Eli Manning In Studio, Howie Long, Eagles Win Opening Night After A Spit Off, NFL Week 1 Picks And Preview + Fyre fest

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On today's part of my take, football is back.

We had Thursday night football.

We're going to talk Eagles, Cowboys.

We also have our first weekend preview of the year, which was great.

We get into every single game.

We got stupid stats, dumb thoughts, even dumber bets.

And then we're going to have some experts on.

We have Eli Manning in studio, Howie Long,

and then we have Firefest.

And we might have a new challenge going with Firefest.

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let's go.

barn and my tick.

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born and my tape.

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Today is Friday, September 5th, and football is back.

We made it.

We made it.

I'll tell you what I told the guys when I drove in this afternoon.

After we left, came back to watch the games.

I've never driven home from the hospital with a baby, but my drive into work before we were watching the first opening game of the NFL, I felt like that was my own personal drive home from the hospital with a baby.

I was terrified.

I was driving so carefully.

I was like, what if I get into a crash and die before football season starts?

I'm just so glad that it's here.

It's beautiful.

It is.

I had had a pep in my step all day.

This is Christmas morning for guys like us.

This is a holiday.

And the Eagles are 1-0

after

a wild start to the football season.

We had opening kickoff, injury, Cart comes out for an Eagles player on special teams, and Jalen Carter gets ejected from the game without taking a snap after spitting on Dak Prescott,

which was in in return to Dak Prescott spitting on the ground in front of Jalen Carter, which

I know someone here, well, two people here, both in the booth, thought Jalen Carter acted in self-defense.

Zach said that you have to, what was your exact take, Zach?

I think that a second spit is self-defense.

Self-defense.

Max, how are you feeling?

about the spit.

I was very mad about the spit at first because, you know, it's convenient that the NFL took

three hours to show the initial spit from Dak Prescott because of the beloved cowboys of the NFL media.

I like this.

So, yeah, no,

it was three hours of everyone saying Jalen Carter, oh, Jalen Carter, Georgia, bad guy.

We were waiting for this to come out.

What a piece of shit Jalen Carter is.

And then we found out

it was a retaliation spit.

It was self-defense.

I got a question.

Who said Jalen Carter, Georgia, Georgia, bad guy?

Well, you know, people say that about Georgia, guys.

Well, I have one example.

What?

Brendan Walker said that.

Oh, did he?

And it's very interesting, too.

Where did Brendan go to college?

Mississippi State.

Where did Dak go to college?

Missippe State.

That's interesting to me.

I thought

that was a fun part of the night.

Did he say anything about Dak spitting towards him first?

No, I asked him for comment.

Otherwise, I have to assume that Mississippi State is a pro-spitting on people university.

And I still haven't heard from Brendan Walker, who is the most famous alumni of Mississippi State.

I thought when I I first saw it, first of all, credit to Jalen Carter.

That was a nice Loogie he hocked up.

Yeah, we thought it was, I thought it was gum, yeah, yeah.

It looked like gum, it was uh, it looked like it was globule, it looked like it was like a different color.

Um, it looked like maybe it had like uh, uh, maybe a salt packet in his water right before, yeah, like he had that one loaded, yeah, little skittles like instead of going out onto the field and watching the banner being unfurled, maybe he was just in the tunnel just hawking it up so he's ready.

Because the one thing worse than uh, getting ejected for spitting on an opponent before you even take a snap in the NFL season would be getting ejected for spitting on an opponent before you take a snap in the NFL season and having the spit not really be good.

Yeah, it was a great spit.

We all can agree.

That was a manly spit.

It was a manly spit.

Well, men don't spit on people.

Men spit, they spit to the side or they spit into mountain dew bottles and then they leave them on desks.

I did.

That's true.

I did like it became a tough guy contest online where it was like, go up to someone and spit on the ground in front of them.

See

how quickly you wake up.

It'll be in the hospital.

Try that in a small town.

It's like, okay.

So if someone wants to spit on the ground in front of me, I'll probably be like, sorry, I don't want

any trouble here, sir.

All right.

So my initial reaction when I just saw the Jalen Carter, number one, great Lugie.

Number two reaction was Dak should have punched him.

Or

maybe a lineman.

No, but that makes sense.

I would like to see a lineman have his back and step in.

But even if you know that Dak spit at them, if Jalen Carter spits and it hits your quarterback, to me, that shows a fraction of the Dallas Cowboys team.

That line, it's like when you get sacked and no one helps you up.

If Jerry Jones was still alive, he would not let this happen.

Jerry Jones seeing in the box, he was melting in his seat.

Jerry Jones starts to spit just all his teeth come out.

Jerry Jones looked like

when you leave a candle unattended for a while and you come back, you're like, oh, fuck.

Oh, shit, I got like a quarter of the candle left.

And he's sitting in the owner's suite with a Pepsi with his eyes closed.

That's Jerry Jones right now.

He's scouting.

A candle in a suit.

When I saw that Dak spat first, then my reaction shifted to

Dak can't cry for getting spat on if he's the one that started it.

Yeah, he started it.

So Jalen Carter should not have spat onto Dak.

He should have directed his spit on the ground in front of Dak.

Well, and more than anything,

take out the spit.

The fact what happened is the Eagles' defense in the first half was just getting gashed.

And so was the Cowboys.

The Cowboys' defense looked so bad in the first half.

I don't think they touched Jalen Hurts.

He was scrambling all over the place, hitting everyone.

That first half was like pretty much perfect football from both sides.

I think there was maybe one or two incompletions.

Then the second half started.

Iber Fluce, I hate to say it, made some good adjustments on defense.

They got after Jalen Hurts a little more, and then a lightning delay happened and the game basically ended.

Yeah, after they came back, I think it was after the delay that Hurts hit Dotson, or was that before?

That was

before.

They didn't score a point after the delay.

That was a great, great pass by Jalen Hurts.

He was also awesome with his feet.

He was perfect in terms of figuring out when to run, where to run, when to get down.

He wasn't getting hit even when he was running.

Yeah.

He was sliding perfectly.

It was a great game by Jalen Hurts.

But I do have a question for you, Max.

You know, I care about the relationship deeply between Jalen Hurts and A.J.

Brown.

Are they okay?

We've asked this question many a time on this show.

I don't think that's a good question.

It took about three

four hours with the lightning day delay for him to get his first target.

Yeah.

We've asked this question many a time.

Are they okay with each other?

You asked him that question directly.

I just want to make sure that you say I forget.

Yeah.

Oh.

That was really good.

That was a straight.

That was

a straight.

That was a straight.

Max Morgan.

If we lost that game, if we lost that game, it would not have been the same story.

After three years of asking Max the same question after every Eagles game, he's finally learned a little bit.

But that was an incredible breakthrough.

I know.

That was awesome.

That was like, if we're your therapist, we're like, hey, we really did something today.

I really found something.

If we asked him like five more times, he would get mad.

But this is good that you recognize what's going on.

Yes.

CeeDee Lamb, by the way, that was the game.

That drop, not the last drop, because that was a hard catch to make, and that's like a 50-50.

He has made those catches.

The one before, though, Dak made a perfect pass to what it was, like the 25-yard line.

CeeDee Lamb just right in his hands.

I actually thought Dak played pretty good tonight.

Yeah, Dak looked good.

Like, we kind of forgot what Dak looked like because it had been a while and he wasn't really good last year, and then he got hurt.

He looked pretty good.

The Cowboys, I feel like, are going to be in some games with their offense, but man, CeeDee Lamb, you got to catch that.

You have to catch that.

Yeah, I thought as a whole, the Cowboys didn't look as bad as a lot of people were expecting him to.

No.

The entire story for the last two months has just just been Micah Parsons, and he's a really, really good player.

And his absence, I think you could say, was probably felt tonight.

Yeah, they found something in the second half.

And obviously, the Eagles had some offensive line injuries.

I think Landon Dickerson left the game, and that definitely you could feel that.

But before that, even, the Cowboys' defense bowed up a little, and they played a lot better.

Max, are you worried at all about the secondary?

Yes, secondary looked really bad.

Dory Jackson, I was screwed.

He's going to be a guy that I say his name a lot this year, and I can tell that already.

And even the rest of the secondary didn't look great.

CD was winning every single battle, no matter who we put at him, and it wasn't really close.

That I'm going to chalk up a little bit that nobody played in preseason.

You can play that card for, I think you get like two weeks.

Two weeks of like, all right,

we had a late run in the playoffs last year.

Nobody played in preseason.

You got to get back into the flow of things.

But but a Dory Jackson, I mean, he looked like he didn't know how to play football.

Yeah, also, shout out Big Dom.

Great job escorting Jalen Carter off the premises.

It was a nice, calming presence.

He was talking him down.

I wish that Big Dom they should mic Big Dom up.

They should for those moments.

Yeah.

Also, shout out Max.

He was a real team player.

He turned his back for the unveiling of the banner because the team didn't watch it, so he didn't want to watch it.

That's how you do it.

Yeah, I stand in solidarity with my squad.

Yeah.

I'm basically part of the team.

Max, I have a question for you that popped in my head today because we had Fred Smoot in the office.

We were doing a pro football football show, and he said the Eagles have the best roster in the NFL.

Do you take offense to that?

I was thinking about it.

I think I'd take offense to that.

Well, he probably says it.

No, he just said the Eagles have the best roster in the NFL.

But whenever someone says that, they're basically saying the guys on the paper look awesome.

They have to still be awesome.

You know what I mean?

It's like

they just won the Super Bowl.

So saying you're the best team is different than saying you're the best roster.

But they just won the Super Bowl.

I agree.

I'm saying so you take offense to it.

No, I don't take offense.

The only reason I would take offense to that is if he was bringing down Jalen Hurts.

Got it.

That's when I take offense is when people see, I see, I see.

I would maybe take offense to it after a few months of the season, but before kickoff, it's like if you say that, that's really all

you can just talk about the roster.

Yeah, but they are the best team in the the NFL.

They won the Super Bowl, but they're also the only team that's 1-0.

If you were to say that after a year that they disappointed in the playoffs, then you could take offense to it.

Got it.

But after a year that you just won the Super Bowl and you say you're the best roster, it's like, okay, yeah, that makes sense.

Okay.

I think you

have.

So facto.

You have definitely one of the best rosters, but tonight you didn't have the most electric player on the field, and that was, once again, George Pickens.

Yes.

I can't get enough of George Pickens.

The clothesline.

George Pickens' clothesline was incredible.

There were a couple plays where he just decided he was going to walk walk because he knew he wasn't getting the ball.

A couple great catches that he had.

And then right afterwards,

you scream at the TV, like somebody get up with George and bring him back to the huddle immediately because he's going to get another penalty.

Yeah.

He is the most entertaining player in the NFL to watch.

Yes, I'd agree.

You said it during the game.

The all-22 just on George.

Yeah.

Just George Cam locked in.

All right, other things real quick because we have our weekend preview.

We have a lot of show coming up.

Do we think anything, what do we think about Kawhi?

Kawhi and Ballmer.

I think Pablo Torrey found out

that Kawhi Leonard was maybe working for a fake company, tree company.

It was a real company that then

went bankrupt under premise of a fraud investigation.

And Steve Ballmer allegedly invested a bunch of money in this company, which then allegedly was funneled directly to Kawhi Leonard.

The company is a tree planting company.

Basically, I listened to the podcast.

It sounds like the company was invented so that Hollywood celebrities who feel guilty about their private jets can cut a check to a company that says,

we're going to take this money and go plant a billion trees with it.

So don't worry, Ms.

Swift.

You can fly anywhere you want.

And then it turns out they just never checked in on the trees that were being planted.

We don't know if trees ever.

It was just a check that you could write to feel better.

And Kawhi never did anything for him, a no-show job.

Did you hear this one?

Did you hear this one?

Kawhi Leonard had a no-show job for a tree company.

I thought his no-show job was playing basketball in the playoffs.

That's good.

I like that.

That's James Harden's.

Oh, man.

I took exception with a lot of the Sopranos memes that were going around.

Yeah.

Because it was all the pictures of the guys at the construction site.

Those weren't the no-show jobs.

You have to show up or sit down.

Those were the no-work jobs.

It had to be an empty chair.

Yes, the no-show jobs, you got to stay at home.

The one with the Pine Barons was good, though.

Yeah, that was great.

It was Kawhi and Steve Ballmer showing Pablo Torre the trees.

I will say that Steve Ballmer is handling it correctly, and the fact that he's completely on the offensive, he went on Sports Center tonight.

I did read someone basically spelled it out.

Some NBA writer was like, we don't really know what happened here, but the idea that

a company that markets with the team would also have a marketing deal with their biggest star is very common in the NBA.

Yes.

So, like, that part is common.

The fact that

this company basically looked like a fake company, that part is what's like, huh, what's going on here?

And the part that Kawhi did zero work.

I think maybe he might have signed like five pictures.

There was a, I saw there was a happy birthday million dollars.

There was a happy birthday Kawhi tweet from like 2023, and it was like from the Clippers account, and it was like sponsored by Aspiration.

What is it?

Aspire, I think.

Aspire, yeah.

We got to start one of those companies.

I know.

This actually is a genius idea to just just like just prey on

a bunch of celebrities who feel guilty.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

I know I was a little critical of Pablo Torrey with the with the Bill Belichick reporting, and I know Bill Simmons was too, but I kind of love it.

And I'm sure this was his plan the whole time, but it feels like after Bill Simmons came after him, he's like been super spite reporting.

Well, he's like

what he does.

He's on top of everything.

Yeah, Pablo has become the number one, do not pick up this guy's phone call.

If he's calling you or if he invites you on his podcast you should pack up every you should have go bag ready and you should flee to bahrain yeah by the way uh i don't know how you guys feel but when i saw this report and let's say it went down exactly what pablo tori is saying that like this was a shell you know fake company and this was a way to circumvent the cap i was like god damn it i wish my owners did that yeah like Jerry Reinsworth would never do that.

And if you're a Clippers fan, you should be like, yeah, that rocks.

Yeah, this is what you want.

Would you rather have Donald Sterling?

Yeah.

Or a guy that will break the law to help you win.

A guy who's like, I pay you hundreds of millions of dollars, but guess what?

I want to pay you even more.

Yeah.

Sorry.

That's awesome.

Is that a crime?

Maybe.

I don't know.

Don't answer that.

Do you think this happens in other sports, Big Cat?

Yes.

I think it happens in all sports, everywhere.

Yes, I agree.

Not baseball.

Not baseball.

There's no salary cap.

That's a good point.

Sorry for the well actually.

I don't know.

No,

Max, that was a great.

That was a great point.

Well, actually, Max, that was a great well, actually.

Great point.

It does not happen in baseball.

By not having a cap, they took away all the incentive to do that.

I was thinking, like, NFL, like, if there's ever been a star quarterback that took a series of team-friendly deals,

hometown discounts,

and maybe they had some sort of side arrangement in their location.

Is a side arrangement a multi-hundred-millionaire wife?

No, but that would be a very, very convenient reason for him to not take those big deals.

It's good sh good cover.

Great cover.

I got a question, and this is why, so I believe Pablo Torrey's reporting because he's very good at it.

The only reason that I'm like, huh, this doesn't fully add up is maybe this doesn't make sense, but

doesn't Bitcoin exist so that you can send people money without anyone tracing it?

Isn't that just what's happening in every team?

It's all in the chain.

But

wouldn't that be how everyone's doing this right now?

Like, I think that every team probably is doing this, and aren't they just doing it with Bitcoin?

I mean, all you would have to do, he would have to start Kawhi Coin, and then Steve Ballman would be like, I'm going to buy a shitload of Kawhi Coin anonymously.

But wouldn't you, like, that would be the least shocking news ever if a bunch of owners got somehow exposed for sending Bitcoin to their star players?

Right?

Yeah.

Or if a player was going to star in a movie, like if it was a live-action slash animated movie about basketball and cartoon characters, and then moved to L.A.

L.A.

where it was being funded.

And then all the money gets intertwined.

And then that guy becomes a producer on that movie.

And he also gets a piece of the ownership of the Lakers.

That would be, yeah, I would keep my eyes on something like that.

I would keep my eyes on something that.

All right, last thing I have before we get to our preview.

Boys, do you want to say anything about the bloodbath that occurred on Wednesday?

Yeah, MySpace Time was a great pick.

It was one of the worst picks.

No, it's a great pick ever.

Listen, it's a great pick.

Sometimes

great shots don't always go in.

You get unlucky.

Bad bouncer.

I'd rather go 0-3 than 2-1.

Yeah, so Maxim Memes won Mount Rushmore season

or finished second going 3-0, full sweep.

PFT and Hank will do the spray tan with

the frosted tips and the puka shell and the pop collar and the cargo shorts or pants

after Thanksgiving.

We're going to look good.

Justice was served, I guess.

Yeah.

Duel is just.

I'm okay with the result.

I will abide by it.

It is kind of weird that it happened so early.

Like, West Coast listeners didn't even get a chance to vote in the poll.

I'm not going to dispute it.

I'm just pointing.

I'm just hanging out.

So the reason we did that.

I'm just stating a fact.

But we recorded that on last year.

We

posted the poll as it was going on so that there was no bias for the listeners.

Right.

We couldn't do that this year because

you guys had a poker tournament, so we recorded that on Monday.

So it would make no sense for us to post the duel before we even announced that we were doing a duel.

So we had to do it.

Yeah, it was, by the way, that is a very funny wrinkle to all this.

We had a very chaotic week with travel.

We came in on Monday at like 4.30 and recorded basically everything from 4.30 till midnight.

So we did our entire argument

and then we took a break and then we did the duel.

It was like back to back all in the same moment.

Yeah, and then we went home, slept for a little bit, and got on a plane together and had a great time.

And then I, yeah, I like woke up and I saw a bunch of people like tweeting, like, this is so dumb.

Why are you arguing about this?

I'm like, wait, didn't we do the, oh, yeah, that's tomorrow that the Mountain Rushmores come out?

I'd forgotten.

I'd forgotten to.

Again, I'm not disputing the poll is final.

We all agreed to it.

It's just, I feel bad for the listeners on the West Coast.

I might get Spray Tanner.

Didn't get a chance to vote.

I mean, it wasn't close.

No.

Yeah, it was Ball Don't Lie.

Yeah.

It was ball, don't lie.

Also, congrats for winning money in poker.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I found out what a straight was.

Yeah.

You were a shark.

I think I am a shark at poker.

I nailed every read that I had of everybody at the table.

I was able to look through them and I knew what they were doing.

I just didn't know that an ace could be high or low.

Yeah.

Which is something that they teach you day one.

No, I was saying to someone as the poker tournament was going on, because they're like, how do you think PFT is doing?

I was like, he's in the perfect spot right now because he doesn't really know what he's doing, but he's smart enough to be able to figure out everyone else.

So the cards don't really matter for him.

Well, they did a little bit because they did, but like you, you were more reading body language than the cards.

Like, if I got, I think I got a pair of twos or a pair of threes at one point, and I had no idea if that was a good handle.

Yeah, you were playing percentages.

You weren't like, oh, the pot is this, and I have this.

Yeah.

I have a percentage on this.

There's too much math in poker for you.

Way too much.

I would like to play again, though.

Yeah.

We should do it again.

By the way, last thing.

Hank.

No.

Huge night of tennis for you.

You were locked into the tennis.

Well, yeah, we got in the game when cave football is back.

Honestly, hand up, I just assumed there was going to be college football on because usually there is on Thursday.

Yeah, they give it up on the opening night.

So there wasn't.

There was tennis on two TVs, and I bet the

Eagles alternate spread because I thought they were going to blow him out.

Jalen Carter went out.

This Cowboys scored right away, and I was like, all right, right, that's a loser.

Right.

So let's jump in on some tennis.

Did a

two-person parlay.

So I won the first one with Sabulenka, and then I'm Osaka.

I've been watching tennis for six hours just to lose.

I'm done with women's tennis.

I got a question for you.

So it's the U.S.

Open.

It's our major.

There were two Americans in the quarter or in the semifinals.

Surely you bet on both Americans.

I bet on the two people I know.

Sabalenka's electric, and I like Osaka.

She's got a good personality, good story.

And you thought Osaka might have been American.

Well, she moved when she was three.

She speaks.

I've watched a lot of her interviews.

Like, I know.

Yeah, but the flag.

Yeah, I just, well, there's the flag.

It's on me.

But I like Osaka.

She choked.

She absolutely choked.

Does this date someone famous?

She has a kid with

what's his name?

YD Corday.

YM Corday.

Zach.

Tap you in.

Zach, give us a grunt first.

A grunt?

Yeah.

Tennis grunt?

Yeah, women's tennis grunt.

Wait, go ahead.

Wait, Zach, go ahead.

Who is this?

Oh, it's a YB and Corday.

YBN Corday.

Who is that?

RB singer/slash rapper.

Okay, finish us off with a grunt.

That was good.

Hank, I have a question for you.

I've been noticing a lot of clips going viral on X.com, The Everything app, and they're taken from the point of view of a streamer, like somebody with one of those backpacks like Donnie has that walks around.

Have we gotten to a point where now people are pretending to be streamers just so that they can put out videos that look like they're streamers and try to go viral with those?

You know how people make fake podcasts and then they post those to their Instagram so it looks like they're being interviewed on a podcast.

Yes, and Zach can attest to this.

They also hire like clippers, they're called

to just...

Clip their streams and spam them on social media.

So it looks like they have fan accounts.

Yeah.

It's not really fan accounts.

Okay.

It's just like we get get some clippers.

I was thinking

with memes.

Oh, we have like two.

And shout out FSU Brando.

But anything that's filmed in whatever resolution that is, I don't know how many frames per second or whatever.

We should start doing those videos that we just set up ourselves and be like, oh, shit, Big Cat crashed out hard.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I don't know if anyone else is.

In the gambling cave.

Yeah.

They just always lie in the original captions to pull the viewer in.

Like, you'll see one clip and then just 10 different descriptions for it.

Oh, I get caught by those all the time.

Big cat pressed Nikki Smokes, but then Nikki crashed out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Put that in the somewhat good ideas file.

Zach, didn't you used to be one of those people?

Yes.

Wait, what?

I used to run clip accounts all the time.

For who?

You guys?

Oh.

I only meant before.

No, no.

Before.

I could have sworn that you told me before.

Different genres, but these were the big ones.

What genres?

Just

all the streamers.

Because they used to like.

What kinds?

Is that what they discord?

What was it that got you in the first interview with Gruden?

The Barcelona Clip accounts is how I got to the in-person interviews.

But

the original meta is

put together these Discord communities.

So a streamer would be like, hey, I'll pay you out this much money for this amount of views.

You just join the Discord and once a month they pay out if you like got good views on the clips.

Okay.

They pay a lot.

What types of streamers, though?

Just whoever's popping.

popping, usually IRL, because IRL is like the new meta last couple years.

But yeah, that's what you're talking about.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

Because if I see something that has that resolution, I'm like, oh, shit, something's about to happen on this live stream.

And then I watch, it always sucks.

And then I think to myself, somebody is just putting this out there and miscaptioning it to get more views.

Yeah, 100%.

Like, this person cannot be that popular.

Right.

I do also love seeing those clips on Instagram, the podcast clips, and then kind of going, clicking clicking through a couple of times and finding the podcast, and it's like seven views.

Yeah, it's not even.

Sometimes I don't think the mics are plugged in.

I think it's just all about having your face in front of a microphone that you can then take a picture of and put on.

It's like the fake jet that people sit in.

Yeah.

Oh, I like that one.

Yeah, that's actually.

We should get one of those.

Okay.

We have a lot of show.

We got picks and preview,

all games for week one.

We have Eli Manning, we have Howie Long, and then we got Firefest.

Okay, before we get to the weekend preview, football is back, and the only place fans can watch every game, every Sunday, is NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV.

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PFT.

Yep.

Power rank your four-box multi-view for week one, 1 p.m.

slate.

Okay, I've got it all planned out.

I'm ready.

I've thought about this a lot.

So I'm going to go, obviously, Commanders, Giants.

Yep.

Got to see what happens in the NFC East.

Then I have to have the double revenge game, Jets, Steelers.

Want to see that.

Then the Falcons, Bucs, those two teams, I think those are going to be the ones that are fighting for that division when it's all said and done.

Yep.

And then I am interested to see

if the Dolphins might be as bad as we think them to be.

So I'm going to go Dolphins Colts.

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Okay, boys, weekend preview time, and it is brought to you by our friends at Uber Eats.

So this episode is brought to you by Uber Eats and reminding fans that if football coincidentally makes you hungry, you can get game day deals on wings, burgers, beers, chips, and more all season long, all on Uber Eats.

What are we thinking for week one?

What are we going to eat in the cave?

Wings.

Wings?

Wings and pizza?

Wings.

Wings and pizza sounds perfect.

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Okay, boys, week one.

We're here.

I'm so excited.

It's the weekend preview for uh any new awls we're gonna go game by game give uh some thoughts and then at the end we are going to uh each have two picks one a spread pick one an over-under pick we'll also give you a td parlay and then our records at the end of the season we'll have to figure out a punishment didn't we have an idea for a punishment what was it a nipple ring nipple ring

I really don't workshop.

Yeah, let's workshop that one.

You don't want to get a nipple ring?

All right.

Couple Couple things before we get in and dive into all the games.

It's bullshit what they did to red zone.

We knew it was going to happen.

Yep.

We have to stand for the people here.

We're obviously lucky enough to be able to watch every game with all the TVs we have in the cave.

But

so it's like I'm not mad.

I'm disappointed.

Actually, no, it's not even I'm not mad.

I'm disappointed.

I was right.

Yeah, yeah, right.

It's like I expected it, so I can't be like, how could they do this?

I knew this was going to happen.

It's still bullshit that it's happening.

Scott Hanson, not saying commercial-free football is bullshit.

Scott Hanson did nothing wrong here.

I hate it.

I stand with the people.

Look what they did to our boy, Red Zone.

It's sad.

Yeah, as long as there are no conflicting sponsorships with Part of My Take sponsorships on the Red Zone channel, I'm down to boycott any company that actually puts a commercial during Red Zone.

Yeah.

Don't do it.

Now, if they are also sponsors of part of my take, I retract this completely completely because I can be bought and sold.

Stay tuned for part of my take in Saudi Arabia next fall.

Yep.

But as long as there's no conflict there, as long as we don't also endorse those companies,

you got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

Why?

And I have no problem boycotting those companies.

I'm also very disappointed that Scott Hanson, he hasn't pissed for, what, 15 years?

Yeah.

He says he's not going to piss still.

He says he's not taking bathroom breaks.

He's going to piss.

Are you telling me that if there's a two-minute commercial break, you got to go?

He's going to get up and he's going to piss.

It's a sad day.

It's a sad day in America where now we have Scott Hanson using the bathroom on Sundays.

Why not just make a custom suit for Scott Hansen and make him like a NASCAR driver?

Just stick logos all over him so he can say commercial-free because you're looking at the commercials, folks.

Come on.

It's crazy.

Really, really sad.

It is sad, but we did expect it to happen.

I wish that it didn't.

And we don't watch a lot of Red Zone anymore, but you know what you were, like the stage of life that you were in when you were watching the red zone.

Yeah.

You couldn't afford the Sunday ticket.

It was the only way that you could catch out-of-market games.

You could see every touchdown.

It was great.

And to have that taken away, the commercial free football, I'm, you know, what I'm not going to do this year?

What?

My own personal boycott?

I'm not going to post a picture of the red zone countdown clock saying,

Let's fucking go, boys.

It's here.

I'm not going to do that this year.

Yeah.

I do that like every year because I get excited about that, especially week one.

It's really the sign that you finally made it.

Never again.

I'm going to match and double.

And by double, I mean when on Sunday, when we're sitting in the cave and it's one minute left before kickoff, I'm going to close my eyes for that minute.

That's big.

I'm going to close my eyes for that entire minute.

I might delete an old picture I had of the red zone clock.

Okay.

How about that?

I like that as well.

Hank, what are you going to do?

Stand for the people.

Yeah, I'll stand for the people.

I won't even watch Red Zone.

I'll just focus on the game.

Here we go.

I was surprised.

McAfee was on his show basically

carrying water, but he was saying, like,

people aren't going to be upset about this.

It hasn't happened yet.

Well, and also, yeah, I mean,

Red Zone got bought by ESPN.

He works for ESPN.

I understand he's not going to sit there and be like, how could you do this?

He's got a.

It's politics.

I do feel a little bit more difficult.

But he was kind of like talking down where it's like people are going to pretend to be mad, but this is not going to...

It's not going to bother people.

He doesn't know that.

And not only that, we know how people are going to be really mad.

We also know how this works.

There's also people on the internet that there's a lot of people, especially NFL, that aren't on the internet that probably don't even know there's commercials still.

Correct.

And they're going to be really mad.

Really mad.

And we also know how this works because we said that they were going to add commercials when all this was announced a few months ago.

They're going to add some commercials, like commercials this year.

They're going to keep adding commercials and keep adding commercials.

You never take away commercials.

You never take away commercials.

It's not going to stop.

So it's, we got to, we got to let our displeasure known.

And I think we've done a good job of boycotting.

Anyone else going to do anything to do their part?

I also want to say for the record that if any of the sponsors that are sponsoring Red Zone want to do business with Part of My Take, I will immediately retract my boycott.

of their product.

And I will actually do an entire segment saying, you know what I actually want to watch more of on Sunday?

Commercials.

And we'll actually, the weekend preview will be just us previewing our favorite commercials.

We're happy to do that.

And you know what?

I think I wouldn't have such a problem with the commercials if I didn't know that they were just going to run the same fucking ads over and over and over and over and over again.

Like the same commercials.

We saw it.

I think the NBA playoffs, it's probably the worst example of that, where things just get drilled into your head.

It's going to be the same five commercials.

There's only five companies that advertise anymore during sports, and it's going to be those five companies.

And I'm going to get sick of it.

I'm going to be upset.

And I'm probably not going to really do anything else else besides be upset.

But it was bullshit that they made Scott Hanson go out there and say, you know, I never really thought that commercials were that big of a deal, not having him.

Like, that was the entire brand for a long time.

Do you know what I'm actually excited about that just popped back in my head?

Because I haven't seen it in a while.

On YouTube TV, The Moment is N.

Yeah.

Those are awesome on Sunday when we get to see a little manatee just like floating along.

Just take a little break.

They're also doing the, they're doing the playthrough, like the golf thing, which is like the worst viewing experience you could have yeah because you can't see anything right especially for an octobox yeah yeah then we're screwed i think it's i think it's gonna be a duel a dually

um all right so week one we're gonna they should just embrace it and just go seven ads one game octobox yeah yeah that'd be great yeah no the the seven ads in

seven ads in the all of the uh in the octobox and then the one that's the game is all eight games yeah so yeah many many many tinies

Like, what?

You're still getting to see all the games.

All right.

Quick thing before we get to week one, because this is, I try to give myself this pump-up speech before week one every year.

We don't know anything, and there's always going to be a game that surprises us.

Gambling week one is always tough.

You got to admit to yourself that it's probably

more of a coin flip than any other weeks.

I know, obviously, I'm not the best gambler.

I don't think any of us are, but especially this week where you're like, hey, we're just jumping in.

We're going to see what happens.

Here's a couple of things I'll just throw out there for people.

Divisional home underdogs are 23 and 7 against the spread since 2010 in week one.

So that would be the Browns plus 5.5, the Seahawks plus 2.5, the Falcons plus 1.5.

So throw those in there.

Obviously, the Cowboys are charity half, or no, they're on the road.

And then underdogs of 6.5 points or more are 49 and 27 against the spread in week one since 2006.

That's the Saints plus 6.5 and the Titans plus 8.5.

half.

Okay.

So we don't know anything, but if you wanted to just, I'm not like saying you should just play trends because trends always, there's a lot more to it.

Those are some trends that maybe you can jump on, especially because it's like an intuitive thing where you look at Bengals and Browns, you're like, the Bengals are so much better than the Browns.

Would the Chargers also fall under that?

I know it's played in Brazil.

I don't think so because it is the Brazilian game.

But they are the home team.

Yeah.

Technically.

All right, let's start with that game.

I agree with you because

we don't know anything.

We've just spent the entire summer doing nothing but using our imaginations, thinking about football.

What would happen if football was on right now?

Man, I wish football was on.

Oh, man, if the Chargers were playing right now, I'd bet on them in my mind.

We don't know shit right now, but that's kind of the beauty of it, too.

No team is written off.

I guess maybe the Saints.

It's the, well.

Underdogs six and a half for more, 49-27 against the spread.

I'm going to bet on the Saints.

They also started off 2-0 last year.

They were like the best team in football.

They broke all the records.

Yeah, no, I think it works both both ways because your imagination runs wild for like, oh, this team could be good.

And then you also, your memory

escapes you.

Like, Russell Wilson still stinks.

The moon ball.

But then I'm like week one.

I'm like, what if Russell Wilson is good?

You know what I mean?

Like

you forget some of the things that you shouldn't forget and you try to tell yourself, oh, no, no, this is different.

I mean, Kurt Warner, he sucked for a little bit when he was on the Giants, right?

And then he got to the Cardinals.

Yeah.

He was good again.

Yeah.

Things happen.

I'm going to probably.

Okay, yeah.

All right.

Let's get into the games.

All right.

Chiefs and Chargers.

Chargers plus three.

Over-under is 46.5.

Brazil.

This is Hank's game of the week because it's not being played in America.

I hate that it's being played in Brazil.

I kind of also,

I'm not really a big fan of the Friday night football.

I think

that's a good spot for your JMU.

to play Louisville.

I think that's a, you know, it's obviously high school in America.

Like, I don't really like the NFL taking the Friday night slot.

I don't like it either.

But if you're a fan of the team that loses on Friday night, that's the best spot to be in for a loss.

If you lose on Thursday night, your whole weekend is pretty much ruined.

You have to sit through everybody else having, you know, watching them root for their teams, thinking about what you did wrong on Thursday.

If you lose on Friday, the microscope is so much smaller on you that you almost forget what happened.

And no one's really talking about it on Sunday.

They talk about Thursday probably, but they just forget about Friday.

So you can kind of enjoy the Sunday Sunday games.

Yeah, and it's like a dog pile afterwards of college football and then NFL Sunday.

It's like, oh, shit, those teams played?

What are you going to say, Hank?

Oh, that makes sense.

Oh, I thought you raised your hand for something.

Do you like this game, Hank?

I like the Chargers a lot.

Yeah.

Jim Harbaugh is 5-0

against the spread and straight up in week ones as an NFL HUD coach.

He has not lost week one.

And Super Bowl losers are 6-9 against 6-19, sorry, against the spread since 2000.

Is there a hangover?

I don't know.

Also, is there a jet lag?

Probably.

Also, are there big butts in Brazil?

Yes.

Do you think that because I heard Travis Kelsey care?

Yes.

So that's the thing, is there was a reporter that said that Taylor is going to go to the game.

I think she's going to the game because she knows about the BBLs down there, and she's trying to make sure that Travis doesn't revert back to Killa Trav.

Because Killa Trav could come out in Brazil.

Killatrav could come out.

Taking a look around.

Kill a Trav.

I think I kind of like the Chargers too.

And that's just against the spread.

I think the Chiefs, I would still lean towards them.

They were 15-2 last year.

They were only 8-9 against the spread.

And they had a, remember that stretch of one-score games?

They were king of the one-score games.

I am, because I think everyone has to make a declaration on the Chiefs before the season.

Not whether they win the Super Bowl or not, but I think we all here right now have to make a declaration.

Will the Kansas City Chiefs win the AFC West?

I say yes.

Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on winning the AFC West.

No.

Okay, because this is an important thing, because I think this is the point of right before week one starts.

If you're doing a show,

if you're trying to get a takeoff at the bar with your friends, probably the most common one is, I don't think the Chiefs are going to win the AFC West.

Now, I do think they're going to win the AFC West.

Hank, you say no.

Who do you have winning the AFC West?

The Denver Broncos.

Okay.

Max, you agree.

I said the Broncos win the Super Bowl.

Wow.

Okay.

That was my Super Bowl pick when we did that the other day.

Are you concerned at all that by saying that you're actually helping the Chiefs?

This is exactly what they want you to do.

Yeah, fuck it.

Fuck it.

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck it.

It doesn't matter.

Yeah, if I was Max, I'd say the same thing, too.

Yeah, fuck it.

I think the Chiefs will win the AFC West.

I think they might be a little bit of a, maybe starting with this game, a little bit of a slow start just because it's hard to get back up on that mountain time and time again, but I think they'll be just fine.

And I think actually,

can Mahomes win comeback player of the the year if his numbers are like out of the out of control?

If Patrick Mahomes wins comeback player of the year for coming back from not winning the Super Bowl,

that would really piss me off.

But could it happen?

I don't think so.

I don't think he'd accept it.

But if he wins the Super Bowl, he would have to accept it.

Well, the awards given out before the Super Bowl.

Okay, so

he would not show up.

I think if he's nominated for comeback player of the year, that's just more fire to him in the playoffs.

Yeah, that's probably true.

Right now, I'm in just don't say anything bad about the Chiefs mode.

I'm not going to say anything bad about the Chiefs.

I agree with you there.

But Patrick Mahomes, just to remind you, last year was his first year as a full-time starter that he didn't get 4,000 yards.

And he had 26 touchdowns and 11 interceptions,

26 touchdowns, ties for the least amount.

And

so

he wasn't.

He wasn't the Patrick Mahomes that lit the world on fire for that five-year stretch to start his career.

I think he's going to be back to that guy.

We should also keep our eyes on the turf for this game.

Ugh.

Foreign countries don't know how to do football.

Hank wants the turf to be displayed.

You want it to be disgusting.

You want the quarterback to get hurt again like last year.

As long as it's green, Hank looks the same.

Yeah, it will look the same.

Okay.

It will be the color green.

What about the big butts?

Yeah, they look the same.

What if...

No, they don't look the same.

They don't.

That's a bad take.

They do not look the same.

You think Kansas City's got back like Brasilia?

No, that's true.

Everyone's sitting a little higher in their seats in the stadium.

Yeah, that's just a fact.

Okay, I mean, when I said the whole thing about Friday Night Football, I'm still going to watch and love this game, but I just, as a principal, I think Fridays should be left to a couple college games in high school.

High school football.

Maybe, yeah, maybe a Sunbelt game where they're playing at a conference.

And if they win that game against the ACC opponent, maybe they have a fast track to play off later on in the season, looking down the line.

Maybe the path is there.

It was scenario season last week.

The second, you know, this, the second Boise State lost, I was like, I've got my scenario now.

Yeah.

Scenarios work.

What about Tulane?

Tulane is an issue.

Yes.

But if we know, if we beat Louisville, by the way, I love saying Louisville.

Yeah.

It's one of those cities where the drunker you sound when you say it, the more correct you are.

Yeah.

I like week one, Friday night football, NFL is awesome.

Yeah, I know.

I know I haven't shut up about how you won football back.

No, no, no, hold on, hold on.

I'm so excited for for this.

I said I'm fine with this game.

I said, as a principle, Friday night should be like,

I always just assume the NFL, if they take a day, they're going to just keep taking it over and over.

This is my best friend.

A guy like me just watches football every day.

The only thing I'm worried about.

This is one of those rare days where we get to go watch a game at a bar, which is awesome on a Friday night.

I'm planning my entire Friday around watching this game.

I love that.

Although it's a streaming game, which is always difficult at a bar that I'm nervous about.

For us, Friday night games are really, the time.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm going to go watch at a bar.

I've been literally on Monday, I started texting my friends, like planning our Friday.

Like, let's go to, let's, let's get an early, early dinner and then let's go watch this game at a bar.

It's awesome.

I'm going to say I'm going to drink a Caparina during this game because it's Brazil, but then when it comes down to nut cutting time,

I'm just going to rip some beer.

I don't know what that is.

Yeah.

Oh, it's delicious.

Caperina?

Caperinha.

What's in that?

It's a Brazilian drink.

I think it's rum and sugar cane and maybe water or soda water and and a lime it's very sounds like mojito yeah you would love it you would love it um also

another example of a podcaster ripping off this show uh travis kelsey didn't know how time zones worked oh so mahomes had to explain to him how the globe works how travel works um so even though he was down in brazil i think in 2023 yeah to watch his girlfriend at the time perform yeah

uh yeah because what is brazil brazil's like what the same time zone or one hour it's a big country so there's multiple time zones yeah but like in terms of versus us right now,

what is Max doing?

He's just looking for something else.

There should just be one time zone.

There should be.

Whatever time zone we're in.

I was looking up the clip where they said it.

Brazil current time.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

So

they have a time zone right now that's the same as us, and then there's one that's three hours ahead of us.

I'm on Najee Harris' watch, too.

Apparently, he's cleared cleared to play.

He expects to play.

You could say it's the battle of a one-eyed monster between Najee Harris and Chris Jones.

Nice.

You might say that.

Did we ever see?

I think we just saw his balls.

I think there was a little bit more than there was more than his balls.

I think the meat had to do some.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Next game.

Next game.

We got Sunday.

Bucks.

We have eight games early.

Bucs at Falcons.

Falcons plus one and a half over under 46.5.

I like the Bucs, but I have a feeling that this might be like the whoa, the Falcons finally put it all together type of game that gets everyone hyped up.

And then that's when you can buy low on the, or you can, you can sell the Falcons.

Like, this could be a Kyle Pitts game.

Yeah, I was actually going to say my biggest point on this game.

I've thought about it for the past two weeks.

I'm officially back in on Kyle Pitts.

Oh, no.

I'm officially back in.

Hear me out.

I'm hearing you.

Michael Pennix.

Yep.

He's a different quarterback than has been throwing the ball to Kyle Pitts over the last two years.

That is a factual statement.

He might be smart enough to realize that Kyle Pitts is really theoretically good at football.

Correct.

And at least try to force feed him a little bit right off the top.

So I'm back in on Kyle Pitts.

I'm ready to be heard again.

Hey, listen, we all have to make these declarations before we come up with.

I have a couple that are coming up that are going to be way worse than what you just said with Kyle Pitts.

Yeah, I'm fully bought in.

Just like looking at his tape in college, looking at his speed, looking at the height, looking at the weight, looking at everything.

The wingspan.

The wingspan's weight.

The wingspan.

Are you talking about Kyle Pitts or are we doing like a fish now?

No, I'm saying like I looked at all his numbers.

Every number that's ever been written about Kyle Pitts in terms of his stature, I have looked at over the last two weeks, and I've thought to myself, this guy should be the best tight end in the NFL.

So I'm ready to believe you.

Okay, so the only thing that I'll say about Kyle Pitts, if you're just looking at numbers,

I would say

10.

That would be the number that scares me.

Is that the number of total touchdowns he has?

Yeah, in four years.

Yep.

Oh, that's a shock.

That's a terrifying number.

Oh,

here's a fun statistical anomaly that you could maybe bet on.

I don't know if they have this market on DraftKings Sportsbook.

Kyle Pitts' first season scored one touchdown.

Kyle Pitts' second season scored two touchdowns.

Kyle Pitts' third season scored three touchdowns.

Kyle Pitts' fourth season scored four touchdowns.

He will have five touchdowns this year.

Okay, hey,

that's a five-fold improvement over

here.

Listen, if Kyle Pitts can play for 20 years, he's going to have one of the greatest seasons of all time.

That's just a fact.

The back half of his career will be MVP Hall of Fame worthy.

I agree.

Yeah, that's some good growth.

It is a line chart.

It's linear.

It's going up.

It's linear.

You would invest in that stock.

If I showed you a graph of Kyle Pitts touchdowns year over year, can we actually have Shane make that for me?

I want to see the graph touchdowns, and you see that.

You buy that.

It's going directly up forever.

That's very funny that he's got

just one little tiny step forward.

I just wish if he had zero his rookie year, that would have been even better.

Yeah, that would have been great.

All right, next game up.

We've got the Bengals at Browns.

PFT, Joe Burrow has played 10 NFL games in weeks one or two in his career.

How many has he won?

10.

Two.

He has won one.

Okay.

So to say the Bengals start slow is an understatement.

He's one and nine in the first two weeks of the season.

Now, the Bengals did play a lot more in the preseason than they have in the years past.

I do think the Bengals defense is going to take some time and maybe take so much time, you have to wait until next year, too,

which would be a lot of time.

Yeah, it's a work in progress.

I'm going to probably take the Browns plus five and a half.

I don't know if they can win the game, but it just goes to the divisional dogs and Joe Flacco.

Yeah, Joe Flacco, he still has an arm.

He can still throw the ball.

I also think that his job is safe.

Yeah.

I don't think that they're going to put in.

So we were talking about this earlier, but in terms of like the Giants, they've got a quarterback decision to make at some point this year, probably, right?

And the Browns have a quarterback decision to make.

I think that Flacco will be the starter for much longer than Russell Wilson because Kevin Stavansky has two decisions to make.

One, time to bench Flacco.

Two, which guy do I replace Flacco with?

And if I were him, I would be in no hurry to make that decision because half your fan base will probably hate you, whichever guy you select to replace Flacco.

You're basically, Kevin Stavansky basically has to treat this season

like a

big chore or thing that he knows.

Like he has to go to the DMV at some point.

He's got to get real ID.

Let's say, hypothetically speaking, someone in this room still doesn't have real ID.

And he's just like, I don't actually want to do this, but he knows he has to.

He's going to wait as long as possible.

You're not going to find anybody rooting harder for Flacco to be great than Kevin's Defense.

Correct.

He is going to be putting him in every, like how they intentionally sabotage Sador's career in the preseason.

He's going to do the opposite of that with Joe Flacco, make sure that he's great.

I loved his quote that he said yesterday.

He said, I play football.

That's what I do.

I'm a football player.

That's fair.

And it's so true.

And it's such an understatement that it really is, it's like George O'Keefe being like, I like orchids.

Steve Pallmer being like, I like trees.

Loves trees.

This is Flacco.

This is what he does.

He's a football player.

He's looked pretty good the last couple years.

And it's also week one where you're not banged up.

You're not old.

Week one is new for everyone.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm probably going to take the Browns plus five and a half.

It's kind of a gross one.

I don't think I'm going to do that, but I am going to root for Flacco.

Yeah.

All right.

This is a gross one because Dolphins are Colts.

Colts minus one and a half over under 47.5.

I am going to take the Colts in this game and a little trivia for you.

Last time the Colts won a week one game

was 2013.

Both quarterbacks in that game

took their last snap in the NFL in 2018.

Who are those quarterbacks?

So that's how crazy, that's how long it's been.

The two quarterbacks in the last time the Colts won a week one game, I think they threw in a tie somewhere in there, but the last time the Colts won a week one game,

both those quarterbacks have been retired for seven years.

Andrew Luck is correct.

Andrew Luck and

it was the Raiders.

Ooh.

It was the Raiders.

Raiders.

It was Terrell Pryor.

Oh, no shit.

Yeah.

Both took their last stop between.

That's how long it's been.

Daniel Jones was a junior in high school the last time the Colts won a week one game.

Every single player on the Colts roster right now was not on an NFL roster.

That's almost like a given.

But it's pretty crazy that it's been that long.

And

now the question is,

are we diving headfirst into the Colts?

I am.

Shane Steichen said he's our starting quarterback for the season in terms of Daniel Jones.

Don't want to have a quick leash on that.

So that feels good, I guess.

And I'm making a bet on the Dolphins maybe being a bad vibes team.

Did you see that Tua said he and Tyreek are good now?

They're good.

Yeah, they're not great.

But here's a problem I have.

I want to throw out something to you.

Tua said, I think once people see Tyreek score on Sunday, everyone will forget about that.

That meaning Tyreek demanding a trade and Tua being like, he's got to win back the locker room.

So I think once people see Tyreek score on Sunday, everyone will forget about that.

So we're in a good spot and we've been in a good spot for some time as well.

So I'm really happy with that.

What if Tyreek doesn't score on Sunday?

Do we still remember that?

I think if he still, if he gets over 100 yards or a touchdown.

He said, though, I think once people see Tyreek score on Sunday, everyone will forget about that.

If Tyreek Hill does not score, we will not forget.

I don't think, are we talking about the same league, the NFL?

You think that just because somebody performs well on the field, we all forget about all the stuff that they do off the field?

No.

No.

Not my NFL.

But we should also, it was kind of an insult stat about the Colts not winning since, what, 2013?

2013, yeah.

They did tie.

Yeah, I said to threw in a tie.

Yeah, yeah, they tied it in 2022.

Yeah, they threw in a tie.

It's going to be an uphill battle for the Dolphins.

It is Jim Ursay Day.

Yes.

At the Colts Stadium.

Special something.

They're putting him in the ring of honor.

They're doing a moment of silence.

I don't think it should be a moment of silence, though.

I think it should be just a moment of rocking out.

Yeah.

Everyone light up a SI in the stands for Ursa.

Everyone look under your seats.

There's

a famous guitar.

Yeah, everyone gets a guitar.

It's guitar day

at Lucas Oil Stadium.

Maybe play some Jackson Brown.

Jimmy Page's guitar is under your seat.

It would be, I don't think he would want a moment of silence.

He would want something a little more hardcore than that.

A ruckus, yeah.

That'd be an awesome game to have tickets to.

Are they?

Oh, it would be an awesome game to have tickets.

You want to get tickets to that game?

You want to look it up?

Do you guys have any?

Are you asking me about that?

Okay, so Hank, here's where I'm at with that.

I don't know if I have tickets to that game or not.

What do you mean?

Oh.

So

I looked at this earlier today because we have given out Colts season tickets after.

I bought season tickets once Jim Ursa led the charge again, cigarette in hand, against Dan Snyder.

I owed him everything from that point on.

I became a Colts season ticket holder.

It auto-renewed on me after that first year.

Forgot to cancel.

I think it auto-renewed again last year, but I can't find any tickets in my account.

The last email that I have from the Colts is, hey, heads up.

Your season tickets are set to auto-renew at midnight, January 31st, my birthday.

I don't think I opened up that email and denied the auto-renew.

I'd say it's 50-50.

I might have season tickets.

Maybe you're like, did you switch cards?

I emailed the guy and checked up on it.

He has not gotten back to me yet.

So I did try to figure out if I had tickets at this game or not.

If I do have tickets, I'll figure out a way to give it to somebody

that will go there and honor Mr.

Ursay in the proper form.

You know what?

Even if you have tickets.

Why don't you buy one ticket?

No, I was going to say leave the seats open for Mr.

Ursay.

That would be a very nice.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, you should just say

the seats will be open for the year.

So if you see

lots of empty seats at Lucas Oltima, it's because I bought a ton of tickets

and I'm leaving them all open for Mr.

Ursa.

Yes.

Yeah, that's a problem that you don't know if you have season tickets.

We're working on that right now.

I somehow lucked into doing that because I remember I think I couldn't figure it out, and I just bought game by game that one year, which was

much better.

Also, in this game, reminder: Darren Waller is on the Dolphins.

Yeah, he's playing football again.

He is.

So I don't know if he's going to play or not, but he is technically a dolphin.

He is a dolphin.

Okay, next up,

we have Cardinals and Saints.

Saints plus six and a half, over under 43.5.

You said you were going to believe in Kyle Pitts.

I'm going to bet on Spencer Rattler.

It is gross.

Yeah, this is.

Hey, whoa, Hungry Dog Boy.

Not Spencer Rattler.

Ah, maybe Spencer Rattler.

And fast forward, make that memes, make that video when I just am like on Monday's podcast.

Why did I bet on Spencer Rattler?

Yeah.

Hungry rabid dog walking in the highway.

It's not that I don't believe, I kind of don't believe in Spencer Rattler, but it's more that I'm officially on Alvin Kamara Mystery Injury Watch.

Yeah.

It could happen at any second.

So treasure every Alvin Kamara carry, treasure every pass that he catches out of the backfield.

I'm sure that Spencer's going to be looking his way a lot when he's on the field.

But if we're being honest with each other, it feels like this is going to be a season where Kamara is just like, why am I doing this to my body?

Yeah.

You know, he's only 30?

Yeah.

Did you guys have the same moment?

I think probably a lot of people who are listening right now had this moment where you were doing your fantasy draft.

No one cares about your fantasy team, where you just, for...

30 of the 30 seconds of the one minute you had to pick, you just kind of like hovered around Kamara's name and you're like, nah, I can't.

I can't do that.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

Because the name is there and it was like, it got to a point where he was technically the highest rated running back left.

And I was like, I can't.

I can't do this.

I got a little bit of trivia for this matchup for you, big cat.

Oh, okay.

What do you think the all-time record between these two teams is?

I'm going to make this game mean something.

Five and five.

16 and 16.

Okay.

I just don't remember any time these two teams play.

Yeah, even though they're in the same conference, it doesn't feel like they ever play.

So this is a tie-breaking game for them.

It means a lot, okay?

And then the second thing is, do you know when the last time was that the Cardinals were road favorites on opening weekend?

Probably

after their Super Bowl, they went to the Super Bowl?

Hank's close.

Yeah, so after they went to their Super Bowl?

Yeah, it was 2010.

Okay.

They were three-point favorites.

Sam Bradford was the quarterback of the St.

Louis Rams that day.

Oh.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

This is a stinky game.

But I think this might be the far TV.

Yeah.

I think so.

Far TV?

Yeah, because we have that eighth TV that like you can kind of just see every now and then.

Yeah.

What's going on?

I'm down for that.

There's a couple ones I'm looking at.

Steelers Jets.

That's what I was thinking.

What?

Bucks, Falcons.

Steelers, Jets.

What?

If we're going unbiased, because you guys both have your games at 1 o'clock or noon Central.

This is henemy speaking.

I would rather watch the Commanders.

Okay, but if I'm going unbiased, I think it should be Bucs Falcons.

That would be my unbiased pick.

That's the best.

That's the best game.

Bucks, Falcons, Commanders, Giants, Steelers, Jets.

Or, I mean, Patriots, Raiders, Steelers, Jets.

Okay.

In that order?

Yeah.

That was a henemi move.

Not to me.

I like Bengals Browns, too.

I think that's a fun.

It's a good move.

Looking Looking at those teams on a TV always feels fun.

Yeah, it does.

The Saints are wearing some weird uniforms for this game.

Oh, that's.

So even more reason to put on the far TV.

Yeah, and even more reason to bet on the Saints.

Yep.

All right.

Steelers and Jets.

Jets plus three over-unders, 38.5.

Also, that's the lowest total of the whole

early slate.

Yeah, probably not Steelers, Jets.

Memes, you almost made it to the start of the season until you got Rossini'd.

On Wednesday morning, she tweeted out that

Tucker, right?

Yeah, Elijah Vera Tucker.

Elijah Vera Tucker, one of your best offensive linemen,

possibly out for the season with an arm injury.

Yeah, tricep injury.

I feel terrible for him.

This is his second tricep injury on the different arm now.

This was a contract year for him.

He just got voted captain,

and now he's just out for the rest of the year.

That's tough.

How much blame do you put on her, on Rossini?

It was her first report about the Jets, and it was a negative report.

Well,

it was a fact, though.

It was a fact, but it was also negative.

So, you like a fair amount of blame.

Do you think that she enjoyed reporting that?

Yeah, she knew what she was doing.

Her head was spinning.

Do you think she thought of you when she made that report?

I can tell.

Let me jump in real quick.

I know her pretty well.

Yeah, 100%.

Yes.

Yes, yep.

She's like, memes and I hate this.

She is number one for Florio.

Yeah, she knows what she's doing.

I got a question for you guys.

What is more likely,

which streak is more likely to be broken this year?

The Steelers, eight seasons without a playoff victory, which is their longest such drought since the 1970 NFL-AFL merger?

Or the Jets, who are tied for the longest drought in all of American professional sports in terms of playoffs drought, 14 years, tied with the Sabres.

Would Prisco tell us, like, if Justin Fields can play...

said, what were his exact words, memes?

Memes, what's up?

Sabers are in the lead right now.

Because they already played their 14th season?

So they lead.

Got it, because I saw your face.

You're like, no, I don't want that.

It flip-flops at the end of the season, end of each season.

So if they don't make it this year, Jets will be one.

Once the Sabres don't make it, then.

It sounds like you're very in tune with the Sabres-Jets playoff drought discourse.

Yeah, because it's an insult graphic every single year.

How can it flip-flop, though?

Wouldn't one team just catch the other team?

It'd be tied?

Well, no, the Jets.

The Jets are broken.

So the Sabres are at 15, then the Jets will take over.

Sabres are in the clubhouse right now.

At 15.

The Jets can still come in.

The Jets are at 14 right now.

Yes.

So at the end of the season, the Jets will tie the Sabres.

But they're in the lead because the NHL season is currently going on.

So you don't know.

That part doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I believe you.

I see what he's saying.

I'm falling.

It's in the middle of the season, so they could be.

They could break it.

Okay, gotcha.

All right, but which one is more likely?

Which streak is more likely to be broken?

I actually might say Jets, if I had that bet.

So

I think the Steelers are going to win a playoff game this year.

You do?

I think they're going to win one U.S.

playoff game.

Yes.

One?

I think they're going to win one playoff game this year.

Against who?

I don't know.

We have to play the season.

That's true.

You don't believe that.

I do.

I think the Steelers are going to win a playoff game.

You believe in Aaron Rodgers right now?

I believe in.

Yeah, a little bit, yeah.

See, see, you that was something that you just said that you don't actually

believe in Aaron Rodgers.

Top five quarterback last year.

You believe in the idea of him.

I believe that Aaron Rodgers at his best is going to be a massive upgrade for the Steelers over what they've had in the past.

Aaron Rodgers at his best was four years ago.

I mean, at his best now.

If they wring the last tiny little droplets droplets out of him that are his best energy this year, and you distill those, I think that he is definitely good enough to win one playoff game.

Also, the culture change is huge.

Going on?

Bad culture to good culture.

Oh, you're not saying, like, gotcha.

You're saying the Jets have bad culture.

Yes.

So you said the Jets.

He's going from a bad culture to a good culture.

The Jets wronged Aaron Rodgers last year.

Yeah, no one has any chance when you're playing for the Jets.

Well, what about

his Achilles didn't snap week one?

Could have been a different story, but we'll never know.

He could have changed.

If you're a strong enough culture guy, then you should be able to change the culture.

Correct.

Yeah.

No, you can't change a culture when you're that old.

If you're that good.

Well, he got hurt.

He never had the real chance.

That's true.

But to PFT's point, because I actually agree with him, even though he wavered a little on the stand there, because

I'm flipping it back.

I think Steelers maybe win a playoff game.

Yeah.

It's more.

Oh, I mean, I'm just taking notes.

No, I agree.

I agree.

Okay.

So everyone was yelling at me, and you all agree.

I don't agree.

I don't agree.

We were yelling more because it was funny because when you were asked if you believe in him, you're like, yeah.

I mean, that's exactly how much I believe in him.

I think I portrayed myself accurately.

Yeah.

Is Aaron Rodgers better than late Ben Rotzberger, Mason Rudolph, Kenny Pickett, and Justin Fields.

Those are the week one starters for the Steelers since they have had this playoff draft.

I say absolutely yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, if they use him correctly, like the Jets made him throw a thousand times a game.

If you run the football, rely on your defense,

don't turn the ball over,

you could win a playoff game and go far.

By winning one playoff game.

But I'm not saying go far, I'm saying one playoff game.

But I think the Steelers' defense is that good that if

Aaron Rodgers And if Rodgers gets in the playoffs, like that's a guy you want as a QB in the playoffs.

Been there.

Done that.

So going to this game,

where's the revenge factor at its highest?

Do you think Aaron Rodgers has more like hatred of the Jets or do you think Justin Fields has more to get revenge on for the Steelers?

Double revenge game.

So what

Aaron Rodgers was saying, Aaron Rodgers said he loved the Jets.

I think the revenge is all on Aaron Glenn for kicking out the building.

Oh, he hates Aaron Glenn.

I think it's Aaron Glenn versus Aaron Rodgers.

So couldn't he just like

feels just fighting for his life?

Yeah, but he's not like scorned.

Yeah.

Couldn't Aaron Rodgers just take care of that?

Like just

call a play towards the Jets sidelines and just miss the receiver and just hit Aaron Glenn like right in the nuts?

Like first play of the game.

Then he doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

He could.

That would be awesome.

If he still has it, he would do that.

Yeah, he has that accuracy.

And then after the game, he's just like, yeah, I said I hated the guy.

I took care of it.

I took care of my business on the field.

If I'm getting inside his brain, hallucinogenics, they're not really revenge drugs.

No.

I think, yeah, the only thing he hates about the Jets is probably those damn chemtrails.

Got to figure out what's going on.

What is happening?

Yeah.

Yeah, I like the Steelers this year.

I don't know.

I might be dumb.

I like the Jets in this game.

I do.

I like some dogs this week, Hank.

Are you going to give us a hungry dog by the way?

Yeah.

Speaking of giving us some, Hank, game time, before we get to the next game, game time,

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Okay, PFT.

The Giants, Commanders, Commanders, six-point favorites.

Over-under is 45.5.

I have the Giants circled as my

muck-it-up team that's not going to win a lot of games, but will be in a lot of games.

I think their defensive line is going to be very, very good.

I think I'm a little bit worried about Abdul Carter.

By the way.

Oh,

I thought you meant like, yeah, yeah.

Worried about him rushing the past.

I'm worried about him just destroying everything that's brought me joy for the last year.

Yeah.

Have you seen his signature?

I have.

So this is, it's a travesty.

And if there's one thing we do on this program, it's we speak on behalf of adult male autograph collectors.

And they're not happy with Abdul Carter because he's been signing autographs.

And his signature is just the at sign.

which I guess makes an A and a C.

I like that.

And people are mad at him because

people are are mad at him because the signature isn't prestigious enough to make their trading cards worth more.

They're very upset at another man for how he signs his own name.

I think it's successful.

Which is the funniest reason to be mad at another man for.

But it's okay.

It makes sense, too.

I know it looks like the at.

Yeah.

It's an A and a C.

I know.

That's a great signature.

I know.

It's succinct.

He can fire off like a million signatures a minute.

Yeah.

It's very

economic when it comes to how he spends his time signing autographs.

I just love that people are pissed off at him and they want him to change his own signature so that their cards can be worth more money.

I agree.

That's a very funny thing to get upset about.

Do we think.

What if John Hancock had signed the Declaration of Independence with an emoji?

Would that be cool?

Yeah, it would have been sick.

Yeah, it probably would have rocked.

Yeah.

Do we think?

Well, if it was just John Han and then an eggplant.

Yeah, what if it was a toilet, a hand, and an eggplant?

That'd be a good one, yeah.

Do we think that Russell Wilson is a little looking over his shoulder now that Jackson Dart is officially QB2?

Because that was a

discussion of like, hey, if Jameis is QB2, Russell Wilson doesn't have to worry because they're not going to put in Jameis over Russell.

They ended up making Jackson Dart QB2.

Giants fans, I think, want to see what they have.

Brian Dable's on the hot seat going into this season.

It's just something to look at.

He is not in the doghouse, obviously, because he's a starter, but he's got a very short leash.

He's the opposite of Daniel Jones.

He had a very, very short leash on Russell Wilson this year, I think.

He knows.

I don't think he's happy about it.

Russell Wilson, I think he's a guy that thinks that he should start for the next five years at quarterback.

Yeah,

I'm excited about this game.

I haven't gone into a season with expectations in a very long time.

Like a depressingly long.

I think the last time I had expectations for a season was probably 2006.

Didn't end well.

So I don't really know.

I'm kind of fluctuating back and forth between being the most excited I've ever been and also just like terrified of what's going to happen.

Because as much fun as last year was for me, the Commanders weren't a very good team until the very end of the season.

And then in the playoffs, they played pretty well.

But they had a bunch of close games.

They managed a lot of crazy fourth downs.

A lot of weird shit happened in their games.

They weren't good defensively.

They were very good offensively.

But

I don't know whether I should be excited or terrified.

I think you should be excited.

I am excited.

But I question my

second guess.

Max.

My excitement.

Max has pulled up.

This is a list of QBs the Commanders beat last year.

Any thoughts

on the list is Daniel Jones.

You want to expand that?

Because I don't think that specific is exciting.

Daniel Jones

twice.

I put your tweet in there.

Kenny Pickett, Trey Trey Lee.

You're the reason I saw this.

Kyler Murray, Andy Dalton, Caleb Williams, Chay Kainer, and Spencer Rattler.

Michael Penix, Joe Burrow.

He's good.

Deshaun Watson, Will Levis.

Okay, one.

I thought we settled this last time that Jaden Daniels.

You're the one who tweeted about this today.

I thought we settled this last time that Jaden Daniels doesn't play against other quarterbacks.

He plays against defenses.

I'm looking at that list right now.

First-round pick, first-round pick, first-round round pick, first round pick.

Was Andy Dalton?

Second round pick?

No, Andy Dalton, I think, was first round pick.

First round pick.

I don't know where Jake Hayner was drafted.

Zesty.

First round pick, first round pick, first round pick, first round pick.

It's a lot of first round pick.

Oh, Will Levis was second round.

Second round pick.

And then it also conveniently leaves off Baker Mayfield, first round pick, Jared Goff, first round.

Actually, that's a shitload of first overall quarterbacks you beat.

Yeah.

He might have set the the record less.

You just switched it from first round to first overall.

No, but it's both.

That might be a world record for most first overall quarterbacks beaten by a

lot of first overalls.

There are a lot of first overalls.

Andy Dalton, second overall.

Second round.

Second overall.

Second round.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no.

It's not a second overall.

So, yeah, thank you for that great graphic because all you're telling me is he beat a lot of very talented people.

The only reason I saw this on the timeline today was because you were commenting on it.

Well, because somebody made a list of the quarterbacks, and then they just didn't leave, they didn't include Jared Goff and Baker Mayfield on it.

So I had to include those.

I think the Commanders are going to be just fine this year, and I think the only thing that sucks for you, PFT, is playing the Giants week one.

I think they're going to win this game, but it's not going to look great.

So no matter what, if the Commanders, Redskins, football team are not good, they would always play the Giants tough.

When the Giants are not good, they would always play against us tough.

Yeah, the both games last year, I think, were decided by under a touchdown.

This, oh, yeah, this is uh running back the famous handoff.

Yeah, this is the handoff game, the handoff game.

Who could forget?

Uh, so yeah, I would probably take the Giants against the spread, but I think the commanders are going to win.

I think the Giants will keep a lot of games.

I think the Giants are the team that you'll look up in the second half of most games and be like, why is that?

It's 13-10?

Oh, that's ugly.

And it's just, that's just what they're built to do.

Okay, going to, oh, no, we have one more early game.

Panthers and Jaguars.

Jaguars minus three and a half over under is four.

Oh, two more.

Over, I forgot, yeah, that one as well.

Panthers and Jaguars minus three and a half, over-unders, 46.5.

I actually think this is going to be a fun game to watch.

Go on.

I think both defenses kind of stink, and I think the offenses might be good.

The defenses do stink.

Right.

Big time.

So I think I'm going to probably take this over.

Be a fun game to watch.

So in yards per play,

the Panthers were 31st last year.

The Jaguars were 32nd last year.

They'll probably improve a little bit.

I'm very excited to see what happens with Travis Hunter.

I don't think anybody really knows.

They've done a good job of

just like keeping everyone guessing.

I want to see what they do with that young man.

Yeah.

I kind of want to take Travis Hunter and score a touchdown.

We kind of owe it to him, don't we?

Yeah,

what's that?

I kind of want to do that.

That's just a fun thing to do.

What happens if he gets like a pick six?

That would be

plus 180 on the DraftKings Sports book.

Oh, they really think he's going to score a touchdown.

Huh.

What if he scores two, offense and defense?

I'm interested to see what happens with the Panthers and their pass catchers because obviously they got Tet McMillan, Xavier Legette in year two, but Coker's hurt and Adam Thielen got traded away.

Those are two guys that Bryce Young liked a lot down the stretch when he had his resurgence.

Yeah, so they're facing off against each other because

it is an anniversary.

Both teams got brought into the league in 1995.

Yeah.

And so they're like, what better way to commemorate that moment than to have them play

in week one of 2025?

Yeah.

History on the line.

I just remember when they unveiled the logos of both teams.

Like, whoa, that's crazy.

We're doing cats.

Both are cats.

Wild.

They had some crazy uniforms, too.

The Jaguars.

I want to say the Jaguars had a wild combo.

The Panthers, I don't think.

The Panthers were pretty straightforward.

The Jaguars had one wild combo, didn't they?

In their opening season.

Early, yeah.

I like the almost cartoon Jaguar that they had on the side.

Yeah.

That they had on the sleeve.

That was a good Jaguar.

Yeah.

Okay.

Last early game.

Raiders at Patriots.

Patriots minus two and a half, over under 43.5.

Hank, how are you feeling?

I'm excited.

I've been as excited as I have been probably the last four years.

Since Belichick left, Belichick and Brady.

I think we're going to be really good.

What happens if you lose this game?

I think it's, you know, Rabel's first game as a coach.

He's got to retool some things, but we'll be all right.

You know how old Pete Carroll is?

80.

72?

He's 73.

He turned 74 next week.

By coaching this weekend, he's going to be the oldest NFL head coach to ever coach in a game.

That's crazy.

He's going to set the record on Sunday, and he looks like he's 60 years old.

Yeah.

Yeah, the AFC West has like all the Super Bowls.

They have five Super Bowls in

their coaching.

Three out of four of the head coaches in the AFC West have a Super Bowl.

I do think that Carroll's going to do a great job.

I think both these teams are actually going to be much better than they were last year.

I do, too.

Just by the fact that they got two really, really good head coaches.

Yeah, it's like consistency.

And yeah, I mean,

they took chances on.

like the ex-player coach.

Now they're like, hey, let's go back to what these guys are really good.

Oh, Jerry just sent me that.

We'll wait for this later.

I'm not going to watch this right now.

It's a max.

I know that you've been locked into the roster.

Is Christian Gonzalez playing?

I don't believe so.

Okay.

All right.

There you go.

For your defense.

He's really good.

Also, Mari Cooper retired.

Yeah.

He just was like, you know what?

I don't really want to play anymore.

Football's not for me.

Not for me.

Also, this is a really fun matchup of rookie running backs.

Yes.

Trayvion Henderson, Ashton Genty.

I kind of forgot Ashton Genty was on the Raiders.

I think I'm going to remember quickly when he starts playing.

It's kind of a fun one.

Yeah, not me.

I saw him in the preseason.

I was like, that dude, special.

Special.

This made me think back to all the college highlights.

So special.

Doesn't appear close to playing in week one.

Okay.

Seems very doubtful.

Hank, did you see that?

Stephon Diggs playing.

I think so.

Yeah.

Okay, that's good.

Hank, did you see the news today about a former coach that you had with the New Wins?

It's actually Patriots news.

I did see this.

So Bill Belichick and the UNC Tar Heels have banned Patriot scouts from attending practices.

Is that it?

Yep.

Why is that?

I don't understand that.

Apparently someone else tweeted

there's another team as well, which is just, it seems very petty.

So Bill, you think it was Bill's call?

I feel like Bill

runs everything, so you'd have to assume so, yeah.

Does he?

You think it was Jordan's?

I didn't say, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.

It's not Bill's, then who's who are you implying?

Lombardi.

No, I don't think it was Lombardi.

I saw something that Lombardi has like, like all his sons

got like half a million dollar jobs for UNC.

That's awesome.

One of them was like, said he was.

I'd have to look it up because I don't want to speak out of turn.

Maybe look it up, memes.

One of his sons was

not even,

not the offensive coordinator.

I don't even think the QB coach.

I think he was like a quarterback something at Oregon last year and was like, yeah,

my,

I like helped

make Dylan Gabriel, who Dylan Gabriel was like 25 and had already played a lot of college football.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, what is it?

Matt Lombardi, son of Michael Lombardi, offensive coach, previously coached at University of Oregon,

Oregon, sorry.

Yeah.

Quarterback coach.

Okay.

And all he did was, I think, for a year, just

I kind of respect how they just got all the Belichicks, all the Lombardies.

I respect how they're kind of treating a major level college football program like

a crypto coin.

Yeah, or like a tree company in South LA or California.

It's Bill Coin.

I had a weird thought.

Do you think Drake May and Bill Belichick have ever met?

And also, do you think Drake May is kind of mad at Bill Belichick?

Why would he be mad?

Because

he probably hears from...

It's just a weird, funny thing that Drake May was drafted right after Bill Belichick got fired, and then Bill Belichick went and took the head coaching job at UNC where Drake May was quarterback.

He probably knows some guys on the team.

Manny Miles.

Shout out to Manny Miles.

He's one of the only guys that stayed.

He's been out Carolina.

Got it.

So he was there with Drake May.

Do you think...

Do you think they've talked?

I think they've talked.

If UNC has a really bad season, do you think Drake May is going to be like,

fuck what the fuck, Bill Belichick?

Well, he's probably pissed off that they won't allow his team scouts to watch now.

I think this offseason,

he probably talked to Bill at some point, and he was probably excited last Monday night.

Yeah.

And he was like, well, what if we're just really good?

It's going to be a reminder, put in a reminder, Zach, in 20 years from now when we're still doing the show.

This is an all-time

timeline crossing that will have everyone thinking that

Drake May played for Bill Belichick with the Patriots or even Drake May played for Bill Belichick with UNC.

But they just switched.

Yeah, because they're so close in time that in 20 years, we'd be like, yeah, of course they, of course, Drake May played for Bill Belichick at some point.

So the reminder should be remind the world that they did not actually play with each other.

No, no, opposite.

Remind the world that they did play together just to continue the confusion.

Okay.

Like 20 years is when we're going to start getting confused about the timeline.

I want to really embrace the confusion.

So start intentionally just dropping things in like, man, like one of the all-time great college coach, college quarterbacks, Belichick, Drake May.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have a feeling in 20 years, it's going to be a stump trivia question to be like, what college team did Bill Belichick coach for?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't think so.

I think that one's going to be easy.

All right, I'll try.

20 years?

UNC.

I think this is going to be

a memorable season.

Yeah.

I think it's going to be very, very self.

Damn, you don't believe in your guy, huh?

One game, you're already done.

Already cooking him.

No, not at all.

Would you take him back on the Patriots right now if you picked up the phone?

Yes.

You'd have to get rid of Mike Vrabel.

No, maybe.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Vrabel's going to kill you.

Uh-oh.

I love them both.

This is like

picking your mom, picking your dad.

Or it's like picking your dad or picking your older brother.

Okay.

Okay.

It's a tough choice.

You love them both.

But, you you know.

Vrabel is your older brother.

In this scenario, yeah.

Okay.

But Bill Belichick is, you know, the reason

the family is here.

Yeah.

He's the reason Vrabel's here.

He's the reason I'm here.

But what about the fact that your younger half-sister is dating your dad?

Families are complicated, man.

Every family is different.

Every family is tough.

Deal with these things in-house.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Let's go to the afternoon.

Titans at Broncos.

Wait, did you give an official prediction you're going to win this game?

Yeah.

Okay.

Titans at Broncos.

Broncos minus 8.5, over-under, 42.5.

I'm going to say something crazy.

Don't.

Don't do it.

Listen, here's my only argument, okay?

And I know this is a shot.

They're eight and a half point underdogs.

Every single year, week one, there's at least one game that we're like, what the fuck?

And you think that you're zeroing in on that?

Why not?

I've got a data point to back in.

Why not?

You want the data point?

Yeah, give me the data point.

So

Cam Ward has played one time in Colorado since he's been to college.

Okay.

It was at Colorado State

2022.

Okay.

What team is he?

It might have been 2023.

Wazoo.

Okay.

451 yards, three touchdowns.

They won.

They scored 50 points.

Interesting data point.

He loves

playing in Colorado.

He loves the altitude.

Loves the altitude.

Mr.

Altitude.

Now, conversely, you could say no rookie quarterback has won a week one roadstart since 2018.

And they're eight and a half point underdogs.

And there's that, too.

And the Broncos have a lot of hype.

And I think the Broncos are very good.

I'm just more taking my shot of, like, there's got to be one game.

And it's a very stupid thing to try to do because there will be one game.

But just by the, just doing this exercise of trying to predict that one game proves that it won't be this game.

Does that make sense?

Because it's got to be a game that no one saw coming.

You can't snipe it.

So trying to say you saw it coming, you've already defeated the whole purpose of this game, but you could also say that real quick about every other game like this.

That's true, and then you could take away the power.

Okay, I think that game is going to be the Saints, I think that game's going to be the Panthers.

There's not really many, I think it's going to be the Giants, maybe the Falcons, maybe that's a close spread.

I'm talking like someone who's like more than a

field goal plus underdog.

Okay, I mean, we had it last year.

Remember, the uh

uh no, the Patriots beat the Bengals, yeah,

The Raiders beat the Ravens week two.

There's just weird shit happens in September that we then look back in week 17 and we say, wait, how did the Raiders beat the Ravens?

And week three,

was that two years ago?

That was when the Broncos got 70 points put on them by the Dolphins.

Yeah.

Remember that?

Your Monday night football game last year.

Yep.

The commanders beating the Bengals.

Yep.

And everyone was like, oh, well, how is this first?

And then we look back.

That one's a little different because we look back and we're like, oh, that makes sense.

But there's always something that will shock us early in the season.

Yeah, the Saints beating the Cowboys last year, 44-19.

Just look out for it.

That's all I'm saying.

Yeah, the Broncos are probably going to kill him.

I do like the Broncos.

But I'm starting to get to the point where the Broncos have become everyone's sexy, brand new team that alarm bells are going off.

We call it the Regis Philbin team.

Yeah.

When Regis Philbin used to, God rest his soul, when he used to go on Good Morning America and be like, I like this team.

He'd be like, all right, that's it.

When I hear Max say something, I pick up the phone and go, yeah, there's a bubble.

Yeah, exactly.

Regis has picked the Broncos.

Yep.

Sell.

What are you going to say, Max?

It's just crazy.

Memes brought this up.

The Saints had a point differential of 91 to 29 to start the year last year.

Everyone last year was like

revolutionizing office.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

49ers, the Seahawks,

don't know.

Gonna just take the Seahawks as a divisional game, and they're the underdog.

Yeah, I mean, do people forget that Sam Darnold also got rehabbed by Kyle Shanahan?

Yeah.

Because it's all gone to Kevin O'Connell.

He got the double dose.

He got the best double dose he could possibly get.

Yeah.

He got the hydroxychloroquine and the

what's the other one?

Ivermectin.

Yeah, he got both of them.

And so he's like been totally healed.

I'm excited to see how his face looks in the Seahawks helmet.

Yeah.

I think it's going to look really wide.

I do too.

That's my

sense about this game.

And I also think you got to remember that Brandon Ayuk's not playing, right?

He's not playing.

They treated Debo.

Neither is Demarcus Robinson.

So they need Ricky Pearsall to step up.

Juan Jennings, we don't know right now.

Yeah.

At the time we're taping.

So yeah, Ricky Pearsall.

But apparently he's been awesome.

He's been incredible in training camp.

Yeah.

No, I know that he's someone that everyone's looking at like breakout year.

I just, again, this is a week one.

I do think the Niners are going to be good this year, but I'm just going to take the home underdog in a divisional game.

Yeah.

Also, look for Jalen Milro, maybe.

Ooh.

They might get him out there.

Little package.

A little package.

Lions and Packers.

This is a good game.

I'm going to do something right now to guard myself.

I'm going to take the Packers in this game.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL.

I don't even think it's close.

Not close.

They're going to win the Super Bowl.

What about this?

Parsons.

This is an emotional.

Michael Parsons.

Put it up.

Micah Parsons

might be injured.

The back injury might be real.

Well, we're going to talk to Howie Long right now in a a minute, and he did the alleged.

Yeah, but they're talking about injecting him with epidurals and shit.

Yeah.

You guys are going to be taking back shots.

PFT, I don't, I don't think it matters.

I think the Packers, even without Micah Parsons, are the best team in the NFL.

Okay, I like this doubling down.

I'm just saying, do you know how tough you have to be as a man to take back shots?

That's true.

Like, it's not

women take back shots.

Yeah.

When you're giving birth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She has multiple children.

No, but yeah, the epidurals.

It doesn't.

Again, I think I said this on Monday, but backs don't tend to really improve that much.

You just kind of got to manage them.

But you're probably right.

He's like the best in the world at what he does.

The Packers were already a great roster.

And I just want to be fully transparent with everyone.

If the Packers somehow don't win the Super Bowl, which would be pretty crazy if they don't, I will be first in line saying I was wrong.

First.

First in line saying I was wrong.

You're going to start the line.

I will start the line saying I was wrong.

Hand up.

The Packers were not as good as I thought they were.

I think you got to lead a line.

I think to do a procession.

I'll be the number one guy in the line saying, hey, guys, I got it wrong.

I thought the Packers were the best team by far, and I was wrong.

I am just looking out for Micah's health, though.

I think if I was the Packers, here's what I do.

Because right now, Big Cat, you're right.

They've got a great chance at winning the Super Bowl.

You don't want to push the back.

Yeah.

You should rest Micah Parsons till he's completely healed.

I'd say two weeks into the season, give him two weeks off.

Week three, bring him back in.

I think that's against the Browns.

Bring him back against the Browns.

Got it.

And have him play there.

So whoever they play in week two.

It could be anyone.

It could be anyone.

Literally anyone.

He should rest for that game as well.

Who are they playing week two?

I'm not sure.

I know the answer.

Is it Thursday night football?

Oh, it's the Commanders.

Thursday night.

Yeah.

A short week?

Yeah, no, but you said that without knowing.

Short, yeah, I had no idea.

I just knew it was a short week.

It was a Thursday night.

If he's going to play this week, which it looks like he's probably going to try, don't make him rush back out there on Thursday night.

Yeah.

That's how he gets hurt.

And

the Lions are going to be good.

The Packers are the best team in football.

What are you going to do?

Yeah, put your hand up.

Speaking of bad backs, Texans at Rams.

Rams minus three over under 43.5.

Thoughts?

I think this is going to be a lot of defense.

Yeah, I agree.

I think the Rams defense is awesome.

We know that the Texans' defense is very, very good, too.

They've got great cornerbacks.

We also know the Texans' offensive line is not great.

We also know that Matthew Stafford has a bad back and hasn't played at all in training camp.

I agree with you.

I think this is going to be an ugly one.

Do we know that the Texans' offensive line is bad?

Well, they lost some good ones.

Well, they were bad last year.

Yeah, and then they lost their best player.

Then they got rid of a lot of the players that were on the bad offensive line.

So maybe they'll be good.

So there's a lot of guys that are playing on this offensive line that weren't weren't on the bad offensive line.

But you did also trade your best player.

That's true.

On the offensive line.

That is very true.

Yeah, and Laramie Tunsell.

Last game, best game.

Ravens at Bills.

Bills minus one and a half over under 50.5.

I think you know this, BFT, but I'll just share this with everyone else.

Derrick Henry has played nine years in the NFL.

I think he's eclipsed 2,000 yards twice.

He's won a bunch of rushing titles.

He still is 500 yards away from his total rushing yards in high school.

That's insane, yeah.

He's played nine years in the NFL, and he still had more yards in high school.

I like looking at his box scores because it's just, it's absurd what he was doing to high school.

In four years in high school, he had 12,124 yards.

In nine years in the NFL, he's had 11,423 yards.

How many kids do you think he made quit playing football?

Oh, so many.

I'd say many.

Probably like three a game.

So many.

He had 153 touchdowns in four years.

Probably made kids on the defense quit his own team.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't want to tackle in spring.

Yeah, like in the summer, like early practice.

No.

55 touchdowns in his senior year, 4,261 yards.

That's literally when you play

on college football, rookie or freshman level, and you're like, I'm just going to score 90 points, get my guy, the Heisman.

Can we all agree that whoever wins this game, it's going to be impactful on playoff seating?

Although, remember, Prisco told us the

Bills should have a good, easy schedule to start.

But yeah, I think it also.

I think it's fun to treat this like a playoff game.

Could we also say it's going to be impactful on the MVP?

Yes.

I think it will.

We can say that.

Well, do you think this is a Lamar revenge?

I should have won the MVP.

Who should have been the MVP?

Should have been?

No, I think it's a Mark Andrews revenge.

I should have caught that ball.

Yeah.

Oh, the Bills are underdogs.

That switch?

That flip?

Bills are plus one and a half.

That's my apologies.

Home Dogs?

Home Dogs.

Home Dogs.

I like the Bills then.

No wind.

Probably me and everyone else.

Bose is on the Bills.

What do you mean?

We got to remind people that.

No Bills.

Oh,

that's not this year.

Wait, what team is Sincerely?

Boss McCormick on?

I already forgot.

Shit.

And what about that Gary Whitfield or whatever?

Is that a serial killer?

That's a great serial killer name.

Gary Whitfield definitely killed some people in Nebraska in like 1970s.

Yeah.

We don't even have it.

Sincere?

You don't know Sincere?

Ohio.

Oh.

Oh.

Wrong guy.

Wrong state.

Nope.

Forgot See.

Abort, abort, abort, abort.

Oh.

We got to find, we can't move on until we find out where Sincere is.

Yeah.

Oh, abort, abort, abort.

All right, let me do, because we're going to do a TD parlay while you look that up.

DraftKings, by the way, we're going to have this listed in the DraftKings DraftKings Sportsbook.

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All right, TD parlay.

We will do me Hank PFT.

One of us loses.

Max will get in.

Sounds good.

Three lagger.

Let's do all afternoon and night.

Okay.

All right.

So go bet on the DraftKings sportsbook.

Give us a pick, Hank.

I didn't know we were doing afternoon.

Give me a second.

Okay, that's fine.

That's no problem.

We're going to do afternoon and night.

I'm going to take Matthew Golden for the Packers.

Okay.

I'm going to take J.K.

Dobbins for the Broncos.

Okay.

I'm going to take Jameer Gibbs from the Lions.

Okay.

So there it is.

That is our DraftKings TD parlay.

Now let's finish off.

We got.

We're sincere.

We're sincere.

Sincere is still with the San Francisco 49ers since August.

Okay.

Okay.

Since August.

All right.

Picks.

So we'll figure out the punishment later.

We're going to do two picks each.

We do an over, under, we do a spread.

Memes, would you like to start?

I'd love to.

All right.

Memes, you start.

Hank has brought it.

You can't pick the same pick, Zach.

That's the only thing.

Hank did win last year, if he wants to.

Oh, Hank, would you like to start?

Or would you like the wraparound?

No, I'll start.

Okay.

I'm going to take.

Can I take the Friday game?

Yeah, you can take the Friday game.

I'm going to take the Chargers plus three.

Okay.

Chargers plus three.

Memes, why don't you go?

I'm going to go over 48.5.

Bengals, Browns.

Okay.

Max.

I am going to go over.

Actually, no, I'm going to take Jets plus three.

Fuck yeah.

Jets plus three.

I think they're.

No, it's back to three.

It was two and a half before.

Go ahead.

Zach.

I would like to take the Commanders minus six.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to take Panthers, Jaguars over 46.

That was going to be my pick.

God damn it.

All right, I'm going to take Bucks, Falcons over 46.5.

And you know what?

I'll put my money where my mouth is.

Well, actually, I have a couple of those.

I'll do the Colts minus one and a half.

Daniel Jones.

Believing.

Believing.

Does it go back?

Is it Snake?

Yeah.

I'm going to take the Falcons plus one and a half.

Okay.

I would like to take the Titans, Broncos under 42.5.

I like that pick.

I'm taking a fun over

first week, Lions, Packers over 47.5.

That's a fun over.

That is a fun over.

Taking the Rams minus three.

Okay.

That's my Devontae Adams game of the week.

Ooh, memes.

I just love Devontae.

I'll also be taking a fun over.

I'm taking the Steelers Jets over 38.5.

Oh,

yeah.

I like that.

You're going to have to fight for every inch.

Yep.

All right.

So last thing, before we get to Eli Manning and Howie Long, talk some more football with them.

We are retiring fantasy fuckboys.

R.I.P.

Poor one out.

R.I.P.

Well, kind of retired.

We'll bring them back maybe for the European Games.

They might just slip in every now and then, but for week to week, they will be retired.

We always reserve the right to bring them back.

Instead, we are going to do a fantasy minute

with Jerry O'Connell, and it is a video he's going to send us.

And if he goes over a minute, we cut it off exactly at a minute.

So here's our Jerry O'Connell.

He did 58 seconds.

Yeah, I know.

He's less than a minute.

Yeah.

So this is Jerry O'Connell's fantasy minute before we get to our interviews.

What's up, AWLs?

Jerry O here with your week one fantasy recap.

We had a great draft.

We drafted with our first pick, Saquon.

Way to go, Max.

We got Brock with our next pick.

Jaden, who's going to break all records?

We got Devontae of the Rams.

I did Kelly Stafford's podcast, cheated on you guys.

He did a great job, cleaned things up a little bit, kept the ums to a minimum, you fucking assholes, AWLs.

And saw the man himself.

And I think Devontae is going to have a great season.

Our big question tonight, week one: do we start Javante of the Cowboys over Jordan Mason?

I'm going with Javante.

He's ranked just a touch higher.

I know the Eagles' defense is better than the Bears' defense.

Sorry, big cat, but

I just feel like Dallas is going to have to score a lot of points.

And it's opening night of football.

Let's get in the end zone.

Javante, let's go.

Part of my take, fantasy recap.

I'm the manager.

Me, I.

Okay, there it is.

That's good.

We did draft Saquon, but I am also a part of the group chat that Jerry was dropped into.

Within about five minutes of the draft ending, he started spamming everybody in the group chat, trying to trade Saquon away.

Okay.

Have you guys also noticed that we had an email thread from Camp Barstall, and Jerry O'Connell is now using that email thread with like everybody in Barstall as his personal group chat?

I did not see that.

Wait, what's the

what has he been emailing?

Someone asked about, like, did anyone make a purchase at the store in Wisconsin?

And he replied, like, wasn't me, I promise.

Also, listen, it's a long season.

We got to see what happens.

Did anyone else get the vibe that our fantasy manager wasn't exactly ready when every single time his pick came up, he asked for help on Twitter?

From everyone.

He went to help.

Everybody except for Adam Schafter.

I was a little concerned that every time our pick came up, he just tweeted like, I need help.

Pick coming up.

Who should I take?

Also, just the most bizarre time for a draft.

Yeah, what was the time?

It was yesterday at,

I think, like 3.

Yeah, that is a weird time.

3 p.m.

That's a weird time.

He also,

yeah, he spammed the group chat with a lot of requests for trades.

And

he claimed online that he got an A for the draft or a a B plus, maybe.

No one gets an A or B.

But in the group chat, I've got it right here.

He said he got a D.

He's graded out as getting a D.

Yeah, so he didn't get an A.

He did not get an A.

He may have tweeted 200 times during this draft.

It was crazy.

I was just scrolling for like two minutes trying to find when the draft started.

Yeah, look at this.

Yeah, AWLs, and even Adam Schefter, Devontae, what did he say?

Devontae, what was the one?

Go back.

Devontae, Garrett, or Tet in the the fourth, need answer.

You're our manager.

And this was every round.

And then one random person, Cliff, said, Devontae Adams.

He said, okay, done.

Yeah.

I don't have a lot of confidence in the guy right now.

That's okay.

Listen, he surprised us before.

Were we in the finals last year?

No, we're in the semis.

A couple years.

It was for Damar.

The DeMar year.

We're in the finals.

So he's proven that he can do it.

It's just this year, I was a little.

I just was, my spidey sense was up when he was asking for help on every pick.

Yeah.

He he did prove his worth in the DeMar year, though.

Yeah.

When he got, he jumped into the fracus and he was like, hey,

prayers for Damar, but we're playing this out.

Yeah.

Prayers for Damar.

Prayers for Damar.

All right, let's get to our interviews.

We've got Eli Manning in studio, and then we have Howie Long, and we'll finish up with Firefest.

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And now, here is Eli Manning.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest.

It is two-time Super Bowl champion, Eli Manning, in studio.

You're doing a really fun thing with Kings Wine this football season.

So we got, I think you're serving us lunch today.

I am serving you lunch.

Yeah, so

I saw the whole tailgate out there.

What's like, are you traveling around with Kings Wine this year?

Because this is gonna be fun.

I, it's the best food.

I'm so excited for it.

Yeah, no, it's you know, excited to partner with Kings of Wine again and be a part of their slider Sunday campaign.

So, I think as you get into the fall, everybody's excited for the football season, obviously, but a big part of the football season is tailgating or just

watching games at home, having friends, having family over.

And it starts with great food.

And it's a staple in our household: Kings of Wine and their rolls.

So, we have like a big kind of slider

kind of bar set up with, you know, so you got your Kings of Wine rolls and you just got your different proteins because we got so many kids around.

So some are like grilled cheese.

Some are, hey, just a little turkey.

You got your burgers, got your chicken.

So a bunch of stuff.

And so it's just a,

it just makes sense to partner with them again because they're such a staple in our household.

All right.

So what does your NFL Sunday look like now?

Because I'm very curious.

You know, we take our NFL Sundays very seriously.

The amount of food we eat, the amount of games we watch, are you able to lock into every game or are you, you know, got an eye on it and then the kids?

And then?

Yeah, so yeah, the Sundays, I guess, you know, we usually go to the Giants' home games.

So the first two weeks this year, they're on the road.

So I'm kind of looking at my Sundays coming up.

And,

you know, I got kids that play a lot of sports.

So we got some flag football in the morning.

We got some hockey in the morning.

So kind of get that stuff in.

And then, you know, try to, you know, we're kind of usually done by around one o'clock where, yeah, you're home and it's, you know, kind of having friends and family over, watching the Giants game, watching, you know, all the other games and dialed in.

So have a big spread of food and

just kind of take it in.

So I think that's kind of the new tradition that I didn't get to do for a long time.

Obviously, I was playing on Sundays,

but growing up, used to go to Saints games, but the away games, you kind of, it's weird.

You kind of look forward to the away games when the Giants are away because then you get to hang at the house and like kind of create your own little party and have your slider Sundays.

Yeah.

You get multiple TVs or are you you just locked in on one?

Yeah, just kind of locked in on one.

You might have different rooms,

might have a different game on a little bit, but

yeah, just kind of you know, try to, I tend to stay with the NFC, I think, just because having played in the NFC so long, I feel like I know those teams better

and more curious.

It always, you know, as I, when I was watching games, even when I was playing, I was always watching the NFC because it was more relevant to what I was doing unless I was watching one of Peyton's games.

But yeah, so I tend to watch the NFC.

Do you still get the tape?

Like the all-22?

Do you watch that?

I do that for preparation for Monday night football.

So I do that if we have a game.

So, you know, if as you get into the season, if I know, hey, next week.

you know,

we're doing whatever, Dallas and Philadelphia.

If one of those two teams are playing, I might tend to kind of watch the TV version of that a little bit.

You see, you kind of hear some analysis of what's going on

and see some different replays.

But yeah, if I'm watching film and preparation, I'm on the all-22 and doing a little deeper dive.

So you've been retired for a while now.

Do you still have like the itch in the summertime when training camp starts?

You're like, this is about to be football season?

Are you like, nah,

so happy?

Awesome.

Yeah.

I'm like, this is amazing.

I still, you know, August hits, and everybody's like, you know, I'm

thinking like late July, like, oh, summer's almost over.

I'm like, no, no, no.

I still got like six weeks of summer late July.

Our kids don't go back till after Labor Day.

And no, I enjoy the summer and getting to play some golf, run around with the kids, go to the beach a little bit, and just have a little downtime before the fall hits because all of a sudden football season comes and

kids are back in school and sports and it kind of becomes a grind again, which is fun as well.

Yeah, after guys leave the NFL, I'm always curious to know, like, what is their first experience with an NFL Sunday like where they get to actually sit down on a couch and and just take it all in because you don't get to see that.

I mean, if you're bye week, I guess you got the chance, you get the chance to watch the primetime games.

Yeah.

But just spending all day on your couch watching television, it's the best.

It is so fun.

And so I'm always, I'm happy for guys that get to

experience that for the first time.

Yeah, no, it is fun and it's awesome to do.

And I think it depends on how your retirement went is whether you enjoy that or don't enjoy it.

If you kind of got to end it on your own terms and say, hey, I'm ready to be done.

I've played enough and I don't want to play football anymore.

It's easier to sit on the couch and watch the games.

If you kind of get retired where you want to keep playing, yet no one wants you to play anymore, you're watching it and you're like, oh, I could be playing better than this guy.

I'm better than that guy.

Then you're kind of bitter at it.

So I was happy.

I was like, I'm done.

I'm ready to be done.

I'm going to watch games.

I'm going to root for these guys.

I'm going to root for the Giants.

I hope they win.

I hope the new Daniel Jones does well.

But when he was there at the time, still to this day, hey, I hope Russell Wilson does awesome this season.

So I'm watching all the games, rooting for the quarterbacks, rooting for players I've gotten to know over the years.

And so

I enjoy my Sundays.

All right, so you were up for a Hall of Fame this year.

You had a very gracious answer when you didn't make the Hall of Fame, which obviously is to be expected because you're good at the media.

You're a very good guy, and you're like, I'm happy for all the other guys.

At what point can we, I think you need to game plan this.

And if it's like year seven or eight, just do a heel turn and be like, no, this fucking bullshit.

Like, I won two Super Bowls.

What the fuck are we doing?

I put some pressure on you.

Yeah, will you, will you, at some point, will you start doing that and being like, you know what?

This is absolute bullshit.

I should be in the Hall of Fame.

I don't think that's, that's just not really my personality.

I don't think that's going to happen.

What if it's like, what if it takes like 15 years?

Could we get that?

No, that's just, it's just like, you know, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You know, if, if one day I change my mind and I become like the bitter, the bitter ex-football player, hey, back in our day, we were tough.

And I become that guy where I always thought it was very easy.

Oh, playing this guy sucks.

It's easy to play quarterback.

No, I know it's hard.

Like, that's why even when I commentating, like, I know it's difficult.

I know they got a hard job, and I can relate to what they're going through.

I think, unfortunately, after a certain amount of years, you forget how hard it is, I think.

And you're like, oh, it's easy.

It looks so, you see other guys playing well and you forget

it's difficult and then you become the bitter, the bitter guy.

So if I become the bitter guy, I'll come back on the show and I'll start my campaign.

Yeah, you could do it here.

You could be like, hey, this is absolute bullshit.

This guy's in the Hall of Fame.

He shouldn't be in.

Are you like, you obviously want to be in the Hall of Fame?

It'd be an incredible honor to be there.

You know, in Canton, there's only so, you know, what, a couple, few hundred.

Have you like thought about that moment?

Have you let yourself think about that moment?

Or are you just like, hey, when it happens, it happens?

Well, I'm scared of public speaking.

So it's usually, it's almost like a, oh, I'm kind of scared.

Like, what am I, what would my speech be?

Like, what if I, what if I screw up that?

It's going to be a lot of preparation.

So, no, I think, obviously, it would be an unbelievable, um you know dream to to join the you know the greatest players to play the game and to be a part of that group would be a tremendous honor but it's not something that like

it's gonna change my life forever if if i get in like i'm proud of of my football career i'm proud of my teammates i'm proud of of the friendships i've made through football so that'll always be more important than than some you know honor or award that that's given to you after you're done

has payton won worn worn the uh gold jacket around you?

Yeah, he wears it all the time.

It's like, you know, like this Sunday dinner, like we're back in New Orleans, and he just

pops on the gold jacket.

It's really annoying.

I remember when Shannon Sharp got on the Hall of Fame, he said something very nice.

He said, I'm not even the best football player in my family.

That would have been nice if Peyton had said something like that in his speech.

Did you talk about it?

He would be lying.

Yeah, talking about my dad, maybe.

Yeah.

You just have to be very careful when they make the bust.

If you go to the Hall of Fame, you have to practice practice the face.

Or

you could give us a Manning face as a bust, which is.

Yeah.

I don't know

how they choose that.

I mean, I'm sure Peyton had a lot of directions and tried to wear his hair different, like more down and flat down so he wouldn't show as much forehead.

But it didn't work.

I heard you saying that Peyton's a big voice memo guy.

Oh, my God.

He doesn't really text.

He just sends, like, how long are these voice memos that he sends you when you guys are prepping?

Well, when we're prepping,

he sent, like, so, like, he sent one the other day.

He goes, hey, Eli, you should watch, you know, you should watch Chicago's.

He sent me a text saying you should watch Chicago's first preseason game.

I'll send a little voice memo on the plays.

And he went through every single play that Caleb Williams ran and gave a memo on it.

I'm like, that's not really the point.

You don't have to give me every single play.

Why would I even watch it now?

Give me a little recap or something.

And it's like that one.

I mean, Caleb Williams only played a few series.

So it was like 10 minutes.

I was like, it'd be faster for me to just go watch the game than listen to your voice memo sometimes.

But I mean, he's left me 35-minute voice memos before.

What's the completion percentage on your listening to the voice memo?

Well, that's when he started, I think he started realizing, like, I'm not listening to the whole thing.

No way would you ever listen.

Because I would have a response.

He's like, wait, didn't you, you know, or I'd repeat something he said or maybe contradict something he said without knowing it.

He's like, wait, didn't you listen to my whole voice memo?

I'm like, yeah, I made it through like seven or eight minutes.

He's like, no, it was 35 minutes long.

I'm like, I need the cliff notes of your voice memo, which we actually started doing.

Someone started like typing out the main points and then sending that to me.

So I kind of get the idea.

I'm like, I just don't have, like, I don't, I don't have 35 minutes all the time to like sit down and listen to you talk.

Yeah.

And then he started, he started like leaving little, like halfway through the voice memos, he'd be like, Eli, this is a test to see if you're still listening and have like some code word.

Like, hey, like, the radio was good.

You know, text me that if you listen to this thing.

Of course, I don't text him.

He's like, I know you didn't listen to it.

And you're like, I know I didn't listen.

Yeah, I'm telling you, I'm not listening.

You got to cut it down.

I need it 15 minutes and under.

I feel like there should be, you know, how you can listen to podcasts on one and a half speed, two times speed.

That should be an option for voice memo too.

Yes.

You can just breeze through this.

Yes.

Yes.

So when it comes to your prep for things, what is your side?

If you're doing the Manning cast and you're getting ready to watch, obviously you watch the games, but I feel like your strength on the show is kind of busting Peyton's balls.

Right.

When he gets like his head too big a little bit.

Yes.

So how do you prep for that?

Well,

a lot of it is,

you know, we kind of get some ideas.

Like, you know, Peyton and I will talk and maybe, you know, our producers and people will do a good job of something we say in our preparation and, you know, we say, hey, you know,

whatever.

Chicago does a great job of running bang eights.

And so they'll respond back to like, hey, what's a bang eight?

Maybe y'all can explain that or hey it's something we say that we're using our terminology that we need to explain it to the fans and so you know payton will say all right i'll get up and i'll you know i'll i'll i'll go through the route tree and i'll go through everything so when and when i know he's going to get up and do something that's when i'm like all right what can i bust him on now like he's up there and he's you know he's on the spot and he's explaining something you know the vein starts coming out in his head he starts talking real fast and mumbling all over everything that's when that's when i I have to shine.

And

I got to ask him a bunch of questions.

I got to get him more flustered.

I got to get him going here.

So

that's when I start

thinking outside the box.

Yeah, it's a great show.

It's a great show.

Who's your favorite guest you've had on?

I got to go Snoop Dogg.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously just a legend in Snoop Dogg.

He had a fog machine, I think, in his room because

it was definitely a fog machine.

He was snacking on stuff.

And he gave me a death row records gold chain.

It was my birthday.

He offered it to me on the show.

He sent it to me.

I got it the next week.

So, you know, I like getting gifts.

Yeah.

Obviously, it seems like y'all get a lot of gifts in here and y'all put it up.

So

we do.

We keep you.

I told you.

This is about as clean as we get in here.

It looks good.

Yeah, we cleaned it up for you.

Thank you.

It's very lived in.

I don't know if you know this about us, but we're kind of like the podcast version of you.

We're the Iron Man.

You are.

Of the podcast.

I don't think we've ever missed a show.

Never missed a show.

Nine years.

Yeah.

Nine years.

Nine years.

How long did you go without missing a game?

I went 14 years.

15 years.

So you got a few more years to catch up.

I think we can do it.

What's the worst thing that you ever played through?

Ooh, well,

I'd say there is a tie.

There was a tie.

I separated my right shoulder

week one versus Dallas in 07 season.

So as a quarterback, throwing with a separated shoulder does not feel good.

And then I ruptured my plantar fascia and my foot one year.

So the most painful thing was the cortisone shot that I got through my heel.

They went in through the heel and then put the needle all the way into the middle of my foot where your plantar fascia is.

That was the worst pain I've ever been in in my life.

Yeah.

And a cortisone shot is a big needle.

They're like, we're going to put this through your heel.

and then get it into the middle of your foot.

I'm like, I don't get it.

You've got to explain that again one more time.

So

that was tough.

Yeah, how did you weigh that as you're in the middle of the streak?

Where obviously it's important to you to be dependable to your teammates, right?

Like you want to be there.

You want to be known as a guy that if you call my number, I'm going to be ready for you on Sunday.

But then you also have to weigh that with, hey, I have a separated shoulder.

Maybe I'm not the best quarterback on the team right now.

Right.

And I think that's kind of what, like that week, I didn't practice Wednesday or Thursday.

So Friday was my first day of

throwing and practicing.

And you just kind of feel it out on that day.

It's like, hey, can I make these throws?

Am I going to be able to,

you know, help the team or am I going to be a liability and put us in a bad situation?

So I think that's the idea.

And I think you always, it's always,

you know, like, hey, is the adrenaline of the game that will get me through this?

Which I always think it will.

And I think, so you always want to be there for your teammates.

You always want to play.

I think about my offensive lineman, those guys are like always hurt.

They're always banged up.

I mean, they're sore going into the first game just from training camp of two days, back when we had two days of hitting hitting each other so you all you know you didn't want to be like oh i got this little thing i can't i can't play what you know you want to kind of set the standard hey i'm not i want to be at practice it's important to be at practice it's important to be in the games and um and just never felt that you know the injury i had was gonna you know make us make us worse i always thought hey with me out there just being able to get in and you know even just from the middle side get in and out of good and bad plays just to run the system knowing what everyone's doing the checks that i can i can figure out how to manage this game.

Yeah, you also, you, and this is going to be a compliment, but it might seem like it's not.

You were good at a self-sack where it's like, I'm screwed.

Maybe I won't just get killed here.

Right.

Just go down.

Do you have a favorite self-sack where you're like, man, I'm happy I went down there?

Yeah, there's a couple.

It wasn't a self-sack, but in that same,

I remember we're playing in Philadelphia.

We're at the one-yard line, and it's third or fourth down.

And this is early on.

This is maybe 05, uh, 06.

And we're going to go quarterback sneak.

And, you know, I've done a few quarterback sneaks, not great, but I always just kind of like take one step back and go low, go low.

And the coordinator says, Hey, think about going high on this one, like, jump up, do the old, like, you know, Drew Brewer man.

Yeah, superb, like put the ball over the goal line.

I'm like, all right, I'm going to think about that.

And all of a sudden, like, right before Jeremiah Trotter is a, you know, mass, if you, he goes high, like, if I would have gone high, we would have connected like head to head, and I probably would have died.

So that was my greatest decision.

Like, nope, I'm going to go under, got the touchdown, and right there.

But yeah, I think, you know, I was never, never wanted to take extra hits.

As a quarterback, it's just, hey, it's easy to get hurt in this game.

You know, you screw up a little something, it can affect the whole game.

And so just

there are definitely times to kind of learn how to throw, shield your body.

Don't just take hits right to the face all the time and take these, you know, kind of throw and get down and just avoid those big hits.

Yeah, and it is a skill.

Like there, you know, see Mahomes, even Lamar Jackson, where like he's, he's running a lot, but he, it feels like he very rarely gets fully squared up.

Right.

And it's like he's got that skill of like, hey, I'm not going to, I'm either going to get out of bounds or go down or, you know, get skinny here to make sure that I can keep playing.

The guys even used to, they used to make fun of me because of the way I slid.

Even when I slid, I would slide and I would like turn and so my back was like to the players.

I would turn to the side and they're like, why do you slide?

Why don't you just slide like a normal slide in the second base, like chest up?

I'm like, because if someone wants to come and just,

you know, hit me head to head and that's the worst hit.

When you're sliding your chest up and someone just dives at you, Trevor Lawrence.

Hit your head, head back.

I'm like, it's not worth me getting knocked out of the game.

You know, even though I'm giving myself up, they can still hit me.

They get a 15-yard penalty and I'm knocked in the next week.

So that's why I'm not taking a, I'm not going to put myself out there just to get rocks.

And because of that, hey, I never you know never took that hit to to miss a game or get knocked out yeah i i do think that's that's when you see not even a hard hit but just a light hit if a quarterback is sliding on their back that just glances off the forehead bounces back into the turf yeah and you and then back your head and you're you're concussed and you're out yeah i i always i always thought that there's like an art to falling yes whether you're running back i mean i do a podcast with arian foster and he always talks about how he would practice falling down and how it like practice getting tackled yeah during the week and it was something that that helped him with longevity is Is that something that you tried to do too?

Yeah, I think just kind of, I mean, you want to think about it.

I mean, the coaches weren't like, hey, you know, you always want to finish your throw and make sure you're stepping into throw and you're not, you know, ducking too soon.

But there is a, you know, an art to getting tackled.

I think flexibility is a huge thing as a quarterback as you're like getting tackled, being flexible is so you can like take some of those hits.

Or if you get tangled in weird moments, you kind of pop out of it and don't and don't get hurt.

So

I think there is an art to like not taking the big hit.

Yeah, I have just a straight-up compliment for you.

I think that you were very good in terms of how you would always handle any mistakes that were made during a game, maybe by a teammate.

You would always be like, hey, it's my fault.

And I feel like that's something that we tell quarterbacks to do all the time, which is like, if there's an interception, that's your response.

But you have to say,

that's my fault.

But the reality is, sometimes, a lot of times, it's not the quarterback's fault, but you have to say it out loud.

Did you have somebody that you could talk to and be like, hey, that wasn't my fault?

Just so you know, like, I didn't fuck that up.

He fucked that up.

I'm going to have to say that it's my fault, but I want you to know that it wasn't.

I think there's a different kind of reality of

what you say to the media, how they handle that, and then what's said internally with your, you know, the coaches in team meetings.

People know what's going on and what really happened on certain plays.

But I think as the quarterback, you know, I just said, hey, I can handle this.

I would rather, you know, the media be on me than be on

this young receiver because if his confidence goes down,

it might take a while to get back up.

It might take him three more games before he's fully confident and he's going to go and have drops and it's going to lead to more stuff.

So, hey, let me take the heat.

Let him get through the media, be fine.

And so, you know, and now, hey, we have a little trust here.

Hey, I got your back, right?

I got your back.

I'm not going to throw you under the bus ever, you know, and and, you know, but you owe me now.

Like, you got to start

make up a play for me.

So, I think that's what kind of brings

that teamwork.

And as a quarterback, hey, you probably get too much credit when things go well and too much blame when things go bad, but that's kind of being a part of the position.

I would imagine one of the hardest parts of being a quarterback is especially like the young quarterbacks, rookie quarterbacks.

You're now the face of the franchise.

You have all the eyes on you.

You have all the

expectations on you.

Was there something that you did when you were a young quarterback that you made a mistake?

Maybe it was with the media where you're like, all right, can't do that again, because it's got to be pretty daunting to get drafted and be like, all right, it's yours.

This is your franchise.

Right.

No, it's hard.

And especially in New York, I think, and

every city, but in New York, there's so many different people coming after you.

There's so many different outlets and talk radio shows and newspapers and stories coming out that,

you know, you have like a bad game or you have, you know, a second bad game.

You're like, oh my God,

I'm getting killed here.

I want to defend myself a little bit.

And defending yourself, hey, do you accidentally take a shot at the offensive coordinator or a player or hey, the O-line didn't block very well?

Or, you know, all of a sudden you do that one time just to like, hey, get away.

And your players see that.

Yeah.

You're like, oh, shoot, now I've opened up another storm of stuff.

And so you learn very quickly if there are problems, if there are

things going on, it's best to bring that up with the group.

Let's keep this internal instead of going out and solving problems with the media.

That is not the answer.

Yeah, was there a moment when you were a young quarterback where you're like, all right, I think I'm now the leader of this team?

Because it is, it's thrust upon you, but it probably is a little unnatural where it's like, you're coming in.

It's a locker room of NFL players who all have been playing in the NFL and older guys.

And it's like, why would they listen to me?

Just because I got drafted high and I'm the quarterback?

Was there that like, not light bulb, but maybe a light bulb where you're like, all right, I think I have this now.

Like, these guys are responding to me.

Right.

I mean, it's honestly probably like that, you know, not until you're like your third year

as the starter, I think, just because, and it depends a little bit on the organization.

But when I got to New York, like, you have Michael Strahan, you have Tiki Barber, you had some shocky, like you have big, big personalities, guys that have been the Pro Bowls, they've been in Super Bowls,

you know, they're future Hall of Famers, and

it takes a while for you to earn their respect and

for them to see, hey, this kid's working his tail off, he's doing all the right work, he's taking hits, he's taking blame when he doesn't have to.

It takes all that time for you to really, you know, earn

their respect, where you can be a voice, where you can tell them if they're not doing something wrong or if they're not doing something right, or they got to pick up their game, and you can tell your 10-year veteran, Amani Tumer, hey, that wasn't the right route.

Hey, You got to be better at this.

It just takes time for it to kind of be your team where you think you know the offense well enough, you know the game well enough, where you're very confident that in what you're saying, it's the correct thing.

Yeah.

And even going into, I think it was your fourth year,

it was still kind of a question mark.

Like, are you the guy in New York?

And nobody really knew the answer to that question.

Did you feel like that was a make or break year for you?

100%.

You know, going into that fourth year, I think, you know, it was, we'd been to the playoffs the two years years before, had not won a playoff game.

And, you know, Coach Coughlin, you know, they were kind of after his head a little bit.

They're after it.

We were

a tandem.

It's like, hey, are these two guys the right people to run this organization that fourth year?

And we lost our first two games of the season.

We then went on a little win streak, went to another losing streak, but made the playoffs, obviously made the run and answered the question.

But, you know, if we play that first

playoff game in Tampa and we lose that game,

who knows what happens?

Like, Like, who knows if they say, like, boom, fire Coughlin, get rid of me, and move on.

It's like, this, this game is, it's, it's hard, it's tough, and you know, things could have changed very differently, and it had a completely different outcome over maybe a few games.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you ever think about playing somewhere else?

No, no, never thought of it.

Like my last year when I knew my time with the Giants was going to be over, and, you know, maybe, maybe thought about it for 15 minutes

and I was like, well, where am I going to go?

Like, I'm going to end up in Cleveland.

And it's like, I'm moving my whole family there.

Like, why am I playing?

Just to get another paycheck?

Or am I really thinking I can go somewhere and win a championship?

And I'm just like, I don't think I can play at the level I need to play.

And I don't think I can go to a place that's surrounded with enough talent to get us to a championship or get to the playoffs and maybe make a run.

So I said, you know, I love my time in New York

after, you know, so many teammates that I had that went to other places.

And they always say, hey, it's just different here.

I can't explain it exactly, but it's just different on the culture of it.

And I just, I never wanted to experience that.

Maybe you go to the Chargers for one year.

That's hilarious.

That would have gone well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think they were in the mix to bring me in.

When you're making that decision, what was the thing that,

like, if you're honest about yourself at the end of your career, you're like, is it the arm strength?

What goes that like is frustrating?

Because I'm sure you're like, man, I used to be able to do this and now I can't do it.

I think just being able to like escape and move in the pocket, you just move those little, you lose those fast twitch reflexes.

And so you just can't like extend plays just a little bit longer to let that, you know, that guy open up in the next window.

So instead of doing that, you know, you're probably like, all right, I got to get the ball out faster.

Like, I can't extend plays.

I can't break pockets.

So instead of, hey, oh, I can roll out or I can move in the pocket and drift up and then make this throw.

I'm just like, I don't have time.

I'll take the underneath stuff.

So, I mean, if things are wide open down the field, you take it.

You can do all those things.

It's just like the broken plays, which, you know, probably account for like 30 or 40% of most passing plays.

Or, you know, are you

moving around, having to dodge someone, adjust, hold the ball a little bit longer, and you just, you kind of lose that ability.

Yeah.

Your nephew, Arch,

at Texas, I saw a story.

I think it was Seth Wickersham said that Peyton gives him a lot of football advice, X's and O's, and and you give him a lot of life advice.

And one of your life advices to him was never take a picture with a beer in your hand.

Right.

I mean, the picture of you drunk is very fun.

I mean, that's a great picture.

It's a great picture.

It's a class.

I think I heard the story that you're like, you never know when you're going to blink, but

you were also drunk in that picture.

Right.

Drunk and blinking.

That's a bad combo.

That's a bad combo.

It's a good advice, though, because if you do have a drink in your hand, people will just assume you're bombed.

And I even said it, don't ever even take a picture if you're in a bar and there's just drinks around.

You don't even have to have it in your hand.

Like, never take it in your hand.

But even, and it's more, and it's like almost like a built-in excuse to not take pictures.

I used to say team rules.

We're not allowed to take pictures where alcohol is served.

Team rules, which is not a team rule, but people buy it.

I still use it to this day.

I'm like, ah, team rules in a bar.

I can't take a picture.

They're like, oh, are you on a team?

I'm like, well, you know, it's just a good.

So you still do that today.

Sometimes it's just, it's more just a situation that I'm in.

Like, you shouldn't always have to take a picture with anyone that asked.

Hey, if I'm walking down the street and

a kid asked for a picture, a thousand percent that I'll take it.

But if I'm

at a restaurant or I'm at a bar or hanging out with friends and like I'm in the moment, and almost in a sense, because if

anyone sees you taking one picture, it's like, oh, hey, there's Eli.

He's taking pictures.

And it just becomes, it just ruins, it makes it awkward for you.

It makes it awkward for the people you're hanging with.

And it it just kind of ruins like the the the mood of of what you're doing and so i think for for art just kind of to you know it's like awkward for his teammates if he's you know having to take a bunch of pictures and they're just sitting there or buddies so i'm like there is a this this is kind of your excuse or your way to to get out of that moment and and kind of just you know kind of shut it down before it gets to be a problem yeah that's a really good cheat code yeah has he has he asked for more life advice have you given him more like hey here's how to navigate the whirlwind of quarterback i think it's more just as things come up.

I'm not texting him every day, like, you know, life advice of the day,

do this.

It's more just, you know, when I see him, when I see him around, you know, when he comes to our football camp or, you know, if,

you know, see him over the summer or something, and we're just chatting and he, I kind of, you know, just ask how things are going, how's it walking to class, how's it, you know, the social life, how's, you know, everything going on at Texas and just kind of talk about things that I dealt with.

And obviously it's very different when I was in college to when he's in college now.

There were no cell phones.

There weren't those things you didn't have to worry about and social media and this and that.

But I think he's got a good handle on things.

He works hard at what he's doing.

He's pretty laid back on what people might be saying about him or this or that and doesn't read into it or get into it.

So

I think he's handled it very well.

How many more minings do we have to be prepared for?

Because we need to like, I think we need to, like, have like an update of, like, hey, just so you know, like, Arch, and then there's going to be a couple more.

Well, I get you guys.

You guys never end.

You never end.

We got Peyton's son, Marshall's.

He's in eighth grade.

Okay.

He's playing quarterback.

Okay.

You know, no pressure on him.

No pressure.

No pressure at all.

But like, we, like, I'm not putting any pressure on him, but, like, do we have to be prepared for maybe one or two more Mannings?

Yeah, and then I guess then you skip down some girls and goes down to

my son Charlie, who's six.

And, yeah.

And he's playing

some flag football.

You know, we got first-grade flag football coming up, boys.

So, you know, get ready.

The name Marshall Manning, that's two Heismans guarantee.

That is a Heisman name.

Yeah, 100%.

Do you ever get mad that Arch is so fast?

Yes.

I was like, why?

Why?

What happened?

Mannings aren't supposed to.

Yeah,

it skips the generation, I guess.

I don't know what's going on.

Where did the speed come from?

And he's got big quads and legs.

I'm like, I have skinny bird legs, and now he's you know, running like a 4-3 out there.

And, you know, Peyton ran a 5-3, I think, his senior year.

So I'm just a little bit faster than Peyton.

How would you rate his Manning face?

Is it coming along nicely?

Yeah, I think it is coming around.

I assume that's a tip you give him, too.

Like, hey, if there's a bad play or something, make sure your mouth is a little open on the sideline.

It's a little open.

The eyes are kind of like a little squinted and like a little, like, kind of like he, you know, it looks hungover a lot.

So that was also a big part part of the, you know, don't take any pictures in a bar.

You always look hungover.

You're a manic.

You got to be prepared for that.

One of the things I love is when you have a guest like Belichick and he gets real nerdy about something about football that I've never even thought about once in my life.

From the quarterback position, is there something that we don't talk about in the media that you care very, like whether it's how to hold the ball when you're handing it off or like what part of the center's butt you got to put your wrist in?

Like what's something that you guys think about a lot that maybe we don't don't see at all?

Well,

I think just as you get up to the line of scrimmage and as you go like through your dummy cadence and stuff, hey, I want to go through a dummy cadence to see what the defense is doing.

I think they don't look at it enough.

You can tell, a lot of times I can tell

how fast his cadence is, how his hands are, how his feet are, whether they're going to snap it or not.

And so I think they're just kind of going through the motions of doing it rather than really trying to get the defense to jump offside.

So I think there's an art of kind of making your, your decoy and, and your real thing look exactly the same.

And I think you do it with your snap count.

I think you do it with your handoffs and your play action.

I think you, you know, whether it's a run, whether it's a pass, like all your little

you know, kind of habits or whatnot have to match.

I remember we actually did, they did a study and they said,

the guys, they said, anytime you lick just your right hand, it's a run when you're in the shotgun.

And if If you lick right and left, it's a pass.

And I was like, oh, people could be doing that.

So then I started left.

I started both and doing some, like, not.

I was like, you know, we got to make it more random.

Have you done a hard count recently?

We had Andrew Luck on the show, and he gave us a hard count, and it was actually like a thing of beauty.

It was, it was wonderful to listen to.

Yeah.

We want a hard count?

Yeah.

Would you mind?

All right.

We'll do.

So, this is what we used to have a thing called Daytona.

That was like our dummy count.

So that means there's no snap counts.

So our cadence, you get up there and and you go through, you go, hey, you know, 54 is the mic, except

580, 580, hut, hut, hut, hut.

All right, hey, hey, easy.

Hey, remike it, remike it.

58's the mic.

And then whatever color you said, if you said red, it was on one.

You said white, it was on two.

You say blue with the number, it was on three.

So after you do a dummy cadence already, and then you get up there, hey, hey, remike it.

54 is the mic.

Blue 80.

Blue 80.

Hut, hut, hut.

Yeah, that's

hut.

I would have jumped.

Yeah, soft side.

Like, you've already done the dummy.

You've already changed everything.

Like, everybody uses these things.

The next one's, it's coming on one, and you're going a hard three.

That was an easy, an easy jump.

Would you practice it in, like, private?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Just like in front of the mirror?

A thousand percent.

A thousand percent under the mirror, uh, you know, where your hands are.

And it's like, you know, you can't do too much with your hands.

They'll call you.

If you move your hands too much, even in shotgun, you can do it.

Even we did a lot more under center also.

You can't head bob too much.

If you do too much head bob and down, they'll call you for moving too much.

So you got to be able to like,

what's the limit of having a little bit?

And how do you normally say hut

versus

what's the dummy one?

Yeah.

We're in Chicago.

I heard you had your first shot of Malort last night.

I did.

Oh.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

It's delicious, isn't it?

It's not the word that was first popped out of my growth.

It lingers.

It stays with you.

That's the thing about Malort.

It's like a kidney shot where you take it and then you're like, that's not bad.

And then like 10 seconds later, you're like, oh, wait, that is bad.

Yeah, that's great.

That's stained.

That's my favorite.

It's like an accomplishment when you get it.

Or like the first time you get hit during a game, you're like, all right, we're playing football.

It's like, all right, we're drinking tonight.

Kind of woken up here.

But since we're in Chicago, can we talk a little bit about Caleb?

Yeah, please.

So I feel like my take on him, and Big Cat's a Bears fan, I'm a Bears observer, but what I've seen,

I think he's still obviously got all the physical talent in the world.

I think he's going to be very good this year.

I think Ben Johnson's going to work with him.

But when you're watching him last year, what did you see that he was struggling with as a rookie?

I think as a rookie, the hardest thing is to know

how quickly can I get through my progressions?

I know all week we ran this play.

We wanted to throw this deep over route.

And

we practiced it twice.

I hit this over route and it was great because

in both times, one time I got it versus man, one time I got covered three.

This play is perfect for both those.

And all of a sudden, you get to the game and you get a different coverage, and it's like, all right, how long do I hang on this thing and try to squeeze it in or hold it a little longer to maybe hit that third window and I can still make that throw worth, you know, or, hey, let me just get the ball out, take my check down, and we'll come back to it later.

Like, I think as the quarterbacks grow,

the offensive coordinators will call a more aggressive game and call more shots down the field.

If you don't get the look on that play, if you just, just, hey, go get four or five yards and find a completion.

We can, you know, we'll come back to it after we get a first down and, you know, or the next possession, we'll come back to it and call that play again.

If you're not going to take a sack and like, oh,

I can't call these plays down the field if he can't just make, you know, make these quick, easy decisions and just keep it going.

Like, we can't have the negative plays.

And I think that's the young quarterback.

And it happens to all of us.

It's like, you want to do what you practice.

You want to make this play because the coach loves this play, but sometimes you got to just play football and avoid the negative plays, the incompletions, the sacks, those things are what stop drives.

And I think that'll happen as you mature, as you get more comfortable with your offensive coordinator, you have more time with them, and you kind of understand that system

of, hey,

this is why we're calling this play for this look.

If we don't get it, you know, make the best thing possible.

Let's avoid the negative play.

What do you think?

So from everything I've read, like Ben Johnson talked about it in training camp, like we're turning the fire hose on him.

We're going to throw everything at him so that when we get to week one, it will look a little easier.

Did Coach Coughlin ever do something similar where it's like, hey, we're going to make this really hard on you.

We're going to send free guys.

We're going to basically tilt it for the defense so that when you do get to the game action, it looks easier.

Yeah, no, I think that's the right play because I think the,

especially when you get a new, kind of a new court, a new coach, new offense coordinator, they got to know kind of what they're dealing with, what he sees, what he handles, you know, how much, obviously he has the athletic ability to escape things and do things, but, you know, what can we throw at him?

And what, you know, let's give him the tools and everything.

He has the ability to check plays and to, you know, if he sees zero, get to zero beaters.

Let's give him all that ability.

Let's see what he can handle, what he can't handle.

How much can we throw on his plate?

Is this slowing him down or is this freeing him up?

that he can do all these things.

So I think you want to see what you have.

And then as you start the season, hey, let's start.

This is what he can handle.

This is our system.

And let's do those things.

And then we'll kind of grow and grow.

But I think preseason,

you want to throw everything at him humanly possible so he's comfortable with these things and then and then maybe dial it back down for the start of the season and build back up and you hope it clicks I mean your your two super bowl runs were you in the zone did it click where you're just like this is not easy but I see it.

I see it all and it feels good and the confidence just grows.

Yeah, I mean,

I think for both of them, we were very, you know, very confident.

Um,

also, we're like, you know, I was very confident in how our defense was playing.

And it was like, hey, we're going, you know, defense is getting sacks.

They're playing well, so we don't have to be so aggressive.

Right.

You know, we can just take completions, don't make mistakes, don't turn the ball over, stay in the games.

We're running the ball well all of a sudden.

And so it's like, hey, just play to

the circumstances of the game instead of saying, hey, we're going to go out there.

We've got to score 35 points.

If you don't score 35, there's no way we're winning.

That's a hard way to play because then you think, hey, I can't take a sack here.

Or this third down, I got to get a first down.

We can't afford the punt.

You know,

when you're playing, hey, our team's playing well, play within the system.

That's when you can play your best.

Situational football.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Hank is a Patriots fan, so I'm sure he loves you.

Yes.

Hank, do you have to?

Do you feel the love?

Do you have any questions for Eli?

Nope.

As a pass.

No question.

No questions.

Not even why.

Why did you do this to me?

They won six Super Bowls during that time.

Stop being so greedy over there.

Jeez.

Good point.

Hank?

Yeah, that's a point.

It was a point.

Okay.

Just the 07 one bothers you?

Is that the one?

That's what Brady says.

Just the 07 when they had the ability to go undefeated and be the greatest team of all time, and they can't say that now.

That hurts him.

Yeah.

Is that the one, Hank?

Yeah, that one hurts more.

Good question, Hank.

Do you think Tom Brady hates you?

No,

I I don't think Tom hates me.

I mean,

I love the heckle Tom on social media.

I like hiding behind my phone and sending tweets at him.

When I see him in person, I just like, oh,

hey, Tom, you're the best.

I never talk trash to him in person because

he could crush you.

He's got seven Super Bowls and Super Bowl, he's MVP of the leagues and all this, but around, I'm very brave behind my social media account.

It's pretty cool, yeah.

So

you and Peyton, you obviously, you know, you guys were great rooting for each other, but if I hit you with True Serum in 2015, obviously you want him to win.

Right.

But if he doesn't, you have two, he has one.

No, no, not, nothing, not, nothing, nothing to that.

But like 1.01%.

Not that you're rooting against him, more like, hey, if he loses, it wouldn't be the worst.

No, no, no.

Are you a better, you're a better guy than that?

I'm a better guy than that.

But also,

if you had seen what he went through after his injury and and you know neck injury and changing teams and i i mean after that injury he sat out a whole year so this is now 2000 you know he sat out the 2011 season this is 2012.

i remember back in new orleans it was like marty grawl and he's like hey come come out and throw with me i just want you to see something and he he was throwing and i was like well there's no there's zero chance you can play football wow like you you can't throw it like you think it's coming out soft it doesn't like it comes out wobbly and like high like you can't rip down on it

and i was like that's like so weird and he's like i know i just like he had no idea like where the ball was like in space like behind him he's like i can't feel like where it is or what's going on and i was like this is scary and then for him to like grind it out and work and do the treatments and like kind of learn how to play this new game where he couldn't throw it as far and to go to denver and then set the nfl record for touchdowns thrown i was like that's the most amazing thing i've ever ever seen Like how things could change so much like in that six-month period where he went from, I'm like, there's zero chance you can, like, you're, there's high school, there's like my

13-year-old kids can throw it harder than what you're throwing right now.

And he just goes and

gets MVP.

But imagine if you had two and he had one.

Just imagine.

You're right.

No, you're a good brother.

You're a good brother.

I did appreciate that because it is like, you know, you guys are competing in the same league and it's got to be a little awkward at times to be like, especially when you play each other right but love your brother but you want to win this

really tough

to survive you definitely want to win when you're playing each other but when you're not you know how hard it is to get to a super bowl you know like what what it takes and how the breaks got to go your way and everything that that happens so when when you do get there you you you you want them to uh you want them to win and and i'd been around him after you lost the super bowl and it's miserable it's like the worst thing in the world i had to deal with twice for him so i like didn't want to deal with that again yeah yeah i mean there is a lot of luck that goes into winning a Super Bowl, for sure.

You have to get lucky along the way a few different times.

Do you have, I mean, there's an obvious luckiest moment for you, but is there which one?

I'm not sure what you're referring to.

So if it's David Tyree's catch, that's just how we planned it.

Right.

That's how you drew it up.

Yeah.

No, I was just saying more like the luck that Tom Coughlin didn't die in Green Bay

when it was that cold.

I mean, that was a crazy game.

That might have been the wildest game of weather football I've ever seen with his face.

I thought he was going to die.

Yes.

And then to be able to kick fuel goals in that weather was absolutely insane.

Were you concerned for his health during the game?

I was.

At halftime, you know, we come in and, you know, he's going to give our little pregame speech.

And I could not listen to one word that he was saying because I was like looking at the trainers.

I'm like, we got a frostbite situation on Tom's face.

Like, he needs some medical help immediately.

This is, this is not good.

And, and, yeah, and then Tynes going in, I mean, misses, misses two field goals and regulation overtime, and then makes the longest one of all to win the game.

It was a crazy one.

All right, got a couple last questions, then we're going to go eat some King's Hawaiian, which was very exciting.

I'm very hungry.

Yeah, you were known as a prankster in the locker room.

Is there someone who got you with a prank that you're waiting to get them back?

Well, I made a mistake early on.

I pranked one of our special teams guys, our punter, Jeff Fiegels, a longtime punter.

And, you you know, I was just like messing around.

And I, I don't know, it was like, it was a bad prank.

I like this tied all his shoelaces together and all his cleats.

So when he got to practice, he had to untie all these knots to put his punting shoe on.

And you learn quickly, never mess with special teams people at training camp because they don't do anything.

They don't go to meetings.

They don't have a game plan.

He didn't even punt every day.

It's like some days they punt at practice, some days they don't.

So like unlimited free time.

And so we were up in Albany training camp.

I did this to him.

The next day, we have a night practice.

I come out at like 8:30 at night to my car.

It's dark, and all my tires are flat on my car.

And he left me like a little bike pump.

It was like basically a bike pump just to pump it up enough to get it to a gas station.

There's no way I could pump it up all the way with this little like, you know, thing that pumping a tire.

And so I'm out there for like an hour pumping, you know, my tires up just enough to get it to a gas station to do the real deal.

Yeah, that's a good lesson.

That's a good lesson.

Don't do anything, yeah.

Special teamers, they're like, yeah,

be nice to them.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, I got one last question.

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This has been awesome.

We appreciate you coming in.

We're excited for some King's wine.

So, so good.

I think you're going to cook with our chef, too.

Do you have a Super Bowl pick?

Super Bowl pick.

Well,

I've

always rooting for the Giants.

I'll do it this way.

If you have a Super Bowl pick, you can't pick the Giants.

Okay,

that makes it easier for me.

All right, so I'm going.

I think these, for whatever reason, these are kind of been my two, I think it's a lot of

people's favorite teams to watch, but I'm going Detroit and Buffalo.

Oh, that would be

all-time Super Bowl.

That'd be great, right?

You can both these teams.

You like the stories.

You like Dan Campbell.

Buffalo's kind of been my AFC team for a while.

love josh allen they're like right there on the crisp so many so many times and obviously you know can't just you know kansas city has been this you know strong for them and and everything they're doing but uh you know i just i enjoy watching them play enjoy watching josh allen um

and uh so i'm staying with them okay yeah i mean that's i i would love to watch that super bowl but i it's also kind of mean yeah Whoever loses that is

crushing to their

close-up shop on the city.

It's like,

we're not going to get any closer than this.

Yeah, I might think about that.

Yeah, I might become like a four-year-old and be like, hope both teams can win.

Yeah, exactly.

A tie.

Tie and have fun.

Yeah, because that's

that would be all time, all time.

Real quick, how do you think the Giants are going to do this year?

I think their defense is going to be awesome.

Defense is awesome.

We're Jameis guys, so we're rooting for Jameis to somehow get in there.

Jameis is pure entertainment.

But yeah, like you said, I mean, their defense is set up to be very very good, especially kind of in a pass-happy league.

They can get to quarterback.

So I think it's one of those deals where if they can get some leads, they can get off to some fast starts, then it's like the lead becomes bigger because they can get sack fumbles.

They can get to the quarterback and really

cause some problems.

So I think Russell can do that.

He can get the ball down the field.

He can throw it.

You got guys who can run down the field with neighbors and Slayton and make the big plays, got some tight ends to get open.

So it all looks good

to make a run.

And that's a great thing about the NFL: is that you can go from winning five or six games to making the playoffs run just with a few new additions and free agency and what's going on.

Yeah, ferocious pass defense.

Yeah.

Ferocious pass rush.

Olemas quarterback.

There you go.

I've heard this before.

Yeah, it sounds like it's.

Have you said it, Jackson?

Like, hey, Jackson.

I did it.

Yeah, exactly.

Jackson's done well.

He's got the swagger.

And

so it'll be interesting.

I think Russell, you know, obviously Russell's a guy.

And, you know, hopefully Jackson gets a full red shirt year because that means Russell's playing well and the Giants are winning games.

Yeah.

And maybe some Jameis.

Maybe sprinkle in just a little Jackson.

I would love to see Jameis.

It's going to be a prime time Jameis game.

Yeah, just to, you know, just to get some sound bites.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

All right, Eli, thanks so much, man.

We really appreciate you coming, and always great having you on.

Thanks so much, guys.

Look forward to cooking with you all a little bit, get some kings of wine, get some slider sundaes going.

So it's football season, and I love some tailgating, and this will be great.

Love it.

Thanks.

Let's rip you.

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And now, here is Howie Long.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest, recurring guest.

He's been on this show.

Also, kind of our colleague now.

We're going to call you our colleague.

I don't know if you'll say the same for us.

It is Howie Long.

Your teammate.

Yeah, we're teammates.

Howie Long.

I still don't do the colleague colleague thing.

That's really,

yeah, you're a teammate.

Okay.

I like it.

It's a locker room.

Yeah, we're teammates with Howie Long.

All right, so Howie, great to have you on as always.

Football is back.

There's nothing better than the first

game of the NFL season.

We finally reached it.

What are you most excited about?

Maybe it's a team, maybe it's a player.

What are you most excited for for the 2025 season?

I think the Micah Parsons trade shook things up quite a bit.

The two divisions that

intrigue me the most are the NFC North and

the AFC West.

And you look at the AFC West

with the coaches,

Harbaugh,

Payton,

Kansas City,

it's who's who of of pro coaches and championships and college championships, et cetera.

And the young, brilliant minds in the NFC North and Detroit

who loses their coordinator, their defense fell apart physically at the end of the year and got mauled by the up and coming, you know, commanders.

And

I think they're going to be back.

The same playbook is in place, the same guy that

The guy in the front of the room who sets the agenda, you know, the culture culture is created by the accountability runs through him, both from a player and a coach.

They bring in a new coordinator and the playbook didn't leave with

the coordinator and it stays with Detroit.

They'll run whatever Dan Campbell wants to run.

Hutchinson being back is,

you saw the injury and I saw the injury and it was brutal.

And, you know, to watch him come back and, you know, Caleb Williams and Ben Johnson in Chicago, you know,

so much conversation about Caleb Williams.

You know,

is he a bust?

And which is, you know, remarkable to me, you know,

if

you were judging someone's career by their first year, you know, I would have been cut by the Raiders.

I mean, you know, it's...

Patience is a virtue and particularly a quarterback.

And I liked what he had to say.

I liked the toughness he

I saw flashes, and I think we all saw flashes of, you know, why he was picked as high as he was.

It was almost like, you know, and I never really understood fraternities of Villanova.

I mean, we didn't have, we weren't really a heavy fraternity school, but, you know, the idea of pledging something and they're going to mistreat me for a couple of months and then we're going to be friends.

It was almost like he pledged the wrong fraternity and they just hazed him.

Everything that could go wrong or anything they could do to maybe put him in the wrong position, lack of imagination on offense, offensive line issues, lack of commitment to the run game,

time management, you know, how situational football, red zone, you know, clock management, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, no place to go on hot routes.

Did he hold the ball a long time?

Sure.

But, you know, if I hit you with a hammer enough, I don't care how tough you are, you're going to blink.

And that's going to rattle anyone.

And I think Ben Johnson is a guy that comes in.

And, you know, my big question with Ben Johnson was,

what's he like in front of the room?

We know he's.

We know he's great X's and O's guy, great quarterback guy.

Jared Goff had great success with two coordinators, you know, or head coach, Sean McVay and Ben Johnson in Detroit as the coordinator.

And that success was predicated on two things: one, the run game and play action pass.

What he has in Caleb

skill set.

And it'll be interesting to see how he adapts because Caleb's a guy who's used to being, you know, off-center in gun.

And, you know, Ben Johnson's used to being under center and he wants to run that hard physical football and the running game ties into the passing game, et cetera.

And I think he'll do that.

But I think the thing that Ben Johnson can probably bring to Caleb Williams is, one, a plan.

Two, is

the ability to, he's chasing the holy grail, which is unattainable.

It's perfection.

And Ben Johnson's chasing it all the time.

Everyone you hear that worked with Ben Johnson says the same thing.

He's never happy with what they have.

It's got to be better.

it's got to be better it's got to be better and i think all great quarterbacks take on that persona and and that kind of day in day out grind and it's a and it's a grind you know it's one thing to play defensive end it's another thing to play cornerback or wide receiver or you know offensive lineman you're playing quarterback it's there's a reason why they make a whole boatload of money and it's the hardest position to play yeah yeah i really do like ben johnson a lot as a coach i think he's he's super creative what he does on offense is he was steps ahead of people at times over the past couple years.

The one knock I would put on him from what I've seen is that I don't know if he gets bored sometimes when he's calling plays, but he's got a big bag and he likes to go into his bag of tricks and he likes to run some stuff that you scratch your head and you're like, well, I'm glad that worked, but you were just kicking the shit out of him up and down the field.

I don't know if we needed to do another right tackle toss pass again.

That's the only nitpick that I have for him.

But yeah, you're right.

Like,

will he manage the other stuff?

It's kind of like you're asking, you know, and I'm not saying he's Picasso, but, you know, you're asking Picasso to paint a bowl of apples

over and over again.

And every once in a while, he throws a pear in there and he throws a strawberry in there.

And, you know, he has a diner menu of plays and creative plays and trick plays.

I think, you know, there's going to be a point of emphasis on running the football.

I think there's going to be a point of emphasis to moving the pocket.

I'll be interested to see the percentage that he's under center versus being in gun,

taking advantage of his athletic ability.

I think he's going to take more check downs, make the easy throws, stay out of third long.

It's the Detroit kind of philosophy, and you want to be physical and the changes they've made in the offensive line.

I mean, listen.

The GM made some mistakes, and I like the GM a lot.

And the GM was responsible for getting them in position to be able to draft the kid.

I think the key to any great organization is you make a mistake, you move on.

And they moved on.

They addressed it with personnel.

They addressed it with coordinator.

They addressed it with head coach.

I think the defense and Dennis Allen is going to be, I think he's a great addition.

And to be honest, I think the personnel really fits Dennis Allen's system more than it did Ibra Flus.

Yeah.

I'm also curious, just before we get into the rest of the NFL, I love watching you on TV.

You've been great on TV for a long time.

I like the chemistry that all you guys have.

It feels like you're catching up on the highlights.

You're watching the halftime show with your best friends as they're breaking down the game.

What is the dynamic when you get in there for week one?

You were talking about being like teammates.

What's it going to, like, who, is there somebody that hazes?

You were talking about hazing earlier.

Like,

is that your job?

You seem like you'd be a pledgemaster.

No, no, no, no.

As a matter of fact, they make fun of me because I'm, you know, I'm the straight, you know, shooting kind of guy.

And

I, you know, I, I think the group, we, we got lucky.

We caught lightning in a bottle.

And, you know, with your show, you know, you

don't know until you know.

And we knew right away.

And, you know, of course, there were some, you know,

there were some things that from a from a friendship personality standpoint, Terry and I have been together 31 years.

This is our 32nd year um

he's become you know as good a friend as i could possibly have we're extremely different uh and it's it's

it's a yin and yang and you know the whole thing and we're different and i would say our our green room or they call it the avocado room i guess that's because we're in la i i i don't know what that is but

The green room is

what you're trying to find when you retire as a player is you're trying to find something that duplicates you miss the football you miss sundays you miss you know the competition you miss all that the adrenaline you know the moment before the moment of impact you know there's nothing like that you know you just can't duplicate that um

i'm 65 so you know i'm not doing that anymore the closest thing i've found to that is our group if you you screw up, we're a live show.

We don't over-rehearse.

We are who we are.

And I think in the medium that we're in, it's the small screen and people kind of know and sense whether you're being authentic and genuine.

And you are who you are.

I am who I am.

And I think Terry is who he is.

And Michael is dynamic.

And he's a star and

a great player.

And Gronk is,

I can't tell you, it kind of feels like I, I'd like my fourth son is at the end of the desk.

Yeah.

Because he's just,

he's so him.

He's not trying to be anything else other than him.

He's a lot of fun.

He's super smart.

And in another way, kind of like you're, you kind of go, did he just say that?

And you're not sure if you're supposed to laugh or not, but I think he's a great guy.

Obviously, you know, if not the best, you know, he's in the conversation for the best tight end of all time.

And I can tell you physically, in person, he's a freak show and he's a great guy and he's a great addition.

It's a hard group to get with, but if you screw up on the set, in the green room, you know, it's just us in there.

And those conversations are priceless.

And that's what you'll remember.

you know i think all the guys will remember we and jimmy retired this year you know he's in his 80s and you know that it's a drive up to Miami and a flight across the country, and, you know, doing that for a long, long time.

And, you know, I think he wants to enjoy some time in the Keys, and he certainly earned it, and

we will miss him greatly.

Yeah.

I want to talk real quick because obviously you played the position, but Micah Parsons going to the Packers.

Can you explain to us, like we're five years old, what a incredible defensive end does for a defense overall and what type of impact that can have on the game?

Because it feels like that might be the move that puts him over the top here because they already had a really good roster, and then they add a guy like Micah.

You know, it's really interesting because

you run the clock back to Reggie White,

Ron Wolfe is the general manager.

Ron Wolfe was our general manager.

Ron Wolfe was there when I was drafted in the second round.

Reggie, the difference is this: Reggie was really mostly a defensive end, as dominant a player as you could possibly find occasionally he would get out on the nose or over a guard but that that was very rarely um

micah is a generational player he's 25 years old in a position that is

you know, you go quarterback and you take your pick, whether it's left tackle, pass rusher, it's, you know,

TJ Watt, you know, you name the five or six guys that, you know, are on your radar for

this is a guy on Monday that you say, one, he's positionless.

He can play outside, left side, outside, right side.

He can play off ball.

He can be in a two-point stance over the guard.

He can run stunts with the defensive end.

He can drop in coverage.

He played halfback in high school.

He's a wrestler.

all the things that you want a player.

And you know, Jimmy and I had a conversation just last week about this.

And he said, you know, I've heard he was

tough.

You know, there were some challenges there, aside from the amazing ability.

But I would think you would try to find a way to get that done.

Right.

Right.

And if you weren't going to get it done,

you waited until everyone's cap kind of number is in place and the picks are gone and next year's one and that's really going to be a late round pick.

And the second year, that's going to be a late round pick.

And that's really kind of in Jimmy's mind,

a second round pick.

So I'm not quite sure

how you justify.

what they did, but we're not in the building.

So what happened there, I don't know.

You know, Jerry has dealt with difficult players before, and Jerry is, he's a really bright man and

one of the great minds of the NFL.

And this one's kind of a head scratcher.

And I think when you look at Green Bay, you say,

what did they need?

They need Jordan Love to protect the ball a little bit more.

He got hurt right out of the bat in Brazil last year, week one, was hurt most of the year.

I'm not sure that he was right physically at any point in the year there was always something wrong

his inability to protect the football the throws that go you go

what are you doing right

he has to kind of rein that in love the running back he is

he is one of my favorites he's a frank gore

you know

Marchand, you know, guy.

I just love that kind of running back.

And he's a throwback and he, he, he's a 12th round guy.

You know, you body blow, body blow, body blow.

And he, you're going to blink.

And their offensive line is very capable.

They, they bring in a guy from San Francisco and paid him a lot of money.

I'm not sure if he's necessarily, we'll see, you know, if he's he's worth that.

The receiving core is very talented.

They draft a really talented wide receiver.

uh they they don't have a real number one i think the kid they drafted has a shot at being number one.

Their defense,

halfway's done, I thought he did a great job.

I thought he was really great.

He's not a guy that brings a lot of pressure.

Their edge pressure is inconsistent.

That was the one thing.

Gary might benefit a great deal from this.

For example,

they won one game in the division.

Think about that.

They made the play

and they won one game in the division.

That being said, you know, to open up in this kind of a game,

we're going to find out a lot.

And they struggled to win big games and they fell behind.

If you look at their schedule from last year and the outcome and, you know, end of the first quarter down 14 threes, you know, 12, three, whatever.

They were always kind of climbing back, climbing back, climbing back.

You know, teams with 11 plus wins, they, you know, I don't think, I think they won one game or, or if, if that, and

they won the games they were supposed to win, but they need to win some big games and they need to win division games.

And I think this, this edition answers the pressure question, because the question you're always asked is what came first, the chicken or the egg, or is it the pressure or is it coverage?

I'm going to tell you all day long, it's the pressure.

Right.

It's the pressure.

It's not necessarily the sacks.

it's the pressure and if gary can get off and micah can get off and this back injury

you know i i'm not buying it um i think mic is fine and uh

and i think a fresh start maybe will be good for him yeah

and i think green bay is green bay is a place where you focus on football You know what I mean?

Yep.

Their facility is their social hub.

And that's why they built the facility the way they built the facility.

It's their social hub.

And it's a Reggie White kind of addition.

I'm not saying he's Reggie White, but he's,

you know, he's on the way to, you know, if he continues to play the way he's played early in his career,

you know.

There's no stopping him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So speaking of pressure, I want to talk about the Bengals real quick because they were a fascinating team to me last year.

They had Joe Burrow, maybe he had the best year of any quarterback, didn't win MVP, but the case was there for him to win the MVP.

They had the best receiver in football, and they had the best statistically defensive end in football in terms of sack numbers.

Obviously, the defense was a big issue for him last year.

What do they need to do to just get marginally better, to get good enough defensively to make this a playoff team?

Well, they got him in camp.

They finally

made the signing.

And I think

he's free at the end of the season

without any chance of being franchised.

And they got their high pick and they've got to get production out of that.

New coordinator.

And I think if you can just...

One, if your red zone def, if you can, here's the thing with you're playing a team like the Bengals, or you're playing Baltimore, or you're playing Buffalo, or you're playing Kansas City, teams that can, you know, put up Detroit, put up 30 points.

Detroit put up what, 32.5 points last year a game.

You've got to make the other team kick field goals versus touchdowns.

And their red zone defense was bad.

Their tackling was bad.

You know, they've, they've, they've got kind of a one-man pressure situation where, you know, I think

if they can just be mill of the pack on defense and improve their red zone defense and force some field goals,

then that opposing offense, you know,

Joe Burrow is,

I'd say the quarterback position is better right now than at any point.

in NFL history.

In terms of depth of quarterbacks, I think we have have a lot of great, great quarterbacks.

You could make the case for, as you mentioned, Joe Burrow for MVP.

Josh Allen wins the MVP.

You know, Lamar, they're squaring off in week one.

You could make the case that he was the MVP.

You think about it, there are a number of guys that you could say they're MVP.

And then you look at a guy on

a team, you know, a guy that's really hard to figure and kind of label on is Jalen Hurts.

Yeah.

What do we judge quarterbacks by?

I judge them by rings.

Okay, rings and getting to the Super Bowl and playing in those kind of games.

Jalen Hurts, you could make the argument in the two Super Bowls he was in, was the best player on the field and came within a really

what I thought was a questionable penalty at the end of the game of being a two-time Super Bowl winner and a a two-time Super Bowl MVP.

Yeah, I judge it by how much they can squat.

Yeah, that's who that's important.

I judge it by how hot their girlfriend is.

That's a good one, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a great one.

If we're just doing analytics here and the league's never been stopped.

That's why Justin Herbert, big year coming for him.

He's finally embraced the role of a Southern California QB1 guy.

He got a very attractive girlfriend.

I feel like they're swagger to him.

What was that movie with Kevin Cossa?

It was Draft Day.

Yeah.

Yep.

And the one scout said, you know, they brought up this quarterback and they said, oh, he's got an, he's got an unattractive girlfriend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can't draft him.

The reason why they didn't want to draft him.

Huh?

Yeah.

I, you know, I don't understand.

You got to be a leader of men.

Yeah.

You got to be a leader of men.

I got late.

I got it early.

Well, here's a real question off that.

Does your quarterback always have to be your leader?

Or can there be a situation where the quarterback maybe isn't the most vocal guy?

Does that work in a team atmosphere, in a locker room atmosphere?

Because we know the quarterback is the most important position in all of American sports.

That's just a fact.

And everything's put on them.

Do you think teams can be okay when their quarterback isn't like the vocal guy who's yelling at people and kind of getting in people's faces?

I think there's levels of vocal, and I think you probably,

you know, at the top of Mount Rushmore, both from Super Bowl win standpoint and holding people accountable, is probably Tom Brady.

And it kind of tears down from

there on.

And I think, you know, let's talk Jalen Hurts.

I mean, Jalen Hurts is not,

you know, necessarily the most vocal guy.

He's quietly assertive.

I think when he speaks, people listen.

And I think you can also lead by example.

And hopefully, you have, there's a guy in every room that is the guy

and you're in charge of that room and there are guys on each side of the ball that invariably you know are the guys that generally

what I would say hold people accountable the most

I would say with that group it's complicated because

You know, you've got a quiet wide receiver.

You've got a more of a loud wide receiver.

You've got a tight end who's a solid guy in Philadelphia.

You've got a running back who everyone loves, respects, and admires.

I would say when he speaks,

people listen.

You know, and

I think the head coach, who reminds me so much of, you know, it seems like every friend I have in Philly.

you know, that I went to college with who are Philadelphia Eagles fans, the head coach reminds me of kind of them.

He's, he's mercurical,

He's up.

He's down.

He's screaming.

He's crying.

It's a cornucopia of emotion.

And I think his ability to communicate, forget about the X's and O's.

Forget about game plan and all that, because

who's a great walk around coach?

You know what I mean by a walk around coach?

No, like walking around before the game and like talking to everybody?

No, no.

Walk around coach is not the coordinator on either side of the ball he's not the play caller on either side of the ball a walk around coach is the guy that is

sets the agenda on monday he's the last guy to speak to the team before they walk down the tunnel on sunday thursday wednesday friday monday whatever day

uh we're playing on now

and he's the guy that you know at a point in the game

can step in and say, run the ball, let's get out of here.

We win a Super Bowl.

Right.

Atlanta, New England.

You see what I'm saying?

Yeah.

And if you don't do that, if

you don't step in on the headset and say, hey, let's run it three times.

Let's kick it and let's get out of here and let's win a Super Bowl.

Let's throw the ball.

You know, so that's just an isolated example, but I think he's a guy that reaches the players on offense and defense.

And I don't forget in Philadelphia,

when did the season turn?

The season turned right after the buy.

And I think it was a couple of offensive linemen and maybe

the running back.

And they had a meeting and they had a meeting with the coaching staff and said, look,

let's...

Let's, you know, stop doing what we're doing.

Have you seen seen their offensive line in person?

Yeah, yeah, massive, massive.

Oh, my God.

I, you know,

look, I saw it in my own kitchen, you know, at times when Kyle would walk in in a pair of boxer shorts.

It's like, geez, how do I do that?

You know, the left tackle, 6'8, 360, the Lane Johnson is.

a freak show

and he's so good that it's boring.

But when those guys walk into your office and they say,

let's run the football,

everything

comes off of that.

They run the ball in third down more than anyone.

Do you know why?

Because once they cross the 50, fourth down is just another down

because they're going for it.

And they go for it a lot.

That's their MO.

And I think a team like that is,

and what your concern has to be with a team like that, like any team that wins a championship.

And we certainly had it with the Raiders where it's

complacency.

It's, I didn't get enough.

I didn't get enough money.

I didn't get enough attention.

I didn't get enough of this.

It's not understanding the significance of the moment.

You know, it's like Kansas City.

You know, I respect.

and admire them so much for winning two in a row and being in position to win three in a row and how devastating that is to them.

But it presses the reset button.

And, you know, don't think Travis Kelsey's not on the redemption tour.

I mean,

I know the kind of player and the kind of guy Travis Kelsey is.

When you're a great player and you don't play well,

and

he, I'm sure

his physical

well-being and

his

commitment to getting ready for this season was 110% and he's ready to go and it's burned the ships and let's go.

If I'm leaving it, I'm going to die on the 50 in the fourth quarter, game 10.

But I'm going out.

I'm going out like Travis Kelsey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In last year's Super Bowl, it was big for those of us that like to say defense wins championships because I feel like we've tried to say it a lot over the last five, ten years, and there have been a lot of examples where people could point and be like, No, it's just really you need a great offense, a great quarterback, and a great play caller.

But we saw it last year.

So, with that in mind, I know the Broncos are a team that everyone's talking about, how good their defense is.

Can you tell us what you see, whether it's from the Broncos or if there's another team out there that you're keeping your eye on?

You're saying they have a really, really good defense and they could be a problem.

Um,

let me start with Philly, and I'll I'll start there because it's it's

anytime you have success, you know, Detroit lost both coordinators, you know, you're going to lose people.

You have so much cap space.

Quarterbacks generally fill that hole pretty big.

If you've got a number one receiver, C.D.

Lamb, quarterback, Dak Prescott, you know, you're going to be pressed to deal with things.

Vic Fangio is one of my favorite guys.

He's a guy I love to play for.

Loved covering him in San Francisco, love covering him in Chicago.

I think

he is the kind of coach.

Earl Leggett was my coach.

He's an old bear.

And I'd play with Doug Atkins and that whole group.

And Charlie Sumner was the defensive coordinator, and he's an ex-bear.

They hold you accountable in a different way.

I think

they're gonna have some question marks.

They've gotta replace five starters, and they also lost two backups that were probably going to be starters.

So,

whoever the corner is versus on the opposite side of the number one is gonna get a lot of work.

And that work will probably

be CD Lamb or

Pickens or whoever it is

right off the bat yesterday, you know, however that turns turns out.

But I think Houston is a team that

is going to challenge people.

Their speed, their athleticism, their reflection of their coach.

He's a guy that I liked as a player.

I liked as a coach, and I thought he was a great hire for them.

They got lucky with the quarterback.

He kind of stepped back.

I think the protection was bad down there.

I think you have to kind of play complimentary football.

You can't have your defense on the field all the time.

You can't be three and out, three and out, three and out, turn over in the red zone.

You know, it's, you've got to play, protect the football.

If you're not going to score, at least control the ball a little bit, keep us off the field.

How deep are you, Philadelphia?

What's their edge going to look like right now?

Who's going to come off the edge?

I'm not sure who that is.

Their back end is a little thin.

They've got to get on the same page.

Maybe it takes them three, four weeks.

But there are teams that you say,

if they get in, like the Rams, the Rams were a great example.

This defensive front is young.

It's talented.

It's physical.

They're a different kind of edge presence.

You know,

the kid really, Verse, really,

he's in your chin quick and he's on you.

And he's not fancy.

He's not, you know he's not micah parsons he's he's a guy that's wants to go through you and he's coming and he's you know it and it's joe frasier

and they got in and matthew stafford was upright and they came within a play a breakdown in protection not not where you got physically beat you got mentally beat

it was a breakdown in protection on the final play from maybe upsetting philadelphia and advancing

So, you know, it depends.

I think the defense, you know, there's a lot of good defenses around.

I think you have to play complimentary football.

You've got to play to the strength of your team, understand what your defense is,

and

force people to kick field goals, particularly if you have a Joe Burrow offense or a Patrick Mahon's offense or Jackson and Josh Allen.

I love watching these quarterbacks.

These quarterbacks are great.

Yeah.

All right.

Howie, I got one last question for you.

This is awesome.

We love talking ball with you.

I just can't wait for football to be back.

This is, yeah, it's the best because, like, right now, I'm in that spot where I don't know what's going to happen on Sunday.

I want to see the games and then talk about it.

It's fun to talk about it, but it's like we've had all summer to think about what these teams are going to be, and now we get to actually watch them play.

Uh, roback question: rho back.com, promo code take 20% off your first purchase, q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com, promo code take.

Do you have a Super Bowl pick?

Do you do Super Bowl picks?

You know, if we do them, we'll probably do them on our show.

Okay, then do them here.

Give us a preview.

Listen, I think, you know, I'm always of the mindset that

the champ is the champ.

And, you know,

I would always go with that.

I would say Philadelphia.

I would say a dark horse would be Tampa Bay.

Yep.

They've quietly kind of in

an easier division, relatively easier division.

And I think

over in the AFC,

you know, those two guys, Josh Allen and Lamar,

you know, they've been knocking on the door and knocking on the door and knocking on the door.

I think Kansas City is going to be a better team, not win as many games.

I think it might be Buffalo with the easier schedule, Baltimore with a tougher schedule, with an opportunity to get one game up in conference week one.

I would say Buffalo and Buffalo kind of, you know,

everything comes together.

The gods, you know, are kind to those fans up in Buffalo, and they finally get it done.

Yeah.

That would be great.

That would be great.

From your lips to God's news, that would be an awesome way to end this season.

What about a team that

did make the playoffs last year that you could see in a world they could regress and miss out this year?

It might be a team in the AFC West.

You know, I'm not quite sure.

I'm not sure about the Chargers.

You know, I think

Pete Carroll coming to the Raiders, and I mean, trust me, you know,

I said I was, I made this analogy before.

I've been Sisyphus pushing the stone up the hill for decades, you know, waiting for the Raiders to be back again.

And Pete Carroll coming in the building brings an energy genti.

I think they're going to run the football two tight ends.

It's going to be a little old style football.

Max is,

you know, God, he plays the game the way it's supposed to be played.

He's, if not the best, one of the best.

And I think he's one of the most, I think he's as disruptive a player as as we have.

Length, he's like Gumby.

He's like all over the place.

He looks like that thing at the car dealership where it's blowing in the air.

He's just so long and rangy and he's tough and he wants to be great.

I think they could surprise some people and make that division a lot more interesting.

So I think maybe a team from that division might take a step back.

Denver, I think, is on its way up.

Yeah.

I think also the lack of Puna Ford.

Puna Ford is one of those guys that you don't talk about that much, but you need him.

You need a guy like that on your defensive line.

Plug it right.

And losing him is going to be tough.

Yeah.

Big time.

Howie, you're the best.

Football's back.

We'd love to have you back on later in the season where we talk some games.

And your teammate now.

Anytime.

I'm unemployed during the week.

I love that.

Thank you so much, Howie.

You're the best, man.

Appreciate it.

Thank you.

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Okay, boys.

Fire of the week, Henry.

Yes.

The fall's back.

Nope.

Oh, not really.

This has been looming.

Golf season's over.

At least it's cut in half for you.

It's more than half.

It just goes to basically one day a week,

which is sad.

But fall golf is fun.

Makes you appreciate it when you can get out there a little more, you know?

Yeah.

But speaking of golf season, this has been kind of looming over my head since July when we did the long drive contest.

I owe PFT $8,000.

That is true.

It's actually $9,000 because he sent me $1,000 for something that he didn't need to send it for.

I didn't send it back.

So it's like, I owe him $9,000 right now.

I'm a man, man of my word.

Pay my bets.

I'm not just going to, you know, try and forget about it.

So I came up with a plan.

Okay.

I presented to PFT.

So he kind of accepted, kind of didn't.

He said, we'll talk about it on the show.

So this was my plan.

$4,000 of the $9,000,

split it up into eight

$500 bets.

So, you know, either one a week or two a week.

$500 parlays that are eight to one.

So $500 to win $4,000.

It could be more if he wants.

Okay.

I like to pick them.

And then obviously, if one hits, I just give him the $4,000 right there.

That part's done.

As an apology for not paying me back on time, I'm not going to charge you interest because this apology is so good.

That's huge of you.

We call it the I'm Sarlet.

I like that.

And then I would like to play PFT in a 18-hole match play for five grand.

I love that.

Okay.

With handicaps.

Hank's like, I'm going to golf my way out of this.

Okay.

Yeah.

With handicaps.

With handicaps.

Okay.

5K.

Love it.

Match play.

How many strokes do I get?

What's your handicap?

I think it's 22.

21.

Technically, it'd be 12.

I'd be willing to give you like 13 or 14.

I'll take 14.

Can I attend?

Yeah.

Do you have time?

Whose side should I root for?

That's up to you, big cat.

Let me ask you this.

When can

we can you attend?

We'll attend.

Between me and Hank,

which one of us do you like to annoy more?

Well, so here's the problem.

I don't want to see Hank lose more money, but I do want to see Hank lose on camera.

So I think I'm going to have to root for PFT and then maybe loan Hank money.

I don't know.

This is going to be your problem.

I mean, think about it this way.

Would you pay $5,000 to see Hank lose on camera again at golf?

Yes.

Okay.

In tragic fashion?

Yes.

Easy choice.

Yes.

Easy choice.

Easy choice.

Yes.

Can we put in something for this?

What if PFT beats you straight up?

Because that has happened before.

There should be $10,000.

Yeah.

I'm fine with that.

There should be something.

Double it.

Yeah.

It's

not match play.

Match play.

Oh, match play.

Match play.

Okay, got it.

18 holes.

So that actually favors Hank more.

Wait, I'm confused because I don't know golf.

Not skins.

No.

Not skins.

You just actually keep your score.

Match play.

Match play meaning.

I don't fucking know what it is.

Like one person wins a hole.

So it doesn't matter if I shoot like a nine on the first hole.

It still counts as a loss.

The hardest hole is heat.

If somehow you do beat me straight up, like with all strokes considered, yeah, I would maybe just quit golf.

Okay.

Oh, retirement match.

Retirement match?

That's great.

I'm going to train.

Retirement match would be awesome.

It's so much harder for this than I did for the internet inventory.

Retirement match is awesome.

So much harder.

I'll give you

late September, early October.

A real professional golf instructor here in Chicago, I will find time in my football schedule

to work out.

I do love Will Smith.

He was a great bomb.

I'm going to set that up for you.

Oh, you're going to take Will Smith?

This is like

when you get divorced and you find an attorney and then the other person can't use the attorney.

You're going to take Will Smith from him?

I don't think Will Smith would ever get divorced.

Damn.

But yeah, no, Hank,

I'm now very excited about beating you at golf and taking the thing that you love the most in this whole world away from you.

So am I.

Very excited.

Me too.

May the best man win.

And may you win one of the Sarlays.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, so what happens if you lose all those?

Well, that's just, those are his bets.

Got it.

Yeah.

I like this.

You're being coerced into...

Getting the bets.

Well, he can say no.

No, I'd say no.

He could say no and take the $4,000.

Because let's be honest, I didn't want to just take $9,000 in cash from Hank.

That would feel weird.

I don't know where that money's been.

But if he's going to do it in the form of a bet, that's fun for everybody.

Okay.

So, yeah.

Hank, thank you.

Will you post the sarlays?

Yeah.

Okay.

My firefest of the week is that Hank's a fucking piece of shit, and I hate him, and he ruined my NFL opening day.

This is crazy.

Why?

Because he didn't pay you back?

No, no, that's.

He's just forever, never going to get the money.

I think that's why he did the I'm Sarlay thing right now because he feels so bad about what he did.

What did he do earlier today?

What did he do?

Hank's rolling his eyes.

I like it.

We know this is magical day for everybody.

Oh, it's been looking forward for adults.

Yes, we've been looking forward to this.

It's back to football.

That's what today was for me.

It's like back to school, but it's NFL season.

And I'd been looking forward to this for months.

I'd planned out my outfit, what I'm going to wear first day of football.

I went out, got a special new shirt.

What'd you do, Hank?

I walked in feeling real good about myself, too.

I was like, I look great.

This is a very fashionable choice that I've made today.

It has every NFL team hand sewn onto this shirt.

And Hank saw me, and the first thing that he said.

Nope.

Oh, first thing I said.

That was a premature aunt.

I didn't even say what the first thing you said.

That was a good aunt.

That was a good answer.

It was a good aunt.

But the first thing they said to me was,

six shirt is that bootlegged.

Fact of fiction.

Yeah, I said I liked it.

So your aunt gets an aunt buzzer from me.

And so

one of the logos is falling off.

No, it's not falling off.

This is hand-sewn on.

Is it?

What logo?

It really screwed up.

It's bangles.

I can see it.

It's

falling off.

It's like a little loose on the bottom.

No, it's called fashion, bro.

You don't know anything about it.

All I asked is just, I didn't know if it was officially licensed or not.

So the worst thing about it is after Hank said that, I just started thinking about how much money I paid for this shirt, and he thinks it's bootleg.

Can you guess how much the shirt cost me?

$300.

No,

it was $140

for the shirt.

That's how much I respect the shirt.

I would pay $300 for it.

And then I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, I spent $140 on this shirt and it looks like shit.

It looks good.

It does look good.

When I got up close, it just looked like some of the logos were, it looked like you might have, it looked like

a sick shirt.

It looks great visually.

From the NFL shop.

From the official NFL shop.

And then Hank has to say, that looks like a bootleg asshole shirt that you're wearing.

I just asked a question.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to offend.

Well, it offended.

I'm offended.

Because you would never get a a bootleg anything.

No, I respect the shield enough to spend my hard-earned cash at the official NFL team shop.

This is one of those shirts that I think only I bought.

Yeah,

I don't know why they have it in so many colors.

Yeah, I didn't know that it came in other colors besides red because red was the first one that showed up for me.

So I was like, yeah, I'll get the red shirt.

But now I feel like I think red might be the worst color.

Yeah, by far.

By far, not even close.

Every other option is pretty good.

Yeah, not even close.

I'm going to have to wear this.

I feel like only on Sundays, like Tiger Woods.

Yeah.

Yeah,

the sky blue is nice.

The black is nice.

Because you guys know how much fashion means to me.

Oh, it's your life.

When I came in today, I'm feeling really good.

It was like seventh grade all over again.

My mom bought me Jinkos.

I was like, I'm cool.

I got Jinkos.

He walked in.

Everybody was like, dude, those aren't Jinkos because she got me the skinny Jinkos.

Yeah, he new shoes blues you.

Remember

when you come into school with new shoes and then your friend would go new shoes blues and just like put, you know, rub their foot on top of yours and make them not look as nice?

They'd ruin your shoes?

Yeah.

New shoes blues.

That's fucked up.

I agree.

He did that to you.

He did it.

That's right.

New shoes blues you.

I'm sorry.

The Bengals logo looks like it's about to peel off.

Okay.

You're not sorry.

Is that a sign?

Should we go against the Bengals?

Yeah, which of the campo based on this shirt?

Which of the logos looks the worst to you, Hank, right now?

Bengals.

Titans.

Titans has not got the greatest placement.

It's a good-fitting shirt.

I have that shirt, too.

Yeah.

That one's a better shirt.

We know that shirt.

I like the Rams.

He doesn't like the Rams.

It's like succession or

severance.

Like, which logos are making you angry right now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because why does it say LA Rams?

Isn't it just LA?

Like, that's their logo?

No, this is the official team logo.

Come on.

It's on the official team shop.

Come on, memes.

This is the most current all-logo NFL team shirt that they sell in the world.

Yeah.

This is a good one.

It's a little bit more understated.

Yeah.

So, okay.

It's not good for the listeners, but it just says the NFL shield on the front and all the logos on the front.

If you're listening at home, imagine a black shirt with the logos on it.

Yeah, understated isn't really my thing.

It is understated.

Yeah.

So Bengals, Rams, this could be the Sarlay.

Yeah.

Cardinals.

Yeah.

Bengals, Rams, Cardinals.

Okay.

Dolphins.

All right.

My Firefest is my ear is still clogged.

I have a clogged ear for two days now.

I just think it's just what I live with now.

There's nothing I can do.

There's nothing I can do.

I had an idea.

Lay it on me.

Somebody should suck it out.

Zach?

We're like that.

If we think it'll help, I don't want you to go through so many days, clogged years.

That's no good for anyone.

This fucking sucks.

I've given up on, like, kind of a little bit of given up on life.

Because I was trying to fix it yesterday, and then I got to a point where I was like, it just is what it is.

Like, I think this is how Beethoven beethoven went crazy that's probably what's going to happen to me i have no idea if this would even work but is there like a like a 20-foot pool you could like descend to the bottom of to try and like force it out i don't know i have a hot tub i was thinking about getting into it and just dunking and holding my breath underneath it for a long time but that could work i'm taking another flight on friday so maybe it will even out maybe that's i've been waiting because i part of me also hit a point on wednesday night uh where i was like you know what this is actually perfect this is how sad it's gotten i was like it's perfect It's going to pop right before

week one.

It's going to be a miracle because I know that the minute it pops, it's going to be the best feeling ever.

You should get Jerry to scream in your ear.

I should.

That might pop it right out.

My other Fire Fest is, and I shared this video with you guys, but

the,

so Mr.

Pear got adopted.

I took my kids to the zoo on Sunday.

We were at the turtle exhibit.

Figured, you know what?

This is a good time to break the news.

And I broke the news to them that Mr.

Pear is no longer with us, adopted.

We can go visit it.

That was a lie.

And then my son was like, but you still have your rabbit, right?

We had a rabbit in this office for one day.

He has a memory.

Most six-year-olds have that type of memory where they're like, oh, if they see one thing one time, they'll talk about it forever.

I panicked under pressure and I said, yes, we still have the rabbit.

So now we have to get a rabbit.

I could hear your voice when you asked that question.

Because it was very funny.

You guys got a glimpse of how quickly I panicked and tried to pivot.

There was a moment where you're like, should I say this?

Yeah.

Yeah, here it is.

It's like, do I want him to cry about the rabbit in the aquarium?

Yeah.

So

we found a new home for Mr.

Pear.

So that's far at your work anymore.

No, he's not.

But we could visit him.

You still have your rabbit, right?

The rabbit, I think, is in.

Yeah, we still have a rabbit.

That's what it happened.

And my son was immediately was like, oh, great, you still have the rabbit.

So do you think he knew?

I'm fucked.

Do you think he knew how cute he sounded when he goes, you still have the rabbit?

Yeah, you still have the rabbit, right?

And I just, there was like a moment.

It was like my life flashed before my eyes.

I was like, can I explain to him that Brandon Walker brought in a rabbit for one day as a joke?

And then the follow-up questions would be like, who's Brandon Walker?

All this stuff.

Just said, hey, yeah, we still have a rabbit.

So I think I'm just going to have to like...

I'm going to have to do like a duck.

Like every time I, because I do bring him in the office a lot in football season, like on Sunday mornings before we're here all day.

I think I'm just going to have to like rent a rabbit every Sunday And just be like, hey, here's the rabbit.

He's back again.

Or maybe just get a cage and be like, the rabbit's sleeping.

Or hibernate.

That's a hibernate.

Tell him rabbits hibernate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In the fall.

So I'll update.

I'll probably bring them in this weekend before Football Sunday.

So I'll update on Monday, let you know how it goes.

Yeah, maybe I'll just be like, we lost the rabbit.

Let's try to find the rabbit.

That actually is like a good 30-minute that I could burn.

Yep, just like looking under stuff in this office.

That might actually be a bad idea.

Yeah, that's probably a really bad idea.

I understand why.

What's this giant green dildo, Dad?

Yeah.

He doesn't know what the dildo is.

It actually would go worse.

It would go, look at this toy.

Yeah.

I really like this toy.

This is my new favorite toy.

Can we have one at home?

Yeah.

But I panicked.

I panicked.

The bright lights, it was too much for me.

Don't you still have a rabbit?

Was just a question I was not expecting to take, and I couldn't handle it.

You don't want to have to explain to any child

who Brandon Walker is.

Right.

But I know your son's a big Tom Fornelli fan.

Yes.

So

you could have lied and and said, Tom's rapping.

Oh, Tom's the best.

I'll say this.

Tom Fornelly has gotten all my kids' gifts.

Brandon Walker has gotten none of my kids' gifts.

Interesting.

That's just something I'll throw out there.

Interesting.

All right, Zach, finish us off.

My fairy fish of the week.

So me, Memes, and Max have decided there is a current booth weight loss challenge.

Oh, the boys are trying to get healthy.

I'm in.

They're going to try to put

60 pounds in a bucket.

You in?

Yeah.

So 80?

I'm down for 80.

You guys down for 80?

They're not down.

We could do 80.

Can we juice the weigh in a little?

What is it?

Yeah,

well, we did our weigh-in on Tuesday.

We've already started our weigh-in.

Because I can fluctuate 10 pounds in a matter of like 12 hours.

So the beauty behind this weight loss challenge is Max's big thing is he's getting an air fryer.

Yeah.

And that's up to interpretation.

And Eagle bites?

And he's putting it right next to him.

So his way that he's going to lose weight is by putting the food closer to him.

Yeah, that's

really smart.

We also have three kitchens in this office.

Max,

I would like to say that I've done the same thing.

Do you remember, Hank, when I got that mini fridge?

I was like, I'll put a mini fridge under my desk and I'll just load it up with cold cuts and that's what I'll eat.

And what PFT just described is exactly what happened.

I just ate more because I had a mini fridge and then I'd put other things in there, slices of pizza, everything.

Well, we do have a fridge over there as well that I'm going to get operational soon.

So that's part of the plan.

And don't, I think it's a good plan.

Don't tell me it's a bad plan.

No, I'm not going to say it's a bad plan.

I would like to not only be in, but I would like to be the financial backer of maybe healthy snacks.

Maybe I put up the money.

You guys, Zach, you go and get the healthy snacks every week because

we also need we need a ref replenish of healthy snacks.

Hank, question.

Per your, similar to your question to me, is, is there like something that happens if you guys gain 60 pounds?

Memes has an idea.

We got a couple suggestions.

So if we don't do it, we have to

put 65 pounds on till the Super Bowl.

That's one option.

You have to intentionally get fat.

You have to intentionally get fat.

Wait, what's the time limit that we have to do?

I said that.

I said...

Christmas.

One thing that was talked around is that you just have to get a tattoo on your body that says fat.

Oh.

I like that.

Okay, yeah, it's a good idea.

Crop top.

I already have the tattoo.

This plan that Max has.

just says fat.

It's called my two tits.

Yes.

Well, yeah.

The plan that Max has is like, oh, I'm spending too much money on booze.

I'm drinking too much.

Tell you what, I'm just going to get.

I'm not cutting out booze.

We're just going to have a keg instead.

That's going to make it better.

What if it's 60 pounds between the four of us?

That's doable.

15 each?

Well, that would be, yeah, for sure.

I think we need to set a real estate.

Hank is always trying to yuck everyone's yum.

Yeah, you are.

Look at that.

That was a yuck face that you just left his shirt.

Yep, yeah,

he's a hater today.

But, Max, you're yucking your own yum by taking away all the things that you like to eat.

No, I'm going to try.

I'm going to make healthier versions of the things that I like to eat.

That's what I keep saying.

There's ways to do it.

I follow

so many TikTok accounts of people that make healthier versions of the things.

Oh, wow.

Okay, so you're there.

You're basically a nutritionist.

Basically, yes.

No,

the recipes that we're about to rip out this fall is going to be crazy.

Don't shake your fucking head.

You two are both the kings of like, all right, we're going to, I've seen you both.

It's called being fat, Hank.

No, I know.

Literally every, do you know how many times?

But you guys eat healthy, you get healthy food, and then we have like pizza and stuff, and you're like, yeah, I'll just have a slice.

Like, yeah, and then I'll do that.

I did that on Sunday.

It's going to happen the entire season.

Listen, do you know how many times in my life, and Max, I know you, I know you feel the exact same way.

In my life, on like a Sunday night, I have had the conversation with myself.

This is when it all starts.

This is when I'm changing it.

I eat like so much food and then I'm just like, yep, tomorrow's a new day.

That conversation is probably the most, that's the most conversations I've had in my own head in my entire life.

Can I just fast forward to like a month from now what's going to happen?

It's pretty obvious.

All right, Hank.

You guys are all on board right now.

I'm rooting for you guys.

I hope you guys lose all the weight.

Big Cat's getting involved and he's like, yeah, I want to lose weight with you.

Big Cat is going to try to do something to tempt everybody at some point to make them strong.

Maybe put a bunch of like Ben and Jerry's ice cream in the freezer and be like, I've got a GoPro on.

I'm going to have an ice cream machine in the office already.

Yeah, to see who's going to eat it.

And then he's going to try to catch you guys to be like, You're not living up to your end of the bargain.

And then everyone's going to get mad at each other.

And then you're just going to gain weight.

Incorrect.

This is actually going to go the opposite of what you just said.

I would love that.

And a month from now, and I haven't lost any weight,

where I'm actually going to go to the needle and do Ozemp.

So that maybe

you're saying Ben and Jerry's.

I'm saying

I'm just going to up it up.

I'm just going to step it up one notch.

I was going to say,

if I'm involved in this, I am not going to change anything about my life.

And then, like two weeks before the deadline, starve myself.

That's most likely what's going to happen.

I like Max just a good play.

It's not going to work, so then I'm going to get on junk.

I'm going to start shooting.

Yeah, no, yes.

Also, whenever we need a PM TV during the season, Max and I have verbal agreement.

We're going to try to do a 72-hour fast.

We're going to see if our brains become super powerful by the brain.

Actually, Jerry was telling me about another one that I love.

Watermelon diet?

Yes.

I heard that.

I like that.

No way that works.

I'm in.

I'm in.

You can eat as much watermelon as you want for three days, but it's a fast.

Yeah, which Jerry's a dietitian.

Are we talking about Jersey Jerry?

Jersey Jerry.

Jersey Jerry.

Watermelon fast.

Nutritionists in the comments.

I think it's a very ocono.

I would buy it.

Yeah, that's the wrong Jerry.

72-hour though, is going to rock, Max.

I think we're going to have super brains.

I think I'm going to die.

I think I'm going to die, too.

But if we do it together, we can do it.

I don't know.

But we can drink coffee, black coffee.

Black coffee, and watermelon.

Yeah, that's not.

No, not watermelon.

Come on, the watermelon.

Oh, I thought watermelon.

I would never.

Yeah.

Yeah, but it's a healthy sugar.

Yeah.

The Jersey Jerry diet just fast and you can only suck toes.

All right, well, we'll talk.

We'll convert.

I would like to financially help out the because I eat so many of the bad snacks here.

I would like to have an option of good snacks.

Maybe I'll get us some jerky every week, too.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, TJ put us on some Quest chips.

Yeah,

I got the Palina meat market.

Shout out my guys there, the best jerky in Chicago.

I'll bring in like a pound every week.

Love that.

It would be awesome.

But hey, stop laughing, PFT.

I see you laughing.

It's obvious what's going to happen.

The jerky is going to be a supplemental snack.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Yeah, it's going to be very salty.

Yeah, and it's delicious.

I'm sure it's great.

I'm going to eat some.

String cheese.

No, you're not allowed to.

Let's not act like we're just going to be doing like keto every day.

I don't know if we can.

String cheese?

String cheese is good.

It's good.

Protein.

We're falling apart either.

No, string cheese is good.

You just need a caloric deficit.

Also, official weigh-ins are every Tuesday, so nothing.

Monday.

You got one grace day from the weekend.

You guys pull this off hand also extra quick golf.

I'm not.

I'm

continuing to drink alcohol.

I'm just putting that out there.

All right, I'm saying continue not to.

Ice cream.

But you continue ice cream.

I continue to lose.

You just got to be light on Tuesday mornings.

Okay.

I might start drinking more alcohol.

My football resolution.

I've been off beer for a while.

I think I might get back into beer, guys.

To keep things honest,

we were not even 48 hours in, and we thought the healthy guy moved.

Max was drinking ice cream at 10 o'clock this morning.

I had one sip of ice cream.

I had one sip.

Chaps here does an ice cream coffee every morning, and he was like, you got to try this.

So I had a sip out of respect.

Out of respect.

Come on.

Are you not going to eat?

I mean, we got to get wings tonight.

Wait, wait.

No, no, no.

I'm just kidding.

I'm not eating wings.

I'm not eating those wings tonight.

I've been looking forward all day to my wings.

If you don't eat wings, like if your team was playing tonight and you didn't eat wings before the game, you're jinxing them, right?

Right.

That's bad luck.

Absolutely.

Yeah, if you eat a salad before week one of your team banner night, that is probably the biggest loser move of all time.

I'm not going to be able to do that.

Spitting in the face of food, healthy wings.

You're snipping.

I'm spitting in the face of football.

Homemade healthy wings.

I'm going to have to make my own homemade healthy wings.

Bagel bites.

Let's do some bagel bites.

I think Max's

healthy recipe thing is just everything that calls for sour cream, use Greek yogurt.

That's true.

It's great, great replacement.

I already bought Greek yogurt.

It's in the fridge back here.

Oh,

love that.

Okay.

Good show, boys.

Football's back.

Reminder, we're releasing the YouTube early er,

5 a.m.

Eastern, 6 a.m.

Central.

Next time you hear us, it will be

boomers, numbers.

Three.

Gotcha.

I just thought about what PFT said.

Since I've started this diet, every meal I've had has had Greek yogurt in it.

Yeah, every single Superfund.

I made a Tziki,

and then I made, last night I made a

burrito bowl, but I use nice Greek yogurt.

It is a good diet hack.

Memes, you got beat there.

We'll go 89, Jericho Cotri.

22.

I'll go.

What Super Bowl are we at?

I'll go 76.

Is this Super Bowl 60?

56.

Max, what Super Bowl did you just win?

Is it 60?

I think it's 60.

No.

You don't know what Super Bowl you just won?

No, it's 56.

Oh, so 57?

What else you guys got here?

57.

It's looking like this year's meeting.

No, if we won 57.

59th.

Okay.

We won 57?

No, you won 58.

No.

He's not locked in.

Not a math guy.

What Super Bowl is this Super Bowl?

I'm sure oh yeah it is 59 59 all right i'm gonna go with 59 58 56 i was close to 60.

uh all right 56

8

99 pug

19

73 what was your number hank 22

what was your number memes 89 jericho copper

I got a good feeling about memes here.

57.

Damn, Zach was so close to back-to-back.

Damn.

Zach went 56.

We should have just rode with my 56 call.

Back-to-back would have been sick.

Would have been awesome.

Man, that was so close.

Love you guys.

That happens more than you think.

Love you, football.

Coincident.

Numbers.

Maxim 56, 1957.

Moldie Born, 808.

That one done.

They're tennis and ten.