Scott Van Pelt + Game Of Thrones S8E1 Recap (Big Cat watched all 7 seasons)

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 the return of the one true king. Yes, that is Scott Van Pelt live from Augusta talking about Tiger.
He really, we couldn't have picked a better guest for this show.

Speaker 1 He's known Tiger is Tiger's entire career, covered him, was at Augusta. Really fun story from him about like seeing Tiger, the happiest Tiger he's ever seen.
We also have Who's Back of the Week.

Speaker 1 We have a couple fun segments and

Speaker 1 a Game of Thrones recap, an actual one. Big announcement.
Big announcement. I've been watching Game of Thrones and PFT watched the 16th.
Actually, twice, you watched the 16th.

Speaker 1 I watched 32 aggregate minutes of Game of Thrones recaps. And PFC watched the first episode with us on the eighth season.
So we're all coming up. I have many questions.
Yes.

Speaker 1 It's time, though, before we get going.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then a lot of work to be done.

Speaker 1 Low paper, and a low washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. It's part of my tape presented by

Speaker 1 Stool Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome Welcome to part of my tape presented by the Cash App. Are you presenting sponsors? Thank you for the Cash App.
Today is Monday, April 15th, actually tax day. And Tiger is back.

Speaker 1 And actually, tax day. And actually, tax day.
Did you guys follow your extensions? Extension Day.

Speaker 1 Extension City. Now, somebody told me that you have to send in how much you think that you owe them before you follow the extension.
I don't think that's real. 90%.
Never done it. That's what I heard.

Speaker 1 90% of it. 90% of what you think that you owe.
So you can round that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think I owe a negative $2,000. So do they have to send me like $1,900? I think so.
Pretty much. $1,800.
Remember your taxes. Remember your taxes.
If you're listening to this, it's too late.

Speaker 1 But the real story is Tiger Woods is officially back. I knew it from the second he stepped foot onto that first T-box.
With that red that he was wearing, the mock turtleneck looking good.

Speaker 1 Mock turtlenecks made a huge comeback.

Speaker 1 It was like a neon red that he was wearing. I saw that.
I was like, it's over. It's over.
He had that tiger swagger.

Speaker 1 We have Scott Van Pelton who talked to us in depth about seeing old Tiger back, but it really felt like that. And it was the most fun sports event that I can remember in a very long time.

Speaker 1 When one of your teams isn't involved, because everyone is either rooting for Tiger because they, you know, we America loves a redemption story. We tore him down.

Speaker 1 The DUIs, the infidelity, the sex scandal, all that shit, and then watching him build back up or you're someone like us in our age group where you got into golf because of tiger woods yeah golf became fun in the late 90s because of tiger woods so for to see him come back dominate and win the masters in like a star studded field where it was insane for a while there was just an all-time moment everyone chanting tiger his kids that's why sports are fun for those of you that might not have remembered what golf was like pre-tiger in the pt era this i'm talking like mid-90s, early 90s.

Speaker 1 It was basically like Ernie Ells and Jim Furik,

Speaker 1 just like lanking around out there and wearing very finely pressed khakis. And then Tiger came in.
Very patterned shirts. Very strange patterns.
Greg Norman's pattern shirts were always weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the great white shark with the, he's the golden bear, remember? Yeah, the strange, the golden bear, the golden bear. And then Tiger came in, and then all of a sudden, golfers are athletes now.

Speaker 1 Yep. They're swagged out.
Ricky Fowler is wearing like University of Tennessee belts. Brooks Katco.

Speaker 1 Brooks like he could be a quarterback in the NFL. I said Brooks Kepka maybe 700 times this week.
It's addicting. This is literally addicting.

Speaker 1 Hearing Nick Faldo say Brooks Kipka in his native tongue is it gets me. No, he's very American.
Yes. People are, I think you confuse some people thinking that Brooks Kipka.
No, he's from South Africa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's from South Africa. And Brux Kipkem from South Africa.

Speaker 1 The hand up, I never thought I'd see Tiger back in this spot.

Speaker 1 I was definitely in the camp of he will never, he'll, you know, be in it in it maybe a couple times, maybe flirt with one, win a couple shell opens or whatever the fuck is out there, but he'll never win another major.

Speaker 1 I was very wrong, but it's one of those times where I'm happy to be wrong. I'm happy to eat Crow and be like, hey, guess what?

Speaker 1 All my takes were wrong, but it was awesome to watch him win, and I'm happy that he's back. That's what should be on the menu for the next championships, Crow.
Crow.

Speaker 1 Everybody's going to make everybody.

Speaker 1 Jackets eat Crow and Christian Yellich's ass. Yeah.
No, it was a lot of fun. I don't remember the last time I've had this much fun watching golf on a Sunday Sunday ever.
Yes. And it was amazing.

Speaker 1 I think the security guard that slide-tackled Tiger, which, by the way, was that Tiger? You milked that one Tiger. He milked it a little bit, but

Speaker 1 he tore his Achilles, and then you slow-mo, and the guy didn't even touch it. No, he clipped him.
He clipped him. Whatever happened, that security guard needs to get a little taste.

Speaker 1 He needs to get at least the Matt Couchar. Yeah.
Like, what was it, 0.06%

Speaker 1 of the purse should go to that guy because he got fired, I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 Well, that was also a good spot for Tiger because, you know, when Tiger was was on his way back, when he had all the surgeries and stuff, anytime things went wrong, he could basically just go to his knees and be like, I'm hurt.

Speaker 1 So, that was kind of a hey, Tiger, here's a freebie that you can say you're hurt. Oh, wait, you don't need it.

Speaker 1 You're you can overcome all this stuff, and you can win the Masters your fifth green jacket.

Speaker 1 Hilarious watching Patrick Reed have to hand it to him after all the shit that went down in the Ryder Cup and the Butler cabin. Jim Nance just owns that thing.

Speaker 1 He made Nick Faldo cry, which was actually, let's put the audio in there. There's a ward down there and reminisce.

Speaker 1 He's going to chew me up.

Speaker 1 There.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 That's exactly how you were when you won the green jacket in here.

Speaker 1 People won't always see the side of you.

Speaker 1 I knew you wanted to do that to me.

Speaker 1 You rottes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, special memories.

Speaker 1 All time, I'm going to make you cry on live television and then just kind of alpha you. He just gave him a handshake.
He's like, yep, I knew you fucked me, you baby ass bitch.

Speaker 1 My work here is done yeah jim nance is like uh a seal team six member with his interrogation skills he should honestly be a member of the military and just like lock somebody in the butler cabin with him and he will crack he will make you crack within like five minutes and the terrorists will be crying and saying how their dad taught them to build a suicide vest and where they're going with it it was the jerry maguire rod tidwell when he's just like yeah i i knew you're gonna make me cry nick falder just sitting there choking up choking back the tears big time masters is a big time memory memory lane for Everyone's like, got to go down memory.

Speaker 1 They always just, hey, we don't want to show golf right this second. Let's just show a masters from 1988.

Speaker 1 It couldn't, it didn't even have to be that important, but you can get someone to cry about it. Yeah, if you notice, before

Speaker 1 the coverage started, I think on Saturday, they had like two hours of Jim Nance just remembering things from the Masters. Yeah, and there's an hour just solely for Jack.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's always an hour for Jack.

Speaker 1 They're just like, hey, here's Jack. One of my favorite parts after Tiger One was Jim Nance saying, and I've got an exclusive message from Jack Nicholas who says, great for golf.

Speaker 1 So happy to see the guy win again. This is amazing.
And it turns out it was just a tweet that Jack Nicholas had sent out. Right, right.
That Jack Nicholas didn't even send out.

Speaker 1 His grandson sent out because Jack Nicholas was bone fishing off the coast of Florida, which Tiger probably was like, ooh. That sounds pretty good to me.

Speaker 1 I think Jim Nance probably just has on his Twitter, he only follows Jack Nicholas. So he just assumed that that was a text directly to him.
Yes. Does Jim Nance even have Twitter? He might not even.

Speaker 1 He's got a burner.

Speaker 1 Someone definitely said that, hey, we got a personal text. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He just opened his Twitter and he's like, oh, Jack's talking to me. Oh, Jack's talking to me again.
Damn, this is awesome.

Speaker 1 I want to add a couple things in about the broadcast.

Speaker 1 Vern, Vern, amazing. The best.
He is great.

Speaker 1 I don't even think that he gets paid to do this anymore, does he? He just shows up. Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
Yeah. I love Vern.
It really is great to have him.

Speaker 1 And I know SEC fans don't love him because he got a little bit senile towards the end with football. But his voice, and also

Speaker 1 It's also one of those things that it's knowing where the voice is coming from. It's coming from this just big round basketball of announcing that just makes it great.

Speaker 1 Like you can just see his rosy cheeks smiling as he as he announces Tiger on the 17th or whatever hole he has. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Uncle Vernon would be the easiest guess who character to nail if you're playing against him. He looks like all of them.
Yeah, exactly. Like he's a mix of everybody.

Speaker 1 So a couple notes about the broadcast. One, I don't think I root for the course anymore.
The course got embarrassed. This is a bad weekend for the course.
Yeah. A lot of low scores.

Speaker 1 I'm not a big Augusta's a different one. Like I root for the U.S.
Open course because it changes. And the British Open.
And you also want to see how the different courses add up.

Speaker 1 Like, was it as good as last year's course? And where are they putting the pins? Oh, the USGA, they're really fucking with people.

Speaker 1 Augusta is just like, hey, we're just going to, you know, have some birds near microphones. We're going to do some azaleas,

Speaker 1 some pines, and a couple, you know, some mulch, some really nice brown mulch, and boom, you got a tournament.

Speaker 1 It wouldn't surprise me if they actually like lavaliered mic'd up some of the birds oh I think they put they pin microphones onto their little breasts I honestly think they have microphones in the trees yeah they do because some of those birds like they're in your ear very loud they're all the way in your ear loud birds another note that I have I root for the cameraman now okay when you when you see a guy hit like a

Speaker 1 a long second shot an approach shot into a par four and the cameraman tracks the ball in the air as it's falling down how the fuck does that happen that's a sport i also like when they lose it and they just go to the uh all right we fucked up we lost it and they just zoom out yeah like you find it it's it's so funny there are two funny things that they do with the camera work there one is if it's on the wrong spot on the green and you see the ball land like 50 yards away yes that's always good comedy the other is when they show it landing on the green and then they do the world's slowest zoom out and you see that the ball even though it's on the green it's still like 70 yards away from what's like turns out that was a really shitty shot he nailed that shot yeah he's he's still got to use a pitcher picture gledge.

Speaker 1 The other new addition that they made this year, I loved the scrolling leaderboard that they had. That was like an app.

Speaker 1 It was like you were swiping up on your phone and it was scrolling up. Because for the only three hours a day that I'm not on my phone, I want to feel like I'm on my phone.
Same with themasters.com.

Speaker 1 The leaderboard was on top and they made it look like Instagram stories. Yeah, they did.
I wanted those little circles. I kept on trying to click on it.

Speaker 1 Like, ooh, I wonder what Tiger's doing right now. The Tiger would have some lessons in Instagram stories.

Speaker 1 The only good good thing about the course is watching people continuously fail on the 16th with the water. Oh, we had,

Speaker 1 speaking of having it be like a vintage Sunday with Tiger being back, Rick Riley also back when he fired off. Who spent more time in water? Michael Phelps or Francesco Molinari? That was so close.

Speaker 1 Actually, Michael Phelps always plays. Well, Rick, Michael Phelps is very, very fast.
So he's... You should have picked a bad swimmer that would have spent more time in water.

Speaker 1 Because he gets in and then out. Yeah, someone who famously drowned.
Catherine Wood. Napoleon.
Who spends more time in water? Yeah. Paul Bonaparte got drowned? No, I just

Speaker 1 was on an island, so I assume. I mean, usually when people go to islands, they probably try to swim off it and then drown, right? Yeah, that's generally how it happens.

Speaker 1 From the rock, that's a good one. Maybe.
A polar bear. A polar bear that's experiencing the effects of climate change.
Yes. Or drink Malinari.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's too cute.
I don't like that.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, it was awesome. I loved it.
I also love the caddies wearing numbers. That's an underrated Augusta tradition.

Speaker 1 I looked it up.

Speaker 1 Do you know how they give out the numbers for the caddies?

Speaker 1 And their little painter outfits. Yeah, to keep track in case one tries to escape.

Speaker 1 No, so the defending champion, their caddy gets number one. Ooh.
Okay, and then everybody else just gets theirs in the order by which players officially register to compete in the tournament. Yeah,

Speaker 1 so then it's just totally random. Get your paperwork in.
That's why John Daly, his caddy was probably always like infinity. Sign up early.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just remember to sign up early. Can you imagine if you forgot to sign up for the masters? Oh, that'd be amazing.
Their caddy, just like, whoops. Yeah.
I didn't realize it was coming.

Speaker 1 I was worried about tax day. I'm thinking about getting some recreational fusion surgery.
Yeah. Because it seems to work.
It's not a bad idea. Just fuse that

Speaker 1 spine together. Yeah, any part of my body.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe just get a metal rod somewhere. Ooh, fuse my two testicles together.
Because why do you have two? They're on each side. They get in the way.
Just a nice axle that just connects them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think that'd be nice. I think that plays.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Let's see. We also, so we had Rick Riley back.
We had Phil hitting bombs. Phil is just, I want Phil now to win another Masters.

Speaker 1 I don't think he will, which I guess I'm doing exactly what I just did with Tiger. We don't learn.
No chance will he compete again, but Phil being cocky and like, I'm going to hit bombs.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do this. I feel like Ricky should be our next guy.
Ricky. Ricky, I like Ricky Fowler.
Ricky is a sneaky, great guest on this show. Ricky is the next guy who hasn't won one.

Speaker 1 I'll be rooting for Ricky in every major from here on out.

Speaker 1 I think I agree with you, you, Hank. I like Ricky Fowler.
Tiger finally wins a major from behind,

Speaker 1 which he'd never done.

Speaker 1 Again, that's one of those things that the narrative had been out there for so long. I'm going to choose to ignore that it happened this time.
Yeah, that's true. We're going to keep going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the number one. Tiger came out

Speaker 1 on Sundays. That's my favorite golf.
Tiger had never gone to a Final Four.

Speaker 1 Let's see what else. Well, we have a lot more with Scott Van Pelton.
He actually gives us some real golf analysis.

Speaker 1 Should we talk quickly about the NBA playoffs that have begun as the number one Orlando Magic podcast on the internet.

Speaker 1 We've decided that just from our four seconds of talking about the magic on Friday, I would say that we got the magic their win. Do you believe in magic? Yes, we do.
We do. We absolutely do.

Speaker 1 Quick pop quiz. Can you name four players on the magic? Yeah.
Because I can't. DJ Augustine.
Aaron Gordon. Yep.

Speaker 1 Aaron Gordon was my one. DJ Augustine.
I just say that again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that works. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's four names. Four names that we just said.
Alfred Payton, I think, is on there.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, he's got great hair.

Speaker 1 That's definitely his name's definitely not. Do they still have pinstripes? They do.
They do have those jerseys. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think. Oh, Michael Carter Williams.
NCW is NCW's. He was getting heated.
He almost fought a ref. Fuck yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 NCW is the worst process. Did you see that? He charged.
He was running at a ref to contest a call, and the ref, like, flinched like he was about to get hit.

Speaker 1 He should have been allowed to hit him twice then. He's a classic guy.

Speaker 1 You just look at him, you're like, that guy should be awesome. And then you watch him play.
You're like,

Speaker 1 does he know how to play? Rookie of the Year, I think. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 So imagine being a Raptors fan and going all these years and having LeBron own you and then just being like, actually, it's not that hard to do. DJ Augustine can also own you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not a good look for Toronto at all.

Speaker 1 They'll win this series, but it's good to have the Magic get that one. The other big news is, should we be worried about the process? I think we should.
The Sixers looked bad.

Speaker 1 They looked very, very bad.

Speaker 1 The final score was a lot closer than the game really was. It was.

Speaker 1 Jay Butt doesn't look great. Nope.

Speaker 1 Joelle Embiid, he went, what, like,

Speaker 1 he's got 15 or something like that? Yeah, he's got knee problems. Yeah, and they don't have a guard that can shoot.
J-Butt did score 36. He was the only one.

Speaker 1 But Ben Simmons is like, I don't even know.

Speaker 1 The Sixers are. The process has now gotten to a point where it's like all these pieces that should work together, and it just doesn't feel like they do.

Speaker 1 I think Jay-Butt came in and screwed up the whole chemistry. That's what I think.
Simmons can't shoot.

Speaker 1 It's so much easier to defend in the playoffs. In the playoffs, when you can actually game plan and be like, hey, let's just not, let's just let that guy shoot.
But he's big. He is.
He's tall.

Speaker 1 He's a very tall point guard. Yeah, so don't forget about that part.
We called the Spurs Nuggets because the Spurs just never die.

Speaker 1 So they're not that. Like, the Nuggets are a better team, but they're young, and this is their first time in the playoffs in a while.

Speaker 1 And the Spurs are just, like, the funniest thing about the Spurs is they're going to do this, and they don't have any of the Spurs anymore. Yeah.
Besides the Marcus Aldrich, they don't have Manu.

Speaker 1 They don't have Tony Parker.

Speaker 1 They don't have Tim Duncan. Like, they don't don't have Danny Green.
They don't have any of the guys. They don't even have Quiet.

Speaker 1 They don't have any of these Spursies guys, but they're just pop. It's Pop.
It's Pop in the Jerseys. Working his match war.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out to TJ McCollum. Finally avenged that tweet.

Speaker 1 Sorry, CJ McCollum. Has he hay? Has he hay? CJ McCollum finally avenged that tweet.
What I'm trying

Speaker 1 was I'm trying Denise. Yes.
When somebody told him, some woman tweeted at him and said,

Speaker 1 first win a playoff game. And then he tweeted that he was trying.
I'm trying. And he finally got it.

Speaker 1 It is good that the Blazers won a playoff game after last year in the pelicans debacle uh yiannis is an absolute uh monster he's a problem he's a huge problem he's the best player in the nba at this point and they just demolished the pistons although blake griffin so the so the bucks won by like 30 uh 35.

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin easily scores 36 in that game. So I'm not even counting that as a win for the Bucs.
Agreed. Agreed.
Sorry. Blake Griffin would have won.
And then your man, Kyrie, played pretty well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've actually come back off my take on Friday.

Speaker 1 Wait, which one? The Masters take? No, that I was worried. No, that was...
I don't even know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 That the Celtics were in trouble without Marcus Smart. I remembered as I was watching the game that they had so many guards that, you know, there was playing time problems.

Speaker 1 And now that they can all focus, get all the playing time they need, they're going to come together even more. PFT, how many points?

Speaker 1 Pacers scored in the third quarter. I'm going to guess,

Speaker 1 because it was low, I'm going to guess 18. Eight.
Eight. Fuck.
They scored eight points in the third quarter. Not great.
29 in the entire second half. That's not good.

Speaker 1 That's the Brad Stevens bowl right there. That's not good.
Also, don't thank me for my service, but my TV was only playing Spanish, so I had to watch the whole game.

Speaker 1 Well, you can change that. I couldn't.

Speaker 1 Wait, you just hit the closed capacity.

Speaker 1 How much time did you put into trying to get English before you gave up?

Speaker 1 Halfway through the first quarter? Like 20 minutes? Cinco Minuto. Because every time I would change, like, all the other channels were fine.
Only TNT.

Speaker 1 And then when it would go to the studio, like, halftime, charles and all of them were in english it was it was

Speaker 1 i just gave up i was like whatever uh

Speaker 1 brad stevens intra enmeaniento para es trabajo

Speaker 1 negativo negativo um

Speaker 1 paro est trabajo

Speaker 1 yeah de intra meniento

Speaker 1 see

Speaker 1 or no okay

Speaker 1 uh all-time sports weekend so we had the nba playoffs we had tiger and then we had the nhl playoffs going on the penguins are dead dead

Speaker 1 It's time to ask the question. Yeah.
Did the Washington Capitals kill the Eastern Conference? It's fake.

Speaker 1 Not just the Penguins, who, by the way, they haven't won a game in the playoffs since the Caps beat them. True.
Nor have the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Speaker 1 Down 3-0, which really hurts if you go with the strategy the Lightning can't get swept, so I'm going to bet on them every game.

Speaker 1 Turns out that's not working out for me right now as we currently sit here.

Speaker 1 The best part about

Speaker 1 the Islanders, though. The Islanders are kicking the shit out of the Penguins.
The fact that they have to go play in Brooklyn next series sucks. And I think I'd be against the Capitals, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it would be. Well, if the Capitals win their series, which it looks like we're going to, yeah.
Incredible. Do you have one of the best home ice advantages?

Speaker 1 And then you're like, no, let's go to fucking Williams. I want to go to Nassau.
That's the name of the arena, right? NASA. The NASA arena.
The College. The Colli.
I want to go to the barn.

Speaker 1 The old barn.

Speaker 1 I want to go to the old barn and set up in the parking lot there before the first game of that series and just see if there's anybody that accidentally drives to the barn instead of going into Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 A couple people. There will be one.
So I do give credit to the Penguins and to the Lightning. It's a smart move to not want to get embarrassed by the Capitals again.
True.

Speaker 1 So just getting the fuck out of the playoffs as early as possible. It's crazy because what about the teams they haven't beat? What do you mean? Like the Bruins.
Yeah, so they don't know.

Speaker 1 They don't know any better. Yeah, they just, it will happen.
It's called Once Bitten, Twice Shy. And the Bruins haven't been bounced from the playoffs by the Capitals in a while, so they don't know.

Speaker 1 They don't know what they don't know. They don't know what they don't know.
That's actually put it on a quote board. They don't know what they don't know.

Speaker 1 All right. You want to do who's back? Let's do who's back.
Hank, why don't you start? My who's back. I did have Phil, he had probably one of the best

Speaker 1 pre-game social videos. Like a lot of times, you know, like teams will make their players do it when they're in the locker room and no one like that.
They're not enthusiastic.

Speaker 1 It doesn't come off enthusiastic. Phil did a video driving up to Augusta National, like a pregame video about how he's going to hit bombs.
His club speed was faster than ever. He did like a 0.6.

Speaker 1 I didn't understand the joke.

Speaker 1 So Cooch, Cooch,

Speaker 1 he won a tournament, what was it, like a month ago, and he was using like a fill-in replacement caddy.

Speaker 1 And I guess the custom is if you win, it's normal to tip your caddy 10% of what it is that you win in that purse.

Speaker 1 But since it was a replacement guy, they worked out a contract ahead of time saying he would get like $1,000.

Speaker 1 And then Cooch was not going to be shamed into paying his caddy that extra tip. Right.
So that was just an electric video all around. Need more of those going forward.

Speaker 1 Also, Rough and Rowdy is big time back. Yes.
So we're going, it's Friday, this Friday in West Virginia. Friday.
Place that I fought, like Hillbilly.

Speaker 1 In a backwoods armory. But Rough and Rowdy, like the Instagram account, just posted a promo clip.
And John Bond Jones, he said, John Bond, is that John Bond Jones? That's the drummer for Led Zeppelin.

Speaker 1 John Bones Jones, whatever. Okay, go.
He said, I swear, I love his interviews. UFC could learn a thing or two from you guys.
Yes. That was pretty crazy.
I like it.

Speaker 1 It's a smart play by him because we might be the only fighting league that sanctions him in a couple years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say, if there's anybody that knows something about promoting a fight, it's the guy that always gets his name in the news before a fight because he can't fight in it.

Speaker 1 And what was even crazier is that Barstow posted a link to the blog, and Tom Brady liked the link to the black. Oh, wow, wow, it's cool.
It's a hero. He doesn't ran out of the way.
He's colliding.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All at the place you fought.
Yeah. That's crazy.
That's true. You started this.
It's basically a tribute to you. Yeah, John Jones is a hero.
He's saying he's a handsome Hank fan.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Tom Brady, yeah. Those are my who's backs.
And Tom Brady loves who's back. That's great.
That was actually very good. My first who's back of the week, you guys can probably guess.
It's

Speaker 1 South Africa rugby. Okay.
South Africa won. Nice.
They won the cup. But bonus who's back of the week?

Speaker 1 Bonus who's back of the week is USA rugby.

Speaker 1 Bonus who's back of the week is USA rugby because, again, missing two of our best players, we finished in fourth place. Oh.
And we're still in first place

Speaker 1 in the entire world. So

Speaker 1 how much fourth places can we get to win this?

Speaker 1 This is probably the last one that we're going to be. So cherish it, boys.
Because we're three points up on Fiji. This is the last fourth place that will keep us in first place.

Speaker 1 That's right, but that's fine because we have another month until the London center, the next tournament.

Speaker 1 We're going to get healthy. And then, if we compete well in London, and there's only two left, so we could win the whole damn thing.
We actually could. Are you going to go to London?

Speaker 1 It's probably too close. I don't know.
Do they have MDMA? It's probably not a long enough trip. Do they have ecstasy in London?

Speaker 1 So, yeah, we're back in a big way. Also, since we're still in first place, we've qualified for the Olympics already.
Great. So that's the best thing.
Oh, there's Olympic rugby, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you better believe that. When's the next Olympics? I don't know.
Probably never.

Speaker 1 Because of climate change, as we addressed earlier. They should do the Olympics every year.
What the fuck? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good take. Just do it in Vegas.
Yeah. Because no city wants it.
Just do it in Vegas every year. Yeah.
My other who's back of the week is gum. Yes.
So Tiger was chomping.

Speaker 1 He was chomping at that gum. I don't know.
I think it was dentine ice. Yep.
I could kind of tell from the he was giving it. So I've got some gum here.
It's supposed to make you focus more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, the frontal cortex of your brain. Maybe

Speaker 1 Tiger was on MDMA. Yeah.
Because I know that I needed some of this last weekend. You got one for me? Oh, it was

Speaker 1 in the stands in Hong Kong.

Speaker 1 We got one piece left. What about Hank? All right, so let's see how much better this podcast gets while we chew gum.

Speaker 1 Hank, ask us a math question:

Speaker 1 69.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 1 So, Hank, do you have a serious math question? Do you think people enjoy this gum chewing? I think so. I mean, did you hear the interview that we had with who is it, Christian Leitner?

Speaker 1 Is he chewing the gum? Yeah, he was. Yeah.
He was.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Now he's out of left field.
I like that. Hank's I've been chewing gum, and he's it's it's you're getting a contact gum high to your frontal cortex.
Yeah, yeah. Is it cortex?

Speaker 1 Yeah, your cerebral cortex. Your frontal lobe.
Frontal lobe. That's the thing you take out when you want to get dumber.
That's your lobotomy when you want to get real stupid.

Speaker 1 How about that?

Speaker 1 How about people back in the day being like hey you know how we fix mental illness take some of their brain out yeah this guy's sad all the time let's just cut his brain off his brain off that will fix it that's pretty cool then we'll put him in a fucking room with white walls for the rest of his life they fill your brain with leeches yeah this will fix it oh man you know jerry down the block yeah he was always sad so we just cut half his brain off we cut the part of his brain some of the doctors feel sadness off

Speaker 1 now he can't feel anything but at least he's not sad jerry keeps saying weird weird shit, so we're going to take out the part of his brain that allows him to talk.

Speaker 1 Hey, you idiot doctors, little did you know, all you need to do is give him Jerry a piece of gum.

Speaker 1 I actually feel smarter right now. I do too.
I'm locked in. But it's really hard to chew one half of a piece of orbits.
Yeah, even though I'm losing it in here. You know what it is, though?

Speaker 1 I can't find it in my mouth. I think it takes your brain off something else, and it just like it doesn't allow you to get nervous.
You can just chew a little bit while you're talking.

Speaker 1 All right, there you go. It takes your brain off something else, and it makes you focus a little bit of your physicality on the gum.
So it's like, what was it, in Tin Cup? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where he was trying to cure the yips, and he made him turn his hat backwards.

Speaker 1 It's like if you're doing something different,

Speaker 1 then that's one lesson. Focus on two things, like rubbing your belly and

Speaker 1 patting your head. Right.
It's tough to do. So you can't, if you're Sergio Garcia, I would just load up with just like a mouthful of double bubble.
Yeah. Maybe, yeah.

Speaker 1 Get outside your own head a little bit. Ooh, go to the little watermelon bubblicious, the note.

Speaker 1 What about the gushing gum? Is that too much for a course? Yeah, except those are like, you ever notice like the juicy fruits and stuff? You get like maybe three seconds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's like, all right, there goes the taste. Tiger's sugar.
Tiger's zebra gum? Using gushers for a while. Rebel zebra gum? That shit was fun.
It was just fun to. Oh, no, it's not zebra gum.

Speaker 1 What is that? So basically, it's fruit stripe gum. Fruit stripe.
But it's zebra gum gum gum gum gum gum.

Speaker 1 Zebra gum. It's a yummy fruity one.
You sound like someone doesn't chew a lot of gum.

Speaker 1 Don't call it zebra gum. I'm a big gum chewer.
I call it by its actual nomenclature. Out of respect for the brand.
All right, that was our gum segment. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, My Who's back. I got two.
The first is Suck and Titties. Suck and Titties is officially back because Jay Cutler saved a life.

Speaker 1 So the story is that Kristen Cavalier had clogged milk ducks, and Jay, my quarterback, had to suck on them harder than he's ever sucked. That's a direct quote.
He's sucked in some games.

Speaker 1 Listen, people were making that joke. That's too, be smarter.
Be smarter. Just because he sucked on titties doesn't mean he sucked in football.
But yeah, he's saved a life.

Speaker 1 Have you ever saved a life by sucking on some titties? I'll never know. I probably have.
You should probably try. Just start sucking on every titty.
Or it's Mitch now, Jay.

Speaker 1 Mitch kisses him. Oh, true, true.
Kisses titties. Very, very, very different.
Yeah, he just gives him a soft.

Speaker 1 Can you have a clogged milk duck

Speaker 1 if you're not pregnant?

Speaker 1 I probably have clogged milk ducks right now. Yeah, guys, would you like to suck on my titties? I probably got four of them.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 All right, my other who's back is actually, I'm going to do two more. Ty Lou.
Ty Lou is back. We should mention it because he is now a front runner to get run over by LeBron again.
That is.

Speaker 1 The Lakers are so funny. Genius move to not get rid of Rob Polinka.
So when this fucks up, they can be like, oh, this was Rob Plinka's fault. Now we're starting off.

Speaker 1 Yes. Luke Walton already has a new job with Sacramento Kings, so shout out to Luke Walton.
And then my other who's back, similar

Speaker 1 segue from the Lakers. Magic Johnson's tweets.
So if you remember, he quit, and part of the reason why he quit was he wanted to tweet. Well, guess what, guys? We got a tweet.
Here it goes.

Speaker 1 I've had a great Saturday watching the NBA playoff games. The Nets shocked the Sixers, and the Magic did the same to the Raptors.
Golden State played like champs today.

Speaker 1 There you go. Worth it.
That was

Speaker 1 absolutely worth it. Wait, I got one more.

Speaker 1 A big, big congratulations to Tiger Woods for winning the Masters. The Roar of Tiger is back.
Magic is back. We are big Magic fans.
Oh, my God. It's so good that he's back.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I was missing these kind of things. He is the king of saying nothing while saying everything.
Just stating exactly what's going on. Literally, he is basically the bottom line scroll.

Speaker 1 I want to see him live tweeting Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 This dragon is big.

Speaker 1 Ooh, this dragon sure seems angry. Wait, are they brother and sister?

Speaker 1 Why do brothers and sisters have sex? That seems unusual. Daenerys has very nice hair.
It's bright. Yep.

Speaker 1 All right. I don't think Daenerys' hair is natural.
Huh. Makes you think.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get to our interview with Scott Van Pelt.
Been a long time. Perfect guest to come on after the Masters.
He was there. He knows Tiger.
He's followed him.

Speaker 1 He's covered him his entire career.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Scott Van Pelt.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very, very good friend.

Speaker 1 You can watch him every single night on SportsCenter.

Speaker 1 He is up for an Emmy, but most importantly, his claim to fame is that he gets to work with Stanford Steve every single day.

Speaker 1 It is Scott Van Pelt live from Augusta after Tiger Woods wins his fifth green jacket. Scott, just start with that.
Just give us like a...

Speaker 1 Holy shit, I can't believe this happened.

Speaker 3 That's what it was, man. Like,

Speaker 3 I I mean, I don't know. That's it.

Speaker 3 It was, holy shit, I can't believe it happened. That's what it was, for sure.
I mean,

Speaker 1 look,

Speaker 3 I've started coming here in 97 when he was a kid and he won. And obviously, you know, a lot's happened.

Speaker 3 But, you know, 43, bald spot, fused back. The kids waiting for him, the whole bit.
And the fact that, and I don't know how super golfy we want to be, but I will say, like, it's worth saying this.

Speaker 3 There's a whole wave of guys that he created, right the guys that look like dustin johnson and brooks kepke that that are that could be athletes in any sport tony final and they all kind of wanted to be him and he beat all of them like the top eight of the top 15 in the world finished in the top 10 so all the best were playing their best and when it's over he wins and i've never seen a scene here at Augusta like what that was after he won ever it's always loud people are always excited that was was completely different.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 yeah,

Speaker 3 I don't know. I wish I could give you a more sort of succinct answer.
I wish I could give you a better answer. But it was what you said at the start.
It was that. And it was that kind of all day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the crowd chanting Tiger after he won. I don't think I've ever seen an agnostic crowd get that rowdy before.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 look, there's a certain decorum here.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 3 people call it golf church, and I'll buy that in the sense that when people come here, whether you're a believer or not, you act a certain way if you're in church. Well, people here largely keep it

Speaker 3 loud but respectful. There are roars, but not like that.
Not just like a game, not like people chanting a dude's name, and it didn't stop.

Speaker 3 And it was just the look on his face and his kid, Charlie, his son, with that grin and his hat on backwards, like that was the cool. That's what he did this for.

Speaker 3 Like, so his kids could see him be that guy. And so the whole of it man all of it in in in totality was just

Speaker 3 insane i it was it's the coolest thing i've seen here and i've been lucky enough to be here for a lot of years so it's it's it's that so you know tiger you know him going way back actually you called him he was a recording guest

Speaker 1 been on the show so credit

Speaker 1 my number i have his number as you know and you guys actually you guys really you guys broke the news on our first first ever visit that he'd be back in the future that's right yeah we fixed him too i'm gonna take credit for that um is this

Speaker 1 Is this the happiest you've ever seen him?

Speaker 3 No question.

Speaker 3 No question. And again, it's framed

Speaker 3 through the eyes of his children. It's that.
And

Speaker 3 he's won a lot, and he won a lot, and it got to the point where it was just sort of expected. And it was, people enjoyed it, right?

Speaker 3 But it got to the point where it was just sort of like you shrug and go, all right, cool, there's another one, right? Well, all right, we saw this last time. Well, it's been a long time.

Speaker 3 And the reaction from him, like that waiting for his, his son and then his mom and then hugging Sam and then his girlfriend as well, like just them, and then his agent, who I've known Mark Steinberg forever.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 it's weird when you know people in a different way and you've known them for as long as I've known them. I just, you see what those hugs, man, they're lingering longer.
So absolutely.

Speaker 3 It was absolutely... beyond a shadow of a doubt the happiest I've ever seen.
I'm like that that that moment on 18 that just didn't end was just joy, absolute joy.

Speaker 3 And the thing is, look, I know there are people out there that aren't into it, but I don't know who they are.

Speaker 3 They're a minority. Overwhelmingly, people just wanted to see this to feel something.

Speaker 3 And he makes people feel something different than any other person playing golf makes people feel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 So I wanted to know, because you know Tiger so well and you've watched his whole entire career, at what point did you see like old Tiger kind of flash up in Augusta on Sunday?

Speaker 1 Because I started to notice it like right around the turn when it was, it wasn't even his shots, it was like this kind of this walk he does and this almost like intimidating, I take up your space, but I'm not, he's not pushing anyone, he's not getting anyone's face, but it's like Francesco Molinari knows that Tiger is standing next to him and like you can feel it.

Speaker 1 And that was like old tiger.

Speaker 3 Agreed. It was like this Zen thing, like just

Speaker 3 slowing your walk down.

Speaker 3 Just everything is purposeful. And he made that insane two-putt on nine

Speaker 3 to head to the second nine, not the back nine, the second nine here at Augusta with a, you know, within a shot of Molinari. And now he needs some help.

Speaker 3 He needs Molinari to make a mistake, and Molinari makes two huge ones. He makes, you know, double on 12 and double on 15.
But, I mean, it's Tiger just almost becoming that guy again, right?

Speaker 3 It's almost like the guy who was sort of limping starts walking, and then he kind of starts running. And then now it's like, all right, guess what?

Speaker 3 i'm gonna i'm gonna put this cape on and i'm getting ready to fly again and then he did and i completely agree that there was there was a definite feeling in

Speaker 3 uh or i guess i should just just just a just his posture like the confidence of how he carried himself and look he's played here 86 competitive rounds so he has the experience that that the guys he was going up against just don't and he's won here four times so like at some point sunday all of the scars on his body and all the time that's passed, like, that's not what counts.

Speaker 3 What counts is, and he used this term earlier this week, like mental Rolodex. Like, he's got it, and you don't, and he's going to call on it.
And he pulled off the shots, and, you know,

Speaker 3 he was surrounded by like Kepka and Johnson and all these guys, and they just, you know, he was one better than all of them in the end of it.

Speaker 1 Were those guys rooting for him? I was wondering that, because there was that moment when he came off after he won, and everyone was kind of hugging him.

Speaker 1 And those are his competitors, and those are the guys guys that he's going up against.

Speaker 1 Did you get the sense that the majority of the field was rooting for Tiger to have this moment, even though it takes money and green jackets out of their pocket?

Speaker 3 I think so. I mean, I've never put it this way.

Speaker 3 I've never seen guys waiting eight or nine deep. I mean, I saw Zach Johnson.
I saw

Speaker 3 Justin Thomas.

Speaker 1 Bubba,

Speaker 3 Bernard Longer's there. There's more.

Speaker 3 Ricky Fowler was in that group. Brooks Kepka, they kind of flipped the script because Tiger waited for Brooks at the PGA, and he lost by one.
This time, it's Brooks that comes to find him.

Speaker 3 And even Molinari in the interview is like, hey, it's great to see Tiger playing well again. And I'm thinking, well,

Speaker 3 yeah, cool, except if you didn't hit in the water twice, it's your jacket.

Speaker 1 That's a great spin zone by him.

Speaker 3 He's the one guy that's going to walk away from this the most gutted because if he doesn't make a couple mistakes, then maybe it's him.

Speaker 1 I disagree. I think he actually is the luckiest guy in the world because he had a kind of an all-time choke job there, but no one will remember it because it's Tiger.

Speaker 3 Well, see, that's that big-time J kind of stuff right there.

Speaker 3 I hadn't even considered that.

Speaker 3 I hadn't even gone to that sort of part of the storyline, and that actually makes a ton of sense because no one's going to be saying, hey, nice job with the water balls.

Speaker 3 They're just going to say thanks. We got to see Tiger win.

Speaker 3 But you're not going to see people waiting like that that are that, like,

Speaker 3 their faces, they're like little kids.

Speaker 3 And to a degree, like that this was the guy right like these are the these guys are are the the wave of golfers that tiger gave birth to because they're the ones that watched him be tiger back in the day and now they're his contemporaries which um is obviously could only be in this sport i agree with big cat because you don't remember that justin leonard won that british open you remember that vandeveld took his shoes off and went in the water right

Speaker 3 it was tiger that won that right and you definitely don't remember that that justin leonard won it because he didn't Exactly.

Speaker 1 That's trick question. You passed.
You actually are good at this, Scott. Good job.
Who won that one?

Speaker 3 That was a different guy.

Speaker 1 Okay, see, there you go. I don't know who won it because it wasn't Tiger.

Speaker 1 How much credit are we giving to the gum chewing?

Speaker 3 Ooh, good question. There's a lot of talk about the gum.
A lot of talk about the gum. Like,

Speaker 3 all of a sudden, Phil and Tiger show up, and there's the gum. And, like, what kind of gum are we, what are we doing with the gum?

Speaker 1 Got to know what kind of gum that was. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't know. There's people are curious about the gum.
Like, I mean, I don't think it was like, I don't think it was bazooka or a double bubble. Like, I didn't see it bubble blowing.

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 1 A lot of people talked about.

Speaker 3 Phil said something about cerebral cortex or something. Yep.

Speaker 3 I don't know what, I don't buy that.

Speaker 3 But there's a lot of talk about gum and what we were doing with the gum.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. We're going to contribute to that narrative.
Yeah, we're going to start podcasting by chewing gum. Absolutely.
It's great for radio. Yes, exactly.
Like a serious golf question here.

Speaker 1 What is the difference between Tiger now and Tiger 10, 12 years ago in terms of his actual game?

Speaker 3 That's interesting. Well, he can't overpower a golf course.
Like, he was the guy that hit it eight miles before,

Speaker 3 and everybody else was just like, wow, look how far he hits it. Now, like, today he said about Kepka, well, he's stronger than me.
He hits it further than me.

Speaker 3 He talked about Tony Final, and he's like, my God, that guy hits the ball a long way. He's not the longest dude out here.
He doesn't overpower the golf course.

Speaker 3 But now, in the way a pitcher can become a guy that that can get you out different ways, like he's still plenty powerful. He still hits it long enough.

Speaker 3 But now he's the guy that leans on

Speaker 3 his experience, I guess, and

Speaker 3 the wealth of his knowledge. And the fact that, like, he's, again, he's still,

Speaker 3 he'll always be one of the best players in the world if he's healthy because that's just what his profile is, right? But he isn't, he's not doing it simply by overpowering.

Speaker 3 Like, in 97, like, you know, he hit it over every bunker, and they changed the course largely because he was the wave of guys that could make the course obsolete. So

Speaker 3 now it's a little less power, and it's a little more figuring it out. But, you know, as I say, he's not like he's the shortest guy up the tee here.

Speaker 3 It's just,

Speaker 3 to me, the experience is what really showed itself today

Speaker 3 more than anything else.

Speaker 1 I wanted to go back to Francesco Malinari one last time.

Speaker 1 I actually, it was incredible watching him in this last round because after every single shot, like the ball would basically just barely been hit and the crowd would just go, let's go, Tiger, and just scream about Tiger.

Speaker 1 I've never seen that at Augusta, like you said earlier, like there's always decorum, but that felt very different.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, I mean, back in the day, I mean, Sebi Baasteros hit a ball in the water, and I mean, he was well-regarded here.

Speaker 3 He was a master's champ, but when he hit it in the water and it benefited Jack, like people are cheering, you know, because Jack, same type of deal. People act different now.

Speaker 3 There's no other player and that you hear that and you said it exactly right because that's the that's the cheer it's let's go tunnel right how many times have you heard that yeah fight a dollar for let's go tiger yeah

Speaker 3 if you had a dollar for every one of those we you know you you'd have a stack you'd have a stack of cash and it never stops and it's after every swing and it's interesting man like i mean he it is it the redemptive story is that what it is do we love that the most do we do we love the guy that was great and then it falls apart and now we get to cheer for him again Like, is it that?

Speaker 3 I mean, it's all those things, I guess. But, I mean, people point to the things that went wrong.
And I did an interview with a guy. It was a news interview.

Speaker 3 He was like, you know, all these scandals and this and that. And how do you think people will forgive him? Like, did you see the end?

Speaker 1 Were you watching? Right.

Speaker 3 Forgive him. Forgive him.
I mean, every person here was rooting for him.

Speaker 3 At Eastlake, they would have picked him up on their shoulders and carried him to the green if they were allowed to. Yeah,

Speaker 3 there's nothing, no other person evokes that level of emotional connection in this sport. And, like, Molinari is a great player, but I mean, he's pretty blank, right?

Speaker 1 I mean, he's pretty, there's not a lot there in terms of emotion. No gravy.
He's got the unibrow, the sword of unibrow going. That gives him a little distinct.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to make grooming is not, you know, I'm in no position to make fun of anybody in terms of anything. So I'm going to rip the guy for that.

Speaker 3 But I mean, look, I don't know that if it were, it would have been interesting had it been, I don't know, Kepka. Or speech.

Speaker 3 Would they have been screaming Tiger if it were Kepka?

Speaker 3 Probably. Like, probably.
Like,

Speaker 3 they were all cheering for Tiger at the PGA last year. And, you know,

Speaker 3 and Kepka's an American guy that's certainly

Speaker 3 likable for all the reasons we like our athletes. Big, good-looking guy.
Hits it a mile. I mean, people like him, too.
But look,

Speaker 3 no one was going to touch touch Tiger in terms of being the crowd favorite today.

Speaker 1 Nobody, yeah, there was one point where I think Molinera hit it into the bunker. He hit it off the tee into the bunker, and the crowd cheered like at the top of their lungs.

Speaker 1 They were so excited for it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you mentioned the shrug emoji.

Speaker 3 I don't like it's not you, it's just the other guy. It's not rooting against you, we're just rooting for him.

Speaker 1 We're rooting for him so hard that it seems like we're rooting against him.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he looked scared. I noticed it after like the fourth or fifth hole.
He could could just sense Tiger next.

Speaker 1 And that was the cool part, Tiger Sunday being back, where it's like that was what Tiger was in his heyday, where it was you could see the fear.

Speaker 1 And I'm not trying to bash on the guys he was playing with, but you could see the fear in his opponents, and having that come back just even a little bit, and maybe that's just me projecting because I want it to be back.

Speaker 1 But I feel like it was there, and it's like, oh, man, this is the guy.

Speaker 1 To go back to your point, Scott, I think that a big part of why everybody was rooting for Tiger was the nostalgia factor because it takes me back to you know, when I was 12 years old watching him win that first Masters, to you know, when I was in my late teens, early 20s, watching him dominate.

Speaker 1 Like, it's very cool to see him in just anywhere around the discussion of winning a tournament on any Sunday. It's awesome.

Speaker 1 But at Augusta, it's like a little something special that takes me right back to where I was back then. And it's very cool to see.

Speaker 1 The other thing that I think people are rooting for is that he's kind of come out of his shell a lot in the last few years since he's been humbled. So this is like almost a new tiger that is

Speaker 1 that's like very likable.

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 the thing I talked to him about after

Speaker 3 the PGA was in St. Louis at Bellreave.
There was that bridge that went over

Speaker 3 the people on 18, and there were like 20,000 people there. And when he walked across, he did something that he typically doesn't do.
He just stopped.

Speaker 3 It doesn't sound like much, but trust me, it's different. He stopped, and he just waved to one side of the bridge, and he waved to the other side and said, thank you.

Speaker 3 And it was like for so many years, fellas, like he kept his eyes to the ground and he wouldn't let people in.

Speaker 3 And now he's way more just accepting of and thankful for this level of support and love he's got. And he's participating in it.
And so I agree that it's different. And I agree that it's nostalgia.

Speaker 3 And I think for people like you and a younger audience who grew up on him, this is their Jack in 86 moment where the guy that's in his 40s wins again and people are moved in that way.

Speaker 3 And again, he's the only one that can do that because he connects you to that time. And that's, again,

Speaker 3 when I was asked earlier this week by someone, why is he the guy that does that? I said, because not many athletes make us feel.

Speaker 3 Like, we like to watch, and we like to enjoy sports because sports are fun, or at least they're supposed to be. But not a lot of people make you feel.

Speaker 3 And a guy that takes you to a different time in your life makes you feel things, and then you can look at it differently. And so, like, look, I'm not going to lie to you,

Speaker 3 watching him hug his kids today

Speaker 3 as a guy who lost his dad who now has kids and understanding the role they play in your life and being able to share your life with them. And in his case, this success, I mean, that to me is moving.

Speaker 3 And so I like to feel. And that made a lot of people, I think, feel something that, again, is unique to him.
I don't know who else could do that.

Speaker 1 He also, I mean, the son thing, watching his son walk up with that smile behind him was just like all-time moment, all-time moment. The other thing Tiger does is he transcends takes.

Speaker 1 I was very wrong about Tiger. I said he'd never win another championship.
You know, he'd never win another major. He'd never win another master.
Masters.

Speaker 3 Courtney got ahead of it. I give him credit.

Speaker 3 He was very proactive getting out ahead of it. Wanted to be the first to say he was wrong.

Speaker 1 Well, he left. He left the live stream, so he kind of cowered.
Did he? Like, literally, as he's walking up 18th, he did a fake phone call and walked out of the live stream and just left. But

Speaker 1 I was wrong about Tiger. And that's not saying I was ever rooting against him.
I just was being honest. I did not think he'd be back in this spot.

Speaker 1 And then I'm sitting there on Sunday, and you know how we are like now. If your team can't win, you want your take to be right.
And I wanted my take to be wrong. I've been getting dragged online.

Speaker 1 I don't care because it was that cool to watch him be back. So he transcends takes, which is very hard to do.

Speaker 1 Very hard to do.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 A lot of people said he was done, but I don't know anybody that wants. I shouldn't say I don't know anybody because there's people that

Speaker 1 are

Speaker 3 and that's fine. You don't have to to root for him.

Speaker 3 But I don't know who else there is in sports, again,

Speaker 3 that can connect people to

Speaker 3 this level of investment.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 so people like you that were saying he was done and wouldn't win again. Well, you weren't saying that because you wanted him to be done.

Speaker 3 I think you were just, it was your eyes were telling you and your brain was telling you that a guy with a fused back. at this stage of the game probably won't.
And

Speaker 3 for the longest time, I thought he'd catch Jack and thought he'd pass pass him. And then in years past, as I've been asked, you know, do you think he'll win another major?

Speaker 3 For a longest time, I said, yeah, I did. And then in the last year or so, as he played better, I thought, well, maybe he will.

Speaker 3 But I mean, if you asked me to put my money on one or the other, I don't know that I'd have put money on yes, you know,

Speaker 3 or that it would happen here, just because here, so many other guys like we saw today are going to have chances every year because they're able to play it so well.

Speaker 3 But, I mean, aren't you happy you're wrong?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 you know who was very wrong? Your boy, Stanford Steve. He bet the, I, we were sitting in Minnesota at the Final Four Eating Wings, and he showed me the bet, and it was the all-time

Speaker 1 party pooper bet. It was Tiger will not win a major this year.

Speaker 1 I was like, why would you do that? He's like, I don't care if I lose this. I just think it, and I don't care if I lose it.
He actually was very honest.

Speaker 1 He's like, I would happily lose this bet to watch him win a major. So he was open about it.
He was emotionally hedging. But I was like, why would you do that? What was the payout on that?

Speaker 1 It wasn't very good.

Speaker 1 But but yeah, so there's one person.

Speaker 3 Well, we'll have to heckle him, but you know, like you guys know him. He's the ultimate.

Speaker 3 He loves moments.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, he loves bowling. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Where great things happen. He loves bowling.
Yeah. He loves wings.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 It sounds like all it. Did you beat him in bowling?

Speaker 3 He didn't bowl.

Speaker 1 He's like the kind of guy that was like a he didn't bowl. What do you mean he didn't bowl? He just watched.
Was he like, they don't have shoes in my size?

Speaker 1 He seems like a guy who'd be afraid of the shoes. He was, I don't know.

Speaker 1 He didn't want to get into bowling.

Speaker 1 Who the hell doesn't bowl? Listen, when Steve says he doesn't want to do something,

Speaker 1 he was a great,

Speaker 1 you know who he was? He was the glue guy that was sitting behind everyone that was talking up the party. So it was like he would talk to everyone after they finished

Speaker 1 their frame. So you need that.
You need that.

Speaker 3 All right, yeah, that's fair. And also, he's a big enough guy that if he tells you he's not doing it,

Speaker 3 you're not going to make Stanford Steve slap on clown shoes and start

Speaker 3 chucking a bowling ball.

Speaker 1 I also say this about bowling. It's one of those sports where if you're not good at it, you should just not do it because there's no upside.
There's absolutely no upside to bowling.

Speaker 1 It's very bad about it.

Speaker 3 How sore were you the day after?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I woke up at 4 in the morning and I thought I was never going to be able to walk again.
My back was on fire. On fire.
Probably what Tiger is going to feel like tomorrow. My fuse.

Speaker 3 Isn't it horrifying when you, like, the day after bowling, if you're not a bowler, stuff hurts, and you're like, Jesus, how out of shape am I?

Speaker 1 Like, all I did was bowl a couple games. Yes.
Well, I dominated. But, all right, so I have one last question.

Speaker 1 It's a SeatGeek question. Promo code take.
You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase. The most important question I'm going to ask you: is it time for Tiger to come home?

Speaker 3 I told him when he was on with me,

Speaker 3 when was this now? Would have been two falls ago when he had the book out about the Masters, the 97 Masters, which, by the way, if you want the audio book, I read it. No big deal.

Speaker 3 I told him,

Speaker 3 I get nothing out of it. I just thought it was kind of cool that he asked me to do it.

Speaker 3 When he came on the show, the last thing I said to him is,

Speaker 3 I said, when are you going to come home? And I just kept telling him I was his GPS. And

Speaker 3 he has explained to me through the years that because of the tan line situation, that if he shaved his head, his head

Speaker 3 would look ridiculous because

Speaker 3 it would have just that horrible tan line. Like, if you've seen Stuart Sink's head, he's bald-headed when he takes his hat off.
Like, Tiger said it would just be an absolute disaster.

Speaker 3 But, I mean, like, when we see young Tiger, young 21-year-old tiger in that sweet lettuce, and then, like, he takes it off now, and you're like, wow, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 What is going on with your wig?

Speaker 1 What are you doing? Butler cabin. I kind of like it, though.
I hope he grows it out on the sides.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hope he like leans into how bad the butler cabin. You know what, though? You should let him keep the hat on in the butler cabin.
It was so rude to make him have that hat off.

Speaker 3 Nah, there's the customs here dictate that the hat comes off.

Speaker 3 And I mean, you see, though, like bald guys, and when I was losing it badly, like, if you have a hat on and you're forced to take it off, as soon as he can smack that thing back on his head, it's on the head, right?

Speaker 3 Like, guys, like NFL quarterbacks that, like, the minute they come off

Speaker 1 sitting here, they take their helmet off, boom, hat goes on the head. Yeah, you can say his name.
His name is Blake Blake Portals. He's a good friend of the mother.
His name is Blake Portals.

Speaker 1 Not that Portals. He literally doesn't have, like, you can't actually see the second that his helmet comes off and hat comes on.
Right.

Speaker 1 That's next level. That's next level bald guy behavior.
Yeah, the helmets that went from black to gold? Yeah.

Speaker 3 so of course he's of course it has to happen but i like i don't i think because of the again because of the golf hand line situation that's it's he's gonna hang on with with both hands but i mean we can see like again i mean this is the end game isn't pretty but every guy has to do it in his own time did you see cron butler you probably were too busy but did you see cron butler on saturday night okay this is kind of this is a little bit innate look i mean not name drop he's a he's a peer he's a friend we work together i got a text from him today about tiger and all i thought of is how do i ask him what is happening And I couldn't do it.

Speaker 3 I didn't know what to say. Like, how do I ask?

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 What happened? What is it?

Speaker 1 Carlos Boozer should have taught the world. Like, you can't show up.
And, you know, only Erlacher was able to do it.

Speaker 1 And he did it because it was a promo where he was like, hey, this doctor changed my life. If you're trying to sneak one past people.
He was like a crayon.

Speaker 3 He got edged up and there was like some shoe polish or whatever.

Speaker 1 And the explanation was. But Karan had waves and height.
And what is it? It was a whole thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with with Erlacher, at least it was patently ridiculous because he was known for being just a ball guy. And then he just shows up with a full head out.

Speaker 1 He's like past people.

Speaker 1 If you do it, you got to say, this is what I'm doing. When you try to pull one past the internet, it's like people catch on pretty quick.
Jason Wenton even went back. Yeah.
A heads up.

Speaker 3 Like a literal heads up, right? Like, hey, listen, here's what I'm going to do. Just want y'all to know this is happening.
And boom. And then you show up.

Speaker 3 Like, people are like, oh, wow, it looks good. But you can't just kind of show up and say, hey, hey, so what's going on? We doing the playoffs tonight?

Speaker 1 I hope he grows it on the sides.

Speaker 1 I think it would look amazing if Tiger grew it out on the sides, like really long.

Speaker 3 I'm talking like shoulder lengths, like side, like Krusty the Clown, like really, really puffy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'd be amazing.

Speaker 3 Imagine that. Imagine that.

Speaker 1 I have one last question for you.

Speaker 1 You're probably the most qualified person to answer this in the world. What do you think is Tiger's biggest victory to date? Is it this Masters or when he won 2007's Who's Now tournament on ESTN?

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, Who's Now

Speaker 3 is, I think, one of the, when you talk about the great accomplishments that have ever been in history, in recorded human history, I think there's that.

Speaker 3 There's the invention of the internet,

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 I guess Game of Thrones, which Big Cat evidently was binge-watching. It didn't tell anybody about it.

Speaker 1 Well, hold on.

Speaker 3 I thought we were brothers in arms on that, and apparently not.

Speaker 1 I've told you this story, Scott. I'm pretty sure I've told you this story, but I don't know if I've told PFT this story.

Speaker 1 The first time that I ever met Scott Van Pelt long before I was Big Cat was in 2007 in Madison, Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 I think it was Wando's, and I was that shithead who walked up to Scott and I was like, hey, Scott, who's now sucks?

Speaker 1 And he was like,

Speaker 1 he was like, all right, cool, man. Thanks.

Speaker 1 That was our first ever encounter.

Speaker 3 Was I a jerk? Was I a jerk?

Speaker 1 No, you were pretty good about it.

Speaker 1 You were not a jerk about it, but I was the asshole just coming up and being like, hey, buddy, who's now sucks? And it's like, what?

Speaker 3 It wasn't my idea, and I just say that it wasn't my favorite thing we've done.

Speaker 3 So I guess I'll leave it at that. And

Speaker 3 also, Paul Lowry's the guy that won

Speaker 3 that year

Speaker 3 that John Vandervelt hit in the water. And I would have said his name at the time, but I didn't remember it until literally just now.
It just dawned on me.

Speaker 1 He was definitely in that playoff, though, right?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, no, he was.

Speaker 3 You've got a good memory who was in the playoff, but it was a different dude that won the player.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right.

Speaker 3 That's really neither here nor there.

Speaker 1 That's fine. People will get freaked out if I got an obscure golf stat run

Speaker 1 on the show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they'll be very off-brand for me. Yes.
It is.

Speaker 3 It would have been, but you didn't, and there you go. So you're right on brand.

Speaker 1 Perfect. All right, Scott.
Thanks. As always, great to talk.
And make sure you tell Stanford Steve that

Speaker 1 Tiger will not win a major 2019.

Speaker 3 I will. I'm going to immediately hack Limas after I hang up, and I want to say thanks for having me on.

Speaker 3 It's been too long, and you should know, still to this day, anywhere I go, it's 50-50 that the person will come up and say, hey, Scott, I enjoy your show, or, hey, Scott, love you on pardon my text.

Speaker 1 Perfect.

Speaker 3 It's a 50-50 ratio, which is amazing considering that we do the show on ESPN nightly, and my visits here are fairly sporadic, but I always appreciate you

Speaker 3 reaching out and having me on.

Speaker 1 And then then, what about the like 5% that are like, hey, Scott, Peter North?

Speaker 3 That didn't come up much because

Speaker 1 that was pixelated out.

Speaker 3 That reaction, every time I see it, because I'm like, I remember, I just went, Jesus Christ. And I remember I didn't make our show, which is, you know,

Speaker 3 which was sad because it was special, that one.

Speaker 1 It was our show, yeah. Very special.
Very special.

Speaker 3 And you know what? Since it was only one, it'll always be our show.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's absolutely right.

Speaker 1 That's probably on your IMDb page right now. It's like right underneath Sports Series.
You were on Barcelona.

Speaker 3 Wasn't responsible for Who's Now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wasn't responsible for Who's Now did the audiobook for Tiger. No big deal.
Yep.

Speaker 3 No big deal. All right.

Speaker 1 Take Skype, Scott.

Speaker 3 All right, boys, be well.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments.

Speaker 1 First up, we have a this league for the Philadelphia 76ers and Amir Johnson going on his phone during the game while they're getting beaten by the Nets in game one of the playoffs, round one.

Speaker 1 And it's a this league. This league.
This league. Checking his phone during the game.
Bad view. Perfect booties.
Actually, he did say that his daughter was sick, so it kind of made it like, oh,

Speaker 1 can you wait for that until I get these jokes off? Yeah, we need to get a couple jokes off about the fact that NBA players check their phones on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 So, if they had the same rules as Augusta National, this never would have happened. Just confiscate all the phones and go down there.
True, true.

Speaker 1 Could you see what site he was on? Yeah, it was browsers. Browsers, okay.
That's right. He actually pays for

Speaker 1 premium membership. You should be allowed to look at porn on the sidelines of an NBA game.
If you're not all. You get horned up.
Yeah, you get horned up, you get that testosterone going.

Speaker 1 You got to see what Dreamon said about it? Yeah, he said, no big deal. You go on your phone at work.
True. Fact.
That is a checkmate. I do.
I do. I absolutely do.
You all do.

Speaker 1 I do a lot of stuff at work that I'm not

Speaker 1 necessarily

Speaker 1 doing. Yeah.
It wouldn't be a great idea

Speaker 1 for Draymond Green to bring a laptop out with him to the free throw line. Does that mean we can kick people in the nuts at work? Yeah.
You do it at your work. Yeah, you do it your work, Dre.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can you just cuss at people and call them little bitches all the time?

Speaker 1 He started getting salary shamed after that. They're like, yeah, but the difference is I don't get paid a million bucks a game.
Oh, so the more money you make, the less you should look at your phone.

Speaker 1 Yes, correct. Actually, you know what? Cliff Kingsbury was right.
Looks like the NFL is a step ahead of the NBA, allowing their players to take cell phone breaks.

Speaker 1 So this is on the Sixers' coaching staff for not allowing these breaks during games. It's crazy that people think that players don't check their phones during halftime and stuff.

Speaker 1 Of course they do. Of course they do.
Baker Mayfield probably.

Speaker 1 Wait, had they declared that they were going zero dark 30? Because if they haven't declared it, then I don't see a problem with it. True.
I don't think anyone's gone 0 Dark 30.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so as far as LeBron from the playoffs. As far as I'm concerned, it's just open season.
Yeah. Probably like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
LeBron's not. He decided to go dark on the playoffs altogether.

Speaker 1 I like it. The most zero dark 30 he's ever been.

Speaker 1 We have a who cares? It's Louisiana. It's Louisiana.
Who cares? Will Wade is back. Thank God.
Just slipped it. So perfect because from the beginning of this story, like, who the fuck cares?

Speaker 1 And then they made a whole thing about it where they didn't have him coach in the tournament.

Speaker 1 Then they waited for Tiger to win and Game of Thrones to come back to like slowly slide it under be like oh yeah he's a coach again dude all he did all he's guilty of is making a strong ass offer right and that's fine right yeah i mean i i respect him for sean miller still has a job sean miller has a job rick patino's gonna get another job if we work harder yeah we are working so he was in cincinnati He was.

Speaker 1 He was. So that was accurate.

Speaker 1 That picture where we didn't see the guy's face. Yeah, that was Rick Petino.
That was actually Rick Petino, but it doesn't look like he's taking that job. Got it.
But yeah, good for LSU. Fuck it.

Speaker 1 Who cares? Who's kids? Louisiana. Will wade.
Perfect news dump timing. The only way it would have been better is if it was right as Tiger was hitting his last putt.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That would have been pretty awesome. Yeah, well, they probably got screwed up by the time change.
Yeah, if there's anything that Louisiana knows, it's how to bury some bad news.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just throw it out there on a biggest Sunday of the year.

Speaker 1 All right, hot in the streets. What do you have? You have something for us.
Yeah, so this is a new trend that I've noticed recently. I'm wondering if

Speaker 1 Siebs is still going on.

Speaker 1 Siebs is big. Oh, by the way, shout out to everyone who went to Coachella.
I always almost say Coachella. Yeah.
Coachella looked looked awesome this year. Looked in Fuego.

Speaker 1 Those fucking porter potties. Your own personal fire fest.
Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah.
My hot in the streets is saying that you want an attractive person to kill you.

Speaker 1 That's like real hot on Twitter these days. That's kind of bizarre.
Yeah, if somebody's like really good looking, you say, oh, I want, like,

Speaker 1 name a hot person on Twitter real quick.

Speaker 1 PFT Cometer, you would say, thanks for suggesting that.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I want PFT Cometer to run me over in his car.
Probably can't reach my head, though. No, but I'm in a car.
Oh. I'm in a tall car.
Oh, you're you're in a car. You're like a big wheel?

Speaker 1 Very tall car. You got a tricycle? Dude, I got power wheels.

Speaker 1 You actually know how to ride a bike now? I got horses in the back, but they're all a little Sebastian.

Speaker 1 So people are actually saying this? Yeah, it's very common. Yeah, just if you think somebody's exceptionally attractive,

Speaker 1 say,

Speaker 1 oh man, I want this girl to shoot me in the head. Like, it's a nice way of saying that she's so attractive that

Speaker 1 she could do whatever she wants to.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It's out there. Trust me.
It's out there. Can I ask a question to the young bucks on this show, show? Bubby and Hank.
Is Coachella

Speaker 1 over?

Speaker 1 It kind of feels like it's not that cool anymore.

Speaker 1 I think it's still going. It is? Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 This is the first time. Childish Cambino airdropped everyone that was in the crowd shoes.
I think that's the first time. That's a pretty trendy movie.
This is trendy. This is a first year.

Speaker 1 Wait, what do you airdrop him? Shoes. Everyone that was in the crowd that had their airdrop open to the public, which is a psycho move.
He airdropped them.

Speaker 1 Picture of shoes. And it's like a voucher for free.
You get a free voucher for these shoes. Oh, that's pretty simple.
But the shoes are like white shoes that are purposely made to look shitty.

Speaker 1 What did we get free shoes for again? What did we do when Erica gave us free shoes? Oh, no, no. She gave us free shoes just as a thank you.
Oh, yeah. So I got Jordan's.

Speaker 1 Did we do anything big? Existed for three years.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 For your birthday. She sent us $150.

Speaker 1 We got some shoes. I still haven't used those.
Fuck. I need to buy some shoes.
So, Bobby, you think COVID-19? That was nothing like the

Speaker 1 by the way next year by the way we should yeah well it was kind of no i was very thankful for this next year we send liam to coachella with uh gopro strapped to him yes okay i like that uh actually i'm gonna cancel that because you were way too excited for it seems like a boondoggle seems like the man just wanted to go hang out you you failed that test you're such a millennial uh all right let's just give it to a dog let's just send a dog to coachella yeah that would actually be a great idea yeah we should do that with a gopro on it and just see how many pets he gets see how many pets he gets And

Speaker 1 we don't even need to give him food because they'll just feed him like scraps. That actually

Speaker 1 will be the festival dog. That's the future of Coachella.

Speaker 1 Like, eventually, they're going to run out of all the hottest new musical acts and they're just going to put a dog on stage and be like, free boops. Just the best doggo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's bringing the internet to Coachella. To see the lineup of performing acts, and it's like,

Speaker 1 Rex. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's Fido. Biscuits.
It's Fido with a free buffet of bacon. Wizard.
It's awesome. Yeah.
There's still like four more

Speaker 1 Coachella, too. Oh, so that's, okay, that's where my anxiety is, because that's exactly right, Hank.
This is the first year I've been like, you know what, I'm not intimidated by these young people.

Speaker 1 Once it goes on for the third week, I'm like, wait, it's still fucking going on. Kanye Sunday service at Coachella.
You'll be scared. Yeah, I will be very intimidated.

Speaker 1 Once Cam Newton shows up to Coachella, that's when I. And a couple jenners.
Yeah. You need Willie.
I can't keep track of all the Jenners, though. Kylie's got to come and like, you know, have

Speaker 1 her new booty's got to pop and some jean shorts. Which is new trend.
And then she burns them after everyone buys the new jean shorts. It's like, trend over.

Speaker 1 Was it Kylie that ended racism when she gave Pepsi to the copy? Not Kendall. Kindle.
That was Kendall. Doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter. Yeah.
Which one you pick. All right.
Let's wrap up. We're going to do

Speaker 1 instead of Monday reading for the next few weeks, we're going to do Game of Thrones recap because it's the hottest show.

Speaker 1 Huge. Finally.
Spoilers are going on right now, so if you do not want to be spoiled, do not listen to the rest of the show. We'll play, let's play like 30 seconds of music.

Speaker 1 So, if you're doing the music or 20 seconds, I'm dragon music. Put in the dragon music.
Mixed with it's Louisiana who cares. As soon as the dragon music's over, we're gonna spoil.

Speaker 1 We're gonna do spoilers. I have binged it all.

Speaker 1 Some folks hate corruption, some folks hate folks for breaking the law.

Speaker 1 Some folks have a problem the way we recruit basketball. Me, I don't mind it down in the by you all is fair.
Who cares? It's Louisiana. It's Louisiana.
Who cares?

Speaker 1 I have not said a word because I was scared it was gonna get spoiled. Hank, thank you for not spoiling it.
You're welcome. I did, I did have to.

Speaker 1 I knew I had to because it was like silently kind of pissing me off because you told me behind the scenes that you're not watching it.

Speaker 1 So I felt bad because if it was on the show, I probably would have. Yeah.
But internally, I was like, I have to do something. So

Speaker 1 the Florida Man spoilers. I did give you some spoilers to get some of those things.
I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 The crossbow and the toilet. Yep.
That was one of them. That was Peter Dinklich killed somebody, right? Oh, that was a spoiler? Yeah, big time.
Where the fuck are my Game of Throne notes?

Speaker 1 I have a couple questions. So, this is the first episode I've ever watched.
Shoot. Big Cat watched every.
Well, no, that's not true.

Speaker 1 I watched the first, like, I've watched the first two episodes back in 2011, something like that. Okay.
So, this is my first one.

Speaker 1 My first question is, there are tons of fires that are just burning everywhere. Who's in charge of doing switching out the firewood and the oil? There's no lights.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's no lights, and it's also there's like a kind of like the fake birds in Augusta. There's always crackling fires as like the background.
But you never see anybody changing the fire.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess that'd be a very boring part of the show to show. Well, there's some, I think I answered my question here.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so, Hank, I wrote notes down. We'll do a recap of the first episode of season eight.

Speaker 1 To quickly catch up, I wrote some notes down as we went along, as I was watching them.

Speaker 1 I'll just shoot some off here. Rob Stark is my favorite.
I wrote that down, and then I just said, whoops, because that was a red wedding. So I was like, this guy's really going to win it all.

Speaker 1 Red wedding was when that lady got stabbed in her uterus, right? Yeah,

Speaker 1 her tum-tum.

Speaker 1 They just changed that Dario guy. That fucked me up.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 it for, like, I had to look that up after I watch a show. They, like, changed a character, the actor, but it was a completely different looking guy.
It was like the Aunt Viv, but like

Speaker 1 totally different looking. Even that was a little bit closer than what they changed this one.
I was like, who is... They just never addressed it to the person died.

Speaker 1 He was like a blonde-haired, Fabio-looking guy to more of like a brown-haired, like, looked completely different. Completely different.
Completely different. The Narcos guy was awesome.
Oberyn.

Speaker 1 He was bisexual, and he was also like the best with a spear until he got too cocky. Yeah.
And then he got his eyes. gouged out.
It seems to me like incest shouldn't be a big deal in this show because

Speaker 1 for such like a small community of characters. Big come up for the state of Alabama because it's normalized everything.
Yeah, everyone's fucking everyone's sister. It's just like whatever.

Speaker 1 It shouldn't be so stigmatized. It's weird because at first, when I started watching it, I was like, this is gross.
Cersei and Tyra

Speaker 1 Jamie are fucking all the time. And then like Cersei just blows them.
And I'm like, oh, whatever. Yeah, their boyfriend, girlfriend, they fucked on their brother and their son's

Speaker 1 dead, like, bodybuilders. Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's cool. That was like that Shake That Bear video, remember? I didn't hate Joffrey.
That's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He made me laugh because

Speaker 1 he was so annoying. He was so killing.
Yeah, he was so... I hated Ramsey.
Ramsey was a psycho, but Joffrey, he was so hateable, but in a funny way because he was such a little twat.

Speaker 1 Like, I just wanted to slap him. Speaking of Oberyn, which episode ending left you the most shook? Oberyn was up there.

Speaker 1 Jon Snow dying was up there. But then, I don't know how people watch this show, like, live.
Because Jon Snow was dead for five hours for me. He was dead for like two years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was at the end of his season, right? When he died? Yes, yes. The hound is one of my favorites.

Speaker 1 I also, finally, the hound was the first guy I realized if you don't watch someone die in front of your face, they're not dead. Yep.
I was like, okay, that's how this goes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everyone in the show is either dying or murdering somebody. That's the best way I can describe it.

Speaker 1 Do you think he's going to fight the mountain? Yes. I thought the mountain was.
Who do you think's going to win? Hound. Wait, the mountain's not dead? The mountain is dead.

Speaker 1 No, they remade him as like a Frankenstein. Oh,

Speaker 1 the maester made him like he's real fucked up. He's all purple.
The Night King brings people back from the dead and then like the Maester has like an evil scientist at the same time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like the doctor. I like the Night King.
Should I root for him? Is he a good person to run for? He's a pretty badass dude. No, he only talks.
He's not what he wants.

Speaker 1 He's not cold, right? Yeah, what if he just wants someone to talk to him? If he talks, I might. Imagine if it was just like someone wanted to be like, hey, Night King, how was your day?

Speaker 1 How was your Wednesday?

Speaker 1 He's just like, thankfully, someone finally asked me this. I've been up in this north freezing my ass off and no one's been talking to me.
They're with dead people.

Speaker 1 So they're like the NFC North, right? Because they're in the cold all the time, but they pretend that they're not cold. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the whole North, like the Starks, the Wildlings, the Nike,

Speaker 1 the Army of the Dead, they're all basically offensive linemen on the Bears and the Packers. I love it.
And then that Dothraki guy that looks like Stephen Adams, he seemed cool, but he died. Died.

Speaker 1 Caldrago. Yeah.
Big time dead. Fuck Stannis Baratheon.
That guy sucks. I liked him a lot.
Up until he died. Oh, you liked when he burned his daughter? Up until he's burned.
12-year-old daughter?

Speaker 1 I was pulling. No, but more blood? Season 2?

Speaker 1 Oh, you liked him when he broke his head. Season 2.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was his killer.

Speaker 1 That was badass. But he's not ruthless.
He's ruthless. That's like Belichick shit.
He's got

Speaker 1 to get rid of your daughter one season too soon than one season too late. The daughter shit was fucked up.
The blood magic was amazing.

Speaker 1 The other part about Stannis Baratheon and the Spanish. And the remote is a smoke.
Well, never trust a chick who's dedicated to always wearing a choker. That's a big red flag.

Speaker 1 She takes it off and she becomes like a 90-year-old old lady from like the woman from it's basically Happy Gilmore's grandmother out of nowhere. She's like hot and then she takes off her choker.
Boom.

Speaker 1 She's old. I fake you.
I'm old. It's like the mock turtleneck for chicks, isn't it? The High Sparrow dude is the worst.
The worst. That guy thinks he's so much better than everyone.

Speaker 1 And he talks in like riddles and rhymes. And fuck him.
I'm happy. It's a terrible name.
Okay, here's my other hot take. I love Cersei.
I love her.

Speaker 1 When she chooses, when she, one of the best lines when they're like, what was the question? Do you choose this or this? And she said, I choose violence. I choose violence.

Speaker 1 And then she blows up everyone in the city.

Speaker 1 The many-faced god is like T-1000 when she's running after Arya. What is that? That little girl.
Is that like the calculator? No, no. T-1000 is the guy from Terminator, dude.
The T-I-83.

Speaker 1 The cop that runs really fast, and he just keeps running, and it's like, what the fuck is going on? Mike, you're thinking of drug wars. Yeah.
I haven't seen Terminator.

Speaker 1 I don't like how Ramsey Bolton treated his dogs. Didn't feed them.
That's how he did feed them. Well, but he didn't feed them for a while.
Yeah. He would starve them and then give them humans.

Speaker 1 What's the deal with the dragon? There's one dragon that went rogue, right? Well, he died. Oh, fuck.
How did he kill a dragon? The Night King. The Night King.
Oh, he speared him.

Speaker 1 That was where you were. Okay, he threw the spear at him.
I remember Twitter that night. They should never have Game of Thrones on at the same time as NFL Sunday.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's too confusing with the crossover tweets. Yes.
I didn't understand why they didn't just take one of the dragons and just burn that Night King alive.

Speaker 1 I feel like the whole show could have just ended. That episode was tough.

Speaker 1 The other thing with Ramsey that kind of pissed me off on the rewatch was that, remember when they walk in with the giant and Ramsey kills the giant?

Speaker 1 Like, he could have just killed Jon Snow right there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was kind of like a little bit of that every now and then. I do love the show.

Speaker 1 My last two points, Little Finger, whisper talking, so annoying. Fuck that.
Talk with your chest. Talk like a man.
Mr. Big Chest.
Stephen A. Smith would slap him around in a debate.

Speaker 1 Oh, I think Stephen A. Smith would beat a dragon.
Yes. In a debate? No, just inspired.
Just in real life. I think he could defeat a dragon.

Speaker 1 They said in this episode, the dragons eat whatever they want, so they have very bad nutrition. They're like Albert Hainsworth, who's just overweight all the time.

Speaker 1 But Dragon's got a little bit of a booty. Stephen A.
Smith might get lost.

Speaker 1 Get lost in that sauce. Speaking of that, are they going to have any dragon sex scenes?

Speaker 1 That would be cool. That would be a double whammy because it would be dragon sex and incest because they're related, right? Yes, they have to, brothers.
They have to.

Speaker 1 They're 69ing and just burning each other's genitals with their mouths. Yes.
My last question or thing that I wanted to talk about was

Speaker 1 what's up with everyone getting their dick cut off, and how do they pee?

Speaker 1 That's a good question. Like, half the people have their dicks cut off, and I just, I assumed for a while that they were just being

Speaker 1 castrated, their nuts were getting cut off, but they allude to like these guys are dickless, and it's like, is there just a hole that they just pee out of? And then Grey Worm had sex, but did he?

Speaker 1 No, he scissored because he's got a hole. Yeah.
He's got no dick. But you can't get any dicks.
They've got a whole army of just dickless guys.

Speaker 1 They're eunuchs, right? They're unsullied.

Speaker 1 Not one dick in that entire army. I feel like your body just resorbs the urine.

Speaker 1 That it can't piss out. Or I want someone to answer that.

Speaker 1 Where do they pee? You become like Mel Kuiper with just one hole. Just

Speaker 1 pump poop out of the same. Pumpkin pie for the whole army.
I got a fun tip about Mel Kuiper over the weekend. It was from a guy that used to work in a grocery store in Mel Kuiper's town.

Speaker 1 And he said every week Mel Kuiper would come in and he'd buy 12 cans of whipped cream and we had no idea what the hell he was doing with all the past pumpkin pie.

Speaker 1 It was for all the pumpkin pie he was eating. And the whipped cream bikini that he put on his wife.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And he uses it as mousse for his hair, too. Yes, exactly.
All right, this episode, we'll wrap up. I was underwhelmed.
They had to bring everyone back together. Bran is the creepiest dude in the world.

Speaker 1 He just fucking rolls around in the winter.

Speaker 1 Also, Jamie Lannister seeing Bran was fucking awesome. He was like, uh, so the whole, you saw episode one, how it all starts.
Jamie Lannister throws Bran off the fucking tower.

Speaker 1 That's who his fucking sister. Because he was fucking his sister.
And that was the first time they saw each other. Oh, that's what it was.

Speaker 1 And he was like, oh, fuck, that kid's still alive. That was a real creep, that kid.
Yes. He just like

Speaker 1 staring at people. He just puts his fucking eyelids back and he just sees everything.
Kind of like the fire, though.

Speaker 1 They don't show anyone wheeling him.

Speaker 1 He just shows up. Well, he's got hands, so he can wheel himself, right? I don't know if the wheelchairs are that.
I mean, there's stairs. He looks like a pretty sweet model.
Yeah, he's a weird dude.

Speaker 1 He's a weird dude. And then, yes, Jon Snow was totally fine.
Like, he got the news that he's actually fucking his aunt, and he was like, I don't want to be the king.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, but dude, you're fucking your aunt.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then he just didn't care.
Yeah. I mean, listen, in this day and age, why would you? It's all over the front page of Pornhub, anyways.
It's true. It's true.
So, yeah, that's Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 Any other thoughts, Hank? I love the show. I really do.
I knew I'd love it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be sad that it's when it's over. But I'm happy that I watched it this quickly because I do not understand how people have watched a show for 10 years.
I thought it was a good episode.

Speaker 1 I was pumped to see John and the Dragon, although I was hoping that they were going to like, you know, how there's the Targaryen music and there's the Stark music, like they play during their best moments.

Speaker 1 I was hoping they were going to blend those two for an epic

Speaker 1 Targaryen mashup. That would have been unrealistic.
I was a big music guy. That would have been cool.
I do like music.

Speaker 1 My other takeaway was that Theon, like, they built up this whole thing where he's got no dick. He bitched out when

Speaker 1 he got his dick kind of just dickless. Yeah.
No, it's like a big running theme.

Speaker 1 Like, there's i'd say half of the show is just dickless just botched circumcisions no that one was just the the fucked up ramsey bolton guy just cut his dick off he had to cut his own dick off

Speaker 1 he cut the

Speaker 1 theon grayjoy's dick off made him call him reek and then sent his dick back to his family not to mention that he had two girls come in the room and act like they're gonna have a threesome with him to get him hard and then he came in and just cut his dick off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say cutting off a flaccid penis would be a lot more difficult.

Speaker 1 You have to, yeah. It's almost like a mind game in order to cut somebody's dick off.
You have to get them horny first.

Speaker 1 But I thought it was kind of bullshit how they built up this whole like redemption story. Like he bitched out like five times.
He's finally going to save Yara.

Speaker 1 I figured there was going to be a whole battle, like an epic thing. And he just showed up.
I was like, all right, let's go. Let's go.
You're free. My question, Jon Snow got on that dragon.

Speaker 1 That was pretty cool. Yeah, that can be.

Speaker 1 I should have realized that he was a Targaryen the minute he gets on a dragon.

Speaker 1 That's like a big thing in the books and stuff. Like, you have to, like, it's like kind of like Avatar.
Like, you only have one dragon. Like, you gotta, like, you gotta become the dragon rider.

Speaker 1 And he was just like, she was like, oh, if you can get on, get on. And he's like, the sword and the stone, if you can pull this

Speaker 1 sword out of a rock and cut the dragon's penis off, then you become one of them. So that was our Game of Thrones recap.
Probably the most basic. You got any takes or predictions?

Speaker 1 Everyone keeps saying hot pie. What the fuck is with hot pie? He's a fat little shit that makes pies.

Speaker 1 That's like an internet thing. Oh, okay.
I just want to say I miss Hodor. Yeah, Hodor.
Here's Hodor. Hodor.

Speaker 1 I think he'll be back.

Speaker 1 I think Samuel Tarley is going to win the throne. And the whole, like, they're going to do a 10-year show where it's like, hey, at the end of the day, nerds win.

Speaker 1 And then Ravel's going to be like, see, this is why getting anchovies on my pizza in college wasn't that bad. Wait, what's the name of the kid in the wheelchair?

Speaker 1 Bran. I think Bran's going to win the throne.

Speaker 1 He's not a human anymore, though. He's a three-eyed raven.
He'll fucking tell you everyone about it. People think Bran is the night king.

Speaker 1 Just talk to Bran once, and he'll fucking let you know he went to Harvard and he's a three-eyed raven. So annoying.
Okay, I can see that was plot twist. I don't know what that means.
Yeah, he's like,

Speaker 1 you're a man now. Not really.

Speaker 1 Shut up, dude. I don't even know what that means.
He says almost. That means he's got it.

Speaker 1 That was some prophecy shit. Like, he knows he's going to do something because he's like, you're a man now.
He's like, almost. That means he's got to do something.
He's got to do something soon.

Speaker 1 So he's just got to tip over his wheelchair and beat the Army of the Dead.

Speaker 1 You know what would be such a good troll is if the very last episode they brought in like an actual person from modern day and they like a celebrity, like a guest star. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they said, okay, Hillary Clinton wins the throne. Yeah, there she is.
I'm with her. I'm still with her.
Or that still persistent.

Speaker 1 Or the last scene is the Iron Throne and Don't Stop Believing's played, and then it just fades to black. Oh, that'd be another gala.
Yeah. You're just a little crossover.

Speaker 1 All right, so yeah, that was probably the dumbest Game of Thrones recap, but also probably the most relatable, maybe, because we really don't. Like, we just like it.
I don't really know.

Speaker 1 Do you dive into the theories and shit? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm never going to do that.
I'm more of a. I read one of the books.
I like to watch. What? What? You what? One of the books? When?

Speaker 1 After I finished. There's a book about.
You knew all of it? Yeah. you how many pages probably like 300 when

Speaker 1 like right after I finished watching probably a month ago I love how Hank's squirreling away books like hiding his reading

Speaker 1 bigger of a story than me watching 77 hours of TV you read a book yeah did you have to hide it from people no I just didn't say it until now

Speaker 1 I never saw you with this book it's at my apartment

Speaker 1 you never brought it in you never read it on the of course not because he was ashamed of having a book damn

Speaker 1 did you read it the right way?

Speaker 1 Front to back? Yes. Okay.
You know what? Left to right? That whole thing? I'm going to Wikipedia Game of Thrones. I'm going to one-up you, Hank.
Yeah, I mean, that's, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Who do you think is going to win? I love Cersei. She's the baddest bitch alive.
She just kills everyone. She fucks her brother.
Then she's going to kill her brother.

Speaker 1 She's going to kill both her brothers. And I don't know.
Just as soon as you get to a certain point where it's like, oh, this bitch doesn't care. I fucking love her.
I like Darnarius. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or Khaleesi, if you're of a Dothraki. I am of a Dothraki.
We speak the tongue.

Speaker 1 Hey, listen, if you're listening to this still now,

Speaker 1 the gold episode, we talked to the guy who created Dothraki and High Valerian. Pretty badass.
Pretty badass. All right.
That's our show.

Speaker 1 We got a Hall of Famer coming up. Yep, on Wednesday.
Hall of Famer. Hall of Famer.
Future Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

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Speaker 1 so I don't know what to say and stay anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is a holiday to find you. Shine a

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Speaker 1 for your love of day.

Speaker 1 baby.

Speaker 1 Say yeah, it's about me. She's come from a little way.

Speaker 1 She's not the learning body to pay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 Life's no better to be safe than something.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

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Speaker 1 Things that I say

Speaker 1 every little I hope. Just a step

Speaker 1 away.

Speaker 1 You all think I've got to to do a lot.

Speaker 1 Shiny away.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the main light.

Speaker 1 Shiny away.

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