Best Of Football In July Plus New Interviews W/ JB Smoove, Tim Howard, Prince + Cecil Fielder, 2 New Rushmore’s

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have the best of the last six months or so. We got the best of football guests, a little football in July for you.
We have some Blake of the Year preview stuff.

Speaker 1 We have three new interviews with JB Smoove, Tim Howard, and Prince and Cecil Fielder, and two new brand new Mount Rushmores. So this is in place of a regular Wednesday show.

Speaker 1 If you have to work on Friday, make sure that you save some, but we're going to get to all of that in a minute.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 and then I love the soft work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a lot of washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all of them.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Eli Trick Avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Eli Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now and put in promo code Barstool.
You get $5 to ASPCA and $5 to yourself.

Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, July 3rd, and we have a best of for you. This is taking a break.
It's a best of, but we've got some new stuff in there too.

Speaker 1 It's a little way of saying, happy birthday, United States. Our present is some old shit that we recorded that we repackaged, and now we're giving it to you today.
And some new stuff. So it's.

Speaker 1 There's a good amount of new stuff.

Speaker 6 There is actually a ton of the most new stuff in a best of

Speaker 1 three new interviews and two Mount Rushmores. Two Mount Rushmores.
The game is the same. If you have to work on July 5th, first of all, quit your job.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Now everybody already quit their job for the life advice. Yeah, now that you've quit your job, you're good.
But if you do have to work on July 5th, here's how you should handle this best of.

Speaker 1 We're not going to have a new episode on Friday. This is your last episode of the week, but it's like three hours.
So stop in the middle of it. We'll tell you exactly where you can stop.

Speaker 1 You can save some for you for yourself on Friday. You are like a little kitten, a little cat that we're going away for the weekend.
And we've left out all the food, all the water that you can have.

Speaker 1 Don't eat it all at first. Save some.
You'll regret it when you're hungover and you're at the job that you should have quit, that you didn't quit because you didn't have the balls to quit on Friday.

Speaker 1 Argate your life. Alternative, as like an alternate suggestion, what you could do is if you listen to it all today and then go back on Friday and listen to it on half-speed mode.

Speaker 1 It'll just sound like we're drunk. Yeah.
Listen to it. It's kind of a fun way to double dip on it.
Also, be nice to us.

Speaker 1 And if you listen to half of it today, swipe and delete it and then re-download it. Yes.
Well, do that anyways. Yeah, do that anyway for every episode you've ever done.
Just listen to it in chunks.

Speaker 1 We've got a shitload of content. Yeah, so open up.
Yeah, so let's start. Let's start off with some soccer, talking soccer.
We have a great interview with Tim Howard.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, PFT, if this is coming out Wednesday, the U.S. is in the finals already? The U.S.
has made the finals. So they're playing Netherlands slash Sweden.
3-0 against England?

Speaker 1 That was a first half.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it was 5-0. Yeah, and Rose scored two goals, so now I have to eat a bunch of Skyline chili because I made that bet hoping I wouldn't win it.
Fuck. Damn it.
Well, that's not on the board. No.

Speaker 1 So we're good.

Speaker 1 Damn, I was really hoping I wouldn't have to eat all that chili. But yeah, we're in the finals of the World Cup.

Speaker 1 This is going to be very, very bad if we don't actually make the finals, but we definitely did.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, Tim Howard, one of the all-time great U.S. soccer players.
I would say greatest. The greatest male U.S.
soccer player. Wow.
Him. Landon Donovan.
Kobe Jones. Alexey Lollis.
Dempse. Psych.

Speaker 1 Dempse.

Speaker 1 Freddie Adu. That's it.
That's the list. So here he is, Tim Howard.

Speaker 1 And Odell Beckham. He was also a good soccer player, too.
He should be on the list.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on USA Legend. It is Tim Howard, hero for all soccer fans around the world.
We have the Women's World Cup going on right now. We have the MLS season heating up.

Speaker 1 Let's start with that. How's the MLS team going? Wow, thanks for the introduction.
Yeah, Colorado Rapids.

Speaker 7 Yes, it wasn't going great, and

Speaker 7 we've hit our stride. We've unbeaten in five games.
So, you know, winning fixes a lot of things. Unbeaten in five games means there was a couple ties in there.
One tie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. So.
And you guys celebrate that. Damn right.
It's a result. Yeah.
Yeah. Is that weird ever to be celebrating a tie?

Speaker 7 Not when it's bookended between wins. No.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Okay. Just remain consistent.
If you don't lose back-to-back games,

Speaker 1 then you're doing okay. Yeah, for sure, yeah.
Would you consider yourself the best goalkeeper in modern football history? Are we calling it football or are we calling it soccer by the way?

Speaker 1 We call it soccer.

Speaker 7 In modern football history, no, definitely not.

Speaker 1 Who's on your Mount Rushmore of goalkeepers?

Speaker 1 Gigi Buffon, Tony Miola, Iker Casillas.

Speaker 7 Tony was a good one for the U.S.

Speaker 1 Oliver Kahn. Dominic Hasyk.
Possibly, possibly Oliver Kahn, yeah. You're not a big fan of Kahn.

Speaker 7 I like him. Yeah, I like this fire.
He's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 1 So I would actually say that that game that Oliver Kahn had against us in the quarterfinals and your game against Belgium in the round of 16, probably the two best goalkeeping performances

Speaker 1 in soccer history. Yeah.
So that game, you had 16 saves against Belgium. After that game, you go, you know, you leave the pitch, you go on social media.
Were you just blown away with...

Speaker 1 Because in real time, everyone was like, Tim Howard's the savior, the

Speaker 1 Secretary of Defense, all these things were happening.

Speaker 1 Was it just like, holy shit, this is really catching up?

Speaker 7 And social media exploded.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was crazy. Because, like, I always wonder with soccer, you know, the growth from 20 years ago today has been insane, but you guys are still, you know, the fifth biggest sport in America.

Speaker 1 Is there ever a

Speaker 1 complex that happens with soccer players, you know, trying to break through the media?

Speaker 7 Some maybe. Yeah, not for me.

Speaker 7 I played in the Premier League for 13 years. That fishbowl doesn't get any

Speaker 7 bigger. So for me, it was no problem.

Speaker 7 But yeah, I mean, mean, look, the part of the World Cup was, as you said, getting that crossover audience, not being the biggest sport in America, but getting hockey and baseball and football fans and basketball fans to be like, yo, I want to cut out from work and go drink some beers and watch the U.S.

Speaker 7 play.

Speaker 1 Right, yeah. Right.
Day drinking in public squares. If you can get Americans to do that, then you will be an instant celebrity.
I can't wait. Yeah, yeah.
No, it's a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 So you mentioned going over to the premiership. So you got started here in MLS.
You were on the New York, New Jersey Metro Stars.

Speaker 1 I remember you had one save on a free kick from about 25, 26 yards out. Upper 90, you stopped it.
I think that save right there, that got the attention of the coaches in England.

Speaker 1 So the talent scouts are like, we're bringing this guy over, see if he can play in the real league overseas. You get over there.
What was that change like, that transition?

Speaker 7 Yeah, it was tough. You know, I was going from a young kid in MLS to argue one of the best teams in World Manchester United.

Speaker 7 It was a big transition for me, and it proved to be so. I had a lot of success early on, and then some growing pains, and kind of had to figure that stuff out as I went along.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Everton and Liverpool, like a famous rivalry. Yeah.
What is it like being in the middle of that rivalry? Because I think from the U.S.

Speaker 1 side, we all think of like, you know, Duke UNC or Yankees Red Sox or Packers Bears. Is it a totally different level? Because it's the same city.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's family's divided. It's the same city.

Speaker 7 You know, you go down to the pubs. I didn't go down to the pubs in Liverpool.

Speaker 7 I wouldn't dare, but I had friends who were Evertonians, and yeah, you know, you got to be careful where you walk and that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and those games must have been like the pressure in them.

Speaker 7 Amazing. Yeah, USA, Mexico, and Everton, Liverpool for me were the craziest games I've ever been a part of.

Speaker 1 USA, Mexico, in Mexico.

Speaker 10 Those always seem insane.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and look, we've been

Speaker 7 we're outnumbered if we play in America. Yeah, the Mexican fans are crazy, man.
They're out there in waves, and it's getting better. Yeah, yeah, but obviously in Mexico, we never won.

Speaker 7 So I was part of a team in 2012 to be the first team to ever win in Mexico, which was Dulce Cerro. Yeah, that was impressive.

Speaker 1 Very nice. Is 2-0 actually the most dangerous lead in soccer?

Speaker 7 That's what they say. I'd rather have a 2-0 lead than a 1-0 lead.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 But then if they score one goal, then it's 2-1 and it's a one-goal lead, and they've got the momentum. They do.

Speaker 7 Agreed, but I'd still rather have the extra cushion than you're a math guy.

Speaker 1 I'm not so much a math guy.

Speaker 1 So you go over to England, you have some success over there, as you mentioned.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, I think you were on man new for a little bit. Yeah, three years.
For three years, and you kind of became a celebrity over there.

Speaker 1 At that point, when you were still coming back to the U.S.,

Speaker 1 were you recognized when you'd be stateside?

Speaker 7 No, that was the nice part about coming back to the States is I just kind of blend in. You know, I didn't have the shaggy beard either, so that was more helpful.

Speaker 7 But yeah, no, it was much easier just to come back and lay low for the summer, just chill out and then head back over.

Speaker 1 And I've read that you don't actually enjoy playing soccer. Is that still true? Or do you now enjoy it a little bit? Yeah, look, I don't enjoy it.

Speaker 7 It's too intense. I go to some dark places to get ready for a game.
I always have. And I've played nearly 700 games now.
So

Speaker 7 it's work.

Speaker 7 It's intense.

Speaker 7 You have to prepare for the fight.

Speaker 1 You have to prepare for the crowd.

Speaker 7 You have to make sure that you play great. You also have to be prepared if you suck that day.

Speaker 7 There's a lot going on. So to say that.
Goal USA.

Speaker 1 Goal USA. Goal USA.
There we go.

Speaker 1 Who scored that one?

Speaker 7 It looks like Megan.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 So, you know, that's the over for the first half.

Speaker 1 We're just updating our bank account. Yeah, yeah, so.
So, I actually want to get into that because the psychological

Speaker 1 preparation for goalies, and I think this is goalies, you know, if you talk about hockey goalies, they're kind of the same way where it's they're out on an island and they're kind of the weirdos of the team.

Speaker 1 Is that how it feels to be part of a team, but you're not really because you're playing something so different than everyone else? Well, that's kind of that's kind of where

Speaker 1 I feel it's

Speaker 7 the margins are a lot finer for a goalkeeper and so you have to be willing to take the criticism on. You have to harden yourself

Speaker 7 and broaden your shoulders to take that criticism on. And so along with that comes a little bit of like

Speaker 7 internalization and

Speaker 7 that puts people off sometimes and they call you weirdo and crazy but like ultimately you have to go to that place in order to be successful as a goalkeeper.

Speaker 1 Right, because I think that happens same, you know, hockey and soccer similar where it's you look at the goalie and they usually don't talk a lot.

Speaker 1 And people will be like, that guy's an asshole, but he's just in a mental spot who's very different than everyone else on the team.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 when you start a game, can you tell almost right away, like, all right, this is either going to be a long day or short? Like, this is our defense just doesn't have it or no.

Speaker 7 Like, Ironic, I'll take you back to, I'll take you back to the Belgium game, right? Like, when you look at that game, you think, gosh, it got peppered for 120 minutes or whatever it was.

Speaker 7 You're always thinking you can solve a problem. So you're thinking, okay, someone just took a shower.
they just took two shots. All right, I'll organize the defense in this way and limit it.

Speaker 7 And hopefully they only ever get two shots the rest of the day. But you never know.
You have to prepare for what's next. You understand what I'm saying? Interesting.

Speaker 1 So how much is that the coach and how much is that the goalie? Like getting the defense in the specific spot and almost calling plays.

Speaker 7 Right. So before the game, it's the coach.
And if he gets it right, then that just kind of goes. If something, if the stuff hits the fan, there's no timeouts in soccer, right?

Speaker 7 So it's on the older players, the more experienced players, oftentimes a goalkeeper to organize a back line just to get you to halftime, make a quick adjustment, and then get back out there.

Speaker 7 But for me, I think that's the biggest part of my job.

Speaker 1 There are timeouts in soccer. You can just go down and pretend that you're dead.
And then you're like, oh, no, I actually am fine. It was just a little tweaked ankle.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 I don't mind if we use that to the advantage. Although I do like other sports where you get to police yourself.
Yeah, soccer is a little too stringent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when they bring out the sponge, the wet Brazilian sponge filled with water and it cures an ACL in like 30 seconds. Cold spray.
Yeah, that's my favorite part of the game.

Speaker 1 So yeah, no, you bring up a good point because it's like the best case scenario for you as a goalie during a game is you do your job.

Speaker 1 The worst case scenario is you get scored on, and everyone points at you and says it's your fault because you didn't do your job.

Speaker 1 Like, if you look at a striker, yeah, you might miss three shots, three very makeable shots for every goal that you get, but they only remember the one that you have.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, it does take a different type of person, I think, to play. And I can understand why you don't necessarily enjoy that those moments.

Speaker 1 But it's more like relief when it's over if you did your job correctly. And

Speaker 7 I enjoy competing almost statistically.

Speaker 7 I enjoy getting to that place. Wherever that place I go, I like it.
But I wouldn't say it's like enjoyment.

Speaker 1 So now the U.S. is kind of at a crossroads.
We've always had the best goalies, by the way.

Speaker 6 I want to touch on that real quick.

Speaker 1 We've had

Speaker 1 Casey Keller, Tony Miola,

Speaker 1 Brad Friedel was a great goalkeeper. We've had incredible luck developing world-class goalkeepers.

Speaker 1 What is lagging behind with the rest of our skill set that we're only able to produce good goalies?

Speaker 7 Well, I think we've produced a bunch of really good players down the years, outfield players. It's just the goalies have gotten a lot of the attention because we've consistently done that.

Speaker 7 We had Claudia Reina early on and then and then Lena Donovan and Clint Dempsey and Freddie do.

Speaker 1 Freddie Adu.

Speaker 7 Poor Freddy, man.

Speaker 1 Freddy awesome.

Speaker 7 I don't know where Freddie is.

Speaker 1 No, he's still around. Oh, no, he's still playing.

Speaker 7 Yeah, for sure. He's playing in the USL somewhere.

Speaker 7 You know, and now

Speaker 7 we've got a ton of really good young players who are playing on the world stage. Chris Mpulisik is a guy who comes to mind,

Speaker 7 but McKinney is another one.

Speaker 7 We've got some really good young talent, so we need to foster that and push them to the forefront.

Speaker 1 Explain that, though, because we're kind of dumb, and I think a lot of our listeners are dumb, but in a good way, that we just sit here and like, why aren't we better at soccer?

Speaker 1 Like, why, you know, the whole hypothetical that gets thrown out every single time we have a World Cup year, where it's like, well, if LeBron played soccer, we'd win the World Cup.

Speaker 1 But I know that that's not the truth because all these countries have programs where kids are playing when they're like four.

Speaker 1 What is the biggest difference between the U.S. versus the other countries, and how do we catch up?

Speaker 7 Well, the problem with U.S.,

Speaker 7 with soccer and America in general, is

Speaker 7 we've been talking about the whole time.

Speaker 7 You start walking, start running. Some uncle, aunt, granddad gives you a ball.
There's a basketball, a baseball, a hockey stick. There's a bunch of things that you get, right?

Speaker 1 In other countries where I've played around the world, there's one sport,

Speaker 7 Like in England, you've got cricket for the higher class, you've got rugby for the wrong ends, just people who want to bash each other's head, and then for the other 90% of people, it's soccer.

Speaker 7 And so,

Speaker 7 you know, soccer is bred from poor countries, man. And in poor countries, you have one chance to make it.

Speaker 7 And if you don't make it in soccer, you don't make it.

Speaker 1 And the answer is crash the United States economy, and then we'll win a World Cup.

Speaker 7 It's too easy. Now, listen, soccer in America is too easy, right? Like,

Speaker 7 you know, we bring, to my daughter's under 12 game, we bring orange slices and hot chocolate and make sure everything's good and nice and neat.

Speaker 7 It's not how soccer is played around the rest of the world. It's like put your, you know, take your neck tie off from school or put your shoe down and play in the street.
And like, that's how it is.

Speaker 7 And like, you know, it's basketball. It's basketball America.
It's hockey in Canada.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.
Like.

Speaker 7 Don't play in a rink.

Speaker 1 Just go out on the lake and you play, right? Yeah. You bring a good point because it's like in America, we have Tuesdays and Thursdays of soccer practice that mom drives you to.

Speaker 1 Then you have a game on Saturday. In other countries, it's just natural you're done with school.
You're like, hey, let's go play some soccer. That's it.

Speaker 7 And then your mom and dad are chasing it down to call you in for dinner. You've been playing for five hours, right? Like, that's how it works.
And that's what about World Cup?

Speaker 1 Wayne Rooney?

Speaker 7 That's that's how he started. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, Cristiano Ronaldo, that's how he started.

Speaker 1 And you can tell the difference. Like, the one thing that I think has been great with the EPL getting a lot more coverage in like NBC sports and and people are watching it more.

Speaker 1 I feel like people are watching soccer a lot more than ten years ago. You can see the difference in uh the skill level and how big it is, how big of a jump it is from US to the rest of the world.

Speaker 1 And I don't, have you like, how long did it take for you to get over the not making the World Cup in 2016?

Speaker 7 I don't know if anybody gets over that. You know what I mean?

Speaker 7 I think that's probably etched in our history, for better or for worse. And

Speaker 7 what I would say is as much as it sucks, there was particularly that year, there was three dominant nations, three other dominant nations, Holland, Italy, and Chile, who didn't make the World Cup.

Speaker 7 So anyone who wants to think that U.S. soccer is God's gift to soccer and we should do this, think again.

Speaker 1 Think again.

Speaker 7 And you have to earn it, and we, and on that particular cycle, we didn't.

Speaker 1 It's the hexagonal, right? Yeah, I always hear how brutal it is. Why is the hexagonal so brutal?

Speaker 7 I don't know, man.

Speaker 7 I wish if I could bottle it and sell it,

Speaker 7 it'd make some money. I don't know.
We win a lot of our home games, and then we go down to certain places, and it's really, really tough to play.

Speaker 7 And it's been the case for the, you know, since the 80s.

Speaker 1 Was Jürgen Klinsman

Speaker 1 a mistake by U.S. soccer?

Speaker 7 Well, it's hard to say he's a mistake. I mean, we had a really good finish at the World Cup in 2014, right? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Under his tutelage. So, no, you know, it was just different cycles, Culford, and we cruised it the cycle before.
I think we finished top of the group, right?

Speaker 7 And then the next cycle, we don't make the World Cup. So, no, it's not down to one person.
Like, I think the team in general, ultimately, the team gets the results, right? And

Speaker 7 over the course of 10 games, we didn't get the results. It's simple as that.

Speaker 1 I actually had the spin zone that it was good for soccer in America for us not to make it because, like, the casual fan who hates soccer, and I put myself in that group probably 10 years ago,

Speaker 1 I would make fun of the U.S. for not winning the world, not being better in the World Cup.

Speaker 1 You know, when we lost, I think, when we were bounced in the first, the Eliminate, we didn't win a game, right? Like, everyone made fun of the U.S. and was like, we suck, this is terrible.

Speaker 1 Whereas in 2018, you got to watch world-class soccer and not have to worry about, like, will the U.S. embarrass ourselves? Whatever it may be.

Speaker 1 And people were able to enjoy it with kind of stress-free and see it grow organically. It might might have been just a desperate spin cell.
It was a spin-so.

Speaker 7 No, look, I think it was good in the sense that,

Speaker 7 you know, we as soccer as a whole, we got comfortable because we've been on top for so long. And that's not unlike many other businesses and corporations.
And sometimes you need to check yourself.

Speaker 7 And that only happened. You don't check yourself when you're winning.
You don't check yourself when you're hitting the jackpot. It's only when you fail that you got to go, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 You got to change something. Well, you get shocked into actually making a change, making a different show for it.

Speaker 1 So that being said, what would you do if you were to be like, okay, here are three things that we have to do to change the direction of American soccer, make us compete on a world-class level?

Speaker 1 It'd just be one thing. I just said three.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 7 on a world-class level, it's difficult.

Speaker 7 We have to produce better players in abundance. Right now, as we just talked about, that's not the case in America, right? Like, these other teams are just churning out world-class players.

Speaker 7 And so that's in our structure, it's very difficult to do.

Speaker 1 More soccer academies. Possibly.
I like to just say that. It's the structural foundation of U.S.

Speaker 7 soccer. Possibly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Are you more in favor of having our young guys play over here in the United States or go overseas and get that experience? Great question.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 7 Yeah, look, one thing that I truly believe is everyone has a decision to make for their own career. And I've seen guys go to Europe and flourish.
I've seen guys stay here and flourish.

Speaker 7 Now, that could be because maybe guys aren't strong enough to go live on his own at a young age, whatever it is.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 7 But the MLS has shown that they can create and develop talent and sustain that talent, right?

Speaker 7 And some players are going abroad, but some players are also thinking the best chance for me to make the national team to further my career to earn big money is right here in MLS.

Speaker 1 So, like,

Speaker 7 each individual, there's not a there's not a blanket statement that you can say everyone should do this, everyone should do that.

Speaker 1 You scored a goal for Everton, 100 yards. What's a pitch? 110?

Speaker 7 110. It just depends.

Speaker 1 110. You scored the length of the pitch.
Yes. Have you thought about kicking in the NFL?

Speaker 1 Chicago Bears need to kick it.

Speaker 7 XFL, maybe. No.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. Could you? Do you think you could kick it? Have you tried kicking skill goals?

Speaker 7 I think kicking a soccer ball is incredibly easy compared to kicking a football.

Speaker 1 It's a lot different. That was very humble of you.

Speaker 5 No, no, no.

Speaker 5 People don't talk about it.

Speaker 1 Like, when they had Miola, we keep talking about Tony Miola because, again, we're dumb and we remember 90s. Before 90s, yeah.

Speaker 1 And he tried out for the Jets, and they were like, this guy kind of sucks at kicking because he can only make like a 40-yard. It's a different skill set kicking a football from a soccer ball.

Speaker 1 Terribly different. Yeah, I'd still like you to try.
Yeah, just try. Just get your, you know, we like talking about that stupid stuff.

Speaker 1 By the way, forgive us because we've done a terrible job interviewing you. We should have asked this question to start: Messi or Ronaldo?

Speaker 7 Ronaldo.

Speaker 1 Get the fuck out of here. No, no.
A lot of people have a Messi podcast. Yeah, we are.

Speaker 7 That's fine.

Speaker 1 Listen. So, who would you rather you? You're more scared.
We put a free kick right outside the box. You're more scared of Ronaldo than Messi? I'm scared of them both.
But who are you more scared of?

Speaker 1 I think Ronaldo. That's crazy, man.
You don't know soccer. I know.

Speaker 1 True. I just like Messi because he's so small and he looks like the ball is attached to his foot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Ronaldo, he's like, dude, okay, cool. You got a six-pack.
Like, anyone could fucking work out and get a six-pack. He does a thing with his shorts, too, where he pulls them up way too long.

Speaker 1 No, it's too much. Messi could never.
My fave would never.

Speaker 7 Messi's got the NBA.

Speaker 1 He's

Speaker 7 like 2,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. He's got the baggy shorts.
Ronaldo's like, he's the dude who pops his top top off the first second that you go like on a boat. And you're like, all right, dude, come on.

Speaker 1 Like, we get it. Give us all a chance.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 he's got a nice body.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but it's bullshit. I'm sure Messi has a six-pack, too.
Maybe.

Speaker 1 He's got sick tattoos. Who's the goat of all time? Maradona? His left or his right nostril?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's true, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Can we score another one?

Speaker 1 Let's do our. I know you got to run.
Let's do our last question with Jilly Football. You met her.
It's It's a SeatGeek question. Promo code take.

Speaker 1 Put in promo code take. You get $10 off.
Go see an MLS game. Go see Tim Howard play for the Rapids.

Speaker 1 Promo code take SeatGeek. All right, Jilly, go ahead.
Okay. What do you got for me?

Speaker 12 I have this for you. Okay.

Speaker 12 What happened with Benny McCarthy's free kick in the 90th minute during the Champion League second round game against FC Porto in 2004?

Speaker 7 What do you mean? I put it back in the middle of the goal, they scored a goal, and they won.

Speaker 1 What do you mean what what happened?

Speaker 12 I don't know, giving up that juicy of a rebound.

Speaker 1 I know, pretty bad. I know, true, that's what I'm saying.
Pretty bad.

Speaker 1 I should have put somewhere, but you know what it did?

Speaker 7 It kick-started my career, and here I am. So, okay,

Speaker 1 yeah, okay. Julie, go with some more questions you have written down.
Okay,

Speaker 12 who is the greatest American soccer player?

Speaker 12 Mia

Speaker 12 or Abby?

Speaker 1 Oh boy, boy, it's tough.

Speaker 1 Abby.

Speaker 1 Disagree.

Speaker 1 Okay. I disagree.
I disagree too. All right, we all disagree.

Speaker 12 Now,

Speaker 12 this is a big one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 12 How do you get the grass stains out of your uniform?

Speaker 7 I don't. Someone else is watching me for me.

Speaker 12 Being a mom, I had to get them out. I apologize.

Speaker 1 Bell's Napsa. Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 1 I got one last question for you, and then we'll let you go.

Speaker 1 Your best solo performance of all time, would you say against Belgium, Algeria, or at the end of killing in the name of?

Speaker 7 Whoa, that's a good, that's a great song, yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, great song, yeah,

Speaker 1 um, Belgium, Belgium, okay, Belgium, you look like Tom Barillo, okay, so I'm saying are you gonna play in the next World Cup? How many more years are you gonna play for?

Speaker 7 I'm retiring after this year.

Speaker 1 Are you absolutely not? Have you said that? Yeah, damn, can we just pretend you haven't? Nah, can't wait. How about breaking news? No, no, retire.
Unretire real quick. And then re-retire.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 I don't come out of retirement.

Speaker 1 Okay. No, are you going to?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I'm going to retire. Okay, breaking news.
Tim Howard to

Speaker 1 volume up. Oh, damn.

Speaker 7 Score right here. It's on, though.
Score right here.

Speaker 1 There we go. Boom.
Golasso? Yo!

Speaker 1 Get it right here. Go.
What are you doing? This is ridiculous. This is like watching.
We're playing inside the six. Let's see.
I'm playing inside the six. Someone score.
Parking the bus. Please.

Speaker 1 Strike it. Please.
Have it. Oh, that's a down.
Penalty. Penalty.
Ma'am. Ma'am.
Score.

Speaker 1 V-A-R.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. That was literally like a

Speaker 1 loose ball. Okay, Tim Howard.
Damn it, God. Thank you so much, guys.
Legend. Awesome.
Thank you for

Speaker 1 the shit. How many goals would we score off you? Ten shots.
Penalty kicks.

Speaker 1 Penalties are easy. I don't know.
Five, maybe? Three.

Speaker 1 More like nine out of ten. Yeah, no chance.
At least seven. No chance.
Eight.

Speaker 1 Nah, you want to score eight. There you go.
Seven. Possibly.
If you saw

Speaker 1 us signing up to take a penalty kick, would you just say, I'm going to react to what they're doing, or would you actually guess? I'd react.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd react for one or two yeah and just see what we had in our juice you got yeah i got no juice no juice all right tim howard thank you so much appreciate it future bears kicker

Speaker 1 hey what's going on there pal we saw you at the hockey game on do i know you guys i'm ryan whitney i got a drink named after you not a big deal pink whitney that's what i thought see you fellas i invented the thing you pigeon pink whitney for legendary moments okay that was tim howard um next up that was great interview with tim howard we also we should have said beforehand but we were watching the famous 13-0,

Speaker 1 wow, USA has no respect for anyone else game against Thailand. Thailand.
Yeah, Thailand. Kick the shit out of them.

Speaker 1 It was like Fwagra. I was like making a goose with Fwagra, except it was just a bunch of soccer balls being jammed out of me.
It was awesome.

Speaker 1 You had the under in that game, which sucked because we were watching live.

Speaker 14 Was it 3-0 and a half?

Speaker 1 So I had the under.

Speaker 1 I had the under, but I had the first half over. That's right.
And I also had some prop bets, so I ended up winning money on that game. But yeah, terrible, terrible.

Speaker 1 Hey, imagine being the the guy at the water cooler that had the under on 13-0 shit bumping. Damn.
So yeah, that was Tim Howard. We now have JB Smooth.

Speaker 1 You probably know him, Leon Black from Curb Your Enthusiasm. I have a question, big cat.
What if I wanted to watch these interviews, not just listen to them? That I'm so happy. Hey, PFT.

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Speaker 5 Tim Howard in office.

Speaker 1 No words. JB Smooth in office.
J.B. Smooth, you get why his name is J.B.
Smooth. When he walked in, he had the whole look.
White jacket, white hat, like jewelry.

Speaker 1 He was a ransom song. Awesome.
Yeah, he had a shirt on that just said J.B. Smooth.
Awesome look. Awesome guy.

Speaker 1 Very interesting story.

Speaker 1 I actually didn't realize before

Speaker 1 I started doing research that he was an SNL writer and that his whole, like, how he became part of Curb was just complete, almost accidental luck where it all worked out in the stars aligned.

Speaker 1 It's crazy to me that he was a writer and not a cast member. That type of personality, it's like, no, we want this guy behind the scenes.
What the fuck were you thinking? Right. So we get into that.

Speaker 1 We get into working with Larry David.

Speaker 6 Ass pregnant.

Speaker 1 Ass pregnant, one of the all-time skits. He actually started just rattling off all the skits that didn't make it to SNL.
And they sounded, we could make a show out of that.

Speaker 1 So hopefully, we'll have JB Smooth back on at some point. But here he is, JB Smooth.

Speaker 13 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on the man, the myth, the legend. It is JB Smooth.
Yes, yes. He is in the new Spider-Man.
Are you Spider-Man? Oh, hell no, man. I wish I was Spider-Man, though.

Speaker 1 But, you know, when they call me about the role, the first thing you want to ask, if anybody calls you from Marvel, the first thing you ask them is, what are my powers? Right.

Speaker 1 You know, because you assume they're going to give you something. Right.

Speaker 1 No matter how minimal the power is, you hope they're going to give you a superpower. But no, I just fair teacher.
Yeah, you're Mr. Dell in it.
I'm Mr. Dell and it's a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Was there any moment where you're like maybe i'm spider-man maybe they're switching it up on us you know what it's very maybe not spider-man but maybe i i thought maybe something would bite me maybe a termite or a roach and maybe that would happen to be radioactive radioactive but you can't help but think because everything is so secretive right you don't know what the hell gonna happen to you you're sitting there like damn on set but damn maybe there's still a possibility because when you read this because you When you see the pages, stuff is marked out and blacked out because they don't want to spoil it.

Speaker 1 They don't want you to be a spoiler. So they keep stuff secretive.
So

Speaker 1 I'm still anticipating possibly something biting me.

Speaker 1 A roach would be great. A roach would be freaking fabulous, man.
I'm immune to atomic energy. Oh, man.
If I could have a atomic roach, I'll tell you something, man. Oh.

Speaker 1 That would be freaking amazing. I've heard that sometimes what they do is they put misinformation in certain scripts just in case you leak something out so they can catch you.
Just in case, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just wanted some powers. That's all I wanted.
But, you know, who's to say I'm not going to be in the next one? Yeah. True.
You know, speaking in character,

Speaker 1 you have to do that. I evolve into something.
That's true.

Speaker 1 In a movie like this, do they give you any leeway in terms of like improv stuff? Because you could just come out for a scene and be like, oh, damn it, I got bit by this roach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you throw that out there, you try it, and they say, cut, cut, cut, cut. No roach bits you right now.
So let's do your scene the way it's written. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Because all they're going to do is correct you. But of course, they have to give you a little rope.
You know, our amazing director, John, John Watts, he gave us some rope and let us have fun.

Speaker 1 Me and my guy, Martin Starr from Silicon Valley,

Speaker 1 we both play teachers, chaperones on this amazing European trip with these amazing teens in this movie. And Tom Holland and everybody else in there.
And we absolutely had a ball shooting.

Speaker 1 We shot in Prague. We shot in Venice.
We shot in London. Let me tell you something, man.
It's beautiful over there. Yeah.
You been to Prague? I've never been to Prague. Never been to Prague before?

Speaker 1 No. Prague is amazing, man.
Now I gotta go. You know what I like about Prague? It's walkable.

Speaker 1 It's a good thing. It says

Speaker 1 one of the amazing cities that wasn't involved or damaged in World War II. Right, World War II.
Oh, man. It's absolutely beautiful.
What's the weather like in Prague?

Speaker 1 Because that's a big factor for me when it comes to walkability. It depends what time of year you go.
Now, I was there. We shot that movie from July 4th.
I shot from July 4th.

Speaker 1 They shot earlier from June, but I shot from July 4th all the way to October. So it was absolutely beautiful.
Yeah, that's got to be nice.

Speaker 1 I was in t-shirt weather. Yeah.
It was beautiful over there. So I got to ask you, the thing that I find fascinating about your career, you're a stand-up comedian.
That's how you started.

Speaker 1 But you're not cynical and like down. And we've talked to stand-up comedians before.
They all have a way about them where I think they're a little maybe reserved,

Speaker 1 a little more cynical, down. Look at the dark side of life.
You have the opposite feel. You are like, you know, everything about you is kind of over the top.
And you bring people in in a joyous way.

Speaker 1 You have to. You have to do that, man.
But we all are different.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 a lot of comics do have that trait in them and they are able to reshape it and do it on stage. But

Speaker 1 it's more like therapy. It becomes like a therapy session for some comics.

Speaker 1 Me,

Speaker 1 I'm 30 years in and I've done so much,

Speaker 1 so many different projects and different types of things. You know, I think if I was just a stand-up comic, you know, who knows what my mindset would be

Speaker 1 if I was just a comic and I was satisfied with being just a comic traveling around the world, just doing stuff. But a lot of times when you're just a comic, you don't have any other life.

Speaker 1 You don't have anything else that touches you. You're not inspired by anything else.
You're kind of like locked in. You're kind of a loner sometimes.
Sometimes some comics are loners.

Speaker 1 Some of them don't have kids and wives. Some of them have girlfriends.
It depends how hard you want to live and how much you are committed to being a stand-up because you you get a chance.

Speaker 1 I mean, you travel around the country, you never home, and all you do is travel, travel, travel, doing different clubs, different cities.

Speaker 1 It can wear you down a little bit. Depends, you know, like, that's all I did when I first started, was getting in the car and drive two weeks doing shows.
It makes you a different kind of person.

Speaker 1 Your choices are different. You know, how long you hang out at night, who you hang around with.
Sometimes you get a little seedy.

Speaker 1 You got to deal with promoters trying to break their face with not paying you your money. You know, you got to deal with so many different things.

Speaker 1 You deal with so many things. And I think it's just a matter of how long you've been doing it, what you aspire to do after that.
You know,

Speaker 1 I've been lucky because

Speaker 1 I made some great choices. When I first started doing stand-up and

Speaker 1 stand-up TV shows, you know, I chose to, like some comics did stand-up shows six, seven times. I did it once, twice, because I wanted to make sure I varied

Speaker 1 my resume and

Speaker 1 also my creative thing. You know what I mean? So I did a lot of first.

Speaker 1 I did the first show on MTV,

Speaker 1 on the first policy I ever did called Apartment 2F with the Scar Brothers. I did short Attention Span Theater at the inception of Comedy Central.
I mean, you name it. I did a lot of firsts.

Speaker 1 So I got lucky in presenting a style that... was conclusive to

Speaker 1 whatever they were looking for.

Speaker 1 But I got, you know, just I just made sure I turned down what I turned down, I took what I took for a reason.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm not the biggest, I'm not the biggest actor and the biggest stand-up, but I'm consistent and I'm happy

Speaker 1 that I can do what I love to do. Right.
You know, also as opposed to always being

Speaker 1 at the at the, you know, always being happy to do certain things. Right, right.
You know, I'm sure we're going to get to some stuff with Kirby Enthusiasm.

Speaker 1 I'm sure you had some questions about that later, but I wanted to talk real quick about SNL because you had what were you there for like two years, three years, something like that? Three years.

Speaker 1 Three years. So, did Lauren Michaels ever learn your name enough to forget it? Oh, man.
You know, me and Lauren hit it off pretty well. Really? Because I've heard it, sometimes it goes the other way.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've heard plenty of stories.

Speaker 1 I didn't have that experience. I think because I actually,

Speaker 1 you know, I auditioned for cast

Speaker 1 along with a bunch of other people. So

Speaker 1 I made it to the test, which means I got a chance to go to NBC in the studio, SNL Studios, and do my final

Speaker 1 test with I was on with Finesse and Keenan and myself. We were the last three left.
And that was a lot of fun to do.

Speaker 1 So I got a chance to come in as a guy who auditioned for the show and then who didn't get the show. But then a week later, I got

Speaker 1 a phone call asking if I wanted to come in as a writer. So for me,

Speaker 1 I hit it off with everybody over there when I first got there. But

Speaker 1 I'm not invisible. I'm very, it's very,

Speaker 1 I've never been that kind of guy. I don't like pitch king.

Speaker 1 I'm a pitch king. I don't like being invisible.
So I'm loud. I come into the writer's room loud.
I'm talking. I'm talkable.

Speaker 1 I like to throw ideas out, which in turn led me to have five jobs while I was over there. I was a writer on the show.
I did a warm-up on the show for two years while I was there. I was in monologues.

Speaker 1 I was in sketches.

Speaker 1 I also did Colin O'Brien maybe 10, 11 times. And that's when he was still at NBC downstairs.
I was just a guy writing. I was just a writer on the show.
But

Speaker 1 some people come to the show and they turn them into stars. And some people come to the show having already have a resume.
I came to the show with a resume already.

Speaker 1 I had already been on a Fox sketch show with Cedric, the Entertainer Presents. I had already done Lyricist Lounge show, you know, on MTV.
So I had already done a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1 I was already in a few movies. So for me, it was different, me coming there.
I did it because it would look good on my resume to have

Speaker 1 a cool writing credit. And who wouldn't want to take a job at SNA? Yeah, absolutely.
So I read that you were the

Speaker 1 quote-unquote pitch king. Pitch king.

Speaker 1 And when everyone's sitting around and pitching their ideas to Lorne, it would get to your spot, and you would stand up and just throw as many ideas out there as possible.

Speaker 1 I would do an average of four.

Speaker 1 Everybody would throw two. I would do four pitches every week because I found I like to get a rise on the people.
But at the same time, I like to show that I was there doing my job.

Speaker 1 But at the same time,

Speaker 1 even though I came in, I auditioned, I ended up being a writer on the show, I still wanted them to consider me as a cast member. Who knew? Who knows what's going to happen down the pike?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? But it was one of those things where, you know, I did it, so it was good on my resume. And I really had a great time there.
And I met some amazing hosts.

Speaker 1 I got a chance. But, you know, I go back all the time and visit.
I'll sit in Lauren's offer and we kick it and we talk about things I'm working on. That's awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was your mentor type of guy? What was your favorite sketch that got on air? That got on? Yeah, the number one that you always had. The number one that got on air that got on air was

Speaker 1 Ass Pregnant.

Speaker 1 That made air.

Speaker 1 I got it. Now that made air, man.
It made air.

Speaker 1 I got a pretty good thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can imagine what it is. I can't pick it off the top of my head, but I think it's pretty straightforward.

Speaker 1 And Amy Poehler had this big. I mean, she went to her parents' house, they opened the door, and her body's normal, and she walks in the door, and her ass is huge.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man, it was just so funny. That's great.
So,

Speaker 1 that's good.

Speaker 1 Did you ever write anything while you were there?

Speaker 1 Knowing that you were writing it for yourself, that you could play a certain character way better, hoping that Lauren would be like, you know, Jimmy, why don't you just step in and take this one?

Speaker 1 I think it's one of those things where, you know, you couldn't.

Speaker 1 How we write, I think, is, is, especially coming in as a stand-up and not coming in as a writer. And I wasn't a writer when I got on the show.

Speaker 1 I really was

Speaker 1 probably better off as a cast member.

Speaker 1 And I've heard that from other producers who, like now, they would say, you know what? In hindsight, we think you probably would have been

Speaker 1 a better cast member. You came in with no writing experience, but you were amazing with your ideas.

Speaker 1 And to this day, like to this day, I could walk in that room and they were new writers who weren't even there when i was there will like bring up things they heard about me or bits they heard you know so many bits man so many things didn't make it and

Speaker 1 even today

Speaker 1 like if i was the hostess now i would probably pitch doing all the sketches that didn't make it Or at least a cool monologue of all my sketches that didn't make it. Ask Pregnant 2.

Speaker 1 Ask Pregnant 2, man. Ask some good ones, man.
There's some really really good ones, man. Ask Pregnant Number 2.

Speaker 1 Urine Detective. Call of Duty.
The urine detector was one of my favorite, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wrote that for Johnny Knoxville.

Speaker 1 He was a detective that solved cases by getting a urine sample from you. And he was tasty.
He would drink the urine. It's Roger Goodell.
And breaking it and pitching it.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 The first man to smack another man on the butt. That was Tom Brady.
He was a football player, throwback. from the 30s.
First player to smack a man on the butt after a good play.

Speaker 1 He got traded to every team in the NFL because no one understood what was going on here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is good.

Speaker 1 You need to write them all down. You probably have them all in your head.
Oh, the guy who worked at or the guy who worked at Subway,

Speaker 1 but he used to be a bank teller. And they fired him because he couldn't get being a bank teller out of his head.
So he'll make your sandwich. He'll go, you want salami on that?

Speaker 1 He'd lick it. He'd lick his finger.

Speaker 1 He couldn't get the bank teller out of his head, man.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 I was torn between a bank teller and

Speaker 1 a dealer in Vegas. Oh, that's good.
Yeah. So I was torn between those two.
But it worked either way. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 you don't get renewed. I don't know how you don't get renewed as a writer on SNL.
I mean, that had to have been a low moment. No, see, I've always been a guy that loved to drive his own car, man.

Speaker 1 And I think once you realize what your worth is and what you bring to the table and what you want to do, you can't be afraid to make chess moves and make moves.

Speaker 1 Like, I knew I wasn't going back for my season four because I just did certain things that I knew would not allow me to come back, even though they didn't re-sign me for season four.

Speaker 1 I knew once I fired my, got rid of my agent, who also handled a few other people on the show, I already knew if you don't have anybody to speak up for you,

Speaker 1 why would you be going back? or you know, in that same capacity. So I already knew I wasn't going back.

Speaker 1 I said, if I fire this, fire my agent, I don't think I'm going to be called back because there's no one there to push to be going back.

Speaker 1 But I was comfortable with that. You know, it's one of those things where, you know,

Speaker 1 if they had resigned me, it would have been great. But, you know, it led to curb.

Speaker 1 Something got to step out the way for something new to come in. Right.

Speaker 1 And you can't be afraid to venture out because there's something, you know,

Speaker 1 when you intentionally make moves, you're driving your own vehicle. So you can choose to take what you want to take, but you also choose to eliminate something

Speaker 1 that, you know, maybe it was time for me to, you know, that opening was the opening I needed.

Speaker 1 If I had, there's two things that happened. I went to L.A.
to audition for curb

Speaker 1 while I was there for a friend's memorial. I went to L.A.
for one day for that memorial. I had just signed a new agent, and I was with that agent maybe less than a week.
And I went to L.A.

Speaker 1 because my buddy had passed away. And I actually went to my L.A.
office, the L.A. office of my agent, to meet those guys.
I met them in New York. I went to the LA

Speaker 1 office to meet those guys, and I ended up getting an audition for Kirby Enthusiasm. That's amazing.
So, yeah, it's twofold here.

Speaker 1 If I got re-signed by SNL, I wouldn't have never been able to do Curb because I'd been on the contract. And two, if my buddy didn't pass away

Speaker 1 at that particular time, I wouldn't have been in LA anyway. So I would have never heard about that.
I would have never heard about it.

Speaker 1 And if I didn't fire my agent who had me on SNL, I wouldn't have never, there's three things that happened that had to be in the right order for me to have an opening and be free to go to LA.

Speaker 1 Butterfly effect. And next thing you know, I'm in the office.
I could have said I wasn't going to go just to meet my new agent. I could have just

Speaker 1 went to lunch with somebody with friends. I could have been doing something totally different.
I'm tired of it. Could have been jagged off in a hotel room or something.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I could have been doing something totally different. So those things had to happen in order for me to end up in front of Larry, who I never met before, at an audition.

Speaker 1 So at the audition, I've always wondered this because Leon is you. You are Leon.

Speaker 1 There's no, like, obviously you play a character when you do it, you get into character, but I can't imagine anybody else playing that character because it is, it's become iconic. Right.

Speaker 1 So when you're auditioning for it,

Speaker 1 what is the character description that they put in front of you as opposed to like how much you just bring in on your own? It wasn't any description of the character.

Speaker 1 It just said, you know, he's the brother of Loretta, which is the Hurricane family that came in. But I wasn't from New Orleans.
They were from New Orleans.

Speaker 1 I just lived in LA and found out my sister was living at Larry Davis' house. I just came over and made myself at home.

Speaker 1 So for me, it was one of those things where there was no description of the character. There was only sides, which means there's three scenarios that we can go in there and do.

Speaker 1 And I kind of already figured the character out before I walked in the room, you know. And I got this thing I do where...

Speaker 1 Sometimes I walk in the room as the character because I like to be in the zone already.

Speaker 1 To walk in the room and say, hey, how you doing i'm jb and then turn the character on you don't it's a weird turn to come in there like hey how you doing

Speaker 1 i came in the room as the character i came in there you know strutted up in there doing some leon mannerisms looking around the room at the at the other producers and they all started snickering a little bit but see that's when your other skills kick in

Speaker 1 Your stand-up skills kick in because stand-ups, we have to be able to read you. We have to be able to gauge what we're hearing.
What kind of laughter? What are you laughing at?

Speaker 1 Actually, my mannerisms, my delivery? Are you laughing at how I'm walking, how I'm talking?

Speaker 1 Are you laughing at how I walked in the room? What are you exactly laughing at? So now I can take that and listen to what they're laughing at and say, oh,

Speaker 1 they like the mannerisms. They love the delivery.
They love the aggressiveness. They love how I'm talking to Larry right now.
Like, I don't give a fuck. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I'm talking to Larry very bluntly.

Speaker 1 The first thing I said to Larry when I walked in the room was, I came in, because I came in as a character.

Speaker 1 He said, okay, JB, you're gonna improvise with Larry and I said I said okay let's do this Larry improvise right okay my man let's do this you know I mean I said I don't know I might slap you in the face I don't know you know I mean we're gonna improvise anything could happen and I walked away to start the scene and everybody's like what the

Speaker 1 yeah what's going on here

Speaker 1 security let this guy in yeah you know I mean right but that's what you want you want to get a rise out of them because you can always pull back if you're going to an audition high as possible you hit you hit that high note, they can always say, pull back a little bit.

Speaker 1 And you know exactly how to pull back. Right.
When you come your ass in low, they're going to say, I need more energy. Now you don't know how much energy.

Speaker 1 Either you're going to give them a little bit of energy more, or you're going to give them so much, they're going to say, get the fuck out of here. They're going to say, get your ass out of here, man.

Speaker 1 You're scaring people. And also, that makes you almost turn your energy down.
If somebody tells you, I need more energy,

Speaker 1 you're like, fuck. It defeats you.
Yeah. You're like, oh, oh, okay, okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
Right. I am going to kill you.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You look stupid. Right.
If you're coming already controlling the room, you're driving your own damn car. Get up in that ass.
Get up in that ass. You're driving your own damn car.

Speaker 1 You drive your own damn car. Now you're driving.
They're passengers. They're on their heels now.

Speaker 1 You put them on their heels. So they don't know what to do.
All they know is, oh, shit. This dude just changed the whole thing.
He just flipped it on.

Speaker 1 I flipped it on him. So, how much is

Speaker 1 turvity there? Yeah. I mean, it's fantastic.
It's hard to, I would be, I think most people would be intimidated to walk in a room with Larry David. I had no idea.

Speaker 1 I think it helped that I didn't know what.

Speaker 1 I anticipated going on tape and them reviewing the tape. That's how I prepared.
But walking into the room and Larry's standing in the middle of the room, it's like, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. We're going to improv directly.
Okay. Let's do it.
Let's do it. You know what I mean? And that made me turn up even more.
Because now I'm going to show out. I'm going to show off now.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show out a little bit. Because now I'm on stage, really.
I'm on stage performing, actually. I'm giving you something you didn't know you was going to get.

Speaker 1 And I'm sitting in the waiting room and waiting to go in. It's like all kind of actors.
I know most of these comedians in the room. And I know their styles.
I know his style. I know her style.

Speaker 1 I know all these styles in the room already. I said, okay.

Speaker 1 I sit back. I say, okay.
I know what I'm going to do. I know his style already.
I know his style. Okay, I'm going to go in and give him something different.

Speaker 1 I know exactly what he's going to do and exactly what he's going to do. You attacked Lee.
Because I know their rhythm from working with them. I know their style and I know their rhythm.

Speaker 1 And I said, okay, I know exactly what he's looking for.

Speaker 1 So how much of Curb after that point, you know, when you're taping seasons, is it still improv and still kind of just throwing stuff out there? No, it's always,

Speaker 1 I always,

Speaker 1 when I go to the set, you know, you got Relevie, we have an eight to ten page outline for the show. Now, I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 1 The first three seasons I did curb, I never even looked at the goddamn outline.

Speaker 1 I ain't lying. I never looked at the shit.
You know, I found, I said, oh, there's outlines and shit? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I knew it was an outline, because that's how they work. But

Speaker 1 all I need to know when I come to set is,

Speaker 1 what's my motivation? You only do one scene at a time.

Speaker 1 You're not doing the whole fucking movie at one time or the whole TV show at one time. You're doing one scene at a time.
I might be in there for two hours I got one scene today

Speaker 1 you know I'm not gonna come in there over prepared I come in there I don't read I didn't even read this shit I ain't lying

Speaker 1 I didn't read the script until maybe the last season I read my first first outline because I just found it easier to

Speaker 1 find my motivation in the moment right because once I get dressed in my in my Leon wardrobe, put the do-rag on, my little Leon cup with the Leon written on it so Larry don't put his mouth on it.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? On my fucking straw. I walk.

Speaker 1 All my goodies, my little robe with no belt. Yep.
And I hold the shit closed like this in my hand. Once I do that,

Speaker 1 I'm in Leon mode now. Yes.
I'm carrying myself differently. I go to set.
I ask Jeff Schaefer, the writer and one of the producers, what's my motivation? What the fuck did Larry do this time? Now,

Speaker 1 now I'm in my mindset. Once he tells me what the scene is about, I can sit there and say, okay, I got three options in my brain of how I can do this scene.

Speaker 1 But we don't, we don't, because it's outlines, there is no dialogue in the outline. Right.
You create your own dialogue. So you you're driving, you're driving that scene, whatever you want to do.
And

Speaker 1 I got to make a decision in the moment, I got to say, okay.

Speaker 1 Because even rehearsal, we don't say word. All we say is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Seriously?

Speaker 1 Larry, if you even, if you even sit there and say a word, Larry says, save it, save it, save it, save it. So, like, blocking out the scene, you just go walking around going.

Speaker 1 It's a strong reaction to whatever we say. We got to start doing that before the show.
So, that's what gets us in the moat. It's a natural reaction

Speaker 1 for the first time. Can I interview

Speaker 1 using that right now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Look, get in that ass. Blah, blah, blah.
Blah. Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Do we have tape of this? It would be great to release all the curb seasons just to blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I bet you have a lot of DVD extras right there. Yeah, it won't be like, I go buy a DVD player just to be a genius.
It is actually.

Speaker 1 And then I have to make a decision as

Speaker 1 an actor if I want to have his back or if I want to go against him.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking like what I'm going to get the most mileage out of having Larry's back on this and riding with him or going against him and saying, Larry, you fucked up. This is terrible.

Speaker 1 What you're doing, you know, which way is best? And a lot of times

Speaker 1 it just depends what the magnitude of it is. But something about, something about having his back is funny and something about going against him is funny.

Speaker 1 You know, when I say he's wrong and I'm riding him and tell him why he's wrong and how we should handle this, it's fun as shit.

Speaker 1 But riding with him sometimes is fun when I agree with everything he's doing you know in my own way yeah you know what i mean yes so so and and that's what i think you get the gold from

Speaker 1 is he's a genius man he's he's basically underhand pitching you and all you gotta do is swing the bat to hit the shit i've heard that you uh you get high the first time that you say something something that's never been said before that's like it's a good feeling for you right it's the most amazing feeling especially when you get somebody of larry's magnitude you see him smirking a little bit you see his you see his like, eh.

Speaker 1 That means he's

Speaker 1 just trying to hold it. He's trying to hold it in.
Like,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, bro.

Speaker 1 And he's trying to fight you, and you're just giving it to him. And I don't break.

Speaker 1 I don't break.

Speaker 1 Once in a while I'll break it. It depends where my brain is going.
But sometimes I'm anticipating moving on with the scene and how far I can go with it that I can't laugh because, you know,

Speaker 1 if you watch the show, Leon doesn't, he doesn't laugh at all.

Speaker 1 He barely smiles on the show. He might, he's smiling, what's up, man? But he doesn't laugh.
You haven't seen him laugh on the show. When I'm delivering lines to Larry, it's straight up.

Speaker 1 I'm giving that shit straight to him, raw. You know what I mean? I'm just giving that to him.
You know what I mean? I'm telling him what the fuck you should do.

Speaker 1 So when you're doing like a second take of a scene, do you ever repeat a line that you might have just improvved before, or do you try to come up with something new every single take?

Speaker 1 Once Larry figures it out and he stops laughing, that's when I change that shit up.

Speaker 1 You know, once I get that on tape really good, I'll change it up and give it something different.

Speaker 1 Once I did a 10-minute rant and just kept rolling the cameras, I was just rolling, I just was making up shit, just going for a whole story.

Speaker 1 The scene was already over, basically, but I just kept going with it just to see how far I can go. And I could hear

Speaker 1 the producers in their chairs way over there

Speaker 1 in the monitor area, just like laughing. And I just kept going as far as I could go.
And I just stretched it out.

Speaker 1 somewhere Larry has it right but it was just something stupid and I just made light of him it was that scene where Larry was uh he told me uh when I thanked him because my sister Loretta

Speaker 1 had cancer and and I said man you you really you're really a honorable man staying with my sister knowing that you can't have sex with her no more you know i'm really i'm really proud i'm really i really respect you a lot and i just kept going on and on how proud I was.

Speaker 1 And the scene was supposed to be him realizing that he can't have sex with her no more. And the camera

Speaker 1 zooms in on him like,

Speaker 1 he was trying to figure out how to get out of this shit. I'm going to get rid of her.

Speaker 1 I can't be with her. I can't be with her.
I can't have sex with her for the rest of my life. And I'm giving him props.
I respect him for staying with my sister like this.

Speaker 1 And you know, you can't have sex with her no more. And I went through the whole gambit.
Like, you can't get on top of her. All you can do is rub her titties once in a while.
But you can't do nothing.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean. You can't have real sex with her all the time, you know.
I'm proud of you, man. You should make a statue of your ass and put that shit in the city square.

Speaker 1 The man with the dry ass dick. You know what I mean? And that's kept going on and on and on.

Speaker 1 I mean, every scenario you can think of. But that being said, that is, you know,

Speaker 1 there's a balance to doing improv, which is you, you, you can, you, you,

Speaker 1 you, you lead, you listen, you pick up where someone left off. All the little rules and stuff we follow.
We have fun. But it's really,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 the dream job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. You got to go.
So this has been awesome, though. Yeah.
Appreciate it. Though you guys are great, man.
Yeah. JB Smooth.
Go watch Spider-Man.

Speaker 1 It's out in theaters now because we're going to run this after it comes out in theaters. And like PFT said, an iconic character, Leon Bauer.
I appreciate you guys. The best.

Speaker 1 So anytime you're in town, please come through. I will.
We'd love to have you on. Do you guys have the Book of Leon already? No, we need to get ready.
You got to get the fucking Book of Leon, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I can learn some lessons from it.
You want to give it to us for free or what? I could send you guys a copy of the address. I'll send you a copy.
Yeah, send us a list. Is there an audio book?

Speaker 1 Okay. There's also an audio book.
Yeah, I'll pay that. The audio book is great.
I'm not a good guy. No, no, no.
I know. I know what you're saying.
I'm telling you, the audio book is great.

Speaker 1 I elaborate even more in the audio version. But to have the book.

Speaker 1 The book. To feel it.
To see Leon on the cover. It's more about other people seeing who he is.

Speaker 1 What's your

Speaker 1 money for the book? No, no. I don't worry about the audio book.

Speaker 1 I just like the hard books. I'm overreader.

Speaker 1 I like the physical book. I like to say, leave that on the table.
When people are over. Go ahead and look.
And it's not. You can open the book.
You can open any area you. You just open the book.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'll do Willigreen. I'll do Willigraner.
I'll just play your audiobook in my house all the time. So people come in, and it's just always playing.
You know what I might do?

Speaker 1 I might take the audiobook version, run it through a transcript thing online, and then print that shit out,

Speaker 1 and then just have a stack of paper in front of me. Make my own.
I like that idea. You're like a 3D printer for words, and then get a photo of me and put my photo.
Staple it on the front.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put that shit together. Yeah, all right.
That's paper clip.

Speaker 1 Or the ones that squeeze. Oh, I like those.
I like those three. You fold them back.
Yeah, you can get your finger pinched in there. Gotta be careful with that.

Speaker 1 Thank you, man. Appreciate it.
They're good on nipples, too. You'll put them on nipples.
No, I have not. Of course.
Yeah, you can.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get on that. All right, thanks, man.

Speaker 1 Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 15 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 15 That thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk, chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 15 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger.

Speaker 15 Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else snickers satisfies man that's a winning play okay

Speaker 1 we next have uh prince and cecil fielder so these guys are awesome i wish they were in person but holy

Speaker 1 they are like i think I think I want to be friends with Cecil Fielder. Two legends of the game, for sure.
Cecil, Cecil, I think it's saying the wrong one.

Speaker 1 I grew up calling him Cecil, but I also grew up calling a lot of people a lot of weird.

Speaker 1 grew up calling him John Wooten.

Speaker 1 So I'm not sure. I'm going to go with Cecil Fielder.

Speaker 1 You could make the argument that maybe they're the best father-son hitting duo of all time.

Speaker 1 And Griffin Jr. and Senior.
Yeah, I think Cecil is better than Senior. What about Vlad Sr.
Dude?

Speaker 1 Vlad Jr.

Speaker 1 is one of our hopes for the home run derbies. That's true.
So we should actually just say him. Yeah, it's Vlad Jr.
and Vlad Sr.

Speaker 1 for sure. But then the Fielders.
So we had them on a couple weeks ago. Very fun guys.
Like I said, I wish we had them in person. Hopefully, sometime in the future, we will have them in person.

Speaker 1 But here they are, the Fielders.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on

Speaker 1 two very special guests. It is Prince and Cecil Fielder.
They're here with us from Kingsford. They did the body by BBQ, so they got naked and took pictures.

Speaker 1 We got the pixelation, so we didn't have to see any of the private stuff. But you guys, your bodies are looking good.

Speaker 1 What do you guys do to keep in shape?

Speaker 16 I'm not doing anything right now to keep in shape. I'm out on the grill barbecuing my kings with charcoal, so I'm eating more than I'm trying to stay in shape.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
And Prince,

Speaker 1 I wanted to start with this with the Kingsford partnership. You remember when you were vegetarian for three months? What the heck were you thinking?

Speaker 16 Just trying something different. That's all.

Speaker 1 That was one of those narratives that got, you know,

Speaker 1 once the media got a hold of it, it became such a big story. And I was like, there's no way way this guy is sticking with being a vegetarian.
He's just real weird, man.

Speaker 16 He's a weird guy. He does weird things like that.
You know, he's just weird.

Speaker 1 What other weird stuff?

Speaker 16 He's been like that his whole life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what other weird stuff.

Speaker 1 What other weird stuff does he do as a kid?

Speaker 16 He's got superstitions. He's got all kinds of weird stuff he does.

Speaker 1 What kind of superstitions are we talking about?

Speaker 16 He didn't like sleep. He slept with his back when he was in the swamp.

Speaker 16 I mean, I could see doing that yeah to spend more time with it that was a high school that was high school that was high school what are you talking about you you so superstitious uh i

Speaker 1 gotta get it done i don't know

Speaker 1 he was he was he was really weird in high school he was really weird in high school um prince i remember seeing a couple instagram posts you put up put up of your pig do you still have that pig oh yeah oh yeah What inspired you to get a pig, like, as a pet?

Speaker 16 Well, they told me that when the pig's, you know, real little, you know, he they use a litter. And, you know, we just, our house is being renovated and stuff.

Speaker 16 And I didn't want to have to like housebreak a dog that quick. So with him, I could take my time.

Speaker 16 And then once he got big enough, took him right outside, and he never, he had one accident, and that was it.

Speaker 1 So that's amazing. So how big is he now?

Speaker 16 He's big.

Speaker 16 He's not, I mean, he comes up to about, you know, my shin high, but I mean, he's about,

Speaker 16 what, 150, 200?

Speaker 1 He's getting big now. He's chilling boy.

Speaker 1 Love it. Yeah.
Yeah, so you got a pig that's housebroken, but you named it bacon.

Speaker 1 Was that just you, like,

Speaker 1 putting the pig down and making sure it knew who was boss all the time? Like, hey, I could eat you if I wanted to.

Speaker 16 No, no, just, I mean, you know, I just thought it was a cool name. I mean, it's like naming a cat dog, you know?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I actually think your dad's right. You are weird.
That is a very weird answer to hear.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, so, Cecily, you were a three-time all-star prince. You were a six-time all-star.

Speaker 1 But the most important question, you guys actually ended up with the exact same amount of home runs in your career, which is crazy. Who hit the longer home run, though, in their career?

Speaker 16 Oh, there's no question.

Speaker 16 He knows. Ask him.

Speaker 8 Prince.

Speaker 1 You know anything.

Speaker 16 Yeah, you know. Oh, McColl, you know.
I told him one time. He hits bombs.
I leave stadiums. And that's it.

Speaker 1 I love it. That's a great line.
I love it. So, Cecil, you named him Prince after the musician, Prince.
Is that correct?

Speaker 16 That is my grandfather.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 16 My great-grandfather, I should say.

Speaker 1 Okay, so your great-grandfather was Prince or your great-grandfather named him Prince?

Speaker 16 No, my great-grandfather was

Speaker 16 Pawpaw Prince.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. There's some misinformation on Wikipedia, if you can believe that, about how you got your name.
I'm still going to stick with my question. I was going to ask anyways.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite Prince song?

Speaker 16 Oh, I got him.

Speaker 16 I go 1999.

Speaker 1 Okay, good answer. Good choice.
What about a little Raspberry Beret?

Speaker 16 That's good, too.

Speaker 1 Purple cane, all that. Let's go crazy.
1999 got it going. Kiss.
Computer blue. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can go on.

Speaker 1 I also wanted to ask you, Cecily, I read, now this might be misinformation as well, but Prince was a righty when he was born and you made him into a lefty. What was the thought process behind that?

Speaker 16 Lefties, lefties

Speaker 16 really own the game. I mean, if you can hit left-handed, you can own the game.
And during his career, he owned the game while he was playing it. So, you know, we did a good thing switching him over.

Speaker 1 How did you do that? Because

Speaker 1 I've wondered that about, like, if I have a son, I want to train him to be left-handed as well.

Speaker 16 You just, I mean, he just started swinging from, I mean,

Speaker 16 young enough for age. Yeah, he was so young, it really didn't, it didn't really matter.
So I just told him, turn around, hit from the other side.

Speaker 16 And he just turned around, he started hitting from the other side.

Speaker 16 But that's in the jeans right there.

Speaker 16 I mean, everybody can't do that.

Speaker 16 That's That's just in the jeans. I mean,

Speaker 16 he was going to be a baseball player since he was wearing diapers, man. That dude was swinging a baseball bat when he was one years old.
So it was in his blood.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The famous clip of you, Prince, hitting a home run at Detroit Stadium off of Terry Francona, who was playing. I mean, that's, it's insane.
You were 12 years old. You hit a home run out of MLB Park.

Speaker 1 Were you at that age like, this is going to be, I'm going to be awesome at baseball forever?

Speaker 16 It was, I I mean, I was really, it was, I was surprised myself. Um, obviously, I never hit that was the first time hitting on a

Speaker 16 in big league field or whatever. So, when I did it, I was surprised.
But, uh, as far as thinking, I just, I don't know, at 12, man, I mean, what would you think? I don't know.

Speaker 16 I was just excited I did it. Then I wanted some pizza, really.

Speaker 1 And then, you know,

Speaker 16 he was doing that at every ballpark, though. He was taking batting practice everywhere.
So he started trying to go deep everywhere. Yeah, it became a thing.

Speaker 1 What was it like, Prince, growing up in a locker room like that? You know, there was obviously that

Speaker 1 story a few years ago about the White Sox locker room and the kids in the locker room. You seem like you had, you know, growing up, you were there all the time.
You were one of the guys.

Speaker 1 Was it just totally normal that you were like almost part of the team?

Speaker 16 It became that way, yeah.

Speaker 16 There was a summer where I went with my dad, Sparky, you know, because Sparky never let kids in the clubhouse any, but he let me, you know, so it was pretty cool.

Speaker 16 The whole summer, I got to spend time with my dad in the clubhouse. And, yeah, I basically became like, you know, a mascot.

Speaker 16 And I'm still, you know i was uh i really believe i was gonna pinch hit too like i would go home mad like go back to the hotel like dude that was a perfect opportunity right there

Speaker 16 i was so bad because i thought he was serious i was badass

Speaker 16 i was so serious

Speaker 1 prince be ready

Speaker 1 i was serious

Speaker 1 that's messed up to screw with a 12-year-old like that i would definitely think i was getting in yeah but he

Speaker 16 he had built the fire in me though i'm gonna tell you though

Speaker 16 Tony Phillips and Rob Deere, they had him tied up in tape, put him in the trash cans. They were messing with my kid the whole summer.
It was unbelievable.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
So, Prince, your dad says that you're weird. There's got to be some weird stuff that he does that you're kind of keeping it and not telling us right now.

Speaker 1 But here's your chance to get him back.

Speaker 1 What's he the weirdest at?

Speaker 16 I don't know.

Speaker 16 He's pretty. I mean, if I'm weird, he's got to be weird.

Speaker 5 No, no chance.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 16 he's the weird. He's the first one.

Speaker 1 Let me see. It has to come from somewhere.

Speaker 16 I don't know. I mean, this is.
No, he's not. He didn't do too many.

Speaker 1 He didn't do weird things. Not yet.
No, no, my game.

Speaker 16 Our game was so, like, it was, I mean, it was a different game, different era when I played.

Speaker 16 Everything was so, you know, it was just so business-like, you know, you did, you know, even, you know, dressing.

Speaker 16 Sparky used to make us, you know, wear sports coats if we came downstairs in the lobby. I mean, it was a totally different game.
That's, that's that might have been weird.

Speaker 8 That was weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your rule follower.

Speaker 16 Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 16 Never.

Speaker 16 He wears Zubas.

Speaker 1 Prince, you hit, I think it was two inside the park home runs in your career. How are you still out of breath?

Speaker 16 No, no, no. I was great shape.

Speaker 1 Great shape.

Speaker 1 How long, honestly, would it take like oh oh inside the park home run for you to catch your breath, like fully catch your breath after that?

Speaker 1 Uh

Speaker 16 I mean, you know, you're talking, you're laughing with everybody. I mean, once you sit down and stop the high-fiving, I mean, at least about a couple minutes.

Speaker 16 But one thing about Prince that a lot of people didn't know, Prince could run.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 16 we were at a tryout. I think we were at the Reds tryout when he was out of high school and him and Elijah Dukes hooked up in the 60-yard dash.

Speaker 16 He was actually beating Elijah Duke for the first 40 yards. Then Elijah got him, but Prince had him.

Speaker 16 Prince made him run. And Elijah Duke was an athlete.

Speaker 1 He's got wheels for a big man.

Speaker 1 I remember watching the baseball tonight commercial with you, Cecil, back in like the early 90s, where Peter Gammon told you to steal third base, and you got thrown out by about 40 yards on the way down to third, and then you kicked dirt all over him.

Speaker 1 You remember that one?

Speaker 16 Yes, you do. I got through that third.

Speaker 1 I don't know. No, no.

Speaker 16 You're a horrible base runner, huh?

Speaker 16 You're a horrible base runner. No, a horrible slider.

Speaker 1 Oh, terrible slider. That was a horrible slide.
Gotcha. Terrible fire.
So, Prince. That's why it's neck.

Speaker 16 That's why the neck got back.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you won the home run derby, what was your swing like going into that? And did it mess up your swing after hitting all those dingers at the all-star game?

Speaker 16 Would it mess it up?

Speaker 1 Did it? Like, for the next week or two afterwards?

Speaker 16 No, no, no. For me, not for me, because that was the swing I wanted to take into the game anyway.
I mean, you know, I'm... you know, I'm not, I didn't want to hit the ball on the ground.

Speaker 16 You know, I didn't want to try to beat it out and hurt my hamstring. So my swing in the game was, that's the way I wanted it, kind of like it was the home run derby.
Because, you know,

Speaker 16 the thing is, I was, you know, you're always trying to hit the ball hard, and that was the thing for me. If I'm trying to hit it hard, it'll go out.

Speaker 16 You know, I really wasn't trying to hit in the air so much. My thing is, if I'm trying to hit it hard and in the face, that's the same swing I want to carry into the game.

Speaker 1 And as a former brewer, are you going to be rooting for Christian Yellich in this year's all-star home run derby?

Speaker 16 Oh, for sure. Is he doing it?

Speaker 1 Hopefully, not. Hopefully not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't want him to do it. So,

Speaker 1 the most important question I have for you, Prince, did you ever try to touch Adrian Beltray's head?

Speaker 16 I did. I touched it once.
He couldn't do nothing to me because I had a neck brace on, so he let it go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that

Speaker 1 obviously your career got cut short. It was kind of tragic how it all happened.
But are you able to look back and be like,

Speaker 1 do you have any remorse that it got cut short? Or are you like, man, I really had an unbelievable career even though it got cut short?

Speaker 16 Yeah, yeah. Just yeah, like what you just said, just because,

Speaker 16 you know, I try to play every day. You know, there's probably days I probably shouldn't have played because I was hurt or this and that.

Speaker 16 But, you know, if I didn't do that, I probably wouldn't have been at peace with it now. But I know, I mean, I literally, you know, broke my neck for baseball.

Speaker 16 So, I mean, I think that's why I'm a little at peace with it because I gave it everything I had.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got to say,

Speaker 1 hopefully this doesn't come across the wrong way, but when you did your press conference with the neck brace on, I thought you were like a WWE wrestler. It was like a Stone Cold Steve Austin stunt.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thank you guys for your time.
We appreciate it. Kingsford, go check it out.
Body by BBQ. We're going to be grilling all summer long.

Speaker 1 You guys look great because you got a Body by BBQ, and we appreciate your time.

Speaker 1 All right, man.

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Okay, so we are at the portion of the best of. You should keep listening.

Speaker 1 What we're going to do now is we're going to do best of football. Guess a little football in July.
We've been sitting here watching random sports for the last month.

Speaker 1 We're waiting for football to come back. Here's the good news.
Once July 4th hits,

Speaker 1 it's like an arrow speed button that just goes directly to football season. It's like you're playing Mario Kart and there's somebody that's way in front of you, but the video game helps you catch up.

Speaker 1 You just got a star. God knows that you need an invincibility star to get through this summer, and you're about to get it.

Speaker 1 Training camps are going to open up in what, like three weeks? Basically. Let's get it.
Let's just say three weeks.

Speaker 1 Three weeks from now. Two weeks from now,

Speaker 1 we've got pitchers and catchers of baseball reporting.

Speaker 1 One week if you're doing the Mars calendar. Long snappers and holdback guys report in two weeks.
Here we go.

Speaker 10 Let's get it.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Ink.

Speaker 6 Who's going to be in it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, should we list? Let's just not even produce this live, so don't cut this.

Speaker 1 Should we tell everyone what the whole list is or should we come in and out just the whole list okay here we go all right so we got John Harbaugh ever heard of him yeah well I'll I'll say who I'll say the name you say what they're famous for John Harbaugh turtlenecks Jim Harbaugh's younger brother older brother sometimes you forget because wait John Harbaugh is older yeah but doesn't it feel like Jim is the older one because Jim kind of like he he seems like he is the dominant yeah he's the physically older brother Patrick Mahomes his voice his voice Ike Ike Taylor.

Speaker 1 Rabbits. Also known for being sneaky, one of my favorite guests we've had.

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. Chasing rabbits.
It's on site. Did we put the story of Uncle James Harrison in there? You've got to listen for the Uncle James Harrison story.

Speaker 1 If you missed the Ike Taylor interview, you have to listen for the Uncle James Harrison story. Jeff Fisher, future coach of the year.
10 wins away from being in the top 10 all-time for wins all-time.

Speaker 1 That's all-time for wins. All-time.
And we're not going to talk about the other side of that coin, but as far as wins go, all-time. Todd McShea and Mel Kuyper.
Todd, pumpkin pie.

Speaker 1 Assistant GM for the New York Jets, Todd McShea and Mel Kuyper. That was a great rumor.

Speaker 1 I hope McShea got some cash. Oh, that's exactly what that was.
For sure. He was like, you know what? I'm going to tell Portnoy to put this news out there, and then nobody will know for sure.

Speaker 1 But I bet you ESPN will be terrified: one, of Portnoy knowing about this and them not knowing about it, two, of them not losing me to the Jets. Smart move, Todd.
J.J. Watt from February, who the

Speaker 1 JJ Watt part do,

Speaker 1 awesome. Yeah.
Because he's comfortable with us. Except for the part that he forgot about the Coast Guard.
That's true. Everybody forgets the Coast Guard.
Not us.

Speaker 1 Also, just so you know, we were talking to J.J. Watt pre-engagement.
So he's still a single guy. So kind of wild.
Still doesn't have that ring. He was crazy.

Speaker 1 He was fucking wild. We were popping beer.
This is J.J. Watt unfiltered.
Yeah, as unfiltered as a guy. Now he's got an old ball and chain, but not when we talked to him in February.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start referring to his wife.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take it as disrespect if somebody calls her her JJ Watt's girlfriend. JJ Watt is now, what's your name?

Speaker 1 Disrespect.

Speaker 1 What were you saying about disrespect?

Speaker 1 Fiancé.

Speaker 1 It's like Kia Hey or something. It's a nice name.
Yeah, it's a nice name. A beautiful named woman's fiancé.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then finally, we have one single question from Dan Marino because he fucking hated us, and we kind of hated him. Yeah, hey, hey, Dan Marino, suck my dick.

Speaker 1 I hope Dan Marino comes on every single year, Super Bowl week, and doesn't remember who we are. I guarantee you.
Yeah. How does it feel?

Speaker 1 It must be shitty for Dan Marino to be like the one, like the only person that you share a sponsorship with is OJ for Isotoners, but people know you as the asshole. Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 You're the guy who's everyone's like, yeah, he's kind of prickly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I say, can I, are we in the trust tree? Can I say something right now? Yeah. Just reading those names got me fucking goosebumps.

Speaker 1 Like, I just started thinking about football and Super Bowl week and all these things. There's just a flush of memories coming back.

Speaker 1 Listen, it's about time to get started on your mock drafts for fantasy. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can, as a matter of fact, that's a star that you're going to get to get you through these next, like, the next three weeks. Yes.
Just get started reading fantasy football magazines.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when you're listening to this, if you feel like Steel is coming out soon.

Speaker 1 Yes, if you're listening to this and you're sitting in your office and you hate your life because it's about to be July 4th, but you're sitting in your office, why don't you tweet me, tweet PFT, tweet Hank, give us your top five guys that you got circled for for your mock draft.

Speaker 1 You know what? Get it going. I'm going to say right now, I'm issuing a three-week moratorium on not caring about fantasy tickets.

Speaker 5 I care.

Speaker 1 And now I deeply care about fantasy takes. Yes, for the month of July.
You bug the shit out of us with all your fantasy football takes, like real ones. I want to know.

Speaker 1 I do care. Because

Speaker 1 I'm in like year five of missing the playoffs. So I do want to know.
I want to know about

Speaker 1 the keepers that you have. I want to know the ones that you're trying to make these evaluations for your jettisoning next year, who's going to be your flex.
I care so much about this.

Speaker 1 okay so yeah all july i hate once august hits we don't care about your fantasy team anymore during july we care because we want to talk something football all right so here is your football in july to get you ready for football in a few weeks in july to get you ready for football in july july and football because training camp starts in july yep here they are

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest.

Speaker 1 He is the head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, Super Bowl champion, and more importantly, the final token that we needed to collect to become a part of the Harbaugh family. It is John Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 It's great to have you on, but you know that you have to go up against your brother-in-law and your brother and your dad for guests on this show.

Speaker 13 I know.

Speaker 13 It's big company, but I'm pretty impressed you guys have now been ordained as part of the family. And what does that mean? You know, there's certain obligations involved.

Speaker 1 I think we get to come over for Thanksgiving and have Jim kick our ass in basketball. Yeah, whatever it is.

Speaker 13 And you will kick your ass.

Speaker 13 You will leave a shell of the man that you were.

Speaker 1 Do you ever look at your brother, like, just catch him, and like, he knows that you know? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 Well, here's the thing about it, like, like, like, over the years,

Speaker 5 I mean, well, you know how it is.

Speaker 9 You guys got brothers.

Speaker 13 Yeah, so over the years, like, he, I mean, there were times when I kicked his butt pretty good, and there were plenty of times, probably more than he kicked my butt, because he's kind of a big guy, especially when it got to the point where he got a little lower.

Speaker 13 So we were 25, and he was the head coach of the, or he was the quarterback for the Bears. Got his first big contract, got paid, and took us all on a vacation down to Amelia Island.

Speaker 13 You know, it was great. It was nice.
Fourth of July, paid for everything. It got us out on the beach one day.
And I'm really being grateful. I'm thinking, you know what?

Speaker 13 He's kind of turned the corner here a little bit. This is pretty cool.
And we get out there, we're building a sandcastle with the kids.

Speaker 13 And next thing you know, he starts like, you know, we kind of work our way out into the water. His waves are coming, big waves are coming.
And we're, you know, wrestling.

Speaker 13 He throws a single leg into my right leg as hard as he can. So I sprawl, full sprawl, cross-face, right to his nose as hard as I can, you know, just smash him right in the face.
Or he's strong.

Speaker 13 He stinks the thing, picks me up, and takes me to the bottom of the deal. Like Sam, I see the sand come up around, it's dark, salt water, and all the air bubbles came out.
And I'm like, okay, cool.

Speaker 13 You know, I get it.

Speaker 13 All right. But then he kind of keeps holding me down there, and the waves are coming, holds me down, holds me down, holds me down.

Speaker 13 All right, I mean, I don't know if it was like a minute, but it seemed like 20 minutes. I'm thinking, this is going to be it.
He snapped, you know, he's gone. I've lost him.

Speaker 13 And he's going to be in jail for the rest of his life, but it's not going to help me.

Speaker 17 I'm done, you know.

Speaker 13 So he let me up finally. And once I got my breath, he kind of gave me just what you just did.

Speaker 13 He gave me the old, you know, like, all right bro i know you know we know where it stands right yeah and i had to live with that like for the next 23 years

Speaker 1 okay until the super bowl and now and now you now every now and then he gives you that look well you just you ever watch a show bloodline you just described a scene from bloodline no spoilers yeah i don't think that's that's where

Speaker 1 one of the brothers actually kills the other brother yeah oh really well but does it really have to come to that yeah well i mean jim has told us when we interviewed him the human body craves contact so i can just imagine like if you just brush up against him, he's like, let's wrestle.

Speaker 13 Well,

Speaker 13 he was going over top of Allison when she was five years old to pull rebounds away and put bags to win the family basketball game on Memorial Day.

Speaker 1 But now you have it. Now you have that look.
You can just give it to him. That is the ultimate Trump card.

Speaker 18 That's kind of the ultimate one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's going to snap one day.
He doesn't drown you again.

Speaker 13 But this time he'll follow through with it. He hadn't given up on that, though.
He's planning on revenge or something. There's a game somewhere along the way he's planning on winning.

Speaker 1 Do you miss coaching against him?

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah, I do. I miss him being in the NFL.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 Because, you know, you just had that, say, you were watching the same tape, and we would talk about stuff, but you know, like, you always tell when it got to the point where he was trying to get a little more than he was trying to give.

Speaker 13 You know, you kind of knew where that was. It's like, you know, I know you're holding something back, buddy.
Yeah, right. So I'm not answering your question right now.

Speaker 1 Right, right. That's fantastic.

Speaker 1 When we talked to him, we asked him when the last time he was in a fight, and we were thinking he would say, like, 25 years ago, when I tried to drown my brother, something like that.

Speaker 1 And he was, what did he say, like six years ago in a play against? Yeah, there was a situation a few years ago.

Speaker 1 It was like an Irish fast casual restaurant where he had to put a guy on his back yeah um so we have to ask you the same question when's the last time you were in a fight it was about 25 years ago

Speaker 1 yeah that's the appropriate answer

Speaker 1 we now welcome on two-time super bowl champion two times two-time super bowl champion ikels two oh you want four no i was saying two times you want two more yeah do you wear your rings not at all ever not at all okay so it's ike taylor from formerly from the pittsburgh steelers two-time super Bowl champion.

Speaker 1 Where are your rings? At the house. Okay.
Can I just say that it's really one and a half rings? Oh, I got to be one and a half rings.

Speaker 1 Because the refs got the other half of the ring in the Seahawks Super Bowl.

Speaker 19 No, not at all.

Speaker 1 And also

Speaker 1 that fumble by Bettis against the Colts. That was pretty lucky.

Speaker 19 Right, but that wasn't our fault that we won.

Speaker 1 Yeah, were you?

Speaker 1 Vanderjack gave you Vandertak. You bringing up all the time.
Oh, one and a quarter. One and a quarter from the Colts.
Yeah, one and a quarter is really what it should be.

Speaker 19 Boy, y'all hard on the pimp.

Speaker 1 I was reading your Wikipedia earlier.

Speaker 1 I think you're the fastest person to ever appear on Part of My Take.

Speaker 19 Probably one of them.

Speaker 1 Porter El Patterson and you.

Speaker 10 By the 40.

Speaker 1 Chris Johnson.

Speaker 1 Chris Johnson.

Speaker 1 So you, but you actually were timed in 4.18 seconds for the 40-yard dashes.

Speaker 1 That sounds like some Louisiana cooking.

Speaker 19 4-2-7 was my fastest time.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the pro day one, that was just like, that was your coaches being like, yeah, you totally ran this.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that was probably, yeah, yeah. Somebody probably was asleep.

Speaker 1 sleep okay so woke up like oh 4-1 what yeah that's really fast right so um i heard that you used to train uh you used to train your quickness in a very unusual way you used to chase animals around what whatever my uncle was old school like and that's and that's and i didn't know that that was kind of the norm in florida like them boys go in the fields and they they really chase rabbits like that's what they do like i was just doing that because my uncle was like man this will get you better and faster and quicker Yeah, so I was just doing that just because I always had that drive of good work ethic.

Speaker 19 But you go down in Florida where Fred Taylor is from, where Santonio Holmes is from, they call it Muck City, yeah, Muck City, Florida.

Speaker 1 That's what them boys really do, yeah. Them boys really chase rabbits, they run into that high grass,

Speaker 19 yeah, and they and they get the chasing, yeah, makes you quick, right? I mean, it's all mental.

Speaker 1 I well,

Speaker 1 have you ever caught a rabbit? No, I got close, You know, it's the ski skirt. They got the ski skirt.

Speaker 1 I'm not built. If you get me straight ahead, I'm good.

Speaker 9 The ski skirt?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So you touched one? You ever touched one? Like a flag football? You get them down on flag football? With a rabbit? Yeah.

Speaker 19 No, I mean, I touched a human being in flag football.

Speaker 1 No, but I'm saying, like, if you gotten that close, where you've, like,

Speaker 19 I've gotten real close.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Nervous. Yeah.
Yeah, because what are you going to do? What do you do?

Speaker 19 I'm going to catch the rabbit, then what?

Speaker 1 The dog chasing the car, and then they finally finally get it. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 What about Ben? He's obviously come under some heat as being not a great leader. Richard Mendehal said that he was racist and well-known.
What was your relationship with Ben?

Speaker 1 And do you think he, like, what type of leader was Ben in the locker room?

Speaker 19 A lot of confidence.

Speaker 19 This is what people don't understand about seven. Seven can do a lot of things.

Speaker 1 I like how you do that, seven. Yeah, seven.

Speaker 19 I mean, because seven and I, we were shuffleboard champions in the locker room. That was my teammate.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 19 We still hold the belt.

Speaker 19 But Seven just,

Speaker 19 if you ask Seven to play one-on-one, pick up basketball, he's going to smoke you.

Speaker 19 If you ask him to play ping-pong, he's going to smoke you.

Speaker 19 If you ask him to play

Speaker 19 golf, they say he's a scratch golfer. He's going to smoke you.

Speaker 19 He just so happened to be good at football as a quarterback in the NFL. I think that's going on year 16.

Speaker 19 So Seven can do it all.

Speaker 19 He's one of the few that can do it all. You know, some guys like, okay, you're only just a football player.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Seven can play any sport he wants to play and be good at it.

Speaker 19 But seven kind of understood and now

Speaker 19 I had no beef with seven whatsoever. Playing for seven on offense, if you're a receiver or a running back, could be a little bit different.

Speaker 19 But on the defensive side, there's no beef at all. So I didn't do a few sit-downs with seven, and seven seven used it on sit-down with too many people.
Right.

Speaker 1 If you Terry Bradshaw after they made a mess.

Speaker 19 Yeah, if he don't mess with you, he ain't messing with you. There's no faking

Speaker 19 with seven. If I ain't messing with you, I'm not messing with you.
There ain't no gray area.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm so petty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, it's a good point because I think there's, it's, in today's,

Speaker 1 like, with social media and everything, I think that everyone views these teams and like everyone's best friends because you see it a a lot.

Speaker 1 You know, you'll see everyone posting pictures with each other and everything. When a lot of times a locker room, a football locker room is a lot of fucking people.
Right.

Speaker 1 And there's not everyone's going to get along. That's 53 alphas.
Right.

Speaker 19 So you got 53 gorillas in the locker room. Boy, that's a lot of testosterone.

Speaker 19 So you can only imagine every blue moon, that locker room is going to get torn up from either somebody fight, well, really, it's going to get torn up from fighting, period.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Period. That's just how it was.
You knuckle up, you put the boxing gloves on. We'll shake hands afterwards.
Who did you fight? Yeah.

Speaker 19 Man, so many.

Speaker 1 Man, like, for real.

Speaker 19 Like, it got to a point where Mr.

Speaker 19 And this was

Speaker 19 in a locker room and off-field. It got to a point where Paul Paul Rooney, Mr.
Dan at the time, and Kevin Coba, they sat me down. I was like, hey, bro, you do it again.
We got to let you go.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 So who were you fighting with? Just a little bit of...

Speaker 19 And coming from New Orleans, it was like at the time, eye contact could get your natural beef. So it's a like if I didn't know you

Speaker 19 if I didn't know you and you look at me, me and you walking in two different directions, right?

Speaker 1 That's why I wear the shades.

Speaker 19 So if I didn't know you and you didn't know me, we kind of have beef right now. We fighting on site.

Speaker 1 You just gave me that look. No, I'm saying, like, stop looking at him, been cat.

Speaker 19 We fighting, we fighting on site.

Speaker 1 We good. Okay.

Speaker 19 But that's how, and I brought that mentality to Pittsburgh, not knowing the position I was in. Like, bro, you're a professional.
Like,

Speaker 19 you got to stop.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 19 they sat me down one time, and I looked in their eyes, and I was like, dang. And then I was just thinking and reflecting, like, damn, I'm in a good situation to take care of my mom, my family.

Speaker 19 Like, I can't mess this up. Right.
So I just flip the switch and kind of turn everything.

Speaker 1 But that's also a good point. It feels like the L'A'Veon Bell Antonio Brown situation escalated where no one sat them down and was like, hey, we got a good thing going on.
What are we doing here?

Speaker 19 No, people could say what they want to say. The locker room was in the locker room until L'Avion left.
Like, Le'Veon is the mediator of everything.

Speaker 19 He's somebody you want to have. Interesting.

Speaker 1 In that locker room.

Speaker 19 Le'Veon is somebody you want to have.

Speaker 1 So his absence, you think, helps accelerate the internal ground stuff. 100%.

Speaker 19 Yeah, L'Avion,

Speaker 1 super competitive.

Speaker 19 When Le'Veon first came to Pittsburgh, not his first year, but his second year, my body fat was like

Speaker 19 3.2, and it was like, oh, somebody got you this year. And I'm like, who?

Speaker 1 Le'Veon? I said, Le'Veon, who? Le'Veon. I said, what's this?

Speaker 19 2.7.

Speaker 1 He's dead.

Speaker 1 He's dead if it's 2.9. Nah, not at all.
You know what mine is? What? Bleat this out, Hank, because I don't want it going over the 33%. Okay.

Speaker 6 I mean, mine's probably 45%.

Speaker 1 You don't have to bleed this out.

Speaker 1 So, explain to me the mentality about punching a dude while he's wearing a helmet.

Speaker 19 You don't be thinking. you just don't think about it.

Speaker 1 You're just pissed.

Speaker 19 Yeah, it's just, I've done that too many times.

Speaker 19 Too many times.

Speaker 19 And they, bro, like, what you doing? Like, you ain't doing nothing.

Speaker 1 You're going to break your hand. Yeah.

Speaker 19 So, but at the time, you just don't be thinking, man.

Speaker 19 When you're in the heat of the moment,

Speaker 19 you don't think at all.

Speaker 1 How many times did Bill Cower accidentally spit on you?

Speaker 10 I feel like he spits a lot when he talks.

Speaker 19 Yeah, ain't no telling. Coach Cowell ain't no telling, man.
Coach Cow was

Speaker 19 a player's coach. Like, they said he was hard as a coach to work with, but a player's coach? So, all this dressing up, going to the airport, showing up in suits,

Speaker 1 Coach Kyle was like, hell no.

Speaker 19 Like, we going to kick ass and come back home.

Speaker 1 So, y'all don't need to, y'all don't need to dress up. Right.

Speaker 19 Now, just make sure your pants ain't sagging and you look presentable.

Speaker 1 But dressing up,

Speaker 19 flip-flops,

Speaker 19 wife beaters,

Speaker 19 tank tops,

Speaker 19 pajamas.

Speaker 1 Troy Palomalo's Velcro shoes.

Speaker 19 Velcro.

Speaker 1 Big Ben carrying a big sack of P.F. Changs.

Speaker 1 Coach didn't care nothing about that. And what about Tomlin versus Cower? Like, what was the change like? The change was a little bit, you know,

Speaker 19 business-like. Yeah.
You know, that was Coach T a little bit more business-like. So two different coaches, same goal, but the personalities were different.

Speaker 19 Don't get me wrong, Coach T is another player. Not

Speaker 1 he's an all-the-way player's coach, right? Like, maybe sometimes, too much. People, that's the criticism 100%.
Like, he's he's gonna let you be you, right?

Speaker 19 We did everything together, we did every like to this day. I'm still in the 20-something-man group text in that Super Bowl to this day.
A 20-something-man group man

Speaker 1 text,

Speaker 19 and it's just our kids call each other uncle, like Uncle Troy, Uncle Ike, Uncle Chris Hope, Uncle Joey Porter, Uncle Casey Hampton, Joey.

Speaker 9 Like, it's just, it's just everything is uncle.

Speaker 19 But one thing I did like about, you know, Coach Cowell and Coach Tomley, man, it's just he let our sons run around in that locker room.

Speaker 8 That's cool.

Speaker 19 Which was huge because my son to this day, he's 12. Yeah, he still understands and remembers what was going on.
Like, hey, man, because my son played football.

Speaker 1 Like, why you be trying to run through these boys?

Speaker 19 He was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul out.

Speaker 1 That's a bad thing.

Speaker 19 Yeah, he was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul out of these kids

Speaker 1 at 12. Yeah, so they can come in the locker room as long as you don't Instagram live or Facebook live while coaching talking about it.

Speaker 1 You can just see James Harrison sitting there sundown and just being like, Hey, listen. And dead serious.
You just take the soul out of these kids. And dead serious.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 T-Boy was dead serious. Like, hey, man, come here.
Come here, Lil Ivan. That's my son's name.

Speaker 19 He'll come over there.

Speaker 1 He'll be like, yes, sir. You play football?

Speaker 1 Yes, sir. You any good? Well, I'm just starting.
When you hit him, make sure you take the soul out of him, okay?

Speaker 1 That's so fun.

Speaker 1 Okay, Grit Week, episode one for Grit Week, presented by Body Armor. We are here in Kansas City.
We're joined by Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 He's the reigning NFL MVP and his fullback, Anthony Sherman, who's also known as Sausage with Hands. And let's start with this, guys.
Let's start with how we start every Grit Week interview.

Speaker 1 What is grit? How do you define grit?

Speaker 1 Explain what grit is and where you can see it. We'll start with the fullback because Patrick, no big deal.

Speaker 20 He doesn't really have much grit week.

Speaker 20 I think, you know, the biggest thing is someone that just never gives up, always continues to fight, might get knocked down three, four times, but always continues to continue to fight, fight, fight over and over again.

Speaker 20 And someone that you want to take with you to a back alley and do some damage.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 21 Thank you, Patrick. For me, it's kind of the same thing.
It's just someone that can make it happen. It doesn't have to always be perfect.
They don't have to have the right circumstances.

Speaker 21 There's someone that can find a way to make it happen no matter what the circumstance is.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
That's a good answer. I like that.
We do nitpick you sometimes, but

Speaker 1 there are very few players that we do that to, and those are players that are so universally beloved that we like a lot that we have to find something wrong with them because as fans, we have to be haters at times.

Speaker 1 So, you want to get into some of the nitpicks? You go like this too much when you're trying to hear the play. You put your both hands up to your ears like too much.
Yeah, arrowhead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you're too like. No, but you're on offense.
You're cheering. That's a lie.
You wave them around. You think you look cool?

Speaker 21 Yeah, I think it's just because the arrowhead's so loud that you make a good play, and they're still cheering.

Speaker 1 It's so loud that they're not. Are you saying that they're bad fans because they don't know the game of football and to be quiet on offense?

Speaker 21 No, I'm saying they're good fans because they can never be quiet because there's so many people in the stadium. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. What about how you always point for first downs on penalties? And when you get a first down, it's pretty obnoxious.

Speaker 21 Yeah, I got to make sure I get it, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you always like it says Patrick Mahomes. But think about it this way.
We get it. Think about it this way.

Speaker 21 The rest are thinking about it. They look over, they see someone pointing for the first down.

Speaker 21 First down.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's like

Speaker 1 pointing a direction in basketball when there's a loose ball. Yeah.
Out of bounds. Like the catcher framing a third strike.
Yeah.

Speaker 21 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 You got to give them the bad.

Speaker 1 That actually is a very good explanation for.

Speaker 1 You wear a lot of turtlenecks.

Speaker 21 I've only wore one turtleneck all season last year.

Speaker 1 It's big and 40. You wore it.
60 times. I wore it once.
I've seen it.

Speaker 1 I've seen you wear it. Well, okay, maybe it's not all the time.
No, this isn't long.

Speaker 1 I wore it twice. Hold on.
Two plants.

Speaker 9 Exactly. Thank you.

Speaker 1 And I'm pretty sure I've seen you with like a headband around your neck, too.

Speaker 1 So there's just a lot of stuff happening at your neck. Yeah.

Speaker 21 Yeah, I like to have a very humid and warm neck.

Speaker 1 You got to keep that voice ready to go. Yeah, exactly.
I'll lose it quick, man. Yes.

Speaker 1 What about the big white block on your helmet in the front? That's obnoxious.

Speaker 21 You got to talk to the helmet people about that.

Speaker 1 Well, you could put like a logo of yourself on it or something.

Speaker 21 Yeah, but then you wouldn't be a helmet guy. You'd be

Speaker 21 like,

Speaker 1 you wouldn't be a team guy. Well, let's have a look at it.
Let's put a logo of you pointing to the first down. That way you don't annoy me.
Two birds with one stone.

Speaker 1 I'm not annoyed by the white spot on your helmet, and now you don't have to point after the first.

Speaker 21 I'll put a picture of Sherm.

Speaker 1 There we go. You guys know I have grit.
Or maybe just a little sausage with his face and two hands, stick hands coming out.

Speaker 21 So a full body picture of him.

Speaker 20 Yeah, we might actually have a shirt.

Speaker 1 And then you get a visor so that when he looks at you, he's like, shit, I do have to throw it to the sausage with hands. Yeah, that's one of those next one.

Speaker 21 I just did an Oakley deal, so I can get him a visor for sure.

Speaker 1 Are you going to wear a visor next year? We'll see. Quarterbacks can't wear it.
It'd be quite thick, right? If you had the mirrored visor,

Speaker 1 that'd be sick.

Speaker 21 I don't think they allow that because then you can't see the quarterback's eyes. But I mean, that doesn't matter with me.
Not with you.

Speaker 1 That'd be an advantage.

Speaker 21 It might help out the D.

Speaker 1 You look like a robot from the future playing quarterback with both hands. Yeah.
Not looking anywhere. Wait, so do do you think our nitpicking was fair you got you have to you have to

Speaker 21 some of it

Speaker 1 last pointing last point you know you point too much i do point a lot yeah you do a lot last one

Speaker 1 your voice is hilarious yeah i mean i've heard about it my whole life i like i i like it and again this is one of those things that like we have to find something almost as a joke to to poke fun at um but it's it's a very unique voice and i know that uh Coach Reed absolutely loves it.

Speaker 1 He does. He calls you the voice.
He calls you Froggy. Is that one other other difference?

Speaker 21 He might say Froggy real quick, but the voice is his go-to, and he actually can mimic my voice like perfect.

Speaker 1 Really? Can you do an impression of Andy Reid doing an impression of you? Then I'd just be talking. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I'd just be saying the words.

Speaker 1 My last question.

Speaker 1 Have you heard my impression of you before today?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 21 I've heard it. I've seen it on Twitter, man.

Speaker 1 When you first saw it, did you think I was the world's biggest asshole, or do you think it was funny?

Speaker 21 I thought it was pretty funny, honestly. Because you had like a full, it wasn't like you were just doing the impression.
You had a full, like, like, like I was doing an interview.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it made it better. You take it down to you.
It made it better. Also, I think it helps that I suck at it, and I'm actually not good.

Speaker 1 I just kind of do weird stuff that sounds like Yoda, and I call it an impression. That makes it better, though.
Yeah. It's not like you're actually like going full out trying.

Speaker 21 You're just doing whatever you think's best. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, good.
That's been weighing on me. Do you want to ask him a question?

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes. How good were you at playing 500 when you were a kid? And you bet you could throw the football a quarter mile right straight through the clouds.

Speaker 21 All I heard was football as a kid, and I didn't play football until I was like in high school.

Speaker 1 Patrick, you misheard me.

Speaker 1 Throw the ball a quarter mile through the clouds. I heard it because I can't play 500.
Patrick, I was playing 500.

Speaker 21 I've never heard myself talk in person, so I can't understand. I can't understand.

Speaker 1 Is that better or worse than Coach Reids?

Speaker 21 No, dude, Coach Reids is on point, man. Okay.
Coach Reed is exactly what I think I sound like. So to me, it's on point at least.

Speaker 1 Do you think you could kill a man with a football?

Speaker 21 I hope not. I hope not.
I mean,

Speaker 21 it would have to be very fast, and I had to hit the perfect spot.

Speaker 1 10 yards away, 10 yards away. I'm standing over here, running my little mouth, doing my little impressions of you, really annoying you.

Speaker 1 You have a football, and you have an opportunity to shut me up for good. Okay, maybe not kill me, maybe just break my jaw.
Yep, so I can't.

Speaker 21 I probably break the jaw, but I don't know about kill a man.

Speaker 1 That'd be pretty tough.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you gotta go back

Speaker 1 to actually move forward.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on maybe one of the most special guests we've ever had. It is Coach Jeff Fisher.
Long time coming. Long time coming for you to be on Pardon My Take.

Speaker 4 That's big company now. You talk about most ever.
Yes. You've had some great people.

Speaker 1 I'm a fan.

Speaker 4 Believe me, I know what you're doing.

Speaker 4 I'm not just one of those coaches that's right off in the sunset, doesn't keep an eye on what's going on out there.

Speaker 1 So you got to go to the bottom.

Speaker 1 bad guy what you guys are doing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so that's good company.

Speaker 1 Thanks for the compliment. All right, so then let's start with that because you keep an eye on it.
Now, I have to admit that the

Speaker 1 eight and eight, seven and nine jokes that get made on Twitter, I probably was part of the creation of that, and I want to apologize to you.

Speaker 4 Well, that's okay. We'll talk after we're done.

Speaker 1 Okay, perfect. But I also am part of the solution

Speaker 1 because I'm also making the videos that is trying to hype you up to get you a new job.

Speaker 4 Well, I appreciate it. I'm, you know, it's, it, you know, shit happens in this league now, I'm telling you.

Speaker 4 But it's okay. I'm, I'm, you know, we'll get into it, but I'm in a really good place, man.
I've had a blast, you know, the last couple years.

Speaker 4 And, you know, I hadn't had a fall off in 30 years, you know, and I didn't know what my cabin in Montana looked like in September, you know, and so I got an opportunity to do that.

Speaker 4 But, you know, you can only take so many trips to Alaska or Argentina or only can fish so many rivers so many times or get chased by moose or bears and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 4 I'm good with coaching again.

Speaker 1 I want to talk about that team, the special Titan season where you go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So it's incredible because obviously everyone in their mind thinks, you know, one yard short, but we have to go backwards here for the Music City Miracle, which is an iconic play in its own right.

Speaker 1 What's going through your mind during the Music City Miracle? And did you guys practice that play?

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, the history behind it, before that year, for 10 years or so, what we had on our team that we practiced every Saturday was we called the Stanford Cal team. Okay, the Stanford Cal play.

Speaker 4 So you get everybody that can handle a football, left-handers and right-handers, and then you just kick the ball off and they just try to keep the ball alive and push it down the field.

Speaker 4 And as we go through the course of the season, we would add defenders. So, you know, you could score against three guys, and then by the end of the season, you got 10 guys.
It's a fun thing.

Speaker 4 So Alan Lowry, our special teams coach, came to me prior to the 99 season. He goes, hey, come look at this tape.

Speaker 4 He goes, I found this way back this summer on my vacation, and it was a play that happened at Texas against Texas A ⁇ M or somebody back in the 70s.

Speaker 4 And it was kind of designed that way where the kick went to one side and then threw back the other and da-da-da. So we actually put it in, and yes, we do practice it.

Speaker 4 But the funny part of the story was, so we practice it every Saturday. So

Speaker 4 when Christian makes a kick and there's a TV timeout, I turn to Alan. He turns to me.
We simultaneously say, home run throwback. I go, yep.
So, okay,

Speaker 4 where's Mace?

Speaker 4 And so Derek Mason was our guy. Okay.
He was the deep guy. He should have been the Kevin Dyson.
Okay. Mason has a concussion.
Trainer says, Coach, he has got a concussion.

Speaker 4 He's in the next week someplace. I go, okay.
Well, then the next guy, the backup was Anthony Dorsett Jr.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Anthony Dorcet was cramping up when I called for him. So I grabbed Dice and I said, did you pay attention on Saturday home run throwback? He goes, Coach,

Speaker 4 not really. I didn't pay attention.
I said, okay, hey, all you got to do, stay to this side of the field and make sure you are five yards behind the ball, period, outside the numbers.

Speaker 1 That's all you got to do.

Speaker 4 He goes, I got you, coach. So, you know, the five-yard thing turned into five inches.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, he definitely didn't do that right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, but it was, I got you, coach. So, so we didn't work on the kick that Lowe caught.

Speaker 4 Every kick that we worked every Saturday was a deep left, deep right, hard squib, but hard squib to all different guys. But it wasn't a bloop.

Speaker 4 We worked on that random bloop kick. And so Lowe had the presence of mind to get it and, like, I don't want it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Got rid of it.
Got it to Frank. That's the most fullback move of all time.
Lorenzo Neal gets the ball and he's like, I don't want it. I'd rather block somebody.

Speaker 4 Yes, I don't want this right now because I don't know what to do with it, right? Except get it to Frank. So he gets it to Frank.
And I kind of standing there watching this thing. I'm like, oh man.

Speaker 4 And then as soon as he got it to Frank, and then I see Kevin kind of on the side, I can see across the field Frank. I'm kind of where Frank is.

Speaker 4 And when Frank throws the ball to Kevin, I can see Byron Boston, okay, the headlinesman, point backwards.

Speaker 4 And I knew that he was calling it a ladder on the field. So I saw his hand go backwards.
Okay.

Speaker 4 And so now I'm kind of hopping down the sideline going, come on, get out of bounds, Kevin, get out of bounds. And I go, oh, shit, no, score, you know, kind of that thing.
They scored.

Speaker 4 And so then, you know,

Speaker 4 the part of the story that's not told is so, you know, it all goes to replay and everything. And the world is a mess.
I mean, the stadium's a mess.

Speaker 4 To this day, you'll find 200,000 people that say they went there, and there was only 60,000 people.

Speaker 4 So in my mind, I'm doing the math, and we're up by five,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 4 Or maybe four, whatever it was. But I got to go for two.

Speaker 4 Okay, the most elementary chart in the world, go for two chart, says go for two.

Speaker 4 I didn't think we could execute a play offensively once the ruling came back, stays on the field.

Speaker 4 So I said, What are the odds of this happening again in my mind? I said, Screw it, we'll just kick the extra point. They brought the ball out across midfield to end the game.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 No one talks about that. No, man.
No one's talking about that. Oh, that game wasn't over until it was over for me.

Speaker 1 What would have happened if Dyson had caught it? Did he have the arm to get it? Was he going to throw it to Wycheck?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. Dyson's getting the ball back across field.

Speaker 1 He's got the arms to do that? Oh, yeah. That's hilarious that he just didn't pay attention in the final thing.
I wish that guy came back.

Speaker 4 You know, Dyson's a Utah State kid, I think. No dish, if I get it wrong, it was a play, Utah or Utah State.
And just kind of like a cool, what, you know, go happy-go-lucky California dude, you know?

Speaker 4 And he's like, Yeah, I really didn't pay attention, coach.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 The biggest play. Yeah.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 He really didn't have time to overthink it.

Speaker 4 So, Bud Adams was in the elevator going down. Game was over.
Wow. Personally, my father was in the restroom.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.
He was? Yeah. And so here's something you can't admit.

Speaker 4 So I have a, my son

Speaker 4 was, he was running Polaroids back then on the sideline So he's on the sideline and so we're all at home in the kitchen got the little TV in the kitchen going and everybody's over and we're watching this thing after right after the game and and I hear him go hey look there I am there I am he has planes ESPN's playing over and over and over and I go where are you he goes right there and so he's at the bottom of the screen and he's he's he's jumping up and down you see him like 15 10 5 and he's jumping he goes in the end zone and he's going yeah that's cool I made TV I go hey what the hell are you doing in the white

Speaker 4 And he stops. I go, if you hit that fish, he'll hit you, bumped you in the

Speaker 1 white on the field.

Speaker 4 None of this happens. And oh, I felt so bad.
He just got sick to his tongue. I go, no, no, no, no, no.
It's okay. It'll have been sessed on the kickoff.
We'd have been tired.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The old Mike Tomlins special.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 No, he wasn't even close.

Speaker 1 So if you see that, Steve Baker's down, that's Brandon.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you know, that's Brandon who coached with me for five years.

Speaker 1 So let's go forward to that Super Bowl, which is also an iconic Super Bowl. Also on my birthday, whatever, not to brag, so we have that in common.
All right, so that game, one yard short.

Speaker 1 The one thing that I think people forget about that game is you guys were down 16-0, and that game was basically over.

Speaker 1 And then there's a video of you yelling at the team in your zip-up sweater vest, which was awesome, by the way.

Speaker 4 Thank you. That was a logo athletic thing that they never ever paid me to wear.
Oh, that was a good one.

Speaker 1 It was one of those deals.

Speaker 4 Hey, coach, wear our vest and we'll pay you this. Yeah, and then they went out of business the next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and so that play, so you're down 16-0, you come all the way back, and the play before is the McNair play that is one of the all-time plays in the Super Bowl that kind of gets lost because of the next play.

Speaker 1 That happens. What goes through your mind after that play? And basically, like, how many times did you watch that play over and over the weeks and months out of the way?

Speaker 4 I didn't watch it. I mean, you see the last play, but I didn't watch the game for 10 years.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so I knew what happened. I just need to.
And I didn't until I was going to do a feature story on it, so I needed to go back and refresh my memory.

Speaker 4 And I read the play-by-play first, and then went back and watched the game.

Speaker 4 But we lost our starting free safety, which is a key component of our defense in the championship game, Marcus Robertson down in Jacksonville the week before.

Speaker 4 And then we lost Blaine, Bishop, our other safety. So we're down to our third and fourth safety.
So that was an issue, and that was a result. There was some confusion.

Speaker 4 We gave up a couple of big plays. But yeah, see,

Speaker 4 I felt this, strongly felt this at halftime, was that we got away from who we were, particularly because we were trying to do what they were doing, which is pick it up and throw it.

Speaker 4 So we got the message to everybody, the coaches, that, hey, here's what got us here. Here's what we're going to go back to.

Speaker 4 We're going to give this, we're going to turn this thing over to Eddie and Steve and go. So, you know, that happened.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, the Steve play at the end there to escape, you know, to get the first down. Even the scramble around to get to Dyson to make a big first down was huge.

Speaker 4 And then, you know, it was one of those deals. You know,

Speaker 4 it was not, I mean, it was hard.

Speaker 4 It was so close. I mean, if you look at the play on tape, they dropped Eddie, who was swinging to the left.

Speaker 4 And then, you know, you guys get excited. And, you know, the design was to have Kevin push, you know, a yard or two deeper.

Speaker 4 And if Kevin pushed a yard or two deeper, then Mike would have at least flipped his hips and been moving up the field. And Kevin would have come underneath, and it might have been closer.

Speaker 4 He might have walked in, don't know. But that's football.
But, you know, the moments, the special moments that you have with your quarterback and your team after that, and the memories.

Speaker 4 Keep in mind, and we talked about this, but

Speaker 4 this year's Super Bowl here a few weeks away. It's the first time it's been in Atlanta since then.

Speaker 4 And so there's a lot of people wanting to know about the specifics of the last thing. City Atlanta was awesome.
It was just, there was an ice storm, and we had one week.

Speaker 4 So we practiced on the ice at Georget,

Speaker 4 on the outside, Practiceville. We didn't have the luxuries that they're going to have this time around.
But, you know, when it's all said and done and you realize that you're that close, the memories

Speaker 4 of the things that happened after the moments that I had with Eddie and the moments I had with Steve.

Speaker 4 And for example, Eddie, we leave Atlanta, go back to Nashville Tuesday, we have a big parade and the parade's over. Eddie comes into my office.

Speaker 1 He goes, I don't want to go to the Pro Bowl.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 4 What's the matter, Eddie? Are you losing your mind?

Speaker 4 No, man, Jeff, I don't want to go to the Pro Bowl. I go, Eddie, you were voted by your peers, voted by your coaches, voted by the fans to go to the Pro Bowl.
You can go out to Hawaii.

Speaker 4 It's warmer out there. You can go out there, drink margaritas at Mai Tai's at practice.
You don't want to go to Pro Bo? He goes, no, man. He goes, I want to start on next year right now.

Speaker 4 And that's what happens when you lose that game.

Speaker 4 And especially that close.

Speaker 1 Anything to get that taste out of your mouth.

Speaker 4 They want to start on next year, and that's how Steve was. And it was a great group of guys.
Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Tot, Todd, Tot.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on two very special guests. They are the draft gurus for ESPN.
They have a podcast called First Draft. Go listen to it.

Speaker 1 They have all the info you need for the draft coming up on Thursday night. It is Mel Kuyper.
It is Todd McShea. I want to start with an easy one, guys.

Speaker 1 Do you sleep this week? Like, what does it look like this week? Are you just wall-to-wall draft coverage? Go ahead, Mel.

Speaker 17 Yeah, basically, I can't speak for Todd, but now you have calls you have to make as well.

Speaker 17 You know, you got it in between all the different stuff you're preparing for ESPN.com and obviously getting ready for the draft and finalizing grades and doing all that.

Speaker 17 You have calls to make to your friends in the NFL and obviously friends that used to be in the NFL, anybody that has information that you can kind of gather and put together and work in conjunction with what you've heard.

Speaker 17 So you need time for all that. But now sleep-wise, I'd say, Todd, I'll say I usually get to bed around 1-2 and up some at 5-6.

Speaker 1 You know, Mel's earned it. I'll give it to him.
But he also stays at the Kuiper compound. He's like the cozy home.
Oh, yeah. His wife there, friendly compound.
Homemade meals and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm back down here last night. Bristol, today, tomorrow, all the shows, and then fly into Nashville where he's just chilling and everything's good.

Speaker 17 I'm going over to see Buzz Brainerd, the highway

Speaker 17 over at Margaritaville, tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, you guys are in your studio right now in Bristol. We're here in New York, so this isn't face-to-face.
We're losing that personal touch.

Speaker 1 So I thought I'd just give you an opportunity to set the scene a little bit. Todd, can you describe to us in detail how Mel's hair is looking right now? He's in a different studio right now.

Speaker 1 But let me tell you this. I have stood with him on Fifth Avenue,

Speaker 1 walking out of the hotel, going over to

Speaker 1 where was the draft that year, Mel?

Speaker 17 Radio City, wasn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Radio City.

Speaker 1 And it was a windstorm. You guys know it's like the wind tunnels on Fifth Avenue and all those avenues.

Speaker 1 I've got my tie is sideways.

Speaker 1 Rain's coming down. I'm a mess.

Speaker 22 Everything's falling all over the place.

Speaker 1 I looked over and Kuiper's hair hasn't moved an inch.

Speaker 1 Consistency. We like guys who look good in shorts, and Mel, you should know something about that.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Clausen.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 17 That was one of my best evaluations ever, wasn't it?

Speaker 1 Looks great in shorts. He looks great in shorts.
What happened there? Walk us through how you still are working.

Speaker 17 I guess I was too much of a Notre Dame fan because I had been ripped for not having Rick Meyer high enough. I'd had Rick Meyer.

Speaker 1 I'm glad we get to talk about this publicly. This is good.

Speaker 1 And what about Brady Quinn?

Speaker 17 I am destroyed. I figured I'd give them Notre Dame.
That's my team. I love Notre Dame.
I'm big in the fighting Irish. hand.

Speaker 1 And you promised you were going to retire.

Speaker 1 I'm going to read that quote for you guys here, okay? Because you said...

Speaker 17 I was forced out of retirement after about an hour.

Speaker 1 We're going to run through the entire transcript here. If Jimmy Clausen is, this is Mel Kuiper speaking.
If Jimmy Clausen is not a successful quarterback in the NFL, I'm done. That's it.
I'm out.

Speaker 1 Then it's over, guys. He can come out of retirement.

Speaker 1 Then Todd says, what's your time frame, Mel? When do we make that assessment? And then you say, I want eight years. Todd says, it will only take three years, Mel.
We can tell inside three years.

Speaker 1 You said, I want eight. It's been eight years.
And you said you were done. 18.
Yeah, he was extremely. I was like, I'm just a young guy, you know, trying to make my way in the world.
And he was just

Speaker 17 trying, guys, I was trying to make Todd look good. He was an unknown.
Nobody knew who McShea was. This Richmond Spider 15-string quarterback.

Speaker 17 Nobody ever knew who the heck he was. He wasn't on any boards.
Nobody even knew he ever played the game. And he's coming on the ESPN.
People thought, yeah,

Speaker 17 who's this guy? I had to give him credibility. What's the best way to give a newcomer credibility?

Speaker 1 Fall on the solar. We call him a superstar.

Speaker 1 I did it all for Todd. I was really set up for Todd.
Yeah, all right. So in fairness, Todd, I want to hear your worst, the worst evaluation you've ever done.

Speaker 1 The guy that you're like, I totally missed on him. Jamarcus Russell.

Speaker 1 A lot of people, yeah. He can throw far

Speaker 1 on his knees, though. That's 60 yards.
Yep.

Speaker 1 That pro day, man.

Speaker 1 I still have never seen anything like it. Just a freak.
But then, I mean, again, I was young and dumb, but I trusted the people.

Speaker 1 I trusted some of the people I shouldn't have trusted in terms of who he was, but I should have known.

Speaker 1 Jamarcus went and sat down after his workout and made everyone in the media and everyone come over and talk to him because he was just kind of tired and lazy.

Speaker 1 And everyone just kept saying, no, he's poised. You know, he's relaxed.

Speaker 1 He doesn't let anything get to him. But

Speaker 1 he was lazy, and I took it on the chin. He was exhausted after his pro-day workout and choice.
You throw him from his knees. Yeah, that would be a red flag.

Speaker 1 Do you guys root for the players that you've gassed up?

Speaker 1 Are there guys that you say, like, for example, in that draft, when Jamarcus Russell hits the field for the first time, are you rooting for him to succeed? I mean, I could lie to you. I kind of do.

Speaker 1 Some guys, certain guys.

Speaker 1 I don't necessarily root for failure, although I don't get upset when Kuiper loves a guy.

Speaker 1 And I don't.

Speaker 1 But, you know,

Speaker 1 just being real with you. Sure.
Yeah. Sometimes I've watched and I'm like, oh, man, what? Come on now.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 What's the guy you guys have disagreed on the most?

Speaker 17 The most? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The two Notre Dame quarterbacks are off.

Speaker 17 You hated Josh Allen last year.

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 1 I introduced you to Josh Allen. Oh, give me a point.
I did his conference championship game the year before. You didn't even know who he was.
Oh,

Speaker 17 yeah, but you hated him. So you must not have liked anything you saw.

Speaker 1 This is great. This is great.
You had him as like the seventh or eighth best player in the draft. You're out of your mind.

Speaker 19 Yeah, you had him as a, but yeah, okay.

Speaker 17 Go back to, go back, guys. Go back to some of the little commentary from Mr.
McShay, Todd, Todd, Todd, on Josh Allen, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Speaker 17 Okay, I had to defend the guy to the hilt the entire way through the process when everybody was beating up Josh Allen. I defended him, and here we are, franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 It's not even worth it anymore. That's so good.
That's so good.

Speaker 17 Ryan Tannehill is another one, by the way.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I like Tannehill.

Speaker 17 You loved him.

Speaker 17 I wasn't high.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like Tannell. I'll eat it.
He could still play.

Speaker 1 If he stayed healthy,

Speaker 1 this is the year he takes. He is a good player when he's healthy.
Sam Bradford's a good player when he's healthy. He just can't stay healthy.

Speaker 17 Hey, by the way, Sam Bradford went number one when Clausen went in the second round. At least they could cut the ties with Claussen.
Bradford cost that many teams of

Speaker 1 Bradford broke the record now.

Speaker 1 Let me give you some advice, bud.

Speaker 1 Stay away from Brady Quinn and Clausen.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure.

Speaker 17 Stay away from Bradford. What did that get you?

Speaker 1 This is great. This is like back in the day with John Clayton and Sean Salzberg.

Speaker 1 Okay, we welcome on recurring guest and friend. Can we say friend?

Speaker 1 I think we can. Okay, it is JJ Watt.
Best friend J.J. Watt.
In New York City. It's great to have you back on.
Great to have microphones this time so everyone can not yell at us, which was our fault.

Speaker 11 Yeah, no, hopefully they can hear us this time.

Speaker 1 Fun Fun little story. When we interviewed you in your gym in Wisconsin, we hired some outside people to like do the audio and the video.
And one of the guys brought home his computer and his kid

Speaker 1 went on the computer or like they transferred files and he just watched the whole thing and then DM'd us and was like, hey, I have all the JJ Watt footage.

Speaker 1 And we're like, can you not release that, please? So it was a cluster fuck from start to finish. But it's good to have you here.
It's good to have you in the office.

Speaker 1 Where do we want to start? You want to start with football?

Speaker 11 we can start wherever you'd like to start cat all right let's start with football

Speaker 1 uh good year for the texans good not great good not great i like that attitude i like that a lot so we're like you're not getting younger obviously none of us are but you're you know about to be 30.

Speaker 1 it's a hot take yeah it is a hot take about to be 30.

Speaker 1 you guys are the texans feel like that team that's always kind of flirting with it right where like

Speaker 1 Is it get harder every year when you get bounced from that first Saturday playoff game that you always play?

Speaker 11 Well, I think with the type of team that we have now, and obviously, I mean, you have a quarterback, and when you come into a season and you have a guy who you know is going to be the quarterback, you have a whole offseason to work with him, and the type of talent that we have, I mean, Hoppe is an unbelievable receiver.

Speaker 11 You got Lamar Miller in the backfield, the defensive guys that we have.

Speaker 11 You have a chance to build on that chemistry that we worked on.

Speaker 11 And obviously, it didn't end the way we wanted it to, but the nine-game winning streak and learning from an 0-1-3 start and coming back and winning games.

Speaker 11 We have some young guys,

Speaker 11 and our quarterback's a young guy. So to be able to go through that season and some of the ups and downs and to have such a tough ending like that, it makes you hungry to go back in there and work.

Speaker 11 And I think that that's going to help us this offseason.

Speaker 1 What motivated you more?

Speaker 1 So I, well, no, I know what motivated you more, but is there a little small part of you that was motivated by the fact I would have to cut off my pinky if you won the Super Bowl?

Speaker 11 Once I heard about it, I did start doing extra reps in the weight room.

Speaker 11 I did stay after practice a little bit.

Speaker 1 Would you have watched? Would you have come? I offered it. I would have been there.
Yes. I said you could have cut it off.
I would have been there.

Speaker 11 It would have been great. I don't know if I could have stomached cutting it off myself.
Right.

Speaker 1 But I would have to go. But I also would have just sued you right away.
I mean, really. Like, instantly.

Speaker 1 The Super Bowl check gone. Yeah, there you go.
That would have been.

Speaker 11 Would you have legitimately followed through?

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 11 How much of it would have gone?

Speaker 1 From the tip up.

Speaker 1 And now I'm going to have to do it every year. I'm going to have to pick a team.

Speaker 1 So I picked it when you guys were 0-3. I think you picked it when you were like 2-3.
No, no. What happened was, so we put the dungeon on your team.
You probably were aware of our famous dungeon.

Speaker 1 Everybody talks about it.

Speaker 1 When you guys were 0-3 we hung that necklace around your neck uh and said the texans they're not winning they're not doing anything this year we counted you guys out um that amongst many other pundits i think correct we wrote you guys off and then after you went on a little run i was like i think we got to reconsider the dungeon and maybe take the necklace off him and big cat was like they're not doing shit if they win the super bowl i'll cut my pinky off and it was a record scratch moment we're like wait wait did you just yes you say that

Speaker 1 once you say something like that on this show like we're all in like yeah there's no turning back from that. I would have.
He would have, yeah. It would have been.

Speaker 1 It would have been a great content moment.

Speaker 11 I mean, can you imagine the viewership? Yes.

Speaker 1 I would have sold it, pay-per-viewed it, sold it. I would have sold ads, like mini ads, on the tip of my pinky and had a zoom in.
And as it gets cut, it's like brought to you by $1800.

Speaker 11 You may want to consider doing it just for the content.

Speaker 1 I need you to win. Maybe it's.
No, I'm not going to be able to do it. Do you stick with us every year? I mean, hey, I mean, come on.
Do you know? I'm going to stop. Do you know Tim Tebow?

Speaker 1 I mean, acquaintances, yeah.

Speaker 1 Our thought was that he could come in and circumcise Big Cat's pinky. Just tip off.

Speaker 1 He's got experience.

Speaker 1 I mean, if you want to make that phone call.

Speaker 11 I mean, he has. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's been in the trenches. Yeah, for sure.
So, I mean, I guess maybe I will do.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do it right now, but maybe next year I'll give you that extra motivation again and be like, hey, you can cut off my pinky.

Speaker 7 You're watching me cut off my pinky.

Speaker 1 Because what better... What better Super Bowl, like you win the Super Bowl,

Speaker 1 you reach the highest height, and then you get to watch your number one Twitter troll cut off a piece of his finger. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 11 Peace to the pinky.

Speaker 1 We got a hashtag.

Speaker 1 So last time we spoke, we were probably, you probably thought we were huge assholes and big time Twitter trolls.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 things were a little dicey online with the hey JJ stuff for a while, which kind of died down after you sat down and talked with us. But to be fair,

Speaker 1 you've kind of moved past what you were doing in the past, too, with some of the cringy stuff, the extra medium shirts, all that stuff, the Fort Miner, all that.

Speaker 1 How much credit should we get for improving you as a person? Because I noticed that you didn't win Walter Payton Man of the Year until we visited you. Right, right, right.

Speaker 11 No, I think it's fair. You know, I think that sometimes,

Speaker 11 obviously, I think there may be of times it was over the top with the, oh, hey, Jay, all that stuff. But I also think that there is something to, I mean,

Speaker 11 sometimes people have to call you on your shit. It's fair.

Speaker 11 And I think that if you're not able to sit there and look at yourself and really kind of take inventory of what you've been doing and what you might need to change and things like that.

Speaker 11 So I do think I'm a different person from that back then. I don't know if it was all because of that, but I do think that it played a part in it for sure.

Speaker 11 But I'm always trying to grow. I mean, I'm still going to, I guarantee I make more mistakes going forward.

Speaker 1 We're just your like very, we're actually your best friends.

Speaker 1 We're the friend group that's like, hey, we're going to call you out on your shit.

Speaker 11 You're the people that say, hey, there's broccoli in your teeth. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
No, but I, you, we were probably a little too harsh.

Speaker 1 It was, you, the great part about that whole interaction, how it ended, is that you also proved that as soon as we, I think we walked away being like, don't meet the guys that you troll online because you find out they're great people.

Speaker 1 Like, you actually are a great guy, and it was fun to meet you and be like, oh, shit, maybe we should, like, pump the brakes.

Speaker 1 And you also, going forward, I think helped us with future guests being like, yo, if you come on, it kind of takes the air out of the joke and it just makes it a relationship now.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It goes from this like adversarial thing to like, hey, we're just friends now. Yeah.
Did you hate Hard Knocks? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you were also the star.

Speaker 11 It also came at a time that wasn't.

Speaker 1 That was Peak JJ. Yeah, it was.
That was Peak JJ.

Speaker 11 It is one of those things where you look back and you're like, shit. Man, if I did that today, I would do it a lot differently.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that you did it. So I had that forever.

Speaker 11 I mean, it is just, it is such.

Speaker 1 They're around 24-7.

Speaker 11 And I mean, so, like, I don't care how normal you say you're going to act. I don't care how, like, every single time you turn around and you see a camera microphone,

Speaker 11 you cannot physically act completely normal all the time. It's just hard.

Speaker 1 We have it here. I mean, we get filmed all the time and it does, there's many times where it's like, this sucks.
Right. Because you're, yeah.

Speaker 11 Yeah. So, I mean, no, but I look back at that and there's definitely some things where I'm like, dude, I mean, come on.

Speaker 1 The tire flips were good. I like the tire flips.

Speaker 10 Do you still listen to Fort Minor?

Speaker 11 It comes on every now and then, but no, I wouldn't say it's in the regular rotation. Okay.

Speaker 1 With Spotify just for you.

Speaker 11 When it comes on, I think of you you guys every single time

Speaker 1 you should

Speaker 1 I mean it's over

Speaker 1 what do you want me to do like 10% like off

Speaker 1 you know geez that's so good that's so good yeah do you think you're ever gonna get cut

Speaker 1 it's dude it's possible kind of mean that's possible I mean it's it just popped in my head it's a business we're at that portion of the interview where we're just doing no I like that I like that it's definitely possible oh speaking of getting cut how come you haven't trained with knives like Aaron Donald

Speaker 1 question it's because it's scary yeah yeah it is It's wildly dangerous. Yeah.
He actually told us they were fake knives. That's bullshit.
Come on. How many more years do you think you're going to be?

Speaker 11 Cool, I mean, like that. Like, how come, like, you, could you imagine, could you imagine if I did that four years ago?

Speaker 1 Oh, you guys were

Speaker 1 trust you. Yes.

Speaker 9 I mean, it would be

Speaker 1 JJ. Knives are actually like...
cause thousands of murders a year. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Like every now and then, like on my Instagram Explorer page, I'll see something, whether it's an athlete or not an athlete, and I'll be like, if I did that

Speaker 11 in 2014 or 2015 yes I would that would yeah no doubt but I think that's part of it too is like you're when you that was kind of during like a come up like I was yeah you know so as you're on the come up anything you do becomes a news story so like they'll pick up anything and it becomes a headline like my house up in Wisconsin all that stuff and it's headlines and then it's like you're everywhere and it feels like oversaturation and you kind of do stuff that I was doing stuff obviously I don't wouldn't do now but it's just it all culminates in like okay this guy's turned into kind of of and the internet.

Speaker 1 I think was a little meaner, like the internet shifts, the internet does weird things, still pretty mean.

Speaker 1 It is still pretty mean, but Twitter mainly, Twitter is Twitter's, but it all just kind of shifts. I get maybe it's not the internet's meaner.

Speaker 1 I think people have become more aware of trolls and start to kind of tune them. Like, people now know the playbook on trolls.
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like if you if you feed them, it gets worse, right? So, right, you should never have responded to us.

Speaker 1 We wouldn't be here today. Yeah, that's true, and we wouldn't be friends.
Best friends, correct. Uh, how many more years are you going to play?

Speaker 1 It's a good one. You almost retired.
When? When you wrote that letter saying you almost retired. I said I thought about it.

Speaker 1 No, remember, but then you saw the kid wearing your jersey and you were like, I'm not going to retire because he wasn't wearing a jersey.

Speaker 4 You're right.

Speaker 11 That was almost like the end of. Yes.
That was like the start of a transition towards. Yes.
Two years away from the game will do that to you, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a sappy story. It was a good story.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was you actually wearing your jersey? Yeah. No, it was real.
I mean, that whole story was real.

Speaker 11 See, that's the thing.

Speaker 11 Like, even during that time, because of what what i had built up i guess like even when you're writing something that's a hundred percent real and true and like everyone's like come on yeah everyone's like dude really the kid's wearing fucking jersey

Speaker 11 i'm like no dancer like during that time i was like as i was writing this article i was like this is so pointless because i'm right this is a hundred percent true and it's like a legit story but i'm gonna get ripped for it

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on NFL Hall of Famer. Some say the best passer of all time, I'll say it right now, the best passer of all time, it is Dan Marino.

Speaker 1 Would you say that you are the most talented NFL player, like between the sidelines, to wear isotona gloves?

Speaker 8 You are OJ.

Speaker 1 Oh, don't ask that question. Yeah, okay.
Bad question. Between the lines.
Don't ask that question.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 23 Sebastian Menescalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming

Speaker 23 sebastian maniscalco it ain't right premieres november 21st streaming on hulu and hulu on disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply

Speaker 1 Okay, if you are listening right now and you have to work July 5th, this is where you should stop because we got more new stuff coming and some old stuff as well.

Speaker 1 Some Blake of the Year preview, but two new Mount Rushmores. So stop right now.
Why don't we give give them some recommendations for podcasts they can try just this once?

Speaker 1 Okay, part of my take, the early years. Yeah, listen to

Speaker 1 our very fourth episode. We should actually start to rebrand the year 2016 as the early tapes.
Our version 1.0. Yeah.

Speaker 10 The underground tapes.

Speaker 1 Unreleased. We should start releasing unreleased stuff.

Speaker 1 Not all of the unreleased stuff. Do we have anything that's just never been released?

Speaker 1 Paud Rodriguez. Pudge Rodriguez.
Maybe we'll just. Yeah.

Speaker 9 You know what we should do?

Speaker 1 Dan Vilz is a Dan Bilzerian.

Speaker 1 So I've got an idea for Dan Bilzerian. What we should do is we should.
Well, we can't. That should be contractually obligated.
No, no, we can sue us for like $10 million. I don't care.

Speaker 1 That'd be great publicity. We'd probably sue us for saying that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What we should do with that one, we should find one person to buy it. Yeah.
Like Skrelly when you get a jail. Yeah.
So just like sell it to one guy for $50,000 and you get the Dan Bilzerian interview.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So actually, you should probably listen to this first Mount Rushmore, then stop it because we're going to do Mount Rushmore of songs of the summer songs, best songs in the summer, not songs of the summer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because that's different.
That would be like going year by year. I have a couple of those.
Yeah, some of those are, I'm sure. Some of those are in there.

Speaker 1 But these are like songs that sound better outside. Yeah.
Sound better when you're drinking together. Some beer sound better when you don't have any response.

Speaker 1 Actually, every song sounds better when you don't have any response. That's why Sunday Night Football Jam is so nice.
But it is specifically...

Speaker 1 Here's how we best explain it. There will not be any radiohead on this Mount Rushmore.
Yes. Right?

Speaker 1 It's going to be songs that you listen to in the summer oh hank's got all his radio head

Speaker 1 a um

Speaker 1 okay so let's here's here is the issue though boys can i address an issue before we start we're about to do two mount rushmores

Speaker 1 we also are time traveling so we haven't taped monday's show yet where we're doing a mount rushmore What is the order that we're going to do Monday's show in? And then what is the next two orders?

Speaker 1 On Monday's show, I went first.

Speaker 6 I went first first on the most.

Speaker 1 So you.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, I went first on Friday's show. Yes, so I go first on Monday's show? No, I went first on Friday's show.
You did? Yeah. So then I go first, because I think it's this way.

Speaker 1 I think we're going this way, right?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 6 It should go big cat for Mondays, and then Tuesday should be PFT.

Speaker 1 Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
So I go first on Mount Roche. We don't have a show on Tuesday.

Speaker 19 No, no, no, but for whatever, this day.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I go first on Monday's show, right? Yep. All right, so PFT, you go first on the first Mount Rushmore, then you go first on the second Mount Rushmore.
Correct. Got it.
Okay. All right, ready.

Speaker 1 Songs, not songs, this number, summer songs. Summer songs.
Summer songs. Number one,

Speaker 1 keep it very simple. Smooth.
Nice. Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas.
20 years ago.

Speaker 1 It feels like it came out yesterday, the way that they play it on every sporting event. Always does.
Always does. Except for hockey.

Speaker 1 It's never an intermission song for hockey. Good.

Speaker 6 Take on that. I will also keep it simple.
A little cliche, if you will, but still bangs. Five o'clock somewhere.

Speaker 1 That's good. Jimmy Buffett.
That's good. All right.
I will go. So I get two now.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 Sublime, Garden Grove, and Ice Cube. It was a good day.
Good choice. Both those.
Throw them on while you're in your car.

Speaker 7 Boom. Nothing better.

Speaker 1 Good choices both.

Speaker 6 I will go with Slightly Stupid, kind of like Sublime, Closer to the Sun, Slightly Stupid.

Speaker 1 Okay. Wait, do we decide if we're going to put any of these songs in this show? I think maybe some clips.
Do we, yeah, clips?

Speaker 1 Oh, instrumentals. We're going to put a Spotify playlist.
We'll do a playlist. And here's the deal:

Speaker 1 if it's not in the actual episodes, because of licensing issues. Yes.
We'll just say that. Exactly.
Okay, so what was your song? Closer to the Sun.

Speaker 1 Okay. Interesting.
Number two. All right, so you have two here.
Why is that interesting? I thought it was an interesting choice. Why?

Speaker 1 I just thought it was interesting. He just thought it was interesting.
I thought it was a very interesting choice. Is it okay? I think that your brain's interesting.
It's fascinating to me.

Speaker 7 Appreciate that. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 No problem. I like to keep it.
I like to mix it up. Yeah.
All right. My second choice is I'm going with Big Pimpin'.

Speaker 1 Big Pimpin' is a song that sounds, it just reminds me of the summer when you hear it. Like the little steel drums.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, dude, doo, doo, doo, doo, ding.

Speaker 1 Any Bob Marley song. But yes, that's not a Bob Marley song.
But I was thinking steel drums that appeared to be Bob Marley. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So my next one is going to be...

Speaker 1 Despacito. Ooh, that's good.
That was a song of the summer. It was a song of the summer.
It was a song of the summer.

Speaker 6 Speaking of songs of the summer, Danza Kaduro.

Speaker 1 Oh, you put that on every playlist that's ever been created. Yes,

Speaker 6 where, and that's where the that's where it belongs.

Speaker 1 I know, I know, I know. Okay, all right, uh, so I got my last two.
I actually have a bunch that I want to talk about after for uh honorable mention. All right, I'm gonna go song three.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna say Almond Brothers, Blue Sky. When that song hits, when you're in the car, oof, nothing better, nothing better.
And then my last pick is going to be a little night summer song.

Speaker 1 So, this this is maybe when the party is ending, and it's that, you know, when you get that like cool, like maybe a little breeze and a summer night, beautiful summer night where the heat, maybe it's hot all day, and then boom, the heat breaks.

Speaker 1 A lot of description going on. Yeah, well, I'm setting the tone here.
Little Bob Seeger, John Austin, night moves. Ooh, night moves is a good one.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. If you're driving in the summer, like late night in the summer, and you just feel get those windows down,

Speaker 1 yeah. Night moves is good.
I would also say Hollywood Hills or Hollywood Nights. Bob Seeger, Hollywood Nights with the windows down is electric.
You just want to scream at the top of your lungs.

Speaker 1 It's so good. Say what you want about Michigan, but that state knows how to do summer.
It does. Okay, Hank, your last pick.

Speaker 6 There are a lot of honorable mention, but I will go with

Speaker 6 Men Down Under.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that's a good one. Okay.
Very nice. That's definitely a middle-of-the-day one.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, all my songs are based off like the beach being like songs you want to hear when you're at the beach.

Speaker 1 So right now I'm agreeing with Hank, and I think it's a great choice. I don't know what it is.
We come from, wait, yeah, oh, land down. Oh, it's men at work.
Men at what it works.

Speaker 1 I knew what you were saying. Okay, what did I say? You said men down under.
That works. That's a different one.
Men down. Totally works.
Yeah. You're thinking about the Dwight Howard episode.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 My last pick is.

Speaker 1 Well, shit.

Speaker 1 I've got it down to two. Oh.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. I'm going to go with.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that was a mean all.

Speaker 1 The German. Summer of 69.

Speaker 1 Summer of 69.

Speaker 1 Summer of 69. Great song.
That's a good song.

Speaker 14 I got my first real sick.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was my fifth choice. I also had on those two honorable mentions, put me in coach.
That's a little cheesy, but you could do that for a song this summer. Maybe if you're like 14.

Speaker 1 It does sound better in the summer. Yes.
You don't want to listen to Put Me In Coach in February. Oh, fuck no.
It's really just the beginning.

Speaker 6 It's just that first, like, before the words start, that first like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, if you play Put Me In Coach, let's say in early December on Spotify, it should send a message to local law enforcement being like, pick this dude up.

Speaker 1 All right, so Liam, when you make the Spotify list, put all the honorable mentions in there, too, so it's not just a 12-song playlist.

Speaker 1 And we should definitely listen to this in like late December. Yeah.
Just sitting around

Speaker 1 when the sun sets at like 4 o'clock in New York City. You know what the Beach Boys used to do when they recorded? They would fill the studio with sand to make them feel like they were at the beach.

Speaker 1 So we should do that in December, just bring a shitload of sand in and rock this play. That would be very healthy.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's go honorable mentions. Hot and her.
Hot and her.

Speaker 1 Summer Girls,

Speaker 1 LFO.

Speaker 1 Are you guys Stevie Wonder fans? Of course. Living for the City? That one's a good one.
Master Blaster, Stevie Wonder, another good one. Summer Wind, Frank Sinatra.

Speaker 1 I know that says Summer in it, but that one's a really good one. Another like evening song.
I hate to be very generic here, but Margaritaville. Yes.
Travis Rice, Great Day to Be Alive.

Speaker 1 Just throw that out there as well. Isn't that Travis Tritt? Travis Tritt.
I said Rice earlier, and they got in the middle of it. I saw that, and I thought maybe it was a new song.
No, I wasn't coming.

Speaker 1 I kept on fucking that up. All Summer Long by Kid Rock because it combines two number one hit songs in order to make like a number six hit song.

Speaker 1 What was the remix Forever Young? Who did that?

Speaker 19 Jay-Z.

Speaker 1 That one, end of summer. August, late August.
There's definitely some late August songs you got to listen to where you're like, man, this summer was a movie.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like high school seniors.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I I was going to say, Forever Young. He's going into freshman year of college.
Forever Young is a big time

Speaker 1 prom scene at the end of a movie. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 What about,

Speaker 1 let's see. Katy Perry, California Girls.
Oh, that's another great one. Katie Perry, fucking anything Katy Perry in the summer.

Speaker 1 I have, oh, so here were my songs of the summer. I tried to remember a few of them.
Fancy, Iggy Azalea. Go watch that video.
We can put that out there again.

Speaker 1 We can re-release my fancy music video with,

Speaker 1 what's his name? Nick Insider. Nick Insider.

Speaker 1 I Got a Feeling. Black Eyed Peace.
That was 2009. The Macarena and Mambo number five.
Macarena. Always play.
Macarena was an ultimate song of the summer. You know what? What about Horses in the Back?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a Song of the Summer right now.
That one will hit this summer. That will, as the kids say, slap.

Speaker 1 Well, pay attention because Pup Punk has a song coming out, I think, next week, if you're listening to this. Oh, wow.
Called Song of the Summer. Should be

Speaker 1 the Song of the Summer. Who plays piano on it?

Speaker 1 Bleep it out.

Speaker 1 Hank, do you have any other ones?

Speaker 6 The only one I had else was Wagon Wheel.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a great one. That's a great one.
That's a very, very, very good one. That one's a good, like, bar song, too.
Gin and Juice. Yep, that's a good one.
Gin and Juice is a very good one.

Speaker 1 I had Allman Brothers Blue Sky in my Mount Rushmore, but like basically anything, Almond Brothers in the summer. Rambling Man.
Yeah, Rambling Man.

Speaker 1 When the first guitar riff hits. Yep.
Porch Song

Speaker 1 by

Speaker 1 Widespread Panic. That's a good one.

Speaker 1 I always clown on everyone who likes Touch of Gray because it is like that's a way you know you're a cop. But it does hit in the summer if you're trying to get some Grateful Dead something upbeat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you're looking at Grateful Dead, I would say like Scarlet Begonias is a good summer song, right? Yeah, Fire on the Mountain, Scarlett Begonias. Yeah.
Boom.

Speaker 5 Scarlet into Fire.

Speaker 1 We can go with some more country music too on there and say Kenny Chesney.

Speaker 1 Anything but mine. You know, that's the same thing.
I mean, the point is, Mal Rushmore

Speaker 1 songs. Well, we're just getting the vibes for the people, dude.

Speaker 1 We're trying to get people something to listen to. It's July 4th.
All right, fine. That was our cue from our producer.
He just talked in our ear. You probably didn't hear it.
We're going to move on.

Speaker 1 And I'm excited for this, Mount Rushmore. So, Hank, do you want to introduce this? Sure.
All right. So, we are getting ready for this show.

Speaker 1 Wait, Liam has no idea what we're about to talk about because he wasn't here. So, we are going to watch his face.

Speaker 6 We are getting ready for the show, and we are going through potential Mount Rushmore. We have a list.
If you have suggestions for Mount Rushmores, send them to PMT Sports SportsBiz.

Speaker 6 We have a long list, but there's surprisingly not a lot to pick from it.

Speaker 1 We've done a lot.

Speaker 6 Send good ones to at PMT Sportsbiz. He will continue to update the list.

Speaker 6 And Big Cat was like, oh, this is for the July 4th episode. We should do something summery or like July 4th-y, America-y.

Speaker 6 And I was looking at the list and I saw pirates, and I was like, oh, Fourth of July, the ocean.

Speaker 1 Pirates. Pirates.
The ocean. Who doesn't think of the independence of America and pirates?

Speaker 6 Yeah, lots of people will be going to like pirate-themed bars.

Speaker 1 What? Pirate-themed bars?

Speaker 10 Yeah, beach bars are pirate-themed, basically.

Speaker 1 Has anyone ever thought, Fourth of July, what am I going to do? Pirate. Yeah, pirate bars.
There will be tons of people with

Speaker 1 going crossbone shirts, apple pie, pirate flags. You don't think people go to the beach and wait, like, oh, look at that.
They put a Jolly Roger on their boat for a joke? Yeah, I've seen that before.

Speaker 1 I've been to a lot of pirate bars. Are you okay, Piquet? Yeah, I'm just laughing.
The fucking pirates. I've been to a shitload of pirate bars.
I don't think I've ever been to a pirate bar at a beach.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 It's just not like when you think of 4th of July, you think of America, apple pie, bodo, pasta.

Speaker 1 Oh, both. Yeah, both.
Both correct.

Speaker 1 Exactly. My point, you just proved my point.
Well, maybe it's

Speaker 1 you haven't been working out, Hank, and you've got a sunken chest. That's why pirates are on your brain.
Gotcha. Gotcha.
That was like 2.7 boobs.

Speaker 1 No, it's actually negative throwride. It's throwride's joke.
It's negative.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I stole it from somebody else. Throw ride, yeah.
That's an old joke, but it would be negative 2.7 because it's a sunken chest, not big boobs. But then his back has boobs.
Yeah, because

Speaker 1 he's got scoliosis. Just a leper.
All right. Hunchback.
Hank, you are starting your Mount Rushmore in honor of July 4th, your Mount Rushmore of Pirates.

Speaker 6 All right. This is going to get contentious, I think.

Speaker 1 I don't think it is. I don't think so.
Anyone's just going to be like, yeah, kid pirate. Cool.
Nice pirate, dude. All right.
Well,

Speaker 6 I'll go with Roberto Clemente.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Okay.
That was good. So I guess I'll go a little bit more

Speaker 1 real pirate here with Johnny Depp, Jack Sparrow. So, there we go.

Speaker 1 I'll take a real pirate off the board. Interesting that Hank chose pirates and then took a joke pick.
I have those pirates. I think for later.
Yeah, they were for later. I was real pirates.

Speaker 1 I'll just say Barry Bonds. Yeah, yeah.
Barry Bonds. Yeah, I was worried.
You guys have your own fucking Mount Rushmore strategies. I have mine.
I know.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I wasn't worried about pirating Roberto Clemente back because I had the first time. Okay.
All right. Barry Bonds, number one.
Captain Hook, number two. Oh, that's a good one.
Captain Hook.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 My number two, I will go with Mike Allstott. He's a buccaneer now.
That's a pirate. And he also

Speaker 1 gave up on the fullbacks. So, yeah, that's right.
New York, we canceled Mike Allstott. All right, Mike Allstott.

Speaker 6 I'll go with Captain Morgan.

Speaker 1 Nice. Good choice.

Speaker 6 And Julian Assange.

Speaker 1 Assanage. Oh, nice.

Speaker 6 Whatever his last name is.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll go with the guy from the movie, I'm the Captain Now. That guy.
I'm the captain. Look at me.
I'm the captain now. Captain Phillips.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But But

Speaker 1 you're going with the Somali pirate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The line, yeah. That became a meme that was lost.
That was a good pick. Yeah, that was a good pick, right? That was a good pick.
I mean, that's what I think.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with Long John Silver. Okay.
I don't know if he was an actual pirate. I think he's just the first.
I think he's a filet of fish.

Speaker 1 Yeah, seafood restaurant guy. Okay.

Speaker 1 Affordable. Very affordable.

Speaker 1 Low-quality cuts of seafood, but great fries.

Speaker 1 And then do I have... How many more do I have?

Speaker 5 You have one more. One more.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 the guy who invented Napster. Oh, nice.
Jean Timberlake. Yeah, Sean.
Sean. Sean Evans.
No, Sean. I want to say Sean White.

Speaker 1 Timberlake. Sean.
Sean Napster. Sean Napster.

Speaker 1 Sean Napster.

Speaker 1 Sean Ulrich. Seani Music.

Speaker 6 Sean Sudo. Sean Apster.

Speaker 1 Sean. Inventor.
Sean.

Speaker 1 Napster.

Speaker 1 Big Sean. Big Sean.

Speaker 1 Sean Parker. Sean Parker.
Right on the tip of our tongue. We almost got it.
All right, my last pick. I'll go with Randall Simon, the pirate who hit the sausage in the head with the baseball bat.
Okay.

Speaker 1 What? I mean, that's an all-time moment. All right.
And link it in because you're probably eating a sausage July 4th and not thinking about pirates.

Speaker 6 I will go with my last pick, Pirates 2. Stagnetes Revenge.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
Classic filling. Great one.
All right. What did we miss? You know what we missed? It was more of an inside joke, Hank.

Speaker 6 I thought you were going to pick your boy Theon because, you know, like,

Speaker 1 he was your favorite. Yeah, I didn't even think about him.
Weak ass. no I didn't like Theon you did I

Speaker 1 well yeah I like Theon I didn't like Reek

Speaker 1 difference

Speaker 1 Andre Barrett Seton Hall pirate I had Dick Vital dude one of our fucking one of my teammates David Girrard ECU pirate yeah well if you're going with

Speaker 1 ECU the porn star DJ what's your name

Speaker 1 shared stage Sean Parker Sean Parker. Yeah.
The porn star DJ. No one picked Blackbeard, the most famous pirate.
I had Blackbeard on my list, but I remembered that I didn't know what Blackbeard did.

Speaker 1 No, I thought Blackbeard was Jack Sparrow, which he might have been. Uh-huh.
So, I don't know. Maybe I get credit for both.
Yeah, David Jones.

Speaker 6 I wrote down David Jones, but I think he's like a bad pirate because he's stuck undersea forever.

Speaker 1 Well, they all died. What about,

Speaker 1 didn't SpongeBob wear a pirate thing?

Speaker 6 No, it was the first, the first shot was a guy, a pirate.

Speaker 1 But he worked that counts. I've seen him wear a pirate hat before.

Speaker 1 SpongeBob? Yes. Yeah.
I have two.

Speaker 1 As huge SpongeBob enthusiasts, we know SpongeBob. SpongeBob is a pirate.
He counts.

Speaker 1 Toucan Sam, is he a pirate or do you just wear the pirate hat?

Speaker 1 Does he wear a pirate hat? I thought so. Maybe not.
I feel like he does. Jason Bay.

Speaker 17 Jason Bay.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Canadian pirate. Andrew McCutcheon.

Speaker 5 Andrew McCutcheon, good one.

Speaker 6 That was my list.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I guess that's...
Nope, Toucan Sam does not wear... I don't know why I thought he was a pirate or had pirate tendencies.
Oh, no, wait. No, that's a...
I'm thinking of Count Chuckula. Never mind.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that was a Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 I mean, you could also go with some Raiders on there, too. Some

Speaker 1 legends of the game. John Madden.
Yeah. Yeah.
We could have. Yeah, Kenny Stadium.
Al Davis.

Speaker 1 Damn. I'm going to just go with Al Davis as my honorable mention.
Fuck. His face was falling off.
Mark Davis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The ultimate pirate.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go. Let's finish off.
So, wait, no, we have two more things, right? Two more things, Hank. So we're going to do our Blake of the Year preview.

Speaker 1 So this is the best of Bortles, Blake Griffin, and Blake Kepka.

Speaker 6 And what is Blake of the Year for maybe new listeners?

Speaker 1 Blake of the Year is coming up. The Takies are coming up.
For everyone who is a new listener, the Takeys are our midsummer awards. They're not the Espies.
The Espies actually ripped us off.

Speaker 1 And one of the awards is Blake of the Year, which was Blake Griffin versus Blake Bortles, who would pick up our phone call faster this year.

Speaker 1 Blake Kepka, are we going to to officially say that he's in the running? Yeah, oh, he's absolutely in the running running. Okay, so he's getting a call.

Speaker 1 Like, the three of them are getting a call, and we'll see who wins. Yep.
And so here is our best of those three Blakes.

Speaker 1 Okay, we welcome on. It's actually our last interview of Super Bowl week.
Well, that's sad. It is sad, but we finish with our best friend in the entire world and the boat.
It is Blake Bortles.

Speaker 1 He's in the back of the van with us.

Speaker 9 I also should say, man of the year nominee.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 It's like everybody that asks, you know, what are you doing this week? It's like, I got to go to Atlanta Super Bowl. They're like, what for? Just man of the year stuff.
What did you do?

Speaker 1 What did you do to get man of the year? I helped out in my community. Okay, well, how do you do that?

Speaker 1 So, well, I have a foundation that supports mentally disabled and first responders, and then they kind of like pick a guy each year.

Speaker 1 And then I guess this is the first year that they brought all 32 representatives. Right.

Speaker 1 Well, I think every team gets a nominee every year, but then they used to only invite the five finalists, right?

Speaker 1 They made it a big tent party.

Speaker 1 And we're still not all that high up on the priority list because me and Kenny Stills rode over together because he won it for Miami, and we both checked in at the same time, and both of us had two full beds in our room.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's tough. King?

Speaker 4 You didn't get the king?

Speaker 1 No, I said, you got a just one big one's fine. And they said, no, you got two full.
That's one big one. That's better.

Speaker 1 I prefer that when I'm in a hotel alone because you got one that is just for like your luggage and your shelf. You throw all your shit out there.
It's pretty much a closet. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's actually the best way to do it. So they really hooked you up.
Yeah, that's nice. You got two beds.
That's, I mean, that's more than the barstool house. So,

Speaker 1 man of the year nominee, helped out the community. But here's the important part.
And PFT, I was just talking to Blake about this outside the van.

Speaker 1 Wait, first, Blake, is there anything you'd like to say to me?

Speaker 1 Oh, thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 What about me? Well,

Speaker 1 how was jail?

Speaker 1 Did you want to text me?

Speaker 5 Oh, no, Blake's not on Twitter anymore. It was my own.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, happy birthday. Thank you.
Your birthday today?

Speaker 1 Oh, happy birthday. Thanks, buddy.
Okay. Are we partying party tonight? Yeah, what's it after? Joint birthday parties.
Hell yes.

Speaker 1 So, Blake told me outside of the van he is going to the Super Bowl because they are trotting all the men of the year nominees out before the game. Now, that's just whatever.
Like, who cares?

Speaker 1 No one's ever thinking about this. Nor is anybody probably paying attention.
Yeah, well, we'll be paying attention because you're in it. Yeah, we'll take pictures of your face on the show.

Speaker 1 Here's the rub, PFT.

Speaker 1 Do you think Blake can wear a hat? We got to go full suit, though. No way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is cold.

Speaker 1 I've gone suit and beanies. It's a dome, you know.
Yeah, but you can still say, yeah, I had to walk over.

Speaker 1 I had to walk over, yeah. Here's a quick suggestion.
Top hat. Is it a fedora top hat? No, no, top hat.
Just top hat. Like top hat, yeah.
Would you imagine if you did?

Speaker 1 Just a yamaka and just cover everything up.

Speaker 1 Do a top hat and a cane, and maybe like a long cigarette. Just

Speaker 1 a dumb and dumber scene. So, what are you going to do? What's the plan?

Speaker 1 You can't

Speaker 1 get your hair.

Speaker 5 Well, see, the good thing, about not lack there of hair is that you don't have to do it.

Speaker 1 Like, I kind of just take my hat off, and it's like, all right, here we go.

Speaker 1 It's not like it's a secret. Right.
Like, I wear a hat for the benefit of other people because, like, I don't like looking at balding heads.

Speaker 1 So that's why I wear a hat because I don't want anybody else to have to look at my balding heads. That's why you're Man of the Year is because that's a public service that you need to do.

Speaker 1 That's kind of just, yeah, a selflessness thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I'm serious. The top hat would be amazing.
Or like a peaky blind. You'd steal the show.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like photo north.

Speaker 1 You'd steal the show.

Speaker 1 So, congrats, though, on Man of the Year nominee.

Speaker 1 Before we do our Wikipedia, we're going to do a Wikipedia that gets everyone ready for the Super Bowl. Where are you at? I don't want to get too in the weeds, but

Speaker 1 are you with the Jaguars? Are you.

Speaker 1 Have you had communication? I don't know how to ask.

Speaker 1 I'm a friend, and I don't know. Yeah, just say, hey, what's your situation? There's not a whole lot of communication going on.

Speaker 1 So I'm kind of just go in and work out and rehab every day.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 And then. So you still have your access card.
Right, which is kind of like how I know.

Speaker 8 So we have a code, right?

Speaker 1 You've got to punch a code in at the front gate, and that's the first thing that goes when you get cut or fired. Okay.
So each morning I show up kind of like, oh, maybe today's the day.

Speaker 1 And it keeps working. So I'm like, they're keeping me around.

Speaker 1 I think so shit if you woke up at like six in the morning to go work out and it was closed. Yeah, I know.
If that happens, it's a possibility that happens. Oh, 100%.
Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, steak, egg, and cheese, bagel. Yeah, right.
Six hash browns. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, so we don't know what's going to happen, but you're going to be playing football, and you're going to be, like we've always said, a minor comeback for

Speaker 1 major. Major comeback.
Do you have any big plans this offseason? Any vacations you're taking?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I'm not a big vacation guy. Like, if I don't have to play football, like, I'm on vacation.
Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
So it's kind of just

Speaker 1 actually reverse that so that, like, for any, now, hopefully everything works out in Jacksonville, but if not,

Speaker 1 let's say

Speaker 1 football is your vacation because you love it so much. Right, right.
Well, yeah, that's also a thing. Right.
Yeah, yeah. Like, you love to work.
Like, it's not work.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm doing what I love, and then when I'm not doing it, I'm on vacation. Right, right.
But you're depressed because you aren't doing

Speaker 1 love. You miss it so much.
Let's go say some cities, and you tell me what you think about these cities. Just hypothetical.
Hypothetical. Okay.
What do you think about Miami? I like Miami. Yeah,

Speaker 5 good football town.

Speaker 5 Good culture down there.

Speaker 1 Good place. They got good fans.

Speaker 1 Good scenery. You realize that if you.
Washington, D.C.

Speaker 1 Big fan. Nation's Capitol.
That's right. Yeah, it is National Capital.

Speaker 1 If you

Speaker 1 somehow went to Green Bay, we would not be friends. Really? Well, now I'm going to rephrase that.
Because you hate Green Bay that much? Yeah, we would be friends.

Speaker 1 I would just hope that you would respect our friendship and be a mole for me in the Packers organization. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'd let you know. Okay, all right.
So then we can see friendship with the battle. They might not let me in meetings as the third string tight end, but

Speaker 1 I'll let you know anything I heard.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. All right, Blake, what's grit for you?

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Grit to me is

Speaker 1 more like an acronym.

Speaker 1 Getting raunchy in the trenches. Oh, okay.
With two T's, G-R-I-T-T. Grit.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just like the junction boys.

Speaker 1 What about getting Raunchy in the Tesla? Because we saw your new fancy California car.

Speaker 1 So Blake's driving an electric car. What's up with that? A Tesla.
A Tesla. So the plan

Speaker 1 was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore.

Speaker 1 So now I just go to the gas station just to buy dip. That's a very

Speaker 1 expensive way to quit dipping, but more power to you.

Speaker 1 I actually thought you were joking when I first saw it.

Speaker 13 I thought it was like you were messing around like, oh, I'm in California. I'm going to rent a Tesla.

Speaker 1 You get a Tesla wanted to fit in.

Speaker 1 But I have a pickup truck back in Jacksonville and I was like I don't really want to bring that out to California right so I figured I'd buy something where I could fit in so have you gone to the gas station do you wait do you how does it you just plug it in at home yeah and there's a charger at the facility so so when you drive to to work to the rams facility do you actually drive or do you just do auto no i literally just get on the highway and like you double click the thing twice and it just drives you all the way so you're just sitting there like scrolling through your phone yeah i kind of check the news and see what's going on

Speaker 1 it beeps like every 60 seconds and you got to touch the wheel and then then it just let you know you're alive. Yeah, you get it.
So you can't take a nap or something.

Speaker 1 Like, eat breakfast in your car on the way to work. You can, yeah.
That's pretty sweet. Tell them how you bought it.
That actually, wait, but hold on.

Speaker 1 Before you tell us how you bought it, that actually seems like the perfect car to be able to dip in. It's perfect.

Speaker 1 You don't have to worry about your hands, like where the bottle is. There's no more like the bottle between your hands.
Yeah, you ended up

Speaker 1 trying to pull one out while you're like mid-driving. So technically,

Speaker 9 you should probably safer.

Speaker 1 Pick it up and try to get it. Very safer.

Speaker 1 You ended up getting like a trip chamber just for dipping that's what the tesla is they should market themselves like that they put out a camo version of the car i think the venn diagram a massey oak tesla yeah the venn diagram of people who dip and people on teslas

Speaker 1 don't touch probably just blake yeah just blake portal standing there all right so hot tell us the story of how you bought it

Speaker 1 so i needed like an suv because i told like i have a truck and like i wanted something like a taho or you know something like that just to drive around and i was kind of looking at websites and then i ended up on the Tesla website and I was like you know design your own so I'm like I'm supposed to see what I can do here and then I got to the last page and there was a buy now button and I was like well I got to hit this

Speaker 1 I got a call immediately like hey congratulations on your Tesla purchase like a naked issues yeah right

Speaker 1 customize my own and then yeah so I guess that's kind of how they're doing it now so did you have to like enter a credit card number for the buy it now button or it was just like on your honor

Speaker 1 immediately called me it was just like I was sitting over the the wiring instructions oh my god all right

Speaker 1 i guess we got one so there's no negotiation as far as the price goes no no there was none

Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on very special guest we're in his home his rented home in long island it's brooks kepka he is the u.s open 2017 2018 champion and also the pga champ return champion right so you're trying to defend your crown here this weekend at beth page black and i want to start with the most important question.

Speaker 1 You have three majors, you're very good looking, you got muscles, you got the whole fucking tan and everything. What's your problem?

Speaker 18 I got no problem.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, we got a problem.

Speaker 18 Maybe you got one problem, Brandall.

Speaker 1 Okay, yes, we'll get to him. Brandle Chambly.

Speaker 18 I figured that might come around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but seriously, like, you need,

Speaker 1 we're going to start a whole rebrand of Brooks Kepka on this show. You are too perfect.
So, we need to figure out, like, give us your biggest weakness to start this.

Speaker 5 My biggest weakness.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 19 Reality TV.

Speaker 1 That's not a weakness. You watch reality TV

Speaker 1 strength. Real Housewives? You're a real housewives.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I've definitely watched it.

Speaker 1 You got skinny recently. I did.
That pissed off America. That was really interesting going into the Masters because people were mad at you that you lost weight.

Speaker 18 I know. I don't get that.

Speaker 1 They were not fat. You know what everyone else is trying to do? Everybody was just like, I wish Brooks would put on 30 pounds and get back to like his age.
How much weight did you lose?

Speaker 1 I was like 30 pounds. What was the plan behind that?

Speaker 18 I just wanted to look good.

Speaker 1 That was it? Yeah. You just want to look good for the gram? Yeah, well, yeah.
Yeah. If you got a photo shoot, you might as well.

Speaker 1 So you actually lost power, though, in your drive, right? Yeah. And we're not golf guys, but we'll ask a couple golf.
We'll sprinkle a couple golfers. Is that bad to lose power on your drive?

Speaker 18 I mean, it's not good.

Speaker 1 It wouldn't be long. When you noticed it, like, were you like, what's going on here? I need to start eating again? Yeah, well, yeah.

Speaker 18 Once we got everything done, squared away, all the photo shoots done, we

Speaker 18 I definitely ate like a champ. I know that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 18 You got back to cheeseburgers and pizza.

Speaker 1 Did you actually have photo shoots oh yeah so you lost weight yeah for paying to look good yeah yeah did you who doesn't want to look good did you stop working out after yes huh okay

Speaker 1 definitely working out before how much do you bench these days I don't know I haven't benched in a long time it's been like six weeks really that's a really long time that's a really long time that's great though I heard that you used to be able to put up 315 yeah I could how many times just once oh okay I also heard that you used to work out sometimes after rounds is that true yeah before or after.

Speaker 1 Isn't that weird, though? Like, if you're lifting weights before you go out on the course, doesn't that affect...

Speaker 1 I feel like if I do three tricep extensions, I can't shoot a basketball for like a week afterwards.

Speaker 18 They look better in the shirts, though. No? Your schmediums?

Speaker 1 Your schmediums.

Speaker 1 That's on my list as well.

Speaker 1 So wait, I want to go back because

Speaker 1 golf is one of those sports that everyone always thinks, like, oh, you know, like the fat guys can play. It's, you know, Phil Mickelson back in the day.
Now it's completely different.

Speaker 1 You guys train like you're in the NFL or like NBA. We're not that big.
But are you, what are you training, bro?

Speaker 18 You guys have had plenty of NFL guys.

Speaker 1 There's no reason to. But what's your training regimen like in the offseason? Like, are you training every single day?

Speaker 18 Yeah, in the offseason, yeah. I mean, you might as well.
What else are you going to do? I'm not playing golf. I've got better things to do.

Speaker 1 Oh, how long do you go without playing golf in the offseason?

Speaker 1 I'll go six weeks.

Speaker 18 That's really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. When you get back out on the course after six weeks, do you notice like a major, major difference in how you're playing? Yeah.
really.

Speaker 1 Do you give yourself that break more mentally just so you're not going to be able to do it? Yeah,

Speaker 18 I'd rather be on the boat drinking

Speaker 18 out, doing what everybody else is doing.

Speaker 1 You know, that like everybody else, they do the exact opposite where they go out to play golf to get away from stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's their mental break.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You're not helping the whole like you're too perfect narrative that you got going. Yeah, so you're getting ready for opening round on Thursday, Wednesday night.

Speaker 1 What is your do you have a pattern that you do? Do you have, I guess.

Speaker 18 I just try to be in bed by like 10.30, but other than that, I got nothing.

Speaker 1 Hmm. Yeah.

Speaker 18 It's just whatever, whatever.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm not sure. I'm trying to find something.

Speaker 1 What would you say that we could make fun of you most easily for besides the reality TV thing? The Thong Shmoo.

Speaker 1 Yes, the Ooh.

Speaker 18 Yeah. That was a good one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The Thong photo.
How about the Thong.

Speaker 18 I was trying so hard to be an Instagram model.

Speaker 1 It just backfired so bad.

Speaker 1 What about your logo sucks?

Speaker 1 Sorry. I'm getting a new one.
Yeah. Getting a new one.
Are you doing it? Getting a new one. Good.
Yeah. See, there we go.
We found one. I saw it and I was like, what's this? It's just a B? And like,

Speaker 18 I got a new one coming soon.

Speaker 1 So what's the new one look like? I'll show you later. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Show me one right now.

Speaker 18 I don't have it on me now.

Speaker 1 I don't have my phone. Nobody.
All right, so you fixed the one thing that I could say with that. Yeah, we're getting a little better.

Speaker 1 You have a very South African sounding name. I know.

Speaker 18 I want to hear you say it one time.

Speaker 1 It's so satisfying to say. Brux Kipke.
Yeah. It's way cooler.
I know.

Speaker 18 I've heard it a thousand times. I just want to hear it in person.

Speaker 1 You should be South African. There'll be people who listen to this interview and be like, wait, what? He's not.
Yeah. that's true.

Speaker 1 No, it's South African.

Speaker 1 A lot of people, they were telling me that during the Masters, when they were doing a behind-the-scenes thing with you, or they were discussing you, they were shocked and they lost bets with their friends because they were hanging out.

Speaker 1 They're like, no, he's from South Africa.

Speaker 1 He's literally.

Speaker 18 It's actually funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Bruce Kipka.
Say it one time. Bruce Kipka.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It rolls off the tide.

Speaker 1 Let's do fixing golf. So why do you think golf, like, what do you think golf needs to improve on to get better? Like in terms of you're out there for five and a half hours.

Speaker 18 I mean, how bad is that? Nobody wants to spend five and a half hours out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I mean, unless you're like getting away from your wife or like trying to get away. Right.
You know, that'd be great. But other than that.

Speaker 1 So how do you speed up the game?

Speaker 18 Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes.

Speaker 1 I like that a lot. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 18 Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker.

Speaker 1 Yes. And I always get to like 11 and I'm like, this is.

Speaker 18 It gets boring from like hole five to 12. You're just like, where am I right now?

Speaker 1 You are bored during a tournament? Yeah. Five through 12? Yeah.
I literally can't tell you what like, what happened during those holes.

Speaker 18 You kind of like black out.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh,

Speaker 5 everything's repetitive.

Speaker 1 It's true, though, because when you golf, there is like the first three holes where you're like, okay, I feel good today.

Speaker 1 And then like right around 14, you're like, all right, I got a few left.

Speaker 18 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 And then anything in between, it's just whatever.

Speaker 1 Can I get a hot dog after nine? Yeah, exactly. He's just looking

Speaker 1 at everybody getting drunk. What about using a cart?

Speaker 18 I'd love to use a cart. How great would that be?

Speaker 1 That would be sick having people driving carts. Bailey's using a cart this week.

Speaker 18 You can see that.

Speaker 1 How awesome is that? Yeah, that is pretty.

Speaker 1 He's just commandeered the beer cart. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just kicked the girl out of your beard. So, what can they do to make it better for the audience? Like, what? Because you did.
What was your exact quote? That golf is not fun enough or be golf fun.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 golf sucks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 According to me. Yeah.
Real question about your swing. I read that book on Tiger, and it seemed like every few years you just completely remake his swing.
Yeah. Go from scratch.
Have you done that?

Speaker 18 No.

Speaker 18 You just do. I literally have two swing thoughts, and that's it.
I just hit it and go.

Speaker 1 That's the thoughts? Yeah. Hit it and go.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Literally, just keep it short and swing it hard.

Speaker 1 I think that's it. I think what we found is we found the Blake borders of golf.
Yeah. Like,

Speaker 1 it's no high-speed.

Speaker 1 No, that's, it's in, but you are a guy, a normal guy who plays golf really, really well. Yeah.
Blake is a normal guy who's an exceptional quarterback. Yeah.
Exactly. You're right.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that comparison.
So when you're hitting a shot, obviously you have different shots in your bag. You hit a draw, you hit a fade, right? I'm guessing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You hit them both, yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, I just try to stick to one because I know what I'm doing on one of them, but yeah.

Speaker 1 But when you get up there and you're like, okay, which one's better for you?

Speaker 19 I fade it, yeah.

Speaker 18 I hit it left to right.

Speaker 1 Okay, so when you get up there and you're trying to fade it, you just think hit and go, or do you have to like tell yourself, do you have to walk yourself through the process and think, okay, I have to aim there.

Speaker 18 There's no thought process. It's just like aim left and just swing hard and it'll come back to wherever you want it.

Speaker 1 Your cat is just like aim at that thing and then you do that thing.

Speaker 18 Yeah, it'll just be like finish it there. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll try. I mean, you're gonna,

Speaker 5 one of two things is gonna happen. It's either gonna end up there or it's not.

Speaker 18 So

Speaker 1 it's either gonna be really good or bad.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, yeah, I'm just starting because I feel like maybe we haven't interviewed enough golfers, but they have like all these technical, like, oh, this is what I'm trying to do on this shot, but you're just like, I'm just up there just mashing.

Speaker 5 What's the point of thinking of something else?

Speaker 1 I think I figured you out. I think you just, you don't like golf very much.
And so you're always just like, I want to get the fuck off this course in the least amount of time possible.

Speaker 1 So I'm just going to take

Speaker 1 a very few amount of strokes and get home. Yeah, exactly.
That's a good way to put it. Yeah, and sometimes win the tournament.
Yeah, occasionally.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then you have to stick around and collect a check. It's a whole big thing.
Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a pain in the ass.

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 1 Because you just want to get to the bar.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend.

Speaker 1 Best friends? Our best, my best friend. Best friend, recurring guest, Blake Griffin, nominee for Blake of the Year, coming up soon.
Couldn't get the Blakes together, but we will eventually.

Speaker 1 Thanks for inviting us over to LA.

Speaker 8 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 8 Anytime you want to come to a city, just let me know.

Speaker 1 Okay, really? Any city?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, for the most part,

Speaker 1 you got a few places.

Speaker 1 Detroit.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 8 done.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 1 Can we house sit in?

Speaker 8 LA, you're here. Yeah, if you want.
Do you have a house sitter?

Speaker 4 No, I don't have a house sitter.

Speaker 1 Oh, you should. Is it empty?

Speaker 8 I got somebody that goes by, you Checks it.

Speaker 8 You know, I greased the police a little bit.

Speaker 8 They go by

Speaker 1 once a day. I got a question for you right on the bat.
Are you intimidated that we have another Blake emerging for Blake of the Year in Brooks Kepka?

Speaker 1 A lot of buzz.

Speaker 1 Huge buzz. A lot of buzz.

Speaker 8 Blake and I,

Speaker 8 when you've been doing this for so long,

Speaker 8 I don't know. You see guys come and go, and

Speaker 8 you hope that they can bring out some competition and and um you know make things interesting but i mean we're we're veterans yeah you've been at blake all your life i yeah for 30 years now yeah have you seen 30?

Speaker 1 oh you did happy birthday

Speaker 1 thank you yeah have you ever thought about like maybe teaming up with blake and and taking on the newcomer together

Speaker 8 uh take uh teaming up with which blake with blake not broke take on not bro

Speaker 1 like a blake union yeah like a little like a little what they do like the little packs and uh

Speaker 1 yeah survivor yeah

Speaker 1 we should we should actually do have them vote

Speaker 1 and you can't vote for yourself yeah a little intrigue

Speaker 1 because if you get rid of blake right away right well with only three people you're really in a tight pickle there's a there was a part of me like a real conversation that was had like hey should i just name my upcoming child blake

Speaker 1 just steal it but it's not a good name

Speaker 1 so that it's like it would be for a joke but then the joke would be like hey you have to be named blake for your whole life.

Speaker 8 I don't know that many Blakes.

Speaker 1 I know two. I actually know three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have a good friend. Two of them are professional athletes.
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you grew up playing lacrosse, you probably know several more Blakes. That's true.
All right, so there's a private school.

Speaker 1 Steve Blake.

Speaker 8 Steve Blake.

Speaker 1 There's another one. World champion.

Speaker 1 Blake Shelton. Oh.
Blake Lively.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 All right, so that was us doing the Blakes. All right, let's do a real question.
Ready? How's the knee?

Speaker 8 Knee's great.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Knee's great.
Yeah. I saw you just wheeling yourself up and down the court in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 That was impressive.

Speaker 1 You were mucking it, though. Yeah,

Speaker 1 admitted.

Speaker 1 They didn't have to wrap you from your ankle to your ball. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You had the biggest fucking knee brace on I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 It was my other knee.

Speaker 1 I put the brace on the good knee. And everybody's like, wow, he's really doing that.
Yeah, no, that was actually impressive. I mean, credit to you.
I mean, as impressive as a sweep could be.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Well, listen, Milwaukee's lucky.
We played him four times in the regular season, lost all four. But, like, I guarantee you, if we play a ninth.

Speaker 1 Has Kevin Durant been in touch with you about maybe coming to Detroit?

Speaker 8 No, not yet. But I was letting his season get over with, and then I'm sure he loves Detroit.

Speaker 1 I'm sure.

Speaker 8 Did you? I don't know for a fact. Chris Broussard said he loves Detroit.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, that's a good feud.

Speaker 1 Whose side do you take on that one?

Speaker 1 Not Chris Broussard. Why? Brew crew.

Speaker 1 It means that you're part of a select group of news breakers that break news first and ask questions later.

Speaker 8 What was the shirt that we did?

Speaker 1 Brew crew. I just did a phone.

Speaker 1 It's wonky-eyed,

Speaker 1 and then it's just got a bunch of MSP

Speaker 1 all over the place, and I sold like a hundred of them.

Speaker 8 I can't go with that.

Speaker 1 I can't go with that.

Speaker 1 You know what you should do is right after the season's over, just tweet eyeballs at Kevin Grant. Or just eyeballs in general.
Oh, yeah. You can just do that.

Speaker 8 yeah just start yeah now you can free agency time you can start getting cryptic yes and just firing off just the most random I think I'll I think we should pick like three emojis that I tweet every

Speaker 1 every day leading up to free agency well let's do this when before we put out this podcast can you tweet I'll we'll text you before the podcast comes out the day before can you just tweet eye emojis and then everyone be like what is he doing what is he doing and then he listens to this and you're like oh he's we're literally just punking you right now like you've just gotten to this part of the podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You thought that Blake Griffin was doing something crazy on the street? What's up when horse? We are just idiots sitting here right now planning this.
And it worked.

Speaker 1 He walked right. He walked right.

Speaker 1 You idiots.

Speaker 1 You idiots. God damn it.
That was good. Fuck.
Dude,

Speaker 1 the winter report wrote a story about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys are idiots. One story, they did a slideshow about it.
What does this mean? Blake Griffin, eyeballs.

Speaker 8 Oh, it's really a segment like no one cares.

Speaker 1 It doesn't get retweeted.

Speaker 8 We will always get it. Everybody retweeted.

Speaker 1 What are you doing

Speaker 1 training-wise for Blake of the Year? Because it's coming up. It's this summer.

Speaker 1 And it's basically based on who picks up the phone call first.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I think

Speaker 8 mostly just response time.

Speaker 8 So I just, you know, a couple hours, I'll just have people call me.

Speaker 8 I send out a little text, like a group text. Hey, guys, let's go.

Speaker 1 Thumb exercises? And you start to get it.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and it's all just like, it's all just, so I work partially like if the phone's down and I have to swipe, and then partially if I'm on the phone and you got to hit the green first quickly.

Speaker 8 I mean, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So it's, yeah, you know, that if you win, that's going to be top of the list on your Wikipedia page in terms of like the award sections.

Speaker 8 Blake of the year. That's fine.
There's so many people.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 8 who was it? Archie DiNachino.

Speaker 1 I don't know how to say his last name.

Speaker 8 Today, somebody's shooting free throws and we line up and he goes, hey man, good luck on Blake of the Year.

Speaker 8 So shout out on the board.

Speaker 1 Ryan. That's funny.
That's hilarious. The first thing I noticed about you when you walked in the room was your beard.

Speaker 1 Like me and you kind of have a nice little beard thing going on between the two of us right now. Are you lumber sexual? Now that you moved up to

Speaker 1 not Minnesota, but Michigan. Yeah, Michigan.
It's all like the mitten. Lumber sexual.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Lumber sexual. Yeah.
Can I get like a full definition?

Speaker 1 Do you wear more flannel? Use it in a sentence.

Speaker 1 Wow, you really scarfed down those pancakes this morning. That's very lumber sexual of you.

Speaker 8 I do love pancakes.

Speaker 1 Okay. Wow, wow, Blake, why are you fucking that tree? That's very lumber sexual of you.

Speaker 1 I like trees

Speaker 1 as friends.

Speaker 1 Big tree guy. Yeah, Blake.
How come your mattress is made out of brawny paper towels and they're all still in the wrapper mode?

Speaker 8 I guess I am a lumber sexual.

Speaker 1 Do you think you're ripping off James Harden? You're shooting threes. You got the beard.

Speaker 8 I don't know. It's just kind of, I like to put my own twist on things.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Who's your best friend not on your team?

Speaker 8 In the league? Not on my team in the league. Um,

Speaker 8 Chandler Parsons, okay, known him since I was still in the league, yeah, he's with Memphis.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it. Uh, who's your biggest enemy not on your team?

Speaker 8 Biggest enemy.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 8 that's tough. I don't, like, if you asked me, like, in my younger days, like,

Speaker 8 I feel like I would have had a good answer. Now, like, I feel like I like get along with everybody a lot better.

Speaker 1 You hate someone,

Speaker 1 Chris Paul.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 You guys are buddies? Yeah. Great friends.
Okay, there's a headline. Blake Griffin and Chris Paul have squashed their beef,

Speaker 1 their huge feud, and now they're friends again.

Speaker 8 All thanks to this podcast.

Speaker 1 All thanks to this podcast. I love that.
I got an easy question for you here. Where do you stand on the former NBA player Hey Dudelu and his support of Turkish president Erdogan?

Speaker 1 Especially like how he's trying to kill Enos Canter. That's got to be weird, right?

Speaker 8 Boy, that is a

Speaker 1 great question. That is a great question.

Speaker 1 I think that there was some sort of Turkish intelligence unit that got him stuck in that elevator. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 It's kind of weird. That would have been a good.

Speaker 1 It would have been good for sports blog business. Definitely would have had some takes about that.

Speaker 8 A lot of takes. Turk.
I played with Turk for like a year and a half.

Speaker 1 Great guy. Did he ever give you any indication that he was an agent of a foreign government?

Speaker 8 No, no. No.

Speaker 8 No. Okay.
No, he didn't.

Speaker 8 I haven't haven't seen the said interview. Did it come out today?

Speaker 1 No. No, he's just been very supportive of the

Speaker 1 interview that

Speaker 1 Cantor's like in fear of his life. Actually, you know what?

Speaker 8 No, Spencer Hawes sent me like a

Speaker 1 YouTube video. A video.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 A reputable link.

Speaker 8 He sent me like a preview of some interview he just did on ESPN or something.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? I think it came out this morning. Cantor? E60? Does that come out on Sunday? Yes.
Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 8 Well, I don't watch ESPN, so.

Speaker 1 Oh, there we go. Oh, that was a little fist pelvic.

Speaker 1 Okay, last up,

Speaker 1 because everyone was obsessed with it for so long. What is this, Hank? Game of Thrones mashup of one-liner takes? Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 6 It's just like, I mean, it's just the, I just cut up like the six episode recaps of just one-liners. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Strong. Perfect.
Are they good? Are they good? They're good recaps?

Speaker 6 Yeah. I mean, you saying Stannis was like Bill Belichuk killing his daughter.

Speaker 1 There's some takes. Some hot takes.
Hot takes. Okay, so here's our mashup of Game of Thrones takes.

Speaker 1 You know what? I might watch Game of Thrones this summer. Yeah.
Okay. I might just get back into it.

Speaker 1 Knowing how bad season eight was. I need.

Speaker 1 Okay, so here it is. And then we will see everyone on Sunday back with our regular show.
We'll be back in studio.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to try to get Christian Yelich on the phone for a big Monday night. That's coming up fat.

Speaker 1 Talk about Sunday scaries after a week off

Speaker 1 and then homerun derby. We might have to eat each other's asses.
Like, I'm going to be closing my eyes, and all I'm going to see is a hairy butthole. That's all.
It's tough. It's not on the board.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'm not even going to watch porn between now and then because there's a chance that I might see a butthole.

Speaker 1 You want to get extra horny for it?

Speaker 1 No, I think

Speaker 1 I'm going porn-free because I'm thinking. No fap before you eat my ass.
No fap. No fap.

Speaker 1 All right, here it is. Game of Throne takes.
Well, instead of Monday reading for the next few weeks, we're going to do Game of Thrones recap because it's the hottest show.

Speaker 1 Red Wedding was when that lady got stabbed in her uterus, right?

Speaker 1 Her tum-thum. Yeah.
Ouch doubt. It seems to me like incest shouldn't be a big deal in this show because

Speaker 1 for such like a small community of characters. Big come up for the state of Alabama because it's normalized everything.
Yeah, everyone's fucking everyone's sister. It's just like whatever.

Speaker 1 It shouldn't be so stigmatized. It's weird because at first, when I started watching it, I was like, this is gross.
Cersei and Tyra

Speaker 1 Jamie are fucking all the time. And then like Cersei just blows them.
And I'm like, oh, whatever. Yeah, they're boyfriend and girlfriend.

Speaker 1 The whole North, like, the Starks, the Wildlings, the Nike, the Army of the Dead, they're all basically offensive linemen on like the Bears and the Packers. I love it.

Speaker 1 And then that Dothraki guy that looks like Stephen Adams, he seemed cool, but he died. Died.
Cal Drago. Yeah.
Big time dead. Fuck Stannis Baratheon.
That guy sucks.

Speaker 6 I liked him a lot. Up until he's born.

Speaker 1 Oh, you liked when he burned his daughter? Up until he's burned. 12-year-old daughter? That's like Belichick shit.
He's got the blood.

Speaker 1 You want to get rid of your daughter one season too soon than one season too late. The many-faced god is like T-1000 when she's running after Arya.
That little girl. Is that like the calculator?

Speaker 1 No, no. T-1000 is the guy from Terminator, dude.
The TI-83.

Speaker 1 The cop that runs really fast and he just keeps running and it's like, what the fuck is going on? Mike, you're thinking of drug wars. Yeah.
I haven't seen Terminator.

Speaker 1 What's up with everyone getting their dick cut off and how do they pee?

Speaker 1 That's a good question. Jon Snow was totally fine.
Like, he got the news that he's actually fucking his aunt, and he was like, I don't want to be the king.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, but dude, you're fucking your aunt.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then he just didn't care.
Yeah. I mean, listen, in this day and age, why would you? It's all over the front page of Pornhub, anyways.
It's true. It's true.

Speaker 1 What it showed me is, like, a city under siege where everything's on lockdown, that becomes a giant locker room. Yeah.
So, like, all is fair. Like, there's that one, the beefy red-haired guy.
Torment.

Speaker 1 Torment, who just was trying to get laid and drink titty milk all the time. He's Jim Harbaugh.
Yeah, he was just

Speaker 1 sucking that giant's breast milk out of the horn. What What a story.
And just trying to have sex with anybody.

Speaker 1 The whole city is just locker room talk. Jamie is a woke liberal.
He knighted Sir Brianne. He's a white knight.
That was just a flexible tour. He was literally white-knighted.

Speaker 1 Big-time white knight.

Speaker 1 Can you believe it?

Speaker 1 A knight? Oh, female knight in my lifetime? George. Could never happen.
Joining the legendary warriors such as

Speaker 1 Sean Connery, Vic Jagger. Who else has been knighted? Ben Kingsley? Yep.
Prince. Prince.
How many times do you think Jorah has jerked off to Khaleesi

Speaker 1 since

Speaker 1 thousands?

Speaker 1 Seven months. She's been following Khaleesi Daenerys around and being like her right-hand man, but he secretly just wants to fuck her.
Oh,

Speaker 1 her hand. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. But she's like, no, dude.
You're too old to have her.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's been with her, and she's had like seven boyfriends.

Speaker 1 And that's her perfect seasons of friends. She's playing that exactly right.
Like, get his testosterone all the way up, making him him be horny all the time. Right.

Speaker 1 That's what you want your defender to be. Right.
So he's just been jerking it to her, like, every single time he's off camera, and now he's going to die

Speaker 1 without ever feeling it. Without ever feeling a woman's warmth.
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 And it's kind of funny what Game of Thrones does to your brain, where it's like the 22-year-old girl that you saw grow up, you're like, no, don't fuck.

Speaker 1 And then the aunt and nephew, and then the brother and sister, you're like, fuck yes, that's hot.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're back. Battle of the Winterfell.
The battle that no one could see. Yeah, in my opinion, shows that take place on a visual medium, you should be able to watch them.

Speaker 1 But wait, PFT, you don't understand the Night King.

Speaker 1 The whole point of him is he acts in a way to make everything confusing, except for the fact I still would like to be able to see a TV show while watching it. It was a deeper meaning than that.

Speaker 1 All I took away from the Night King, he fucking loves cocaine. Night King, honestly, biggest showboater of all time.
Like, bro, you were walking so slow to try to win that game.

Speaker 1 He, he, Deshaun Jackson, dropped it right before the end zone. He's like the Mr.
Miyagi of bad guys. Insane.

Speaker 1 He just, all he does is he stands totally still, and then when you charge at him, he like waits the last second. Just goes, hey, hey, hey.
Yeah, he's Steven Segal. Yep.
Fighting all those guys.

Speaker 1 Aikido.

Speaker 1 The White Walkers. So about their fighting style.
They're dumb as shit. They're like, they're super aggressive, but they're dumb as shit.

Speaker 1 They're like the Cincinnati Bengals defense of whatever, Westeros or whatever.

Speaker 1 They basically are, I mean, they're all just running, you know, it's like basically playing, they play, they fight like a bunch of like seven-year-olds play basketball.

Speaker 1 Like, everyone runs to the ball.

Speaker 1 And no one's spacing anything out, and everyone's like running around overless. Or like, or like seven-year-olds playing soccer.
It's like 22 kids all in one corner, like, yo, maybe space.

Speaker 1 One of you can score a goal instead of all going after the same people all at once. My best performance is Theon.

Speaker 1 Fucking. What? Dude, Theon

Speaker 1 fought his ass off. Are you serious right now? He took off.
What's the problem with Theon. He protected Bran.
He fought his ass off. That was the worst attempt to kill him.
That doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Bran basically was like, at least Theon Snow, you got no chance.

Speaker 1 You know who's worse, hey?

Speaker 1 Dude, here's the name that's worse. Jon Snow thought he could just yell at a dragon and kill it.

Speaker 1 What was that at the end? When he's like, I'm just going to stand up and just talk sternly to this dragon. And Arya saved his ass.
But like, Jon Snow had no plan. He was just running right.

Speaker 1 He was doing classic Jon Snow. I can fight a million people and I'll be fine.
They probably racked up, what, like 50, 60 bodies? Easy. All without a dick.

Speaker 10 How are you going to prepare for the battle of your life and only bring like 20 arrows?

Speaker 1 Dude, he had a lot of arrows. Tell me that.
Tough. Tell me that.
Tough to do it. All right.
Tell me that.

Speaker 1 The Dragons really, like, dude, the Dragons were like a really good running back that just kept on going out of bounds. Like, get in the game.
Run north south. They were Sean Alexander.

Speaker 1 Keep the shit out of someone. They just would come, they'd go, they'd come.
Oh, yeah, so there's a little bit of turbulence and it's bad

Speaker 1 visibility out there. Just go light some shit on fire.
At one point, they like flew above the clouds and just hung out. That was LaDania Tomlinson jumping up and down on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 Cruising Phillips Rivers was out there with a torn ACL. Let's see, what else? What else did I write down?

Speaker 1 Theon Redemption, which Hank totally disagrees with, was the worst take he's ever had in his entire life. I mean, Bran did say you're a good man.

Speaker 6 Brand was basically like, all right, Theon, you're done.

Speaker 1 Bran, what is Bran's deal?

Speaker 1 Where does Brand go from here?

Speaker 6 They never really told us what the Night King did, like, what Bran was doing. They kind of, like, they built this whole thing up for eight seasons and, like, never really explained it.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of bodies.

Speaker 1 Subdragon. Meanwhile, back up in the castle, Kyburn did his best impression of a Netflix documentary and got thrown down a staircase.

Speaker 1 The hound took on the mountain like a Saint Bernard as the two brothers dueled to the death in a scene surely ghostwritten by Cersei's main overrated archer, Aaron Rogers.

Speaker 1 And folks, put out an APB for Aria Stark, because stop me if you've heard this before. But But a famous colors on the run riding a slow-moving white prom car.

Speaker 1 I did like how they brought out the book, and they're like, what's this book called? Oh, it's the book. It's Fire and Ice.
It's George R.R. Martin.
It's Samuel Tarley.

Speaker 1 Like, the whole thing was cheesy as fuck. And then they're sitting around like

Speaker 1 the ending of Seinfeld sitting in the jail. You know, where they're all sitting around the table at King's Landing, like, ah, well, we got to get more wheat for the winter.

Speaker 1 Alright, you're on that, Bran. Oh, okay.
Well,

Speaker 1 someone's got to figure out a new fucking shitter because that one blew up with the dragon fire.

Speaker 1 It turned into them playing Sim City around the table at the end.

Speaker 1 They're like, okay, we gotta build the electric power plant, but make sure that it's not too close to the

Speaker 1 residential neighborhoods. Our roads are kind of fucked up.
Anyone want to do some paving?

Speaker 1 Where's the dragon? Oh, it's not here. Okay, good.
Move on. Have we seen it? Oh, yeah, we saw it flying east.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, cool.
People are mad. That's it.
Into a giant net. That'd actually be a pretty sweet way to travel.
Just load yourself into a traduage and fire yourself into a giant net.

Speaker 6 Yeah, It'll be amazing that people, people, I think book readers are trying to just speed this into existence because they think that George Martin finished the books and he's just been waiting for the show to end and he's just going to drop.

Speaker 1 This is the problem with the internet. We get too into it and start doing these theories and none of them sort of be right.
I mean he's got to finish his books eventually.

Speaker 1 He should stick to his books. No, he doesn't.
He's got good sports tastes. Yeah, he does.
And he wears those stupid hats. Like he wants to be a train conductor or something.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah, it looks like a train conductor in a dropkick Murphy's music video.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Great week 19. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 We're talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say. I'm fading away.

Speaker 1 The days is another day to find a new shine.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Shine

Speaker 1 coming for your love of me.

Speaker 1 Shine.

Speaker 1 Take me.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 yours.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 know

Speaker 1 that it's another go.

Speaker 1 All the things that I say

Speaker 1 feel.

Speaker 1 Just play my worry away.

Speaker 1 All the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 Shine away.

Speaker 1 Love and coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Shy away.

Speaker 1 Love and coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Say

Speaker 1 on me.

Speaker 1 Drink on me. Dave.

Speaker 1 Drink on me. I'll be

Speaker 1 yours.

Speaker 1 Electric

Speaker 1 only.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Drink on me. I'll let you.

Speaker 1 drink on me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 drink on me,

Speaker 1 drink on me.