Scott Van Pelt + Game Of Thrones S8E1 Recap (Big Cat watched all 7 seasons)

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Restrictions apply. USA! On today's part in my take

The return of the one true king. Yes, that is Scott Van Pelt.
Live from Augusta, talking about Tiger. He really, we couldn't have picked a better guest for this show.
He's known Tiger's entire career. Covered him.
Was at Augusta. Really fun story from him about seeing Tiger, the happiest Tiger he's ever seen.
We also have Who's Back of the Week. We have a couple fun segments and a Game of Thrones recap, an actual one.
Big announcement. Big announcement.
I've been watching Game of Thrones and PFT watched the 16th. Actually, twice you watched the 16th.
I watched 32 aggregate minutes of Game of Thrones recaps. And PFT watched the first episode with us on the eighth season.
So we're all caught up. I have many questions.
Yes. It's time, though, before we get going.
We're going to get right back to the show. Hey, buddy.
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Tap or visit SympericaTrio.com to learn more. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence.
And I'm not like the song What? Hey! We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App. Our new presenting sponsor, thank you, the Cash App.
Today is Monday, April 15th. Actually, day.
And Tiger is back. And actually tax day.
And actually tax day. Did you guys follow your extensions? Extension, baby.
Extension City. Now, somebody told me that you have to send in how much you think that you owe them when you follow the extension.
True. Fact.
I don't think that's real. 90 percent.
Never done it. That's what I heard.
Never gotten caught. 90 percent of it.
90 percent of what you think that you owe? Yeah, so you can round that. Yeah, I think I owe negative $2,000.
So do they have to send me like $1,900? I think so. Yes, pretty much.
$1,800. Remember your taxes.
If you're listening to this, it's too late. But the real story is Tiger Woods is officially back.
I knew it from the second he stepped foot onto that first tee box with that red that he was wearing the mock turtleneck looking good mock turtlenecks were made a huge comeback it was like it was like a neon red that he was wearing i saw that i was like it's over it's over he he had that tiger swagger we have uh scott van pelton who talked to us in depth about seeing like old tiger, but it really felt like that. It was the most fun sports event that I can remember in a very long time when one of your teams isn't involved.
Because everyone is either rooting for Tiger because America loves a redemption story. We tore him down.
The DUIs, the infidelity, the sex scandal, all that shit, and then watching him build back up. Or you're someone like us in our age group where you got into golf because of Tiger Woods.
Golf became fun in the late 90s because of Tiger Woods. So for to see him come back, dominate, and win the Masters in a star-studded field where it was insane for a while there was just an all-time moment.
Everyone chanting Tiger, his kids. That's why sports are fun.
For those of you that might not have remembered what golf was like pre-Tiger in the PT era, I'm talking mid-'90s, early-'90s, it was basically like Ernie Els and Jim Furyk. Greg Norman.
Just lanking around out there and wearing very finely pressed khakis. And then Tiger came.
Weird patterned shirts. Very strange.
Greg Norman's patterned shirts were always weird. Love him.
The shark. Yeah, the great white shark with the...
He's the golden bear. Remember? Yeah, that's right.
He's the golden bear. The golden bear.
And then Tiger came in and then all of a sudden golfers are athletes now. Yep.
They're swagged out. Ricky Fowler is wearing like University of Tennessee belts.
Brooks Koepka. That's cool.

Looks like he could be a quarterback in the NFL.

I said Brooks Koepka maybe

700 times this week. It's addicting, isn't it?

Literally addicting. Hearing Nick Faldo say

Brooks Koepka in his native

tongue, it gets me going. Even though he's very

American. Yes.
I think

you confused some people thinking that Brooks Koepka.

No, he's from South Africa. Yeah, he's from South Africa.

I'm Brooks Koepka. I'm from South Africa.

The hand up, I never thought

I'd see Tiger back in this spot. I was

Thank you. you confused some people thinking that no he's from south africa he's from south africa i'm from south africa uh the hand up i never thought i'd see tiger back in this spot i was definitely in the camp of he will never he'll he'll you know be in it in it maybe a couple times maybe flirt with one win a couple shell opens or whatever the fuck is out there but he'll never win another major i was very wrong but it's one of those times where i'm happy to be wrong.
I'm happy to eat crow and be like, hey, guess what? All my takes were wrong, but it was awesome to watch him win, and I'm happy that he's back. That's what should be on the menu for the next Champions hitters, crow.
Crow. Everyone's got to eat crow.
You should just make everybody in their green jackets eat crow. And Christian Yelich's ass.
Yeah. No, it was a lot of fun.
I don't remember the last time I've had this much fun watching golf on a Sunday ever. Yes.
And it was amazing. I think the security guard that slide tackled Tiger on Friday.
Which, by the way, you milked that one, Tiger. He milked it a little bit, but whatever it did.
And he tore his Achilles, and then you slow-mo, and the guy didn't even touch him. No, he clipped him.
He clipped him. Whatever happened, that security guard needs to get a little taste.
He needs to get at least the Matt Kuchar. Yeah.
Like, what was it, 0.06% of the purse should go to that guy because he got fired, I'm pretty sure. Well, that was also a good spot for Tiger because, you know, when Tiger was on his way back, when he had all the surgeries and stuff, any time things went wrong, he could basically just go to his knees and be like, I'm hurt.
So that was kind of a, hey a freebie that you can say you're hurt oh wait you don't need it you're you can overcome all this stuff and you can win the masters your fifth green jacket hilarious watching patrick reed have to hand it to him after all the shit that went down in the rider cup and the butler cabin jim nance just owns that thing he made nick fal which was – actually, let's put the audio in there. To walk down there and reminisce.
He's going to choke me up. Yeah.
There you go. That's exactly how you were when you won the green jacket in here.
People don't always see the inside of you. I knew you wanted to do that to me.
You rotters. Special memories.
All time, I'm going to make you cry on live television and then just kind of outflow you. He just gave him a handshake.
He's like, yep, I knew you'd fucking cry, you baby-ass bitch. My work here is done.
Yeah, Jim Nance is like a SEAL Team 6 member with his interrogation skills. He should honestly be a member of the military and just lock lock somebody in the butler cabin with him and he will crack he will make you crack within like five minutes and the terrorists will be crying and saying how their dad taught them to build a suicide vest and where they're going with it was the jerry mcguire rod tidwell when he's just like yeah i knew you were gonna make me cry nick falder just sitting there choking up choking back the tears big time masters is a big time memory memory lane.
Everyone's got to go down memory. They always just, hey, we don't want to show golf right this second.
Let's just show a Masters from 1988. It didn't even have to be that important, but you can get someone to cry about it.
Yeah, if you notice, before the coverage started, I think on Saturday, they had two hours of Jim Nance just remembering things from the Masters. Yeah, and there's an hour just solely for Jack.
Yeah. There's always an hour for Jack.
They're just like, hey, here's Jack. One of my favorite parts after Tiger won was Jim Nance saying, and I've got an exclusive message from Jack Nicklaus who says, great for golf, so happy to see the guy win again.
This is amazing. And it turns out it was just a tweet that Jack Nicklaus had sent out.
Right. That Jack Nicklaus didn't even send out.
His grandson sent out because Jack Nicklaus was bone fishing off the coast of Florida, which Tiger probably was like, oh, bone fishing. That sounds pretty good to me.
I think Jim Nance probably just has on his Twitter, he only follows Jack Nicklaus, so he just assumed that that was a text directly to him. Yes.
Does Jim Nance even have Twitter? He might not even. a burner yeah someone definitely said that hey we got a personal text yeah yeah he just opened his twitter he's like oh jack jack's talking to me again damn this is awesome um i i want to add a couple things in about the broadcast uh verne verne amazing the best he is great when he i don't even think that he gets paid to do this anymore does he just like shows up my goodness oh Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
I love Vern. It really is great to have him.
And I know SEC fans don't love him because he got a little bit senile towards the end with football. But his voice and also – It's comforting.
It's also one of those things that it's knowing where the voice is coming from. It's coming from this just big round basketball of announcing that just makes it great.
Like, you can just see his rosy cheeks smiling as he announces Tiger on the 17th or whatever hole he has. Uncle Vern would be the easiest guess who character to nail if you're playing against somebody.
He looks like all of them. Yeah, exactly.
He's a mix of everybody. So a couple notes about the broadcast.
One, I don't think I root for the course anymore. The course got embarrassed.
This was a bad weekend for the course. Yeah.
A lot of low scores. I'm not a big...
Augusta's a different one. Like I root for the course anymore the course got embarrassed this was a bad weekend for the course a lot of low scores Augusta is a different one I root for the US Open course and the British Open occasionally and you also want to see how the different courses add up was it as good as last year's course where they put in the pins the USGA they're really fucking with people Augusta is just like hey we're just going to have some birds near microphones.
We're going to do some azaleas, some pines, and a couple, you know, some mulch, some really nice brown mulch, and boom, you've got a tournament. It wouldn't surprise me if they actually, like, lavaliered, mic'd up some of the birds that were there.
Oh, I think they have- They pin microphones onto their little breasts. I honestly think they have microphones in the trees.
Yeah. They do, because some of those birds, they're in your ear.
Very loud. They're all the way in your ear.
Loud birds. Another note that I have, I root for the cameraman now.
Okay. When you see a guy hit a long second shot, an approach shot into a par four, and the cameraman tracks the ball in the air as it's falling down, how the fuck does that happen? That's a sport.
I also like when they lose it and they just go to the alright we fucked up we lost it and they just zoom out. They're like you find it.
It's so funny. There are two funny things that they do with the camera work there.
One is if it's on the wrong spot on the green and you see the ball land like 50 yards away. That's always good comedy.
The other is when they show it landing on the green and then they do the world's slowest zoom out and you see that the ball even though it's on the green, it's still like 70 yards away from it. Turns out that was a really shitty shot.
He nailed that shot. He's still got to use a pitching wedge.
The other new addition that they made this year I loved the scrolling leaderboard that they had. That was like an app.
It was like you were swiping up on your phone and it was scrolling up. Because for the only three hours a day that I'm not on my phone, I want to feel like I'm on my phone.
Same with themasters.com. The leaderboard was on top and they made it look like Instagram stories.
Yeah, they did. I wanted to click on them.
So it was little circles. I kept on trying to click on it like, ooh, I wonder what Tiger's doing right now.
Tiger would have some lit, lit Instagram stories. The only good thing about the course is watching people continuously fail on the 16th with the water.
Oh, we had, speaking of having it be like a vintage Sunday with Tiger being back, Rick Riley also back when he fired off. Who spent more time in water, Michael Phelps or Francesco Molinari? That was so close.
I mean, Michael Phelps always plays. Well, Rick, Michael Phelps is very, very fast, so he's...
You should have picked a bad swimmer that would have spent more time in the water. Or someone who drowned him down.
Because he gets in and out. Yeah, someone who famously drowned him down.
Catherine Wood. Napoleon Bonaparte.
Who spends more time in water. Yeah.
Napoleon Bonaparte got drowned? No, I just... He was on an island, so I assume...
I mean, usually when people go to to islands they probably try to swim off it and then drown right yeah that's generally how it happens uh just been more time from the rock yeah that's a good one um a polar bear that's experiencing the effects of climate change yes or molinari cola yeah yeah no that's too cute i don't like that um so yeah it was it was awesome i loved. I also love the caddies wearing numbers.
That's an underrated Augusta tradition. I looked it up.
Do you know how they give out the numbers for the caddies? In their little painter outfits? To keep track of them? Yeah, to keep track in case one tries to escape. No, so the defending champion, their caddy gets number one.
Ooh. Okay, and then everybody else just gets theirs in the order by which players officially register to compete in the tournament.
Yeah. So then it's just totally random.
Get your paperwork in. That's why John Daly, his caddy was probably always like infinity.
Sign up early. Yes.
Yeah. Just remember to sign up early.
Can you imagine if you forgot to sign up for the Masters? Oh, that'd be embarrassing. Your caddy just like, whoops.
Yeah. I didn't realize it was coming.
I was worried about tax day day i'm thinking about getting some recreational fusion surgery yeah it seems to work it's not a bad idea just fuse that that that's anything together yeah any part of my body yeah maybe just get a metal rod somewhere ooh fuse my two testicles together because why do you have two they're on each side they get in the way just yeah nice axle that just connects them. Yeah, I think that'd be nice.
I think that plays.

Yes.

Let's see.

We also, so we had Rick Riley back.

We had Phil hitting bombs.

Phil is just, I want Phil now to win another Masters.

I don't think he will, which I guess I'm doing exactly what I just did with Tiger.

We don't learn lessons.

No chance will he compete again, but Phil being cocky and like, I'm going to hit bombs.

I'm going to do this.

I feel like Ricky should be our next guy. Ricky? I like Ricky.
He was a sneaky great guest on this show. Ricky is the next guy who hasn't won one.
I'll be rooting for Ricky in every major from here on out. I think I agree with you, Hank.
I like Ricky Fowler a lot. Tiger finally wins a major from behind, which he'd never done.
Again, that's one of those things that the narrative had been out there for so long, I'm going to choose to ignore that it happened this time. That's true.
We're going to keep going with that. Yeah, that's the narrative.
Tiger came from behind on Sundays. That's my favorite golf narrative.
Gonzaga had never gone to a Final Four. Let's see, what else? Well, we have a lot more with Scott Van Pelten.
He actually gives us some real golf analysis. Should we talk quickly about the NBA playoffs that have begun? As the No.
1 Orlando Magic podcast on the internet, we've decided that just from our four seconds of talking about the Magic on Friday. I would say that we got the Magic their win.
Do you believe in Magic? Yes, we do. Yes, we do.
We absolutely do. Quick pop quiz.
Can you name four players on the Magic? Yeah. Because I can't.
DJ Augustine. Aaron Gordon.
Yep. Aaron Gordon was my one.

DJ Augustine.

I'll just say that again.

Yeah, that works.

Yeah.

That's four names.

Four names that we just said.

Alfred Payton, I think, is on there.

Oh, yeah. He's got great hair.

His name's definitely not Alfred.

Do they still have pinstripes?

Yeah.

They do have those jerseys.

I like that.

Yes.

Yeah, I think.

Oh, Michael Carter-Williams.

NCW is on there?

He was getting heated.

He almost fought a rep.

I'm going to go. Do they still have pinstripes? They do have those jerseys.
I like that. Yes, yes.
Yeah, I think. Oh, Michael Carter-Williams.
NCW's on there? He was getting heated. He almost fought a ref.
Fuck yes. Yes.
Okay, great. NCW's the worst pro that should be good.
Did you see that? He charged. He was running at a ref to contest a call, and the ref flinched like he was about to get hit.
He should have been allowed to hit him twice then. He's a classic guy.
You just look at him, and you're like, that guy should be awesome. And then you watch him play, and you're like, does he know how to play? Rookie of the year, I think.
Yeah, that's right. So imagine being a Raptors fan and going all these years and having LeBron own you and then just being like, actually, it's not that hard to do.
DJ Augustine can also own you. Yeah, it's not a good look for Toronto at all.
They'll win this series, but it's good to have the Magic get that one. The big news is should we be worried about the process i think we should the sixers look bad they looked very very bad they were the final score was a lot closer than the game really was it was um jay butt doesn't look great no um joel and bead he went what like he's got a problem or something like that's got knee problems.
Yeah, and they don't have a guard that can shoot.

Jay Butt did score 36.

He was the only one.

But Ben Simmons is like, I don't even know.

The Sixers are, the process has now got no point where it's like all these pieces that should work together and it just doesn't feel like they do.

I think Jay Butt came in and screwed up the whole chemistry.

That's what I think.

Simmons can't shoot.

Yeah, that's just a problem.

It's so much easier to defend in the playoffs.

In the playoffs when you can actually game plan and be like, hey, let's just not. Let's just let that guy shoot.
But he's big. He is.
He's tall. He's a very tall point guard.
Yeah, so don't forget about that part. We called the Spurs Nuggets because the Spurs just never die.
So they're not that. Like, the Nuggets are a better team, but they're young, and this is their first time in the playoffs in a while.
And the Spurs are just – the funniest thing about the Spurs is they're going to do this, and they don't have any of the Spurs anymore. Besides the Marcus Aldridge.
They don't have Manu. They don't have Tony Parker.
They don't have Tim Duncan. They don't have Danny Green.
They don't have any of the Spurs. They don't have Kawhi.
They don't have any of the Spurs, these guys, but they're just – They have Pop. It's Pop.
It's Pop in the jerseys. Working his magic in there.
Also, shout out to TJ McCollum. Finally avenged that tweet.
Sorry, CJ McCollum. Has he hay? Has he hay? CJ McCollum finally avenged that tweet.
What, I'm trying? Was it I'm trying, Denise? Yes. When somebody told him, some woman tweeted at him and said, first win a playoff game.
And then he tweeted that he was trying. And he finally got it.

It is good that the Blazers won a playoff game.

After last year in the Pelicans' debacle, Giannis is an absolute monster.

He's a problem.

He's a huge problem.

He's the best player in the NBA at this point.

And they just demolished the Pistons.

Although, Blake Griffin, so the Bucs won by like 35.

Blake Griffin easily scores 36 in that game. So I'm not even counting that as a win for the Bucs.
Agreed. Agreed.
Sorry. Blake Griffin would have won that.
And then your man, Kyrie, played pretty well. Yeah, I've actually come back off my take on Friday.
Uh-oh. Wait, which one? The Masters take? No, that was worried.
No, that was, I don't even know what you're talking about. That the Celtics were in trouble without Marcus Smart.
I remember it as I was watching the game that they had so many guards that, you know, there was like playing time problems. And now that they can all focus, get all the playing time they need, they're going to come together even more.
PFT, how many points did the Pacers score in the third quarter? I'm going to guess, because it was low, I'm going to guess 18. Eight.
Eight. Fuck.
They scored eight points in the third quarter. Not great.
29 in the entire second half.

That's not good.

That's the Brad Stevens Bowl right there. That's not good.

Also, don't thank me for my service, but my TV was only playing Spanish,

so I had to watch the whole game.

Wait, you can change that.

I couldn't.

You can.

Wait, you just hit the closed caption.

How much time did you put into trying to get English before you gave up?

Halfway through the first quarter, like 20 minutes.

Cinco minuto.

Yeah, because... How much time did you put into trying to get English before you gave up?

Halfway through the first quarter, like 20 minutes.

Cinco minutos.

Because every time I would change, like, all the other channels were fine.

Only TNT.

And then when it would go to the studio, like, halftime, Charles and I were in English.

It was, it was, I just gave up.

I was like, whatever.

Is Brad Stevens entering my ninto for es trabajo? Negativo. Pero es trabajo de entramaniento.
Si. Si or no? All-time sports weekend.
So we had the NBA playoffs, we had Tiger, and then we had the NHL playoffs going on on the penguins are dead dead it's time to ask the question yeah did the washington capitals kill the eastern conference it's fair not just the penguins who by the way they haven't won a game in the playoffs since the caps beat them true nor have the tampa bay lightning down 3-0 which really hurts if you go with the strategy the lightning can't get swept so i'm gonna bet them every game. Turns out that's not working out for me right now, as we currently sit here.
The best part about the... Next game, though.
The Islanders, though, the Islanders are kicking the shit out of the Penguins. The fact that they have to go play in Brooklyn next series sucks.
And I think I'd be against the Capitals, right? Yeah, it would be. Which is when they're serious, which it looks like we're going to.
Incredible. Do you have one of the best home ice advantages? And then you're like, no, let's go to fucking Williamsburg.
I want to go to Nassau. That's the name of the arena, right? The Nassau Arena.
The Collier. The Collier.
I want to go to the barn. The old barn.
I want to go to the old barn and set up in the parking lot there before the first game of that series and just see if there's anybody that accidentally drives to the barn instead of going into Brooklyn. A couple people.
There will be one. So I do give credit to the Penguins and to the Lightning.
It's a smart move to not want to get embarrassed by the Capitals again. True.
So just getting the fuck out of the playoffs as early as possible. It's crazy.
What about the teams they haven't beat? What do you mean? Like the Bruins. Yeah, so they don't know.
They don't know any better. Yeah, it will happen.
It's called Once Bitten, Twice Shy, and the Bruins haven't been bounced from the playoffs by the Capitals in a while, so they don't know. They don't know what they don't know.
They don't know what they don't know. Let's actually put it on a quote board.
They don't know what they don't know. All right, you want to do Who's Back? Let's do Who's Back.
Hank, why don't you start? My Who's Back, I did have Phil. He had probably one of the best pregame social videos.
A lot of times teams will make their players do it when they're in the locker room. They're not enthusiastic.
It doesn't come off enthusiastic. Phil did a video driving up to Augusta National, like a pregame video about how he's going to hit bombs.
His club speed was faster than ever. He did like a .6.
I didn't understand the joke. So Kuchar, he won a tournament, what was it, like a month ago? And he was using like a fill-in replacement caddy.
And I guess the custom is if you win, it's normal to tip your caddy 10% of what it is that you win in that purse. But since it was a replacement guy, they worked out a contract ahead of time saying he would get like...
A thousand bucks. Like two grand.
And then Cooch was not going to be shamed into paying his caddy that extra tip. Right.
So that was just an electric video all around. Yep.
Need more of those going forward. Also, Ruffin' Rowdy is big time back.
Yes. So we're going...
It's Friday. This Friday in West Virginia.
Friday. Place that I fought.
Like Hillbilly. Back to West Virginia.
In a backwoods armory but Ruff and Rowdy like the Instagram account

just posted a promo clip

and John Bon Jones

he said

John Bon

is that John Bon Jovi's

not the drummer for Led Zeppelin

John Bones Jones

whatever

there you go

he said I swear

I love his interviews

UFC could learn

a thing or two

from you guys

yes

that was pretty crazy

I like it

it's a smart play by him

because we might be

the only fighting league

that sanctions him

in a couple years

yeah I was gonna say

if there's anybody

that knows something

about like promoting a fight

it's the guy that

Thank you. Yeah.
John Jones is a huge, handsome Hank fan. Is that it? Tom Brady, yeah.
Those are my Who's Backs. And Tom Brady loves you, too.
Great Who's Backs. That's great.
That was actually very good. My first Who's Back of the Week, you guys can probably guess, it's South Africa rugby.
Okay. South Africa won.
Nice. They won the cup.
But bonus Who's Back of the week. Wait, we didn't win it? Bonus who's back of the week is USA rugby.
Bonus who's back of the week is USA rugby because, again, missing two of our best players. We finished in fourth place.
Oh. And we're still in first place in the entire world.
So suck it. How many fourth places can we get to win the title? This is probably the last one that we can do.

So cherish it,

boys and girls at home.

Because we're three points up on Fiji.

This is the last fourth place

that will keep us in first place.

That's right,

but that's fine

because we have another month

until the London 7th,

the next tournament.

We're going to get healthy.

And then if we compete well in London,

and there's only two left,

so we could win the whole damn thing.

We actually could do this.

Are you going to go to London?

It's probably too close. I don't know.
Do they have MDMA? It's probably not a long enough trip. Do they have ecstasy in London and there's only two left so we could win the whole damn thing.
Are you going to go to London? It's probably too close.

Do they have MDMA?

Do they have ecstasy in London?

We're back in a big way.

Also, since we're still in first place

we've qualified for the Olympics already.

Great.

Oh, there's Olympic rugby too?

When's the next Olympics?

Probably never.

Because of climate change as we addressed earlier.

They should do the Olympics every year. What the fuck? Yeah.
That's a good take. Just do it in Vegas.
Yeah. Because, like, no city wants it.
Just do it in Vegas every year. Yeah.
My other who's back of the week is gum. Yes.
So Tiger was chomping. He was chomping at that gum.
I don't know. I think it was dinting ice.
Yep. I could kind of tell from the...
He was giving it, so I've got some gum here. It's supposed to make you focus more.

Yeah, well...

The frontal cortex of your brain.

Maybe...

Vortex.

Maybe Tiger was on MDMA.

Yeah.

Because I know that I needed some of this last weekend.

You got one for me?

Oh, we're splitting.

When I was in the stands in Hong Kong.

We only have one piece?

We got one piece left.

What about Hank?

All right, so let's see how much better this podcast gets while we chew gum. Hank, ask us a math question.
69. Got it.
Hank, do you have a serious math question? Do you think people enjoy this gum chewing? I think so. I mean, did you hear the interview that we had with, who was it, Christian Leitner? Was he chewing the gum? Yeah, he was.
Yeah. Yeah, he was.
Oh, man. Now he's on the left field.
I like that. Hank's not even chewing gum, and you're getting a contact gum high to your frontal cortex.
Yeah. Is it cortex? Yeah, your cerebral cortex.
Your frontal lobe. Frontal lobe.
That's the thing you take out when you want to get dumber? That's your lobotomy when you want to get real stupid. How about that? How about people back in the day being like, hey, you know how we fix mental illness? Take some of their brain out.
Yeah. This guy's sad all the time.
Let's just fucking cut his brain off. Let's just cut his brain off.
That will fix it. That's pretty cool.
Then we'll put him in a fucking room with white walls for the rest of his life. They fill your brain with leeches? Yeah.
This will fix it. Oh, man.
You know Jerry down the block? Yeah, he was always sad, so we just cut half his brain off. We cut the part of his brain that he feels sadness off.
Now he can't feel anything, but at least he's not sad. Jerry keeps saying weird shit, so we're gonna take out the part of his brain that allows him to talk.
Hey, you idiot doctors. Little did you know, all you need to do is give Jerry a piece of gum.
I actually feel smarter right now. I do too.
I'm locked in. But it's really hard to chew one half of a piece of Orbitz.
I'm losing it in here. You know what it is though? I can't find it in my mouth.
I think it takes your brain off something else and it just like, it doesn't allow you to get nervous. Chew a little bit while you're talking.
All right, there you go. It takes your brain off something else and it makes makes you focus a little bit of your physicality on the gum.
Yeah. So it's like, what was it, in Tin Cup? Yeah.
Where he was trying to cure the yips, and he made him turn his hat backwards. Uh-huh.
It's like if you're doing something different- Yeah. Then that's one less thing.
Focus on two things, like rubbing your belly and patting your head. Right.
It's tough to do. So you can't ...
If you're Sergio Garcia, I would just load up with just like a mouthful double bubble. Yeah.
Maybe, yeah. Get outside your own head a little bit.
Ooh, go to the little watermelon bubblicious, the goat. Ooh, what about the gushing gum? Is that too much for a course? Yeah, except those are like...
You ever notice like the juicy fruits and stuff? You get like maybe three seconds. Yeah.
And it's like, all right, there goes the taste. It's all sugar.
Tiger's been-

Zebra gum?

Using Gushers for a while.

Remember Zebra gum?

That shit was fun.

It was just fun to unpack it.

Oh, no, it's not Zebra gum.

What is that?

So basically, it's Fruit Stripe gum.

Fruit Stripe.

Yikes, Zebra gum.

Fruit Stripe gum.

It's the yummy fruit one.

You sound like someone who doesn't chew a lot of gum.

Don't call it Zebra gum.

I'm a big gum chewer.

I call it by its actual nomenclature.

I respect for the brand.

All right, that was our gum segment. Okay.
All right, my who's back. I'm a big gum chewer.
I call it by actual nomenclature. I respect for the brand.
Alright, that was our gum segment. Alright, my who's back.
I got two. The first is Suckin' Titties.
Suckin' Titties is officially back because Jay Cutler saved a life. So, the story is that Kristen Cavallari had clogged milk ducks and Jay, my quarterback, had to suck on them harder than he's ever sucked.
That's a direct quote. He sucked in some divisional games.
No, no, listen. People were making that joke.
That's too... Be smarter.
Be smarter. Just because he sucked on titties doesn't mean he sucked in football.
But yeah, he's saved a life. Have you ever saved a life by sucking on some titties? I'll never know.
I probably have. You should probably try.
Just start sucking on every titty. First Mitch, now Jay.
Mm-hmm. No, Mitch kisses him.
Oh, true, true. Kisses his titties.
Very, very, very different. Yeah, he just gives him a soft...
Can you have a clogged milk duck if you're not pregnant? I probably have clogged milk ducks right now. Yeah, guys can lack it.
Would you like to suck on my titties? I probably got four of them. Yes, yes.
All right, my other who's back is... Actually, I'm going to do two more.
Ty Lue. Ty Lue is back.
We should mention it because he is now a frontrunner to get run over by LeBron again. That is – the Lakers are so funny.
Genius move to not get rid of Rob Palenka. So when this fucks up, they can be like, oh, this is Rob Palenka's fault.
Now we're starting over. Yes, yes.
Luke Walton already has a new job with Sacramento Kings, so shout out to Luke Walton. And then my other who's back, similar segue from the Lakers, Magic Johnson's tweets.
So if you remember, he quit, and part of the reason why he quit was he wanted to tweet. Well, guess what, guys? We got a tweet.
Here it goes. I've had a great Saturday watching the NBA playoff games.
The Nets shocked the Sixers, and the Magic did the same to the Raptors. Golden State played like champs today.
There you go. Worth it.
Worth it. Absolutely worth it.
Wait, I got one more. A big, big congratulations to Tiger Woods for winning the Masters.
The roar of Tiger is back. Magic is back.
We are back. We're big Magic fans.
Oh, my God. it's so good that he's back yeah because i was missing these kind of things he is the king of saying nothing while saying everything just stating exactly what's going on literally he is basically the bottom line scroll i want to see him live tweeting game of thrones this dragon is big this dragon this dragon sure seems angry, are they brother and sister? Why do brothers and sisters have sex? That seems unusual.
Daenerys has very nice hair. It's bright.
Yep. All right.
I don't think Daenerys' hair is natural. Huh.
Makes you think. All right.
Let's get to our interview with Scott Van Pelt. Been a long time.
Perfect guest to come on after the Masters. He was there.
He knows Tiger. He's followed him.
He's covered him his entire career. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, here he is, Scott Van Pelt.
okay we now welcome on our very, very good friend You can watch him every single night on SportsCenter He is up for an Emmy But most importantly, his claim to fame is that he gets to work with Stanford Steve every single day It is Scott Van Pelt, live from Augusta After Tiger Woods wins his fifth green jacket scott just start with that just give us like a holy shit i can't believe this happened that's what it was man like but i mean i don't know that's it that's it's it was holy shit i can't believe it happened that's what it was for sure i mean look i've started coming here in 97 when he was a kid and he won. And obviously, you know, a lot's happened.
But, you know, 43 bald spot fused back. The kids waiting for him the whole bit.
And the fact that, and I don't know how like super golfy we want to be, but I will say, like, it's worth saying this. There's a whole wave of guys that he created, right? The guys that look like Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka that could be athletes in any sport, Tony Finau.
And they all kind of wanted to be him. And he beat all of them.
Like the top eight of the top 15 in the world finished in the top 10. So all the best were playing their best.
And when it's over, he wins. And I've never seen a scene here at Augusta like what that was after he won, ever.
It's always loud. People are always excited.
That was completely different. And, I mean, yeah, I don't know.
I wish I could give you a more sort of succinct answer. I wish I could give you a better answer.
But it was what you said at the start. It was that.
And it was that kind of all day. Yeah, the crowd chanting Tiger after he won.
I don't think I've ever seen an Augusta crowd get that rowdy before. No.
Look, there's a certain decorum here. And, you know, people call it golf church.
And I'll buy that in the sense that when people come here whether you're a believer or not you act a certain way if you're in church well people here largely keep it you know loud but respectful there are roars but not like that not just like a game not like people chanting a dude's name and it didn't stop and it was just the look on his face and his kid charlie his son with that grin and his hat on backwards like that was the cool that's what he did this for like so his kids could see him be that guy and so the whole of it man all of it in in totality was just insane I it was it's the coolest thing I've seen here and I've been lucky enough to be here for a lot of years, so it's that. So you know Tiger.
You know him going way back. Actually, you called him.
He was a recurring guest. He's been on the show.
So credit to us. He's got my number.
I have his number, as you know. You guys broke the news on our first ever visit.
Did he be back in the future? That's right. Yeah.
We fixed him, too. I'm going to take credit for is this is this the happiest you've ever seen him no question no question and again it's framed through those through the eyes of his of his children it's that and and he's won a lot and he won a lot and it got to the point where it was just sort of expected and it was people enjoyed it right but it was it got to the point where it's just sort of like you shrug and go all right cool there's another one right well all right we saw this last time well it's been a long time and the reaction from him like that waiting for his his son and and then his mom and then hugging sam and then his girlfriend as well like just them and then his agent who i've known mark steinberg forever i mean there's it's weird when you know people in a different way and you've known them for as long as I've known them.
I just, you see what those, those hugs, man, they're lingering longer. So absolutely.
Um, it was absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt, the happiest I've ever seen. I'm like that, that, that moment on 18 that just didn't end, um, was just joy, absolute joy.
And joy. And the thing is, look, I know there are people out there that aren't into it, but I don't know who they are.
They're a minority. Overwhelmingly, people just wanted to see this to feel something.
And he makes people feel something different than any other person playing golf makes people feel. Yeah, absolutely.
So I wanted to know, because you know Tiger so well, and you've watched his whole entire career, at what point did you see old Tiger kind of flash up in Augusta on Sunday? Because I started to notice it right around the turn when it wasn't even his shots. It was this walk he does, and it's almost intimidating, I take up your space, but he not he's not pushing anyone he's not getting anyone's face but it's like francisco molinari knows that tiger is standing next to him and like you can feel it and that was like old tiger agreed it was like this zen thing like just slowing slowing your walk down just everything is purposeful and he made that insane two putt on nine nine to head to the second nine, not the back nine, the second nine, here at Augusta, within a shot of Molinari.
Now, he needs some help. He needs Molinari to make a mistake, and Molinari makes two huge ones.
He makes a double on 12 and double on 15, but Tiger just almost becoming that guy again, right? It's almost

like the guy who was sort of limping starts walking and then he kind of starts running. And then now it's like, all right, guess what? I'm going to put this cape on and I'm getting ready to fly again.
And then he did. And I completely agree that there was a definite feeling in, or I guess I should just, just his posture, like the confidence of how he

carried him. agree that there was there was a definite feeling in uh or i guess i should just just just just a

just his posture like the confidence of how he carried himself and look he's played here 86

competitive rounds so he has the experience that the guys he was going up against just don't and

he's won here four times so like at some point sunday all of the scars on his body and all the

time that's passed like that's not what counts what counts is and he used this term earlier this

Thank you. So, like, at some point Sunday, all of the scars on his body and all the time that's passed, like, that's not what counts.
What counts is, and he used this term earlier this week, like, mental Rolodex. Like, he's got it, and you don't, and he's going to call on it.
And he pulled off the shots, and, you know, he was surrounded by, like, Koepka and Johnson and all these guys, and they just, you know, he was one better than all of them in the end of it. those guys rooting for him I was wondering that because it was there was that moment when he came off after he won and everyone was kind of hugging him and those are his competitors and those are the guys that he's going up against would you did you get the sense that the majority of the field was rooting for Tiger to have this moment even though it takes money and green jackets out of their pocket I think so i mean i've never put it this way i've never seen i've never seen guys waiting eight or nine deep i mean i saw zach johnson i saw um justin thomas um baba yep uh bernard longers there are there's there's more i'm from ricky fowler was in that group uh brooks kepka they kind of flipped the script script because Tiger waited for Brooks at the PGA, and he lost by one.
This time it's Brooks that comes to find him. And even Molinari in the interview is like, hey, it's great to see Tiger playing well again.
And I'm thinking, well, yeah, cool, except if you didn't hit in the water twice, it's your jacket. That's a great spin zone by him.
He's the one guy that's going to walk away from this the most gutted because if he doesn't make a couple mistakes, then maybe it's him. Oh, I disagree.
I think he actually, he's the luckiest guy in the world because he had a kind of an all-time choke job there, but no one will remember it because it's Tiger. Well, see, that's that big-time Jay kind of stuff right there.
I hadn't even considered that. I hadn't even gone to that sort of part of the storyline.
And that actually makes a ton of sense because no one's going to be saying, hey, nice job with the water balls. They're just going to say, thanks, we got to see Tiger win.
But you're not going to see people waiting like that. Like their faces, they're like little kids.
And to a degree, this was the guy, right?

These guys are the wave of golfers that Tiger gave birth to because they're the ones that watched him be Tiger back in the day,

and now there is contemporaries, which obviously could only be in this sport.

I agree with Big Cat because you don't remember that Justin Leonard won that British Open.

You remember that Vandervelde took his shoes off and went in the water, right? If it was Tiger that won that. And you definitely don't remember that Justin Leonard won it because he didn't.
Exactly. That was a trick question.
You passed. You actually are good at this, Scott.
Good job. Who won that one? That was a different guy.
Okay, see, there you go. I don't know who won it because it wasn't tiger um how much credit are we giving to the gum chewing there's a lot of a lot of talk about the gum a lot of talk about the gum like like all the sudden all of a sudden phil and tiger show up and there's the gum and like what kind of gum are we what are we doing with the gum got to know what kind of gum that was yeah i don't know there's people are curious about the gum like i mean i don't think it was like i don't think it was a bazooka or double bubble like i didn't see it bubble blowing i don't you know i don't know a lot of people talking about phil said something about cerebral cortex or something which um i don't know what i don't buy that um but it did a lot of talk about gum and what we were doing with the gum i don't know man we're going to contribute to that narrative to that narrative.
Yeah, we're going to start podcasting by chewing gum. Absolutely.
It's great for radio. Yes, exactly.
Like a serious golf question here. What is the difference between Tiger now and Tiger 10, 12 years ago in terms of his actual game? That's interesting.
Well, he can't overpower a golf course. He was the guy that hit it eight miles before, and everybody else was just like, wow, look how far he hits it.
Today he said about Koepko, he's stronger than me. He hits it further than me.
He talked about Tony Finau, and he's like, my God, that guy hits the ball a long way. He's not the longest dude out here.
He doesn't overpower the golf course. But now, in the way a pitcher can become a guy that can get you out different ways like he's still plenty powerful he still hits it long enough um but he now he's the guy that leans on his um his experience i guess and and the the wealth of his knowledge and the fact that like he's again he's still he'll always be one of the best players in the world if he's healthy because that's just what his his profile is.
Right. But he isn't, he's not doing it simply by overpowering like a 97, like, you know, he hit it over every bunker and they changed the course largely because he was the wave of guys that could make the course obsolete.
So, um, now it's, it's a little less power and it's a little more figuring it out. But, you know, as I say, he's not like he's the shortest guy up the tee here.

It's just, to me, the experience is what really showed itself today

more than anything else.

I wanted to go back to Francesco Molinari one last time.

I actually, it was incredible watching him in this last round

because after every single shot,

like the ball would basically just barely been hit and the crowd would just go, Let's go, Tiger! and just scream above Tiger. I've never seen that at Augusta, like you said earlier.
There's always decorum, but that felt very different. Yeah, I mean, back in the day, Seve Ballesteros hit a ball in the water, and he, he was well regarded here.
He was a Masters champ, but when he hit in the water

and it benefited Jack, like, people are cheering,

you know, because Jack, same type of deal.

People act different now.

There's no other player

that you hear that.

You said it exactly right, because that's

the cheer. It's, let's go, Tom.

How many times have you heard that?

Buy a dollar for, let's go, Tom.

If you had a dollar for every one of those,

you know, you'd have a stack

of cash, and

Thank you. How many times have you heard that? Buy a dollar for a little.
Yeah. If you had a dollar for every one of those, you'd have a stack of cash.
And it never stops. And it's after every swing.
And it's interesting, man. Like, I mean, is it the redemptive story? Is that what it is? Do we love that the most? Do we love the guy that was great and then it falls apart and now we get to cheer for him again? Like, is it that? I mean, it's all those things, I guess.
But, I mean, people point to the things that went wrong. And I did an interview with a guy who was in news interview.
He was like, you know, all these scandals and this and that. And how do you think, you know, people will forgive him? Like, did you see the end? You know? Right.
Were you watching? Right. Forgive him.
Forgive him. I mean, every person here was rooting for him at at east lake they would have picked him up on their shoulders and carried into the green if they were allowed to yeah yeah yeah there's nothing no other person evokes that level of of emotional connection in this sport and like molinar is a great player but i mean he's pretty blank pretty blank right i mean he's pretty there's no sauce emotion no gravy he's got the unibrow this this sort of unibrow going that gives him a little distinct yeah i'm not i'm not gonna make grooming is not you know i'm in no position to make fun of anybody in terms of anything so i'm gonna rip the guy for that but i'm, David, I don't know that if it were, it would have been interesting had it been, I don't know, Kepka.
Or Speed, yeah. Would they have been screaming Tiger if it were Kepka? Yeah.
Probably. Like, probably.
Like, they were all cheering for Tiger at the PGA last year. And, you know, and Kepka is an American guy that's certainly, you know, lik uh all the reasons we like our our athletes big good-looking guy hits it a mile i mean people like him too but look no one was gonna no one was gonna touch tiger in terms of being the crowd favorite today nobody yeah there was one point where i think uh molinara hit it into the bunker he hit it off the tee into the bunker and the crowd cheered like at the top of their lungs They were so excited for it.
Yeah. Sorry.
You mentioned... I think it's like the shrug emoji.
I don't like him, but it's not you. It's just the other guys.
Yeah. We're rooting against you.
We're just rooting for him. We're rooting for him so hard that it seems like we're rooting against him.
Against you, yeah. Yeah, he looks scared.
I noticed it after like the fourth or fifth hole. He could just sense Tiger next to And that was the cool part, Tiger Sunday being back, where it's like that was what Tiger was in his heyday, where it was you could see the fear.
And I'm not trying to bash on the guys he was playing with, but you could see the fear in his opponents and having that come back just even a little bit. And maybe that's just me projecting because I want it to be back.
But I feel like it was there and it's like man this is the guy to go back to your point Scott I think that a big part of why everybody was rooting for Tiger was the nostalgia factor because it takes me back to you know when I was 12 years old watching him uh win that first Masters to you know when I was in my late teens early 20s watching him dominate like it's very cool to see him in just anywhere around the discussion of winning a tournament on any Sunday. It's awesome.
But at Augusta, it's like a little something special that takes me right back to where I was back then. And it's very cool to see.
The other thing that I think people are rooting for is that he's kind of come out of his shell a lot in the last few years since he's been humbled. So this is like almost a new Tiger that's very likable.
Well, the thing I talked to him about after the PGA was in St. Louis at Bellweave.
There was that bridge that went over the people on 18. And there were like 20,000 people there.
And when he walked across, he did something that he typically doesn't do. He just stopped.
It doesn't sound like much, but trust me, it's different. He stopped and he just waved to one side of the bridge and he waved to the other side and said, thank you.
And it was like for so many years, fellas, like he kept his eyes to the ground and he wouldn't let people in. And now he's way more just accepting of and thankful for this level of support and love he's got, and he's participating in it.
And so I agree that it's different, and I agree that it's nostalgia. And I think for people like you and a younger audience who grew up on him, this is their Jack in 86 moment where the guy that's in his 40s wins again, and people are moved in that way.
And again, he's the only one that can do that because he connects you to that time. And that's, again, when I was asked earlier this week by someone, why is he the guy that does that? I said, because not many athletes make us feel.
We like to watch and we like to enjoy sports because sports are fun, or at least you're supposed to be. But not a lot of people make you feel.
And a guy that takes you to a different time in your life makes you feel things, and then you can look at it differently. And so, like, look, I'm not going to lie to you.
Watching him hug his kids today, as a guy who lost his dad who now has kids and understanding the role they play in your life and being able to share your life with them, and in his case, i mean that to me is moving that and so i like to feel and that made a lot of people i think feel something that again is unique to him i don't know who else could do that he he also i mean the the the son thing watching his son walk up with that smile behind him was just like an all-time moment all--time moment. The other thing Tiger does is he transcends takes.
I was very wrong about Tiger. I said he'd never win another championship.
He'd never win another major. He'd never win another Masters.
Portnoy got ahead of it. I give him credit.
He was very proactive getting out ahead of it. Wanted to be the first to say he was wrong.
Well, he left. He left the live stream, so he kind of cowered.
Did he? Like literally as he's walking up 18th, he did a fake phone call and walked out of the live stream and just left. But I was wrong about Tiger, and that's not saying I was ever rooting against him.
I just was being honest. I did not think he'd be back in this spot.
And then I'm sitting there on Sunday, and you know how we are now. If your team can't win, you want your take to be right.
And I wanted my take to be wrong. I've been getting dragged online.
I don't care because it was that cool to watch him be back. So he transcends takes, which is very hard to do.
Very hard to do. Yeah, well, I don't know.
A lot of people said he was done, but I don't know anybody that wants. I shouldn't say I don't know anybody because there's people that are stuck.
Yeah, there are people. And that's fine.
You don't have to root for him um but i don't know who else there is in sports again that can that can connect people to um to this level of investment and and um so people like you that were saying he was done and wouldn't win again and well you weren't saying that because you wanted him to be done i think you were just it was your eyes were telling you and your brain was telling you that a guy with a fused back at this stage of the game probably won't. For the longest time, I thought he'd catch Jack and thought he'd pass him.
And then in years past, as I've been asked, do you think he'll win another major? For the longest time, I said, yeah, I did. And then in the last year or so, as he played better, I thought, well, maybe he will.
But, I mean, if you ask me to put my money on one or the other, I don't know that I'd have put money on yes, you know, or that it would happen here. Just because here, so many other guys, like we saw today, are going to have chances every year because they're able to play it so well.
But, I mean, aren't you happy or wrong? Yeah, well, you know who was very wrong? Your boy, Stanford Steve.

He bet.

We were sitting in Minnesota at the Final Four Eating Wings,

and he showed me the bet, and it was the all-time party pooper bet.

It was Tiger will not win a major this year.

I was like, why would you do that?

He's like, I don't care if I lose this.

I just think it, and I don't care if I lose it.

He actually was very honest.

He's like, I would happily lose this bet to watch him win a major so he's open about it he was emotionally hedging yeah but i was like why did you do that what was the payout on that it was it wasn't very good yeah so but yeah he so there's one person well we'll have to have i'll heckle him but you know it's like you guys know him he's he's the ultimate love he loves moments oh yeah oh yeah where where great, yeah. Where great things happen.
He loves bowling. Yes.
He loves wings. Yes.
It sounds like all it. Did you beat him in bowling? He didn't bowl.
He didn't bowl. What do you mean he didn't bowl? He just watched.
Was he like, they don't have shoes in my size? He seems like a guy who'd be afraid of the shoes. He was, I don't know.
He didn't want to get into bowling. Who the hell doesn't bowl? Listen, when Steve says he doesn't want to do something, he was a great – you know who he was? He was the glue guy that was sitting behind everyone that was talking up the party.
So it was like he would talk to everyone after they finished their frame. So you need that.
You need that. All right.
Yeah, that's fair. Also, he's a big enough guy that if he tells you he's not doing it, you're not going to make Stanford Steve slap on clown shoes to start chucking a bowling ball.
I also say this about bowling. It's one of those sports where if you're not good at it, you should just not do it because there's no upside.
There's absolutely no upside to bowling if you're bad at bowling. How sore were you the day after? Oh, my God.
I woke up at 4 in the morning, and I thought I was never going to be able to walk again. My back was on fire probably what tiger's gonna feel like tomorrow my fused back horrifying when you look the day after bowling if you if you're not a bowler stuff hurts and you're like jesus how out of shape am i like all i did was bowl a couple games yes well i i dominated but um all right so i have one last question uh it's a seekee question promo code take get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
The most important question I'm going to ask you. Is it time for Tiger to come home? I told him when he was on with me.
When was this now? It would have been two falls ago when he had the book out about the Masters, the 97 Masters. Which, by the way, if you want the audio book, I read it.
No big deal. I told him he came on.
I told him. I'm not getting nothing out of it.
I just thought it was kind of cool that he asked me to do it. When he came on the show, the last thing I said to him is, I said, when are you going to come home? And I just kept telling him I was his GPS.
And he's explained to me through the years that because of the tan line situation, that if he shaved his head, his head would be,

would look ridiculous because he would, like,

it would have just that horrible tan.

Like if you've seen Stuart Sink's head,

bald-headed when he takes his hat off, like Tiger said,

it would just be an absolute disaster.

But, I mean, like when we see young Tiger,

young 21-year-old Tiger and that sweet lettuce, and then, like it off now, and you're like, wow, man. What is going on with your wig? What are you doing? Butler Cabin.
I kind of like it, though. I hope he grows it out on the sides.
Yeah, I hope he leans into how bad the... You know what, though? They should let him keep the hat on in the Butler Cabin.
It was so rude to make him have that hat off. The customs here dictate that the hat comes off.
You see, though, like bald guys, and when I was losing it badly, if you have a hat on and you're forced to take it off, as soon as he can smack that thing back on his head, it's on the head. Like NFL quarterbacks, the minute they come off, they're sitting here, they take their helmet off, boom, hat goes on the head.
Yeah, you could say his name. His name is Blake Portles.
He's a good friend of mine. His name is Blake Portles.
No offense, Portles. He literally doesn't have, like, you can't actually see the second that his helmet comes off and hat goes off.
Of course not. That's next level.
That's next level bald guy behavior. The helmets that went from black to gold.
Yeah. So, of's of course it has to happen but i like i don't i think because of the again because of the golf can line situation that's it's he's gonna hang on with with both hands but i mean we can see like again i mean this is the end game isn't pretty but every guy has to do it in his own time did you see karon butler you probably were too busy but did you see karon butler on saturday night okay this is kind of this is a little bit of n, I mean, not name drop.
He's a peer. He's a friend.
We work together. I got a text from him today about Tiger, and all I thought of is, how do I ask him what is happening? And I couldn't do it.
I didn't know what to say. Like, how do I ask? What is that? Oh, man.
What is that? What is it? Carlos Boozer should have taught the world. Like, you can't show up, and, you know, only Urlacher was able to do it.
And he did it because it was a promo where he was like, Hey, this doctor changed my life. If you're trying to sneak one past people, like a crayon, like he got edged up and there was like some shoe polish or whatever the explanation was.
But Karan like had waves and, and what is this? It was a whole thing. Yeah.
With Urlacher, at least it it was like it was patently ridiculous because he was known for being just a bald guy right and then he just shows up with a full head you can't sneak it past people yeah you can if you do it you got to say this is what i'm doing when you try to pull one past the internet it's like people catch on pretty quick jason went and even went back yeah a heads up like a little a literal heads up right like hey listen here's what i'm gonna. Just want y'all to know this is

happening. And boom.

And then you show up. People are like, oh, wow, it looks good.

But you can't just kind of show up and say, hey,

so what's going on? Are we doing the playoffs tonight?

I hope he grows

down on the sides. What are you doing?

I think it would look amazing if Tiger grew it out on the sides.

Like really long. I'm talking like shoulder length.

Like Krusty the Clown?

Yeah. Really, really puffy? Yeah.
it'd be amazing. Imagine that.
Imagine that. I have one last question for you.
You're probably the most qualified person to answer this in the world. What do you think is Tiger's biggest victory to date? Is it this Masters or when he won 2007's Who's Now tournament on ESPN? Well, I mean, Who's Now is, I think, one of the – when you talk about the great accomplishments that have ever been in history, in recorded human history, I think, there's that.
There's the invention of the Internet. And I guess Game of Thrones, which Big Cat evidently was binge-watching and didn't tell anybody about.
Well anybody well hold on i thought we were brothers in arms on that and apparently not i've told you this story scott i'm pretty sure i've told you this story but he i don't know if i've told pft this story the first time that i ever met scott van pelt long before i was big cat was in 2007 in madison wisconsin and i think it was wandos and i was that shithead who walked up to scott and i was like hey scott who's now sucks and he was like he was like all right cool man thanks that was that was our first ever encounter was i a jerk no you were pretty good about it you were you were not a jerk about it but like i was was the asshole just coming up and being like, hey, buddy, who's now sucks? And it's like, what? It wasn't my idea. And I just say that it wasn't my favorite thing we've done.
So I guess I'll leave it at that. And also, Paul Lowry is the guy that won that year that John Vandeveld hit in the water.

And I would have said his name at the time, but I didn't remember it until literally just now.

It just dawned on me that he won.

He was definitely in that playoff, though, right?

Oh, yeah.

No, he was.

You've got a good memory for who was in the playoff, but it was a different dude that won. Okay.

All right.

That's really neither here nor there.

That's fine.

People will get freaked out if I got an obscure golf stat right on the show anyways. They'd be very off-brand for me yes it is it is it would have been but you didn't and there you go so you're right on brand perfect uh all right scott thanks uh as always great to talk and uh make sure you tell stanford steve that uh that tiger will not win a major 2019 i will i'm gonna i'm gonna immediately hack limits after i, and I want to say thanks for having me on.
It's been too long, and you should know. Still to this day, anywhere I go, it's 50-50 that the person will come up and say, hey, Scott, I enjoy your show, or hey, Scott, love you on part of my text.
Perfect. It's a 50-50 ratio, which is amazing considering that we do the show on ESPN nightly, and my visits here are fairly sporadic, but I always appreciate you reaching out and having me on.
And then what about the 5% that are like, hey, Scott, Peter North? That didn't come up much because that was pixelated out. That reaction, every time I see it, because I'm like, I remember, I just went, Jesus Christ.
And I remember they didn't make our show, which was sad because it was special, that one. Yeah, our show.
Very special. Very special.
And you know what? Since it was only one, it'll always be our show. That's true.
That's absolutely right. You were a co-host on it.
That's probably on your IMDB page right now. It's like right underneath SportsCenter.

You were on Barsel Van Tal.

It wasn't responsible for Who's Now.

Yeah, it wasn't responsible for Who's Now.

Did the audio book for Tiger.

No big deal.

Yep.

No big deal.

All right.

Thanks, Scott.

Thanks, Scott.

All right, boys.

Be well.

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Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a This League for the Philadelphia 76ers

and Amir Johnson going on his phone during the game while they're getting beaten by the Nets in game one of the playoffs, round one. And it's a this league.
This league, guys. Checking his phone during the game.
Bad visual. Perfect booties.
Actually, he did say that his daughter was sick, so it kind of made it like, oh. Can you wait for that until I get these jokes off? Yeah, we need to get a couple jokes off about the fact that NBA players check their phones on the sidelines.
So if they had the same rules as Augusta National, this never would have happened. Just confiscate all the phones before they go down there.
True, true. Could you see what site he was on? Yeah, it was Brazzers.
Brazzers, okay. He actually pays for premium membership.
You should be allowed to look at porn on the sidelines of an NBA game. If you're not in.
Get all horned up. Yeah, you get horned up.
You get that testosterone going. You got to see what Draymond said about it.
Yeah, he said, no big deal. You go on your phone at work.
True. Fact.
That is a... Checkmate.
I do. I do.
We all do. I do a lot of stuff at work that I'm not...
You don't want an NBA player doing. Yeah, it wouldn't be a great idea for Draymond Green to bring a laptop out with him to the free throw line.

Does that mean we can kick people in the nuts at work?

Yeah.

You do it at your work.

Yeah, you do it at your work, Dre.

Yeah, can you just cuss at people and call them little bitches all the time?

He started getting salary shamed after that.

They're like, yeah, but the difference is I don't get paid a million bucks a game.

Oh, so the more money you make, the less you should look at your phone yes correct actually you know what cliff kingsbury was right looks like the nfl is a step ahead of the nba allowing their players to take cell phone breaks yep so this is on the sixers coaching staff for not allowing these breaks during games it's crazy that people think that like players don't check their phones during halftime and stuff like of course they do of course Baker Mayfield probably yeah wait had they declared that they were going zero dark 30 because if they haven't declared it then I don't see a problem with it true I don't think anyone's gone zero dark 30 yeah so as far as I'm from the playoffs as far as I'm concerned it's just open season yeah I like that yeah yeah LeBron's not just he decided to go dark on the playoffs altogether. I like it.
The most zero dark 30 he's ever been. We have a who cares, it's Louisiana, it's Louisiana, who cares.
Will Wade is back. Thank God.
Just slipped it. So perfect because from the beginning of the story, who the fuck cares? And then they made a whole thing about it where they didn't have him coach in the tournament.
Then they waited for Tiger to win and Game of Thrones to come back to slowly slide it under and be like, oh yeah, he's the coach again. Dude, all he's guilty of is making a strong-ass offer.
Right. And that's fine.
Right. I mean, I respect him for saying that.
Sean Miller still has a job. Sean Miller has a job.
Rick Pitino's going to get another job if we work harder. Yeah, we are working.
So he was in Cincinnati. He was.
He was. So that was accurate.
That picture where we didn't see the guy's face. Yeah, that was Rick Pitino.
That was actually Rick Pitino, but it doesn't look like he's taking that job. Got it.
But yeah, good for LSU. Fuck it.
Who cares? Who cares? Will Wade, perfect news dump timing. The only way it would have been better is if it was right as Tiger was hitting his last putt.
Yes. That would have been pretty awesome.
Yeah, well, they probably got screwed up by the time change. Yeah, if there's anything that Louisiana knows, it's how to bury some bad news.
Yeah, just throw it out there on the biggest Sunday of the year. All right, Hot in the Streets, what do you have? You have something for us.
Yeah, so this is a new trend that I've noticed recently. Seebs? No, Seebs is still going on.
Seebs? Seebs is big. Oh, by the way, shout out to everyone who went to Coachella.
I always almost say Couchella. Yeah.
Coachella looked awesome. It looked in fuego.
Those fucking porta-potties. Your own personal fire fest.
Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah.
My Hot in the Streets is saying that you want an attractive person to kill you. That's like real hot on Twitter these days.
That's kind of bizarre. Yeah, if somebody's like really good looking, you say, oh, I want, like, name a hot person on Twitter real quick.
PFT commenter, you would say, thanks for suggesting that. Oh my God, I want PFT commenter to run me over in his car.
Probably can't reach my head though. No, but I'm in a car.
Oh. I'm in a tall car.
Oh, you're in a car. You're like a big wheel? Very tall car.
You got a tricycle? Dude, I got power wheels. You actually know how to ride a bike now? I got horses in the back, but they're all a little Sebastian.
So people are actually saying this? Yeah, it's very common. Yeah, just if you think somebody's exceptionally attractive- I don't know what part of Twitter you're on.
Say, oh man, I want this girl to shoot me in the head. It's a nice way of saying that she's so attractive that she could do whatever she wants to.
Okay. It's out there.
Trust me. It's out there.
Can I ask a question to the young bucks on this show, Bubby and Hank? Is Coachella like over? Nah. It kind of feels like it's not that cool anymore.
I think it's still going. It is? Yeah.
All right. I'm not.
This is the first year. Childish Gambino airdropped everyone that was in the crowd shoes.
I know. I saw that.
That's a pretty trendy move. This is trendy trendy.
This is a first year. Wait, what did he airdrop him? Shoes.
Everyone that was in the crowd that had their airdrop open to the public. Which is a psycho move.
Yeah. He airdropped them.
A picture of shoes. And it's like a voucher.
It's a free voucher. You get a free voucher for these shoes.
Oh, that's pretty certain. But the shoes are like white shoes that are purposely made to look shitty.
Oh, so that's such a bad gift. What did we get free shoes for again? What did we do when Erica gave us free shoes? Oh, no, no.
She gave us free shoes just as a thank you. Oh, yeah.
So I got Jordan to them. Did we do anything big? We existed for three years.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Three years.
Three years. She sent us $150.
We got some shoes. I still haven't used those.
Fuck, I need to buy some shoes. So, Bobby, you think Coachella...

That was nothing like the...

By the way.

Next year, by the way, we should...

Well, it was kind of...

No, I was very thankful for the shoes.

Next year, we're sending Liam to Coachella with a GoPro strapped to him.

Okay, I like that.

Actually, I'm going to cancel that because you were way too excited for it.

Seems like a boondoggle in the making.

Seems like you just wanted to go hang out. You failed that test.
You're such a millennial. Alright.
Let's just give it to a dog. Let's just send a dog to Coachella.
Yeah. That would actually be a great idea.
Yeah. We should do that with a GoPro on it and just see how many pets he gets.
See how many pets he gets. Boops.
We don't even need to give him food because they'll just feed him like scraps. He'll be the festival dog.
That's the future of Coachella. Eventually they're going to run out of all the hottest new musical acts and they're just going to put a dog on stage and be like, free boops.
Just the best doggo. Yeah.
That'd be awesome to see. Bringing the internet to Coachella.
To see the lineup of performing acts and it's like, Rex. Yeah.
It's Fido. Biscuits.
It's Fido with a free buffet of bacon. Wizard.
It's awesome. Yeah.
It's so cool. There's still like three more weeks of Coachella too.
Oh, so that's, okay, that's where my anxiety, because that's exactly right, Hank. This is the first year I've been like, you know what, I'm not intimidated by these young people.
Once it goes on for the third week, I'm like, wait, it's still fucking going on? Kanye Sunday service at Coachella. You'll be scared.
Okay, yeah. I will be very intimidated.
Once Cam Newton shows up to Coachella, that's when I... Yes, and a couple Jenners.
Yeah. You need at least one Jenner.
I can't keep track of all the Jenners, though. Kylie's got to come and have her new booty's got to pop in some jean shorts.
The hottest new trend. And then she burns them after everyone buys the new jean shorts.
It's like, trend over.

Was it Kylie that ended racism

when she gave that Pepsi

to the kindle?

Kindle.

That was Kindle.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

Which one you pick.

All right,

let's wrap up.

We're going to do,

instead of Monday reading

for the next few weeks,

we're going to do

Game of Thrones recap

because it's the hottest show.

Huge.

Finally.

Spoilers are going on right now,

so if you do not want

to be spoiled,

do not listen to the rest

of the show.

Well,

Thank you. Game of Thrones recap because it's the hottest show.
Huge. Finally.
Spoilers are going on right now.

So if you do not want to be spoiled, do not listen to the rest of the show.

Let's play like 30 seconds of music.

So if you're hearing music.

Or 20 seconds.

Dragon music.

Put in the dragon music.

Mixed with It's Louisiana Who Cares. As soon as the dragon music's over, we're going to do spoilers.

I have binged it all.

Some folks hate corruption. Some folks hate corruption.

Some folks hate folks for breaking the law.

Some folks have a problem.

The way we recruit basketball.

Me, I don't mind it.

Down in the bayou, all is fair.

Who cares?

It's Louisiana.

It's Louisiana.

Who cares? It's Louisiana. It's Louisiana.
Who cares? I have not said a word because I was scared it was going to get spoiled. Hank, thank you for not spoiling it.
You're welcome. I did have to.
I knew I had to because it was like silently kind of pissing me off because you told me behind the scenes that you're not watching it so I felt bad. If it was on the show, I probably would have.
Yeah. But internally, I was like, I have to do something.
I've got to find my Game of Thrones notes. The Florida Man spoilers, I did give you some spoilers.
I didn't know that. Yeah.
The crossbow on the toilet. Yep.
That was one of them. That was Peter Dinklage killed somebody, right? Oh, that was a spoiler? Yeah, big time.
Where the fuck are my Game of Thrones notes? I have a couple questions. So this is the first episode I've ever watched.
Shoot. Big Cat watched every- Well, no, that's not true.
I watched the first two episodes back in 2011, something like that. Okay.
So this is my first one. My first question is, there are tons of fires that are just burning everywhere.
Yeah. Who's in charge of switching out the firewood and the oil? There's no lights.
Yeah, there's no lights, and it's also- There's kind of like the fake birds in Augusta. There's always crackling fires as the background music.
But you never see anybody changing the fire. Yeah.
I guess that'd be a very boring part of the show to show. Well, there's some, I think I answered my question.
Yeah. All right, so Hank, I wrote notes down.
We'll do a recap of the first episode of season eight to quickly catch up. I wrote some notes down as we went along.
As I was watching them, I'll just shoot some off here. Robb Stark is my favorite.
I wrote that down, and then I just said, whoops, because that was a red wedding. So I was like, this guy's really going to win it all.
Red wedding was when that lady got stabbed in her uterus. Yeah, in her tum-tum.
They just changed that Dario guy. That fucked me up.
That was confusing for like,

I had to look that up

after I watched the show.

They like changed

a character,

the actor,

but it was a completely

different looking guy.

It was like the Aunt Viv

in Fresh Press.

But like totally

different looking.

Even that was a little bit

closer than what they

changed this one.

I was like,

who is this person?

They just never addressed

it to the person.

It was like a blonde haired

Fabio looking guy

to more of like a brown haired

like look completely different. Completely different.
Completely different. The Narcos guy was awesome.
Oberyn. Yeah.
He fucked, he was bisexual, and he was also like the best with a spear until he got too cocky. Yeah.
And then he got his eyes gouged out. It seems to me like incest shouldn't be a big deal in this show because- No, it's not.
For such like a small community of characters characters big come up for the state of alabama because it's normalized everything yeah everyone's fucking

everyone's sister it's just like whatever it shouldn't be so stigmatized it's weird because

at first when i started watching it i was like this is gross cersei and tyra uh uh jamie are

fucking all the time and then like cersei just blows them i'm like oh whatever that yeah their

boyfriend girlfriend they fucked on their son's dead like oh yeah that's right that's cool that was like that Shake That Bear video remember that one I didn't hate Joffrey that's crazy yeah he made me laugh because he was so like he was so annoying when he was like killing yeah he was so I hated Ramsay Ramsay was a psycho but Joffrey he was so hateable but in like a funny way because he was such a little twat. I just wanted to slap him.
Speaking of Oberyn, which episode ending left you the most shook? Oberyn was up there. Jon Snow dying was up there.
But then I don't know how people watch this show live because Jon Snow was dead for five hours for me. He was dead for like two years.
That was at the end of his season, right? Yes. The Hound is one of my favorites.
I also finally, the Hound was the first guy I realized, if you don't watch someone die in front of your face, they're not dead. Yep.
I was like, okay, that's how this goes. Yeah, everyone in the show is either dying or murdering somebody.
That's the best way I can describe it. Do you think he's going to fight the mountain? Yes.
I thought the mountain was dead. Who do you think is going to win? Hound.
Wait, the mountain's not dead? The mountain is dead. No, they remade him as a Frankenstein.
Oh, okay. The maester made him...
He's real fucked up. He's all purple and shit.
The Night King brings people back from the dead, and then seriously has an evil scientist. Yeah, he's the doctor.
I like the Night King. Should I root for him is he a good person he's pretty pretty badass dude he's always he's not cold right what if he just wants someone to talk to him if he talks i might imagine if it was just like someone would be like hey night king how was your day how was your wednesday he's just like thankfully someone finally asked me this i've been up in this north freezing my ass one's been talking to me.
I've been with dead people. So they're like the NFC North, right? Because they're in the cold all the time, but they pretend that they're not cold.
Yes. Yeah, the whole North.
Like the Starks, the Wildlings, the Army of the Dead, they're all basically offensive linemen on the Bears and the Packers. I love it.
And then that Dothraki guy that looks like Steven Adams, he seemed cool, but he died. Died.
Cal Drago. Big time dead.
Fuck Stannis Baratheon. That guy sucks.
I liked him a lot. Up until he...
Oh, you liked when he burned his daughter? No, up until he burned his daughter. His 12-year-old daughter? I was...
For more blood? Season 2... Oh, you liked him when he used blood magic to kill his brother? Hell yeah, that was cool.
That was badass. But he's not ruthless.
He's ruthless, but like... That's like Belichick shit.
He's got the blood magic. Rather get rid of your daughter one season too soon than one season too late.
The daughter shit was fucked up. The blood magic was amazing.
The other part about Stannis Baratheon is never... And the red moment was a smoke.
Never trust a chick who's dedicated to always wearing a choker. That's a big red flag.
She takes it off and she becomes like a 90-year-old old lady from like the woman from, it's basically Happy Gilmore's grandmother out of nowhere. She's like hot and then she takes off her choker.
Boom, she's old. I faked you out.
Yeah, I'm old. It's like the mock turtleneck for chicks, isn't it? The high sparrow dude is the worst.
The worst. That guy thinks he's so much better than everyone and he talks in likedles and rhymes.
And fuck him. I'm happy.
It's a terrible name. Okay, here's my other hot take.
I love Cersei. I love her.
When she chooses... One of the best lines when they're like, what was the question? Do you choose this or this? I choose violence.
I choose violence. And then she blows up everyone in the city.
The many-faced god is like T-1000 when she's running after Arya. That little girl.
Is that like the calculator? No, no. T-1000 is the guy from Terminator, dude.
The CIA-83. The cop that runs really fast and he just keeps running and it's like, what the fuck is going on? Hank, you're thinking of Drug Wars.
Yeah. I haven't seen Terminator.
I don't like how Ramsay Bolton treated his dogs. Didn't feed him.
That's not cool. No, he did feed them flesh.
Well, but he didn't feed them for a while. Yeah.
He would starve them and then give them humans. What's the deal with the dragon? There's one dragon that went rogue, right? Well, he died.
Oh, fuck. How did he kill a dragon? The Night King.
The Night King. Oh, he speared him.
Speared him? Okay, he threw the spear. I remember Twitter that night.
They should never have Game of Thrones on at the same time as NFL Sunday. It's too confusing with the crossover tweets.
I didn't understand why they didn't just take one of the dragons and just burn that Night King alive. I feel like the whole show could have just ended.
That episode was tough. The other thing with Ramsey that kind of pissed me off on the rewatch was that, remember when they walk in with the giant and Ramsey kills the giant? He could have just killed Jon Snow right there.
Yeah. A little bit of that every now and then.
I do love the show. My last two points.
Little finger, whisper talking. So annoying.
Fuck that. Talk with your chest.
Talk like a man. Mr.
Big Chest. Stephen A.
Smith would slap him around in a debate. Oh, I think Stephen A.
Smith would beat a dragon. Yes.
In a debate? He spits fire. Just in real life.
I think he could defeat a dragon. They said in this episode that

dragons eat whatever they want, so they have very

bad nutrition. They're like Albert Hainsworth.

They're just overweight all the time.

But dragons got a little bit of a

booty. Stephen A.
Smith might get lost.

Get lost in that sauce. Speaking of that,

are they going to have any dragon sex scenes?

That would be cool.

That would be a double whammy because it would be

dragon sex and incest because they're

related, right? Yes, they are. They have to.

They're 69ing and just

Thank you. That would be cool.
That would be a double whammy because it would be dragon sex and incest because they're related, right?

Yes, they are. They have to.

They're brother-sister.

They have to.

They're 69ing and just burning each other's genitals with their mouths.

Yes.

My last question or thing that I wanted to talk about was what's up with everyone getting their dick cut off and how do they pee?

That's a good question.

Like half the people have their dicks cut off.

And I just, I assumed for a while that they were just being castrated. Their nuts were getting cut off.
But they allude to, like, these guys are dickless. And it's like, is there just a hole that they just pee out of? And then Grey Worm had sex.
But did he? No. He scissored? Yeah.
Because he's got a hole. Yeah.
He's got no dick. But you can't get any drafts.
They have a whole army of just dickless guys. They're eunuchs, right? They're unsullied.
They're just not one dick in that entire army. I feel like your body just resorbs the urine that it can't piss out.
I want someone to answer that. Where do they pee? How do they pee? You become like Mel Kiper with you just one hole.
Pumpkin pie. Just pee and poop out of the same.
Pumpkin pie for the whole army. I got a fun tip about Mel Kuyper over the weekend.
It was from a guy that used to work in a grocery store in Mel Kuyper's town. And he said every week Mel Kuyper would come in and he'd buy 12 cans of whipped cream.
And we had no idea what the hell he was doing with all that. Pumpkin pie.
It was for all the pumpkin pie he was eating. And the whipped cream bikini that he put on his wife.
Yes. And he uses it as moose for his, too.
Yes, exactly. All right, this episode will wrap up.
I was underwhelmed. They had to bring everyone back together.
Bran is the creepiest dude in the world. He just fucking rolls around in the winter.
He's the Thread Raven. Also, Jaime Lannister seeing Bran was fucking awesome.
Yeah. He was like, uh.
So the whole, you saw episode one, how it all starts. Jaime Lannister throws Bran off the fucking tower.
Because he was fucking his sister. Because he was fucking his sister.
And that was the first time they saw each other. Oh, that's what it was.
In this first episode. And he was like, oh, fuck, that kid's still alive? That was a real creep, that kid.
Yes. He just rolls around just staring at people.
He just puts his fucking eyelids back and he just sees everything. Kind of like the fire, though.
They don't show anyone wheeling him. He just shows up.
Well, he's got hands, so he can wheel himself, right? I don't know if the wheelchairs are that. I mean, it's kind of like the fire though they don't they don't show anyone wheeling him like he just he just shows up well he's got hands so he can wheel himself right i don't know if the the wheelchairs are that i mean he's got the stairs it looks like a pretty sweet model yeah he's a weird dude he's a weird dude and then uh yes uh john snow was totally fine like he got the news that he's actually fucking his aunt and he was like i don't want to be the king it's like yeah but dude, you're fucking your aunt.
Yeah. Then you just didn't care.
Yeah. I mean,

listen, fucking his aunt and he was like I don't want to be the king. It's like yeah but dude you're fucking your aunt.
Yeah. Then he just didn't care.
Yeah. I mean listen in this day and age why would you? It's all over the front page of Pornhub anyways.
It's true. It's true.
So yeah that's Game of Thrones. Any other thoughts Hank? I love the show.
I really do. I knew I'd love it.
I'm going to be sad that it's when it's over but I'm happy that I watched it this quickly because I do not understand how people have watched a show for 10 years. I thought it was a good episode.
I was pumped to see Jon and the Dragon, although I was hoping that they were going to like, you know how there's the Targaryen music and there's the Stark music like what they play during their best moments. I was hoping they were going to blend those two for like an epic Stark-Targaryen mashup.
That would have been unreal. You're a big music guy.
That would have been cool. I do like music.
My other takeaway was that Theon, they built up this whole thing. He's got no dick.
He bitched out when... A lot of these characters are just dickless.
Yeah. No, it's like a big running theme.
I'd say half of the show is just dickless dudes. Just botched circumcisions? No.
That one was just the fucked up Ramsey Bolton guy just cut his dick off. He cut his own dick off.
He cut Theon Greyjoy's dick off, made him call him Reek, and then sent his dick back to his family. Not to mention that he had two girls come in the room and act like they're going to have a threesome with him to get him hard, and then he came in and just cut his dick off.
Yeah, I was going to say, cutting off a flaccid penis would be a lot more difficult. It's tricky.
You have to, yeah. It's almost like a mind game in order to cut somebody's dick off.
You have to get them horny first. But I thought it was kind of bullshit how they built up this whole redemption story.
He bitched out five times. He's finally going to save Yara.
I figured there was going to be a whole battle, like an epic thing, and he just showed up and was like, all right, let's go. Let's go, you're free.
My question, Jon Snow got on that dragon. That was pretty cool.
Yeah, that... He should have...
But I should have realized that he was a Targaryen the minute he gets on a dragon. The dragon rides with him.
That's like a big thing in the books and stuff. Like, you have to, like...
It's kind of like Avatar. Like, you only have one dragon.
Like, you gotta, like... You gotta become the dragon rider.
And he was just like... She was like, oh, if you can get on, get on.
Like the sword and the stone. If you can pull this sword out of a rock and cut the dragon's penis off, then you become one of them.

So that was our Game of Thrones recap.

Probably the most basic.

You got any takes or predictions?

Everyone keeps saying hot pie.

What the fuck is with hot pie?

He's a fat little shit that makes pies.

That's like an internet thing.

Oh, okay.

I just want to say I miss Hodor.

Yeah, Hodor.

He was cool.

Hodor.

I think Samuel Tarly is going to win the throne And the whole They're going to do a 10 year show where it's like Hey at the end of the day nerds win And then Ravel is going to be like see this is why Getting anchovies on my pizza in college Wasn't that bad Wait what's the name of the kid in the wheelchair Bran I think Bran is Bran's going to win the throne. He doesn't want, he's not a human anymore, though.

He's a three-eyed raven.

He'll fucking tell everyone about it.

People think Bran is the night king.

Just talk to Bran once, and he'll fucking let you know he went to Harvard, and he's a three-eyed raven.

So annoying.

Okay, I could see that as a plot twist.

I don't know what that means.

Yeah, he's like, you're a man now.

Not really.

What?

Shut up, dude.

I don't even know what that means.

He says almost.

That means he's got to, that was some prophecy shit. Like, he knows he's going to do something, because he's like, you're a man now.
He's like, almost. That means he's got to do something.
He's got to do something. So he's just got to tip over his wheelchair and beat the army of the dead.
You know what would be such a good troll is if the very last episode, they brought in an actual person from modern day, like a celebrity, like a guest star, and they said, okay, Hillary Clinton wins the throne. Yeah, there she is.
I'm with her. I'm still with her.
Or then, or. So she persisted.
Or the, like, the last scene is the Iron Throne and Don't Stop Believin' is played and then it just fades to black. Oh, that'd be another good one, yeah.
Just a little crossover. All right, so yeah, that was probably the dumbest Game of Thrones recap, but also probably the most relatable maybe because we really don't, like, we just like it.
I don't really know. Do you dive into the theories and shit oh yeah oh i'm never gonna do that i'm more of a i read one of the books i like to watch what what you what one of the books when after i finished there's a book about you all of it yeah you how many pages probably 300 when like right after watching, probably a month ago.

I love how Hank's squirreling away books, like hiding his reading habit from us. That's way bigger of a story than me watching 77 hours of TV.

You read a book?

Yeah.

Did you have to hide it from people?

No, I just didn't say it until now.

I never saw you with this book.

It's at my apartment.

You never brought it in?

You never read it on the train?

Of course not, because he was ashamed of having a book.

Damn.

Did you read it the right way?

Yes.

From front to back?

Yes.

You know what?

Left to right?

That whole thing?

I'm going to Wikipedia

Game of Thrones.

I'm going to one-up you, Hank.

Yeah, I mean, that's...

I don't know.

Who do you think is going to win?

I love Cersei.

She's the baddest bitch alive.

She just kills everyone.

She fucks her brother.

Then she's going to kill her brother.

She's going to kill both her brothers.

And I don't know.

As soon as you get to a certain point

where it's like,

Oh, this is... bitch alive she just kills everyone she fucks her brother then she's gonna kill her brother she can kill both her brothers and uh i don't know just as soon as you get to a certain point where it's like oh this bitch doesn't care i fucking love her i like darnarius yeah or khaleesi if you're of a dothraki i am of a dothraki and we speak the tongue to hey listen if you're listening to this still now uh the gold episode we talked to the guy who created Dothraki and High

Valerian

pretty badass

pretty badass

alright

that's our show

we got a Hall of

Famer coming up

yep on Wednesday

Hall of Famer

future Hall of Famer

future Hall of Famer

love you guys We'll be right back. I'm coming for your love.
Take me out. Thank you.
I'll be gone I'll be gone Things that I say A little I'll Just to blame my birth You're all the things I've got to remember Finally See you next week. Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off I'll be your.
Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.