Richard Jefferson, Kentucky Derby, NBA Playoffs, S8E4 GoT Recap

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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have recurring guest and zero-time all-star Richard Jefferson. Always great to talk to RJ.
Future Hall of Famer. Future Hall of Famer.
And Bronze Medal winner.

Speaker 1 We talked NBA playoffs, how the refs deal with the NBA playoffs, how bad LeBron's breath is.

Speaker 1 And then what else did we talk about? We talked a lot about basketball. Basketball.
We're talking basketball.

Speaker 1 I'm shooting basketball. All right, we also have some more basketball.
Oh, also Space Jam. Jam.
Also, Space Jam, we have Who's Back of the Week.

Speaker 1 We have Monday Reading and the dumbest Game of Thrones recap ever. Spoiler alert.
Oh, no, I actually, I was going to say something. We'll save it for the end.
I was about to say something.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of

Speaker 1 work to be done.

Speaker 1 Looks behind a low-washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't aim all on the sun. Oh, oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. Pardon my take, and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 1 Today is Monday, May 6th. We're in the new studio.
Well, kind of. We're in this studio 1.1.

Speaker 1 Studio 2.0. We move into later on this week, hopefully.
Yes. Who knows when it's going to be ready? But right now, we are squatting in a studio in our new building.

Speaker 1 And just want everyone to know we did not bench press before this show. We will always put in the show notes if we bench press before the show.

Speaker 1 Did not this time, but we are here in the new office and we're ready to talk about everything, including the Kentucky Derby. Yes, I have some major news.
Can you read the tweet? Big news. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm now a horse racing expert. Okay.
I am an expert on all the rules. Was this your first inquiry? Was this your first inquiry that you were a part of? It's called an objection.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, and I love, shout out to the NBC Sports Graphic Team for getting the objection graphic going like immediately with that big red block.

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't even know what an objection is, but I'm here for it.

Speaker 1 Just right off the bat, obviously we're very woke about the whole thing. They goosed another 20 minutes of content out of the Kentucky Derby.
True. Boosted those ratings a little bit.

Speaker 1 Which, by the way, they fucked up because they should have just ran the race earlier because the storm just got way, way worse. And that actually, that's a bigger story behind the story, but go ahead.

Speaker 1 The weather. Yeah, the weather was the big villain on Saturday.

Speaker 1 I just want to say I stand with our president who said that maximum security got disqualified because of political correctness. I think so too.

Speaker 1 When was the last time you saw a police horse win the Kentucky Derby? True. Never.

Speaker 1 So the actual change from maximum security losing, you know, getting kicked out of the race at the end, that was the correct call. 100%.

Speaker 1 Do you agree? I think so. Yeah, I know so.

Speaker 1 I think you're twerk shaming maximum security. He's got a big ass.

Speaker 1 Here's what people don't realize.

Speaker 1 Well, I think most people actually realize this, but maybe the people who only been on horses that one day in Kentucky Derby, we were so fucking close to the biggest disaster that horse racing has ever seen.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm not joking. You don't think that this was a bigger disaster than

Speaker 1 the horses falling? All of them falling over each other? That's what you're saying. That's how close maximum security was to War of Will.

Speaker 1 Like, that was as close to a huge disaster where, like, basically a NASCAR pileup of horses. Yeah, we almost saw the big one.

Speaker 1 It would have ended horse racing. Indeed, the sport is like it actually probably would have ended it because it's already on the ropes.

Speaker 1 You see these new whips where they're hitting them with pool noodles. Yeah, I saw that, yeah.

Speaker 1 If they had that kind of like, you know, disaster on such a big stage, it would have been it for horse racing. So I'm okay with them going by the rules.

Speaker 1 You can't just drift in front of other, you know, horses. You have to give them a path.
And it was awesome because players

Speaker 1 just because I was imagining what it would have been like.

Speaker 1 I didn't win, obviously, because I never win on the Kentucky Derby, but imagining what it would have been like to bet, what even was that fucking horse's name?

Speaker 1 Country Home. Yeah, country, yeah, Country Biscuit, 65 to 1, to have

Speaker 1 to have

Speaker 1 the race end, and you're like, fuck, I probably shouldn't have bet that long shot. And then, boom, you win, and you probably only bet like $5 on it, but still.
Well, that's a rush.

Speaker 1 If you think that this is over,

Speaker 1 you don't know rich people very well, because what's going to happen is this is going to go to court. They're going to appeal to it.
I don't think so. Yeah, they've already said that.

Speaker 1 The one thing thing horse racing was missing was lawyers. But this is all the time in horse racing.
But this is not a Kentucky Derby. But it's still not.

Speaker 1 What they're saying is the owners of the horse are saying that we are going to appeal to the state.

Speaker 1 And then if that doesn't win,

Speaker 1 we're going to take it to court. So we might not know who won the Kentucky Derby for the next year.
Yeah, these happen.

Speaker 1 Someone found that old clip of when we went to the Breeders' Cup, Hank, and

Speaker 1 I lost like 22 races in a row.

Speaker 1 And I was saying, there's a clip of me saying, I just want to be part of an inquiry once where I just have the chance of like, oh, my horse could win if this goes through.

Speaker 1 That's, I mean, but it happens all the time. And I'm not shocked that it was overturned.
And I mean, they can go to the court all they want, but nothing's going to change.

Speaker 1 Is there a snitches get-stitches policy in horse racing? Because you've got the two jockeys

Speaker 1 joined together. Yeah.
And then, yeah, I don't know. Do horses have teams?

Speaker 1 Here's how little I know about horses. I think the staff just owns like all of them, and he'll win.
Yeah, and then he goes and buys a new new brand of

Speaker 1 like fancier transition lenses to wear in the winner's circle the next year. But

Speaker 1 it was one of those situations where all we had to go on was some lady sitting in a situation room

Speaker 1 computers wasn't even working. It looked like the room that Obama and Hillary were watching Osama bin Laden getting shot on.
Yeah. And we were just like all on pins and needles.

Speaker 1 Here's how little I know about horse racing. I kept calling the jockey the driver.
And I think that's actually a much cooler name for it. Like that driver did that on purpose.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, finally I won a Kentucky Derby, but nope, there's no chance that I'll ever win a Kentucky Derby. So

Speaker 1 it was exciting to watch. I think it was, I threw out the, there was a lot of people who got the replay jokes off of.
I threw out the replay ruins everything.

Speaker 1 Then I had the combination of people saying they were mad about the replay, which, again, this happens all the time in horse racing. And then the people who are like, you're an idiot.

Speaker 1 This happens all the time in horse racing. It's like, I was making a joke about people being upset about replay.
Like, Jay Billis was fuming, sitting in his house, like, how could they do this?

Speaker 1 Why do they go to the monitors? Why don't they pay the horses? Yeah, what the fuck is going on? There's enough money being waged on this event. The horses don't get anything.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it could have been a disaster. It could have been like, I'm talking death from horses and jocks.

Speaker 1 I thought when you were saying that it was almost a disaster, I thought you were saying that if they hadn't overturned the results. No, but I agree with you.
Like, that was almost a big pileup.

Speaker 1 It could have been.

Speaker 1 It was just a... We were about half a second away from just like a hot springs of glue forming on the track.
And they would never have been able to run the Kentucky Derby the the same way again.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing. With the Kentucky Derby is different than every other horse race because there's 20 fucking horses.
It's insane.

Speaker 1 That's not how most horse races go.

Speaker 1 So when you have 20 horses and terrible conditions and one of them starts drifting, just be happy that you can keep betting on horses once a year.

Speaker 1 Big thoughts and prayers go out to maximum security, though. His stud fee went down considerably, which I don't really understand because he very clearly won.

Speaker 1 He ran a good enough race to win the Kentucky Derby. So I think they're just saying that he's got the DNA of a cheater now.

Speaker 1 So, his sperm isn't worth as much?

Speaker 1 He can go win the.

Speaker 1 That's the other thing:

Speaker 1 Country Biscuit is not going to win the next two races. Country Biscuit? We're just calling it Country Bridge.
I don't even know what it is. Clint Biscuit, the horse.
Yeah, Country Club. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know. Country Home.
That's the name of it.

Speaker 1 It is kind of cool, though, that a 63-to-1 horse. I want to know how much money was wasted and ripped up tickets

Speaker 1 after the race was over. The other thing is,

Speaker 1 imagine winning the Kentucky Derby as a 65-1 65-1 long shot, and then having the moment just be, like, you know, drawn out for 30 minutes, and then you're like, oh, you won, but you didn't really win because you didn't have that moment where you crossed the finish line first, and most people just changed the channel right away because they were like, fuck horse racing.

Speaker 1 I don't want to watch this anymore. Well, I'm a big believer in the fact that when you lose a bet, you have to stare at the TV for at least five minutes just in disbelief.

Speaker 1 Like, I can't believe I lost out of the time.

Speaker 1 And this is the one scenario that I've ever been a part of that completely justified that dumbfounded stare at the television, like, oh, maybe something will change. Did you do that on purpose? What?

Speaker 1 Justify? Oh, that's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes, I did.

Speaker 1 We should at least mention because there is, because President Trump put out the tweet and spelled Kentucky wrong, then deleted it and

Speaker 1 did a tweet again. We have to throw out the best political horse racing tweet of all time from last year.

Speaker 1 Remember, Sheriff Clark said Donald Trump should invite Justify to the White House lawn for winning the Triple Crown. Justify is a winner like Trump who care less about leftist identity politics.

Speaker 1 Good point. Good point.
That horse does not care. I've never pronounced

Speaker 1 a horse being ridden in an anti-faralle.

Speaker 1 Fucking amen.

Speaker 1 That's when you know we've all lost our mind. When horses race.
When you politicize horse racing. No, just horses.
Just the horse. The actual horse race.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the animals. Country home does literally mean white house.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Country home.

Speaker 1 Country bombs. But I'm saying

Speaker 1 country home means white house.

Speaker 3 Country house.

Speaker 1 Country house. Country house.
Was it actually country house? That's a terrible name for a horse. I'll just say it.
Country house. Yeah, it's not.
Maybe that's what they're doing.

Speaker 3 They're buying a country house. They bought a horse.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 interesting.

Speaker 1 They probably bought both. Yeah, absolutely.
You have to have a country house to keep your country horse at. Yes, absolutely.
All right, so

Speaker 1 let's do some NBA talk. Hank, would you like to start with the Celtics?

Speaker 3 Sure. Where would you like to start?

Speaker 1 Well, we were talking about it before the show.

Speaker 1 The Celtics are in a classic case of they are flipping the switch and sometimes they forget to flip the switch, but then they will flip the switch. So, has the flip been switched or is it off?

Speaker 1 Switched off

Speaker 3 after game one, but it's like they're trying to get the electricity back on. They're working on it.

Speaker 3 But I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's tough.

Speaker 3 Giannis looks like a fifth grader that hit puberty before everyone else on the playground is just dominating everyone.

Speaker 1 There's nothing.

Speaker 3 Like, Celtics aren't playing their best, but it's also like he's so good that I don't really know

Speaker 1 who you can really blame. Like I'm saying, you can't.
The Bucs are going to just walk to the finals this year. I'm very consistent on that.
Travel to the fight. Travel to the fight.

Speaker 1 Gyro step, Jackis. Euro step, but it's kind of a travel, but we really can't call it because we don't know.
Actually, you know what Giannis does? He takes this thing where it's not really a Euro step.

Speaker 1 He lands his plant foot, and then he kicks his foot up in the air twice. So he like skips a step.
He hops from his right foot back to his right foot without ever touching his left foot to the point.

Speaker 1 It's insane how he can basically just be 18 feet from the basket and then boom, he's got a layout. I read a story about Giannis earlier today about how his Greek coach found him and

Speaker 1 how his coach is taking responsibility for all the

Speaker 1 fact that he's a good ball handler, a good passer, that type of thing. And the story just boils down to like, I saw this giant kid playing on the playground and he was just dominating everybody.

Speaker 1 And so I was like, I can make something of this child. The air up there.
Yeah. Yeah.
And the best story with Giannis is that every team went to Scott him except the Knicks.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 You're right. That is.

Speaker 1 Also, thoughts and prayers to James Dolan.

Speaker 1 He's getting sued by a lot of, I don't know if it's his co-owners or the MSU people because they're saying that he's not spending enough time working on the Knicks because he's playing with his band too much.

Speaker 1 And they should just let him do his band stuff all the time.

Speaker 1 Let him keep doing the kazoo. Don't let him meddle with it.

Speaker 1 Like, that should actually, if you're a Knicks fan, the best thing that could happen is James Dolan being like, fuck, man, my band's on the road 300 nights this year.

Speaker 1 If you're a Knicks fan, should just try, you should buy tickets to every single show in every city and just have him go on like a worldwide tour where he sells out every place that he's at.

Speaker 1 Just keep him away from home as much as possible. Make him the next kiss.
Yeah, go on Amazon and just buy a shitload of kazoos and just send him to his office. Oh, he'll come.

Speaker 1 No, if you just have a warehouse full of kazoos, he'll show up. Yeah, he will show up.

Speaker 1 We should talk about the Warriors, Dubs Nation, My Warriors. The Warriors versus the Warriors is an ongoing battle.
Steph Curry

Speaker 1 stinks. Well, the question we have to ask is no longer who's the Batman on the team because we know it's KD.
Yep. The question is, who is the Robin on the Warriors?

Speaker 1 And I think right now it's coming down to Draymond and

Speaker 1 Clay. Iggy's got a little step in him.
Iggy, Iggy.

Speaker 1 Yep. That was a bad visual for him.
That sucks so bad. How much does it suck to be like, you're an NBA player, you've made so much money, you won a finals MVP.

Speaker 3 Slam dunk champion.

Speaker 1 Slam dunk champion.

Speaker 1 And that one gift, that replay, is going to be played 10 billion times. And people will be like, oh, yeah, that guy, oh, when he got viciously blocked at the rim.

Speaker 3 And LeBron.

Speaker 1 And LeBron. But we also had

Speaker 1 vindication for every dad out there who has been preaching that layup counts as two. Yep.
Because Steph tried to dunk at the end of the game, got absolutely stuffed by the rim in a hilarious moment.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what else to say besides the fact that Kevin Durant

Speaker 1 he can't do everything himself for my Warriors. He put the team on his very narrow back.
He's so fucking good. He's very, very good.

Speaker 1 It was an awesome game. Awesome game.
And

Speaker 1 I think the Rockets might win the next game. Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 If I'm Iggy, I'm so excited that Steph missed that dunk at the end of the game. Yes.
Because now that's the big clown moment. And his is kind of like fading a little bit.

Speaker 1 It's not as bad as it could have been.

Speaker 1 When you have your perennial all-star former leader of the team getting rejected by the rim, that takes a little bit of the sting off of it. What was that Steph stat you showed me, Hank?

Speaker 3 Dragonfly Jones, our boy, tweeted out that in 25 out of 99 playoff games, Steph hasn't put up 20.

Speaker 3 So basically one in four games he's

Speaker 1 tough luck. Not even putting up 20.
We nitpick Steph. I still love Steph Curry because watching him play and watching him shoot and get hot is awesome.

Speaker 1 But there is not one single superstar that I've ever seen in any sport that gets less shit for sucking than Steph Curry. He needs to go back to the old shoes, to the old nurse shoes that he had.

Speaker 1 Since his shoes got all like fly on him, now he's like too cool for school. Yeah, could you think of anyone, though? Like, that's the real problem.
Like, it's not even Steph's fault.

Speaker 1 Like, it's nothing he is doing. It's the old joke about, oh, is Steph injured? That's just something that gets thrown out there by the media.
But he gets such a pass every time.

Speaker 1 I guess Peyton Manning a little bit. But he, no, he got when he, before he won a Super Bowl, everyone was on him.

Speaker 1 So I guess because he has three titles, and I think it's also because everyone sees him as like the short, fun guy who can shoot from a million miles away.

Speaker 1 And in warm-ups, he does all those great things. Right, and the kids love him.
Steph is for the kids.

Speaker 1 So, but it's weird because every other superstar, if they have a moment like that, it's like non-stop getting ripped to shreds. And Steph, I mean, I guess he got ripped a little bit, but not really.

Speaker 1 And Kevin Durant is stuck just trying to fucking drag this team to another final, Dubs Nation.

Speaker 1 It's almost like they don't want to, they've played so much in the playoffs in the last couple years, they just want to take a summer off. They're like, hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 Taking a June vacation might be nice for not JD.

Speaker 1 He's going to drag this team.

Speaker 1 The other little thing that I love about the Rockets is whenever James Harden, whenever Chris Paul decides that he's going to be the point guard, James Harden like pouts and stands so far away from the basket.

Speaker 1 That's not James Harden. That's Jimmy Harden.
When he gets into that mode, he stands far away.

Speaker 1 And then once he becomes part of the offense again, he gets locked in. It's so funny.

Speaker 1 He really will be like, I'm not playing unless I get to hold the ball for 20 out of 24 seconds of the shot clock. Yeah.
He was great, though.

Speaker 1 No, he was having KD going back and forth was amazing. Unreal.
So glad it went to overtime because I had the Rockets, so that was nice. Nice little ticket cash.
But yeah, that series is finally.

Speaker 1 All the series in the NBA right now are unbelievable. Well, let me ask you this.
So Boogie might come back. Steve Kerr said that he's not ruling him out for the end of the playoffs.

Speaker 1 So Steph goes to the first one. So that's what I'm saying.
Steph Curry would be an impact six-man.

Speaker 1 Listen, if he's the consummate teammate that he presents himself as,

Speaker 1 be that spark off the bench. You're not wrong.
Like, bring in a shooter, you know?

Speaker 1 The other series that is also, well, they're all really, really good, but the Raptors and the Sixers is essentially Kawhi Leonard being Superman versus Joan Bede having the shits/slash sneezes.

Speaker 1 Well, I think Superman is too animated of a descriptor for Kawhi Leonard.

Speaker 1 I was going to say he's Clark Kent because Clark Kent was a milk-atoast guy. How do you pronounce that word? Milk toast.
Milk toast? He was a a milk-toast guy.

Speaker 1 But you know that if he got into a fight, he could still whoop your ass in boxing, right? So I would say he's more like Clark Kent.

Speaker 1 And besides that, like, I don't, well, if you can shut down Kawhi, you have, you can easily beat the Raptors. But you can't shape the shape of the shape.

Speaker 1 He has, so here's some numbers for you. He has,

Speaker 1 this is

Speaker 1 game one through game four shooting field goal percentage 70 54 59 65 percent he has 39 points 33 35 45. That's insane.

Speaker 1 He's just, and he is, there's something about Kawhi that when you watch him, it's just incredible seeing a guy who like shows no emotion and he goes about everything in such a mechanical way that it's like you can't stop, even though you know what he's about to do, you can't stop him.

Speaker 1 And he's not doing it with any flash or anything. He's just like, okay, here it is.
I'm punching my, you know, he's punching into work like a fucking steel mill guy. Right.

Speaker 1 And work just happens to be draining threes and driving to the hole. Right.
Even his hairstyle is boring.

Speaker 1 It's named after the most boring vegetable in the corn rose. Yes.
He probably asked him for soybean rose, and they're like, sorry, Kawhi, that's not a thing yet. Most boring vegetable? Corn? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a hot take, I know. Oh, I would totally disagree.
Corn is up there for the best vegetables. Corn is very boring.
No, it's not. You can do so much with corn.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you put stuff on it, popcorn. I love popcorn.
Yeah, but it's also got color side. Yeah, and it passes right through you.
You can see it's your only vegetable there.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Yeah, it just double your value.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 No, beats. So you bring up a good point about corn passing through you.
That is Kawhi Leonard. He's going to be the same person.

Speaker 1 He's going to have the same temperament no matter if he's stuck in a pile of shit or if he's on a dinner plate.

Speaker 1 Can I just admit something right now? I really want to debate you on this, but I can't think of any other vegetables. That's probably carrots.
Tomatoes.

Speaker 1 Tomatoes are fruit. Fruit.
Are they? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck. They're fruit.
I knew that. You idiot.
What are the vegetables? I think Hank did too. I think Hank's getting better at trolling us.
Vegetables.

Speaker 1 This is bad that I'm searching.

Speaker 1 I just Googled what is a vegetable. Is romaine

Speaker 1 a vegetable? Lettuce is a vegetable.

Speaker 1 So they are. Oh, okay, I know.
So take haircut. Yeah, I know what vegetables are.
So we got,

Speaker 1 let's see, some carrots. Yeah, carrots are pretty boring.
Again, corn. I'm talking corn on a plate.
Eggplants? Boring as fuck. What do you think about eggplants? Dude, give me a take on eggplants.

Speaker 1 Well, it's an emoji. It's probably the best emoji.

Speaker 1 Yams? Yams are good. Yams are very good.
But aren't those tubers?

Speaker 1 Aren't yams just like sweet potatoes? Yeah. Well, very similar.
Pumpkins? That's a vegetable. That's a squash.
Tubers, yeah, tubers. Potatoes.
You're looking at some Fuguesi lists over there.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at Wikipedia, dude. Lima beans? Lima beans have to be worse than corn.
Give me a break. Give me lima beans.
Worse tasting, but give me lima beans.

Speaker 1 You give me cabbage. Cabbage is the worst vegetable.
I'll give you cabbage. I'll give you cabbage.

Speaker 1 It's pretty bad. Cabbage is the worst vegetable.
I'm happy we had that debate. So ebonywise, Kawhi Leonard is boring, but he's excellent.
Incredible. I have a question about the Raptors.

Speaker 1 This thought occurred to me yesterday. I was thinking about it.
Their jerseys are trash. Yeah, right.
Yes, their jerseys are awful. Hank, they have terrible jerseys.

Speaker 3 Not the North ones they wore today.

Speaker 1 No, yes,

Speaker 3 they're trash.

Speaker 1 No, the North ones are bad. They look like a pack of Winston cigarettes fucked Yugoslavia 1997 teams.
I did.

Speaker 3 I will say I watched like two episodes of Game of Thrones right before I turned on the game, so I was like hyped up, you know, North, Jon Snow, let's go, and then, you know, turned on the game.

Speaker 3 That's what the Raptors did.

Speaker 1 They just tried to cash over there. That's a good jersey.
So

Speaker 1 that might have played into my dad's skin, but Hank. That's good jersey.

Speaker 1 Hank, it looked like an Atlanta Hawks knockoff $15 jersey by a TJ Maxx when your dad's like, you know what, he's not going to care about this team for a while, so I'm going to buy him a fucking shitty jersey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like when

Speaker 1 you're eight years old and you're going to grow out of it unless you're me.

Speaker 1 But my other question was.

Speaker 3 We're going to have to not rush more best jerseys this summer.

Speaker 1 Okay, if you put that on there, I will fight you.

Speaker 1 And by that time, I'll be really jacked because we're going to have a bench press. I think we've already done that like twice, though.
No, but we can. Best jerseys.
We'll do it again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, delete that part so that nobody

Speaker 1 calls us.

Speaker 1 The other question I had about the Raptors, though, if they win the NBA title, do they get the invite to the White House or do they get the invite to whatever the Canadian like? Justin Trudeau,

Speaker 1 he's gone, right? The Maple Tree Ranch, where they just pull syrup out. No, actually,

Speaker 1 I think they just actually just live stream everyone in that stupid plaza that all the Torontians stand and watch them harper.

Speaker 1 They invited to Rob Ford's tomb. When are they going to stop doing that? Like, Toronto.
I like Toronto a lot. I've been there a couple times.
Beautiful city.

Speaker 1 Stop having half your city show up for a live stream and watching all their hearts break. It is so...
Like, we do that here as our job. And I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 When we do the electric chair, it sucks. You guys willingly stand in front of a bunch of cameras so everyone can laugh at you crying in your fucking, you know, syrup and mulsin.
Stop. Stop.

Speaker 1 Just go watch it at a bar like a normal human being. If they get the...

Speaker 1 What's the name of the championship trophy for the NBA? It's the Larry O'Brien. The Larry O'Brien trophy.

Speaker 1 If they get that, do you think the Prime Minister just like scratches out NBA championship and just writes Stanley Cup on it? Well, the good thing is we'll never know because they never will.

Speaker 1 We got another one. They will never,

Speaker 1 ever.

Speaker 1 By the way, Joan Bede, like, what is wrong with him? He's sick. He's sick today.
It's like the tired, wired meme. Tired being out of shape and hurting your knee all the time.

Speaker 1 Wired just having a really bad immune system and being sick all playoffs. He goes from the unquestioned future of the NBA to a scrub on like a nightly basis.

Speaker 1 Mark Jackson said he could be the best big man of all time. And then the next game, he's got the sniffles and has low energy.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Sounds like me. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 So the last series that we have to talk about is our Nuggets, who we shout out Nuggets fans. We rep Rado hard.
We unfortunately are in the new office and we don't have TV yet.

Speaker 1 Shout out all business Pete for being a bitch.

Speaker 1 So we'll recap from Magic Johnson's tweets. So here we go.
Jamal Murray scored six straight free throws in the closing seconds and had a game high 34 points to lead the Nuggets over the Trailblazers.

Speaker 1 So there you go. Okay.
The Nuggets won. You left out the most important part, the exclamation point at the end.
You showed a little emotion. There's another one, too.

Speaker 1 Nicola Jokic has really caught my eye with his two triple doubles in this series against Portland. Wow.

Speaker 1 So Magic, who as of three weeks ago, was part of an NBA organization, the president of basketball operations, has finally caught on to the guy who will most likely finish second or third in MVP voting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a big red pull. Holy shit.
He's like, who's this Jokic guy? This Jokic guy seems pretty fucking good. What's up with them? You know what?

Speaker 1 If I was in charge of a team in the West, I would try to get my hands on this guy. We should trade for him.
He must be like an undrafted rookie, huh?

Speaker 1 I don't know who will win the series with Toronto's victory over Philadelphia to even it up, but I do know that Kawhi Leonard has been dominating the series and put on a show today

Speaker 1 scoring 39 points. Exclamation points.
Actually, you know what? Magic Johnson ends most of every

Speaker 1 exclamation points, including his bio, which is the official Twitter account of Irvin Magic Johnson exclamation point.

Speaker 1 So if you ever find yourself without TV and you want to know what happened in the NBA playoffs, go on to old Magic's Twitter and you can figure it out pretty quickly. Yeah, it's nice recap.

Speaker 1 Him play-by-play in the NBA is like Norm McDonald's play-by-play of golf tournaments. Yes.
By the way, that four overtime game on Friday night. So late.
CJ McCollum has hey. He had, what did he drop?

Speaker 1 Like, would he drop fifth? No, he was close to fifth. He was like 40-something.
He's been awesome. And

Speaker 1 shout out to Jokic, who we just found out about. 65 minutes.
And then afterwards, people are like, how'd you do it? Like, basically saying, you're fat, dude. Yeah, I love how fat he is.

Speaker 1 He's like, I used to be chubby. He looks.

Speaker 1 I think you kind of are. He looks like a blocking tight end.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And this is the big theory is that game three is always the game where the the chippiness comes out and him fighting Cantor was awesome and then Cantor just trying to snitch to you think Cantor as a guy who's like has a hit out for his life Would not be like a snitch, right?

Speaker 1 Because he's he's like always playing with nothing to lose or whatever. I don't know.
It just seems very I don't know like I don't know. Maybe that maybe that doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 I think it feels like he should be the last guy to like go willingly go to the authorities. Like, dude, the authorities in Turkey want you dead.
I know. I would say the other way around.

Speaker 1 If you have a snitch out, or if you have a hit out on you, you're probably only talking with cops. But you don't.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, give me another update. Right, but you don't want to draw more attention to you.
So you think it's going to be. You think Jokic is going to kill him?

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying, like, he went, he trended. You don't want to trend low.
Yeah, you want to lay low. You don't know where you are.
I agree that you want to lay low. Hey, he's in Portland.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh my God. He's got a game tonight, I heard.
Shit. There he is.
I do like Enos, and mostly because he's the only athlete that I can remember whose name rhymed with Penis. Yes.

Speaker 1 And that's just hit his comedy gold. Well, Curtis.
It's a very fertile ground. Curtis Enos.
That's right. Yeah.
So there we go. We got two.
Two of them. Here we go.
We got two big ones.

Speaker 1 All right. Should we get to our

Speaker 1 who's back of the week? Let's do it. Why don't you start Big Cat? Yeah, Big Cat, why don't you go ahead? Okay, actually,

Speaker 1 speaking of Curtis Enos, former Chicago Bear, great. I'll go with the Bears Kickers are back because Matt Nagy had a competition for

Speaker 1 the kicking job, the vacant kicking job. Shout out Cody Parky.

Speaker 3 Was that that thing they had in the town square?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It actually kind of was. They had eight kickers show up to minicamp, and then Matt Niggy brought them all out to the 43-yard line and said, hey, this is where Cody Parky fucked up.

Speaker 1 You all have to kick from here. And six out of eight of them missed.
That's not a great sign. But they're great culture fits, you could say.
So now we're down to two: Elliot Fry and Chris Blewitt.

Speaker 1 Elliot Fry is definitely a made-up name. Chris Blewitt, we know.
Definitely not a made-up name.

Speaker 1 And that one is like,

Speaker 1 if Blewitt becomes the kicker,

Speaker 1 everyone should be fired.

Speaker 1 The problem with getting Blewett is if you're the Bears and you're trying to write all of your kicking woes, you just, it would look a lot worse if you misfired on a guy named Blewett. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Everyone should be fired. I would much rather have a kicker that is slightly worse than Blewitt than have Blewett and have him miss an important field goal.

Speaker 1 Exactly, because when he misses a field goal, it will instantly become the biggest joke on Twitter. And it's like my old saying, like,

Speaker 1 it doesn't matter in the long scheme of things, if you're a sports fan, it doesn't really matter if your team wins or loses. It just matters that you don't get embarrassed.

Speaker 1 Some fucking nihilism, right? Don't get embarrassed because don't be the butt of everyone's joke. Just stay.

Speaker 1 Look, not everyone can win championships. Let the fucking overachievers win the championships.
Let everyone else just stay in the middle, stay calm, don't get made fun of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, win a wildcard game once every three years. Exactly.
Keep the fans happy. Right.
And don't have a guy named Blewett go double doink on you from 43 yards. I agree with that.

Speaker 1 So they have two kickers left now.

Speaker 1 You said six are gone? I think six have been cut. I could see Nagy trying to do this football guy thing where they overcorrect in the opposite direction.

Speaker 1 Now he's going to become like the world's biggest genius with a kicking game. By the way, shout out this ambulance that we're getting on the record.

Speaker 1 Great that we have a studio next to the fucking street. On the window.
Did we think about that before? No, we didn't. That's not.
We just wanted sunlight. It's not a busy area.

Speaker 1 For our plants. This is a joke.
Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know.
It adds a little color to it. It's not a busy area.

Speaker 1 Madison Square Garden. No.
No. The Mecca?

Speaker 1 Right down the street. This ambulance is literally going to just drive into the studio right now.
I think that the ambulance. This is a joke.

Speaker 1 I think the ambulance is pulling up here because they heard Big Cat screaming, fuck, fuck, fuck. Don't get spoiled.
Don't spoil it. During Game of Thrones, I know.
I'm not going to spoil it.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to spoil it, but they heard your reaction. Okay, sorry.
And you're like, either the world's biggest bitch is inside or somebody's getting stabbed to death yes well somebody's getting

Speaker 1 okay okay uh what were you saying i can't remember i don't even remember what i was saying oh i already have a studio next to window i was saying i was saying what is going on i was saying what negie's going to do is he's going to become like the biggest special team statistic guy and and get multiple kickers depending on how long the field goal is right so he's like this is our 40 yard plus specialist and this is our extra point specialist or just this is our on-site kick specialist i'm going to know everything there is to know about the kicking game how about here's here you want to be a genius How about you just have Tariq Cohen kick him?

Speaker 1 Because I guarantee you you can. He's

Speaker 1 get a fucking backflip. If you can do a backflip, you can kick a field goal.

Speaker 1 So have that, save a roster spot, save the embarrassment, be the innovator whiz kid that you are and have Tariq Cohen be your kicker. Or just don't kick.
Or just don't kick.

Speaker 1 Be that high school coach and wherever Joe. He never punts.
Well, he never punts. I think he's still got to kick sometimes.
No,

Speaker 1 I think he goes for it on every fourth down. He goes for it on every fourth down and every two-point conversion.
Trubisky, he does a pooch punt, right? He could kick. Shout out to Michael Vick.

Speaker 1 He could kick, too.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Just do that.
More teams should do that.

Speaker 1 Hank, you want to go? But that was a delayed onset bubble reaction right there. I love those.

Speaker 1 He's just laughing about the fact that we literally just have this new, insane, insanely nice office, and we put our fucking podcast studio next to a window across the street from Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 1 I got a few, I got a few news backs.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 My first one, shout out to Mach the Shock Titus, is Macha Smott.

Speaker 1 Wicked, wicked Smott.

Speaker 3 He has been upgraded to questionable for game four, which they didn't think he was going to come back till the end of the series, but he got approved for

Speaker 3 contact and practice, and he said he accidentally took a charge during

Speaker 1 the how much does that suck for everyone else on the Celtics when Marcus Smart gets approved for contact? You're like, fuck. Yeah.
This is terrible.

Speaker 1 Practice is not fun anymore.

Speaker 3 He's like the ultimate guy that you hate, but you love Money.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 3 Either who's back is SNL and Adam Sandler. Yes.
So SNL basically just, you know, did what Hollywood does, just recreates movies. They had him as the host.
He did Opera Man.

Speaker 3 He did a tribute to Chris Farley. It was very

Speaker 3 heartwarming and touching.

Speaker 1 Operaman? He did Operaman too? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hank doesn't remember Operan.

Speaker 1 I said he did Operaman. Oh, okay.
He did. I literally just.
I did. I didn't hear that part.
Oh.

Speaker 1 The ambulance. The ambulance.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I thought I said Aquaman.

Speaker 3 Oh, no. Smart move by SNL.

Speaker 1 No, that's Vinny Chase. Play the hits.
Yeah, it was smart.

Speaker 3 The Chris Farley thing was touching.

Speaker 1 And like, normally I'd say, oh, that's kind of lame to play all the hits, but he hadn't been back. No.
Yeah, which is good. It was good.
No,

Speaker 1 he never hosted. Never hosted.
I want to say Adam Sandler is my, what, my Grail? He's my Grail King.

Speaker 1 Is that what you said?

Speaker 1 You want to look like him? Yeah, like with the oversized baggie t-shirts, the Moo-Moos that he wears, the denim shirts that go down to his knees. The corner dogs that he made.

Speaker 1 Doesn't give a fuck about anything.

Speaker 1 That's the life right there. That's true.
It's true. And he also, the best part about the Chris Farley tribute is he admitted that he wished Chris Farley was still alive so he could be in Grown Ups 3.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 3 What do you think Kevin James is when he like think they've had that conversation?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. I kind of love Chris Farley because

Speaker 1 he's made me like millions of people.

Speaker 1 How many times do you think Adam Sandler has accidentally called Kevin James Chris? A lot. That sucks.
Yeah. He's just like, ah,

Speaker 1 sorry, man. Yeah.
Yeah. But it's like one of those socks.
We're probably like, they're doing takes.

Speaker 3 Like, could could you do this a little funnier? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, Kevin, could you like throw your body around a little bit more? Take your shirt off. Could you start sweating?

Speaker 1 Let's get the hose out here. What Kevin Don before this take?

Speaker 1 I want you to look like you're stepping out of a sauna in hell. Yeah.
He really, he really probably, Kevin James, more than a few times, has been like in a dark bar by himself being like,

Speaker 1 yeah, this is pretty much all because Chris Farley died. You think Adam just makes him dress up too in some of Chris's old clothes? Yeah.
So they put on this Wisconsin shirt. Yeah,

Speaker 1 put on the lunch lady hair net for me.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it was very cool. And I did like the song, too, the tribute to Chris Farmer.
That was really cool. Grew up watching those guys.
So that was good to see. You done? That was it.
Who's back?

Speaker 1 Okay, my who's back of the week is Rally Animals. So I acknowledge my big mistake in overlooking the Carolina Hurricanes was not acknowledging Hamilton the rally pig.
And Hamilton is a big boy.

Speaker 1 She chonk as hell, just looking good. She or he? It's he, but like, it sounds cooler to say she chunk.

Speaker 1 And so the Hurricanes are playing good hockey. Don Cherry is pissed off, and it's all because they have this awesome fucking rally pig.

Speaker 1 The pig is so cool, and it's so fucking funny when they put the pig in his little, like,

Speaker 1 wagon, his wagon. He's got a wagon.
And they put him right where the guys come out to the ice, and the pig has no clue where he is.

Speaker 1 And they're just like, it's just a pig that's just minding its own business while everyone gets pumped up. I actually had an embrace debate for you, PFT, but I'll do it right now.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Which is better?

Speaker 1 Losing to the team that will probably win the Stanley Cup championship, the cup? We're going that far? Yeah. With the Harris Wick? Well, the Hamilton, the pick.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Or

Speaker 1 losing to a team and then realizing that the next team that you would have played, you would have rolled right over and probably went back to the cup final and won another one.

Speaker 1 Well, I think maybe an option three would be losing because two of your best Russian players don't show up in the playoffs and then they go play for the Russian traditional national team and absolutely dominate the rest of the world the next week.

Speaker 1 That would be, hypothetically, that would be tough. It would be tough for me to deal with mentally.
Ovi gets paid probably like $7 million per goal

Speaker 1 when he plays in the KHL. Yes.
Well, I'm not talking about Ovi. I was talking about Berkovsky and Ovi play too? Kuznetsov.
I think he did.

Speaker 1 Ovi dominated in the playoffs, so I'm not mad at him, but Kuzi did not show up. But what about the time when he had the golf clubs above his head? Like I said, that's because of the rally pig handles.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. But so you would have definitely swept the Islanders and probably gone back.
Well, we get into this a little bit with... Well, no, we got into it with Whitney on Friday.

Speaker 1 I think a lot has to do with the fact that we toughened the Hurricanes up for round two.

Speaker 1 You were like

Speaker 1 warm waters. Right.
And meanwhile. And the Gulf of Mexico.

Speaker 1 The fucking Islanders had to play against the shitty Pittsburgh Penguins, which was a cakewalk. It's like playing against a Mites team.

Speaker 1 And so now they go in and they're like, oh, shit, we have to play an actual good team now. Hey, look, New York Islanders might have been Stanley Cup champions.
Brooklyn Islanders, they stink.

Speaker 1 Not the same magic in the barns.

Speaker 1 My other who's back of the week is Billy McFarland.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Oh, he of Firefest fame.

Speaker 1 He's writing a book in jail. Okay.
And it's called Prometheus, not Prometheus.

Speaker 1 Prometheus. Well, that's kind of his thing, right? Spelling shit wrong.
Yep. Back.

Speaker 1 He's definitely back. Prometheus, God of Fire, F-Y-R-E, which is documenting all the different times he did not commit fraud on a wide scale.

Speaker 1 And also, Major, who's back for him because he has a new buddy in the prison that he's in. So we know that he's in prison with the situation.
Yep. It's been established.
Michael Cohen.

Speaker 1 Trump's lawyer is getting sent to that prison as well. So the three of them, they got a little triumvirant going on there where they're able to have a hookup with...
Is Skrelly there?

Speaker 1 Skrelly should be there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Skrelly's with C-Block

Speaker 1 and J-Bo. D-Bo, yeah.
All the internet memes in one prison. Meme prison would be the worst place ever.
They should actually just.

Speaker 1 Hell is other memes.

Speaker 1 Do meme prison. Put it on VH1.
All the money goes to all the people that were defrauded. I like that.
I mean, give the people what they want. Big brother in prison?

Speaker 1 Yeah, give the people what they want. How come we...

Speaker 1 I'm surprised the United States hasn't reached the point where we live broadcast prisons. Yeah.
Meme prison. Meme prison.
I think we just hit another billion-dollar idea. I'm in.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interview with Richard Jefferson. By the way, Ja Rule definitely has to do the forward for that book.
Yeah. He will.
Well, it's just going to be that toast.

Speaker 1 Here's to Partying Like Rockstars. Fucking like fucking like that was the third.
I forgot what the second one was.

Speaker 1 Party like rock stars. Fucking like porn stars.
Here's the second one. Coming honor.
Oh, wait, no. That's a different one.
And then

Speaker 1 like movie stars.

Speaker 1 living like movie stars, partying like rock stars, fucking like porn stars. Fucking like porn stars.
Damn, that is so cool, man. Fuck.
Someday I hope I'm that cool.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do Richard Jefferson.

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Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now? Ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Manascalco, it ain't right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, okay, here he is. Zero-time NBA All-Star Richard Jefferson.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest

Speaker 1 former NBA

Speaker 1 How many All-Star games you go to? Zero. Okay, former non-NBA All-Star Richard Jefferson.
That sucks, man. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 It's all right. No, you say that on purpose.
Well, when you get in the second interview, it's like, I don't have to do the, like, we don't have to do the background story.

Speaker 1 You're now a recurring guest. Okay.
You're like, welcome here. We don't have to be like, hey, remember that time in Arizona?

Speaker 1 We can just be like, hey, remember that time you didn't make any all-star games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dad, that's so much easier because it's like, honestly, I think more importantly, and I think the thing I'm most proud of is my bronze medal, right? So

Speaker 1 I'd rather discuss that than my never making an all-star game. So what happened in those Olympics? Argentina? Yeah, Argentina happened.
They were tough that year. There was Manu, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there was Manu. It was tough, right?

Speaker 1 You know, it just, I felt like it was just, people wanted us to be ambassadors for the game, and I felt like, what better way to be ambassadors than to let another country win? Get a rivalry going.

Speaker 1 You also helped, I remember that Olympics, and everyone after was like, this is the most embarrassing thing ever. Make sure none of these guys are on this team again.
Let's reconfigure USA basketball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that actually started the process of U.S. Yeah, and I was like, yo, you're welcome.
I told Kyrie that, you know, I was like, Kyrie, you're you're welcome. Yeah.
Right. They started the U.S.

Speaker 1 select team after

Speaker 1 Coach K got involved. They're like, okay, enough of these rift raps, right? And so, you know, I was glad, you know, even if, even if we were on the suicide mission, right?

Speaker 1 Even if you're on the suicide mission to go win the war, I'm okay with that. Yeah, you've won basically all the gold medals since that point.
You kind of have a pardon. Yeah, yeah.
You're welcome.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I should get an honorary gold medal.
Mellow should definitely give you a kick.

Speaker 1 Do they give those honorary gold medals? We can make one. Mellow will find a way to get one in a couple years.

Speaker 7 He'll have enough. He'll have enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can buy one in Goodwill that Mello's just thrown out when he's moving houses.

Speaker 1 You brought up Kyrie. I kind of want to start there.

Speaker 1 So Kyrie, last night, I'm assuming you watched the Celtics Bucks game last night. He had an abysmal night shooting, but he didn't stop shooting.
And that's kind of Kyrie. That's his M.O.

Speaker 1 Like, he's going to keep going because he's got confidence in himself.

Speaker 1 When you were playing with a guy that might be that talented, maybe even it was Kyrie, and they run into a tough night from the floor.

Speaker 1 At what point do you start getting frustrated as a teammate being like, hey, spread the ball around? Or do you have that faith in him as well?

Speaker 1 You have to have that faith in your guy and your hero, right? Like, every team has a guy that's like, all right, it's your turn.

Speaker 1 Go get it. But if you look at the rest of the game, who else did anything? Jason Tatum wasn't doing anything.
Jalen Brown, you know, what was he doing? What was Gordon Hayward doing?

Speaker 1 So it was more of like, when you lose by 20, it wasn't just because Kyrie struggled. I think the rest of that team is talented enough that they would have figured it out.

Speaker 1 If Jason Tatum had, you know, 26 points, I don't think Kyrie was going to just move him over so he could go three for 22. That wasn't going to happen.
Right. Do you still talk to Kyrie at all?

Speaker 1 Nah, we haven't really spoken. Okay.
So maybe this actually helps your answer because you haven't spoken with him.

Speaker 1 What do you take from his year? It's been up and down in terms of being the leader. And that was the whole, you know, I want to leave Cleveland.
I don't want to be in LeBron's shadow.

Speaker 1 Then I think he quickly found out that it's probably harder than anyone realizes to be the alpha on a team, a team that has championship expectations.

Speaker 1 Were you surprised at all that Kyrie had trouble with that? Like, was he, when you were around him, was he tough maybe day to day to read his mood or whatever? No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Let's say this. I think some of the up and downs weren't necessarily all his fault.

Speaker 1 I think bringing back Gordon Hayward and him to a team that had won, you know, that were

Speaker 1 one game away from going to the NBA Finals, I think for the young players to make that adjustment to like downgrade their game, right, so that they could actually get growth from Gordon and to get Kyrie back, I think that was difficult.

Speaker 1 And I think Kyrie did a fairly good job, but it's a new place for him, right? Understand, Kyrie's still, what, 26 years old? Yeah, it's crazy. Right.
It's like, dude, but we've been watching him.

Speaker 1 He hit one of the biggest shots in sports history, in NBA history, you know, two years ago. And you're like, dude, the guy, he's not even in his prime yet.

Speaker 1 A basketball player's prime is like 28 to 32. So, you know, for him, the prime is not just physical.
It's also also emotional. It's also mentally.
Right. So, you know, he will continue to get better.

Speaker 1 And I think, you know, that's when you become a great leader. Right.
When you were playing, as the playoffs go on, it's exhausting.

Speaker 1 It's almost like another, what, quarter of a season sometimes to add on there at the end.

Speaker 1 Was there ever a small part of you that was just like, you know, it wouldn't be the worst thing if we lost because I'm tired. And I like to go home.
No. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 1 No, you know, there are moments where you're like, yeah, this is, do we really want to? No, but you always want to do that because the postseason is the most fun.

Speaker 1 People ask me, do you miss basketball? 17 years, you miss basketball. Hell no, I don't miss basketball.
I do miss the postseason. So ball isn't life for you? What? Ball isn't life.

Speaker 1 It was at one point in time. It's other stuff, I bet, like, you know, waking up early, going to going to practice, doing all the running and shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when you're playing a Tuesday game in Milwaukee and then

Speaker 1 a back-to-back game in Sacramento, and then you're flying to Utah. It's just like, I don't miss that when you're on a plane during New Year's.

Speaker 1 I've been on a plane where the pilot's like, congratulations, happy New Year's, everyone. And you're just like, awesome.
This is a lot of fun, guys.

Speaker 1 What playoffs you miss? Pitt playoffs is the best thing to me. It is the most fun.

Speaker 1 I would watch the most basketball during the postseason as a player. So it just, that's the best part of the game.
That's what everybody wants to play.

Speaker 1 So in the postseason, you're never in a rush for it to be over. So we're going to probably run this on Monday.
So there'll be some basketball that happens in between.

Speaker 1 Game three of the Rockets Warriors. But

Speaker 1 you did say, I saw this maybe it was two days ago or yesterday. You said Kevin Duran is the most unguardable human that's ever been created.
Yes. And you played with LeBron James.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you played against Kobe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You played against MJ for a minute. Well, again, I see where you're going with this.
I'm just wondering. No, I want you to expound on it.

Speaker 1 Like, I kind of agree with you in a weird way because no one's asking.

Speaker 1 And this is what I'm saying. I'm not saying he's better than Jordan.
I'm not saying he's better than Shaq or Kobe or Braun. I'm not saying any of that.

Speaker 1 What I'm saying is that when you look at all these guys, and I think there's been other guys get there, he does things at such an efficient level and at such a high, you know, high rate.

Speaker 1 Like, he, you know, he's won four scoring titles. Like, how many scoring titles would he have if he stayed in

Speaker 1 OKC? Right. He would probably be up there when we're talking about six, seven scoring titles.
Like, you know, James Harden probably would have, you know, beat him one or two of the years.

Speaker 1 We're talking about a guy that would have six or seven scoring titles in his career because he's that good. But he's a seven-foot two-guard.
He shoots 90% from the free throw line.

Speaker 1 He's shooting 50% from three right now and 50% from the field and averaging

Speaker 1 40 points a game over his last five. Only thing I'm saying is like, look, Shaq couldn't shoot free throws, right? MJ wasn't seven feet.
MJ wasn't seven feet. LeBron couldn't shoot.

Speaker 1 Now, don't get me wrong. I'm taking MJ in a game, right?

Speaker 1 I'm just saying if you had to create a basketball player, I think the two guys that you would create are probably Braun and KD for very different reasons. Yeah.
Right? So like that, that's my thing.

Speaker 1 It's a good point. And it's a a good debate to have because I do agree with you.
Like, in terms of when you take it out of not greatest, just like man-to-man.

Speaker 1 And actually, Giannis will probably, if Giannis can get a three-point shot, he'll be up there. Yeah.
And I don't know if Giannis will ever be able to get it because KD shoots a lot of threes. Right.

Speaker 1 There's a difference. Not all three-point shots are created equal.
Like, he could shoot 40% in a season, right? But shoot three a game, right? Four a game. Like, KD might put up 10 threes in a night.

Speaker 1 And look, think about it. We all know how great Steph Steph is.
But how good are you when you show up to a team with a two-time MVP

Speaker 1 and you immediately turn him into Pippin? He's in the prime of his career. Wait, so have you changed? Because you're critical of Kevin Durant

Speaker 1 when he went to the Warriors. You said he kind of stole a ring from you.
And as a podcast, we have literally never, PFT, you can fact-check me. We've never said a bad word about Kevin Durant ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we love him. No,

Speaker 1 I didn't.

Speaker 1 The best way to say my issues were more in a playful manner. right? And some, you know,

Speaker 1 this league, hashtag this league. Yeah, people weren't, you know, he didn't think it was as funny as I did.

Speaker 1 Really, Kevin? Kevin, yeah, it's surprising. He had a good sense of humor.
No, but my whole issue was never with, like, I want. I understood why he went there.

Speaker 1 Same reason why I went to go to Cleveland. And I was like, yo, I want to play for a championship.
I want to play good basketball. I want to be on the highest level.

Speaker 1 And he felt like that was the best thing. I have no issue with that.
But the only issue that was more of like, hey, dude, like, you understand you're going to get some heat. Like, he criticized Braun.

Speaker 1 He criticized Braun when Braun went to Miami. And then even then, when Braun became the villain in Miami in everyone's eyes, he did the same thing after criticizing him.

Speaker 1 And then he became the villain, and then he acted like he was surprised that he was the villain. Right, I agree with that.
Where can he go?

Speaker 1 Again, as a podcast that's literally never said anything bad about Kevin Durant, where can he go to satisfy the haters like you? Oh, wow. See, I think I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 We've said a lot of shit about Kevin Durant before. Yeah, I believe you.

Speaker 1 My thing is, like, he can go anywhere he wants. I'm a firm believer and do whatever makes you happy, your family happy.

Speaker 1 But understand, like, as the great player on the Mount Rushmore of our generation, as he is, that people are going to have opinions. And those opinions are going to be what drives the league.

Speaker 1 That those opinions are going to be what pays the NBA players paychecks. If the NBA stops talking about you or if

Speaker 1 the media stops talking to you, that's bad for your shoe sales. That's bad for your jersey.
sales. That's bad for your overall brand.
Yeah, bad for everybody.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what would totally fix everything with KD if the Sonics went back to Seattle. Yeah.
He joined the Sonics.

Speaker 1 And then took him to a title. Legends.
That'd be awesome. Even if he didn't take him to a title.
That just made them competitive.

Speaker 1 One of my things that I firmly believe is just have an opinion about me.

Speaker 1 Hate me or love me, but just tell me your opinion. Because the minute you stop caring about me and you don't even want to address me, that's when you have an issue.
I love how much I hate KD. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was going to say good guy, bad tattoos. Me? Yeah.
Yeah. 100%.

Speaker 1 I have a hand tattoo.

Speaker 1 Are you happier in media now so people can slowly forget your RJ tattoo? No, no, no, no, no, because I still talk about my RJ tattoo, right?

Speaker 1 I still talk about it. I'm proud of it.
It was one.

Speaker 1 Proud's the wrong word. No, I'm proud of the person I was at the time when I got it.
That's a great answer. You've accepted it.
It's not going anywhere. No, I was.
You might as well embrace it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was 17 years old when I got it and I was on my visit to Arizona.

Speaker 1 Like, to talk about just putting your balls on your table right there, your parents don't know that you're going to a college, and you're just like, my mom saw it like a week later and was like, what is that?

Speaker 1 I was like, it's a tattoo. And she's like, I'm cool now, mom.
Yeah, she was like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 And at that point in time, obviously it was done. And two, I was going to college.
What can she say to me?

Speaker 1 Man,

Speaker 1 I'm going to have you put your GM hat on real quick. Oh, let's see.
By the way, do you have any interest whatsoever in getting into the game, like working for a team at some point?

Speaker 1 I have interest in money. So, you know, that's, you know, whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Okay, okay. Thank you.
Let's put your Magic Johnson hat on. Okay.
Oh, wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How do you fix the Lakers in three moves or less?

Speaker 1 I would

Speaker 1 change everyone that's in my front office

Speaker 1 and then I would go and steal someone from the Spurs. Trajan Langdon is a guy that's up for the Minnesota job.
He was a part of the Cleveland thing. He was a part of bringing the Nets around.

Speaker 1 I think he's up there.

Speaker 1 I look at, I think there needs a lot more checks and balances. I think even Jeannie Buss needs somebody that can tell her no or can go in there and win an argument.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't have to be someone that she's friends with for 20 years or someone that she knows. And that's an issue for people.

Speaker 1 That's very difficult. I think Jeannie Buss is a great owner from the standpoint of she cares about their team.
She cares about her family legacy. So all that stuff's great.

Speaker 1 But she still needs somebody to be like, no, this is wrong. And Magic, anybody that needs to know how the Lakers have been run in the last couple of years, look at how Magic Johnson left.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 That should let you know how it was being run. Right.
And the backstory that he was possibly BCC'd accidentally on some emails trashing him. So it's like the whole thing is just a circus.

Speaker 1 It's just a circus. And so you bring in somebody that's just, hey, no, this is not what we're about.
Right.

Speaker 1 Look, David Griffin, who just got the New Orleans Pelican job, I think he is a person that knows how to run a team. You got to get someone with experience, right? Jeannie Buss, right?

Speaker 1 Even though she's been a part of the team, like she's the figurehead now. Then you had Magic Johnson, no experience in that job.
Rob Polinka, no experience in that job. No assistant, no assistant GM.

Speaker 1 So you just look at it, and there was like, even though there were great names and I think very good basketball minds and people that care, there was no one with any experience in the actual job that they were doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, ultimately, it felt like get LeBron and everything else will figure itself out.

Speaker 1 And I'll give, look, the one thing that I will give Magic Johnson credit for, and people might think this is amazing.

Speaker 1 The only thing that you can do in anything is leave it in a better place than you found it. And I truly believe.
Do you think he did?

Speaker 1 I 100% think that he left the Lakers in a better place than he found it. If you help recruit LeBron.
See, I don't even think he did that. See, I think LeBron already picked it.

Speaker 1 Agreed, but at the end of the day, when he showed up, when he left. Yeah.
It doesn't matter all the stuff in the team.

Speaker 1 I just think it's overstated that Magic recruited LeBron does work. And

Speaker 1 I was number one in saying that exact same point. I don't think that Magic Johnson had any influence on whether or not LeBron was going there.

Speaker 1 That being said, at the end of the day, Magic can always put that on his resume. I was the president that helped bring LeBron James in the future.
Right, he didn't fuck it up. He didn't fuck it up.

Speaker 1 And you know what? That's an important thing. That is true.
A lot of people. James Dolan would fuck it up.

Speaker 1 That's a low bar. That's a low bar to set when we are.
It's a great bar to have. It's a great bar to have, though.
You can't fuck it up. Yeah, look at the Giants.

Speaker 1 Look at the Giants in their sixth pick, right? Absolutely. Yeah, exactly.
You get handed aces,

Speaker 1 you play the aces. You play the aces.

Speaker 1 So, speaking of the Lakers and LeBron, your former teammate, Channing Frye, did an interview where he said said the number one thing about LeBron is his bad breath. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 So Dave is going to be so upset. He was like, so you said, right, we were doing the slice, we did a little pizza, a good pizza thing.
He's like, so you said, you know, I hate LeBron.

Speaker 1 You know, you said that even I was like, oh, that was, that was Channing Fry. That wasn't me.
He was devastated. He was so bummed out.
But they're probably going to cut it out.

Speaker 1 They're probably going to edit it out. Which would be great because we're not going to edit this.
We're not going to edit this result.

Speaker 1 So, but was Channing Fry right? You know what? This is what I'll say. Look, man, everybody's had a bad day.

Speaker 1 Everyone's had a bad day. I can honestly say that's not been

Speaker 1 my experience.

Speaker 1 Channing's a bit of a close talker. Yeah.
Right? So I can see that.

Speaker 1 Don't shame Channing because he was the one who got bad breath. That's what I was saying.
Yeah, that's victim shaming. That's what I'm saying.
It's okay.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with victim shaming and fat shaming in these type of spaces. But I'm just saying Channing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Channing Fry, if that's what his experience was, I'm not going to shortchange his experience. Okay, is LeBron an alcoholic?

Speaker 1 No. No, I don't drink a a lot.
Talk to a second. No, no, no, no.
You know,

Speaker 1 we're all alcoholics, in my opinion. My wife thinks we're all alcoholics.
If you feel like what the doctor says, yeah. Yeah, when they say, like, do you have more than one or two drinks a week?

Speaker 1 It's like, what the fuck? Yeah. Have you ever had more than a week? It's like, do I live? Am I alive? Is that what you're asking me? Because, like, do you take more than one or two breaths a day?

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah. Yeah.
Have you ever had three beers in an evening? Yeah. Wait, well, we got a problem.
Yeah, we got a problem. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So do you think that it's a problem for LeBron?

Speaker 1 Not necessarily the wine but him being out in la having all the different productions that he's got going on right now do you think that there is an element of lost focus nobody wants to be in space jam

Speaker 1 no and this is what and this is why we'll go back to his injury right when he got injured on christmas day oh that's both no don't don't tell they were third best

Speaker 1 it was like they were all one game apart that's fine i'm not talking about that i'm just saying that everything was fine and then their team had a slew of injuries then the free agency thing or not free agency, but the trade deadline.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, there were people associated with that. I'm with you.
But I'm just saying, like, no one was really talking about distractions then. It was post-thin.

Speaker 1 And so that's my thing. It's like when they were good, and before a 17-game injury happened to him, they were good, and no one was talking about distractions.

Speaker 1 No one was talking about distractions and wine the previous 10 years where this guy was. You're right.
You're right. When you win, like every day, all those distractions weren't art distractions.

Speaker 1 They were actually character building for them. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Going off LeBron for a second, you are doing a ton of media now. You're grade eight.
You work for the Nets. You work for, you know, you do FS1 stuff.
Get up.

Speaker 1 At what point in your career are you going to transition into a back in my day guy?

Speaker 1 I'm really going to try and avoid it. I'm going to try and avoid it.
I've been trying my.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be able to. I know, you're not.
You're not going to. I would say I'm very, very fortunate being current right now.
I think you should lean into it. No, I don't.

Speaker 1 It almost sounds asinine because it was like, if I say back in my day, I literally stopped playing.

Speaker 1 It's going to happen. It's going to happen for all of us.

Speaker 1 So are you like, when are you ready for when that period's going to start? Yes. Yes.
You've got to be ready for when your period starts.

Speaker 1 When they bring out the four-point shot, and you're like, back in my day, they didn't have a four-point shot.

Speaker 1 That would be the dumbest idea. That'd be the dumbest idea.

Speaker 1 But no, I think really and truly, it's just whenever you feel like it's time, because not only do you, when you get older, you bring the people that watched you play and watched you get interviewed for 15 years.

Speaker 1 So when you're saying something about like back in my day, you're also talking about all the people for like a 20-year span that remember the game a certain way.

Speaker 1 So yes, you might not be talking to the young kids that are doing it, but you're talking to the familiar people that understand how you're trying to express the game. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 One last question for me. So as we mentioned before, it's going to be Rockets against the Warriors on Saturday night.
We're going to air this on Monday.

Speaker 1 So give me your guarantee who's winning game three.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say Houston is going to win one game, and if Houston wins one game, if the Houston wins one game,

Speaker 1 the only game they will be able to win was game three. If they don't win game three, obviously they're gonna get swept, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 But if they have one chance to win one game, if not get swept, this will be their game. I'm guaranteed game three, Houston Rockets.
You're such a dick.

Speaker 1 All right, last question for me. That series, actually, it was also the Celtics Bucks series.
There's a lot of talk about the refs. Yeah.
So can you remember a time or how did a team deal with

Speaker 1 you get to the arena, you know the ref assignment, you know this guy fucking hates your guts? No, see, look, this is what real basketball people say, and they can't say. Oh, this is good.

Speaker 1 We're going to cut this part, and then we're going to say this. This is what they can't say when they're doing games.
There are certain referees that you want to see going into an arena, right?

Speaker 1 Now, they will never say this, and we would talk about this privately, but like, look, if I'm going into a road game, now the Houston Rockets don't like Scott Foster, but if I was, let's say I'm in my sixth year, we're going into Boston on the road, I want to see Scott Foster.

Speaker 1 I want to see Steve Javi, who does all the TV stuff now. I want to see Joey Crawford.

Speaker 1 Like, those are the guys, those like kind of dickheads, those assholes, those guys, those guys that are kind of just like, leave me alone. I have to do my job.
Those are the guys that I want.

Speaker 1 So I would take Scott Foster. They're going to get pushed around.
They don't get put.

Speaker 1 And if anything, if the home team starts or the home crowd starts acting like jerks, they will actually go the other way. So like the best way, and I don't mean it like they'll start cheating.

Speaker 1 I mean it in a sense that like you want to leave these men alone and allow them to do their job. Right.
Right. I remember AI saw Steve Javi.
I'm doing a game. And so the rookie, I forgot who it was.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was Sam Dallenberg was yelling at Steve Javi.

Speaker 1 And AI looked at him. He's like, boy, do you know who you're talking to? And Steve Javi starts laughing.
He's like, man, he'll throw you out of here and your family. Right.

Speaker 1 And so like, there are referees that you want to see in road games. There's referees that you want to see in a game seven.
Like Monty McCutcheons is one of them.

Speaker 1 You know, there's a bunch of refs that you want to see in those moments. So I know I understand that there's beefs in this sideways and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the day, and a lot of guys won't say that, there's referees that they want to see.

Speaker 1 Do you think the Rockets have gone too far where they're too, like, I always think once you spend this much energy complaining about the refs, you've completely lost what you're going for here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think they did too. I think, and the funny thing, too, is like, I love Draymond.
I love Steve Kerr, Arizona guy. But did you see their interviews post-game?

Speaker 1 They were like, I thought the referees did a great job.

Speaker 1 And Draymond was like, look, I love this game. And it's just sad to me that people want to bring referees in.

Speaker 1 So it was like, wait, wait, does anybody have clips from six months ago where like, oh, we got to fix these referees and the referee.

Speaker 1 And it was like, wait a second, now that kind of things are going your way and things are on your side, had that been Steph and had that been Clay and you would have lost the game, they would have been

Speaker 1 politicking, right? They would have been going nuts. So that's also one of the beautiful things about basketball is you can literally watch in real time someone completely bullshit.

Speaker 1 It's kind of funny. I like that.
Okay. Yeah.
Richard Jefferson, recurring guest. Thank you very much.
We appreciate you coming on every time.

Speaker 1 Also, Jared Dudley's dodging us. Can you hit him up?

Speaker 1 He's dodging us. We called him out.
Really? Why did we do it? He said he would do an interview and then he decided not to. And then he said that he never agreed to it, but we got the receipts.

Speaker 1 And then we told him. You got the receipts? You guys paying people?

Speaker 1 He never paid me to do it. He said he will do it.
And then we also took a hardline stance where we had Jimmy Butler and Ben Simmons' side in that whole beef.

Speaker 1 You guys are just so charming when you guys disagree with someone. You got to pick sides.
We're also very biased.

Speaker 1 If you have,

Speaker 1 we're like, we literally said, yeah, Jimmy Butler and Ben Simmons were in the right because Jared Dudley didn't do an interview with us. It's that simple.

Speaker 1 That's fair. So you want me to hit up Jared and be like, yeah, look, I think you guys.

Speaker 1 I had fun.

Speaker 1 Just left the part of my take, guys. Man, they're fun.
Yeah, but then I would be lying. Then I would be lying.
And that's the issue here. That's right.
That's where my credibility is at stake.

Speaker 1 Now I'm an Argentinist stan. Oh, now I love Argentina basketball.
Don't cry for me Argentina. You look like you're Argentinian.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I still love my country.
Wearing Berengio and beef all bronze. Yeah, there we go.
I bronze.

Speaker 1 Who else was on that team? Was Steph, Steph Marbury? Yeah. LeBron James was on that team.
Carmel Anthony. Oh, LeBron James got a bronze team.
He should put that on his charge. LeBron's got a bronze.

Speaker 1 LeBron's got a bronze.

Speaker 1 He was three and six of the teams. He was 19 at the time.
It doesn't matter. Don't

Speaker 1 try to change.

Speaker 1 All of us.

Speaker 1 I was like 23. Yeah, but we're already going to run with this.
I always remember you all horses out of the bronze team.

Speaker 1 It was all bronze fault. All right.
Thanks, Sergey. Thanks, guys.

Speaker 8 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
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Speaker 7 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 7 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 7 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 7 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a new segment.
New segment alert, Hank. Me, me, me, me, me.
It's the no swag off.

Speaker 1 Aka the Giants quarterback

Speaker 1 competition. Is it competition yet? No, it's definitely a competition.

Speaker 1 It's definitely a competition, though, and the winner of the competition will be who between Daniel Jones and Eli Manning ends up showing the least amount of swag by training camp?

Speaker 1 So what happened to start the no-swag off? So Daniel Jones got drafted. Daniel Jones got drafted.
That's what began it and his coach Cutcliffe said. Daniel Jones was born.
Yeah, he was born.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Without any swag.
He was born or he just emerged from tapioca ooze. That was just the least.
Somewhere in Mississippi. Yeah, just the least amount of swag possible at birth.

Speaker 1 And Cutcliffe said, real swag is no swag. That's their motto for him.

Speaker 1 So they asked Eli what he thought about drafting Daniel Jones, his potential replacement, and he said he really had no response to it.

Speaker 1 So Eli Manning is coming over the top with even less swag than Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 It's basically, it's a bachelor-style competition for Dave Gettelman's heart to see who can be the most milquetoast quarterback.

Speaker 3 There we go.

Speaker 1 Eli Manning reached for comment.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I should have put a southern twang on it. Hold on.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Dad, the reporter's asking me questions again. Hold on, son.
I got this. I got this.
My boy's going to be just fine. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 The swagless giants. God damn it.
Poor Saquon. I can't wait.
We're about to get the Saquon Barkley Deserves Better stories. It's coming.
Oh, it's already.

Speaker 1 We had a little last year, but it's going to go.

Speaker 1 Everyone was like, oh, well, he's just a rookie. Who knows? Now it's going to get...
As soon as it's Daniel Jones, I can't wait till Saquon retires like year eight because he's like, fuck this shit.

Speaker 1 I'm Barry Sandersing this. Dave Gettelman's continued incompetence is actually very, very bad for my Washington R words.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because right now, you ever hear that old saying where if you're running away from a tiger against somebody, you don't have to outrun the tiger. You just have to outrun the guy next to you.

Speaker 1 And in this case, Dan Snyder is like running laps around Dave Gettelman in the last year and a half. Just wait three years.
Yeah. That's all Dave Gettelman said.
Give him three years.

Speaker 1 You'll see how fucking awesome this is.

Speaker 1 He could sit on the bench for three years and then come in in his fourth year when he's absolutely at his most worthless for us, and Eli Manning is still a corpse of himself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to do the Aaron Rodgers. He'll just be Aaron Rodgers by sitting him for three years.
That's how it works. That's all it takes.
That's all it takes.

Speaker 1 You could either do it that way or you could go the Tom Brady model and just draft a quarterback in the sixth round. Who's yeah?

Speaker 1 And then have him be independent, wealthy through his wife so he doesn't need huge contracts.

Speaker 1 And then keep winning Super Bowls. That's the model I would personally follow.
Follow that model.

Speaker 1 Do the Aaron Rodgers Rodgers or the Tom Brady, you'll win some football games. I think we just cracked the case.

Speaker 1 We have a Tim Tebow update. Bad news for your boy, PFT.

Speaker 1 What's bad news? He's batting 143, and not only that. That's perfect.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 AAA, hold on. 143 means I love you.
The worst part of this is not that he's batting 143. It's that he's just making no headlines anymore.
He's become a complete non-factor.

Speaker 1 Skip Bayless can't even do a segment about him. They should bring him up.
The Mets should absolutely bring up. They shouldn't say that he was going to be brought up this year.

Speaker 1 They're idiots if they don't.

Speaker 1 Well, he stinks. So what? Let him stink out loud instead of stinking in a corner somewhere that nobody pays attention to.
I actually think

Speaker 1 Sim Tebow might be like, I don't think so. I don't really want to face Major League Baseball hitting when I can't even hit triple-A.

Speaker 1 Every at-bat would look like Willie Mays' last at-bat where he just swings and falls down. Man, it's tough.
It's tough. Tebow.
He's on base percentages 211.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's my favorite kind of malt liquor.
Yes.

Speaker 1 From a numerological standpoint, it's all adding up to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How many lives has he saved with home runs that hit somebody that was choking on a hot? He doesn't hit any home runs, so that's a problem. He's gone four for his last 33.

Speaker 1 He needs to get a swag, but he needs to save somebody's life. Or circumcise someone in the Philippines.
Yeah. And then he'll be back.
Or just anyone. Just circumcise anybody.

Speaker 1 Circumcise the closest person to you, Tim TV. Find the closest cock you can find.
Circumcise. Find the player on your team that has the most remaining foreskin and give him a

Speaker 1 second circumcision. Yeah, movie idea.
Major League Four. People forget there was a Major League three.

Speaker 1 Major League Four and Timbo. Tim Tebow is Jobu, and he's sitting there before the game being like,

Speaker 1 I gotta get my swag back. I gotta hit this curveball.
And he's just circumcising a little child. Bring your baby.
And everyone's like, yo, dude, what the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1 And then he gets arrested for child pornography. End of the movie.
Would you let your son be circumcised by Tim Tebow?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's make that happen.
Duh. No.

Speaker 1 I would not. I would not.

Speaker 1 Okay. If I had foreskin, I'd let him circumcise me.
Why don't you just have double up? Get it up. Can I get a foreskin graft? No, you can probably back off.

Speaker 1 No, you can get, you can get, you can get doubled up.

Speaker 1 It's like a pencil that you, you know, I don't really have that.

Speaker 1 You don't have that much, that many inches to spare. You keep shaving off a little pencil.
Sharpening it. Yeah.
You get the sharpest dick in this in New York City. I would like that.

Speaker 1 Okay, last up before we get to our Monday reading and Game of Thrones recap, LeBron update. LeBron is not in the playoffs, but he's still making headlines.
The barbershop.

Speaker 1 The shop. The shop.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 The shop that's in a barbershop. You're speaking of Nick Sabins.
Yeah, that's right. So I watched a little bit of it, and it's so awkward that he's just sitting in that huge chair

Speaker 1 and not getting his hair cut. It's his throne.
But he's not getting his hair cut. Because he's LeBron.
He doesn't really have hair to get cut.

Speaker 1 Every time LeBron James gets a haircut, he has to go have another hair implantation surgery. But it would be like saying, let's start a show called The Bar, and we just none of us drink.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or yeah, if it was a recovering alcoholic and you're like, hey, the show is called The Bar. By the way, I can't have that.
But he can get trimmed up on his beard. You can do something.

Speaker 1 He does get trimmed up on his beard when he gets lined up. It's already lined up.
It's like Oscar Pistorius having a sneakerhead show. Is he in jail? Seth Rogan got a full haircut on it.
He did.

Speaker 1 That's actually funny. He doesn't watch sports either.
But anyway,

Speaker 1 the only news we got out of it was that LeBron was shocked by magic leaving the Lakers. Yeah.
And Lonzo didn't give a fuck. It was like, what are we doing tonight?

Speaker 1 Coups, which is awesome because Lonzo is actually being a 22-year-old or 21-year-old. Yeah, that's the perfect Lonzo response.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I like how Lonzo is finally, this is his first taste of freedom that he's getting. Oh, yeah.
Ever since Big Baller Brand has kind of disassociated, he's no longer like.

Speaker 1 Did he officially divorce his dad?

Speaker 3 They talked about that on the show. It wasn't his dad.
It was like

Speaker 3 their business partner, who was his dad's best friend, like had a room in the house and shit. He was the one that like fucked the family over it.
And Lonzo was like, I call my dad.

Speaker 1 I never saw this coming.

Speaker 3 He said it was the first time that his dad ever had nothing to say when he was like, I'm fucking out on Big Baller Brand.

Speaker 1 Big Baller brand getting taken down in huge, massive fraud. Never saw that coming.

Speaker 1 Anytime your parents just have a random dude that's living in their house that controls a significant amount of their financial responsibilities, red flag.

Speaker 3 Well, anytime somebody's like, dude, did you see the Dane Cook story about his brother did the same thing?

Speaker 1 Also, full house, I guarantee you, Uncle Jesse was embezzling the shit out of him. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 Anytime a dude's just living in the house for a little bit, it means that he's rock bottom is rock bottom two guys. Dave Collier also in that exact same house.
He wasn't working as a believer

Speaker 1 just sucking off that teat off that sweet sagget teeth. So LeBron, he's doing TV shows instead of playing in the NBA.
That's it. LeBron, listen.
KD versus MJ is becoming a real debate.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys have seen the timeline. Yeah.
But it's

Speaker 1 people are talking about it. Who's the GOAT? KD or MJ? I don't know.
Also, it's a good debate to have. Kind of weird that LeBron had no idea that Magic Johnson was leaving.

Speaker 1 That shows that Magic probably didn't have a whole lot of respect for LeBron. Just put that out there.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 the LeBron-Magic relationship was one of those things that the media, and I mean, I'm sure I did this as well. People all kind of made it out to be this huge thing.

Speaker 1 Like, Magic went to LeBron and was like, they got together and the joining of powers. They probably fucking didn't even talk.
They were just like, LeBron is like, LeBron is doing his own thing.

Speaker 1 Magic is magic. Like,

Speaker 1 they didn't talk. They're two fucking alphas.
They probably just stayed away from each other. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's, yeah. It's a very, very strange situation for LeBron.
I want to believe that the Lakers are going to be a lot better next year just because I do miss LeBron in these playoffs. Like it or not.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I feel like I can just watch the shop, get my film.
I miss him. I miss having

Speaker 1 his grimaces when he's got dumbass teammates like Jerry. The time he showed everyone his dick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the time that he pulled his pants down, the time he was throwing chalk around and gave Chris Bosch a a lung infection.

Speaker 1 People don't talk about the fact that LeBron showed his dick to the whole world.

Speaker 1 Like, that happened. That happened.
Oh, what about the time he said he would compete in the Slam Dunk contest for sure? And he just never did it.

Speaker 1 Let's do our Monday reading, and then we got our Game of Thrones recap.

Speaker 1 So, Monday reading, it's a quick one. Love letters.
My wife lied about her evening with a famous athlete.

Speaker 1 So, it's one of those like Q ⁇ A, dear Abby kind of things. So,

Speaker 1 he wrote in, I've been married to my wife wife for a few years, together for about 10. We have children and I've considered everything generally happy.

Speaker 1 However, I discovered through some old Facebook messages an incident that occurred when we were engaged. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 The minute you start looking through the old Facebook messages, you're looking for trouble.

Speaker 1 He uncovered some years-old Facebook message. It sounds like this guy had, there was an inkling that made this guy do a little bit of digging.

Speaker 1 He definitely went out to dinner with his wife and like a couple guys were like, hey, what's up, Samantha? Haven't seen you in a while. He's like, what the fuck's going on here?

Speaker 1 I'm going to go through her Facebook messages.

Speaker 1 My now wife was at a bachelorette party about seven years ago. She met some famous athletes at a casino bar.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a fun time. Sounds like, I mean, famous athletes, they're just looking to hang out with fans.
Yeah. They just like to connect.
Yeah. This part she told me at the time.

Speaker 1 What she did not tell me was she was... She hung out with one of these athletes all night and went to their hotel room.
It doesn't seem like they had sex, but stuff happened.

Speaker 1 What does stuff happen mean? Hold on, let me read that again for everyone.

Speaker 1 She went into a hotel room with one of the famous athletes for a whole night. It doesn't seem like they had sex, but stuff happened.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm filling in the blanks right now. She went to his room.
Famous athlete didn't fuck your wife.

Speaker 1 It doesn't seem like.

Speaker 1 Where does he get the information for? It doesn't seem like anything happened. It was the Facebook messages that she wrote.

Speaker 1 To the athlete. I don't know.
Potentially. Yeah, being like, hey, that was an awesome time.
I can't walk anymore. But it was great for all the stuff that happened.
Yeah, I need stitches in my butt.

Speaker 1 But it was only because we went up there and we had room service, and it was really spicy shrimp.

Speaker 1 And so I had to go make an appointment at urgent care the next day. What's the saddest part about this story? Hold on, let me finish his writing.
Then I want to go through it.

Speaker 1 I feel like I've been living a lie. Should I confront her? Also, does this mean she has been unfaithful beyond this encounter? What's the saddest part of this story?

Speaker 1 One, the guy goes through his wife's old Facebook message. Pretty sad.
Two, he writes into an online calmness asking for advice on his marriage. Yeah, that's pretty sad.
Also sad too. Three,

Speaker 1 thinking that his wife went and spent an entire night in an athlete's hotel room and no sex happened. It's possible.
It's possible that number three, if it was Tebow, Tebow weren't a fuck your wife.

Speaker 1 True. They were up late reading scripture.
True. This is stuff happened.
Really stuff happened. We got really into the book of Genesis.

Speaker 1 God, this is one of those things where this guy is going to walk around literally to everyone he sees and being like tell him, tell them this story and be like, you don't think they had sex, right?

Speaker 1 Here's a little lesson to be learned from this, ladies. If you're going to cheat on your husband with a famous athlete, at least do it from a team that your husband is a big fan of.

Speaker 1 Yes, because then it'll be fun. So then it's like fine.

Speaker 1 Then he's cool. It's like, oh, yeah, you know, just had to make, you know, had to support the team.
I love that guy. Yeah.
Yeah. He's the best.

Speaker 1 But seriously, he's definitely going around just being like, hey, let me ask you a quick question. So, like, hypothetically speaking, your wife goes to hang out with a famous athlete all night.

Speaker 1 You think they had sex? Well, through his eyes, someone says, nah, man. And he's like, yeah, you're right.
Nah. Through his eyes, he's like, well, what if I was hanging out in a hotel room bar and

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 Richard Seymour showed up and I'm a big big Seymour fan and he asked me to go into his hotel and hang out that'd be awesome I would do that and I wouldn't have sex with him that's probably what she was doing too yes yes a couple people readers respond this guy I don't know what his advice he says I suggest you forgive her in your heart never speak of it do your best to never think of it

Speaker 1 and do not hold it over her head even silently that guy is the most Irish guy I've ever heard bottle it his name is like

Speaker 1 Seamus O'Reilly right there. Just fucking stuff it down and never talk about it again.
Never show any emotion about it whatsoever. Do not bring it up to her.
Forgive her in your heart.

Speaker 1 I don't know how you can move on, though, without saying it to her, right? Yeah, you just gotta be like,

Speaker 1 hey,

Speaker 1 did he have a good game the next day? Here's all you can. Like, just let me know that.
Yeah, be like,

Speaker 1 did he hit a home run?

Speaker 1 Can you hit him up and get some tips? Like, let me know if he's feeling a little under the weather so I can bet against him. At least try to

Speaker 1 make it right on the back end. Right, right, exactly.
Get a little something out of it. Made you right on the back end.
Yeah, get a little something out of this, huh?

Speaker 1 Let's do our Game of Thrones. Hank, play the music.
Spoilers will be coming.

Speaker 3 Well, I feel like spoilers, I guess, are talking about it first. I don't even know if you've even seen it.
All right, let's go in order here.

Speaker 1 So, we'll go in chronological order. By the way,

Speaker 1 PFT, what I was going to say at the beginning of the show, PFT went and had to take a shit, and he took a shit in the only part of the show that was like super dramatic.

Speaker 1 I came back, and Big Cat was like, Yo, they killed a dragon while you were going. And I was like, shut up.
You're lying. I thought he was just messing with it because that's classic guy humor.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, you were shitting the biggest thing you ever had. Yeah, the dragon died.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's start from the beginning and we'll go chronologically through the episode.

Speaker 1 Do you want to say sorry? I'm sorry I was wrong for having such

Speaker 1 entertaining takes. Oh, okay.
I'm sorry for thinking I'm the bots. I think your direct quote was Big Cat.
Have you ever watched a show before?

Speaker 1 If he doesn't die directly through his heart or his head, he's alive. It turns out that

Speaker 1 I'm just way smarter than the writers of the show. Start of the show.
So

Speaker 1 he should have been alive. You dead, bitch.
Yeah, he's dead. I'm sorry.
I was wrong about that.

Speaker 1 That's what part of the show is, right?

Speaker 1 As a longtime viewer of the show, the most fun part about it is that you get to have all these theories about things that are coming up. Okay, fair.
So don't gatekeep Game of Thrones fandom from it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Theon's dead as fuck. Yes.
And Jorah proves... Terrible life lesson here by the Game of Thrones writers.
The only way to get out of the friend zone is to die.

Speaker 3 Most action he got.

Speaker 1 He finally got a kiss, and Daenerys is crying. I'm like, oh, Sir Jorah.
Yo, you could have fucked him when

Speaker 1 he was alive. And now he's dead, and you're like, oh, chicks love dead guys.
That's so fucked up. It's like

Speaker 1 when an artist dies, their shit becomes worth more. Yeah, Michael Jackson goes to number one.

Speaker 1 Once a guy stops being

Speaker 1 actually fuckable to a girl, she's like, oh, I should have fucked him. Yes.
Oh, man. Betchy, the sex would have been so good.
Damn.

Speaker 1 So the show show starts, and they burn all the dead people, make sure they're really dead, and then they have like the biggest party ever, which

Speaker 1 I can't decide if that's a fun party.

Speaker 1 You got to be so sore. You know how NFL players are like, yeah, the Monday after I can barely get out of bed.

Speaker 1 Imagine fighting an army of dead people for like an hour and then trying to wake up the next morning. Yeah.
I don't feel like I'd want any wine. It'd be tough.

Speaker 1 Well, so the drinking went on that night, right? I don't think anybody went to bed. Oh, no, no, no, no.
There was a a day and then the next night.

Speaker 1 Well, I think a couple days passed. Okay.
My underfuneral. Your funeral was during the day.
Oh, so a couple days. So it was like a Super Bowl parade.
Yeah, yeah. So it gave you some time to.

Speaker 1 Everyone still had their fucking, you know, bumps and bruises, but maybe they got a little bit of like the knee. You know, the knee got loosened up a little bit.
They got the duck boats out.

Speaker 1 They were tossing fireball everywhere. Maybe get a little lactic acid.
Maybe get one of those foam rollers. Just roll it on out.
Torland. I didn't see.

Speaker 1 That's one thing I didn't see any of in Game of Thrones after this battle. There were no no like medics or trainers like addressing the wounded.
Uh-uh. Well, there were, well,

Speaker 1 you remember, but Rob Stark's wife was a trainer. Then she got stabbed in the stomach when she was pregnant.
Oh, yeah. Fucked up.
Red wedding. Red wedding.
So the...

Speaker 3 Gender got promoted.

Speaker 1 Gendry got promoted. Gendry also, like, dude, chill out.
You're the horniest dude in the world.

Speaker 1 He was like, he was sitting there eating dinner, drinking wine, like, yo, have you seen Arya anywhere? I want to try to hit that again.

Speaker 3 Yeah. That was very Kobe of Arya.
I wrote down Aria Kobe.

Speaker 1 just yeah for the cameras just like oh game's over i'm gonna get some shots up in the empty gym while there's a while there's the espn camera gets me and be like kobe's working so hard aria's just shooting arrows at a fucking stick figure yeah two things that i noticed one from gendry and then one from uh sir brie sir lady brianne sir brianne yeah sir lady brianne um yeah so yeah people just getting sprung left and right oh yeah like lady brianne she fucks once and then all of a sudden she's addicted to it oh yeah just let that go well jamie by the way classic move by him just showing up to Sir Lady Brianne's room and being like, is it hot in here?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Can you help me take off my...
Damn, this fire is so hot. Uh-huh.
Whoops. Am I naked? That's as romantic as guys get.
It's like this room is hot, so I'm going to take my shirt off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but yeah, Sir Brianne, she got, like, she's going to have some big commitment issues going on. She's never going to fuck again.
Ever. This is like the worst possible thing.

Speaker 1 She fucks one guy and she's in love with him. And he's like, actually, I'm going to go die.

Speaker 1 Should have gone with Tormund, who had the line of the show, by the way, when he asked who shit in his pants during the fight against the Army of the Dead.

Speaker 3 He has a ghost now, just kind of John just kind of

Speaker 1 got running. Okay, let's do Jon Snow real quick.
Jon Snow, I hate Jon Snow. I do.
I'm done with Jon Snow. You can't just leave your dog.
Dire Wolf. But it's a dog.
It's a dog.

Speaker 1 But the Dire Wolf knows to follow you, right? But he just is like, yo, you take the dog.

Speaker 1 I want to go south.

Speaker 1 Fuck that.

Speaker 1 I was taking a shit when that happened. Yeah, okay.
Jon Snow's also being like the biggest fucking idiot ever. Being like, oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be king. I don't want to be king.

Speaker 1 Well, Danny is going to kill everyone. She is the most jealous bee in the world.
Like, her eyes, she wants to murder every single Stark. Whether you're a real Stark, fake Stark, I don't care.

Speaker 1 She's going to murder your ass.

Speaker 1 Don't you think so, Hank?

Speaker 3 No, I disagree. I'm still Team Tark.

Speaker 1 Okay, but so

Speaker 1 they had the little meeting. The Starks had the meeting.
Brand continues to be the worst. Like, dude, just give a straight answer for once.
Everything's got to be a riddle with it. It's a puzzle.

Speaker 1 It's more fun for people around him.

Speaker 1 Listen, your choice to tell or not.

Speaker 1 Shut up.

Speaker 1 up if you're if you're brand the last thing that you have going for you is your ability to play mind games with people just fuck with them a little bit brand is the brand is your friend who thinks he's so much smarter than he is and you're just like dude come on you just stop just give us a straight answer stop everything's a riddle yeah uh samuel tarley fucks nice for him everyone fucks yeah but it's good for him to see that he can you know actually barstool carl had a had a perfect tweet he said every frat had a samuel tarley it's true just the one pudgy guy who's just like hey good for you man he did it everyone Everyone roots for that guy.

Speaker 1 That's very true.

Speaker 1 I made a note. Everyone's just like always wheeling carts and shit around Winterfell.
Yep. What's up with that?

Speaker 1 Well, it's part of the food. It's firewood for the fires.
It has to be always going to be. They're just like always.
There's carts.

Speaker 1 It reminded me so much of a slapstick police comedy where people are just walking around carrying plate glass windows and fruit carts everywhere. Yes.

Speaker 1 And you just know they're going to get spilled over in some hilarious chase. Yes.
Pretty much. Okay.
The other thing I had was people have very nice highlights in their hair. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Are they putting, are they using like lemon juice? Dude, you know what? Sun in?

Speaker 1 The breath must be so bad. Very bad.

Speaker 1 When like Arya and Jendry kissed, it's like, dude, Jendry was just eating probably pig's liver and drinking shitty ass wine, and now he wants to, you know, have sex.

Speaker 1 Like, of course, Aria is going to be like, hell no. Arya and the hound, greatest tag team since X-Pac and

Speaker 1 Kane. Greatest tag team of all time.
I don't get how...

Speaker 3 How are you going to have, like, there was some problems with the writing with this episode? How are you going to to have a battle meeting, a war meeting? Arya just killed the fucking Night King.

Speaker 3 How about you just say, and they're like arguing about whether or not they should rest the soldiers and wait to go to King's Landing? Why don't you just say, Aria, go fucking take care of Cersei?

Speaker 1 If she can't do it, then we'll go. Because Daenerys did not get brought up.
She's the worst leader of all time, which brings me right next to you. But Aria could have brought it up to Daenerys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was already going to go kill Cersei. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 The fact that you like Daenerys, and all she does

Speaker 1 is get her stupid.

Speaker 1 All she does is she gets her fucking dragons killed every single turn she makes the she's the worst dragon owner of all time honestly like if she she they would come and take that that those dragons away be like you are not fit to own a dragon because everywhere you go the dragon gets killed you're just flying around having fun boom a dragon gets killed tps would would intervene yes so i what i gathered was she was just like taking the dragons for a little joyride and they got hit with an arrow Hank they were going

Speaker 1 one Hank one the dragons why are you flying them at fucking 500 feet? Fly them up in the stratosphere, dude. They can't hit them up there.
She's so stupid. They're home free.
She's so... Exactly.

Speaker 1 The 99% of car accidents happen within a mile of your house. Fact.

Speaker 1 And dragons get killed at the same clip?

Speaker 1 The dragons were there. Literally, they were a mile away from Dragonstone.
Oh, that's where dragons are from, is Dragonstone.

Speaker 1 And she was like, oh, we're home. We're cool.
What happens when

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 run a stop sign? You get blindsided. You're dead.
What happens when dragons get back to Dragonstone? Are there other dragons there that the boys are back in town?

Speaker 1 That situation PFD, she's only got three dragons, she's killed two of them. She's

Speaker 1 an idiot. There needs to be like a Sarah McLaughlin-type commercial just of all these murdered dragons that are everywhere.
And here's my biggest problem: she just like the dragons are awesome.

Speaker 1 They spit fire, they can fuck everything up. She just doesn't use them.
She doesn't use them. She should have used them more in the Army of the Dead in the Battle of Winterfell.
And Wind Blizzard.

Speaker 1 When her one dragon gets killed, go and bust their asses up.

Speaker 1 Dracarius them. Go around, dude, and come back.
She tried to. She didn't.
No, she didn't. She never fucking dracarius them.
She's an idiot.

Speaker 1 Is there any possibility that we get another dragon egg out of this situation? I hope not, because honestly, that dragon will just die.

Speaker 3 They're killing the magic.

Speaker 1 Like, they really should not

Speaker 1 let Daenerys own another dragon for the rest of the time. But they should give a dragon to somebody else.
Well, it's Jonathan Targ's connection. It was Jon Snow's dragon.

Speaker 1 And Jon Snow was being cool and was like, hey, my dragon's really tired. I'm not going to fuck with it.
But he hates me. Honestly,

Speaker 3 it's absolute karma for Jon Snow. He was like, you know what? Fuck you, ghosts.
I have a dragon. Like,

Speaker 3 you're nice.

Speaker 1 You're good, but take it easy. But it was like a Russ versus Russ thing.

Speaker 1 Like, do you really want your dragons to take all that time off and then they come out for the second battle and they've had too much time to relax?

Speaker 1 Well, you know what it is, is Daenerys is like Tom Thibodeau, and he's like, let's just fucking play the dragons 100 minutes a game and they'll all just die.

Speaker 1 I don't want a dragon that doesn't want to go to battle for me immediately after another dragon. Brutal.
So, uh, only other thing I had was.

Speaker 3 Sansa's the biggest snitch of all time.

Speaker 1 That's what you had? That's what you took away from this? Oh, yeah. I have one.
What did Sansa snitch about? Ned Stark kept that secret for like, that was his whole life.

Speaker 3 He basically died for that secret.

Speaker 1 John tell everyone that.

Speaker 3 Went to his sisters, and his sister's like, oh, we're family.

Speaker 1 You know, we got to sit together.

Speaker 3 And John was like, promise you won't tell me. He made him swear.
Both made him both swear. Okay.
The second she got a chance, she went running to Darius's hand.

Speaker 1 No, Tyrion.

Speaker 1 dude did you not watch the scene tyranny was like yeah that's not a he's never been a real stark and she's like oh he knows and then she said it yes hank come on follow along uh snitch very various various snitch and hater want to talk about unbelievable shit various frontrunner that dude he's he he's the dickless uh dude who walks around with his hands in his pockets is he talking with a big ass head yeah he's a big ass head damn oh just got a big fucking head so he walks around just slowly like shuffles slowly and he's basically been there forever.

Speaker 1 He's got no dick, he's got a bald head. He has never broken a sweat in his life, and then all of a sudden, the boats get blown up and he swims to shore.
That guy can't swim.

Speaker 1 That's a good point. That guy can't swim.
No chance. I still don't know who you guys are talking about.
The big dude. The Dickless dude, who's he's like, he just.

Speaker 1 I'll show you. Watch.
The problem with the show is there's too many Dickless guys.

Speaker 1 He's not the nerd, is he?

Speaker 3 Okay. He's the frontrunner.

Speaker 1 He says he serves the realm, but it's like whoever he thinks is in first place, second, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the totally bald guy that had the long conversation about

Speaker 1 Khaleesi. I'm here to serve him.
Yes, I'm here to serve myself. Yeah, okay, yeah, I know exactly.
I don't like that guy. No, any kids.
I don't like him either.

Speaker 1 Dude, he's going behind everybody's back. He doesn't have a dick.

Speaker 1 He's probably just been hanging out with Tebow too much, and Tebow is just circumcising him once a year until he gets down to just a nub.

Speaker 1 Slowest walker of all time, and then all of a sudden he swims like four miles to shore. He's out of shape.
Give me a break by look. Give me a break.
Yeah. I made a note here about your girl, Cersei.

Speaker 1 Baddest bitch alive. I think Cersei's just an internet troll.
I think Cersei just loves triggering people. She doesn't have a master plan about anything.

Speaker 1 She's just always like, I'm going to do the thing that's going to piss these people off the most because it's funny to me when other people are mad at me. Well, no, she praises everyone else

Speaker 1 in the Game of Thrones. Everyone else in this entire series plays with their heart.
Cersei plays with their head. She doesn't give a shit.

Speaker 1 She will kill anyone, anywhere, anytime. She does not care.
But why did they show up? Why did you kill everyone else?

Speaker 1 But they show up and they're like, well, because dude, you got to play by the rules. They show up and I agree.

Speaker 1 It was very stupid that she didn't just blow up everyone. But they show up because they love what's her name? Masande.
Masande. And they're like, they're letting their heart...

Speaker 1 They're basically letting their heart get in the way of a good war. They're making emotional decisions.
Right, and Cersei's like, look at these idiots. I'm going to really make them mad.

Speaker 1 I'm going to really make them cry. Boom, your head's cut off.
See, that's what she just loves people being mad at her. She's like, I'm triggering you.
Look at you.

Speaker 1 She's like, hey, Danny, you're so triggered right now. And Danny's just like crying because she's losing a drag and losing her best friend.
Yeah. Hank.

Speaker 1 But what I'm saying is, Cersei has no master plan after that. Her endgame.
Oh, no. Her plan is just kill everybody.
Her endgame is just make everybody mad at me for triggering them.

Speaker 1 No, her endgame is to literally murder every single person on earth until she has another incest child and then makes them king. But then maybe kills them too.
Hank, you hate Cersei, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. She's the Laura Liverpool.
So that's what she is. She's Laura.
That's the worst take ever. She needs to be deplatformed.

Speaker 1 That's the worst take ever. Why are you so confused? Concerned with my take.
Cersei. Why don't you worry about your own? Cersei makes the show great.

Speaker 1 Cersei makes the show great. Yeah, she makes the show great, but I still hate her.

Speaker 3 LeBron might make that day great, but I still don't like that.

Speaker 1 She stirs the drink.

Speaker 1 So she makes the show go. Hank, where do you see this going? Because it's about to go down in the next episode.
Well, actually, let's save it for Friday.

Speaker 1 We'll do our

Speaker 1 preview/slash predictions because

Speaker 1 episode five is supposed to be the one that everything happens. I'll say this about Cersei.
Make sure you take a shit beforehand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that didn't help me this time. Five guys went right through.

Speaker 1 Cersei has an all-time smirk on her face. Oh, yeah.
First team all-smirk. Bro.
She chooses violence. That's a line from it.

Speaker 3 Targets and six.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh.

Speaker 1 If they had another fucking dragon, she'd get a kill. Well, series doesn't start till a road team wins a game.

Speaker 1 If they take Knight's Landing, then

Speaker 1 it's really serious. All right.
We'll see everyone on. Is that what it's called? Yeah, King's Landing.
King's Landing. We'll see everyone on Wednesday.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 I'm talking away.

Speaker 1 But I don't know what I'm about to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's all my day to find.

Speaker 1 Shy away.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love again.

Speaker 1 Shy away.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love again.

Speaker 1 We the same.

Speaker 1 I've said it, but I've been so lonely.

Speaker 1 Southern my life is okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 I used to play it to be safe and tell me. Say on to me.

Speaker 1 I used to play it to be safe for Tommy.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 I'll be yourself.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Tent presented by Far School of Students.