Richard Jefferson, Kentucky Derby, NBA Playoffs, S8E4 GoT Recap

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Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office. It's officially mini-skort season, and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in.
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Make plans to go out in Abercrombie, shop their newest arrivals in-store and online. On today's Part of My Take, we have recurring guest and zero-time All-Star Richard Jefferson.
Always great to talk to RJ. Future Hall of Famer.
Future Hall of Famer. And bronze medal medal winner we talked nba playoffs how the refs deal with the nba playoffs how bad lebron's breath is um and then what else did we talk about we talked a lot about basketball basketball we're talking basketball i'm shooting basketball all right we also have some more basketball Space Jam.
Also Space Jam. We have Who's Back of the Week.
We have Monday Reading and the Dumbest Game of Thrones Recap Ever. Spoiler alert.
Oh, no. Actually, I was going to say something.
We'll save it for the end. I was about to say something.
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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence.
I know my life is so Hey! Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Part of My Take presented by Ball School Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App. Today is Monday, May 6th.
We're in the new studio. Well, I know we're in.
This is studio 1.1. Studio 2.0 we move into later on this week.
Hopefully. Yes.
Who knows when it's going to be ready. But right now we are squatting in a studio in our new building.
And just want everyone to know we did not bench press before this show. We will always put in the show notes if we bench press before the show.
Did not this time, but we are here in the new office and we're ready to talk about everything, including the Kentucky Derby. Yes, I have some major news.
Can you read the tweet? Big news. Okay.
I'm now a horse racing expert. Okay.
I am an expert on all the rules. Was this your first inquiry? Was this your first inquiry that you were a part of? It's called an objection.
Yeah, well. And I love, shout out to the NBC Sports Graphic team for getting the objection graphic going like immediately with that big red block.
I was like, I don't even know what an objection is, but I'm here for it. Just right off the bat, obviously we're very woke about the whole thing.
They goosed another 20 minutes of content out of the Kentucky Derby. Boosted those ratings a little bit.
Which, by the way, they fucked up because they should have just ran the race earlier because the storms just got way, way worse. And that actually, that's a bigger story behind the story.
But go ahead. The weather.
Yeah, the weather was the big villain on Saturday. I just want to say I stand with our president who said that maximum security got disqualified because of political correctness.
I think so too. When was the last time you saw a police horse win the Kentucky Derby? True.
Never. So the actual change from maximum security getting kicked out of the race at the end, that was the correct call.
A hundred percent. Do you agree? I so i think so you can't you can't like i think you're you're twerk shaming maximum no he's got a big ass here's here's what people don't realize well i think most people actually realize this but maybe the people who uh only bet on the on horses that one day in kentucky derby we were so fucking close to the biggest disaster that horse racing has ever seen like i'm not joking you don't think that this was a bigger disaster than then then the horses falling all of them falling over each other that's what that's how close maximum security was to war of will like that was as close to a huge disaster where like basically a nascar pile up of horses yeah we almost saw the big one it would have ended it would have ended horse racing the sport.
It actually probably would have ended it because it's already on the ropes. You see these new whips where they're hitting them with pool noodles and shit.
Yeah, I saw that, yeah. If they had that kind of disaster on such a big stage, it would have been it for horse racing.
So I'm okay with them going by the rules. You can't just drift in front of other horses.
You have to give them a path and uh it was awesome because player safety first it was awesome just because i was imagining what it would have been like i didn't win obviously because i never went on the kentucky derby but imagining what it would have been like to bet uh what even was that fucking horse's name uh country home yeah country yeah country biscuit 65 to 1 to have pretty good to have end, and you're like, fuck, I probably shouldn't have bet that long shot. And then, boom, you win, and you probably only bet like $5 on it.
But still, that's a rush. If you think that this is over, you don't know rich people very well, because what's going to happen is this is going to go to court.
They're going to appeal to it. I don't think so.
Yeah, they've already said that the one thing horse racing was missing was lawyers but this happens all the time in horse racing like this is not a new derby but it's still not what they're saying is the the owners of the horse are saying that we are going to appeal to the state and then and then if that doesn't win we're going to take it for we're going to take it to court so we might not know who won the kentucky derby for the next like year yeah these happen. Someone found that old clip of when we went to the Breeders' Cup, Hank.
And I lost like 22 races in a row. And I was saying, there's a clip of me saying, I just want to be part of an inquiry once.
Where I just have the chance of like, oh, my horse could win if this goes through. But it happens all the time.
And I'm not shocked that it was overturned. And, I mean, they can go to the court all they want, but nothing's going to change.
Is there a snitches-get-stitches policy in horse racing? Because you've got the two jockeys joined together. And then, yeah, I don't know.
Do horses have teams? Here's how little I know about horse racing. He just owns, like, all of them, and they all win.
Yeah, and, and then he goes and buys a new brand of like fancier transition lenses to wear in the winner's circle the next year. But it was one of those situations where all we had to go on was some lady sitting in a situation room.
One of her computers wasn't even working. It looked like the room that Obama and Hillary were watching Osama Bin Laden getting shot on.
Yeah. And we were just like all on pins and needles.
Here's how little I know about horse racing. I kept calling the jockey the driver.
And I think that's actually a much cooler name for it. Like that driver did that on purpose.
Yeah. I was like, oh, finally I won a Kentucky Derby.
But nope, there's no chance that I'll ever win a Kentucky Derby. So it was exciting to watch.
I think it was – I threw out the – there was a lot of people who got the uh replay jokes off of i i threw out the replay ruins everything then i had the combination of people saying they were mad about the replay which again this happens all the time in horse racing and then the people who are like you're an idiot this happens all the time in horse racing it's like i was making a joke about people being upset about like jay billis was fuming sitting in his house like how could they do this why don to the monitors? Why don't they pay the horses? Yeah, what the fuck is going on? There's enough money being waged on this event and the horses don't get anything. But yeah, it could have been a disaster.
It could have been like, I'm talking death from horses and jockers. I thought when you were saying that it was almost a disaster, I thought you were saying that if they hadn't overturned the result.
No. But I agree with you.
Like, that was almost a big pileup. It of hooves.
It was just a – we were about half a second away from just like a hot springs of glue forming on the track. And they would never have been able to run the Kentucky Derby the same way again.
And that's the thing. The Kentucky Derby is different than every other horse race because there's 20 fucking horses.
It's insane. That's not how most horse races go.
So when you have 20 horses in terrible conditions and one of them starts drifting, just be happy that you can keep betting on horses once a year. Big thoughts and prayers go out to maximum security, though.
His stud fee went down considerably, which I don't really understand because he very clearly won. He ran a good enough race to win the Kentucky Derby.
So I think they're just saying that he's got the DNA of a cheater now. So his sperm isn't worth as much.
He can go win the – that's the other thing is Country Biscuit is not going to win the next two races. Country Biscuit? Is that what we're just calling it? I don't even know what his name is.
Limp Bizkit, the horse. Yeah, Country Club.
I don't know. I don't fucking know.
Country Home is the name of it. It is kind of cool, though, that a 63- to one horse i want to know how much money was wasted and ripped up tickets after the after the race was over the other thing is the like imagine winning the kentucky derby is a 65 to one long shot and then having the moment just be like you know drawn out for 30 minutes and then you're like oh you won but you didn't really win because you didn't have that moment where you crossed the finish line first and most people just change the channel like right away because they were like fuck horse racing i don't want to watch this anymore well i'm a big believer in the fact that when you lose a bet you have to stare at the tv for at least five minutes just in disbelief like i can't believe i lost that time and this is the one scenario that i've ever been a part of that completely justified that dumbfounded stare at the television.
Like, oh, maybe something will change. Did you do that on purpose? What? Justify.
Oh, that's good. Yes, I did.
We should at least mention because there is – because President Trump put out the tweet and spelled Kentucky wrong, then deleted it and did a tweet again. We have to throw out the best political horse racing tweet of all time from last year.
Remember, Sheriff Clark said Donald Trump should invite Justify to the White House lawn for winning the Triple Crown. Justify is a winner like Trump who care less about leftist identity politics.
Good point. Good point.
That horse does not care about your pronouns. I've never seen a horse being riddenden in an anti-for rally fucking a man uh that's when you know we've all lost our mind when horses politicize horse racing no just horses just the actual horse itself yeah the animals country home does literally mean white house country no no country home country but i'm saying House.
Country House. Country House.
Was it actually Country House? That's a terrible name for a horse. I'll just say it.
Country House. Yeah, it's not fun.
Maybe that's what they... Nobody has a country house.
...try to buy a country house. They bought a horse.
Oh. Buy a lake house.
Those deals. Oh, interesting.
They probably bought both. Yeah, absolutely.
You have to have a country house to keep your country horse at. Yes, absolutely.
All right, so let's do some NBA talk.

Hank, would you like to start with the Celtics?

Sure.

Where would you like to start?

Well, we were talking about it before the show.

The Celtics are in a classic case of they are flipping the switch,

and sometimes they forget to flip the switch,

but then they will flip the switch.

So has the flip been switched, or is it off?

It was switched after game one,

but it's like they're trying to get the electricity back on.

They're working on it.

But I don't know.

It's tough.

Giannis looks like a fifth grader that hit puberty

before everyone else on the playground

and just dominating everyone.

There's nothing.

Celtics aren't playing their best,

but it's also like he's so good that I don't really know

who you can really blame. Like I'm saying, the Bucs are going to just walk to the finals this year.
I'm very consistent on that. Travel to the finals.
Travel to the finals. Gyro step to the finals.
Yeah, euro step, but it's kind of a travel, but we really can't call it because we don't know. Actually, you know what Giannis does? He takes this thing where it's not really a euro step.
He, like, lands his plant foot, and then he kicks his foot up in the air twice. So he, like, sk like skips a step yeah he hops from his right foot back to his right foot without ever touching his left foot it's insane how he he can basically just be you know 18 feet from the basket and then boom he's got to lay it i read a story about yannis earlier today about how his greek coach found him and uh how his coach is like taking responsibility for all the uh the fact that he's a good ball handler, good passer, that type of thing.
And the story just boils down to I saw this giant kid playing on the playground, and he was just dominating everybody. And so I was like, I can make something of this child.
The air up there. Yeah.
Yeah. And the best story with Giannis is that every team went to Scottom except the Knicks.
Yep. You're right.
That is bad. Also, thoughts and prayers to James Dolan.
He's getting sued by a lot of, I don't know if it's his co-owners or the MSG people. Because they're saying that he's not spending enough time working on the Knicks because he's playing with his band too much.
And they should just let him do his band stuff all the time. Let him keep doing the kazoo.
Don't let him meddle with you.

If you're a Knicks fan, the best thing that could happen is James Dolan being like,

fuck, man, my band's on the road 300 nights this year.

If you're a Knicks fan, you should buy tickets to every single show in every city

and just have him go on a worldwide tour where he sells out every place that he's at.

Just keep him away from home as much as possible.

Make him the next kiss. Yeah, go on Amazon and just buy a shitload of kazoos and just send them to his office oh he'll come no if you just have a warehouse full of kazoos he'll show up he will show up um we should talk about the warriors dubs nation my warriors the warriors versus the warriors is an ongoing battle steph curry stinks well the question we have to ask is no longer who's the Batman on the team

because we know it's KD.

Yep.

The question is who is the Robin on the Warriors?

And I think right now it's coming down to Draymond and Klay Thompson.

Iggy's got a little step in him.

Iggy.

He got blocked.

Yep.

That was a bad visual for him.

That sucks so bad.

How much does it suck to be like you're an NBA player. You've made so much money.
You won a finals MVP. Slam dunk champion.
Slam dunk champion. And that one gift, that replay is going to be played 10 billion times.
And people will be like, oh, yeah, that guy. Oh, when he got viciously blocked at the rim.
And LeBron. And LeBron.
But we also had vindication for every dad out there who has been preaching that layup counts as two. Yep.
Because Steph tried to dunk at the end of the game, got absolutely stuffed by the rim in a hilarious moment. And I don't know what else to say besides the fact that Kevin Durant,'t he can't do everything himself for my Warriors he put the team on his very narrow back he's so fucking good he's very very good um it was an awesome game awesome game and I think that I think the Rockets might win the next year here's the thing if I'm if I'm Iggy I'm so excited that Steph missed that dunk at the end of the game yes because now that's the's the big clown moment.
And his is kind of like fading a little bit. It's not as bad as it could have been.
Yeah. When you have your perennial all-star, former leader of the team, getting rejected by the rim, that takes a little bit of the sting off of it.
What was that Steph stat you showed me, Hank? Dragonfly Jones, our boy, tweeted out that in 25 out of 99 playoff games, Steph hasn't put up 20. So basically one in four games he's not even putting up 20.
We nitpicked Steph. I still love Steph Curry because watching him play and watching him shoot and get hot is awesome.
But there is not one single superstar that I've ever seen in any sport that gets less shit for sucking than Steph Curry. He needs to go back to the old shoes, to the old nurse shoes that he had.
Since his shoes got all, like, fly on them, now he's, like, too cool for school. Yeah.
Could you think of anyone, though? Like, that's the real problem. Like, it's not even Steph's fault.
Like, it's nothing he is doing. It's an old joke about, oh, is Steph injured? That's just something that gets thrown out there by the media.
But he gets such a pass every time. I guess Peyton Manning a little bit.
But no, before he won a Super Bowl, everyone was on him. So I guess because he has three titles, and I think it's also because everyone sees him as the short, fun guy who can shoot from a million miles away.
And in warm-ups, he does all those cool things. Right, and the kids love him.
Steph is for the kids. But it's weird because every other superstar, if they have a moment like that, it's like nonstop getting ripped to shreds.
And Steph, I mean, I guess he got ripped a little bit, but not really. And Kevin Durant is stuck just trying to fucking drag this team to another final, Dubs Nation.
It's almost like they've played so much in the playoffs in the last couple years, they just want to take a summer off. They're like, hey, you know what? Taking a June vacation might be nice for a change.
Not KD. He's going to drag this team.
The other little thing that I love about the Rockets is whenever James Harden, whenever Chris Paul decides that he's going to be the point guard, James Harden pouts and stands so far away from the basket. That's not James Harden.
That's Jimmy Harden. When he gets into that mode, he stands far away.
And then once he becomes part of the offense again, he gets locked in. It's so funny.
He really will be like, I'm not playing unless I get to hold the ball for 20 out of 24 seconds of the shot clock. Yeah.
He was great, though. Him and KD going back and forth was amazing.
Unreal. So glad it went to overtime because I had the Rockets, so that was nice.
Nice little ticket cash. But yeah, that series is finally, all the series in the NBA right now are unbelievable.
Well, let me ask you this. So Boogie might come back.
Steve Kerr said that he's not ruling him out for the end of the playoffs. So does Steph go to the bench? So that's what I'm saying.
Steph Curry would be an impact six man. Listen, if he's the consummate teammate that he presents himself as, be that spark off the bench.
You're not wrong. Bring in a shooter.
The other series that is also, well, they're all really, really good, but the Raptors and the Sixers is essentially Kawhi Leonard being Superman versus Joel Embiid having the shit slash sneezes. Well, I think Superman is too animated of a descriptor for Kawhi.
He's T-1000. I was going to say he's Clark Kent because Clark Kent was a milk-toast guy.
How do you pronounce that word? Milk-toast. Milk-toast? Yep.
He was a milk-toast guy. But it's with a Q-U.
But you know that if he got into a fight, he could still whoop your ass in boxing, right? So I would say he's more like Clark Kent. And besides that, if you can shut down Kawhi, you can easily beat the Raptors.
But you can't shut down Kawhi at all. So here's some numbers for you.
This is game one through game four. Shooting field goal percentage, 70%, 54%, 59%, 65%.
He has 39 points, 33%, 35%, 45%. That's insane.
He's just – and he is – there's something about Kawhi that when you watch him, it's just incredible seeing a guy who, like, shows no emotion and he goes about everything in such a mechanical way that it's like you can't stop – even though you know what he's about to do, you can't stop him. And he's not doing it with any flash or anything.
He's just like, okay, here it is. I'm punching my, you know, he's about to do you can't stop him and he's not doing with any flash or anything he's just like okay here it is i'm punching my you know he's punching into work like a fucking steel mill guy right and work just happens to be draining threes and driving to the hole right even his hairstyle is boring it's it's the it's named after the most boring vegetable in the corn rose yes he probably asked him for soybean rose and they're like sorry kawaii that's not a thing yet most boring Yeah.
That's a hot take, I know. Oh, I would totally disagree.
Corn is up there for the best vegetables. Corn is very boring.
No, it's not. You can do so much with it.
Yeah, if you put stuff on it. Popcorn.
I love popcorn. Yeah, but it's also got color on the side.
Yeah, and it passes right through. You can see it again on your shift.
Yeah, it's the only vegetable. It's awesome.
Yeah, it just stayed. Double your value.
No, beets suck. So you bring up a good point about corn passing through you.
That is Kawhi Leonard. He's going to be the same person.
He's going to have the same temperament no matter if he's stuck in a pile of shit or if he's on a dinner plate. Can I just admit something right now? I really want to debate you on this, but I can't think of any other vegetables.
Carrots. Tomatoes.
Tomatoes are a fruit. Fruit.
Are they? Yeah. Fuck.
They're a fruit. I knew that.
You idiot. What are the vegetables? I think Hank did too.
I think Hank's getting better at trolling us. Vegetables.
This is bad that I'm searching. Yeah.
I just Googled what is a vegetable. Is romaine.
What are vegetables? Is lettuce a vegetable? Lettuce is a vegetable. So they are.
Oh, okay. I know what.
It's also a sick haircut. Yeah, I know what vegetables are.
So we got, let's see, some carrots. Yeah, carrots are pretty boring.
Again, corn. I'm talking corn on a plate.
Eggplants? Boring as fuck. What do you think about eggplants? Dude, eggplant.
Give me a take on eggplants. Well, it's an emoji.
It's probably the best emoji. Yams? Yams are good.
Yams are very good. But aren't those tubers? Aren't yams just like sweet potatoes Yeah Well yeah Very similar Pumpkins That's a vegetable That's a squash Tubers Yeah tubers Potatoes You're looking at some Fugazi list over there I'm looking at Wikipedia dude Lima beans Lima beans have to be worse than corn Give me a break Give me lima beans Worse tasting but not as boring You give me lima beans Cabbage Cabbage is the worst fruit.
I'll give you cabbage. I'll give you cabbage.
I almost said fruit. It's pretty bad.
Cabbage is the worst vegetable. I'm happy we had that debate.
But either way. So the bottom line is Kawhi Leonard is boring, but he's excellent.
Incredible. And I have a question about the Raptors.
Yes. This thought occurred to me yesterday.
Their jerseys are trash. You're right.
Yes. Their jerseys are awful.
They had a terrible take. Not the North ones I wore today.
No. Yes.
The usual jerseys are trash. No.
No. The North ones are bad.
They look like a pack of Winston cigarettes fucked Yugoslavian 1997 team. I did.
I will say I watched two episodes of Game of Thrones right before I turned on the game, so I was hyped up. North, Jon Snow, let's go.
Turn on the game. They were so bad.
They're good jerseys. it looked like an Atlanta Hawks knockoff, like $15 jersey by TJ Maxx when your dad's

like, you know what, he's not going to care about this team for a while, so I'm going

to buy him a fucking shitty jersey.

Yeah, like when you're growing.

No name on the back.

You're eight years old and you're going to grow out of it unless you're me.

Right.

But my other question was...

We're going to have to do not rush more best jerseys this summer.

Okay, if you put that on there, I will fight you.

And by that time, I'll be really jacked because we're going to have a bench press.

I think we've already done that like twice though.

No, but we can –

Best jerseys.

We'll do it again.

Play the hits.

Yeah.

Delete that part so that nobody calls us out on it.

The other question I had about the Raptors though, if they win the NBA title,

do they get the invite to the White House or do they get the invite to whatever the Canadian –

Justin Trudeau.

He's gone, right?

The Maple Tree Ranch where they just pull syrup out.

Thank you. Do they get the invite to the White House or do they get the invite to whatever the Canadian – Justin Trudeau.
He's gone, right? The Maple Tree Ranch where they just pull syrup out. No, actually – A log cabin.
I think they just actually just live stream everyone in that stupid plaza that all the Torontians stand and watch them harp. You get invited to Rob Ford's tomb.
When are they going to stop doing that? Like Toronto. I like Toronto a lot.
I've been there a couple times. Beautiful city.

Stop having half your city show up for a live stream and watching all their hearts break.

We do that here as our job.

And I don't want to do that.

When we do the electric chair, it sucks. You guys willingly stand in front of a bunch of cameras so everyone can laugh at you crying in your fucking syrup and Molson.
Stop. Stop.
Just go watch it at a bar like a normal human being. If they get the – what's the name of the championship trophy for the NBA? It's the Larry O'Brien.
The Larry O'Brien trophy. If they get that, do you think the prime minister just, like, scratches out NBA championship and just writes Stanley Cup on it? Well, the good thing is we'll never know because they never will.
We got another one. They will never, we'll never, we'll never, ever know.
We'll never, by the way, Joe Embiid, like what is wrong with him? He's sick. He was sick today.
It's, it's like the tired wired meme, tired being out of shape and hurting your knee all the time. Wired, just having a really bad immune system and being sick all playoffs.
He goes from the unquestioned future of the NBA to a scrub on like a nightly basis. Mark Jackson said he could be the best big man of all time and then the next game he's got the sniffles and has low energy.
What the fuck? That sounds like me. What the fuck? So the last series that we have to talk about is our Nuggets.
Shout out Nuggets fans. We rep Rado hard.
We unfortunately are in the new office and we don't have TV yet. Shout out all business Pete for being a bitch.
So we'll recap from Magic Johnson's tweets. So here we go.
Jamal Murray scored six straight free throws in the closing seconds and had a game high 34 points to lead the Nuggets over the Trailblazers. So there you go.
Nuggets won. You left out the most important part, the exclamation point at the end.
You showed a little emotion. There's another one, too.
Nikola Jokic has really caught my eye with his two triple-doubles in this series against Portland. Wow.
So Magic, who as of three weeks ago was part of an NBA organization, the president of basketball operations, has finally caught on to the guy who will most likely finish second or third in MVP voting. Yeah, that was a big red flag for me.
Holy shit. He's like, who's this Jokic guy? This Jokic guy seems pretty fucking good.
What's up with that? You know what? If I was in charge of a team in the West, I would try to get my hands on this guy. We should trade for him.
He must be like an undrafted rookie, huh? I don't know who will win the series with Toronto's victory over Philadelphia to even it up, but I do know that Kawhi Leonard has been dominating the series and put on a show today scoring 39 points, exclamation point. Actually, you know what? Magic Johnson ends most of his tweets with exclamation points, including his bio, which is the official Twitter account of Irvin Magic Johnson! Exclamation point.
So if you ever find yourself without TV and you want to know what happened in the NBA playoffs, go on to Old Magic's Twitter and you can figure it out pretty quickly. Yeah.
Give a nice recap. Him play-by-play in the NBA is like Norm MacDonald's play-by-play of golf tournaments.
Yes. By the way, that four-overtime game on Friday night.
So late. CJ McCollum has he hay.
What did he drop? No, he was close to 50. He was like 40-something.
He's been awesome. And shout-out to Jokic, who we just found out about.
65 minutes, and then afterwards people were like, how'd you do it? Basically saying, you're fat, dude. Yeah, I love how fat he is.
He's like, I used to be chubby. I think you kind of are.
He looks like a blocking tight end. Yeah, and this is the big theory is that game three is always the game where the chippiness comes out, and him fighting Cantor was awesome.
And then Cantor just trying to snitch to – You'd think Cantor is a guy who has a hit out, uh, would not be like a snitch, right? Because he's, he's like always playing with nothing to lose. I don't know.
It just seems, I don't know. Like, I don't know.
Maybe that, maybe that doesn't make sense. I think it feels like he should be the last guy to like go willingly go to the authorities.
Like dude, the authorities in Turkey want you dead. I know.
I would say the other way around. If you have a snitch out or if you have a hit out on you, you're probably only talking with cops all the time.
Like, hey, give me another update. Right, but you don't want to draw more attention to you.
So you think Jokic is going to kill him? No, I'm just saying he trended. You don't want to trend.
Yeah, you want to lay low. People know where you are.
I agree that you want to lay low. Hey, he's in Portland.
Yeah, oh my God, he's got a game tonight, I heard. Shit.
There he is. I do like Enos, and mostly because he's the only athlete that I can remember whose name rhymed with penis.
Yes. And that's just hit his comedy gold.
Well, Curtis. It's a very fertile ground.
Curtis Enos. That's right.
Yeah. So there we go.
We got two. Two of them.
Here we go. We got two big ones.
All right. Should we get to our who's back of the week? Let's do it.
Why you start big cat yeah big cat why don't you go ahead okay actually uh speaking of courtesyness uh former chicago bear great well i'll go with the bears kickers are back because matt nagy had a competition for uh the kicking job the vacant kicking job shout out cody parkey. Was that that thing they had in the town square?

No, it actually kind of was.

They had eight kickers show up to minicamp

and then Matt Nagy brought them all out

to the 43-yard line and said,

hey, this is where Cody Parkey fucked up.

You all have to kick from here.

And six out of eight of them missed.

That's not a great sign.

But they're great culture fits, you could say.

So now we're down to two.

Elliott Fry and Chris Blewett.

Blewett.

Elliott Fry is definitely a made-up name.

Chris Blewett, we know.

Definitely not a made-up name.

And that one is like, if Blewett becomes the kicker, everyone should be fired.

The problem with getting Blewett is if you're the Bears and you're trying to right all of your kicking woes,

it would look a lot worse if you misfired on a guy named Blewett is if you're the Bears and you're trying to right all of your kicking woes, it would look a lot worse if you misfired on a guy named Blewett.

Exactly.

Everyone should be fired.

I would much rather have a kicker that is slightly worse than Blewett

than have Blewett and have him miss an important field goal.

Exactly, because when he misses a field goal,

it will instantly become the biggest joke on Twitter.

And it's like my old saying, it doesn't matter. In the long scheme of things, if you're a field goal, it will instantly become the biggest joke on Twitter.
And it's like my old saying, it doesn't matter in the long scheme of things. If you're a sports fan, it doesn't really matter if your team wins or loses.
It just matters that you don't get embarrassed. Some fucking nihilism.
Just don't get embarrassed because they don't be the butt of everyone's joke. Just stay.
Look, not everyone can win championships. Let the fucking overachievers win the championships.
Let everyone else just stay in the middle. Stay calm.
Don't get made fun of. Yeah.
Win a wild card game once every three years. Exactly.
Keep the fans happy. Right.
And don't have a guy named Blewett go double doink on you from 43 yards. Right.
I agree with that. So they have two kickers left now.
You said six are gone? I think six have been cut. I could see Nagy trying to do this football guy thing where they overcorrect in the opposite direction.
Now he's going to become like the world's biggest genius with a kicking game. By the way, shout out this ambulance that we're getting on the record.
Great that we have a studio next to the fucking street. On the window.
Did we think about that before? No, we didn't. That's not.
We just wanted sunlight. It's not a busy area.
For our plants. This is a joke.
Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know.
It adds a little color to it. It's not a busy area.
That's the square garden. No.
No. The Mecca.
Right down the street. This ambulance is literally going to just drive into the studio right now.
I think that the ambulance is pulling up here because they heard Big Cat screaming, fuck, fuck, fuck. Wait, don't spoil it.
Thrones. I know, I'm not going to spoil it, but they heard your reaction.
Okay, sorry. They're like, either the world's biggest bitch is inside, or somebody's getting stabbed to death.
Yes, well. Somebody's getting stabbed.
Okay. Okay.
What were you saying? I can't remember. I don't even remember what I was saying.
Why do we have a studio next to windows? I was saying. What is going on? I was saying what Nagy's going to do is he's going to become like the biggest special team statistic guy and get multiple kickers depending on how long the field goal is.
Right. So he's like, this is our 40-yard plus specialist, and this is our extra point specialist.
This is our on-site kick specialist. Yeah.
I'm going to know everything there is to know about the kicking game. How about here? You want to be a genius?

How about you just have Tariq Cohen kick him?

Because I guarantee you he can.

He did a fucking backflip.

If you can do a backflip, you can kick a field goal.

So have that.

Save a roster spot.

Save the embarrassment.

Be the innovator whiz kid that you are and have Tariq Cohen be your kicker.

Or just don't kick.

Or just don't kick.

Be that high school coach in wherever.

Never punts.

Well, he never punts. I think he's still got to kick sometimes.
No, I think he goes for it on every fourth down. He goes for it on every fourth down and every two-point conversion.
Trubisky, he does a pooch punt, right? He could kick too. Shout out Michael Vick.
He could kick too. Absolutely could kick.
Absolutely. Just do that.
More teams should do that. Hank, you want to go? But that was a delayed onset bubble reaction right there.
I love those. He's just laughing about the fact that we literally just have this new, insane, insanely nice office.
And we put our fucking podcast studio next to a window across the street from Madison Square Garden. I got a few.
I got a few. Jesus Christ.
My first one. Shout out to Mark.
The shock. Titus is Mark.
A smart. Oh,icked, wicked smart.
He has been upgraded to questionable for game four, which they didn't think he was going to come back to the end of the series. But he got approved for contact in practice, and he said he accidentally took a charge during.
How much does that suck for everyone else in the Celtics when Marcus Smart gets approved for contact. You're like, fuck.
This is terrible.

Practice is not fun anymore.

He's like the ultimate guy that you hate, but you love him on YouTube.

My other who's back is SNL and Adam

Sandler. Yes.
So SNL

basically just did what Hollywood

does, just recreates movies. They had him

as the host. He did Opera Man.
He did a

tribute to Chris Farley. It was very

heartwarming and touching. Opera Man? he did opera man too yeah yeah yeah hank doesn't remember opera man i said he did oh okay i literally just said i didn't hear that part no the ambulance the ambulance said okay uh but yeah i thought he said aquaman oh no smart move by snl that's vinnie chase play the hits yeah's kind of lame to play all the hits But he hadn't been back No He never hosted I want to say Adam Sandler Is my grail king Is that what you said? You want to look like him? Yeah, like with the oversized baggy T-shirt, the muumus that he wears, the denim shirts that go down to his knees.
Boner dogs that he makes. He doesn't give a fuck about anything.
That's the life right there. That's true.
It's true. And he also, the best part about the Chris Farley tribute is he admitted that he wished Chris Farley was still alive so he could be in Grown Ups 3.
What do you think Kevin James is?

I think they've had that conversation.

Oh, yeah.

I kind of love Chris Farley because he's made me millions of dollars.

How many times do you think Adam Sandler has accidentally called Kevin James Chris?

A lot.

That sucks.

He's just like, sorry, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's like one of those awkward.

They're doing takes.

Could you do this a little funnier? Hey, Kevin, could you like throw your body around a little bit more? Take your shirt off. Could you start sweating? Let's get the hose out here.
Wet Kevin down before this take. I want you to look like you're stepping out of a sauna in hell.
Yeah. He really probably, Kevin James, more than a few times has been like at a dark bar by himself being like yeah this is pretty much all because chris farley died you think adam just like makes him dress up too and some of chris's old clothes yeah they put on this wisconsin shirt yeah put on the uh lunch lady here and that for me yeah but yeah it was very cool and i did like the song too the tribute to chris farley was awesome grew up up watching those guys, so that was good to see.
You done? Yeah, that was it. Who's back? Yeah, that was it.
Okay, my who's back of the week is Rally Animals. So I acknowledge my big mistake in overlooking the Carolina Hurricanes was not acknowledging Hamilton the rally pig.
And Hamilton is a big boy. She chonk as hell, just looking good.
She or he? It's he, but yeah, it sounds cool. I say she chunk.
And so the Hurricanes are playing good hockey. Don Cherry's pissed off.
And it's all because they have this awesome fucking rally pig. The pig is so cool.
And it's so fucking funny when they put the pig in his little like it's a wagon. His wagon.
He's got a wagon. And they put him right where the guys come out to the ice.
And the pig has no clue where he is. And they're just like, it's just a pig that's just minding its own business while everyone gets pumped up.
I actually had an embrace debate for you, PFT, but I'll do it right now. Okay.
Which is better? Losing to the team that will probably win the Stanley Cup championship? The Cup? We're going that far? Yeah. With the Hurricanes? Well, the Hamilton pick.
Okay. Or losing to a team and then realizing that the next team that you would have played, you would have rolled right over and probably went back to the Cup final and won another one.
Well, I think maybe an option three would be losing because two of your best Russian players don't show up in the playoffs. And then they go play for the Russian national team and absolutely dominate the rest of the world the next week.
Hypothetically, that would be tough. It would be tough for me to deal with mentally.
Ovi gets paid probably like $7 million per goal when he plays in the KHL. Yes.
Well, I'm not talking about Ovi. I was talking about Berkovsky.
Did Ovi play too?

Kuznetsov.

I think he did. Ovi dominated in the playoffs, so I'm not mad at him, but Kuznetsov did not show up.

But what about the time when he had the golf clubs above his head?

But that's because of the rally pig Hamilton.

Okay, yeah.

So you would have definitely swept the Islanders and probably gone back.

Well, we get into this a little bit with – well, no, we got into it with Whitney on Friday. I think a lot has to do with the fact that we toughened the Hurricanes up for round two.
You were like warm waters for them. The Gulf of Mexico.
The fucking Islanders had to play against the shitty Pittsburgh Penguins, which was a cakewalk. It's like playing against a Mites team.
And so now they go in and they're like, oh, shit to play an actually good team hey look new york islanders might have been stanley cup uh champions brooklyn islanders they stink not not the same magic in the barn stink my other who's back of the week is billy mcfarland oh yes oh he of fire fest fame um he's writing a book in jail. Okay.
And it's called Prometheus,

not Prometheus, Prometheus.

Well, that's kind of his thing, right?

Spelling shit incorrectly.

He's definitely back. Prometheus,

God of Fire, F-Y-R-E,

which is documenting all the

different times he did not commit fraud

on a wide scale. And

also, Major, who's back for him

because he has a new buddy in the prison that he's in. So we know that he's in prison with the situation.
Yep. It's been established.
Michael Cohen, Trump's lawyer, is getting sent to that prison as well. Nice.
So the three of them, they got a little triumvirate going on there. All the heavy hairs.
Cook up with... Is Shkreli there? Shkreli should be there.
Yeah. Shkreli's with C-Block's with uh c block all and and jbo yeah all the internet memes in one prison meme prison would be the worst place ever they should actually just like hell is other memes do do meme prison put it on vh1 all the money goes to all the people that were defrauded i like that i mean give the people what they prison? Yeah, give the people what they want.
How come we... I'm surprised the United States hasn't reached the point where we live broadcast prisons to people.
Meme prison. Meme prison.
I think we just hit another billion dollar idea. I'm in.
Fuck. Okay, let's get to our interview with Richard Jefferson.
By the way, Ja Rule definitely has to do the forward for that book. He will.
Well, it's just going to be that toast. Here's to partying like rock stars.
Fucking like porn stars. I forgot what the second one was.
Party like rock stars. Fucking like porn stars.
And then coming on her. Wait, no.
That's a different one. And then living like rock stars.
Partying like movie stars. Living like movie stars.
Partying like rock stars. Fucking like porn stars.
Damn, that is so cool, man. Fuck.
Someday I hope I'm that cool. All right, let's do Richard Jefferson.
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Okay, here he is. Zero time NBA All-Star Richard Jefferson.
Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest. Oh, recurring.
Former NBA. How many All-Star games you go to? Zero.
Okay, former non-NBA All-Star Richard Jefferson. That sucks, man.
I'm sorry. It's all right.
He did that on purpose. Well, when you get in the second interview interview it's like I don't have to do the like we don't do the background story you're now a recurring guest okay like welcome here we don't have to be like hey remember that time in Arizona we can just be like hey remember that time you didn't make any all-star yeah that's so much easier because it's like honestly I think more importantly and I think the thing I'm most proud of is my bronze medal right so I'd rather I'd rather discuss that than my never making an All-Star game.
So what happened in those Olympics? Argentina? Yeah, Argentina happened. They were tough that year.
That was Manu, right? Yeah, that was Manu. It was tough, right? I felt like it was just – people wanted us to be ambassadors for the game, and I felt like what better way to be ambassadors than to let another country win.
Get a rivalry global game game. You also helped.
I remember that Olympics and everyone after was like, this is the most embarrassing thing ever. Make sure none of these guys are on this team again.
Let's reconfigure USA basketball. Yeah, that actually started the process of US.
Yeah, and I was like, yo, you're welcome. I told Kyrie that.
I was like, Kyrie, you're welcome. They started the US Select team after us.
Coach K got involved. Coach K got involved.
They're like, okay, enough of these rift drafts. I was glad.
Even if we were on the suicide mission, even if you're on the suicide mission to go win the war, I'm okay with that. Yeah, you've won basically all the gold medals since that point.
You kind of have a part in it. Yeah, you're welcome.
I should get an honorary gold medal. Melo should definitely give you a kickback.
Do they give those honorary gold medals? We can make one. Mellow will find a way to get one in a couple years.
He'll have enough. He'll have enough.
Yeah, you can buy one in goodwill that Mellow's just thrown out when he's moving houses. You brought up Kyrie.
I kind of want to start there. So Kyrie, last night, I'm assuming you watched the Celtics-Bucks game last night, he had an abysmal night shooting, but he didn't stop shooting.
And that's kind of Kyrie. That's his MO.
He's going to keep going because he's got confidence in himself. When you were playing with a guy that might be that talented, maybe even it was Kyrie, and they run into a tough night from the floor, at what point do you start getting frustrated as a teammate being like, hey, spread the ball around, or do you have that faith in him as well? You have to have that faith in your guy and your hero, right? Like every team has a guy that's like, all right, it's your turn.
Go get it. But if you look at the rest of the game, who else did anything? Jason Tatum wasn't doing anything.
Jalen Brown, what was he doing? What was Gordon Hayward doing? So it was more of like when you lose by 20, it wasn't just because Kyrie struggled. I think the rest of that team is talented enough that they would have figured it out.
If Jason Tatum had 26 points, I don't think Kyrie was going to just move him over so he could go three for 22. That wasn't going to happen.
Do you still talk to Kyrie at all? No, we haven't really spoken. Okay.
So maybe this actually helps your answer because you haven't spoken with him. What did you take from his year? It's been up and down in terms of being the leader.
That was the whole, I want to leave Cleveland, I don't want to be in LeBron's shadow. Then I think he quickly found out that it's probably harder than anyone realizes to be the alpha on a team, a team that has championship expectations.
Were you surprised at all that Kyrie had trouble with that? Like, when you were around him, was he tough maybe day-to-day to read his mood or whatever? No, let's say this. I think some of the up and downs weren't necessarily all his fault.
I think bringing back Gordon Hayward and him to a team that had won, you know, that were, you know, one game away from going to the NBA Finals. I think for the young players to make that adjustment to downgrade their game so that they could actually get growth from Gordon and to get Kyrie back, I think that was difficult.
And I think Kyrie did a fairly good job, but it's a new place for him. Understand Kyrie's still 26 years old.
years old? Yeah, it's crazy. But we've been watching him.
He hit one of the biggest shots in sports history and NBA history two years ago. And you're like, dude, the guy, he's not even in his prime yet.
A basketball player's prime is like 28 to 32. So for him, the prime is not just physical.
It's also emotional. It's also mentally.
So he will continue to know, he will continue to get better. And I think, you know, that's when you become a great leader.
Right. When you were playing, as the playoffs go on, it's exhausting.
It's almost like another, what, quarter of a season sometimes to add on there at the end. Was there ever a small part of you that was just like, you know, it wouldn't be the worst thing if we lost because I'm tired.
I don't like to go home. No.
No. You know, there are moments where you're you're like, do we really want to...
No, but you always want to do that because the postseason is the most fun. People ask me, do you miss basketball? 17 years, do you miss basketball? Hell no, I don't miss basketball.
I do miss the postseason. Oh, so ball isn't life for you? What? Ball isn't life? It was at one point.
It's the other stuff, I bet, like waking up early, going to practice, doing all the running and shit. Yeah, when you're playing a Tuesday game in Milwaukee and then a game, a back-to-back game in Sacramento, and then you're flying to Utah.
It's just like I don't miss that when you're on a plane during New Year's. I've been on a plane when I was like, congratulations, happy New Year's, everyone.
And you're just like, awesome, this is a lot of fun, guys. But playoffs, you miss.
Playoffs is the best thing to me. It is the most fun.
I would watch the most basketball during the postseason as a player. So that's the best part of the game.
That's what everybody wants to play. So in the postseason, you're never in a rush for it to be over.
So we're going to probably run this on Monday, so there will be some basketball that happens in between. Game three of the Rockets-Warriors.
But you did say, I saw this maybe two days ago or yesterday, you said Kevin Durant is the most unguardable human that's ever been created. Yes.
And you played with LeBron James, and you played against Kobe, and you played against MJ for a minute. Well, again, I see where you're going with this.
I'm just wondering. No, I want you to expound on it.
I kind of agree with you in a weird way. And this is what I'm saying.
I'm not saying he's better than Jordan. I'm not saying he's better than Shaq or Kobe or Bron.
I'm not saying any of that. What I'm saying is that when you look at all these guys, and I think there's been other guys get there, he does things at such an efficient level and at such a high rate.
He's won four scoring titles. How many scoring titles would he have if he stayed in OKC? He would probably be up there when we're talking about six, seven scoring titles.
James Harden probably would have beat him one or two years. We're talking about a guy that would have six or seven scoring titles in his career because he's that good.
But he's a seven-foot two-guard. He shoots 90% from the free-throw line.
He's shooting 50% from three right now and 50% from the field and averaging 40 points a game over his last five. Only thing I'm saying is, look, Shaq couldn't shoot free throws.
MJ wasn't seven feet. MJ wasn't seven feet lebron couldn't shoot no don't get me wrong i'm taking mj in a game right right i'm just saying if you had to create a basketball player i think the two guys that you would create are probably braun and and kd for very different reasons yeah right so like that that's my thing it's a good point i and it's a good debate to have because i do agree with Like in terms of when you take it out of not greatest, just like man to man.

And actually, four a game. Like KD might put up 10 threes in a night, and look, think about it.
We all know how great Steph is. But how good are you when you show up to a team with a two-time MVP, and you immediately turn him into Pippen, and he's in the prime of his career? Wait, so have you changed? Because you were critical of Kevin Durant when he went to the Warriors.

You said he kind of stole a ring from you.

And as a podcast, we have literally never, PFT, you can fact check me,

we've never said a bad word about Kevin Durant ever.

Yeah, we love him.

No, I didn't.

The best way to say my issues were more in a playful manner.

Okay.

Of this league, hashtag this league. Yeah, people weren't, he didn't think it was as funny as I did.
Really? Kevin? Kevin, yeah. It's surprising.
He's got a good sense of humor. No, but my whole issue was never with like, I understood why he went there.
Same reason why I went to go to Cleveland. And I was like, I want to play for a championship.
I want to play good basketball. I want to be on the highest level.
And he felt like that was the best thing. I have no issue with that.
But the only issue that was more of like, hey, dude, you understand you're going to get some heat. He criticized Braun.
He criticized Braun when Braun went to Miami. And then even then, when Braun became the villain in Miami in everyone's eyes, he did the same thing after criticizing him.
And then he became the villain. And then he acted like he was surprised that he was the villain was the right i agree with that where where can he go again as a podcast has literally never said anything bad about kevin durant where can he go to satisfy the haters like you oh wow see i think we've said a lot of shit about kevin durant yeah i believe you uh my thing is like he can go anywhere he wants i'm a firm believer and do whatever makes you happy your family happy but understand like as the great player on the mount rushmore of our generation as he is that people are going to have opinions and those opinions are going to be what drives the league that those opinions are going to be what pays the nba players paychecks if the nba stops talking about you or if the maddie the media stops talking to you that's bad for your shoe sales that's mad bad for jersey sales.
That's bad for your overall brand. Yeah, bad for everybody.
I'll tell you what would totally fix everything with KD. If the Sonics went back to Seattle, he joined the Sonics again.
Oh, he'd be a legend. And then took them to a title.
Legend. That'd be awesome.
Even if he didn't take them to a title. Just made them competitive.
One of my things that I firmly believe is just have an opinion about me you hate me or love me but just tell me your opinion because the minute you stopped caring about me and you don't even want to address me that's when you have an issue i love how much i hate kd oh yeah i'll just say good guy bad tattoos me yeah 100 i have a hand tattoo are you are you happy you're in media now so people can slowly forget your RJ tattoo? No, no, no, no, no, because I still talk about my RJ tattoo, right? I still talk about it. I'm proud of it.
No, proud's the wrong word. No, I'm proud of the person I was at the time when I got it.
That's a great answer. You've accepted it.
It's not going anywhere. You might as well embrace it.
Yeah, I was 17 years old when I got in. I was on my visit to Arizona.
Like, the talk about just putting your balls on your table right there. Your parents don't know that you're going to a college, and you're just like, my mom saw it like a week later and was like, what is that? I was like, it's a tattoo.
And she was like, I'm cool now, Mom. Yeah, she was like, wait, what? And at that point in time, obviously it was done.
And two, I was going to college. What did you say to me? You're a man.
I'm going to have you put your GM hat on real quick. Oh, let's go.
By the way, do you have any interest whatsoever in getting into the game, like working for a team at some point? I have interest in money. So, you know, whenever the opportunity presents itself.
We'll help you. Okay.
Thank you. Let's put your Magic Johnson hat on.
Okay. Oh, wow.
Yeah. How do you fix the Lakers in three moves or less? I would change everyone that's in my front office, and then I would go and steal someone from the Spurs.
Trajan Langdon is a guy that's up for the Minnesota job. He was a part of the Cleveland thing.
He was a part of bringing the Nets around. I think he's up there.
I think there needs a lot more checks and balances. I think even Jeannie Buss needs somebody that can tell her no or can go in there and win an argument.
And it doesn't have to be someone that she's friends with for 20 years or someone that she knows. And that's an issue for people.
That's very difficult. I think Jeannie Buss is a great owner from the standpoint that she cares about their team.
She cares about her family legacy. So all that stuff's great.
But you still need somebody to be in there like, no, this is wrong. And Magic, anybody that needs to know how the Lakers have been run in the last couple of years, look at how Magic Johnson left.
That should let you know how it was being run. Right.
And the backstory that he was possibly BCC'd accidentally on some emails trashing him. So it's like the whole thing is just a circus.
It's a circus. And so you bring in somebody that's just, hey, no, this is not what we're about.
Right. Look, David Griffin, who just got the New Orleans Pelican job, I think he is a person that knows how to run a team.
You've got to get someone with experience.

Jeannie Buss,

even though she's been a part of the team, she's

the figurehead now. Then you had Magic

Johnson, no experience in that job.

Rob Pelinka, no experience in that job.

No assistant, no assistant

GM. So you just look at it and there was like,

even though they were great names and I think very good

basketball minds and people that care, there

was no one with any experience in the actual job that they were doing. Yeah, I mean, ultimately it felt like get LeBron and everything else will figure itself out.
And I'll give, look, the one thing that I will give Magic Johnson credit for, and people might think this is amazing, the only thing that you can do in anything is leave it in a better place than you found it. And I truly believe— Ooh, do you think he did? I 100% think that he left the Lakers in a better place than he found it.
If you help recruit LeBron... See, I don't even think he did that.
I think LeBron already picked it. Agreed, but at the end of the day, when he showed up, when he left.
Doesn't matter all the stuff in between. I just think it's overstated that Magic recruited LeBron.
LeBron does what LeBron wants. I was number one in saying that exact same point.
I don't think that Magic Johnson had any influence on whether or not LeBron was going there. That being said, at the end of the day, Magic can always put that on his resume.
I was the president that helped bring LeBron James up. He didn't fuck it up.
And you know what? That's an important thing. That is true.
If James Nolan wouldn't fuck it up. That's a low bar to set when we all – It's a great bar to have.
It's a great bar to have, though. Don't fuck it up.
Yeah, look at the Giants. Look at the Giants in their six pick, right? Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, exactly. You get handed aces, you play the aces.
You play the aces. So, yeah.
So, speaking of the Lakers and LeBron, your former teammate, Channing Frye, did an interview where he said the number one thing about LeBron is his bad breath. Oh, my God.
So, Dave is going to be so upset. He was like, so you said, right, when we're doing the slice, we did a little pizza thing.
He's like, so you said, you know, I hate LeBron. You know, you said that he, and I was like, oh, that was Channing Frye.
That wasn't me. He was devastated.
He was so bummed out. They're probably going to cut it out.
They're probably going to edit it out. Which would be great because we're not going to edit this out.
We're not going to edit this out. Yeah.
So, but was Channing Frye right? You know what? This is what I'll say. Like, man, everybody's had a bad day.
Yeah. Interesting.
Everyone's had a bad day. I can honestly say that's not been my experience.
Channing's a bit of a close talker. Yeah.
Right? So I can see that. But- Don't shame Channing because he was the one who got, like, bad breath.
Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying. It's okay.
I'm okay with victim shaming and fat shaming in these type of spaces. But I'm just saying Channing Frye, if that's what his experience was, I'm not going to shortchange his experience.
Okay. Is LeBron an alcoholic? No.
He drinks a lot of wine. He took you a second.
Drinks a lot of wine. No, no.
Because we're all all we're all alcoholics my wife thinks we're all alcoholics okay if you go by what the doctor says yeah yeah when they say like do you have more than one or two drinks a week it's like what the fuck yeah have you ever had like do i live am i alive is that what you're asking me yes pretty much do you take more than one or two breaths a day it's like yeah yeah have you ever had three beers in an. Well, we got a problem.
Yeah. We got a problem.
Yeah. So do you think that it's a problem for LeBron, not necessarily the wine, but him being out in LA, having all the different productions that he's got going on right now, do you think that there is an element of lost focus? Nobody wants to be in Space Jam.
No. And this is why.
We'll go back to his injury, right? When he got injured on Christmas Day. Oh, that's bullshit.
No, don't, don't. So they were third best in the West.
It was like they were all one game apart. That's fine.
I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying that everything was fine, and then their team had a slew of injuries, and then the free agency thing, or not free agency, but the trade deadline.
LeBron tried to trade the team. Well, you know, there were people associated with that.
I'm with you. Yeah.
But I'm just saying, like, no one was really talking about distractions then. It was post then.
No, that's okay. And so that's my thing.
It's like, when they were good and before a 17-game injury happened to him, they were good and no one was talking about distractions. No one was talking about distractions in wine the previous 10 years when this guy was drinking wine.

You're right. When you win, all those distractions aren't distracting.
They were actually character building.

Exactly.

Going off LeBron for a second, you are doing a ton of media now. You're great at it.
You work for the Nets. You do FS1 stuff.
Get up.

At what point in your career are you going to transition into a back-in-my-day guy?

I'm really going to try and avoid it. I'm going to try and avoid it.
I've been trying my best. You're not going to be able to.
No, you're not. You're not going to.
I would say I'm very, very fortunate being current right now. I think you should lean into it.
No, I don't. It almost sounds asinine because if I say back-in-my-day, I literally stop playing eight months.
It's going to happen. it's gonna happen it's gonna happen for all of us yeah so are you are like when are you ready for like when that period's gonna start yes yes you gotta be ready for when your period starts when they bring out the four-point shot and you're like back in my day they didn't have a four-point shot that would be the dumbest idea that'd be the dumbest idea but no i i think really and truly it's just whatever you feel like it's time because not only do you when you get older you bring the people that watched you play and watched you get interviewed for 15 years so when you're saying something about like back in my day you're also talking about all the people for like a 20 year span that remember the game a certain way so yeah you might not be talking to the young kids that are doing it, but you're talking to the familiar people that understand how you're trying to express the game.
Got it. Okay, one last question from me.
So, as we mentioned before, it's going to be Rockets against the Warriors on Saturday night. We're going to air this on Monday.
So, give me your guarantee who's winning game three. Ooh.
I'm going to say Houston is going to win one game. And if Houston wins one game, if Houston wins one game, the only game they will be able to win was game three.
If they don't win game three, obviously they're going to get swept, in my opinion. But if they have one chance to win one game, if not get swept, this will be their game.
So guaranteed game three, Houston Rockets. You're such a dick.
All right, last question for me. That series, actually it was also the Celtics-Bucks series.
There's a lot of talk about the refs. Yeah.
So can you remember a time or how did a team deal with, you get to the arena, you know the ref assignment, you know this guy fucking hates your guts? No. See, look, this is what real basketball people say, and they can't say.
Oh, this is good.

We're going to cut this part, and then we're going to say it. This is what they can't say when they're doing games.

There are certain referees that you want to see going into an arena, right?

Now, they will never say this, and we would talk about this privately.

But, like, look, if I'm going into a road game,

now the Houston Rockets don't like Scott Foster.

But if I was, let's say I'm in my sixth year, we're going into Boston on the road,

I want to see Scott Foster. I want to see Steve Javvy, who does all the TV stuff now.
I want to see Joey Crawford. Those are the guys, those kind of dickheads, those assholes, those guys that are kind of just like, leave me alone.
I have to do my job. Those are the guys that I want.
So I would take Scott Foster. They don't get pushed around.
And if anything, get pushed. And if anything, if the home team or the home crowd starts acting like jerks, they will

actually go the other way.

So like the best way, and I

don't mean it like they'll

start cheating.

I mean it in a sense that

like you want to leave these

men alone and allow them to

do their job.

Right.

Right.

I remember AI saw Steve

Javvy.

I'm doing a game.

And so the rookie, I forgot

who it was.

Maybe it was Sam Dallenberg

was yelling at Steve Javvy. And AI looked at him.
He's like, boy, do you know who you're talking to? And Steve Javvy starts laughing. He's like, man, he'll throw you out of here and your family.
And so there are referees that you want to see in road games. There's referees that you want to see in a game seven.
Like Monty McCutcheon is one of them. There's a bunch of refs that you want to see in those moments.

So I understand that there's beefs in this sideways and all that stuff,

but at the end of the day, and a lot of guys won't say that,

there's referees that they want to see.

Do you think the Rockets have gone too far where they're too –

like I always think once you spend this much energy complaining about the refs,

you've completely lost what you're going for here.

Yeah, I think they did too.

I think – and the funny thing too is like I love draymond i love steve kerr arizona guy but did you see their interviews post game yeah they're like i thought the referees did a great job right you know and draymond's like look i love this game and it's just sad to me that people want to bring referees and so it's like wait wait does anybody have clips from six months ago like oh the rep we got to fix these referees and the referee was like, wait a second. Now that kind of things are going your way and things are on your side, had that been Steph and had that been Clay and you would have lost a game, they would have been politicking.
They would have been going nuts. So that's also one of the beautiful things about basketball is you can literally watch in real time someone completely bullshit.
It's kind of funny. I like that.
Okay. Richard Jefferson, recurring guest.
Thank you very much. We appreciate you coming on every time.
Also, Jared Dudley's dodging us. Can you hit him up? Why? He's dodging us.
We called him out. Really? He said he would do an interview and then he decided not to and then he said that he never agreed to it but we got the receipts.
And then we told... You got the receipts? You guys are paying people? You guys have never paid me to be on here.
And said he will do it and then I also we also took a hard line stance where we had Jimmy Butler and Ben Simmons side in that whole beef you guys you guys are just so charming when you guys disagree with someone you gotta pick sides we're also very biased but we hope if you say you're biased we're like we literally said yeah Jimmy Butler and Ben Simmons were on the right because Jared Dudley didn't do an interview with us. It's that simple.
That's fair. So you want me to hit up Jared and be like, yeah.
Look, I think you guys. I had fun.
Just left the part of my take, guys. Man, they're fun.
Yeah, but then I would be lying. Then I would be lying.
And that's the issue here. That's what my credibility is at stake.
Now I'm in Argentinistan. Now I love Argentinian basketball.
Don't cry for me, Argentina. You look like you're Argentinian.
Yeah. You know? Yeah.
I just love my country. We're embarrassing beef all day.
Yeah, there we go. I'm sorry.
Who else was on that team? Was Steph Marbury? Yeah. LeBron James was on that team.
Carmelo Anthony. Oh, LeBron James got a bronze.
We should put that on his rounds. LeBron's got a bronze.
LeBron's got a bronze. Love it.
Three and six in the finals in a bronze. He was 19 at the time.
Doesn't matter. Don't try to change.
All of us. I was like 23.
Yeah, but we're already going to run with this. It was LeBron's team.
Definitely, it was all bronze ball. Thanks, RJ.
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Find all One Bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com. Hey, what's going on there, you at the hockey game on do i know you guys i'm ryan whitney i got a drink named after me not a big deal pink whitney that's what i thought see you fellas i invented the thing you pigeon pink whitney for legendary moments okay let's get to some segments first up we have a new segment new segment.
New segment alert, Hank. It's a no swag off, a.k.a.
the Giants quarterback competition. Is it a competition yet? No, it's definitely a competition.
It's definitely a competition, though, and the winner of the competition will be who between Daniel Jones and Eli Manning ends up showing the least amount of swag by training camp. So what happened to start the no swag off? Well, Daniel Jones got drafted.
Daniel Jones got drafted. That's what began it, and his coach Cutcliffe said— Daniel Jones was born.
Yeah, he was born. Without any swag.
If he was born or he would just emerge from tapioca ooze that was just the least— Somewhere in Mississippi. Yeah, just the least amount of swag possible at birth and Cutcliffe said real swag is no swag that's her motto for him so they asked Eli what he thought about drafting Daniel Jones his potential replacement and he said he really had no response to it so Eli Manning is coming over the top with even less swag than Daniel Jones it's basically it's a bachelor style competition for Dave Gettleman's heart yeah to can be the most milquetoast quarterback.
There we go. Eli Manning, reach for common.
Yeah, I should have put a southern twang on it. Hold on.
Dad, the reporter's asking me questions again. Hold on, son.
I got this. I got this.
My boys are going to be just fine. Oh, man.
The swagless Giants. God damn it.
Poor Saquon. I can't wait.
We're about to get the Saquon Barkley deserves better stories. It's coming.
Oh, it's already. We had a little last year, but it's going to go like everyone was like, oh, well, he's just a rookie.
Who knows? Now it's going to get as soon as Daniel Jones. I can't wait till Saquon retires like year eight because he's like, fuck this shit.
I'm Barry Sanders in this. Dave Gettleman's continued incompetence is actually very, very bad for my Washington R words.
Yeah. Because right now you ever hear that that old saying where if you're running away from a tiger against somebody, you don't have outrun the tiger you just have to outrun the guy next to you and in this case uh dan snyder is like running laps around dave gettleman oh yeah the last year and a half just wait three years yeah that's all the government said give him three years you'll see how fucking awesome he could sit on the he could sit on the bench for three years and then come in in his fourth year when he's absolutely at the most worthless force.
And Eli Manning is still a corpse of himself. Yeah, he's going to do the Aaron Rodgers.
He'll just be Aaron Rodgers by sitting him for three years. That's how it works, right? That's all it takes.
That's all it takes. You could either do it that way or you could go the Tom Brady model and just draft a quarterback in the sixth round.
Yeah. And then have him be independent, wealthy through his wife so he doesn't need huge contracts.
And then keep winning Super Bowls. And then keep winning Super Bowls.
That's the model I would personally follow. Follow that model.
You'll do the Aaron Rodgers or the Tom Brady. You'll win some football games.
I think we just cracked the case. Yeah.
We have a Tim Tebow update. Bad news for your boy, PFT.
What's bad news uh he's batting 143 and not only that that's perfect wait hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on 143 means i love you the worst part of this is not that he's batting 143 it's that he's just making no headlines anymore he's become a complete non-factor skip bayless can't even do a segment about him they should bring him up. The Mets should absolutely bring him up.
I think he said that he was going to be brought up this year. They're idiots if they don't.
Well, he stinks. So what? Let him stink out loud instead of stinking in a corner somewhere that nobody pays attention to.
Sell some tickets. Tim Tebow might be like, I don't think so.
I don't really want to face Major League Baseball hitting when I can't even hit AAA. Every at-bat would look like Willie Mays' last at-bat, where he just swings and falls down.
Man, it's tough. It's tough, Tebow.
He's on-base percentages, 211. Okay, it's my favorite kind of malt liquor.
Yes, slugging 186. From a numerological standpoint, it's all adding up to me.
Yeah. How many lives has he saved with home runs that hit somebody that was choking on a hot dog? I don't think he's hit any home runs, so that's a problem.
He's gone four for his last 33. He needs to get a swag bet.
He needs to save somebody's life. Or circumcise someone in the Philippines.
Yeah. And then he'll be back.
Or just anyone. Just circumcise anybody.
Circumcise the closest person to you, Tim Tebow. The closest cock you can find, circumcise that shit.
Find the player on your team that has the most remaining foreskin and give him a second circumcision. Yeah, movie idea.
Major League Four. People forget there was a Major League Three.
Major League Four and Tim Tebow is Jobu, and he's sitting there before the game being like, I got to get my swag back. I got to hit this curveball.
And he's just circumcising a little child. Bring your baby.
And everyone's like, yo, dude, what the fuck are you doing? And then he gets arrested for child pornography. End of the movie.
Would you let your son be circumcised by Tim Tebow? Yeah. Let's make that happen.
Duh. No.
I would not. I would not.
Okay. If I had foreskin, I'd let him circumcise me.
Why don't you just double it up? Can I get a foreskin graft? No, you can probably. Put it back on? No, you can get doubled up.
It's like a pencil that you keep doing. I don't have that many inches to spare.
You keep shaving off a little pencil. You sharpen it.
Yeah. You get the sharpest this in New York City.
I would like that. Okay.

Last up before we get to our Monday reading and Game of Thrones recap.

LeBron update.

LeBron is not in the playoffs, but he's still making headlines.

The barbershop.

The shop.

The shop.

Sorry.

The shop that's in a barbershop.

You're thinking of Nick Saban's.

Yeah, that's right.

So I watched a little bit of it, and it's so awkward that he's just sitting in that huge chair and not getting his hair cut.

It's his throne.

But he's not getting his hair cut.

Because he's LeBron.

He doesn't really have hair to get cut.

Every time LeBron James gets a haircut, he has to go have another hair implantation surgery.

But it would be like saying, let's start a show called The Bar, and just none of us drink.

Yeah.

Or if it was a recovering alcoholic, and you're like, hey, the show is called The Bar.

By the way, I can't have anything to drink.

Well, he can get trimmed up on his beard.

You can do something.

He does get trimmed up on his beard.

It gets lined up.

It's already lined up.

It's like Oscar Pistorius having a sneakerhead show.

Is he in jail?

Seth Rogen got a full haircut on it.

He did?

That's actually funny.

He doesn't watch sports either.

But anyway, the only news we got out of it was that lebron was shocked by magic leaving the lakers yeah and lonzo didn't give a fuck was like what are we doing tonight uh coos which is awesome because lonzo's actually being a 22 year old or 21 year old yeah that's the perfect lonzo response yes i like how lonzo is finally this is his first taste of freedom that he's getting oh yeah ever since big baller brand is kind of disassociate he's no longer like did he officially divorce his dad they talked about that on the show it wasn't his dad it was like his business partner who was his dad's best friend like had a room in the house and shit he was the one that like fucked the family over and Lonzo was like I call my dad I never saw this coming it was the first time that his dad ever had nothing to say when he was like I'm'm fucking out on Big Baller Brand. Big Baller Brand getting taken down in huge, massive fraud.
Never saw that. Anytime your parents just have a random dude that's living in their house that controls a significant amount of their financial responsibilities.
Red flag. Well, any time.
Did you see the Dane Cook story about his brother? Yeah. Same thing.
Also full house. I guarantee you Uncle Jesse was embezzling the shit out of all that.
Oh, yeah. Anytime a dude's just living in the house for a little bit, it means that he's rock bottom as rock bottom gets.
Dave Coulier also in that exact same house. He wasn't working as a comedian.
He had both uncles. Just sucking off that teat.
Off that sweet saggetteat. So LeBron, he's doing TV shows instead of playing in the NBA playoffs.
That's it. LeBron, listen, KD versus MJ is becoming a real debate.
I don't know if you guys have seen the timeline. Yeah.
But people are talking about it. Who's the GOAT, KD or MJ? I don't know.
Also, it's a good debate to have. Kind of weird that LeBron had no idea that Magic Johnson was leaving.
That shows that Magic probably didn't have a whole lot of respect for LeBron. Just out there yeah I the LeBron magic relationship was one of those things that like the media and I mean I'm sure I I did this as well people all kind of made it out to be this huge thing like magic went to LeBron and was like they've got together and the joining of powers they probably fucking didn't even talk they were just like LeBron is doing his own thing.
Magic is magic.

They didn't talk.

They're two fucking alphas.

They probably just stayed away from each other.

Yeah.

It's a very, very strange situation for LeBron.

I want to believe that the Lakers are going to be a lot better next year

just because I do miss LeBron in these playoffs.

Like it or not, I don't know.

I feel like I can just watch the shop and get my film.

I miss him. I miss having his grimaces when he's got dumbass teammates like Jarrett Smith.
The time he showed everyone his dick. Yeah, the time that he pulled his pants down, the time he was throwing chalk around and gave Chris Bosh a lung infection.
People don't talk about the fact that LeBron showed his dick to the whole world. Like, that happened.
That happened. What about the time he said he would compete in the slam dunk contest? For sure.
And then he just never did it. Let's do our Monday reading.
And then we've got our Game of Thrones recap. So Monday reading.
It's a quick one. Love letters.
My wife lied about her evening with a famous athlete. So it's one of those like Q&A, Dear Abby kind of things.
So he wrote in, I've been married to my wife for a few years, together for about 10.

We have children, and I have considered everything generally happy.

However, I discovered through some old Facebook messages an incident that occurred when we were engaged.

Uh-oh.

The minute you start looking through the old Facebook messages, you're looking for trouble.

He uncovered some years old Facebook messages. It sounds like this guy had, there was an inkling that made this guy do a little bit of digging.
He definitely went out to dinner with his wife and a couple guys were like, hey, what's up, Samantha? Haven't seen you in a while. He's like, what the fuck's going on here? I'm going to go through her Facebook messages.
My now wife was at a bachelorette party about seven years ago she met some famous

athletes at a casino bar sounds like a fun time yeah sounds like i mean famous athletes they're just looking to hang out with fans yeah they just like to connect yeah this part she told me at the time what she did not tell me was she was she hung out with one of these athletes all night and went to their hotel room. It doesn't

seem like they had sex

but stuff happened.

What is... She hung out with one of these athletes all night and went to their hotel room.
It doesn't seem like they had sex, but stuff happened. What does stuff happened mean? Oh, let me read that again for everyone.
She went into a hotel room with one of the famous athletes for a whole night. It doesn't seem like they had sex, but stuff happened.
Okay. Okay.
I'm filling in the blank the blanks right now she went to his room famous athlete didn't fuck your wife it doesn't seem like where does he get the information for it doesn't seem like anything happened it was the facebook messages that she wrote to the athlete i don't know potentially yeah being like hey that was an awesome time i can't walk, but it was great for all the stuff that happened. Yeah, I need stitches in my butt.
But it was only because we went up there and we had room service, and it was really spicy shrimp. And so I had to go make an appointment in urgent care the next day.
What's the saddest part about this story? Hold on, let me finish this writing. I want to go through it.
I feel like I've been living a lie. Should I confront her? Also, does this mean she has been unfaithful beyond this encounter? What's the saddest part of this story hold on let me finish his writing then we'll i want to go through it i feel like i've been living a lie should i confront her also does this mean she has been unfaithful beyond this encounter what's the saddest part of this story one the guy goes through his wife's old facebook message pretty sad two he writes into an online calm calmness uh asking for advice on his marriage yeah that's pretty too.
Three, thinking that his wife went and spent an entire night in an athlete's hotel room and no sex happened. It's possible.
It's possible that number three. If it was Tebow.
Tebow wanted to fuck your wife. True.
They were up late reading scripture. True.
This is... Stuff happened.
Really sad. We got really into the book of Genesis.
God, this is one of those things where he's – this guy is going to walk around literally to everyone he sees and being – like tell him – tell them this story. And be like, you don't think they had sex, right? Here's a little lesson to be learned from this, ladies.
If you're going to cheat on your husband with a famous athlete, at least do it from a team that your husband is a big fan of. Yes, because then he'll be like's cool it's like oh that's yeah you know just had to make you know had to support the team i love that guy yeah yeah he's the best but seriously he's definitely going around just being like hey let me let me ask you a quick question so like hypothetically speaking your wife goes to like hang out with a famous athlete all night you think they had sex well through his eyes someone says nah man he's like yeah you're right nah through his eyes he's like well what if i was hanging out in a hotel room bar and uh like uh richard seymour showed up and i'm a big big seymour fan and he asked me to go to his hotel and hang out that'd be awesome i would do that and i wouldn't have wouldn't have sex with him.
So that's probably what she was doing, too. Yes, yes.
A couple people, readers respond. This guy, I don't know what his advice.
He says, I suggest you forgive her in your heart. Never speak of it.
Do your best to never think of it. And do not hold it over her head even silently.
That guy is the most Irish guy I've ever heard. Bottle it.
His name is like Seamus O'Reilly right there. Just fucking stuff it down and never talk about it again.
Never show any emotion about it whatsoever. Do not bring it up to her.
Forgive her in your heart. I don't know how you can move on, though, without saying it to her, right? Yeah, you just got to be like, hey, did he have a good game the next day? Like, just let me know that.
Yeah. Did he hit a home run? Cool.
Can you hit him up and get some tips?

Let me know if he's feeling a little under the weather so I can bet against him.

At least try to make it right on the back end.

Right.

Right.

Exactly.

Get a little something out of this.

Made you right on the back end.

Yeah.

Get a little something out of this.

Let's do our Game of Thrones.

Hank, play the music.

Spoilers will be coming. I feel like spoilers, I guess, are talking about it.
If you haven't seen it. All right, let's go in order here.
So we'll go in chronological order. By the way, PFT, what I was going to say at the beginning of the show, PFT went and had to take a shit and he took a shit in the only part of the show that was like super dramatic.
I came back and Big Cat was like, yo, they killed a dragon while you were going. And I was like, shut up.
You're lying. I thought he was just messing with you because that's classic guy humor.
Yeah. It's like, oh, you were shitting? The biggest thing happened.
Yeah, the dragon died. All right.
So let's start from the beginning and we'll go chronologically through the episode. Do you want to do you want to say sorry? I'm sorry.
I was wrong for having such like an entertaining takes. Oh, OK.
I'm sorry for thinking out of the box. I think your direct quote was Big Cat.
Have you ever watched a show before? So he doesn't fucking get if he doesn't die directly to his heart or his head. He's alive.
It turns out that I'm just I'm just way smarter than the writers of the show. And so he should have been alive He should have been alive.
You're dead, bitch Yeah, he's dead. I'm sorry.
I was wrong about that But that's what part of the show is, right? As a long time viewer of the show the most fun part about it is that you get to have all these theories about things that are coming next Okay, fair. So don't't keep Game of Thrones fandom from it.
Okay, so Theon's dead as fuck. Yes.
And Jorah proves terrible life lesson here by the Game of Thrones writers. The only way to get out of the friend zone is to die.
Most action he got. He finally got a kiss, and Daenerys is crying and like, Oh, Ser Jorah.
Yo, you could have fucked him when he was alive, and now he's dead and you're like, oh, it's so bad. Chicks love dead guys.
That's so fucked up. It's like when an artist dies, their shit becomes worth more.
Yeah, Michael Jackson goes number one. Once a guy stops being actually fuckable to a girl, she's like, oh, I should have fucked him.
Yes. Oh, man.
Bet you the sex would have been so good. Damn.
So the show starts and they burn all the dead people, make sure they're really dead, and then they have the biggest party ever, which I can't decide if that's a fun party. You got to be so sore.
You know how NFL players are like, yeah, the Monday after I can barely get out of bed? Imagine fighting an army of dead people for like an hour and then trying to wake up the next morning yeah i don't feel like i'd want any wine it'd be tough well so the the drinking went on that night right i don't think anybody went to bed oh no no there was a day and then the next night because well i think a couple days passed okay my funeral my funeral was during the day oh so a couple days so it was like a super bowl parade yeah. So it gave you some time to...
Everyone still had their fucking, you know, bumps and bruises, but maybe they got a little bit of like the knee, you know, the knee got loosened up a little bit. They got the duck boats out.
They were tossing fireball everywhere. Maybe get a little lactic acid.
Maybe get one of those like foam rollers. Just roll it on out.
Tormund. I didn't see...
That's one thing I didn't see any of in Game of Thrones after this battle. There were no, like, medics or trainers.
No. Like, addressing the wounded.
Uh-uh. Well, you remember, but Robb Stark's wife was a trainer.
Then she got stabbed in the stomach when she was pregnant. Oh, yeah.
It was fucking fucked up. Red wedding.
Red wedding. So the...
Gendry got promoted. Gendry got promoted.
Gendry also, like, dude, chill out. You're the horniest dude in the world.
He was sitting there eating dinner, drinking wine like, yo, have you seen Aria anywhere? I want to try to hit that again. Yeah, that was very Kobe of Aria.
I wrote down Aria Kobe. Yeah, for the cameras.
Just like, oh, game's over. I'm going to get some shots up in the empty gym while the ESPN camera gets me.
And be like, Kobe's working so hard. Aria's just shooting arrows at a fucking stick figure.
Yeah, two things that I noticed. One from Gendry and then one from Sir Lady Brienne.
Sir Brienne, yeah. Sir Lady Brienne.
Yeah, so people just getting sprung left and right. Oh, yeah.
Like Lady Brienne, she fucks once, and then all of a sudden she's addicted to it. Oh, yeah.
Just let that go. Well, Jamie, by the way, classic move by him.

Just showing up to Sir Lady Brienne's room and being like, is it hot in here?

Can you help me take off my... Damn, this fire is so hot.

Whoops, am I naked?

That's as romantic as guys get.

It's like this room is hot, so I'm going to take my shirt off.

Yeah, but yeah, Sir Brienne, she's going to have some big commitment issues going forward.

She's never going to fuck again.

Ever.

This is like the worst possible thing. She fucks one guy and she's in love with him and he's like, actually, I'm going to go die.
Should have gone with Tormund, who had the line of the show, by the way, when he asked who shit in his pants during the fight against the Army of the Dead. He has a ghost now, which is kind of John just kind of got rid of him.
Okay, let's do Jon Snow real quick. Jon Snow, I hate Jon Snow.
I do. I'm done with Jon Snow.
You can't just leave your dog Direwolf But it's a dog It's a dog But the direwolf knows to follow you right But he's just like Yo you take the dog I want to go south Fuck that I was taking a shit when that happened Yeah Jon Snow's also being Like the biggest fucking idiot ever Being like Oh I'm sorry I don't want to be king I don't want to be king. I don't want to be king.
Well, Danny is going to kill everyone. She is the most jealous bee in the world.
Like, her eyes, she wants to murder every single Stark. Whether you're a real Stark, fake Stark, I don't care.
She's going to murder your ass. Don't you think so, Hank? No, I disagree.
I'm still Team Tark. Okay, but so they had the little meeting.
The Starks had the meeting.

Bran continues to be the worst.

Like, dude, just give a straight answer for once.

Everything's got to be a riddle with him.

It's a puzzle.

It's more fun for people around him.

Listen, your choice to tell or not.

Shut up, dude.

If you're Bran, the last thing that you have going for you is your ability to play mind

games with people.

Just fuck with him a little bit.

Bran is your friend who thinks he's so much smarter than he is, and you're just like, dude, come on. Just stop.
Just give us a straight answer. Stop.
Everything's a riddle. Yeah.
Samuel Tarly fucks. Nice for him.
Everyone fucks. Yeah.
But it's good for him to see that he can, you know. Actually, Barstool Carl had a perfect tweet.
He said every frat had a Samuel Tarly. It's true.
Just the one pudgy guy. He's just like, hey, good for you, man.
He did it did it everyone roots for that guy it's very true um I made a note everyone's just like always wheeling carts and shit around uh Winterfell yep what's up with that like there's part of the it's firewood for the fires that have to be always they're just like always there's carts it reminded me so much of like a slapstick police comedy where people are just walking around carrying like plate glass windows and fruit carts everywhere. And you just know they're going to get spilled over in some hilarious chase.
Yes. Pretty much.
Okay. The other thing I had was people have very nice highlights in their hair.
Oh, yeah. Are they using like lemon juice? Do you know what? Sun in? The breath must be so bad.
Very bad. When like Ari and Gendry kissed, it's like, dude, Gendry was just eating probably pig's liver and drinking shitty-ass wine.
And now he wants to have sex? Of course Arya is. Hell no.
Arya and the Hound, greatest tag team since X-Pac and Kane. Greatest tag team of all time.
I don't get how – how are you going to – like, there was some problems with the writing with this episode. How are you going to have a battle meeting, a war meeting? Arya just killed the fucking Night King.
How about you just say... And they're arguing about whether or not they should rest the soldiers and wait to go to King's Landing.
Why don't you just say, Arya, go fucking take care of Cersei. If she can't do it, then we'll go.
Because Daenerys is the worst leader of all time. Which brings me to my next point.
But Arya could have brought it up too. Like, hey, I was already going to go kill Cersei.
Don't worry about it. The fact that you like Daenerys and all she does is get her stupid.
All she does is she gets her fucking dragons killed every single turn. She's the worst dragon owner of all time.
Honestly. They would come and take those dragons away.
Be like, you are not fit to own a dragon. Because everywhere you go, the dragon gets killed.
You're just flying around, having fun. Boom, a dragon gets killed.
DPS would intervene? Yes. So what I gathered was she was just, like, taking the dragons for a little joyride.
And they got hit with an arrow? Hank. They were going home.
One, Hank. One.
The dragons. Why are you flying them at fucking 500 feet? Fly them up in the stratosphere, dude.
They can't hit them up there. She's so stupid.
They're home free. She's so...
Exactly. The 99% of car accidents happen within a mile of your house.
Fact. And dragons get killed at the same clip? The dragons were there.
They were a mile away from Dragonstone. Oh, that's where dragons are from, and she was like oh we're home we're cool what happens when then you run her you run a stop sign you get blindsided you're dead what happens when dragons get back to dragonstone are there other dragons there that they know the boys are back in town situation pft she's only got three dragons she's killed two of them she's i get that there needs to be like a sarah mclaughlin type commercial just of of all these murdered dragons that are everywhere and here's the here's my biggest problem she just like the dragons are awesome they spit fire they can fuck everything up she just doesn't use them she doesn't use them she should have used them more in the army of the dead uh in the battle winterfell it was a blizzard when her when her one dragon gets killed go and bust their asses up.
What do you mean? Drakarius them. Go around, dude, and come back.
She tried to. She went flying straight into them.
She never fucking Drakarius them. She's an idiot.
Is there any possibility that we get another dragon egg out of this situation? I hope not, because honestly, that dragon will just die. They're killing the magic.
They really should not let Daenerys own another dragon for dragon for the rest of time but they should give a dragon to somebody else well it's john only targs can have dragons john snow's dragon and john snow was being cool and was like hey my dragon's really tired i'm not gonna fuck with it but he hates honestly no honestly honestly it's absolute karma for john snow he was like you know what fuck you ghost i have a dragon like You're nice. You're good, but take it easy.
But it was like a Rust vs. Rust thing.
Do you really want your dragons to take all that time off? And then they come out for the second battle and they've had too much time to relax? Well, you know what it is? Daenerys is like Tom Thibodeau. And he's like, let's just fucking play the dragons 100 minutes a game and they'll all just die.
I don't want a dragon that doesn't want to go to battle for me immediately after another dragon. Brutal.
So the only other thing I had was... Sansa's the biggest snitch of all time.
That's what you had? That's what you took away from this? Oh, yeah. I have one.
What did Sansa snitch about? Ned Stark kept that secret for, like, that was his whole life. He basically died for that secret.
Listen, man, you can't tell everyone that. Jon went to his sisters, and his sisters were like, oh, we're family.

We've got to sit together.

And Jon was like, promise you won't tell me.

He made him swear.

Both made him both swear.

The second she got a chance, she went running to Daenerys' hand.

No.

Dude, did you not watch the scene?

Tyrion was like, yeah, he's never been a real Stark.

And she's like, oh, he knows.

And then she said it.

Yes, Hank.

Come on.

Follow along. Snitch.
Var various various snitching hater want to talk about unbelievable shit various front runner that dude he's that he's the dickless uh dude who walks around with his hands in his pockets is he talking with a big ass head yeah he's got a big ass head damn oh she's got a big fucking head so he walks around just slowly like shuffles slowly and he's basically been there forever he's got no dick he's You got a bald head. Damn.
OG's got a big fucking head. So he walks around just slowly, like shuffles slowly.
And he's basically been there forever. He's got no dick.
He's got a bald head. He has never broken a sweat in his life.
And then all of a sudden, the boats get blown up and he swims to shore. That guy can't swim.
That's a good point. That guy can't swim.
No chance. I still don't know who you guys are talking about.
The big dude. The dickless dude.
Who's, he's like. There's so many.
Here, hold on. I'll show you.
I'll show you. Watch.
The problem with this show is there's too many dickless guys. He's not the nerd, is he? Okay.
He's the front runner. He says he serves the realm, but it's like whoever he thinks is in first place.
Oh, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, the totally bald guy that had the long conversation about Khaleesi.
Yes. I'm here to serve my team.
Yeah, okay, yeah, I know exactly. I don't like that guy.
I don't like him either. He's going behind everybody's back.
He doesn't have a dick. He's probably just been hanging out with Tebow too much, and Tebow is just circumcising him once a year until he gets down to just a nub.
Slowest walker of all time, and then all of a sudden he swims like four miles to shore. He's out of shape.
Give me a break. I can tell by looking at him.
I made a note here about your girl Cersei. Baddest bitch alive.
I think Cersei's just an internet troll. I think Cersei just loves triggering people.
She doesn't have a master plan about anything. She's just always like, I'm going to do the thing that's going to piss these people off the most because it's funny to me when other people are mad at me.
Well, no. She prays everyone else in the Game of Thrones.
Everyone else in this entire series plays with their heart. Cersei plays with her head.
She doesn't give a shit. She will kill anyone, anywhere, anytime.
She does not care. But why don't you kill everyone else? But they show up and they're like, well, because, dude, you've got to play by the rules.
They show up and I agree. It was very stupid that she didn't just blow up everyone.
but they show up and they're like well because dude you got to play by the rules they show up and uh i i agree it was a it was very stupid that they she didn't just blow up everyone but they show up because they love uh what's her name missandei and they're like they're letting their heart they're basically letting their heart getting getting way of a good war you're making emotional decisions right and cersei's like look at these idiots i'm gonna really make them mad i'm gonna really make them cry boom your head's cut off see that's what she just loves people being mad at her. She's like, look at these idiots.
I'm going to really make them mad. I'm going to really make them cry.
Boom, your head's cut off. See, that's what she...
She just loves people being mad at her. She just fucks me.
She's like, I'm triggering you. Look at you.
She's like, hey, Dany, you're so triggered right now. And Dany's just, like, crying because she's losing a drag and losing her best friend.
Hank. But what I'm saying, Cersei has no master plan after that.
Her end game... Oh, no, her plan is just kill everyone.
Her end game is just make everybody mad at me for triggering them. them no her endgame is to literally murder every single person on earth until she has another incest child and then makes them king but then maybe kills them too Hank you hate Cersei right yeah okay she's a Laura Loomer that's what she is she's a Laura Loomer that's the worst take ever she needs to be deplatformed that's the worst take ever why are you so concerned with my take Cersei why don't you worry about your own takes makes the show great.
Yeah, she makes the show great, but I still hate her. LeBron might make the NBA great, but I still don't like her.
She's the straw that stirs the drink. She makes the show go.
Hank, where do you see this going? Because it's about to go down in the next episode. Well, actually, let's save it for Friday.
We'll do our preview slash predictions. Because episode five is supposed to be the one that everything happens.
I'll say this about Cersei. Make sure you take a shit beforehand.
Yeah, well, that didn't help me this time. Five guys went right through.
Cersei has an all-time smirk on her face. Oh, yeah.
First team all smirk. Bro, she chooses violence.
That's a line from it. Targ Targis and Six Yeah Oh If they had another fucking dragon

She'd get a kill

Well

Series doesn't start

Till a road team wins a game

So

If they take Knight's Landing

Then it's

Then it's really serious

Alright

We'll see everyone

Is that what it's called?

Yeah

King's Landing

King's Landing

We'll see everyone on Wednesday

Love you guys. We'll be coming for your lover, King I'll be coming for your lover, King Needless to say I've always said here Spooky, so let me Tell her, my life is okay Say after me It's the bed to be safe and sorry Say after me It's the bed to be by Five, two, three.
Take on the air Take on the air

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