Coach Jeff Fisher, NFL Draft, Game Of Thrones Dumb Theories

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 we have the NFL draft. All of our reactions, all of our overreactions.
We also have

Speaker 1 In Memoriam, the Washington Capitals, Coach Jeff Fisher talking about draft war rooms

Speaker 1 and his newfound Twitter Glory.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to finish the show with some FAQs and some Game of Thrones previews slash predictions slash.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the fuck we're going to do because we're the dumbest Game of Thrones podcast in the world.

Speaker 3 Now speak for yourself.

Speaker 1 That's true. PFT is on his game when it comes to Green of Thrones.

Speaker 1 We're going to do all that. And it's going to be an awesome show because it is a Friday show, and those are always great.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No paper, hang on, no washing.

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Speaker 1 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elan Shrek Ivell.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

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Speaker 3 I don't do overreactions, but Dan Snyder is the best talent evaluator in the history of the National Football League.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we don't do overreactions, but we are going to overreact to a few things. Let's start from the top.

Speaker 1 We'll get to Dwayne Haskins and Dan Snyder somehow becoming the greatest drafter of all time.

Speaker 1 But we have to start with the top, and the top is always with Roger Goodell coming out with Marcus Mariota, probably the worst shield he's ever come out with because usually he comes out with the troops, hoping that that will bring down the booze.

Speaker 1 Our kids, our kids, someone maybe who doesn't have a leg or something.

Speaker 1 This year he comes out with Marcus Mariota, and he basically says the Titans fans are like, well, we kind of don't like him either.

Speaker 3 Usually when you bring a shield out, the shield is supposed to protect you from injuries. And Marcus Mariota is like,

Speaker 3 he's the last thing from a shield possible. So he's not protecting the shield.
He's not protecting Roger Goodell.

Speaker 1 I'm actually just happy he showed up because usually for the big game, he's, you know, questionable, if not doubtful.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, I'm shocked that he didn't sprain his MCL walking up to the podium.

Speaker 1 It's actually his elbow, is what he always says. Both.
He gets that funny bow.

Speaker 1 Ow.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's got weak knees too. Goodell, credit to him, showed he's a real locker room guy, gave him a nice little pat on the butt.
And then Mariota gave up.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure that Goodell didn't even tell Mariota that he was going to be giving a speech. Yep.
He was just like, hey, get up there and say something so I don't have to talk the whole time.

Speaker 3 Mariota goes, let's do this.

Speaker 3 Basically, he goes, aloha, aloha.

Speaker 1 Let's go, guys. And then obviously when Roger Goodell comes out, the heavens open up.
Torrential rainpour comes down.

Speaker 3 Opposite of heavens opening up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, no, the heavens open up, and then rain comes down.

Speaker 3 So angels came down

Speaker 1 to facializing. The skies, yeah, and then it's just everything comes down.
Yeah. You don't know.
Heaven and hell are just whatever you make of it.

Speaker 3 That's fucking deep.

Speaker 1 That's too deep for draft night. All right.

Speaker 3 First pick. Dave Gettelman then is sitting on a cloud.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll get to Dave Gettelman. First pick, Kyler Murray.
Everyone expected it. Everyone knew it was coming.

Speaker 1 Kyler Murray, in his pre-draft interview with Susie Colbert, who I think Susie Colbert might be taller than him, says that his favorite movie of all time is Great Gatsby.

Speaker 1 That is the biggest red flag we've ever seen.

Speaker 3 If you're going to pick a DiCaprio movie, it should be Catch Me If You Can, if you're real quick on that.

Speaker 1 How about The Beach?

Speaker 3 Oh, The Beach is a solid one, too. It's really good.
You want to talk about it? We'll spoil the ending later.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But anyway, Great Gatsby, either it's a try-hard move to be like,

Speaker 1 I love movies that were books, or

Speaker 1 you're just lying because there's no one on earth who thinks the Great Gatsby is their favorite movie. Right.

Speaker 3 Also, I'm pretty sure Kyler Murray is the kind of guy that likes the Great Gatsby because he thinks Gatsby is cool as hell. Right.
And he throws these sick parties and is just a boss.

Speaker 1 He does the Leo dance 15 years after it was cool.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there was nothing cool about that book or that movie. Yes.
I'm on the record.

Speaker 1 Facts.

Speaker 1 Call Scott Fitzgerald. He also, Kyler Murray's pick also proved that anytime any coach anywhere gets in front of a media row and says, this is my guy,

Speaker 1 it's not his guy. My guy.
He's told Rex is my quarterback by Lovey Smith. Cliff Kingsbury, February 12th, 2019, said, Josh is our guy.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.

Speaker 3 My guy is my guy is the kiss of death. Yes.
That would be a pretty awesome kiss if it's coming from Cliff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's long as stuff like that. Well, if he's wearing his sunglasses.

Speaker 3 So then we've got, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 On record,

Speaker 3 Cliff Kingsbury, not as hot as earlier reported. Yes.

Speaker 3 Then you've got Josh Rosen dealing with the fallout. Yep.
So we all know that he has a problem with authority. Now he's going to have a big problem with his authority because

Speaker 3 he doesn't really have a position anymore.

Speaker 3 It's not going to be an open competition. They're trying to trade him, trying to ship him to like the Dolphins or somewhere like that.

Speaker 3 I think that they should probably wait. We were talking about this earlier.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 3 here's the thing: on draft night, your draft picks are worth so much more in your own brain than they really are.

Speaker 3 So, no team is going to give up, I don't think, a second-round pick for Josh Rosen because, in their minds, it's like, whoa,

Speaker 3 it's a surprise package. It's a mystery box.
Yes, it could be something awesome. It's probably not.
It's probably going to suck. Right.

Speaker 3 But in your head, it's like, this could be my franchise guy right here.

Speaker 3 So, teams are more reluctant to trade away high picks on draft night than they might be, let's say, first couple weeks of trading camp or after the injury bug starts to get

Speaker 1 teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because right now, the next two months, this is actually the lowest that the Cardinals would get for Josh Rosen because they just drafted Kyler Murray and everyone's going to look at him and be like, you guys can't keep both these guys.

Speaker 1 So they got to wait until someone gets injured. A Teddy Bridgewater injury.

Speaker 3 We don't root for injuries.

Speaker 1 We don't root for injuries, but that would be when to trade them.

Speaker 1 It's still going to be very awkward to have Josh Rosen and Kyler Murray in the same QB room if he somehow stays on the team for like the next three months.

Speaker 3 Right, and it also matters how gruesome the injury is going to be. Yeah.
Because the value goes up.

Speaker 3 The more players on your team throw up from watching the injury, the more you're willing to part with to get a Josh Rose.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
Number two pick, also not a surprise. Joey Bosas, San Francisco 49ers.
The Bosas are now the new Gronks. It is a football family.
They're all fucking meatheads.

Speaker 1 Even the mom's a meathead. And they.

Speaker 3 She would beat my ass.

Speaker 1 Oh, kick my ass. Everyone in the Bosa family played football.

Speaker 1 And we also had the nugget that Trey Wingo threw out there that the Bosas invented the game kill the man with the ball which they did not and they also there's a 0.0%

Speaker 1 chance the Bosas called it kill the man with the ball that is not what the Bosa family would call that game at all I know what the Bosa family called I heard that come out and I said the name that I thought it would be we all know in our head we're like that's there's no chance that the Bosas called it kill the guy with the ball that's too many symbols everyone every kid who's ever played kill the man with the Ball knows that the Bosas did not call it Kill the Man with the Ball.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 Also, I thought that it was a nice touch that Bosa gave Goodell an open-mouth kiss just to show how his views have progressed recently.

Speaker 1 Yes, he did. So, Joey Bosa, not a big shock.
Same with Quinnen Williams, who was going with gray on gray on gray.

Speaker 1 Also had braces, which I always love.

Speaker 1 Bettering yourself, about to be a millionaire, fucking love it. That's actually a great pick for the Jets.
They were trying to trade, but it's a good pick nonetheless. No, I like it too.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's like I would much rather have a dude with braces than a dude with Invisalign. Yep.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 Cleland Farrell was the first shock of the night, who a lot of people, this is my favorite thing about mock drafts, is we basically just base it off of this consensus that gets formed where everyone kind of cheats off of each other's mock drafts.

Speaker 1 And they're like, well, that guy wasn't supposed to be picked at four. It's got to be a bust.
Now, I do probably think it was a reach. You probably could have got him later, but whatever.

Speaker 1 John Gruden's his own man. And remember, they don't have any scouts in the room, so they probably didn't even have like a mock draft in front of them.

Speaker 3 That's true. It's like if you go to a store with a bunch of money in your pocket, then you don't care.
You're going to buy something at the impulse rack, like at the checkout.

Speaker 3 You'll throw money at it. So they come into this draft with three first rounds.

Speaker 1 Three first pounds.

Speaker 3 So they're just like, fuck it. I'm spinning.
I'm spinning like it's going to go away.

Speaker 1 Right. And it's just going to happen and whatever.
We don't care about where a guy should go and whatnot.

Speaker 1 We also got the cool fact: his father, late father, rest in peace, Cleavester. One of the greatest names I've ever heard.
That's fucking cool.

Speaker 3 Clefter and Cleveland. Clevester.
That's fucking good. That is awesome.
That is really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Clevester's looking down from the heavens at his son being drafted. Okay, at number five,

Speaker 1 Devin White, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and we thought there's only one person who can give us the breakdown here. It is our good friend Stephen Shea.

Speaker 1 He works senior draft analyst. Senior draft analyst Stephen Shea.
He works on the second floor. He's also the producer of the Yak.

Speaker 1 He's also just a good friend because he's a football guy through and through.

Speaker 1 He's going to say right now, PFT, that he didn't cry, but I saw tears in his eyes. And Stephen Chee is a grown-ass man.

Speaker 1 He's a father, and he had tears in his eyes when the Bucs drafted Devin White with the fifth pick, linebacker, sexy. Stephen Che, the Bucs minute starts now.

Speaker 6 My Tampa Bay Buccaneers were on the clock. Number five, blue chip edge rusher, Josh Allen, unexpectedly available.

Speaker 6 I would have thought he would have been the pick. Head coach Bruce Aaron.

Speaker 3 He fell to seven. That's where Josh Allens go.

Speaker 1 That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I would have thought that he would have been the pick since

Speaker 6 the head coach Bruce Arian said if you draft for need, you get fired.

Speaker 6 The Bucs just recently lost a middle linebacker from LSU, Quan Alexander, who actually plays exactly like Devin White, so that's his pro-comp.

Speaker 6 They took White, who I do like.

Speaker 6 I would have liked a little bit more value. It's very uncommon to draft middle linebackers high

Speaker 6 in the top five, especially.

Speaker 6 But you know what?

Speaker 6 If he's a good player, it's going to be a great pick.

Speaker 3 Now, my concern is that he wears number 40, and that number 40 jersey in Tampa Bay belongs to the one, the only Mike Allstott.

Speaker 3 So he said that he wants to wear number 40 if he goes to the Bucs, right? Correct. What do you think about just doing an Oklahoma drill? Just mono-mano.
Winner gets to 40. Who you got in that one?

Speaker 6 I mean, low man wins, and it's hard to get lower than the A-train.

Speaker 3 That's true. That's true.
That thing runs underground.

Speaker 1 Stephen, I got to ask you a question. So you did cry.
You did not cry. No, there was tears in your eyes.

Speaker 6 I was in a state of shock for a little while.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so but it sounds like you've talked yourself back into this, right?

Speaker 6 I mean, any guy that puts on the red and pewter, I'm going to root for.

Speaker 1 Red and pewter. Who doesn't know the red? We all know that.

Speaker 1 We all know that. Okay, last question, Stephen Che.
You're about to go home. You've been here for however many hours, 12 hours today.
You're going to go home. You're going to go into your house.

Speaker 1 You're going to look at little Jameis Che, your son. He did name his son after Jameis Winston.
A little problematic, but after Derek Brooks. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 But anyway, are you going to whisper anything like, hey, we got a stud? Are you going to be like, daddy's not so happy? It's going to be a tough year.

Speaker 6 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I know you will.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, it's going to be a good year.

Speaker 6 Everybody's undefeated right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 As I stated early in the rundown, I deal in the currency of hope, and it's payday.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 There we go. So that's the Bucks Minute.
That was the Bucks Minute with Stephen Shea from Tears.

Speaker 3 We'll be doing that once every

Speaker 1 draft. Every draft from Tears to somewhere in the middle of I Feel Okay.
Not a full-on cry.

Speaker 3 His draft rate is, I was crying, but it wasn't out of despair. It was just out of uncertainty.

Speaker 1 If there's one day you can cry, it is draft day. There's a lot of tears on draft day.
So it's okay. Stephen Shea, thank you so much.
The Bucks Minute.

Speaker 6 I trust Station Light.

Speaker 1 We're going to do it. That's the

Speaker 1 worst confidence ever. Okay, that was the Bucs Minute.

Speaker 3 That's the longest we're going to spend on the Bucs this year, I guarantee you. It's that and singing the Jameis Winston song.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, let's hold off on that because Jameis Winston could do something very embarrassing, and we'll probably spend at least two minutes on it. Jameis? No.

Speaker 1 The sixth pick.

Speaker 1 The New York Giants selected a quarterback at a Duke, Daniel Jones. The shock of the draft.
I became addicted. I didn't even know I was addicted to this until it happened.

Speaker 1 I was addicted to giant fan reactions. We had

Speaker 1 Archie Manning basically pulling the trigger. He has the David Cutcliffe connection.
They drafted a guy, like, here's where the Giants need credit.

Speaker 1 They drafted just like a, like we said on Wednesday, a more boring Eli. Yeah, so it's more the one.

Speaker 3 It's Eli Manning with less pizzazz, which is a Gettelman wet dream. Yeah.
He's nutting himself when he saw that. Here's a quote from the Duke coach David Cutcliffe.
You ready for this?

Speaker 3 Daniel Jones embraces something we believe here. Real swag is no swag.

Speaker 1 So no swag, Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 That's a great nickname. Looking at his face, he looks like a Bollywood version of a Manning.
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like they're like a junkyard D-list, like straight-to-lifetime Manning family movie. Daniel Jones is playing the part of Manning.

Speaker 3 Probably Cooper. Like if Eli Manning got hit in the face with a frying pan.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what he looks like. And guess what?

Speaker 1 Now Eli gets another like five years because Daniel Jones is going to be terrible.

Speaker 1 It was actually, when you think about it, a genius move by Dave Gettelman because what he did here was he drafted a guy who everyone, all the Giants fans, would be like, look, we drafted a guy like, you know, top 10.

Speaker 1 We have our quarterback of the future. He's just going to suck.
And we can keep Eli going. And people can stop saying, when are you going to get your quarterback of the future? Yeah, it's a good move.

Speaker 3 Anytime you're a GM and you can take a quarterback that might not be that great in the top 10, you have to do it just because it extends your job for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's good. Dude, quarterback.

Speaker 3 I actually have a theory that he is a member of the Manning family. I think there was some hanky-panky that went on, and Archie's got another kid running around by the name of Daniel Jones.

Speaker 3 You tell me that's not an alias? Yeah. Daniel Jones is the most fucking alias name I've ever heard.
Absolutely. He is a Manning.
He's a Manning through and through.

Speaker 3 He's been a camp counselor at the Manning Passing Academy two years. Okay, he's got deep connections.
He goes to Duke with the Cutcliffe guy. I'm doing some more homework on this.

Speaker 1 Sounds like Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it does. He is.
He's the rightful heir.

Speaker 1 He's the rightful heir to the Manning family. And he's also like, he's the child probably of a little bit of incest, so he's probably got a little something wrong with him, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's the third or the fourth Manning, if you count Cooper, which we don't really count.

Speaker 1 He also, I would like to see, I love this theory. I'd like to see him breathe out of his mouth a little bit to figure out if he's truly a Manning.
Yeah. You know, that really dumb look.

Speaker 3 What they're going to need to do is put like a medical grade pinwheel in front of his mouth and just register how fast the air is coming out, and then they'll know.

Speaker 1 You are a man. Eli, you're safe.
You are safe. It also was great because he gets drafted, and the first thing that ESPN put up on the screen was how his siblings are also athletic.

Speaker 1 That really tells you how much tape this guy has and how good he is. When the ESPN's scrambling, they're like, whoa, oh, wait, his sister plays field hockey and his other sister plays soccer.

Speaker 3 Look out. I actually do believe that.

Speaker 1 Look out, Bosas.

Speaker 1 This is a real athletic family.

Speaker 3 I actually would believe believe that he would call the game kill the guy with the ball.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 3 He is a guy that.

Speaker 1 No, tag the guy with the ball.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Tag. Yes.
Or tag the person with the ball because he was probably playing with sisters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also you don't want to assume gender. Well,

Speaker 3 yeah. Right.
I guess so.

Speaker 1 Right. The Jones family does not.
Okay. Right.
So, Eli, you're safe. This is.

Speaker 1 There's no way that he wouldn't have been there at 17.

Speaker 3 You know what's going to be so funny is when he turns out to be a good quarterback? No. No, no, he's not.

Speaker 1 He's not.

Speaker 3 But he might beat the Patriots twice in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 That's true. He could just be terrible and then luck into a Super Bowl.
You never know. And it would be a hilarious

Speaker 1 manning.

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 3 Sorry.

Speaker 3 Does that offend all your rings? No. Okay.
I feel like Patriots are good enough where I can say whatever the hell I want about them, and you should just be like, I don't care. I'm a champion.

Speaker 3 All right. Which is what you do anyways.

Speaker 1 Next up, Josh Allen. Seventh pick, Jaguars.
Jaguars D is going to be so fucking good. I can't believe he fell to this.
I thought we heard from Stephen Shea. He thought he was going to be a buck.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't have been shocked if he was taken by the Giants who need a lot of help on the defensive line. But I love when teams be like, yo, we have an awesome defense.
Let's just make it even better.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's really fucking good. We watched him play.
As soon as we found out that there was another Josh Allen out there, we started watching his tape. And he's really, really good.

Speaker 3 Kentucky was a great team this year, and he was by far the best player on that team.

Speaker 1 And credit to us, we got another Josh Allen drafted, seventh overall. Yeah.
So good job, boys.

Speaker 3 That'll be forever known as the Josh Allen zone. Way to go.

Speaker 1 Way to go. We are Josh Allen

Speaker 1 Factory.

Speaker 7 It's Josh Allen now, right?

Speaker 3 Jash is next.

Speaker 1 Fresno Shakespeare. He's coming up.
I don't think Jash is next.

Speaker 3 No, we're going to speak into existence.

Speaker 1 All right, Jash is going to be next. TJ Hawkinson

Speaker 1 from Iowa to the Lions was the eighth pick. The most Iowa guy-looking guy ever.
He was wearing a gold tie.

Speaker 1 His face, his hair, like he never has seen a hair product. I love him.
Like, that's the type of guy.

Speaker 1 If you lined everyone up, you'd be like, wait, that guy only cares about football and probably doesn't even have anything else outside of football.

Speaker 3 No, he did look like you dipped a

Speaker 1 corb, was it a cob of corn? Yep.

Speaker 3 Cleaned that up for us. Corn cob.
He looks like, yeah, he looks like a corn cob dipped in a vanilla sundae. Yeah.
And with like a little bit of caramel on top of it, maybe just a touch, just a touch.

Speaker 3 So is Iowa, Iowa's now a tight end you? It is.

Speaker 3 So him and Noah Fan got picked following up on Kittle's success, which proves that that's the one position that you don't have to actually do that much in college to get drafted in the NFL.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't be surprised if at some point in the next couple years, just some basketball player who's never played on a football field, Zion would have been a first-rounder at tight end.

Speaker 1 You just catch 30 balls and everyone's like, whoa. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That guy. He's awesome.

Speaker 1 Ed Oliver to the Bills. Shout out to Bills.
Another defense getting better with their defense. Ed Oliver.
So

Speaker 1 did you see Sean McDermott's quote?

Speaker 3 The one about the Cheerios.

Speaker 1 Well, did you see what preceded that? I did. Okay, so Sean McDermott said about Ed Oliver, you could feel him, presence, energy.
The closer you got, the more you felt the quickness, power, the juice.

Speaker 1 Sean McDermott definitely smelled Ed Oliver, like sniffed him up and down.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's describing him like you would describe a uranium core. Like a power plant.
The closer you got to him, the more your skin started to tingle. It's a very football guy coaching.

Speaker 3 And then they asked him what he means by that feeling, and he compared it to driving down the interstate in downtown Buffalo and smelling the Cheerios factory.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's right. Awesome.
That's right. Be afraid, Hank.
Be very afraid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his smell, his power, his presence.

Speaker 1 It's like Sean McDermott definitely just got really when they said goodbye to Ed Oliver on his team visit, he definitely gave him a very, very like tight hug for that lasted five to eight seconds too long.

Speaker 3 And he already rocks the Zubaz. Yep.
Already knows about diving through tables. Most people in Buffalo, you can smell before you see, but that's just like the beer coming out of the vine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. That's beer and wings.

Speaker 3 Beer and vinegar, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wings coming out of their pores. Devin Bush, 10, which I'd like to think it was partly a fuck you to L'Avion Bell because Devin Bush did do that thing in Michigan State Stadium, Spartan Stadium.

Speaker 1 He ripped up their

Speaker 1 center logo and the 50-yard logo. So good pick for the Steelers.
They obviously traded up. First time they had a top 10 pick since 2000, which is insane.

Speaker 1 Coming off the heels of extending Ben Rothelsberger. Thank God we have have Ben Rothsberger for at least three more years.

Speaker 3 And Manning, too.

Speaker 1 And Manning. And we have, so we're going to hop ahead here to what we talked about at the beginning, Dan Snyder.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Draft genius. Now, here's what happened at 15.
PFT and I were watching the draft, and we actually had the real conversation.

Speaker 1 Will Dan Snyder not draft Dwayne Haskins here because he didn't have to trade up for Dwayne Haskins?

Speaker 3 Yeah, he loves the splash.

Speaker 3 He likes a quarterback that he moves up to get. The chase.
That's what he does.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, we can have this for free.

Speaker 3 He doesn't want it. He's like, fuck that.
He's a guy that would second-guess himself and be like, well, no other team wanted him, so he's not that sexy of a pick, I guess. I might go take it.

Speaker 3 I'm thinking somebody got to old Dan tonight. Somebody kept him locked in a meat cellar somewhere.
Good draft. He's probably hanging out with Tom Cruise.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Taking some recreational ambience.

Speaker 1 And they got Montez Sweat, too. And also, I mean, like, if you are bad, having a franchise, drafting a franchise quarterback is the only way to at least be fun.

Speaker 3 Now there's hope. Right.
Now there's hope. One of two things happened.

Speaker 3 Either Snyder was locked away away somewhere or he's spent the last several years giving all his money to develop that pill from Limitless and now he's like a super guru big brain Dan Snyder.

Speaker 3 Just going crazy. I think that Dwayne Haskins is he's the perfect fit.
He is a Snyder guy because he was charging 50 bucks per head to get into his own draft day party. That's such a Snyder move.

Speaker 3 He was probably charging like $35 to get in if you want to sit behind my fat uncle on.

Speaker 1 Well, what was parking?

Speaker 3 What was parking? Yeah, parking outside was $120. Yeah, but obstructed view seats at Dwayne Haskins' draft party, they were discounted.
$25 for those.

Speaker 1 Let's be honest, though, Dan Snyder just drafted him because Dwayne Haskins played high school football at the same high school that Dan Snyder's son went to.

Speaker 3 Million percent.

Speaker 1 Million percent. That's why.

Speaker 3 It was a combination of that and also the pick just falling into his lap. Right.
And it's like, don't fuck this up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he was like, hey, guys, I watched tape from this kid since high school. I know.

Speaker 3 You know, he thought about taking Drew Lock.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right?

Speaker 3 Drew Lock was in the back of his mind. Yes.
But I think he made, I'm excited about the Dwayne Haskins pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, mean, it's going to be an exciting pick. I think he's going to be good.

Speaker 3 Washington Sports is back.

Speaker 1 First Big Ten quarterback taken since Carrie Collins in the first round, 1995.

Speaker 3 He had a very long career.

Speaker 1 Big Ten does have, I think, the most Super Bowls, though, so that counts, right?

Speaker 3 I'll absolutely take that.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's pretty much just Tom Brady has won them off. Well, no.
Russell Wilson, Drew Brees. Come on, come on.
Shout out to champions. Shout out.
All right.

Speaker 1 Other notable picks that we got to throw out there.

Speaker 1 Dexter Lawrence went to the Giants, so they actually did take a guy who will help their team, unlike Daniel Jones.

Speaker 3 They took a running back to compete with Saquon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they took a running back to compete with Saquon. No, they took a lot of time.
No, Texas Lawrence.

Speaker 3 He got a couple carries.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's the guy who did steroids, but we said we believe

Speaker 1 because he was like, I don't know how it happened. We're like, I don't know, dude.
I kind of believe you.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Dabo Swinney was like, oh man, we're just all really disappointed.
We can't believe that this happened. He's a good kid.
We're like, yeah, I believe you.

Speaker 1 That's got to be it. Great recruiting job on my brain.

Speaker 1 We had the Raiders take their other two picks.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of what else. Oh, I had

Speaker 1 one other note here.

Speaker 1 The Packers took two defensive players, so they're very scared of Mitch Trubisky. That's it.
That's the way you can think of it, right? I mean, what else would they

Speaker 1 need help everywhere, right?

Speaker 3 I mean, Savage is really good. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 he better be good because Mitch Trubisky is going to carve him up.

Speaker 3 Going to tear that ass up.

Speaker 1 Tear that ass up.

Speaker 3 Let's see who else. Yeah, Sweat.
We talked about Sweat.

Speaker 1 Hollywood Brown.

Speaker 3 Was he the only wide receiver taken?

Speaker 1 No. The Patriots took one with a 30-second pick.
Nikael

Speaker 1 Harry from Arizona State. Okay.
Who's actually a stud. A Herm guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love when guys get taken.

Speaker 1 This is like a very degenerate gambler thing, but I love when guys get taken from the Pac-12 because you're like, oh, I've watched tape on him, but it's really, you just gambled on a game at like 11 p.m.

Speaker 1 at night on a Saturday. And you're like, oh, he's a stud.
Oh, yeah, that's a big dude, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he is fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 I stayed up late a couple times.

Speaker 1 Yeah, gambling on him. Yeah, you're absolutely.
Oh, yeah, you know. That guy's a pick.

Speaker 3 Good pick. Good pick by Belichick.

Speaker 3 The other thing I had was Jacobs went to the Raiders in their second pick. He's running back out of Alabama.

Speaker 3 Only thing you need to know about this guy comes from the mouth of Lewis Riddick, who said this guy loves to finish on guys.

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice.

Speaker 1 That should help.

Speaker 1 He will finish off. I mean, Marshawn Lynch was a guy who loved to finish on guys.
Absolutely. Love to finish through guys.
Big finisher. In guys, through them everywhere.

Speaker 3 And in Oakland, you get to finish on guys at third base. True.

Speaker 1 Perfect for you. One more year.
One more.

Speaker 1 One more year. All right.
That was the NFL draft. We'll talk about it more on Monday's show because we have the other fucking.
Fuck the NFL for making this so long now.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 3 I kind of liked it when it was Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but no, the best was when it was Saturday, one, two, three, I think even four,

Speaker 1 maybe some years, and then Sunday was five, six, seven. So Saturday was basically 10 a.m.
to like, you know, 8 p.m.

Speaker 3 10 a.m. is too early for my brain to look at football.
Tailgate.

Speaker 1 You get so much. Tailgate

Speaker 1 draft. Yeah.
In your living room.

Speaker 3 Nashville did a great job, I'm told.

Speaker 1 Great job, Nashville.

Speaker 1 Except for those poor ladies who wanted to have a bachelorette party and they didn't know the draft was happening.

Speaker 1 One of the best clips ever when they're like, yeah, we had our bachelorette party planned forever. Not like the draft isn't planned for like five years in advance.

Speaker 1 And they showed up and they're like, we tried to go to Broadway.

Speaker 1 And there was just guys in lucha libre masks and yelling and people wearing offensive linemen jerseys and screaming and chugging beards.

Speaker 3 There was a man in a Vikings jersey with his face painted and Goldilocks braids down to his knees yelling at me about a center from NC State.

Speaker 1 They just want it for the Graham, and they got all these fucking guys just getting shit-faced on Broadway.

Speaker 3 You know what the NFL should do is they should have each round of the draft in different cities, and every year it should just be Nashville, Austin, New Orleans, and Charleston, South Carolina, and just fuck up everybody's bachelorette post.

Speaker 1 Wait, one more. And the bleachers at Wrigley.

Speaker 3 And the bleachers at Wrigley. That's it.

Speaker 1 And that's all the spots.

Speaker 3 Just going on a mission, fucking up every bachelor and bachelorette party.

Speaker 1 Every single one.

Speaker 3 By the way, if you have a bachelor party at the draft, that's just cool as hell. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fucking cool. That means you're doing it right.
Yeah. Just fucking getting crazy.

Speaker 3 I got tickets to the draft.

Speaker 1 We went to all seven rounds.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 We got to talk about something.

Speaker 1 The Capitals. Turns out it wasn't their year.

Speaker 3 It's still our year. We're still the champions.
We're still the Stanley Cup champions.

Speaker 1 Will you be be doing Soggy Sorrows?

Speaker 3 It's funny you asked that, Pigette, because I did bring

Speaker 1 something in.

Speaker 3 You didn't know I was going to do this.

Speaker 1 Well, I was hoping you were going to. You were going to bully me into it, but I was just going to ask.
I just asked. Oh, no, you're wearing a hat.

Speaker 1 PFT's wearing a hat, and he just dropped, I would say, about

Speaker 1 a quarter of a cup of water on his head. I'll do another one.
I'll do another one.

Speaker 1 You know what? No, that's actually the perfect Soggy Sorrows. That was so sad.

Speaker 1 Hey, that was so sad. Don't even need to do more.
That was so sad what he just did. That's Socky Stars right there.
I'm giving you credit. Full credit.
You know what?

Speaker 3 When I brought this in here, I made a mental note to take my hat off so I wouldn't get this sweet-ass part of my take hat on sale now.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the caps are

Speaker 1 eliminated. They were up 2-0, 3-1 in the game 7.

Speaker 1 PFT might have jinxed them.

Speaker 3 No, I didn't jinx him. I did not jinx them.
A lot of plans being made.

Speaker 3 No, listen, I did have it in my brain that the Stanley Cup was ours and that we'd never give it back and that we were just going to win.

Speaker 3 there was a very small part of me that truly believed that we would have the Stanley Cup forever, right? We would just never lose another playoff series.

Speaker 3 And so that was kind of tough. It was more about me just accepting the fact.
I was in denial after we lost.

Speaker 1 You were.

Speaker 3 I was like, no, this is not how this ends. Right.
I'm a champion.

Speaker 1 We're champions. Double overtime.
It is a very like because it really is just so boom, it's over.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 listen, game sevens in general are tough to watch as a fan.

Speaker 3 And overtimes, I was just ready for it to be over. I had pretty much resigned to the fact that we were going to lose after the first overtime period.

Speaker 1 But in the back of your head,

Speaker 1 we're going to win. In the back of my head, we're going to go to the Eastern Club.

Speaker 3 I was like, we're going to steal one. We're going to steal a golden.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to go to Vegas. Oh, wait, no, I jinxed them.
I can't wait to go to Toronto. Oh, wait, no, I jinxed them.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Here's the deal. Hamilton the pig was a problem for us.
I did not account for Hamilton the rally pig. Yeah.

Speaker 3 If I had known going into the series about the rally pig, probably would have been a different story. And you guys threw out all the stops.

Speaker 1 Oshi comes out, gets the crowd whooped up. There was that weird,

Speaker 1 like, game sevens for teams. I think it happens when, like, if this was two years ago, actually, I don't know.
Game sevens are weird when the crowd starts to feel that dread.

Speaker 1 And it's not, I'm not calling D.C. a bad sports town.
No, you can. But it did feel, didn't you feel like you're not going to be able to do that?

Speaker 3 Actually, no, fuck you. They kept the Metro open until like one o'clock last night.

Speaker 1 Didn't you feel like the energy in the barn, like in that first and second overtime, it felt just eerie. Yeah.
And you can feel it, and it's like, I don't know about this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I did feel that. And

Speaker 3 the worst part about that loss is just accepting the fact that I'm not going to have anything really to root for for the next month and a half.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I liked that a lot last year. Having something to live for, being able to feel like the feeling of, okay, hope.

Speaker 1 We can do this.

Speaker 3 Happiness. That's the word I was looking for.
Yeah, happiness. Being able to feel happy about sports.
And it's very strange for me to feel happy about one of my sports teams.

Speaker 3 But I'm going to miss that. And I realize that the only thing that I can do to make up for that giant hole is going to be gamble more heavily on the sports that I am watching.

Speaker 3 So that's going to be a problem for me. I can tell you already, I'm going to start putting way more money than I normally do on these games.

Speaker 1 All right, so last question for the Caps. You know we love storylines.

Speaker 1 Will Ovie ever win the big one?

Speaker 3 No, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't think he has the clutch change.

Speaker 1 Hey, verbal meme, Ovie lifting up the Stanley Cup, but the Stanley Cup is actually just golf clubs. Yeah.
Listen, I got to trade him.

Speaker 3 Got to trade him. Not a winner.
Got to trade him. Yeah, so

Speaker 3 I will say this. I'm sick of seeing that little new power play that they were doing last night.
It's not really a new power play, but they did it every single time. I think they call it the slingshot.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It bleeds about 20 seconds off the clock every single time they do it.

Speaker 1 You got to wind it up.

Speaker 3 Got to wind it up. Was not happy with that, but you know what? We're still champions for another

Speaker 1 few weeks. Okay.
And Hank,

Speaker 1 you want to talk about the Bruins? They won a game seven since we last taped.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, I kind of know exactly what PFT is talking about. I'm just excited that I do have that opportunity with the Bruins and the Celtics.

Speaker 7 You know, the one thing that PFT, you guys can probably relate to this, but like their schedule, there's just so much going on that it's like, you know, it's like a full-time job just watching these Celtics and Bruins games, but that's the price you got to pay.

Speaker 1 You're going to get paid for it. Yeah, you're going to have to take a vacation after this.

Speaker 1 That's another one.

Speaker 3 This is a lot of work.

Speaker 3 I will say, though, that everything happens for a reason.

Speaker 3 And the fact that I have not watched Game of Thrones until this season took a little bit of the sting out of that loss because the Hurricanes tweeted out,

Speaker 3 you have to bend the knee to us. And so I did not understand it because I do not watch the show.
Yep. So that was, I feel like I was totally vindicated for not watching Game of Thrones until now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that went right. Like, you don't have to feel the pain.

Speaker 3 Everybody was like, that was such a sick burn by.

Speaker 3 And I was like, I'm really glad I'm ignorant.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're getting to the saturation point. I'm part of the problem, big part of the problem of Game of Thrones.

Speaker 3 There's a symptom of the problem.

Speaker 1 The thing is, though, there's

Speaker 1 four weeks. I know, yeah, you're right.
It can happen.

Speaker 3 And honestly, this week's episode looks like it's a kick-ass.

Speaker 1 We're going to get to it. We're going to get to it.
I wrote down some notes. I have some major thoughts, and we have some theories, too.

Speaker 1 All right. We also need to talk quickly before we do our Fire Fest of the week.
NBA Playoffs. We're going to have the most boring game seven of all time with the Spurs and the Nuggets.

Speaker 1 That series is still going on.

Speaker 7 I've watched like four of those games and I don't remember anything.

Speaker 1 No, nothing. And they've all been bad.
All the games have been bad, and it's game seven. It makes no sense.

Speaker 1 Since we last taped, Damian Lillard put his nuts on the fucking ground, and Russ Westbrook's Thunder have officially been canceled.

Speaker 1 I think it is like you got to trade someone there because it doesn't work anymore. Playoff P.
And playoff P. Playoff L.
And Damian Lillard

Speaker 1 had like the greatest troll.

Speaker 1 He did the goodbye after he hit like a 40-foot or whatever it was. And then Paul George got all salty and was like, that was just a bad shot.
It was a bad shot. Like, bro, what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 He made it. It was a bad shot, but sometimes bad shots are good.

Speaker 1 And also, they call him, like, one of his nicknames is Logo Lillard because he can shoot from that far out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think there, I kind of understand what he's saying because in general, you would let a normal person take that shot.

Speaker 1 Okay, but here's the thing. Damian Lillard had a good response to it.
He said there was two seconds left. I obviously wasn't driving.
What are you doing giving me that space?

Speaker 3 Yeah, here's my reaction. If it was a bad shot, I wouldn't have made it.

Speaker 1 Right. And I'm happy that Damian Lillard is getting some shine because he is a top 10 NBA player, and it's awesome to see him

Speaker 1 stand up in the big moment,

Speaker 1 especially after last year.

Speaker 3 and I want them I want the Blazers to get to the Western Conference finals is this going to help bury the hatchet between Kevin Durant and CJ McCollum the fact that they dispatched Russell Westbrook yes absolutely Katie might go back on his fucking podcast so we should bring up Kevin Durant's Warriors because they are Kevin Durant's Warriors first I made a drunk note when I was watching the I was watching the thunder the other night this is after the pup punk show I got back to the hotel room okay watched the end of it you know how I said I was pissed off about not having Steven Adams mic'd up all the time

Speaker 3 I found the perfect analogy. Watching Stephen Adams without sound is like listening to porn without the images.

Speaker 1 That's kind of hot, though.

Speaker 3 Just listening to it?

Speaker 1 Every now and then?

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, it was kind of cool seeing him yell at him and point his finger, but

Speaker 3 I needed the sound to really get me there.

Speaker 1 Let me clarify. It's not that hot listening on your TV, but if you're live, listening is kind of hot.
If you're live...

Speaker 3 Like if your roommate is jerking off. No, you're roommate.

Speaker 1 You're listening to his porn through the light. Damn.
That's not what's going on over here. I do love it.
No, it is porn. It's just without the camera.
Yeah, which you're saying, there's no camera.

Speaker 3 You're just, yeah, you're just a peeping Tom.

Speaker 1 It's just Tom. You're listening to sex.

Speaker 3 You're just a peeping Tom.

Speaker 1 Well, no. You're a voyage.
You're peeping, listening. Use your ears, not your eyes.

Speaker 7 You're just walking down the street.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Someone going to the window.

Speaker 1 You hear some sex, and you're like, huh, let me just sit here and listen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's all I'm doing. Listening.
That kind of thing. That's it.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 My favorite is when I can hear the neighbors and Leroy does the head tilt to the side, like, hmm?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How long do they last? How long do they last?

Speaker 3 I've never heard of sex sounds in my life because I'm PFT's dog. How long do they last?

Speaker 1 Not that long. Okay, good.
I don't want to.

Speaker 3 Makes me feel good about myself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like that.

Speaker 3 I would move. I'll put it this way: long enough,

Speaker 1 but not that long.

Speaker 1 So the Kevin Durant Warriors, because they are Kevin Durant's Warriors. Steph Curry is injured again.

Speaker 1 At what point, I still think they're going to win the title, but at what point do they keep losing, like, you know, they've lost two to the Clippers now, and they looked bad at certain points and turnovers and all that bullshit.

Speaker 1 At what point are we like, hey, maybe they aren't going to win the title?

Speaker 3 I think they still are.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 3 Don't look at me. Good for us because we have a bet with Hank where there's absolutely nothing on the line.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you see Draymond Green just completely own Steve Kerr in the press conference?

Speaker 3 We're going to play my music.

Speaker 1 That is.

Speaker 1 Let's just say this. This is the end of the Warriors.
Like, this is their last run.

Speaker 1 They either win the title this year and go off as, you know, three in a row, all that shit, or they lose and everyone goes their other way and hates each other.

Speaker 1 And we get an awesome book that Steve Kerr will hopefully write in like five years.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they're like they're roommates in college that loved living with each other, but by the start of that fourth year, it's a summer after graduation, and they're lease is up for another two months, and they're like, Well, we're all moving to different cities.

Speaker 3 You got two guys who are like, Come on, let's just do one more year, right? Let's just chill in this town. Like, we'll get we'll get serving jobs, it'll be awesome.
Take a victory lap.

Speaker 1 Two of them aren't talking. Yeah, yeah, it's just it's getting a little awkward in the apartment.

Speaker 1 Dishes are piling up, There's a lot of shit. There's a lot of angst going on.

Speaker 1 All right. Firefest.
Firefest of the week before we get to Coach Fisher.

Speaker 3 Hank, why don't you start?

Speaker 7 So this weekend, we were at Rough and Roddy in West Virginia. We took a flight home.

Speaker 7 Big Cat mercilessly mocked me. Well, I was getting a little scared during turbulence, but that's not my Fire Fest.
Hank, you should mention it was a side note.

Speaker 1 It was a private jet.

Speaker 7 It was a private jet. I didn't want to say it.
You had to say it.

Speaker 1 No, well, you said it.

Speaker 3 Well, you said it.

Speaker 1 But, I mean, everyone, you don't think it's...

Speaker 3 So your Fire Fest is riding on a private jet.

Speaker 7 And you have a wheel of turbulence that that no that's a side note my fire fest was that when we landed my ears didn't pop for five days straight and so like for the whole week I couldn't hear anything

Speaker 7 got to the point but usually it's like

Speaker 3 I heard the levels on the last pop it's like a day or two

Speaker 7 but by like by like Tuesday and Wednesday I just assumed that I was never gonna hear right again you could just go underwater just just no I was trying to do it I was doing the thing where you like hold your hold your nose and blow out yeah no no no I was trying to do it all for like an hour and I was like I think I'm just I'm resigned go underwater and never come up your ears will not be clogged anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'll, yeah, your hearing will be great.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 1 So, do that next time. Drown yourself.

Speaker 3 That's Chicago slang, as we learned from Derek Rose.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 Exactly. I didn't really mean kill yourself, everyone.

Speaker 1 All right, PFD, you go.

Speaker 3 Mine also has to do with airplanes. So, I'm Tuesday night.
We play the show. Actually, I'm going to switch it up.
Skeet Skirt,

Speaker 3 here's the real Fire Fest of my week. We were playing down in ECU, at ECU, in Greenville, North Carolina.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry, You got a day.

Speaker 3 Yeah, our band was playing. Pretty cool.
And it was a great show. Thank you to everybody that came out.
It was so much fun.

Speaker 3 And we were going to close our set by playing All I Do is Win, like a punk cover of it.

Speaker 1 I have a feeling this is going to be an all-time brag.

Speaker 3 And halfway through the set, our guy, Gaz, comes on stage and whispers to all of us, hey, you can't play All I Do is Win because T-Pain's here, and he's going to come out and perform that right after you're set instead of you.

Speaker 1 This is brutal. What a fire fest.

Speaker 3 So we were all ready. It was going to be our best song of of the night.
Then we had to stop, and now everybody remembers that as a T-Pain concert and not a pup-punk concert.

Speaker 1 Fuck. What a fire fest.

Speaker 7 You can watch the whole thing on stool scenes.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Oh, the entire thing.

Speaker 7 Not the entire thing, but

Speaker 1 clips.

Speaker 3 Clips of it. Okay, yeah, it was like an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 All right, my fire fest of the week is the entire month of April's weather. And I actually am going to make a contention here.
There's going to be a very bold take.

Speaker 1 You guys are going to tell me I'm the dumbest person ever. Just let me explain myself.
April has the worst weather of any month.

Speaker 3 Fact check, false.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's why. Because you can't fucking plan for it.
It's cold. It's still the winter.
Then it's hot. Then it's cold again.
Then it rains.

Speaker 1 You can't, like, I would rather at least know January is going to suck no matter what. I can just fucking bundle up.
What are you planning for? Just stop. Let me finish.

Speaker 1 The other part about April is for us husky guys out here. This husky guys only can listen to this part.

Speaker 1 April is the first time where the sun comes out and it gets warm and you realize the 15 extra pounds can't be hid under a sweatshirt anymore and it is absolutely terrifying.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this is actually the best month for jumpsuits.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 3 Jumpsuit April should be the best. It's the easiest way into yeah, yeah, because they're so versatile.

Speaker 3 They really are. They're like the Swiss Army knives of clothes.

Speaker 3 You can put on the sweatpants, put a t-shirt on, and then put the sweatshirt over top, boom, take the sweatshirt off, you're just rocking a cool tea.

Speaker 1 Exactly. And as someone PFT, you were overweight in April.
for a few days. Apparently.
Yeah, no, you got on a diet, but don't you realize

Speaker 1 that? When it gets warm out, that first day that it's warmout and you're like, shit, I actually have to wear a t-shirt and nothing else, that's a terrifying day.

Speaker 1 That is the worst day of the year for me, every single year.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I thought that medium t-shirts, they were making them smaller this year.

Speaker 1 It's like, wait, hold on. And then you become

Speaker 3 European size.

Speaker 1 And then you become the guy who's wearing a sweatshirt when it's 80 degrees out and everyone's like, dude, aren't you hot? That's the worst thing to get. Aren't you hot? Like, yeah, I'm really hot.

Speaker 1 But you know what? I'm also really fat, and I don't want to show that through my t-shirt that doesn't fit.

Speaker 3 Okay, so April is a very inconvenient month

Speaker 3 for weather, but it's not the worst month.

Speaker 1 I just, I'm saying worst in terms of like, I just know, I like to know what I can, like, I just, if it's January, I know it's going to suck. I can plan for it.
Hank, shut up. I can plan for it.

Speaker 1 I know it's going to suck. I can deal with it.
I like things that are consistent in my life. I don't like change.
I don't like up and down.

Speaker 3 That's why I can't deal with April. Also, we're guys, and I have no problem wearing a t-shirt on a day that I thought was going to be warmer, and it ends up being a little bit chilly.

Speaker 3 I can power through that. I'm a dude.
Like, this is the NFC North, right?

Speaker 3 But if it's raining halfway through the day, and then it stops raining, it's tough to walk around in a t-shirt in the rain.

Speaker 1 Fucks you up. Yeah.
And we're not going to use umbrellas. We're guys.
We don't do that.

Speaker 3 So I did see a woman, as it was drizzling a little bit today.

Speaker 3 I saw a woman crossing the street, and she didn't have like an umbrella or anything, but she had a plastic bag that she put over her head, a clear plastic bag

Speaker 3 that she was just wearing over her head as she was crossing the street. I was like, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, way to go. Good for her.
Way to go.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Coach Jeff Fisher.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, recurring guest. It is Coach Jeff Fisher, and we brought on Coach to talk a little draft.

Speaker 1 I pitched this idea to you, and I'm excited about some of these stories. What it's like to be in a draft war room, what it's like on draft night,

Speaker 1 how all of it works together. So let's just start there, like big picture, just the basics.
What does a draft war room look like for a coach?

Speaker 5 You know, you're, I mean, if you, if the listeners have watched TV, they're going to see those draft cams in all the draft rooms. And guys, some guys have suits and ties on.
Some guys have

Speaker 5 their stuff on. And everybody's sitting around a conference table.
And what's funny now, I mean, you know, this is like a Monday night game.

Speaker 5 You know, you got all day long to wait for kickoff, and the weight's just a killer.

Speaker 5 And so, I mean, there's, you know, there's Copenhagen flying around and chips and salsa and, you know, sunflower seeds and crossword puzzles because it's just a weight.

Speaker 5 And so, you know, the thing doesn't get going until, you know, until it's kicked off.

Speaker 5 But the room itself, I mean, visualize a conference, a big conference table in the middle of the room, and then you get four walls, and you've got charts on every wall. Your first wall,

Speaker 5 the main chart that they're looking at, is the player chart, and it's the draft eligible players that they've been ranking for months and months and months by position.

Speaker 5 So, for example, you'll have, you know, start with the quarterbacks, and

Speaker 5 the top one that the clubs got rated, he's at the top. His card sits up there, and they got the quarterbacks rated from one to whatever.
And they have, so they go by position offensively.

Speaker 5 So, you go quarterbacks, running backs, tight ends, et cetera, et cetera. And then you work your way all the way through defense.

Speaker 5 So, guys are just staring at the board, looking at all these players, wishing they could get them all, but they know they can't.

Speaker 5 And then on the other boards, you've got probably a blank board, which is where that card's going to go after he's selected, and they'll put him under teams and things like that.

Speaker 5 So, you got a bunch of boards all over the place, and people are right now just sitting around staring at each other. And there's a lot of work that goes into it, and it really doesn't get going until

Speaker 5 somebody's on the clock.

Speaker 3 When your team is on the clock, how much chaos is going on in that room, or is it more that you've done your work and you know exactly what the plan?

Speaker 3 Do you know who you're going to take before it becomes your pick?

Speaker 5 It really depends on where you're picking.

Speaker 5 I mean, on the clock, I mean, you're you're on the clock, you should have a pretty good idea. Depends on the round, and so on, and so forth.

Speaker 5 But, I mean, you can sit on the clock and get the player on the phone and make sure

Speaker 5 that he's okay.

Speaker 5 That's a tradition that everybody does.

Speaker 5 Now, we're talking about later picks, not the first round, but the second round is: all right, get it. We're on the clock.
We've got our guy. Get him on the phone.
Make sure he's okay.

Speaker 5 Make sure he didn't get in a car accident. Make sure he's not in jail.

Speaker 5 Get him on the phone. Let's talk to him.
And

Speaker 5 that is, you know, that's a a whole nother topic, but that phone call that that player gets is the most memorable phone call in his lifetime.

Speaker 5 When that phone rings and he answered it, and it may not be the head coach immediately, what we like to do is we give it to the area scout and say, hey, get him on the phone, make sure he's okay before we turn the card in.

Speaker 5 And the area scout will call him and say, hey, this is John Smith with the... with the Tennessee Titans.

Speaker 5 Stay on the phone. I got coach for you.

Speaker 5 Just a minute. And you could hear it all go wild behind them in the room, you know, with the family and stuff.
But that phone call is a once-in-a-lifetime phone call. So anyway, you're on the clock.

Speaker 5 You know, teams are going to trade. Try to get into your spot.
If the teams have done their work, they've called you before you get on the clock.

Speaker 5 Picks, maybe two or three picks, or maybe rounds before. It's like, hey, would you want, are you going to stay there?

Speaker 5 Would you want to move down? And, you know, all right, well, we'll think about moving down. What do you got for us?

Speaker 5 And then, you know, you'll talk numbers and talk picks and talk players and do all those kind of things. And, you know, if you move, you move.
If you don't, you stay. And then you take your guy.

Speaker 1 What's

Speaker 1 so the hierarchy in terms of decision-making? Because obviously in NFL teams, some teams, the owner gets the last say, or I guess the owner always gets kind of the last say.

Speaker 1 But some teams, the owner's more involved. Sometimes the GM who gets the final say, the coach.
What has it been like in your experience?

Speaker 1 And when you don't have the final say, if you were ever in that situation,

Speaker 1 would there be a spot where you were just arguing for your guy and you're just like, all right, I got to walk away because there's just nothing I can do?

Speaker 5 Well, I think in those cases, what you do going in is you agree to disagree. If you can't agree on a player, then you have to go on to the next player.
But it should be a consensus.

Speaker 5 It should be a feel-good thing with everybody in the room. Now, yes, some owners are in there and some are very, very involved, and some other owners aren't.
And it's, you know, like Mr.

Speaker 5 Conkling with the Rams. We call Stan and tell him, hey, we're two players away, and this is what we're looking at.
And, you know, we're thinking about either going this way or that way.

Speaker 5 And he goes, great, good luck. You know, versus

Speaker 5 a very active owner who's in there with the pick. I got one great story for you.
This is funny. When I was with the 49ers way back when, 92, 93,

Speaker 5 there was a tradition there, and Carmen Paulsey, who was the president, he got to come in and make the last pick.

Speaker 5 It was just like that was what they did. So I remember him walking up to the board.
I think it was the final pick, something close to that.

Speaker 5 But he walked up the board, he looked around, and he grabbed this quarterback, and his name was Elvis Gerbach from Michigan.

Speaker 5 And he said, I like this guy because there's so few vowels in his last name. So we took Elvis.

Speaker 5 But, you know, some guys will pick, and, you know, some owners obviously have a lot to do with the say, but, you know,

Speaker 5 it's the head coach and the GM and the director of player personnel that are that are making the decisions.

Speaker 5 And it's always going to be, regardless of who makes the decisions, it's always going to be a we thing.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 sometimes I've been in draft rooms where, okay, guys, I know there's some disagreement here, but when we put this card in, this is our pick.

Speaker 5 And you put all of the opinions aside and it becomes the organization's pick.

Speaker 3 Out of all the drafts that you've been in, is there one that stands out to you where there was a lot of disagreement about that first pick?

Speaker 5 In the first-round pick, no.

Speaker 5 No, I can't say that because the first-round picks are, I mean, they're there. You know, you've done so much work, and you've gone through your own mock drafts, and you've gone through everything.

Speaker 5 So, I can't say disagreement on there's frustration that takes place in different rounds. You know,

Speaker 5 you'll be looking at your board and say, for example, you've got a linebacker up there that

Speaker 5 you've kind of set

Speaker 5 as your ideal third-round or fourth-round pick. You're like, this is a steal.
Here's our steal. Here's our guy on the fourth round.

Speaker 5 And the guy comes off the board the end of the first or the second, and you go, whoa, we missed this? Right.

Speaker 5 You know, then all eyes go on the scout or the people that put the grade on him, you know, and so on and so forth. But not a lot of disagreement with respect to picks.

Speaker 5 Now, do you want, where the emotions really, sometimes you have to keep them in check is when all of a sudden you're getting ready to trade.

Speaker 5 You know, the aggressive trade up during the draft is very emotional, but you're doing it for a reason. You want to go get your guy.

Speaker 5 Those true, most of those big trades that take place, and like here we're getting ready to go tonight, but most of the big trades take place.

Speaker 5 The ones I've been involved with, the Washington Redskin, the RG3 trade in 2012, or the golf trade where we went to one with Tennessee, those took place weeks, maybe a month beforehand.

Speaker 5 So, you know, you got plenty of time to do that. But when you start trading around or trading down out of a pick, you better have done your homework.

Speaker 5 You know, and with all these smoke screens and all this stuff going on, the one thing that I think people miss, and I think it's one of the most important aspects of the draft, and we saw somebody out, I think, and you guys probably talked about what happened at Oakland when he just excused everybody

Speaker 5 and said, I don't want anybody in the room. Well, because they don't want any information.

Speaker 5 Then I read something where Gil Brent said they planted some stuff and caught a scout leaking some information. But keep this in mind.

Speaker 5 You know, everybody in the room knows how your organization feels about players. But the thing you've got to be careful of is

Speaker 5 those teams that may be just one pick or two picks above you.

Speaker 5 Those are the ones you've got to watch out for. Because if they get any sense for who you want,

Speaker 5 then it's game on, and you got to be careful. And I give you a great example.

Speaker 5 In our first draft in 1995, it was an expansion draft.

Speaker 5 So you got Carolina, Jacksonville, and Houston. And that was my first draft as a head coach working with my longtime good friend Floyd Rees, his first draft.
And so we're working together.

Speaker 5 The night before, Carolina rumors, there's going around that they're going to trade out to Cincinnati, and Cincinnati is going to to go up and get Kajana Carter.

Speaker 5 So we felt that was probably going to be a done deal. Number two now is Jacksonville.
So Coach Coughlin's first draft expansion team. They already got their quarterback through the expansion draft.

Speaker 5 They got Brunel. And we're hearing that they want Tony Bisselli, the offensive tackle from USC.
And we're three, and our guy is McNair.

Speaker 5 And our guy is McNair to the point where Bud Adams, Mr. Adams, our owners, got his airplane in New York ready to fly Steve back.
So word was out that Steve was our guy. So guess what?

Speaker 5 Jacksonville's on the clock now, Kajana Carter goes to Cincinnati. Jacksonville is on the clock, and Tom Coughlin calls.
And he goes, Hey,

Speaker 5 he said, We're sitting here, and

Speaker 5 I'm getting some calls from people down below us that want your quarterback.

Speaker 5 And we're thinking about trading out of this spot.

Speaker 5 And then it was like Floyd was like, Oh shit.

Speaker 5 So he says, what do you want? And Coach Coughlin says, we'll take a fourth and we'll trade places with you. You get your quarterback.
I'll get our guy and we'll go on. We'll be happy.

Speaker 5 Floyd hangs up the phone. Well, we go back and forth and back and forth.
Off of him a sixth, no, offer him a fifth, no.

Speaker 5 And at that point, you know, we kind of, I just, we had a sense that they're bluffing. They're going to take their tackle.

Speaker 5 And so for two minutes after we said, no, we're going to stay put, it was tense.

Speaker 5 And then when Commissioner Taglebu gets on the speakerphone there in the draft room, you can hear him say, with the second pick in the 1995 NFL draft, the Jacksonville, and as soon as he said Jacksonville, we were relieved.

Speaker 5 Jacksonville took Baselli. We got McNair.
So basically, the point is that they knew who we wanted. They were going to try to bluff a pick out of us because they knew who we wanted.

Speaker 5 Fast forward 2000, I don't know, whenever we had the Hainsworth draft in Tennessee, we were picking 12 or 13.

Speaker 5 The New York Giants are behind us, one pick behind us. And we got, I think we got New Orleans ahead of us, and we're hearing New Orleans is going to take a receiver stalwart out of Tennessee.

Speaker 5 So we're hoping that either Hainsworth or Buchanan, the Philip Buchanan receiver from Miami, follow. Those are our guys that are pick.

Speaker 5 And as it starts to unfold, New Orleans goes on the clock, and we got both of them. We're staring at both of them.
So we get to pick between

Speaker 5 both the guys that we coveted. So we knew that the Giants wanted Jeremy Schockey, the tight end, right? So guess what? We stand up.
I stood up in the draft room.

Speaker 5 I go, anybody want to get a pick real quick? We'll get our guy. You guys want to see if we can pick up a pick, a late round pick? Yeah.

Speaker 5 So we call to New York and say, hey, we're getting ready to trade out of this spot because somebody wants your tight end.

Speaker 5 And Ernie, of course, he goes, oh, shit. And he hangs up.
He calls back. He says, what do you want? I said, well, we'll take a fourth.
And he hangs up again. He calls back, says, You got it.

Speaker 5 So we drop, we switch with the Giants. They get the tight end.
We, we, we, we go to one pick below, and we get hangs for it.

Speaker 5 And then about an hour later, Coach Fossil calls and said, Hey, man, how's it going? Congratulations, you got your guy. We got our guy.
Everything's happy. He goes, How about did they

Speaker 5 so-and-so want the tight end? And we go, Who?

Speaker 5 And he goes, Son of a bitch. Oh, that's the land and hangs the phone.

Speaker 1 That's so good.

Speaker 5 That's good for things that go on.

Speaker 5 But the point is, is that, you know, with all the smokescreens and all this and all the posturing and all the talk and speculation and everything, if somebody above you knows who you want, watch out.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Because

Speaker 5 that's where it gets tense.

Speaker 1 I love it. It's like a big game of chess, but it's, you know, Jeff Fisher and Andy Reid

Speaker 1 and all the guys we love to watch on Sundays. So

Speaker 1 can you remember a time when maybe you did stay

Speaker 1 and you know someone called and you and you called their bluff and you're like, all right, well, hopefully they're bluffing.

Speaker 1 Do you remember a time when a guy got taken before, maybe a pick or two before, and he was your guy and ended up being a great player? And you're like, gosh, we missed on him.

Speaker 1 I would have loved to have a chance to take him, but he got taken right before?

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, I'll give you a great example. It was our first or second year in St.

Speaker 5 Louis, and I had gone to, my youngest son was playing at Auburn, so I went down, it was a bye week or something, and I went down and watched Auburn against Utah State, I think it was.

Speaker 5 And this linebacker dude was just wrecking the Auburn offense.

Speaker 5 And so we get fast forward, we get into that next offseason. I'm kind of

Speaker 5 going back and looking at some tape and

Speaker 5 find out that the linebacker's name was Bobby Wagner.

Speaker 5 And I'm doing the research, and we got, it was that player I mentioned about earlier. We got like a fourth or fourth round grade on the guy.

Speaker 5 And, you know, you can't look at everybody, but I just felt the guy was just late and late. Just, you know,

Speaker 5 this guy's going to be really good. Maybe we got him graded too low.

Speaker 5 And, you know, we get in that, we get, I don't know, we got it in the third round and we're looking at him, but we thought, oh, no, we were told or convinced that, oh, no, he'll be there next time around.

Speaker 5 You're reaching for him. No, we got to take this guy now or he's going to be gone.
And sure enough, you know, we pass. I don't know who we took, but then he's gone the next pick.

Speaker 5 and then, you know, you don't get a great player. So, you know, those kind of things happen.

Speaker 5 You know, you get frustrated with them, and then you go back and you do your, you know, your due diligence, and how did we miss on this guy? And, you know, it's not necessarily misses.

Speaker 5 It's more of people, covet people, and they've got players that fit, they like, and so they're going to go out and get their guys.

Speaker 5 And it's, you know, it's that old, you know, do you draft need or you draft best athlete? Well, you know, you better go get your guys.

Speaker 5 You know, if you're going to draft a little sooner, then that's okay. And I always like, you guys know how I felt about this.
I always like the draft grades that are going to come out on Monday.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 5 These teams are going to get A's and B's and C's and D's and all kinds of stuff by all the experts that will watch them for the next three hours and over the weekend, and they're going to give everybody grades, but they don't circle back three or four years after.

Speaker 5 So that's when you really grade the draft. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do you ever actually catch yourself looking at those grades that come out?

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, you thumb through them. Yeah.
I mean, I'm taking seriously, just laughing.

Speaker 5 You get even more pissed off about guys that are talking about things they don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 I remember right after the Seahawks drafted Russell Wilson, the lead bleacher report writer at the time,

Speaker 3 they drafted Russell Wilson, Bruce Irvin, somebody else. I forget, but it said, I don't think, I don't see a single starting player out of this entire draft grade F.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's good.

Speaker 1 I want to jump back.

Speaker 3 Actually, that draft real quick. You mentioned the trade with the Redskins where I think they gave you four picks for the right to move up to get Robert Griffin.

Speaker 3 And then, of course, later on, when you were playing against the Redskins, you sent out all those players as captain for the coin toss against RG3.

Speaker 3 You denied that you knew what you were doing, but just admit that you knew what you were doing.

Speaker 5 I don't know if I denied it. I was the one that had to leak it because no one recognized it.

Speaker 5 Game was over, and it was actually, you know, you're just going to,

Speaker 5 as a head coach, you got the game, you have a parent stuff, and, you know, you have your three captains that are picked. They're your captains for the season.

Speaker 5 And I always pick the, you know, one or two guys based on performance or based on something just to be a captain each week. And I'll give credit where credits do it.

Speaker 5 Chris Long, he came up with the idea. He comes by my little office there at the stadium.
He goes, hey, I had a great idea. I go, what's that? He goes, why don't we?

Speaker 5 I go, shit, man, I wish I'd have thought about that. Yeah, I'll do that.
So anyway, we send the six guys out there for the coin toss that that we got in the trade. And then the game, we won the game.

Speaker 5 The game's over. And there's no mention of it.
And so I actually had to leak it to actually. It was Jim Thomas, one of the sports writers in St.
Louis that we had done it. And it came out.

Speaker 5 And then it became a big deal. But, you know, it was all in fun.
And Daniel and Bruce loved that stuff. But yeah, so.
So, but that thing was done. That thing was done.

Speaker 5 We had two trading partners, and it was done in March. I mean, you know, we were dealing with Mike and Bruce and

Speaker 5 Mike Shanahan, and then our other trading partner at that time was Cleveland. And we just felt like we had the best deal with Washington, and we went ahead and did it, you know, way ahead of time.

Speaker 5 Now, I can't remember off my hand when

Speaker 5 it was announced, but that thing was done. We had plenty of time.

Speaker 5 You know, Indy wanted Andrew, and Mike and Daniel just love RG3. And gosh, we had a private workout with them.
We loved him too, but we had Bradford.

Speaker 1 Right. You know,

Speaker 5 we had a great quarterback.

Speaker 1 Did you, you know, as you get longer into your career as an NFL hug coach, are there certain guys that you are more inclined to do trades with?

Speaker 1 Like, if we're looking at the draft board tonight, watching it on TV,

Speaker 1 we don't know the inner workings. Are there certain teams like those guys will link up because they know each other, they trust each other, and they've done deals before with each other?

Speaker 1 Or is it just kind of all-fair game? You'll pick up the phone from anyone.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 when the phone, to answer your question, it's, I mean, you do have a relationship over time with people, but yeah, during the draft this weekend, everybody's everybody's best friend or worst friend.

Speaker 5 You know, they just, the phone rings, and hey, it's someone. Hey, Jeff, this is so-and-so with so-and-so.
Yeah, how's it going? Go, how you doing? I'm doing good. How's the kids? Good.

Speaker 5 Boom, boom, boom. Hey, do you want to stay there or you want to move? Well, you know, once you get, get back with us here.
We'll consider moving. And then, you know, they never get back with you.
So

Speaker 5 it's game on. Everybody's calling everybody.
I I mean, if you're trying to get up, all of a sudden something happens, and it usually happens in the later rounds. You know, hey,

Speaker 5 you know, guys are going off the board, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And all of a sudden, your board's not looking good.
You want to go up to get this guy. And now

Speaker 5 you got to start calling teams. You'll have five or six guys in your room making calls at one time.

Speaker 5 You know, and so it's like, hey, who called the Giants? Well, I did. What do they say? No.
Okay,

Speaker 5 what about the Packers? No. Yeah.
What about Miami? Yeah, they're up. They're warm.
They'll consider it, you know, and now you got, okay, so we got two people that are interested.

Speaker 5 All right, get them on the phone kind of thing. You know, it's that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What about, so you have your group of scouts, and this is maybe more of a human nature thing that I always wonder if like human nature, how we interact with each other, leaks into an NFL war room.

Speaker 1 Is there like if one guy screws up, maybe a scout has, he loves this guy and he ends up being a bust, and then you guys are in the heated discussion a few years later being like, should we take this guy?

Speaker 1 Should we not? Did anyone will anyone like hold it against him? Be like, yeah, but you loved XYZ three years ago, and he was a bust, kind of like nagging each other and going after each other?

Speaker 5 I mean, yeah, I mean, guys can, but you know, understand the hierarchy.

Speaker 5 You know, you have a general manager, then you have a director of college scouting, director of player personnel, and then you've got your scouts, and you've got area scouts, and guys that one guy will be in charge of an area, and then you'll have other guys cross-check.

Speaker 5 And so, you know, you've got a lot of opinions on a player. it's just not one and so

Speaker 5 and then there's so much discussion that goes into ranking in the player and and everything that you know it really is a collaborative effort and it is a team grade on the player okay so you know and it is I mean it as people say it's it's an imperfect sign hey you know I don't know if if you know I don't you know without any disrespect but I don't know if New England drafts any better than anybody else right They might just coach better.

Speaker 1 Right, right. They coach better.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 5 No, and it's probably a bad example because I'd say they probably do.

Speaker 5 They know they probably spend more time and have a different system than most, and they're very, very detailed and are going to go get their guys.

Speaker 5 But the point I'm trying to make is that you're going to miss. Yeah.
It's just, that's just, it just happens. But, you know, you can't afford a high miss.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, those are the ones that set you you back.

Speaker 5 It's those top picks that don't turn out to be something, especially at the quarterback position. But when you go roll the dice and get somebody high over time,

Speaker 5 that sets a franchise back. Because you were counting on that guy.
And that's why

Speaker 5 big picture, guys, in the NFL, this is just a piece this weekend.

Speaker 5 But you've got to combine nowadays, you've got to combine your draft effort and your players and those that you draft in addition to the post-draft, you know, the rounds seven through 12 we call them now, which is the undrafted free agency, the college free agency immediately after.

Speaker 5 That's where you get your players. But more importantly,

Speaker 5 you're building your team through free agency and through the draft. It's a combination of both, and you've got to have a good feel.

Speaker 5 And so, you know, I mean, for example, you know, as a team enters pro-free agency back when the calendar year started, and they're, you know, they needed a defensive inning to pass rusher, and they're looking at the college prospects in the upcoming draft.

Speaker 5 They go, this is a good year for rushers.

Speaker 5 All right, well, maybe we'll see what we can do then, and we'll just roll the dice here and get one of the draft rather than go out and overpay for somebody, you know, that may or may not have worked out.

Speaker 5 And so it's a combination. When you build your roster, you're going to have to use both markets.
And the drafts are just one of of the markets that the league has just happened to, we just have to

Speaker 5 blow it off the face of the earth right now from a tension standpoint.

Speaker 3 Coach, every year, it seems like about this time, the week before the draft, a bunch of Wonderlick scores get leaked. Did you put any stock at all in the Wonderlick test?

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. Yeah, you do.
But

Speaker 5 the best way to describe this, it's unfortunate that that stuff gets leaked, number one.

Speaker 5 But number two is the Wonderlick test is, you know, you go, gosh, these guys, the league's been using a Wonderlick test for 40 years. Yeah, you want a baseline.
But so stock in it,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 we have seen over the years players that had near-perfect scores, high 30s, that could not play football.

Speaker 5 And then we've had guys with really poor tests that were football geniuses.

Speaker 5 So you have to, you know, you use it as a,

Speaker 5 you know, maybe a trigger or just an indicator. You know what? He's got a low test.
He tried it three times. This test is right around single digit.
Maybe

Speaker 5 9, 10, 11. We've got to do some more research.
And guess what? Lo and behold,

Speaker 5 there may be some, what do you call it, alphabetic or numeric dyslexia involved.

Speaker 5 Maybe he can't read.

Speaker 5 He sure, sure shit can learn football. He just can't read.

Speaker 5 So it's one of those things where, okay, if the test is low, then let's go find out why the test is low.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 And then if you've got a guy that's going to have a hard time processing football and life and so on and so forth, then you stay away from them. And that brings up another point where, you know,

Speaker 5 teams have different philosophies, whether they, you know, you grade players and for whatever reason, if there's an off-the-field issue or there's something that the player has done in the past where the club has said to themselves, you know what,

Speaker 5 this is a good player, but we don't want him on our roster because because of our

Speaker 5 organizational philosophy. Then that guy goes on another board, or he goes up on your board with a different colored card, and you know he's there.
This is his athletic ability.

Speaker 5 This is where he's going to go in the draft, but you know what? We're not going to take him because he's got that color card, and we don't want him as part of our program.

Speaker 5 And so, you know,

Speaker 5 those are just some nuances that are involved there. But circling back to the Wonderlick, it's really unfair that that stuff gets out.
But that is

Speaker 5 just a baseline. It's a starting point.
There's so much testing that goes on and interviewing that goes on. Clubs have a pretty good idea about the players' ability to learn.

Speaker 1 All right. I have one last question for you, Coach.
It's the SeatGeek question. You put in promo code TAKE, you get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
Thank you to SeatGeek for being a sponsor.

Speaker 1 Your Twitter game,

Speaker 1 talk us through what's going on right now because it's been electric. You've been all over Twitter.

Speaker 1 When did this kind of awakening happen?

Speaker 5 Well, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 5 I got my butt drug across the asphalt for two years in social media. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 5 And I just kind of decided that maybe it was time, not to get even, but just to get involved. And so it's like anything else, man.

Speaker 5 If you're going to do something new, you're going to need a little bit of help. You want a little bit of training.
You want someone that knows what they're doing.

Speaker 5 And so I got involved, you know, well, I opened I had my Twitter since I was going to

Speaker 5 climb Kilimanjaro and I opened the Twitter account, the Twitter thing, before the climb.

Speaker 5 And I got to Amsterdam because I was going to report back on my climb and I couldn't get cell service, so I never used it. So I had some followers back in.
So it was there, but it wasn't active.

Speaker 5 So I just activated it and, you know, I'm having a blast with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's awesome.

Speaker 5 I mean, the gift thing, man, hey, you know, I'm not going to details, but people know how to do it. Just go down there and

Speaker 5 just put your word in and pick the right thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, don't give away the secret sauce.

Speaker 1 Coach, coach, coach. Hold on.

Speaker 1 You're giving away the game.

Speaker 5 You guys are the best because you guys know that this is me. Some people go, oh, no, he's not doing that.
No, yeah. I am.
I took the time. You know, I'm not fighting back, but, you know,

Speaker 5 enough was enough. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Good for you, Eddie. But just don't overuse the gift.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 No, no, no. No, I think it's an opportunity.
You don't want to, you know, you don't want to put anybody down. No.
But it's an opportunity to just show an emotion. Yeah.
And

Speaker 5 I'm happy to, if any of the listeners want, you know, want some instructions on how to do it. I'm happy to.
I was at Whole Foods the other night. This dude comes up and taps me on the shoulder.

Speaker 5 I got headphones on it, you know, kind of mind my own business. I get some dinner and some food.
And the guy testing my shoulder i turn around he goes he goes coach i love that twitter stuff

Speaker 5 whoa

Speaker 1 first time i heard that it's a cool yeah you connect with people and it's it's a different side of uh you know you're getting in on the conversation i think you're right on that well that asphalt was pretty hard

Speaker 5 yep yep um raw ass for two years and it's like you know what this isn't right yeah well no we like it we like an opportunity to put the truth out there that's for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Speaking of putting the truth out there, we were very, it was a roller coaster of emotions last week for us.

Speaker 3 There was a report out that you were in line to become the head coach of the Houston XFL franchise. And then you replied to it about two hours later saying, essentially, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 3 Have you been in talks with the XFL? And if so, is that something that has ever even come up for you?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 at that time when it was broad, I knew something had come out because I was fishing in Mexico and I just got back into service, and my phone came on, and I had waves of

Speaker 5 texts and messages, and the first wave came from a bunch of weight coaches, and the next wave came from offensive line coaches, and the next wave came from, and I knew something had happened.

Speaker 5 And so, yeah, somebody

Speaker 5 who let it out. But, no, and as I

Speaker 5 mentioned, you know, a week or so ago, I've been contacted by them,

Speaker 5 but I haven't accepted a job. And I'm just listening to them right now.

Speaker 5 It's cool.

Speaker 5 Unfortunately, for the Alliance, because you guys know

Speaker 5 I was helping

Speaker 5 that program along because I'm friends with Charlie and I have great respect for Bill Polly. And so I was kind of behind the scenes.

Speaker 5 And I was really disappointed for that to end the way it did because it's all about the players. And we're just fortunate that so many players got opportunities to re-sign with NFL clubs.

Speaker 5 And that's what this is about. It's another opportunity to give players an opportunity to play.
And, you know, it's an opportunity. It's different, but at this point, no,

Speaker 5 I'm talking to them, but I have not accepted the position.

Speaker 1 Well, we need you back in the NFL because I think you're 15 wins away from being top 10 all-time and wins. So one season.

Speaker 1 We need you back in the NFL. Hopefully, it will happen soon.

Speaker 1 Coach, it was awesome talking to to you. Hopefully, we'll see you soon.
Whether you're in New York or we're in Nashville, but

Speaker 1 keep

Speaker 1 doing what you're doing.

Speaker 5 I've got some plans to come back to see you guys.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Yeah.
I'm so much happy.

Speaker 5 It's been fun. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Can I ask you guys a question? Why aren't you guys down on Broadway?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 You know what it is? The NFL draft, we've done a couple.

Speaker 3 We went to Chicago.

Speaker 1 We went to Philly. It's not

Speaker 1 the best event to cover if you're not fully credentialed. Because, you know, it's kind of a TV network thing.
And if you don't have, if you're not part of one of the

Speaker 1 big boys, you kind of sit on the outside. So it's not like the Combine or the Super Bowl where you can get a little more access.

Speaker 5 Yeah, right. Your bar tab is just too high.

Speaker 1 Right. They don't want us to just answer the question.
They're not going to send us to Nashville to party for a weekend.

Speaker 5 Expense report.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 You can get your expense report, you know, approved.

Speaker 1 Exactly. All right, Coach.
Thanks so much. We'll talk soon.

Speaker 5 Pleasure. See you guys soon.

Speaker 1 Take care, Coach. Bye.

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Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, let's finish up with some segments. So we got some FAQs and some Game of Thrones preview.

Speaker 1 First up, we have a Sabre metrics. This came from the nerds at Harvard.
38 years of data suggests the quarterback is the most important piece of an NFL franchise.

Speaker 3 You think?

Speaker 1 No, do you?

Speaker 3 They did a study. Good study, guys.

Speaker 3 Food is the most important part of a meal.

Speaker 1 If you score more points, you'll win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fact. Score more points than your opponent.

Speaker 3 This study was commissioned by Magic Johnson.

Speaker 1 Oh, speaking of Magic Johnson, I forgot to tell you guys, the NBA, you have everything that you want in the Eastern Conference playoffs.

Speaker 1 Great coaching, great scorers, great offense, great defense, and star power.

Speaker 1 That was Magic Johnson's preview of the Eastern Conference.

Speaker 1 I fucking love it.

Speaker 3 You know what happened was somebody found out that Ryan Fitzpatrick was a decent NFL quarterback. Yeah.
And they started watching football for like the first four weeks of the season.

Speaker 3 And they're like, I need to put together a study about this because that's

Speaker 3 because that guy seems like he's really putting it all together.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like this, wait, this guy's playing well, and the team's doing well?

Speaker 1 Huh. This is, we got to, we got to put some money.
You know what? Let's do a 38-year study on this thing.

Speaker 3 Interesting.

Speaker 1 It's actually credit to this guy because he's probably just

Speaker 1 a person who's too smart for their own interests. They like, they should be all into books and hobbies and all that stuff, but they really just love football.

Speaker 1 But they were smart enough to get into Harvard and they're like, okay, how do I combine what I actually like football and the fact that I'm at Harvard?

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll just watch football for 38 years and come up with the conclusion that quarterbacks are important.

Speaker 3 And listen, if you are a student or a professor at MIT, this is a direct shot across the bow at you and your little Sloan sports conference.

Speaker 3 Harvard is coming for that ass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, the three-point shot's important? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What about quarterbacks, idiots?

Speaker 3 I put together this heat map that shows how Dirk Nowitzki's career has progressed.

Speaker 1 Oh, you should walk more in baseball. Yeah.
How about quarterbacks? Dumbass.

Speaker 3 Bunting actually doesn't lead to scoring more runs. Well, have you ever fucking thought about the fact that a quarterback makes your team kick ass?

Speaker 1 Have you ever thought about Daniel Jones revolutionizing?

Speaker 1 I can't even say it because it just, it's like I was Archie Manning was getting in my throat right there. Yeah.
A phantom ghost being like, you were about to say something nice about Archie Manning.

Speaker 1 Erin, Daniel Jones. Yeah.
Nope.

Speaker 3 Have you ever thought about how this kid that looks like he was in Dead Poet Society growing up is going to actually make the New York Giants really fucking sweet?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh man, this is going to be awesome.
Quarterbacks. They revolutionize football.
So way to go, Harvard.

Speaker 1 We have a just chill out man for Nick Sabin. Nick Sabin had hip surgery.

Speaker 3 Not like, not cool surgery, but he had surgery on his hip.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. Not hip surgery.
It was hip surgery.

Speaker 1 And he, I think it's usually a couple weeks, probably, when you get a replacement hip.

Speaker 3 No, I think it depends on what kind of surgery. Listen, as somebody who's had surgery more recently than you, I think I speak from a level of expertise here.

Speaker 3 There are certain hip surgeries that you can have where you can actually walk out of the hospital that day.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So, well, Nick Sabin took one full day off after his hip surgery, and he he had this to say.
I did some rehab at home on Tuesday and threw away the walker after one day.

Speaker 1 I've got a cane, and I'm rolling now. Sabin added that the six hours he was at home on Tuesday with nothing to do was like torture.
I don't know how people do it.

Speaker 3 So Sabin

Speaker 3 got a cane

Speaker 3 on the same day that the canes beat the cat. Now it's all making sense.
It does make sense. It does make a lot of sense to me.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just chill out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the offseason. Six hours.
Six Nick Saban didn't do anything and he couldn't bear it. It's the offseason, Nick.
You might have a problem, Nick Saban.

Speaker 3 Also, he went golfing the morning of his hip surgery to get like. I respect that move.
It's like if you're going in for heart surgery, you might as well eat a cheeseburger.

Speaker 1 Right. You might just die.
You might never come back, so you might want to just golf one last time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they're going to fix this thing later on this afternoon. So you might as well just go wreck it.

Speaker 1 All right, before we get to FAQs, we have a.

Speaker 1 So there was a thread about the wiretapping in the NCAA today.

Speaker 1 We're reading pretty long if you want to discuss. Oh, no, no, no.
Let me get to this real quick.

Speaker 1 So, there were discussions of paying for Marvin Bagley and Zion Williamson by schools that landed neither of them.

Speaker 1 Which school got both? Wait, they got both of them?

Speaker 3 Both the guys that were going to get paid for the school.

Speaker 1 Wait, let me read that again, and maybe I didn't read it right. Yeah, please.
There were discussions of paying for Marvin Bagley and Zion Williamson

Speaker 1 by schools that landed neither.

Speaker 1 No, or neither, if you want to sound like you're a fucking hoity-toity.

Speaker 3 A school that didn't land either of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 those schools that tried to pay for Zion Williamson and Marvin Bagley, they didn't land them.

Speaker 3 The schools where Marvin Bagley and Zion Williamson, with their people, were talking about getting paid?

Speaker 1 So essentially, Marvin Bagley and Zion Williamson were on the open market to be bought, but all of a sudden, no one was able to buy them except for.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude. I figured it out.

Speaker 1 Dude, he's in the reports. No, but nobody.

Speaker 3 I figured it out, Big Cat. They were going to get paid from other schools, but they said, you know what?

Speaker 3 The college degree that we'll earn from Duke in these three months is worth more in the long term. Yes.

Speaker 3 So they decided to go for the diploma, a long-term investment, as opposed to a quick infusion of cash. Yes.
Let that be a lesson to all you youngsters out there. Wow.

Speaker 1 Good job by Duke to do the right thing here.

Speaker 7 I mean, I agree. It's a terrible.
I read the article. It's a terrible look for Clemson basketball.

Speaker 3 I mean, we've talked about this before.

Speaker 7 It's like they probably had those conversations. It probably wasn't Zion.
It was probably like an uncle or aunt or whatever, family member, without even their knowledge.

Speaker 7 And once they realized what was going on and that they would probably get caught if they took money, like it's one thing to have the conversation, but to actually exchange money, like that, that becomes a whole thing.

Speaker 1 No, it's actually a problem to have the conversation.

Speaker 7 I'm sure you tell Coach K, like, Coach, like, these bad guys are offering me money. What should I do? And he's like, son, like, come to Duke.
I'll show you the

Speaker 1 way.

Speaker 3 I'll protect you from people that are trying to get you.

Speaker 1 So it's honestly

Speaker 7 Coach K, like, is

Speaker 1 probably the only good guy saving sports. Yes.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Him and Petino, because they actually said that Petino was not aware at all of anything that was going on.

Speaker 1 He trusted people too much. So

Speaker 3 good company. Petino and Coach K.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All the NCAA is corrupt except for Coach K.

Speaker 7 Yeah, until reports say otherwise.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's finish up with some FAQs and Game of Thrones.

Speaker 7 If there's 52 weeks in a year and seven days in a week, why is 52 times 7 364 instead of 365?

Speaker 7 Where's the extra day?

Speaker 3 Wait, say it again? D-Day, the longest day.

Speaker 7 52 weeks in a year, seven days in a week. Yep.
52 times 7 equals 364 instead of 365.

Speaker 1 The leap day.

Speaker 1 That pops up every now and then. That evening.

Speaker 1 That evens it out, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Ja Rule's birthday.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that does. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it, all right, so 365, so there's a five at the end of that. So it's five, ten, fifteen, but twenty.

Speaker 3 But sometimes.

Speaker 1 But that's four years. And then you add the one that's 21 divided by 7 is 3.

Speaker 1 I just fucking love it.

Speaker 3 You said a lot of numbers.

Speaker 1 That was genius math.

Speaker 3 You said a lot of numbers, and I'm doing the Zach Elfanakis meme right now.

Speaker 1 That was genius math.

Speaker 3 I'm going to agree with you.

Speaker 1 The real ones, no. The Harvard people, no.

Speaker 3 Quarterbacks are good.

Speaker 1 Big Cat can add five times four and leap

Speaker 3 or the answer to Henck's question.

Speaker 7 So this is kind of a little

Speaker 7 prelated FAQ for Monday's interview. It's a good idea, though.
PFT and Big Cat should both buy donkeys.

Speaker 7 This way, if Yellow Twins the Homer and Derby, they can have them slaughtered and eat each other.

Speaker 1 First of all, that's fucked up. I'm not going to slaughter.

Speaker 7 If he doesn't win, Brandon Walker can take care of the two donkeys down in Tapello.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to.

Speaker 3 Listen, I'm not interested in killing a donkey. Nope.
That's not how I operate. Plus, Kenny Smith already did the donkey thing for Charles Barkley when Charles Barkley had to kiss his ass.

Speaker 1 What about if we just bought some elderly donkeys?

Speaker 3 And just let them die? Yeah. Didn't feed them.

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 3 We didn't kill them. That's a good point.

Speaker 1 Keep them alive.

Speaker 3 Big cat, because

Speaker 1 we didn't put a timetable on when we had to eat each other's asses. Correct.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's correct. Seriously, if I'm 80 years old, I'll eat your ass, no problem.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I probably won't have an ass.
You'll just have people asking you when you're going to do it for the next 80 years. Oh, and I'll tell them eventually.
Yeah, soon.

Speaker 1 Hey, freak, why do you want us to eat each other's ass so bad?

Speaker 3 For the weirdo? Here's the deal. If the first person to die gets smothered by the other person's ass on their deathbed.
Done. And then the other guy eats the corpse's ass.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine how much that would suck if one of us died in the next year? It's like, well,

Speaker 1 you go show up to the funeral home. You're like, can I see that body real quick?

Speaker 3 I brought some

Speaker 3 voice telex.

Speaker 1 Do something real quick here. Okay.
All right. I'll see you.
Yeah. All right.
Bye.

Speaker 7 FAQ, Big Cat. Did you ever go multi-TV Game of Thrones? You could blow through the series if you watched two episodes at a time.

Speaker 1 No, that would be fucking insane.

Speaker 3 That would be awesome.

Speaker 1 I did go Game of Thrones, top TV, and sports on the bottom too.

Speaker 1 So I didn't.

Speaker 1 If I have...

Speaker 1 Top TV is the bigger one, right? Yeah, yeah. If I have gaps in my Thrones knowledge, it's probably because I was watching and gambling on sports underneath it.

Speaker 3 That's power TV user status right there. Do you think a guy like Neil deGrasse Tyson could put on four episodes of Game of Thrones at once and tell you what happened in a linear fashion afterwards?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the speed readers, guys who can read books in like 20 minutes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Game of Thrones challenge.

Speaker 7 Psychos that listen to this podcast at two times speed.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. Yo, people.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is wrong with you? People. What the fuck is wrong with you? You are listening to this at two times speed.

Speaker 1 You're a fucking weirdo.

Speaker 1 That was regular speed.

Speaker 3 That's even going to be fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that probably will be fast. And you guys are idiots.

Speaker 7 All right, let's get into it.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 You ready? Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the music is. I was going to let you go as long as you wanted to there.
Okay, Hank.

Speaker 1 And PFT.

Speaker 3 Don't patronize me.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I will patronize you.

Speaker 1 There is going to be a big battle on Sunday's episode. 90 minutes.
By the way, we're going to tape the show before, and then we're going to just add the Game of Thrones stuff after.

Speaker 1 That was just us planning the show live on the show. A little peek behind the scenes.
Holy shit. All right.
So there's going to be a big battle. A lot of people are going to die.

Speaker 1 I made a list of people that I would be most upset would die and people that I don't give a a fuck about and I'm actually kind of rooting for their death. You guys can comment on it, okay?

Speaker 1 People that I would most. I didn't include Jon Snow, Danny, and Sansa because I just don't think they're going to die.

Speaker 1 So people I'd be most upset if they died. One.

Speaker 1 Any of the two dragons remaining.

Speaker 3 Yep. That will be heartbreaking.
Isn't there a third one?

Speaker 1 Buddy. Are you sitting down?

Speaker 3 I know he's dead, but he's alive, right?

Speaker 1 Well.

Speaker 7 Dead guys are the bad guys.

Speaker 1 He's part of the dead crew.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I just don't want to see any dragon die.

Speaker 1 He joined the Yankees.

Speaker 3 There's no such thing as a bad dragon. It's like a bad dog.
They're all 13 out of 10s.

Speaker 1 A dead dragon kills the other two. Yeah, that's a bad dragon.
That's like a pit bull. Yeah, not good.
Okay. Not good.

Speaker 1 So either dragons. Not all pit bulls.
Yeah, Hank.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're about to get it. I get it.
Hank, anti-pit bull stuff.

Speaker 1 Still has a quarter pit bull, dude. I know.

Speaker 7 Hank, die.

Speaker 7 Not all pit bulls.

Speaker 3 Team pit bull over here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mr. Worldwide.
All right, so any of the dragons die, we're going to be very upset. Tourmond, I will be very upset.
That's the big ginger guy who's Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 3 Trials to fucking Teddy Black. He's going to die.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's for sure going to die.

Speaker 3 He's going to die, absolutely.

Speaker 7 The other thing to not only consider is.

Speaker 3 He's going to choke on a nipple.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 7 People that are going to be heartbreaking deaths and people that are going to be even more heartbreaking when they get brought back to life and then start fucking

Speaker 7 torment is the number one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because Tormund kills so many people as a dead guy. As a dead guy to dead guy, he's going to kill some people.

Speaker 3 Follow-up question. Do the White Walker zombie people, do they lactate?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 3 he'll lose his strength if he can't get that breast milk.

Speaker 1 Well, then again, their bones are very brittle. You're right.
Like, they do crumble pretty quickly. That's what I'm saying.
And then they build back up as soon as the Night King does his stupid, like,

Speaker 1 you know, he does a fucking dance pretty late. He raises his hand.
I've seen the gif. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 He's like a rude guy sitting at a fucking, like, looking for the check. Like, here, check.
You know, when someone's like, oh, here, waitress, come here. Give me the check.

Speaker 3 Like, fucking put your hand down.

Speaker 3 How come we haven't seen that guy?

Speaker 1 Because he might be in the crypt.

Speaker 7 No, so this is

Speaker 1 Cersei.

Speaker 7 We asked for submissions, and pretty much this is kind of like fading the public.

Speaker 7 The most common theory that people sent us, like what they think is going to happen, is that the Night King is on his way to King's Landing, like pulling a little Hezzy Hey. Hesse Hay.

Speaker 7 He's going to King's Landing while the rest of the Army of the Dead fighted out at Winterfell. He's going to kill everyone at King's Landing.

Speaker 7 bring them to life and then go to Winterfell the other way.

Speaker 1 Fuck them all, absorb them.

Speaker 7 But because so many people said that, I hope that's not what happens. That's true.
My biggest hope for the episode is like

Speaker 7 no one is right with their theories.

Speaker 7 I hope they just do something that's like so off script and just turns because people think it's like, okay, they're going to kill the Night King and then it's going to be Cersei and it's going to be like two different like one story ends and then they figure out the throne stuff and then it ends.

Speaker 7 I hope they just somehow figure out a way to just blend it all and then the last four episodes are just pure chaos.

Speaker 1 What if they go right up against each other in like the middle of the field and they're like, ah, we're going to fight. And then they all drop their weapons.

Speaker 1 Kendall Jenner comes out with a Pepsi and then they're like,

Speaker 1 they all fuck each other. And it's like, hey, you guys thought incest was gross.
How about necrophilia?

Speaker 1 And it's just a fucking, the last three episodes are just people fucking dead bodies.

Speaker 3 And eating their asses. And eating.
And they lost a bet to them before. I have a theory about the theories.
Okay.

Speaker 3 I think that the Game of Thrones producers have people that they've paid to go on these Reddit forums

Speaker 3 and give these theories that make total sense

Speaker 3 just designed to throw people off the scent.

Speaker 1 Well, here's what also probably happened is there's probably some people on

Speaker 1 these forums. I don't even know where they are.
Reddit, their forums, their Twitter, whatever. They were probably right with something early on because they read the book and

Speaker 1 idiots like me don't realize that the book gave some of the scripts, right? So they're like, oh, this is going to happen. And you're like, fuck, dude, how'd you know?

Speaker 1 So then they get a little taste of that sweet, sweet, I'm getting like upvoted on this forum. It's fucking awesome.
Everyone thinks I'm a genius. So now they got to do their second act, their encore.

Speaker 1 They're just making up shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so it's like the Krassenstein brothers are true facts stated

Speaker 3 on Twitter that got a few things right about the Mueller investigation.

Speaker 3 And now they're like the guy, now they're citizen journalists who fuck everything up.

Speaker 1 How weird is it when they reply to each other?

Speaker 3 Very strange. They definitely speak of Instagram.

Speaker 3 They're probably, I think they're Game of Thrones characters. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Stick the Thrones. Okay.
All right. Tormund, really sad.

Speaker 3 Brianna Tarth, very sad.

Speaker 1 If she dies. Sir, Knight, Brianna of Tarth.

Speaker 1 Sir Davos, Hank's favorite, the Onion Knight, very sad if he dies.

Speaker 3 I don't think he will. Which one's the Onion Knight?

Speaker 1 He's got a sweet accent. He's got a beard.
He's not really a fighter.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm not a fighter.

Speaker 7 He was feeding that girl soup last episode.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I remember the soup. And then he saw the woman, the girl with the fucking fucked-up face, and is like, hey, I had a best friend who was

Speaker 1 13 years old who had a face like that. That girl's like, she got burned alive.

Speaker 7 She's going to get. And the girl that he gave soup to, she's gone.
For sure. Mercilessly killed.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Arya would bum me out big time. So would Gendry.

Speaker 1 And then Padrick and Braun will round out the list of,

Speaker 1 I'll I'll feel bad for like two seconds. People, I don't give a fuck if they die.

Speaker 1 Bran, I hope that fuck gets skull fucked

Speaker 1 in the middle of the field

Speaker 1 because he's so awkward. It's the guy in the wheelchair.
I know, Lieutenant Bran. So annoying.
Yeah, Lieutenant Bran. He's so fucking annoying.
He ruins every scene. Yeah, that's a great take.

Speaker 1 Terrible take.

Speaker 3 No, I agree with Hank. It's a bad take.
I saw that someone said that

Speaker 3 Bran's been dead this whole time. Yeah.

Speaker 7 He's a three-hour even.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is. He's, what's his name in Sixth Sense?

Speaker 3 Bruce Willis. Yeah.
Spoiler.

Speaker 7 Bran can kick rocks, but

Speaker 7 my favorite part of Game of Thrones is like the lore, like the old school flashbacks, like tying all that shit together.

Speaker 1 So if he dies, all that stuff goes away. I don't care.

Speaker 1 Theon, that dickless fuck. Has Bran ever fucked? No.
No.

Speaker 1 He's like 12. He should have been fucked.
No, he's not 12. Well, he's seen.

Speaker 3 Fuck. Yeah, he's seen fuck.

Speaker 7 Jamie. Someone, speaking of Theon, someone, this is a funny theory.

Speaker 7 They said Theon's going to shock the world by revealing he never has a cock or never lost lost his cock, bang Sansa, kill the Night King, and be given the Iron Throne as a result.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would be sick. Uh, Grey Worm, don't care about him either.
Sick of him, he's gonna die. He's just like,

Speaker 1 dude, you're falling in love with this girl, and all you can do is eat her out. And that's cool, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 Like, you're probably really good at cunnelingus, but I just don't care about this love story. I'm sorry,

Speaker 3 it can never be consummated, yeah, right,

Speaker 1 right. And Jorah rounds that out that list.

Speaker 1 If Jorah dies, it's like, dude, you should have, you spent seven seasons being in the friend zone, and then you died fighting for her just one time, just be like, hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 We should get married.

Speaker 3 Do you think these eunuchs are allegorical for the anti-circumcision movement? It's like, hey, circumcising somebody is analogous to cutting their entire package off.

Speaker 1 Isn't there a dream, a recurring dream where, oh, no, that's your teeth falling out. I was going to say maybe foreskin falling out.
Maybe it's

Speaker 1 a message for mental health. Like, everyone's losing their dick, and it's actually all a big dream.

Speaker 3 That's interesting, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then Samuel Tarli, I like when he dies, it's just going to be kind of fun.
I'll actually probably laugh. And that doesn't mean I don't like him.

Speaker 1 It's just he's like, oh, sorry, didn't see you there. Oh, I was reading this book.
Oh, and it's like, he's just going to die. He's just going to be like, oh, I got stabbed.

Speaker 3 He's the guy that stole all the books. Yeah.
Nerd.

Speaker 7 What about Jamie and Tyrion?

Speaker 1 No, Jamie, I don't really care if he dies. I mean, I guess it'll be a little emotional.
Tyrion's not going to die, so I don't count him.

Speaker 7 I hope Tyrion dies. In the last episode, he was like, I'm going to die in Winterfell.
And he said, maybe after I die, I can go kill. Like, he, like, foreshadowed that he's going to go kill Cersei.

Speaker 3 Who's the guy that slept with the girl that grew up?

Speaker 1 That's Gendry.

Speaker 3 Gendry's going to die. Yeah, he probably will.
Yeah, he's too sympathetic of a character.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 He's a nice guy.

Speaker 1 Pretty much everyone's going to die on Sunday. And I don't know.
There will be a range of emotions. It will be some that I will feel really bad, and there's some I'll laugh.

Speaker 1 I get really, like, when I watch very intense things, like, what Sunday will be, I kind of laugh at awkward moments.

Speaker 1 Kind of like when I laughed at you when you thought you were were going to die on the turbulence. Like, I don't know.
It's just something I have.

Speaker 3 Ser Brienne of Tarth, I think she's dead too.

Speaker 1 Oh, she's for sure dead. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, she's going to be harping. She was so happy.
She was so happy when she was knighted.

Speaker 7 She'd be another one. Her and Torman, if they come back as fighters, like, that will be.

Speaker 1 They will kick ass.

Speaker 7 Did they kill someone else, like, if, like, Ser Brienne of Tarth kills Davos?

Speaker 3 I got a dumb question. This is going to be really bad.
I got a dumb question about all this.

Speaker 3 What's the fucking big deal if the Winter Army kills everybody and brings it back to life as a bunch of frozen zombies and just everyone's a frozen zombie walking around?

Speaker 1 History's forgotten.

Speaker 3 But then everyone's just like walking around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they might be a little bit cold. It would essentially.

Speaker 1 But who gives a shit? Okay, I'll throw a pack at you. They're happy.
There are no more wars. PFT, I'll throw a packet back at you.
Think of the dead element. Last week,

Speaker 1 last weekend, you went to Cannabis Cup. Probably nice to go visit there.
Would you want to live at Cannabis Cup?

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure if you got high enough, you wouldn't care.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that's exactly what the Army of the Dead is. It's literally Cannabis Cup where they just forget all of history and walk around being like, whoa.

Speaker 3 It would just be a giant fish concert. Right.

Speaker 1 Is that a bad thing? Yeah, the song never ends. Yeah.
All one song. I hope that happens.

Speaker 3 That's my new prediction. Okay.
Everybody just turns into a zombie and they're happy forever.

Speaker 1 They can't go in water, so you at least have that. Everything else is fine.

Speaker 1 All right. It's actually, that's the M.
Night Shyamalan twist. It's signs.
Remember, Water Kills the Aliens?

Speaker 1 Yep. What if M.
Night Shyamalan just pops out?

Speaker 3 We're ruining all kinds of M. Night Shyamalan movies.

Speaker 1 Do you know he's like a diehard Sixers fan? He's in all the games. Yeah, all the games.

Speaker 3 Isn't that kind of weird? Plot Twist, they lose.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Plot twist, Ben Simmons won't shoot a three.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 We're talking away

Speaker 3 what

Speaker 3 you say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 3 Today isn't my day to find you shy away.

Speaker 3 Oh, I've been coming for your love of great.

Speaker 3 Take on me.

Speaker 3 here.

Speaker 3 Did I drink

Speaker 3 less to say

Speaker 3 my hopes and heads by me somewhere a little way?

Speaker 3 Stellar learning, my life is okay.

Speaker 3 Say after me

Speaker 3 life's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 3 Drink only

Speaker 3 things that you say

Speaker 3 is in a life old with just a flame of worry.

Speaker 3 You're all things I've got to remember.

Speaker 3 Being shy and away

Speaker 3 when I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take on me.

Speaker 3 Take only me all

Speaker 3 to me.

Speaker 3 Take on me. I'll

Speaker 3 let it go.

Speaker 3 Take on me.

Speaker 3 Take unmeet

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 Take unme

Speaker 3 Take unme

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me