Rams QB's Jared Goff And Blake Bortles, NBA Finals And SCF Live Watch
We're back in NYC and the NBA Finals are set. We live watch Stanley Cup Final Game 1 (2:27 - 4:50). Favorite story lines going into Raptors vs Warriors and we're rooting for maximum chaos (4;50 - 15:37). Who's back of the week including Lacrosse and people doing weird stuff on twitter after celebrities die (15:47 - 30:48). Rams QB's Jared Goff and Blake Bortles join the show and we talk about the Super Bowl, what the QB room is like this year, how Blake bought a 160,000 car to try and quit dip, and tons more (30:48 - 64:41). Segments include This League Kawhi's sisters instagram, Dad to Dad Lebron lets Bronny Jr on instagram, Bad Visual Kusnetsov doing coke, Hank Hot in the Streets - tiers, and Monday Reading from a guy who has a ton of sex.
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Transcript
Speaker 1
Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Speaker 2 Aldi is now on Uber Eats. So whether your fridge is empty and you're too tired to shop, or you just ran out of essential ingredients, don't worry, we got you.
Speaker 2 Get 40% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats with code New Aldi25. Orders $30 or more, save up to $25, and it's 1231, see out for details.
Speaker 1
On today's Pardon My Take, we have have our good friends Jared Goff and Blake Bortles, LA Rams. We taped at Jared's house last week.
Very fun conversation with them.
Speaker 1
Blake Bortles, all-time story about how he ended up owning a Tesla. We talk NBA Finals.
We got who's back of the week.
Speaker 1 We have Dad to Dad, Bad Visual, and a Monday reading, a pack show, a Monday reading on a Tuesday, a pack show for you to get you back in the groove after Memorial Day weekend.
Speaker 3 When cool creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.
Speaker 3 Now in the street, there is violence.
Speaker 3 And then I love the song of perfect done, done.
Speaker 3 Low place behind a low-washing.
Speaker 3 And then I can't aim all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
Speaker 3 And then we'll take it higher.
Speaker 3 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
Speaker 1 It's part of my tape presented by Bar School Sports.
Speaker 1
Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App. Go download the Cash App right now.
Put in the code BarsTool. You can get $5 to the ASPCA to save some animals.
Speaker 1
Today is Tuesday, May 28th, and the puck has just dropped, boys. The Stanley Cup final is here.
We are live watching it.
Speaker 1
And the first play was a total mess. Yep.
And that's our live watch. That is Talking Hockey.
Talking Hockey. We will update as we go along.
We are going to live watch.
Speaker 1 If you missed the game, just listen to the entirety of this episode, and you will find out exactly what happens in the first period. Well, maybe the second period, too.
Speaker 1
We'll let you know how everything happens for the record. I have the over in the first period, so that's going to be fun.
Okay, Hank, how excited are you?
Speaker 1 After a lot of rust, Hank is very, very pumped for this Bruins. His Bruins, very excited.
Speaker 1
It was tough getting back on the train, you know, leaving the town of City of Champions, getting back on the train here. But you got to do what you got to do.
Yeah, so it only takes so many vicious.
Speaker 1
What is it, five months since your last parade? Less than that. Less than that.
Four months. Yeah, three, I think.
Well, the Stanley Cup final has started,
Speaker 1
and St. Louis versus Boston.
Here we go.
Speaker 1
Let's talk some NBA. The Toronto Raptors are going to the NBA finals, and the Milwaukee Bucks are left.
I feel bad for Bucs fans because they really did after up 2-0.
Speaker 1 They're like, this is going to be it. This is awesome.
Speaker 1 And they're just shrunk in every fourth quarter situation. And the Raptors, after, I love when teams do this.
Speaker 1 All the credit in the world to the Raptors because they probably, Kawhi probably will not stay in Toronto. But I love when teams go all in on a trade and they're like, fuck it.
Speaker 1 We're going to go all in. We're going to put all of our chips in the middle here.
Speaker 1 The Raptors, like, you know, you still got to win the championship, but even still, going to the final is huge for a franchise like that who's never been
Speaker 1
and had always had problems getting over that big hump. So credit to them.
And for a city, too.
Speaker 1 And for a city and Jurassic Park, which I didn't even know they called that stupid plaza of tears, Jurassic Park. It actually looked fun on Saturday night.
Speaker 1
And Jurassic Park is just a kick-ass name for like an open-watching environment. I'll tell you who the real winner of this NBA Finals is.
And it might not be who you expect it is. Okay.
Skip Bayless.
Speaker 1 Yeah. Skip Bayless is the real winner of these NBA Finals, no matter what happens, right?
Speaker 1 Because if the Warriors win, it's an indictment on Kawhi, and Skip gets to say, number two, I told you he was number two.
Speaker 1 And if the Raptors win, it's a big win for Skip Bayless because then he can retroactively use that and say it means less that LeBron James beat that Warriors team without KD back in 2016 because Kawhi also did it.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
But he still hates Kawhi a lot. And he actually, you know what? Like, Skip is crazy, but the Kawhi stuff is real.
Like, Kawhi did just quit on the Spurs. Oh, he fucked the Spurs over.
Speaker 1
Yeah, he totally fucked him over. And I do like the Spurs, but it takes some of the sting out of it knowing that it pissed Skip Bayless off.
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 So the things I'm looking forward to for this NBA Finals,
Speaker 1 first of all, it's the first time the Warriors have not had home court advantage for their entire run, their dynasty run, which will be interesting.
Speaker 1 You don't know, like Kevin Durant's out for at least the first game.
Speaker 1
So, I want, in order of things, I want to happen, I want Steph to not win the MVP no matter what, just so that we can keep that narrative going. It's got to go to somebody crazy.
Well, here's
Speaker 1 great. Draymond's team.
Speaker 1 Here's what would be great is if the Raptors lost and Kawhi got the MVP, then all the LeBron fans who said that LeBron should have gotten the MVP when he played great in a loss.
Speaker 1 That would just have everyone's brain. I'm just looking for brains to explode.
Speaker 1 That would be number one brain-exploding moment for the Raptors raptors to lose in seven and kawaii to get when was the last time that happened where a player from the team that lost one we looked this i think we had this exact conversation two years ago did we not i would love it to yeah that would be amazing so all right so that's my number one thing that i want number two thing that i want is i want durant to come back in
Speaker 1 what jerry west that's right oh jerry west i want durant to come back in a way that creates like the most chaos so i want it either to be oh like toronto to win the first two games and Durant to come back to save the Warriors,
Speaker 1 or for Toronto to be down 0-2 and Durant to come back and then somehow the Warriors lose game three. That's what I'm hoping.
Speaker 1
One way or the other, we need absolute chaos. It will bum me out if like Durant comes back and it's like 1-1 or it's 2-0 Warriors and he comes back and they win game three.
We need chaos.
Speaker 1 We need people to have the hottest takes possible when it comes to Durant and what he means to the Warriors. Yeah, so KD comes back, game three, they get blown out in Toronto.
Speaker 1
Yeah, no, game game three being. Or game three, yeah, would be in Golden City.
They get blown the fuck out off, and KD goes for like 38. 45.
Yeah, 45.
Speaker 1 He puts out like a lights-out performance, and they lose. And it's like, did he throw the chemistry off this team?
Speaker 1 The Warriors are playing a less entertaining form of basketball now that Kevin Durant's back in.
Speaker 1 And then you get the questions of Steve Kerr, like, are you considering maybe bringing KD off the bench in game four?
Speaker 1
Right, and then Kevin Durant or Kevin Durant just not coming back and the Warriors winning. Yeah, that'd be good, too.
That would be great, too.
Speaker 1
I actually think this is going to be a competitive series. I know you guys think it's going to be quick, quick work for the Warriors.
I mean,
Speaker 1 as of right now, and I would assume if Kevin Durant comes back, he's not going to be 100%, 100%.
Speaker 1
So, with both those things, the Raptors have the best all-around player in this series. But he's looked like he's kind of hurt, too.
Kawhi? Yeah. No.
Well, he doesn't get hurt.
Speaker 1 He only gets fake
Speaker 1 quits on his team. Yeah.
Speaker 1 He's fine. I'm also looking forward to what Charles Barkley's body does after a week's worth of poutine.
Speaker 1 Yeah, they won't be, I think it's on ESPN and ABC. Charles Barkley is going to be eating poutine
Speaker 1 this week.
Speaker 1 Do you think he'll go to the games? I don't know, but he's going to be eating poutine.
Speaker 1 He's going to be watching the coverage, and they're going to talk about this great Canadian dish that's just carbs, crazy, and cheese, and Charles is going to be like, I'm in.
Speaker 1
That's always the saddest part when the conference finals end and they end the year. So all those guys are like sign off for the year.
It's always very sad. So the NBA on TNT, they're going fishing.
Speaker 1 Yes, they go fishing after the conference finals. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1
What they should do is they should just pretend like they have the rights to the series and do a halftime show and all that stuff. Yeah, and just put it up there.
Just put it up, yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah, just no highlights whatsoever.
Speaker 1
What obscure musical bands or musical acts are we going to see make their return? Drake. Snow.
Oh. Dre.
Is he still alive?
Speaker 1
That's one of those things you all might be asking. I think that's a question where you already had the answer ready.
No, I didn't. Oh.
No, I'm just saying, like, what do you think?
Speaker 1
Because they always bring some musical guests. What's that fucking band in Tragically Hip? Yeah, that everyone loves.
Yeah, there you go. Tragically Hip.
Yeah, sure. No, that is.
Speaker 1 That's the band that everyone loves in Canada. Atlantis Moorset.
Speaker 1 I was actually going through my brain a couple seconds ago trying to think of what the most famous Canadian musicians are.
Speaker 1
And I think, I thought it was the Flaming Lips, but they're from Oklahoma City. Okay.
They're the most Canadian Oklahoma band of all time. Yeah, so Atlantis Moore set, Jim Carey,
Speaker 1
Beeves. He's not allowed back in Canada, though.
What? Do you?
Speaker 1 No, I thought they basically were like, no, I think it was the monkey thing.
Speaker 1 remember when he owned a monkey he's from Canada I know they said that we don't want him owning a monkey will get you banned from no monkey got him in trouble at some some point
Speaker 1 his monkey wouldn't apologize some airport his monkey got him in trouble i'm i'm doing the thing where i'm combining like four stories into one yeah i think it sounds good right that was dan bilzerian yeah no justin bieber tried to get back into canada with a monkey and the monkey uh was just screaming racist and they're like nope you're not allowed in
Speaker 1
yeah that's what happened. That's definitely what happened.
So, yeah,
Speaker 1
I'm excited for it. I actually think it's going to be a good series.
I hope it is because I need this block of my June to get filled up with sports somehow. Well, okay, so here's the hope for you.
Speaker 1 What are you supposed to do in June if there's no sports in the Women's World Cup? Yeah, but that's not until later. Well, getting ready for the Women's World Cup.
Speaker 1
Mentally preparing for the Women's World Cup. Getting pumped up for it.
The
Speaker 1 Raptors. Kawhi's the best all-around player in the series.
Speaker 1 Kyle Lowry might be
Speaker 1
not terrible all the time. Fred Van Vliet has been awesome since he had a kid.
Yeah, I saw that stat. That's been huge.
So getting your nut on confirms makes you a better athlete. That's been huge.
Speaker 1 I've already seen some people be like, hey, the Raptors can really rough up the Warriors, which is my favorite. I love when teams are like,
Speaker 1
you know, hey, what's the key to beating this supremely talented, exceptional team? Well, we just got to beat them up. Beat the fuck out of them.
I don't think that's going to work.
Speaker 1
I love that storyline of like, hey, if we just let Mark Gasal just foul everyone, maybe it will work. Are the Warriors soft? Yeah.
Just
Speaker 1
attack the rim and foul him. Yeah, that will work.
Drive at their knees. Yes, that's definitely going to.
Speaker 1
The rough up Steph Curry thing has been the, like, you just got to run him through. You know, when he's running through picks, you got to throw an elbow at him.
You got to really just run at him.
Speaker 1
You got to rough him up. He doesn't like contact.
And it's like, oh, wait, Steph just shot, like, he just hit 35 on, you know, like eight for 10 from three.
Speaker 1 Concussing Steph Curry is the best way to beat the Warriors, I think.
Speaker 1
Choke him out. The Warriors should be smart and just roll Boogie out there.
I don't care if he's hurt or injured or whatever.
Speaker 1
Let him go out there on crutches and just have him beat the fuck out of him. Fire with fire.
Yeah. Yeah.
Also, did you see that Steve Kerr was having dinner with Pop?
Speaker 1
So he was getting all the Kawhi dirt. He was downloading Kawhi's data.
Go after his fake injured quad.
Speaker 1 That's, by the way, that's my new fake business term. I guess it's like slang jargon, whatever, for if you work in an office, you now say, I'm going to download you on something.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah, we're going to do it. It sounds like I'm going to give you the information.
Yeah, we got that here. Remember that time, we won't name names, but someone said
Speaker 1 some new hire at Barstool hit up me in PFTU and was like, hey, when's a good time that I can download what you guys are working on? I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1
Well, for Kawhi, that actually works because he does run on software. Yes, yes.
You just plug him into a wall outlet. Yeah,
Speaker 1
just cram a USB drive up his ass, and you've got the keys to beating him. Oh, oh, wow.
The Blues just scored.
Speaker 1
I literally looked up. I haven't watched a second of it.
One more goal. Got him in the money.
Hank's.
Speaker 1
Hank. Rust versus Rust.
Download us on your thoughts. Got to have better D.
Okay.
Speaker 1 Can't have such open shots. That's some weak D.
Speaker 1
D-game weak. All right.
We're going to watch the replay real quick. And
Speaker 1
couldn't clear the puck, Hank, is what they actually were looking for. Got to clear the puck.
Got to get the puck out. You do have to clear the puck.
And the juicy rebound doesn't help.
Speaker 1 A lot of juicy rebounds. Just right in front of the net.
Speaker 1 You've got to clear out the front of the net. You've got to get that shit out of If you're a defender in the NHL and there's a guy that's in front of your net, you got to level.
Speaker 1 That will be electric for people listening tomorrow.
Speaker 1
There's definitely one person out there. Guy who drank too much Memorial Day weekend and went to sleep at like 6 p.m.
Please tweet us tomorrow and be like, thank you for redoing the game.
Speaker 1 And he probably isn't a hockey fan, so he's just listening like, oh, I'm about to find out what happens.
Speaker 1 That is like one of the more relatable things. You're probably, I'm talking to you directly right now, guy.
Speaker 1 You were were probably like 24 25 you've been working in the cubes for three years so you have that you know the occasional day off you probably have like five day days total of vacation day because your boss fucks you over so when you get the extra day off of memorial day you really go crazy you take advantage and then you and you're sunburnt you're like a lobster you're hungover you sat down on the couch with the with like the purpose of i'm gonna watch the hockey game uh-huh and then you woke up at four in the morning confused as fuck on the couch really really really thirsty and now you're here listening to us tell you what's happening I want to say a top three feeling in life is waking up on that Saturday morning of a three-day weekend and realizing that you're basically on a free play Friday right now dude how about
Speaker 1 how about us having a Sunday off it was nice oh also I'd like to play a video game I made it to the PGA tour in a fucking video game not
Speaker 1 congratulations thank you I'd like to say hands up um our bad for not properly communicating or our podcast release schedule because I thought on Sunday morning I woke up and I thought about texting you guys and being like, hey, we should probably tweet out that there's not going to be a show tomorrow because every Memorial Day we do the schedule, the Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday schedule, but we didn't say anything about it during Grip
Speaker 1
and then I just kind of forgot about it. I'm going to go the opposite.
It's one of those the real ones know. The real ones know.
Speaker 1 We always, Memorial Day and Labor Day, we go Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday.
Speaker 1 So we have Zach Efron coming on Wednesday. By the way, speaking of which,
Speaker 1
Blake Bortles and Jared Goff and Zach Efron tomorrow, if you want to watch the interviews, interviews, barstoolgold.com slash PMT. BarstoolGold.com/slash PMT.
You can go to the next one.
Speaker 1 Make sure you use that URL too. Yes, you can watch all of our podcasts, including all the interviews we did grit week.
Speaker 1
So let's just say Zach Efron put his, he went two knuckles deep into my belly button. That's a moment you're going to want to watch.
Yeah, he got your G-spot. Yeah, he tickled the bottom of my balls.
Speaker 1
All right, let's do Who's Back of the Week. Hank, why don't you start? My Who's Back of the Week is La Crosse.
Oh, really? You must have loved watching the game. Yeah, it was riveting.
Speaker 1 I was keeping up with my my phone via Twitter. Oh, really?
Speaker 1 You were keeping up with your phone? On my phone, yeah.
Speaker 1 I was traveling.
Speaker 1 Interesting.
Speaker 1
But I mean, it was scrolling, hitting refresh, and just seeing the updates of what the score was. It was riveting.
Another huge win for La Crosse. Virginia beat Yale.
Speaker 1
Virginia's just pretty much the Boston of colleges. Those are two real scrappy teams.
They hadn't won too many teams down in the finals.
Speaker 1
Yale versus UVA. I love it.
I watched, Hank, I told you, I tried to watch.
Speaker 1
I fell asleep in the first quarter. I woke up.
I watched a little bit of the second quarter. They had the Yale Bulldog.
That was cool. Handsome Dan.
Speaker 1 And then the Cubs game started, and I was too lazy to get up and find the remote for my bottom two TVs, so I just watched the Cubs game instead.
Speaker 1
But I did watch like 10 minutes of lacrosse. It was fucking sweet.
You know what they really need to do in lacrosse? They need to make the goals worth more than one point.
Speaker 1 That's an easy, it's an easy fix for baseball, too, if you want to draw more attention to your sport.
Speaker 1 Like in football, a touchdown is really one score, but it's worth six, which makes the final score look so much cooler.
Speaker 1 In lacrosse, if every goal was worth like five points and the final score was 198. Did you know?
Speaker 1 Did you know there's a shot clock in lacrosse? Yeah. How many seconds is it?
Speaker 1 A few.
Speaker 1 It's more than one. 80.
Speaker 1 That's what I learned from watching that one corner of the crossover. How do they know if it's a shot? How do they know if it's a shot? I don't know.
Speaker 1 I didn't watch long enough to figure it out. I think
Speaker 1 I only watched 79 seconds of it. There should be a swag clock in lacrosse because that's basically what most of the highlights that I've ever seen from the sport are.
Speaker 1 Just like some dude doing something kind of swaggy and like shaking his lettuce out and pointing at somebody as he runs by him. PT, you asked what sports can keep you going in the middle of June.
Speaker 1 Well, the Premier La Cross League
Speaker 1 starts on June 1st.
Speaker 1
So we might make you just be a beat writer for one of the teams. That would be my dream.
What's the New York team called?
Speaker 1 The New York Bras.
Speaker 1 New York's. Chaos.
Speaker 1 Oh, Chaos. Okay,
Speaker 1 I actually don't know. Wait,
Speaker 1 let's read the names of this fucking league. What is this? The Hank Lacrosse minute is going to be a must-listen.
Speaker 1
La Crosse. I'm just Googling Archers.
Premier Lacrosse.
Speaker 1
Archers? Is that. They're all named Archer? The Atlas.
What? Chaos. See, I don't like when they do that shit.
Speaker 1
You're supposed to say, like, the Atlasize or the Atlas. Don't make me.
Atlases. The Redwoods.
Speaker 1
Okay. Oh, Chicago's got a team.
Oh, Chicago is the chaos. And the Whipsnakes.
Speaker 1
The Whipsnakes. Chicago is the Chaos.
That's fucking sick. Wait, the Outlaws, the New York Lizards? No.
No, the Baltimore's got the Lizards. I'm reading a different.
Speaker 1
The Major League Lacrosse? No, Premier Lacrosse. Oh, wait.
Oh, sorry. Wait, oh, wait, there's no.
Chicago doesn't have a team? Why is there a guy in a Chicago Chaos jersey?
Speaker 1 Yeah, no, there is. Chicago Chaos.
Speaker 1 The Archers?
Speaker 1 What's the Chaos?
Speaker 1
One of the teams should just be the Trust Funs. What's the Whipsnakes? That's so stupid.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah, the Yachts.
Speaker 1 The Vineyard Vines.
Speaker 1
All right. Well, Hank loves lacrosse.
The La Crosse Bros. Don't get mad at us.
We have one-third of the show loves the cross.
Speaker 1
I like real sports, like rugby. Yeah, any others, Hank? I know it's it.
Okay. Just the one.
Right, P. Okay, my Who's Back of the Week is Aliens.
Aliens are back, and they're back in a big way.
Speaker 1
The Navy released a lot of documents. Got documents right here.
The New York Times did a big report about how they've spotted, I think, like a dozen UFOs off the East Coast over the last few years.
Speaker 1 Because they can report them now.
Speaker 1
Yeah, they're allowed to. Allowed to report them.
They let them report. They created a self-report, like a see-something, say something
Speaker 1
alien hotline. Yeah, so the New York Times is all over it.
Wait, no, but these are like Navy fighters and Navy Navy aviation. Right, but we can talk about aliens.
We can talk about it now.
Speaker 1
They've opened it up. They're all over the news.
I'm loving it.
Speaker 1 All the footage looks awesome watching them do radar locks on UFOs. That's probably really a smart thing to do.
Speaker 1
It's kind of tough to be like, hey, check out all these UFOs right when drones get really serious, right? Yeah, very interesting. Very confusing.
I've got a couple excerpts here.
Speaker 1 According to the New York Times, they say from the article, you have reached your monthly limit of free articles. Nice.
Speaker 1 And then the New York Times goes on to say, we noticed you're using an incognito web browser. Would you like to subscribe to the New York Times starting at just a dollar a month? So got us again.
Speaker 1
Yeah. That's two times in a row, two weeks in a row, where we've gotten the first sentence out of the New York Times.
I didn't even get that.
Speaker 1
No, the last one is Wall Street Journal. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they did the whole paywall thing.
Speaker 1
But it's kind of preposterous that there are all these UFO and alien settings out there, and we're not talking about it. That's what happens.
Well, we are. You know what they should do?
Speaker 1
They should actually wait to release this information when there's not good sports on during that lapse in June. Yeah.
Because right now it's like, bro, we're debating if Kawhi Leonard is good or not.
Speaker 1
Wait, what about drone racing? Drone racing. What about it? Have you watched it? It's electric.
They should get that on TV some more. Agreed.
Yeah. Agreed.
Speaker 1 But those aren't UFOs, are they? No, no, no, but I'm just saying you jogged my memory of drone racing.
Speaker 1 I watched it one Saturday morning hung over on like I think NBC sports or something and it was awesome. You know what's better or worse than lacrosse championship? Way better.
Speaker 1
I didn't fall asleep. Yeah, they also use neon colors and like dark strobe lights and so it's very visually appealing that way.
The problem with lacrosse is like I just want it to be football.
Speaker 1 They like do half the football.
Speaker 1
They dress in the pads. They kind of hit each other.
You see the players there.
Speaker 1
They're bumbling and stumbling all over the place today. It was amazing.
No, it's what I do. I don't understand in lacrosse when you are and aren't allowed to hit each other.
Right.
Speaker 1
If you're going to have pads on, you should always do that thing. Not true.
It's a physical sport. Long stick's not allowed to hit.
Speaker 1
Long stick. If you've got the long stick.
Is that the goalie? No, it's the defense. The goal tender? Is it a goal tender or a key package?
Speaker 1
He broke his hand playing lacrosse. I do like how the goalies wear sweatpants.
That's cool. That is very cool.
Okay. It's very relieved.
Instantly back on with the premiere lacrosse.
Speaker 1
Oh, you got another one? I do. My other who's back of the week is pools.
Pools are back. Big weekend for pools opening.
Gambling? Oh, no. No, pools.
Pools. Pools.
All over America.
Speaker 1 Memorial Day weekend.
Speaker 1
Big, big weekend of the year to go sit in a bunch of strangers' urine for only $9 a month. Not bad.
Which is actually a fucking great price. Some people charge triple that.
Speaker 1 I'm excited about it. But also, who's back of the week is people shitting in pools.
Speaker 1 So, yeah,
Speaker 1
that's always tough. It happens.
Yeah, a lot. Yikes.
Which pools are you going to do?
Speaker 1 It's also, well, so my pool is always too crowded because I live in a neighborhood with a bunch of do-gooders and a bunch of people that are real early risers, like a lot of families yeah so my pool is typically filled by nine o'clock in the morning when you gotta get when i haven't even finished my last wet green you got you gotta go out and put out a bunch of uh towels towels work go tap put towels put towels out there at like 6 30 in the morning then go sleep for another four hours or traffic cones yeah just put traffic cones on the benches because people are like these traffic cones are these uh these benches are broken i think because there's orange shit just go break everything yeah and be like well i guess i can sit here or i poop in the pool first thing and then everybody else leaves and i'm like it's my poop so it's sterile to me.
Speaker 1 At one o'clock, you can just show back up and be like, oh, you guys cleaned it already? Yeah. The biggest sign of dominance you can do is to take a crap in another man's pool.
Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what else?
Speaker 1 Who's back of the week is ignoring the signs on pools that say if you have had diarrhea in the last month, you're not allowed to swim here. That's not a real sign.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's a sign in a lot of places. Really? And everyone ignores it.
Okay. Because I don't know.
I don't think I've ever gone a month with it. Yeah, it does.
There's never been a month.
Speaker 1
There's never been a week. It pretty much tells me the only people using those pools have the worst taste in food.
Right. And just eat boiled chicken and rice like a dog recovering from a stomach.
Speaker 1
Cheese, yeah. Yeah.
Just plug them up.
Speaker 1
All right. I got two who's backs.
First one is Barteau Cologne. He was back for about four seconds.
Then he's not. I saw that.
So, but here's the good news. I think that this is how you get back.
Speaker 1 But how'd you think he was back? Well, I saw a tweet saying that he was signed with the Tigers, and then everyone's like, that's fake news. He's not.
Speaker 1
But I think someone from Bartol Cologne's camp started this. Now we're talking about him.
Now everyone's like, oh, he's out there. In the biz, they call that a trial balloon.
He can be had.
Speaker 1
Yeah, he just floated out there and see where it goes. So I think, and by the way, not to credit us, but let's credit us.
We started this like a week ago when we just started talking about him. Yep.
Speaker 1
So he is going to be back. It's a prelated back.
I'm also thinking pre-lated back is Tim Tebow because the Mets have to bring him up at some point. He's so bad, dude.
Just stop.
Speaker 1
But they're going to sell so many tickets. Just stop.
He's so bad.
Speaker 1 I don't like the Mets, and I would go to several Mets home games this year. So bad.
Speaker 1 All right, my other who's back is Death Twitter. Big weekend for Death Twitter.
Speaker 1 So we had the passing of Bart Starr, Bill Buckner, Auburn radio guy, Rod Bramblett, who tragically passed in a car accident.
Speaker 1 And all of these deaths, obviously, you know, deaths are sad, but people don't know how to handle it on Twitter.
Speaker 1
And we had the weirdest one was people responding to Rod Bramblett's last tweet from like two days ago being like, hey, Florida fan here always respected you. Rest in peace.
To his tweet. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Never got that. And then, of course, we had the people trying to make things way too personal.
The Peter King. Darren Revelle tweeted about Bill Buckner's death.
Speaker 1
Bill Buckner's death comes with unexpected guilt. The guilt of eight-year-old me, who thanks in part to his error, got his only major sports championship.
Rest in peace, Bill.
Speaker 1
I'm sorry my joy came with your pain. Thank you.
What a a nice moment. Thank you.
Thank you for that, Darren. As a Mets fan, what a nice moment.
Let me just say, I'm sorry that he's dead.
Speaker 1 And the more common thing with Buckner, who was actually a great baseball player. Yes.
Speaker 1
But everybody was saying, like, he should not be remembered for the error against the Mets. But that's how they were remembering him.
Right. By saying that.
By saying it out loud.
Speaker 1
But yeah, it's always funny. I always get a little chuckle out of people's response to deaths on Twitter.
Because you really,
Speaker 1 the lesson here is don't tweet.
Speaker 1 because either you're the guy who's like chasing for retweets and likes or the guy who makes it way too personal or the creepy guy who replies to the dead person's last tweet that's like going to the store to get some milk and then you reply to it being like sorry you died what
Speaker 1 the fuck I just want to say that if I pass away feel free to use like any picture with me as as clout chasing for yourself like really gun for those retweets I want you to reply to my last tweet probably I don't know about how swag Kelly is criminally under raid or some stupid shit like that.
Speaker 1 I want you to reply saying,
Speaker 1 hey, skip Bayless.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. That
Speaker 1 or like, hey, Bill Simmons fan coming in peace here. Yeah.
Speaker 1
I didn't like part of my take, but I just want to say that it's the worst place without PFT's dumb shit takes. Like that guy from Kansas City.
I don't think we even told that story.
Speaker 1
The guy who we met in Kansas City who came up to us. Weirdest fucking story ever.
This guy comes up to me and PFT at Kansas City after we finish interviewing Patrick Mahomes.
Speaker 1
We're at George Brett's restaurant. He comes up to us.
He goes, That was a Mike Wilbon-level name drop right there. What? We interviewed him.
Speaker 1 Well, that's what we're doing.
Speaker 1
We were at George Brett's. I mean, you were there, too.
I know. I know.
Speaker 1 I'm just saying you slid it in there seamlessly. Well, it's not a name drop if everyone knows we interviewed him.
Speaker 1 So we were at the bar, and a guy comes up to us and he's like, hey, guys.
Speaker 1
I'm not a fan of your show, but all my friends are. Can I get a picture? And we're like, you could have just lied, dude.
And he's like, well, I really just like Rasillo.
Speaker 1
So when he's on, I listen to that. But otherwise, I don't listen to your show.
But yeah, can I get a picture? We're like, again, you could just lie.
Speaker 1 But the majority of the major, I told him, next time, just lie to me.
Speaker 1
And I think he even said, like, my friends are fans of yours, PFC. Oh, that was an excuse.
Oh, Hank, you can't do that. Come on.
A live broadcast?
Speaker 1
That guy that just woke up is going to be so confused. He's going to be so confused.
I'm sorry about Hank. We're sorry, guys.
The Bruins are on a power play. There was no goal.
Speaker 1 But end of the story, the guy came up to us and just said, yeah, I know of you guys, but I'm not a fan. But can I get a picture?
Speaker 1 But in the ultimate win, he was wearing like Coke bottle glasses that made him look like a 1970s serial killer. So, of course, he'd listen to Rasillo's show.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I want you to say, hey, PFT, I'm a big bleacher report fan, but I'm still sorry about your death. I know of you guys.
Yeah, find my worst take and reply to that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Find the take that aged poorly the most and reply to that en masse so I can get ratioed. Yeah, that's the other thing is you're basically ratioing the guy's last posthumously ratioing somebody.
Speaker 1
Dude, that's fucked up. That's a fucked up way to deal with someone dying.
Okay, my last who's back? The New Zealand Breakers, our team, our basketball team. Not for the reason you think they're back.
Speaker 1
We signed Mellow. So we did not sign Mellow.
That was fake news, but there is big news coming. And if you're listening to this right now before,
Speaker 1
I'd say about 8.30 in the morning, you probably don't know the news yet. If you know it after, then now you know know the news.
Holy shit, that was crazy, wasn't it?
Speaker 1
It's because we're owners and we're in the know. We're owners.
We're in the know. This is just us doing a quick segment to let you know that we know that you don't know.
Speaker 1
All right, let's get to our interview. We got Jared Goff and Blake Portals.
Hank, I don't know if we can get the wheels back on here after what you just did. It gets ratioed, though.
Speaker 1 That's a good thing at a funeral, right? If you have a lot of people that stand up to speak.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Like they're ratioing your corpse in real life.
Well, no, that's just an annoying funeral. Oh, I like that.
No. I like that about that.
Speaker 1 No, no one wants to go to the wedding or funeral where they do like, anyone else want to say something? And then like 15 people come up? Because then you get to
Speaker 1
find out like the deepest, weirdest parts of the person's life that you didn't know about. Oh, that's the worst, though.
You're just sitting there like, come on, can we go to the bar, please?
Speaker 1
And we'll drink around, you know, we'll have a beer and be like, ha ha, cheers to them. Yeah.
And then go about our day.
Speaker 1 Every cop movie has to have two things in it. One, a funeral where people stand and drink and tell stories about how he was a good cop around the corpse.
Speaker 1
And then the other is a pogue song that finishes out the funeral. And that was the ending of The Wire.
Yep.
Speaker 1 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.
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Speaker 1 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.
Speaker 1
Here he is. Here they are.
Jared Goff, Blake Portals.
Speaker 1
Okay, Grit Week interviews are presented by Body Armor. Go drink Body Armor right now.
It is delicious. It's nutritious.
It's our favorite drink.
Speaker 1 We are here in LA with Jared Goff, Blake Bortles, the entire.
Speaker 1 Who's the other
Speaker 1
Sean Mannion still? No, he's in Minnesota. That's awkward.
It would be Brandon Allen and John Wolford. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 We're half of the
Speaker 1
Rams quarterback room. We're going to start, though, with the question: what is grit? How do you define grit? A lot of people have been saying California guys don't have grit.
Is that right? Yeah.
Speaker 1 A lot of SoCal isn't gritty. What are you guys doing here? Kind of of talk.
Speaker 1
I mean, grit is like just being in the dirt, I guess. Like, I think of like dirt.
I think of like a muddy field. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Ooh, close your eyes. Everyone's like,
Speaker 1 or like
Speaker 1 it's like 100 degrees out in a summer practice, and you don't have much grass on the field, and it's like dusty.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Dusty pants.
Speaker 1 Global warm weather is super dry.
Speaker 1
You got dust in the mouth. California's in a drought.
Yes, exactly. Hopefully, no more wildfires than wildfires.
Well, actually,
Speaker 1
if there are wildfires, Jared Goff will put it out. That's right.
Because people forget he put out a wildfire.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you guys for your service.
Speaker 1
With a half a bottle of Dasani. That's right.
Saved California. All right, Boyk, what's grit for you?
Speaker 1 Go ahead.
Speaker 4 Grit to me is
Speaker 4 kind of more like an acronym.
Speaker 1 Oh,
Speaker 4 getting raunchy in the trenches.
Speaker 1 Oh, okay. With two T's, G-R-I-T-T.
Speaker 1 Yes.
Speaker 1 Yeah, just like the Junction Boys.
Speaker 1 What about getting Raunchy in the Tesla? Because we saw your new fancy California car.
Speaker 1
So Blake's driving an electric car. What's up with that? A Tesla.
A Tesla.
Speaker 4 So the plan
Speaker 4 was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore.
Speaker 1 So now I'd just go to the gas station office to buy dip. That's a very
Speaker 1
expensive way to quit dipping, but more power to you. Yeah.
I actually thought you were joking when I first saw it. I thought it was like you were messing around like, oh, I'm in California.
Speaker 1 I'm going to run a Tesla. You get to want it to fit in.
Speaker 4 But I have a pickup truck back in Jacksonville, and I was like, I don't really want to bring that out to California.
Speaker 1 Right.
Speaker 4 So I figured I'd buy something where I could fit in.
Speaker 1 So have you gone to the gas station? Wait, how does it just plug it in at home?
Speaker 4 Yeah. And there's a charger at the facility.
Speaker 1 So when you drive to work to the Rams facility, do you actually drive or do you just do auto?
Speaker 4 No, I literally just get on the highway and like you double-click the thing twice and it just drives you all the way So you're just sitting there like scrolling through your phone?
Speaker 4 Yeah, I kind of check the news and see what's going on
Speaker 4 It beeps like every 60 seconds and you got to touch the wheel and then it just lets you know you're alive.
Speaker 1 Yeah, you gotta take a nap or something. Like eat breakfast in your car on the way to work.
Speaker 4 You can yeah.
Speaker 1
That's pretty sweet. Tell them how you bought it.
That actually wait, but hold on. Before you tell us how you bought it, that actually seems like the perfect car to be able to dip in.
It's perfect.
Speaker 1
You have to forward. You don't have to worry about your hands like where the bottle is.
There's no more like a bottle between your hands. Yeah, you ended up
Speaker 1 trying to pull one out while you're like mid-driving. So, technically,
Speaker 1
you should probably safer. Pick it up and try to get it.
Very safer. You ended up getting like a trip chamber just for dipping.
That's what the Tesla is. They should market themselves like that.
Speaker 1
They put out a camo version of the car. I think the Venn diagram.
A Masioke Tesla? Yeah, the Venn diagram of people who dip and people on Teslas.
Speaker 1
Don't touch. Probably just Blake.
Yeah, just Blake portal standing there. All right, so Hot tells the story of how you bought it.
Speaker 4 So I needed like an SUV because I have a truck and I wanted something like a Tahoe or something like that just to drive around.
Speaker 4 And I was kind of looking at websites, and then I ended up on the Tesla website, and it was like, you know, design your own. So I'm like, I'm as well see what I can do here.
Speaker 4 And then I got to the last page, and there was a buy now button.
Speaker 1 And I was like, well, I got to hit this.
Speaker 1 And then I got a call immediately, like, hey, congratulations on your Tesla purchase.
Speaker 1 Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 Customize my own.
Speaker 1 Yeah, so I guess that's kind of how they're doing it now. So, did you have to enter a credit card number for the Buy It Now button? It was just like on your honor for it.
Speaker 4 Immediately called me. It was just like I was sitting over the wiring instructions.
Speaker 1 Oh, my God. All right.
Speaker 1 That's we got one. So there's no negotiation as far as the price goes.
Speaker 4 No, no, there was none.
Speaker 1
We should hit the buy it now. Yeah, it just happens.
See how long it takes? Yeah. And they'll call us and I'll just be like, psych.
Yeah. Or, yeah, it's in the mail.
Don't worry. You'll get it.
Speaker 1
You'll get it. All right.
So,
Speaker 1 Jared, we need to talk about some stuff.
Speaker 1
Before the Super Bowl, Hank, our producer, has said a lot of mean things about you. Well, I just want to say for the record, we're.
I actually don't know what he said. Yeah, we'll get to it.
Speaker 1 I think we've got some exact quotes, but we're not the type of guys that would talk trash behind somebody's back
Speaker 1
and not say it to their face. So we're going to have Hank.
We had your back. Yeah.
Hank, do you want to read the exact quotes of what you said to me? Do you have the exact quotes?
Speaker 1
I would love to read them. Oh, no, yeah, I have to say that.
Jared Koff
Speaker 1 reads
Speaker 1 too much parstool to win a Super Bowl.
Speaker 1
That's what he said. That's not what I said whatsoever.
I think if anyone that's listening to the show knows I've been the biggest Jared supporter. Jared knows I've been the biggest Jared supporter.
Speaker 1 Well, except for that one.
Speaker 1 All we had, they asked what my take on the show was, and I said, Jared Goff reminds me of my friends. He's very similar to my friends.
Speaker 1
I could not see any of my friends taking down Belichick and Tom Brady. Damn, wow.
That was the truth.
Speaker 1
For the record, I'm sorry. I bet you're not.
I bet on you.
Speaker 1 Oh,
Speaker 1 I said for my
Speaker 1 good point.
Speaker 1 Mortal enemies. You want to apologize, Hank?
Speaker 1 No,
Speaker 1
I've seen Hank wear the color roster all the time. I know he's on board.
That's true. He does.
Are you going to say sorry, though? I mean, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt.
Speaker 1
I was just giving myself a break. No, no, no.
His feelings weren't hurt. Don't talk to me.
Are you sorry?
Speaker 1
Are you sorry for what you said? No. Like, in retrospect, it was kind of mean.
Say something. It was true.
Speaker 1 It was true.
Speaker 1
Does Brady have you in his guest house right now? No. Okay.
I disagree. I think that you don't read enough barstool.
Yeah. All right.
Speaker 1
I think if you had read a little bit more, then you would have won. Yeah, ease of mind.
I'm sorry that Big Hat and PFT are trying to come in between us, Jared. It's okay.
You're forgiven.
Speaker 1
All right, give the mic back to Blake. Give it to Blake.
Thanks, Hank. All right, let's do that.
Thanks for that. Let's do the real Super Bowl talk just to get out of the way.
Speaker 1 Are you, how long was it like
Speaker 1 pretty big bummer?
Speaker 1 I mean, the first like few days sucks. And it really sucked a lot because you
Speaker 1
think about, like, they only scored 10 points. Right.
Like, oh, all we had to do was score 11 points. We would win the game.
Speaker 1 But I think you know how much preparation you put into it and know how much hard work you put into it and live with that. And, you know,
Speaker 1
hopefully we can get back another chance at it. You know, you know, it's always hard, but hopefully, you know, soon we can get another chance at it.
Can I say two spin zones for you?
Speaker 1
One is you guys looked fucking sweet in those uniforms. There you go.
So, like, that's a big thing to me. It's like, if you look at a picture and you're like, that looked sweet.
Like, that was cool.
Speaker 1
And the Super Bowl patch and stuff. And number two, you didn't cry like Blake did after the AFC Championship game.
Blake didn't cry. He scored a lot of money.
Speaker 1 Yeah. I tried not to.
Speaker 1 Well, you guys are like the I haven't seen the Avengers, so I don't even know if I'm speaking correctly here, but are you guys like the Avengers for like teams that the Patriots beat?
Speaker 1 Like you guys are now going to join forces the last two seasons.
Speaker 1 I don't know. Did the Avengers
Speaker 1 collect stones from you? Did he get stuff? Did he take any stones from you when he beat you? No.
Speaker 1
Did you actually end up going back and watching the game yet? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I watched it right after the next day.
Really? Oh, yeah. That's torture.
No, I mean, I knew what happened.
Speaker 1
I mean, it wasn't like I forgot what happened. It was just watch a game, see what happened, see what you could have done better, and move on.
Did you watch it?
Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead. That probably helps the
Speaker 1
move on period. Right, right.
Did you pull the band-aid off? Did you watch it with McVay?
Speaker 1 No, not the whole thing.
Speaker 1
No, I don't think so. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
No, because the next day we have, or the next day or so, we have a meeting, like an exit meeting, and then you're pretty much done.
Speaker 1 I watched it, I think, the first, it was like four days in a row after the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1 They played it every single night on NFL Network, and I just missed football so much that I just kept watching it, thinking maybe more points would get scored at this time. Well, yeah.
Speaker 1 Well, you know what's good I've actually thought about is like
Speaker 1
good Super Bowls get replayed on NFL Network. There's a spin zone.
Ours probably won't. Won't.
And wasn't very exciting.
Speaker 1
Here's the real one. I was the big loser.
I bet the over. Yeah.
Speaker 1
So imagine being big kid at the end. That was like incredible.
Yeah. I mean, that's the worst performance of anyone on Super Bowl Sunday.
The over?
Speaker 1 What was it?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
You missed it by what? I missed it by so many. It's pretty damn high.
It was never even.
Speaker 1 It was insane.
Speaker 1 But so
Speaker 1
what's the vibe now like in the Rams facility? You guys are all back together now. Is it like, let's get this back together? Yeah, feel good.
Feel good.
Speaker 1
I mean, added some good pieces on defense with Weddell and Clay Matthews. Oh, yeah, I forgot, Eric.
Feel good. Feel really good.
Speaker 1
You know, we're starting tomorrow, real practice, I guess, really going against our defense. And see, we're at.
Blake's been great. Blake's been a lot.
Yeah, so what's that like?
Speaker 1 How's Blake in the room? It's been good. You know, I mean, just being friends with him, and then, like you guys talked about, being doing ASC championships valuable.
Speaker 1 Has it reached one of those points where it's like your best friend is on a sleepover with you for like four nights in a row and you start to get sick of each other yet? Not yet.
Speaker 1
No, we've been pretty fun. It's been good.
We haven't actually slept over yet, but
Speaker 1 one of the nights, maybe. Yeah,
Speaker 1 why don't you do the guest house? Because if you do the guest house, then probably. Bobby's been occupied.
Speaker 1 But then you end up with like a Peter King story being like, these two guys are having, you know, Jared's having a great year and Blake is living with their best friends. This is fucking awesome.
Speaker 1
And everyone does a puff piece. Basically, Michelle Tafoya's like, can you believe it? These guys live together.
Basically, we just live
Speaker 1 in a film narrative so much that you think you should sacrifice your lives.
Speaker 1
I did offer. I did offer.
He told me you had an extra bed and you said no i said i live down the street outside of the gated neighborhood okay
Speaker 1 i like that so you're close but not too close humble yeah um yeah outside the gate
Speaker 1 are there any plays in in the offense this year where you guys are both going to be on the field at the same time uh no that's been requested though yeah and consider it requested again from me when you talk to sean later in the week he controls that yes yes i will absolutely let him know we're going to time travel with that because we'll talk to sean before we've already talked to him and he's already installed the play.
Speaker 1
Okay. Yeah.
Well, then when you talk to him a few days ago, you let him know. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 I will have done that.
Speaker 1 Blake, new teammates, how has your breath been with them? It's been good.
Speaker 1 Fucking Leonard.
Speaker 1
I haven't noticed anything. There's never been a thing.
Well, there wasn't a thing.
Speaker 4 No, I think it's been good. I've been conscious of it, though.
Speaker 4 Like, I brush my teeth at least twice before I go.
Speaker 1 Twice in the morning. Well, yeah, all that time in the morning.
Speaker 4 And then I have this mouthwash in the facility, so I use that. And yeah, it's been strong.
Speaker 1 Because that would be like, I mean, new teammates.
Speaker 1 You can't show up with Bed Breath.
Speaker 4 Like introducing yourself with Bed Breath.
Speaker 1 Yeah. Are you what did we have you we had you on since the since you left the Jaguars, right? Have you kept in touch with any of those guys or
Speaker 4 yeah, I still talk to some of them.
Speaker 4 I mean a couple of those guys I played with for five years or so, so still have a lot of good friends there and you know, obviously wish them the the best and keep up with them.
Speaker 1 Yeah. I noticed that you were were shooting some looks over when Brooks Kepka FaceTimed in earlier today.
Speaker 1 Are you feeling threatened that he might be encroaching on your Blakeness?
Speaker 4 Yeah, well, I mean, until just recently, I found out there was only one guy to worry about. Now there's two.
Speaker 1 Yes.
Speaker 4 This guy's winning championships left and right.
Speaker 1 How do you feel about us crowning him in honorary Blake? I'm okay with that.
Speaker 4 I guess.
Speaker 1 It's more competition. Right.
Speaker 4 Yeah. As long as the competition stays the same.
Speaker 1 did you did you hear that uh playing just the call yeah that's all
Speaker 1 as long as that's the competition okay yes do you did you uh we had blake griffin on in i think like february or something he said that guys have been like coming up like in the middle of like a game he was shooting free throws and guys are like hey good luck with blake of the year so it's getting pretty like yeah the competition is getting up well i told you earlier i got a text from like a random number which whenever i call in like it just goes to a random number and uh it said Blake of the Year starting now, go.
Speaker 4 And I just immediately replied, like, ready, let's do it.
Speaker 1
And it was just some random person. Somebody from Germany, like, messing with me.
Getting you iron sharpens. I know, I kind of appreciate it.
Speaker 4 I said thanks.
Speaker 1 Yes.
Speaker 4 Keeping me sharp.
Speaker 1
So, Jared, what's it like being rich now that you got the fifth year? Oh, man, it's great. Yeah.
Great. Feels good.
Speaker 1
I haven't seen those checks yet, but it's good. Yeah.
Blake, you know about the fifth year. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 Fifth year's a big one.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the one you got to get.
Speaker 1 That's
Speaker 1 good. Fifth is good.
Speaker 1 So you're here on a one-year deal? Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 And so then you're going to become a head coach somewhere after working with Sean McVay for a year.
Speaker 4 I mean, that's kind of the track.
Speaker 1 Yeah, so like,
Speaker 1 probably like Detroit or something next year, $3 million.
Speaker 4 I mean, really anywhere would be fine.
Speaker 1 Did you meet with him before you signed the deal? I forget what you said because I know you blew him off for dinner.
Speaker 4
With McVay, yeah. Yeah.
Well, I had already signed, so dinner was kind of irrelevant at that point. And I figured he'd rather spend his night doing something else right now.
Speaker 1 Did he have to sell you on this or were you just like it's LA?
Speaker 4 Yeah, no, not really. I mean I spent a good amount of time out here and obviously known Jared for a while and
Speaker 1 coming out here and walking around the facility.
Speaker 4 I know a bunch of guys on the team and meeting with the coaches. It was kind of like, all right, this is this is where I want to be.
Speaker 1
When's the new facility open? When is the stadium the new facility? Stadium is not this season but the next one and the facility is TBD. Oh, interesting.
Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah.
Speaker 1
That's another one you can ask Sean a few days ago. Yeah, a few days ago we will ask him.
Yeah, we will have asked him. He's like micromanaging all that.
Speaker 1 He's probably going to have a hard hat on and his clipboard and construction vest.
Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's the NFL network facility and the Rams facility that's going to be together. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Seems a little bit incestuous. So our stadium will host them, essentially.
Our stadium complex will have NFL network in it. So Roger McDowell's going to be your roommate, basically.
Speaker 1
Not where we practice, where we play our games. Your locker will be right next to Rich Eisen.
Potentially. Yeah.
He wears really kind of weird sweaters all the time. So big color looking guy.
Speaker 1
He's a good guy. He's good.
He's okay. Are you guys going overseas?
Speaker 1
You guys going overseas this year? We do. We go to London.
Okay.
Speaker 1 Oh, that's a good thing. I can help you with that.
Speaker 1 Blake's going to be a tour guide and we do go to Hawaii for a preseason game. You go to Hawaii? Pre-season to Hawaii.
Speaker 1
That's why Blake signed with the Rams. Yeah.
He's like, okay.
Speaker 1
Want to make sure we still go to London and Hawaii. Yeah.
Smart man. Do you have a passport? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. You probably had to get one before Mexico City last year, too, right? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
You've had one for a while. I've had one.
Yeah. What was the prep like for Mexico City? Because it's like twice as tall as Denver.
Well, we went to Colorado. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 And it was actually during all the fires.
Speaker 1 So it kind of worked out for us to go out there just to be out of the smoky area. And then we got out there, and two days later, it was like, hey, the games need to be back in L.A.
Speaker 1
It was actually, there was a plane of family members leaving to go like coaches-wise and stuff leaving the moment the news broke. Holy shit.
And they're like, well, what are we doing?
Speaker 1 Now we should go back home. But,
Speaker 1
no, it was good. We trained out in Colorado at Air Force Academy for a week and came back and beat the Chiefs.
Game of the year. Yeah, it was fun.
Game of the year. That was a great game.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 What happened? Another one last tough question for you. What happened in Chicago?
Speaker 1 That was good. That was not good for the Cali kid thing.
Speaker 1 It wasn't cold.
Speaker 1 No, it was cold. They showed your face, and you had that like, listen, I know the cold, like you get that little tear where you're not really crying, but it's cold.
Speaker 1 You kind of are. And you had that.
Speaker 1 Yeah, and it was like, listen, the game.
Speaker 1 I love Jared, but he's got no chance because it's too cold.
Speaker 1 What did you say?
Speaker 1 It wasn't that cold. It was like 45 degrees.
Speaker 1 It was cold.
Speaker 1 Yeah,
Speaker 1
it was like 35 maybe, and it really wasn't windy at all. Their defense is damn good.
Yeah, but the cold. It was damn good.
It wasn't that cold.
Speaker 1
Denver was way colder. And how did you do that? You won that game.
Okay, you won that game. Because you got to stop the Cali.
Like, people are going to do that. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
Like, Cali get that. That's okay.
Were you wearing sleeves in that game? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We got to get rid of that. He had a funny sleep.
So was Mitchell.
Speaker 1 For some reason, though, you look colder when you're wearing sleeves that make you warmer. Does that make sense? Sure.
Speaker 1 Like, especially if you're playing football, if you see us bare arms, it's like that guy.
Speaker 1 We were wearing the all white, too, so it probably made us look like we were trying to stay warm in like a snow outfit.
Speaker 1 Yeah. Blake, if Sean McVay walked into the first day of training camp and was like, hey, listen, Blake, I love you, man, but you can't wear a hat on the sideline for the entire season.
Speaker 1 What would you do? Wear a helmet?
Speaker 4 I've seen Sean Manny wearing a helmet on the sideline all last year.
Speaker 1 You're going to do that? You're going to wear a helmet every time.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I'd wear a visor.
Speaker 4 Visor a headset just to cover it.
Speaker 1
Yeah, a visor would be a hell of a look. Like, that's the naggy look, right? The bald, like, totally bald.
Bald visor.
Speaker 1
Where are you at right now? Like, I mean, it's, we got to do something about it. God, that's not bad.
No, that's not bad. No, well, you're looking in the right.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but from this angle, it's not the right.
Speaker 1
Notice he didn't dip his head in it. That's fine.
When it gets really bad, it's the top of my head.
Speaker 1 When it gets really bad is when you wear a helmet, when it gets like matted down and wet. Oh, and I haven't seen that yet.
Speaker 4 That was the first thing Jared said. It was like, I haven't seen you post-helmet hair yet.
Speaker 1 Oh, no. Maybe tomorrow.
Speaker 1 He's got the hat
Speaker 1
helmet to hat so down, though. It's insane.
It's the fastest thing you've ever seen. You can never.
He dips his head a little, too. It is.
It dips like this, and
Speaker 1 you honestly can't see it. You're like a gunfighter with your hand just dipping down real quick.
Speaker 1 I remember the first day of practice back in high school football, every year, the first day over the summertime, the helmets would just hurt like shit.
Speaker 1 Do you guys still get that, or your head's just used to it by now? If it's a helmet I've worn, like if it's my helmet from last year, it'll be fine. If it's a new helmet, it's the same way.
Speaker 1 You got to break it in, and you get that big Peyton Manning red triangle on your forehead.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that was the worst.
Speaker 4
Also, back to losing hair, though. I think we talked about this the other day.
I feel like when it starts to go, really, the best, you know, I like to think like the best asset of me is my face.
Speaker 4 So my face is just growing.
Speaker 1 True.
Speaker 1
It says forehead is less. True.
Percentage-wise. Yeah, you have more head.
Speaker 1
It's just growing. Your feature-to-hair ratio is only increasing.
Exactly. Patmanic's forehead made me think.
It's a bigger forehead.
Speaker 1 Do you ever plan on shaving the beard, or is it one of those things where it's like I'm going to trick people to think that I'm not bald? Yeah,
Speaker 4 losing hair or going bald or shave your head. I feel like you have to have a beard.
Speaker 1
Yes. Balance it out.
Absolutely. I like the beard.
Thanks. It's good looks.
Yeah, thanks. Well, that's because I'm going gray.
So that sucks.
Speaker 1
I'm not losing hair. I'm not with you.
I'm not a little bit old, though. But yeah,
Speaker 1
I am going very gray. So it sucks.
It's not bad. No, it sucks.
I look dignified.
Speaker 1 Are you guys going to do any hijinks in the locker room and stuff? Because you guys are best friends.
Speaker 1
You can just team up on someone, maybe push them over. You get down on them.
Tabletop them? Yeah, table top them, something like that. Maybe pants some people.
We haven't played any pranks yet.
Speaker 1
I think it's a little different. I think you guys are a little different.
You guys are like professionals. We kind of pick on the younger quarterback a little bit.
Wait, who? Brandon Allen?
Speaker 1 Joe. Yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 1
He's great. John Wolford? Wolford.
Where's he from? Play in the AAF. Oh,
Speaker 1
went to Wake Forest. Wakeforce.
Demon Deacon. Oh.
Speaker 1 Historically great offense. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Riley Skinner. Yeah.
He was on the hot shots. AAF hot shots.
Oh, really? But they were in Arizona. Yeah.
They put up some points. We knew our AAF.
Yeah. We're very familiar with that dock score.
Speaker 1 I bet on them. Yes.
Speaker 1
So, yeah, what kind of hijinks you did a pull on him? Oh, I don't know. A little icy hot in the Jacksonville.
Plays had a little more, I guess, experience with it than I would have.
Speaker 1 You've been a veteran for longer than I have. Yeah.
Speaker 1 There's not a whole lot.
Speaker 4 There was a lot of stuff going on in Jacksonville. Not so much pranking.
Speaker 1 I think a funny one I was saying the other day is when you hand the helmet around. Like you grab somebody's actual helmet and you go, hey, can you guys sign this for me?
Speaker 1 I'm giving it to somebody, and everyone signs it.
Speaker 1 And then I wear it at practice,
Speaker 1
it's good, and then they have to get a new helmet. I like that.
That's a good one. I've seen that one.
That one's good. Do you guys have to wear your names on your helmets for like to start a camp?
Speaker 1
We do. I don't know.
I saw that. We do.
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you're going to have to learn all this new stuff. I just saw that the other day.
We have all of us have our name and number.
Speaker 1 How much is your
Speaker 1 coming to LA? Is it super different in terms of like you were comfortable in Florida? You're a Florida guy.
Speaker 4 Are you adapting well Florida was home yeah I mean it's been good I got a couple friends
Speaker 4 I mean it's a nice place it's like out of the way like I kind of know Orange County well but up north of LA wasn't really familiar with
Speaker 4 so
Speaker 4 I mean it's been good I go to dinner by myself
Speaker 1 seriously
Speaker 1 because you can't ask for like whether you get a table for one
Speaker 1 blake table for one what do you do
Speaker 1
I actually I'm with you I think eating at the bar is watch games I I like eating at the bar. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 You get to see the bartender making all the other drinks. And
Speaker 1 there's like a sushi chef or somebody making a sandwich. You get to watch
Speaker 1 it too.
Speaker 4 Like you can have conversation. Like you can't sit at a table by yourself and try and talk to the waitress.
Speaker 1
Right. Yeah.
That's just.
Speaker 4 Like you can talk to the bartender or somebody sitting next to you.
Speaker 1 Have you been recognized on here yet?
Speaker 1 No. No.
Speaker 1
Do you get recognized? I mean, every once in a while. LA is weird.
When we signed him, there's not been a free agent signing we've made that my friends have text me more about than when we signed him.
Speaker 1
It was like Brandon Cooks last year, not that big a deal. Clay, not that big of a deal.
When we signed Blake, it was like, Yo, you guys got Blake, like, it's gonna be dope. Yes, it is.
Speaker 1
I mean, that's, I think, I might have been one of those texts. Yeah, you were like, hey, this is awesome.
And then, and then some of my friends are like, yeah, I'm gonna get a five jersey.
Speaker 1 Like, hold on, whoa, like, what's going on? Whoa, we wait, what did we decide? What did we decide with you? Uh,
Speaker 1 uh,
Speaker 1 Gordles, Gordles, we're gonna get a Gordles jersey,
Speaker 1 Boff, Yeah, Jake Boff
Speaker 1
or... I like Gordles.
Gordles is a little bit more.
Speaker 1
Blair Gordles. Yeah.
Blair Gordles. Blair Gordles.
Gordles is pretty good. So will you be mad if we do that? Do what? A combination of it.
To Gordles. Absolutely not.
Okay.
Speaker 1
Because we're going to get it. Do it.
Have you thought for your personal brand just like the B, then capital L A and then lowercase K E?
Speaker 1 Yeah. Probably sell a lot of t-shirts that way.
Speaker 1 Have you, Jared? Have you had like an increase? Like, has your schedule gotten crazier since you were in the Super Bowl? Like, is everyone wanting your time?
Speaker 1 I mean, you've you haven't fucking taken that Red Bull hat off once. And so it's clearly, well, no, I mean, it's clearly like you got brands and shit, but like anything else like that?
Speaker 1 Not really.
Speaker 1
Maybe a couple of Banana Republic. Banana Republic.
What? They hooked you up? Yeah, I did some stuff with them. Damn.
You didn't see the commercial? No, I don't think I did.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I did some good stuff with them.
Speaker 1
Some free clothes? Yeah. Nice.
Yeah, it's been fun. That's probably been the biggest one since the Super Bowl.
Okay. Okay.
What do you got going on endorsement-wise right now? Not a whole lot.
Speaker 4 I'm just hanging out.
Speaker 1
Wikipedia Club. Wikipedia Club.
Yeah, we'll get you with Tesla, too. I feel like they're going to hear your testimonials.
Ooh, you might. I got Tesla.
Speaker 1
I think that's really nice about them. The Grizzly.
The Copenhagen edition. Yeah, I like that.
That's good. I like that a lot.
Speaker 1 Elon Musk, I know your list. Tesla sells merch.
Speaker 1
I keep wearing a lot of Tesla. It's like poor stuff.
You can wear Tesla hats.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you'd be be a real Tesla. Is there still stuff about your Tesla that you're you're figuring out? Like you have no idea what it is.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 Like you, there's so much like weird things it does.
Speaker 4 I mean, it's just like software. It's just a computer on wheels.
Speaker 4 And like you can turn it on to where every time you hit your blinker, it farts and makes like whoopie cushion noises and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 So you do that? Yeah.
Speaker 4 You can't have that on there.
Speaker 1 I'm not going to use it. Right.
Speaker 4
But yeah, it does all kinds of weird stuff like that. It's pretty cool.
Shit.
Speaker 1 All right.
Speaker 1
I have one last question. See Geek Geek question.
Put in promo code take. You get $10 off.
See Geek purchase. Do you guys have any questions for us? No.
That's the question. Oh.
Speaker 1
I got a question for you. Yeah.
How's
Speaker 1
you're about to be a dad? Yeah, yeah. I am.
I'm excited. I'm nervous.
I'm excited and nervous. So June's going to be...
That's why we're out here.
Speaker 1 People are going to listen to this after the fact, but we're out here because we're doing a bunch of interviews to try to get ahead of it a little bit. So I'm not going to take much time off.
Speaker 1 Not going to miss any shows.
Speaker 4 Big paternity leave?
Speaker 1
No, I don't think Barstool has anything anything like that. Nothing.
No, I don't think so. I was actually wondering if I was going to get paternity leave when you had your kid, too.
Speaker 1 No, I won't miss any shows. We're going to do a
Speaker 1 evergreen show that we have that we can just throw out there if the kid comes on a show night. Other than that,
Speaker 1 I got a question
Speaker 1 for you guys. You got to pay for that kid.
Speaker 1 We need to figure out who's going to be the godfather of the kid between me and Hank. Do you have any
Speaker 1
running? Everyone's in the running. I was about to ask them if they had any ideas for a competition.
Now they're going to be like, throw football as far as you can.
Speaker 1 Yeah. I think I'd be able to take you guys.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 I think the football, like, because I think the godfather's going to have to teach him some stuff
Speaker 1
when dad's not around. One of the vortex ones, though.
The problem is when dad's not around, they're not around either. We travel everywhere together.
Speaker 1 To the point where, like, if people see, like, if I go somewhere and it's like even vacation, they'd be like, where's PFT, dude? It's like, I don't go everywhere with him. Most
Speaker 1 90% of the time I'm with him.
Speaker 1 It's always weird. We're like, where's PFD? It's like, bro, we don't always go everywhere.
Speaker 1 It's like when you see your teacher in the grocery store, and you're like, well, I thought you lived at the school. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 Why aren't you guys together? What the hell? Yeah.
Speaker 4 Just make it Dave. He stays in New York, so he'll be there whenever you're.
Speaker 1 That's actually a smart move. Make Dave the
Speaker 1
Godfather. Because he won't roast.
What would he teach it? I'm not even going to see him. Where's your family?
Speaker 1
It's a boy. Here's a beautiful thing.
What did you say?
Speaker 4 Does he even know?
Speaker 1
Yeah, he does know. But but here's the best part: is that the due date's June 25th, and he goes to Nantucket for all of July.
So I think there is a chance that I'll have a child, and then
Speaker 1
we'll go a year where he'll be like, wait, you have a kid? Like, I'll be like, one thing I'll miss in an entire year. Like, hey, I can't go to this.
And he'd be like, why? Like, I have a kid.
Speaker 1
He'd be like, what? Because he's going away right after. So it's actually perfect.
Because I don't really want to make him fodder. Jod's missed July, too.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I don't want to make the kid fodder for like Dave to just roast and do the Dave thing. So we're going to try to avoid that.
Yeah. Try to have a normal.
Speaker 4 Are you going to give your kid like an Instagram account?
Speaker 1
No. Absolutely not.
Make him. Yeah, you can make him famous, like promo, like CBS.
Nothing. None of that.
No.
Speaker 1 The kid.
Speaker 1 Let's be a good marketing decide what he wants. You're telling me that kid wouldn't have a lot of followers? Yeah, but I don't want there's using kids for social clout is
Speaker 1 people do it. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 He's not allowed to get on social media until he's 18.
Speaker 1 No, little
Speaker 1 Cash App cat is not allowed to get on social media. I mean, now this is all contingent on how I do gambling contracting name of Cash App.
Speaker 1 Obviously, if I start to lose, like I usually lose, then yeah, maybe the kid will have his own Instagram and he'll have to be sponsored and shit.
Speaker 1
Who cares? My dog's a newsbreaker. Yeah, there you go.
My dog. He doesn't really break correctly.
No, he's on a hot streak right now. He's like two for four.
Oh, last wow. That's crazy.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 All right. What other questions you got for us?
Speaker 1
Your buddy in Rough and Rowdy was awesome. Yeah.
He did well. That was sick.
That was well. a lot of fun.
Rough and Rowdy. Did he win? Yeah.
He did win. You were there.
Speaker 1 He did win.
Speaker 1 He was texting me. You were keeping me updated.
Speaker 1 You were fucking there. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1
Wait, your buddy, that was punishment for finishing last place in a fantasy football league, right? Correct. Yeah, to fight Rough and Rowdy.
And he won. And he won.
That's crazy. He did.
Speaker 1
On like three-week notice. Yeah.
Like, it was pretty radical, though, right? He's an athlete kid. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 Can we talk about the
Speaker 1 post-Houston party?
Speaker 1
I don't think we've ever talked about it. Oh, yeah.
Let's finish with that.
Speaker 1 It's the first time that
Speaker 1
we saw Jared and Blake. That's really when the sparks started flying this relationship.
Where should we start? We almost burned down the house making totinos at three in the morning.
Speaker 1 Blake was staring at the oven for about two hours.
Speaker 1 At the far storehouse. Then
Speaker 1 the next morning,
Speaker 1
at like 9 in the morning, I think you texted me. You're like, hey, where's Blake? I was like, I don't fucking know.
And you're like, well, we we have a plane. This plane
Speaker 1
ready to fly, and we can't find him. It wasn't like, I showed up on time.
You showed up on time. You were the last person heard from me until like a time.
Until the time.
Speaker 1
Yeah. It was like the situation where his phone died and he fell asleep.
And we're like, I hope he makes it. He burnt his mouth with totinos.
We said that
Speaker 1
for like two weeks. Yeah.
What's really impressive is that your phone was dead and you still managed to find your way to the airport at like 9.30 in the morning.
Speaker 1
I don't think I could do that in any city. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't really remember how I got there. To navigate your way to the airport.
That's impressive. It was a good night.
Speaker 1
That was, yeah, Blake just stared. I do remember that.
Him just staring at the oven. There was smoke coming out.
Speaker 1
I was inside. He was staring at it.
Walk outside. Did the whole loud Sean basketball thing for two hours?
Speaker 1 Go back inside, and he's still in there, and there's like kind of smoke coming out. But he's just like, I like him crispy.
Speaker 1
And I feel like we didn't have the oven on. He's just like staring at it.
I feel like the first hour we just didn't have the oven on. It's very complicated.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 1
I remember I left, left late, and he was like, he was not doing well. And I left pretty late.
And I was like, Blake, like, 11 a.m. tomorrow.
Like, you're going to be there.
Speaker 1
He's like, yeah, yeah, I got you. I'm like, all right.
It was such a funny text to be like, hey, do you know where Blake is? Like, what the f why would I know where he is?
Speaker 1
I think I was already been going. You guys might have still been going.
Oh, I was already at the airport. No, we got the hell out.
We got out of there on Saturday morning.
Speaker 1
We were going to fly out on Sunday and we were like, fuck that. Let's just get out of here.
Yeah, we were gone.
Speaker 1 Gone.
Speaker 4 All I remember for that night was me and Paul standing out back, just hanging out, and we just looked across the pool. And Dave was having fun in his bedroom with the windows wide.
Speaker 1 Oh yeah, that's right. You saw
Speaker 1
that Dave getting a blowjob. So we'll end there.
That's perfect. He's told the story, so I feel fine.
I've heard that story. Yeah, he likes to say it out loud.
Speaker 1 That exact story? Yeah, he's like Blake Borough seeing me get a blowjob.
Speaker 4 Although he was like petrified because he immediately closed the blind.
Speaker 1
Which has been a normal move. Oh my god.
Yeah, yeah, that's a normal move to do. But yeah, that was a good time.
But hopefully you guys are in the Super Bowl again this year. Hopefully.
Speaker 1 We missed Rough and Rowdy, but for a good cause.
Speaker 1 and hopefully hank has learned his lesson and and won't talk trash about actually wait why did i say hopefully i don't want you to be in the super bowl i want the bears to be in the super bowl but i want you to have success
Speaker 1 if you have to go to chicago for
Speaker 1 january you're you're already crying about that you are blake's not coming blake will be like i'm not going it's 20 like 10 degrees yeah i know anything over 50s
Speaker 1 that's why he's in la he likes the weather yeah exactly calibros to the max final question if i get arrested at super bowl media day and you guys are at it are you gonna finally do something and step in this time?
Speaker 1
I didn't know you got arrested until after. Get dragged away like a political prisoner.
I did. No, I did.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I did.
Speaker 1 You got detained. No, I got escorted downstairs by NFL security
Speaker 1 and the FBI
Speaker 1 question.
Speaker 1
That's it? No, I've been arrested. I've never been arrested.
I've been arrested for three times. Underage drinking.
Kind of a bad boy part of my take. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Want to brag. Damn.
Pretty cool. Where have you been arrested?
Speaker 1 At a dog show
Speaker 1 at Super Bowl Media Day.
Speaker 1 and then
Speaker 1
for Drunken Public on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh fuck. Oh, you're counting the dog show? Yeah, the dog show.
The dog show is probably my biggest artist. Duties are not even real arrests.
No? Oh, man. Dude,
Speaker 1 if you get detained at a dog show, that counts as being arrested. Oh, man.
Speaker 1 That was actually good seeing you there at Media Day, though, because it was very boring and like the same question over and over. And then I saw you, and I was like, oh, this is kind of fun.
Speaker 1
Yeah, media day sucks. Yeah.
I feel bad. I actually feel bad for the athletes that have to sit up there and answer the questions because it's supposed to be like a fun night for them in theory.
Speaker 1
Like, I guess it used to be fun, and now it's just like sit up here and try not to say anything stupid. Wait, I have one final question now that I'm thinking about it.
We're obviously going to.
Speaker 1 You've already listened to us talk to Sean McVay, but I want to hear from you. Was there any moment where he came up to you and was like, these guys won't stop hassling me about a Super Bowl box?
Speaker 1
Oh, throughout that week? Yeah. Oh, yeah, we joked about it.
He was like, man, I might have to do it.
Speaker 1 They're kind of,
Speaker 1 I got to be a man of my word. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I guess he wasn't. No,
Speaker 1 we probably would have
Speaker 1
been like, no, we want to go back. Yeah, okay.
Well, he's got to do something for you guys. I guess the interview that you guys did a few days ago will work.
Yes.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we definitely smoothed things out then. Yeah.
That's good. We have a box seat to every Rams game this year.
Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1
all. There are boxes.
Okay. I have a box.
You guys are welcome. Really? Shut a box? Oh, shit.
2019. Okay.
Do the Bears play out here? Yeah, they do. They do.
They do. All right.
So we might.
Speaker 1 Well,
Speaker 1
no Bears fans a lot on my my box. Yeah, you don't want to bring him out for that game.
No Bears fans on my box. Why? Mitch is a friend? Yeah, you can go in his box.
Okay, well, he doesn't have a box.
Speaker 1
And he's not. I'm not in his guest house right now.
True. I'll go in Blake's box.
Speaker 1 Yeah. In the parking lot.
Speaker 1
I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.
Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies and six percent uber credits back on rides just to be clear i'm there for savings not whatever you think college is for get uber one for students a membership to save on uber and uber eats with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just 4.99 a month savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply What's up guys?
Speaker 1 It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. We've got a breaking moose real quick.
Speaker 1 Breaking moves.
Speaker 1
LeBron's watching The Godfather again. Oh, shit, here we go.
So he decided to just give up on the book and
Speaker 1 the book's going to be
Speaker 1 put in the cooler for a minute.
Speaker 1
He's watching The Godfather. He probably just loves it on Instagram stories.
He probably just left the book in his wine cooler. It was like like a little wine fridge that he's got.
I mean,
Speaker 1
it is playoff season. It is.
Might as well watch The Godfather. Also, I wanted to bring this up when we were talking about the Raptors earlier.
Speaker 1 Did you see the electric celebration that they had after they won game six in downtown Toronto? Yeah.
Speaker 1 People flooded out into the streets, and then when the light turned green, they all neatly and orderly walked to the sidewalk
Speaker 1
to allow the cars to pass. Yes, yeah.
That breaking moves was brought to you by Chocolate Milk for real cover. That tastes real.
Speaker 1 Speaking of of Toronto,
Speaker 1 we should do a quick this league for Kawhi's sister posting an Instagram that had someone in the background be like, what did the person say?
Speaker 1 She was talking about, you know, how people, like, they're like, thank you, Kawhi. Toronto loves you, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1 And then, like, allegedly, his uncle was in the background, like, they know damn well he's not going to be here next year.
Speaker 1 Counterpoint.
Speaker 1
Everybody's got, like, a loudmouth uncle that you don't really trust. Kwai trophy.
So maybe
Speaker 1 counter, counterpoint.
Speaker 1
Kawhi literally only listens to that loudmouth mouth uncle. That was the whole San Antonio thing.
Oh, really? He was only listening to his uncle. Okay.
Counter-counter counterpoint.
Speaker 1
It was like Kwai and his uncle. Yeah, you're right.
It's like Derek and Reggie Rose. Yeah, you're right about that.
Okay, so Kawhi to Los Angeles confirmed. Yes, yes, pretty much.
Speaker 1 The uncle definitely knows.
Speaker 1 It is funny because we're at the point now where everyone's like, with every shot Kawhi makes, they're like, well, he's more likely to stay in Toronto now.
Speaker 1 It's like, dude, he's already made up his mind one way or the other.
Speaker 1
He's going to stay or he's going to leave. That's already been decided.
What if they I could see him changing his mind if they win a championship? No, I seriously think it's still the same.
Speaker 1 Like if he's going to leave, he's already gone. Wait, but Toronto can offer more money, right?
Speaker 1
No, I don't think so. Okay, never mind.
There goes my last half-baked theory.
Speaker 1
It's, yeah, I think he's gone no matter what. Yeah, you're probably right.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't say no matter what. I think he's made up his mind already no matter what.
Speaker 1 Like he could, there could be a world where he's like, I really love it in Toronto, but losing or winning the finals won't change that.
Speaker 1
I could see Kawhi really enjoying Toronto. Yeah, Toronto's a great fucking city.
It is a good city and it's a perfect city for him. Although he doesn't love the cold.
Speaker 1 I heard that from his uncle. Okay.
Speaker 1
Well, you can go on vacation in the summertime somewhere warm. Yeah, but the wintertime you have to be there.
That's true. But you're going to be playing anyways.
Speaker 1
Yeah, but like walk into the arena and shit, that fucking sucks. I mean, he can drive.
He could drive. They probably have a parking lot at the arena for the players.
Yeah, he can't go outside, though.
Speaker 1
Or he could live in his $30 million house he just bought in San Diego. I just really wish Rob Ford was still here.
Yeah, I know. To see all this.
He'd be eating wings.
Speaker 1 The mayor's bet between Rob Ford and whoever the mayor of Oakland is.
Speaker 1
That would be something. Nope.
Thought I had it for a second, but I definitely don't. Nope.
Marshawn Lynch. What if he just cucked the mayor of Oakland? He was like, Marshawn Lynch, you're the mayor.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I just want to bet against you. Yes, yeah.
Skittles versus Buffalo Wings.
Speaker 1 I was going to say crack. Yeah, well, the crack is underneath the Buffalo Wings.
Speaker 1 The trick is, if Rob Ford tried to bet somebody crack, he would just, he would keep it. Even if you lost, he'd be like, oh, sorry, it's gone.
Speaker 1 I don't know. I lost it.
Speaker 1
All right. We have a.
Speaking of illegal drug use, we have a bad visual for
Speaker 1
Yveni Kuznetsov. Your Washington Capital, Yuveni Kuzetsov.
Kuznetsov. Evgeny.
Speaker 1
Eveni Kuznetsov. He pulled an OBJ.
So he was in a hotel room, and
Speaker 1
there was cocaine matter, or cocaine resembling matter. It could have just been ice.
Literally.
Speaker 1
It could have been ice shavings. Right next to him.
Right next to him on like a mirror cut up into two nice little strips.
Speaker 1 So he's saying that he has never done illegal drugs and when he saw the illegal drugs in a room with strange women, he left. So I'm taking Kuznets off at his word here.
Speaker 1
So that's the bad visual, by the way. The bad visual is not having an Instagram with Coke on the table.
You're a professional athlete. You just won this.
I think this was from last summer, maybe.
Speaker 1
It was from Vegas after they won the cup. Yeah, Jared Stolt knows, like, that shit happens after you win a cup.
Yeah. Or if you're just a Miami offensive line coach.
Speaker 1 The bad visual is him saying, when I was aware of the video, I immediately left the room. Yep.
Speaker 1
What the fuck? Yeah, that's weird. That's weird decision making.
Yeah, like, ew, what's with all these women in Coke after I win the cup? I'm out of here. Yes.
I can confirm I was there at the time.
Speaker 1
I was not in that room, but I did not see any drugs. I don't think that there were any drugs in Las Vegas.
This came after that. This is such a funny sentence to read.
Speaker 1 Kuznetsov told the Russian media site that the video was taken last summer after the Capitals won the Stanley Cup and that he left the room as soon as possible after seeing unfamiliar women and strange substances.
Speaker 1
Who is he? Mike Pence? By the way, he left the room as soon as possible. That's obviously after the Coke was done.
Yeah, so he got the fuck out of there. He's like, okay, now I can leave.
Speaker 1
He put this Coke away. This party sucks.
Yeah, there's no more Coke, so I left. And the women were strangers to me.
Switzerland's possible. It's so perfect there.
Well, we had to finish the Coke.
Speaker 1 He's always been a second line guy.
Speaker 1 Oh, man.
Speaker 1
That was like 2.75 balls. That's pretty good.
Yeah, there were two lines there. 2.75 balls.
Yeah, there are two lines there. Look at the balls.
Speaker 1 Tune into our burger review. Oh, yeah, we did.
Speaker 1 Yeah, so we did a burger review on Zach Efron's YouTube page, which are some words that I never thought would come out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 But we reviewed the burgers on the Patnick Glennie Balls.
Speaker 1
Was it 1 through 5 balls? He had no idea what we were doing. Nope.
On that part. He knew what we were doing on everything else, but the balls.
All right. Dad to dad.
Speaker 1 LeBron James has let his son Bronnie Jr.
Speaker 1
on Instagram. Finally.
Our long national nightmare is over. LeBron James' son is now posting.
Yes. So also.
Speaker 1 So do you think him and his wife are going to go through his son's DMs the way any parent would? Well, here's what I don't understand. You know that he is just going to get flooded.
Speaker 1
Here's what I don't understand. I thought he was on Instagram.
It turns out he just has like a million Instagram fan accounts. So that means I was DMing with a random person.
Speaker 1
That's so creepy. I mean, that you were.
Yes. You thought you were DMing with a 17-year-old boy.
I mean, it turns out it was a fan account of a 17-year-old boy. 14, more or less.
That's creepy.
Speaker 1 I was trying to get,
Speaker 1
sorry, at all costs. I was trying to get LeBron on the show.
I would rather have Bronny Jr. on the show than LeBron.
Speaker 1 Can you imagine growing up with LeBron James as your dad, how surreal your life is, and half the time that your dad's at home, he's just walking around screaming into his phone, making an Instagram story?
Speaker 1 Didn't LeBron say something ridiculous last year where he was like, I don't want everyone to put pressure on my kid?
Speaker 1
He's like, bro, you named him LeBron James Jr. He was happy that he chose a different number because he didn't want him to choose LeBron's number.
Yeah. Because no,
Speaker 1 otherwise people might connect the dots and realize that that's LeBron James Jr. LeBron also just didn't want his son to supersede his playing level with that same number.
Speaker 1 I will say, it's going to be cool when they play together in the NBA. Because that's how long LeBron's staying in the NBA.
Speaker 1 And that will be a cool moment.
Speaker 1
I mean, everyone remembers Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr.
playing together. Did you see Draymond got in on the comments?
Speaker 1 No, did not listen to LeBron James when LeBron said, like, be nice to him or else we're going to roll up. So I guess LeBron James is like threatening to murder anybody that leaves.
Speaker 1 He's watching the guy.
Speaker 1 But Draymond said, I'm going to be at your fucking neck.
Speaker 1
That's so good. That's so good.
Yeah, again.
Speaker 1
Fuck yes. I bet you LeBron James Jr.
thinks that Draymond's Draymond's a way cooler dad than LeBron is. Yeah, for sure.
He's like, I want to go hang out with Uncle Draymond.
Speaker 1 Once you hit that, like, 13, 14 years old, you're like, every dad is cooler than your dad. Yeah, especially for a four or five year stretch.
Speaker 1
Especially the one that's kind of fucked up and always like angry at people. And drinking too much.
Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
No, I was talking about Draymond. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 Draymond would be a top five uncle of professional athletes right now.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Hank Hawt in the streets.
Speaker 1
So Hank Haught in the streets, it's similar to Mel Rushmore's season, kind of, but tears. Yeah, tear maker has hit the streets.
Making tears, just pick a category, similar to Mel Rushmore's season.
Speaker 1 Just pick a category and then put the things into tears. Go on Twitter, go viral.
Speaker 1 I'm going to do this tomorrow.
Speaker 1 My whole day is going to be spent mashing memes and tears together. I got in.
Speaker 1
That's what you should do, is you should make tears of memes. That's what I'm going to do.
Yeah, like this is an elite meme. But I'm not going to use any of the memes correctly.
Yeah. Right.
Speaker 1 I made one with states, and boy, it's shocking how many people will argue over a a list of states. I mean, this is like when I do the
Speaker 1 power rankings of five and seven teams in the NFL, and everyone's like, how could you rank my five and seven team below this team? It's like, dude, that's a fucking joke. Yeah,
Speaker 1 I learned today that people will... be very upset about rankings of Pennsylvania and Ohio as they relate to one another.
Speaker 1 Like people from Pennsylvania, as long as they can beat Ohio in something,
Speaker 1
then they're good, and vice versa. And I put Illinois in my second tier as a state just because I like the city of Chicago in the summertime.
But people are big mad.
Speaker 1 Apparently, Illinois is not a well-liked state, even by people that live inside of Illinois.
Speaker 1 There were people from Chicago being like, yo, Illinois is way too high. I mean, as a full-on state,
Speaker 1
it's got not a lot besides Chicago. Lovey Smith.
Yeah, Lovey Smith. Chef Maid.
I believe this started from anime and comic book Twitter. So you should do one of those and get those people going.
Speaker 1
Well, I think the Illinois thing is five tiers to be like the best, the loony tier. Wait, Where'd you rank second tier? Second tier.
That's correct.
Speaker 1 Illinois is never going to be on the same level as Californias, the Floridas, the Hawaii. Like, people with nice, warm weather and beaches and all that shit.
Speaker 1 And Louisiana. I put that on there, too.
Speaker 1 I don't know about that. Louisiana and Illinois is pretty much
Speaker 1 except less oil in Illinois.
Speaker 1
Yeah, that's true. Pretty much, I suppose.
And they fry everything in Louisiana.
Speaker 1 Yeah,
Speaker 1
both state governments are extremely corrupt. True, which is a good ⁇ that's a sign of a vital state government.
It is.
Speaker 1 You can be bought at any moment.
Speaker 1 If your government kicks so much ass that people will cheat, murder, kill, and lie to get in positions of power, that means that it's just, they just want it a lot because it's awesome.
Speaker 1 I actually had, I worked like hand in hand with a woman at the Department of Buildings in Chicago in my former life that got arrested for corruption. Department of Buildings? Yeah.
Speaker 1
That's a sick department. I mean, everyone's, yeah, everyone's got a Department of Buildings.
And my boss had to sit me down and be like, did you ever give her a bribe?
Speaker 1 And I was like, no, but I wish I had known because I would have.
Speaker 1
That actually makes you feel like shit. Yeah.
She thought that you were sitting there. Seeking more.
Speaker 1
Right. That she didn't even think to approach you to ask you for money.
I was just going in there being like, can you do this pay? Like, can you sign off this certificate of occupancy and shit?
Speaker 1
And I could have bought her off and made my life easier. That sucks.
Sucked a lot. Yeah.
Listen, if anybody out there is a bribe taker and you see me, at least solicit me for a bribe. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 Just at least be like, just give me a wink so I know.
Speaker 1 Just ask me to wet the beat. I will bribe.
Speaker 1 I probably won't, won't, but I would, it would be nice to be offered. They don't get the bribe giver never gets in trouble, right? True.
Speaker 1
No, that's true. I know how the Turkish government bribe taker is the one who gets busted.
The bribe giver is just that's doing business. Yeah, and it's also just generous.
Right. Right.
Speaker 1
Listen, here's a little pro tip to everybody out there in the business world. If it's inside of a birthday card, you can give anybody money for whatever.
That's what it was.
Speaker 1
It was like a $200 inside a birthday card when they busted it. Exactly.
It was fucking illegal. If it's inside a birthday card, it's just a present for their birthday.
Yeah. It was a thrilling moment.
Speaker 1 Oh, I'm sorry. Is it illegal in the United States of America to help somebody celebrate a birthday and to wish them a happy year of health? Yes.
Speaker 1 Dude, it was thrilling, though, to be that close to like government corruption. That is pretty much it.
Speaker 1 There. I was sitting at the doorstep and I was the idiot who didn't get involved.
Speaker 1 When I was working in Texas, one of their big Department of Agriculture people was he ran an entire industry and branch of the government that was devoted to counting peanuts, literally counting peanuts.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 Can you counter, yeah, and it turns out that the project that he was using our company for was just a big waste of money for him.
Speaker 1 So he was taking about 75% of the money he said was going to our company and just hanging on to all of it for himself. It's a pretty fucking sweet scheme if you can get it.
Speaker 1 Real sweet. And that was talking
Speaker 1 about government corruption in various states in America.
Speaker 1
All right, last up, Tuesday reading. So it's not Monday, it's Tuesday.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
same guy who fell asleep on the couch. It is Tuesday, so don't worry about it because you probably got into work and you're telling everyone how bad your Monday is.
All right.
Speaker 1 This comes from the guy named Joey Salads, who is Saladino for Congress now. Is he a fantasy fuck boy? Is he really?
Speaker 1
Is he really running for office? Yeah. Okay.
Where? Staten Island. Where do you think? Okay, Joey Salads.
So this is on the heels of the abortion debate on Twitter like two weeks ago.
Speaker 1 I would say the debate was mostly in state legislators, but yes, there was also a debate on
Speaker 1
that. Oh, people debated on Twitter.
Yes. They took it to the Twitter streets.
Speaker 1 So Joey Salads wrote,
Speaker 1
he has a tweet thread, so we'll start at the top. I have had sex thousands of times.
Fuck. Not one pregnancy.
Pullout, condom, birth control, cycle planning. That sounds like steroids, by the way.
Speaker 1
Cycle planning. But even if it all fails, I'm prepared for the girl to get pregnant because it is one of the outcomes of having sex.
Two out of those three things don't work that he said.
Speaker 1 Pull out yeah, condom and birth control. Cycle planning, I don't, you're just cycle planning is just waiting for the cycle to end.
Speaker 1 I think Joey Salad's in his mind, if a woman's on her period, he just like he stays away from women for like a week at a time. Right.
Speaker 1 Well, no, you'd want to have sex with them like while they're on their period because they can't get pregnant. Oh, yeah, good call.
Speaker 1
There's nothing more romantic than cycle planning with your girlfriend. Sperm don't swim upriver.
When can we have sex this month? Let's put it on a calendar.
Speaker 1
Really get the love going there. Yeah, if you have an app on your phone that tells you when you can fuck, that's actually the hottest thing.
Also, fuck everyone who's like, pull out.
Speaker 1
Dude, it's not that easy. Let's just say that.
You would know. It's not that, yeah.
It's not that easy. Pull outs.
Speaker 1
People who are like, oh, yeah, pull out, like, cool, man. You can control things.
Good for you.
Speaker 1 All right.
Speaker 1 Then
Speaker 1 he starts to spiral because he realizes that tweet was utterly ridiculous.
Speaker 1 He says, I love all the comments. By the way, this is a really good
Speaker 1
tale for Twitter. If someone says, I love and then something, they in fact do not love it.
Yeah, that's a Danny Connell special. I love all the comments acting like, yeah, okay, you have sex.
Speaker 1
One, you're not original. Two, I have a girlfriend.
A few exes.
Speaker 1 Wow, that's more than a couple.
Speaker 1
Three, I am 25. If you aren't having a lot of sex in your 20s, then that is just sad.
I feel like it is just people protecting their own sad sex life. I don't know about that, man.
Speaker 1 I think it's just really weird to talk about how much sex you've had on Twitter. I think it's just saying, like, you're bragging that your pull-out game is so strong.
Speaker 1 Actually, admitting that you're not. You've never gotten pregnant when
Speaker 1
your main point is just pulling out. That tells me you've got beta sperm, bro.
Yeah, you do. You got a little tiny, like, dead fish in there.
Speaker 1 Sick cycle planning, beta sperm. That's Joey's salads.
Speaker 1 He goes on to continue, by the way, I respect people who wait till marriage or the right person. Nice little throw in there.
Speaker 1 No, because he just said that if you're not having sex throughout your 20s, that's very sad. Yeah, but he's taking it back for the people who are waiting for marriage.
Speaker 1 And he said, never thought having sex with girlfriends was such a controversial thing. Doesn't everybody have sex? After seeing these left-wingers respond, I think I'm the only one.
Speaker 1
You are the only one. Yep, Joey Salads.
How does that work if you're the only person having sex? That'd be a pretty sick gag to pull in like a Truman show type thing.
Speaker 1 If Joey Salads was the main character of a Truman show and nobody else fucked, and you just taught him growing up, like, this is what you're supposed to put your penis inside a challenge.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, and he was like, fucking, and it was just not a thing. Yes, that would be funny.
Speaker 1 This is great, though, because if he's the only one having sex, then he is definitely counting masturbating as part of his thousand, right? Right and left-hand. Yes, uh, it all makes sense now.
Speaker 1 Nobody else is getting laid. And he put a posted a culture magazine article that said, Why are young people having so little sex? Fortnite.
Speaker 1 Because who wouldn't believe the classic weekly magazine article that says, Millennials have ruined X, Y, or Z? I need Joey Salads to teach a health class ASAP. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1 This is when it gets good. All seriousness, it's not thousands, but definitely over 1,000.
Speaker 1 Just by doing some quick math of how long I've been in and out of relationships and how many times we banged in a day, yeah, easy 1K.
Speaker 1 Bro, you're having sex multiple times a day? I like the idea of Joey Salads having a whiteboard pulled up behind him and he's on a speakerphone calling all his ex-girlfriends after them.
Speaker 1 Okay, how many times would you say that we fucked over the course of a day, like a good weekend day?
Speaker 1 Okay, so
Speaker 1 Cynthia, I probably fucked her 3.6 times a week for 10 weeks. That's one, all right? He's going through all the math.
Speaker 1 I'm trying to do the math.
Speaker 1 You know what he's done? He's incepted everybody to try to do their own math. Yeah.
Speaker 1 He's also basically
Speaker 1 the real-life version of our good friend Uncle Chaps when he's like, I've had sex with my wife over a thousand times.
Speaker 1 He's doing that, but for real.
Speaker 1 Point of the tweet was to just show that if you take all possible precautions, you can avoid pregnancies as much as possible, showing that it also comes from experience.
Speaker 1 I feel like my luck is running out and the odds are stacking up against my favor, so don't be surprised. He is talking during during like a no-hitter.
Speaker 1 So he's prelatedly wishing himself like, congrats on the baby that you're going to have. How funny would that be? He's playing Russian roulette, and every other chamber is filled with sperm right now.
Speaker 1
How funny would be if he was just infertile? He's like, I've just been having, like, he finds out in like five years when he tries to have kids. It's like, shit.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 I've had sex thousands of times and I thought it was just my pull-out game. My personal responsibility isn't as good as I thought it would.
Speaker 1 Maybe it's all that pre-workout that I chugged when I was 23 years old. All right, finishing up, he says, to be honest, this is all so stupid.
Speaker 1
This was supposed to be just a throwaway tweet, but everyone blew it up. LOL.
Didn't know sex was such a big deal to people. I guess it is hard for some, and that's what makes this so unbelievable.
Speaker 1
Sex is the biggest deal for everyone. Yeah.
You didn't realize that sex was a big deal, Joey Salads. It's the ultimate.
It is the deal.
Speaker 1
Also, a great way to not ever get anybody pregnant is to wear these workout shoes. And more effective.
Studies have shown
Speaker 1
that wearing these weird-looking calf-raised shoes are 99.999% effective against premature births. When you rip your Achilles, we can get scooters again.
All right, cool.
Speaker 1
Yeah, so at least we got that going, of course. I like that.
Also, a good way to not have sex is to a whole tweet thread and meltdown about how much sex you have. That is pretty good.
Speaker 1 Finishing up.
Speaker 1 So many soy boys in my mentions, like level 10 soy boys getting a huge kick out of this.
Speaker 1 He's tear makering for soy boys.
Speaker 1 What's a level 10 soy boy? That sounds like a one-man throwride, Crow. Yeah, where does Soy Boy rank above or below Pajama Boy? The guy that was like Obama tweeted out back in 2014.
Speaker 1
He's like, talk to your parents about health care this holiday season. What about Blog Boys? Are we below or above level 10 Soy Boys? I feel like Blog Boys.
Joy Boys.
Speaker 1
Joy Boys. Joy Boys, okay.
I feel like Blog Boys were above Soy Boys. You mean we're better than? Better than Soy Boys.
Not worse. I don't know what a Soy Boy is.
Speaker 1 I don't either.
Speaker 1 why is this even a thing lol oh it's just spanish for i'm a boy yes yo soy boy uh gotta turn my twitter notes off because i only get the notes from verified accounts and they all super soy that's actually your face triggers me that's a sicker brag than about how much you have sex yeah it's like i only get notifications from other verifieds
Speaker 1 jesus no wonder this guy's getting laid a meltdown i fucking love joey can are we can i vote for joey salads you have to move to staten island just be like i'm only voting for joey Salads, the sex guy.
Speaker 1
He looks like he is like 15 years too late from being in Shane O'Mac's posse for the WWE. Let's see, I'm looking forward to that.
Joey Salads, first YouTuber to run for office, two points.
Speaker 1 Oh, wow, that's good. Okay, well, first of all,
Speaker 1 how do you make the distinction of who a YouTuber is? I know.
Speaker 1 That's a great one, though.
Speaker 1
You tell me Jesse Ventura doesn't count as a YouTuber? Right, right. Oh, my God.
His hair. Look at him, dude.
He really is
Speaker 1 from the Greenwich Street posse.
Speaker 1 Okay,
Speaker 1 yeah, first YouTuber to
Speaker 1
blues. Oh, Jesus.
His bio, first YouTuber to run for office. That sounds like a line from
Speaker 1
the curse guy. Lil B.
The bass guy. Doesn't he have that in his bio, too?
Speaker 1 We got to get him on the show. Can we get Joey Salads on just to make fun of him? Oh, he definitely is one of those guys you can make fun of him, and he wouldn't realize we're making fun of him.
Speaker 1
Staten Island and Brooklyn. So, yeah, you might be able to vote for him.
Okay, I'm going to vote for Joey Salads. Yeah, he's like Pete Gass, and what's his name?
Speaker 1
Why is it Joey Abbs? Jesus. And Joey Salads.
He looks like the kind of guy that would sue McDonald's for running out of happy meals.
Speaker 1 The toys, not the actual meal. The toys.
Speaker 1 Listen, I came here because I need to get my He-Man doll with the action arm.
Speaker 1 It's false advertising. He's been playing Monopoly on McDonald's super size fries for the last 15 years.
Speaker 1 And he's gotten like 17 parked places. He's like, I'm so close.
Speaker 1 He looks like if me and Joey Fatone fuck.
Speaker 1
Joey Salads, I'm going to throw him the follow. I'm going to throw Joey Salads a follow.
Anyone who's the first YouTuber to run for office, fuck you, Joey Salads. You got me, man.
Speaker 1
I probably hate you, but you know what? Hit us up and we'll make fun of you on the show. All right, that's our show.
We'll see everyone tomorrow. Zach Efron.
love you guys.
Speaker 1 I don't know what to say, I'm saying anyway.
Speaker 1 Today's every day, I'm finding you shiny.
Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love update.
Speaker 1 My feet stone
Speaker 1 wait.
Speaker 1 Seven
Speaker 1 selling, say after me.
Speaker 1 I'd like somebody to be safe and tell me. Hey, I'm the
Speaker 1 only
Speaker 1 one
Speaker 1 to your heart.
Speaker 1 This way never is mine.
Speaker 1 You are the fans have come to remember. You shine light.
Speaker 1 Take on me.
Speaker 1 Take
Speaker 1 on me.
Speaker 1 Take up me now.
Speaker 1 I'll be on
Speaker 1 the
Speaker 1 beach.
Speaker 1 I'll make
Speaker 1 It's pardon my take presented by Barb School Sports.