mellow for himself, I guess.

Speaker 50 If he just, if he cucked Carmelo Anthony's hashtag,

Speaker 3 would be all-time lose lucky number seven yeah oh that would be nice like a good old-fashioned hashtag theft yes um but he announced it at seven o'clock on seven seven that's pretty cool pretty trippy that's pretty cool whoa

Speaker 29 all right so that's all I mean

Speaker 14 it was crazy this league and we also didn't even we missed because we did Sunday's show and we missed D'Angelo Russell going to the Warriors and the Warriors Clay that was so long ago it was so long ago but I just want to say Clay Thompson if there's ever ever a guy who's going to do the Adrian Peterson, how the fuck is he back so early from an injury, it's Clay Thompson.

Speaker 20 And don't be shocked if next spring, all of a sudden it's Clay, Draymond, D'Angelo Russell, and Stephan being like, how the fuck are they doing this again?

Speaker 26 That could happen.

Speaker 67 That's a bar argument.

Speaker 14 You know what?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a bar argument.

Speaker 3 I don't necessarily believe it now, but if you got like half a mad dog into me, then I'd start to listen. His game lends itself to that, too.
Like, he's not going to, he could survive.

Speaker 3 He won't be the same clay that we've seen in the years past, but he could survive getting back after, like, I don't know, four months off next year and still be a very, very serviceable catch-and-shoot player.

Speaker 86 It's all, it's all this league.

Speaker 2 Credit to the NBA.

Speaker 9 They do have the best offseason.

Speaker 6 Yep. And it's the truth.

Speaker 19 And now that we're like done with this offseason, we can just get ready for football because this is kind of the final, okay, now we're done.

Speaker 12 Let's move on to the real season, the football season.

Speaker 19 We'll worry about the NBA when the Clippers and Lakers play on Christmas Day.

Speaker 20 That's when it snaps back in.

Speaker 60 Like, oh, okay, here we go.

Speaker 22 These guys are playing.

Speaker 32 Do you have any other last thoughts about that?

Speaker 83 I was just going to say, also, this league goes hand in hand with like NBA Twitter is probably the funniest Twitter of any major.

Speaker 26 By far.

Speaker 14 By far.

Speaker 83 So it's like the Kawhi stuff. It was 3 a.m.
and it's just like every single thing was hilarious.

Speaker 14 Yeah. For the whole, the whole next day.

Speaker 3 NFL better.

Speaker 14 Not NFL.

Speaker 83 But the thing with NFL, I was thinking about it. The thing with NFL is that everything happens in such a compact amount of time that there's like so much, it's hard to pay attention.

Speaker 83 It's not like the NBA, the day after a bunch of free agency shit happens, everything is funny.

Speaker 6 The top NBA Twitters are the funniest people.

Speaker 3 The beauty about the NFL Twitter, though, is that you have so many people that take it so seriously that don't know how ridiculous they're being. Like when they do this, it's unintentionally.

Speaker 3 Yes, I know. The seven-round mock drafts that come out in like

Speaker 3 the day after the real NFL draft, and they've got trades and shit in there, like we always talk about.

Speaker 3 The fantasy, the guys that are super into daily fantasy that end their apathy.

Speaker 30 That's different.

Speaker 30 That's trying with you. Those guys are trying to be funny.

Speaker 77 People who are trying to be funny, the NBA Twitter, they do.

Speaker 2 And this league is annoying because they do it.

Speaker 9 It's annoying when it's in the middle of January.

Speaker 12 It's like a buzzer beater or something.

Speaker 2 And someone does a buzzer beater or someone steals a soul.

Speaker 58 It's like, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 49 I don't care about this.

Speaker 32 But this one week where everything is chaos in the NBA, it is awesome to watch.

Speaker 23 Awesome to watch.

Speaker 47 Okay, should we do a little soccer because we want another World Cup?

Speaker 24 Well, yeah, we should.

Speaker 44 We want another World Cup.

Speaker 3 We're fucking world dominant right now. Go pick the ball up out of the ocean, losers.
And that was talking soccer. That was talking soccer.
Shout out, Rose.

Speaker 26 Shout out, Rose.

Speaker 3 Shout out, Rose. Rose was...
Here's my hot take about Rose.

Speaker 3 She's going to be the next superstar for the women's national team for the next, like, eight years.

Speaker 49 So in four years and in four years.

Speaker 3 In four years and in four years. I'm saying that, like, she's the next Alex Morgan, Megan Rapino.
She's fucking fast as shit. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 41 Yeah, I'm sold on

Speaker 3 Skyline Chili being like a performance-enhancing drug because, holy shit, she was good.

Speaker 3 just we just dominated it was just simple dominance we never we never trailed no it was easy it was actually very unsporting of the united states to never trail in any of these games do you know before the final before the world cup final against netherlands the team that held us scoreless for the longest time

Speaker 69 thailand

Speaker 3 really yeah in that first half yes we we score the u.s women's team scored in the first like 12 minutes against everyone except thailand no we did in thailand but i think we scored at minute like number 12.

Speaker 7 yeah it was yeah it was

Speaker 19 the latest in the the game until the Netherlands parked the bus.

Speaker 14 And their goalie was awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Netherlands absolutely parked the bus.

Speaker 86 So, yeah, that's talking soccer.

Speaker 23 I don't know what else.

Speaker 52 We're going to break down the very strange bleacher report collage in segments.

Speaker 50 Connect some dots.

Speaker 74 Yeah. What are you going to say?

Speaker 3 I was just going to say, what do you think Alex Morgan's going to do now that she won the MVP?

Speaker 3 She's going to go to Disney World, but she can't because she got kicked out for being super drunk. That's why she's.

Speaker 48 Was that Alex Morgan or Hope Solo?

Speaker 3 No, that was Alex Morgan.

Speaker 3 This is like one of the funniest stories of all time. This is, I think, like three years ago.

Speaker 3 She got booted out of Epcot Center in Orlando for being like breathtakingly drunk. Yes.
And just like cussing and swearing at people and telling the cops that she knew the SWAT team.

Speaker 58 She did the beers around the world.

Speaker 3 She did the beers around the world and dominated that just as hard as she dominated the rest of the world.

Speaker 68 So go to Disneyland. Disneyland soccer.

Speaker 56 Go to Disneyland.

Speaker 55 Go to California.

Speaker 30 Epcot?

Speaker 16 Well, no, but I'm sure they're not going to...

Speaker 14 Come on.

Speaker 17 They don't have security to know Disney World, Disneyland.

Speaker 3 Everyone gets that confused. That's true.
They should just, you know what they should do? Make good.

Speaker 3 Be like, tell you what, we're going to let you back into Epcot and you can get as drunk as you possibly can. Yeah.
Like a little competition.

Speaker 2 Go to every country, the beers around the world, every country that we beat.

Speaker 3 You have to drink as many beers against every country's goals you scored against them.

Speaker 41 How many did she score?

Speaker 3 I think she scored like five against Thailand.

Speaker 68 There we go.

Speaker 78 So, yeah, so she should do that and let's do a live stream.

Speaker 60 Keep the party rolling.

Speaker 24 Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 37 Okay, we're going to get to Christian Yelich and talk about the fact that he's not doing the home run derby in a minute.

Speaker 17 Before we do that, let's do some who's back.

Speaker 3 I'm sure we have a lot.

Speaker 47 Hank, why don't you start?

Speaker 83 Sure. I do have a few.
The first one is in the same vein of women's sports, tennis.

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 83 Coco Goff. This has been another incredible thing to watch.
Like one of those things where the first one, she's a 15-year-old.

Speaker 83 She won in like the round of 64, and then in her second match to get into Sweet 16, she like came back. It looked like it was like, oh, good story.
Next round, she gets blown out.

Speaker 83 She was down, I don't know, two sets or whatever. She came all the way back, had two match points, she fought off, and then somehow won.
It's been unbelievable. The fact that she's 15, like,

Speaker 83 I guess there have been, like, a bit of a precedent of, like, 15-year-olds being good at women's tennis.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 83 But it's absolutely like, it's incredible.

Speaker 3 It's like tennis and gymnastics are two sports that you can dominate at the age of 15. Yes.
The Wimbledon, also the Little League World Series, if you say that you're 13.

Speaker 20 And Danny Elmonte.

Speaker 82 Wimbledon, Mount Rushmore of sports to take a nap through.

Speaker 12 I've been napping a lot through Wimbledon because it's the green.

Speaker 13 It's early, too. It's quiet.

Speaker 52 It's just a little bit of grunts here and there.

Speaker 78 But other than that, it's a nice little ease into a nap Wimbledon.

Speaker 83 Who's back is Billy Mitchell? I'm surprised you didn't start the show with him.

Speaker 3 Oh, from King of Kong?

Speaker 41 Yeah. I saw that.

Speaker 83 20-year anniversary of him having the Pac-Man record. He did it again at the same place.
He got a kill screen in Pac-Man.

Speaker 55 He got a kill screen?

Speaker 41 That's so cool.

Speaker 3 Now, was this taped? Is it all in video? There's a picture. I'll see you in the video.

Speaker 87 I don't know.

Speaker 26 I don't know.

Speaker 92 20 years.

Speaker 3 I'll trust Billy Mitchell.

Speaker 8 If you haven't watched King of Kong's Fistful of Quarters, go watch it right now.

Speaker 37 It's one of the greatest documentaries of our time.

Speaker 7 Speaking of which,

Speaker 2 part of that documentary, Foul Ball Guy, who went

Speaker 65 freak broke

Speaker 36 36

Speaker 2 years that he got a baseball at every game he attended.

Speaker 3 That's really tough.

Speaker 3 You got to feel for the game.

Speaker 11 I would have loved to see, I don't think he videotaped this game that he didn't get a ball, but the panic in the eighth and ninth inning must have been insane.

Speaker 3 You know what? Shout out to him, though, for admitting that. Because

Speaker 3 that's one of those streaks that he could have gotten away with, and the entire no one in the world would have known or really cared. Yes.
Except for Marlin's man, if he found out about it.

Speaker 3 Actually, we should tell Marlin's man so that he can gloat. Yeah.

Speaker 76 Anything else, Hank?

Speaker 90 Okay.

Speaker 19 That was a good call on Billy Mitchell.

Speaker 24 All-time villain.

Speaker 67 All-time villain. The hot sauce king.

Speaker 3 My who's back of the week is Bernard Pollard.

Speaker 3 So, Bernard Pollard, you might recognize him. Probably the last time you heard from him was when he was tearing Tom Brady's ACL when he dove into him and didn't really hear too much else from him.

Speaker 3 He's starting to get into the take game. He tweeted out that Tom Brady was a system quarterback.
He tried to get me and Big Cat to have him on part of my take. Now, this is one of those.

Speaker 14 That was hilarious.

Speaker 3 This is out of nowhere because I have not heard from Bernard Pollard in probably nine years or however long it's been.

Speaker 3 So he tweets at us and he's trying to get this discussion going, and he won't let the conversation. We didn't respond to him.
He and Dan Orlovsky.

Speaker 3 I was in Amsterdam. I was thinking I was hallucinating because 20 times a day,

Speaker 3 I was getting notifications on my phone that Dan Orlovsky and Bernard Pollard were arguing in my mentions and talk about a buzzkill, like having to see what they're talking about.

Speaker 3 I muted the conversation of everything Amsterdam has to offer.

Speaker 15 It was horrendous.

Speaker 42 They just would not conversation.

Speaker 3 But it got me thinking, like, after seeing those notifications pop up so much, it was like, maybe Tom Brady really, really is a system quarterback.

Speaker 12 It was the case where you go into a movie and one of your group chats pops off.

Speaker 20 Your group text chain pops off and you get out and there's 250 texts and you're like, uh-oh, someone died.

Speaker 2 Nope.

Speaker 36 It's just Bernard Pollard and Dan Orlofsky sitting there debating Tom Brady as a system quarterback.

Speaker 3 You're getting into stats.

Speaker 60 It was hundreds of tweets and other people hopped in.

Speaker 34 And

Speaker 61 after the third day, it was a tire fire.

Speaker 63 It just wouldn't go out.

Speaker 48 I thought it went out.

Speaker 5 It didn't go out.

Speaker 72 It kept going.

Speaker 6 I woke up, and I was like, I need to mute this conversation.

Speaker 3 I can't handle it anymore. I was seriously looking down at my phone.
I was in a coffee shop, and I was getting all these buzzes.

Speaker 3 Drug guy. No, I'm not a drug guy, but went in Rome.
I was taking out my phone and like trying to follow along with what they're arguing.

Speaker 3 I could not understand how the fuck in the year of our Lord 2019

Speaker 3 were arguing about. Like, it's Tom Brady and Johnny Moxton, two biggest system quarterbacks of all time.
Everyone knows that.

Speaker 41 Crazy.

Speaker 3 My other who's back of the week is NASA.

Speaker 80 Okay.

Speaker 3 NASA's back in a big way. And you remember how last year when I came back, I don't know if I've mentioned this on the show already, but I was in Europe.

Speaker 14 Sure.

Speaker 3 But when I came back, I brought Levi's to the United States. Yeah.
I started that trend of people wearing Levi's shirts.

Speaker 3 It's still going strong, by the way. Coast to coast, not only here, but also overseas.

Speaker 3 I've spotted the next one, the next Levi's. Okay.
NASA shirts. NASA shirts are fucking everywhere in Europe.
I don't understand why.

Speaker 3 I don't pretend to know why these things happen, but as a fashioniste, I was cursed with an eye for noticing these details.

Speaker 4 Do you think it was ironic or unironic?

Speaker 23 No.

Speaker 3 Ironic would have been if they were wearing Space Force shirts.

Speaker 8 Right, but maybe those aren't on the market.

Speaker 3 They're not, but these NASA shirts were everywhere. I'm talking like

Speaker 3 in some of the fanciest stores, they had NASA t-shirts that were being sold for like $99.

Speaker 13 And you weren't hallucinating.

Speaker 3 I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 I can't be too confident, but I'm willing to roll the dice on it and start wearing NASA shirts.

Speaker 22 Okay, so they're wearing NASA shirts in Netherlands.

Speaker 68 Yes, they absolutely have to do that.

Speaker 93 That's what we got from that.

Speaker 61 What about Netherlands?

Speaker 14 Well, no, no, no, everywhere.

Speaker 3 Everywhere that I went in Europe.

Speaker 3 Two places. Well, no, because I was.

Speaker 3 Come on, Pig Cat. I also had a two-hour layover in Paris.

Speaker 14 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 In the airport, I saw NASA shirts there. That's it.

Speaker 12 All right, so NASA is back.

Speaker 3 NASA's back in a big fucking way.

Speaker 86 All right, my who's back is Peter King.

Speaker 81 Peter King. Uh-oh.

Speaker 60 Holy shit.

Speaker 12 PFT, you were in the the Netherlands.

Speaker 17 I don't know if you saw this, but Peter King with the all-time

Speaker 12 eat the trash.

Speaker 20 The 30 for 30 on Joey Chestnut and Kobe Yashi was awesome.

Speaker 2 And he, I actually knew this was coming because Peter King has had this take every single year, every July 4th.

Speaker 13 He hates the Nathan's hot dog eating competition, but here's what he wrote.

Speaker 17 ESPN and 30 for 30 franchise has done some really great docs in journalism.

Speaker 9 A shame that as

Speaker 79 at least a fifth of children in America go to bed hungry nightly, they're highlighting gluttony, treating someone who overeats excessively as a competitive athlete, truly disgusting.

Speaker 3 That's a good take. Really good take.
Good take, Peter. No, he does it.
So every year he does it, but he usually buries it in his MMQB column. Right.
That you have to read. It's like number

Speaker 3 letter J.3 of his 10 things that he thinks that he thinks, which are actually like 40 things. Yes.
And it's like, I wish that we didn't do the Nathan's hot dog eating comic.

Speaker 4 It is unbelievable to watch where Peter King draws the line.

Speaker 32 Putting a serial rapist into the Hall of Fame, okay.

Speaker 12 Darren Sharper.

Speaker 4 Eating too many hot dogs on 4th of July?

Speaker 7 Nuh. Don't do it.

Speaker 2 Covering a sport for 30, 40 years, whatever he's covered, where guys are dying from brain injuries and everything and basically carrying the NFL's water?

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 4 Watching Joey Chestnut eat 71 hot dogs on July 4th?

Speaker 89 Uh-uh.

Speaker 59 That's Peter King's line.

Speaker 3 Nope. That and also appearing on part of my take.

Speaker 19 And appearing on part of my take when he decided to just get woke off of a suit.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We bought you two fucking, two fucking in-and-out burgers, Peter, and you didn't pay me back.

Speaker 26 I want that money back.

Speaker 57 We bought him two in-and-out burgers at the 49ers

Speaker 21 camp, and we watched Tiger almost win the PGA championship.

Speaker 18 All-time moment.

Speaker 2 We shared a moment, and then you went and decided to do that.

Speaker 3 Also, Peter, I've purchased you a mad dog before, so that's another $2.49 that we're going to be back. Isn't he not supposed to take gifts as a journalist?

Speaker 3 As a journalist, he's not supposed to, but sometimes, you know. I think there's a shake in something.
Sometimes the belly gets a rumbling. Yes.

Speaker 3 I bought you a Starbucks one time, Peter, when you came to our office, and me and you were going to do a show together. Wow.

Speaker 22 Wow. Interesting.
For shame.

Speaker 23 But

Speaker 67 no hot dogs.

Speaker 14 And then

Speaker 37 our nemesis, whatever, on again, off again, front of me, I don't know what to call him.

Speaker 46 Ravel was like, actually, Nathan donates like 100,000 hot dogs.

Speaker 55 He was actually the shit out of him.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 22 It was such a great dunk on him because Peter King deciding that hot dog eating competitions are too much.

Speaker 24 Peter King.

Speaker 66 You don't think you've never ate in past when you were full, Peter King?

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Is that what you're telling me right now?

Speaker 3 Also, Peter, do you ever look at porn and you're like, this is disgusting. There are millions of incels out there that can't have sex and won't have sex.
God damn it, Peter King.

Speaker 17 All right, my other who's back is Psycho Jake Arietta.

Speaker 40 So quickly, he got into a little,

Speaker 20 I don't know what it was, a beef on the field with Todd Frazier, and afterwards said that if they see each other, he'll put a dent in his skull.

Speaker 4 So, Jake Arietta, Psycho Jake.

Speaker 26 I love psycho Jake.

Speaker 86 No, I love psycho.

Speaker 73 He's not pitching well.

Speaker 4 So, the psychoness

Speaker 30 isn't as cool.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it hurts, but you know, we call him weird Jake. You know,

Speaker 17 you know, one of those guys who when he does something amazing for one of your teams, no matter what he does after that point, you're just like, I love that guy.

Speaker 19 So, when he walks around saying he's going to put a dent in people's skull, I'm just like, you know what?

Speaker 73 I still love that guy.

Speaker 3 He did a greatness for your city. It's like, what are you going to do?

Speaker 5 I still love that guy.

Speaker 78 Okay, let's get to the man, the NL MVP of last year, who is not doing the home run derby.

Speaker 26 Fucking damn shit.

Speaker 12 Well, let's find out why with Christian Yelich.

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Speaker 37 Here he is, Christian Yelich.

Speaker 43 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, reigning NLMVP,

Speaker 49 and unfortunately,

Speaker 8 not a competitor in the home run derby.

Speaker 20 Tomorrow night, it is Christian Yelich. Christian, let's start with the most important thing

Speaker 20 that's going on, your back, your health. I want to make sure that that you're okay.
How's it feeling?

Speaker 44 Talk us through it.

Speaker 22 I'm just praying for you, man.

Speaker 97 No, I'm all right. I'll be fine.
I just, I tweaked it a little bit last night in the game and then just woke up this morning and realized I wasn't going to be able to participate.

Speaker 97 And I was super, super bummed out about that for a number of reasons. But

Speaker 97 I just, it wasn't meant to be, you know, it just wasn't meant to be this year.

Speaker 97 But you just said if you ever, you know, it could be this year it could be next year it could be 10 years from now it could be ever forever until i'm done playing baseball it felt like

Speaker 3 it felt like it was a this year thing and let me just say like i i'm also i'm very bummed the whole thing is the whole thing's tainted it's gonna get a while to get this bad taste out of my mouth i'm just it's a tough thing for us to get to on the show as well and hank was saying earlier that he didn't think that next year would count and hank's been the one that's been pushing this on us this year but for whatever reason he doesn't think that it's a lifetime bet and you know what?

Speaker 3 I was,

Speaker 3 I wanted to agree with you, Christian, but Hank made some good bets.

Speaker 97 If you check the tape,

Speaker 97 that's what it's a lifetime. They said if you ever, so we're good.
You know, it's just a little disappointing that it's not going to be in the immediate future.

Speaker 97 It's just, it's going to happen, though.

Speaker 85 Yeah, listen, future me can deal with that.

Speaker 66 I have no problem.

Speaker 78 We're literally doing the exact same thing we did last year because when I said it last year, I was like, there's no way a year will come.

Speaker 2 And right now, as I'm sitting here, July 8th, 2019, next year is not going to come either.

Speaker 43 So I'm fine.

Speaker 5 What?

Speaker 52 So, you know, you're not able to compete. Do you think that you would have won?

Speaker 85 Because it's a stacked field, but you were confident, huh?

Speaker 14 How unable to compete

Speaker 55 aren't you?

Speaker 93 Is a better question.

Speaker 26 I don't know if I would have.

Speaker 83 Like, if it was the playoffs, if it was the playoffs, if it was a home run derby playoffs, like Kirk Gibson

Speaker 92 went out there with one leg.

Speaker 97 I'm going to still try and play in the game but oh thank god thank god

Speaker 97 i hope you hit two home runs yeah the all-star game with the kids we were hoping that you'd play on tuesday night because it's an honor to be an all-star and a starter at that so we're just happy you're able to get out there on tuesday you guys are just you guys are just so kind but i don't know i don't know if i would have won but it would have been even if i didn't win just making you guys sweat would have made it worth it and it would have made it worth it to everybody who's been following along with this thing over the over the past year i think everybody i think it was split 50-50 on people that actually wanted to see it happen and people that just wanted to see you sweat and then get let off the hook at the end.

Speaker 100 Yes.

Speaker 42 But the good news is, I got a waxing

Speaker 14 and a bleaching.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Can I send you an invoice for that?

Speaker 97 No, because you'll still be good for it in a year. You know, you're just getting ahead of it.
And probably the more that it happens, the better off that you'll be.

Speaker 3 That bleaching is not going to last for a year.

Speaker 99 You're right. You're right.

Speaker 59 There are a lot of people want to make us sweat.

Speaker 45 There are a weird group of people on Twitter that I actually think want to see this happen.

Speaker 48 Yeah. Well, Hank's one of them.

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's, it's weird. It's very weird.
So you're going to try to play in the all-star derby. No, he's going to play.
You're going to play in the all-star derived during this year.

Speaker 23 First report here.

Speaker 12 He's going to play on Tuesday night.

Speaker 3 You've hit 31 home runs this year. I think that you're making a smart call.

Speaker 3 First of all, if you compete in the home run derby, there's a chance you could ruin your swing.

Speaker 14 No.

Speaker 3 I know you've said before.

Speaker 3 Well, there's a chance it could happen, so I'm really glad that it's not.

Speaker 3 Do you think that you can break the record this year?

Speaker 3 the real record, the 61 record.

Speaker 97 I don't know. I mean, that's a lot of that's a lot of homer.
It would be only like 70-something games left. I mean, that's like a hummer every other day, so I

Speaker 97 don't know.

Speaker 97 It'll be tough for sure, but um, you know, we'll see. You never know, you never know what could happen.
We didn't think we'd be sitting here a year ago today, so yeah, I'm not gonna

Speaker 97 say what will not happen anymore because you never know. I think I learned that lesson from you guys, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for 56 home runs since the last time when you were on.

Speaker 17 You've been on in between, but you were on last year at the All-Star game in Washington, D.C.

Speaker 38 From that point till this point, you've hit 56 home runs, which is insane.

Speaker 14 Hand up.

Speaker 1 I never thought you had it in you. You did tell us.

Speaker 20 You said, I have a beautiful home run swing, and apparently you just stood up in your stance. Maybe that's what's hurting your back.

Speaker 38 Maybe you need to start slouching more and go for more contact.

Speaker 18 Singles, stay in your lane, bro.

Speaker 93 Oh, man.

Speaker 97 So, you know what? I told you this earlier when we were texting those i i was

Speaker 97 i'm just sorry to disappoint people i i really just didn't want to do that i wanted to you know get i was really looking forward to just the night the show everything that comes with it everything that was uh you know been leading up to this point so it's disappointing that it has to take a back seat for uh a year but you know what we'll have our we'll have our day what if you what if you're not good next year yeah what if you don't get what if you're not invited next year

Speaker 30 we have

Speaker 97 we have the rest of my so so this has to be like one more year in my career. I have to be good, you know, I have to just figure it out for one year.

Speaker 97 It doesn't have to be next year, maybe two years from now, ten years from now. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Oh, you're doing that, okay?

Speaker 3 So you're going to make us sweat every single summer.

Speaker 33 Okay, yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 86 No, I actually think we should, let's clarify the bet right here.

Speaker 34 And now, you're, I think it only should count for the one time.

Speaker 57 Like, you can't do the home run derby every year.

Speaker 8 I think it should be a home run derby.

Speaker 2 The next one you do, the one you have to enter it and play in it, and that will be the bet.

Speaker 97 I don't think that's for us to decide. I think that's for the people to decide.

Speaker 30 Well, Christian, did you listen to the actual words that we said?

Speaker 97 Something of that magnitude is not for

Speaker 97 our three minds to decide. It has to go out to the people and the voice of the people, whatever they think is fair, is fair.

Speaker 3 Well, they're obviously going to want us to eat each other's assholes.

Speaker 97 You don't know.

Speaker 93 So weird. I don't want that.

Speaker 3 I think they are.

Speaker 62 It's so weird. All right.

Speaker 32 So you're not gonna be in the home run derby on Monday.

Speaker 20 Now, there's a some people are are saying that I did something to you, that I hurt you.

Speaker 20 Can you do you want to use your time right now to clear the air that I didn't, you know, Jeff Glue you and I wasn't in Pittsburgh and I didn't there isn't any funny business.

Speaker 12 I didn't pay you off.

Speaker 97 No, you're in the clear.

Speaker 97 Nothing fishy happened. Just,

Speaker 97 you know, you're lucky stars align and just wasn't meant to be this year. You got yeah, got let off the hook and uh

Speaker 97 yeah, it's it's just

Speaker 97 it's just something, a freak little incident in the game. And

Speaker 97 yeah,

Speaker 93 you're in the clear.

Speaker 20 You know what's crazy is I actually, the most nerve-wracking time was we were texting on Saturday talking about you coming on the show on Sunday, and that's when you told me that your back was acting up.

Speaker 61 I thought you were fucking with me the whole time.

Speaker 97 I still think you're, there's like a 0.01% of me that thinks in the most dramatic fashion ever, you're going to show up on Monday night and be like, haha got you guys i'm actually doing the home run derby so that'd be awesome i'm still woke on that that'd be pretty cool that would be pretty cool way to go about it i didn't think of that but yeah uh if i did that would have been pretty awesome just have everybody be in on it but uh unfortunately you're gonna be all right and i know you're probably gonna have that little voice in the back of your head until it's official but uh

Speaker 97 Yeah, I won't be running out there, but that would have been pretty awesome.

Speaker 3 So if this were to happen, let's just say that in an alternate universe, or maybe you're just playing us and you're going to show up tomorrow and hit 27 home runs in each round.

Speaker 3 Would you watch me and Big Cat fulfill our end of the bet?

Speaker 97 Nah, I would not

Speaker 100 watch it. I'd

Speaker 92 feel too bad.

Speaker 65 Come on. And I just wouldn't.

Speaker 97 I really just wouldn't want to see it.

Speaker 63 You would have to look, though.

Speaker 3 Curiosity would get the best of it.

Speaker 97 No, see, you guys made that. You guys made that bet, that bet, you know, that you guys got to do what you got to do after that.

Speaker 97 i i'm doing my end

Speaker 97 so the rest is uh the balls in your court on that one

Speaker 7 okay so christian you you did mention that you feel bad and you let a lot of people down who wanted to watch this home run derby and um it feels like it feels like the death of something here because this was going to be a big moment and with every uh you know what is it what's the old saying with every every time guy closes a door he opens a window so what would you think about hank maybe getting a cat so we bring another life into this world to make everyone a little happiness?

Speaker 3 What if you hit a home run in the all-star game and Hank has to get a cat? Yeah.

Speaker 97 You want him to get a cat? Why does he need to get a cat?

Speaker 93 Is that something that's been going on?

Speaker 3 Hank's has always wanted a cat.

Speaker 20 We're just doing all-one song. Every bet's the same.

Speaker 52 So, if you hit a home, if you hit a home run in the all-star game with your bad back, should Hank have to get a cat?

Speaker 100 Absolutely.

Speaker 24 Absolutely.

Speaker 3 I mean, Hank, we'll have to put it on the board.

Speaker 57 You're only going to get one at bat, right?

Speaker 12 Like, that's usually one at bat, and then you're out.

Speaker 97 Yeah,

Speaker 97 one or two.

Speaker 21 What if you hit two home runs, Hank?

Speaker 90 Hank, if he hits two home runs in the all-star game, will you get a cat?

Speaker 69 Sure.

Speaker 30 There it is.

Speaker 29 All right, Christian. We got something out of this.

Speaker 33 We were counting on it. We got something.

Speaker 65 All right, I got one last question for you, Christian.

Speaker 56 You got to hit two home runs in this all-star game.

Speaker 72 We really parlayed this nice thing.

Speaker 3 We lick each other's buttholes into Hank having to get a pussy.

Speaker 9 Will you tell Dave Roberts that you have to get a second at bat

Speaker 39 if you hit a home run in the first one?

Speaker 97 That's up to Dave.

Speaker 97 We'll see how it goes down, but I don't think anybody would mind that.

Speaker 12 Damn, that would be so good.

Speaker 50 All right, I got one last question.

Speaker 19 It's a SeatGeek question.

Speaker 12 Promo code take.

Speaker 4 Put in promo code take. Go to the home run derby.

Speaker 40 Watch all the stars out on Monday.

Speaker 41 I'm great to watch.

Speaker 30 Vlad.

Speaker 3 It's so fun.

Speaker 20 Pete Alonzo, Vlad Jr.,

Speaker 35 Josh Bell, all these stars, these up-and-coming stars.

Speaker 49 It's going to be a great title.

Speaker 3 It's really just a fun night for television.

Speaker 32 Yeah, put in promo code take, and you get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.

Speaker 17 All right.

Speaker 52 The boat in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 3 Tell us that story.

Speaker 91 What happened?

Speaker 101 Well,

Speaker 97 we were out there practicing for it,

Speaker 97 trying to get everything down.

Speaker 97 The four-minute format and the brakes, and just, you know, we wanted to go about it. And we're practicing in Pittsburgh, and they have the

Speaker 97 shorter right field with the river in the back.

Speaker 97 People had their boats out there for 4th of July weekend and all that.

Speaker 97 guess we

Speaker 97 I guess we broke a window or two out there of someone's boat, and they thought people were throwing balls over the fence and throwing them at their boat.

Speaker 97 And so they called the cops, and I guess the cops called somebody at the stadium, and the

Speaker 97 head clubhouse guy at the stadium told him, no, we were taking battery practice for the practice for the home run derby. So they canceled the dispatch for the 911.

Speaker 97 And I guess they told the guy, tough luck. But yeah, we really got the cops called when I was practicing.

Speaker 31 And,

Speaker 97 you know, that's what really

Speaker 97 started to make. I was actually starting to get excited for this thing after that.
I was like, oh, this actually might go well because practice was going awesome. We were doing really well.

Speaker 97 We had a good flow, and you guys were definitely in trouble.

Speaker 3 How many home runs did you hit in the simulated drive?

Speaker 97 21.

Speaker 3 It sounds like a lot. Fuck.
I'm not sure what the format is because you always tinker with it, but that sounds like a lot.

Speaker 56 That's good to know.

Speaker 1 So we'll see if Vlad, if Vlad Jr.

Speaker 20 hits 22 tomorrow night, then we would have won it.

Speaker 26 Yeah, we wouldn't even have to worry about it.

Speaker 97 Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's what we got into practice. I don't know what would have been the real thing, but we tried to simulate it as much as possible.

Speaker 97 We came out with 21, but

Speaker 97 yeah, we'll just have to see how it all plays out. You know, I guess we'll never know this year, but hopefully at some point in the future,

Speaker 97 we get to find out.

Speaker 3 Last question for me. I noticed that during the playoffs, during the NBA playoffs, you chugged that beer a lot faster than Aaron Rodgers.
Do you feel like you're the true alpha in that town?

Speaker 97 No, he's done a lot more, but I was definitely proud that I was able to get through that whole thing in front of all those people.

Speaker 97 No matter how many beers you've chugged in your life until you've got to do it in front of like a packed stadium where everybody's watching you around a jumbotron, like it's a whole nother level of chugging.

Speaker 97 You don't really know if you can get through it until you tell you to do it in those circumstances.

Speaker 97 And I think if you watch the video at the end, there's like a little part where like I almost don't make it. And then I do.
And

Speaker 97 that's kind of like the spontaneous reaction where my arms go up because I didn't know I kind of started to panic there at the end I didn't know if I was gonna get through but

Speaker 97 we did and

Speaker 97 yeah I definitely

Speaker 97 you know I definitely got through it

Speaker 66 all right Christian thank you uh hit a home run on Tuesday night are you going out are you going out tonight you're in Cleveland is your back good enough to go out

Speaker 67 see I got friends with family in town so

Speaker 97 we'll see what we end up with

Speaker 97 probably get out and do some stuff

Speaker 24 yeah you can walk around. You're fine.

Speaker 16 You just can't do a home run derby.

Speaker 23 Oh, one last, last question.

Speaker 2 What's the plan for the NL Central this year?

Speaker 4 We're all just going to suck our way to someone winning the division?

Speaker 97 I guess we just wanted to keep it tight until the sprint of the finish like last year.

Speaker 97 Yeah, I mean, it could be any of the five teams that end up winning, I think. So we'll see how it plays out.

Speaker 73 All right.

Speaker 22 Thanks for calling in, Christian.

Speaker 37 Best of luck watching the home run derby tomorrow night.

Speaker 32 That's going to be

Speaker 30 out out.

Speaker 3 Let's be honest.

Speaker 3 I was looking forward to watching you play because it's a lot of fun to watch that swing of yours.

Speaker 72 Yeah, and I just want you to be healthy, though.

Speaker 42 I just care about your health.

Speaker 13 I don't care about any of this other stuff.

Speaker 35 These bets, they're stupid when it comes to that.

Speaker 17 Health is the most important thing for you right now.

Speaker 97 Hey, you're both two noble gentlemen. What can I say?

Speaker 92 Thanks, Christian.

Speaker 97 You know, looking forward to it.

Speaker 14 Thanks, Christian. Say health.

Speaker 100 Hey, guys.

Speaker 97 Good talking to you.

Speaker 102 Then delivered right to your door. How does that sound to you? Get 50% off your first box, available only at thefarmersdog.com.

Speaker 32 Okay, let's get to some segments in the Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 72 Hank is so upset.

Speaker 83 I'm trying to be the voice of the people here.

Speaker 56 You think that I actually did something?

Speaker 6 You were like the ways that you skirt out of.

Speaker 14 I didn't know what to do.

Speaker 83 Well, you guys mentioned how you were texting, like, oh, you know, he said I heard something in the game. And you're like, you texted me on Saturday.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 41 It almost appears as if he got caught in his own lie.

Speaker 56 I did say there's no lie.

Speaker 67 Oh, he heard something on Saturday in the game.

Speaker 7 He didn't play on Sunday.

Speaker 6 And I told him, as a a guy who's had back injuries, don't fucking risk it, man.

Speaker 3 And listen, when you look at great players, so many of them have hurt themselves trying to come back from a back injury too early. Yes.

Speaker 33 Dwight Howard, me, 2018

Speaker 94 picker. Larry Bird.

Speaker 3 He sucks at coaching now.

Speaker 52 Oh, speaking of Dwight Howard's play.

Speaker 32 Did you see it? He got traded again.

Speaker 3 We've got to meet him. Yeah, that's right.
Dwight Howard is now in Memphis.

Speaker 26 And then he's going to get out.

Speaker 87 They got bought out, yeah.

Speaker 3 He's going to get bought out. Bought out.
And then we're...

Speaker 14 Hall of Fame teammates.

Speaker 55 Oh, Lakers.

Speaker 42 No.

Speaker 3 He needs to go to Miami with Jay Butt and Russell and Sus Westbrook.

Speaker 20 All right, so Hank, I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 I had nothing to do with this.

Speaker 6 The people, I know they're upset, but guess what?

Speaker 99 You get a whole other year of sending me and PFT ridiculous gifts every time Christian Yellow shits a home run.

Speaker 66 Also, Hank,

Speaker 3 you would have been the person that would have had to edit the video of me and Big Cat licking each other's buttons.

Speaker 83 Yeah, no one was happier than me. I'm just voicing the voice of the game.

Speaker 30 No, you seem upset.

Speaker 14 Remember the time when Big Bad when it's more, I'm not upset.

Speaker 83 I'm just, you know, I'm curious.

Speaker 20 Hank, remember the time when George Brett, we had him in the studio and we did the chili down our diapers and I forgot that the GoPro was in the bathroom and I got completely naked and wiped my ass on the GoPro and you had to watch the footage and delete it?

Speaker 11 Think about that times a million.

Speaker 3 Yeah, or you could pawn it off to me.

Speaker 48 That actually happened.

Speaker 3 But Bubba, you remember the time when I filmed a happy birthday video for Mike Greenberg of me getting into the bathtub naked and I made you edit out my balls and it turns out there was more than just my balls on it?

Speaker 3 Like nobody nobody wants to be going through this footage and turning it into something into shareable, uh, snackable memes for the internet.

Speaker 83 Okay, yeah, there's no market for that.

Speaker 3 That would have been you that would have had to do it, so you should be more thankful than anybody out there, but yeah,

Speaker 3 it's a real shame.

Speaker 45 It's crazy that it happened.

Speaker 1 Let me just eat all eight guys, only one guy gets hurt. Let me just say,

Speaker 3 as a fan of not tasting Big Cat's asshole, let me be the first person to say that it's just such a weird coincidence

Speaker 3 that this happens the day before the dirt.

Speaker 87 The The fact that he's playing is

Speaker 21 he's playing and he's going to hit two home runs.

Speaker 66 If he hits two home runs,

Speaker 80 what will you do?

Speaker 83 I'll get a cat. Because I'm a man of my word.
I wouldn't have skirted him.

Speaker 30 Or we didn't skirt him.

Speaker 83 We would have fucking hit him up and be like, hey, Christian, like, I know we're boys. I just had a kid, so, like, I really don't want to.

Speaker 57 Oh, my God.

Speaker 61 You think that Christian Yellow is pulled out of the Homer Derby because I said that to him?

Speaker 83 I know. I mean, you're sounding suspicious, though.

Speaker 3 I want to just say for the record, now I was happy to do it because

Speaker 3 this is kind of the notch that we've got ourselves tied into over the course of the show. But if you go back and you listen to the actual conversation,

Speaker 7 you already had planned.

Speaker 14 You guys were going to

Speaker 30 kill ourselves.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 when you hear the actual words that were said, Big Cat was the one that promised that we'd eat each other's asses. I was just going to lick a crow's button on the team.

Speaker 24 Wait, wait, we're a team.

Speaker 3 But I'm saying, but I put that aside and said, you know what? For the sake of the show, I'll agree that I was part of this bet.

Speaker 3 I would have had quite a moment of reckoning right there where I could have tried to pull out loud, and I wasn't going to.

Speaker 66 Do you know the real conversation we had?

Speaker 59 Everyone can peek behind the curtain.

Speaker 93 The real conversation we've had and I had.

Speaker 1 We had a conversation where we said we will cut a slice of flesh off of each other's asses and put it in a chili and become cannibals.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 60 We're going to probably do that.

Speaker 3 We were going to become cannibals instead of, so I wouldn't have to put my tongue into his fart box.

Speaker 57 Now we have a whole year, and that's not, we're fine.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 24 We're good.

Speaker 14 We don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 24 A year from now?

Speaker 3 You know, like the weird stuff that modern medicine and science will come up with in a year?

Speaker 27 We have a whole football season.

Speaker 14 Exactly. We'll be fine.

Speaker 26 We'll be fine.

Speaker 26 All right. Let's get to our Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 92 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 103 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 93 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 30 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 103 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.
Terms apply.

Speaker 23 Okay, Mount Rushmore of thrills.

Speaker 44 I'm up first.

Speaker 23 Yeah. I'm up first.

Speaker 41 Okay. This is a good one.

Speaker 3 This is very open-ended.

Speaker 61 Yes, this is very open-end.

Speaker 73 I'm going to go with,

Speaker 32 it's not my favorite one, but I think it's the one that I have to do as the first pick.

Speaker 49 It's the thrill of victory.

Speaker 20 And when your team wins a big game, whether you're at the game, whether you're watching with your friends, there's nothing like having a championship, a big game, or you're even playing like intramural sports, whatever it may be, the thrill of victory is the number one thrill in my mind.

Speaker 3 Okay, that's a good one. Okay.
Kind of vanilla, but it's good.

Speaker 48 Well, you got to go

Speaker 3 with a cop car that's behind you going around you. Okay.
And realizing that it's not there for you.

Speaker 3 It's for someone else. Okay.

Speaker 3 You were breaking the law. Maybe you have something in your car if you're in Europe.

Speaker 3 It's just such a thrilling experience.

Speaker 32 Okay, Hank, you got two.

Speaker 83 Oh, fuck, I forgot I had two. Yeah.

Speaker 83 Don't say,

Speaker 86 don't say the.

Speaker 4 Are you going to say subway?

Speaker 92 No.

Speaker 83 Sneaking into a concert or sporting event, like a big event.

Speaker 48 Butter knife thing. Whether, yeah, maybe you have like a butter knife.

Speaker 83 You got a back door you can sneak through. But even if it's like jumping over a fence and like running away from the guards, or it's like you're just going to like jump over, it's just a thrill.

Speaker 83 You get that the butterflies in your stomach, and it's like, all right, we're going for this.

Speaker 3 That dude on The Bachelor was probably psyched to get out of there. Yep.
That's a good one. That's a good one.
Sneaking into place is one of my favorite teenage activities. Yes.

Speaker 83 And my second one, I will go with betting outside your means.

Speaker 26 Ooh, yes.

Speaker 83 So if either you're at Vegas or you have some money or you're down a lot and you're like, I'm down like 500 bucks. If I lose, I'm going to just bet 500 and go back to even.

Speaker 83 Or if I lose this, I can't pay it.

Speaker 83 That is a thrill. Betting is a thrill, but betting outside your means is even better.

Speaker 3 Yeah, being like way over your skis with a bet that you have to put your tongue inside your friend's butthole, like something like that, not losing that is quite a thrill.

Speaker 87 I agree.

Speaker 48 PFT?

Speaker 3 Buying drugs for the first time.

Speaker 30 Ooh, that's a good thrill.

Speaker 98 Well, no, I'm not a drug guy.

Speaker 14 That's a good guy.

Speaker 3 But buying drugs for the first time is absolutely, it is a drug in itself.

Speaker 3 Like the rush that you get after the transaction's over, it could be the world's shittiest drugs, but you're like super excited. You're like, oh my God, I did this.

Speaker 14 I did this.

Speaker 39 Okay, that's a good one.

Speaker 3 All right, so I got two here.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with...

Speaker 83 That's something millennials have kind of killed because now there's like apps and shit.

Speaker 12 And Mud Eagle.

Speaker 14 Yeah, it's Mud Eagle.

Speaker 3 But you still have your first time. And I'm sure your first time, no matter what app you're using, is still very exciting.

Speaker 32 Finding the best parking spot.

Speaker 73 So the first parking spot, the best parking spot, boom, it opens up.

Speaker 19 Boom.

Speaker 37 That's like the best thrill when you're just driving around

Speaker 4 right there, right next to the store, the stadium, wherever it may be.

Speaker 83 I feel like a big dad move, you'll see if this happens to you. I feel like a big dad move is just parking as far away as possible.

Speaker 76 Be like, it's good to walk.

Speaker 51 Well, the dad move is insisting that you will find a parking spot when you won't.

Speaker 53 Like, just circling and circling and circling for an hour and being like, no, one will open up.

Speaker 16 And be like, hey, we could just pay $10 for parking.

Speaker 9 But finding a parking spot when, like, there's, if you're going to a game and you have to pay everywhere else, it's like $60.

Speaker 7 And then you find one right in front.

Speaker 24 Oof, what a thrill.

Speaker 48 That's a good one.

Speaker 3 And the first cousin to that is coming back to a parking spot that you thought might have been too good and maybe your car got towed, turning around that corner and seeing your car still there.

Speaker 68 That's a good one.

Speaker 53 Yeah, when you park and you read all the signs and you still don't quite know.

Speaker 56 You're like, oh, this is too good to be true.

Speaker 44 Okay, how about my next one?

Speaker 37 I'm going to go with missing a step in the dark. When you miss a step on the staircase in the dark and you're like, oh my God, I'm going to fall forever.

Speaker 89 Woof. And you land it.

Speaker 14 And you land it.

Speaker 26 You're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 90 That was awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, what about, you know, what's always awkward is the phantom step after you get to the bottom of the step. Yeah, that's the same one.

Speaker 3 one yeah yeah and like you take an extra one and you're like oh okay it's like skydiving yeah for a brief second you're just like no it's yeah skydiving for the least athletic person on the planet but yeah it's it's excellent okay um my next one it's it's the uh

Speaker 3 the second that the static starts to fade out on the title screen for your favorite HBO show when it's an all-new episode the second in between that and when the show starts itself when you hear like that moment of silence before the theme song of your new favorite show Do you remember that tweet?

Speaker 19 What was the, what was the, what's the song that first comes to mind when you see this thing?

Speaker 3 It goes like,

Speaker 3 woke up this morning.

Speaker 2 Okay, yeah, I want it to be that. Boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 66 But for me, it's

Speaker 66 not that.

Speaker 13 No, mine's.

Speaker 83 That's what mine is.

Speaker 30 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, that's the one. Wait,

Speaker 87 you're the wire.

Speaker 3 Mine's actually big little eyes. Yeah, surprise.

Speaker 65 When you walk through the garden.

Speaker 3 By the way, Meryl Streep's back, and she's a bad bitch, and she's fucking shit up.

Speaker 93 I thought she was always in it.

Speaker 3 The Monterey 5 are just spoiling their head over here. They have no idea what's going on.

Speaker 83 I thought she was always in it.

Speaker 3 No, Meryl Streep, she's in

Speaker 3 Season 2 Edition.

Speaker 23 She's back.

Speaker 83 She's queen. She's a new ad? I thought she was in the cast for her.

Speaker 3 Season 2. No, she's slaying season two.
She's like in Parks and Wreck when they brought in Rob Lowe and they just kept him around.

Speaker 68 He was nice. Yeah.

Speaker 63 Okay, Hank, you have two to finish.

Speaker 83 I have two.

Speaker 3 Wait, no, I've I've only done three.

Speaker 50 Yes. Yeah, that's how a snake draft works.
Okay.

Speaker 50 Can I go? Okay.

Speaker 26 How do we fuck it up every day?

Speaker 80 Drug guy.

Speaker 93 Not a drug guy.

Speaker 87 I will say

Speaker 83 drinking too much, like completely blacking out, waking up on your friend's couch or floor or something. Yeah.
And waking up and checking your pants to see if your wallet and phone isn't there.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 83 Like that wake up of like,

Speaker 83 hey, you're still drunk probably.

Speaker 83 You wake up, you're like, holy fuck, I don't remember getting home like i don't even know where i am for a second where's my phone and wallet that that is a thrill in itself of like oh my god do i have my shit add-on if you extra thrill if you charged your phone somehow if you've managed to if drunk you figured out how to put in your phone into the phone charger it's like the greatest thrill

Speaker 3 and then like walking into a room of your friends being like so what happened and then realizing that you didn't do anything to embarrass yourself that's a nice thrill too yes uh and then my last one i will just go jumping headfirst off a cliff

Speaker 24 oh very related.

Speaker 65 Into water. Very related.

Speaker 76 Okay, and surviving?

Speaker 26 Yeah, into the ocean.

Speaker 29 Oh, of course.

Speaker 3 Hanks was just jumping off a cliff. No, it's.
We forgot to add in the part about the water. That three seconds.

Speaker 36 Until the end.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 53 Right before you go splat. Okay.

Speaker 83 I'm sure that would be a throw, too.

Speaker 65 But yeah, jumping off the cliff.

Speaker 83 You've got the adrenaline rush.

Speaker 83 You got the butterflies in your stomach. Yes.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay. All right.
My last one is

Speaker 3 when you realize that it's not a handoff, but you recognize that it's a flea flicker.

Speaker 33 When the running back. It's going deep.

Speaker 3 Yeah, when the running back tosses back, everybody who's watching the TV stands up and they're like, oh, shit. Yes.
They're going to throw the ball.

Speaker 12 Yes, the going deep thrill.

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 64 My last one is going to be winning a bet that was a sure, sure, sure loser.

Speaker 12 Like, dead in the water.

Speaker 4 You have an over and it comes back out of nowhere where you just rode it off.

Speaker 46 That is an all-time thrill.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my last one, my extra honorable mention was pick six backdoor cover.

Speaker 17 Yeah, pick six is a great thrill.

Speaker 51 I threw in for honorable mentions, first kiss.

Speaker 73 That's That's a thrill. That's a little like teenage thrill.

Speaker 36 The perfect beer, the Shawshank beer, when you have like that perfect moment and delicious.

Speaker 23 Maybe after a round of golf.

Speaker 48 Yeah. Mowing the lawn.

Speaker 23 Mowing the lawn.

Speaker 37 Finding the onion ring in your French fries.

Speaker 12 That one onion ring.

Speaker 3 That's pretty good. That's pretty.
Sometimes you get disappointed, though, because some places have sub-par onion rings.

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Very, very good fries.

Speaker 83 Trying to sneak into work late. Yeah.
Like not making an excuse, but just like, I'm just going to go for it. That's a good one.

Speaker 37 Getting into any kind of verbal argument that gets your blood going,

Speaker 37 whether it be for a parking spot or at TSA.

Speaker 52 Just barely getting your flight.

Speaker 12 Just barely getting your flight.

Speaker 65 Just barely making your flight.

Speaker 3 I've done that a number of times recently.

Speaker 11 Winning a big horse bet.

Speaker 62 There's nothing like winning a horse bet because it's just, it's always so fast and you never win.

Speaker 46 And so when you do, it's incredible.

Speaker 14 Really?

Speaker 2 It's like such a party atmosphere.

Speaker 3 The only big horse bet that I've ever won in my life was the very first one that I made when me and you were at the Joe's on Weed in Chicago.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we hit the first one and that was very thrilling but I didn't realize it kind of did me a disservice because I didn't know what a thrill it should be

Speaker 83 like West Virginia tracks shooting uh the actually hitting one of those clay frisbees with a gun yeah

Speaker 83 first first time I ever did it I hit on the first shot and I was like I'm the greatest shooter alive.

Speaker 26 I felt like Mark Wahlberg.

Speaker 39 Crushing a golf shot.

Speaker 20 When you just that one shot, you hit perfectly.

Speaker 3 Finding a lost dog. If you've ever lost a dog, the second you see that pup.

Speaker 78 Chad Wolfer.

Speaker 26 No.

Speaker 94 How about this for a little

Speaker 37 real cheap, very easy thrill when you have that rock that you perfectly kick down the road, down the sidewalk, and you're like, it's going with you the whole time and it just stays straight on so you don't have to deviate.

Speaker 4 Just a nice little cheap thing.

Speaker 3 That's pretty running out of gas.

Speaker 14 Running is a thrill. Not running out of gas.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm like, teetering that edge between the eighth of a tank and working right there if you can make it.

Speaker 3 If you pull into wherever your next home base is and you're like, oh, shit, yeah, now I have to make it to the gas station that one's a good thrill um yeah i wrote down the having having uh a bet where you have to eat someone's ass and then the hormonal derby guy pulls out right before yeah 24 hours that's quite a thrill great thrill personal experience great thrill the last nacho you know the nacho that you've been saving the entire time you've been eating it because it's got a little bit of cheese a little bit of sour cream you guys are just a lot of things

Speaker 3 that are awesome hank trust me the last nacho getting to it is a thrill yeah these are thrills hank thrill well you said you should have said like satisfaction

Speaker 32 When you just barely make the train, that's a big time thrill.

Speaker 83 Walking, no, it's a thrill because it's like when you're walking down the train and the train is pulling up, you know that if, like, because it's and the swipes don't always hit, like, you got to swipe a few times.

Speaker 83 Yep. And you know that you got to swipe it first time and fucking get on that train.

Speaker 26 That's a, that's a thrill. That is a thrill.

Speaker 83 The last nacho is more of like a satisfaction.

Speaker 30 No, it's a thrill.

Speaker 26 Hell, that's a thrill.

Speaker 3 All of us can't leave extreme triple X surge

Speaker 7 like you.

Speaker 3 You're basically living in a Mountain Dew commercial over there. Do the do we have to embrace what we can? Yeah,

Speaker 55 nailing an Ollie.

Speaker 3 Nailing Ollie's. The last one I had.
Dunking is a pretty big thrill.

Speaker 55 For sure.

Speaker 83 Sending a late-night text and seeing the dots pop up.

Speaker 92 Oh, oh, what?

Speaker 55 You do that?

Speaker 30 No, I mean, it's a thrill.

Speaker 3 Wow. Chick, put that in your rush board so we can tweet that out.

Speaker 72 Oh, Hank told us before.

Speaker 35 He's like, this is obviously not me, but this is a thrill that would be relatable.

Speaker 83 I mean, just because I have a girlfriend now doesn't mean that I didn't notice a girlfriend.

Speaker 14 And that, when you don't have the iPhone there, is a thrilling

Speaker 83 moment.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 32 Catching the eyes at the bar, that's a thrill.

Speaker 26 When that girl, like, boom, the eye contact.

Speaker 65 You can't relate to that.

Speaker 3 Okay. Eyes at a bar.

Speaker 26 No, not for you.

Speaker 23 That's a thrill. That is a thrill.

Speaker 11 All right.

Speaker 32 Any tweet us?

Speaker 3 We probably missed a bunch of them.

Speaker 3 No, I think that's about it.

Speaker 40 Yeah, that's probably about it.

Speaker 83 Sitting down on your couch.

Speaker 49 Sitting down on your couch is pretty duper.

Speaker 92 I mean, it it is.

Speaker 3 It is.

Speaker 3 Listen, if there's about to be a game that you've been looking forward to watching like an entire week and you see that ass groove on your couch and you park yourself, that's great.

Speaker 16 Here's one.

Speaker 52 How about going into the

Speaker 63 tweeting?

Speaker 14 Sounds like a tweet.

Speaker 57 Going into the bathroom at an airport right after it was cleaned.

Speaker 14 That's a thrill.

Speaker 26 Yes, it is.

Speaker 14 Yes, it is.

Speaker 29 I'm going to take a shit.

Speaker 1 And you get that chlorine smell, and you're like, this place is awesome.

Speaker 83 That is like a nice surprise.

Speaker 14 Three hours more of nice surprise. It's a thrill.

Speaker 3 Weird thing about Europe, they have female custodians and janitors that work and clean up the men's bathrooms as guys are in it, and men that clean up the women's bathrooms, too.

Speaker 3 It's all just like one song for them.

Speaker 3 So I was in there. I finished my business because actually a thrill is you get off a long flight.
That first fart is a thrill.

Speaker 29 That's a thrill.

Speaker 3 So I get out of the bathroom stall. And there was no more toilet paper after I was done with it.
And I step out just as a guy steps in and he doesn't speak English.

Speaker 3 And I tried to tell him that there was no toilet paper, but he didn't listen to me because he didn't speak English. And they just went in and closed the door.
And I wondered, like, how far.

Speaker 68 Thrill.

Speaker 3 How far do I need to

Speaker 3 take it? Do I need to kick his door in like I'm Chuck Norris

Speaker 3 in Walter Walker, Texas Ranger?

Speaker 83 Liam had one more, and that's passing a class you don't think you're going to. Yeah.

Speaker 53 Or dropping out of school right before, right?

Speaker 37 And then getting a job on the number one sports podcast.

Speaker 76 That's a thrill, Liam.

Speaker 20 Yeah. Watching a Steven Seagal movie.

Speaker 14 Thrill. That's a thrill.

Speaker 3 That's a thrill. Getting hit by a car.

Speaker 24 Thrill. Thrill, Liam.

Speaker 29 That is a thrill. Yeah.
Did you?

Speaker 38 That was not thrilling?

Speaker 57 I mean, it must

Speaker 86 surviving.

Speaker 22 Big time.

Speaker 16 Big time.

Speaker 11 Hitting that bump.

Speaker 41 Well, let's just say when you're driving.

Speaker 3 Surviving a foot injury is a big time thrill.

Speaker 51 Missing a speed bump, not slowing down, missing a speed bump, and not ruining your car.

Speaker 26 That's a thrill.

Speaker 14 That is a thrill, right, Ink?

Speaker 80 Yeah. That's a big time thrill.

Speaker 11 Any other nerf wars?

Speaker 74 Thrill. Any other thrills you got? Thrill ride.

Speaker 14 Cooking the perfect burger.

Speaker 24 Thrill.

Speaker 4 Going up to get a snack at work.

Speaker 83 Like, I'm going to go and get a snack.

Speaker 24 That's a thrill. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that is.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Hank, if you're longboarding up to it, it probably is.

Speaker 57 Yeah, you not dying on your longboard every single day.

Speaker 65 That actually is.

Speaker 14 And I'm rooting for it.

Speaker 83 That's a thrill. Yeah, you guys are fucked up.

Speaker 53 Okay, let's do some segments real quick to finish off the show.

Speaker 83 It's always like, it's not like a, it's like whenever I like in longboarding and I like stumble, it's never like a, oh, like, watch out. It's like, oh, like excited, like, oh, I cheat you.

Speaker 14 No, I cheat.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 88 I'm like, oh, yeah, here we go.

Speaker 94 This is the time.

Speaker 83 It's finally happening.

Speaker 16 I whip out my phone.

Speaker 82 Okay.

Speaker 2 Let's go with, what do we have?

Speaker 3 Connect the dots. Connect the dots.
Bleacher report.

Speaker 56 All right. So is Jake, does Jake have a mic?

Speaker 76 He can.

Speaker 18 Can you go over there, Jake? So we need to connect the dots.

Speaker 49 Bleacher Report.

Speaker 83 Grab, grab that one.

Speaker 79 Tweeted a picture right after the U.S.

Speaker 37 women's team won the World Cup.

Speaker 78 And it was,

Speaker 8 I still don't really know what's going on.

Speaker 39 They tweeted one team.

Speaker 3 It was like a Banksy painted a Where's Waldo book?

Speaker 59 It's one team. It's all of the U.S.
women's team.

Speaker 40 Not even all of them, just the starters.

Speaker 3 Well, no, I think there were 15.

Speaker 8 One, two, three, four, bad radio, Micro Francesa.

Speaker 46 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen.

Speaker 11 Is there 15 on the roster?

Speaker 3 No, they're much more than 20.

Speaker 14 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 48 And then just a swath of celebrities, various levels of celebrity.

Speaker 18 Will Farrell, Oprah, Iron Man, Tom Cruise, The Cast of Friends, The Kid from Stranger Things, Cast of Modern Family,

Speaker 21 Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Zach Efron, our good friend, Jay-Z.

Speaker 3 Kobe.

Speaker 15 I don't even... Kobe.

Speaker 15 Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 3 When I think women's empowerment, I think Kobe Bryant.

Speaker 15 Kobe Bryant.

Speaker 53 And yeah, so it all makes no sense whatsoever.

Speaker 43 I still, I would love to talk to the person who created this.

Speaker 37 And at what point were they like, wait, what am I doing?

Speaker 3 Well, so they were walking a very fine line between irony and being serious to the point where you couldn't tell if they were being ironic with some of these choices because they're all just, we were talking earlier, like,

Speaker 3 who was left off this list? Who would be funny to see on this list? And I think Hank or Bubba said,

Speaker 3 said Dwayne, Dwayne Chapman.

Speaker 76 Yeah. Dwayne Johnson?

Speaker 41 Wait, you're talking about dog?

Speaker 24 Yeah, dog. Dog.
The bounty hunter.

Speaker 26 Beth. All right, Payne.

Speaker 3 I think at that point.

Speaker 83 Tom Brady did get snubbed for being

Speaker 42 honest.

Speaker 3 I think if we see Dog the Bounty Hunter on there, we know that they're being ironic, right?

Speaker 14 Right.

Speaker 3 But the fact that it just walked this very narrow line, so I have no idea what they were thinking.

Speaker 34 I don't think they were being ironic.

Speaker 52 I think everything on here.

Speaker 38 Who's the guy next to in between Oprah and the Friends cast?

Speaker 86 Who is that? Oh, that's Pulicich.

Speaker 14 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 27 That's okay.

Speaker 94 This is just like, oh, where's Waldo?

Speaker 2 What the fuck is going on?

Speaker 36 Is John Hamm in there?

Speaker 42 John Hammond

Speaker 14 from Modern Family.

Speaker 52 Every single picture.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 82 Okay.

Speaker 3 So, Jake, did you find any connections between these people at all?

Speaker 4 So I asked the AWLs, and basically, no.

Speaker 6 We couldn't find anything.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 3 So you outsourced this.

Speaker 49 So we had some working theories.

Speaker 2 I thought it was initially every single celebrity that has tweeted the hashtag U.S.

Speaker 14 Women's National

Speaker 14 Man is on there. Yeah.

Speaker 26 Well, he's on there.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 14 he does not have Twitter.

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 84 Who has Scott?

Speaker 83 Who is the pink glasses?

Speaker 3 I don't know that one. Graham Elliott.

Speaker 45 Chef Graham Elliott. Sorry.

Speaker 3 Of course.

Speaker 18 Okay, so what did you find out?

Speaker 56 Anything?

Speaker 4 Nothing worth reporting.

Speaker 3 One thing I'm noticing here, they're no Asians.

Speaker 3 Bleacher Reporters, I guess,

Speaker 3 anti-Asian American. Okay.

Speaker 3 What else is common amongst them?

Speaker 33 None of them

Speaker 83 from like 2012?

Speaker 3 There are no cartoons. No cartoons.
That's got to mean something.

Speaker 3 Zach Gertz's hat is really stupid.

Speaker 16 Yeah. Michael Scott's in there.

Speaker 3 Weird that Michael Scott and Travis Scott.

Speaker 38 The whole office cast didn't make it, but the whole Friends cast did.

Speaker 35 That seems a little bizarre.

Speaker 11 I also thought maybe they polled each player and was like, name your top four celebrities.

Speaker 81 So the other idea that PFT had, which is a great idea, we're going to do Joe Lennardi first in for first or last out

Speaker 10 for the bracketology.

Speaker 45 So, who were the first four that you think were the centerpiece of this collage?

Speaker 68 Oh, I was going to say that.

Speaker 40 Oh, first, last in, last four.

Speaker 70 Last four in, last four out.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
So the last four in that I had.

Speaker 3 I had, I actually had Jay-Z in my last four in because I think they put Beyonce in there, and then at the end, they were like, oh, we need to add Jay-Z next to Beyonce. Okay.

Speaker 3 I don't think that they were a package deal to begin with. Okay.

Speaker 3 Kobe. I think Kobe was probably one of the last four in.

Speaker 2 I think,

Speaker 74 let's see, is that

Speaker 7 Angelina Jolie in the top right?

Speaker 3 But it's like

Speaker 75 she was the last four in. I had her too.
Yeah, she was the one.

Speaker 65 So they had Brad Pitt.

Speaker 83 They didn't want to be like, oh, shit. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think they did some of these couples mixing matches.

Speaker 82 Last four in.

Speaker 4 All right, so anyone else for last four in?

Speaker 71 I think that's kind of.

Speaker 1 Who's the guy in between Jay-Z and the other guy?

Speaker 26 Yeah, that's called soccer player.

Speaker 30 That even has to be a whole soccer player.

Speaker 42 Okay, last.

Speaker 2 All right, so the four that we think should have made the cut that didn't make the cut.

Speaker 13 Brady.

Speaker 14 Brady, probably.

Speaker 45 Yeah, Brady is probably there. Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 14 Hulk Hogan, definitely.

Speaker 87 Or The Rock.

Speaker 3 The Rock absolutely was on mine. The Rock, absolutely.
Kevin Hart. Leo.

Speaker 33 Everything else. Leo.

Speaker 83 Guy Fieri.

Speaker 3 Oh, Guy Fieri should have been on there. Massive on there.
Massive oversight.

Speaker 45 Absolutely should have been on there.

Speaker 38 This is the dumbest thing I've ever looked at.

Speaker 3 There are no rock stars on here, though.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Kid Rock should have been on there.

Speaker 3 Kid Rock, absolutely.

Speaker 45 100% should have been on there.

Speaker 37 This is really the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 94 Bleacher Report on.

Speaker 3 The dragon from Imagine Dragons.

Speaker 19 Or the dragon from

Speaker 3 there, if you imagine him.

Speaker 90 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 27 There you go.

Speaker 79 All right, so yeah, good job, Bleacher Report.

Speaker 35 You got us to talk about you.

Speaker 49 This is all-time weirdest tweet.

Speaker 3 There's a reason that they're back-to-back Takey Award winners who did this fam Cry Face, CryFace social media account.

Speaker 48 I love it.

Speaker 45 I love it. This is America.

Speaker 20 It's just a bunch of celebrities that have no connection.

Speaker 70 Someone's going to crack the case here and be like, they all have this in common.

Speaker 14 And then we'll be like, oh, okay, well, that makes sense, but they deleted it.

Speaker 12 So they don't even want to stand

Speaker 21 in their work.

Speaker 3 Captain Marvel's on here, too. I think she was probably one of the last four in.

Speaker 83 Yeah, probably. Yeah, but she's in the center.

Speaker 19 Jennifer Aniston from a long time ago is in there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, also the Brad Pitt thing, though. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 37 And the Friends caster. She's a double.

Speaker 7 Yeah. She's double.

Speaker 83 Who is between Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Scott?

Speaker 29 This is the worst radio ever.

Speaker 42 That's

Speaker 3 the Stranger Things kid. AOC? Yeah.

Speaker 98 That's not AOC.

Speaker 3 Alex O'Connell has much shorter hair.

Speaker 58 That's Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She probably should have been in in there.

Speaker 3 Notorious RBG.

Speaker 14 She should have been in there. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3 Nancy Pelosi doing the little clap thing that solved all the world's problems. Yeah.

Speaker 39 All right, let's move on.

Speaker 19 I don't know what to make of this.

Speaker 48 If you haven't seen it, everyone's seen it.

Speaker 56 It's ridiculous.

Speaker 19 All right, last two segments.

Speaker 4 Way to stay relevant, baseball.

Speaker 53 The Reds wore jerseys without sleeves on them.

Speaker 68 Yeah.

Speaker 3 There you go. Good job, baseball.
It was pretty exciting to talk about you.

Speaker 3 Actually, it was one of those things that we're, I'm pretty confident that Yassio Puig just suggested it because he looked by far the best out of everybody with no sleeves. Yes.

Speaker 3 And then everyone was like, Yeah, yeah, sure. I guess we'll do that for you.
Yassiel.

Speaker 79 It looked like a professional softball team.

Speaker 3 I love it. Yeah.
They should have gone shorts.

Speaker 2 The old White Sox uniforms.

Speaker 3 There was one dude that had tattoos, which kind of looked cool going sleeveless, but Yassiel was like your friend with a Jeep who's like, hey, let's go off-roading all of us with all our cars.

Speaker 3 He looked like, hey, man, I drive a Corolla.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he looked awesome.

Speaker 58 He looked like a softball team.

Speaker 37 I wish they had gone all the way and done the shorts, like the White Sox old uniforms.

Speaker 23 I mean, it's the remember.

Speaker 14 Oh, remember

Speaker 19 when the Mariners did this, too?

Speaker 79 They did the sleeveless future uniforms in like the 90s.

Speaker 19 They did what uniforms are going to look like in like 2019, like 20 years ahead.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 3 they're not going to change at all, but like all silver with that triangle in the middle.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 41 They look like aliens.

Speaker 16 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 77 They're like, man, the future's going to be crazy.

Speaker 3 Well, actually, not really.

Speaker 3 We just have stranger problems that we discuss.

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 4 Last up, we have Monday reading, a little...

Speaker 32 different Monday reading this week. That'd be wild.

Speaker 3 Like you're talking to somebody 10 years ago and you're like, what's the future going to be like? And they're talking about

Speaker 3 having conversations with aliens, building all the scientifically crazy rocket ships. And you're like, well, we have measles again.
Yeah.

Speaker 44 And everyone's got a podcast.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 41 That's really all this is.

Speaker 3 We kind of went back in time and now you have more opinions to deal with. Yeah.
Oh, and also, STDs are resistant to all the forms of penicillin that we have.

Speaker 24 True guy.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 32 So Monday reading, we're going to do something a little different.

Speaker 19 Jared Lorenzen passed away last week, and he was a friend of the show, friend of a personal friend of mine, Hank, as well.

Speaker 37 We spent a lot of time with him in Indianapolis for the 2015 Final Four, also other times in Kentucky.

Speaker 4 So I want to do a quick Monday reading of some Jared Lorenzen stuff because he was an exceptional guy, and I think he touched a lot of people.

Speaker 73 So I'm going to throw a couple stats out there for you.

Speaker 45 Ready for this?

Speaker 83 Who was he for people that didn't know, like, if they didn't know who he was beforehand?

Speaker 3 Legend. He was a legend, the Hefty Lefty.

Speaker 32 Yeah, the Hefty Lefty.

Speaker 3 So he was a Kentucky.

Speaker 75 I think he still holds a bunch of records for a Kentucky quarterback.

Speaker 32 Kentucky quarterback.

Speaker 35 If you watched him play, you will forever remember him because he was 260 pounds plus playing quarterback and trucking guys and throwing lasers everywhere.

Speaker 2 He had a cannon.

Speaker 3 I remember watching him in college, and I had no idea where this guy was coming from. I was just seeing the stat lines that would do, they would go across the bottom crawl and the ESPN ticker thing.

Speaker 3 And the first time I tuned in to see this guy was throwing for like 450, 500 yards a game, I was like, this is fucking incredible. Insane.

Speaker 37 Insane. And

Speaker 17 he went to the pros, played in the pros for a couple years, won a Super Bowl with the Giants.

Speaker 37 Actually, people credit him for being a big part of the helmet catch because he did a drill in practice with Eli all season long where he basically tried to take the ball from Eli and got him ready for that kind of action.

Speaker 20 And then he went on to, you know, he did radio stuff.

Speaker 35 He had actually a great t-shirt company called Throwboy Tees, where if you buy a t-shirt, all of the money still goes to Jared and his family.

Speaker 19 So

Speaker 37 you should go buy right now if you want to buy a t-shirt from Jared's company, Throwboy Tees.

Speaker 82 But I wanted to do a quick Monday reading, yeah, of a couple stats that Jared has and a story.

Speaker 35 So in his senior year,

Speaker 38 Jared Lorenzen threw 45 touchdowns and ran for 15 more.

Speaker 2 15-0

Speaker 11 won the state title

Speaker 16 for Kentucky, and they scored 801 points in 15 games.

Speaker 82 That's insane.

Speaker 89 He went on to, I think he still holds the record for passing yards at Kentucky.

Speaker 37 I think he's like up there all-time SEC quarterback as well.

Speaker 34 And again, this guy, Jared was like, he did not, he looked like an offensive lineman.

Speaker 38 He was recruited to play offensive and defensive line at different places.

Speaker 20 He wanted to play quarterback.

Speaker 79 And so there was this other story that I was reading when

Speaker 4 they had this whole ESPN story a few years back.

Speaker 37 And it said, so I'm going to read from it real quick.

Speaker 37 He threw for 10,354 yards a Kentucky career record and seventh on the SEC's career list.

Speaker 4 In practice, he dropped to one knee at midfield and throw at the goalpost until he hit the crossbar.

Speaker 32 Mummy, his coach, Hal Mummy, his freshman year, remembers holding a camp in Lexington for some of the top college quarterbacks in the country.

Speaker 60 He put a radar gun on them and most threw 52 to 54 miles per hour, decent NFL speed.

Speaker 51 Lorenzen stopped stopped by between classes in an Oxford button-down and penny loafers, and he warmed up a little and let one fly.

Speaker 37 It was clocked at 64 miles an hour.

Speaker 32 This guy, Jared was like the classic case of he should not have been playing the position he played, but he made it so much fun to watch and so effortless.

Speaker 4 Even Hank, when we did that video in Indianapolis, we did like throwing a football into a net.

Speaker 53 He just whipped it, whipped it out of nowhere, and it was just incredible to watch.

Speaker 94 And I think he's like, I know it's a cliche to say, but he's one of those guys that he was a great football player and even better person because everyone you talked to was like Jared Lorenzen, one of the nicest guys you've ever met.

Speaker 19 So

Speaker 26 I don't know.

Speaker 37 I guess we just end there.

Speaker 10 It sucks.

Speaker 3 It sucks, sucks, sucks.

Speaker 19 But I thought it would be worthwhile to at least mention that because I know a lot of people watched him interact with us and watched him on barstool videos.

Speaker 37 And we're going to miss him.

Speaker 20 And again, go buy a t-shirt, throwboy teas.

Speaker 45 He's got a couple kids.

Speaker 37 So hopefully some of that money can go to their education going forward.

Speaker 83 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 I'll hear you.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 out

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 God's

Speaker 3 It's pardon my take, presented by Bar Stool Sports.