Rams QB's Jared Goff And Blake Bortles, NBA Finals And SCF Live Watch

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Make plans to go out in Abercrombie, shop their newest arrivals in-store and online. On today's part of my take, we have our good friends Jared Goff and Blake Bortles, L.A.
Rams. We taped at Jared's house last week.
Very fun conversation with them blake portals all-time story about how he ended up owning a tesla we talk nba finals we got who's back of the week we have dad to dad bad visual and a monday reading a pack show of monday reading on a tuesday pack show for you to get you back in the groove after Memorial Day weekend.

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Today is Tuesday, May 28th, and the puck has just dropped, boys.

The Stanley Cup final is here.

We are live watching it.

And the first play was a total mess.

Yep, and that's our live watch. That is talking talking hockey we will update as we go along we're gonna live watch if you miss the game just listen to the entirety of this episode and you will find out exactly what happens in the first period well maybe the second period too we'll we'll let you know how everything for the record i have the over in the first period so that's gonna be fun be fun.
Okay. Hank, how excited are you? After a lot of rust.

Hank is very, very pumped for this Bruins.

His Bruins.

Very excited.

It was tough getting back on the train, you know, leaving the town and city of champions,

getting back on the train here.

But you've got to do what you've got to do.

Yeah.

Don't take so many vacations. What is it?

Five months since your last parade?

Less than that.

Less than that.

Four months.

Yeah.

Three, I think.

Well, the Stanley Cup final has started and st louis versus boston here we go um let's talk some nba the toronto raptors are going to the nba finals and the milwaukee bucks are left i feel bad for bucks fans because they really did after up 2-0 they're like this is going to be it this is awesome yeah i've been honest just shrunk in every fourth quarter situation. And the Raptors, after – I love when teams do this.
All the credit in the world to the Raptors because they probably – Kawhi probably will not stay in Toronto. But I love when teams go all in on a trade and they're like, fuck it.
We're going to go all in. We're going to put all of our chips in the middle here.
The Raptors, like, you know, you still got to win the championship championship but even still going to the final is huge for a franchise like that who's never been yeah and had always had problems getting over that big hump so credit to them and for a city too and for a city and jurassic park which i didn't even know they called that stupid plaza of tears jurassic park it actually looked fun on saturday night and jurassic park is just a kick-ass name for like an open watching environment I'll tell you who the real winner of this NBA finals okay and it might not be who you expect it is okay Skip Bayless yeah Skip Bayless is the real winner of these NBA finals no matter what happens right because if the Warriors win it's an indictment on Kawhi and Skip gets to say number two I told you he was number two uh and if theors win, it's a big win for Skip Bayless because then he can retroactively use that and say it means less that LeBron James beat that Warriors team without KD back in 2016 because Kawhi also did it. Okay.
But he still hates Kawhi a lot. And he actually, you know what? Skip is crazy, but the Kawhi stuff is real.
Kawhi did just quit on the Spurs last year. Oh, he fucked the Spurs over.
Yeah, he totally fucked him over. And I do like the Spurs, but it takes some of the sting out of it knowing that it pissed Skip Bayless off.
Yeah, that's true. So, the things I'm looking forward to for this NBA Finals, I, first of all, it's the first time the Warriors have not had home court advantage for their entire run, their dynasty run, which will be interesting.
You don't know. Kevin Durant's out for at least the first game.
So in order of things I want to happen, I want Steph to not win the MVP no matter what just so that we can keep that narrative going. It's got to go to somebody crazy.
Well, here's what would be great. Here's what would be great is if the Raptors lost and Kawhi got the MVP, then all the LeBron fans who said that LeBron should have gotten the MVP when he played great in a loss.
That would just have everyone's brain. I'm just looking for brains to explode.
That would be number one brain exploding moment for the Raptors to lose in seven and Kawhi to get the MVP. When was the last time that happened? Where a player from the team that lost.
I think we had this exact conversation two years ago. Did we not? I would love it.
Yeah, that would be amazing. All right, so that's my number one thing that I want.
Number two thing that I want is I want Durant to come back in. Jerry West.
What? Jerry West. That's right.
Oh, of course. I want Durant to come back in a way that creates the most chaos.
So I want it either to be Toronto to win the first two games and Durant to come back to save the Warriors, or for Toronto to be down 0-2 and Durant to come back and then somehow the Warriors lose game three. That's what I'm hoping for.
One way or the other, we need absolute chaos. It will bum me out if Durant comes back and it's 1-1 or it's 2-0 Warriors and he comes back and they win game three.
We need chaos. We need people to have the hottest takes possible when it comes to Durant and what he means to the Warriors.
Yeah, so KD comes back game three. They get blown out in Toronto.
No, game three would be in Golden State. They get blown the fuck out.
And KD goes for like 38. 45.
Yeah, 45. He puts out like a-out performance and they lose.
And it's like, did he throw the chemistry off this team? The Warriors are playing a less entertaining form of basketball now that Kevin Durant's back in. And then you get the questions of Steve Kerr like, are you considering maybe bringing KD off the bench in game four? Right.
And then Kevin Durant or Kevin Durant just not coming back and the Warriors winning. Yeah, that'd be good, too.
That'd be great, be great too i actually think this is going to be a competitive series i know you guys think it's going to be a quick quick work for the warriors i mean the as of right now and i would assume if kevin durant comes back he's not going to be a hundred hundred percent so with both those things the raptors have the best all-around player in this series but he's he's looked like he's kind of too. Kawhi? Yeah.
No. Well, he doesn't get hurt.
He only gets fake hurt and then quits on his team. Yeah.
He's fine. I'm also looking forward to what Charles Barkley's body does after a week's worth of poutine.
Yeah, they won't be. I think it's on ESPN and ABC.
Charles Barkley is going to be eating poutine this week. Do you think he'll go to the game? I don't know, but he's going to be eating poutine.
Just because? He's going to be watching the coverage, and they're going to talk about this great Canadian dish that's just carbs, gravy, and cheese, and Charles is going to be like, I'm in. That's always the saddest part when the conference finals end and they end the year.
All those guys are like, sign off for the year. It's always very sad.
So the NBA on TNT, they're going fishing. Yes, they go fishing after the conference finals.
Yeah, I like that. What they should do is they should just pretend like they have the rights to the series.
And just show up. And do a halftime show and all that stuff.
Yeah, and just put it up there. Just put it up there.
Yeah, just no highlights whatsoever. What obscure musical bands or musical acts are we going to see make their return? Drake.
Snow. Oh.
Drake. Is he still alive? Fact check, I think you asked the question where you already had the answer ready.
No, I didn't. Oh.
No, I'm just saying, like, what do you think? Because they always bring some musical guest. What's that fucking band in...
Tragically Hip. Yeah, that everyone loves.
Yeah, there we go. Tragically Hip.
Yeah, sure. No, that is.
That's the band that everyone loves in Canada. Alanis Morissette.
I was actually going through my brain a couple seconds ago trying to think of what the most famous Canadian musicians are. And I thought it was the Flaming Lips, but they're from Oklahoma City.
Okay. They're the most Canadian Oklahoma band of all time.
Yeah. So Alanis Morissette, Jim Carrey, Biebs.
He's not allowed back in Canada, though. What? D.Y.? No, I thought they basically were like, no, I think it was I think it was the monkey thing Remember when he owned a monkey He's from Canada I know They said that we don't want him Owning a monkey Will get you banned from Canada for life No his monkey got him in trouble At some point His monkey wouldn't apologize Some airport His monkey got him in trouble I'm doing the thing where I'm combining like four stories into one Yeah But it sounds good right good, right? That was Dan Bilzerian.
Yeah. No.
Justin Bieber tried to get back into Canada with a monkey, and the monkey was just screaming racist shit. And they're like, nope, you're not allowed in.
You're not allowed back in. Yeah.
That's what happened. That's definitely what happened.
So, yeah. I'm excited for it.
I actually think it's going to be a good series. I hope it is because I need this block of my June to get filled up with sports somehow.
Well, okay. So here's the hope for the Raptors.
What are you supposed to do in June if there's no sports on? Women's World Cup. Yeah, but that's not until later.
Well, getting ready for the Women's World Cup. Yeah, mentally preparing for the Women's World Cup.
Yes, getting pumped up for it. The Raptors, Kawhi's the best all-around player in the series.
Kyle Lowry might be not terrible all the time. Fred Van Vliet has been awesome since he had a kid.
Yeah, I saw that stat. That's been huge.
So getting your nut on confirms makes you a better athlete. That's been huge.
I've already seen some people be like, hey, the Raptors can really rough up the Warriors, which is my favorite. I love when teams are like, you know, hey, what's the key to beating this supremely talented, exceptional team? Well, we just got to beat them up.
Beat the fuck out of them. I don't think that's going to work.
But I love that storyline of like, hey, if we just let Marc Gasol just foul everyone, maybe it will work. Are the Warriors soft? Yeah.
We're going to find out. Attack the rim and foul them.
Yeah. That will work.
Dive at their knees. Yes.
That's definitely going to – the rough up Steph Curry thing has been – like you just got to run him through – you know, when he's running through picks, you got to throw an elbow at him. You got to really just run at him.
You got to rough him up. He doesn't like contact.
And it's like, oh, wait, Steph just shot – like he just hit 35 on, you know, like eight for 10 from three. Concussing Steph Curry is the best way to beat the Warriors, I think.
Just choke him out. The Warriors should be smart and just roll boogie out there.
I don't care if he's hurt or injured or whatever. Let him go out there on crutches and just have him beat the fuck out of him.
Fire with fire. Yeah.
Also, did you see that Steve Kerr was having dinner with Pop? So he was getting all the Kawhi dirt. He was downloading Kaawaii's data go after his fake injured quad uh-huh that's by the way that's my new uh fake business term and i guess it's like slang jargon whatever for uh if you work in an office you now say uh i'm gonna download you on something oh yeah we got like i'm gonna give you the information yeah we got that here remember that time um we won't name names but someone said uh some new hire at barstool hit up me and pft was like hey when's a good time that we can i can download what you guys are working on yeah like what the fuck well for kawaii that actually works because he does run on software yes yes he's plugged him into a wall outlet yeah here you go just cram a usb drive up his ass and you've got the keys to beating him.
Oh, wow.

The Blues just scored.

Damn.

I literally looked up.

I haven't watched a second of it.

One more goal.

Hank.

Then I'm in the money.

Hank's a little bit nervous.

Instant reaction.

Hank.

Rest versus rust.

Download us on your thoughts.

Got to have better D.

Okay.

Can't let him have such open shots.

There you go.

That's some weak D.

D game weak.

All right.

We're going to watch the replay real quick.

And he's in the corner.

Couldn't clear the puck, Hank, is what they actually were looking for.

Got to clear the puck. Got to get the puck out of the zone.
You do have to clear the puck. And the juicy rebound doesn't help.
A lot of juicy rebounds right in front of the net. You got to clear out the front of the net.
You got to get that shit out of there, man. If you're a defender in the NHL and there's a guy that's in front of your net, you got to level.
That will be electric for people listening tomorrow. there's definitely one person out there guy who

drank too much Memorial Day weekend and went to sleep at like 6 p.m. Please tweet us tomorrow and be like, thank you for redoing the game live.
And he probably isn't a hockey fan, so he's just listening like, oh, I'm about to find out what happens. That is like one of the more relatable things.
You're probably, I'm talking to you directly right now, guy. You are probably like 24, 25.
You've been working in the cubes for three years. So you have that – the occasional day off.
You probably have like five days total of vacation day because your boss fucks you over. So when you get the extra day off on Memorial Day, you really go crazy.
You take advantage. And then you're sunburned.
You're like a lobster. You're hungover.
You sat down on the couch with the purpose of I'm going to watch the hockey game. And then you woke up at four in the morning confused as fuck on the couch, really, really thirsty.
And now you're here listening to us tell you what's happening. I want to say a top three feeling in life is waking up on that Saturday morning of a three-day weekend and realizing that you're basically on a free play friday right now how about us so great how about us having a sunday off it was nice oh also i'd like to play a video game i made it to the pga tour in a fucking video game congratulations thank you i'd like to say hands up um are bad for not properly communicating our podcast release schedule because i thought on sunday morning i woke up and i thought about texting you guys and being like, hey, we should probably tweet out that there's not going to be a show tomorrow because every Memorial Day we do the schedule, the Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday schedule, but we didn't say anything about it during Grit Week.
And then I just kind of forgot about it. I'm going to go the opposite.
It's one of those the real ones know. The real ones know.
Right. We always Memorial Day and Labor Day, we go Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday.
So we have Zac Efron coming on Wednesday. By the way, speaking of which, Blake Bortles and Jared Goff and Zac Efron tomorrow, if you want to watch the interviews, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Make sure you use that URL too. Yes, you can watch all of our podcasts, including all the interviews we did, Grit Week.

So let's just say Zac Efron put his – he went two knuckles deep into my belly button.

That's a moment you're going to want to watch.

Yeah, he got your G-spot.

Yeah, he tickled the bottom of my balls.

All right, let's do Who's Back of the Week.

Hank, why don't you start?

My Who's Back of the Week is lacrosse.

Oh, really?

You must have loved watching the game.

Yeah, it was riveting. I was keeping up with my phone via Twitter.
Oh, really? You were keeping up with your phone? On my phone, yeah. I was traveling.
Interesting. But, I mean, it was scrolling, hitting refresh, and just seeing the updates of what the score was.
It was riveting. Another huge win for lacrosse.
Virginia beat Yale. Virginia is just pretty much the Boston of colleges.
Those are two real scrappy hadn't won teams going to the finals yeah Yale versus UVA I love it I watched uh Hank I told you I tried to watch uh I fell asleep in the first quarter I woke up I watched a little bit of the second quarter they had the Yale Bulldog that was cool handsome Dan and then the Cubs game started and I was too lazy to get up and find the remote for my bottom two TVs so I I just watched the Cubs game instead. You know what? But I did watch like 10 minutes of lacrosse.
It was fucking sweet. You know what they really need to do in lacrosse? They need to make the goals worth more than one point.
Oh, that's an easy. It's an easy fix for baseball, too.
If you want to draw more attention to your sport, like in football, a touchdown is really one score, but it's worth six, which makes the final score look so much cooler in lacrosse. If every goal was worth like five points and the final score was 100 to 98, hell yeah.
Did you know there's a shot clock in lacrosse? Yeah. How many seconds is it? A few.
It's more than one. 80.
That's what I learned from watching that one corner of lacrosse. How do they know if it's a shot or not? I don't know.
I didn't watch long enough to figure it out. I think I only watched 79 seconds of it.
There should be a swag clock in lacrosse because that's basically what most of the highlights that I've ever seen from the sport are. Just like some dude doing something kind of swaggy and shaking his lettuce out and pointing at somebody as he runs by him.
PC, you ask what sports can keep you going in the middle of June. Well, the Premier Lacrosse League starts on June 1st.

We might make you just be a beat writer for one of the teams.

That would be my dream come true.

What's the New York team called?

The New York Braves.

New York's.

Chaos.

Oh, Chaos.

I actually don't know.

Wait, let's read the names of this fucking league.

What is it?

The Hank Lacrosse Minute is going to be a must listen. The Lacrosse League.
I'm just Googling the Archers. Premier Lacrosse.
The Archers. The Archers, is that they're all named Archer? The Atlas.
What? Chaos. See, I don't like when they do that shit.
You're supposed to say like the Atlasize or the Atli. Don't make me see them.
Atlases. The Redwoods.
Oh, Chicago's got a team. Oh, Chicago is the chaos.

And the Whipsnakes.

The Whipsnakes.

Chicago is the chaos.

That's fucking sick.

Wait, the Outlaws?

The New York Lizards?

No.

No, the Baltimore's got the Lizards.

I'm reading a different...

The Major League Lacrosse?

No, Premier Lacrosse.

Oh, wait.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, wait.

There's no...

Chicago doesn't have a team?

Why is there a guy in a Chicago Chaos jersey? Yeah, no, there is. Chicago Chaos.
Battle the Archers. What's the Chaos? One of the teams should just be the trust funds.
What's the Whipsnakes? That's so stupid. Yeah.
Yeah. The Yachts.
The Yachts. The Vineyard Vines.
All right. Well, Hank loves lacrosse.
The lacrosse bros don't get mad at us We have one third of the show loves lacrosse I like real sports like rugby Any others Hank? I know it's it Just the one My who's back of the week is aliens Aliens are back And they're back in a big way The Navy released a lot of documents Got documents right here The New York Times did a big report about how they've spotted i think like a dozen ufos off the east coast over the last few years because they can report them now more yeah they're allowed to report them they let them report this they created a self-report like a see something say something yeah alien hotline yes the new york times is all over it wait no but these are like navy fighters and navy uh navy right we can talk about aliens we can talk about it now um they've opened it up they're all over the news i'm loving it uh all the footage looks awesome watching them do radar locks on ufos that's probably really smart thing to do it's kind of like it's kind of tough to be like hey check out all these ufos right when drones get really serious, right? Yeah, very interesting.

Very confusing.

I've got a couple excerpts here.

According to the New York Times, they say from the article, you have reached your monthly limit of free articles.

Nice.

And then the New York Times goes on to say, we noticed you're using an incognito web browser.

Would you like to subscribe to the New York Times starting at just $1 a month?

They got us again.

Yeah.

That's two times in a row, two weeks in a row where we've gotten the first sentence out of the New York Times. I didn't even get that.
No, the last one was Wall Street Journal. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they did the whole paywall thing. But it's kind of preposterous that there are all these UFO and alien sightings out there, and we're not talking about it.
That's what happens. Well, we are.
You know what they should do? They should actually wait to release this information when there's not good sports on during that lapse in June. Yeah.
Because right now it's like, bro, we're debating if Kawhi Leonard is good or not. Wait, what about drone racing? Drone racing.
What about it? Have you watched it? It's electric. They should get that on TV some more.
Agreed. Yeah.
Agreed. But those aren't UFOs, are they? No, no, no.
But I'm just saying you jogged my memory of drone racing. I watched it one Saturday morning, hung over on, I think, NBC Sports or something, and it was awesome.
You know what's sick? Better or worse than lacrosse championship. Way better.
I didn't fall asleep. Yeah.
They also use neon colors and dark and strobe lights, and so it's very visually appealing that way. The problem with lacrosse is I just want it to be football.
They do half the football. They dress in the pads.
They kind of hit each other. You see the players there rumbling and stumbling all over the place today.
It was amazing. I don't understand in lacrosse when you are and aren't allowed to hit each other.
Right. If you're going to have pads on, you should always do that.
No, that's not true. Not true, Hank.
Longstick's not allowed to hit. Longstick.
If you've got the longstick. Is that the goalie? No, it's the defense.
The goaltender? Is it a goaltender or a keeper? I like goalie. I got a guy who broke his hand playing LaCosta.
I do like how the goalies wear sweatpants. That's cool.
That is very cool. Okay.
It's very relatable. Instantly back on with the Premier LaCosta.
You got another one? I do. My other who's back of the week is pools.
Pools are back. Big weekend for pools opening.
Gambling? Oh, no. No, pools.
Pools. Pools all over America.
Memorial Day weekend. Big, big weekend of the year to go sit in a bunch of strangers' urine for only $9 a month.
Not bad. Which is actually a fucking great price.
Some people charge triple that. I'm excited about it.
But also, who's back in the week is people shitting in pools. Ugh.
So, yeah. That happens? That's always tough.
It happens. Yeah, a lot.
Y lot. What pools are you going in? It's also, well, so my pool is always too crowded because I live in a neighborhood with a bunch of do-gooders and a bunch of people that are real early risers, like a lot of families.
So my pool is typically filled by 9 o'clock in the morning when I haven't even finished my last wet drink yet. You've got to go out and put a bunch of uh towels towels works go to put towels put towels out there like 6 30 in the morning then go sleep for another four hours our traffic cones yeah just put traffic cones on the benches people are like these traffic cones are these uh these benches are broken i think because there's orange shit just go break everything yeah and be like well i guess i can sit here or i poop in the pool first thing and then everybody else leaves i'm like it's my poop so it's sterile to me At one o'clock, you can just show back up and be like, well, I guess I can sit here.
Or I poop in the pool first thing, and then everybody else leaves. And I'm like, it's my poop, so it's sterile to me.
At 1 o'clock, you can just show back up and be like, oh, you guys cleaned it already? Yeah. The biggest sign of dominance you can do is to take a crap.
In another man's pool. Yeah.
You know what else? Who's back of the week is ignoring the signs on pools that say, if you have had diarrhea in the last month, you're not allowed to swim here. That's not a real sign.
Yeah. It's a sign in a lot of places.
Really? And everyone ignores it. Okay.
Because I don't think I've ever gone a month without diarrhea. Yeah, there's never been a month.
Yeah. There's never been a week.
It pretty much tells me the only people using those pools have the worst taste in food. Right.
And just eat boiled chicken and rice like a dog recovering from a stomach injury. A lot of cheese, yeah.
Yeah. Just plug them up.
All right. I got two who's backs.
First one is Bartolo Colon was back for about four seconds. Then he's not.
I saw that. But here's the good news.
I think that this is how you get back. Wait, how did you think he was back? Well, I saw a tweet saying that he was signed with the Tigers, and then everyone's like, that's fake news.
He's not. But I think someone from Bartolo Colon's camp started this.
Now we're talking about him. now everyone's like, that's fake news.
He's not. But I think someone from Bartol Cologne's camp started this.
Now we're talking about him. Now everyone's like, ooh, he's out there? In the biz, they call that a trial balloon.
He can be had? Yeah, he just floated out there and see where he goes. And by the way, not to credit us, but let's credit us.
We started this like a week ago when we just started talking about him. So he is going to be back.
It's a pre-laden back. I'm also thinking pre-laden back is Tim Tebow because the Mets have to bring him up at some point.
He's so bad, dude. Just stop.
But they're going to sell so many tickets. Just stop.
He's so bad. I don't like the Mets, and I would go to several Mets home games this year.
He's so bad. All right.
My other who's back is Death Twitter. Big weekend for Death Twitter.

So we had the passing of Bart Starr, Bill Buckner, Auburn radio guy, Rod Bramblitt, who tragically passed in a car accident. And all these deaths, obviously, you know, deaths are sad, but people don't know how to handle it on Twitter.
And we had the weirdest one was people responding to Rod Bramlett's last tweet from like two days ago being like, hey, Florida fan here always respected you. Rest in peace to his tweet.
Yeah. Never got that.
And then, of course, we had the people trying to make things way too personal. The Peter King.
Darren Revell tweeted about Bill Buckner's death. Bill Buckner's death comes with unexpected guilt.
The guilt of eight-year-old me, who thanks in part to his error, got his only major sports championship. Rest in peace, Bill.
I'm sorry my joy came with your pain. Thank you, Darren.
What a nice moment. Thank you for that, Darren.
As a Mets fan, let me just say I'm sorry that he's dead. And the more common thing with Buckner, who was actually a great baseball player.
Yes. But everybody was saying, like, he should not be remembered for the error against the Mets.
But that's how they were remembering him. Right.
By announcing that. By saying it out loud.
But, yeah, it's always funny. I always get a little chuckle out of people's response to deaths on Twitter.
Because you really – the lesson here is don't tweet. Because either you're the guy who's like chasing for retweets and likes, or the guy who makes it way too personal, or the creepy guy who replies to the dead person's last tweet that's like going to the store to get some milk, and then you reply to it being like, sorry you died.
What? What the fuck? I just want to say that if I pass away, feel free to use like any picture with me as as clout chasing for yourself. Like really gun for those retweets.

I want you to reply to my last tweet.

Probably.

I don't know about how Swag Kelly is criminal underrated or some stupid shit like that.

I want you to reply saying, hey, skip.

Yeah, there you go.

That that are like, hey, Bill Simmons fan coming in peace here. Simmons fan coming in peace here I didn't like part of my take but I just want to say the world's the worst place without PFT's dumb shit takes that guy from Kansas City I don't think we even told that story the guy who we met in Kansas City who came up to us weirdest fucking story ever this guy comes up to me in PFT at Kansas City after we finished interviewing Patrick Mahomes.
We're at George Brett's restaurant. He comes up to us.
He goes, that was a Mike Wilbon level name drop right there. What? We just finished interviewing Patrick Mahomes and we were at George Brett's restaurant.
You were there too. I know.
I know. I understand.
You slid it in there seamlessly. Well, it's not a name drop if everyone knows we interviewed him.
So we interviewed. So we were at the bar and a guy comes up to us.
He's like, hey, guys, I'm not a fan of your show, but all my friends are. Can I get a picture? And we're like, you could have just lied, dude.
And he's like, well, I really just like Russillo. So when he's on, I listen to that.
But otherwise, I don't listen to your show. But, yeah, can I get a picture? We're like, again, you could just lie.
Yeah. I told him, next next time just lie to me the man I think he even said like my friends are fans of yours oh that was the goal Hank you can't do that on the live broadcast that guy that just woke up is gonna be so confused he's gonna be so good I'm sorry about Hank we're sorry guys the Bruins are on a power play there was no goal but end of the story the guy came up to just said, yeah, I know of you guys, but I'm not a fan.
But can I get a picture? But in the ultimate win, he was wearing Coke bottle glasses that made him look like a 1970s serial killer. So, of course, he'd listen to Russillo's show.
Yeah, I want you to say, hey, PFT, I'm a big Bleacher Report fan, but I'm still sorry about your death. I know of you guys.
Yeah, find my worst take and reply to that. Yeah.
Find the take that aged poorly the most and reply to that en masse so I can get ratioed. That's the other thing is you're basically ratioing the guys last week.
Posthumously ratioing somebody. Yeah, it's fucked up, dude.
It's fucked up. Yeah.
That's a fucked up way to deal with someone dying. Okay, my last who's back, the New Zealand Breakers, our team, our basketball team.
Not for the reason you think they're back. We signed Mello? So we did not sign Mello.
That was fake news. But there is big news coming.
And if you're listening to this right now before, I'd say about 8.30 in the morning, you probably don't know the news yet. If you know it after, then now you know the news.

Holy shit, that was crazy, wasn't it?

Because we're owners and we're in the know.

We're owners.

We're in the know.

This is just us doing a quick segment to let you know that we know that you don't know.

All right.

Let's get to our interview.

We got Jared Goff and Blake Bortles.

Hank, I don't know if we can get the wheels back on here.

I hope my funeral gets ratioed, though. That's a good thing at a funeral, right? If you have a lot of people that stand up to speak.
Yeah. Like they're ratioing your corpse in real life.
Well, no, that's just an annoying funeral. Oh, I like that.
No. I like that about funerals.
No one wants to go to the wedding or funeral where they do like – anyone else want to say something? No. And like 15 people come up.
Because then you get – That's the worst. You get to find out like the deepest, weirdest parts of the person's life that you didn't know about.
Oh, that's the worst, though. You're just sitting there like, come on, can we go to the bar, please? And we'll drink around.
We'll have a beer and be like, ha ha, cheers to them. Yeah.
And then go about our day. Every cop movie has to have two things in it.
One, a funeral where people stand and drink and tell stories about how he was a good cop around the corpse and then the other is a pogue song that that finishes out the funeral and that was the ending of the wire yep there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites every ingredient is carefully chosen every recipe made with a purpose their oven gold turkey smoke master ham and ever roast chicken are made from premium whole cuts hand trimmed and perfectly seasoned last weekend i made the ultimate sandwich oven gold turkey cheese pickles and mustard simple but unbelievable so next time you're at the deli, don't settle, get the best. Boar's Head, committed to craft since 1905.
Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at boarshead.com. Here he is.
Here they are. Jared Goff, Blake Bortles.
Okay, Grit Week interviews are presented by Body Armor. Go drink Body Armor right now.
It is delicious. It's nutritious.
It's our favorite drink. We are here in L.A.
with Jared Goff, Blake Bortles, the entire – who's the other – Sean Mannion still? No, he's in Minnesota. That's awkward.
It would be Brandon Allen and John Wolford. Okay, so we're half of the – B.A.
and Wolfie. Yeah, we're half of the Rams quarterback room.
We're going to start, though, with the question, what is grit? How do you define grit? A lot of people have been saying California guys don't have grit. Is that right? Yeah.
A lot of SoCal isn't gritty. What are you guys doing here? Kind of talk.
I mean, grit is like just being in the dirt dirt i guess like i think of like dirt i think of like a like a muddy field yeah like oh close your eyes or like or like it's like 100 degrees out in like a summer practice and you don't have much grass on the field and it's like dusty dusty yeah yeah dusty pants because it's close to global warming super dry you got dust dust in the mouth. California's in a drought.
Yes, exactly. Hopefully no more wildfires.
We'll break no more fires. Well, actually, if there are wildfires, Jared Goff will put it out.
That's right. Because people forget he put out a wildfire.
You know? Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you guys for your service. With a half a bottle of Dasani.
That's right. Saves California.
All right, Blake, what's grit for you? Go ahead. Grit to me is kind of more like an acronym.
Getting raunchy in the trenches. Oh, okay.
With two T's. G-R-I-T-T.
Grit. Just like thection Boys.
What about getting raunchy in the Tesla? Because we saw your new fancy California car. We got to do that.
Yeah. So Blake's driving an electric car.
What's up with that? A Tesla. So the plan was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore.
So now I just go to the gas station just to buy dip. That's a very expensive way to quit dipping, but more power to you.
Yeah. I actually thought you were joking when I first saw it.
I thought it was like you were messing around. Like, oh, I'm in California.
I'm going to rent a Tesla. I also wanted to fit in.
But I have a pickup truck back in Jacksonville, and I was like, I don't really want to bring that up to California. Right.
So I figured I'd buy something where I could fit in. So have you gone to the gas station? Wait, how does it – you just plug it in at home? Yeah, and there's a charger at the facility.
So when you drive to work to the Rams facility, do you actually drive or do you just do auto? No, I just get on the highway, and you double-click the thing twice, and it just drives you all the way. So you're just sitting there scrolling through your phone? Yeah, I kind of check the news and see what's going on.
That's incredible. It beeps every 60 seconds and you got to touch the wheel.
Just to let you know you're alive? Yeah. You can't take a nap or something.
You can eat breakfast in your car on the way to work. You can, yeah.
That's pretty sweet. Tell them how you bought it.
That actually... Wait, but hold on.
Before you tell us how you bought it, that actually seems like the perfect car to be able to dip in. Perfect.
You don't have to worry about your hands, like where the bottle is. There's no more like the bottle between your hands.
Yeah, you ended up trying to pull one out while you're like mid-driving. So technically, yeah, you should probably pick it up.
Very safe. You ended up getting like a trip chamber just for dipping.
That's what the Tesla is. should market themselves like that yeah put out a camo version of the car i think the vendetta a mossy oak tesla yeah the vendetta gram of people who dip and people on teslas probably don't touch probably just blake yeah just blake portals standing there all right so tell us the story how you bought it so i needed like an suv because i like i have a truck and like i wanted something like a tahoe or you know something like that just to drive around and i was kind of looking at websites and then i ended up on the tesla website and it was like you know design your own so i'm like i'm gonna see what i can do here and then i got to the last page and there was a buy now button and i was like well i gotta hit this i got a call immediately like hey congratulations on your Tesla purchase.
It uh it's like nike id shoes yeah right like sneakers up customize my own and then uh yeah so i guess that's kind of how they're doing it now so did you have to like enter a credit card number for the buy it now button or it was just like on your honor i immediately called me it was just like i'll send over the wiring instructions oh my god all we got one. So there's no negotiation as far as the price goes.
No, no, there was none. We should have to buy it now.
Yeah, see how long it takes. They'll call us and I'll just be like, psych.
Yeah, it's in the mail. Don't worry.
You'll get it. You'll get it.
All right. So, Jared, we need to talk about some stuff.
Before the Super Bowl, Hank, our producer, has said a lot of mean things about you. Well, I just want to say for the record.
I actually don't know what he said. Yeah, we'll get to it.
I think we've got some exact quotes, but we're not the type of guys that would talk, crash behind somebody's back and not say it to their face. So we're going to have Hank.
We had your back. Yeah.
Hank, do you want to read the exact quotes of what you said you have the exact quotes i would love to read oh no yeah jared goff no reads too much barstool to win a super bowl that's that's what he said not what i said whatsoever i think of anyone that's listening to the show knows i've been the biggest jared supporter jared knows i've been the biggest supporter well except for that one week all we had we they asked what my take on the show was and I said, Jared Goff reminds me of my friends. He's very similar to my friends.
I could not see any of my friends taking down Belichick and Tom Brady. Damn.
Wow. That was the truth.
For the record, I'm sorry. I bet on you.
Oh, there we go. Very good point.
Just kidding, Hank. Just kidding.
All right, so we got... Mortal enemies.
You want to apologize, Hank? I'm sorry. I've seen Hank wear the color rust jersey all the time.
I know he's on board. Yeah, that's true.
He does. Are you going to say sorry, though? I mean, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt.
I was just giving my... No, no, no.
His feelings weren't hurt. Don't do that.
Are you sorry? All right, then I'm not sorry. Are you sorry for what you said? No.
Like, in retrospect, it was kind of mean. Say sorry.
It was true. It was is does brady have you in his guest house right now no okay i disagree i think that you don't read enough barstool yeah all right yeah i think if you had read a little bit more than you would have won yeah ease of mind i'm sorry that big cat and pft are trying to come in between us jared it's okay you're forgiven all right give them give the mic back to blink give it.
Thanks, Hank. Thanks for nothing.
Let's do the real Super Bowl talk just to get out of the way. How long was it pretty big bummer? I mean, the first few days sucks.
It really sucked a lot because you think about they only Like, oh, all we had to do was score 11 points,

we would win the game.

But I think you know how much preparation you put into it

and know how much hard work you put into it

and live with that.

And, you know, hopefully we can get back

and get another chance at it.

You know, it's always hard,

but hopefully, you know, soon we can get another chance at it.

Can I say two spin zones for you?

One is you guys looked fucking sweet in those uniforms.

There you go.

So, like, that's a big thing to me is, me is if you look at a picture and you're like,

that looked sweet.

That was cool.

And the Super Bowl patch and stuff.

And number two, you didn't cry like Blake did after the AFC Championship game.

Blake didn't cry.

He scored a water in his face.

He scored a water in my eyes.

Yeah.

I tried not to.

Well, you guys are like the – I haven't seen the Avengers,

so I don't even know if I'm speaking correctly here. But you guys are like the Avengers for teams that the Patriots beat.
You guys are now going to join forces the last two seasons. I don't know.
Did the Avengers... Did Bill collect stones from you? Did he take any stones from you when he beat you? No? I don't think so.
Did you actually end up going back and watching the game yet? Oh, yeah. Yeah, after the next day really oh yeah that's torture no i mean i i knew what i mean it wasn't like i forgot what happened it was just watch the game see what happened see what you could better and move on you know i was yeah go ahead that probably helps the move on period right right did you pull the band-aid off did you watch it with McVay? Not the whole thing.
No, I don't think so. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
No, because the next day or so, we have a meeting, like an exit meeting, and then you're pretty much done. I watched it, I think, the first, it was like four days in a row after the Super Bowl.
They played it every single night on NFL Network, and I just missed football so much that I just kept watching it, thinking maybe more points would get scored this time. Well, you know what's good I've actually thought about is, like, good Super Bowls get replayed on NFL Network.
There's a spin zone. Ours probably won't.
Won't. Wasn't very exciting.
Here's a real one. I was the big loser.
I bet the over. Yeah.
So that was incredible. I i mean that's the worst performance of anyone on super bowl sunday the over what was it yeah it was pretty you missed it by what i missed it by so many damn high it was never even close it was insane um but so what's the what's the vibe now like in the ram facility you guys are all back together now it like, let's get this back together? Yeah, I feel good.
Feel good. I mean, added some good pieces on defense with Weddle and Clay Matthews.
Oh, yeah, I forgot, Eric. Feel good.
Feel really good. You know, we're starting tomorrow, real practice, I guess, really going against our defense and see where we're at.
Blake's been great. Blake's been a lot of fun.
Yeah, so what's that like, having Blake in the room? It's been good. You know, just being friends with him and then like you guys talked about, being doing AFC championships.
It's not able. Has it reached one of those points where it's like your best friend is on a sleepover with you for like four nights in a row and you start to get sick of each other yet? Not yet.
No, we've been pretty fun. It's been good.
We haven't actually slept over yet, but when that happens, maybe. Yeah, why didn't you do the guest house? Because if you do the guest house, then you get like...
Robbie's been occupied. But then you end up with like a Peter King story being like, these two guys are having...
Jared's having a great year, and Blake is living with their best friends. This is fucking awesome.
And everyone does a puff piece. And Michelle Tafoya's like, can you believe it? These guys live together.
Basically, we just love NFL narratives so much that we think you should sacrifice your lives. He did offer.
I did offer. He told me you had an extra bed.
And you said no? I said I live down the street, outside of the gated neighborhood. Okay.
I like that. So he's close, but not too close.
Right. Humble.
Yeah. Outside the gate.
Kind of hurts. Are there any plays in the offense this year where you guys are both going to be on the field at the same time? No, that's when requested, though.
Yeah, and consider it requested again for me. When you talk to Sean later in the week, he controls that.
Yes, I will absolutely let him know. We're going to time travel with that because we talked to Sean before.
We've already talked to him, and he's already installed the play. Okay, yeah.
Well, then when you talked to him a few days ago, you let him know that. Yeah, okay.
Exactly. I will have done that.
Blake, new teammates. How has your breath been with them? It's been good.
Fucking Leonard. I haven't noticed anything.
Yeah. That's never been a thing.
Well, there was a thing. No, I think it's been good.
I've been conscious of it, though. So, like, I brush my teeth at least twice before I go.
Twice in the morning? Well, you got all that time. And then there's mouthwash in the facility, so I use that.
And yeah, it's been strong. Because that would be like, I mean, new teammates.
You can't show up with bed breath. You can't be bed breathed.
Like introducing yourself with bed breath. Yeah.
We had you on since you left the Jaguars, right? Have you kept in touch with any of those guys? Yeah, I still talk to some of them. I mean, a couple of those guys I played with for five years or so.
So I have a lot of good friends there and, you know, obviously wish them the best and keep up with them. Yeah.
I noticed that you were shooting some looks over when Brooks Koepka FaceTimed in earlier today. Are you feeling threatened that he might be encroaching on your Blake-ness? Yeah.
Well, I mean, until just recently they found out there was only one guy to worry about. Now there's two.
Yes. This guy's winning championships left and right.
Yeah. How do you feel about us crowning him an honorary Blake? I'm okay with that.
I guess.

It's more competition. Right.

As long as the competition stays the same.

Did you hear that

just the call? Yeah, that's all.

As long as that's the competition,

I'm okay.

Did you... We had Blake Griffin

on in I think February or something. He said

that guys have been coming up

in the middle of a game. He was

shooting free throws and guys were like,

hey, good luck with Blake of the year. So it's getting pretty like yeah the guys is getting up.
I told you earlier I got a text from like a random number which whenever I call in like it goes to a random number and it said Blake of the year starting now go and I just immediately replied like ready let's ready, let's do it. And it was just some random person.
Somebody from Germany like messing with me. Getting you iron sharp and tired.
Yeah, no, I kind of appreciate it. I said thanks.
Yes, yes. Keeping me sharp, so.
Jared, what's it like being rich now that you got the fifth year? Oh, man, it's great. Yeah.
Great. Feels good.
That's the thing. I haven't seen those checks yet, but it's good.
Yeah. Blake, you know about the fifth year.
Oh, yeah. Fifth year's a big one.
Yeah, that's the one you got to get. That's the money.
Fifth is good. So you're here on a one-year deal? Yeah.
Is that right? I'm on a one-year deal. And so then you're going to become a head coach somewhere after working with Sean McVay for a year.
Yeah, I mean, that's kind of the track. Yeah, so probably like Detroit or something next year, $3 million.
I mean, really anywhere would be fine. Did you meet with him before you signed the deal? I forget what you said, because I know you blew him off for dinner.
With McVay? Yeah. Well, I had already signed, so dinner was kind of irrelevant at that point.
I figured he'd rather spend his night doing something else. Did he have to sell you on this, or were you just like, it's L.A.? Yeah, no, not really.
I mean, I've spent a good amount of time out here, obviously known jared for a while and um coming out here i'm walking around the facility you know a bunch of guys on the team and meeting with the coaches it was kind of like this is this is where i want to be when's the new facility open when is the stadium the new facility stadium is not this season but the next one and the facility is tbd oh interesting yeah that's a good question yeah there's another one that's another one you can ask sean a ago. Yes, a few days ago we will have asked him.
He's micromanaging all that. Yeah, he's probably going to have a hard hat on and his clipboard and construction vest.
Yeah, so it's the NFL Network facility and the Rams facility that's going to be together. Yeah.
Seems a little bit incestuous, doesn't it? No, our stadium will host them, essentially.

Our stadium complex will have NFL Network in it.

So Roger McDowell is going to be your roommate, basically.

Mm-hmm.

Not where we practice, where we play our games.

Your locker will be right next to Rich Eisen.

Potentially.

Yeah.

He wears really, like, kind of weird sweaters all the time.

Big cardigan guy, yeah.

Yeah.

He's a good guy.

He's good.

He's okay.

Are you guys going overseas?

He's like, whatever. You guys going overseas this year? We do.
We go to London. Okay.
And Hawaii. That's why I can help you with that.
Blake's going to be a tour guide over there. We do go to Hawaii for a preseason game.
You go to Hawaii? Preseason game in Hawaii. That's why Blake signed with the Rams.
Yeah. He's like, okay.
Yeah. Want to make sure we still go to London and Hawaii.
Yeah. Smart man.
Do you have a passport? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You probably had to get one before Mexico City last year, too, right? Yeah. Yeah.
You've had one for a while. I've had one.
Yeah. What was the prep like for Mexico City? Because it's like twice as tall as Denver.
Well, we went to Colorado. Yeah, that's right.
It was actually during all the fires. Yeah.
So it kind of worked out for us to go out there just to be out of the smoky area. And then we got out there, and two days later it was like, hey, the game's going to be back in L.A.
It was actually, there was a plane of family members leaving to go like coaches-wise and stuff leaving the moment the news broke. Holy shit.
And they're like, well, what are we doing? Now we should go back home. But no, it was good.
We trained out in Colorado at Air Force Academy for a week and came back and beat the chiefs game of the year yeah it was fun game of the great game yeah um what happened another one last tough question for you what happened uh in chicago uh that was that was not good for the cali kid thing like it wasn't you they no it was cold they showed your face and you had that like listen i know the cold like you get that little tear where you're not really crying but it's cold exactly and you had that yeah and it was like listen i love jared but he's got no chance because it's too cold it wasn't 45 degrees it was cold yeah it was like it was like 35 maybe and it really wasn't that cold. 45 degrees? It was cold.

Yeah, it was like 35 maybe, and it really wasn't windy at all.

Their defense is damn good.

Yeah, but the cold.

I mean, damn good.

It wasn't that cold.

Denver was way colder.

How'd you do that game? We won that game.

Okay, you won that game.

Because you've got to stop the Cali.

People are going to do that.

You know what I mean?

Well, I mean, that's okay.

Were you wearing sleeves in that game? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You had like a he had a so was so was Mitchell for some reason though yeah you look colder when you're wearing sleeves that make you warmer does that make sense sure like especially if you're playing football if you see a guy with bare arms it's like that guy's hot we're wearing like the all like white too so it probably made us look like we were trying to like stay warm in like a snow outfit yeah blake if sean mcveigh walked into the first day of training camp was like hey listen blake i love you man but you can't wear a hat on the sideline for the entire season what would you do wear a helmet i've seen sean manuel wearing a helmet on the sideline all last year you're gonna do that? You can wear a helmet every day. I'd wear a visor.

Or ask for a headset just to cover it. Sean Manny wearing a helmet on the sideline all last year.
You're going to do that? You're going to wear a helmet every year? I'd wear a visor.

Or ask for a headset just to cover it.

Yeah, the visor would be a hell of a look.

That's the Nagy look, right?

The bald, like totally bald.

The bald visor.

Where are you at right now?

I mean, we've got to do something about it.

It's not bad.

No, that's not bad.

No, well, you're looking at the right. Yeah, but from this angle, it's not bad.

And then when you notice he didn't dip his head at all. That's fine.
When it gets really bad is when you wear a helmet, when it gets mad down and wet. And I haven't seen that yet.
That was the first thing Jared said. It was like, I haven't seen you post-helmet hair yet.
Oh, no. He's got the helmet to hat so down, though.
It's insane. It's the fastest thing you've ever seen.
You can never. It dips his head a little too.
It's like this and you honestly can't see it. You're like a gunfighter with your hand just dipping down real quick.
I remember the first day of practice back in high school football every year. The first day over the summertime, the helmets would just hurt like shit.
Do you guys still get that or are your heads just used to it by now? If it's a helmet I've worn, if it's my helmet from last year, it'll be fine. If it's a new helmet, it's the same way.
You've got to break it in, and you've got that big Peyton Manning red triangle on your forehead. Yeah, that was the worst.
Also, back to losing hair, though. I think we talked about this the other day.
I feel like when it starts to go, really the best asset of me is my face. So my face is just growing.
True. He didn't say that.
He says forehead. True.
Percentage-wise. Yeah.
You have more head to go around. It's just growing.
Your feature to hair ratio is only increasing. Exactly.
Pat Manning's forehead made me think of that. Bigger forehead.
Outless hair. Do you ever plan on shaving the beer? Or is it one of those things where it's like I'm going to trick people to think that I'm not bald? Yeah.
Once you're losing hair or going bald or shave your head, I feel like you have to have a beard. Yes.
Balance it out. Absolutely.
I like the beard. Thanks.
It's good luck. Yeah, thanks.
Well, that's because I'm going gray. So that sucks.
I'm not losing hair. I'm not like you.
You're with child, though. But yeah, I'm with child.
I am going very gray. So it sucks.
It's not bad. No, it sucks.
I look dignified. Are you guys going to do any hijinks in the locker room and stuff? Because you guys are best friends, so you can just team up on someone.
Maybe push them over. You get down on it.
Tabletop them? Yeah, tabletop them. Something like that.
Maybe pants some people. We haven't played any pranks yet.
I think it's a little different. I think you guys are a little different.
You guys are like professionals. We kind of pick on the younger quarterback a little bit.
Wait, who? Brandon Allen? Joe. Yeah, a little bit.
What's his name? He's great. John Wolford.
Wolford. Where'd he play? Played in AF.
Oh. Went to Wake Forest.
Wake Forest. Demon Deacon.
Oh. Okay.
They're a historically great offense. Yeah.
Riley Skinner. Yeah.
He was on the hot shots. AF hot shots.
Oh, really? They were good in the one. Arizona.
Yeah. They put up some points.
We know our AF. Yeah.
We're very familiar with that box score. I bet on them.
Yeah. So, yeah.
What kind of hijinks are you going to pull on him? Oh, I don't know. A little icy hot in the jockstrap.
I still have a little more, I guess, experience with him than I would. You've You've been a veteran for longer than I have.
Yeah. There's not a whole lot.
There was a lot of stuff going on in Jacksonville. Not so much pranking.
I think a funny one I was saying the other day is when you hand the helmet around. You grab somebody's actual helmet and you go, hey, can you guys sign this for me? I'm giving it to somebody and everyone signs it.
And then they wear it at practice. It's good.
And then they have to get a new helmet. I like that.
That's a good one. I've seen that one.
That one's good. Do you guys have to wear your names on your helmets for the start of camp? We do.
I saw that. We do.
Damn. You're going to have to learn all this new stuff.
I just saw that the other day. We have all of us have our name and number.
How much is your coming to L.A.? Is it super different in terms of, like, you were comfortable in Florida. You're a Florida guy.
Are you adapting well? Florida was home. Yeah, I mean, it's been good.
I got a couple friends. I mean, it's a nice place.
It's, like, out of the way. Like, I kind of know Orange County well, but up north of L.A.
wasn't really familiar with. So, I mean, it's been good.
I go to dinner by myself. Seriously? A good amount.
Yeah. Do you eat at the bar? I do.
That's kind of lonely. Because you can't ask her.
Table for one is just sad. Blake, table for one.
What do you do? You just sit there? I actually, I'm with you. I think eating at the bar is pretty cool.
Just watch games. I like eating at the bar.
Yeah. Yeah.
You get to see the bartender making all the other drinks. Right.
If there's a sushi chef or somebody making a sandwich, you could watch that guy too. You can have conversation.
You can't sit at a table by yourself and try and talk to the waitress. Right.
Yeah, that's just great. You can talk to the bartender or somebody sitting next to you.
Have you been recognized out here yet? No. Do you get recognized? I mean, every once in a while.
L.A. is so weird.
When we signed signed him there's not been a free agent signing we've made that my friends have texted me more about than when we signed him it was like brandon cooks last year and not in that big a deal clay not a big deal when we signed blake it was like yo you guys got blake like it's gonna be dope yes it is i mean that's i think i might have been one of those texts yeah you were like hey this is awesome and, this is awesome. And then some of my friends are like, yeah, I'm going to get a five jersey.
I'm like, hold on. Whoa.
What's going on? Wait, what did we decide? What did we decide with you? Gordles. Gordles? Gordles.
We're going to get a Gordles jersey. Bof.
Yeah. Jake Bof.
Or? I like Gordles. Gordles.
Blair Gordles. Yeah.
Blair Gordles. Blair Gordles.
Gordles is pretty good. So will you be mad if we do that? Do what? A combination jersey.
Absolutely not. Okay.
Because we're going to get it. Do it.
Have you thought for your personal brand just like the B, then capital L-A, and then lowercase K-E? Oh, that's good. Yeah.
Probably sell a lot of t-shirts that way. Have you, Jared, have you had like an increase, like has your schedule gotten crazier since you were in the Super Bowl? Like is everyone wanting your time? I mean, you haven't fucking taken that Red Bull hat off once.
And so it's clearly, well, no, I mean, it's clearly like you got brands and shit, but like anything else like that? Not really. I mean, Banana Republic.
Banana Republic. What? They hooked you up? Yeah, I did some stuff with them.
Damn. You didn't see the commercial? No, I don't think I did.
Yeah, I did some good stuff with them. You did some free clothes? Yeah.
Nice. Yeah, it's been fun.
That's probably been the biggest one since Super Bowl. Okay.
Okay. What do you got going on endorsement-wise right now? Not a whole lot.
I'm just hanging out. Wikipedia Club.
Wikipedia Club. Yeah, we'll get you a Tesla, too.
I feel like they're going to hear your testimonial. Yeah, you might.
You should say something really nice about them. The Copenhagen edition.
Yeah, I like that. That's good.
I like that a lot. Elon Musk, I know you're listening.
Tesla sells merch. I keep wearing a lot of Tesla.
It's like Porsche stuff. You can wear Tesla hats.
That's a tough look. Yeah, you'd be a real dude.
Is there still stuff about your Tesla that you're figuring out like you have no idea what it does? Oh, yeah, yeah. There's so much weird things it does.
It's just like software. It's just a computer on wheels.
You can turn it on to where every time you hit your blinker, it farts and like makes like whoopee cushion noises and stuff like that. So you do that.
Yeah. You can't have that on there.
I'm not going to use it. But yeah, it does all kinds of weird stuff like that.
It's pretty cool. Shit.
All right. I have one last question.
SeatGeek question. Put in promo code TAKEY at $10 off.
SeatGeek purchase. Do you guys have any questions for us? No.
That's the question. Oh, yeah.
I got a question for you. Yeah.
How's – you're about to be a dad. Are you excited? I am.
I'm excited. I'm nervous.
I'm excited and nervous. So June's going to be – that's why we're out here.
People are going to listen to this after the fact. But we're out here because we're doing a bunch of interviews to try to get ahead of it a little bit.
So I'm not going to take much time off. Not going to miss any shows.
Big paternity leave? No, I don't think Barstool has anything like that. Nothing? No, I don't think so.
I was actually wondering if I was going to get paternity leave when you had your kid too. No, I won't miss any shows.
We're going to do an evergreen show that we have that we can just throw out there if the kid comes on a show night. I got a question for you guys.
Got to pay for the kid. We need to figure out who's going to be the godfather of the kid between me and Hank.
Do you have any... Or Blake and Jared.
Do you have any running? I was about to ask them if they had any ideas for a competition. Now they're going to be like throw football as far as you can.
I think I might be able to take you guys. Yeah think the football like because i think the godfather's gonna have to like teach him some stuff like when dad's not around one of the vortex ones though yeah problem is when dad's not around they're not around either we travel everywhere together to the point where like if if people see like if i go somewhere and it's like even vacation they'll be like where's pft dude.
It's like I don't go everywhere with him we have separate houses 90% of the time I'm with him but it's always weird we're like where's PFT it's like bro we don't always go everywhere together it's like when you see your teacher in the grocery store and you're like I thought you lived at the school yeah right why aren't you writing papers why aren't you guys together what the hell yeah just make it Dave he stays in New York so he'll be there when you're gone. That's actually a smart move.
Make Dave the godfather? Yeah, because he won't roast Mike. What would he teach it? I'm not even going to see him.
He'll be cursed. Does he even know? He's a boy.
Here's a beautiful thing. What did you say? Does he even know? Yeah, he does know.
But here's the best part is that the due date is June 25th, and he goes to Nantucket for all of July. So I think there is a chance that I'll have a child, and then we'll go a year where he'll be like, wait, you have a kid? I'll be like, one thing I'll miss in an entire year.
I'll be like, hey, I can't go to this. He'll be like, why? I have a kid.
He'll be like, what? Because he's going away right after. So it's actually perfect because I don't really want to make him fodder.
You could probably just miss July too. Yeah.
I don't want to make the kid fodder for like Dave to just roast and do the Dave thing. So we're going to try to avoid that.
Yeah. Try to have a normal childhood.
Are you going to give your kid like an Instagram account? No. Absolutely not.
Make him. Yeah.
You can make him like famous, like promo, like CQ, all that stuff. None of that.
No. The kid will.
That'd be a good marketing move. You're telling me that kid wouldn't have a lot of followers? Yeah, but I don't want...
Using kids for social clout is... Well, people do it.
Yeah, I know. He's not allowed to get on social media until he's 18.
No, little cash app cat is not allowed to get on social media. I mean, no, this is all contingent on how I do gambling and football.
You name it cash app. Obviously, if I start to lose, like I usually i usually lose then yeah maybe the kid will have his own instagram and he'll have to be sponsored and shit on his face and everything yeah my dog my dog's a newsbreaker yeah there you go my dog doesn't really break correct no he's he's on a hot streak right now he's like two for four oh wow that's crazy yeah all right what other questions you got for us um your boy your in Rough and Rowdy was awesome.
Yeah. Yeah.
He did well. That was sick.
That was sick. They had a lot of fun.
Super Rough and Rowdy. Did he win? Yes.
He did win. You were there.
He was texting me. You were keeping me updated.
You were fucking there. Yeah, yeah.
You're right. I'm sorry.
Your buddy, that was punishment for finishing last place in a fantasy football league, right? Correct. Yes.
Had to fight rough and rowdy. And he won.
And he won. That's crazy.
Yeah. On like three week notice.
Yeah. And he was pretty erratic though, right? He's athletic.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Can we talk about the post-Houston party? Yes.
Is that what we've ever talked about? Oh, yeah. Let's finish with that.
It was the that that we saw jared and blake that's really when the sparks started all right so where should we start we almost burned down the house making totinos at three in the morning blake was blake was staring at the oven for about two hours at the park still off then three in the morning the next morning at like like nine in the morning i think you text me you're, where's Blake? I was like, I don't fucking know. And you're like, well, we have a plane that he bought ready to fly and we can't find him.
I showed up on time. You showed up on time.
Nobody heard from me until the time. It was like the situation where his phone died and then he fell asleep.
And we're like, I hope he it he burnt his mouth with totinos you said that i did have like two weeks yeah what's really impressive is that your phone was dead and you still managed to find your way to the airport at like 9 30 in the morning i don't think i could do that in any city yeah yeah i don't really remember how i got to navigate your way to the airport that's impressive that was a good night that was yeah blake just stare i that. Him just staring at the oven.
There was smoke coming out of the oven. I was inside.
He was staring at it. Walk outside.
Did the whole loud Sean basketball thing for two hours. Go back inside, and he's still in there, and there's kind of smoke coming out.
But he's just like. I like him crispy.
And I feel like we didn't have the oven on. He's just staring at it.
I feel like the first hour, we just didn't have couldn't figure it out I remember I left late and he was like not doing well and I left pretty late and I was like Blake 11am tomorrow you're going to be like yeah yeah I got you it was such a funny text to be like hey do you know where Blake like what the fuck why would I know where he is I think I was already in the airport you guys might have still been going going. Oh, I was already at the airport.
No, we got the hell out of there. On Saturday morning.
We were going to fly out on Sunday, and we were like, fuck that. Let's just get out as soon as we can.
Yeah, we were gone. Gone.
All I remember from that night was me and Paul standing out back just hanging out, and we just looked across the pool, and Dave was having fun in his bedroom with the windows wide. Oh, yeah, that's right.
You saw a little too much. Dave getting a blowjob.
So we'll end there. That's perfect.
He's told the story, so I feel fine saying it out loud. Yeah, he likes to say it out loud.
That exact story? Yeah, he's like Blake Borle. He's proud that he saw him get a blowjob.
Although he was petrified because he immediately closed the blinds. Which is a normal move.
Yeah, that's a normal move to do. But, yeah, that was a good time.
But hopefully you guys are in the Super Bowl again this year. Hopefully.
You missed Ruff and Rowdy for a good cause. And hopefully Hank has learned his lesson and won't talk trash about it.
Actually, wait. Why did I say hopefully? I don't want you to be in the Super Bowl.
I want the Bears to be in the Super Bowl. But I want you to have success.
If you have to go to Chicago for a playoff game in January, you're already crying about that. Blake's not coming.
Blake will be like, I'm not going. It's like 10 degrees? Yeah, no.
Anything under 50 still. That's why he's in LA.
He likes the weather. Yeah, exactly.
Calibros to the max. Final question.
If I get arrested at Super Bowl Media Day and you guys are at it, are you going to finally do something and step in this time? I didn't know you got arrested until after. Get dragged away like a political prisoner.

I did.

No, I did.

No.

Yeah, I did.

You got detained.

No, I got escorted downstairs by NFL security.

Who here has been arrested?

And the FBI.

PFT at Super Bowl Media Day.

That's it?

No, I've been arrested.

I've never been arrested.

I've been arrested three times.

Underage drinking.

Kind of a bad boy.

Three times?

Part of my take.

Yeah.

Wow.

Not to brag.

Damn.

Pretty cool. I've never been arrested.
At a dog boy. Part of my take.
Yeah. Wow.
Not to brag. Damn.
Pretty cool.

I don't have an arrest.

At a dog show at Super Bowl Media Day.

And then for Drunken Public on St. Patrick's Day.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, you're counting the dog show?

Yeah.

The dog show is probably my biggest arrest of all time.

Two of these are not even real arrests.

No.

Oh, man.

Dude, if you get detained at a dog show, that counts as being arrested.

Oh, man.

That was actually good seeing you there at Media Day, though, because it was like

Thank you. These are not even real arrests.
No. Oh, man.
Dude, if you get detained at a dog show, that counts as being arrested.

Oh, man.

That was actually good seeing you there at Media Day, though, because it was very boring and the same question over and over.

And then I saw you, and I was like, oh, this is kind of fun.

Yeah, Media Day, it sucks.

Yeah.

I feel bad.

Actually, I feel bad for the athletes that have to sit up there and answer the questions because it's supposed to be a fun night for them in theory.

I guess it used to be fun, and now it's just like sit up here and try not to say anything stupid. Wait, I have one final question now that I'm thinking about it.
We're obviously going to – you've already listened to us talk to Sean McVay, but I want to hear from you. Was there any moment where he came up to you and was like, these guys won't stop hassling me about a Super Bowl box? Oh, throughout that week? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, we joked about it. He was like, man, I might have to do it.
I mean, they're mean they're kind of they gotta be a man of my word yeah uh i guess he wasn't no we would we probably would have we were at it we would have been like no we want to go back yeah okay well he's got to do something for you guys at least i guess the interview that you guys did a few days ago will work yeah yeah we definitely smooth things out then yeah so we have a box seat to every rams Really? Yeah. Are there even boxes? There are boxes.
Okay. I have a box.
You guys are welcome. Really? You got a box? Oh, shit.
Okay. Do the Bears play out here? Yeah, but they do.
They do. They do.
All right. So we might.
Yeah, yeah. Well, no Bears fans are out of my box.
Yeah, you don't want to bring him out for that game. No Bears fans are in my box.
Why? Mitch is a friend. Yeah, you can go in his box.
Okay, well, he doesn't have a box. And he's not, I'm not in his guest house right now, so.
True. I'll go in Blake's box.
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Okay, let's get to some segments. We've got to break the moves real quick.
Breaking moves. LeBron's watching The Godfather again.
Oh, shit. Here we go.
So he decided to just give up on the book and watch the movie. The book's going to be put in the cooler for a minute.
He's watching The Godfather. He probably just left.
He posted it on Instagram stories. He probably just left the book in his wine cooler.
It was like a little wine fridge that he's got. I mean, it is playoff season.
It is. Might as well watch The Godfather.
Also, I wanted to bring this up when we were talking about the Raptors earlier. Did you see the electric celebration that they had after they won game six in downtown Toronto? Yeah.
People flooded out into the streets, and then when the light turned green, they all neatly and orderly walked to the sidewalk to allow the cars to pass. Yes.
That freaking moves was brought to you by Chalk and Milk for real cover. Italk and Milk.
Speaking of Toronto, we should do a quick This League for Kawhi's sister posting an Instagram that had someone in the background be like, what did the person say? She was talking about how people are like, thank you, Kawhi. Toronto loves you, blah, blah, blah.
And then allegedly his uncle was in the background like, they know damn well he's not going to be here next year. Counterpoint.
Everybody's got like a loud mouth uncle that you don't really trust. Kawhi didn't even want to touch the trophy.
So maybe, wait, no. Counter, counterpoint.
Kawhi literally only listens to that loud mouth uncle. That was the whole San Antonio thing.
Oh, really? He was only listening to his uncle. Okay.
Counter, counter, counterpoint. It was like Kawhi and his uncle.
Yeah, you're right. It was like Derek and Reggie Rose.
Yeah, you're right about that. Okay, so Kawhi to Los Angeles confirmed.
Yes, yes, pretty much. The uncle definitely knows.
It is funny because we're at the point now where everyone's like, with every shot Kawhi makes, they're like, well, he's more likely to stay in Toronto now. It's like, dude, he's already made up his mind one way or the other.
He's going to stay or he's going to leave. That's already been decided.
I could see him changing his mind if they win a championship. No, I seriously think it's still the same.
If he's going to leave, he's already gone. Wait, but Toronto can offer more money, right? No, I don't think so.
Okay, never mind. There goes my last half-baked theory.
Yeah, I think he's gone no matter what. Yeah, you're probably right.
Well, I shouldn't say no matter what. I think he's made up his mind already no matter what.
There could be a world where he's like, I really love it in Toronto, but losing or winning the finals won't change that. I could see Kawhi really enjoying Toronto.
Yeah, Toronto's a great fucking city. It is a good city, and it's a perfect city for him.
Although he doesn't love the cold. I heard that from his uncle.
Okay. Well, you can go on vacation in the summertime somewhere warm.
Yeah, but the wintertime, you have to be there. That's true.
But you're going to be playing anyways. Yeah, but like walking to the arena and shit, that fucking sucks.
I mean, he can drive. He could drive.
They probably have a parking lot at the arena for the players. Yeah, he can't go outside, though.
Or he could live in his $30 million house he just bought in San Diego. I just really wish Rob Ford was still here.
Yeah, I know, to see all this. He'd be eating wings.
The mayor's bet between Rob Ford and whoever the mayor of Oakland is. That would be something.
Nope. Thought I had it for a second, but I definitely don't.
Marshawn Lynch. What if he just cocked the mayor of Oakland and was like, Marshawn Lynch, you're the mayor.
Yeah, I just want to bet against you. Yes.
Yeah. Skittles versus buffalo wings.
I was going to say crack. Yeah.
Well, the crack is underneath the buffalo wings. You've got to get it over the border.
The trick is if Rob Ford tried to bet somebody crack, he would keep it even if he lost. He'd be like, oh, sorry.
It's gone. I don't know.
I lost it. All right.
We have a... Speaking of illegal drug use, we have a bad visual for Yvenny Kuznetsov, your Washington capital, Yvenny Kuznetsov.
Yvenny. Yvenny Kuznetsov.
He pulled an OBJ. So he was in a hotel room and there was cocaine matter or cocaine resembling matter.
It could have just been ice. Literally right next to him.
It could have been ice shavings. Right next to him.
Right next to him on like a mirror cut up into two nice little strips. So he's saying that he has never done illegal drugs.
And when he saw the illegal drugs in a room with strange women, he left. So I'm taking Kuznets off at his word here.
So that's the bad visual, by the way. The bad visual is not having an Instagram with Coke on the table.
You're a professional athlete. I think this was from last summer, maybe.
It was from Vegas after they won the cup. Yeah, Jared Stolt knows that shit happens after you win a cup.
Yeah, or if you're just a Miami offensive line coach. The bad visual is him saying when I was aware of the video, I immediately left the room.
Yep. What the fuck? Yeah, that's weird decision making.
Yeah, like, ew, what's with all these women in Coke after I win the cup? I'm out of here. Yeah, I can confirm I was there at the time.
I was not in that room, but I did not see any drug. I don't think that there were any drugs in Las Vegas.
This is such a funny sentence to read because that's off told the Russian media site that the video was taken last summer after the Capitals won the Stanley Cup and that he left the room as soon as possible after seeing unfamiliar women and strange substances on the table. Was he Mike Pence? By the way, he left the room as soon as possible.
That's obviously after the Coke was done. Yeah, so he got the fuck out of there.
Yeah, he's like, okay, now I can leave. Just put this Coke away.
This party sucks. Yeah, there's no more Coke, so I left.
And the women were strangers to me. As soon as possible.
It was so perfect there. Well, we had to finish the Coke.
Yeah, he's always been a second-line guy. Oh, man.
That was like 2.75 balls. That's pretty good.
Yeah, there were two lines there. Richter's.
Yeah, there were two lines. The balls.
Tune into our burger review. Oh, yeah.
On Thursday with Zach Efron. Yeah, so we did a burger review on Zach Efron's YouTube page, which are some words that I never thought would come out of my mouth.
But, yeah, we reviewed the burgers on the patented Glenny balls. Was it 1-5 balls? Zach had no idea what we were doing.
Nope. On that part.
He knew what we were doing on everything else, but the balls. All right.
Dad to dad, LeBron James has let his son, Bronny Jr., on Instagram. Finally.
Our long national nightmare is over. LeBron James' son is now posting.
Yes. Do you think him and his wife are going to go through his son's DMs the way any parent would? Well, here's what I don't understand.
You know that he's just going to get flooded. Here's what I don't understand.
I thought he was on Instagram. It turns out he just has like a million Instagram fan accounts.
So that means I was DMing with a random person. That's so creepy that you were...
Yes. You thought you were DMing with a 17-year-old boy.
I mean, it turns out it was a fan account of a 17 year old 14 more that's creepy i was trying to get sorry at all costs i was trying to get lebron on the show i would rather have brawny jr on the show than lebron i don't can you imagine growing up with lebron james as your dad how surreal your life is and half the time that that your dad's at home he's just walking around screaming into his phone making an instagram story didn Didn't LeBron say something ridiculous like last year where he was like, I don't want everyone to put pressure on my kid? Like, bro, you named him LeBron James Jr. He was happy that he chose a different number because he didn't want him to choose LeBron's number.
So he could carve out his own name. Otherwise, people might connect the dots and realize that that's LeBron James' son.
LeBron also just didn't want his son to supersede his playing level with that same number. I will say it's going to be cool when they play together in the NBA.
Because that's how long LeBron's staying in the NBA. And that will be a cool moment.
Everyone remembers Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr.
playing together. Did you see Draymond got in on the comments? No.
Did not listen do? Did not listen to LeBron James when LeBron said, like, be nice to him or else we're going to roll up. So I guess LeBron James is, like, threatening to murder anybody that leaves a comment.
Oh, he's watching The Godfather. But Draymond said, I'm going to be at your fucking neck.
That's so good. That's so good.
Yeah, again, he said, fuck yes. I bet you LeBron James Jr.
thinks that Draymond's a way cooler dad than LeBron is.

Yeah, for sure.

He's like, I want to go hang out with Unky Draymond.

Once you hit that like 13, 14 years old, you're like, every dad is cooler than your dad.

Yeah, especially.

For like a four or five year stretch.

Especially the one that's kind of fucked up and always like angry at people.

And drinking too much.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

No, I was talking about Draymond.

Oh, yeah.

Draymond would be a top five uncle of professional athletes right now. Yeah.
Hank Hot in the Streets. So Hank Hot in the Streets, it's similar to Mount Rushmore season kind of, but tears.
Yeah, tear maker has hit the streets. Making tears, just pick a category similar to Mount Rushmore season.
Just pick a category and then put the things into tears. Go on Twitter.
Go viral. I'm going to do this tomorrow.
My whole day is going to be spent mashing memes and tiers together. I got in.
That's what you should do is you should make tiers of memes. That's what I'm going to do.
Yeah, like this is an elite meme. But I'm not going to use any of the memes correctly.
Yeah. I made one with states and boy it's shocking how many people will argue over a list of states.

I mean, this is like when I do the power rankings of five and seven teams in the NFL, and everyone's like, how could you rank my five and seven team below this team?

It's like, dude, that's a fucking joke.

Yeah.

I learned today that people will be very upset about rankings of Pennsylvania and Ohio as they relate to one another.

Like people from Pennsylvania, as long as they can beat Ohio in something, then they're good and vice versa. And I put Illinois in my second tier as a state just because I like the city of Chicago in the summertime.
But people are big mad. Apparently, Illinois is not a well-liked state, even by people that live inside of Illinois.
There were people from Chicago being like, yo, Illinois is way too high on this. I mean, as a full-on state, it's got not a lot besides Chicago.
Lovie Smith. Yeah, Lovie Smith.
Champagne. I believe this started from anime and comic book Twitter, so you should do one of those and get those people going.
Well, I think the Illinois thing is, by the way, the looney tunes. Wait, where'd you where'd you rank? Second tier? That's correct.
Illinois is never going to be on the same level as California's, the Florida's, the Hawaii's, like people with like nice warm weather and beaches and all that shit. And Louisiana.
I put that on there too as elite. I don't know about that.
Louisiana and Illinois is pretty much the same. Who cares? Except less oil in Illinois.

Yeah, that's true, I guess, I suppose.

And they fry everything in Louisiana.

Yeah.

Both state governments are extremely corrupt.

True.

Which is a good... That's a sign of a vital state government.

It is.

You can be bought at any moment.

If your government kicks so much ass that people will cheat, murder, kill, and lie to

get in positions of power, that means that they just want it a lot because it's awesome.

I actually had, I worked like hand in hand with a woman

at the Department of Buildings in Chicago in my former life

that got arrested for corruption.

Department of Buildings?

Yeah.

That's a sick department.

I mean, everyone's got a Department of Buildings.

And my boss had to sit me down and be like,

did you ever give her a bribe?

And I was like, no, but I wish I had known because I would have. like yeah that actually makes you feel like shit yeah she thought that you were so poor right that she didn't even think to approach you to ask you for money i was just going in there being like can you do this pay like can you sign off this you know certificate occupancy and shit and i could have bought her off and made my life easy that sucks sucked a lot she yeah listen if anybody out there is a bribe taker and you see me, at least solicit me for a bribe.
Yeah, right. Just at least be like, just give me a wink so I know.
Just ask me to wet the beak. I will bribe.
I probably won't, but it would be nice to be offered. The bribe giver never gets in trouble, right? True.
No, that's true. I know how the Turkish government works.
The bribe taker is the one who gets busted yeah the bribe giver is just that's doing business yeah and it's also just generous right right if it's not listen here's a little pro tip to everybody out there in the business world if it's inside of a birthday card yeah you can give anybody money for whatever that's what it was it was like a 200 inside a birthday yeah when they busted it. It was fucking hilarious.
If it's inside a birthday card, it's just a present for their birthday. It was a thrilling moment.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is it illegal in the United States of America to help somebody celebrate a birthday and to wish them a happy year of health? Yes.
Dude, it was thrilling, though, to be that close to, like, government corruption. I was there.
I was sitting at the doorstep, and I was the idiot who didn't get involved. When I was working in Texas, one of their big department of agriculture people was, he ran an entire industry and branch of the government that was devoted to counting peanuts, literally counting peanuts.
Okay. Peanut counter.
Yeah. And it turns out that the project that he was using our company for was just a big waste of money for him.
So he was taking about 75% of the money he said was going to our company and just hanging on to all of it for himself. It's a pretty fucking sweet scheme if you can get it.
Real sweet. And that was talking government corruption in various states in America.
All right. Last up, Tuesday reading.
So it's not Monday. It's Tuesday.
Yeah, same guy who fell asleep on the couch. It is Tuesday, so don't worry about it because you probably got into work and you're telling everyone how bad your Monday is.
All right, this comes from a guy named Joey Salads who is Saladino for Congress. Is he a fantasy fuckboy? Is he really? PFT, is he really running for office? Yeah.
Okay. Where? Staten Island.
Where do you think do you think okay joey salads so this is on the heels of the um abortion uh debate on twitter like two weeks ago i would say the debate was mostly in state legislators but yes there was also a debate on twitter oh people debated on twitter yes they took it to the twitter streets uh so So Joey Salads wrote, he has a tweet thread, so we'll start at the top.

I have had sex thousands of times.

Fuck.

Not one pregnancy.

Pullout, condom, birth control, cycle planning.

That sounds like steroids, by the way.

Yeah, cycle planning.

But even if it all fails, I'm prepared for the girl to get pregnant because it is one of the outcomes of having sex. Two out of those three things don't work that he said.
Pull out, yeah, condom and birth control. Cycleplanning, I don't, you're just.
Cycleplanning is like. You're just waiting for the cycle to end? I think Joey Salad's in his mind if a woman's on her period.
He just, like, he stays away from women for, a week at a time right well no you'd want to

have sex with them like while they're on their period because they can't get pregnant oh yeah good call there's nothing more romantic than cycle planning with your girlfriend sperm don't swim up river when can we have sex this month let's put it on a calendar really get the really get the love going there if you have an app on your phone that tells you when you can fuck that's actually the hottest thing also fuck everyone who's like pull out dude it's not that easy let's just say that you would know it's not that yeah it's not that easy pull outs people who like oh yeah pull out like cool man you can control things good for you uh all right then he then he starts to get spy he starts to spiral because he realizes that

tweet was utterly ridiculous uh he says i love all the comments by the way this is a really good

uh just tale for twitter if someone says i love and then something they in fact do not love it

yeah that's a danny cannell special i love all the comments acting like yeah okay you have sex

one you're not original two i have a girlfriend a few exes wow that's more than a couple three

We'll be right back. like yeah okay you have sex one you're not original two i have a girlfriend a few exes wow that's more than a couple three chamberlain over here three i am 25 if you aren't having a lot of sex in your 20s then that is just sad i feel like it is just people protecting their own sad sex life i don't know about that man i think it's just really weird to to talk about how much sex you've had on Twitter.
I think it's just saying you're bragging that your pullout game is so strong. Actually, admitting that you've never gotten a woman pregnant when your main point is just pulling out, that tells me you've got beta sperm, bro.
Yeah, you do. You've got a little tiny dead fish in there.
Sick cycle planning, beta sperm. That's Joey Salads.
He goes on to continue, by the the way i respect people who wait till marriage or the right person nice little throw in there no because he just said that if you're not having sex throughout your 20s that's very sad yeah but he's taking it back for people who are waiting for marriage uh they said never thought having sex with girlfriends was such a controversial thing doesn't everybody have sex after seeing these left wingers respond i think i'm the only one you are the only one yep joey salads how does that work if you're the only person having sex that'd be a pretty sick gag to pull in like a truman show type thing if joey salads was the main character of a truman show and nobody else fucked and you just taught him growing up like this is what you're you're supposed to put your penis inside a couch yeah yeah and and he was like fucking and it was just not a thing yes that would be funny this is great though because if he's the only one having sex then he is definitely counting masturbating as part of his thousand right right and left hand yes it all makes sense now nobody else is getting laid and he put a posted a culture magazine article that said why are young people having so little sex? Fortnite. Because who wouldn't believe the classic weekly magazine article that says, millennials have ruined X, Y, or Z? I need Joey Salads to teach a health class ASAP.
Okay, here we go. This is when it gets good.
All seriousness, it's not thousands, but definitely over 1,000. Just by doing some quick math of how long I've been in and out of relationships and how many times we banged in a day.
Yeah. Easy one K.
Bro, you're having sex multiple times a day. I like the idea of Joey salads having like a whiteboard pulled up behind him and he's on speakerphone calling all his ex-girlfriends asking them three.
Okay. How say that we fucked over the course of a day like a good weekend day so Cynthia I probably fucked her 3.6 times a week for 10 weeks that's one he's going through all the math I'm starting to do the math he's incepted everybody to try to do their own math.
Yeah. He's also basically.
I've had sex dozens of times. The real life version of our good friend Uncle Chaps when he's like, I've had sex with my wife over a thousand times.
He's doing that, but for real. Point of the treat was to just show that if you take all possible precautions, you can avoid pregnancies as much as possible, showing that it also comes from experience.
I feel like my luck is running out and the odds are stacking up against my favor, so don't be surprised. He is talking during like a no-hitter.
So he's prelatedly wishing himself like congrats on the baby that you're going to have. How funny would that be? He's playing Russian roulette and every other chamber is filled with sperm right now.
How funny would it be if he was just infertile?

He's like, I've just been having, like, he finds out in, like, five years when he tries to have kids.

It's like, shit.

Yeah.

I've had sex thousands of times, and I thought it was just my pullout game.

My personal responsibility isn't as good as I thought it would.

Maybe it's all that pre-workout that I chugged when I was 23 years old.

All right.

Finishing up, he says, to be honest, this is all so stupid. This was supposed to be just a throwaway tweet, but everyone blew it up.
LOL. Didn't know sex was such a big deal to people.
I guess it is hard for some, and that's what makes this so unbelievable. Sex is the biggest deal for everyone.
You didn't realize that sex was a big deal, Joey Salads? It's the ultimate. It is the deal.
Also, a great way to not ever get anybody pregnant is to wear these workout shoes. And studies have shown that wearing these weird-looking calf-raised shoes, 99.999% effective against premature births.
When you rip your Achilles, we can get scooters again. All right, cool.
Yeah, so at least we got that going for us. I like that.
Also, a good way to not have sex is to do a whole tweet thread and meltdown about how much sex you have. That is pretty good.
Finishing up, so many soy boys in my mentions, like level 10 soy boys getting a huge kick out of this. He's tear-maker-ing for soy boys.
What's a level 10 soy boy? That sounds like a one man throw ride croak. Yeah.
Where does soy boy rank above or below pajama boy? The guy that was like Obama tweeted out back in 2014. He's like, talk to your parents about healthcare this holiday season.
What about blog boys? Are we below or above level 10 soy boys? I feel like blog. How's joy boys? Joy boys.
Joy Boys, okay. I feel like blog boys were above Soy Boys.
You mean were better than? Better than Soy Boys. Not worse.
I don't know what a Soy Boy is. I don't either.
Why is this even a thing, LOL? Oh, just Spanish for I'm a boy. Yes.
Yo, Soy Boy. Got to turn my Twitter notes off because I only get the notes from verified accounts and they all super soy.
That's actually a face triggers me. That's a sicker brag than about how much you have sex.
Yeah. It's like I only get notifications from other verifieds.
Jesus Christ. No wonder this guy's getting laid.
A lot of meltdown. I fucking love Joey.
Can I vote for Joey Salads? You have to move to Staten Island. Just be like, I'm only voting for Joey Salads, the sex guy.
He looks like he is like 15 years too late from being in Shane O'Mac's posse for the WWE. Joey Salads, first YouTuber to run for office, 2.0.
Wow, that's good. Okay, well, first of all, how do you make the distinction of who a YouTuber is? I know.
that's a that's a great one though you tell me jesse venturer doesn't count as a youtuber right right oh my god his hair look at him dude he really is from the from the from the uh greenwich street posse okay so yeah first youtuber his bio blues oh jesus his bio first youtuber to run for office That sounds like a line from the curse guy, Lil B, the bass guy. Doesn't he have that in his bio, too? Yes.
We got to get him on the show. Can we get Joey Salads on just to make fun of him? Because he definitely is one of those guys you can make fun of him, and he wouldn't realize we're making fun of him.
Staten Island and Brooklyn. So, yeah, you might be able to vote for him.
Okay, I'm going to vote for Joey Salads. Yeah, he's like Pete Gass.
And what's his name? Why is it? Joey Abs? Jesus. And Joey Salads.
He looks like the kind of guy that would sue McDonald's for running out of Happy Meals. The toys.
Not the actual meals. The toys.
Listen, I came here because I need to get my He-Man doll with the action arm. It's false advertising.
He's been playing Monopoly on McDonald's super-sized fries for the last 15 years. He looks like...
And he's gotten like 17 park places. He's like, I'm so close.
He looks like if me and Joey Fatone fucked. Fuck.
Joey Salads.

I'm going to throw him the follow.

I'm going to throw Joey Salads the follow.

Anyone who's the first YouTuber to run for office,

fuck you, Joey Salads.

You got me, man.

I probably hate you, but you know what?

Hit us up, and we'll make fun of you on the show.

All right.

That's our show.

We'll see everyone tomorrow.

Zac Efron.

Love you guys. Today's M.I.T.A.
To find you shining away I'll be coming for your lover Hey, come Me Needless to say I thought you said it Spooky, stone rolling away Selling the line Is okay Say unto me Life's better to be safe than Tommy Hey, come Hey, come Hey I'm here. Thank you.
Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.
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