Jersey Shore’s Vinny and DJ Pauly D, NBA/NHL Playoffs And The Masters

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we've got the boys from Jersey Shore, Vinny, and DJ Paul E.D. They got a new show, Two Shot, Second Shot of Love.
Double Shot. Double Shot of Love, I paid attention.
No, that was actually very funny. We actually taught them something.
The guys that know it all who have been, I think in Vinny's words, said that they've been just like hooking up with girls left and right for the last decade. We taught them what soaking is.
So double shot of love. We also talked to them about the fact that their friend, the situation, is in jail with Billy McFarlane.
It's going to be the greatest duo this world has ever seen. NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup playoffs.
We have a new segment. It's probably a topic, right? Fire Fest of the Week and FAQs.
I don't even know the difference between a segment and a topic at this point. Yeah.
Dealers' choice. It all blends together.
It's all one song. Before we get to all of that, it's the Cash App, and it's the Cash Card from the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store.
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We're going to rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're going to rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's part of my take, presented by Bar School Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash cash app our new presenting sponsor.
Today is friday april 12th. Hello friends.
I'm getting there. When you masturbate think about my tongue or your clit and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue.
I don't know, Jim. I don't know about that, Jim.
It's the Masters, baby. That's how I feel watching the Masters because I know that people, true golf fans are going to say that we're Johnny Come Lately with golf.
That's fine. I fucking love the Masters.
I don't care. I really don't care.
I love the Masters. I love the song.
I love the Tigers in there. Tigers competing.
He's minus two, three? Minus two. See how much we watch the Masters? Brooks Kipka has made a little run on the back nine.
I think he's in the lead right now as of the time we're recording this. I think he's minus six.
Minus six is a fair score. The greens are drier than Drew West.
That's the problem. Did the wind die down? You always got to worry about the guys who tee off early and then late.
Extremely fortunate tee time. So, Hank, I will give you one mulligan.
That's golf speak for those who don't know. I will give you one mulligan.
Why don't they have mulligans in the PGA Tour? It would be badass. It would be so awesome.
John Daly would be the best golfer in the world if you had mulligans. But if you got to the 18th hole and it's like, but he still got his mulligan, that would be sick.
I will give you one mulligan to retract your statement from Wednesday that you don't love the Masters, the music, the pageantry. The course.
Augusta, Amen Corner, the little bridge that goes over that little thing. The azalea bushes.
The azaleas. Which are in full bloom.
The wood chips. Yeah, the pine straw that's perfectly manicured so there's not a single straw on the fairway.
The green and the yellow. I like all those things.
Pimento cheese sandwiches. They're very nice.
Yes, that are very cheap. Yes, very cheap.
It's a very nice weekend. No cell phones.
No cell phones. Love is something I take very seriously.
I don't just throw the L word around. And for something that, you know, I might watch it on Saturday.
I will watch it on Sunday, but I don't know that that's really enough for me to be like, I love this thing. You will watch it on Sunday.
I will definitely watch it on Sunday. But if there's like a good playoff game on Saturday versus the Masters, I'm going to watch the playoff game.
And then Sunday I'll watch the Masters. About the Masters on Sunday, it's not like a, it's not a party atmosphere.
Everybody watches the Masters by themselves,

maybe with their dad,

maybe with a roommate or something like that,

but it is the one day a year

where you can take part

in the biggest sporting event

of that sport of the year

and just sit there and chill,

fall asleep, take a nap.

Wake up.

It's the biggest Sieb's Day of the year.

Yeah, wake up, fall asleep.

You're going to keep pushing that?

Yeah.

Okay.

It's the biggest Sieb's Day of the year.

Yeah, it's Sieb's.

I'm in.

I'm in.

I'm not pushing it.

Well, Sieb's.

It exists whether or not you like it or not. You can be Seebs as the only person not doing Seebs.
Not Seebs, yeah. Is it a verb or noun? So it stands for CBF originally, which, well, it starts as acronym.
It's not even close to Seebs. It starts as can't be fucked, then it was shortened to CBF, then it was short to CB, and now it's seebs.

Got it. That's the etymology of the phrase seebs.
And then the next phase is just not saying it. It's just...
Yeah. Hey, what are you doing this weekend? It dies with a whisper, not a bang.
No, I'm excited for the Masters. If you're not excited for the Masters, I don't trust you as a sports fan.
Honestly. Like I know there's always it's whenever there is an event that is not one of the main force sports everyone there'll be the hardcore people who'll be like how could you you you know you're just showing up for this you won't care about the shell open next week you know what i probably won't i will watch a golf match uh in the middle of july or august if it's compelling on a sund afternoon.
But for the most part, I'm a four majors guy.

Maybe a sprinkle in a couple here.

Ryder Cup too.

Ryder Cup for sure.

But the Masters is great.

The Masters is also, I feel like, the official gateway to the official spring.

You know what I mean?

You get that taste of spring, March Madness, St. Patrick's Day.

But once Masters starts, you're like, let's go.

It is about to be spring into summer. I agree.
And you've got so many good storylines. You've got Tiger making a run.
You've got Brooks Dominant. You've got Phil Lefty just being lefty.
You've got Bubba Watson looking like a shell of himself. You've got Dustin Johnson wearing those pants that you can always see his dick in.
That's a big thing. Phil had a $100 bill just sticking out of his pocket when he was at the practice round he's like come and take it fuckers yeah he's just ready to gamble yeah you've got sergio garcia trying to battle those demons to see if he can win his first major sergio garcia fercio garcia sercio i love sergio we were talking about this earlier but we were trying to watch we were live streaming the masters our whole office was and we don't really have great internet to begin with, but when everybody is trying to stream it at the same time, it just buffers.
And seeing golf as people are buffering on the screen, it's very difficult to tell whether or not you're back watching it live because they just stand over their putts for a while. Yeah, I watched 15 seconds of the screen crashing, but being like, oh, he's really taking his time here on this putt.
Yeah, and when it's Sergio, it's impossible to tell because he can stay over the ball. Sergio was born with like a birthmark of the buffering wheel that you get on like an apple.
It's always broken. Always broken.
Sergio is constantly buffering. All right, so we have Masters.
We have NBA playoffs starting on Saturday. We have the NHL playoffs started last night.
Exciting games. That's another one where it's like if you don't get your blood going for any playoffs, but especially Stanley Cup playoffs where it's like I don't care if you – I mean the Blackhawks aren't in it.
I watched all the games last night because it's always exciting. And you got your caps coming up.
Yeah. So we don't know if they won or not't know they're playing later on tonight i'm assuming they're going to win it's caps canes sounds like a burlington coat factory not a playoff series i'm very confident i'm thinking like caps in five whoa caps in five that's what i'm going well it's getting dangerous because of how confident i feel yeah last year i was always saying not worried.
I'm not worried even when we were down 2-0. And you were very worried.
And I was very worried secretly. This year, not worried at all, but I actually mean it this time.
I'm actually not worried. And that scares me.
Because you don't care if they win or not. It scares me.
No, I very much care. Because you already won one.
No, Eric won last year. That was for my brother.
That was for him. This one's for me.
Got it. One of the funnier storylines, I think, in sports, period, is the fact that the Islanders are playing their first round at the Long Island Coliseum, which is like literally a barn.
Nassau Coliseum. Whatever.
Well, don't disrespect the old barn. Yeah, sorry.
Well, Coliseum. The Collie.
It's like 15,000 people. It's absolutely crazy.
The game last night was insane. No luxury suites.
It's like an old school, one of the last old school stadiums, I feel like.

Barn.

Just absolute mayhem.

If they beat the Penguins, their second in every round going forward is going to be at the Barclays Center.

They're playing a little home-and-home with themselves as they advance.

The Barclays Center is not a great place to watch hockey.

Can I just say, though?

It doesn't embody Long Island whatsoever.

No, it's Brooklyn.

It's going to be a totally different audience for that. I love hockey teams that wear the color combo of blue and orange.
That pops. If it's the Oilers or if it's the Islanders, that looks good on the ice in April.
Yes, it absolutely does. So we have the Stanley Cup playoffs.
We'll probably get our guys Ryan Whitney or Biz Nasty on in the next week or so. NBA playoffs.
Real quick, I want to jump back to the Caps-Canes series just for one second. Oh, yeah.
The Canes, their hashtag, it's hashtag take warning. Go Canes.
No, it's take warning. That's pretty badass, right? It is pretty badass.
I kind of want to hijack it because I feel like it's more for our use than it is for theirs. Take warning, yeah.

What is the background of that?

I have no idea.

Hurricane.

Yeah.

Take warning?

Like take a warning of the hurricanes coming.

Take a warning for the hurricanes.

Got it.

So honestly, they squatted on a hashtag hoping that we would come take it from him.

So guess what?

It worked.

We're taking it from him.

Yeah, take warning.

The other thing is I've got a little bet going on with Will Brinson on this. If the Caps win, then he has to shave Prisco's back.
Ugh. Yeah.
And if the Caves win, I have to shave his back. Ugh.
Yeah. Okay, that's the last we need to hear about that.
Very high stakes. That's gross.
Does Prisco know? No. Okay.
Ugh. Will doesn't technically know, but he did fave the tweet.
Wait, so actually the bet is you have to wrestle a hairy bear to the ground and then shave his back. I'm pretty sure Prisco would be pretty docile because he doesn't get a lot of people that say, hey, Pete, can I shave your back? I don't know.
He feels like a guy who will fight to the death. Okay.
And then you're like, no, dude, I just actually just want to shave your back real quick. We'll do it as a trick.
We'll just say shave his shoulders and we'll just hug him. And when we hug him, just give him a little zzzz on his shoulder.
Okay. So, Joey, Wilburnson did not agree to this.
He knows of the bet and he liked the tweet. He acknowledged the bet.
So, yeah. Got it.
Running with it. Okay.
NBA playoffs. Hank, I want to start with you.
Marcus Smart out. I'm worried.
You are? Officially, yeah. Panic button pressed? Kind of, yeah.
Okay. I mean, it's like, you would say he's the heart and soul of the team.
Okay. They're already kind of on a rocky road going into it.
Like, the East is much more stacked than they have been in the past, and to lose such an important player, like, the game or two games before the playoffs, it's tough to not – you know, I can't lie. The panic button is pressed.
If they make it past like the second round, I would be surprised. You're getting a very important cheerleader in LeBron though, rooting on baby bro.
No, LeBron's too busy getting in front of all of Dwayne Wade's moments as he retires from the NBA. You see that little smirk? Yeah.
That's so funny. And how about Mello trying to jack up a shot? God damn it, I wish he took that shot.
Also, trading the jersey. We should just start trading jersey.
I was going to say this last night. I forgot to.
We should just start trading shirts with guests when they come in. That's not a bad idea.
Just take your shirts off and do jersey swaps. Most of the guests are a lot richer than us, so we can get some really expensive gear.
But how are you going to hit he jersey swapped with Carmelo. Carmelo was just sitting in the stands.
Yes. So he just got his hoodie? They did it after the game.
Which one? USA? Photo, no. It was just Dwayne Wade.
Like, it was a jersey swap with one jersey. Whoa, so Dwayne didn't get anything back.
No. He should have taken the hoodie off.
They also – the headline on ESPN was Banana Boat Crew goes to Dwayne Wade's last game. I love that.
That's just it forever. The whole squad was there.
That's the hardest crew in the world, the banana boat crew. Hank, did you see what Kyrie said? He apologized for his behavior this year.
I did not see that. He took ownership of it.
He says there are things that we could handle differently. I'm speaking about myself mostly.
It's the royal we. Yeah.
That's good. I still think he's going to go off.
I think they're going to have a good playoff run.

Oh, he'll go off.

Without Marcus Smart, it's like,

it's one of those things where every playoff team needs that guy

that's like, gets people going and gets the team going.

Gets in an unreasonable fight.

Yeah.

You're right.

Tom Wilson.

Tom Wilson.

He is the Tom Wilson if Marcus Smart was a little bit better offensively.

And maybe punch some people when they weren't looking.

No, Tom doesn't punch one.

He's clumsy.

All right.

So the other NBA playoff series, anything we are excited for?

I'm going to see how J-Butt meshes with the Sixers going to Brooklyn, which is going to be another hilarious crowd. That's going to be 50% Philly fans, if not more.
I've never been to a Nets game that people were at that paid for tickets. Like, it's all just people that got given free tickets.
I've only gone to Nets games for free. I also am excited for, this is going to sound very random, but two games that are going to be played in Orlando.
I don't know. It's just kind of cool.
It's like back to like the 90s. Give them a little treat.
Yeah, they haven't been playing basketball in a while. They just lost their native son, Blake Bortles.
They're hurting. They need to heal.
The Amway Center, whatever the fuck it's called. The Great Pyramid.
Yeah, it's going to be great. They'll show Disney.
It'll be like 2 o'clock on a Sunday, and then the Raptors will be up 25 to 6 after the first quarter. You know what's going to happen? Oh, there goes the part of my take sign.
That's a bad sign. We should have talked about take warning.
The only time we've ever talked about the magic and something fell off the wall. Take warning.
You know what's going to be fucking funny? Take warning. Yeah, it was.
It was. When they show a picture of Epcot Center, like a little bit of B-roll, I'm going to see it and I'm going to be like, that's a golf ball and I'm going to switch over to the Masters.
It's going to remind America, hey, you should be watching Augusta. The Magic games won't be until next week, but get excited.
Oh, okay. They start in Toronto.
Okay. Yeah.
Shit.

But get excited.

I'm going to flip it to the golf channel.

DVR the Masters, so when the Magic do play, you can flip over to the Masters.

I probably will do that. That's good.

Another take warning people can get their takes, you know, they can get prepared for

is the people that say the NHL playoffs are so much better because the first round is way

better than the NBA first round.

Yes.

The NBA first round.

It catches up, but.

The NBA needs to go back to five games. Five games, and you have everyone excited, because five games, not only does it not last two full weeks, but five games, you can have an upset that you don't see coming.
Five games needs to be back. They'll never do it, because they want money, and they want to have more games for more TV rights, all that shit.
But I really miss the five games. The only downside to NHL playoffs and how they get started so early in the seven games is you have to – so they are awesome games, but they sometimes last until like 1.30, 2 a.m.
if it goes through a couple overtimes. That is tough.
That's tough unless you're on the West Coast. That's the one time a year where being a West Coast sports fan is superior to being an East Coast sports fan.

Yes, agreed.

The drunk hockey after the second overtime is always the best.

When it's just guys falling all over themselves and hoping a puck goes in.

I actually think that watching playoff hockey is more of a sport than playing playoff hockey.

I'd agree.

Gets that heart rate going higher, for sure.

The defibrillator.

Out West, I think the Warriors are going to win the NBA title.

Okay, that is a fucking take.

Watch out, guys.

Take warning.

Watch out.

I don't know. Start rate going higher, for sure.
The defibrillator. Out west, I think the Warriors are going to win the NBA title.
Okay, that is a fucking take. Watch out, guys.
Take warning. Watch out.
I fucking, oh, man. I wish someone would beat them because that's what really kind of dampens the...
Well, you think someone... I mean, Houston could.
Houston could. Houston has to play the...
Houston could. Giannis is a freak.
Oh, so now we're talking about finals? Kyrie. Okay.
I'm hoping.

I would love to see it.

Marcus Smart, if they make it to the third round, Marcus Smart will come back. The Clippers are going to annoy them in the first round.
They're not going to win. They might not even win a game, but the Clippers are like the all-hustle team.
That's good. They shouldn't be in the playoffs.
If you take one game off Golden State in the first round, that qualifies as making some noise. Yes.
You've officially made noise. Yes.
We also have, I actually am very excited

for the Rockets versus the Jazz

and also the Blazers versus the Thunder.

The West is going to be fun in the first round.

Those are some good matchups.

And it will be so perfect.

Shout out to all of our fans in Denver.

I know you're excited about the Nuggets.

It's been an unbelievable season.

But wouldn't it be so Spurs

to beat the Nuggets as a seventh seed and just be like, oh yeah, they're the fucking. Yep.
Of course they do this. Pop's got a little magic left.
Of course they do this. Who do you guys have winning the NBA title? The Magic? I've got – I think I'm going to go with the Warriors.
Okay. All right.
I'm going to go with the Warriors as well. Although I guarantee you we get some serious fireworks if the Warriors lose in the second or third round.

And then KD just immediately says, I'm not coming back.

I'm out.

I'm out.

And let's just set the table here.

If the Warriors do lose, Steph's ankle injury was way worse than we thought.

Yep.

Way worse.

Like, barely could walk.

I just forgot about his ankle injury.

That's going to be a factor.

Hey, I promise you, this is my promise to you, as soon as he has a bad shooting game, I will remind you of his ankle injury Because that is my duty as a journalist Can I pick the field? Oh, what would you like to bet? Did you see someone tweeted that if Tiger wins, you should get a Tiger? I did see that What are your thoughts on that? I thought it was an unoriginal, not really funny tweet I guess you're not not into fun. Okay, Hank, you take the field and you win,

then you have to shave Prisco's back for me.

Yeah.

No, you have to hold Prisco down.

You have to wrestle Prisco while I run a dry razor on his back.

And if I win, then you both have to shave Prisco's back together.

Prisco's back is just going to become the ultimate jackpot for this podcast.

Yeah, no, what should we make the stakes?

For real. You want wanna shave your beard I'm down to do whatever you It's really what you guys Like you don't like to make bets You just like to like Oh I'm gonna make you do something That's true Whatever you guys are ready to risk Like I'll risk it for the biscuit Okay you have to go camping for three nights in a row.
In New York. Bubba's like, what the fuck is going on? Can I just set up a tent in my living room? No, you have to go camping.
Let's just say this. We will figure out the stakes on Sunday night.
When we tape Sunday night's show, we will present the stakes for the PFT and Big Cat versus Hank bet Warriors in the field. Okay? All right.
You sure you don't want to get a cat? No. Okay, we've already been down that road.
Yeah. I would love to go back down that road.
That ship is sealed. Maybe, what about a slug farm? I mean, now we're talking back and forth, so I'm more open, too.
Yeah, that's true. You have to risk getting a cat.
A ferret. Maybe it's worth it.
We'll talk on Sunday. A gerbil.
Two gerbils. Everything that you're saying, you're also putting up for yourself.
No. Oh, it's a cat versus cat.
We call that scissoring. If you get a gerbil, we have to say sorry.
No. Okay.
We'll talk about it after. We almost had him on that one.
That is the, so let's do our new segment. Oh, before we do that, I think we need to, as a podcast, do a better job of trying to get Rick Pitino a job.
We have to do a better job of getting Rick Pitino a job. Now, a little birdie told Leroy earlier today that Rick Pitino was spotted at a cafe in Cincinnati wearing a Cincinnati Bearcats polo shirt.
Really? They sent me the picture as well. Is this the same birdie that confirmed he was going to Alabama? This is a different birdie.
Oh. Different birdie, Hank.
Is that tweet still up? That tweet, I don't know. I forget what happened to that tweet.
But I saw the picture. It certainly looked a lot like Rick Pitino.
Can I see it? Yeah. Let me see this picture.
Okay. It's a bald guy with a...
It's actually huggy. You can only see him from like the mouth down.
And he's not coming, so inconclusive. It's going to be very hard to tell.
Inconclusive. But seriously, we need to get him a job.
His St. John's job.
And this is definitely how Rick Pitino would sit. Very cross-legged.
No socks in his leather shoes. Looks like Rick to me.
I mean, this picture is just... No idea who this could be.
Could be Rick. But we'll go with Rick.
Just admit the fact that it could be Rick Pitino. It's funny, too, because the person sent you being like, just saw Rick Pitino, but I happened to not get a picture of his face.
Well, just so you know, this was sent to Leroy, not to me. That's true.
But we need to. We need to do a better job of getting Rick Pitino a job.
So I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what we can do.
We have to brainstorm something. But we need to put it on our shoulders to get Rick Pitino a job.
So let's just start throwing out rumors. He's going to be the next St.
John's coach, maybe Cincy. Tried Alabama.
That didn't work. Where else is there a head coaching vacancy? Wisconsin reciprocity.
I'd fucking take him in a second. Are you kidding me? It's like them and Minnesota.
What if he took Minnesota from his son? Shakespearean. That's what I'm saying.
Wisconsin is basically taking Minnesota. Right.
That's true. It's basically the same job.
Yeah. I think that would make my life so much better if Rick Pitino was the I mean We would win the national title Yeah Anywhere in the Big Ten would be great for you Yeah It would be gone in like two seconds but we would win it Something tells me Rick isn't a Madison kind of guy I don't know He could throw back some drinks He would be in and out of that place Have a good time you know the capital is very phallic that's he just takes one look at it uh it's a big chode yeah lit up every night he loves the look of melted cheese curds yes exactly uh all right let's do it so we have a new segment or topic whatever the fuck we want to call it we're gonna do it every friday till it runs its course and we want people to get involved if you want to tweet it or email us we're going fire fest of the week so pft why don't you start fire your fire okay your own personal fire fest of the week so everything that goes wrong now in america is called this is the next fire fest yes all right so my personal fire fest of the week is i can't say claws up anymore so it was it was a hot saying for the three day or the two days that we had it.
Oh, it was hot. I actually did a gif.
Did you? The Garfield gif. Oh, yeah, that's right.
I felt really good about it. A shitload of people were getting into it.
I just said it off the top of my head, and people were like, yeah, let's do it. Claws Up for the Caps in the playoffs because I'm on a diet cutting down on the carbs.
Record scratch, narrator voice. Turns out they sold a sponsorship to a company that's a direct competitor of White Claw.
And by they, I mean... Bleep out that name.
Barstool Sports. Yes.
Yeah. So, yeah.
Not allowed to say it anymore, which is a total bummer because it was going places. Put your claws down, folks.
Claws down. Put your claws back in their box.
Back in the box. We'll bring them out later.
I'm just going hashtag blank instead of hashtag claws up. It's got a nice ring to it.
Big fire fest. Hashtag nothing.
Blank. Just no letters.
Hashtag take warning. Hashtag take warning instead of hashtag claws up.
We'll know what it means. Confuse the hell out of the Carolina Hurricanes.
We could easily dominate the Carolina Hurricanes social media. Yeah, just make sure that they're all very pro-Capital statements, just that they're like, what the hell is going on here? We should do like take warning one or something.
Like add something on it so everyone knows that it's the real take warning, right? Take warning. Take.
Capital W. I was just going to say that, but I think that that is the same thing.

Fake warning.

Take warming.

Take warming.

For hot takes?

Yes.

Okay, take warming.

Yeah.

So that's the hashtag for the capitals.

Take warming.

Take warming, yep.

Okay.

Not as good as fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah, don't.

Put that box.

Nope, I see what you're doing right now.

What about? Nope, put that box underneath your bed. The claws are gone.
What about Yeah, don't. Put that box.
I see what you're doing right now. What about?

Nope, put that box underneath your bed.

The claws are gone.

What about claws down?

Nope.

I don't think we can do that either.

All right, Hank, what do you got?

Your personal Fyre Fest.

Well, my personal Fyre Fest is kind of this segment because I have a Fyre Fest within this Fyre Fest, but I can't talk about it.

So that makes it my Fyre Fest.

Okay.

That was a very good podcast. That was a good Fyre Fest.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll explain it Sunday.
Yeah, we're going to explain it Sunday. I'm a bit of talking about it.
That's your Fyre Fest. The Fyre Fest segment is my Fyre Fest.
Because you can't think of one. It's very meta.
No, because I can't publicly say what my Fyre Fest is. You have a really good one.
Yeah. You have an awesome girlfriend, but she lives in canada yeah pretty much okay got it situation got it yeah all right my personal fire fest is uh i got a buddy very good friend of mine who uh is going to get a vasectomy for master's weekend and that's the official sign that i'm way too old that's a real big fire fest yeah he's got three kids so it's like and he planned it for master's weekend so fuck well i mean fire Fest.
Yeah. He's got three kids, and he planned it for Masters weekend.
So, fuck. Well, I mean- It's a fire fest.
At least he's being proactive. Yes, that's true.
But it's a fire fest. It is a big fire fest.
That's one of those ones where you're just like, damn. Okay.
This is happening. Life has passed us by.
Does he know about pulling out? Well, he's got three kids, so maybe not. Yeah, probably not.
Yeah, probably not. It'll be interesting what happens with the text chain tomorrow after this segment airs.
Okay. Let's get to our interview.
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Okay, here they are, Vinny and Pauly D. Okay, we now welcome on two guests.
It is DJ Pauly D and Vinny from the Jersey Shore. They have a new show out, Double Shot of Love.
You guys actually going to find love? We can't tell you. Got to watch.
Got to watch. What do you mean? We're in lockdown right now.
After the show. Like Bachelor style.
We filmed it already. Okay, let me when you went into the show were you like i'm about to find love we were open to it i mean you know we did the whole like random smashing on jersey shore for 10 years so we were definitely open to like something different for this yeah meaning like less random 20 girls in one house smashing yeah it's not as uh great as as it seems.
I know. Try dating one woman, let alone 20 at the same time.
It's not that glamorous. How would you compare this show to The Bachelor? It's like a ratchet informal version of The Bachelor.
Yeah, I'm a big ratchet guy. So what do you guys give to him instead of roses to move on to the next round? Oh, you know, cab ceremony.
Cab ceremony. That's when I leave.
Do you have to change that because Uber is more popular than cabs now? Do you have to say Uber's here? It doesn't sound the same. I tried it.
It doesn't sound right. Give it to us.
Yeah, it's like cabs here. Uber's here doesn't sound right.
Uber's here. Yeah, cabs here is better.
That's just a trademark too. You can't say it on TV.
Okay, we'll bleep that out. We can say it now.
Maybe you get a little something in the back pocket. Let me just say, you guys are so swaggy coming here.
The way you're rocking the headphones right off the bat, that's to protect the coif, right? You already know. Yeah, and then the chains around the neck.
I think those are bigger chains than Corderell Patterson had on. I think that's a new record for part of my team.
How much is the total for those chains? I lost count. I'm bad at math.
That's a big-ass chain. Why don't you wear chains, bigger chains? I wear chains.
Yeah, I mean, that's like a little baby chain versus paulie's chain i wouldn't i would be walking with a hunchback if i wore those i'm like 155 so what happens when you got you guys are best friends what happens on the show when you both have your eye on on one girl we physically fight tag team physically fight okay who wins each other where we're talking about a fighter yeah um no we that happens like because we're all anyone's up for grabs like we can date any of the girls and they can date both of us but we're so close like we never have tension with each other the tensions with the girls they fight yeah okay you guys ever think about being mormons and you can just marry all the girls at once i've thought about it okay good idea some soaking You ever heard of, you know what soaking is? They can't drink, though. R.
Kelly shit? No, that's not. Soaking is when Mormons, they put the penis in the vagina and they just rest.
So it's called what? Soaking. You just lay your dick in there.
You have to throw a hole in the sheet. I think I've done that.
He plays that game with just the tip. Yeah.
You soak, right? Yeah, I soak. I'm tired.
I'm like, let's just hang out. Yeah, let's just soak.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
I feel like I get my heart rate up. Hey, what does your mom think about this show? About soaking? Yeah.
Well, ask her that next time you see her. Because your mom obviously is part of Jersey Shore.
We're Italian boys, and no one can ever be good enough for our mom Right So I think she just Takes everyone like a joke Well it's fair That no one can be good enough Because if you find love They're moving into Your mom's house right Isn't that how They tell you No no no Still lives with his mother Yeah exactly Right It's like a roommate She just doesn't want A new roommate Yeah she'll always be In my house Well what happened was I bought a house You know Cause we made a lot of money on reality shows. Which is pretty sick.
We bought the house next door. So I bought the house and I got my mom the mother-in-law suite downstairs.
So that's how I lived with her. But then I graduated and I bought her her own house.
So now I have my own and she has her own. Are they next to each other? No, they're like 15 minutes apart.
That's a far way for her. Not too far, yeah.
Was she upset about that? She still does the laundry. Okay, nice.
I drop the laundry off and then she brings it back to me. Vinny don't live with his mama no more.
That's huge, man. He yells that shit to my neighbors.
I mean, that's huge. So you guys are living in a house with 20 women? Is that what the premise of the show is? Yes.
Now, do you have to use pickup lines on them? Because you guys had some pretty good ones on the Jersey Shore. Did you have to use pickup lines on the women, or did they come to you with the real aggressive stuff? Well, the crazy part is that they didn't know what celebrities they were dating.
Oh, that's quite a surprise. Exactly.
So I was like, yo, are they going to know who the fuck I am? Who'd they think? They thought it was Post Malone. Post Malone.
You guys are an upgrade. Zac Efron.
That's a downgrade. Zac Efron, definitely a little bit higher there.
What level of celebrity do you guys think you are now? People ask us and we're like, D. D minus.
You're a D? D minus, I'd say. Okay, okay.
I would say I'm a C. C? That's not bad.
What about you, Paulie? Is he a little higher with the DJ stuff? Nah, he's a little higher. Yeah, he's like a B.
B plus. I live with that.
That's good. A is like Brad Pitt.
Yeah, A is like you're not doing an interview with us. Right.
Paulie's like next in line for Jennifer Aniston then. Yeah.
Yeah, right. You're right there, man.
That's actually huge. All right, so Jersey Shore, you guys are still filming that as well, right? Yes.
The Union? And I was reading about it. Basically, everyone is doing Ronnie's in rehab.
I read that one sentence. Ronnie's in rehab.
Mike's in prison. Mike's in prison.
Jenny's divorce. This is like a bad country song.
Isn't it crazy? What the fuck? And you can't write this shit. There's no script to that.
People fake that content. This is our real life.
Do you think any of that, like, you know, obviously those are, some of those things haven't gone well for those guys. You think it has to do with, like, the celebrity and being on a reality show? Maybe it had to do with that path in life.
Yeah, I guess. You know, and, you know, people had, like, Mike had a substance issue.
And, you know, having money and unlimited funds, and you can get that anywhere you want, probably. Add added to that.
So how did you guys turn out so well? Say no to drugs. Yeah.
And your mom living with your mom probably helps. Yeah.
My mom keeps me alive. I stayed away from the drugs.
Say no to the wrong drugs. That's what I always say.
Yeah. That's actually a good point.
So that's getting filmed right now the reunion. Yeah we're still filming that right now.
We filmed like, we have a lot of episodes already saved, like Mike's wedding and him

going to court, and then we're doing more now.

You guys still keep in touch with him?

Yeah.

There's an app that we use to talk to him.

Like every day.

In prison.

In prison?

Yeah.

FaceTime?

White collar prison, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

He's in there with the Fyre Festival guy.

Yeah, that's right.

So he's with Billy McFarlane.

Wait, for real?

Are they cooking up some good schemes or what?

I don't know.

I bet you.

When they come out, Mike's going to come out and be like, I know this guy now.

Thank you. When they come out, Mike's going to come out and be like, I know this guy now.
Well, he's also in there with the guy that hacked Jennifer Lawrence's phone to get her nudes out. So maybe he can learn how to hack phones.
Yeah, spooky ghost. Holy shit.
I was like, wow. So this guy could be learning some stuff in there.
Damn, that's like a big time White collar prison Yep Is Shkreli in there Yeah Does he run shit On the inside What's that like Where does he fall As far as he's told you I'm hearing he's got All the cookies Yeah They all like him All love Yeah He better not come out fat Cause that's like When you come out Of prison fat It's like What happened there Yeah He said he works out Like three times a day Alright that's. That's good.
What does he get out? September, unless he gets early release. Okay.
All right. Yeah, we're hoping he gets out earlier.
I hope he gets out for the summertime. Yeah.
He's going to need that shore, huh? Yeah. Do you guys still go down to the Jersey Shore in the summer? When we film, pretty much.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I have, like, you know, I'm getting a little older now, so, you know. Well, I'm sure you get mobbed down there, right? Yeah.
Like, those places, like the DJs ands and the Jenkinsons, they're hard to go to. They're a shit show.
But there's like kind of chill places there too. I DJ in Atlantic City.
It's the closest I get to the show. Okay.
Yeah, I was going to ask, at what age do you feel like you have to tone it down at the store? Because like up until you're 30 years old, I think it's all fair game. And then people kind of start to like taper off the party scene there.
Yeah, well, I mean, I was an idiot. Like I I went there all those years and I never saw the beach or the sun or anything.
I just went there to get drunk. So now I go there and I'm like, oh, shit, it feels good to just get away and go to the beach.
And enjoy the show. Yeah, enjoy outdoors.
Do you guys think that Tommy Cheeseballs was the grandfather of your show? You remember him? He was an all-time reality show. True Life, MTV, Tommy Cheeseballs was like the first.
He put Seaside on the map. Yeah.
I didn't even know Seaside existed until that guy. Yeah.
I didn't know what a cheeseball was. Yes.
All-time episode. When I saw that, I was like, wow, this is what the guy was eating.
And he was trying to find like a wife on the Jersey Shore. Trying to find love.
Yeah. I'm really like, come on, man.
It didn't work out for Ronnie, so. No.
Do you guys still talk to Sammy? Yeah. I mean, every now and then she would text you.
Not like regularly. That didn't sound like you really talked to her.
Well, because, yeah, I don't really talk to her, but we're friends. Like, you know, all love.
Does Ronnie still talk about her a lot? It's kind of weird what he does. It gets awkward.
No, no, no. That was like 10 years ago.
We try to get him to, but. Yeah.
And then it gets gets really awkward and then he starts putting his fist through things he has like

a kid

and another girl

that he's dealing with

yeah he's calmed down a little

okay

okay

hasn't calmed down

looking back on it

is there anything

that you guys wish

you had done

differently

while on the television show

hmm

what I would have done differently

maybe I would have invested

in some of the clubs out there

because they would

let me run the show

I know

yeah that's a good call

they should have given you a taste

yeah exactly

you were bringing people in

at that point Now the Seaside won't have the show back They closed down those clubs We literally brought that place to life The economy, every business was booming And now they're like We want to go in a different direction So they give us a problem about filming That's very counterintuitive to everything they should be. Blows my mind, too.
Same thing when the governor and politicians from New Jersey were talking shit about Jersey Shore. I'm like, do you guys not like money in your state? Yeah.
People go there for vacation. People from Australia were flying to seaside.
Canada, people were just going there because of the show. I don't think there was anything necessarily wrong with what you guys were doing.
It's basically what you do when you're in your early 20s. Not even.
We're saints compared to what people do in their short houses. You just happen to have a camera around you all the time.
Yeah, which makes it actually us well-behaved. There's a camera on us.
What's the worst we're doing? Hooking up? Did that ever fuck with you? We kind of have that here where there's a camera on us all the time. Did it ever fuck with you when you were just like, man, I just want to get away from this camera because it's following me everywhere? It fucks with me when I'm not filming.
So I'm like, where the hell is the camera? It messes me up. I'm used to it in front of my face.
I feel like there's a mic on me. Right.
We've been doing it for 10 years. Well, you get used to it.
So we don't know if you're fucked up because you're still living it. When you're 50, you're like, damn.
It's like PTSD. Start yelling at random people.
We have real PTSD after filming.

Yelling at shadows and whatnot.

Your hair is even better in person.

I just want to say, that is sick.

When you turn 50, are you still going to have the same coif,

or is it going to be time at some point to dial it back?

No, no, I'm going to keep it.

Even when it turns gray, it'll be a gray blowout.

That would actually be sick.

How long does it take to get that ready every day?

About 20 minutes.

Okay, that's not that bad.

Marry, fuck, kill, gym, tan, laundry.

I would marry the gym because I need that forever.

I would kill tan because I could take it or leave it.

And I'd fuck laundry.

I used to do that in high school.

My hamper was a disaster.

I would kill laundry, fuck tan, and marry the gym. Okay, Oh, shit.
Okay, so you'd be stinky, but you'd at least have a nice tan. You'd have your blow going.
And I'd be jacked. Are you still on your diet? Mm-hmm.
That was wild when you were eating the cheese off the pizza. Yeah, it's a way of life.
That was annoying. Yeah, I know.
I was annoyed. I mean, you have to do it, though.
I just took a couple bites for a pizza review. You did? Yeah.
Did you spit it out after? No, but I threw out the entire slice because I'm a foodie. I love pizza, but I can only do it once in a while.
So do you have a cheat day? Yeah, like a couple times a month. It's a movie, though.
I'm doing Chippendales. It's a movie.
You got to film it. Show in Vegas? It's cookies.
It's ice cream. It's pizza.
It's next level. He hates himself after it.
Yeah. I'm doing Chippendales, though, so I have to take my shirt off.
What do you mean you're doing Chippendales? I'm, like, hosting it for a month. Like, I'm the guest host.
So you're going to be a stripper for a month? Yeah, he was practicing his helicopter on the way over here. That's it.
Yeah. Basically.
So you're going to be a stripper for a month? I'm not going to strip. What does your mom think about that? I'm the host.
She's coming. You're just going to escort, not strip.
She's going to? Yeah, right. That's actually not.
You'll be in the champagne room? I'm not going to let her see see That's not a bad place to be Because you've got all the girls Coming in off the strip To watch the show It's the best place to be It's the best place For a single guy to go It's nothing but single women That are there to have a good time You know what I'm talking about Yes Have a really good time That's why I'm going to go see it I'm going to go to a show And just catch the fallout I the fallout. Yeah.
I want to jump back to the gym, tan, laundry thing real quick. Now, is that always an order of gym, then tan, then laundry? No.
Okay, good. That never made sense to me.
The order's never in the same order. I find that we never do it in the right order, right? No.
Because we'll drop off laundry first, go to the gym, tan on the way back, or vice versa with the tan, and the gym always flip-flops. Okay.
And some places it's harder to do like when we're in jersey it's such a small town everything's like on one block right then we started doing it in like italy and miami and now you're driving like a half hour from the gym to the laundry and italy had no tanning beds there was one half a tanning bed at a nail salon i'm like is insane. Did you guys get any backlash for going to Italy?

Oh my God, so much.

Really?

Who was the most mad?

People in Italy weren't mad.

It's always the people here.

Like the Italian Americans.

They always give a shit, but I love it.

Meanwhile, not everyone on the show is even Italian.

Right, right.

And they're like, you guys are not even from Jersey.

We know.

We only rented a show house in Jersey. People go to vacation there.
They don't understand the premise of reality television. What was that audition process like to get on the show? I didn't audition.
They found me on MySpace. They're like, you got the job.
That's a throwback. They saw your hair.
They left me a message saying that they liked my look. And I didn't know why.
Because I was like this in a tank top with the Italian flag in the background, so I was tan, muscles, and the hair in the Italian flag. And there was that, right back around then, what was it, 2009, 2008, there was that famous Guido picture that was going viral on the internet.
Yeah, and I was that guy. They all looked like you.
That was me. Yeah, that was me.
That was my family. Yeah, exactly.
It was your family reunion. That was me.
Yeah. I'm the only one that kept it alive.
Yeah, what about you? I did some crazy audition in an interview in a shitty hotel in Seaside, New Jersey. It looked like some weird Craigslist thing.
The only reason why I thought it was somewhat legit, I recognized the girl interviewing me from another reality show, from actually Tila Tequila. Oh, another classic.
I'm like, yeah, love right so i'm like oh i know you i'm like all right this kind of seems legit but i still thought i was getting murdered um i took a couple shots and then i just like did my thing and then uh they called me like a year later and said can you film this show i'm i don't know and then the rest is history yeah we didn't know what we were filming had no name you don't know until you like get into the house right tell you when even after we filmed it it had no name nothing i come back to my regular life went back to djing in rhode island like nothing ever happened months later we started seeing commercials for the show i like took my wait so so so you guys you film it you go back to your regular life at what point like, holy shit, this is way bigger than we ever thought it would be?

Because it blew up. Yeah, when it aired,

I didn't know that that many people were watching

it until I went out and pumped gas in my car

and I was getting people coming up to me.

They're like, yo, that's crazy on that show.

Also, within two episodes,

everyone's flying to LA,

going to award shows,

going on Jay Leno, Jimmy

David Letterman back then. That normally doesn't happen for a reality show so we're like oh shit this is different now after you guys tape it you just think that or in the process you just think it's like another season of the real world or something like that that's exactly right not even I thought it was like a one hour special like where Tommy Cheeseballs exactly yeah I thought it was like a local celebrity get some chicks of chooches on the show.
So is there anything you look back on and you're like, man, that fad is no longer cool anymore, like fist pumping or anything like that? Yeah, Paulie's hair. Yeah.
Well, I mean, I actually like it because he's keeping it so that eventually- He was the only one back then that's still right. Yeah, but it's a thing.
It was already out of date. In 2009.
If you're going to be on a reality show, you have to have a thing. No doubt.
That makes you stand out a little bit. Everything.
Fist pumping. We used to wear these graphic tees.
Yep. Literally had weight to them.
Those are sweet. I still wear them.
Yeah, those are sweet. I still fist pump.
That's my only dance move. I can't save this conversation next to him because he's exactly the same.
Yeah, but I love it. Yeah.
It's like you just keep doing it. Eventually he's going to come back into style and you're going to be the guy.
That's that. Exactly.
You guys – wait, so you're from Rhode Island. And where are you from? Staten Island.
Staten Island. Okay, so did you grow up a Jets or a Giants fan? I grew up a Giants fan.
Actually, yeah, a Giants fan. How many more years do you think they should keep Eli around? Probably like four or five, six.
Yeah, I guess. Quarterback for life.
They're going to anyway, even though I don't think getting rid of Odell was good. Yeah, that sucked.
And you are tight with the Gronks, right? Yeah, Gronk, and I'm really sad about the whole. You think he's going to keep playing? I do.
Yeah? How many games is he going to wait until he comes back? I know.

I don't know how many games.

We're trying to get the inside scoop over here.

You and Gronk are my best friends.

If Brady calls him, I mean, how could you say no to Brady, in my opinion?

Does Gronk come out to your DJ shows?

I feel like that's like you two.

Yeah, he's awesome.

Yeah, two peas in a pod.

Tell him what he was doing.

In Vegas, he was spiking pineapples on my stage.

He just finds stuff to spike.

If it's something that's football-shaped, he'll spike it. Don't matter what it is.
Oh, that's so perfect. That's so perfect.
All right, well, this has been awesome. So Double Shot of Love, when is the premiere? Tomorrow, April 11th.
April 11th. 8 p.m.
Okay, so hopefully you guys found love. I don't know.
Why are you looking at me like that? Why are you looking at me like that? Why are you looking at me like that? I feel like you have a girlfriend. I feel like you're looking for the answer.
You have to find out. You got to watch it.
I think you guys just found out that you love women. I think Vinny found love.
We like sex. Pauly, you're still single.
Hey, wow. You guys, you got to watch.
So what have you been doing with your girlfriend since? Have you been doing? What have you been doing? I don't know. I don't know if she exists.
Okay. Have you guys, last question, The Bachelor, the last season of The Bachelor, that guy pretended he was a virgin? He pretended? Yeah.
Did he? Was that true? I heard that. Very woke on that.
Did you guys ever think about telling a girl you're a virgin? You think that would be hot for a girl? It doesn't fly for us because they watch us have sex on TV. You know what? Next time you just got to soak.
Bring soaking back. Soak on TV.
That way no one can judge you. He sucks at sex.
No, dude, I was soaking. There was no friction whatsoever.
It wasn't sex. I'm a hugger.
I'm a soaker. Yeah, you're a soaker.
I think you're going to soak. Pauly's going to soak at some point.
I didn't know it was a thing. You've been soaking by accident.
This guy been soaking. All right, guys.
Thanks so much. Appreciate it.
Thank you. Appreciate it.
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Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we got a woe.
PFT, you got a woe for us? Yeah, big time woe. This comes...
Nope. I guess I don't...
Breaking moves. Breaking moves.
The Grizzlies have dismissed their coach and reassigned their GM. It's kind of a this league breaking moves.
David Fisdale, so long. Not really.
Take that for data. No, we know him, yeah.
Mike Conley's very pissed off. Everybody likes him.
He's already subtweeting about it. So it looks like they're rebuilding, which kind of reminds me when I was in a rebuilding phase of my life.
I was going to the gym. I was drinking energy drinks and stuff, but it wasn't getting me the results I wanted until I started drinking low-fat chocolate milk.
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The Grizzlies are always going to be rebuilding.

That's kind of what they're up to.

I feel like the ceiling on the Grizz is giving a team a tough series in the second round.

Yeah.

And fun to watch.

They're fun to watch sometimes.

I miss grit and grind.

Yeah, me too.

Joe Canoa was fun to have back.

The Grizzlies should just be that team that reinvigorates guys' careers.

Yeah, Zach Randolph. Joe Canoa was out of the NBA.
Boom. Grizzlies.
Let's do it. Yeah.
Jimmer Ferdette. Boom.
Just have that be their whole thing. Like, hey, this guy you forgot about, bring him on the Grizzlies.
Aton Thomas. Just dudes that play great defense and are terrible on offense.
Yeah, just do it. All right, you got a woe? So, yeah, I do have a woe.
This comes from JeffIsTall on Twitter, noted Twitter user JeffIsTall. Yep.
If you tried to sex a black hole, your penis would be the longest it's ever been, followed immediately by being the smallest it's ever been. It's like jumping in cold water? Whoa.
I was going to say just like normal sex. Yeah.
Wait, so how does that work? It's just like normal sex. Your penis gets very long and then very small.
But what is the actual black hole? So black holes are in the news this week because NASA took a snapshot of one. And what they do is they just suck things, right? So they suck the light from stars.
And then once the light from the star gets close to the black hole and inside the black hole, it gets compacted and disappears. Okay.
So it's gone. So it's gone.
So your dick would be gone, actually. Gone forever.
I don't know if being gone counts as small. Gone just counts as done.
It's the absence of penis. Gone is the absence of penis.
Right. So there's nothing.
You can't actually comment on the size. That's true.
All right. So, okay.
That's actually, you're wrong. Jeff is tall.
Myth debunked. Jeff is tall.
You're probably not even tall. All right.
We have a, well, that makes sense. What was this one for? This is from Jack Dorsey.
He is the CEO of Twitter. He's been in the news a lot recently.
And he has some very, very strange eating habits. Okay.
So he says, I'll go from Friday till Sunday. I won't have dinner on Friday.
I won't have dinner or any meal on Saturday. And the first time I'll eat will be Sunday evening.
I've done that where I do an extended fast where I'm just drinking water. The first time I did it on day three, I felt like I was hallucinating.
It was a weird state to be in. This is, this is the point of no return with like rich people just doing random shit.
Like, hey, you know what would be fun? To be starving to death for three days. Yeah.
Okay. No, that's the thing about being rich.
I think you get so uncomfortable being comfortable. Right.
If you're comfortable all the time, eventually you get uncomfortable, and then you have to make yourself uncomfortable to be comfortable again. so he has to be in pain to be like okay i now i know how how normal people feel this is also the new drug the new drug is to just deprive your body of what it needs to survive and then be like but i hallucinated yeah i didn't sleep for three weeks it was wild i started hallucinating right if you go on a run for 20 miles you'll get a wicked runner's high oh man okay i gotta start doing that i gotta start moving my body yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna submerge myself in freezing cold water for an hour and guess what my heart stopped i mean it was fucking it was like the greatest cocaine i've ever had what i'm gonna suspend myself for six hours by by putting fish hooks through my nipples and an intricate series of pulleys to raise me off the ground you're fucking rich dude just do designer drugs that none of us can do or if you want to feel like you're poor just actually be just give some of your money away yeah that'd be cool that's a rush give all your money away you know what i've heard is the ultimate rush giving a shitload of money to It gets you just...
It gets you fucking high as shit. You get so high.
It's like Molly. Yeah.
Well, Molly's... You guys know about Molly.
Molly's like Molly. Molly's like Molly.
Molly's like Molly. All right.
Next up, I do a quick seeing red, but I don't even... I actually think the Bulls have beaten it out of me.
Jim Boylan's going to get a three-year contract, and John Paxson got in front of the media and basically was like, I think we're still a destination for free agents, which makes no sense because the Bulls have never been a destination for free agents, and they just hired a glorified gym teacher to be the coach for the next three years because they don't like change, and they're lazy, and they want a guy who will just do whatever they say. It's sad to see you reach this point i'm actually mad they did it to us i'm getting they did it to us it's their fault you have jim how can you get mad about jim boylan for three years it's just like it should be dejection i think your initial reaction is just like whatever well what they're doing is they essentially are like we just don't really want to hire someone new because then the new person is going to come in and be like, hey, everything you guys do is fucked up and stupid.
So they're like, let's just keep this guy because at least he won't call us dumb. This is exactly how the Redskins franchise operates.
It's brutal. It is just a series of dejections.
Zion. Maybe Zion.
Yeah, that's your hope. Yeah, Zion or John Morant.
That's going to be the biggest night of the Bulls in probably since Derrick Rose left is like. That's going to be it.
The night the ping pong balls go. Speaking of Derrick Rose, why is the name of his movie Poo? Because that's his nickname.
You guys need a real good name for a movie. You need a great good luck charm for draft night.
You need a kid up there. You need one of the Jackie Robinson Little League kids up there.
That would be kind of awkward. They're like 18.
Yeah, that's fine. I don't care.
They're the most successful team besides the Cubs from Chicago. That would be pretty funny if you just threw them up there.
You need to figure this out. You need to figure out who the ultimate Jim Belushi.
Final answer. Jim Belushi.
Okay, done. Final answer.
Is he okay? What? Is he okay now? Jim Belushi? Yeah. What happened to him? Just making sure he's okay.
What do you mean? What happened to him? Oh, I was thinking about John Ritter. I was thinking John Ritter.
Oh. I know about John.
Belushi. Yeah.
Got it. Yeah, Jim Belushi.
Oh, no. Here's what you do.
Bill Murray. Get it? That's a good one.
Get Bill Murray to do it. Yes.
He's probably going to be at his Xavier game, so it probably wouldn't work out. All right.
Last up before. Oh, no.
We have two more. I have a SeatGeek question.
Promo code TAKE. You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
Marlinsman, thank you for the shout out. That was very nice of you.
Not paid for that shout out to all of his followers, but put in promo code TAKE. You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
Perfect time to do it, by the way. In April, you can go to a baseball game for like nothing.
You know what you just did? You gave $10 to the troops. Yeah, I did.
Because you saved Marlins man $10. Uh-huh.
All right, so here is, this is actually a perfect segue from baseball. PFT, embrace debate slash question.
Do you feel bad for Chris Davis, who is now 0 for 53 in his last 53? Well, he's had a couple walks mixed in there. No, because it's so much fun to watch.
Okay. And if the Orioles were going to be a threat to do anything this year, then maybe I would be.
But he's helping them. I feel bad for him.
I think the number would be 100 where it would go from sad to funny again. But from like 20 to – or probably like 30 to 100, it's sad.
Okay. I can get behind that train of thought, but at the same time, you're telling me that if he reached like 97, you wouldn't be standing up cheering for him to get to 100? Well, he's already electric.
It would get fun again a little bit before 100. It'd be like 87.
Yeah, 87. Right where it's like, I'm not sad about it, I'm out rooting for him to get to 100.
Yeah. I still think it's so much fun to watch.
They should really just let him get a hit. Like, some team, they had a shift on him today.
I was like, that's just mean. He hit it right into the shift.
And it was like, that could have been a single. Just let him play straight up.
He needs a new bat. He also...
Just cork your bat at this point. Another embrace debate about Chris Davis.
I actually think if he's this deep, if he's going to be this deep into, I think he's 0 for, I can't remember what is this season. I think it's like 30 or something.
He's this deep into this season not having a hit. I think he's just not going to hit.
Because having a batting average of zero is better than having a batting average of 50. The minute he gets a hit, it's going to look worse.
Because you know what happens? You add the extra decimal on there. Right, right.
So zero is like, oh, maybe he just hasn't had a lot of plate appearances. He's a pitcher.
Also, zero isn't really a number, right? Right. As we discussed, it's just the absence of dick.
Did you see Trevor Rosenthal had five straight appearances where he didn't record an out? So he had an infinity ERA. Yeah, he had an infinity ERA for quite a while, yeah.
Which is actually, in a weird way, I think, harder to do than Chris Davis, because I actually think that if you gave me five appearances, I'd get an out. Yeah, someone would catch a fly ball.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah, you'd fuck them up by throwing it so slow. They'd hit a line drive.
They would hit one right at the first baseman. Right, or hit a warning track shot.
They'd be like, wait, way too slow. Yeah, you get a nice gust of wind.
Throw an E-fist. Yeah.
Right at him. So yeah, I feel bad right now, but I will laugh later.
The kid from Rookie of the Year got three outs. Yes, he did.
Throwing, what, 40 miles per hour? Oh yeah. Oh fuck yes, he did.
Alright, last up before FAQs, it's a new segment, new segment alert. It's called Trey Wingo Anchorman References.
Yes. So this one is, well, that escalated quickly.
Yeah, it's a very versatile segment, so you can do, well, that escalated quickly. You can do, I'm not mad, I'm just impressed.
Can we do some rules, too, Wedding Crashers? Yeah, this is all Anchorman. Wedding Crashers is part of the Anchorman cinematic universe.
Yeah, since old school as well. Yes, absolutely.
So those are the three money ones. This is from Rashard Mendenhall.
He wanted to weigh in on the ongoing Steelers saga that will apparently never end. He says, all right, I'll end the mystery.
B, that stands for Ben, Ben's racist and Antonio Brown's black. He had to catch balls from a racist quarterback.
Every honest player knows it. It's not a big deal.
He was just supposed to take his lickings and move on like a slave for real. Well, that escalated quickly.
That escalated real fast. It's actually been like two and a half months.
But it still escalated. It still escalated very quickly.
I don't really understand this either because Big Ben is racist and plays in the NFL. I feel like it would be tough to stick around as a quarterback in the NFL if you were very, very racist.
I don't know. I think you could do it.
You don't think so? Well, if you let your racism get in the way of your play, if you're like, I'm not going to throw the ball to a black wide receiver, then you're just going to suck at being quarterback. And you'll get out of the league pretty quickly.
So if you can check your racism at the door, I think it's possible to be an NFL quarterback.

But he's saying that Big Ben's racism, every honest player knows it.

So everyone knows it.

It's very out in the open.

They say there are no racists in foxholes either, like on the battlefield.

True.

Actually, they say no atheists in foxholes, but I think it goes the same way.

No racists as well.

So I guess we can just say Mike Tomlin has officially lost his former locker room as well. Yes.
Oh, that's got to be really hard for Big Ben too, as a racist. Yeah.
To have Mike Tomlin as his coach. That would be very, very you know what? I'm going to withhold judgment on this.
I need another former Steeler to weigh in. I need either Franco Harris, because he's Italian, right? So I need Franco Harris to either moderate this or...
He's problematic. Why? He's very, Joe Petrino.
Oh okay. That's right.
Yeah. Very.
So Franco you canceled. March to Happy Valley.
Immaculate reception is canceled. I'll wait for Mike Florio's old quarterback from the book that he wrote Quarterback of the Future.
It was a time traveling quarterback that went back to play for the Steelers. You know this book? No.

Oh, you got to read it. His name's Jake Dacato.
Imaginary former Steeler Jake Dacato, I need you to weigh in on whether or not Big Ben is a racist. Did he write that after or before he killed Terry Bradshaw? He wrote that before he killed Terry Bradshaw.
So, yeah, back before he had blood on his hands. Yeah, yeah.
New show idea. at like 2 in the morning on ESPN or Fox,

they should just have all the former players that hated their quarterbacks in a roundtable discussion. So you can have like Greg Jennings.
You can have Rashard Mendenhall. You can have, what's the other guy, Jermichael Finley.
Just anyone who hates their old teammate, and they just sit there and they bitch about their old teammate for three hours, and they get it out so that we don't have to listen to it every day. Yeah, it should be moderated by Terrell Owens.
Yeah, perfect. Perfect.
Ocho Cinco? Yes. Yeah, I feel like Ocho Cinco got along with most people.
He liked Carson Palmer. Remember they drove that time from Cincinnati to Indianapolis to watch Peyton Manning? Yeah, I think it was mostly Carson Palmer that was just like, why does this guy who likes me so much hang out with me all the time? He's very weird.
Right, why does he make a stop to go to every McDonald's on the way? Yeah. This is weird.
But yeah, someone make that show. I'd watch it.
Never. Not.
Oh, shit. Never not.
Yeah, so I would watch it. Yeah, mine fucked.
I'd watch the shit out of it. Okay, yeah.
Hank, go do the FAQs.

How many interviews are you guys sitting on at any given time?

Oh, that's a very good question.

Great question.

I'd say two to three, maybe sometimes a little more.

Two to three is usually like the sweet spot.

Right now we're sitting on Drew Brees, Rick Fox.

Leave all these out. OAR.
OAR OAR so we're three Pudge Martinez we do have that one in the can sometimes we're flush sometimes we're bust it's a lot like our gambling accounts I'd say so yeah there are times when we're short where we have to scrimp and scrape at the last second and call up Paul Bissonette or you know somebody like that that's a pretty good telltale sign if we have to scrimp and scrape at the last second and call up Paul Bissonette or somebody like that. That's a pretty good telltale sign if we have Mr.
Portnoy on, Biz Nasty, or I'm trying to think, Roussillo. Out of season.
Or Roussillo. Yeah, Roussillo.
Then we don't have anyone and that's literally the last person on our phone. Explain the part of my take logo, please.
Okay. It's Big Cat, Stella, who was a big part of the show when we were doing Skype because she would chime in from time she was definitely a third member and then my Twitter avatar and then Hank I was looking at the one behind me there's two one is just PFT and I but it's also PFT's Twitter the car stick is on there too.
Car stick. And there's also a couple that are, I think we did a holiday one.
A bottle of Mad Dog. Yeah, there's a bottle of Mad Dog.
It was always supposed to be Mad Dog, but copyright, we couldn't put that in the official logo. Sneaky one of those things.
You can't say that, Hank, that we were doing an ad deal with one of their competitors. Yeah.
Sneaky one of uh our logo i think we had a lot of success like it gave us some success early on that we didn't do intentionally but if you look at like podcast logos there's not a lot of logos that are cartoons of the host right do you know what i mean usually it's like it makes you stop right it's a combo breaker when you're scrolling through the through the podcast app it's like oh this one for some reason stands out these idiots i'll give it a shot even though they look like shitheads right like all the npr ones are just like just just words they are guess what they're just words yeah it's like when you go to a restaurant you want a picture menu yeah pretty much pictures are the new words and then joe rogan's face is all over the place. Joe Rogan sums up.
He dominates everything. It's crazy.
It's the DMT. It's fucking crazy how many of his podcasts are at the top at any given time.
He's in a good location. Shout out to him.
We just need to have Alex Jones on the show. Joe Rogan, come on the podcast.
Please. At what point has smashed avocado become guacamole? Okay.
The third smash. You think it's three smashes and you're playing with yourself.
Yeah. Smash it once, that's fine.
Smash it twice, that's okay. Third smash.
Smash it three times. I'm just wondering what you're doing at the yard line.
Exactly. Kind of creepy.
The real answer is when you add salt, lime juice, and whatever other ingredients. Like peas is a big one that the New York Times put out there.
Good old guacamole with peas. Love my pea guacamole.
This person wants us to give some Game of Thrones predictions. We're not, unfortunately, able to do that.
We will on Sunday. That's Hank's Firefest.
We have a big announcement on Sunday. We'll just have to save it.
Yeah, okay. Thanks for reading that question.
You're welcome. Oh, here's another real question.
Why are you guys always so mean to Hank? He's just doing his job. That's a real question.
I don't think we're mean to you. Cranky Hanky? I think we know the buttons to press.
I'm like Phil Jackson, and I know exactly how to motivate my players. And the best way to do it with you is to kind of make fun of you sometimes.
That was a preview of our Rick Fox interview. Yeah, Iank the part of the reason why hank is so good at his job is he can take it and he only gets somewhat mad and decides to do stool scenes because he hates us and honestly new stool scenes out all honesty hank is very very good at his job very good you see people chirp him saying oh you just press record that is that is just one of the two parts of his job.
He does breaking moves. He does breaking moves, too.
So he's very, very good at everything involved with all facets of his job. So thank you, Hank.
And we're actually not that easy to deal with sometimes because we don't respond to stuff. That's true.
That is true. We're really bad at responding.
His yawns are also a great deterrent keeping away strangers. I love waking Hank up and having him want to fight me.

That was a nice compliment. Keeps you alert.
Let's compliment Hank real quick. When he has a beard, he's very handsome.
I think he would have made a great cat owner for a week or so, and then the cat would have probably died. Yeah.
I would have got lost in my laundry. You know what, Hank?

So the fourth member part of my take, Bubby slash Bubba slash Liam,

is probably the most swagalicious guy I know. And Hank doesn't get too jealous about Bubby's swag.
About his flow. And how sick his tattoos are.
I fucking hate his flow, though. His flow is awesome.
I've instructed him to wear hats around me at all times. So that was a nice compliment, right? Mm know what? Here's a great compliment for you, Hank.
You hired Bubba, the greatest producer in part of my take history. That's true.
And you hired him. Congratulations.
Your chain is cool. I'm just literally describing things Hank's wearing right now.
Your chain is cool today. Your shirt fits.
What is the thing on your wrist? This? Yeah, what does it say? Bless and grateful to my friend Jordan that passed away.

Okay, so there you go.

Shout out, Jordan.

That's awesome.

You're a good friend.

Yes, that is awesome.

You're drinking water, which is good.

You've got to stay hydrated.

Although you're drinking out of a water bottle, which is illegal in this office now.

Where'd you get that, bro?

It was for Rick Fox, but he didn't drink it.

Where'd you get that sweet, sweet shit?

Huh?

Wait, Rick Fox did open his water bottle. He spilled it everywhere.
Are you drinking Rick Fox's back? Let's just do the whole Rick Fox, but he didn't drink it. Where'd you get that sweet, sweet shit? Huh? Wait, Rick Fox did open his water bottle and drink it.

He spilled it everywhere.

Are you drinking Rick Fox's backwash?

Let's just do the whole Rick Fox interview right now.

We'll just explain everything.

Do we have three hours?