Ryan Whitney, Randy Moss, Kentucky Derby Picks, GoT Predictions

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have recurring guest Friday, Ryan Whitney, to talk about the NHL playoffs, and the original Randy Moss, aka the Whitek.a. the Oaks Master.
He calls in to tell us his picks for Kentucky Derby on Saturday and the Oaks on Friday. I like that.
The Oaks Master General. The Oaks Master General.
We also have a lot of other stuff. Tons of segments.
A little NPR'd in my take. FAQ's.
Fire Fest of the Week, and some Game of Thrones preview. Packed Friday show for you.
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We'll be right back. All on the sun, oh no We're gonna rock down to electric avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue It's Carb in My Take, presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash App Go download it right now, use code BARSTOOL.
You get $5. You need $5 to the ASPCA, Saving Animal Lives.
Today is Friday, May 3rd, and it is the final show in this god-awful studio in Headquarters 1.0 in New York City. We are moving, folks.
We are moving. You are listening to us.
Right now, we've already moved. If you see this, we're gone.
We didn't get the tax incentives that we wanted from the city, so they're building us a new stadium about two blocks away. Excited to get in there.
This studio does have a lot of memories, though. A lot of shitty memories.
Embrace the big memories. Yeah, we were prepping for the show, and PFT had a great idea.
It was a very good idea. Like, hey, let's do favorite memories from the studio and uh we all just kind of sat there and honestly that time john cena tried to fuck my belly button yeah that was a good one um i almost burned the place down i forget what i was even lighting on fire that t-shirt oh yeah hank's t-shirt i was lighting hank's t-shirt that's right i was mad at hank because hank pissed me off and i lit his shirt on fire and almost burned the place down.
Michael Jordan call? Michael Jordan call. We kind of decorated the place, but not really.
Like, shit just fell down all the time. Yeah.
It looked like someone just took a big bite out of the walls. The Dungeons and Dragons gold episode, that was pretty fun.
So now we're just doing memories that happened the last month. I like it.
Yeah. Because I also can't remember anything past, like, early March.
Barstoolgold.com slash PMT. Yes.
We've got a really good interview coming next week. Yes, we do.
Really good. Let's see.
What else did we do in the studio? Von Miller, when he FaceTimed his dad and said, hey, dad, don't we kiss on the lips? Yep. And his dad was like, you shut the fuck up now, son.
Yep. So that was a great one.
That was a great one. All good memories.
Can't remember any of them. And we're going to a new studio.
We're going to make great memories. There's been a lot of debate about the new studio.
PFC and I want to put in a bench press. We've had a lot of really bad ideas for the new studio that we've just tossed out there.
I said at one point that I wanted a field turf. Astro turf in the studio.
Field turf. And And we were like hold on a second.
That's funny for a week and then it's going to get disgusting. And you spill stuff and it's not coming out.
It would have smelled so bad. We saw better of that.
But I'm very excited for the new studio. My only concern with it is it might be too nice for us.
We might have to junk it up a little bit. That's why we got to get the bench press.
Little prison yards. Hank is still shaking his head at the bench press.
Bench press. Sorry we want to get jacked.
Hey, Hank, we would like to do this show forever, but we can't if we're out of shape. That's true.
That's true. You never hear of an out-of-shape podcaster.
Yeah, you never hear of a... No, I need to live for...
Listen, the Clintons just got in the podcast game, dude. Yeah.
Yeah. yeah yeah now i have your attention i thought you guys were joking it's one of those things where it's like oh you guys go back and forth like oh what if we got a bench press like oh what if we got a dunk tank like oh what if we like the dunk tank is real like wait wait the dunk tank wasn't it was more of a soggy sorrows in the dunk tank it was a hybrid it was even do it was a path oh shut up hank he would i if we had a dunk tank.
I'll pour water on my face right now if you give me permission to get a dunk tank. I've technically given PFT credit for Soggy Sorrows.
I said that on the air. I said, you get credit for this.
That's big of you. Yeah.
So he has done Soggy Sorrows, Hank. Anyway, I just think that we should, you know, get microphones in there, make sure everything can record properly, and then maybe add a few things after once we're inside.
But you guys being like, oh, let's get a're not dunking listen hank let's get i think i think pft at one point said let's build uh an aquarium like around the entire studio so larry can you know i never said that freely never said that see it's good because pft always has these wild ideas i just slide in with like a not as wild idea but it's like in comparison when pft is like hey we should aquarium. Like, what about a bench press? I also wanted I want to get those tubes that they have in banks.
Yeah. So that I can write a message and put it in and send it over to Hank in the middle of a show.
A lot of PFT's ideas are like the sound is going to be bad and we're a podcast. Yeah, whatever.
We're also going to have a mic for Bubba. He's going to be able to talk.
Let's go. That'll be huge.
But yeah, no, the bench press is happening because being able to ask every guest, what do you bench, and then have them be like, I don't know, 200? Prove it. We should also get just a sound isolated room, like a plexiglass room to put Howie Mandela in whenever he comes in for another interview so we can't give him germs.
Oh, we should do that. But remember that game show where the dollar bills just flew everywhere in the tornado room? Yeah, yeah.
What was that game? I forget the game that you're talking about, but I think it's just called the cash tunnel. Yeah, so Cash App should create that.
Yeah. Where they just give cash.
Yeah, we just put cash and we let them go in there. And the joke is we lock it and we don't let them out.
Yeah, or we just put them in there with just a bunch of cocaine on the ground and then we turn it on and then they're forced to inhale the cocaine. And we take a picture and we're like, you have to come on forever.
Now we can blackmail you. You truly are a recurring guest.
Uh-huh. You're a recurring guest and you also pay us.
I like that. A blackmail room.
Yeah. There should be a blackmail room.
Listen, this is what we have. We have a blank canvas.
The new studio is going to be awesome. The bench press is going to be sick.
We have a new video idea that's coming out. I know that everyone asks, or not everyone, but some people ask about exit interviews.
Well, turns out exit interviews are a little tough sometimes to get guests we've never met before to go into a creepy bathroom. But with our new studio, we have something even better that's less creepy.
A shower. A shower.
We're going to watch them shower. And it's going to be great.
Study their shower discipline. But yeah, there's going to be new stuff coming.
It's going to be awesome. We're excited.
So long to the old studio that wasn't that great because we can't think of any memories. Yeah.
I mean, we can think of some. Oh, remember that time we went goofy-footed and we sat on different sides? Yeah, that's weird.
That was fucked up. Never do that again.
Just on our anniversary. Yeah, Hank.
Anything else? When we did the Whatchamacallits before the show. That was fun.
Smelling salts. We need to get more.
Well, we need to get the smelling salts for the bench press. That's true.
And, yeah. I mean, that's where you're being outvoted.
When was the last time you benched? Exactly, Hank. Exactly.
Last week. I don't bench anymore.
You have a gym in your building. There's not a bar.
There's not a bench press bar. When was the last time you benched, Hank? At the Combine a couple years ago? Yeah, and we watched.
Yeah. Not great numbers.
Not pretty. You more than anybody should want to bench press.
Yeah, you're all skin and bones. It's just not in the studio.
We'll have you doing squats on it, too. That way you can get an ass.
Bro.

Hey.

You don't have an ass.

I actually wrote that down for New Year's Resolution 2020.

Get an ass?

Get an ass.

Okay.

Get a little donk.

A little junk in the trunk.

You don't got to worry about that.

Oh, wow.

Spicy Hank. Now I'm fucking getting...

You know what, Hank?

We just upgraded to a Bowflex.

And a Peloton.

It's funny.

We saw the first desks being installed today, and Hank's desk is way bigger than ours. Yeah.
Hank's got a throne. I don't know what happened.
He's got a throne in there. Yeah, I don't know what happened.
It's weird. Oh, the Iron Throne? Weird.
I didn't ask for that. And it massages you? Yeah, shit.
It was sort of the wrong thing. So Sunday night, we will be in our new office.
It's not going to be complete, even close to complete, but we will be there and look for some new stuff coming out of there. We got to talk.
Also, this has never really got talked about, but Bubba just sits on a radiator. Yeah, it's very, very bad for him.
Yeah. We're going to get it all set up.
It's going to be nice. We're going to be a real podcast for once, but we have to add things to make it a terrible thing.
Yes. It can't be too nice.
If it's too nice, if it's like Dan Patrick's place,

which is awesome for him.

Awesome.

Also, shout out Dan Patrick.

Yes.

He said some stuff about his health today.

Good friend of our show.

We're all rooting for him.

But if it's really super nice like that,

that doesn't fit us.

No.

We need a little bit of shit to really fit in.

Even maybe literal shit.

Yeah, literal shit.

Like some animals nest with their own shit.

Well, if we had done the AstroTurf,

we could have had our dogs poop on it. That's true.
I said we should build in dog crates, too. Big miss.
Okay, before we get to Fyre Fest, we need to do a little cleanup on the NBA playoffs. We're going to get to talk about hockey playoffs with Ryan Whitney.
So, first up on the list of things we need to talk about, we killed the Nuggets. Sorry.
Whoops. Yeah.
Weren't great. They made a little comeback in the fourth quarter.
Put a couple of nickels on them. Yeah, but they lost.
Didn't end up so well. They split, and the Trailblazers, I would contend, yeah, I'm going to say it.
They probably have the best home court advantage in the playoff. Maybe the Warriors? Celtics.
Nah. Not really sports I'm talking about like...
Toronto Drake? No. Toronto has the classic, if things start going bad, it gets ugly.
I'm concerned for everybody that was at the Billboard Awards last night, just in Drake's presence. He might have cursed Imagine Dragons, which in turn curses everybody.
We're going to get to the Game of Thrones stuff, but if Arya Stark somehow dies in the next episode, an episode that was taped a year ago, then I'm no longer just joking about the Drake curse. It's gone beyond.
You know what I mean? It's actually something that he should be locked up for. Agreed.
I think, yeah, just in general, just locked up. But yeah, the Nuggets, going back to that, their fans kind of took the mantle from the Utah Jazz fans last night.
There was one dude that was like screaming at Cantor. Did you see that? Telling them like, go back to Turkey.
Oh, wait, you're not allowed to go back. Yeah.
A little execution humor there for you. That's funny.
You're not allowed home because they'd kill you. But it's one of those things where it's like probably one guy that said that.
But now it's the rules.

We've started a narrative now. Yes.
So Denver, your head got a little too big with all the gassing up that we did for you. C-Rad.
C-Rad. Actually, I still, listen, I still like you guys.
Yeah. I hope the series goes back to Denver at least for a couple games.
Well, it definitely will. Yeah.
At least for a couple. Oh, for a couple.
Oh, nice. Okay.
For at least a couple. denver but i i've already stated that i'm rooting for our friend cj mccollum we're easy if if anyone from the nuggets wants to come on the show i will absolutely root for them next year yeah so we're gonna hold them hostage for that we also have d'angelo russell uh brooklyn net legend had year.
Really, really dumb because he got caught with weed in an airport, which I actually didn't think could happen anymore. No.
And it was because he hid it in an Arizona iced tea false bottom thing that you probably bought when you were 17 being like, this is awesome. I can hide my drugs from my parents.
Yeah. So a couple of things about that.
Number one, you're right. It's very hard to get caught with weed when you fly anywhere.
I'm pretty sure it's legal to fly with weed. They just don't care.
Yeah, right. If they catch you going through the carry-on security and they find a little bit of weed, they're going to look the other way because they've got bigger fish to fry.
It's like a chill law that everyone knows. If you don't make a big deal out of it, they won't make a big deal out of it.
Right. So number two, putting it inside the largest container of liquid that you could possibly find is the dumbest possible idea.
Because, okay, the rule is three ounces are below. Yeah.
Anytime you ... The security is so bad in airports when it comes to finding drugs, but they are really, really good at finding a 16-ounce soda.
And every single time I go through there with a soda, I get caught. So I don't even think there's liquid in these false bottom things, but there might have been.
And then on top of that, even if there isn't, it's just a big cylinder of metal that will show up in a metal detector. Yeah.
And they'll be like, what's going on here? That's a can with no liquid in it, but it's sealed. Yeah.
Huh. Interesting.
Yeah. Is that better or worse than when Ontario Smith got caught with a fake penis, the Wizenator that he was using to get around a drug test? The Wizenator's all the time.
Great name. Yeah.
The other thing I want to throw out there, D'Angelo Russell, like this is one of those arrests that clearly doesn't matter because it's a little bit of weed and no one gives a fuck. Right.
But it's more the stupidity is like way worse than the crime. That's how Michael Vick got caught too, right? Like him and his buddies were going through an airport and they had a Sprite bottle that had a false bottom to it.
Yes. So the other part that I can't understand, he was going from New York to Louisville, Kentucky, which you're like, okay, he's going to probably the Kentucky Derby, whatever.
He's from Louisville. Doesn't have a hookup.
He can't fucking find weed? Question is, is he a nerd? Does he not have friends? I don't understand this whatsoever. You're a millionaire athlete.
It's weed. Either have a friend bring it with you on the flight, and he's your fall guy, Chris Carter, or get it when you go home, or just put it in your bag and don't put it in a false bottom metal cylinder that they're looking for.
Right. Honestly, just put it in your pocket.
I'd cut him. Okay.
Bold take. I'd cut him.
Bad decision maker. Yeah.
Well, he already had that controversy where he was snitching on his teammates. This is somehow dumber.
Because that one was like kind of funny. Prank gone too far.
Guy talk gone too far. That was actually the last we heard of Viggy Azalea.

Yeah.

The other thing I wanted to quickly note,

we have two more stories from the NBA.

Thoughts and prayers to Danny Ainge.

He suffered a heart attack in Milwaukee.

Mild heart attack?

Mild.

So he's okay.

Probably cheese curds.

Listen, if there's a place you're going to have a heart attack,

do it in Wisconsin because they know how to deal with it.

Hank was wondering if this makes the Celtics a team of destiny.

I thought that was too soon to ask the question.

No, I don't think so.

I don't think so either, Hank.

Mild heart attack.

I didn't ask that because John Havlicek dying already makes the Celtics a team of destiny.

Okay, good, good.

He probably got a heart transplant from Dan Gilbert and only gave up like a lock of hair and a stool sample for a new heart.

I actually think that Danny Ainge then trumps John Havlicek and it was mild, so that's tough. Yeah, now everyone's going to talk about Danny Ainge.
No, but he's fine. He was in the hospital.
I know. He's fine, but it was a headline, so it's like no team destiny.
So here's the thing. If you're Danny Ainge and you're not allowed to watch the Celtics games, like in Major League when the manager had that heart attack, do you sneak? Do you sneak a TV in? Do you watch him? Obviously.
How much do you blame Jason Tatum not just going to the rim with the ball on Danny Ainge's heart attack? Zero percent. Okay.
What about LeBron? Can we figure out a way to blame this on LeBron? That we can probably do because he's probably trying to get Anthony Davis and there's probably like the only thing holding it up is LeBron, Rich Paul.

There you go.

Okay.

There could be some ties there.

There we go.

All right.

So, no, seriously, thoughts and prayers to Danny Ainge.

Hope he gets better.

The last thing I wanted to bring up before we do Fyre Fest, there's a new debate in town, boys.

People are saying – I'm not saying.

People are saying should the debate be Kevin Durant versus Michael Jordan? People are saying that. As in Skip Bayless is saying that.
I didn't say, don't say names. As in people are saying, and guess what? I kind of agree.
If he wore number 23, the debate would have already happened. That was the only reason we weren't even including KD in the discussion a couple years ago.
So it was harder to get there. So I say yes, it's a legitimate question.
PFT, let me ask you a question on top of that question. If the Warriors win this year, what is Kevin Durant's finals record? I don't know.
3-1. Okay.
And what would LeBron James be? 3-6? 3-6. So he's got the same amount of rings.
It feels like three and one better than three and six. We could go all day, folks.
Yeah. We could cherry pick all day.
If they win this year and he wins one other championship somewhere else, that's a real conversation. If he wins this year with another finals MVP and then wins another one somewhere else with another finals MVP, four finals

MVPs and a four-in-one record in the finals would be pretty damn impressive.

That would be very, very impressive.

And LeBron never goes back to the playoffs.

It would be tough to overlook.

It would be tough to overlook.

We're having the debate right now, folks.

But now what if KD goes to the Lakers and then him and LeBron team up and win two more

rings?

If he gets MVP.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah.
Who's man's? League MVP? Or are we talking finals MVP? Finals. Because I could see LeBron pulling in the league one and then KD coming over the top when it counts.
LeBron's washed. LeBron's best years are behind him.
Okay. All right.
Oh, by the way, stay woke. Did you see that Kevin Durant's rumored to the Nets now? Maybe D'Angelo Russell did that on purpose, so people were like, you're such an idiot.
It really is Kevin Durant's team. Kind of tarnished the star on the team, the current star on the team.
Being like, we need an alpha. Yeah, we need an alpha.
These guys can't even get weed through the airport. Got KD in a New York market would be so awesome.
Yeah, it would. He would probably be our best friend.
No joke. I'm not even saying this because I want him on the show, which I do, but Kevin Durant definitely wants to be our best friend and will probably say no.
Verbal meme. It's the Players' Tribune cover, and Kevin Durant is wearing a part of my Take t-shirt, and this is my next chapter.
Yeah. Ravel and Durant are going to do a business lunch once a week, being like, why won't the part of my Take boys talk to us? Here's what we do.
We just say we're developing a new app. Yeah.
And that we want KD to be an early investor in it. In the PMT app.
Yeah. What does it do? Well, guess what it does, Kevin? It's disrupting the game.
Yes. It's just disruption.
It's a BBB app. Yep.
We're not going to tell you what it means. Yep.
And then it'll be the face of it. I like it.
Okay. Fire Fest of the week hank uh my girlfriend got a new dresser and i had to put it together but they don't give you like screws that you can use a normal screwdriver for you have to use you know those little l things the allen ridge yeah the little yeah would you get ikea uh wayfair but i couldn't so it didn't turn and i just had to literally turn it once take it out put it back in turn it twice so instead of like doing you had it in the wrong no it was it was like there was no there was no room to spin oh okay i got you yeah so i had to spend like an hour instead of just like twist twist twist twist twist it was just like painstakingly going one out one out you were so frustrated it wasn't even frustrated it was just like i it took me like an hour and a half to do something that should have taken me like 20 minutes if your hand strength was a little bit better no it had nothing to do with the physics forbade it did your hands cramp at any point no that's a lie it's a lie because it's an hour and a half you know what you need you need a bench press and a bucket of rice yeah strengthen up those forearms we should actually get a bucket of rice write that down we were talking about that yeah so we can get our hands hit the rice bucket pal uh that and then obviously i feel like everyone's going to be dealing with our pile and moving has been a personal fire for us but not as bad as that i didn't think it was as bad it was a time capsule the lower you went the older shit you found it's great i also i don't want to say that i'm reformed because there's a chance I start another pile at the new office.
But this was a wake-up call that I truly am a hoarder. Like, I really, there was a lot of stuff that was like, I would never in a million years wear this.
Why do I own it? Yeah, I'm very reformed. I can tell you right now.
I'm starting anew once we get to the office. You wanted to bring the tire to the office.
Hank, first of all, it's not a tire.

It's a trophy.

It's a low man award.

We can't just replace the tire with a new one.

What do you think?

They just tire grows on trees?

Where did we get the first one?

From the tire store.

What do you mean?

But we can't replace it.

But that's the trophy.

It would be illegitimate if we just tried to smuggle in a new trophy and act like it

was the same one from year one.

There are multiple Stanley Cups.

Are there?

Yeah.

Well, that's not cool.

I'm pretty sure there's a show one, and then there's one that sits in Toronto or wherever the fuck it is. Definitely not Toronto, right? No, I think wherever the Hockey Hall of Fame is.
Oh, okay. It's kind of ironic, actually.
Yeah, it's very ironic. All right, what do you got, PFD? My Fire Fest of the Week is the Buffalo Bills tailgate lot.
So they are now starting to charge upwards of $600 plus per bus that drives in for the privilege of tailgating there in order to curb some of the behavior that's been spreading like wildfire across various social media platforms and blogs, which will remain unnamed. So they're a little upset about the image they're getting up in Buffalo.
So now they're going to try charging like 600 bucks per bus and setting up like a little tailgate village. But the problem is inside this tailgate village, they're giving you a table to use to tailgate.
So what do you think is going to happen? They're just throwing fuel on the fire. They're like, hey, we don't want people jumping through tables.
Here's a table. Right.
Wait, so there's private lots though, right? So we're okay for a little bit of it. I'm not sure how that works anymore because they're trying to crack down on all the table jumping now.
The best was when we went to Bill's Mafia two years ago and we pulled up in the Barstool RV and the cops came like, you guys can't park here. You're going to incite a riot.
We're like, we're not doing anything. And as they were saying that, a guy had climbed on top of the RV and jumped through a table from the top of our RV.
Yeah, it was pretty great. We're like, fuck.
But here's the thing. If you pay $600 to get into this tailgate lot, it's like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
You're going to want to make sure you get your money's worth. Yeah.
You're going to smash more tables. Yeah, you absolutely.
You'll start more start more fires. Also, they're excluding the poorer people.
I guess that's probably a good thing if you think about the different STDs that you get in a Bills tailgate, whether it's for butthole eating or Kiko Alonzo jersey trading. So now they're making sure that only people that are able to pay for their Valtrex prescription can get in.
Okay, that's fair. Although we don't pour shame in 2019 shame in 2008-19.
I'm saying the bills... Put that rose petal right up in your Twitter avatar, bro.
I'm saying the bills are being very, very careful in terms of... They're protecting their poor customers.
Yes, yes. All right, my personal fire fest of the week.
I got cable shamed. I guess having cable is shameful these days because I tweeted that I had cable.
were really mean to me all these millennials running around that are cord cutting made me feel really bad that i have cable i don't get it why because they said that oh you're well they're like you're it was a mix of you're so you're like sick brag that you're rich because i pay for cable which i don't get and then also a you're such a loser because you still pay for cable. It's basically free on the internet.
Is that true? I don't know. Is TV free on the internet? Bubba, do you have cable? No.
Bubba doesn't have cable. Do you have cable, Hank? Yeah, Hank, you have cable.
Stay strong, Hank. I didn't have cable, though, when I moved here.
I didn't have cable for 18 months. It was terrible.
But explain it to me. Why am I being shamed? Have you have you heard of cord cutting yes but have you heard of buffering and things being 15 seconds behind yes but it's like you know the people your audience that you're speaking to on twitter if they're all cord cutters they're not gonna identify with your cable but how do you watch i would say that most of the listeners are probably cable people okay exactly well it was it was you know what i feel like feel like Twitter, if you're active on Twitter and cord cutting, those two things go hand in hand.

It hurt my feelings.

That's all I'm going to say. I've been watching cable and paying for a cable bill for 15 years now.

Once you do anything for 15 years, you don't just stop doing it.

Right.

You're just going to keep doing it until you die.

Dude, I have so many boxes and I buy like whatever boxing UFC pay-per-view.

I'm such a fucking noob that I buy that stuff still.

Yeah.

And, I have so many boxes, and I buy whatever boxing UFC pay-per-view. I'm such a fucking noob that I buy that stuff still.
Yeah. And, I mean, my cable bill is probably $400 a month.
I don't even... What? What are you supposed to do? You've got to watch.
Yeah, exactly. I'm going to be 90 years old, and the only things on cable are going to be QVC, and then just commercials for porn channels that I don't subscribe to, and I'm still going to be paying $200 a month for it.
I have a buddy who cord-cutted, and I watched a bowl game with him two years ago, USC versus Ohio State, maybe last year, whatever it was. It buffered so many fucking times.
I had money on the game, and I was sitting there like, what is happening right now? I could never cord-cut. How do you change a channel? How do you do anything? I don't get it.

Nobody knows the answers to these questions. All you people that were mean to me saying either that I'm old or that it's a sick flex,

I don't know.

Just please leave me alone.

I want my cable.

I want to be left alone.

You know what?

Some people like commercials.

Yeah.

Okay.

It gives you a chance to get up and go to the bathroom.

And also to look at Twitter.

There you go.

And for material for your podcast.

To look at Twitter and have people yell at you for having cable.

What do you have?

Five commercial podcasts.

Oh, yeah.

It's a development.

Dude, how about that vacuum cleaner I found the other day?

That was crazy.

32 pool balls.

I don't know.

If you're listening right now and you're like, hey, I have a vacuum cleaner, ask yourself this.

If you dropped all 32 of your pool balls in your living room, because you clearly have a pool table and you have way too many racks of balls,

We'll see you next time. now and you're like, hey, I have a vacuum cleaner, ask yourself this.
If you dropped all 32 of your pool balls in your living room, because you clearly have a pool table and you have way too many racks of balls, would your vacuum cleaner be able to pick it up? I guarantee you that vacuum cleaner could clean up our field turf. Yeah.
Oh, that's a good point. Hey, good point.
Field turf is looking mighty good now. Good point.
Okay. Let's get to some interviews.
First up, we're going to do Ryan Whitney and some hockey talk. Before we do that, guys, we need an alert.
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Check them out. And now, our friend, Ryan Whitney.
Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Ryan Whitney. It is NHL playoffs.
We're deep into it. We're taping this on Thursday afternoon, so we don't know what obviously happened Thursday night games.
But we want to kind of refresh everyone on what's going on. I want to start with the Brad Marchand little rabbit punch.
And I want you to first explain what you thought was the just result of that. He didn't get suspended.
And second, explain to us, the people who might not watch hockey all the time, the role of a pest and what possibly could happen as retribution to Brad Marchand. So I was going to puke if he got suspended.
That is not a suspension. Stanley Cup playoffs, little punch in the back of the head while the guy's on his knees.
While being an enormous rat move and a scumbag move, it was not a suspension. Not suspension worthy.
You can't be suspending guys for that. I was shocked he didn't get fined.
I thought a fine would be maximum fine, whatever it is, 5k, give him that. And it kind of shows that, listen, this isn't suspension, but you can't be going around doing that.
By not fining him or anything, I was really surprised because it kind of shows like there's nothing wrong with what he did. Now, what a pest is is exactly what Brad Marchand is.
He's just driving everyone insane. If you're not a fan of the team he plays on, any pest, then you despise him.
You hate playing against him. Fans hate him just as much as the guys playing against him do.
Everyone despises him and wants to see his face get caved in. But he's just a really good player, too.
So that's what makes him the best pest, is that he's one of the best left wings in hockey. Right now he's not, and I think that's one of the reasons he pulled that is because he's not scoring, right? I think he's gone four games without a point.
He hadn't done that all year. So he's getting frustrated.
And he's also probably thinking, all right, well, if I'm not going to score, I'm going to do what else I do best. That's piss people off.
And if I punch this guy in the back of the head, maybe next game, a couple of Columbus players worry about getting me back. Maybe I draw a penalty.
Maybe we get a little momentum in them trying to go after me. So that's the pest's job is to piss everyone off.
He does the best job at it. It was a dirty play, but he's a hell of a player, and he knows exactly what he's doing.
But for the people calling for suspension, you've got to grow a set. Yeah, I agree with that.
Now, in your career, did you ever get pested? Did you ever have someone get under your skin? No, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough.

I mean, not necessarily good enough, but a pest might have done something to me.

But usually a pest is really trying to get under the skin of the best player on the other team.

You're just trying to annoy people that could really make an impact.

I was more being ignored by the pest.

The pests were like, what are you doing with me, buddy?

I'm not trying to mess with you.

Stay away from me.

You're not worth my time.

Now, at what point does a pest cross the line into becoming just like a rat bastard? I would say it's pretty similar. A pest may be a rat bastard.
I think most pests would be described as rat bastards. But not all rat bastards are pests.
No, I think it goes pretty hand in hand. Call me a rat bastard and I'll take pests any day.
Pest is like a really nice way of calling a rat bastard a rat bastard. Sweet.
So let me get this right because I love this little game-within-the-game stuff that happens in sports. The Pest.
Now, if Brad Marchand sees some guys from the Blue Jackets in Vancouver this summer, do people respect him? Are they like, you just got a job to do and we understand it's the job? Or do people take that away from the ice? They're like, fuck this guy, he's the worst. All right, so that brings up the rat bastard versus pest thing, because getting towards rat bastard and worse than that, people might actually hate you off the ice.
There's probably a couple people. I mean, Ryan Callahan and Marshawn licked him in the face.
He probably hates him. But I think for the most part, if you're a pest, people know as long as you haven't done something to injure somebody, things like that will carry over off the ice.
But mostly every hockey guy meets a guy in the summer having beers or whatever. You're like, dude, you're a rat on the ice.
I fucking hate you on the ice. But you're still buddies off of it.
Is there a noticeable difference in your team's swagger, in your team

overall mentality and attitude

if you have a good pest

as opposed to just having a collection of guys

that have pest tendencies but might

not necessarily fill that role?

I think the thing about having

pests and a guy like Marshawn is

every arena the Bruins go into,

people hate them. People hate him.
And if like, if you look at, say, I mean, I know we're recording Thursday, but say in this game for tonight, Marshawn gets a goal, a couple goals. Dude, like, imagine how furious Blue Jackets fans are going to be.
They already hate his guts. And then he could go out and score.
And then it's just, like, hatred on steroids. And people are screaming at him and throwing things at him.
And the whole Bruins's laughing like look at these fucking nuts we've had them we have them on tilt thanks to Marshy yeah it's interesting because in the NBA playoffs I think the the general well no I'm dead serious this is one of those like NBA versus NHL things in the NBA playoffs the refs have a tendency to call it a little bit more strict at times, whereas in the NHL playoffs, it's almost like swallow your whistle, let the boys play. Why do you think the NHL does it that way as opposed to the other way? In terms of just letting guys play more? Yeah.
I don't know. I think it's just like a long-storied history that playoff hockey, more stuff goes.
I don't know. That's a good question i think it goes back to just like hockey guys being tough and being able to kind of come back from injury and play through injury and knowing that the playoffs is going to be a different beast in a battle and so you get away with some extra cross checks and things like that that would probably get called in the regular season but you brought up the nba first pft and i'll tell you right now, I saw that asshole from the Cavs.

I don't know what team he was on.

He broke his nose and came back with a fucking mask on and got a standing ovation.

Are you shitting me?

Ryan Malone on Pittsburgh, I put it with Ryan Malone, got a slap shot directly in the face.

It was like getting hit with a baseball bat, shoved a couple tampons out there and came back no mask, no standing ovation for him.

To break your nose in the NBA playoffs to come back and the standing ovation is pathetic. Hold on.
What's worse, though? Getting a puck at your face, you know, whatever, 90 miles an hour, or getting poked in the eye? Poked in the eye sucks. I'd probably rather get hit in the face with a slap.
James Harden's actually tougher than your friend because he got poked in the eye and he came back in the game. He didn't play well, but he came back in the game.
I don't know. I'm not going to agree with you because James Harden came back and tried to draw a fucking foul every time he threw up the ball.
So my buddy came back and kept going to the net looking for more pucks to hit him in the face. So I don't think he's more tough.
But also if you get hit in the face with a puck, your whole face hurts. If you get poked in the eye at just one spot, that's almost worse, I would say.
Getting poked in the eye blows. Yeah, see, we're getting to the truth.
Hey, wait. Hold on.
Let me ask you a question because we're talking about injuries here. Little birdie told me that you had the flu recently.
Oh, no. Oh, real bad.
In the garden during game two, I was throwing up in the bathroom. People thought I was, like, shit-faced.
I'm like, dude, I'm sick. All right, chick, you guys can't drink.
I'm like, shut up. So did you miss a podcast? I did miss a podcast.
Because you were sick, right? I don't think we've ever missed a podcast. Here's the difference between hockey guys and football guys like us is we've never missed a podcast for being sick.
Yeah, when I threw out my back, I't i literally whitney i could not walk for three straight days i was pissing in gatorade bottles pft and hank and liam showed up to my apartment and we podcasted there i broke my foot i was coming out of out of surgery i had the uh the iv fluid still coursing through my veins yeah all the anesthesia we still did it and whitney had a little he skipped a podcast. Hmm.
You guys are talking about injuries that you can battle through if people come to you. I was in the bathroom, on the toilet, throwing, shitting.
Everything was going on. I wasn't able to podcast.
Trust me. I lost about 10 pounds.
I've been on the IV since. I don't need to hear about you guys grinding it out with a little foot injury.
Try just duking all day day long and giving a podcast effort. I didn't have it.
Did you have it? So your bathroom? You podcast with your butthole. You podcast with your mouth.
So I thought you were rich. Your bathroom doesn't have cell phone reception? No, I actually have a bathroom that has just an enormous toilet that costs about $5,000 that cleans my hoop after I'm done using it.
So it works out fine. It's just a hole in the ground.
That's all it is. Did you get bidet in the face while you were puking?

I wish, actually. At that point, I would have taken some

cold water in the face.

Let's talk about these playoffs.

Let's talk about the series that are going on.

We'll start with the one that I assume you agree

is over. The Islanders.

Frankie Borelli's Islanders, who we hear

way too much Islanders talk in this office.

They're done, right?

They're done. They might win a game.

I really hope they win a game, I'm going to have to make this video. I talked about it on Chicklets.
You can listen to Spittin' Chicklets about the video I'm going to have to make if they get swept. So I hope for their sake they get a win.
I hope, Frankie, you guys get one. But Carolina, what a story.
It's been crazy. It's an awesome story because not a lot of people expected much from them this year and they had a two-goalie tandem.
Peter Mrazik just got hurt, so Curtis McElhinney's now in. All year, both guys did a great job.
It's a really surprising story but they have great fans down there. When the team struggles, nobody goes.
I guess it's the type of hockey city where they've got to be really good to get involved. I don't really blame them, whatever.
It's not the number one sport down there in Tobacco Road. But when they're in the playoffs, that place is wild.
They tailgate before the games. And I think that Rod Brindamore, their coach, won a Stanley Cup there.
He's the captain. So there's a lot of good things going on in Carolina.
And I'm not surprised to see the Islanders lose, but I am surprised to see it be this ugly.

Yeah, it's pretty bad. So Richard Jefferson said a couple days ago when he was talking about the NBA playoffs that sometimes when you play an inferior team in the first round, a lot of times you come out flat in the second because you haven't been battle tested.

So going off that, would you say that the Islanders are playing so poorly because they played such a shitty team in the Pittsburgh Penguins, whereas the Hurricanes played a really great team in the Capitals, and that's why they're doing so well? That could be a PFT. I'll run with that if you want to.
We can go with Richard Jefferson, whoever that is. That's a good narrative.
Okay, yeah. So I want you to power rank the following cities in terms of hockey towns.
Okay?

So Raleigh, Columbus, San Jose, and Dallas.

San Jose is number one.

They've had great fans for a long time now.

I'd actually like to see them.

I wouldn't mind seeing them win the Cup.

They're one team I'm kind of rooting for a little bit.

San Jose is number one there.

Right now I'm going Columbus number two.

It's really getting bigger and bigger there.

The first time they ever won a playoff series was round one against one of the best regular season teams of all time. That place is wilder now.
I'm talking to people. I guess the Blue Jackets are like the Beatles walking around Columbus.
They're number two. San Jose won because of the longevity.
Then I'm going Carolina three because they've been wild too. They're shown a lot.
Dallas four. Dallas and Carolina are kind of the same.
When the team sucks, nobody goes. Nobody cares.
There's other sports bigger there in those cities. But when the teams are good, it's awesome places to play.
And that's kind of how it's going right now. So please tell me that the Blues aren't going to win a Stanley Cup.
When I was saying I'd like to see San Jose win, the only team I want to see more is the Blues. They got a chance, man.
They are a really good team, and it'd be one of the coolest stories ever. Last place, January 3rd.
Their odds at that time were 300-1. Imagine getting a ticket then.
I think now they're like 5-1. So, yeah, they're good, Big Cat.
I mean, they got a lot of good weapons there. Guys play as a team that they're hard to play against.
So, there's a chance 100% that they could get the yeah fuck that's gonna be tough for you i'm just gonna pretend that it's not you didn't say anything i feel like i mean like i wouldn't i mean i know like you got the rivalry with st louis cardinals cubs blackhawks blues but you have you have your cups you have your world yeah here's the thing i'll yeah i'll explain it to you real quick so cardinals fans forever obviously were like the cubs will never win one the cubs will never win one and now that both the cubs and obviously the blackhawks won three cups in the last 10 years it's fun to then reverse it on cardinals fans but you guys will never win a cup and they're like that's so fucked up that you'd say that like bro i had one guy chirp me and he's like oh you're talking about total cups that's such a lame thing to do i went to his twitter avatar and he had like all the st louis cardinals rings in his header and i was like okay this makes sense like you're telling me that guy didn't make cubs jokes before they want it so it's it's a little bit of that you know i know what you're saying now and listen like i'm not i'm not huge into twitter i mean i'm on there but i try not to pay attention too much because during the playoffs, NBA, NHL, like, this and that's losing his mind. People, I don't know, like, people lose their mind on that website now.
Ruthless. It's like, what is going on with fans now? It's bizarre.
Dude, it is. It's crazy.
It's crazy. And here's my favorite thing.
Playoff hockey Twitter, when we do the debates of big hits and whether they need suspensions or not that might be that that might be like two sides that are more at odds than like the middle east or like you know the hatfield and mccoys people cannot get along whatsoever on twitter when it comes to the playoffs no they can't at all and it seems to me like it could be civil like hey man i thought that i thought was a little high. Elbow kind of hit the guy's head.
I think it should be a game suspension. Next guy.
I disagree. I don't think he hit him that high.
Okay, well your fucking mother should die again. Man, it all comes down to if it's a player from your team that did it, then you always, even if he's guilty, then you just, it's a flow chart.
You say, no, he's not guilty. And then maybe if somebody makes a good point, yeah, he's definitely guilty.
Then you say, well, your guy did the same thing two years ago. Right.
Yeah, exactly. It always comes back to what your guy did in 1986.
Yeah, they'll never forget that. Actually, along those lines, Gary Bettman said, I think it was earlier today, that he doesn't think that the NHL will ever be able to make all hits to the head illegal just because of the nature of the sport.
Do you think that's possible at all? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's ever going to be possible. I certainly think that the way they're going now where any time you get a guy in the head, you're probably getting suspended is the way to go.
I mean, like, for a long time, you got a penalty if you high-stick the guy with your stick, but you didn't if you hit him with your shoulder in the temple. So they're going towards the right direction.
So one last question before we do a little NBA talk. When you're watching, I guess this kind of segues into NBA talk.
When you're watching an NBA playoff series, it's always interesting because game to game, it's the zigzag theory. Whatever happened in the last game, it's going to be completely opposite the next game because teams make adjustments, they get used to opponents, whatever it may be.
In hockey, I feel like the coaches, other than shifting up some lines, especially towards the end of the series when they want to maybe put their best players out there on one line together, is there a lot like x's and o's game to game stuff that coaches are doing uh yeah there is there's a lot

there's a lot of changing things up i mean the best coaches in hockey are ones that are kind of

able to adapt on the fly and figure out all right they they got our breakout figured out we got to

go to something else or our forecheck needs to change they're getting out of their zone so easily

against us so it definitely does change but it's a lot of just execution. Like you can't change your power play that much in terms of like, you know, your setup, what kind of system you're going to run, how you're going to enter the zone.
But you've got to work on scoring goals on your PP if you can't get it, if you can't get anything going. Like that's how you have to win playoff series a lot is on the man advantage so there definitely needs to be adjustments game to game i don't think it's as much as the as the nba does i i think nba can change their starting lineup you know they things like that where hockey you got you got your four lines playing maybe a guy hops in the third or fourth line that was a healthy scratch but not much change changes besides just trying to execute better from game to game this, I've seen a lot less in the NHL playoffs than years before of momentum in series, where game by game things are switching and it really hasn't been growing.
So that sounds like the NBA a little bit, but I hope that's the only thing it sounds like. Out West, Logan Couture and Jumbo.
What a player. Those two guys.
I don't like watching that much hockey outside of, you know, obviously the Washington Capitals and all their rivalries. But it's hard to pay attention sometimes to the late games.
But I feel like I've been watching those two guys tear shit up out there for a long time. What is it about those two guys in particular that during the playoffs they always show up? Well, Thornton's just, you know, he's a Hall of Famer.
He's one of the best of all time. He's been doing this forever.
He loves the game. He's a true hockey guy, in and out.
And it's no surprise that he always shows up, even as he gets older and older. Couture is just, I wish I knew basketball better to give you guys, like, an example of who's somebody that's just not the best at anything, but just so good at everything.
You i'm saying like he's not the fastest skater austin rivers okay austin rivers whoever he's not the fast skater doesn't have the hardest shot doesn't have the um you know the best hands but everything together is just this incredible player i actually read something uh biz read something in the last 10 years or nine years uh ovechkin leaped the NHL in playoff goals with 50. Logan Gautier is number 2 with 43.
That's crazy. Just the other night, just the other night.
Yeah, exactly, because nobody knows about him. Just the other night, he said he had to be better before Game 3 in Colorado, San Jose, Colorado series.
He said before to the reporters in the morning, I've got to be better, I'm not happy with how I played the first two games. Goes out, gets a hat trick that night.
So it's like this guy just is perfect for the playoffs because of how he plays. He's a honey badger.
Hunts down the puck great defensively. He just does it all.
And somebody that doesn't get enough credit, probably because he is out west, like you're saying, playing late at night. But he's a sick player.
Yeah. All right.
And I'm glad that Biz Nasty was able to read that article to you. Yeah.
Yeah, well. It took him a couple hours, but we got it out.
Two meeting of the minds there. You two.
Last question. SeatGeek question.
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Have you been watching the NBA playoffs? I see the highlights.

I put on that game the other night at intermission of the Sharks-Colorado.

I put on that Houston Warriors game.

Yeah.

It was okay.

I mean, I don't – whatever.

It's all right.

It's all right.

I mean, the Warriors are just going to win again.

I fuck – it's so – they're going to win again.

What is the point of all this?

What's the equivalent in the NHL to a landing zone foul? First explain a landing zone foul. Okay, a landing zone foul is when you go up to shoot a jump shot, a three-point shot, something like that, and then the other player walks underneath you as you're in midair, so you land on their foot and you could sprain your ankle.
And that would be devastating, obviously. Now the Rockets are just jumping five feet forward into Golden State Warriors players, trying to draw that landing zone foul, claiming like five feet in front of me is also my landing zone.
Okay, so I guess my comparison would be the goalie maybe trying to sell a little goalie interference. Yeah.
He could draw a penalty. Maybe taking a step outside the crease, bumping into a player, and then throwing your head back like he bumped into you, and all of a sudden the guy gets two minutes goalie interference.
That sounds kind of like what that is. But, I mean, if you've already shot the ball, he's not affecting your ability to shoot.
Well, you have to be able to land. Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, I saw SVP do that thing on Harden, and every fucking shot he's trying to score looks a little different jump than the ones he's trying to draw a foul. As a coach, I'd be like, buddy, are you trying to score or draw a foul? What is it? Because you jump different every time.
Yeah. No, it's true.
He would bench James Harden. Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, Yeah. Although he's a warrior.
He got poked in the eye. Yeah, that's true.
Well, he is a rocket warrior. He's a rocket warrior.
About that, who was it that got hit in the back? Was that the goalie from the Stars the other night that got hit in the back? Yeah, that was a little tough. That was a tough look.
That was a tough look. That was Ben Bishop.
Yeah, so he did a little bit of embellishment right there. He's got a little NBA in him.
Yeah, that should have been

a penalty, 100%. You can't slash

a goalie in the back, but I mean,

if he were to get slashed in the back like that in

practice, I don't think he would have

thrown his arms up in the air and fallen

over. So yeah, a little embellishment right

there. Ben Bishop, famous for having

the shits against the Blackhawks in the

Stanley Cup final.

Remember that? No. Oh, yeah.
He had the shits. I think it was game two.
I think it was a game that Hank and I were at. Oh, I thought you said the shits.
No, the shits. I'm like, you're a goalie.
Shits. No, the shits, remember? Yeah, and I battled through that and missed a podcast the other night.
I know where he's going through. Tough stuff.
It's tough stuff. All right.
Well, Ryan, thank you as always. Have fun at your event.
Obviously, this is going to be airing after your event. But if you somehow got a leaked audio footage of this, go out to the bar tonight and see Ryan Whitney.
He would love to take a picture with you. And listen to Spittin' Chicklets.
I really would. Any Chicklets fan.
I can't wait to see you guys. And Hank, you didn't ask this episode, but I kept forgetting when you say famous situate people, or my favorite situate people.
Do you know who Mike Conroy is? Rings a bell. Okay, Mike Conroy, everyone should know, one of the best athletes I've ever seen.
Sick quarterback, then he was a first-round pick in the Major League Baseball draft, then he went and played baseball for a while, never made it in the majors, then he came back, played football at UConn when he was like 25 years old. We grew up the same age.
He was a good-looking stallion, amazing athlete. So Mike Conroy, if you know Citruitt, you know Mike Conroy.
Put it in the Wikipedia entry. There we go.
All right. I feel like there are probably 20 guys named Mike Conroy that came out of Citruitt.
Yeah, none of them. Oh, Mike Conroy.
Yeah, yeah. That's real Mike Conroy.
Yeah. Yeah, rightroy yeah right right you been keeping up with any of the local politics going on Whitney hmm no I've kind of been staying away from that Hank you motherfucker that interview with Ryan Whitney was brought to you guys by Postmates.

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You go to Postmates and you use the code PMT. And now, Randy Moss.
And now for something completely different. Okay, we welcome on probably the guy that I get the most tweets about every single year right around this time.
It is one of our very first guests, the original Randy Moss. He will be on your TV on Friday.
He'll be on your TV all Saturday for the Kentucky Derby. Randy, it's great to talk to you.
We're ready to go. Please start with explaining what the hell happened at Omaha Beach.
Okay, I'll try. I'm walking through the grandstand, by the way, so if it sounds a little chaotic, there have been some people that already on Thursday have been over-served.
I love it. I don't know what that poor 10 is coming up for the next couple of days, but anyway.
Okay, he suffered an entrapped epiglottis so what the epiglottis is if you guys really care yes it's the it's it's the little thing in the throat that keeps the food from going down the wrong pipe and if it if it gets inflamed or uh if there's some tissue around it that gets infected it can prevent the epiglottis from doing what it's supposed to do,

and it can actually cause a breathing obstruction.

And it's actually kind of endemic to thoroughbred racehorses.

You see it all the time.

You can be standing by the rail in the morning, watching, you know,

when it's quiet, and watching horses work and gallop in the morning. And you can hear them it sounds like a freight train coming down the track and it's it's horses that are having trouble getting their air they have a bit of a breathing problem you can surgically correct it it's a very minor surgery horses can be sent back into training in uh you know a week or two and they can race again in a matter of weeks.

But they're going to be pretty conservative with Omaha Beach

because he's such a good horse,

and they're probably going to wait until the summer before they run him again.

Okay, so he's a choker, in other words.

Yes.

He would have been a choker if he had run in the Kentucky Derby with this condition.

Yes, definitely.

Okay, so this is like a high draft prospect in the NCAA skipping the second half of the season to prepare for the draft. This is like a high draft prospect going through the medical examination at the Combine and flunking it.
But he's still going to get paid. They're going to stud him out after all this, right? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. yeah and as a matter of fact days before it was announced that when he retires to stud he's going to go to spin thrift farm in Lexington Kentucky so that's already been arranged even before this there we go he's ready to go so the other story I want to get to before we get some winners from you the weather it's supposed to be tomorrow.
It's supposed to be terrible Saturday in terms of rain. Can you explain to us what happens when the track gets muddy and how do the horses respond and what should we be looking for when we're betting? The smart horses don't run very well in the mud.
It's the ones that aren't so smart. I like that.

That seem to do well.

Seriously, a lot of it has to do with running style. Because if you're a horse that comes from behind, like last year, for example, in the Kentucky Derby, it was a sea of mud.
Right? And even though the pace was unbelievably fast, Justify was up on the pace all the way and wins and comes back to the winner's circle with pristine silks, looking like he hadn't even run in a race. And then you have the horses that came from behind in that race, okay? And their trainers told me that two or three days later, they were still washing mud out of their horse's eyes.
Horses get hit with these walls of water and mud when they come from behind. And obviously that can be very discouraging to a horse, especially a smart horse.
And they can just decide, you know, the hell with this. And so that's why typically when you have a wet racetrack like that, the horses that run near the front have the advantage because they're not getting all that stuff kicked in their faces.
Okay, that's interesting to note. I like that.
I mean, that makes sense. Get ahead, stay ahead.
I don't want to be in this much. Yeah, I like that.
Exactly. Can you give me a villain? Like, which horse should I root against? A villain.
How about maximum security? Let's make maximum security into the villain. Only because he won the Florida Derby.
He's undefeated. Okay, but there should be a kind of an asterisk by his last win in the Florida Derby because the competition in that race just

basically handed him the race in a nicely wrapped gift box. They didn't even try to pressure him

at all on the front end. The jockey didn't expect to be on the lead.
The trainer didn't expect to

be on the lead. Everybody else just decided to take back, and all of a sudden this horse is just

cruising, loping along on an easy lead, and therefore he was able to win pretty impressively a lot of a lot of people are going to be betting on him uh but his last race was just a little bit phony and in in that regard i like that that's a little tidbit there so security ain't played nobody. Yeah, so Omaha Beach, out.
Give us maybe the top three

horses

at UC. there.
Massimo security ain't played nobody. Yeah, so Omaha Beach out.
Give us maybe the top three horses that you see winning this race. So maybe not even the odds.
Who you can see winning this race on Saturday? To me, the top three contenders to win first of all, game winner trained by Bob Baffert. Surprise, surprise.
There's never been a single year in the 145-year history of the Kentucky Derby in which one trainer has saddled the top three betting favorites in the race. And Bob Baffert has a chance to do that on Saturday, now that Omaha Beach is out, with game winner, Roadster, and Improbable.
They'll be the three horses that will start as the top three favorites in the morning line when betting begins, and I think they're the logical horses that are going to wind up being the top three betting picks. But Game Winner, to me, is the best one of the three.
He's 0-2 this year, but he should have won both those races. I think he's coming up to the race in good fashion.
The only thing we don't know about game winner is if it's a sea of mud and he's a come from behind her. He's never running it before.
And so we don't know how he will handle it. Then there's a horse named Tacitus who was trained by Bill Mott who's never won the Kentucky Derby, Hall of Fame trainer, great trainer.

He won the Wood Memorial at Aqueduct and was broadsided at the start,

managed to win anyway.

So, you know, the Derby's got a lot of bumping and grinding going on

with 20 horses sometimes.

He's been involved in something like that and not only held his own,

but he won the race.

And then one of Baffert's other two, it's kind of a toss-up,

but I would probably lean toward Improbable over Roadster Improbable was second to Omaha Beach in the Arkansas Derby and really trying hard coming to the wire and he does have some experience on a sloppy racetrack I like Improbable I was reading up about the horses before you came on and Improbable they said is a troublemaker in that he he has a bad temperament but if you can get him running in a straight line he can beat anyone else on the racetrack that day the story of his name is kind of funny too he has basically the same ownership as justify uh the triple crown winner of last year so and he looks a little bit like him so the owners are like you improbable would this be? If improbable, if this horse can win the Kentucky Derby. So that's why they named him improbable.
I like that. Okay.
That makes me want to bet on him. We have a minor stake in win-win-win turning out to win.
Tell us what your thoughts on that horse are, because I think if win-win-win does win, what do we do?

We get like $1,000 and we're in the running to win a trip somewhere? Yeah, we each get $1,000, and we don't have to put anything up for it. Well, coincidentally, I'll tell you the same thing that I've told a dozen other people that have asked me who I thought were the best long shots in the Kentucky Derby.
Win-win-win. All right.
and a horse named By My Standards, who won the Louisiana Derby,

but he's still probably going to be, you know, anywhere from 18 to 25 to 1. That's about the price.
Win, win, win is going to be, too. Okay.
But even back in February, I texted my colleague, my great friend Jerry Bailey, and said, you've got to watch this horse. You the date here's the race you're not gonna believe this this horse is like really good and it was win win win and we've been we've both been following him ever ever since and i think he set up to run a pretty good race but again if it's really sloppy you know he's a horse that comes from behind yeah okay but i like that so before we get your oaks before we get your Oaks picks, which I think you've hit like three years in a row on this show, give me one horse that I can throw into my exotics in the Kentucky Derby.
Maybe a horse that will come, like you said, it's probably going to be tough to come from behind on Saturday, but a horse that has long odds that might finish well here and get into that third spot if you're now okay win win win and by my standards are both going to be long shots and i think they have the best chance to hit the board in the super effective but if you're talking about a horse that's going to be like an obscene price right i mean you're talking about a huge long shot then i would lean toward a horse like Cutting Humor, who was trained by Todd

Pletcher.

He won the Sunland Park Derby in El Paso, so he's going to fly way under the radar.

My Met Bird ran in the Sunland Park Derby, but that's the only horse that's ever come

out of the Sunland Park Derby to win the Kentucky Derby.

But he ran good in that race.

He ran very well.

He ran a fast time, track record time. He was outside on the turn, so he lost on the ground.
Managed to win anyway. He'll come from behind.
So he'll be a big prize. He'll be 40-50 to 1.
Okay. And now the Oaks, you have killed it on the Friday picks.
Have I? Yes, you have. Have I really? Okay.
And I'm sure you'll have your picks also during the telecast. But, yeah, I think you're three years in a row.
I think you have gotten our listeners winners on Friday. So, you know, whatever race you like, whatever horse you like on Friday, lay it on us.
Well, let's talk about the Oaks. The favorite in the Oaks is going to be a horse named Belafina.
And Belafina is a horse based in California.

And if you watch all of Belafina's races in California, they're sensational.

And she looks in those races in California, if you compare those races to all the rest

of the horses in the Kentucky Oaks, if they weren't fillies, you'd say it was like a man

against boys kind of thing, right?

But the only bad race Belafina has ever had in her life was in the Breeders' Cup Juvenile Phillies last year. She ran a bad fourth, didn't look very good, and that was here at Churchill Downs.
The only race that she's ever run outside of the state of California. And since she's been here at Churchill Downs, you know, she hadn't been here that long, not even even a week but they take her out in the morning and gallop her and you get all these people thousand people watching every horse as they come out analyzing them and picking them apart she doesn't look very good so she's going to be the favorite as a matter of fact if you would watch her in the mornings around the track, you would say, I couldn't bet on her.
And for a horse to have those negatives and to be the favorite, I think it's a good horse to bet against. So there are two horses, and I'm tossed up between.
It's a horse named Champagne Anyone and Restless Rider. I think I would give Restless Rider an advantage over Champagne Anyone, but to me that's a pretty good exact to play.
Okay, I like that. I had one last question.
Explain to me there's a horse in the Kentucky Derby that's coming from the United Arab Emirates. And those horses can't, they've never won.

Explain to me the difference between horses that come from that far away

and race in like a completely different region of the world

and what happens when they come all the way to America

and haven't been able to win the big race.

Well, okay.

There are two different ways to explain that,

and I won't take too much of your time and bore you with it.

United Arab Emirates, horse racing in the United Arab Emirates is basically controlled by the ruler of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammed, who spends as much or more money on racehorses than anybody else in the world. For his entire 30-plus years in the thoroughbred business, he has coveted the Kentucky Derby and has never been able to win it.
But he's always wanted to do it his way. Because he wants to promote Dubai, he wants to train the horses in Dubai, race the horses in Dubai, and then bring them over to the United States to run on the Kentucky Derby, and it just doesn't work.
the competition over there is not as tough um the travel is is not that you know is not that desirable and and so those horses typically have not lived up to expectations although they haven't really been that good anyway this year this horse the top two finishers actually raced in the united states they were uh they were one was in louisiana one was in California, and they weren't winning, and they weren't good enough to win in the prep races in the United States, but they thought, you know, we can ship halfway across the world, and it's a $2 million purse, and the competition is like very subpar. Why not? So they did, and they finished first and second.
And they got the points to run in the Kentucky Derby. So now, Plouze Caparfe and Gray Magician have made it into the Kentucky Derby field.
They'll both be about 50-1, but they have a lot of money in the bank. Okay.
Do horses get jet lag? Yes. Oh, yeah.
As a matter of fact, there used to be a handicapping theory called the Dubai balance. Horses that came back from Dubai a lot of times wouldn't be any good the rest of the year.
Huh. Interesting.
Trainers have figured out a way, in a lot of cases cases to alleviate that with hydration, with vitamins,

a lot of other little things that they've tried.

It's not as bad as it used to be, but oh yeah, horses definitely get jet lagged.

Okay.

What's your hydration schedule?

Because we were talking before we went on the air here that you do a seven-hour day on Saturday.

And I know like Mel Kiper, he doesn't really drink any water when he's doing the draft,

so he doesn't have to get up and use the bathroom.

Do you have like a regimen that you stick to every derby day? That is funny that you would ask that. I weigh 175 pounds.
I've got a personal trainer who tells me that I have to drink half of my body weight in ounces. So I've got to drink between 85 and 90 ounces of water, which is a hell of a lot of water to drink.
And I can't do it. I can't do it.
I can get about half that. I'm a total wimp when it comes to down on that much water.
How much do you drink? A lot. A lot.
A lot. I'm a big old horse.
I've got 32 ounces right next to me. Well, yeah, I drink one of these.
I drink 32 ounces of water. I drink like 60 gallons a day.
I'm a big old horse. So we're doing this from the bathroom, right? Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much. Yeah.
Are you a mint julep guy? I hate them. It's like drinking lighter fluid.
You ever had a mint julep? Yeah. I like them once a year.
Yeah. Oh, I can't even go that far.
I like them once a lifetime and I don't even like that. It's definitely an acquired taste, for sure.
I'm a margarita guy, not a mint julep guy. Alright, well, thank you so much, Randy.
As always, it's a pleasure. Hopefully we'll talk to you in a couple weeks when we have the start of maybe another Triple Crown winner and enjoy the weekend and good luck on Saturday.
Hopefully you can stay a little bit dry. And everyone make sure to tweet at Randy your thanks when he nails those Oaks pics again.
Yes, yes. Tweet at him.
We'll talk again from not-so-lovely Pimlico. Yes.
Thank you, Randy. Talk to you soon.
All right. Take care.
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Enter promo code TAKE to get 20% off your cryo freeze and anything site-wide. Okay, let's get to some segments.
First up, we have an NPR'd in my take. Jeff Fisher's credit cards were stolen.
We got to get to the bottom of This is a Global Link prepaid call from Doug Gottlieb, an inmate at the Salt Lake County Correctional Facility. Yeah, he took that shit.
On Wednesday, May 1st, Jeff Fisher, the legend of the NFL and future coach of the year, had his credit card stolen from his car in a Utah parking lot. Our search took us far and wide as the culprit was on the loose, but all signs pointed to one man.
I think we figured that one out. Mystery solved.
Mystery solved. We know a guy who loves to steal credit cards.
i just read this tweet from jeff fisher for you please do uh my and my son's pickups were broken into in cedar city utah according to pd here's poi parentheses person of interest using our credit cards hv info please reference case c503. And he said, please help me find this alleged POS, in parentheses, piece of shit.
With the eye bleeped out. With the eye bleeped out.
Jeff Fisher, his Twitter, like, awakening. It's been wonderful to watch.
It's been incredible. Yeah, so hopefully they got to the bottom of this.
this you hate to see that happen but it is pretty funny to just imagine coach fisher and his son driving around town running the same errands but in different trucks yeah parking next to each other with their separate trucks and what are we gonna do to this guy that's the other parts like we're gonna find this guy and we're gonna get we're gonna ask him for the credit cards back if you see the visual of the guy He's probably already been arrested a few times

For credit card theft

You know what I'm not going to

I love Coach Fisher

He's a friend

Were your credit cards just sitting there?

We don't snitch on this podcast

Also looks like he went to McDonald's

He could be an award winning listener too

The POS

If you're a P.O. shit

That stole Jeff Fisher's credit card

Just please give him back

All will be right with the world

Let's go. an award-winning listener, too.
The POS? If you're a PO shit that stole Jeff Fisher's credit card,

just please give him back.

Yeah, please, please.

All will be right with the world.

Yeah, you're looking at... We won't even do anything.

I'm not going to make the joke,

but many people have probably said

that's a pretty hefty prison sentence.

That's like seven to nine years.

Oh, PFT, don't do that.

I'm just saying I didn't make it.

I was saying I saw other people

probably make it in my brain.

Okay, fine.

Skip Bail has said that

Kevin Durant versus MJ is a real debate.

Mm-hmm.

Sure did.

Thank you. I'm just saying I didn't make it.
I was saying I saw other people probably make it in my brain. Okay, fine.
Skip Baila said that Kevin Durant versus MJ is a real debate.

Sure did.

Bad visual.

This guy, it was unbelievable, this Dodger fan,

tried to catch two foul balls and drop $50 worth of food in the process.

These are in like three innings apart.

Hilarious move.

Also brings us to the all-time question. What is it about foul balls that grown men can't help themselves? They're awesome.
They are awesome. It's a prize.
I'm not saying I would do anything different if I were this guy. I like to think I would be the guy at the game that would catch a ball and immediately look around to give it to a kid.
But in all honesty, here's what would happen if I got a foul ball, okay? I'm in the stands. I, like, jump for it, like, across two people.
I don't even think. You can't jump that high.
No, I used to be able to dunk. Okay.
And so maybe I knock a woman off balance. Not over, but I'm not thinking about this.
Oh, shit, PFT. You just hit a woman.
And so I get it, and I catch it with bare hand, and then I jump up twice, and then I think, PFT, what the fuck are you doing?

And then I look around to give the ball away, but bad news, the camera had already cut away from me before I gave the ball away. And so then I have to explain, that's what's going to happen to me eventually.
I can already see it coming. I love that if you watch the video, the guy's dad, I assume,

immediately gets on the phone being like,

you won't believe it, we got on TV for two seconds for him missing a foul ball. And that's like such a relatable moment where not only are you saying, fuck this $25 sandwich that I probably bought just a second ago.
I want this foul ball. But then also being like, oh, my God, I got on TV making a fool of myself.

Everyone record it.

Please make sure you check it.

I might even be on the news.

If you watch it, though, it's so funny because the first time it's French fries and I think a burger.

And then the second time it's like a full pizza that he drops.

And they're laugh out a lot of fun.

It's like slapstick comedy watching fall over. But Spin Zone, it's a great diet.

True.

Just go to a Major League Baseball game and get foul balls hit at you. Foul ball diet.
Yeah, and you spill all your food all the time and you won't get fat. Also, fuck the NBA because they have warped my brain where anytime someone in the stands does anything hilarious, I'm like, well, that was a plant.
Yeah. And I said that out loud.
I was like, this is such a plant. And then I did the math in my head.
I was like, but how would they hit them right there? Yeah, it's a plant. Fuck it.
He did look like the guy from the gift that's walking out to wash his car that just spills everything all over himself. Yeah, I thought my brain went to the same place yours did.
So maybe they just had that part of the ballpark being filmed pregame and they just shot some Oh. And taped it, and then piped it in during the broadcast.
Anytime it was hit just in that general direction. They're like, oh, we got him again.
Fuck. The internet's ruined everything.
That's probably what they did. It's ruined everything.
We have a Mike Greenberg's dumb rules. Explain this dumb rule for us as the greenie Stan.
Okay. So I don't like the tone of voice you just used.

I said greenie Stan.

Stan is actually a compliment.

That means you're a number one fan.

Yeah, but there was like a little bit of looking down on me being a greenie Stan.

Like we're both sitting down.

There's not a lot of us in that culture.

So just know that we are legion.

There's almost 50,000 every morning.

Yep.

So what happened was college football changed their overtime rule, where now if you go to five overtimes, the ball snapped from the two-yard line. This is the reaction to the LSU-Texas A&M game.
Yeah, it's just one problem that's being solved right now. Remember that awesome game we all loved? There's one game a year that this will fix.
One incredible game per year that they're going to change. If this makes me lose an over, I don't know.
I can't figure out the math on it. No, it would help the over.
No, but. Oh, yeah.
It would help the over. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right. So we're good.
Yeah, we're good. Perfect rule.
Again, it never goes to. Greeny hates it.
Greeny, first of all, hates college overtime rules. He thinks that it's a mockery of the game.
Which is hilarious because everyone's like, these rules are awesome. Everyone gets the ball and there's more points.
That's the one thing that we can all agree on is that college football overtime is great. Yeah.
It is great fun. So he made a couple analogies.
First of all, he said that's like if you did the playoff at the Masters on a putt-putt green. Which I'm not opposed to, like bringing the windmill or the clown.
By the way, that that's nice little sneaky trick that greenie does all the time he compares a new rule to changing something at the masters the stuffiest place in the world where the rules have never changed yep could you imagine and he also said a better idea would be to have the mascots arm wrestle okay so that's greenie being like someday maybe i can play for the for the Jets as the arm wrestling mascot. He would get his ass kicked.
I know, but he would at least get to lace him up. Yeah.
You know what? I think it's week two. Texas Longhorns, LSU Tigers.
Having Bevo and Mike the Tiger arm wrestle would be sick as shit. That would be really good.
Yeah. Well, no, we don't want them to fight to the death.

The actual live mascots?

I wouldn't not watch.

I mean, Mike would kill him.

I wouldn't enjoy it.

Really?

Bevo's got the horns, and he outweighs them by like 1,000 pounds.

I guess if Mike was smart, if Mike has any intelligence,

he'll win that easily because he's just got to go behind Bevo.

If he goes right at Bevo, Bevo could get him with one. The real question is going to be if Coach O was training Mike.
Yes. Because if Coach O was training Mike all day.
He's going to run the ball. Right down Bevo's throat.
Right down his throat. Yeah, exactly.
Smash mouth. All right.
Wrapping up before we get to FAQs and Game of Thrones, we have a King's Day Kings for Jameis Winston. So Jameis Winston, tell me exactly what this is again.
He says he wants to play at 250 pounds next year. And my reaction was, is that less or more? Well, it's one of these things where it's a narrative that Jameis is getting big.
The reality is he says that he played at 245 last year. I do not believe that whatsoever.
He weighed in at the combine at 231. There's no way.
When you told me that headline, I was like, oh, so Jameis is going to lose 20 pounds. Yeah.
But no, he's going to gain weight? I mean, stick with what works, I guess. Just get fatter.
Just get fatter. The new Jared Lorenzen.
I mean, it is smart to always, like if you get to a point in your career in sports where things might not be going your way and you're up on a big season, you have to do the news dump of a body change. It's also great to just announce ahead of time that you're going to get fat.
Right. That way, when you do get fat, people are like, this is part of the plan.
Right. He's actually working out really hard by eating a lot.
This is good that his face is now twice the size that it used to be.

It's good that it looks like he got stung by bees all off season.

How many calories are in a dub?

Because he put on a significant amount of weight.

Yeah, that's a good point.

When he sucked down those middle fingers.

Carb-free dub.

Carb-free dub.

Yeah.

Need one of those.

Hank, let's finish it up.

How did the pile actually start, and at what point did it reach the point of no return? Okay, so the pile started, I think, with when we first moved into this office. We said, everyone send us mail, and we will do a video series where we open it.
Good idea. We'll leave it at that.
Problem with that idea is we actually have to open it and do stuff that part is the wrinkle there so that's a wrench in the well we did the video and then if you remember you probably don't i was like let's put the video out and it was like a running joke of yours to be like oh we'll put it out next week yeah put it out next week we'll put it out next week we'll put it out next week we never put it out we'll put it out next week it was a good video yeah pile grew and it's funny because it's a joke that no one else knows about except us yeah so we gotta keep some things to ourselves i think we were kind of products of our environment too because big cat has the corner spot yeah and so the corner is just naturally where things gravitate towards so we had all these boxes that we just started stacking up behind his chair And then before you know it, Big Cat's just throwing his, like every T-shirt that he gets. Every T-shirt, everything that's been sent to me.
The other thing I have is I am a big, after I eat, I need to sometimes costume change, as I say in the theater business, I think. And by that, I mean I will go from a T-shirt to a sweatshirt, back to a bigger sweatshirt to a smaller sweatshirt.
Basically, any time I eat something, I feel like I need to cover myself in a blanket. So I made sure I had blankets on deck.
You need to get that examined, that tendency. I feel like you need to unpack that.
Well, it's because I feel fat. I'm on the edge of being grossly fat, and every time I eat something, I go over that edge.
Every time I eat a meal, I have to cry in a tarp for 30 minutes. Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much. Yeah, I would talk to somebody about that.
Stella does that too. She just jumps right underneath my covers every time she eats breakfast.
She's ashamed that she's getting fat. She's like her dad, yeah.
That's sweet, actually. Was there ever an event or moment when you three looked at each other and realized 1.0 wasn't enough and that there was going to have to be an hq 2.0 no i i don't think so because we just kind of go well we're not really i was gonna say every day but yeah but we've gotten so used to it right it's just like we just we just show up and do things but it really is like every day has been when we have so many podcasts going out of here, like having to juggle it and having to kick people out of the studio or being like, we can't take that because someone else is here.
So basically every day. But PFT is right.
It became just we became numb to it. It's going to be awesome.
We actually I was working on booking a guest for a couple of weeks from now. And just the text message saying, come whenever, was awesome.

But- I shouldn't have said that way.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Just come wherever you want.

And the guests that I'm talking about, it's even grosser, but people-

Yeah, it is very, very gross.

Come wherever.

But a spin zone on that would be, now we look really desperate.

We're like, oh yeah, just show up whenever.

We don't have anything else going on.

True.

So we got a fake-

We got a fake busyness and be like, hey, we have studio availability from like 4 to 4.15.

Can you make it?

Can you make it?

Yeah, good point.

Kill Fuck Mary, Rite Aid, CVS, Walgreens.

Okay, I'm going to...

What's the difference?

Kill...

Which one sells booze?

I'm going to kill Walgreens.

I'm going to kill Walgreens because they partnered up with Theranos.

Okay.

And they took people's blood and screwed it up.

But she was pretty convincing.

She was.

She did do that low voice and she had the Steve Jobs thing.

That's true.

She wore the black sweaters.

You know what?

I don't blame Walgreens.

You don't blame Walgreens for that?

No, I don't blame Walgreens at all.

I would get duped too.

Okay.

I'm still killing Walgreens.

I mean, I bought a fucking soccer team, dude.

I'm marrying CVS.

Love their receipts. Yeah.
Good kindling for firewood Yep Always stay warm Yep And then what was the last one? Rite Aid Who gives a shit? Yeah I'll fuck Rite Aid I don't even know what that is I'll get drunk and fuck Rite Aid One night Yeah I mean They all look They all are I think intentionally look the same They're all red letterings Yeah And you just go and get your candy And they're cool Rite Aid looks kind of like shit. You need a couple beers to get through the doors of Rite Aid.
Alright, I'll stick with what you got. Sup boys, and especially Reverend PFT.
How often do people still not know who you are on Twitter? Specifically, how many times a day does PFT get his grammar corrected by non-AWLs? Not much. Wait, how many times a day do people not know who i am i would say like 99 of people that i run into no on twitter oh on twitter so like when you tweet stuff with misspellings how many people don't get the joke i don't know it's tough because some people on twitter this will shock you or just dicks yeah and then some people...
People also, I've come to this theory, it's probably not even novel, but everyone is on Twitter and they're reading things incorrectly. Like everyone.
Yeah, so anytime I make a bad joke, it's your fault for reading it wrong. No, but like when you read your own replies, you're like, why are people yelling at me? It's like, they're probably not.
They're probably joking around. You're just in a bad mood.
Like, that happened to me the other day. Yeah.
Honestly, yeah. But people were being mean to me about the cable thing.
They were. So no matter what you do, do not be mean to Big Cat about his cable ever again.
Don't. That's the one thing that he really hates about Twitter.
Yes. No, I guess barely.
I don't really notice when it happens, I guess. All right, last one.
Two-part question. Did the part of my take crew have a falling out with Paul LaDuca? And if not, why won't Big Cat slash PFT acknowledge the question when asked, who says this is part of my take presented by Barstool Sports? So, no to Paul LaDuca.
I actually saw him last summer at Saratoga, and I have no clue why the second part of the question pertains to the first. Yeah, we like Paul.
Paul's our friend.

We'll have him on again, summertime.

Whenever he wants, really.

Yeah.

Open invite Paul.

When he's back in New York, one of the craziest guys I know.

Oh, last, last, last one.

Can you do a number two without a number one?

No.

Impossible.

No.

And also- That could be a challenge, though.

People on the internet, they just label everything a challenge.

What would this one be?

The Deuce Challenge. The no one challenge.
Did you do the ARIA Challenge? What's that? Where you flip something to the other hand? That's a very impressive challenge. That was terrible.
By the way, was that written in by a four-year-old? Can you do a number one without a number two? Actually, it was written in by Jabiz. Jabiz.
Capital J, lowercase a, capital B, I-Z-Z. Shout out to Biz Nasty for finally learning how to use the toilet correctly.
Jabiz. We're our good friends.
I'm going to try. Next time I go number two, I'm going to try.
Let us know how it goes. Yeah, record.
Put a GoPro in the toilet so we know what's real. So you can know what's coming out.
You'd actually probably go viral on U-Port. I could probably sell that.
Yeah. Would I have to squeeze the number one to cork it up? We're not going to tell you how to do it.
Or do you think I can just do it mind over matter? Maybe just put a little, like, wad of paper in your hole. Just plug myself up? I didn't say which hole.
You do have problems going number one, that's true. No I don't.
I can go number one right now. You're shy.

Pee on your face. Maybe that's what you gotta do.

Take a shit in front of

people. While Mark Schler's pissing his pants.

I just need a crap

in front of people in a

live camera. Yes exactly.
I just won't

be able to pee. You won't be able to pee.

Okay quickly. Game of Thrones.
Hank

where are we with Game of Thrones?

I don't even know. That was such a big hyped up

episode that I don't know where we go. Yeah we're a little

let down. I kind of

Thank you. Okay, quickly.
Game of Thrones. Hank, where are we with Game of Thrones? Like, I don't even know.
That was such a big hyped up episode that I don't know where we go. Yeah, we're a little let down.
I kind of, I've come down, like, since the season started. I was so hyped for episode one, for episode two, for episode three.
Super, super hyped. I was a little bit let down with how episode three kind of played out.
So I'm more of just like, all right, we'll see how it plays out. Hopefully they don't fuck it up too bad.
I rewatched Winterfell. I can't stress enough how bad the strategy was.
Yes. It was mind-numbingly bad.
From the Dothraki, which we mentioned, to just everything. Why wouldn't they just stay in the fucking castle to begin with and just shoot fire at them the whole time? I've got a conspiracy I just came up with right now.
Okay. What if the Dothraki are all alive and they knew that it was a bad battle strategy and they put all their swords out so they're still around? We never saw them die.
That's true. They always said, the one thing I know about Game of Thrones, as an expert who's watched the summary twice, if you don't see the person die, you can't be sure they're dead.
And even you see them die you still think they're alive and when they get surrounded by whites they don't die right that was what annoyed me the most like the amount of scenes re-watching it when it's like it shows the main character and they literally get surrounded and then it cuts away by who? right before they die they did it with John they get surrounded when? by whites like when the Night King raised all the whites back and then it showed them getting surrounded by whites and then it cut away. It showed Danny and Jorah getting surrounded, cut away.
Are we still talking about Twitter? So many whites. It was like a podcast convention.
But honestly, I just hope my guess for how the episode's going to go is it's going to be like a normal episode and at at the end, they'll have a cliffhanger, like unexpected death that gets you ready for episode five.

I hope they do something.

A really funny gag is if the whites, if they didn't like moan, if they just were all asking to speak to managers.

They just showed up to Winterfell.

They're like, can we speak to your manager?

They took out their flip phones.

They're like, you actually should not have a fire here.

You should not have a barbecue here. Okay, go on, Hank.
Sorry. We're making jokes.
I know you care about this. Sorry.
No, I actually care less now. Oh.
I hope if Arya, like, there's things that they can do to reel me back in, like bring in Howland Reed. If they kill Arya or, like, another main character out of nowhere, that would be great.
But I just don't think it's going to happen. Can I ask you one last question yes are you still team danny i'm team i'm team targ stark targ you're so you are targ stark lannister yeah team targ you're team lannister so wait a lannister is the one that always pays their dues right that's the little guy and then who else cersei jamie i'm Team Lannister, but Arya's so badass.
So she complicates it.

If... the little guy, and then who else? Cersei, Jaime.
I'm team Lannister, but Arya's so badass. So she complicates it.
I hope the faceless men come back and fucking kill her. If Gendry and Arya have a kid, then I'm probably team that kid, because that's a new wrinkle.
But yeah, Dany's the worst. I fucking hate her.
K It's crazy. It's a crazy take.
She's going to fight Jon Snow. She's going to fight Jon Snow.
Oh, Hank. He doesn't think Dany's going to fight Jon Snow.
The problem is, oh my God, Hank doesn't fight Jon Snow. Yeah, because they're going to get married.
They're going to have a kid together. No, they aren't.
They're going to put their aunt and niece. That's the Targaryen way.
But what happens? Dude, you're so wrong, Hank. What happens when Khaleesi...
Is that her name? Yeah, but Hank, don't say Khaleesi. Daenerys.
What happens when Khaleesi... I can't say any name around Hank.
I say Daenerys and say Khaleesi. But Big Cat, if she gets defeated, it would stand to reason that they kill her dragons as well.
No, they could be Jon Snow's dragon. He's Targaryen.
So he takes both her dragons away from her? He can take anything, yeah. You can't ride two dragons at once.

Yeah, you do.

Dude, you ever seen a catamaran?

No, listen.

No, you cannot ride two dragons.

Like, one on each back?

Just grab a fucking, you know, Mai Tai, hop on that catamaran.

A DDM threesome?

Yeah.

Done.

So you're wrong, Hank.

But you might be right.

But you're wrong.

They are going to fight.

Dany cannot take anyone else outshining her. Look what happened.
Jorah died in the friend zone. That fucking poor dude.
He was like, Jorah definitely went to Reddit incel after and was like, god damn it, she wouldn't fuck me. Here's my theory.
What the hell? Which is going to prove to be absolutely correct. Theon's alive.
No. I like that.
I mean, that one makes no sense. Well, if you go by my reasoning of if you don't get shot directly in the heart or directly in the brain on a TV show or movie, you end up surviving.
He took a spike through his body. Through his appendix.
You don't even need... Right through his body.
The Night King actually performed successful surgery. I probably saved his life.
Yeah. My main take is I need a main or secondary character death before the end of the episode.
Because you know they're going to end it with a classic like Game of Thrones, cliffhanger, death out of nowhere. Yes.
That's to be expected. I need something.
I need something more. You need someone to die.
What if Bran just accidentally rolls off a cliff? Like he's rolling back. That would be hilarious.
There's a chance that they could just be like, all right, see you Bran, leave him in Winterfell and his story's over. over.
Yeah. Like, they killed the Lord of the Light story.
They killed the White Walker story. Like, I hope they bring those back somehow.
Like, I hope, like, I don't know. Either way, I hope they start the next episode, what is it? Five.
Four. And everyone's just like, that was a lot.
And they just, like, have a real moment where they're like, damn, do you see me over there? I was killing all those dead people.

My prediction for the next episode is going to be pretty calm, but there's going to be one very, very violent moment.

Okay.

That's it.

So we'll see everyone on Monday.

We'll recap.

We'll recap all the NBA action.

I think we have recurring guest Richard Jefferson back on and maybe a surprise.

Love you guys. Thank you.
Stay anyway. Today is on my day.

I promise you, child.

I'm coming for your love.

Thank you. Take me.
Take me.

It's me. We'll be right back.
Thank you. But I need someone to wait So learn if life is okay

Stay on me

It's better to be safe than sorry

Hey

Hey

Hey Thank you. Outro Music