Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Talking NFL Draft

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Falls here, kids are back in school, vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 2 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 2 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 2 And if you head over to bombas.com slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Mel Kuiper and Todd McShea, a combo interview.

Speaker 1 Insane to get a little peek into their relationship.

Speaker 1 We got some draft nuggets from them, but we more than anything, we got to see like an unfiltered Todd McShay and Mel Kuyper chirp back and forth at each other. It was one of those interviews.

Speaker 1 It was tough to wrangle in, but a very good time. And they also told us, we also had Stephen Che, our draft guru, ask them some draft questions.
So you will be ready for the draft on Thursday night.

Speaker 1 We have some hockey talk, some NFL trade talk, hot seat, cool thrown, guys on chicks, and a Take Quake, a pack show for you.

Speaker 3 When Cool Creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. The hole is greater than the sum of its sauce.
Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't name all of the songs. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elay, Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Today is Wednesday, April 24th.
It's draft week. We're feeling it.
There's smokescreens everywhere. Trust no one.

Speaker 1 Dwayne Haskins might go to the Bengals now. Kyler Murray might not be the first pick in the draft.
There's all kinds of shit going on. But it's draft week, PFT, and I'm excited.

Speaker 2 That can only mean one thing, and that NFL is back finally for like the third time this offseason. The first time the NFL was back was the combine.
Second time the NFL was back was when the

Speaker 2 AF folded, and now it's back for the third time officially. I'm super excited about the draft.
I love the draft.

Speaker 2 The only problem is it kind of sucks living in a world where we've already peaked as an NFL draft, knowing that we'll never have another Laramie Tunsel gas mask video.

Speaker 2 That is the peak of NFL draft. I don't think it'll ever get any better than that, but I'm still excited nonetheless.
I think Haskins is going to end up as a Redskin.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm planning my flag and saying. Kyler Murray is going to be number one.
All this Wonderlick stuff, all this, it's Albert Breer season, is what it is.

Speaker 2 Albert Breer came in hot today with a list of concerns about getting Kyler Murray on the grease board, as they call it, saying that he's not smart enough to pick things up.

Speaker 2 He doesn't have a high IQ, probably because he's only 5'9.

Speaker 2 But I'm not buying it. I think that Kyler Murray is going to be Cardinal.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, everyone says 99.9% chance. Here's the only thing I'll throw out there: It feels like one of those situations where everything is set up for Kyler Murray to be a Cardinal.

Speaker 1 We've heard about it non-stop for the last three months. Cliff Kingsbury is supposed to be the coach to unlock Kyler Murray, all this stuff.

Speaker 1 The only thing that I would say that could throw a wrench into the whole plans is the Cardinals' owner walks into the door on Wednesday or Thursday or whatever their pre-draft meeting is, and he's like, wait, so we're going to trade Josh Rosen, pay some of that dead money, and then draft another quarterback and pay him, and then the rest of the team doesn't get better at all.

Speaker 1 So I'm just wondering if maybe at the last second, the owner's like, hey, guys, you guys are fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 You can't just get a mulligan right away on this pick. Why don't you trade, get more picks, get a better team?

Speaker 1 Look, it's probably going to be Kyler Murray, but I'm just throwing this out there as kind of a hypothetical what could happen in its place. If you put a gun to my head, I'm saying Kyler Murray.

Speaker 1 I'm just kind of playing devil's advocate here. I think you said Dwayne Haskins to the Redskins.

Speaker 1 I think Dwayne Haskins is going to be be a Cincinnati Bengal and Daniel Jones because he's 6'2 ⁇ , 220 in white will end up going all the way up the draft.

Speaker 1 Maybe even the Giants will be like, hey, let's just get this guy because David Cutcliffe and we can keep him in check and Eli can be the quarterback for the next six years.

Speaker 2 Did you see, though, there was a quote from an anonymous GM. He called Daniel Jones, he called him Eli Manning with a little less pizzazz.

Speaker 2 So basically, Brandon Whedon on ketamine is what you're looking at with a Daniel Jones. I could see him being,

Speaker 2 that's an ultimate Gettelman pick right there. So I could see him falling in love.

Speaker 2 I could see John Elway falling in love with him, too. He's perfect for him.
Back to your point, though, about the Cardinals.

Speaker 2 Your analysis is absolutely correct, big cat, that a smart owner would absolutely walk through the door and say, hey, why are we doing this? We're talking about the Cardinals here.

Speaker 2 It's like trying to analyze how a two-year-old would build a model airplane. So I don't really, I don't think that they're thinking that far in advance.

Speaker 2 The owner of the the Cardinal is just like, I've got Cliff Kingsbury because he's good looking, and now I'm just giving him the keys to the franchise.

Speaker 1 Yes. So the other news, we had the NFL.
Frank Clark gets traded from the Seahawks to the Chiefs. I love this move for both sides because the Chiefs are now all in.
I mean, they kind of already were

Speaker 1 after last year being a play, being a D-Ford off sides away from going to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So the Chiefs are all in, and the Seahawks did a sneaky thing here where they're getting more picks, and they're like, hey, we just paid Russell Wilson way too much money.

Speaker 1 Not way too much money because it is Russell Wilson, but a lot of money, and we got to be smart everything else. And the Sea, like, this is how smart organizations do it.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, we paid the quarterback a lot. Why don't we, instead of paying other guys a lot, just get a shitload of young talent and pay them a little and be good and be the Seahawks again?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, I think it worked out really well for the Seahawks.

Speaker 2 For the Chiefs, I guess it did work out well for them, but it's like, it seems to me that in the last 12 months, or not 12 months, probably like eight, nine months, the Chiefs have been going out of their way to make me try to not like them.

Speaker 2 They're just like collecting a bunch of questionable dudes that have very shady pasts and continue to get in trouble, that sort of thing. Wait.
I want to love the Chiefs. I want to love the Chiefs.

Speaker 2 I really do. I love Andy Reed.

Speaker 2 Here's how I compartmentalize the Chiefs, okay? I look at a guy like Frank Clark. I look at Tyreek Hill, and then I just stare at Andy Reid for 30 seconds, and I feel good again.

Speaker 1 And you remember how quickly they cut Kareem Hunt, and that was very noble and just, and clearly they have morals.

Speaker 2 Yes, absolutely. That was very just, and not at all because the evidence was planted by John Dorsey up in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Yes. So we had that, the Frank Clark story.
Somehow Patrick Peterson was traded to the Chiefs for a few minutes on Tuesday. Antonio Bryant, I don't know where you came from, former Bucs wide receiver.

Speaker 1 He just popped up and started being a NFL insider out of nowhere. I love when

Speaker 1 if you played in the NFL, if you played for more than a year in the NFL, you get one shot to just tweet out like this breaking news. And if you're wrong, you're joke forever for that.

Speaker 1 But if you're right, you can basically make a career off it. He took his shot.
I will not judge someone taking their shot. It just turns out he was very, very wrong.

Speaker 2 Well, shout out Antonio Bryant. He is an award-winning listener, part of my take.
He was actually the one who was rooting the most for Hank to get the cat. So it's like we got him and we got Rob Lowe.

Speaker 2 We're collecting all of the celebrities that just like to throw out their ideas for destinations for star players. I do want I had an idea today.

Speaker 2 So I was reading up on some of this Nick Bosa stuff with his tweets, how he's saying that he's going to dial back his tweets so that he can play in San Francisco if he gets drafted there.

Speaker 2 I've got an idea because another guy that's been a little bit too quiet is Josh Allen, Josh Allen 2.0, the new Josh Allen.

Speaker 2 He should cuck the shit out of Nick Bosa and just become a hardcore MAGA guy in the next two days and just tweet out like build that wall, all that stuff, and just kind of tempt Nick Bosa and be like, Nick, you won't.

Speaker 2 You won't. Yeah.
You won't. You won't go hard on this.
I think that Josh needs to make some noise.

Speaker 1 Tag him in every single tweet and just see if

Speaker 1 he'll bite.

Speaker 1 Because I feel like Nick Bosa, if there's two things I know about the Bosas, they'll bite on something on social media like that, and they'll get injured at basically every point during the season and miss a bunch of games.

Speaker 2 Yeah, mostly the injury stuff. Or Nick could go the other way and just go like hardcore Antifa.
Just put a rose in your Twitter profile, go like hard left.

Speaker 2 There you go. You can bring back the gas mask, but this time it's an Antifa gas mask and you're occupying Wall Street.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's perfect. All right, so we're going to get to more NFL draft talk with Todd McShea and Mel Kuyper in a second.
Before we do that, let's quickly.

Speaker 1 There's some NBA games tonight. PFT's at Pup Punk.
He's got a concert, so we're going to miss the NBA games. I think our magic are done.
I'm going to say it right now. I think our magic are done.

Speaker 1 It was sad to see.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was sad to see Blake Griffin go out of the playoffs, even though, shout out Blake Griffin, Heart of the Year award, unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Like, he was playing on one leg and just trying to stop Giannis from dunking all over everyone. That was a very quick series.
Go ahead, Hank.

Speaker 4 Yeah, also, I don't know if you saw, but after the game, after his final press conference, he went up and shook every media member's hand on his way out.

Speaker 2 What a class act. Fuck.

Speaker 1 What a classy guy.

Speaker 2 He is running for Blake of the Year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He also got caught.

Speaker 1 He got caught chanting refs you suck, which was awesome. That was like, that was the most relatable thing ever because I love.

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 1 It's not like, you know, overly antagonistic. It's not like Russell Westbrook trying to fight a ref or fight a fan or anything.
He's just going along with the chant.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it gets caught in your head. It's like a song getting caught in your head.
Sometimes it's refs you suck.

Speaker 2 He wins the Antonio Freeman. He put the team on his back, though, on one leg award for this postseason.

Speaker 2 That was a cool performance. He had like 27 minutes, 22 points, something like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was nice to watch, even though they got their shit pushed in as a team.

Speaker 2 But I think the Bucs, they're a wagon. They're going to roll through the Celtics.
We'll get to that later.

Speaker 1 By the way, a little correction there, so people don't correct PFT on Twitter. You're talking about Greg Jennings.
Put the team on his back.

Speaker 2 Greg Jennings, put the team on his back, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, one of the things that I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 Please don't correct me on Twitter.

Speaker 2 I hate being corrected on Twitter.

Speaker 1 There will be a lot of people who will stop the podcast right after you said that, tweet at you, then come back and realize we have already corrected the mistake.

Speaker 2 So make sure that you now want you to stop the podcast again and tweet at me. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 And say thank you, Big Cat, for cleaning up PFT's mistake. Okay.
Yes, absolutely. Let's talk a little hockey.
Before we talk about the caps, the Bruins are playing in a game seven.

Speaker 1 We don't know the results, so we're going to get a reaction from Hank both ways. Hank, the Bruins won game seven.

Speaker 4 Boston Sweep is still on. Hank? The East is wide open.
Hank, the Bruins.

Speaker 1 The Capitals lost. The Bruins lost game seven.

Speaker 4 You know, it's tough. You can't win every championship every year.
Like, you know, we had the Bread Sox, we had the Patriots. Like, three out of four is not bad.

Speaker 1 What can you do? Okay.

Speaker 1 that was that was bruin's talk with hank um pft the capitals i have a question for you who no not words who is no that's not the question who's more to blame for the capitals going to seven games against the carolina hurricanes one

Speaker 1 bad boy ovechkin getting kicked out of the game slashing guys beating up teenagers or two cocky PFT who has been making plans all over the office for every single round after this one in the Capitals playoffs?

Speaker 4 Three the refs. Three the refs.

Speaker 2 It's not Ovechkin because the things that you mentioned, the slashing, the getting kicked out, that was in the last like three seconds of the game. So I'm going to go out on a limb and saying that

Speaker 2 the plus-minus after Ovechkin got kicked out of the game being zero leads me to believe that it wasn't his fault.

Speaker 2 I will say the refs, as I predicted, you guys were probably all over me being like, oh, PFT, oh, you're making plans to go to Toronto. Oh, PFT, you're making plans to go out to Las Vegas again.

Speaker 2 Well, guess guess what? That's what champions do, okay? I'm a champion.

Speaker 2 Hank knows about it. I'm allowed to look past the Carolina Hurricanes.
Listen,

Speaker 2 the District of Champions right now,

Speaker 2 I don't get out of bed for first-round playoff hockey series anymore. I'm going full-on mass hole.

Speaker 2 This is my championship team that I'm dealing with here, okay?

Speaker 2 So it's not my fault. I predicted Caps and two.

Speaker 2 As I said on the last show, it's a three-game series, and it's still a chance for Caps and two because the refs took game six. So the Caps are 1-0 from game five on.

Speaker 2 I'm very confident that Carolina Tropical Storms are about to be in deep depression, and I'm not worried at all.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you answered my question. Cocky PFT is the worst.

Speaker 2 Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 You came up to me, and you're like, hey, Thursday, we might have to go to D.C. for game one against the Islanders.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 isn't there game six tonight? And you're like, well,

Speaker 1 whatever.

Speaker 2 And then you see what happens. Here's what's happening right now.

Speaker 2 In my tiny little pea brain, I'm trying to rationalize my deepest fear of the Caps losing the first round through overconfidence. And I'm not like Hank.
I'm not a Boston basketball sports fan.

Speaker 2 I'm not used to championships. I have one, and I really enjoyed that one.
And I would very much like another. And I'm rooting very hard for the team.
And I am worried.

Speaker 2 I'm very worried about what can happen in game seven. As we heard from Kevin Millar, game seven, anything can happen.

Speaker 4 That was kind of a team of destiny to get out of that goal last night by the hurricane.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is good. We're stripping it down.
This is a psychoanalysis of PFT here. The cocky PFT was a charade.
It was a coat of armor. We've taken it away.
You're worried. That's okay.

Speaker 1 That's a normal feeling to have. And game seven on Wednesday night will define whether the caps are a dynasty in the making or just a blip on the radar, a one-year, whoops, what happened in that year?

Speaker 1 No one even remembers the Capitals won the Cup.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because everybody got too drunk afterwards. The whole team was hungover for an entire summer, so they wouldn't remember that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 I'm cautiously optimistic. As I said, I am worried, but there's reason to believe,

Speaker 2 number one, that entire goal being taken off the. Well, I guess it wasn't taken off the boards because they never awarded it, but it was very clearly a goal that should have counted.

Speaker 2 The fact that it didn't, I think, will fire the team up a little bit.

Speaker 2 That was the turning point of the game, no question about it. And the fact that we beat them 6-0 last time we were in our barn, the legendary MCI Center, that gives me reason to believe, too.

Speaker 2 And I just want to say we haven't really discussed stadium montages this postseason that much, as any long-time listener would know.

Speaker 2 I'm a huge fan of the time-lapse stadium montage when they're changing it from hockey to basketball back to hockey. It's cool.
It's like, wait, wait, I thought that was a hockey arena.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, there's wood now. I really enjoy it.
I'm pissed off.

Speaker 2 That's the thing I'm most pissed off, I think, at the Wizards for is just the fact that they haven't given me any good stadium montages in the last like four or five years.

Speaker 2 They've been so shitty as a team that I haven't even gotten that one little bit of joy out of them. So it's the stadium montage, the handshake line.

Speaker 2 No matter what happens in game seven, we're getting a handshake line. So there's that to look forward to.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's true.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 Bruins and the Celtics are both in the second round, too, so we'll still get one of those.

Speaker 1 Well, unless the

Speaker 4 wall, yes, Wednesday.

Speaker 1 What happens if the. No.
Okay. Hank, why don't you do hot seat, cool, throwing to start us off?

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Adderall.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 a new study came out. Hold on, let me pull up my notes because my computer is about to explode.
The FDA has approved a new medical device to help treat ADHD children. You'll like this big cat.

Speaker 4 It's basically shock therapy for seven-year-olds. Whoa.

Speaker 4 So instead of getting kids diagnosed early, children wear a small adhesive patch while they sleep and it delivers a low-level electrical pulse to parts of the brain responsible for ADHD symptoms.

Speaker 1 That doesn't sound right. So, yeah.

Speaker 4 Adderalls in the hot seat, kids are just going to start going to sleep with shock therapy every night from 8 to 12.

Speaker 1 I'm sure those kids will grow up someday.

Speaker 1 I'm sure those kids will someday grow up and be like, yeah, I love sleeping, where I just go and get electrocuted all night long. That will be great.

Speaker 1 Maybe, Hank, this is just a genius thing to keep kids up all night.

Speaker 1 Then, when they wake up, they didn't sleep at all, so they're tired all day, so they don't have ADHD, and they're not running around crazy.

Speaker 4 That would make sense.

Speaker 1 That's just literally just sleep deprivation for your child.

Speaker 2 I like that a lot.

Speaker 2 You could just do it the old-fashioned way and just walk into your kid's crib like once every couple hours and just poke them like real quick with a safety pin, then walk back to your bed. Same deal.

Speaker 2 That's what they used to do back in the olden times.

Speaker 1 It's true.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is Duke.

Speaker 4 Number one recruiting class. They got Vernon Carey Jr.

Speaker 4 And everyone likes to root against the white guy. That's a high recruit at Duke.
Matthew Hurt is the guy.

Speaker 1 Have you seen pictures of this kid? So would you say that you're going to put a cat on it?

Speaker 4 No. I mean, I didn't put a cat on anything last year.
You guys put a cat on me. Yeah.
So I've never risked a cat.

Speaker 1 I don't plan

Speaker 1 on risking a cat.

Speaker 4 But Duke's back. You know, it's good.
Also, the Drake curse is back. I don't know if you guys saw this.
I did see it. But Adele, it came out.
Reports came out that Adele. and Drake had a nice dinner.

Speaker 4 They went to a little vape, vape shop, which I guess is hookah.

Speaker 4 And then like two days later, it was reported that Adele and her husband are are breaking up.

Speaker 1 That's perfect. He literally is just walking around cursing everyone.

Speaker 2 He's a witch. I love it.

Speaker 4 At this point, he's got to be worried about it.

Speaker 2 No, if you're on a heater like Drake, you got to start using this for good.

Speaker 2 You got to start attending games with teams that you hate. You got to hang out with couples you don't like.

Speaker 1 When you're hot, you're hot.

Speaker 4 Also, his record for like most streams in a week was broken by Old Town Road.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Do you think Drake doesn't have any mirrors in his house? Because if he looks at himself, he curses himself.

Speaker 2 Yeah, definitely. I mean, have you seen how he dressed?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he truly is a witch.

Speaker 1 All right, PFD, go with hot seat, cool throne.

Speaker 2 Okay, my hot seat is Thanos.

Speaker 2 So we're big Avengers guys on this show. We've seen, between the three of us, I think, precisely zero of the movies.
Is that a factual statement?

Speaker 4 I saw the last one.

Speaker 1 I've seen zero.

Speaker 4 I also saw Iron Man 1 like 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Good for you.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I saw Iron Man 1. Well, I guess Thanos killed half the world or whatever, so the Avengers have a lot of avenging to do.

Speaker 2 But they're going to take Thanos out. That's all I can tell you right now.

Speaker 2 Either Ant-Man's going to crawl up in his butt and expand, like we said on the show, or he's going to get defeated using logic and reason by fact-checking super reporter Clark Kent.

Speaker 2 Those are my two predictions for the end of The Avengers. But everybody's extremely excited about it.
I wish I could get into it.

Speaker 2 It's just one of those things that there are like 20 movies that you have to see to get caught up for the end.

Speaker 2 So I'm never going to get around to that. So I'm just going to say, Thanos, not a fan.

Speaker 2 We're an anti-Tanos podcast.

Speaker 1 I also am just stuck waiting for another Christopher Nolan Batman, even though I know that's not possible and he's not going to do one.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, hey, I'll get back into these movies as soon as we get another Christopher Nolan Batman.

Speaker 2 Yeah, same. I'm right there with you.
My other hot seat is bloggers.

Speaker 2 Bloggers are firmly on the hot seat because Chris Long has decided to start blogging about Game of Thrones, taking jobs away from nerds.

Speaker 2 So, Chris, as a jock, as a fellow jock, let me tell you, jock to jock, what you're doing, you're going to face some backlash.

Speaker 2 You're going to face some backlash from the nerd community because you're stealing jobs from us. I don't like it.
At least wait till you're retired.

Speaker 2 I don't know a lot about a lot, but I'm pretty sure that the people in Game of Thrones, they would go to the White House if they were invited by Donald Trump. And he'd probably invite everybody.

Speaker 2 Because many people

Speaker 2 have great people on both sides.

Speaker 1 I love this move because Chris is going to blog about Game of Thrones, and I don't think he's ready for the world to hurt he's going to be in.

Speaker 1 Because the one thing I've learned from watching Game of Thrones and watching the first two episodes, people are passionate about Game of Thrones. Very, very passionate.
And guess what?

Speaker 1 The other part that they don't give a fuck about anyone's opinion for the most part. There's like a couple people that are thrones experts and then everyone else.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm just going to stick to making like Tormunda's Jim Harbaugh jokes and all my and like all of our thrones analysis is just going to be stupid jokes about dickless dudes not being able to fuck.

Speaker 1 Because Game of Thrones, people, if you fuck up a theory, if you fuck up some kind of plot line, they will be down your ass in a second. And I'm not trying to get in that world.

Speaker 2 You're absolutely right. And so, Chris, consider yourself warned.
This is a warning shot to you, buddy. Just watch it.
Watch where you're stepping. My cool throne is Quinn Snyder's hair.

Speaker 2 Have you seen it? Yes.

Speaker 2 It is looking great. That's my favorite part of the postseason is being reminded of Quinn Snyder's hair.
It's like he looks like Vince Vaughan.

Speaker 2 If Vince Vaughan was wearing a wire against against his own Coke dealer, he's like super sweaty, always nervous acting on the sideline.

Speaker 2 My other cool throne is exclusive VIP experiences and member perks and benefits that go along with having a next generation black card concierge service. So Bubba found a brand new service online.

Speaker 2 Didn't even know this existed. First of its kind.

Speaker 2 It's a black card that you can get, and they can upload your debit card to it. It's like titanium, it's like really strong.
And then it unlocks like 600,000 partner locations for benefits.

Speaker 2 It's got a membership community that provides access to exclusive VIP cocktails, happy hours, networking events. It's just filled with lifestyle brands, retailers' experiences, and more.

Speaker 2 I'm really excited about it. First of its kind of the U.S., and I'm signing up for it.
So pretty pumped. And it's a New York City exclusive thing.
Again, it has never been done. I'm really excited.

Speaker 2 It sounds like a home run.

Speaker 1 All right. I'm ready for it too.
I mean, it's like the first time's a failure, and then you build on it and you learn from your mistakes.

Speaker 1 I mean, someone is going to do another Fire Fest, and it's going to be fucking awesome. So I'm ready for all this.

Speaker 1 All of Billy McFarlane's terrible ideas to come back, revamped, and I'll buy into every single one of them.

Speaker 2 And the card is sweet, too. That's the biggest part.
It's like it's only 300 bucks a year, and you get a cool card that makes a big noise if you drop it on a table.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it's black.
And it's black. And I am a big believer, obviously, and lightning never strikes twice.

Speaker 1 So if one idea is a fraud, and then they just do the same exact idea, like, five years later, what are the chances also going to be a fraud? Zero.

Speaker 2 Stop using the fraud word. It's false advertising, not a fraud.

Speaker 1 All right. My hot seat is you, PFT.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. I have something I want to play for you.
You ready? Yeah. When PFT dies, make a sign so it says Christian Yelich, Home Run King, and then it's him eating my ass.

Speaker 1 That's what you should do. The cartoon there.

Speaker 4 People forget we do have that bet.

Speaker 2 Yeah. We're talking about that this weekend.
That must be confusing if people don't know.

Speaker 2 We made a bet with Christian Yelich over the All-Star break that if he ever wins the all-star, we need a home run derby that me and Big Cat will eat each other's ass.

Speaker 1 We need to get something out of that bet. Oh, we need to get

Speaker 1 out of here.

Speaker 2 Wait, first of all,

Speaker 1 that's tough. First of all,

Speaker 2 wouldn't yeah, I guess that would make your - that would mean your seat would be hot because my tongue would be up it.

Speaker 1 Yes, but you have been ⁇ you have long declared that you have no part in the ass-eating part of it except for a crow, but that is verbal confirmation that the bet is that we eat each other's asses.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Listen, PFT,

Speaker 1 here's what's good, okay? A little spin zone. You and I are now in this together.
We don't have to fight each other. We're in this together.

Speaker 1 We're going to have Christian Yelich on, I think, in a couple days. We will figure out a way out of this, but just welcome to the fucking Terror Dome, bro.

Speaker 1 You got to eat my ass if he wins the Hormon Derby.

Speaker 2 All that tape proved is that you're gaslighting me. That's what you've been doing for the last year.
You've been gaslighting me that I'm in on this bet.

Speaker 2 I mean, I am kind of in on on it, but I'm not in on the eating your ass part. Oh, yes.
I'm in on the eating the crow's butt part.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 And you've managed to gaslight America into thinking that I somehow accepted this when I only accepted

Speaker 2 the fact that I would eat a crow's butthole.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, wait. Oh, do you need me to play that again for you? Because I feel like you're

Speaker 1 gaslit.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, that tape. That tape was proof that I had been gaslit.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. That's interesting.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 welcome to the party.

Speaker 1 You are, you have just as much. You actually have more at stake because you have to eat a crow's ass and my ass.
That sucks. I just have to eat your ass.

Speaker 2 No, I'll eat the crow's ass to get your ass taste out of my mouth.

Speaker 1 Okay, there you go.

Speaker 2 A little palate cleanser.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 welcome, though, because I know I saw your face drop there, and that was a beautiful moment to watch your face drop when you realized that you are just as much in this bet as I am.

Speaker 2 Well, you've got people going back and like reviewing every interview that we've done, trying to find one example where I might have said.

Speaker 1 Why that person was listening to the week 13 part of my take, I have no idea, but I am happy that he did because he tweeted at me and he said, PFT acknowledge the bet, week 13. Boom, there we go.

Speaker 2 Just because I acknowledge it doesn't mean I said it in the first place. Whatever you're pointing out.

Speaker 1 You acknowledge it. All right, cool throne.

Speaker 1 Two cool thrones for me. One is bears kickers because Robbie Gold, I think, is demanding.
I think he's essentially demanding that he will quit football if he doesn't get to be a bear again.

Speaker 1 So I'm ready for that.

Speaker 1 He's demanded a trade. Kickers demanding trades, very often done.
But I'm all for it when it helps the Bears, especially with how bad. The Bears have three kickers right now on their roster.

Speaker 1 They're just basically going to bring everyone in until we somehow get Robbie Gold back in Chicago. My other cool throne is Odell Beckham Jr., because he wants everyone to listen.

Speaker 1 He is totally happy in Cleveland. He's so happy that he keeps tweeting about how happy he is.
This is not a situation where he's not happy. He's very happy.

Speaker 1 He said, listen, PSA, I'm having one of the best days of my life. I've got some of the greatest news, so don't play with me because I'm shooting back for all the haters out there that want a response.

Speaker 1 Today is the day, my friend. And he went on to say how happy he was in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he's happy.

Speaker 1 Don't even ask if he's not happy.

Speaker 2 Him and Antonio Brown are both just little peas in a pot, just happy as clams. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was asking for places to eat. I saw that you very helpfully pointed him towards the nearest Cleveland Cavaliers victory parade so that he can get some nice horse shit.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Kind of a theme for you is just reminding people about pooping and stuff like that this week. That's kind of cool.
He should just ask Bob Wiley.

Speaker 2 Bob Wiley has a heat map of the cheesiest pizza restaurants in Cleveland, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. But yeah, Odo Beckham, he also,

Speaker 1 like, the Giants or something, maybe it was Eli Manning tweeted out a video of Eli Manning practicing with Giants receivers and being like, ooh, look at Eli. He's looking good.

Speaker 1 By the way, he was looking great because the key to Eli Manning being a good quarterback is having no pass rush and no defense whatsoever.

Speaker 1 If you do that, I think he went like nine for 12 or something. I was watching the tape.
But Odell Beckham is probably just happy he's away from Eli Manning.

Speaker 1 Like, he truly actually is happy that he doesn't have to play with Eli Manning anymore.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Eli Manning with a little less pizzazz. If you just say that phrase to Odell Beckham, he turns to stone.
That's how bored that he gets. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interview with Tom McShea and Mel Kuyper, where we talk about NFL draft and their relationship, and maybe Mel Kuyper pumpkin pie talk.

Speaker 2 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boars Head retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 2 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 2 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, here they are: Todd McShea and Mel Kuyper.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on two very special guests. They are the draft gurus for ESPN.
They have a podcast called First Draft. Go listen to it.

Speaker 1 They have all the info you need for the draft coming up on Thursday night. It is Mel Kuyper.
It is Todd McShea. I want to start with an easy one, guys.

Speaker 1 Do you sleep this week? Like, what does it look like this week? Are you just wall-to-wall draft coverage? Go ahead, Mel.

Speaker 5 Yeah, basically. I can't speak for Todd, but now you have calls you have to make as as well.

Speaker 5 You know, you've got to, in between all the different stuff, you're preparing for ESPN.com and obviously getting ready for the draft and finalizing grades and doing all that.

Speaker 5 You have calls to make to your friends in the NFL and obviously friends that used to be in the NFL, anybody that has information that you can kind of gather and put together and work in conjunction with what you've heard.

Speaker 5 So you need time for all that. But now, sleep-wise, I'd say, Todd, I'll say I usually get to bed around 1-2 and up some at 5-6.

Speaker 1 You know, Mel's earned it. I'll give it to him.
But he also stays at the Kuiper compound. He's with the cozy home.
Oh, yeah. His wife there, friendly compound.
Homemade meals and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm back down here last night. Bristol, today, tomorrow, all the shows, and then fly into Nashville where he's just chilling and everything's good.

Speaker 5 I'm going over to see Buzz Brainerd, the highway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there is.

Speaker 5 He's over at Margarita Ville tomorrow. Yep.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, you guys are in your studio right now in Bristol. We're here in New York, so this isn't face-to-face.
We're losing that personal touch.

Speaker 2 So I thought I'd just give you an opportunity to set the scene a little bit. Todd, can you describe to us in detail how Mel's hair is looking right now?

Speaker 1 He's in a different studio right now. But let me tell you this.
I have stood with him on Fifth Avenue, walking out of the hotel, going over to

Speaker 1 where was the draft that year, Mel?

Speaker 5 The early Radio City, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Radio City.

Speaker 1 And it was a windstorm. You guys know it's like the wind tunnels on Fifth Avenue and all those avenues.
I've got my tie is sideways.

Speaker 1 Rain's coming down. I'm a mess.
Everything's falling all over the place. I looked over and Kuiper's hair hasn't moved an inch.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 2 Consistency.

Speaker 1 Yes. Nope.

Speaker 5 It will not move. And it's the proper product, as they say.

Speaker 1 Although you're kind of chilled on the product a little bit, Kuiper. A little bit.

Speaker 5 Still use the gel and still hair sprayed off. But no, it hasn't moved.
It doesn't move. And that's part of the equation.
I don't want to be worrying about hair.

Speaker 5 That's the last thing I've ever worried about. People is that hair, hair, hair.
First of all, I don't have it. As Todd can tell you, there's not a lot left.
It's eroded. It's eroded to hardly zero.

Speaker 1 Have you guys seen the old Faldion pictures? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
He used to have a bro. He wanted to entertain.

Speaker 5 Look at those, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get into the draft.
I want to start with a question that I always find very interesting for the draft coming up on Thursday. I'll start with you, Todd.

Speaker 1 How do you compare this draft to last year's draft and maybe the last three years' draft? Because I'm always interested, like, if Dwayne Haskins was last year, where would he be?

Speaker 1 Overall, how does this draft stack up against the last couple drafts we've had?

Speaker 1 The top four quarterbacks last year, I mean, it was record-setting. We kind of knew it at the time.

Speaker 1 And I remember, you know, after they go in the top 10 and three of the four teams traded up and Cleveland was sitting at one, they couldn't trade up. They took Baker Mayfield there.
So

Speaker 1 we knew that these quarterbacks were going to come off the board last year. They deserve to.
The grades are better.

Speaker 1 Josh Rosen Rosen was kind of the most interesting one because of the durability issues, and he's just a different cat.

Speaker 1 But I still think he's slightly, in terms of my grades, I've got him rated a little bit higher than the quarterbacks in this class. This year is going to be crazy because Kyler Murray could go one.

Speaker 1 Most likely, Mel keeps saying 99.9. I'm not sure how you quantify that, but there's a very strong possibility that Arizona takes Kyler at one.
But where does Dwayne Haskins go?

Speaker 1 Drew Locke is a lot of different opinions on on him. Some guys love Daniel Jones like Kuiper, and some guys like me think he's a career backup.

Speaker 1 So it's not nearly as good in terms of the quarterbacks this year. The running backs aren't as good.
The wide receivers aren't as good. But I think the depth is better when you start to

Speaker 1 get to day two. And the defensive line and defense just in general is awesome.
Okay, so going off that, the quarterbacks, I'll kick it to you, Mel. I'm curious how

Speaker 1 the new age NFL, it seems like every team's like, all all right, we've got to get a young quarterback. We've got to have him pay his rookie salary and build around him.

Speaker 1 You see it with L.A., what they've been doing, Chicago, all these teams say, get the young quarterback, pay him a little bit, get him on his rookie deal, and you can build around it.

Speaker 1 Does that now make it so that teams will maybe push up for quarterbacks that three, four, five years ago might not have been first-rounders?

Speaker 1 Like, is there a team that's saying, hey, we know Daniel Jones isn't a bona fide first-rounder, but if we can get the young quarterback who can be average, we can build the rest of the team.

Speaker 5 I guess you could argue that point, although we call them plateau quarterbacks, Andy Dalton being one of those, that everything around that quarterback better be spectacular, or they still may not get you where you want to go.

Speaker 5 I think the money you can cut the cord quicker than you could prior years when we go back to the contracts of some of the top quarterbacks were enormous. They're not now.

Speaker 5 But I think this year is a different year. Every year is different.
Next year, everybody's saying tank for Tua. Worry about Trevor Lawrence two years from now out of Clemson.
You can't do that.

Speaker 5 You got to just deal with what you have this year. And this year, we have four quarterbacks that are first-rounders.
We can all debate how good they were compared to last year.

Speaker 5 Last year was a special group, and we knew that going in. And you throw Mayfield in as a wild card, Lamar Jackson at the end of the first round.
So you had the bookends there.

Speaker 5 Then you had the other three, all of which I thought held their own and did better than that. I mean, Josh Allen won five and five in the games he started and finished.
Darnold finished strong.

Speaker 5 Mayfield did what he did. And Lamar won six football games.
So, yeah, Josh had a bad team around him.

Speaker 5 So those quarterbacks were better than any of the quarterbacks this year, in my opinion, those guys were better than this year's group.

Speaker 5 As a group of quarterbacks, the top guys were better.

Speaker 1 Arizona can reportedly only get a second or third for Josh Rosen, which is crazy to me.

Speaker 1 I don't buy it. It's like driving a new car off the lot.

Speaker 2 It decreases value the second the season starts, I think.

Speaker 1 Or buying a boat. There you go, buying a boat.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you all about that. I'm not there yet.

Speaker 5 Wait, who has a boat?

Speaker 1 Do you have a boat or Toss? I do. Oh, yeah.
He's got a boat. He's got kayaks, all sorts of stuff.
Yeah, Jenny. We got it all all going.
That's what you're going to start your own industry. Yeah, shit.

Speaker 2 Mel, this one's mostly for you.

Speaker 1 You guys know.

Speaker 2 You've been around for a while. You've seen a lot as far as the draft goes over the years.
Is it getting harder to evaluate players as they've gotten more athletic?

Speaker 5 It's always been hard to evaluate players, guys. That's never been easy.

Speaker 5 To do what we do independently, not be with a team, and not know that you have to.

Speaker 5 project to everybody, not just your system and what you do. Thank you for your support.
Fundamentally, it's very hard. And I think that's the whole thing.
It's never never changing.

Speaker 5 The league is different now than it ever was.

Speaker 5 They're talking about doing even more to keep it offense, generating big time points. Fantasy football is kind of taking over.
Everything's about offense. Everything's about stats.

Speaker 5 I don't think kids watch games. They just want to know stats.
Do you watch the games? Oh, if you look at stats, you're not going to find out who wins football games. Kids these days.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's amazing. Look at stats.

Speaker 5 That's all they care about. Did you actually watch the game? And that's what we've become.
That's why some of these stat quarterbacks are revered and they got just win the daggone football game.

Speaker 5 And And if you win and you open up stats, oh, he didn't play well. No, he played really well.
If you'd have watched the game, you might have figured that out.

Speaker 1 I think the craziest part now is it's not even social media. It's just figuring.

Speaker 1 Like, I talked to guys who are friends in the league scouts, and it used to be 70, 30 evaluating tape versus background checks. And now they're basically like private investigators.

Speaker 2 You know, you got to go dig through all the tweets and all the...

Speaker 1 you know, all the social media stuff, but more like hanging out in bars in town,

Speaker 1 talking to like everyone who works at the CAF and all those different things. I mean, it's crazy how much time is spent by an area scout sitting in

Speaker 1 the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma, trying to figure out if a guy's got some issues off the field because they don't want to invest $25 million in someone who's going to be a problem.

Speaker 2 I would be very good at that job, to just be the guy that volunteers to go hang out in a bar in Stillwater for a week.

Speaker 2 I will submit my resume right now for that job.

Speaker 2 You were talking about watching tape, watching the games.

Speaker 2 How much college football do you guys watch in season as opposed to going back after the year is over, watching some of the tape on the guys that you know are good?

Speaker 1 I'm like 80-20 tape because I'm doing games every week with Steve Levy and Brian Greasy. But, you know,

Speaker 1 Kuiper's got 17 screens in front of him, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, Saturdays, it's crazy during the week on Saturdays with college football.

Speaker 5 Trying to watch as much as you can superficially because you have to obviously report on this very immediately after the games are over.

Speaker 5 And then you go back during the week and try to figure out who you liked, who you didn't. We have work to do as Todd does.
We all do for ESPN.com.

Speaker 5 I have a player moving up the board, an under-the-radar guy to highlight, which means you're not just evaluating one guy because that one guy may do nothing.

Speaker 5 There might be an under-radar guy who's playing that week, and you say, boy, I'm going to evaluate him. Well, he didn't do well, so I can't put him up there.
So I have to get six or seven guys.

Speaker 5 And you same thing for the big board. So I think you're up.
I'm up on there Saturday night until 4, 4.30 in the morning getting ready for Sunday based on evaluating college kids.

Speaker 5 So it just, it never ends. I started out back in 1978 with that big satellite dish on the roof of my house back on 1935 Ramblewood Road.

Speaker 5 So, you know, it was a different ballgame back in those days where I had to actually go to two games every Saturday. I'm driving all over creation.
I got the big dish on the satellite.

Speaker 5 Can you imagine that huge dish on the top of that roof back in a row house in Baltimore?

Speaker 1 Do you see what I put up with every day? Yeah, this is, I'm starting to get the sad, I understand your guys' relationship a lot more.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm a better talent evaluator, but this guy, he is way more interesting.

Speaker 5 Well, I like the confidence or the cockiness, I should say, to say he's actually better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he eats pumpkin pie every day. Oh, we're going to get to that.
We're going to get to that.

Speaker 1 We got our rapid-fire questions at the end.

Speaker 1 Todd, give me the 2019 draft preview for dummies in terms of strong position groups, bad position groups, where you think it's going to shake out in that respect.

Speaker 1 I think if you want a running back or receiver, you should do it in

Speaker 1 second, third round, day two. Miles Sanders from Penn State is a better value than having to reach for Josh Jacobs if you want to take him in the top 20.

Speaker 1 Trayvion Williams from Texas A ⁇ M, David Montgomery,

Speaker 1 you could go to Justice Hill as an explosive back out of Oklahoma State. There's just a bunch of running backs that I think second, third, even fourth round, you can get players.

Speaker 1 I love Marquise Brown, the wide receiver from Oklahoma. He's 166 pounds.
He's coming off of Liz Frank injury, but he's Deshaun Jackson.

Speaker 1 And I'll take that in the top 20, even though I know he's going to probably fall a little bit. But I'd rather take A.J.

Speaker 1 Brown from Ole Miss than DK Metcalf from Ole Miss if I could get Brown in the middle of the second round versus spending a top 25 pick on

Speaker 1 Metcalf. So it's just, I think where you take these players, but the defensive line group is as good as I've ever evaluated.

Speaker 1 And I can go on with a thousand names from Quinnen Williams, Ed Oliver, Christian Wilkins, Jeffrey Simmons,

Speaker 1 then Bosa, Nick Bosa, Joey's brother, Montez Sweat from Mississippi State, Rashawn Gary from Michigan.

Speaker 1 I mean, there are so many defensive tackles and edge players in this year's class that teams are just, they're dying to get their hands on them.

Speaker 5 I'll give you guys a question. Middle of last week, what do you think I was watching?

Speaker 2 Middle to last week.

Speaker 5 Middle of last week, I'm up in Bristol at the Double Tree. Okay, just got back to the room.
I'm ordering my pizza and my

Speaker 1 cool potatoes.

Speaker 5 I was watching women's lacrosse.

Speaker 5 Women's College, I had watched Maryland and Georgetown, watched Jen Giles put on a show. They were down 8-4 at the half guys.
They won like 17-8. Outscored him 13-0 in the second half.
And Jen Giles.

Speaker 1 He literally asked me the next day, phenomenal player.

Speaker 1 He goes, what do you think? Here's the score at halftime or whatever.

Speaker 1 What do you think it was? What do you think the score is? I'm like, Mel, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Great game.
Great game.

Speaker 1 13-0 in the second half. So you're going to land this plane, Mel?

Speaker 1 Point of the story, Mel.

Speaker 5 Point of the story is there's more to do than watch this football. You've got to have a diversion.
You've got to have something else. You can't be 24 hours a day just football.
You need to diversify.

Speaker 5 You need to be

Speaker 1 an assessment of the strength. You need to be a well-rounded individual.

Speaker 5 You got to be exactly.

Speaker 2 When was the last time you guys, well, I guess, Todd, you cover the games. Mel, when was the last time you actually went to a football game?

Speaker 5 Went to a football, go to the NFL games every Sunday, and I go to college. I used to go to college games twice a two.

Speaker 5 I don't go to college games anymore. That's Todd's deal.
I used to go to two a week. I'd go to one in the afternoon, one in the evening.

Speaker 5 And then I did college game day for ESPN, where we were at a site every week for years there until Todd took over for me.

Speaker 5 And then he's now doing games after he was in the studio and didn't go to any games for all those years, right, Todd?

Speaker 1 What about high school?

Speaker 5 High school every week.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Get an early start on it. Stay ahead of the game.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Friday night high school football. Come on.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Talk to me about these quarterbacks. So we obviously know Kyler Murray, number one, probably most likely 99.9%.

Speaker 1 How far down can, like, what's the volatility of Dwayne Haskins? Can Drew Locke jump him? Like, how do you see it shaking out with those four quarterbacks we talked about?

Speaker 1 These teams are all over the place. I mean, I can talk to a friend right now, and he'll be like, Yeah, you know, I like Locke more than I like Haskins.

Speaker 1 And then other guys will be like, The tape is just, like, this is a direct quote, the tape is just different with Haskins compared to all of the other quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Then you talk to other guys, and they say, well, Haskins, we're worried about the weight, and what are we getting? Is he too into his brand, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 So there's just so many different opinions. I think Haskins,

Speaker 1 from what I hear, Washington at 15 is the most likely spot. I don't know about what you hear, Mel.
Drew Locke, to me,

Speaker 1 is probably the most volatile. And then there's Daniel Jones, who I don't think belongs in the first round.
You do, and the Giants seem to really like him. So we'll see how it plays out.

Speaker 5 You want to get a headache? Talk to enough people, and they'll give you a headache. That's upset.
Every year, every year, it's the same old stuff. Some love, some hate.
Some love, some.

Speaker 5 But after the one thing you find, guys, once they're good, they all love them.

Speaker 1 Once they're bad, they all hate them.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. That's the revisionist history that goes into that.

Speaker 1 Bahomi's never had a problem.

Speaker 1 He had great mechanics. Yeah, they all loved Bahomi.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, they didn't. They all loved Josh Allen and Sam Darnold.
No, they didn't. They all loved Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 No, they didn't.

Speaker 5 Mitch Trubisky, come on. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 5 So I can tell you so many stories, guys, going back of quarterbacks that were great, that were hated, and quarterbacks that were

Speaker 1 awful that were loved. But nobody will admit it three or four years after the fact.
Who's this year's Josh Allen? You guys were huge, Josh Allen.

Speaker 2 Oh, Josh Allen is this year's Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 Daniel Jones would be Josh Allen because

Speaker 1 big, strong arm, 6'2, 220. He's just jumping them.
And he's also doing that late thing where no one talked about him. And now it's all of a sudden Daniel Jones, Daniel Jones, Daniel Jones.

Speaker 5 So you guys like those guys that wear number 17, huh?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And actually, you bring up a great point because I think it's actually hurting Ed Oliver's draft stock that he wore, what, number 10 in college for a defensive tackle that doesn't look right on film to me as a tape round.

Speaker 5 Sean Gary wearing number three?

Speaker 1 Yes, Yes, don't like it.

Speaker 2 The tape doesn't jump out.

Speaker 1 But we like guys who look good in shorts, and, Mel, you should know something about that.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Claussen.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 That was one of my best evaluations ever, wasn't it?

Speaker 2 Looks great in shorts.

Speaker 1 He looks great in shorts. What happened there? Walk us through how you still are working.

Speaker 5 I guess I was too much of a Notre Dame fan because I had been ripped for not having Rick Meyer high enough. I'd had Rick Meyer.

Speaker 1 I'm glad we get to talk about this publicly. This is good.

Speaker 1 And then what about Brady Quinn?

Speaker 5 I am destroyed. I figured I'd give them Notre Dame.
That's my team. I love Notre Dame.
I'm a big in the fighting Irish fans.

Speaker 1 And then you promised you were going to retire.

Speaker 1 I'm going to read that quote for you guys here, okay?

Speaker 2 Because you said...

Speaker 5 I was forced out of retirement after about an hour.

Speaker 1 We're going to run through the

Speaker 1 transcript here.

Speaker 2 If Jimmy Clausen is, this is Mel Kuyper speaking. If Jimmy Clausen is not a successful quarterback in the NFL, I'm done.
That's it. I'm out.

Speaker 1 His career is a good idea. It's not over you guys.
I'm out of retirement.

Speaker 2 Then Todd says, what's your time frame, Mel? When do we make that assessment? And then you say, I want eight years. Todd says, it will only take three years, Mel.
We can tell inside three years.

Speaker 2 You said, I want eight. It's been eight years.

Speaker 1 And you said that you were done. 18.
He was

Speaker 1 like, I was just a young guy, you know, trying to make my way in the world. And he was just

Speaker 5 trying, guys. I was trying to make Todd look good.
He was an unknown. Nobody knew who McShea was.
This Richmond Spider 15-string quarterback.

Speaker 5 Nobody ever knew who the heck he was. He wasn't on any boards.
Nobody even knew he ever played the game. And he's coming on the ESPN.
People thought, yeah,

Speaker 5 who's this guy? I had to give him credibility. What's the best way to give a newcomer credibility?

Speaker 1 Fall in the silver. Jimmy Collins.

Speaker 5 I did it all for Todd.

Speaker 1 I was really set up for Todd. Yeah, all right.
So,

Speaker 1 in fairness, Todd, I want to hear your worst, the worst evaluation you've ever done. The guy that you're like, I totally missed on him.
Oh, Jamarcus Russell. Oh, a lot of people, yeah.

Speaker 1 He can throw far

Speaker 1 on his knees, though. That's 60 yards.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That pro day, man.

Speaker 1 never i still have never seen anything like it just a freak but then i mean i again i was young and dumb but i trusted the people i trusted some of the people i shouldn't have trusted in terms of who he was but i should have known jamarcus went and sat down after his workout and made everyone in the media and everyone come over and talk to him because he was just kind of tired and lazy and everyone just kept saying no he's poised you know he's relaxed all right he doesn't let anything get to him but he um

Speaker 1 he was lazy and i i took it on the chin.

Speaker 2 He was exhausted after his pro-day workout.

Speaker 1 Throw him from his knees.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that would be a red flag. Do you guys root for the players that you've gassed up?

Speaker 2 Are the guys that you say, like, for example, in that draft, when Jamarcus Russell hits the field for the first time, are you rooting for him to succeed?

Speaker 1 I mean, I could lie to you. I kind of do.
Some guys, certain guys. I don't

Speaker 1 necessarily root for failure, although I don't get upset when Kuiper loves a guy.

Speaker 1 And I don't.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 just being real with you. Sure.
Yeah, sometimes I've watched and I'm like, oh, man, what? Come on now. Here we go.

Speaker 1 What's the guy you guys have disagreed on the most?

Speaker 1 The most? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The two Notre Dame quarterbacks are up.

Speaker 5 You hated Josh Allen last year.

Speaker 1 I didn't.

Speaker 1 I introduced you to Josh Allen. Oh, give me a picture.
I did his conference championship game the year before. You didn't even know who he was.
Oh,

Speaker 5 yeah, but you hated him. So it must not have liked anything you saw.

Speaker 1 This is great. This is great.
You had him as like the seventh or eighth best player in the draft. You're out of your mind.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you had him as a but yeah, okay. Go back to go back, guys.
Go back to some of the little commentary from Mr. McShea, Todd, Todd, Todd, on Josh Allen, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Speaker 5 Okay? I had to defend the guy to the hilt the entire way through the process when everybody was beating up Josh Allen. I defended him, and here we are, franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 It's not even worth it anymore. That's so good.
That's so good.

Speaker 1 Ryan Tannehill is another one, by the way. Oh,

Speaker 1 I like Tannehill.

Speaker 5 You loved him.

Speaker 5 I wasn't high.

Speaker 1 I like like Tan Hill. I'll eat it.
He could still play. If he stayed healthy, if he stayed healthy,

Speaker 2 if he stays healthy, this is the year he takes out.

Speaker 1 He is a good player when he's healthy. Sam Bradford's a good player when he's healthy.
He just can't stay healthy.

Speaker 5 Hey, by the way, Sam Bradford went number one when Clausen went in the second round. At least they could cut the ties with Clausen.
Bradford cost him 18.

Speaker 1 Whoa, Bradford. Believe me.
Bradford broke the record out for Mel.

Speaker 1 Let me give you some advice, Brian.

Speaker 1 Stay away from Brady Quinn and Clausson.

Speaker 1 You're trying to find it.

Speaker 5 Stay away from Bradford. What did that get you?

Speaker 1 This is great.

Speaker 2 This is like back in the day with John Clayton and Sean Salisbury.

Speaker 1 Just going at it. All right, so I'm going to give you guys both a chance to gas up one guy that you love in the first round that maybe not everyone in the NFL draft mock world is seeing.

Speaker 1 So we'll start with you, Mel. What's your guy that you're like, this guy is going to be great? Darnell Savage.
I knew you were going to do that.

Speaker 5 Watch Maryland. You can't even give me my own guy in my own state?

Speaker 1 I mean, geez.

Speaker 5 I'll give you Chris Lindstrom from Boston College if you want him.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 I love Chris Lindstrom. I think he's a heck of a player, but I'm wanting Darnell Savage Jr.
at seven picks the last two years, ran 4-3-6. Heck of a cover guy.
He'll hit you. Fourth leading tackler.

Speaker 5 Opportunistic guy. Tested out great.
Darnell Savage Jr., safety, Maryland.

Speaker 1 I'll go Byron Murphy, corner from Washington.

Speaker 5 Can we stay from the DBs? I gave a DB. Give something else.
Diversify. All right.

Speaker 1 I'll go wide receiver. Pick a position, Mel.
I mean, wide receiver.

Speaker 1 Debo Samuel. If he's in shape, which is a big if.
I think he's the most talented receiver outside of Marquise Brown in this class.

Speaker 1 South Carolina, production slot receiver, big guy, can run after the catch, can help in the return game if you want to utilize him that way. He was the best player at the senior bowl this year.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And when he's healthy, he's a stud. Eagle's a dude.
Did he go? He goes a dude. He's a dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, what about DK Metcalf? So I'm just a fan of the pictures that he puts up. I'm like, that guy looks like he's a football player.

Speaker 1 Well, his three cone and his short shuttle were about the same as Tom Brady's. Yeah.
Is that important for a wide receiver?

Speaker 1 Running routes is not going to be his thing. As I've told Mel before,

Speaker 1 he's a one-trick pony, but it's a hell of a trick. Just get him vertical, put the ball up, and

Speaker 1 you got a shot.

Speaker 5 He's a draft cliche. He's a boomer bust.
And I think a roll of the dice.

Speaker 1 Gamble on greatness.

Speaker 5 Blah, blah, blah. And that's what he...
Take all the cliches and put them on DK Medcalf. Could make your draft or break your heart.
Remember those days we used to say that back in 1979?

Speaker 1 He was two years old. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 But I would use those comments to describe players who were iffy. He's iffy.

Speaker 2 He seems to me like either, well, a classic Raiders pick in the first round or somebody that the Ravens would overcompensate for, that would jump up for in the first round, end up throwing him 10 passes in the first two years.

Speaker 1 How much does hand size matter? Because Drew Locke has nine-inch hands. It's a big deal.
Ooh. Good.

Speaker 1 Well, we've got Romo.

Speaker 5 I think Romo was the one under nine that made it and had a solid career.

Speaker 5 under nine. He's about the only one there.
Nine's the cutoff point for usually having success moving forward. So, yeah, I think there is a validity to that.

Speaker 5 Outlier would be Tony Romo, and you don't draft outliers.

Speaker 2 That's saying. Good point.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who's the most accurate quarterback in the draft this year?

Speaker 1 Haskins.

Speaker 1 Without a doubt, yeah. So if you guys are a little bit of time, he'll shred you.

Speaker 2 Okay, if you guys are curious, in my draft, I've done exactly one pick, and I've got Dwayne Haskins he's definitely going to go to the Redskins you guys are on the right track so be sure to credit me when that happens nice all right so actually I want

Speaker 1 something with Dwayne Haskins I always was curious about this I'll start with you Todd when you're evaluating a guy and his team is stacked and they're playing maybe poor you know not the best like say Ohio State's playing

Speaker 1 I'm not gonna say Purdue because Purdue beat Ohio State but say say they're playing Maryland or that was close yeah Northwestern or Illinois what how do you evaluate a guy when the rest of his team is just beating guys downfield and everything's easy?

Speaker 1 I mean, you got to factor it in. And that's part of the thing with Kyler.
If you don't like Kyler Murray, you go back and say, yeah, he was undefeated in high school.

Speaker 1 But he had 28 guys on his roster that wound up eventually getting Division I scholarships to play football. He had...
Greg Little, the starting offensive tackle, as one of his tackles.

Speaker 1 He had Ben Powers, who was his starting right tackle at Oklahoma. So he's always been protected.
He's always had talent around him.

Speaker 1 And he's in a system with Lincoln Riley that's arguably the best system in college football in terms of getting guys open and setting up a quarterback for success.

Speaker 1 But you also saw what Baker did coming out of Oklahoma a year ago.

Speaker 1 And it's obvious that he has this skill set. So

Speaker 1 you have to factor it in. But it's also why I kind of like Drew Locke.
Because this dude went through three different coordinators in three years of playing at Missouri.

Speaker 1 He, in most SEC games, was overmatched. He's got 46 starts.

Speaker 1 He had an NFL guy come in this past year and Derek Dooley as a coordinator and teach him finally how to think like a quarterback, at least with pass protections, reading coverages, and so on.

Speaker 1 So I like to see guys that have had to battle and grind, but

Speaker 1 it doesn't always correlate.

Speaker 5 You tell him to save something for Thursday.

Speaker 2 Save something for Thursday. For the big show.
Come on.

Speaker 5 So you're letting it all out there today.

Speaker 1 It's a little early, Todd.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're the vet. No, but that's, I mean, I always find it interesting, like, how do you, like, if a team is stacked and everyone's getting open, like, of course it's going to look easy.
Do you,

Speaker 1 in terms of, like, evaluating quarterbacks by conference? This is some dumb thing that us fans do. Never take a Big 12 quarterback.
How long does it take for that narrative to get wiped off?

Speaker 1 Is Baker Mayfield just wiped that off himself?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think it's defensive players in the Big 12 because there's not a lot going on defensively in that conference. You hear hear that.

Speaker 5 But you're still evaluating individuals, and I don't know if you can say, you know, I'm not going to like a player because of a conference or a position because of whatever happened

Speaker 5 down the road five, seven, ten years ago.

Speaker 1 So I don't buy into that.

Speaker 5 I don't evaluate players based on that. That's why I maybe had a few misses more than Todd did over the years.

Speaker 1 I think Baker helped, though, coming from that system, the spread.

Speaker 1 You know, you can go back and look.

Speaker 1 There's always a trailblazer. You know, Russell Wilson helped with the size.
As Mel always says,

Speaker 1 you should get a check from Kyler Murray.

Speaker 5 At least a call to say thank you.

Speaker 1 Yes. Or at least a thank you letter.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would say seven years ago, he was a 75th pick, and then we fast forward to today, and I said then he's the test case for 5'11 below, 6-foot-below quarterbacks.

Speaker 5 And here we are seven years later, Kyler Murray could go number one. That's all because of Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 Combo breaker.

Speaker 2 I like it. So with Kyler Murray, the new knock against him is that he hasn't lost enough in high school and in college.
He hasn't lost enough to know how to bounce back from adversity.

Speaker 2 Do you put any stock in that at all? I watched him get his ass kicked against Alabama.

Speaker 1 Watch it. Watch it.

Speaker 1 You can swear on this podcast. His butt kicked.

Speaker 1 And in the second half, he came back. And clearly, they made adjustments offensively, but he hung in there, man.
And

Speaker 1 that was impressive to me just to watch him against a defense that's, you know, not the best Nick Sabin defense of all time, but just to hang in there and really outplayed Alabama in the second half.

Speaker 1 So there's not a lot of examples of it. I also was at the Texas Tech game where it's that weird Halloween night.

Speaker 1 I was there for the Michael Crabtree upset years and years ago in Lubbock, and they all get dressed up and it's kind of

Speaker 1 an interesting place, let's put it that way. But the momentum was rolling.
He threw two picks early. Texas Tech was going wild

Speaker 1 and then he just hung in there. And so I'm talking to Lincoln, that's one of the, he's not Baker Mayfield.
He's not the leader. He's not like the rah-rah guy.

Speaker 1 He doesn't bring the same energy, but he is poised. He is chill, and nothing's going to really get to him.

Speaker 1 Okay, I want to do some quick rapid-fire questions here, and then I also, we have our draft guru here that has one question as well.

Speaker 1 But the quick rapid-fire questions, Mel, how much pumpkin pie do you actually eat in a given week? Be honest.

Speaker 5 In a given week? Yes. I will go through, depending on the size, because they are smaller and they are the larger.
I will go through two to three a week.

Speaker 1 Okay, so a slice a day? That's a couple. Cool, more than that.
Cool, Oh, more than that. A breakfast? 25.
Is that your breakfast every morning?

Speaker 5 It's breakfast every morning and snack at night.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
That's a good break. But no crust, right? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Don't eat the crust. Only use fat-free whipped cream and fat-free milk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so a little birdie told me that you make a weekly shopping trip to the same grocery store and you buy upwards of 12 cans of whipped cream a week. Can you confirm or deny?

Speaker 5 Yes, I can. Confirm.

Speaker 5 Yeah, over

Speaker 5 near the Magathy where we go over there. The guy, he's ready.
He's ready for me. How did you know that?

Speaker 1 We eat birdies everywhere.

Speaker 5 You You must have spies out everywhere. I'll tell you, because I do.

Speaker 5 After I come,

Speaker 5 they have to stock the thing more and more. Because I just get them all while I'm there.
I might as well get 12, 15 of them, whatever they have.

Speaker 1 Do you go or does Kim go? I go.

Speaker 1 I talk to GM.

Speaker 5 And your spy knows I'm the only one that shows up there.

Speaker 1 Your spy about that. All right, so Mel.

Speaker 5 That's good. I'm impressed.

Speaker 1 Mel, sticking on the food stuff. Is it true that you take the cheese off your pizza and dip it in mashed potatoes? That is correct.
Jesus Christ, man. What's wrong with you? Can you believe it?

Speaker 5 Hey, hey, I went to my cardiologist a couple weeks ago, and I told him that. He said, eat the blanking crust.

Speaker 1 That was a message. He screamed at me.

Speaker 1 He yells at me for

Speaker 1 because every night the conversation is we go back to the hotel is, what are you going to get for dinner? And he's always like, I don't understand. Why haven't you tried the pizza?

Speaker 1 Try the pizza. Get some mashed potatoes.
The mashed potatoes are good. You can dip it in the.
And I'm like, Mel, this is not how normal people function. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 I know. Hey, guys, I never claimed to be normal.

Speaker 1 That's true. We love you, you, Mel.

Speaker 2 You're also very well known for not taking bathroom breaks during the draft. You had quite a record going on there for a while.

Speaker 2 What's your regimen? Do you not drink water at all or do you just focus so hard that you don't have to pee?

Speaker 5 No, I just, well, there is method to the madness, guys. When you are, as Todd knows, when you're plugged into all these things, and I've always believed once you leave the set, I'm done for the day.

Speaker 1 Breaks the business.

Speaker 1 It's hard. It's 15 times a day.

Speaker 5 It's hard for me to get back into the flow of a show and get the same enthusiasm. And I don't feel like a little disconnect when I leave the set and have to come back.

Speaker 5 So we used to be forced off when the commissioner came back in the day. We would all leave, let the commissioner come up, and Boomer would do that interview.
Now,

Speaker 5 they preview,

Speaker 5 do a prior to. So now you don't have to leave the set.
I sip water.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 He has a bottle of water next to him the whole time. And maybe like the sixth round, he will finally crack it.
I will. And have just a little.

Speaker 1 And I eat nothing.

Speaker 5 I eat zero. No, Todd knows that.
Nothing.

Speaker 2 no pumpkin pie

Speaker 5 on draft day all right well Todd ruined you heard about what he did when he ruined my pumpkin pie at the set two years ago no he spray you can't you can't when you get a pumpkin pie guys you can't take the fat free whipped cream and spray it all over the pie because it's going to melt that's why it's fat free it's not like regular whipped cream which will hang in there longer so you got to spray eat spray eat spray eat

Speaker 1 when he's celebrating his 35th year or whatever on the draft we did something nice we got him a pumpkin pie and i thought it would be a nice gesture to put the whipped cream on it for him so he could eat it.

Speaker 1 And he started yelling. Okay, throws in the trash.
Okay, all right. Last quick question.
This one's for you, Todd. Obviously, our boss, you know him very well.

Speaker 1 You were born in the same hospital, Dave Portnoy. You were childhood friends with him.
I don't know if you're adult friends.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know if you're adult friends with him, but you saw him grow up, play sports.

Speaker 1 Do you think it is sad that he still talks about his high school glory days, or was he that good of an athlete?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, let's face it, he's living his teens and 20s as a 40-year-old which is is dicey at best i don't know how long it's going to last um all right the the real story he was

Speaker 1 i used to play quarterback when we were i think like nine eight nine years old c-squad i think it was i used to take the snap hand it off to dave he would he was so much faster than everyone on the field that he would run around the end even if it was an inside run he didn't want to get hit but he also had the speed to do it and that would be the play like Like, I would throw maybe once or twice a game because he would have, I don't know, 250, 300 yards.

Speaker 1 Damn. Then all of a sudden, his shoulders fell apart.
He couldn't throw the ball. I mean, we would have to have a cutoff man

Speaker 1 in like in the like

Speaker 1 20 yards from him because he just couldn't reach.

Speaker 1 He could always rake, though. He was a really good hitter.
Okay, so he's a DH for life, and he was a young Bo Jackson. That's a fair answer.
All right. Our last question.

Speaker 1 Stephen Shea, our mock draft expert. He actually puts it on our prep sheet today on our radio show on Sirius.
He had expert opinions. It was Todd McShea, Mel Kuyper, Daniel Jeremiah, Stephen Chea.

Speaker 1 So he's a colleague of your guys now. He's got his last question for you guys before we let you go.
All right, hey, guys. So Greedy Williams, most polarizing player in the draft.

Speaker 1 Everybody's all over the board with him. Mel, you had him ranked really high going into the pre-draft process.

Speaker 1 Now we're seeing potential second round, people questioning his work ethic, lack of tackling, toughness. Where do you guys sit on him right now, a few days before the drive?

Speaker 5 He's a hard one. He's a hard one because he had a stinger early.

Speaker 5 He maybe was thinking, I would call it third-year sophomore itis instead of senior itis, maybe thinking about staying healthy, getting through the year because he wasn't 100%.

Speaker 5 I don't want to get hurt even more, but I want to finish the thing out. I don't know what was going on, but tackling was an issue.
Now, in some games during his career, he did tackle better.

Speaker 5 He ran 4-3. He's got obviously the height and the ability to be a good cover corner.
Will he be a one-dimensional player in the NFL? We don't know.

Speaker 5 If he is, he's not going to play for long because you've got to tackle.

Speaker 5 In this league with the bubble screens, the short passes, the extension of the running game to these receivers, you've got to be able to tackle. You can't play with 10 men.
So

Speaker 5 he's another one, like we talked about with Rashawn Gary, DK Medcalf, kind of a boomer-bust, but I think he goes to Kansas City at the end of the first round.

Speaker 1 Okay. Or near the end of the first round.
He's a buffet tackler.

Speaker 1 Makes it tough. Picks and chooses when he wants to tackle.
And, like Mel said,

Speaker 1 it's not an endearing trait, but there are teams like Kansas City that absolutely need speed, and he's got it. Four threes.
He's got length. You know, he's over 6'1.

Speaker 1 And he's a guy that just can turn his hips and run with anybody. And those guys are hard to find.

Speaker 1 So I think he's going to be a first-round pick, but I think it's going to be in the 20, like 20 to 32 rather than what we thought early on, which is going to be top 10.

Speaker 5 And Todd, we talked about the two teams that you would think would take a corner and would look at him probably won't because you think Steelers, do you think Greedy Williams when you're the Steelers?

Speaker 5 Do you think Greedy Williams when you're John Gruden and the Raiders? John Gruden would scream to us for all those because you can't have a corner who doesn't tackle.

Speaker 5 So the two teams, if you're projecting this, guys, you wouldn't put Greedy Williams two necessarily, would be the Steelers at 20, and then the Raiders with those two picks with 24, and I think 27.

Speaker 1 All right, guys. Thank you so much.
First draft is their podcast, Todd McShea and Mel Kuyper. You'll see them on Thursday night.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 1 This was a great little eye into the world and the relationship of Todd McShea and Mel Kuyper. I could hear you embarrassing all the time.

Speaker 5 One of these days, we dig a little deeper into that, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, come back and do it again. I can tell you a lot of good things about Todd that you have no clue about.

Speaker 1 Hey, Todd, one gripe. On first draft, let's have no more taping in your car on the side of the road.
No more, I know. No more eating.
No more

Speaker 1 eating during the show. And then

Speaker 1 when you post the podcast links, no more broken links. All right.

Speaker 1 Get it together. Yeah.
Sounds like you need a producer.

Speaker 2 Are you calling for a producer job on that show right now?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to be here. Todd, you're actually talking to Stephen Shea, who went, I think you said.

Speaker 1 I can actually hear the confidence growing in your voice as you're talking right now. I like it.
Yeah, he's ready to go.

Speaker 1 I think you said, like, I'm opening up the mailbag, and he used that mailbag as a place to complain. Don't get me started on posting Ryan Rossillo.
And actually, you guys did it today.

Speaker 1 It was a little bit more relevant, but you did the Know Them From Adam or the Adam Schefter podcast. You guys posted a full Rosillo podcast.

Speaker 1 When I was looking for draft scoops, you were talking about the eighth seed in the E-SERC conference on the NBA. Got me pretty fired up.
All right. Are you done yet? Would you like to apologize?

Speaker 1 You go forever, Taunton. You go forever.

Speaker 2 Do you want to apologize to him?

Speaker 1 I'm good, man. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I've had a long enough day. All right.
Thanks, guys. Appreciate it.
Thanks. You got it, guys.

Speaker 5 I'm going, man.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 2 Get Uber One for Students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Speaker 2 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 6 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 6 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 6 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments.

Speaker 1 First up, we have a take quake. It comes from the New York Daily News, and it was, did Babe Ruth ever hurt his oblique? Blame supplements and weights for these injuries.

Speaker 1 And the article basically goes on to say the players in today's game are hurting themselves because they're weightlifting.

Speaker 1 And Babe Ruth, who died at the age 52 and was super fat and ate a shitload of hot dogs, was actually the model of the perfect health, the perfect athlete.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think that baseball players should start smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey in the dugout again because you never heard of guys back in the 20s tearing their ACL.

Speaker 2 They just limped around like fools for the last 40 years of their life if they were lucky.

Speaker 2 It's a pretty hilarious take.

Speaker 2 I like where it's coming from. I like the motive behind it, trying to stir things up.

Speaker 2 Anytime, if you're a Yankees writer, if you can just toss Babe Ruth into a column, that's always a winner. You're always going to get clicks from that.
So

Speaker 2 a tip of the cap to whoever wrote that article. I'm kind of with him.

Speaker 2 I actually do think in a way,

Speaker 2 athletes getting bigger, stronger, faster will lead to more injuries that we haven't seen before.

Speaker 2 But then we just need to figure out how to heal those injuries with new supplements and create new kinds of injuries that we don't know about.

Speaker 1 It's the old John Daly. You can't pull fat.
That's why he's never injured. It's also Bob Wiley.
He kind of stole from Bob Wiley.

Speaker 1 When Bob Wiley said that, you know, they stormed the beaches in Normandy. They weren't doing stretches beforehand.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and everybody turned out fine.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. That was totally fine.
I do love that Babe Ruth is the guy they use, though, like who was severely overweight, played against sub-par competition, and died at age 52.

Speaker 1 If you want to do that,

Speaker 1 make sure you never lift a weight.

Speaker 2 It's like the picture of that quarterback who was smoking a cigarette and drinking a Pepsi at halftime of the Super Bowl. Like, that dude never got diagnosed with a concussion, so you tell me.

Speaker 1 Exactly. All right, we have Trouble in Paradise.
This is for Bryce Harper and the Phillies. So Bryce Harper got kicked out of a game on Monday night.

Speaker 1 It's actually his 12th ejection in his career, which is second most

Speaker 1 since 2012 to only Matt Kemp. And afterwards, Jake Arietta, the love of my life, said,

Speaker 1 basically called him out. It was like, we need him in right field.
We don't need him kicked out of games. And what's the clock at? We're still in April.

Speaker 1 Bryce Harper already maybe pissing off some teammates. Because Jake Ariada is always right, just so you know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think he's extra right in this circumstance.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing about Bryce. He's good for like four or five of these a year.
He just blows up. He's got a hair trigger.

Speaker 1 It's very.

Speaker 2 I thank God every day that Bryce Harper is a Mormon who doesn't drink.

Speaker 2 Because can you imagine the kind of shit this guy would get into if he was a drinker, if he was like out on the town with a temper like this?

Speaker 2 It's actually a very, very good thing for him that he's stone cold sober because he's kind of a psycho. But good for Jake for keeping him in line.
I think he needed somebody.

Speaker 2 He needs somebody who's more of an alpha than he is on the team. Because if Bryce is your leader, then your whole team is just going to be like a zoo.

Speaker 1 Listen, I watched the Bryce Harper ejection. My problem with it is you need, if you're Bryce Harper and you get ejected all the time, he goes crazy, goes ballistic on the ump, then he gets kicked out.

Speaker 1 He walks past past everything in the dugout, and I'm just waiting for him to smash something, to throw the gum on the field, to throw bats on the field.

Speaker 1 If you're going to be the ejection guy, you need to earn it, and you need to be the crazy ejection guy who every single time he gets ejected, you just don't know what the fuck's going to happen.

Speaker 2 I think for Bryce, it's like sex. So once he gets ejected, that's like his nut, and then all he wants to do is just lay down and smoke a cigarette.
He's like totally calm after he gets that ejection.

Speaker 2 He just needs to get it in real quick. But yeah, yeah, I agree.
It would be nice to see him take a baseball bat to a bullpen phone. That would be kind of fun.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
Carlos Zambrano is making a comeback. Maybe he can teach him how to take apart a Gatorade machine.

Speaker 1 Bad visual, the Milwaukee Bucks fans chanting, we want Boston after they beat, swept the Detroit Pistons.

Speaker 1 It's tough because they're the number one seed, and it's kind of weird to be like, we want the four seed.

Speaker 1 Hank, what were your thoughts on this?

Speaker 4 It's a mistake.

Speaker 1 It's a mistake? You think it's a mistake? You think the Celtics are going to beat the Bucs? Yeah. Really?

Speaker 4 I think it's going to be a good series.

Speaker 4 Like I said on Monday, it's a battle. But when you do shit like this, as you guys know in sports, it's just a mistake.
Why poke the bear?

Speaker 1 But it's

Speaker 1 not the team.

Speaker 4 Still, you know that's going to get the players going. We want Boston.
We want Boston.

Speaker 4 They're going to get him.

Speaker 2 Do you think that that mentality carries down to the team, or is it just the fans?

Speaker 4 I think it carries down.

Speaker 4 When you're the number one seed, you or your fans can't be doing stuff like this.

Speaker 1 I do agree with that. The number one seed part of it, like, you're going to be favored,

Speaker 1 you're at home for the first two games, you have the best player in the series. Like, just, you know, go with that.
But I also can understand

Speaker 1 the standpoint that the Bucs haven't really been, they haven't been this good for 20 years. So there's a lot of excitement in Milwaukee.
Milwaukee is a great city, except for the Packers fans.

Speaker 1 But everything else, you know, Giannis is...

Speaker 1 If you're a Bucs fan, like, could you imagine if you were a Bucs fan right now with Christian Yelich and Giannis? Like, you'd be losing your mind. And it makes sense.

Speaker 1 Like, you would be fucking losing your mind. It's like the heyday of Milwaukee sports right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's pretty good. And the thing is, the Bucs haven't won a playoff series in a really long time.
And so they don't have any of the old-timers to bring back to do any of the ceremonial stuff.

Speaker 2 Like, if they were to make the finals, if we're looking ahead a little bit, who would the Bucs bring back? Like, who would the legends be that they would introduce? There's like nobody. Michael Redd.

Speaker 2 I'm getting there.

Speaker 1 Michael Redd and Joe Prunty.

Speaker 2 I'm getting there. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 They would have to lower that tweet from the banners from the Raptors.

Speaker 1 Yes, they would lower that tweet

Speaker 1 ready to go. Spencer Haas.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's been a while since the Bucs have had a very good team. Yeah, they haven't won a playoff series.
I'm looking at it right now since 2000. Woof.

Speaker 2 Sheesh. Yeah, it's been a while.
It's been a while, but they do look like clearly the best team in the East so far, I think. Yeah.
Maybe not clearly. The Celtics are pretty good.

Speaker 2 Kyrie's been playing well. He believes the Earth is round now.
He's traveling with an Atlas. Did you see that? So I think that those are the two best teams definitely in the East.

Speaker 2 I think the Bucs are going to do it, though. I think they're going to make the finals.

Speaker 1 By the way, since we're on the Bucs, I just had to mention this

Speaker 1 for our main guy, Joe Prunty.

Speaker 1 When the Suns coach got fired today,

Speaker 1 this was reported. In talking with players,

Speaker 1 the one thing that they all liked Igor, but never felt like he was in charge. They felt like Joe Prunty, the assistant coach, was more in charge.
So look at that.

Speaker 1 Joe Prunty becoming an alpha in his own right.

Speaker 2 Fucking love. I like that.
Taking guys' knees out. He's getting a mean streak.
That's what Joe needed.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Last up, before we get to guys on chicks, PR 101, Von Miller back in the news for his shark hunting.

Speaker 1 Turns out he's not in trouble for it. So the fisherman, I think, is in trouble for it, but Von Miller himself is not in trouble for it.
It's just an excuse, though, to do two things.

Speaker 1 One, talk about Von Miller holding up a shark, and two, Jim McIlwain fucked a shark. People shouldn't forget.

Speaker 2 That's absolutely correct. Thank you for bringing that up because you know I was about to.

Speaker 2 It's a very easy PR 101 that Vaughn has done, I think, over the last six months or whenever the picture was taken. He's just worn his glasses more.

Speaker 2 And any lawyer will tell you, if you're on trial for murder, like who is it, Casey Anthony?

Speaker 2 Just wear glasses to court. People think that people with glasses are less likely to do bad things.
They're more innocent, that sort of thing.

Speaker 2 And he's been wearing his big hornrim glasses constantly for like the last year. I think that had a lot to do with it.
He could have also just been like, oh, I got bad vision.

Speaker 2 And it was a hammerhead shark that had eyes on the side of its head. So it reminded me of Swag Kelly's mugshot.
I thought it was a picture of Swag Kelly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he should actually just tweet the picture of Jim McElwain. Not Jim McIlwain, but the guy who looks a lot like Jim McElwain, fucking the shark.

Speaker 1 And it's like, no one will, like, that will just go reviral. and no one will care that Von Miller was ever in a shark

Speaker 1 I don't even know what you'd call it like he was in

Speaker 2 he was in a shark case he was in a case about sharks he followed orders and uh and caught a shark yeah it was not his fault it was probably John Elway's fault John Elway was probably like hey I need their fins so I can get an erection when I draft Daniel Jones on draft night it's actually kind of cool for Von Miller to be like I was in a criminal complaint about sharks like just walk around and tell people that he literally beat a shark.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He is the king of the ocean.

Speaker 1 Yes. Hank, guys on chicks, wrap it up.

Speaker 4 Hi, PMT boys, especially Big Jay Leroy.

Speaker 1 Eh. Eh, he deletes tweets.

Speaker 4 When's the right time to send nudes to a new guy you're interested in? I want more than a hookup type thing, so I don't want to give the wrong impression, but I also like sending nudes.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I think you got to send nudes after the third text, right? Third date is sex, third text is nudes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, third text is in in like the third line of text that you send.

Speaker 1 Yes, correct. So it's like, hey, what's up? Nothing much.
How about you? Boom, here's my pussy.

Speaker 2 Think about you. And then, yeah, boom, full rug.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 2 I like that. I mean, it sounds like, listen, you should do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.
So if you like sending nudes, then send nudes.

Speaker 2 I would just be very careful with your operational security. Things get out in the cloud.
You don't want to be in the cloud.

Speaker 2 So I don't know. I'm not really a nudes guy, I guess.
I don't know how to lock those things down.

Speaker 2 I guess just use Snapface.

Speaker 1 Yeah, by the way, someone needs to create a nudes

Speaker 1 watermarking so that you can track all your nudes so that if ever you have a spiteful ex that tries to throw them out there, you have the exact, like, very undercover. It's almost like a barcode.

Speaker 1 You'd be like, yep, it came from that person. Boom.
They're in jail. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 You can see exactly. You can trace your nudes.
Yes. Yeah, I agree with that.
And I'm I'm honestly a little bit jealous of women for being able to send nudes because you guys have it so easy.

Speaker 2 Just get decent lighting and it looks good. With a guy, it's like you have to really

Speaker 2 99 out of 100 times, it's a bad, bad nude, even if it's a good nude. You have to really work hard at sending one of those.
Yes.

Speaker 4 Sup, boys, especially Big Cat.

Speaker 1 What up?

Speaker 4 What would you recommend a girl do when the top buttons of her blouse pop off while at work?

Speaker 1 I would say maybe grab the nearest jug of water and just pour it all over you and pretend that you're in a music video.

Speaker 2 I didn't hear the question. I'm sorry.
Can you repeat that?

Speaker 4 Basically, you're at Carl's Jr. sandwich.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your shirt starts popping open

Speaker 1 at work, and it's time to pretend that you're in a deaf leopard music video and just start straddling a bunch of Camaros.

Speaker 2 Yeah, absolutely. Just toss on the white snake and do one of those Magnum PI slides across the hood.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine was walking down the street and her buttons kept getting unbuttoned and everybody fell in love with her.

Speaker 2 The nice thing is, if it's an accident, people will understand, but they'll still be really, really nice to you all the time because they're like, oh, it's an attractive girl.

Speaker 1 Six Seinfeld reference, Mike Florio.

Speaker 4 Sup, sup, sup, Hank, PFT, and Big Cat, respectively. If the guy I was hooking up with for over a year sleeps with my best friend, does that mean all of his friends are on the table for me now as well?

Speaker 4 Yes. Operation Petty War may ensue soon.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 This This is. Yes, they definitely are.
Yes, you got to fuck everyone. Everyone.
You know what?

Speaker 2 You have entered the game. Yes.
And it's afoot. So unbeknownst to him, he is about to get involved in just a contest to see who can fuck the other person's friends more.
So good luck. Godspeed.

Speaker 2 I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 1 And it's nothing's off the table. I'm talking friends.
I'm talking family. I'm talking favorite podcasters.
You got to fuck them all.

Speaker 2 Yeah, especially the podcasters. And I would recommend just going.

Speaker 2 Here's how you totally alpha him right off the bat sleep with two of his friends at once yeah there you go two podcasters at once hank and bubba

Speaker 4 hey boys especially lord big cat oh how do i convince my 25 year old boyfriend to ditch his twin bed and buy a big kid bed what the fuck

Speaker 1 dude

Speaker 1 honestly i know we like a lot of times we give you know facetious advice here but you got to break up with him like there's no

Speaker 1 you can't have a twin bed. It's a red flag.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 that's a sign of...

Speaker 1 There's signs of immaturity. That's a sign of not only immaturity, but just, like, life comfort that

Speaker 1 you are just... Bubba, do you have a twin bed? Fuck no.
Okay,

Speaker 1 I was starting to get looks from Bubba. Holy shit.
Yeah, if you still have a twin bed out of college, you're just fucking up in so many, so many ways.

Speaker 2 Okay, there's a really easy way to do this. So go out with him one night.
Both of you guys get really drunk. And then when you fall asleep, piss the bed and make him think that he did it.

Speaker 2 And then be like, oh, it's so gross. I can't stay over at this place anymore on this mattress that you peed.
And then make him get a new one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just like Poppy and Seinfeld.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 Sick reference, Mike Florio.

Speaker 4 When men blatantly scratch/slash adjust their balls in person, do they know we can obviously see them, or do they think no one's paying attention?

Speaker 1 No, we just don't care.

Speaker 2 We don't care.

Speaker 1 At all.

Speaker 2 Whatsoever. Very easy.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing about scrotums. Take out a notebook and a pen.

Speaker 2 They can stick. They can pinch.
They can be very, very painful. So would you rather me sit there thinking about how bad my nuts hurt?

Speaker 2 Or would you rather me just take a deft little pince, a classy little nip and tug, and then I'm back to focusing on you and all the problems that you're telling me about your life right now?

Speaker 2 I think it's pretty easy.

Speaker 2 You just want me to grab my balls for half a second.

Speaker 1 There's also just a little caveman brain thing that goes on with every guy that if you don't put your hands down your pants, like, I don't know, in like a 12-hour period, you got to just check to make sure it's still there.

Speaker 1 Like, even though it's attached to your body, you're like, oh, wait, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. My balls are still there.

Speaker 2 And it's also just cool as hell. Yeah.
Just like a dude that's touching his crotch, not giving a fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, boom, put your hand in their face, make them smell it. Like, that's hot.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You kind of, it's just like reminding them.
You're like, hey, guess what? I've got balls. Yeah.
And you like balls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you like to lick balls.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 4 last one. My dad, brother, and husband are all former football players.
I have a five-year-old son who wants to start playing. How do I convince him to do anything else?

Speaker 4 Just put a lacrosse stick in his hand.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I would say put a lacrosse stick in his hand, or you could go all in and give him the James Harrison, take their souls. Make sure you take their souls.

Speaker 2 You know, here's what you teach your son very poor tackling technique, and then he breaks his arm in his first practice, and then he'll never want to play again.

Speaker 1 Ooh, good point. Oh, no, here's what you do.
You get him a helmet that's way too small so taking it off will make his ears really uncomfortable and then he'll probably quit.

Speaker 2 Oh yeah, that's another good one. That's what I did with her.
Or like the wrong size pads. The wrong size pads will ruin a football career for sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Or just put, yeah, like Hank said, put a guitar in his hand and a rugby ball in the other and he'll be super cool.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 All right. That's our show.
We'll see everyone Friday. We're going to be watching the draft, obviously, live.
We'll have a post-draft reaction from the studio. We're excited for that.

Speaker 1 We also have some big guests coming up. Hall of Famers.

Speaker 1 One could be if he keeps going the way he is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that would be a real shame.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hank's thinking. Hall of Famers.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 a doctor.

Speaker 2 We and a guy that plays a doctor on TV. Broadcast Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 A broadcast Hall of Famer, potentially. All right.
See you then.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 I'm talking away.

Speaker 2 I don't know what I'm to say and say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today isn't my day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Dang

Speaker 1 on me. Take

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me. I'm here.

Speaker 1 a colour.