NL MVP Christian Yelich, NBA Playoffs, S8E3 Game Of Thrones Recap

1h 53m

NFL Draft recap, Josh Rosen traded, and John Elway got himself a tall quarterback (2:29 - 11:51). NBA Playoffs, Hank is thinking 18, Big Cat has a theory that the Warriors are only playing the Warriors and he's rooting for the Warriors plus Kawhi is amazing (11:15 - 24:06). Who's back of the week including Coachella and a new made up festival (24:06 - 36:44). NL MVP Christian Yelich joins the show with teammate Travis Shaw, talking about how hot he's been since last All Star Game, being in the zone, and why he shouldn't do the HR Derby so we don't have to eat each other's asses (36:44 - 76:25). Spoilers (no actual avenger spoilers) for LeSean McCoy, Talking Soccer, Monday Reading Sober Free Bars are the new rage, the dumbest Game of Thrones recap (starts at 97:33). 


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

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Runtime: 1h 53m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 NLMVP Christian Yelich friend for right now. There's some history there.
With benefits. With benefits.

Speaker 1 We talked to him about not only our stupid bet that we just made with ourselves that we're regretting, not regretting yet, but if he wins the home run derby, we will regret it.

Speaker 1 We talked about how hot he's gotten since we last talked to him. All-star game.
He's basically become a Hall of Famer overnight.

Speaker 1 And we have draft cleanup, NBA playoff, who's back, Monday reading,

Speaker 1 and we have the Battle of Winterfell, which we will get into. At the end of the show, no spoilers, until the end of the show.

Speaker 3 When cool, Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. The whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.
Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the song perfectly.

Speaker 1 Low place behind a low washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can pay all of the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Today is Monday, April 29th.

Speaker 1 PFT, should we give some grades for the draft? Let's do it. This never goes wrong.
I like giving my grades for the draft before the draft happens.

Speaker 1 And you can pencil in the Raiders for an F every year. Yep.
You can pencil in the Giants for an F every year. You can pencil in the Redskins usually for an A every year.

Speaker 1 And that usually works out pretty well for us. Jaguars A every year.

Speaker 1 I do my entire post-draft analysis based on where you were supposed to be picked in the mock draft versus the real draft.

Speaker 1 So if you reached because a bunch of guys, nerds online, made a mock draft, then I'm going to give you an F. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nothing based on them playing football.

Speaker 1 You know, like, I love overreacting to draft grades because.

Speaker 1 And that's the best part, too, is you not only have the draft grades that people, like the person writing it is overreacting, then the overreacting to the draft grades gets people mad too.

Speaker 1 That's the NFL draft. Also, Patriots always get an A.
Because you just assume that no matter what Belichick's doing, he's got like some proprietary formula that he's worked out. Right.

Speaker 1 And that's why he traded up like 20 spots to get a right-footed punter. He can see the future.
He's a warg. He is.
Just keeping it on. I don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 Nope. That's actually the back.
Yep. The back.
All right. So big, big news for like things that were notable.

Speaker 1 DK Metcalf got drafted by the Seahawks. Pete Carroll is just going to keep his shirt off forever.
He should coach shirtless. Yes.
That would be great.

Speaker 1 That was such a funny scene where DK walks in the room shirtless. And that's just guys being dudes.

Speaker 1 Pete Carroll sees him come in the room and he's like, oh, this guy's got his shirt off i gotta get my shirt off too that's how it works when you're a guy by the way credit to the entire nfl and the draft process for not picking dk metcalf top 10 being like hey this guy's really good at running in a straight line he's really jacked but he can't do anything else that makes you a good receiver and when i say credit to the nfl i mean al davis is just dead right he's yeah he lucked out on that one right he is like mike wallace with pecs that's how i can best describe dk metcalf i would have taken him top 10 just based on that one picture that was obviously taken at like a very flattering angle that made him look like a 3D muscle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it made him look like five times as wide. The girth on that guy's shoulders was just unreal.
So yeah, credit to Al Davis for still being dead. Yep.
Or maybe he's a white walker.

Speaker 1 He probably is.

Speaker 1 He was a white walker the last like 10 years of his life. Oh, also

Speaker 1 they got Tony Brown this offseason in addition to Antonio Brown. Antonio Brown was going at Ryan Clark on Twitter on Friday and said, it's on site when I see you.
I love that. But guess what?

Speaker 1 That wasn't Antonio Brown saying. That was Tony.
Tony Brown. So Tony, I don't know which one's Mr.
Big Chest. Well, that's DK Metcalf.
And it might be Mr. Big Check.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't know. We don't know.
DK Metcalf should squat on the Mr. Big Check.
Shade on sight is such a badass thing to say to someone on Twitter when you're probably never going to see them.

Speaker 1 And the other big news of the weekend, I would say, was Josh Rosen. Josh Rosen.
Got traded to the Dolphins for, I don't know, like, what, the 60th pick, something like that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, second and a fifth rounder.

Speaker 1 It was a kid from UMass, right? The really fast kid?

Speaker 1 Andy Isabella. Yeah.
Yes. So the guy that was shockingly not drafted by the Patriots is going to the desert, and Josh Rosen is going to Florida.
My question for you, big cat, is

Speaker 1 did Josh Rosen handle the trade too well? Is that a red flag? It's too mature. Well, so what happened after the trade?

Speaker 1 First of all, the whole Josh Rosen is a terrible teammate, terrible human being, is like the biggest runaway narrative of all time. Just to refresh everyone, it started with two things.

Speaker 1 One, Josh Rosen had a hot tub in his dorm room, which just

Speaker 1 a little heads heads up, the QB at a big-time college football program probably has sex. Building code violations.
Probably has sex. Yes, building code violations.
That's not in the student handbook.

Speaker 1 Number two, Jim Moore Jr., who's a shitty coach time and time again, got fired mid-season, and then in the draft process was like, hey, this Josh Rosen guy, he thinks I'm dumb. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, well, yeah, no shit. You are dumb.
Yeah, Jim Moore, the big red flag on Josh Rosen was he didn't listen to Jim Moore Jr.'s coaching enough.

Speaker 1 That should be like, let's draft this guy because he's smart enough to know the dumb people in the room. Exactly.
So yeah, it's become a runaway narrative.

Speaker 1 People are, it's so funny to me because what happens with runaway narratives is all the things that we're talking about. Don't explain to me what happens.
No, no, no. I'm explaining to the people.

Speaker 1 All the things that we love in like the accomplished quarterbacks are now negatives. Like Josh Rosen is a little abrasive.
He's a little arrogant.

Speaker 1 He thinks he's smart. He wants to be like be mentally challenged.
It's like all these things. Like, hey, Aaron Rodgers, kind of the same guy.

Speaker 1 Tom Brady, like he, you know, he seems like a pretty good teammate, but he had the whole Jimmy G thing where it's like he locked him out of the TB12 method. Right.
Big Ben, huge dickhead.

Speaker 1 He's won two Super Bowls. So it's like you're a dick, and it's good when you win.
And then if you are behind the worst offensive line of all time and you're a dick, you are a real big character.

Speaker 1 But the thing is, I don't know. When has he been a dick? I haven't seen nobody from the Arizona Cardinals said anything bad about him, right? Like his teammates seem to really like him.

Speaker 1 The one time he said that football's not everything. That's right.
That was it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, doesn't love football that was it good point he doesn't love football so much he uh was the mvp of larry fitzgerald's softball and home run derby chips yeah and the home run can you imagine can you just imagine if kyler murray had shown up to the fitzgerald's softball tournament and gone five for five with five grand slams and like seven outfield assists in the a's were like fuck this sucks but yeah the josh rosen like and with all that said you know we've obviously had a very good uh funny running bit this fall about the josh rosen stat line the his character i like the whole narrative is bullshit he could very well suck like he've had a rookie

Speaker 1 there are a lot of guys though who have had really bad rookie years and then they ended up being good and i just like i've been standing on this like you know pedestal being like why would no one take a shot at josh rosen like the dolphins did something smart it okay if he's bad you got a guy who was drafted 10th overall last year for a fucking third round pair or second round pick it's worth a risk i agree i agree and we don't know what josh rosen is he didn't look good for the most part.

Speaker 1 No. But I don't know how you can be

Speaker 1 Steven Smith. That was a Freudian slip there.

Speaker 1 Steve Smith put on his Stephen A. Smith hat and gave some takes about Josh Rosen, saying,

Speaker 1 What was the crux of his general argument?

Speaker 1 Because I was trying to find a point because he was saying it so assertively that I was like, I want to buy into whatever take this is, but I don't understand the words that are being put together.

Speaker 1 It was a mix of Josh Rosen unfollowing the Cardinals on Instagram

Speaker 1 and him not competing for a job that was

Speaker 1 like they drafted another quarterback and they wanted to do it. Number one overall.
He literally had no chance to compete for the job. In open competition.

Speaker 1 He showed up to OTAs last week when he knew he was going to get traded. Yeah.
So I don't know. I think Josh Rosen probably not as bad of a guy as people want him out to be.

Speaker 1 Might still suck as a quarterback, but I'm willing to give him a second shot. Yeah, it was kind of ridiculous.
And Steve Smith, like he is an entertaining orator. I will give him that.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like, I like to listen to Stephen A. Smith be pissed off at people.
That's the Steve Smith that I want. But in this case, I don't know that it really made a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 Well, also him telling everyone how to be a good teammate. Like, Steve Smith.
I loved Steve Smith. He's one of the all-time fun guys to watch.

Speaker 1 But I'm pretty sure he tried to fight every single one of his teammates at some point in his career. Yeah.
And officials at his solar. Yeah.
Ice up, son.

Speaker 1 That was actually awesome when he told him to ice up. He actually, Steve Smith is actually the perfect example of how funny narratives get.

Speaker 1 He was a dick, and he was like an asshole to his teammates, but everyone's like, well, that's the competitor in him. Yeah.
That's That's just what? That's just Steve Smith, man.

Speaker 1 That's just what he does.

Speaker 1 So Josh is on the move to South Florida. That'll be interesting to see next year.

Speaker 1 What else happened over the week? Like in the draft, no real surprise, like Will Greer,

Speaker 1 going to Carolina. John Elway got his tall quarterback.
Drew Locke goes to the Broncos. Small hands, though.
Might I remind you?

Speaker 1 Nine inches. Yeah.
Also,

Speaker 1 you're forgetting, though, when he gave the double finger guns and the wink at the reporter at the senior bowl. Yep.
So that is a John Elway.

Speaker 1 John Elway came himself when he was like this guy does double finger guns. That's my kind of guy.
I just like the John Elway. Yeah, like he was like 6'4.

Speaker 1 This is good. And I also,

Speaker 1 Ryan Pace is doing a big-time future Ryan Pace thing, and I love it. He's basically just keeps trading more, like putting all the chips into right now.
We need our guys right now.

Speaker 1 In three years, future Ryan Pace is going to wake up. If the Bears don't have a Super Bowl, there's going to be a big pile of shit on his doorstep, and I'm okay with it.

Speaker 1 Well, draft picks are really just like a Ponzi scheme. So if you just borrow from the future, you can still fill it up now.
And it's just dawning on me.

Speaker 1 This is how dumb I am personally and how dumb most of the draft analysis that you see out there is.

Speaker 1 The R-words got A's across the board from everybody, but it's just because they picked twice in the first round. Right.
And they picked players.

Speaker 1 We know their names. So it's like, oh, shit, the Redskins dominated the draft.
They got two first-round picks.

Speaker 1 A key to dominating the draft, two first-round picks, and then picking one guy who was a known winner. So if you pick two first-round picks, then Hunter Renfro, A.
And Bryce Love. Yeah, that's a name.

Speaker 1 They got Bryce Love. He was really good.
I saw him in a bunch of those late-night Pac-12 bailout games. Yeah, you know a guy, you're like, oh, okay, well, that guy was good in college.
Perfect. A.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it was, I don't know, the NFL draft, like we said on Thursday's show, they make it too long. By Saturday, it's like, come on, guys.

Speaker 1 We're still in Nashville. It's background noise, still doing this.

Speaker 1 But it's always fun. It also means that football is going to be back soon enough.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about basketball.

Speaker 1 Henry Lockwood.

Speaker 1 Are you all the way in with the Celtics now? Oh, yeah. You are diverted.

Speaker 1 I walked into the office this afternoon, Sunday afternoon, and Hank was actually raising a banner. I was like, what are you doing, dude? He's like 18.

Speaker 1 And that was it. I was like, huh? I mean, they are a team of Destiny now with the whole Havlichek thing.
They did kick the shit out of the Bucks.

Speaker 1 Giannis, Al Horford, Al Horford being like the guy who, like the wily old veteran who can just shut down like young phenoms, is fucking awesome. When did he learn how to jump against?

Speaker 1 He is awesome.

Speaker 1 It's like every May he remembers how to jump. Here's the problem, though, with Al Horford.
Because

Speaker 1 everyone is like an analyst now and the NBA is covered to such an extent on Twitter, Al Horford is going to go in, like, I assume the Hall of Fame because everyone goes in the basketball Hall of Fame as the most overrated, underrated guy.

Speaker 1 Because everyone's like, Al Horford's so underrated. Eventually, we're like, guys, we get it.
He's good. He's good.
He's just good. He's really, really good.
I can tell that Hank's worried.

Speaker 1 You want to know how? Because he was rooting so hard for the Rockets because he does not want to play the Warriors. Yes.

Speaker 1 You were afraid of the Warriors. My Warriors.
You were afraid of the Warriors. Absolutely.
My Warriors. If the Rockets can beat the Warriors, it's wide open.

Speaker 1 I just want to get off a take before it's too late, before I can fully get absorbed into my

Speaker 1 shitheadness. Get it off.

Speaker 1 I was wrong about the Celtics Bucks series. I just want to say that.
I said that there was no chance in hell that the Celtics make it a series and that the Celtics.

Speaker 1 I believe I said the Bucs are head and shoulders above every other team. I'm going to jump off that tick now.

Speaker 1 I'm in like ankle-deep water. Big of you.
And before I get sucked down by the undercurrent of my own shitty ideas, I'd like to say I think the Celtics can beat the Bucs. Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 1 Kyrie, still, when Kyrie is like just on, it's insane. I mean, he finishes anywhere.

Speaker 1 Well, that was a little bit of a tough one. Go ahead, just not not enough.
I'm not going to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's insane. And I think Giannis will, like, this was a really bad game for Giannis, but I do think it will be a good series.
I do not think the Celtics, like Hank, has them sweeping the Bucs.

Speaker 1 No, I never said, I never said any of these things. I will.

Speaker 1 I will say that these playoffs without LeBron have been much more enjoyable because you get to see the other superstars.

Speaker 1 It seems like they're all trying to one-up each other, where it was like, well, Kawhi Kawhi. Kawhi is insane.

Speaker 1 Tatum is 19, right? Yeah. 19-year-old chat.
Kawhi is going to keep. I mean, imagine how good they're going to be when he plays well.
When he turns 20.

Speaker 1 Kawhi is going to keep going off every single game so that people can just keep going, hey, remember Kawhi?

Speaker 1 That's like what these, if the Raptors get to the finals, it will just be the hey, remember Kawhi playoffs. It's like, yeah, we actually do remember.

Speaker 1 He's really fucking good. I don't think he hit the rim in that game.
I think it was

Speaker 1 45 points all on swishes. I want to know what the saber metrics on his shots to rim touches.

Speaker 1 I bet you it's like 0.3, it's 30% of his shots touched rim. Yeah.
He's wet. Wet.
Do you want to know why I'm a Warriors fan? Sure. Hank? Sure.
You're mad at me.

Speaker 1 My dubs. Dubs Nation.
Shout out to Dubs Nation. I don't know who you are anymore.
Okay, here's why. I'm excited to be able to do that.
I've been curious about the bad thing.

Speaker 1 I've been brewing on this. Now, when I say I'm a Warriors fan, I'll be in the middle of the day.
You were cheering. You took your shirt off when they won.
Yeah, I did. And just ran around the office.

Speaker 1 I put my belly button right in your face. It's like, suck that stuff to God.

Speaker 1 I am rooting for the Warriors in a very backwards way, but hear me out. The Warriors, every year, it's been like no one can beat the Warriors, no one can beat the Warriors.

Speaker 1 This year, there finally is a team that can beat the Warriors, and it's the Warriors. So I'm excited to watch the Warriors try to beat the Warriors because this is what happens at the late dynasties.

Speaker 1 Like, the most interesting part of sports to me is greatness. The second most interesting part is when great teams start to fracture and

Speaker 1 get Kobe and Shaq, the 98 Bulls, why everyone always brings up, like, you're always like, why are people talking about the Patriots?

Speaker 1 Because it's interesting to see teams at the end of possible end of runs, like how it all comes apart. And the Warriors, I truly think they all hate each other.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think it's spread completely fair around. Like Kevin Durant, we've already talked about triple.
I blame Clay. All that stuff.
Well, I'll get to Clay.

Speaker 1 Draymond's got to be the most annoying guy in the world to be around every single day for three years. I mean, he's like, the Steve Kerr thing was the perfect example.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm not turning down the music. Steph, no matter what Steph does, he always gets the credit.
He's always number one in everyone's heart. And then Clay, I think Clay is everyone's best friend.

Speaker 1 And Clay's like, like, if you were like, hey, Kevin, who's your best friend? He's like, Clay. Draymond, who's your best friend? Clay.

Speaker 1 And then Clay's like, my best friend's this dude named Paul from Washington State. Like, I don't even like these guys.

Speaker 1 Or would you say that Clay is a coward for not picking sides? Yeah, well, he's tries to make everybody. He's just permahigh, even though I don't even know if he smokes, but he's permaha.

Speaker 1 He could smoke up that goatee of his and get a contact from it. Exactly.
So I think that watching the Warriors try to beat the Warriors is the most fascinating part of these playoffs.

Speaker 1 And I want to see, like, watching End of Dynasties, I love, like, the allure of it. So I am rooting for the Warriors to beat the Warriors.

Speaker 1 And if they lose, then I also win because the Warriors beat them. So would you say that this today was a statement loss for the Warriors, or was it a moral victory? It was a...
Both.

Speaker 1 That's the beauty of it. Yes, they're playing both sides of it.
And I forgot about Boogie. Boogie is definitely the guy who shows up, and everyone's like, this guy's awesome.
And then he

Speaker 1 beats

Speaker 1 a chicken beer pong. He's like, you suck.
You fucking suck. Like, bro, can you just chill out?

Speaker 1 I'm kind of ruining this whole thing. Yeah,

Speaker 1 Hank is very triggered over there by August Wars. So I'm rooting for the Warriors trying to beat the Warriors.
There's no team that can beat the Warriors except the Warriors.

Speaker 1 Dubs Nation, baby. Hank doesn't get it.
Hank is trying to process this.

Speaker 1 It might not make any sense. Which Warriors do you want to win?

Speaker 1 He wants the Warriors to beat the Warriors. He wants to beat the Warriors.

Speaker 1 I want the Warriors to beat the Warriors.

Speaker 1 Which means you want them to fall apart? No, you want them to come together. He wants to fight them.
I want them to fall apart

Speaker 1 because they beat themselves because they're so good at being dickheads that they're able to defeat each other. I kind of want the Warriors to win because I really don't like this.

Speaker 1 This is the first time where it's interesting to me. The last

Speaker 1 couple times they've won, it's like, who cares? They're going to win.

Speaker 1 This is the first time where it's like, this is truly, they have a huge test in whether they can beat themselves. I'm rooting for a trainer.

Speaker 1 I was also really high all weekend, so this could be part of it. Yeah.
Well, it definitely is a major part of it. But you're not wrong.
I think I'm right. Yeah, you're not wrong.
No, it is fun.

Speaker 1 I like to think of what is

Speaker 1 the scenario that

Speaker 1 we're wrong is the year they're most likely to win. No, because the bad Warriors are the best they've ever been.

Speaker 1 The Warriors playing themselves, they are the strongest. The bad chemistry Warriors are the strongest the Bad Chemistry Warriors have ever been.
Do you understand that part? Yes.

Speaker 1 Like, it's going to break up. I also think there's that element, to be totally truthful here.
I don't care if they win this year because they're going to break up no matter what.

Speaker 1 So if it was, if Kevin Durant had like a five-year deal, I'd be like, fuck these Warriors because it's just every year. But I know this is the end.
And I kind of want to watch the end.

Speaker 1 What's the perfect storm for the Warriors to stick around and at least have Kevin Durant and Steph Curry on the team? I think Kevin Durant's gone.

Speaker 1 What could possibly happen that would make Kevin Durant stick around

Speaker 1 if they threw Traymond Green

Speaker 1 on Alcatraz, locked him on Alcatraz for the next two years and said, KD, it's going to be you and Steph.

Speaker 1 I think the only way it would happen is if the Warriors win and they beat the bad chemistry Warriors this year and Steph bends the knee. Yeah.
Okay. Kisses the ring.
Yes. And says, this is your team.

Speaker 1 KD, this is your team. Knights him.
If he gets a tattoo across his back that says,

Speaker 1 this is KD's team. Yeah.
KD's Warriors. Or if KD finds some new app that he wants to invest in, because it is Silicon Valley.
People forget the Warriors play there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they probably circumvent the cap by paying their plays in Bitcoin.

Speaker 1 No, I really do think it's done this year. So it doesn't feel the same as years past where it's like no one can ever beat the Warriors.
Like

Speaker 1 this is the end of the run and rooting for a team that has won at the end of a run feels different.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'm hoping for is that KD, no matter where he goes next year, I want it to be the team that bounced Golden State from this playoff. Yes.
Just so we can get that narrative going.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, Transfer. Next year, you're saying? Oh, no, you want him to join the team with bounces.
I want him to join the Rockets if the Rockets beat the Warriors this year.

Speaker 1 PFT, he could do that if the Warriors beat the Warriors and then he resigns with the Warriors. That's true.
That's very, that's true. He could

Speaker 1 full-blown mad at me. Oh, my God.
Can you imagine KD and

Speaker 1 Chris Paul on the same team? The amount of pettiness that would be going on. Chris Paul, turns out Chris Paul might be the new baby back base.
Okay, you are 100% right. I'm happy you brought that up.

Speaker 1 This is the single worst series that the referees have ever had to deal with. Like, I know people are going to complain about how the game ended and all that shit.

Speaker 1 I will not complain about a single call these refs make, whatever ref crews on there, because I can't think of a worse series. You have Chris Paul literally complaining about every play.

Speaker 1 James Harden is trying to trick the refs on every play. Steph flops like a motherfucker.
Draymond is like, you don't know if he's going to punch a ref. KD, triple B.
Like, it's basically non-stop.

Speaker 1 The refs, what they have to deal with, I'm not going to complain at all about what they say. Mark D'Antoni with the place where his mustache should be that's just totally blank right now.

Speaker 1 Steve Kerr thinks he's better than everyone. Like, he does have a little bit of smugness right now.
Yeah, I think he does. He needs Jordan to step in and punch him in the face again.
Humble him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's got that little bad back, so he can, you know, every now and then be like, oh, my back. Uh-huh.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I agree with you that it is a tough series for the refs, but I also think that it's pretty hilarious to watch them blow obvious calls.

Speaker 1 But they're not even, like, I don't, I can't trust James Harden literally tries to trick them on every

Speaker 1 landing zone thing that we're into now. Yeah, that's true.
James Harden jumps out of the landing zone into other people.

Speaker 1 There's a no-fly zone.

Speaker 1 He's like, he's jumping out of Kuwait the whole time. It just goes right into people.
It's so funny to watch him play. I used to hate James Harden because, yeah, he does try to trick everybody.

Speaker 1 But now it's like, what new stunt is he going to pull now? And he flops so hard. And I love it.
And you know what it is? It's the beard, too.

Speaker 1 When you you see that beard swaying around out there as he's hitting the deck yeah it looks more violent yes it actually it's like RG3 when his limbs go flailing and his braids go like in every single direction after he gets hit one time yeah it looks like a more severe penalty when it's happening to somebody with like big hair that's how Steven Jackson became a great running back he just looked more violent running yeah oh you see a running back get face masked yeah and their their head their hair comes to the front where their face should be you know that's a penalty marion barber yep there you go

Speaker 1 uh but yeah this this this is like the playoffs, the NBA playoffs have now officially started. Like they are fun.
They're must-watch. It did.

Speaker 1 I know this was a tweet that was probably sent 500,000 times this afternoon, but it did feel like a finals game. It did.
This is the finals. They're playing the finals right now.

Speaker 1 This is the real finals right now. This is the real finals.
Just end it right after this. And of course, what we're talking about is the Bucks, Celtics, because Hank's ready to crown them.
Crown them.

Speaker 1 Crown him. Crown their asses.
Crown their asses. One game, Hank.

Speaker 1 Crown Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, crown them, Hank. We're talking 18.
I'd be more afraid of the Rockets than I would be of the Warriors.

Speaker 1 What if you just listen to them? Yeah, the Warriors

Speaker 1 can't beat the Warriors.

Speaker 1 Only the Warriors can beat the Warriors. The Goddard.

Speaker 1 God dang. They're nothing.
That's going to suck when the Celtics end up winning the NBA title, but they have to split it with the Warriors.

Speaker 1 The bad chemistry Warriors who beat themselves.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to some who's back of the week. Hank, why don't you start? My Who's Back of the Week is Vladimir Guerrero.

Speaker 1 Okay, Jr. Way to step on one of our segments.
That's fine. No, no, go ahead.
No, Go off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Vlad Jr., let's hear it. What's your take? He's an MLB.
Everyone's going crazy.

Speaker 1 He got his first hit. He's a fucking beast.
He's a beast. So we had a huge.
MLB. I will say they're kind of overdoing.

Speaker 1 Like, every time he does anything, they're like, Vladimir Grayo, Vladimir Grill, Vladimir Grill.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to, it's going to get, it's not, it's fine now. It's good.
Good to see nostalgia, but I think like halfway through the season, it's going to get a lot of money.

Speaker 1 Are you complaining about Vlad Jr. or Vlad Sr.?

Speaker 1 MLB is overexposing Vlad Sr. No, it's not his fault.
Vlad Sr.

Speaker 1 No, they have cameras on Vlad Sr. So every time Vlad Jr.
does anything, it's like, here's Vlad Sr.'s reaction to this. Are we canceling Vlad Sr.? No, no, this is no.
Vlad Sr. is preemptive.

Speaker 1 This is great. This is not Vlad Sr.'s fault.
This is the MLB's fault.

Speaker 1 Vlad Sr. is just watching.
You can't complain about the MLB not being able to market stars and then going over the top to market a young star. I agree with you.
Vad Sr.

Speaker 1 Move along, Vlad Sr. It's Vlad Jr.'s show.
He's electric.

Speaker 1 We actually had a way to stay relevant in baseball because good job by baseball to have one of the most beloved hitters of all time have a kid and then 20 years later have that kid make baseball relevant.

Speaker 1 That's the one shot in their back. Well, they have two shots.
They have hope that two podcasters eat each other's buttholes. Yeah, that whole run derby.
That's

Speaker 1 play number one. Play number two is just hope that a player that used to be very, very relevant back when you were relevant has a child to make you relevant again.
It's like if Cal Ripken Jr. Jr.

Speaker 1 went on a little streak. Randy Johnson's son.
Better get up here fast. Yeah.
I need him to explode a bird. Is there Ken Griffey Jr.
Jr.? Jr. Jr.
Ken Griffey 3rd?

Speaker 1 I think he might have played football actually.

Speaker 1 Arizona? That's awesome. Damn, football's king.
Yeah. Fuck.
First they lost Kyler Murray. Now Ken Griffey Jr.
Jr. Jr.
Jr.

Speaker 1 Hank, any others? No. Oh, okay.
PFT. Okay.

Speaker 1 My who's back of the week is Jeopardy. Yep.
So Jeopardy's back in a big way. They've got a dominant player right now who I'm very woke on.
His name's James.

Speaker 1 First of of all, he's a professional sports gambler.

Speaker 1 Trey Griffey is a great name for Ken Griffin. Okay,

Speaker 1 I was in the middle of my who's back. Trey.
Trey Griffey is actually a great name. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. That is good.
It's like John named his son Deuce. Yeah, that's the first thing.
That's the second. He's the third.
Fuck. Good job, Ken.

Speaker 1 I was going to get mad at you for interrupting my who's back, but that was a great fact. Thank you, Hank.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. James is the.
Thank you for thinking, Hank. Yes, you're welcome.
James is the dude on Jeopardy right now. He's got like $1.3 million worth of earnings.

Speaker 1 I'm very woke on him because he, he, well, first of all, he is a professional sports gambler. So fuck you, dude, for being good enough at something that I'm so bad at that you can make a living.

Speaker 1 And then also being this smart. So fuck you.
Put one in his earhold to him. Are you a big Jeopardy guy? I love Jeopardy.

Speaker 1 See, here's my problem with Jeopardy. I always think I'm watching a rerun.
Well, so what? Because I just never know. I'm like, these are old facts.
I need to watch it live.

Speaker 1 You got to be in the moment. Right.
I always think, like, did this already have this? Did they play this? Like, what time does it air normally?

Speaker 1 That's the weird thing about Jeopardy is sometimes it airs before wheel of fortune sometimes it airs after depending on what time zone you're in and what state you're in i always turn on jeopardy i'm like wait this probably this probably aired initially at 4 30 and now they're playing it at 7 and what's going on if you don't watch every episode you're lost right catching up to exactly i've lost the plot line of jeopardy but but i love i love this dude james i think that he's cheating number one uh but i liked i anytime jeopardy has like a dominant player like that

Speaker 1 it's good for the game yep i think jeopardy is probably goosing his buzzer speed because you he's really, really quick on the thumb.

Speaker 1 You can see if you watch him, he's going up against other good competitors who are trying to buzz in the whole time, but they don't have the timing of the buzzer down right.

Speaker 1 I think the buzzer on the left is faster than the other ones because it's in the best interest of Jeopardy to have a dominant star. They need a king.

Speaker 1 They need a king because now people are tuning in, even though they've paid him like $1.3 million.

Speaker 1 It's worth it for the ratings for Jeopardy. Ken Jennings versus this guy? Well, Ken said, Ken bent the knee already to him.
Fuck. Ken said that.
You pussy. He said that James would kick his ass.

Speaker 1 Ah, man, Ken.

Speaker 1 We need it. Ken versus him.
Special Jeopardy. Yeah.
Throw an Arthur True there, too.

Speaker 1 Just for the ratings. Isn't that problematic? He was canceled.
I'm pretty sure he canceled it. Hey, you got to stay up to date on your cancellation hat.
Don't bring up a canceled guy.

Speaker 1 I feel like everyone gets canceled. Well, that's the point.
We're going to all cancel each other until we're the army of the dead. Is that maybe that's the why? And I'm okay with that.

Speaker 1 I'm on the record being fine with being a zombie army. You don't have a lot to worry about when you're literally dead.

Speaker 1 How sick would that be if they just raised all the canceled people and they wore their

Speaker 1 super problematic tweets on their chest? Their shame. Just a bunch of people

Speaker 1 around with racial slurs and they're just walking around like, uh, we're back. Yeah, Night King Michael Richards.

Speaker 1 No, Night King Justine. Has she landed yet? She raises them all up.

Speaker 1 She's flying around on the dead dragon.

Speaker 1 Never landing, so never getting canceled. Oh, man.
We should write that little play. Write that down.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, that's my who's back of the week. Okay, my who's back is Coachella.
Back again. They're doing it again.

Speaker 1 They were so good last week, they did it again this week. Do they go home for work during the week or do they just go? I don't know.
What are you looking at me like that, Hank? It's back.

Speaker 1 It's going on again. I saw the Ferris wheel.
People took pictures in front of the Ferris wheel. I think I had a little thought.
We should go next year. Yeah, well, here's, no.
That's

Speaker 1 it. I got a better thought for you.
Hank received for that big time. We will cancel Coachella by our presence.

Speaker 1 High thought, we should create our own festival because there's a million festivals now. This is like festivals have come back.
You know what I mean? Like, Woodstock 50, I think, is this year.

Speaker 1 I'm into creating my own very luxurious music festival. Right.
Maybe on Remote Island. No, here's the thing is we don't even have black cards.
We don't even review coaches and call it Coachella. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Now that was a good idea. That's really good.
Fuck. But we should do it and not even like pretend that we're going to do it.
It's just a poster because that's all it really is at this point.

Speaker 1 It's like the poster comes out. Everyone says that's a good festival or a bad festival.
And then they move on. And And like, then you'll see a couple people on Instagram.

Speaker 1 But let's just create festival posters and get the buzz. Okay, so it needs to we need to have a poster.
I feel like we need to release a bunch of

Speaker 1 people, people go to these festivals for the Instagram pictures.

Speaker 1 I just searched Coachella on Twitter, and

Speaker 1 the first article says, Report, Coachella attendees suffer massive herpes outbreak.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 We need a name.

Speaker 1 I wrote down some names.

Speaker 1 But here's the thing: we need, do people people still buy t-shirts from festivals? We need wristbands.

Speaker 1 We sell t-shirts, wristbands, and release a bunch of backdrops so people can take their own picture in front of a green screen or whatever, and then that's where they are.

Speaker 1 It was an awesome time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so here are a couple names I'm going to throw out there.

Speaker 1 Happy Life. Okay.
Happy Life Festival. Broken Wheel.

Speaker 1 That sounds like maybe Southwest. Broken Spoke.
Daenerys. This is a nice bar.
Daenerys? Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 Time Warp. Time Warp.
Okay. Time Warp sounds good.

Speaker 1 Time Warp into the Future or Into the Past. You both.
You decide.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sound Zoo.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, Sound Zoo.
That's got to exist already.

Speaker 1 I think there's an Electric Zoo? Yep. So Sound Zoo is something that's totally different.

Speaker 1 Life happens.

Speaker 1 You just show up and life happens.

Speaker 1 It's as literal as you can get. That is a very Zen.
I like that. Life Happens.
And then my other one was just loud noises. Okay.

Speaker 1 And it could actually just be a festival about Anchorman and Trey Wingo's the MC. He's just getting up on stage and making references? Yeah.
Was that Anchorman? Yeah, Loud Noises.

Speaker 1 Loud Noises, but definitely. That was Brooke Tamlin.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think we could get this, though. I feel like it's not.
We're not doing the fire. We're not trying to make money.
We're not trying to defraud anyone. We're literally just trying to get viral buzz.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm all in. Yeah.
How about

Speaker 1 influenza? I like that. So it's like flu.
It'll go viral for influencers. Yes.
I like that. I like that.
I also just wrote one down, The Epic. Okay, the Epic.
All right.

Speaker 1 The Epic kind of is out, though. I feel like that was a few years ago.

Speaker 1 You know, the more I think about it, the NFL draft is just Coachella for divorced dads. We should go to the NFL draft next year and treat it like Coachella.
Just take a shitload of drugs and dress in

Speaker 1 somewhat problematic Native American garb. Okay.
And

Speaker 1 we can actually call it Coachella. Yeah, right.
We're here. It's fucking sick.
That's a good idea. Yeah.
Yeah. This is great.
All right. So

Speaker 1 I'm going to see you guys at Coachella next year. Yeah.
I knew we'd get through. Where is the draft next year?

Speaker 1 Nashville again. They like to do these things in two-year spurts, I think.
That's true. I don't know.
Two-year contracts. They do the KD.
Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be great. Mystery, Alaska.
Where is it, Hank? Give it to us. Stats department.
Give it to me, Raw.

Speaker 1 And Hank's stats department is broken.

Speaker 1 Hank's stats department is

Speaker 1 still broken. Dominate Hank's stats department real quick.
Get him here. Get him, PFT.

Speaker 1 Take him down. Take him down.

Speaker 1 He's getting crushed. Las Vegas.
Oh, that was easy. This is going to be the sickest festival of all time.
That was easy. Yeah.
Fuck yeah. Coachella.
In Las Vegas. In Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 And it's just us getting

Speaker 1 obnoxiously fucked up on weird drugs at the NFL draft. Can't relate.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get to our interview with Christian Yelch, NLMVP.
Now, we did this interview on Thursday. Seems like he tweaked his back today, PFT.
Yeah, listen. Las Las Vegas.
Oh,

Speaker 1 thank you. Confirmed.
I am not happy about it, but I'm not happy about it.

Speaker 1 We don't root for injuries, especially for our friends. Nope.
Christian is a friend.

Speaker 1 You'll hear it in the interview. It sucks ass what a nice person he is.
It sucks.

Speaker 1 I really wish he was a dickhead because I would feel a lot better about really going after him. Right.
But he's a very, very nice human being.

Speaker 1 Great guy. I'm not happy that he tweaked his back.
It was his lower back, right? Yeah. So it could have been his ass.
Yeah. Your ass is just as low as you can go on your back.

Speaker 1 We also had Travis Shaw on in the room. I'm pretty sure Christian just brought Travis Shaw to make sure that Christian didn't drink any of our drinks.

Speaker 1 That's smart and to chew gum. Yeah, he came here to do smoke.
Did we get that out of the audio? Chew gum. Okay, good.
There we go. So you won't even hear it, but he was chewing gum.

Speaker 1 Chew gum and hit dingers, and I'm all out of Travis Shaw's gum. All right, here we go.
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Okay, here he is, NLMVP Christian Yelich.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on Milwaukee Brewers superstar Travis Shaw and the runner-up to the 2018 NLMVP race, Christian Yelich. What was it like when he lost? Because Javi Buyers was a great feeling.

Speaker 1 Honestly, one of the best days of my life. All right.
I don't even know how to start this. I'll start.
Yeah. Fuck you.
Yeah, there we go. So, Christian Yelch is back on the show.

Speaker 1 Travis, we need you to help

Speaker 1 be like, I don't know, like an unbiased party.

Speaker 1 You know, basically just be a mediator to decide this. Travis on my side.
First, I wanted to see if you wanted anything to drink, Christian. I'm good.
Yeah, I'm properly hydrated.

Speaker 1 Make sure there's no caffeine in there.

Speaker 1 Get some caffeine. There's nothing in it.
You saw me.

Speaker 1 You saw me undo the cap, so you're fine.

Speaker 1 No. So Christian is here and Travis.
They're playing the Mets this weekend. We're probably going to run this on Monday.
Where do we want to start? Wherever you want.

Speaker 1 About your friendship, how close you guys have gotten over the last

Speaker 1 week or so.

Speaker 1 Let's start with this.

Speaker 1 Last time we had you on was the all-star game. Yeah.
You hit a home run in the all-star game.

Speaker 1 Since then, you've hit a billion home runs. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 Are you in the zone?

Speaker 1 No, honestly, I just went to the cage after the first, the first day back from the all-star break, and I just like, I'm going to stand a little bit taller, and we'll just see what happens.

Speaker 1 That's what I used to hit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm telling you exactly what happened. So

Speaker 1 in high school, I used to stand like pretty tall in my stance.

Speaker 1 And then I kind of got away from that in Pro Ball, whatever. And then I was not feeling the greatest at the plate going into the all-star break.
I didn't hit or anything at the all-star.

Speaker 1 I didn't hit BP either day, home run derby day or All-Star game day. And then I took like 15 flips in the cage before I went in the game just to not blow out, just to get a little bit loose.

Speaker 1 And then that's all I did. Hit a homer in the game, went back to Milwaukee, first day back, second half.
I'm going to stay a little taller in the cage. Let's see what happens.
Cool things after that.

Speaker 1 38 home runs since then. It's like I was looking at the numbers.
Travis still tell you. You'd hit like 60 home runs if it was on pace for a full season.
You hit you have 13 this year so far? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All at home. Got to mention that.
Travis, has he become a diva ever since he won the MVP? Not too bad.

Speaker 1 See? That's

Speaker 1 my friend. Travis, my friend.
Yeah. Okay.
That's why. They say you start to see the ball a little bit bigger.

Speaker 1 I've started to be seeing, like, Big Cat's ass has looked a little bit bigger to me when you've been on this streak. Is that true that you see, like, the ball looks like a beach ball coming in? No.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 you know, beauty's in the eye of the beholder, man.

Speaker 1 Is it wild, though, to have, like, people are actually talking about the Barry Bonds treatment with you now? Yeah. Is that crazy?

Speaker 1 A little bit. Yeah, a little.
But it hasn't gotten. I mean, no one's ever going to do what Barry did in this game.

Speaker 1 That was unbelievable things he was doing. I haven't.

Speaker 1 You got to start wrapping up with all sorts of armor around your shoulder. Get basically shoulder pads, like a full football uniform doing the star things.
Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 I read an article that

Speaker 1 someone wrote an article that basically was like, Christian Yelich was a fringe Hall of Famer, and then in the last 400 plate appearances, he's become a sure no-doubter Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 No, we got a long time. That literally, I read that article.
You read that article. No, I haven't seen that article.
You saw that article?

Speaker 1 He probably printed it out and passed it out to the whole big club about it.

Speaker 1 He brought a long way to go before we even start talking about it.

Speaker 1 I haven't done anything.

Speaker 1 Travis, I got a question for you. Last year, obviously, you guys win game 163 against the Cubs at Wrigley Field.

Speaker 1 Do you think it was kind of cheap because the Cubs had played so much playoff baseball and they were really tired?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 1 Okay. How was that? Was that a good day for you, too?

Speaker 1 I think it was a good day.

Speaker 1 I had a great time that day. That was a really fun time.
Did you win the title? Was it actually, you can go ahead. Gloat because I talked shit at All-Star Break last year.
You did.

Speaker 1 I was playing a lot.

Speaker 1 Was it awesome to be able to celebrate on Wrigley Field game 163? Yes. Does that get Wrigley Field 163 in front of Cubs fans who don't really like us too much? Nope.
Yeah. At all.

Speaker 1 Like, not even a little bit. No, the rivalry is on.
I think I said the rivalry wasn't on in the All-Star Break.

Speaker 1 No, it is now.

Speaker 1 Well, Cole Hamill's kind of backed us into a rivalry, because when you say there is no rivalry, that's a rivalry. I think it also depends on the fact that, like, you guys, you guys beat them.

Speaker 1 Was it technically the playoffs or not? Because we had a big argument about this. Game 163, is that? Well, it doesn't count.
That's not.

Speaker 1 It doesn't count as a playoff game, but it sure as hell felt like a playoffs game. Yeah, so technically it counts as a regular season game.
It's the next game that...

Speaker 1 Right, but 163, it meant something, though. Right, yeah.

Speaker 1 The argument we had, though, was the, it's stupid with Karabas, who you guys obviously know, but like he thinks that the wildcard game is not the playoffs. I don't think it is either.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about?

Speaker 4 It's one game.

Speaker 1 But you still are in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 If you win all the games from that, it's like a play-in game to get in the playoffs. But that's the playoffs.
You're in the pussy. You go home.

Speaker 1 See, the thing about that is, though, is like we both had the two best records in the National League. Yep.

Speaker 1 Two days before that, and then a day after that, one team was gone, and they're not even in the playoffs at all.

Speaker 1 That's kind of where you got got a raw deal. Like, we would feel the same way if we lost 163, lost a wildcard game.
Like, man, this sucks. We went into it.

Speaker 1 When we played 163, like, we got two chances to get into the actual thing. Like, if we win this game or we win the next game.
Yeah. I blacked out that entire postseason.
Did you guys lose in seven to?

Speaker 1 Seven, yeah. How was game seven like? It was awesome before, and then afterwards, it sucked.
But I mean, game seven is for real, man.

Speaker 1 Like, that is, there is a lot of emotions going on before that game, during that game. You want to talk about feeling all kinds of like living.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go play a game seven in front of 50,000 people that you know everybody's watching. Where if this, if you do something to win this game, they're going to build a statue for you.

Speaker 1 If you lose something, do something to lose this game. Like, you're not even going to be allowed back in the state ever again in your life.
Do you still get nervous before those games? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Everybody does. What was the energy? Was the energy higher for game seven in the NLCS or when the Cubs fans take over Miller Park in game 82 in 82.
We don't mind.

Speaker 1 I mean, honestly, we don't mind that because it's fun. I mean, if we win, the Cubs fans made that whole trip up there just to watch them lose.
It's an hour and 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to go anyways. It's so easy.
I mean, I don't really blame them. It's a roof.
It's nicer.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 That's cool.

Speaker 1 You should actually say that Duanazzie Guin. Be like, there's rats in Wrigley.

Speaker 1 No, actually, Wrigley got the visiting clubhouse, everything got a lot nicer.

Speaker 1 I was hoping they never would change it, and it would just be like the shitty old clubhouse for the visitors, and then the home team gets a the nice one. Oh it still was last year was

Speaker 1 and they just changed it. This is the first year so we haven't been back there this year so we haven't seen it but last year it was like yeah it's the same one.
It's like this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No it's about this big. Dan Heron said that you literally would just have to all shout like everyone would just shower like basically shoulder.
It's like this. It really is like this wide

Speaker 1 for real.

Speaker 1 I like that though. They should definitely keep it that way.

Speaker 1 What's the motivation to make it nice for your opponent? I don't think you have to like probably make it somewhat even. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to have a lot of stuff.

Speaker 4 You have to make an improvement to your stadium one way way every single year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to make sure the water doesn't have chemicals in it and shit. That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, so like two years ago,

Speaker 1 last year was the dugout because they made the dugouts better.

Speaker 4 And then this year is the locker room.

Speaker 1 It wasn't just not good for the visiting team. The visiting clubhouse staff, everybody that had to be in there, it was just making life difficult on them.

Speaker 1 I mean, I know it's an advantage for the visiting team, but even Cubs personnel that had to work there, it's just yeah,

Speaker 1 I've been in the grounds through like locker room and that was a closet. Yeah.
It's a cool. I really like playing there though, just because, yeah, yeah, it is really feeling.

Speaker 1 It's fun. Like, it's a good time.
It's a good atmosphere when our two teams play each other because the two fan bases hate each other. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
The two teams, we really don't.

Speaker 1 There's not really.

Speaker 1 Who do you hate on the Cubs? No, we don't really hate it. That's the thing.
We don't really hate it.

Speaker 1 Let's get the rivalry going. You don't like Rizzo, do you? No, Rizzo's awesome.
Fuck. I know he is.
He's fucking awesome. Yeah, Rizz is awesome.
Damn. KB is cool, man.

Speaker 1 No one could say anything bad. Schwerberg's the best.

Speaker 1 You don't like Javi because he won that MVP over you.

Speaker 1 Interesting. That's a unique way to look at it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, trick up. Drink up.
There's nothing in my house that says otherwise. You're all skin and bones.
Look at that. Or you can just drink this water that we made for you.
Yeah, it's good.

Speaker 1 I made sure me and Travis got properly hydrated before we came over here.

Speaker 1 Travis, the fact that you guys are 13 and 13 and he's got 13 home runs, is your record any indication of the fact that he's killing too many rallies?

Speaker 1 No, that's the only way we score.

Speaker 1 If we don't homer, we don't score. Are you guys at the point now where you're like expecting Christian to hit a home run basically every time?

Speaker 1 I mean, that stretch where you had a week where it was like, I feel like every time I went on Twitter, you hit a home run.

Speaker 1 What is it like for the teammates when a guy gets hot like that?

Speaker 4 As soon as he starts to swing, you think it's going to be a home run.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, literally every time.

Speaker 1 It was a fun week for sure. Yeah.
For everyone. One week.
Anyone can have a hot week.

Speaker 1 I like the fact that you're doing all this damage against the Cardinals because it does play mind games with Big Cat because he hates the Cardinals more.

Speaker 1 But it's like the enema of my enema is my friend in this case. I know what you're in there.
In your case. Yeah, in my case, in both your cases.
Exactly. Absolutely.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 It's a tough situation for everybody. Do you actually think we would slip steroids into your drink? I mean, you know, it's a high-stakes game right now for everybody involved.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Let's just pretend it's not even taping right now. I would like to think no.
Because I would. No, I would.
Yeah, the answer is yes. Yes.
I actually have a deal.

Speaker 1 I got a deal for you. I've been thinking about this a lot.
How about I will take all the money that I have right now in my Cash App account? So it's like $250.

Speaker 1 And and I will donate it to the ASPCA if you agree not to participate in the home run derby. You know, here's the thing is like, you want to kill dogs? No, it's what the people want at this point.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't even know if I wanted to do it at this time. Wait, I feel like I don't even have, like, I don't even know, like.
Are you declaring that you're in it? No, because I haven't been invited.

Speaker 1 See, the thing is, I'd have to make the all-star team. I'd have to.
Probably not going to happen. I'd have to...
go there and be a part of it.

Speaker 1 And then it just depends how you're feeling at the time, like body-wise, health-wise. And usually it would probably be something that I'm like,

Speaker 1 I don't know if I want to do it, but I feel like if I get invited to do it, I almost have to at this point. You know what I mean? You saw it at the same time.
People

Speaker 1 want it.

Speaker 1 What the people want, you got to give them. You can really do it.
I feel like this is what the people want. No, because I do it every day in BP.
No matter what, you'd ask Travis.

Speaker 1 That's just a normal day. Do you mainly try to hit home runs? Yeah, that's just a normal day for me.

Speaker 4 His BP pitcher just throws him cutters, so he just hits homers every pitch.

Speaker 1 No, but it can ruin it. First of all,

Speaker 1 first of all, if you keep going at this pace, you're going to ruin your swing anyways. You're going to just get too tired by the all-star break.
That's just what, that's like my regular.

Speaker 1 That's what I was trying to tell you guys at the thing. It's just a regular BP routine.

Speaker 1 So, like, that is not even.

Speaker 1 Some guys say that rooms are swinging because they're just trying to hit homers, but like,

Speaker 1 that's a Tuesday afternoon at 3:30 for me. Once you get the juices going, though, there's going to be so much adrenaline if you make it.
Well, see, here's the final round. It's a lot of swings.

Speaker 1 You're going to pull something. Yeah, it's a lot of swings, man.

Speaker 1 I don't even think it's about if I win or lose. I think, you know, you guys are just.

Speaker 1 You just want to make a sweat? You're going to be having a tough night, regardless, until either I'm eliminated from that thing.

Speaker 1 What can we do to maybe change? I don't think anyone wants to see me and PFT eat each other's asses, right? I mean, I think that's not

Speaker 1 going to tell you not to do that.

Speaker 1 There's ways out of it for sure. Yeah.
I just don't. I haven't really.
What's your charity? We can just give a shitload of money to your chicken. Can we buy our way out of this?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like right now, since you're not accepting my offer, you're killing puppies. Yeah.
You understand that if you participate. The puppies will be fine.
You're murdering dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay, the fans would donate like an office. Here's a question.
I'm sure we could find somebody out there who'd donate $250.

Speaker 1 As someone who's been on the internet eating ass yourself,

Speaker 1 do you have any tips?

Speaker 1 If PFD and I cut a little piece of our ass off and put it in a snow. Dude, see, that was a phenomenal.

Speaker 1 That's one of my all-time favorite texts I think I've ever gotten from anybody in my entire life was that you guys actually had a conversation about this. What did I say to you?

Speaker 1 It's on you, though, because I didn't tell you to make that bet. I didn't bet you guys.
You volunteered that and told me that I wouldn't. I didn't even want to do that.
I didn't even want to do this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think that your brain would have gone there. It's just like when we start talking, sometimes we don't stop talking fast enough and we get to these weird places

Speaker 1 where we make promises

Speaker 1 that really get ourselves literally in a hole. Yeah.
So this is going to be

Speaker 1 a fairly deep one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty. Well, as deep as his belly button.
I texted Chris. I said, PFD and I had a real conversation about cutting skin off our asses and eating it to avoid the alternative.

Speaker 1 It was shockingly serious.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we did. We literally sat there and were like, okay, what if we just become cannibals?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know if I don't, that's the thing. I was like, I don't know if anybody really wants to see that.
I don't even want to see that. I think people would watch.

Speaker 1 I think that nobody would enjoy it. Orange vanilla coat.
I think they would watch. Yeah, trick out.

Speaker 1 How many steroids do you got over there, man? We had a lot of steroids, so we had to make sure that they all get in everything. I have a serious question.

Speaker 1 If you were a free agent right now, how much money do you think you would fetch on the open market?

Speaker 1 I have no idea. Probably more more than I'm making right now.

Speaker 1 When are you a free agent? Three years. Yeah, do you regret signing the contract so early? No, because at the time it was the right decision.

Speaker 1 If I obviously knew that I was going to go on and do what I did in my career, I wouldn't have done that. But at the time, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 it was the right decision for sure. And I got to live with it.
How much? How would probably make like, what, $350, $37? Mike Trout?

Speaker 1 Mike Trout money? Depends how the rest of the year went. No.
Not Mike Trout money, no. If you were in a mall, would people recognize your face? Because that's really the barometer of that.

Speaker 1 Who was it that said that? Was that Buster Only, something like that? Yeah, it depends where we go, but yeah. Yeah.
You have a more recognizable face because of that video of

Speaker 1 this stuff. If Mike Trout had been taped online, you know, taking a facial or something like that, everybody would know what he looked like.
Yeah, I mean, I've had some more

Speaker 1 interesting things happen to me, maybe. How much credit do you give us for motivating you?

Speaker 1 Because it literally is all-starter break, we talk, we have a great interview, we say this stuff, then 400-plate appearance after that.

Speaker 1 You hit 38 home runs and go win the NL MVP, go off on a tear this year. I think things escalated fairly quickly for all involved in this matter.
For you two, for myself. You know what? Life got crazy.

Speaker 1 Now that I'm thinking about it, now that I'm thinking about it. Life comes at you fast.
It does. And now that I'm thinking about it, I think that we should legally be able to be out of this bet.

Speaker 1 And PFT, your lawyer, he changed his stance.

Speaker 1 He's changed his stance. That's not fair.

Speaker 1 You're right. It's kind of false advertising.
No, no, no, no. We were talking about pre-A-Star game stance.
Yeah, I thought that you stood like 6'1, 6'2 in the box.

Speaker 1 Now you're looking like you're standing 6'3. Bullshit.
Yeah, I always, that was, I told you, this is all about BP. Like, this never had anything to do with anything that ever happened in the games.

Speaker 1 We were never even talking about the games. Remember, we were talking about, hey, like BP, and you're like, nah, bullshit.
And I was like, well, no.

Speaker 1 Have you ever considered batting right-handed? It's horrendous.

Speaker 1 You throw right-handed. Yeah.
I wish you could see what it looks like. I wish I could too.
You should probably do it. It's terrible.
I wouldn't even be able to make contact with it right-handed.

Speaker 1 Serious question. What is going on with the splits? You've not hit a home run on the road.
You've hit 13 at home. I'm going to keep bringing this up.
What is going on? Yeah,

Speaker 1 nine games into the season on the road or something. That's what's going on.
That's a pretty big sample size. Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 I've always actually been a pretty better road player than home player in my career, actually, which is just baseball is a weird sport. One weird baseball stat.
It looks a little fussy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, is it weird or is it the fact that you guys don't have the walkie-talkie system set up on the road where you can call in every pitch that you're seeing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, everyone thinks that we're, I mean, it's a little suspicious.

Speaker 1 There are teams that think that we're very sad. There's teams that do think we do that.
Two barrels, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Keeping the balls in a humidifier or something like that.

Speaker 1 I thought it was just that you really enjoy the slide. I love Bernie's slide.
They shoot fireworks off after homer's at home, too. It's cool, man.
That's pretty dangerous.

Speaker 1 Which one do you like more, the slide or the old center field thing out in the Marlin Stadium with the fish that just jump out of the RIP? Yeah, it's gone. But which one do you like? I took it out.

Speaker 1 Did you like that one better or do you like the slide? I like the slide. Have you made amends with Derek Jeter? I have never spoken to him.

Speaker 1 Still? He didn't never. I mean, he hasn't really.
He just traded you without speaking to you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But we don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he doesn't have to talk to me or anything like that. But we never had a conversation.
Are you using what's more motivation, us or Derek Jeter? Oh, definitely you guys. Fuck.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Travis, I got a question for you. You played in obviously the AL and the NL.
Toughest pitcher that you've had to face.

Speaker 1 Chapman. Ooh.
Okay. Throwing that 99 gas, 101.
Yep. I believe that.
Left on left. Yes.
Yes. What about you?

Speaker 1 Actually, Clayton Richard.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Did not expect that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, did not expect Christmas

Speaker 1 baseball.

Speaker 1 What's the point? Like, how do you get Christian Yellich out?

Speaker 1 Like, what's your biggest weakness, you would say?

Speaker 1 I mean, honestly, when I feel good up there,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I feel like I can.
There's got to be something that you like still you can hopefully for me.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's always in my control where if I don't feel great That's when I tend to struggle but if I get myself to where I'm supposed to feel like the feel that I want I feel like I like my channel what keeps you from feeling great like not enough sleep no it's just a baseball thing man it's hard to explain it's really really hard to explain like phone calls in the middle of the night like that would fuck you up do you have routines where you do the same thing every day not really nah I'm just I'm pretty laid-back go with the flow I mean I do certainly this is the bullshit about it okay you're too likable like you actually I like you and then you do this stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And it's like, no, you need to become a villain. Get everyone to stop being.

Speaker 1 I might be here in July. No, just toss.
You would actually be everybody's here. The tough part about this bet that we've talked about.
People are on my side.

Speaker 1 Is that literally everybody's on your side, and nobody is rooting for me and Big Cat to nod each other's butts. I know, but you guys aren't technically in the hot seat yet.
Like,

Speaker 1 if it actually, I have to enter it first.

Speaker 1 Things have to happen. Are you worried about an injury, possibly? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd be five.

Speaker 1 What about a steroid? What about a fist test? Steroid scandal. Just whispers.
I just hope you get caught up in steroids. Everyone would blame us.
Oh, that's so messed up. That's fucking hilarious.

Speaker 1 That's so messed up. Hilarious.
You know, actually, the worst possible scenario for us would be if you won the home run derby, we went through with a bet, and then you got busted.

Speaker 1 So I hope that that doesn't happen.

Speaker 1 I would say you're probably in the clear. You are like a beanball.
Yeah. 194 pounds.
Yes. So yeah, you're good on that.

Speaker 1 I have a theory that the radar guns at these stadiums are skewed so that it looks like people are pitching faster these days. These things are dead on, man.
They guys are throwing so hard these days.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. Because I've seen like when Chapman used to throw, it would be like every pitch, 102, 103 miles an hour.
And I was like, there's no chance that's real.

Speaker 1 It's real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's coming in hot. Can you tell the difference between a 101 mile an hour fastball and a 99 mile an hour fastball? Not really.
There's a point where it all be it just all becomes the same.

Speaker 1 What's harder to hit? Like 101 pretty straight or some nasty movement in the high 80s?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like that's the thing.

Speaker 1 I mean, it just depends. Chapman's a good thing when he's got the gas, but it's the movement that really does it to you.
That's the thing. I wish people in baseball, like...

Speaker 1 Like, I wish you guys could do it yourself. Like, see that yourself and then make the decision because it's just different for every pitcher's different.

Speaker 1 Like, some guys see the guy that throws 102 really well, and then the guy that throws 89, 90 is deceptive, and his ball moves really late, and he's the tougher guy to hit. But it's just all relative.

Speaker 1 And I might say one guy, and you might say the other guy right it's just that everybody sees people differently Clayton Richard might be able to get you out who's the most deceptive guy like they're actually let me ask this way whose uh like windup kind of screws you up timing wise the most

Speaker 1 Jansen yeah I was gonna say Kenny Jansen type guy yeah yeah

Speaker 1 he's just so big too like even when he's coming forward his legs are so long that he just takes

Speaker 1 he lets the ball go so far out front like he's letting that thing go like in the grass so it really just it's it's a combination of all the above. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's just, yeah, it's weird how it's hard to explain it until you've actually been in there because then you can be like, oh, I see where you're coming from. Or like, I relate.

Speaker 1 I don't see this guy good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like I'm like one for 20 off Quintana.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He doesn't back.

Speaker 4 I don't get the play.

Speaker 1 He always pitches really well against us. Yeah, he's back.
If it's the eighth inning of a blowout, which one of you guys would step into pitch first?

Speaker 1 Yeah, him. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, he can't throw.
Do you ever practice? That would send me out there, yeah. Do you ever practice just like fucking around if I have to step up?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, we do it all the time.

Speaker 1 Everybody does that. You can get on the gun right now? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Probably like 85.

Speaker 1 What about you?

Speaker 1 Not even that. Weak arm.
I knew that. That's about you.
He's Thorney Jump. I have a great arm.

Speaker 1 See, look, the thing is, it's way harder to hit 90 miles an hour on the mountain than people think.

Speaker 1 Like, guys, even position players that have really good arms, it's just hard to do it for some reason. Right.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you could probably, I could probably hit 90 across the infield, but I don't think I could hit 90 off the mound.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. That's got to be a good thing.
If you did, you just wouldn't be able to lift your arm up either.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 When you guys face you, Darvish, are you just like, I'll just wait it out because you'll just throw balls? Honestly, we've only faced him one time since he's been a Cub. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, because he just doesn't pitch. That's right.
Yeah. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Do you guys have any weird shit in your contracts?

Speaker 4 Best walkout song in the big league, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What is he doing? What is his walkout song right now? Soldier Boy.
Oh, that's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Tell him. That is sick.
And the whole crowd sings it, too. That is sick.
I mean, he literally has only played like a song. Yeah, it is cool, though.

Speaker 1 The song he comes out to the pitch is like, yeah, it's definitely

Speaker 1 the stars align like that and you've just got a song with your name in it, you have to roll with it. I feel like you do, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Would you guys ever have, or do you have any weird shit in your contract that say that you're not allowed to play basketball or you're not allowed to do it? Yeah, I have all that stuff. You do?

Speaker 1 What aren't you allowed to do? Everything. So why'd you play this last night?

Speaker 1 Basketball? Well, basketball. See, here's the thing.
It's not that you can't do it. It's like if you get hurt doing it, that's when it becomes like an issue.
So you can do whatever you want.

Speaker 1 Like you can go skydiving. If you land, everything's cool.

Speaker 1 But if God, they're not going to pull you you out right basically addicted to skydiving no i've never been i'm just using that as an example got it got it interesting interesting i have a a question about this uh this stupid fucking story that went viral because you're such a nice guy uh the kids that came to the game and they said if you hit a home run christian our dad will get a puppy yeah and then they got a puppy

Speaker 1 and you you brought it to him yeah um what happens if you get traded What do you mean? You're going to fucking break those little girls' hearts.

Speaker 1 You named the puppy after you, you narcissistic asshole. I didn't name it the other day.

Speaker 1 They named it, they named it. They named it.
So what happens? Yeah, what happens if you get busted for steroid and they're like, hey, little Susie and Kim,

Speaker 1 just so you know, your dog's named after a steroid guy. Uh-huh.
That would be tough. I mean, this guy wants to have that so bad.
I don't understand.

Speaker 1 So what would answer the question? It's a great dog. It is a cute dog.
But did you think it was kind of bullshit? Like, you knew you were going to go viral with the home runs and dogs.

Speaker 1 You didn't want to add bacon to that mix and just pander to the entire internet? Well, I actually, here's the thing. I saw the sign before the game, and then I completely forgot about it.

Speaker 1 And then I hit a homer, and Moose was like, hey, man, that's really tight. I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, you just want someone a puppy.
I was like, oh, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 1 And then I kind of like, oh, yeah, that's cool. I don't know if they're ever going to get the dog.

Speaker 1 And then like the brewers came to me afterwards and they were like, hey, listen, like, they're really getting this dog and they would like you to give it to the kids.

Speaker 1 And they're going to bring in the dog at like four. And the dog's actually going to be a service dog because one of the girls is diabetic.

Speaker 1 One one of the girls is diabetic so it's gonna be able to like tell her uh it's gonna be the six-year-old's gonna be able to tell her uh her blood sugar insulin's

Speaker 1 so it's a dog's gonna save lives yeah

Speaker 1 basically so you you save the dog's life that's gonna save other lives you saved the girls life starting the dog's life yeah you're paying it forward yeah you're the worst have you ever made a promise about home runs that you haven't fulfilled like when babe ruth was like i'll hit two for you no like you don't hear about the ones that don't come true true that's true yeah i don't i don't think i've ever done that though where i've been like i'm gonna hit a home run for you tonight and then i don't do it because i just usually don't ever say that.

Speaker 1 I just happened to see the sign. Now there's a lot of signs like that in Miller Park.
Yeah, there's a lot of signs.

Speaker 1 Now there's going to be, you know what? That's the spin zone.

Speaker 1 There's probably a bunch of strays out there now because people are getting puppies because he's hitting home runs and they're not ready for a dog and the dog barks and they're like, fuck it, let's leave it in a trash can.

Speaker 1 That's on you, buddy. That's not on me, man.

Speaker 1 I didn't leave it out. Stop hitting home runs.
And maybe these puppies won't get adopted by families that can't own dogs. Yeah, you thirsty by any chance? You hungry? Yeah, I'll need some sprites.

Speaker 1 No problem. I need to take care of this for sure.
Which one do you want? Dr. Pepper, Sprite Lime.
Let me get that orange vanilla coat. Yeah, orange vanilla.
I'm a big fan of this one. Yeah.
Come on.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to name a hypothetical dog that's in a shelter right now, in an ASPA shelter. Its name is now Chrissy.
It's named after you. It's a girl dog.

Speaker 1 And I will personally pay to have somebody adopt Chrissy if you bow out of the home run contest. I'm not even in it yet, though.
But you're going to be in it. Don't you?

Speaker 1 I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. This fake humility, this fake humility stuff.
How much do we have have to pay

Speaker 1 my gears how much do we have to pay you to not be in it for real like let's just let's you know what turn off the mics hank let's get down to brass packs we're not recording what do we have to pay you to for you not to be in the home run

Speaker 1 i can't be bought man i'm a man of the people i can't be a billion dollars i can't be bought i literally am offering you a billion dollars i can't do it that's you're an idiot now you're just dumb i can't do it a billion dollars and you want to do it the people never forgive me man oh my god

Speaker 1 but i didn't say i'm gonna do it either though that's true i didn't say i was gonna do it i didn't say i'm not gonna do it you You want to make us sweat until the very last possible thing?

Speaker 1 We'll just see what happens, how it unfolds. Is this like just a this year thing, or is this like for the rest of my life? It's just this year.
This year. Yeah, we can't do it.
I think it was just.

Speaker 1 If we run the tape, I think it says if you ever, if you run this,

Speaker 1 if you ever, right? Ever this year. No, no, like ever.
We got to go with what the tape says. It's not really.
Right. Let me follow up on this.
I didn't do that. I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 You said that, so we have to go with what you said. I'm going to be a father, too.
It's the rules. I'm going to be a father.
I can't leave his ass. That's true.

Speaker 1 The fuck.

Speaker 1 He's a fan of the colour. You're going to have to have a

Speaker 1 You got to have the talk at some point. I think that's a good intro to it.

Speaker 1 I've got a dog that looks up to me. All right?

Speaker 1 He's running out of place. My dog thinks I shoot the moon.
I come home and he's so happy to see me. Everybody makes mistakes, man.
He'll understand. Your dog is going to be the easiest.

Speaker 1 Your dog's shame. Your dog will understand.
Everyone's going to be a distance. He's not going to listen to me.

Speaker 1 Dude, my kid's going to be like two weeks old, and the first thing his dad does is eat ass. Dogs do that all the time.
You'll understand. That's true.

Speaker 1 He licks his own butt. And he's got a friend dog that licks his for him.
I'm panicking. And you've got to start doing diapers, man.
You've got to get used to ass in general.

Speaker 1 It was offer you a billion dollars then.

Speaker 1 No, I was gonna say, we could do something out. You could do something else.
Yeah, spin zone is. I don't think that's an option.
Once you see that. Everyone's shaking their head, like, nah.

Speaker 1 Once you see my butt, big cat, a baby's butt is going to look like a clean dinner plate.

Speaker 1 Do you guys love Wisconsin? I do, yeah. Cheese curds? Not really.
Ooh, why not? What about you? I just haven't really had it. All right.
Yeah. You've been to Cruising Chubbies and the Wisconsin Dells?

Speaker 1 No. It's a great strip club.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. It's a great strip club.

Speaker 1 It's Cruising Culver's? What's your order at Culver's? What's Culver's? What's Culver's?

Speaker 1 Come on, man. Come on.
Fast food. I was a fast food.
You live in Wisconsin. Do you not?

Speaker 1 I don't really go. I told you, I don't really go anywhere.
Where do you guys live? Third Ward? Yeah. You do? Yeah.
Damn, nailed that. You're so fucking basic.

Speaker 1 Just convenient, man. I mean, I nailed it.
I nailed that. It actually is a nice name.
You spent some time around the Third Ward. I mean, I love Milwaukee.
It's a great city. It really is.
It's

Speaker 1 when are we going to see up there at some point? I'm up there. I don't think we're going to go.

Speaker 1 Or the Miller factory yeah cubs brewers game will come okay absolutely some point in the summer in that soulless uh stadium that you have that's like walking the halls of a fucking wall you guys can eat the asset on the slide maybe we can arrange that

Speaker 1 it'll be a tough seller have you guys met yannis

Speaker 1 i haven't yet i was actually supposed to i was going to after uh in spring training after the the suns game But I thought they were going to beat the Suns and they didn't beat the Suns.

Speaker 1 So I was like, ah. Suns are going to be that interesting.
It'll happen at some point. We were at at the playoffs game the other day and then

Speaker 1 we ended up leaving early. But

Speaker 1 you met Aaron Rodgers? Once, yeah.

Speaker 1 See, big time is done with you now? He's cool. He probably doesn't even remember it because it was a few years ago.

Speaker 1 I haven't been since I've been a brewer now. What do you think about people who are like, you know, the heyday? I think I actually said it, the heyday of Milwaukee sports with Giannis and you.

Speaker 1 I guess you throw Aaron Rodgers in, but he's over the hill.

Speaker 1 Is that kind of crazy?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's a little weird sometimes. Yeah.
I feel like you haven't

Speaker 1 yet. It happened very, very, very, very quickly.
Because the NL MVP did. I mean, when we sat at the Ulster game, that wasn't really on the table.
It wasn't even thought. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then you guys just got... All right, here's a real question.
The end of last year, obviously, the Brewers become the hottest team.

Speaker 1 What's it like when you're playing for a team that's just rolling? Do you guys just feel like everything's just going to go your way every single time you play?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we thought we were going to win every single game. And it's just every bounce, that's got to be such a good thing.
You're just playing playing really well. Like, everything's just rolling.

Speaker 1 Like, it's just hard to another thing. It's hard to explain.
It's just like a feeling that you have that, like, hey, listen, like, it's just going to, we're just going to win.

Speaker 4 Even if you get behind early, it's like, yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 1 When we went to go play 163, we're like, we're going to win. Like, it's cool, man.
Like, it'll be fine. We're just going to go play this nine innings, and then it's going to be fine.

Speaker 1 It's going to work out, which is not probably a really normal thing. It's just a confidence that ends up building over time, and like the whole team just carries it in.
Right.

Speaker 1 And like, our formula for winning last year was just like, be winning by the sixth. And then if we get it to the the sixth with our bullpen,

Speaker 1 it's a wrap most days.

Speaker 1 It's so weird how confidence kind of feeds into itself. So if you feel confident, you're going to do all the little things better just because that's how the human brain works.

Speaker 1 It's like if you expect things to go your way. Trick your mind.
Yeah, you don't stop. You don't outthink yourself if you're feeling confident.

Speaker 1 Do you guys see, like, is there a sports psychologist on the Brewers or anything like that that helps you guys deal with visualization, all that shit? We have a guy, but I mean, he didn't like it.

Speaker 1 It was just like

Speaker 1 we got on a roll. I think we ended up winning into the playoffs.
It was like a 13 or 14 game win streak. We had to win all nine games at the end of the season to even get the 163.

Speaker 1 And then once we did that, we were just rolling. Everything was just going.
Everybody was playing. We were pitching well.
We were hitting well. Bolton was pitching well.

Speaker 1 It was like once that happens, you're good.

Speaker 1 This is a real, maybe awkward question. Probably not.
But the Josh Hayter thing obviously made a huge storyline all-star game. I'm always curious.
We see the reaction right away.

Speaker 1 The Brewers, your teammates, everyone gets kind of behind him a little bit. And like, look, he was young.
He makes mistakes. What's it like two or three days after when the cameras are not on him?

Speaker 1 When it's not a national storyline? Is it like awkward? Like, hey, someone breaks the ice, makes a joke, or is it like, all right, this is kind of weird? No, I mean, it happened.

Speaker 1 It had a lot of attention at the time. He had...

Speaker 1 addressed a team that wasn't the guy that any of us knew in the clubhouse like you had

Speaker 1 if you knew him like if you've ever met him or spent time around him like you would never, like, you wouldn't even, that wouldn't even cross your mind. Like that thought wouldn't, this guy is like

Speaker 1 easygoing, like hippie, just chilling, like super laid back, super nice guy. And yeah, it's just unfortunate that it happened.
It's happened to a lot of people

Speaker 1 recently. But yeah, it was definitely an interesting couple of days.
It was an interesting flight back from DC. Like you felt for him in a way.
Were you with him? Yeah, it was at the All-Star game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. So it was the two of you.
It was all of us who were there. We We had a couple planes back, actually, from the All-Star game.

Speaker 1 So we, yeah, it was me, him, and I forgot who else was on ours. And yeah, there was not a whole lot of talking going on.
Like, I felt for him just because it's a tough situation to go through.

Speaker 1 Like, it was bad, and he felt really bad about it. It's something that he had to answer for and explain.
And we understood that.

Speaker 1 We were just like, hey, man, he talked to the team after the first day back. We had a team meeting about it.
And then after that, it was like, hey, man, we don't know that guy.

Speaker 1 We're only going to judge you for the person that we know you to be that since we've been around and it's been it's been fine ever since it's kind of a cautionary tale like don't do too well in the all-star game otherwise people will start digging up that old video view well it was just like fast yeah they did it they did it to him like he didn't even it was like as soon as he came in from the bulletin like somebody was just holding on to that right which is kind of it's it's like it's bad that he did that and it's bad also for the person that dug that up and held on to it

Speaker 1 and then held on it's like how it doesn't progress anything right it doesn't make it right it doesn't make what he did right or anything like that but like i love the guy he's an awesome guy like i consider him a really good friend um

Speaker 1 but yeah he had to answer for what he did but also at the same time like the person that's holding on to something like that that happened nine years ago or whatever however long ago it was to wait till someone's like biggest moment in their life to like try and destroy it like if they're like the home run derby yeah right did they why would you do that they figure out who it was that's that started that whole thing i'm not really sure it just gets passed around and lost in the ether yeah um so there was a there was like a team meeting scheduled for that because i'd well yeah i mean it had it's something that you like have to address or have to talk about you know what i mean like we we've got guys on our team that that's gonna really affect and you don't want to have it go down that road to where it ruins team chemistry anything like that and it didn't like if we got such a close-knit clubhouse and where guys are like Guys just didn't know him to be that guy.

Speaker 1 Maybe he was at some point when he was 16 or 17 years old, but the guy that I know, the guy that we knew, he wasn't like that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he was really like he was taking it pretty tough and like you felt for him in a way after that because like that just sucks man like especially if you haven't acted like that or you you don't really believe someone to be that way and then you have to wear that like some of them were some of them were bad some of them were movie quotes some of them were rap lyrics like you can't you can't do that like you can't ever say that or tweet that thing but right it's just like you kind of under you kind of felt for him in a way like of just like hey man you should that was a mistake you really messed up but and he showed you you don't really believe you we don't really believe you to be be like that something he's gonna have to deal with still going forward and and for the rest of his life but yeah it's just it was a tough situation for sure okay uh follow-up question which is your favorite sausage that does the racing

Speaker 1 i couldn't even name all five of them honestly yeah neither can i the only one i know is chorizo you can go without chorizo zabrat uh

Speaker 1 yeah there's cabasa i think and a hot dog right yeah hot dog i'd probably pick the cabasa yeah cobasa's pretty good cabasa is pretty good yeah sauerkraut on there yeah you ever think about taking a bat to one of them nah it turns out that has been done before.

Speaker 1 It turns out that's not the best idea. The pirates, that was awesome.
It would have been better ideas.

Speaker 1 If anybody's dressed up in one of those mascot uniforms, it feels like it should be okay to tackle them. But it turns out you can actually hurt somebody.

Speaker 1 I'm glad that that person got in trouble for it, not me, because I didn't know. I didn't know it was a real human in there.
You've got to be thirsty. Just making sure.

Speaker 1 I don't think you realize yet that we're going to do this interview for the next six hours until you are like, I need to drink. I got it.
And then you have to drink one of my steroid sodas.

Speaker 1 That's just how you're going to get out of it.

Speaker 1 can you get can you do if you like shake someone's hand can you pass steroids to them I don't think so interesting interest

Speaker 1 spray bottle yeah like just have a little on my fingertip and then just that's how the North Koreans do it just a little bit yeah

Speaker 1 you know I think it's just one of those things that we just got to see how this plays out it's only fair I mean we're just gonna let I mean we're just gonna let fate decide at this point either it happens or it doesn't all right and you know all right I'm fine whatever last question

Speaker 1 All the injuries that are happening to the Yankees, is that because they work out too much? Because Babe Ruth didn't work out and he never got hurt. Babe Ruth didn't work out.

Speaker 1 I mean, allegedly, right? Yeah, we know he didn't really work out. There's a video of him working out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the guy jiggles his legs and throws a medicine ball off his stomach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's his awesome. We should try that one tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yeah, try all the way. Also the strength coach.
Like, hey, buddy. Do you think they're not doing that?

Speaker 1 Like, in a real way, do you think that weightlifting, I mean, you're a skinnier guy, like, weightlifting gets too much? Probably. I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't really know what the reason is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure there's probably a lot of people that would love to know the reason and do a lot of research. A lot of these teams would like to know why guys keep getting hurt.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 It could be one of those just freak baseball things just because it's just like

Speaker 1 so much weird stuff happens in baseball. It's true.
A lot of weird things happen. Kirchen.
Pieces every night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's new every day. This Wednesday, 41 years ago, when the count was 2-2, it's two outs, and there was a guy landing on the moon.
This is only the second time in history.

Speaker 1 This guy took a cult third stripe with a guy on third, and this umpire behind the plate. You're like, what? He's always got them.
They're great.

Speaker 1 You bring up a good point, which is that there's nothing, like, baseball is such a weird sport.

Speaker 1 There's nothing that happens during the game with your body that the human body was actually designed to do. Yeah, it's all unnatural.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe like, maybe the swing isn't close to running, but like, you know,

Speaker 1 you watch a pitcher, you know, throw 99 miles an hour, and you're like, that is. Not really supposed to be able to do that.
That's not a real thing. That should not happen.
No, uh, what do you bench?

Speaker 1 I haven't worked out since spring training started. And what did you bench then? Nothing.

Speaker 1 We don't really do that.

Speaker 4 Nice. You don't do bench?

Speaker 1 You bench more than him. That's nice.
How much do you squat? Not a lot either. Yeah, exactly.
I thought so. Hmm.
Interesting. Chicken legs.
Yeah. What do you bench, Travis? He knows.

Speaker 1 Come on, you know.

Speaker 4 I mean, I haven't done anything but dumbbell bench in years.

Speaker 1 What do you dumbbell bench? The most? Yeah. Just like 100.
Fuck. it.
100. You got me beaten.
With each hand?

Speaker 4 Damn it. Or total.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say 25. That's what I use.
I usually throw up 25, still eat. What about curls? You guys do curls for the girls? I haven't touched the weight since I showed up.

Speaker 1 You just don't work out.

Speaker 1 I do like some ab stuff, some push-up stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not for me during the year. I just don't like how my body feels afterwards.
Same. I like when I feel...

Speaker 1 I like when I feel like looser and whippier. So there's really no difference between guys like me and you.

Speaker 1 I guess you just go on the workouts, yeah. Yeah, we just don't work out.
What's your diet like?

Speaker 1 I do in the off-season. It's regular.

Speaker 1 I try and be a little healthy, but I don't have this strict diet that I adhere to to where I can't eat this or I won't eat this.

Speaker 1 I really, yeah. It sucks because I really like you and I consider you a friend, but I really hate you.

Speaker 1 No, we're friends, man.

Speaker 1 You're a friend of mine. All right, Christian Yellow.

Speaker 1 Worst of luck. We've got to be really good friends here, too, hopefully.
Worst of luck.

Speaker 1 And yeah, try to hit a home run on the road. Maybe then I'll be worried.
We'll see, man. It's crazy.
We'll see how it plays out. Maybe will go all year with the camera.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all of a sudden when you don't know what pictures on the road. Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 And that fake batting eye that they have for you.

Speaker 1 The thing is that VP remains the same on the road at home. Nope.
Nope. Like, I don't know.
Don't believe it. In Cleveland or something like that, I think it'd be the same.

Speaker 1 Do you play the Indians this year? No, we did last year. Pretty short right field in Cleveland, though.

Speaker 1 It's a pretty favorable left-handed hitting ballpark.

Speaker 1 It's like ideal hitting conditions to right field in Cleveland. I'm serious on that.

Speaker 1 One last question. Who would would throw your batting practice in the home button? Probably the guy that does it every day.

Speaker 1 What's his name? I don't know. I forget.
Yeah, it'd be a real shame if something happened to him.

Speaker 1 Real shame. We could find other people.

Speaker 1 There's other people that have done it in the past that I feel comfortable with. It's just really like a good right field in Cleveland.
It really is.

Speaker 1 Especially for homers or

Speaker 1 BP homers or something like that.

Speaker 1 Drink one of these. Drink one of these.
Yeah. We got to go work on some batting practice or something.
All right.

Speaker 1 Goodbye. See you guys.

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Speaker 5 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 6 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
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Speaker 7 Eligibility and member terms apply the pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado built for the hustle ready for the game Chevy Silverado is america's most dependable full-size truck whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff the silverado is one ride that's always game ready just like football it's about grit grind and getting it done head to chevy.com to learn more and build your own chevy silverado All right, let's get to some segments.

Speaker 1 By the way, the Life Happens Festival, we should actually create a city and then just put people to work.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Like a utopia? Like, no, no, no. Like, you like, hey,

Speaker 1 for

Speaker 1 the whole thing. No, no, no.
It's a little different. So, like, for $5,000, you can be an accountant for a weekend.
Oh, it's like fantasy camp for jobs that suck. Right.
And it's just life happens.

Speaker 1 Okay. So just your life happens.
And then we eventually

Speaker 1 trick people to pay us to do work for us. What you just described was a corporation.
Right.

Speaker 1 So I think that's where the employees pay you to LLC. Right.
Life happens LLC. Uh-huh.
Yeah. What about about This Is So Us?

Speaker 1 What do you think about that for a music festival, man?

Speaker 1 It's just so us. Us AF.
Yeah. It's just so us.

Speaker 1 And class

Speaker 1 is ambiguous as you want it to be. You show up and it's like, whatever you are, that's so us.
It's what you make of it.

Speaker 1 So if you don't have a good time at This Is So Us festival, then it's your fault for just being a shitty version of us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, at the This Is So Us festival, we'll have a tent that's the living my best life tent. Okay, what goes on in there? You just whatever your best life is.

Speaker 1 We just hire some really good graphic designers and make a huge green screen, and you can just come take pictures, and they'll make whatever you want as the background. I like it.

Speaker 1 And you get a purple blanket and a brand new pair of Nike running shoes, and we're going to have a booth set up, a Kool-Aid booth. Yeah.
So, again, not a cult. Yes, not a cult.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do some segments. First up, we have, we have not done this in a long time, spoilers.
Now, we're not going to spoil anything recent, so don't you worry. We're not going to spoil Avengers.

Speaker 1 We're not going to spoil anything that's come out in the last 10 years, but we're bringing this up because LaShawn McCoy did spoil Avengers, and Twitter was more bad at him than like Tyree Kill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was bad.

Speaker 1 So he spoiled the movie about 12 hours after it came out in theaters. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it was in the middle of the day on a Friday, and most people haven't gotten the chance to just like skip work and go see it in the morning.

Speaker 1 And so people were furious with him, not only because he spoiled it, but also because he misspelled the name of the character that he was spoiling it about, meaning all these Avengers fans that had gone out of their way to set up filters

Speaker 1 to mute certain words on Twitter

Speaker 1 were still exposed to it.

Speaker 1 And so like the best laid plans of Mice and Nerds got totally ruined by LaShawn McCoy firing off a tweet. Two tweets actually.
Verbal meeting after he got out of the meeting. Verbal meme.

Speaker 1 LaShawn McGoy is Lenny from of Mice's men, and then everyone is the little mouse.

Speaker 1 What is

Speaker 1 rabbits? Tell him about rabbits. So all you nerds are the rabbits.
He just crushed you. Are your hopes and dreams? That was a spoiler in itself.
There you go.

Speaker 1 Don't read that book now. Your excitement for watching Avengers is

Speaker 1 George, and then LaShawn McCoy is sitting down by the lake with you, and he's Lenny. Wait, which one was a dumbo? Lenny.
Lenny. Okay.
Lenny is your excitement for watching Avengers.

Speaker 1 George is LaShawn McCoy sitting next to you at a river with a gun to the back of his head. I do just love, I love the fact that LaShawn McCoy, this is his most hated thing ever.

Speaker 1 And this is the guy who, remember, he had like the parties where everyone had females only, and they had to fill out like super creepy consent forms. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But this one, this is a bridge too far, LaShawn. It certainly is.
Usually it's Bill's kickers that end up ruining endings for things. Most hated, most hated Bill of all time.
Yeah. LaShawn McCoy now.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it is fucked up

Speaker 1 to spoil the Avengers because I know that people have been wanting to see that movie for a very long time. You were teasing someone in the office.

Speaker 1 I thought you, there was a chance on like Monday. No, we would have to say that.
Because I don't know any of the characters.

Speaker 1 I said to him, I was like, dude, I don't know the characters. And he was like, yeah, I know you don't.
It's one of those things where

Speaker 1 I missed the train on this one, but I see everybody is so excited about it and they're so invested in it that you'd have to be a real dickhead to intentionally spoil it.

Speaker 1 I am legit jealous of people how much they love this movie and how much it means to them because it's cool to love something like that. Like Robbie Fox, our guy

Speaker 1 cried at the end of the movie. I was like, that's fucking awesome.
Because guess what?

Speaker 1 The new festival, you just emote. Just everybody.
Feeling emotions. Yeah, you feel emotions.
All right. So with that said, we are going to spoil some movies

Speaker 1 over 10 years.

Speaker 1 This is spoilers. We haven't done this in forever.
Hank, you want to go?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay.
I'm going to spoil Star Wars episode one. Fuck.
Episode. When did that come out? 1972.
That's episode. Remember they do the fucked up.

Speaker 1 That was episode 4. Can't keep track.

Speaker 1 Qui-Gon Jinn gets split in half by Darth Maul. And And then Anakin Skywalker starts training with

Speaker 1 Obi-Wan. That was like 99.
I think it. Wait, Anakin trains with Obi-Wan? Fuck.
And then he goes on to become Darth Vader. So Obi-Wan made Darth Vader.
So you have to ask, is he complicit?

Speaker 1 It's like buying drugs. If you buy weed, you're actually decapitating Mexican journalists because you're funding the cartel.
That's true. Fair question.
Okay. Obi-Wan canceled.

Speaker 1 All right. I'll do Inside Man.

Speaker 1 Great movie. Great movie.
The guy was sleeping in the bank, and it was all a ploy because the bank owner was a Nazi sympathizer, so that's how he got all his money. This ain't no bank robbery.

Speaker 1 This is a great movie. Great movie.
Come on, Jake. Come on.
This ain't no bank robbery. I never

Speaker 1 think I saw the movie. I just remember seeing...
This ain't no bank robbery. And I was like, that's it.
That's a good movie. Such a movie.
Just that line.

Speaker 1 My spoiler is Mission Impossible. Oh, which one? I have not seen Mission Impossible.
So that's actually... Now I'm not going to.
Okay, everyone's wearing a mask. So that's just it.

Speaker 1 Like John Voigt boom He's wearing a mask Tom Cruise is

Speaker 1 a faceless man wearing a mask

Speaker 1 No, they have the technology where they can replicate people's faces and they put these masks on and so they just I think Tom Cruise just rolls around with a briefcase of like ten masks at a time so he can look like anybody and he's got a little voice modulation thing that he can sound like anybody

Speaker 1 yeah so it sounds terrible there are like six masks awesome in mission impossible it blew my mind yeah why are there so many how do they make why they keep coming out you're gonna have to see it yeah i i'm not gonna spoil the most recent one because This fallout was pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. We have a talking soccer PFT.
What was this again? So this is, I think it was Leeds was playing as some other team. Sure.
As they do. And there was an injured player on the pitch.

Speaker 1 And instead of kicking the ball out of bounds, as would be sporting, the team proceeded to score a goal, take the ball down the entire length of the pitch, scored a goal.

Speaker 1 And then the coach, I believe, of Leeds

Speaker 1 got so mad at his players for scoring the goal, goal, he told them to allow the other team to score a goal on the case. Sport

Speaker 1 sportsmanship. It was a real-life version of that commercial where that basketball player is like, Coach, I touched the ball last.

Speaker 1 And so his players were pissed off at him for telling them to do that, but they had to follow orders. Pussification of America.
Pussification of America in the EPL.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if the CPL might be the Swansea League. It was.
And I think the winner, if Leeds had won, they were going to guarantee that they would advance. That they would

Speaker 1 derelegate themselves. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, unrelegate. Unrelegated.
Yes, exactly. Okay, let's wrap up.
Before we get to Thrones Talk, we're going to do a Monday reading real quick. This one.

Speaker 1 The hotel room?

Speaker 1 Hank is so.

Speaker 1 We'll save it for the Game of Thrones. Hank is a sickly boy.
Save it for the Game of Thrones. All right, so Monday reading.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 NYC's sober bar scene is a hip oasis for booze-free fun.

Speaker 1 That sounds good. This actually sounds like someone who's on our wavelength about these fucking festivals.
This sounds like the hangover crawl invention that I had a couple years ago.

Speaker 1 You remember that? Yeah, where you just

Speaker 1 everyone's hungover. Yeah.
And then you just play like soft music and they feed you like soft snacks. And you jerk each other off.
You jerk each other off. You're not allowed to eject.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to. Yes, it is.

Speaker 1 Who knows? That might be the. We may have invented the hangover cue right there.
All right, here we go. Pour one out for the boozy bar scene.

Speaker 1 Sober nightlife is taking off in New York city from posh mocktail bars to buzz-free pop-up parties the objective to deliver a fun night out without alcohol which americans are drinking less of these days according to a 2018 report by beverage market analyzer iwsr

Speaker 1 this also could be called why you should just buy an xbox yeah but we'll go on i think this is just like people are getting high more so they're not drinking it

Speaker 1 right liquor is a toxin well breaking news not a social lubricant. Ashok Shaki Pai, a sober Williamsburg resident, tells the Post.

Speaker 1 On a recent Saturday night, the 40-something real estate agent settled in at Getaway, Greenpoint's new mocktail bar. Pie,

Speaker 1 who used to be a club promoter, polished off two coconuts, pineapple and coconut milk, $13, and a ginger spice, ginger, grapefruit juice, tonic, and club soda, also $13. Wow.

Speaker 1 He found the booze-free scene scene refreshing. It's nice to be around sober people who got their wits about them, he says.
This just sounds like work. It's just everything.
You're going to work.

Speaker 1 You're describing everything that's not a bar. Hey, can we take the one thing that is a bar and turn it into everything else that's not a bar? And put it in a bar? And put it in a bar.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Also, this sounds like a guy who probably is a really bad drunk. He's like, you know what's cool? Not puking on yourself and embarrassing yourself with a bunch of text messages and dick pics.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a loser. Going a little too far here.
Just maybe just mixing mixing a water. Well, so I can understand why this would be valuable for like maybe a recovering alcoholic.
Totally fair.

Speaker 1 Or a Muslim or somebody who, according to their religion, doesn't want to drink and they don't want to be around dumb drunk animals all the time. So good for them.

Speaker 1 But it sounds like charging $13 for like basically cutting a coconut in half and then pouring stale Coke into it. Right.
And you're right. There are definitely people, like,

Speaker 1 if you have a

Speaker 1 recovering addiction, you're like, I don't want to be around drunk people, this sounds great. This just sounds, though, like a 40-year-old dude who's like, I invented a new way to get laid.

Speaker 1 Yes, which is we'll get everyone sober. Also, I'm not necessarily buying that alcohol can't be both a toxin and a social lubricant.
Yeah, the world's best lubes are toxic. Yes,

Speaker 1 that's just how it's going to be. The funnest things in life are bad for you.
Yeah, you just want to talk to somebody that has all their wits about them and is in a good form of mind. No, not me.

Speaker 1 Again, it's like going to work. You're going to work.
All right, so fellow getaway

Speaker 1 patron Wayne Hossing agrees. By the way, that's two dudes now.
We'll see if we'll get any females here. It might just be a dudes club.

Speaker 1 Although the sober bar was filled with millennial patrons, it has a grown-up feeling to it, says the Williamsburg-based asset manager who's in his early 50s. I'm noticing a trend here.
40s and 50s.

Speaker 1 Okay, he's had a glass of wine at a dinner party before coming to get...

Speaker 1 What? Oh, wait, he's showing up. He's gone.
He's pregaming for the sober bar.

Speaker 1 You know what? That's so fucked up. He's a drunk guy at the sober bar.

Speaker 1 It's dawning on me that the entire place is probably filled with people who are drunk from what they did before they got to the sober bar. Actually, it's just a place.

Speaker 1 It's actually just a sober up bar. Yeah.
And I like that. Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea.
You can call it mixing the water.

Speaker 1 A place, that would actually be a great idea if a bar was like, hey, we have the stiffest drinks in the world, but at midnight, all we serve is water until 2 a.m.

Speaker 1 Mixing of Water is a good bar name, especially if it's like an Irish bar. Yeah.
And it's just two guys with red hair like swimming around in a tall glass of water. It's a mixing of water.

Speaker 1 His friend Sohang Gandhi, who's 38 and sober, credits the good vibe to a sweeping sense of relief. Finally, a cool, dry place where he didn't have to feel weird about ordering a seltzer.

Speaker 1 Does this guy live in a fucking basement? A cool, dry place? Okay. People that don't drink also want a hip environment, says the engineer.
They don't want to be stuck going to a restaurant or a movie.

Speaker 1 Fair, I guess, but those are like good things.

Speaker 1 Going to

Speaker 1 be a little bit more. Pretty cool.
Yeah. I mean, you eat three times a day.
I hate being entertained and having good food. Yeah, so they show show up.

Speaker 1 Everybody else is drunk, probably from pregaming, and then they just order overpriced mocktails, which if anybody says the word mocktail to my face, it's on site. And it's big time on site.

Speaker 1 And it's also, as far as we've read, so like here, it's a bunch of 40 and 50-year-old dudes hanging out with millennials that are most definitely on ecstasy. Uh-huh.
Okay. That makes total sense to

Speaker 1 these names are like, these are made-up names. Lorelai Bandrovsky, founder of the sober-friendly pop-up party, Listen Bar.

Speaker 1 Right now we live in a culture that claims drinking as a default, says Bandrovsky, who's 32 and an occasional drinker.

Speaker 1 Her company takes over otherwise boozy bars to sling mocktails such as the Ghost Me Maybe.

Speaker 1 That's a great name. Grapefruit, Rosemary, and Tonic.
She thinks the rising interest in wellness is driving the trend of alcohol-free fun.

Speaker 1 Although drinkers are free to join her events, too, we're not necessarily a sober bar.

Speaker 1 Now this is where it's like, all right, we're serving booze, but whatever, says Bandrovsky, who estimates estimates that only a third of her clients identify as dry.

Speaker 1 She thinks of it more as an alternative night out, something she feels jaded by city dwellers crave whether they drink or not. We're New Yorkers.
We get bored. We don't want to have just one option.

Speaker 1 So this is...

Speaker 1 This is actually genius by them because they essentially have created a sober bar that's not really that sober, but if you don't want to drink, you can just be like, I went to a sober bar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can do that. But the thing that keeps popping back into my head is I don't want to go out and socialize with people where everybody is just like completely level-headed and thinking clear.

Speaker 1 There should at least be a part of the bar you can go to and just get dizzy for a while. Right.
And just talk to other dizzy people.

Speaker 1 Or do the thing where you blow

Speaker 1 onto your thumb so hard that you get light-headed. Now you just describe the carnival, which I'm not opposed to.
Yeah, carnival.

Speaker 1 So are there games that you can play, or are you just sit around talking about how you're also not drunk?

Speaker 1 Here's a bad thing that I just readed. I read ahead there for a second.
On the Lower East Side upcoming karaoke lounge, juice box heroes in mini-rex will be split into sober and non-sober sections.

Speaker 1 Sober karaoke. Who the fuck wants to do sober karaoke? I'll tell you who.
Acapella people are. Yeah, people who think they're going to make it.
A lot of acapella.

Speaker 1 There's definitely like, I'm going to be found

Speaker 1 at, what was it called? Juicebox Heroes.

Speaker 1 The only sober record executive in America is walking into Juicebox Heroes tonight. And

Speaker 1 he's sober because his parole officer making it. Yeah, he's wearing an ankle monitoring.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm I'm going to find my next one. People who don't use alcohol as a crutch to begin with tend to be easier on the ears, says co-owner Eduardo Gave.
I will. That's probably true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that might be true, but what also is easier on the ears is getting drunk yourself.

Speaker 1 And then you don't care what anyone's singing. Yeah, God bless people who work at karaoke bars having to listen to everybody.
It's fun when you're there and you're drunk. They're hammered.

Speaker 1 They better be.

Speaker 1 A whole new industry is springing up to meet consumer demand for more alcohol-free options. Sobriety is only going to get more cool, he says.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't. I don't know.
We should go review one of these places. Buy low on sobriety.
I'm going to go, but I'm going to be on some sort of intoxicant. Actually, no, I quit drugs.

Speaker 1 We should podcast from there. Okay.
The first ever sober bar podcast. That sounds just incredible.
Incredible. I fell asleep listening to that sentence.

Speaker 1 Sober bar podcast. Let's do it.
About sports. Nobody there is a sports fan, though.
No, that's the problem. There's no TVs.
No. Yeah, that's the other thing.
Can you put an NBA playoffs?

Speaker 1 Excuse me, sir. Please leave.
Why not just watch sports? Or play your Xbox or gamble. There are a lot of things you can do sober.
Yeah. Going to a bar seems pretty stupid.

Speaker 1 If you're trying to have fun, I don't care if it's sober bar, drunk bar, whatever. I don't want to go to a bar if I'm not drinking.

Speaker 1 Where do people get their endorphin rushes from if they don't participate in any sort of illicit activity? I don't look

Speaker 1 to the right when I cross the street in the bike lane. That's fucking badass.
Yeah. Well, that one's almost killed me.
That'll get your blood going. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Big time.
What about you, Hank?

Speaker 1 What do you do to get your endorphins going? If it's sober night for Hank, what do you do? I don't watch Game of Thrones. I don't know.
Yeah, actually. Okay, there you go.
All right.

Speaker 1 So that's a perfect segue. So we're going to do our thrones.
We're going to do the recap.

Speaker 1 We're taping this beforehand, so we're going to predict who we think dies, and then we're going to do the recap after.

Speaker 1 So if you haven't watched, don't just stop the podcast right now and finish it later. I also want to note that Hank,

Speaker 1 his nervous energy is off the charts before the show.

Speaker 1 I likened it to like a dog before a thunderstorm. He's just been like

Speaker 1 whining around the office like, are you okay? That's not true. And he's very anxious, but rightfully so.
There's a big episode.

Speaker 1 So quickly, let's rattle off who we think is going to die, and then we will watch the show and be very wrong. Okay, Grey Worm.
I think you should pick. Dead.
Each pick five. D-E-D dead.
Grey Worm.

Speaker 1 I'm going to also pick Grey Worm.

Speaker 1 Theon's dead. Which one's he again? The Dickless Guy.
Okay, Dickless Guy. Two Dickless guys.
Dead. Theon and Grey Worm.
Gray Worms. Dead.
Greyworms and... Was it Ben Rothelsberger?

Speaker 1 That'd be a good nickname for him. Yes.

Speaker 1 Tormond and Brianna Tarth.

Speaker 1 Both dead. That's the night lady.
They just got knighted. Sir.
Sir Brianna Tarthar. Sir Tarth.
Yes.

Speaker 1 What about...

Speaker 1 Who's the guy that liked the breast milk? Big red. Torment.
That's Tormand. Torman.
So he's dead, too. So that's four.
So let's pick our fifth. Tyrion.

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 1 Which one's that? It was the one that he was like, I want to be in the battle and Danny Dwarf stay in the crypts. Oh, okay, yeah.
All right. so that's our five.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, Tyrion is he's the famous guy, Peter Digwich. Yeah, okay, wow,

Speaker 1 Hank, that would be rough. There's our five, and then we want to throw in just one extra.
I got a dragon, Barrick's gonna die. If a dragon dies, that'll be tough.
I'll say a dragon dies.

Speaker 1 Okay, that'd be a real shame, Hank. What about the guy that Arya fucked? Gendry? I think Gendry's dead.
He's gone. I think he's dead.
All right. She's pregnant.
He's dead. Okay.

Speaker 1 So there are predictions. We haven't watched yet.
We'll be back. We'll literally pick up in the next like 10 seconds us instantly right after the show.
See you on the other side.

Speaker 1 That's the song. That's it? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know you're doing the NBC. Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 1 It's Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 It's Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 Sunday night, Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're back. Battle of the Winterfell.
The battle that no one could see. Yeah.
In my opinion, shows that take place on a visual medium, you should be able to watch them.

Speaker 1 But wait, PFT, you don't understand. The Night King,

Speaker 1 the whole point of him is he acts in a way to make everything confusing, except for the fact I still would like to be able to see a TV show while watching it. It was a deeper meaning than that.

Speaker 1 All I took away from The Night King, he fucking loves cocaine. Dude, The Night King, The Night King, well, let's go.
That's the end.

Speaker 1 We'll start at the beginning. The Night King, honestly, the biggest showboater of all time.
Like, bro, you were walking so slow to try to win that game.

Speaker 1 He, Deshaun Jackson, dropped it right before the end zone. He's like the Mr.
Miyagi of bad guys. Insane.

Speaker 1 He just, all he does is he stands totally still, and then when you charge at him, he like waits the last second and just goes,

Speaker 1 yeah, he's Steven Seagal fighting all those guys. Aikido.

Speaker 1 All right, so the Battle of Winterfell starts. First of all, can't see anything.
Second of all. I still think it was good.
Yeah, no, it was good. I'm not saying it wasn't good.

Speaker 1 I just wish I could see a little bit more. Turns out everybody's TV sucks.
Yeah, like it would be awesome to be able to see the details of it. But I get it.
I get the whole point of it.

Speaker 1 It's distracted. Like, Night King brings winter and all this shit.

Speaker 1 Let's start from the top, though. When you lead with your best guys, the Dithraki, and they get the shit kicked out of them, not a good morale thing.

Speaker 1 But for morale, the Red Woman, ultimate, ultimate walker coach.

Speaker 1 She got the boys fired out.

Speaker 1 Sneaky Red Woman, like, if she had been able to close the deal there, she would have been like Andre Guadala winning the MVP. I gotta know where.
Like, what?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 we remembered it as that. Like, that was Steph's team.
That was Jon Snow's team.

Speaker 1 And boom, she comes out of nowhere and starts fucking lighting shit on fire, lighting the trenches, telling everyone I told you to be back. She was also the one that put it in Aria's head.
True.

Speaker 1 Put what? True.

Speaker 1 She was like, you kill people with blue eyes, green eyes, and

Speaker 1 brown eyes, green eyes, and blue. But how could Arya see anybody's eyes through all that smog? Yeah, and the blood in her eyes.
Her saying blue eyes made her think, oh, I got to go kill the Nike.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay, gotcha.

Speaker 1 I was thinking that Melisandre, is that her name? Yeah, Melisandre. I thought that she was like a mole.
I thought that she was like fucking with people and was giving them bad fire.

Speaker 1 So she should have been killed because she burned that 13-year-old at the stake. And then everyone was like, Sir Davis was like, get the fuck out of here.
I never want to see you again.

Speaker 1 Then she showed up for the biggest

Speaker 1 commission.

Speaker 1 And Ser Davis was like, you know what? Fine. Come back on the team.
It's fine. So they sent it to Dracie out.

Speaker 1 When your best play doesn't work right out of the gate, that's a tough for the morale. Like you could see in everyone's eyes, they're like, yo, we're kind of fucked here.
Two questions.

Speaker 1 Why didn't they start launching the catapults? Why didn't they do that before they were? A little earlier. Yeah.
Maybe give yourself some light. Exactly.
Yeah, just hold them off.

Speaker 1 Send the dragons out, too. Well, okay, so the dragons.
I got a big problem with the dragons. That was the part I really like.

Speaker 1 The dragons really, like, dude, the dragons were like a really good running back. They just kept on going out of bounds.
Like, get in the game. Run north-south.
They were Sean Alexander.

Speaker 1 Keep the shit out of someone. They just would come.
They'd go. They'd come.
Oh, yeah, so there's a little bit of turbulence, and it's bad

Speaker 1 visibility out there. Just go light some shit on fire.
At one point, they like flew above the clouds and just hung out. That was LaDani and Tomlinson jumping up and down on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 Cruising Phillip Rivers was out there with a torn ACL. Okay, I got a question.

Speaker 1 Jon Snow and Danny, how bad do their ears pop? They were at like 15,000 feet. Yeah, that's tough.
Hank would know. The whole time I was like, yo,

Speaker 1 yo, grab your nose, pop your ears. This is getting insane.
Yeah. It was giving me a little bit of anxiety.
Those dragons were my fire fest. Yeah, those dragons.

Speaker 1 Oh, quick question about the blue dragon, the bad dragon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does he breathe out, I know it's blue fire, but is that fire super cold or super hot?

Speaker 1 It's like super hot. Blue is the hottest fire.
Yeah. It's basically

Speaker 1 your stovetop. He's just doing stovetop on everyone.
Okay, that's tough. Yeah.
He's just getting the butane going. So the White Walkers.
So about their fighting style. They're dumb as shit.

Speaker 1 They're like, they're super aggressive, but they're dumb as shit. They're like the Cincinnati Bengals defense of whatever, Westeros or whatever.
They basically are, I mean, they're all just running.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like basically playing.

Speaker 1 They play... They fight like a bunch of seven-year-olds play basketball.

Speaker 1 Everyone runs to the ball. Punch ball.
And no one's spacing anything out. And everyone's like running around.

Speaker 1 Or like seven-year-olds playing soccer. It's like 22 kids all in one corner.
Like, yo, maybe space and one of you can score a goal instead of all going after the same people all at once.

Speaker 1 The thing about the White Walkers is they're super easy to kill, but there are just so many of them. Right.
They can't kill them. They're just strengthening whiters.
The whites. What? Whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 White Walkers. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 White Walkers are the guy who's. You're saying the whites are whites.

Speaker 1 Whites are slow.

Speaker 1 The whites are slow, and there's too many of them. The whites are the skeletons that come back to life.
The zombie. The people you guys are talking about are called whites.

Speaker 1 The white walkers are the dudes. We don't see color.
Like the king.

Speaker 1 It's W-I-G-H-T-S. Okay, got it.
All right, so the battle rages on. Everyone's shit's going crazy.
Shout out Lady Mormon. If we're giving stars out, she gets two stars.

Speaker 1 She fucking got squeezed to death by that giant, but she did kill him. So good job by you.

Speaker 1 That's the one thing. If you're that giant, why do you even do that? Why do you take that chance? Your one weakness.
Right, you're going to have to bring

Speaker 1 a 10-year-old girl up to your eyeball. Yeah.
It's like, here we go. The hound.

Speaker 1 Poor performance from the hound. The hound, he was basically the guy in Saving Private Ryan, the munitions guy.
Yeah. Who just let his bro get killed by the Nazi.
Playoff Pete.

Speaker 1 Dude, yeah, play off Pete. Big time hound.
Like, he's ready to go. He's all gassed up.
All we've been hearing from him for seven seasons is he's the best fighter in the world.

Speaker 1 The lights shine bright, and he's, oh, he's scared of a little fire. Well, he's red.
His brother burned his face once. He's read a little.
Wait, no, that's not the hound.

Speaker 1 Which is the guy from the Citadel that stole those books? Samuel. That guy.

Speaker 1 Well, listen, he's not a fighter. No, he's not.
He tried his best. He stole books from the Citadel.
Yeah. Although,

Speaker 1 my favorite thing that happens in every movie or show ever is when the guy saves another guy's life, and then he's like, Whew, that was a close one, and then boom, he gets killed. Dead.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, damn. Didn't see that one.
That was tough. Shout out to Ario, though.
All right, so let's ending. Yeah, let's go best, worst performances.
So I wrote down my best performances, Theon.

Speaker 1 What? Dude, Theon

Speaker 1 fought his ass off. Are you serious right now? He took it.
What's the problem with Theon? He protected Bran. He fought his ass off.
That was the worst attempt to kill him in the night.

Speaker 1 That doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Bran basically was like, at least Theon's

Speaker 1 got no chance. Oh, good luck.
You know who's worse, hey?

Speaker 1 Here's the name that's worse. Jon Snow thought he could just yell at a dragon and kill it.

Speaker 1 What was that at the end? When he's like, I'm just going to stand up and just talk sternly to this dragon, and Arya saved his ass. But Jon Snow had no plan.
He was just running around.

Speaker 1 He was doing classic Jon Snow. I can fight a million people, and I'll be fine.
So Theon gets big-time props from me. Red V, we talked about.
Also, Theon's not dead.

Speaker 1 Theon's not dead. Ooh.

Speaker 1 But here's how you can tell in a movie or a TV show, if somebody gets shot or stabbed anywhere besides directly in the middle of their stomach or on the top left part of their body where the heart is, they're going to survive that wound.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to disagree. I think he's very dead.
No, if you see a dude get stabbed like in the top right part of his chest, I think he's a taste. Have you ever seen a movie, man? Dude, he has to be.

Speaker 1 You have to get hit directly in the heart out of his mouth. I'm just saying how movies work.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was an honorable way for him to go out. And I cannot believe, Hank, that you didn't think Theon left it all out on the field.
He did. Like, you're insane, dude.
You're insane.

Speaker 1 He probably racked up, what, like, 50, 60 bodies? Easy. All without a dick.
How are you going to prepare for the battle of your life and only bring like 20 arrows? Dude, he had a lot of arrows.

Speaker 1 Tell me that. Tough.
Tell me that. Tough to do it.
All right. Tell me that.

Speaker 1 Red Lady, huge props. Showed up out of nowhere.
Helped everyone out. Literally got the boys fired up.
Got the boys fired up. Got Arya back to, like, back on plan.
Like, it was like halftime.

Speaker 1 It was like, hey, listen, remember the game plan here? You got to go kill the White Walker. What is it, Night King? Night King, yeah.
Aria, hand-eye coordination from the many-faced god.

Speaker 1 She, dude, pretty good, and she's pregnant. She's an 80 on the on the uh, if we're doing baseball on her, on her hands, on her five.
On her teeth, yeah.

Speaker 1 There's also a nice little like Scooby-Doo scene when she was, like, avoiding the white walkers. Yeah.
What do you mean? It would just seem like she wasn't. She was just running around the corners.

Speaker 1 You know what Scooby-Doo when the White Walker in and out of the old man Hunterfield? Something I noticed, very nice tiling in the hallway. Well,

Speaker 1 hallways of Winterfell. Like, super nice.
Well put together. Yeah, very well put together.
So, are we going to run with the theory that she's pregnant? Because I like that theory.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that she is. Is Gendry dead? No, no, he survived, I think.

Speaker 1 I think he survived. So, it's like Serena Williams at the Australian Open.
She had that platelet, rich blood that she was playing for. So, she was good.

Speaker 1 So, worst or hound by far, although he came back a little bit. The Dragons, I really thought they could have given some more, they could have given some more points, rebounds, all of it.

Speaker 1 They left a lot out there. I will say a scoreboard watch.
It's cool that there's only one left, and it's Danny's. Like, she's got the ultimate dragon.
We don't know. We don't know.

Speaker 1 Did Jon Snow's dragon die? Yes, that was the... It's banged up.
We know that. That was the one that he was fighting at the end.
I think.

Speaker 1 I could be very wrong. I haven't looked online or anything.
I've flipped it already? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They would have showed two bad dragons flying simultaneously. Yes, because by the time they were both on the ground, the dragon was on the ground.
And when he raised everyone.

Speaker 1 But I don't think his dragon was dead. All right.

Speaker 1 We need a better TV.

Speaker 1 We need a lot better TV.

Speaker 1 Everyone in the crypt gets my worst because, like, that was the most obvious thing ever.

Speaker 1 You know know that you're fighting a guy who can raise dead people and you go to the place where all the dead people are. So use your head.

Speaker 1 And also, Tyrion and Sansa, I feel like they were about to fuck right there, which would have been awesome. Wasn't expecting that.
Wasn't expecting that.

Speaker 1 I thought the crypt they were in was going to fucking open up in one of them. Oh, Lord of Light.
Do you like that moment where he was Jesus Christ and he was hung up? And it's like, your God is dead?

Speaker 1 When he got hung up in the hallway and they were stabbing him a million times? Oh, yeah, yeah. He was hung up on the cross and it's like, your God is dead.

Speaker 1 Let's see. What else? What else did I I write down?

Speaker 1 Theon Redemption, which Hank totally disagrees with, was his worst take he's ever had in his entire life. I mean, Brand did say, you're a good man.

Speaker 1 Brand was basically like, all right, Theon, you're done. Bran, I'm sorry.
What is Brand's deal?

Speaker 1 Where does Brand go from here?

Speaker 1 They never really told us what the Night King did. I don't know.
Like, what Brand was doing.

Speaker 1 They built this whole thing up for eight seasons and never really explained it. Okay, so what's the aftermath? Well, there's still three episodes.
Yeah, what's the upshot? They got Jorge.

Speaker 1 They got a lot of stuff up. By the way, George's dead.
He literally fought for the woman that has just been refusing to love him back. And ultimate, he is the friend zone Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 Like, the way he died, fighting for...

Speaker 1 Danny, by the way. She really exposed herself as a non-fighter.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Are you still on her side?

Speaker 1 You still like her? You're a fucking loser. She's got only dragon.
I hate you for that. Ligaria is a badass.
And Team Targ. Cersei's a badass.

Speaker 1 You just love it. Cersei is the worst.
Dude. Team Targ.
Team Targ. Team Tark.
It's that same thing.

Speaker 1 You love this chick that has been basically walking around saying, I'm the king, I'm the queen, and Jon Snow's the rightful heir, and she can't even fight for herself. She just found that out.

Speaker 1 And her little dragons don't show up. She did fight.
She did fight a little bit. Barely.

Speaker 1 Listen, you can say what you want about her as a dragon trainer and as a keeper of dragons, as a coach of dragons. Mother.
As a mother.

Speaker 1 She's not their mom. Yes, she is.
She is. She's the mother of dragons.
The eggs didn't come out of her. No, she held them in a fire and she got burnt alive.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then the fire ended, and she was just sitting there there with the crazy brain. But she didn't fuck a lizard and give birth to a girl.
She is the mother of dragons.

Speaker 1 Just because they're imprinted on you, she has a bunch of ducks follow you around. Her name is Mother of Dragons.
The surrogate of dragons. Yes, which is

Speaker 1 there. There you go.

Speaker 1 All right. I don't know.
I couldn't see shit. So, what? No, seriously.
I couldn't.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say that's the. And I'm also mad at Hank for saying Theon didn't die admirably.

Speaker 1 The episode is only available to be fighting on five TVs in America, and they were all owned by the Game of Thrones editors. So they're insisting to their bosses this morning

Speaker 1 that actually it was great. It was perfectly done.
It's everybody else that has a big channel. Well, here's, no, honestly, the line of people, and look,

Speaker 1 I'm new to the Game of Thrones world. This is the dumbest Game of Thrones recap in podcasting history, but I know already what people are going to say.
They're going to say

Speaker 1 it was confusing on purpose because the Night King confuses people. I will stand and die on the hill that I still want to be able to watch the television show.
Agreed. I think that's fair, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I think that's totally fair. I'd like to be able to see what's going on.
And Hank is sitting here thinking that he's going to go home and he's going to magically be able to see everything.

Speaker 1 I hope so. No chance.
No chance. Do you think it's easy to get it?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to sit here and be like, it was so bad because I couldn't see you. If I go home, it wasn't bad.
It wasn't bad. I'm not saying the episode was bad.

Speaker 1 I'm saying I would prefer to be able to see the television show I'm watching. But do you think it's better to watch it on a phone than it is on a TV? I think it might be.

Speaker 1 Smallest screen, maybe, maybe a, what was the TV? Whose TV was it? Everyone we clowned on? R. Kelly.
R. Kelly's.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 we can't make fun of that guy anymore. Just kidding.
All right, so that's the dumbest Game of Thrones recap ever. You got anything else? What you got for the throne?

Speaker 1 I think Arya is like the,

Speaker 1 well, I don't know. I just.
They're going to give it to John.

Speaker 1 John, I still don't understand. Like, John, what are you doing, man? You're just yelling at that dragon.
Why not? Let's just get real nuts with it and give it to a dragon.

Speaker 1 Just see how the dragon would rule. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Probably be pretty cranky if they can't find enough food. Yeah.
New law, everybody eats.

Speaker 1 Very relatable, though.

Speaker 1 Can't find enough food, get really upset and just blow people up. Yeah, I don't know who's going to win the throne.
To you?

Speaker 1 Sansa?

Speaker 1 Listen, here's all I'm going to say is I'm very happy that the White Walkers are dead because that was always my least favorite part of this show. I like the human versus human shit.

Speaker 1 I like that stuff. I won't like houses and all that stuff.
That's my jam. The White Walkers, I could never fully get into their whole thing.
Is there going to be infighting now? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 In the last three episodes, there's going to be murder amongst them. They're all going to wake up and be like, wait, we forgot we hate each other.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's going to be like the Democratic primary that's coming up soon. Yes, exactly.
Yeah. 30 of them are going to be like, well, now who's the king? Yeah, they're going to do purity tests on everybody.

Speaker 1 And Cersei's Trump. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't understand that correlation because I don't know. I don't either, but it's loose, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I will say I was just on Friday I said I was hoping that they didn't do like end of one storyline and then end the other one. I hope it was going to somehow mix.

Speaker 1 That didn't happen, but you know, what can you do? All right. Well, can you do? We'll see you next time.
My Better TV. All right.
See you guys on Wednesday. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.