Joe Buck In Studio, Bears Lose MNF, CFB Talk + Guys On Chicks

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On today's Pardon My Take.

We're going to talk some college football.

It's Wednesday.

We're also going to talk Monday night football.

The Bears suck again.

We have a little cleanup of week one in the NFL.

We also have our very good friend Joe Buck in studio.

Awesome interview with Joe.

AWLs, nine-time AWLs know the Joe Buck.

You can't tell the history of Pardon My Take without Joe Buck.

And it was great having him in studio, catching up with him.

Really great time with him.

We're going to bring back Guys on Chicks, hot seat, cool throne, great Wednesday show for you.

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Today is Wednesday, September 10th.

And I got to be honest, guys, we did a really bad job of not talking a lot about the Bills and Ravens game.

That was what a game.

It was an incredible.

Talk about a fourth quarter collapse.

Oh, man.

What a game.

I don't think we'll see anything like that this year.

Woo!

Because we were recording and we should have probably stopped and watched the end of the game, but we did it live.

Josh Allen had 251 yards in the fourth quarter alone.

So I did go home on Sunday night.

And in case you guys thought that I didn't watch enough football on Sunday, I watched the entire fourth quarter of the Bills Ravens on my couch.

And it was a pretty, it was incredible that Josh Allen was able to do what he did.

Now, granted, the Ravens Ravens did choke it away.

Yeah.

The punting, I get all that.

The fumble was a big thing.

Not going for it on fourth and two.

Not going on fourth and two is insane.

You're the Baltimore Ravens.

But also, fourth and two, you're backed up in your own territory.

Your defense is going to be pissed off probably if you go for it on fourth and two.

You're going to be like, what the fuck, dude?

You don't trust it.

In the moment, when I was watching it, not live, but when I was re-watching it live, I thought to myself, I can see the Ravens punting here.

The bigger thing was the Derrick Henry fumble.

Yeah, that's Derrick Henry fumble.

That's what the difference of the game was.

But this is a John Harbaugh loss.

He's got several of them.

I saw the stat that he's got more double-digit losses than any coach since 1991.

Like double-digit meaning like double-digit leads that were thrown.

That's kind of a misleading stat because you have to be a very good coach to get that record.

Yeah.

Not only to build a double-digit lead, but also to coach long enough to get that record.

But it does feel like he does something like that every year, where whether it's like, oh, you forgot that you had a running game or why did you punt there or your running back fumbled or your defense didn't play anything resembling your defense from last year, especially when it counted.

But Josh Allen played awesome, just unstoppable.

He looks like he's playing the game on easy mode, and that was maybe game of the year in week one.

That was, I mean, that I still can't believe the Bills won that game.

It's, yeah, he looks like he's playing on easy mode.

Like, if I know there was a discussion of whether he should have won the MVP or Lamar Jackson, I know it obviously doesn't matter what happens week one, but that did feel like a statement.

251 yards passing in the fourth quarter is just, he he was just dicing them up.

It was, that's why you have to go for it on fourth and two.

I know what you're saying, but there's just no chance, like, Josh Allen was that good, it doesn't matter.

And the Bills, maybe their defense gets fixed, but Josh Allen is playing at such a high level that I don't know.

And that's pretty much our week one recap.

Uh, there's some other cleanup that we should get to, too.

Yeah, week one.

The Bears fucking suck again.

So, Monday Night Football was not fun.

Obviously, that was a joke, guys.

I know everyone was like, hey, the Bears got to start the show.

That was was a little tongue-in-cheek that we didn't clean up the Bills-Ravens game.

Yeah.

The Bears do not look any better this year than last year.

Kale Williams does not look any better.

It was sloppy.

It was gross.

I would say the only thing that was a plus was that I actually knew we were streaming it, and I said it when

the pick six happened.

I was like, this game is 17-6, but it's way closer than we realized because we're one Vikings

touchdown away from this being a tight, tight game.

And the Bears' offense couldn't do anything outside of the first drive.

Penalties everywhere.

Ben Johnson didn't have a great debut.

The defense tried their absolute hardest in the first half.

Had J.J.

McCarthy in hell.

Credit to J.J.

McCarthy for coming out of hell and looking awesome in the fourth quarter.

But yeah, the Bears are bad, and

it's looking more like a four-win team.

And Caleb Williams is just not good.

I don't know if you can say they look just as bad as last year.

There were some times last year when they looked real, real unfixable.

They didn't improve.

I mean, they didn't improve on an improved roster, and that's really more on Caleb than anything.

He didn't look better than what he looked last year.

Everything is, he's not reading the feed well, the field well.

The DJ Moore, if you watch the DJ Moore miss, that was such a clear sign of he gets to his progression so late.

He's looking in the flat.

He sees DJ Moore late.

He tries to make a throw late, and it just air mails over it.

The first drive, which was fun to watch, it wasn't like the first drive outside of the Roma Dunze pass on the sideline, which was a great pass.

Like, it wasn't like they were so sharp and hitting everyone.

It was a lot of Caleb scrambling

and like, you know, check downs, which I guess credit for hitting the check downs.

But yeah, he doesn't, he's not good right now.

I don't know if he'll ever be good, but I'm not going to pretend that he was like, oh, I saw a lot there that was like very exciting.

It was very similar to last year where he doesn't feel like he's reading the field and it feels like the ball's late on a lot of guys.

And

yeah.

Here's what I saw.

Here's what I saw from Caleb, especially in the first half.

In the second half, it didn't go well.

The two missed throws that he had in the fourth quarter, one to DJ, the other, I think, was to Roma Dunze, where he just like, I don't even know who he was really passing the ball to.

It went just like so far out of bounds.

But in the first half, I saw him getting to his check downs and making the decision to scramble way faster than last year, where he would like take sacks last year.

But that doesn't mean he's reading the whole field.

He's not good right now.

Like, you can't, I'm not going to pretend that he's good.

Like, he's, hopefully, he still becomes good, and you can't overreact fully to one week.

But it wasn't, watching this, I wasn't like, oh, my God,

he's fixed or he sees it.

He's not good right now.

I overreacted to that pass to Roman Dunze in the first quarter.

I did.

Oh, it was a great pass.

Because he threw the fuck out of the ball.

It was a great pass.

It was a laser beam.

And his scrambling was pretty good, too.

It all went to shit.

Everything, everything bad happened to the Bears in the second quarter.

Scrambling doesn't mean shit.

You got to be able to throw the ball in the NFL.

The fourth down on

the second or third drive, too.

That was bad.

Really bad.

Missed wide open guys.

I mean, Troy Ickman was saying it all night.

He's just not seeing the field.

And

it's frustrating to watch.

And yeah, I think overall, like the defense was awesome in the first half.

The pass rush was awesome in the first half.

It obviously faded because you can't expect your defense to be that good

the entire game.

Brian Flores also coached a great game in the fact that he kind of roped the Bears.

Yeah, he did.

He didn't blitz a lot in the first half.

Then he dialed it up in the second half.

I've been saying for a year, like Cairo Santos,

nice guy.

You can't survive in the NFL with a kicker who doesn't have a leg more than 50 yards.

And you saw it

in the time situation at the end of the game where he was told to kick it out of bounds or out of the end zone.

I don't think he has the leg to kick it out of the end zone.

I don't know why Ben Johnson didn't tell him to kick it out of bounds because it's only a five-yard

difference.

We discovered a loophole in the NFL rulebook yesterday, which is if you just kicked, even if you just kick the ball forward like a foot,

just move it off the tee, you breathe on the ball and knock it forward, the penalty is going to be illegal procedure.

You get the ball on the 40-yard line.

The clock stops.

Zero seconds run off the clock.

Correct.

Should have kicked it out about it.

Also, like kicking it, try to kick it through the end zone and then have the head coach of the other team actually giving on-the-field coaching be like, yes, I approve of this return.

Please run it out.

That was a mistake by Ben Johnson.

JJ McCarthy, gamer.

Dude, is that number one gamer that we got right now?

I was super impressed with J.J.

McCarthy.

I know the pick six was really, really bad because it was.

It was probably like the easiest pick six ever, but

was in absolute torture in the first half.

He looked like the moment was way too big for him.

And the way he bounced back and the way he played in that fourth quarter, that was also the painful part is the Vikings have a guy.

Like I saw it with my two eyes.

And I was like, this is what a quarterback, a winning quarterback kind of looks like.

And yeah, he's still a rookie, so there'll be some ups and downs.

But if you're a Vikings fan, you have to be pumped with what you saw in that fourth quarter, especially how the first half went.

Is Is JJ McCarthy?

Is he eligible for Rookie of the Year, like in the NBA?

I don't know.

In your second year, if you don't play?

I'm not sure.

We got to get to the bottom of that.

But yeah,

I think he's become the number one gamer now in the NFL.

It's like, well, yeah, as bad as things can look.

He's just going to figure out a way to win.

He's lost three football games in his life.

Yeah.

Since high school.

So going back to high, didn't he lose?

How many did he lose in college?

He lost one.

One or two.

I think two.

I think two.

Or maybe only one.

So it was interesting to watch him after the game because his teammates were more fired up than he was with him.

Yeah.

They were like so happy for him.

Yeah,

he lost one in college.

He lost to Michigan, I believe.

His

sophomore year.

He was shit kicked out of him by Georgia.

Or sorry.

Yeah.

They beat Ohio State.

Yeah, the Georgia game down in Florida.

So yeah, he's lost three games total as a starter.

He's

yeah.

And the Vikings,

the only silver lining I have for

how bad that Bears game went is that the Vikings might be really good.

Remember, this is a 14-win team from last year, starting a rookie quarterback.

Their roster is very, very good, and you could see when they could start to run the ball and lean on them with Jordan Mason and Aaron Jones, like everything kind of opened up for JJ.

So, yeah, the Vikings are good.

The Bears are bad.

The Bears are going to get their asses kicked by the Lions in a get-right game in week two.

And

I don't know what they do.

Like, it has to look better sooner than later with Caleb.

Otherwise, I don't know what you do.

I had a very mean dream last night, Big Cat.

Okay.

Very mean dream.

It was like the troll brain was activated while I was asleep.

I dreamt that, in a surprise to you, we had Ryan Whitney on to preview the NHL today and that you destroyed the studio.

Yeah.

You like lit the studio on fire.

He's with Wits.

Listen, Witt is well within his right to dance on my grave right now.

I texted him last night.

I was like, I give up.

You win.

Connor McDavis is going to win a Stanley Cup.

And he's like, yeah, but he's going to do it somewhere besides Edmonton because you ran him out of Edmonton.

I was like, yeah, you're right.

I did.

I did do that.

But no, Witt has every right to

shit on me.

I do have a question about Caleb and his attire.

People were shitting on the long gray shirt last night.

What are your thoughts?

I have a thought.

My only thought is I need him to be better at football.

Yeah.

That's an approach.

Hank, what are your thoughts?

You're the fashion guy.

It was gross.

It was very PFT-esque.

It looked like he just kind of got dressed in the dark.

He was shot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There was no thought on his swagger or his look.

It was like

he was wearing his pregame shirt and just threw his jersey on over it.

I saw Caleb and I was like, I like that.

Look good, feel good.

I like that look for him because it tells me that he doesn't give a fuck what he looks like.

That's a bad thing.

As a quarterback, I want you to just go out there and just be focused on football.

but then he does the painting his nails which means he clearly cares about you know he cares about his his fashion and stuff he does he he dress he's considers himself I think a fashionable dressy guy dressy like he does wear dresses yes and like fashion shit like he he he's it's not like he shows up just wearing like jeans and a t-shirt every game right I don't know I saw it I was like I kind of like the fact that he might not give a fuck what people say about how he looks

he's not good

right now

doesn't Doesn't matter.

He could wear nothing.

He's just not good.

Like,

I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

I'm not going to be like, oh, I saw a little bit that first drive.

No.

He's got to be better.

You're the first overall pick.

You have to be better.

And I'll.

My.

How do I say this?

I think I was at a 0% Bayjant meter going into the game.

It's not crazy, but it's like maybe a 2% right now.

You're thinking about it.

It's a 2% Bayent meter.

The pageant meter woke up.

It was like, whoa, this thing is going on?

Yeah.

Yeah, but you got to think with a coach like Ben Johnson, he can find a way to make, like, if there's anyone that's going to be able to mask his flaws and make it work.

The one thing that Troy Aikman kept saying, which is true, is like...

They, with Ben Johnson and Jared Goff, like they were not throwing the ball deep.

They were just getting the ball to their skill players and getting them in space.

And he was missing those throws.

Like, there was a couple of them where he was just, you know, throwing screens behind the line of scrimmage, and they were bad throws, and they couldn't even get going.

And hospital passes, like DJ Moore, poor DJ Moore.

The fact that he came back in the game after that collision, there was that moment that was just a car crash.

Yeah.

Yeah,

it was.

It was.

Even some of his biggest plays were kind of like, he put your guys in harm's way.

Yeah.

And a lot of his biggest plays were scrambles, which was nice, but again, you have to be able to throw the ball.

So, yeah,

I guess, again, the two silver linings I have going is the Vikings might be really good.

And I didn't get ⁇ so I did on the stretch with the guys.

I went through the entire schedule, and my official prediction was seven wins.

It's probably more like five now, maybe.

But I wasn't like I was going into this season being like, this is a 10, 11 win team that's going to go to the playoffs.

What were you thinking in the first or second quarter?

I actually, no, I'm being totally honest.

Like,

first drive was awesome, but it was so quickly like not good.

you know what i mean like it wasn't like the the bears the bears with competent quarterback play should have won that game by double digits because the way they had the vikings reeling in the first half they just didn't capitalize and so i i was very quickly like hey that first drive was cool but we're not moving the ball at all now and yeah there was the one the darnell right

hold that wasn't a hold could have maybe changed because that was a big play.

That was a

play that essentially went from it would have been first in 10 on like the 18 to whatever it was, second or third and 20, and then Cairo misses the field goal.

That was a pretty big fuck-up in terms of the call, but you can't blame a ref for a game where you have a lead at home and you give up 21 points in the fourth quarter and your offense can't do dick.

Yeah, the defense was pretty bad, especially against the deep balls to Justin Jefferson and

losing the running back on a starter route.

I don't put that in the linebacker.

That's a good play call.

Yeah, we did have some guys out in injury, but it doesn't matter.

It's like you can't make excuses.

At the end of the day, if Caleb plays,

I don't know, 25% better, they probably win the game.

And he didn't play well.

So that's just the, that's the reality of it.

You got to just be truthful about it.

Like, that's the reality of it.

It's year two.

And I would like to see Ben Johnson have a little bit more confidence, too,

because the clock was kind of a fuck up at the end.

The penalties were a mess.

But hopefully he figures it out.

I have all my trust in Ben Johnson.

That's kind of all my eggs are in the Ben Johnson basket.

And I've got J.J.

McCarthy on Tebow Watch.

He feels like early stages Tebow.

He's where it's like things go poorly for him, but guess what?

He's going to figure out a way to win, and he's going to drive people insane watching because they'll be like, this guy stinks.

Oh, wait, this guy's actually really good.

Yeah.

We also have some cleanup on that college stat.

TCU was his only loss as a starter, but he also had two losses his freshman year.

But he played, he split both of those games.

He didn't technically start,

but he played in all of those games.

That was some good cleanup.

Yeah.

And then going back to high school, he just kicked the shit out of everybody.

Yeah, but everyone kicks the shit out of everybody in high school.

Everyone says that about

Trevor Lawrence.

Yeah.

Did you guys see the tweet yesterday of like, it was like, how often are Max and memes in your ear while you're recording PMT?

That was weird.

Yeah.

Like, yeah.

The amount of times I say stupid shit just to the normal microphone, why would I be in your ear?

I think someone thought we, PFTI, wear earpieces and like you guys

like give us lines to say.

What lines would they give us?

This show, the beauty of this show is it's all out there.

It's all talking heads.

Yeah, it's all out there.

Well, all the stupidity that we just put into your head every single morning, it's...

It's there.

We're just beautiful people.

Hank's right.

We're beautiful people that just sit behind a desk, max and memes write the whole show.

We're industry planners.

Puppets.

They wanted two beautiful faces to deliver the sports news to you, so they chose us.

All right, so just to wrap up, I would say Blame Pie:

90% Caleb, 9% Ben Johnson, and 1%

Cairo Santos.

No.

Actually, no, yeah, you're right.

So 80%

Caleb,

10% Cairo, 9% Ben Johnson, 1%.

Say memes, just blend it on memes.

Anyone want to talk here?

Anyone want to talk?

Anyone want to talk?

Ben Johnson should get more blame.

Yeah, how bad do you think that challenge was?

I still don't really understand.

I feel like he punched the ball out.

Well, his knee was down.

I know.

No, but he didn't get touched.

Let's watch the replay.

I still don't really understand that play.

There was a couple of penalties that were weird.

Yeah.

I still don't understand that play.

He punched the ball before he got touched.

I think 1% Joe Buck.

Yeah.

No.

The ball is part of your body.

I don't know.

I thought maybe.

Coach should know.

Yeah.

Coach should know.

Anyone else want to take a percent?

You think Ben Johnson's get more memes?

Yeah, he was the fourth down guy and the Lions, like, go for it more.

Who cares?

You're just like, I do.

So, yeah, I put a little bit more because I do think that Ben Johnson did the thing.

You have to coach the team you have.

You don't have the Lions anymore.

Probably should have just taken the three to start the game when they went for it on fourth and three.

And then, if you're going to go on on fourth and three the first time, go for it the second time.

Be consistent.

Like, consistency is what we always talk about.

Where if you're going to be aggressive, be aggressive all the time because eventually it will work out.

Or be the take-the-points guy.

I kind of lean towards this team and the way they're built.

Probably just take the points because you know you have a limited quarterback.

So maybe a little bit more on Ben Johnson.

But is there anyone who wants to take 1% here?

I'll take a 1%

for sure.

Wow.

Okay.

Why?

Because

there was an adequate soft serve for Monday Night Football, for the Bears Vikings game.

And that's on me.

So at halftime, it's going well.

Not great, but it's going well.

Went to get my ice cream.

Ice cream machine was off.

Monday night football.

Campbell.

First, week one.

What happened?

Bears.

Ice cream machine wasn't on and fully stocked.

That's 100% what happened.

And they went to get ice cream for a a halftime and there wasn't ice cream.

What happened though?

Why was it off?

It wasn't stocked.

So there's like levels to the

mix that you put in there.

And then it'll, when we leave,

when we leave.

Okay, let me get this down quickly.

When we leave at night time,

we flip it to where it goes into standby mode to keep the mix food safe.

When it goes into standby mode, it can also be ran

because it throws the snowflakes on to keep it food safe.

So you can pull ice cream from the machine through the night if you would like ice cream uh but it was it was in double do not

uh it went into do not draw which is the the handle so then you couldn't know you couldn't you couldn't even draw ice cream

do not draw so i went in at halftime to go get my ice cream

and i saw do not draw

Zach deplorable yeah I actually put 0% blame on you Zach I feel bad for the cream team because I did text them I was like hey what's the deal with the ice cream?

They're like, we fucked up.

Zach's not the only member of the cream team.

No, no, it's Jacob as well and Owen.

And they just kept apologizing on text.

And I kept on being like, it's not your guy's fault.

The Bears,

the ice cream has nothing to do with the Bears sucking and Kale Williams not being good at quarterback.

What about the field?

Can you blame the field?

Why does Soldier Field do this?

Because

the city owns the fucking stadium and the park district owns the stadium and they do six concerts a week before the first first uh game every single year and this is why they're moving to Arlington Heights.

It's a joke.

Yeah.

It's an absolute joke.

I was going to take 1%.

I was on the field for Oasis.

Yeah, so that's your fault.

Yeah, your weight did that.

The good news is that I'm sure that

the international rugby game between the New Zealand All Blacks and Ireland that's taking place, I believe, on a Saturday, isn't going to have any effect on Soldier Field.

They do this every single year.

We're right before the season starts.

Like, hey, let's just fuck.

It was like seven concerts in like two weeks.

I'll say one nice thing, one very nice thing.

They had the best national anthem maybe I've ever seen last night.

Jim Cornelson is

a legend.

Absolutely incredible.

From the second he opened his mouth, the very first O, I was sucked in.

And then the F-35 flyover was very nice.

You know what I said on Sunday?

Like, you know, like, if you're a Dolphins fan, it's never bad that the number of to his cap is being floated around week one.

The sign for the Bears is: I turned to Eddie in the fourth quarter.

I was like, How many standalone games do we have still?

And he was like, I was like, Can we flex?

And we cannot flex, I think, any of them.

How many do you have?

Three more.

Non-flexible.

That's not as bad as last year's.

Actually, you had four, four more.

Every week it was like more Bears.

Get ready, America.

There's four more.

One of them is flexible.

So Commanders, Monday Night Football, which that actually okay because it's a doubleheader.

Yep.

So people can watch something else.

And then Eagles Black Friday, Packers on a Saturday, and then the 49ers Sunday night football, which will undoubtedly be flexed.

I think you're being very, very down about the Bears because you just saw them.

It was on national TV.

If this happened in the middle of a Sunday, if this happened 1 p.m.

Sunday, you'd be down.

But I don't think you'd be like, Caleb sucks.

Ben Johnson sucks.

I don't think I'm being down.

I think I'm being realistic.

Caleb does not look better.

He looked bad.

That's just a fact.

I have to say it.

Otherwise, I'm just fooling myself.

He looked bad.

I hope he gets good, but he looked bad.

And that's a game that, don't you agree that that's a game with an adequate quarterback play?

Yeah.

You win the gecky.

I agree.

I think he was a big part of the reason why I lost.

But I also think that...

Knowing you, it was like you had Monday night football.

It was week one.

So it's like all the pressure in the world.

You spend the entire week thinking.

What if we suck ass in primetime again, and then people just keep talking to me about how Caleb Williams sucks.

And that's what you're going through right now.

And that's okay.

Feelings are never wrong, big cat.

No, but I'm not.

But I also think that if you look at it from a bigger perspective, it's not as bad as you say it is.

But it's not, when people say now that Caleb is bad, it doesn't hurt me anymore.

It hurt me last year because I was hoping that there was going to be, you know, I was like, oh, the coaching staff, oh, this, that.

You can't argue against that right now.

From what we've seen in the NFL from him, he is not,

he is, he doesn't see it.

It's not there.

You can get treatment for dyslexia if that's what it is.

That's hippo.

That's why JJ's...

I did say it was hippo.

But that's why JJ's parents were so brilliant.

It doesn't matter if he's got dyslexia.

He can still spell his name.

That's hippa, and you should be arrested.

That's hippa.

That's hippa.

Any other cleanup from the NFL?

It was a fun Sunday.

It was a fun Sunday.

Anything else?

You could win next week.

Oh, Howie's back.

I think that's just

such a Detroit Lions get-right spot.

But like,

what does that even mean?

You can't have a get-right spot to start the season.

It's a whole new team.

Well, no, it's not a whole new team.

But it is.

Every year is a new team.

Every year is a new team with new coaches.

You don't know what the Lions are this year.

It's week one.

Yeah.

Like, you guys played a very good Vikings team to the end.

They got the shit kicked out of them by a very good Packers team.

You have no idea.

If this happened at 1 p.m., I think Big Cat would be down, but I don't think he'd be like, oh, fucking suck again.

But hold on.

I don't know.

Thank you, Hank.

It's not that the Bears lost.

Caleb does not look any better.

That's the problem.

A lot of coachable moments in this game.

It's almost better to lose week one.

Tell me about that.

But do you guys see what I'm saying?

It has nothing to do with the actual outcome of the game.

It's like if they had lost and Caleb looked awesome, I would not be sitting here being like, damn, the Bears suck.

They're going to lose every game.

They stink.

They can't win a game.

It's the fact that he did not look any better

than last year.

There were like three or four throws that he had.

That if you watch the Manning cast, Peyton Manning's face afterwards tells you everything you need to know.

That's my point.

It's like, uh-oh.

And

that's kind of what we had going into this season.

It's like everything is there for him.

If he gets better, the Bears could be a decent team.

If he doesn't get better, they will not be good.

I did not see him get any better.

Hopefully, he gets, maybe next week, it's totally different.

I'll obviously rally the troops and be like, yeah, let's go.

But as of right now, you can't make a statement otherwise.

You can't be like, he's going to get better.

I also think.

Is that fair?

I think that Dan Campbell is maybe the most dangerous guy when it comes to a revenge game.

It feels like this might be a revenge game.

Yeah.

Yeah, Howie is up to it again.

He did it again, Max.

Fucking Howie.

Wait, is this a good fucking Howie or a bad fucking Howie?

This is an, I guess fucking Howie.

Oh, oh, like Howie was bored.

Yeah, so he said,

okay, I feel like that was going to be your take.

Yeah, no.

Fucking Howie question mark.

It's like, fucking Howie,

somebody distract Howie because he's going to keep trading.

He just needs another running back.

He just got, yeah, he was just like, I got to do something with my hands.

Yeah.

That's what it feels like.

Is he addicted to trades?

I don't know.

There was a lot of things that...

that you could have seen that you need improvement from in week one.

I didn't see running back on that list.

Yeah.

What was the logic behind it?

I don't know.

But I mean, he's a good player.

I think what happens is...

Player is Tank Bigsby, by the way.

Yeah, Tank Bigsby is a good player.

I think what happens is there are teams out there that are like, okay, I want to move on from this player.

And how he doesn't give a fuck about what he needs.

He looks at that and is like, is this a good player?

Yes or no.

If it's a good player, I will go try and make that trade, whether I need that position or not.

Which I guess is what you want from your GM.

You want to see value.

Like he thinks that Tank Bigsby is more valuable than what the Jags were asking for.

So he went and got him whether the Eagles need him or not.

It was like a buy-low opportunity for him where it's like Tank Bigsby might have lost the running back competition.

So his stock is pretty low right now.

But that doesn't mean that he's a bad player.

Right.

Also, great name.

Awesome name.

First team all name.

That name bumps him up.

big time in terms of like excitement for the trade.

Yeah.

Tank Bigsby.

You can win with with that.

But how many more wins is Tank Bigsby going to give the Eagles?

Probably like one and a half.

I guess

there will be

a game against her.

Maybe he's the new.

Who's the guy?

Boston Scott?

Was that the guy that just killed the Giants?

Yep.

That was the first time.

Maybe Tank Bigsby's just going to have awesome games against the Giants this year.

I wanted to say that we could beat the Giants regardless.

Yeah,

I'd say so.

Although Jackson Dart might be the starter.

No, I think, didn't Daybull come out yesterday?

He said we're sticking with Russ for the first time.

Oh, he did yeah i think he said russ is going to be the starter this week okay so he's going to jackson dart will be the starter soon yeah i still think week two and you already are are proclaiming a starter i feel like it's going to be uh right after that chiefs game was that chargers at home yeah yeah that's that's what i've got circle but yeah if if you're taking two days to announce your starter in week two that means that that guy's not going to be your starter much longer yeah uh

okay

uh what else we got anything hank how you feeling good you love football Last time it was fun, yeah.

Yeah.

These are the hardest days to get through, the Tuesdays and the Wednesdays.

Yeah, with Help Maxion.

Yeah.

It's very difficult.

It just feels like there's...

I'm going to go home tonight and just be like, wait, where's the football?

Yeah.

Where's the football?

I might re-watch.

I might grind small 22.

Are you feeling nervous, excited for Thursday night?

I just, again, since it's a short week, I think that the Packers need to do the right thing by their players and rest Micah Parsons.

Thursday night football is dangerous.

He was an injury report, he was.

He's got an injured right wrist, which is coincidentally what I get after I watch Jaden Daniels' film.

Also, his mom doesn't let him date girls.

Well, no, that's not true.

So, that's not true, big cat.

That's not true.

That's fake news.

That was a a quote that was taken from when he was in college.

Still,

he's cleared for girls.

Oh, he is?

Yeah.

He's, yeah.

His system's hot.

Is his is his uh right wrist okay?

His right wrist is fine.

My understanding is it's fine.

It's just a boo-boo.

It's just a boo-boo.

He's got a boo-boo.

He's got a little boo-boo.

And he'll be okay.

Yeah, I'm a little bit nervous about the Packers.

It's a good game.

I'll be honest.

Packers are a great team.

They looked awesome in week one.

We looked good.

We didn't look awesome.

Just a little boo-boo.

All right,

let's talk some college football.

Before we do that, let's talk about game time.

Can you look up that game?

See what the prices are for the Commanders and Packers.

Also, speaking of injuries, this would be a good time to break out.

So there's been an uptick in dogs breaking news on Twitter recently.

Shout out Ricky Scoops.

He nailed the Micah Parsons news.

This was kind of Leroy's thing.

He retired from the game when he died.

But I think I'm training Blake to become an injury expert because he's had three surgeries so far.

So he's pretty much an expert on anything related to joint problems.

So pro football dog is something I'm considering deploying with Blake.

He wants to start breaking news.

So he might have to dive into Jaden Daniels' wrist and he'll let you know what he thinks.

Okay.

Yeah, that was good.

He could maybe go on the McCaffrey beat.

Yeah.

The Niners are just injured again.

They are.

Kittle's out for a while.

The Niners have like surprise injuries that you don't hear about during the game and then afterwards it's like, oh yeah, this guy's hurt too.

Yeah, McCaffrey's hurt.

Trent Williams got bumped out of the game and then Kittle with a hamstring.

I feel like

that's one where it's really, really annoying if you're George Kittle.

Purdy also hurt.

Purdy also hurt.

Purdy's hurt?

Yeah, he's on the list.

That's right.

So Mac Jones might have to start, right?

Oh, boy.

Oh, God.

Oh, boy.

Dear God.

Oh, boy.

The NFL sucks.

Yeah.

That's early for the Niners to have.

Yeah, it's like having a beer before noon.

It's like it's a little early in the season to have Mac Jones.

Yeah, it's week two to have these guys.

Okay.

Game time.

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Okay, college football.

By the way, speaking of college football quickly, our good friend Todd McShay is doing a live show tonight.

Wednesday tonight,

7 o'clock at the Lincoln Hall

on Lincoln in Lincoln Park.

I am going to be his guest.

So you can still buy a few tickets.

There's a few tickets still left there.

If you want to come out, see us talk some ball.

Go Go buy those tickets at Lincoln Hall tonight, 7 o'clock Eastern, or sorry, Central.

Me and Todd McShea.

Tod, Todd, Todd.

Tod, Todd.

College football.

USF is the best team in the country, resume.

Hmm.

Debate me.

U.S.

USF.

USF, as I said.

USF.

I thought you said USC.

You said USF.

Oh, I said it.

Yeah.

I thought I said USF.

I think USF, because going to say, I meant CC.

I actually thought of the same thing.

They do have

USF.

Are they the only team that's beaten two ranked opponents?

I believe so.

So they beat Boise State, and then they beat Florida.

I think you can make the case.

They should be ranked higher, top 10.

Yeah.

The Florida win was Billy Napier is,

I mean, he's just dead.

He's just gone.

Does America have a spitting problem?

It does.

I think we need to learn how to keep our spit to ourselves.

It is crazy for it to be Thursday night football, Jalen Carter spits on Dak Prescott.

You don't think that every single coach in America on that Friday morning was like, hey, guys, you see that?

Don't fucking do that.

Yeah.

And then they did that.

What?

You didn't tell the whole story right there.

Well, Dak Prescott really is the first one who started this.

Okay, so we had two spits.

Yeah.

So you're allowed to spit on the ground.

You are allowed to spit on the ground.

Not in someone else's direction?

Well, according to Dak Prescott, he spat on the ground because he spits a lot during the the game.

Yeah, and then he just immediately...

Jalen Carter happened to be standing right in front of him at a scheduled spit time for Dak Prescott.

So what do you want him to do?

Followed by a laugh?

A maniacal laugh right into Jalen Carter's face.

That just happened to be.

Oh, is there a penalty for laughing?

For having a good time.

Oh, that's a good thing.

Jaden Daniels

would lead the league.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

Did you see after the game?

So my take on Jaden for the last year has been that he jokes and he talks to the other players so much so that they don't hit him extra hard if they've like got him in the grasp and throw him on the ground.

And it worked twice on Sunday against Brian Burns.

And then after the game, Brian Burns is like, he's too friendly during games.

I don't like that.

Talk to me after the game.

I think he's trying to become friends with me.

And I think it does work.

But yes, Dak Prescott,

Max, he happened to spit when Jalen Carter was standing right in front of him.

That's true.

Either way, now we've got three spits.

Yeah, if you're a coach, you got to tell everyone, hey, don't spit.

Florida, then spit.

Billy Napier is all but out.

And USF and Alex Golish, who's an awesome coach.

He was at Tennessee before this.

He was like kind of the, not the guy, but like everyone's like, he's one of the important pieces of Tennessee and hype all.

And Byron Brown, they're awesome.

And they have another game against Miami this weekend.

I mean, if they win this one, it's, I don't even know, but they can lose this one, and they're still the front runner to get into the college football playoff with those two wins.

If they beat Miami, they should be ranked number one.

Yeah.

They're another, they're 60 and a half-point dogs again.

Yeah.

And they got a Gratica.

Speaking of the G5, PFT, we all were rooting for you hard on Friday night.

I thought we were going to talk about the Bills and the Ravens again.

We can't talk about the Bills and the Ravens.

That was a

fourth quarter.

Incredible.

The first half, the Ravens just dominant with their run game.

Didn't look like they could be stopped.

Second half, I don't know what happens.

I'd say fire harbaugh.

251 yards for Josh Allen in the fourth quarter.

Unstoppable.

Unstoppable.

But yeah, we were rooting hard for you on Friday night, JMU, against Louisville, because it was a gateway game.

If you win that game.

Yep, there's a path.

There's a big path.

There still is.

There's a small path.

It's like a little stream that you can swim in and hope it gets to a big river.

But yeah, it was a good first half for the Dukes.

Second half, everything went to complete shit.

Louisville had some big plays, and they were just a better team.

How do you feel about the two-quarterback system?

I don't love it.

I think if you've got two quarterbacks, you've got two.

Okay.

Because they both, ironically, Sluka is the better runner.

Yeah.

And then when Barnett's in, you're like, oh, it's going to be a pass.

Wait, why is that ironic?

Because Sluka's younger.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

No, but that might fuck with the defense coordinator a little bit.

They're like, oh, the white guy's in.

Oh, shit, he's running.

What's going on?

Yeah.

I don't mind it because, like, listen, you're like in the second tier of college football if you're in the group of five.

So, yeah, good teams have two quarterbacks a lot.

And also, it probably makes it less likely that one of those guys is going to transfer after the season's over because they won't be seen as being the guy, unlike what we see like at, was it Cal, Cal's quarterback?

Yeah.

Um, that's probably going to be leaving.

But yeah, it was, it was a good first half.

Really good.

It got my hopes up.

I blame myself a little bit.

Number one, I scheduled a dinner on a Friday night like three months ago,

and I did not realize because it's Friday night.

I'm like, oh, I'm avoiding college football.

I'm avoiding NFL.

At the time I scheduled it, I I forgot that it was both college football and NFL.

So I was at dinner for the first half checking in on the highlights.

Inexcusable.

Inexcusable, but we got a lead.

Yeah.

And so then I was like, do I just stay at this dinner?

I we were texting on the group text.

I was like, you have to eat another dinner.

I tried to order extra dessert and nobody at the table wanted dessert.

I was like, should we just not go anywhere?

And then I, you know what?

Does anybody else here want to take any sort of blame for Jay Mu's loss?

Anyone else?

Anyone else?

Anyone?

Zach?

I'm in for 1%.

No,

it's a bad Zach.

Not you, Zach.

You had nothing to do with it.

I'll double.

I like Zach just taking 1% of blame for everything.

Zach, apologize for taking the blame.

I can give it back.

Okay.

Okay.

Anyone else?

Is it me?

Yeah, Max.

What did I do?

I watched the second half with you.

You chose to come to the bar.

Yeah, but you were there.

I don't understand how this has anything to do with it.

I said 1%.

I'm not allowed to root on.

I was betting on JMU with you.

I know, but I bet on JMU like five times Friday night.

So it sounds like you had a lot to do with this.

Oh, this is crazy.

You bet on them more than I did.

Would you prefer to me to bet against them?

Sometimes.

Can't exist.

Yeah, this is a can't exist.

This is a big time can't exist.

This is very clearly me just looking for somebody else to get it.

All right, true.

I'll take 2%.

There it is.

2%.

I'll take 1%.

You got to be a fall guy.

I need a fall guy.

No, it was a bad second half.

And, I mean, there is still a path there.

We're going to need some help.

But, I mean, we haven't even started a conference play yet.

Yeah.

Mississippi State, awesome win against Arizona State.

That was a crazy, crazy ending.

That guy is so fast for Mississippi State.

Yeah, yes.

Is Cover Zero one of those things that it works a lot, but we never hear about it when it does?

Yeah, it feels like it gets a lot of blame.

Cover Zero's got a bad PR system.

It does.

It just doesn't.

Yeah, that was awesome for Mississippi State.

They haven't had a lot to celebrate and they've already matched their two wins uh from last year so good for mississippi state happy for our guy brandon walker felt like a big big moment uh i was in ames iowa on saturday awesome crowd those two teams don't like each other those two teams also play the exact same football game every single year yep it's groundhogs day

I want to, so

we like Gronowski because he came in here and we met him and he's a very nice kid.

Is it something about the Iowa uniform that just makes it like if you're a passer?

It's a combo, I think, of the Iowa uniform and the last name just seems like an Iowa quarterback, too, doesn't it?

It just doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

The Iowa was supposed to be a passing team this year.

They are not.

It's bad.

I thought that with the Steelers scoring a shitload of points, that maybe Iowa football would catch that through the uniforms.

Yeah.

They'd be lighting it up again this year.

But no, the Scihaw game, every year it's the same thing.

I bet the over,

just thinking it was going to be different.

That was dumb.

I'm an idiot for doing that.

I'll never do that again until next year.

But yeah, it was not a great football game.

But you're right.

They do.

I don't think that there's two fan bases that actually hate each other, like literally hate more than Iowa and Iowa State.

I think like Ohio State, Michigan is close.

But when I'm talking about like just mean, like very dirty shit, They do hate each other.

They hate each other.

Especially for that one week.

They hate each other a lot.

It's just the classic, like the school, the state school that everyone knows and recognizes with the state, and then the other one.

And Iowa State being the other one, which was an awesome campus.

And I don't mean the other one, but that's the national perception where it's like you got the, it's like a Michigan, Michigan State situation.

We also had, yeah, I do want to play this woman.

This is Kaylin DeBoer's got to be worried.

I know the Alabama got right.

They're going to probably smush the Badgers on Wednesday on Saturday.

I'm fully prepared for that.

But this lady is the most SEC lady ever in

coming out of a

convenience store, being asked what she would do if she won the Powerball.

I'll tell you exactly what I'd do with the first $70 million.

I'd pay off Kalen DeBoer and get him the heck out of the University of Alabama.

And then I'd take whatever else it took to get rid of the AD.

I'd give my church money.

Kaylin DeBoer's got to be worried that any

he's got to look at the paper and be like, were there any Powerball tickets winners sold in the state of Alabama?

Yeah, it's weird because Texas and Missouri.

Yeah.

It's usually California.

I think California gets an outsized number of lottery tickets, but they don't care enough about football in California.

But yeah, if it's sold in Alabama, yeah, he's gone.

Yeah.

He's gone.

I also saw on our friend Message Board Genius, he posted that Florida fans are down so bad, they're like, one guy was like, I'll take Caleb DeBoer.

that's when you get to the bad part where like the sec schools are trying to trade each other's bad coaches just take urban meyer back yeah you guys need to start cheating again they want saban saban is gonna saban could coach for name is price how much do you think alabama would pay saban a lot it okay let's say this lady wins the powerball first thing she does before she pays her church she fires the ad

and the head coach, Kalen DeBoer, buys him out.

What's Saban's number?

I don't know if he has a number.

He's got more money than he ever needs.

Would he do it for $100 million a year?

I think he hates the NIL and Transfer Portal, which is also a little bullshit.

I saw that statement by him being like, the Big Ten now has all this money.

It's like, you were paying.

The SEC was paying for years.

That would be the funniest is if he, like, let's say Penn State doesn't live up to expectations this year.

fires Franklin.

Yeah.

And then Saban's like, I'll coach at Penn State because the Big Ten's got all the money.

The Big Ten's got all the money.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Yeah, we had Fran Brown for Syracuse with a try-hard move of the week, making his players run sprints after an overtime win over Yukon.

Yeah.

That was so late.

It was funny.

It was so late.

It's such a try-hard move.

If you're going to do sprints, you've got to do, they've got to be longer than what were they, 20-yard sprints?

Yeah.

And the guys, here's my problem.

The guys weren't even sprinting.

No.

So this is how I know it's a fake try-hard move.

Correct.

It's because the players knew, oh, we don't actually have to sprint.

This is what he's doing instead of a post-game press conference right now.

Yeah.

And also to give reporters something to ask him about so he doesn't have to answer any of his stupid coaching decisions.

So if he was real about it, these guys would be running their asses off because a coach that would do that and mean it, they wouldn't let you leave the field until you actually sprinted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got to be puking.

Yeah.

You got to have a couple guys puking.

Also, John Matier is awesome.

That Oklahoma game, I'm happy for Oklahoma fans.

The way he stops and starts on a dime is so fun to watch.

He has that ability where he'll, at least once or twice a game, stop and have a guy like go right by him.

And he made some sick passes.

Bryce Underwood, this is where it's weird in college football today because everyone knows how much he's getting paid.

He did not have a great game.

And Michigan feels like they're in a spot where there's people calling for Sharon Moore.

Biff Pogey, by the way, all-time football guy is back.

Did I just take another hot sequel to Ron from you?

Yeah.

Okay.

Sorry.

It's fun.

He is the

all-time interim vibes.

Do you know what the greatest part about Biff Bogey is?

Like, he's such a football guy.

I don't know.

His name, he wears the cutoff shirt.

He was Charlotte's head coach.

Do you know that he's a millionaire?

Yeah.

Like, independently wealthy.

Like, like high millionaire.

High millionaire from, he had a hedge fund.

He traded stocks.

He doesn't need to coach football.

He loves football.

And his name's Biff.

And his last name's Pogey.

Yeah.

Pretty good.

Washington State might just be, that might be the number one farm system for quarterbacks in the world.

What's that?

I mean, Ben Arbuckle, their OC, who is there,

now is Oklahoma's OC.

He's kind of the next up, like QB guy.

Yeah.

I also saw there were a couple Michigan boosters were whispering about making calls to Sharon Moore, being like, you got to let this kid off the leash.

You got to let Bryce Underwood throw the ball more.

Yeah.

So now we've got millionaires telling 18-year-olds how to play the game.

Tricky.

What do you think about that, big cat?

That's a tough spot where it's a tough spot.

They're just kids.

As a nation, that's a tough spot.

They're just kids.

Yeah.

Do you guys think Arch Manning is hurt?

Yes.

No.

Okay.

Because this is one of my hot seat cool throws, but we can get into it.

Okay.

I think he was just taking a shit.

Okay.

So that was what Sark said.

Yeah.

After.

I choose to believe Sark.

What about the wincing on the throws?

Yeah, he's taking a shit.

My understanding, if you didn't watch the clip, Arch Manning on a couple throws winced and made, I don't think this would qualify as a Manning face.

This is like a pain face.

It looked like he was in pain.

He was in pain.

And then Sark was asked about it, and he says, do people take pictures of you and show your face to everybody when you're using the bathroom going number two?

Because you probably make some weird faces then, too.

So I think what Sark was telling us was that he shit himself when he was making these passes.

He had to shit.

I also think there's maybe a chance Sark was saying that the writer's horrible comparison.

Yeah, the writer's only skill.

Talk Sark.

The writer's only skill is taking poops.

Yeah.

Like, Arch can throw, was born to throw a football.

All you guys can do.

Yeah.

You're a writer using that number two pencil.

Yeah.

It's like the old, like, I don't come to your office and kick the dick out of your mouth.

Yeah.

Did you, so, so now this is on the message boards.

The Sark,

the Texas fans are trying to find out if he's hurt or not.

So I'm going to do a little reading, a Wednesday reading for you.

This is from Texas fan Odd Gooop.

How is your deuce face, bro?

Sark's comment about not filming reporters when they were taking a dump was really intriguing to me.

I had some pluckers yesterday, including a sixer of fire in the hole.

So I recorded myself dropping a deuce after the press conference.

I have no shoulder issues at all and lift heavy weights five to six times per week.

Was very surprised to see that my face during push phase was almost identical to the face Arch makes when throwing bad passes.

Yeah, he's taking his shit.

Like it was identical, bro.

bro.

Made me feel like a douche for saying Arch had a shoulder issue.

Three of my bros did the same and also had deuce faces just like Arch.

Anywho, do you guys know if your deuce face is similar or identical to the Arch bad pass face?

If you're not sure, then do the same test that I did.

Yeah, empirical evidence.

We got to do it.

Why do you think that's a bad comparison, Hank?

Because one thing is done privately.

He's basically getting mad at people for watching footage.

Like, he's like, you shouldn't be judging someone based off their reaction in a game.

You sound like a guy that's never taken a video of your own face while you shit.

We're going to need that video.

Yeah, no, I haven't.

Yeah, we're going to have to

please produce that video.

But it would be like saying, it would be like saying people, if people reacted to a face I made on this podcast and then me being like,

why don't you, like, why don't people take videos of you at your cubicle?

Well, you get mad.

It's a different.

This is a podcast that's filmed and put out.

Because you get mad.

I know that.

Because you get resting bitch face sometimes.

I think Arch Manning might have resting shit face.

Yeah, E.O.D.

I'm going to need it by E.O.D.

Okay.

All right.

Full video.

You shitting.

Push face.

I want to see that.

Okay.

Okay.

We'll make a judgment off that.

We're just following the press conference orders.

Yeah.

I mean, you shouldn't be making the shit face against San Jose State, though.

Yeah, they came out looking bad.

They obviously put it on him.

Also immediately after throwing the ball.

That's a fair point by Hank.

What does that have to do with anything?

I don't understand where your head's at, Hank.

You know what?

I'm going to take a video of Blake shitting, and you'll see his face.

Same thing.

Yeah.

Clemson might be bad.

I had that written down as well.

They struggle with Troy.

They were down 16-0, I believe, at one point.

Had to have a weather delay, then came back.

We might have bought into Dabo

for no reason.

There's a lot of weather this year.

There's a lot of weather.

Something's going on with the weather.

We need to figure this out.

That Navy game was delayed like 17 times.

Yeah,

something's wrong with the weather right now.

DARPA, cloud seeding.

I don't know what it is.

They're trying to take football away from you.

Something's happened.

Something's up.

Any other college football thoughts?

Illinois is good.

This weekend is going to be awesome.

Yeah.

This weekend, I cannot wait.

Yeah.

I'll be in Evanston for big noon kickoff, northwestern Oregon.

Oregon.

That's what I was at.

Oregon looks like the best team ever.

Well,

they do.

Dan Lanning, we need to just remember this.

Dan Lanning might be an all-time grudge coach because he and Mike Gundy went back and forth during the week about paying players and all this stuff.

And I like Dan Lanning's take because he was just like, Mike Gundy essentially was saying, well,

they pay all their players and they have all this money.

Dan Lanning was like, why should I apologize?

Because we pay to win.

But this is now two times that we've had direct Dan Lanning kind of being questioned and then running up the score.

Remember the Colorado game

where they just absolutely destroyed him?

They were going for two, I think, right at the beginning of the game.

They were going for fourth downs.

We got to put a reminder out there that Dan Lanning, if anyone steps to Dan Lanning, take the other side.

I agree with that.

And take Dan Lanning.

Also, weird comments by Lane Kiffen.

Weird comments by Lane after the game.

How so?

Apologizing to the gamblers.

I appreciated that.

So he called a timeout before Kentucky kicked a field goal at the end of the game to cover the spread, right?

Well, Mark Stoops was like, oh, shit, we should probably kick after the timeout.

Yeah, we should probably cover the spread.

But as SVP pointed out last night,

it wasn't like Ole Miss was covering the spread for the entire game.

No.

So it's not like he blew the spread.

No, he's apologizing for the timeout because I think Mark Stoops then realized.

I think

Lane's being too open with it right now i appreciate what lane did and said

if it doesn't if the actual game outcome is not up for grabs because that was like kentucky was never going to win that game they were down 10 with 15 seconds left i'm okay with the coach being like hey my bad guys i wish we had covered for you i don't want to hear it if it's actually like a a one-score game

I wouldn't mind it, though.

I don't want to hear it if you lose either.

No.

I just think that Lane's being, he's being very,

he's getting close to that line.

I'm personally fine with it, but I know that there's going to be people that won't be fine with it.

Do you know what made me feel better last week when Penn State let Nevada score at the end?

If James Franklin had gotten up and been like, hey, you know what?

Guys, I should have put my ones back in for that last play.

Because

the boosters of this program and the alumni

all bet Penn State every Saturday.

That's my bad.

We won by 40.

We should have won by 47.

The game was never never in doubt.

We got to start covering spreads.

I think I just missed the days when a coach would say it without saying it, and then I felt smart because I understood what the coach was saying.

Yeah.

It was like, if you know, you know.

Lane Kiven's always been a spread guy.

He's always been.

Spread him.

He's always been someone who's aware of it.

Okay.

I'm excited.

Yeah, college football is going.

It feels very wide open.

Yeah.

It feels very wide open.

Like, I don't know.

Ohio State obviously is up there.

LSU, LSU, like, LSU should,

that's the thing is, LSU, that was a huge win for LSU against Clemson week one.

Is Clemson bad?

So is LSU bad?

I mean, Clemson looked like they were good, good-ish in week one.

But that was such a bad.

You expect teams that lose week one big-time programs to just hammer the cupcakes they play the next week.

You know, like, like Alabama won by, I think they won by 70.

Texas.

Texas, like, you expect that.

And then, I don't know.

So this week we got South Florida, Miami.

Mm-hmm.

Arkansas Ole Miss.

Yep.

AM Notre Dame.

That's a must-win for Notre Dame.

Florida LSU.

Yep.

And then sneaky good one, Vandy, South Carolina.

Yeah.

And Wisconsin, Alabama.

We don't have to watch that.

I mean, you could.

You could get Kalen DeBoer fired this week.

Alabama was bad last year and they 50-pieced us.

Oh, and then Georgia, Tennessee.

Yeah.

Forget about Georgia, Tennessee.

Georgia, Tennessee.

Are you feeling good about that game, memes?

I don't know.

The defense is as elite as possible.

Mike Bobo just loves a wide receiver screen.

He's like addicted to it.

I'm so sick of wide receiver screens.

Get it out of the playbook.

Seriously.

It works like one out of every 10 times.

And it always seems like an accident.

Like, holy shit, I can't believe that first guy didn't tackle him.

Yeah.

Like something bad happened.

A good wide receiver screen is like minus two yards.

Yeah.

That's where it starts.

If they do a wide receiver screen and you lose two yards, you're like, all right, that wasn't that bad.

Gave him a different look.

Nothing good happens from wide receiver screen.

We've also been hanging out with Gruden a lot, who hates wide receiver screens, man.

Hatick as well.

More than anything, yeah.

I mean, that's two big-time football guys that I trust their opinion.

Yep.

Okay, let's do hot seat, cool throw, and then we get to our awesome interview with Joe Buck.

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All right.

Hank.

My hot dude is Ben Simmons.

Why?

What?

He got dropped by his agent.

Oh.

In a world where it seems like NBA players get, you know,

guys that don't play more than 10 minutes a game get, you know, three years, $40 million contracts.

You would think being an agent, like you'd want to be,

you would never be dropping guys.

But

I guess, according to Mark Stein, a source said that the decision occurred after the point card sent signals that he wasn't interested in whatever came from his agent's conversations with the Knicks.

So Ben Simmons just literally doesn't care even enough to take a contract.

Bad sign.

So he's just not.

He's not represented currently.

You've got to be pretty bad for your agent to fire you.

Especially in the NBA.

That's my point is like, you know, an agent's commission for, and you can get a bench player and get them $30 million.

And that's probably a nice payday for you.

Yeah.

So if you're getting dropped,

you must be bad, bad.

Or just not care at all.

It's in conjunction probably, yeah, with the Knicks turning down the Knicks.

You're saying, Yeah, he's like, Hey, the Knicks are interested, and Ben Simmons, like, I don't care.

Yeah, be like, Nah, I mean,

why not just retire?

He's how much?

Oh man, I'm gonna make it up.

I'm gonna make it, it's gonna make us so mad.

Uh, Ben Simmons has made

$200.

$240.

Oh, oh, all right, wait, hold on.

I'm looking it up, Max.

Uh, Max, give us a guess.

Might be

no, I'll say

265.

ben simmons has made 203 million dollars still crazy good for him 203 million dollars as much as kirk cousins

what has kirk cousins made i think he's up to like 260 we should just start doing this all the time just all right hold on i'm looking up kirk cousins kirk cousins has made

$411 million.

Wait, no, I don't think he's made that.

No, that's what he can make.

$321 million.

I guess he'll get cut.

$321 million.

He has on contract another

$90 million.

So that will be.

They can get out of that.

Yeah.

All right.

Good for him.

Still, $321 million.

I guess the one way that he could earn all that money if he did get traded to a team, became their starting quarterback, and then played again next season.

Yeah.

That's what I'm hoping for.

Just keep paying Kirk.

All right, good hot seat.

My cool throne is the Mountain.

Yeah.

Mountain from Game of Thrones set the world record for deadlifting.

Lifted.

What do you think it was?

1,000.

$275 million.

Oh.

What does 1,000 pounds translate to in dollars?

Your guess is what?

$1,800,

aka £1,000.

I'm going to say

1,300 pounds 1124 pounds oh so that's not even that impressive yeah I would have been impressed at 1300 pounds steroids or not

you gotta assume I mean you gotta go steroids gotta go have to you gotta assume dude this is such an insane

imagine lifting that that's a car right yeah

By the way, Vanny Woodhead number two.

Did it so easy, too?

Vanny Woodhead number two looks awesome.

We're We're going to drive to Indy, and that's about it.

But it's going to be sick when we do.

It's going to be so sick when we do, boys.

I think if the mountain was born like 1,500 years ago in Iceland, they would think that he was a god that just ruled their island.

He would have just been like their number one.

Like, they would have gone to wars and just be like, well, we got this guy.

1v1.

We're good.

We got this guy.

What a beast.

Also, the Ryder Cup is out this week.

Yeah.

Oh, Ryter Cup.

Ryter Cup.

Ryter Cup.

Yeah.

Our golf tournament.

Barcelon Sports Ryter Cup.

Excited to watch that.

Yes.

The draft match one, match two, match three and four out this week.

Okay, nice.

Love that.

There's be some real rivalry matches in that somewhere.

Yeah.

PFT.

My hot seat is U.S.

men's national team soccer.

Actually, no, I'm going to switch it up.

It's us.

We are the problem.

I got a question with this.

We are the problem because Coach Pocatino

talked to the media and to the critics.

We're playing against Japan tonight.

He said, we're the problem with U.S.

soccer, not him, not the players.

He said, you are damaging your country and damaging your players.

We need to be positive.

We need to be all together because the country deserves that we are all on one side trying to help arrive at the World Cup in the best condition and be competitive to do something that makes our fans proud.

So it's on us.

In this quote, didn't he say something about like

we qualified for the World Cup already?

We did.

By just hosting it.

By existing.

This national team in this country has qualified already for the World Cup.

No, we didn't.

So the important thing...

We didn't qualify for it.

The important thing is to apply common sense.

We just hosted it.

If people want to talk about bullshit, they can talk about bullshit, but we feel the responsibility to provide the whole group of players.

We need to give the priority for how he feels.

That's like a kid having a party and then inviting all the cool kids and being like, I'm a cool kid.

So here's where we're at.

Everyone's had my party.

Here's where we're at in terms of U.S.

men's national team Cope because I've been a part of many cycles of this.

Yeah, Hank nailed that.

It is like I'm one of the popular kids.

Oh, it's actually just that my parents let me party in the basement and everyone uses my house.

Yes.

They did not qualify.

Yes, they did not qualify.

Here's where we're at.

We're at the stage where now we're saying maybe

the coach is just like messing with the lineups and he knows that they're going to suck, but he's trying to put players in different positions to see how they handle stress.

It's not good.

No.

It's not good.

Who did we lose to?

Things are not good.

We lost to a lot of countries.

But who did we just lose to?

Than losing to every country.

Who do we just lose?

Don't win again.

It's football season, so I didn't watch.

But we're playing Japan tonight.

Must win.

Jaden Daniels, Japan?

Must win.

Jaden Daniels-son?

Yeah.

We lost South Korea 2-0.

Dude, we fucked.

Do you think that Jaden Davis is going to play for Japan in flag football in the Olympics?

He should.

That'd be fun.

You'd have to get a jersey.

The Rising Sun of Washington?

Yeah.

You'd have to do it.

I would.

Are you cool, Tron?

I haven't done.

Oh, yeah, that was my hot seat.

My other, I had two hot seats.

Oh, okay.

Jerry O'Connell on the hot seat.

Yep.

He made the news yesterday because he got his phone stolen.

Which I say to the thief, good job.

The guy used an Android.

I bet you didn't expect that when you tried to rob Jerry O'Connell.

You're like, he's rich.

He's married to Rebecca Romaine.

What is this piece of shit that I have?

Where was it stolen from?

I didn't see this.

Yoga.

His yoga class.

Hand card.

So he went to yoga and he left his bag out front.

And then he came out, realized that his phone was gone.

Don't they have lockers at those things?

Apparently not.

I think he just left it in the front.

It's not like it's a briefcase with fantasy football information.

He didn't have anything important in there.

Yeah, an apple.

Yeah.

I would love to see what type of bag it was.

Oh, what do you think it was?

Like a Lululemon.

Or it was like an NPR tote bag.

Might have just been a Whole Foods shopping shopping bag, like the reusable one.

He's like, I'll just reuse this all the time.

So, yeah, he left his bag out front.

Somebody lifted his phone.

So, we've been getting texts from Jerry.

We have no idea if it's actually Jerry or if it's the thief.

I think he sent us a hot Instagram video.

So, I think it's Jerry.

Probably or a horny thief, yeah.

He sent me a

chick that was like, it was like just a chick talking in German who just had huge tits on a tractor.

And then he followed up.

He's like,

Did you see that German chick?

I was like, Yeah, I did.

Yeah.

He said, The only real bummer is that I had a photo of Rebecca from high school in my wallet.

So a four-leaf and a four-leaf clover Jack McBrayer gave me and a $2 bill I got while shooting Stand By Me.

All right, the Stand By Me thing, that sucks.

The Rebecca thing, that's

under 18.

He's got a picture of a high schooler, high school girl in his wallet.

Yeah.

Did we win week one?

We did win week one.

All right, let's go, Jerry.

So it sounds like, because I think it was on Friday that his wallet got stolen.

This might have been the thief that managed our fantasy team this weekend to a win.

We can't even declare this to be a win by Jerry.

Do you think ⁇ so how do you get his stuff back?

I don't think he's got his phone back.

Oh.

So how is he texting us?

I don't know.

That's what I'm asking.

He went to the cops.

By the way, man card again, you saw Street Justice, Jerry.

Let's just call it real quick because that would be very funny if just a random dude picked up.

He, uh, yeah, I mean, there's a chance the person just saw

the Android.

Yeah, it was just like, I don't want to.

Threw in a trash can.

Whoops.

Didn't mean to steal this.

Hey, big cat.

Oh, you got your phone back.

Yeah, I got it back.

I got it back.

All right, okay, cool.

Hey, did you see?

I got a new, uh, I did get a new Android, though.

I mean, like, I didn't, like, but I did um I moved up uh two generations.

Oh nice.

Hey, did you see

I had the six but now I have the eight.

Did you see that uh that German chick with the with the big tits on the tractor?

Um is that uh something you sent me?

No, you sent it to me.

Uh it's a t she's Italian.

Oh shit.

You're right.

She's Italian.

All right.

Yeah, we're on air right now.

Hey, come on man.

Come on.

I didn't send any video.

I don't do that at all.

Hey, Jerry.

And by the way, I think legally in the state of Illinois, you have to say, hey, you're on the air.

Like, that's something you have to say.

So, I mean, like, what do you,

like, I don't want this on, we're going to rock down to.

Hey, Jerry.

I'm going to go up.

I want who can get us copyrighted.

Oh.

All right.

Good.

Oh, now you need to do your cool throw.

I'll just go hot double hot seat on that.

Double hot seat.

I like that.

Cool throw is going to be a plug.

Pup Punk is playing in Bloomington next Friday at Kilroy's.

Above Bloomington.

And we're doing a bunch of other shows.

I think we're playing in Iowa City at El Rey's on

that's October 24th, Baton Rouge, October 10th at Fred's again.

And then we're playing in Chicago at Reggie's on November 11th.

And New York, December 18th at The Racket.

It's going to be a good time.

I want to sing a song on the 11th.

Yeah, so on the 21st

at Reggie's?

Yeah, yeah.

What song?

I don't know.

Freeford?

No.

I was thinking maybe Third Eye Blind.

Okay.

Don't look back in anger.

Oh, you know what?

We could do

this.

Actually, be an appropriate song for today, Jumper.

Mm-hmm.

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.

You could cut ties from all the lies that you've been living in.

And

if you do not want to see Caleb again, I would understand.

I would understand.

All right, my hot seat is Mike McDaniel because now it's open season.

Rex Ryan called him McGenius.

Oh, no.

Yep.

Called him, said McGenius guy, or whatever the hell he is.

Nerd boy.

Their team has no respect for their coach.

They play like that.

They're soft every part of their football team.

It's over.

McBrainiels.

Yeah.

Nerd boy or whatever the hell he is.

I think Rex probably thinks anybody that wears glasses is a nerd, right?

100%.

Classic, yeah.

Anyone who knows how to turn on a computer.

Yeah.

Oh, a little fucking dork over here.

You press the power button.

See that over there?

That's the man Genius.

Yeah.

But that's a very bad sign for him.

Not good.

When it's open season like that, people feel comfortable calling him nerdboy and McGenius.

Also, Rex has been waiting for years to tip into McDaniels.

Oh, yeah.

Also, hot seat, Bryce Young, because that video of him watching the Jumbotron,

like the little, you know, commercial break races that they do on the Jumbotron during the game was not a good look.

No.

We might, Bryce Young might be in trouble.

He was watching the helmet race or the hide the ball in the helmet

during a timeout instead of huddling up with his team.

Did he get it right?

You'd hope.

If he got it right, I'm okay with it.

If he got it wrong, that'd be bad.

That's very embarrassing.

Yeah, yeah.

And then Michael Drone is also a plug.

Stell Blue Coffee.

We are doing Golden Mug today and tomorrow.

Winners are getting $500 gift card to game time.

So that's a pretty big gift.

Go to a game, go to a concert.

And we also are bringing back Buttercookie.

So get excited.

So we got Butter Cookie.

We got Golden Mug for two days.

Buy everything at StellBlueCoffee.com.

Save some dogs.

and get some butter cookie.

And we will maybe

think of some type of punishment I have to do during the Packers commander stream.

I don't know what I can do, but maybe like a cold tub or something or a shot collar.

Maybe you can shock me.

All right, Zach, finish us off.

I've got tasers.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

No tasers.

My

personalized axe on tasers.

But maybe tasers.

Maybe tasers.

There's always a possibility of.

Today's hot seat for me is, I know we're doing a lot of spit talk recently.

Luis Suarez,

previous spitter on the head of security,

three games suspension.

So out three games in Miami, Luis Suarez, so much spitting going on.

First guy to see some real punishment.

He's also just not good anymore.

He's just old.

He's old.

He's just friends with Messi.

Messi's doing a lot of that, just bringing the boys over.

Let's just go, let's keep playing and not against crazy competition anymore.

Let's just have some fun.

Get paid.

They basically are getting paid to play intramural soccer in Miami, which is why it's so weird that Suarez is still spitting.

Yeah.

He's like, why do you care, man?

Imagine all the times that he spits when it's not on camera.

A lot.

A lot.

And your cool throne?

My cool throne, I may regret saying this.

We did take a reserve take, or I took a reserve take on week one after the Buccaneers Falcons game.

My cool throne for today is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers because after watching Baker go over to top to Ebuca, and you know, Buck Airmen didn't get a ton of yards, but he was fighting for every yard that he got.

I keep watching clips, and I keep having this thought in the back of my head, like, we could just, we might we could just make a run.

You're gonna win Super Bowl.

I don't know about Super Bowl.

We could make a run though.

Okay.

Where does the road do?

Or maybe do it.

It could go to the Super Bowl.

It could not, but it could also go there.

Yeah.

So you might be going there.

And so yeah, we might be going there.

I am going to regret saying this, but I got to live my truth here and I think we could do it.

That

story that came out of the huddle, Mike Evans said that

Buka basically was like, hey, Baker, I'm going to run this route.

I'm going to call it a game.

Hit me.

And that happened.

Pretty cool.

Also, credit to Chris Berman for coining a mecha Pika Buka.

Ooh, Pika Buka.

It's pretty good.

That is good.

I like that confidence, Zach.

Get a little swagger going.

I know it's week one, but let's just do it.

What if we just do the thing?

Yeah, we got a little haves and have-nots in this podcast.

Split right here, right down the middle.

It's the haves and the haves-nots.

Basically,

will

that's probably will the will the Patriots, Jets, Bears' combined wins be less than the best record of the halves?

Yeah.

Of one team.

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Okay.

Patriots have a very easy schedule.

Jets have an easier back-end schedule.

Okay.

It's week one.

Yeah, all right.

It's week one.

It's week one.

Listen, memes, if we had scored 32 points,

I'd be feeling a lot better.

All right, let's get to our interview.

We got Joe Buck in studio.

Before we do that, PFT, you got a couple ads.

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And now here is our dear, dear friend, Joe Buck.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest, great friend of the show, recurring guest.

It is Joe Buck in person.

Joe, great to see you.

We love having you here.

First question, easy question.

Want to go easy first?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, let's ease into this.

Do you still hate hate SVP?

Yeah.

I mean,

detest him with everything I have.

It's so funny how, and you're referencing something that was maybe two years or three years ago.

Yeah, it was a big moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think about it.

It's so dumb because people are like, oh, they just got into it on TV.

I'm like, okay, let's say I did not like Scott Van Pelt.

Do you think I would do that on national TV?

That, I mean, well, that was a dumb question.

Yeah.

I think

it's not too much.

I would not.

Okay.

No, he was like the one guy I knew at ESPN before I came there and felt like I could joke around with.

But I don't know if you know this, but certain portions of the internet and social media don't really get jokes.

They don't get irony.

They don't get irony.

They don't get subtlety.

They don't get nuance.

They don't get

sarcasm.

No, I mean,

no, he's my guy.

Yeah, when that spat happened, when the dispute happened on live Air, I actually took your side, Joe, because as we discussed on yesterday's part of my take, there's a lot of discourse around like, oh, you didn't play the game out there.

Oh, yeah.

I read about that.

We think it's the other way around.

You've watched so much more sports than any athlete.

You've watched it, and then you've had the takes about it.

So it's like they're on your turf now.

Yeah.

I agree, and I think we should switch it with Aikman, and he should welcome us into the booth,

and I should be the one led to with my opinions.

Yeah.

Then he should take us to break.

That would actually be a funny Freaky Friday thing for you guys to do one day.

It would be.

I would be, who would be Jamie Lee Curtis, and who would be Lindsey Lowen?

Wait, what?

Oh, Freaky Friday.

I think you're probably Jamie Lee.

Yeah.

She's so.

Cannons.

Yeah.

She does.

I don't know if you know that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She does.

Oh, I'm way older than you guys.

Well aware.

Did you, uh, did you watch the Cowboy documentary?

I did.

Did you learn anything new about your broadcast partner?

It was a great documentary.

I thought it was great.

The one thing I learned that was different than I was expecting to see

was that by the end of, what was it, 95,

a lot of the players were banging the drum for Barry Switzer.

That took me by surprise.

But, you know,

I think it is exactly what was portrayed in that documentary.

It's like a running drama, soap opera that just has gone on since the beginning of time.

And we just get onto the train and get off at different stops and get back on.

I loved it.

I was proud of him.

I mean, I'm always proud of Troy, oddly, but watching him and the way he led and the way he played and his toughness.

And that's all stuff that I've seen, you know, personally in our work relationship.

And to see it during his playing days, because I obviously didn't know him then, I don't know.

I get some weird pride out of that.

Yeah, it was a great, really well-done documentary.

I don't know if you came away with this take, but I was watching it, and the whole time I was like, man, Pat Sommerall, that's when announcers were men.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Yeah,

that's kind of my biggest thing.

It's like, boy, has this shit dropped off since then.

You don't get that anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah, you don't get that.

You don't really miss that.

No, yeah.

I think I've said on this show, I took the bait to turn this into semi-serious.

I think that was a joke.

To turn this into semi-serious was when Troy and Chris Collinsworth and I took over for Pat and John.

Yeah.

Even though I'm Jack Buck's son and I started with the Cardinals when I was 21, I never really intentionally tried to sound like my dad.

Right.

But when that happened in 2002, I think, and we were doing the main football game, it was intimidating to step onto that stage with those two guys having left and having been there and together for that long.

And then the other piece of it was

I took the bait and tried to sound like Pat.

Yeah.

And sometimes it was okay.

And sometimes it came off to me flat and boring.

And I listened back to it.

And there are highlights that I'm like, man, that's really good.

And then there are highlights that I listen back and I'm like, God, I just sound like I'm not excited.

And it's,

I'm, I'm pissed at myself that I tried to sound like Pat, who for people who don't or aren't old enough, was a player, had this really big presence, grovelly, deep voice who would just go, Montana, rice,

touchdown.

And then Madden would go off and do his stuff.

He was the perfect guy and partner for John Madden because he was so over-the-top and bombastic.

And, you know, that just, that worked for Pat Summerall.

That did not work for me.

And I feel like I'm a completely different announcer now than I was back then.

Okay, so to keep it semi-serious, do you think you're still getting better?

Because, you know, I think you're in my hall of fame of announcers.

I think, you know, when I think big game, your name comes up.

And I mean that genuinely.

Like you have the big game voice.

But do you think like even three years ago you're better than that?

Are you still kind of?

I do, but I'm the worst person to ask.

But I feel like

I'm more comfortable kind of doing my thing.

Yeah.

And maybe some of that is still remnants prior to that shift.

I don't know when that shift happened.

Maybe after I had my vocal cord thing

and I came back and I was like, oh, I can make a loud sound again.

So I'm going to make a loud sound.

And I'm going to do it differently in baseball and football.

You know, I tried to do it in golf.

That was bad, which you told me, fuck of you, multiple times.

But yeah, I did.

did.

It was the voice that was the problem.

Yeah, yeah.

Fuck off.

So, yeah,

I do think I'm getting better.

Yeah, I do.

And maybe I'm wrong, but at least I feel that way.

I agree with you.

I enjoy listening to your calls.

Do you go back?

You said that you listened to some of your old calls, like when you made the decision, okay, I'm not sounding like me.

I need to start sounding, like, go back to who you are.

Do you listen after every week to your calls?

You know, it's a really good question because it is a good question.

Mark that one down.

Thank you, Cooper.

Got it.

Yeah, good job.

I know you've prepped a lot for this interview.

No, it's like we don't even need to have you answer the question.

Yeah.

We just want to ask you the questions and then you compliment it.

We can move on.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

No, no, no.

Answer that.

I do want to know.

Do you listen?

How often do you listen?

You know what's bad is if, and I tell young broadcasters this all the time, it's not fair to do a game and then turn right around

and listen to it all.

I do sometimes if it's on NFL network and I'm like, oh, I wonder how I sounded last night or how this call went.

But it's not a realistic way to watch because I can still remember what I was thinking about in the moment and I was frustrated that I didn't get to whatever story or I didn't, you know, you're making choices all the time.

So if you give it a little bit of time and you kind of forget about the game or the actual moments and the words, you can listen to it on a more realistic basis like you would at home making fun of my gigantic forehead.

And it's a better representation of how you would sound to a person sitting on a couch than you're just too hard on yourself.

I'm too hard on myself to go back five minutes after and just dissect it.

That's just stupid.

Yeah.

Did you grade yourself like on last season?

How did that rank amongst all the all, you know, the Joe time or the Joe Buck all-time seasons?

Yeah, I think last year was good.

I think our three years, hard to believe we're in our fourth year now at ESPN, I think they've progressively gotten better.

I think,

you know, there's a lot of factors involved, but I think it took a minute for us to be like, okay, we're not at Fox anymore.

We're at ESPN.

And I think that was really good for us.

And I'm speaking for Troy here, but he and I have talked about it.

I think change is good.

I think it made, like I probably told you guys this before, but David Hill, who basically started Fox Sports,

When I talked to him and that was all going on, and I said to him, you know, what do you think about me potentially going to ESPN?

I thought he would go, Are you crazy?

You've been at Fox for 28 years.

You know, you're doing the World Series.

You're doing that.

You're doing the NFL games.

You're doing whatever they want you to do.

You've got a history there.

He said, go.

It's going to be the best thing for you because it's going to give you, you know, new jitters.

It's going to make you work with new people that might open your eyes up to something that you haven't done before.

And

it was great advice.

And I'm glad I did it because I think, like what you said, I do think it's tweaked me a little bit to make me better than I was, let's say, six years ago.

What a random number to pick.

Yeah.

Just because we are the biggest Joe Buck fans, and you know we defend you everywhere.

We defend you in private.

You probably defend me around this compound.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So just so we have the company line set.

Yeah.

When you said the vocal cord thing, so we're going with that, not the hair plug addiction.

Well, I mean, one led to the other.

Right, but so we got to say when people

happened, he had a vocal cord thing, not he had an addiction to hair plugs.

He was addicted to hair plugs.

Yeah, and that was kind of the takeaway when I wrote my book, like this addiction.

Like, I'm like, oh, my God.

Yeah.

I need hair plugs.

You went to rehab for me.

You got to get it.

I went to rehab.

Like, I need that pain.

I need, I need to know I'm alive.

I need hair plugs.

Hit me.

I need a hit.

I need a hit.

Rip some hair out of the back of my head and put it in the front.

I need it.

It was, it's that I had it a lot because I have a gigantic head and I have baby, fine, thin hair.

Beautiful hair.

Beautiful hair.

Beautiful.

It's beautiful, really.

Like you'd find on a baby's bottom.

It's beautiful.

That said, it took me a lot to cover what I could cover with my head.

And I didn't know that at the time when I wrote my book, and that's really how it starts and ends, that I also color my hair, which was like, that's the last line of my book.

I know you guys both read it multiple times.

And it's not available anywhere, so I'm not plugging it.

Yeah.

Sold out.

Uh-huh.

It's sold out everywhere.

I bought every copy.

Yeah, it's gone.

It's just evaporated.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's one of the other.

It doesn't exist anymore.

It's either sold out or nobody bothers to print it any longer.

But when that was all going on, I didn't realize that my name was like mud in the hair plug industry because they're like, you're giving a terrible name to people to get hair transplants because you're saying you lost your voice.

It could have been any procedure.

It was that I was intubated.

If I got a new knee or if somebody took my spleen out, I would have been facing potentially the same danger of the cuff in my throat hurting my nerve.

That's what happened.

But I was just over honest, if that's a phrase and it isn't, by saying that's what I was doing when this all happened.

So they knocked you out?

You were out cold.

Well, the first, I think I got eight in St.

Louis.

Oh, that's an addiction.

Yeah.

You had eight different procedures?

Eight different ones.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you've got a real you had a problem.

I know.

Which one did you know you had a problem?

Was it four or five?

Yeah, it was like four.

And I was like, I was at the door the next day.

I'm like, I know my hair, my head is chewed up and it's all blood, but I want more.

I need more.

I need more.

Doctor, like, I think you've had enough.

Yeah.

So then I had to find a new doctor.

Yeah.

I had to find other people.

Yeah.

I doctor shopped.

There should be a website for that.

Yeah.

But yeah, so I don't even know what the hell we're talking about.

But I,

whatever.

That's what I was doing when I voice one out.

I love that you lost like the hair plug community.

There's like a guy sitting watching Monday night football.

He's like, fuck this Joe Buck guy.

He made it bad for me.

Well, now we're good.

But now we're good.

Okay, we're going to have a different style procedure

out in L.A.

where they do this machine and they take it out of the sides of your head.

There's barely any pain.

I did like basically an infomercial with my head all chewed up.

I put it online.

Wait, so are you done?

Can you say right now you're never going to get another?

I can say with 100% certainty

that I might do it again.

No, I'm done.

I'm done.

Joe, I had him done last year.

And I can quit anytime.

No, you did.

I did back.

I did.

Yeah.

I got the top.

Oh, well, then, why are you giving me shit?

I'm just saying, because as a member of the hair plug community, you did us a disservice.

Now you're taking up the banner.

I'm taking up the banner.

I can recreationally go out and have a good time and get a hair plug transplant and then come back the next day, feel fine, and not have an urge to go back to the clinic like you.

Yeah.

Now I tell people that they look at me like I'm a crackhead.

Right.

No, I'm sorry.

And I, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize to you and all of the hair transplant surgery getters that are in your audience.

I do want to know about the one in L.A., though.

If I need sprucing.

Yeah, I got a guy.

Okay.

I got a guy.

he does it in the back of a van while you're moving.

I'm never going to say it.

I'm never going to count myself out of having a second one, but I can stop whenever I want.

But did you get the kind where they, this is really not fascinating conversation, but did you get the kind where they did the strip out of the back, or did they like do the

non-strip procedure?

It was the F-U-E, whatever that one is.

Yeah, that's what I'm, that's the new stuff.

That's like gold.

Yeah, it's gold.

Yeah.

It's golden.

The old time was shoot out the back of your head, take like a strip of scalp,

and then pull them out and replace them.

That that sucked.

Yeah, so so that was the question.

So the first six times I did it where I was under local anesthetic.

The last two times I did it, the doctor's like, you know, you can get knocked out for this.

It seems like you really don't like the pain.

I'm like, you think?

I don't like it.

Who does like the pain?

It sucks.

And he goes, well, for an extra $3,000, we can knock you out.

I'm like, how about $10,000?

Knock me out.

I'm out.

So that's when it happened.

So it was the intubation that was the problem.

It was the intubation.

It had nothing to do with hair.

Okay.

Monday football.

I'm glad we cleared that.

Yeah.

I say this is more Monday night football.

Yeah, yeah.

We're never going to bring this up ever again.

Yeah, never.

Ever.

Yeah.

It's fine.

All right.

So you're starting, you're here in Chicago, obviously, Monday Night Football.

We're going to run this on Wednesday.

We don't know what's going to happen.

The schedule for Monday Night Football, it's gotten better.

You must be excited because there's just some really good games you have.

I have a question, though.

On week three, or no, week two, there's two Monday Night Football games.

Why don't you call both?

yeah I've we've thought about that uh it's just hard to call two games at the same time

I've done two games and young hungry Joe Buck would do it that's right I'd take a trolley car to go do it cable car in San Francisco which I did I went from a football game to a baseball game but yeah at the same time it's a little it's a little too much okay all right that's fine that's fine what what uh is your favorite stadium setup to go to that maybe people don't think you know because obviously there's Monday Football has some big-time teams, stadiums, but is there one stadium you're like, I actually really like this place.

People don't realize it's a great setup.

The stadiums are all so good now.

That used to be like the one in my hometown, St.

Louis, when the Rams were there,

it's like, oh, we forgot a broadcast booth.

So we were down in the seats.

They took the four, you know, whatever, four sections or two sections and turned it into a makeshift broadcast booth where you were running up the steps into the concourse to go to the bathroom during commercials.

Like that, that stuff doesn't fly anymore

in the NFL.

So they're all good.

There's really, if, if you give me a stadium and the bathroom is in the booth, I'm good.

I'm at the 50.

What about sight lines?

Is there one that's like you're two?

This one is really weird.

Yeah.

Chicago.

It's really low.

Yeah.

For some things, it's really good because you can actually see,

I can see numbers kind of coming at me, but it's so low and therefore it's flat, like the far sideline and the front corners of the end zone and stuff.

I have no idea.

I don't know if the guy's in.

I don't know if he's not.

My eyes have to go from watching it live on the field to the monitor, or I have no chance.

It's not high enough.

Yeah.

How hard is week one as an announcer when you've got guys that are new on the team that you haven't seen that jersey before?

Is that like the danger zone?

A little bit.

I mean, yeah, I think you get into, we all watch watch so much football that by the time I do

Jacksonville against the Chiefs later in the year, I'm not that deep into the year.

I will have watched enough Jacksonville to know the skill guys and the, who's catching passes and who, but yeah, I mean, it's, it's a little bit different

for this game, although

this story tonight is about the two quarterbacks.

Yeah.

And it's, it doesn't really expand much.

You want to talk about the interior of the offensive line?

I mean, it's not that exciting.

It's about J.J.

McCarthy, and it's about Caleb, and, you know, how much has Caleb progressed with Ben Johnson and who is, and how good is J.J.

McCarthy?

The only time I saw him in college, I'm not a huge college football guy, was in the national championship game, and I was blown away.

And then Harbaugh came out and basically said,

I'd love to coach this guy in the NFL.

And we met him,

I don't know, three days ago, four days ago.

Could not be a more impressive 22-year-old.

And I say that, having 29 and 26-year-olds myself, that

you like him and you want to see him do well, but that team is loaded.

Yeah.

And it comes down to one guy.

They got the coach.

They got the line.

They got Justin Jefferson and Addison and a good defense.

That it comes down to one guy.

And that to me is fascinating.

Yeah.

I have a favor to ask you, Joe, on behalf of my good good friend Big Cat here, a Bears fan, if the Vikings kicker, who's the Vikings kicker, by the way?

Will Rikard.

Will Reichard,

if he's perfect through three quarters,

in the fourth quarter, if he goes out there and let's say it's like a one-score game, can you say, and he has not missed tonight, right before he kicks?

You want an announcer's jinx.

He's calling for an announcer's jinx.

That is brilliant because it's one-up the whole, say Yabo,

say, you know, whatever.

Playoff Lenny, Brian, play off Lenny.

Playoff Lenny.

Yeah.

Fuck you for that, too.

No, playoff Lenny was great.

Playoff Lenny was our favorite.

You took offense, and we loved it.

Playoff Lenny.

That's his name.

Guy shows up in the playoffs.

He was great in the playoffs.

But I'm not asking you to

fix the update.

What was that?

Fournette?

Yeah, Lenny Fournette.

Because I think it was like this.

He hadn't, maybe it had been to one playoff game with the Jags.

Yeah, but he hadn't had that great of a regular season, I think, but it was time for playoff Lenny.

And then playoff Lenny showed up.

Yeah, there he was.

And it's great.

There he was.

But yeah, just just say, like, he hasn't.

I'm not asking you to lie.

Well, that's the thing.

I mean, can we all just grow up on that whole thing?

No, absolutely not.

You guys are.

Oh, I can't.

You can't.

It is part of

it.

I control it.

Yeah.

So I'm

like, I'm not sure.

I'm not sure if you guys are watching this, and they're like, oh, that had nothing to do with him missing.

So I'm doing a baseball game.

Not anymore.

God doesn't like you doing baseball games.

They rain the whole thing.

Clearly out.

That's true.

And somebody tunes in the game.

And I'm not allowed to say, hey,

you know, whoever Clayton Kershaw is pitching a no-hitter.

Yeah.

That is the dumbest thing of all time.

But you have to talk around it like Al Michaels talking around a bet.

You have to go, and so far, Clayton Kershaw, well, there've been no hits.

Yeah.

Like, shut up.

No.

No, we're right on this.

Yeah.

You jinx it.

Stupid.

Do you, do you, guys who change numbers?

Because I feel like numbers are.

Oh, my God.

It's so bad.

It's so bad.

So, like, Luther Burden tonight, do you know that he's changed his number 10 three times before he played at snap?

It's if there's one, I am not smart, but the one thing I can do is I can go back for the teams that I really followed, and I can oddly

come up with numbers with kind of random people.

Yeah.

Piquet, do you want to hit the lotto machine?

Yeah.

And whatever number comes up, tell us a guy that has this number.

Okay.

We're going to test you.

It's numbers one through a hundred.

All right, yeah, let's do this.

Also, if you want want to pick a number, just if you want to randomly guess what number it's going to be, that's fine.

But here's my point.

Well, that's subtle.

Yeah.

35.

35.

Yeah.

Well, for me, that would be Matt Morris of your St.

Louis Cardinals.

Okay.

So, question.

But

it messes me up because I get used to seeing a number.

I equate a lot of things with a player.

Yeah.

The way they run,

the way a uniform fits, the number,

and that gives me a clue as to who the hell that is running down the sideline with the ball.

And when they change numbers, it just, it's like a short circuit in my mind.

Is it screwed up now?

Because we hate that they have let everyone wear every number, like wide receivers wearing numbers in the 20s and all that stuff.

Does that actually make your job harder?

I thought it would, but it's some of these numbers are so unique now.

Yeah.

That, you know, like Micah Parsons being number one for Green Bay,

I'll be able to see him easier now because it's so weird to me that

defensive and outside linebackers wearing number one that I'll see it a lot better than I otherwise would.

If he's

a punch, is it 52?

Is it 53?

Yeah.

Or then you go to like the Tampa Bay Bucks who had jerseys that the numbers were like slanted and small, thin, and it's like you're not giving me a chance.

Or Detroit was, you know, is that an eight?

Is that a six?

Is that it's, and you almost have to wait because you don't want to go crazy and just start saying, touchdown, you know, whoever it is, Jameson Williams.

Oh, no, that's, you know, Josh Reynolds.

People would go after you.

Yeah, they would.

They go after you for everything.

Yeah, they do.

What jerseys are the easiest to see?

Steelers?

Steelers are pretty good.

They're pretty defined.

It's really just the two.

It's Tampa Bay that

I come up with.

It's hard to just differentiate eights and sixes.

They had the alarm clock ones for a little bit that were like almost

like a dark.

They were obviously they looked digital.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's really strange.

Yeah, I don't.

And Brady was there then.

I don't know what they are now.

We've got them next week.

They've gone from, they used to be the easiest

when they were more red, when they were orange, and it was kind of blended in a little bit,

that was harder for me to see too.

And that stadium, the old that, you know, Berman used to call the sombrero,

you were like hanging off the clouds calling games there, and you're looking at tops of helmets running around, and it's

scary when you end up doing the game off TV.

Yeah.

So when it comes time to leave the stadium, I know tonight at Soldier Field, not a very easy place to get out of after the game.

So do you have like a secret tunnel?

Do you have a...

I do, yeah.

You do?

That's that you're allowed to do?

I've spent the better part of the last two weeks digging it.

What's the longest you've ever had to wait after a game to get out?

Uh

probably an hour.

Yeah.

Not great.

It's not great.

I they're usually pretty good with helping get people out from the bowels of the stadium by police escort.

Sometimes.

Nice.

Sometimes, not all the time.

I would abuse that so hard.

Do you go right?

That's it.

They dump us like at the highway.

Yeah.

Oh, do you go right home?

Do you fly right home?

I'm not flying right home tonight.

Okay.

No.

I just realized there's a lot of double headers in the Monday Night Football schedule this year.

Yeah, Derek's here.

Was it?

What's going on with that?

Four.

There's four.

Who's doing the other games?

Chris Fowler.

Okay.

Herb Street?

No.

Orlofsky?

Orlofsky?

Lewis Riddick.

Okay.

Are the guys calling the game?

Are you, do you, when there's a double header,

do you get upset if the other game is really awesome?

No.

I would.

No.

Why?

Because I'd be like, what the fuck?

I'm

my game.

I am.

ESPN.

Okay.

Yeah.

You go, ESPN.

Joe's winking at us right now.

No,

I really do believe that that whole rising tide lifts all ships.

I hope that all of our games are great, and I root for those guys.

I don't feel any competition with them.

Do you guys, before a game, have a plan if the game is a blowout?

Like, do you like, hey, this is what we're going to hit?

No, we, I mean, Troy, if you saw his spotting boards you you would be

you'd be blown away by the amount of writing that's on it same with me his is just neater mine is just messy you write it yourself oh yeah i have to do all that stuff myself i have to plug all the names numbers height weight colleges, years in the NFL, how they were drafted, how they were acquired.

I have to do all that myself.

Some people farm it out, but the only way I'm going to learn it is if I actually do it.

If I mess it up, like get the U.S.

Open champion's girlfriend's name wrong,

I want it to be my mistake.

I don't want it to be, hey, I just gave some kid 300 bucks to do all my homework for me.

No, so

that's kind of where you go, oh, okay, well, I can get into this, I can get into that, I can get into this.

My hope is that I've done all of that crap for nothing.

It's all old.

It's all history.

There's nothing new that's on my board.

The only new thing that I'm going to see is when they kick off at 7:15 tonight here in Chicago.

And if you can keep your eyes on the game and not in your notes, because the game is so bad, we did that Super Bowl that was Denver, Seattle.

Oh, man.

And you're like, oh, my God, there's 100 million people on the other end of this thing that I'm talking into right now.

And this game is awful.

Yeah.

And then, you know, we're talking, you know, first snap went over the head of Peyton Manning.

Troy and I were talking at halftime.

I don't even know who was doing the halftime show.

And we're like, oh my God.

And then Troy goes, okay, but it's Peyton Manning.

If there's anybody that's going to bring him back, it's Peyton Manning.

And then they kick off to start the second half, and Percy Harvin runs it back for the touchdown.

It's like, we're like throwing our pens.

And that's one, if I go back and I listen to the game, the broadcast, I must have said how much time was left in the third quarter 15 times.

And with that, there's 7, 12 left in quarter number three.

It's just,

it cannot end fast enough.

Yeah.

Picket and I both had the Broncos in that game.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So my wife,

my wife, my wife was.

That was good.

I liked that.

Yeah, that was good.

You ever had a good time?

Was a Broncos cheerleader.

Second down.

That'd be awesome.

Handoff.

So my wife, you know, was bleeds, Bronco, whatever they are, orange and blue.

Orange, yeah.

And we did our production meetings with

Denver first and then Seattle.

So, on let's say Wednesday, we met with Denver.

And it was great.

We were on their team bus doing our, in the back of the bus, talking to Peyton Manning, and then somebody else would come back there, and it was great.

Then the next day, we go, I think the Giants' facility is where Seattle was, and we met with the Legion of Boom all as one group.

And

I mean, Earl Thomas and Cam Chancellor.

And I Trent, I walked out of that production meeting, and it was like, Denver's got no chance.

They looked like they were ready to run through a wall on Thursday.

Yeah.

And I went back to the hotel, and Michelle's like, well, how was it?

I said, I don't think you're going to like this game.

And her brother flew in and she had family.

And that was the game in New York.

And it was just,

that was one that I could see coming.

Yeah.

Do you ever have any intrusive thoughts when you're in the booth?

Ooh, good question.

Like, what if I just said fuck?

Yeah.

No, but I will now.

All right, good.

Nice.

If there was a, like, you know how they do the Nickelodeon kids broadcast?

If there was like an adult, if they didn't have any rules on what you could say.

Oh, I would have the greatest night of my life.

They should do that.

I would like, I would like, yeah, but then it's, then it's, it doesn't happen.

I'm done.

If I, if I say what really goes through my mind, it'd be a great last night on TV.

When I'm done, I will announce it here.

Oh,

I will then

go into the booth, lock it,

and I will have the greatest night of my life.

How many years you got left?

Have you thought about it?

I hope you never retire.

No, I mean that.

It would be

a huge hole in the football.

Announcing is

hard, and at your level, is very hard, and we'd lose a big game voice, and that would suck.

Well, thank you if you mean it.

I do.

But thank you.

No, I'm just kidding.

I mean it.

I not.

That was a big thing when I was young.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

10 years, 12 years, 15 years.

I don't know.

But

I'm not going to do the, you know, Dan Patrick comes out.

Man makes plans and God laughs.

Or I'm not.

I have no idea.

I could get hit by a bus getting out of here, even though our driver.

Yeah, your driver.

You're basically the president of the United States States because you're driving.

They did a dry run.

They did a dry run at 8.30 in the morning, came to the office, and made sure that everything was...

I think they swept it.

There must be a good breakfast place near here.

They're actually, yes, right on the corner.

Oh, well, that's exactly what happened.

Just watch out the parking lot.

Right.

Although it is a dangerous parking lot for drivers.

Some people have hit the pole there.

It's a little tight.

Yeah, it is.

You've got a lot of room here.

You got, like, I saw, I counted at least...

4,000 employees here.

Yeah, there's every one of them looks the same.

And they're not doing anything.

They're not doing anything.

Anything.

They're just walking around like, huh?

You would think that Joe Buck walks in and maybe try to look a little busy, but we got guys who probably.

It should be like the Von Trapp family.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, hello, hello, sir.

They're like, it's the opposite.

Hey, what's up?

They're like, oh,

you want some ice cream?

We got the stream going.

You want some ice cream?

We bet on this baseball game.

You want to sit down?

Yeah.

I actually prefer that.

Yeah.

Yeah, I see why you guys like this so much.

I'd be glad that your ego has dragged everybody to Chicago.

Listen, you get a full basketball court, golf simulation.

That's what you're still selling them on that?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, hey, it's a

ice cream.

Yeah, but I'm uprooting my family.

No, you get ice cream.

The big sell is the not working part.

We got a bunch of Kawhi letters around here.

No show to you.

I'm seven-year-old twins.

I'm aiming them right for your front door.

Oh, I can't wait till you're.

Oh, man.

I can't.

If we're still doing this in like 12, 13 years, and I get a text from Joe Buck being like, hey, my son really wants to intern over the summer.

Oh, Oh, man, would that be great?

Dude, that would be great.

Any of your kids have good voices?

Well, my oldest daughter sings.

She's got a really nice voice.

Okay.

The two young ones, that's

odd to.

Too high-pitched?

Yeah, I mean,

give them till they're 13.

Maybe when things happen, they'll, you know, when I started when I was 19 with the car, I'd fill in with the Cardinals.

I was 19, which

back then somehow oddly felt normal.

And now that I've had kids, I'm like,

what was going on?

Like, why was I doing games then?

Or 21?

And I sound like this.

Here's a ground ball to the short.

Ozzy picks it up to his right, throws to first, two out.

And I was doing a game.

My dad let me sit down.

Daddy let me sit down for an extra inning game.

And Ray Lankford bowled over Darren Dalton for a win at home over the Phillies.

And my voice, I sounded like Peter Brady.

It was the most embarrassing.

It was like the curtain came down.

The whole time I was trying to sound like I was 30 and I was 21,

and my voice just broke, and I sounded like I was two.

It was awful.

Did you have a different voice for baseball as opposed to one for football?

No, I think the main thing is it's a different

like rhythm.

So

maybe by the end of the game, you kind of like tonight, we did a preseason game, the Commanders preseason game,

and

both Troy and I were walking up to the booth.

Like, I don't know that I remember how to do this.

Like, it's been so long since I've done anything.

Like, when they kick it off, is it still going to work?

Like, what do I say?

And

it takes a little bit of time to get into that rhythm of calling football.

It's like, and that's why it's good.

And people are like, well, you know, you moved on from Fox, but I I know when he's going to jump in, he knows when I'm done, I know when he's going to go, and getting into that rhythm is just that that's kind of what makes it good.

Yeah, have you thought about going back to DC?

Because I know that it's going to be the Commanders and the Bears, the part of my take bowl.

And I told Joe before we sat down that we're going to get a tattoo based on the outcome of this game.

Whoever wins, or whoever loses, has to get that tattoo.

Have you thought about running it back with Josh Harris and doing the handshake?

Oh, he's come into the booth the last that happened, I think, three seasons ago.

He's come in the last two preseasons and we make like a stupid elongated handshake as a joke.

Oh, I like that.

Yeah, and he's great.

And I last year, his social media team or somebody was following him around.

And so I did it.

Like we reenacted it.

It was so weird.

And I felt so bad because when I look at the replay of it, nobody has any idea, by the way, what we're talking about.

But we're doing a preseason.

No, no, we know.

And I'm talking with my hands,

and he's nervous as the new owner of the Commanders, and I have my hand over in front of him, and he just automatically shook it.

You baited him.

I baited him.

Yeah.

So

I'm saying it was my fault.

It was not his fault.

I was stupidly talking like, I don't know.

Yeah, when you're watching a game, can you turn off your announcer's brain?

Are you thinking like, oh, I would have said this differently?

Not that anyone's doing their job poorly, but are you thinking that while you're watching?

Like, I, like, when I'm watching porn, I'm like, oh, I would have already come.

What a comparison.

Well, you know, like, you know, you're just watching something, you're just kind of like ahead in intrusive, you know, or inner dialogue.

Yeah, I'm going to think about that next time I'm watching Mike Tarico on a Sunday night.

I,

yeah, I have a tough time turning that off.

Yeah.

You know, and then I am listening to the worst thing

is when you find a verbal crutch that I, I don't know if you guys go back.

I'm guessing you guys do so much content here.

You don't go back and listen to anything.

No, but I have verbal crutches that I try to.

But I go back and when I do watch stuff, that's what I'm watching for.

Like if I go, the pass is caught at the 15.

That makes my, I am so mad at myself because I listen and I'll go through

different seasons and I'm like, my God, the whole year.

I'm like, the pass is caught.

And I'm trying like hell to break that habit.

And when I hear other announcers with verbal crutches that they can't stop using, you notice that it drives me up a wall.

So in this case, it's you holding out the word until you find out what happened.

It's me stalling.

Yeah.

Or coming up with the guy's name.

Yeah.

Or in the case of Tampa Bay or Detroit, figuring out who that is.

It's easier when you've got Mike Evans, who's nine feet tall, and he wears number 13 in the front corner of the end zone and a jump ball.

I can say, Evans in the end zone.

I don't have to wait because I know that's Mike Evans.

So that's, yeah, that's kind of exactly what we were talking about before.

Yeah, for what it's worth, I thought that when you narrated our dingers-only baseball challenge, you did a great job.

You did a great job.

Do you remember that?

I remember doing it.

Do you have any idea what it was?

Or did you just read the words?

I read the words.

No, I think you provided me with video.

Yeah, we're gonna, you're gonna have to do it again.

Oh, oh, am I?

Oh,

yeah.

We also need you to write a chapter in our book.

Oh, yeah, we should talk about that.

You are.

The last forward I wrote was for Artie Lang.

No, no, no.

I think you got confused.

You scare you.

I think you got confused there.

We didn't ask for a forward.

We need a full chapter.

Oh, a full chapter.

Yes.

Okay.

No, no, we're not asking for like, you know, is this like the pardon my take?

Yeah, we're doing

three of.

Yeah, we're about to do the 10-year anniversary.

So, and you are a very big big part of this show.

I find that that is funny.

And I get comments.

I know I say this every time I'm on, but somebody said it to me the other day.

I said, I'm going to be on, well, I said Wednesday because I play the game.

We're doing it on a Monday.

We're airing it on a Wednesday.

But somebody said that to me on Friday.

I don't know where the hell I was.

And it just, I random people will come up and say, I love Jan.

Love Jan.

Pardon my take.

I love it.

And so, yeah, little did I know.

I thought I was fired the first time I came on here.

Yeah.

Because you were giving me shit and I was saying stuff back

and I hung up the phone or got off the Zoom call or whatever it was before Zoom.

And I said to Jonathan Butnik, I'm like, I think I just lost my job.

Like you, when we actually look at it, you coming on our show and then coming back on our show, which I think that's the other part of it, where it's like they kind of

go home and

crying.

Yeah, they busted balls and then they became friends.

They didn't, it wasn't like a one-time, because you were promoting your book.

And

that was like a big moment for us.

I think it was a big breakthrough.

Yeah, I mean, so we owe you a lot, and how we're going to repay you is have you write a chapter in our book.

What a gift.

Thank you so much.

Homework.

Yeah, good.

If you want to have so much free time, we could collab on a chapter about hair plugs.

Let's do it.

I did the front.

I did the front.

You did the back.

One regular hair.

It's perfect.

But yeah, no, we do appreciate you.

We say it every time, but it is, it's crazy to look at it and do this because, you know, we've been working, working working and you get to 10 years and then we look back like damn we've done some pretty cool stuff and we're you have and now you're in and now you're are you in bed with fox too or yes very much yes me and cletus we share a twin size

you've been out to those studios do they still have cletus in the front lobby there so i so i i do uh thursday mornings big cat does tuesday mornings on festive wake-up parcel and uh i asked if cletus could come to the studio they sent me a collectible figurine i think it's back there somewhere oh yeah there's Cletus.

There's Cletus.

There's Cletus.

And then they said that they're going to work on getting Cletus out for an episode.

I never got one of those.

We got to have Cletus do the car washer where he goes on like every show.

That thing is scary.

Yeah.

Used to come to the seminars we had and would walk around.

I didn't know there was somebody in there or if it was remote controlled or, but it looked like it could rip your throat out.

How big is it?

Gigant.

It's like nine feet tall.

You were scared of the robot?

I was scared of the robot.

Yes.

Yes, I was.

Oh, there's Cletus.

Look at it.

Yeah, Cletus is awesome.

That's our coworker right there.

Yeah,

it's disconcerting to be next to something that mechanical.

Yeah.

But no, we've loved it so far.

You're a colleague now?

How's that make you feel?

Probably pretty bad.

I'm not there anymore.

You're a team.

If it was baseball.

But you're not at Fox anymore?

No, did you guys get that?

No, we didn't know that.

Yeah.

So you're not even allowed to do baseball on Fox.

No, I'm not allowed to do anything on Fox.

I don't even, I had Fox taken off my television in St.

Louis.

Well, you're doing this show.

We're gonna re-air it on Fox.

Oh, no,

you better not.

You better not.

Derek Volner will come after you.

We're gonna use all the words you've said in this.

Yeah, that will be actually the game of the week next Sunday.

Oh, it's you calling that game?

Just piecing, pasting words together.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

When we do the dingers only, we'll put the little Fox sports logo.

You better, if you do it, we're done.

That's the only thing.

That's the only thing that can get me to not ever come back to this little frat house.

What's What's the one?

We'll wrap up in a second because you've got to go call the game.

Big fancy job.

What's the one game that you wish you could have called?

Buffalo, Baltimore last night.

That was pretty sick.

God,

I don't know.

Maybe the 1980 U.S.

Olympic hockey team.

Yeah.

That's right there.

Al did pretty well with that.

He did do pretty well.

The Hail Mary last year.

Yeah, that was pretty good.

That was just crazy.

I think it's any one of those that's just,

my favorite is the Minneapolis Miracle in the NFL, my time.

This is my 32nd year doing NFL.

And if there's one that

stands above the others, it's the Diggs touchdown along the sideline because it was

that was one where I've got my mind made up that he's going to catch it if he catches it and hop out of bounds to try a game-winning field goal.

He turns around.

It was brilliant awareness because I think every receiver is taught to catch it and get out of bounds to give your kicker a chance.

And he turned around, nobody's there, and he took it in for the touchdown.

And that place was going to come down.

Yeah.

It was amazing.

Yeah.

When you don't have the Super Bowl, do you miss having the Super Bowl?

No.

Are you like, this is awesome?

I get to watch.

Well, when we were doing it on a regular basis, we were doing it every three years.

And it felt like every three years was about the right pace to that because it is big.

I can't wait to do it next year.

We're doing it next year at ABC ESPN.

And where is that Super Bowl?

L.A.

Okay.

Which it's just, it's going to be the biggest day in ESPN history, I think, you know, with what's on the line and to get back into that rotation for Troy and me.

It's just, there's no day like it.

And in broadcasting, to talk into a microphone and know that there's that many people on the other end,

94% of which are not listening to one word you're saying.

They want to watch the commercials and see if their bet came worked, but

it's really cool.

Does time crawl for you on Super Bowl Sunday when you're calling it?

Yeah, I think that's kind of the small thing about being out in L.A.

and being on Pacific time because it comes up a little quicker.

You're kicking off at what would be 3.25 instead of 5.25 or 6.25.

So yeah, it's a little easier to get to game time, which is awesome.

So who's your prediction for Super Bowl 2027 in L.A.?

You have the script, right?

Yeah, I have the script.

It'll be Detroit against Buffalo.

Okay.

Detroit against Buffalo.

Oh, that would be a great Super Bowl.

Rematch?

From this year?

Yeah.

No.

Okay.

Damn.

Who's in it this year?

I can't say.

Come on.

It's not our Super Bowl.

That's true.

You'll have to.

But you don't want anyone to, you don't want to do promo for the Super Bowl.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I I mean, no one.

You might accidentally end up watching the Super Bowl.

Right, yeah.

Then they would know about it.

You can spoil it.

Then fewer people will watch.

Yeah, that's true.

But I think I'm going to err on the side of not telling people that there's going to be a Super Bowl this year.

All right.

Just so they don't happen to just flip the channel and, oh, my God, the Super Bowl is on.

You know what?

We might team up with you in solidarity with Joe Buck.

We're not going to announce the Super Bowl.

Are your commanders good enough to go?

I'll tell you after Thursday night.

We had a debate about this.

Because I don't think that they are.

I don't think they're a good enough team.

But if they beat the Packers, that will be enough to convince me that they are good.

Yeah, I agree with that.

Thank you.

Thank you, Joe.

These guys tried to gaslight me.

No, I wasn't thinking that was a single team.

No, I would argue that.

I said that they went to the NFC Championship game last year.

Going into the season, they got better.

You should be thinking Super Bowl if you're a Commanders fan.

That's not an unrealistic thought to have.

Yeah.

And you can just think about it.

If there's one thing

that you think would hold them back.

Defense.

Like,

I thought they should have been in on the Parsons thing.

That would have been great, but I don't think Jerry was going to trade him in the division because the or Hendrickson.

Yeah, Hendrickson would have been nice.

The Eagles tried to get Parsons too.

Yeah, they gave him the biggest offer.

And then Jerry kind of stiff-armed him and said, No, we don't want to trade him to the NFCE.

So I don't think it was ever realistic.

And then with the cap stuff, I don't know how any of the cap stuff works, but I think that was too rich.

for us.

I don't think we could afford it.

Hendrickson would have been a nice ad.

Hendrickson would have been a great ad if we could have gotten him.

But the defense is a little bit old, and

I'm not sold that they're going to be like a top 10 defense.

If they're like top 15, top 10, then yes, I could see us getting to the Super Bowl this year.

Next year's, you're wrong about the Lions.

All right, I got one last question for you.

It's always great having you here, Joe.

Yes.

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I don't think I told this story on PMT,

but I want to hear your side of it.

We were in Tahoe for the golf tournament.

You played well.

Proud of you.

Right, dead middle.

Yeah.

Proud of you.

I was out to dinner with my wife on that Friday night, and

you were sitting a couple tables away.

You hadn't noticed that I was sitting by the window.

I didn't, yeah.

Until the waitress brought like server.

Server, sorry.

No, I think it was a chick.

The server

brought like six enormous cookies and chocolate dipping sauce and brought it to you and your wife.

And you're like, we didn't order that.

And then you turned around and I was just sitting there sheepishly like, yeah, that was my order.

What is you?

Because you didn't notice me until that moment.

You're like, he's the cookie guy.

Yeah.

That sucked for me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That was just pure happenstance.

I was crazy.

I'm really

figuring out that there's like this crazy sweet tooth you have.

I love cookies.

I mean, the coffee's great.

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

This is going to get me through at least the first half.

There we go.

Tonight.

Yeah, and you and I said at least twice, hey, let's get a drink.

Guess what two people didn't get a drink together is you and me.

Well, we got cookies.

We got cookies.

We shared a cookie.

And I ate all of them.

Yes.

That was impressive.

Those were.

But you turn around and you're just like, this fucking guy can't stop eating.

No, that's not true at all.

It was good seeing you.

It was great seeing you.

Yeah, it's always fun running into you.

Yeah, maybe throw in a little stellar blue coffee plug.

I don't know.

Yeah, sell it during the game.

Yeah.

Also, you're.

That's called Payola.

I don't think I can do that.

Well, okay, you know what?

You don't have to do that,

but you do have to do the audio book for our book.

I like that.

Good trade.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

It's a great trade.

That's a great trade.

We didn't win.

We don't even need you to do the whole, just like my chapter.

Do the first page, and then we'll use AI Joebug.

Yeah.

And then fill in the rest with half.

Yeah.

Okay.

We got it.

Yeah.

I did the audio version of my book.

And they're like,

okay, we have secured the studio four days, three hours a day.

I said, oh, no.

I am going to start reading it.

And when I'm done, I'm done.

And I read it straight through.

That's awesome.

And by the end, I'm just mailing it in.

Like,

my voice was done.

The end of it's got to be so bad.

And that's got to be torture to have to read it.

It's like doing the video games.

Yeah.

Jeff done those before, where it's like round ball to short, bouncer to short, bouncer to short, round ball to short.

It's like, can we fucking move on, please?

Can we get that one more time, bouncer to short?

I'm like, I've got to do every team, every player, every, you got to do it at the end of a sentence, you got to do it at the beginning.

You got to be excited.

You got to be, it's, there is no work.

Worse than that

in this business.

Yeah.

I never even thought of that, how much it must suck to do that.

Oh, Oh, and then they're like, hey, we got new names.

Because I did Xbox the first version of baseball.

Like, we got new names that they send you a thing of, I don't know, 250 names.

You got to do up, down, up.

It's,

I'm so glad other people do that.

Yeah.

It was just a cash grab for you, Joe.

Totally.

Like, are bad.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Good.

Well, thank you, Joe.

Yes.

You're the best, Joe.

We love you.

Let's save your voice.

We love you guys both.

Do you have to monitor how much you talk before a game?

No, this is actually good for me.

Warming you up.

We're fluffing you.

You're fluffing fluffing me yeah getting you like semi yeah and the voice scout why does it always have to go there you brought it up you did i did not bring it up i said this is good and you guys went off we know what you mean you guys continued you winked at us

keep winking at us it's real good i'm picking up

us yeah all right thanks thanks man

Joe Buck was brought to you by our great friends over at Uber Eats.

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On Saturday, I'm planning out my Saturday.

I'm going to go wings first.

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And then for my late dinner, I'm going to have some soup.

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love the show there's a bit of a problem in my friend group where none of us like one of the guys that's dating one of the original girls in our group original girl oh gee

as if that makes a difference it does uh she brought him around and he started hanging out with us about one year ago and he's about three years older than us.

Whoa.

He's honestly an asshole.

And he talks shit about us or our other friends when they aren't around.

Like I said, none of us really like him.

But we all feel like we can't really do much about it besides he's dating our friend.

Not really sure what to do, if anything.

Sounds like something that's never happened before.

One of you guys has to sleep with him.

Suck his dick.

That would break it off.

You gotta suck his dick.

Yeah, break it up real quick.

Just start sucking it.

Take one for the team.

No,

I mean,

you can't.

Someone has to step up.

You have one friend in the group that is like, she's the girl that's always like, my problem is I have no filter.

You need the no-filter girl to prove it right now.

And you just get really drunk.

Yeah, the no-filter girl in that group,

you are to blame for this, and you can no longer claim to be the one that's no filter unless you take the step up and tell this girl.

I disagree.

I think you just got to do nothing because...

There's nothing you can do.

That's just life.

You got to realize if someone's got a partner you don't like, it's guess what?

They like the partner more than they like you.

You could be friends forever.

BFFs.

It don't matter at all.

Just got to.

Or suck his dick.

Yeah.

Like, if you just do that, I actually do think that that would probably cause a riff.

You'll have to do a little damage control, but the guy will probably be gone.

Right?

Although it'd be awkward if they, like,

they stuck it out and

just sucked his dick.

That'd be a problem.

Okay.

Hey, PMT crew, how do I explain to my partner that even though my team is not playing, I want to watch the Sunday and Monday night games?

What does that mean?

I want to watch football.

Yeah, football's on.

You just say football?

Question mark?

Football.

That's a crazy question.

He's only.

Is this Jerry O'Connell?

You're not allowed to watch.

It might be Max.

Max, did you watch Monday Night Football?

Full thing.

Me and Games.

Well, me and me's always have the biggest banger parlay of all time.

We had Caleb Williams two-plus rushing touchdowns.

Are you a Monday Night Football guy now?

I might be.

That last play, he got it to the half-yard line.

I don't understand this question.

Yeah, I don't get football.

Like, let's say their partner doesn't really follow football, and you're a big fan of a team that played Sunday, and they're like, all right, you know, understandable.

That's your team.

But we're all

football more than anything else.

All of us are.

Yep.

Yep.

All of us.

We all watch football.

You just got to be like football.

I don't.

No, just say that.

You say it's your scouting for your team.

Like, you have to watch the other teams to make sure you know what's coming for when your team plays.

You also want to know if your team is good because you can draw some conclusions like, oh, this team won on Monday Night Football, but that team looked bad.

And by the transitive property, that means my team might be better.

You have to do all these.

I don't under again.

what's the issue here?

Yeah, I don't understand the issue either.

It's football.

The partner doesn't get it.

Yeah.

How do you make them get it?

Tell them.

Football.

Football's on.

Football is on TV.

I want to watch.

I watch football.

Just write that out.

Like a caveman on a rock.

Me watch football.

Okay.

I'm a big Giants fan, and my wife is an Eagles fan.

We have a two-month-old son.

We moved to South Jersey two years ago, and I told my wife that I've always wanted a son to watch the Giants with.

I also told her it would literally ruin my life if he becomes an Eagles fan.

My friends from down in Philly territory jokingly bought him an Eagles onesie jersey.

She put it on him during the family vacation before the Eagles Cowboys game on Thursday, and I freaked out in front of her family.

Kind of made an ass of myself, but she 100% knew that I would.

Now she is saying that I cannot dress him in any of the Giants gear that I bought him.

If she can't dress him in the Eagles shit, how do I make sure he grows up a a Giants fan?

I love that he freaked out on a two-month-old.

This is, this has got to be, what is it, not King Midas.

Is it King Midas?

Solomon.

Solomon.

You got to tell your wife, let's agree.

We'll make him a Cowboys fan.

And then if she's like, no problem,

then she deserves it.

Yeah.

What's that dude?

King Solomon?

But then you both just split the baby.

Cut the baby in half.

But that's also kind of funny.

That's what King Solomon did.

He was told, cut your kid in half.

And then he was about to, and they were like, just kidding.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've tested you and you passed the test.

Yeah, like if the other person, the test is,

like, hey, you got to cut the baby in half.

And then one of them says, you know what?

I want, I care about the baby so much.

You can have the baby.

I will not see it get cut in half.

So you got to see who...

who has that in them where they're like, you know what?

I want the baby.

I don't want the baby to grow up a Cowboys fan.

I would never wish wish that on anyone.

That person

is the rightful heir of the baby.

It's like when we put tennis on TV on Sunday just to see if Hank's going to watch it.

Correct.

And when he does watch it, we make fun of him.

But if he didn't watch it, we'd be like, okay, Hank, you can truly watch tennis because I know you're a football fan.

Also, just have more kids.

Split it up.

Get the rivalries going.

That's like what Jerry's doing.

He's raising one son.

I think his son is a Republican and his daughter is a Democrat.

Yes.

Just get some debates going in the house.

This is a weird one.

Last one.

Uh-oh.

Hi, Daddy's X5 exclamation point.

10 exclamation points.

I didn't realize football season started it and then ran into an issue I had forgotten about since last season.

Where am I supposed to sit on a football Sunday?

My boyfriend sits on the

chase.

Chase.

Chase.

Chase.

The chase.

The chassse part of our thing.

Is this why it was a wild one?

Because it had that word in it?

No.

That's tough word.

That's a tough word.

I would have said.

Shay's lounge.

Okay.

It just looks like a word that's supposed to be said weirdly.

Okay.

Right?

Part of our three-person

on the chase, part of our three-person couch, and no matter where I sit, it's uncomfortable.

He sets up a full camp set up over there with three venti coffees and snacks.

So I've tried to sit next to him to also enjoy the snacks, to which he says, there's a whole couch.

Yep.

When I sit on the other side, I might as well not be there.

So I end up leaving the room to to do anything else.

But then a whole day happens and I don't see my guy help.

Sounds like you actually answered your question.

Where should I sit?

The coffee shop.

It sounds like there's a whole couch.

Yeah.

There's a whole couch.

I don't, yeah, again.

Anywhere outside.

I'm confused.

There's a whole couch.

The chassis is connected to the rest of the couch, right?

Yeah.

So you guys are.

What is a chassis?

It's like the part of the couch that sticks out.

Yeah, the big, so you can put your feet up.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

What do you call it?

Just a couch.

Sectional.

It's the sectional part.

It's a whole couch.

The L.

Yeah.

That is the primo spot.

Let's just all agree.

That is the number one spot so far.

Yeah, listen.

Unless you're taller than your boyfriend, like I don't think you get

you don't get that spot.

Comfortability.

It's a leg issue?

Yeah, I think it's like a...

Hey, look, you should be comfortable on the couch.

I think she just is a little needy and wants to to touch him.

Yeah.

Which is too much.

Yeah, he's got his whole setup over there.

Get a dog.

There's a whole couch.

Yeah.

No, seriously, get a dog.

And just be like, go take the dog out.

You're good.

You want a companion?

Get a dog.

Boyfriend doesn't exist on football weekends.

Or just sit on the couch.

There's an entire couch.

An entire couch you could be sitting on right now.

Yeah.

But just get it.

I'm taking the guy.

Suck a dick, get a dog.

Those are the answers.

I'm taking the guy's side in this one.

Yeah, big time.

Did anyone steal my jerky?

It's in this back fridge.

Okay, were you going to tell me?

Yeah, I should have told you.

I was looking for it, and I was like, where the fuck's my jerky?

I started getting angry.

How's the weight loss going, guys?

Down 11.5 as a team.

Holy shit.

Max, did you try the jerky?

I did.

It tastes incredible.

It tastes like steak.

It's the best jerky ever.

Like, it tastes like medium rare jerky, which is

you know.

Shout out to my guys applying to meat market.

numbers three

during the joebuck interview you guys say numbers maybe yeah a thousand times memes said three every single time back here uh hank you can have three you sure yeah you want 22 sure i'll take 22 i like that i'll take 33

i'll take six

you said 99.

i was about to give it to you and then you started name calling what do you have memes

what what name did you call

you call me a piece of shit no now i'm keeping it a piece of shit well now i'm keeping it i'll be a a piece of shit.

You're keeping 99?

No, I was going to give it to him.

We don't do name calling.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, we do.

Yeah, we do.

We don't do name calling.

91, pug.

Okay.

26.

19.

76.

But it's in its day.

62.

sixty-two

Love you guys.

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