886. Q&AF: Handling Haters, How To Trust Yourself & Correcting Company Culture

Yeah, we're sleeping on the floor.

Now my druid box froze.

Fuck up bold, fuck up stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold, just a no.

Headshot, case close, close, close.

What is up, guys?

It's Andy Prisella, and this is the show for the realists.

Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society.

And welcome to motherfucking reality.

Guys,

are you guys done over over there

okay guys today we have q

n af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers you know the deal all right you can submit your questions multiple different ways the first way is guys email these questions into askandy at andyforsella.com or

you go on youtube drop your question in the comments

or

click that link underneath the video and you can call in the show.

All right.

So, and we want to hear from you.

So anyway,

we got multiple shows here.

All right.

Tomorrow we're going to have CTI.

That stands for Cruise the Internet.

That's our comedy, social events,

crazy world

show.

Okay.

I don't know what you want to call it.

It's a variety show.

Okay.

We put topics on the screen, we speculate what's true, what's not true, and then we talk about how we the people, the good citizens of the United States and the world have to fix these problems going on in the world uh other times we're gonna have real talk real talk's five twenty minutes me giving you some real talk and then we're gonna have 75 hard verses 75 hard verses where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show they talk about how they were before how they are now and how they turn their life around using the 75 hard program if you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is available for free at episode 208.

It is the world's most popular mental toughness program ever.

Get it for free on the audio feed, episode 208.

There's also a book called the Book on Mental Toughness, which includes the entire program, plus a whole bunch of extra content that is not free.

You can get it at AndyForsella.com.

And yeah, we got some big stuff coming down the pipe.

So keep your eye out on that.

It might include some books that I mentioned a few weeks ago.

So anyway,

we don't run ads.

We appreciate your help sharing the show.

So, don't be a hoe.

Let's share the show.

Yeah.

How about that?

Let's pull that one right out of my pocket.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah.

What's up, man?

Oh, nothing much, man.

You know,

dude, we do got a lot of stuff coming.

We got Summer Smash coming up.

Summer Smash this week.

Yeah, that's going to be crazy.

Is it this?

No, it's next week.

It's this week.

The show comes out on Monday.

Yeah.

Is Summer Smashing?

Oh, is it two weeks for now?

No, it's two weeks.

Oh, is it?

Bro, you almost almost shit my pants.

Yeah, me too.

Don't do that.

Bro, wait.

All right, two weeks.

We got two weeks, though, but I mean, it's a lot of planning that goes into that, man, to deliver a great, great experience.

Yeah, it's going to be awesome.

It'll be sick.

10th anniversary Summer Smash.

Number 10, dude.

Yeah.

Jeez.

Yep.

Geez.

What was the first one like?

Dude, we came up with the idea at the end of April and like did it at the beginning of June.

Man.

Yeah.

So it was like...

That's a very quick turnover.

Yeah, let's do this.

And we did it.

Yeah.

In comparison, people, like, after Summer Smash, we already started planning for the next one.

Yeah, now we do.

But I mean, it was cool, dude.

You know,

we didn't know what we were doing,

but it didn't matter because people came and they had a good time.

And,

you know, we don't really go to expos, like big big expos anymore.

Well, ever.

And we just wanted to spend time with our people.

So we threw this idea together.

People came and it grew every year.

And that was it.

It was totally different than the ones that we do now, though.

Like, it's similar, you know, where we do workout and all those things.

But we used to do a mud run instead of the

workout.

That was cool.

And then

the event itself was like

way smaller.

We didn't have music.

We had a DJ.

No, local DJ.

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

But it was fucking great.

It was fun, man.

It was the same amount of fun, but it wasn't, you know, such a production.

For sure.

But, you know,

now it's pretty fucking awesome.

Now it's crazy.

Yeah.

It is crazy.

Yes.

But there's, you know, like, dude, it was fun then too, man.

It's the people, dude.

People make the party, man.

That's right.

People make the party.

It's going to be a party this year.

That's no doubt.

Sick, man.

Well,

guys, it's Monday.

So we always start our week off with some good ones.

Yeah, we do.

Yeah, we do.

You got some good ones?

I got some good ones for you.

Well, guys, let's get to our first question.

We got a call in now.

I got a pre-warring.

All right.

Uh-oh.

This is a special guest.

Oh, yeah.

Special one.

This is a special guest, man.

And I didn't know this at the time, but confirmed it.

What kind of special?

It's my cousin.

Oh.

It's my 16-year-old cousin.

Oh, all right.

So you're playing playing favorites.

Well, I mean, but like, that's what I'm saying.

Like, it wasn't intentional.

It's actually a good question.

All right.

All right.

I know he's going through some stuff.

So,

yeah, let's give Colt call.

Now, I'm going to also tell you, you ain't got to hold back on him.

Okay.

Give it to him.

I'm not going to fucking hold back.

I'm just letting you know.

You're going to ruin my rep.

I don't fucking hold back.

No, I don't want you to think, oh, it's DJ's cousin.

Let me be nice.

No, I'm the extra mean.

Rip his ass.

All right.

All right.

Rip him.

All right.

Let's give, let's give, let's give my cousin Colt a call.

Colt?

Colton is his name.

He goes by Colt.

All All right.

Yeah, let's give him Colt.

That's kind of cool.

Yeah, that's cool, man.

He's a good kid, though.

Let's give him a call.

Hello.

Colt, what's up, man?

What's going on?

What's the word?

Oh, nothing but.

Colt, what's up, dude?

Hey, what's going on?

How are you?

I'm doing good.

How are you?

Good, Good, man.

Sitting here with your cousin.

Let me just start this.

I'll just start this off, okay?

You're probably screwed

because you're related to DJ.

All right.

So

I don't know if I'll be able to help you, but I'll do my best.

Yeah,

we'll try.

So what can we help you with, dude?

So

my question was

how can I let how can I not let what people say like affect my mind and instead like use it for like fuel to like motivate me to like keep going?

Okay, what kind of stuff like what are you getting at?

Like really just sports like just like people talking in sports like

you're always told not to like let it get to you, but sometimes it really does like in the game

in the game outside of the game just all around what what sport

uh baseball okay

so you guys talking shit in baseball, huh?

Right, right.

So

all right, so here's the deal.

First of all, anybody that's played baseball knows that talking shit is a real art.

So my first suggestion would be to get really good at it.

Right.

Yeah, but dude,

that's a real question, man.

And, you know, lots of people struggle with this

in all different areas of their life.

And some people never get over it, dude.

The reality is, is that most people never do what they really want to do in life because they are afraid of what other people are going to say.

And

you're calling in and asking this question at a perfect time in your life because you're getting into a phase where people aren't going to be very nice all the time.

Like it's going to be hard and people are going to be assholes.

And that's just reality of the world.

And so

you have to understand that a lot of times when we imagine these things, these things that people say to us,

we're building them up in our own minds, okay?

And I've done this before.

I'm not above this.

This is something I've had to work on my whole life.

And I'll tell you what I did and how I got over it.

But first thing is to become a little more aware.

Are people, and this is rhetorical for you to just ask yourself, are people actually saying these things?

Or am I thinking they might say these things?

And because they might say these things, I'm not doing what it is that I should or could or would be doing otherwise.

So

the first thing is to audit how bad it really is.

Okay.

Like,

is this real or is this shit that I'm making up?

Secondly, and this, and the reason I'm bringing this up is because most people struggle with that.

Most people do not have haters.

They don't have people that talk this shit.

They had one guy on the internet or one person in their family or, you know, a few people that they knew say a couple, you know, out-of-pocket things and they've stuck to them because, dude, we don't like to hear these things, bro.

Like, we don't, it doesn't feel good.

And I don't care who you are.

Like, it never feels good.

And

we have to understand that that's just a part of life.

All right.

There's people out there that are just fucking assholes.

Okay.

So

it gets worse.

It does get worse.

But here's the thing.

It never is what we think it is.

It's like when we deal with people who are like, oh man, all these people talk a shit, motherfucker, they're not talking shit.

You had one guy that says some shit.

Everybody else thinks you're cool.

And you're torturing yourself over what this one person said or these two people said.

Your whole life.

And now it's costing you everything in the future.

You see what I'm saying?

So we got to be aware that that's why most people fail in life, dude.

It really is.

They are their own worst enemy.

They imagine these things that people might say, which makes them, ironically, their own biggest hater.

All right.

So

that is aside.

And you should always remember this, Colt, because most people lose in life because they can't get past that.

They don't see the reality of how bad it is.

Now, the second part is, who gives a fuck?

Okay.

Who fucking cares?

You're going to be dead one day.

I'm going to be dead one day.

All these guys are going to be dead.

It doesn't fucking matter.

dude i had so many people in my life talk so much to me about my business in the early days when i was broke and i was living in the back of my store and i we couldn't get anywhere things weren't happening i had so many people bro tell me

you know hey man uh you know when are you gonna stop messing around with that with that little store and get a real job when are you gonna start taking life serious hey do you still got that little vitamin shop you know like i had that shit for

dude and uh

the truth of the matter is is like now i'm like holy bro i'm so thankful that i did not listen to any of them okay because now look you know what i'm saying like dude i've achieved you know more i mean i ain't stopping i'm just getting started but the reality is is i've achieved more than i ever thought i would achieve and i'm only 40 45 years old okay so right so and that comes from not listening to these motherfuckers that say this shit to you, dude.

So, like, you,

another point to think about is a lot of these people aren't on the same path.

They don't want what you want.

So, their opinions are fucking irrelevant.

But to answer your question, all right,

the way I've gotten through this

is just and it, you know, a lot of people don't get this, but every championship person I know understands this.

You take what they say and you fucking use it.

You take what they say and when it makes you mad, you automatically go do something to get better.

All right.

So for you in baseball, what position you play?

Second base.

Okay.

So every time you think about what these motherfuckers said, You go out and you start taking ground balls or you go out and you do your hitting or you go out and do something that is going to move you forward and that is how you properly use negative energy a lot of people just get mad and they get bitter but champion people use it and they and dude to the point of where sometimes when you get really really good you got to make it up okay there's a famous story about Michael Jordan

where

he went out on the court and started talking to one of the dudes.

He's like, hey, man, I fucking heard what you said about me the guy's like what are you talking about

and he's like yeah you're gonna say that now we're on the court man fuck you i'm gonna and then dude he just runs the dude over yeah so like wow yeah bro so like it's it's you have

to learn how to use the negative energy bro because here's the deal in life you're gonna get two kinds of energy you're gonna get encouragement and then you're gonna get discouragement you're gonna get negative energy brother And, and, and you're not going to want to hear this, but the truth of the matter is 80% of the energy you're going to get is probably negative for a very long time until you become so undeniable that nobody wants to say that shit.

All right.

Cause they look stupid.

That doesn't come for years down the road.

So right now where you're at, you're going to have to take everything that they said.

And you're going to have to get up off the couch or go put your fucking spikes on and get your glove, get some ground balls do some hitting practice you know uh i would encourage you to start learning some you know reading and learning about business and entrepreneurship and uh things that will help you professionally pass that even if you go play pro you're going to want to know what to do past that um but just do something productive work out go for a run something that makes you better because that's what every sitting bro i've met some really fucking champion level people i mean the the best of the best of the best outside of Michael Jordan, I've probably met most of them.

And fortunate enough to have conversations with them.

And they all think like that, every single one of them.

And you'll have these people out in the world that say, don't focus on the negative, focus on the positive.

Well, if that's true, then you're only going to use 30, 20 to 30% of the available energy to move forward.

Okay.

And I can tell you this, like when someone tells me how good I am, it sure doesn't fucking motivate me very much.

like when someone says hey man uh you're congratulations on all the success like i don't i don't get the fuck up and do any work any harder and say oh i want more

yeah when someone says hey uh fuck you andy you fat fuck guess what i do i go the fucking gym you know what i'm saying like so right yeah so dude you just got to learn how to utilize that negative energy because bro we're going to get way more of it and like dj said it gets worse and if you don't have the ability to leverage it or you laugh it off too easy,

a lot of people will say, oh, just laugh it off.

Who cares?

No, dude.

Take that shit in.

Get fucking pissed about it.

And then go do the thing that's going to make you better.

That's where most people miss it.

They get real pissed, but then they sit there and they sulk.

That doesn't do you any good, man.

The best workouts I've ever had, the best ideas I've ever had, the hardest I've ever worked is when I felt disrespected.

All right.

So, dude, swallow that shit and let it simmer and let it piss you off and then go do your shit, bro.

Right.

I'm talking like right then.

I don't mean like, dude, if it's 11 o'clock at night and someone's like, hey, fuck you, bro, go for a fucking 10 minute run.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, dude, if you can seriously discipline yourself enough to move forward every time someone says some negative shit, do you know how fucking good you become?

You become great because the energy is just much more available than it is the positive

so what do you I mean

what do you think bro does that make sense

yes sir it does okay what kind of shit are they saying to you dude

just like just like giving me crap about like playing time and uh transferring schools like all this stuff man just swallow that shit down and work out work them bro and it'll all work out

all right

yes sir all right man you have any more issues with that you call back in yeah i'll pull up man i gotta

no bro this is part of growing up

you know what i'm saying like dude you know part of the reason that i'm where i'm at in life is because everybody fucking bullied me when i was young bro that's the truth i was bullied i was made fun of i was called a fat fuck i was told i was no good i had a guidance counselor in high school tell me that there's no fucking way that i was going to ever be successful actually what he told me was: I tried to go to, I wanted to go to Notre Dame

and I wanted to go to Notre Dame or the University of Texas.

And his exact words to me were, Andy, those schools aren't for people like you.

You're a community college person.

And he fucking told me that straight to my face.

And dude, to this day, I fucking think about it.

You know what I'm saying?

So, like,

these things that people say that like pierce your fucking heart are the most valuable things that anybody will ever say to you in your entire life but you won't realize it until you've you've gone down the journey of where you want to go all right so one day

Colt you're gonna be in a position And, you know, maybe it's in baseball, maybe it's a professional career, just being a successful human.

And you're going to say, man, I'm glad all those

said that to me you know what i'm saying like you're gonna like you know like i have a list bro and like i sometimes i think about like literally sending them a thank you card and i'm being serious

yes yeah man because

i wouldn't yeah

i wouldn't dude and i've i've learned to be appreciative of those people because of the fuel that they gave me and

Right.

Yeah, dude.

It's hard to see when you're in it, but once you use it, you'll start to understand.

Love it.

Love it.

All right, Cole.

Go get it done, man.

All right.

Yes, sir.

Thank y'all so much for talking to me.

All right, brother.

We'll see you.

All right.

Y'all are good ones.

All right, you too.

Yeah, man, that's hard as a young dude.

It's tough.

I mean, especially, dude, kids nowadays.

They're mean as fuck.

It's different.

I know.

They're savage, bro.

It's so different.

Plus, you got to go home and see it on the internet.

Right, right.

It's not off.

It used to be.

It was just at school.

No, that shit goes home with you.

It's everywhere.

Bro, you just got to learn to sell.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

We'll see.

Watch this.

Yeah, that's right.

That's real.

We'll fucking see.

I love it, man.

Well, guys, let's get to our second question.

Got to write in here.

Guys, Andy, question number two.

Hey, Andy.

I always ask everyone, everyone else, for their opinions, whether it's my friends, coworkers, or just strangers online.

I weigh every perspective but my own.

I think I'm afraid that if I really trusted myself and got it wrong, I'd have no one else to blame.

But what if I'm the only one I need to trust?

What would change if I finally did?

How do you learn to trust yourself when it comes to perspectives?

First of all,

look, dude.

Don't be asking your fucking friends who aren't doing the same shit that you're doing advice.

You don't take financial advice from a fucking poor person.

You don't take

fitness advice from a 400-pound dude who's never worked out.

This is common sense.

Your fucking friends and probably most of your family is not doing or on the same path that you are on.

All right.

The nature of you

writing into this show tells me that you want more.

Nobody that doesn't want more listens to this show.

Okay.

That's why so many people complain about it.

All right.

It is a small percentage of people that want to do better in life.

And you are in that group.

And if you are trying to get validation or ask opinions from people who are not on that path, you are constantly inviting sandbag comments to pull you off track.

All right.

They're going to instill doubt.

They're going to make you question things.

They're going to discourage you.

They're going to say things that make you feel a certain way that you shouldn't feel.

All right.

And it's hard to get past this because in your mind these are the people who should care about you the most all right so you have to understand dude real simple you cannot take advice when it comes to your path from anybody that hasn't been down the road or is on the same path it's a completely different life than everybody else all this shit you see on the internet about balance and all this victimhood shit and all this oh trauma shit and you need therapy bro that's for everybody else okay you're a builder you're a creator you're an achiever and you know that in your heart which is why you're asking the question so you are paralyzed by people who aren't even on the same path you have to understand that stop asking people who aren't even in the same fucking stratosphere about what they want in life what you you should be doing they're going to give you advice about what they do this should be obvious to you okay and all that does is confuse you and paralyze you and cause you to eventually doubt enough to where you give up and you say it i'm it's not for me everybody around me tells tells me it's not for me everybody says uh i'm not smart enough or i'm not good enough or i'm not humble enough or i need to be like this or i need to do that or are you sure listen stop doing that.

You are torturing yourself by asking them anything.

All right?

If you want to be an average motherfucker that lives an average life that doesn't really want to ask them what you should do,

because whatever they say, bro, if you follow it, you're just going to be like them.

That's the truth.

That's the truth.

Okay?

Now.

To the point of listening to yourself.

The reason that you don't trust yourself is because you haven't haven't ever built the confidence to trust yourself.

I bet without looking at your life, you have a major problem with execution and you have a major problem with follow-through.

I can tell by the nature of your question.

Because if you were executing and if you were following through, you would have developed confidence in yourself to make the decisions that you want to make without anybody else's opinion.

When you have built yourself into a resilient, strong, strong, badass,

mentally fucking hard motherfucker, you do not need other people's opinions on things.

You only ask them when they know more than you, which is a smart thing to do, by the way.

All right.

So we have to work with you on building your confidence, building your self-esteem, building your grit, building your fortitude, following through.

All right.

And dude, by the way, I've developed an entire program that helps you train this in yourself.

It's called 75 Hard and Live Hard.

You get it for free at episode 208.

I'm sure you've heard of it because the whole world's heard of it.

All right.

You need to live on that fucking lifestyle.

That is the truth.

You need to get on live hard.

I would recommend every entrepreneur do it because it sharpens you throughout the entire year.

It keeps you high performing.

It keeps you mentally clear and it allows you to operate at the highest level.

And by the way, it gives you the confidence that you could trust yourself because you've just shown yourself that you can do all these hard things that other people can't even fathom.

So you don't look to other people's validation anymore because you know you're stronger than them.

All right.

So if you want to trust yourself, you've got to give yourself reasons to trust yourself.

And you haven't done that yet.

All right.

So go out, live on the program,

understand

that the more you listen to people who aren't doing shit, the more likely you are to fall in line with them and not do shit either.

All right.

And then start seeking the advice of people who are further down the road or have done what it is that you want to do and only listen to them.

Don't listen to anybody else.

So

that's pretty much it, bro.

Like.

You got to understand, dude, the ability to trust yourself comes from situations where you made decisions on your own, you followed through, and it worked out.

That is a muscle that you have to train, bro.

It's a perishable skill.

If you don't train that within yourself, it's going to come and go.

Sometimes you're going to have confidence.

Sometimes you won't.

Sometimes you'll feel good.

Sometimes you won't.

Sometimes you'll be able to trust yourself.

Sometimes you won't.

And dude, you'll go up and down.

It'll drive you fucking crazy.

You need to become the kind of person that can trust themselves, that can follow through on their word, that can do what they say they're going to do.

And that is something that you have to intentionally train.

It is not something that people are born with.

It's something that you have to build through repetition, just like playing the guitar or just like doing anything that requires practice.

Okay.

A lot of people, they play the guitar and they don't play for three or four years.

And guess what?

They suck.

All right.

If you take a shower today and you don't take one for the next week, you don't get to go back and say, hey, well, I took a shower that one time.

It doesn't work like that.

It's the same thing with your discipline.

It's the same thing with your confidence.

It's the same thing with your self-belief.

It's you have to train them.

All right.

And once you start to train them, you will have more trust and faith in yourself.

So stop listening to people who aren't on the same path.

They're poisoning your mind.

They're instilling doubt.

They're making you question things.

And eventually, they'll make you question it so much that you will give up and you will join them.

And then you will spend the rest of your life being regretful of not doing what it is you wanted to do.

I want to ask this: this is going to be a real conversation.

And

I don't think anybody talks about this.

How do you handle the resentment when you finally learn that when you were asking them for their opinion, they told you to go left and you didn't?

Like just how wrong they were.

How do you handle that resentment?

Is there resentment?

No, I mean, look, dude, well, it depends.

Did they do it intentionally or did they, or

they just don't know because they're not on the path?

Right?

Like,

I guess.

But listen, it does matter.

Intent does matter because some people will try to help you, you, but they don't know.

Right.

They have no business trying to help you.

And they're not aware enough.

And the person asking is not aware enough to say, hey,

this guy's life fucking sucks.

You know what I'm saying?

It might not be right.

Yeah.

So

we have to not give value to our friends and family to skills that they do not possess.

They do not possess at all.

They might want to help you, but they can't help you.

That's like like someone who can't swim, being asked to swim out in the middle of the lake and save a drowning person.

You can't do it.

You might want to, but you can't.

All right.

And so if it's like that, there really isn't resentment.

You just say, hey,

they love me.

They gave me what they thought was good advice.

And it was framed because that's what they believe.

And that's why you don't ask them.

All right.

And in that case, there's no resentment.

It's just, hey, we're on different paths.

It's a good-hearted person.

You know,

we can hang out at at the barbecues and be cool friends, but I'm not going to ask him shit.

You know what I mean?

I mean, there's plenty of people out there that you can remain friends with and just not ask their advice.

Or when they give it, just say, hey, man,

you know, real talk.

I don't give a fuck.

You know what I'm saying?

So,

but then there is people that will try to pull you off track and you'll realize it down the road,

especially with like people you date.

All right.

You'll realize that.

And dude, it's just realizing that those people don't give a fuck about you.

They give a fuck about them.

And dude,

you don't have to resent them.

You just let them go, bro.

Just let it go.

Resentment eats you up.

It doesn't do anything to them.

It doesn't fix the situation.

It's not productive.

You just accept things for what they are, and they are what they are.

I love that, dude.

Yeah.

I love it, man.

Guys, let's get to our third and final question.

We got another call in.

All right.

Let's do it.

All right, guys.

Our third and final question, we got another call in.

This is Hunter.

Let's give Hunter a call.

Hello, it's Hunter.

Hey, what's up, Hunter?

What's going on?

Scared me there, Lord.

What's up, Hunter?

How you doing, bro?

Yo, what's up, man?

So what do you got for us today, bro?

Where are you at?

You sound like you're in like,

you in Alabama?

No, no, North Carolina.

I got my whole family in the car.

We're going to see the new Lilo and Stitch movie.

All right.

All right.

So the family's there, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, I got you in my ear, bud, because you never know, you know, what could happen on one of that.

That's probably a good idea.

Smart.

Well, what can we help you with, bro?

Well,

if you don't mind, like, I'd like to maybe give you a little synopsis of like my family's business and my situation and then read the questions so you got a little understanding.

So

we've been in business for 15 years.

We've got a car dealership right outside of Raleigh, North Carolina, that my dad started with like a motorcycle and a tractor out of his garage, sold those, bought his first car, sold that car, bought two more.

Now, we've got two locations with 150 units

over the last 15 years.

He's built a pretty, pretty successful business in our area

that our community trusts.

And, you know, we do things the right way, as you should.

The question that I've got relates to the culture of our business.

So

I'll just read it to you.

So

my question was: How can I shift the culture of a small family business when the majority of the employees are old, established hires who are not only lazy, but can be active cancers within the company?

My dad has made all of these hires and now has kind of stepped away from the day-to-day and is more hands-off in the company.

Okay, well, what's your role in the company?

So I run,

so we have two, three locations.

I run one of the car lots

and I have, I've like kind of revamped all of my employees and established like my own culture within my store.

The other two locations are all hires that have really been with them since day one.

And the majority of them are great, but there are a couple um that i think you know he obviously wants to see the good in his people that he hired um and kind of and doesn't see how they behave on the day-to-day right um

so we've got some you know just some some bad apples in the group that know that since he was they were hired by him almost have like the hidden immunity idol and there's nothing that i can really do to manage those employees because they know that he hired them and I can't fire them.

Okay.

And those employees work inside your store?

No, no, I've got, I don't have any of the old employees at my location, but so we have like an auto shop that all of our cars go through.

So we work and a detail shop at the other store.

So we work closely with all locations, but my store independently does not have any of the

old established hires.

And how's your store perform next to the other stores?

Great.

I mean, they have about three to four times the inventory that I do.

And I, I mean, I hang right with them every month in terms of sales.

So they have four times the product, three to four times the product.

And I typically, you know, am maybe a small percentage behind what they sell.

Okay.

With maybe more than half, less than half the inventory.

Okay.

All right.

So is your dad planning on like

getting completely out to where you're going to be able to run things at any time soon?

Steve, that's where it's weird is like he every week like he's gone four or five days a week um when he stops into the store it's only for maybe 10 or 15 minutes okay um but he's very adamant about keeping his his people

why do you think that is

why you think that is well yeah so he's got a very good heart right um and and his people are loyal to him yep um

and but i've heard you say time and time again that you know just because you show up for work you may be loyal in terms of like like being on time and doing what you, but they're just, they just do what they're supposed to do

as an employee.

Um, but they are loyal, right?

They've been with him for 10 or 12 years.

Um,

but since he stepped away from the company, like, I don't think that

how old are people

without him actually in store.

How old are these people?

Um, probably like late 40s, early 50s.

Okay.

And what is your uh ideal outcome for for what are you are you trying to grow the company trying to open up more stores what what do you what are you trying to do

yeah so right now um

we're just kind of coasting with what we've got um we've got a lot of room to grow um we could probably double our inventory between the two stores the current locations but i think like the 10-year plan would be you know open a second or third or fourth uh retail location and grow outwards in that, in that manner.

Okay.

All right, man.

So here's the deal.

Your dad is loyal to these people because they helped him build what he has.

Okay.

And

this is a common trait.

You know, I have a number of people that have helped me grow my companies that I would do literally anything for.

And some of them are still here and some of them aren't.

and there if you're a good person

like you say your dad is i you know when i asked you that question i was pretty sure what the answer was going to be uh

you know you feel a very deep sense of gratitude and you tend to give sometimes passes to people that uh you wouldn't in other in other situations and right how i would address this issue okay because here's the truth you already know what's got to happen there's only two things that can happen here one they they can get on board.

Two, they can get the fuck out.

All right.

And

they're probably not going to get on board at 50 years old.

I just got to be real.

They've already accepted their lifestyle.

They've already like they've, you know, most people at 50 are not ambitious.

They've decided, hey, man, this is just what my life's going to be.

And so to get those people to...

to execute at a higher level than what they've been used to is probably

uh

it's going to be very difficult probably um

now there's going to be exceptions right but

probably not okay so the other thing is so so the other situation is you know okay you got to get rid of them your dad doesn't want to get rid of them because they're 50 years old and he's thinking like well what are they going to do it's going to them up so what needs to what needs to happen here

before the culture even gets addressed you have to have a conversation with your dad.

Okay.

And you have to say, hey, look, dad,

I know that you built this business.

It's you, what you've done is amazing.

I want to take the business to the next level so that I can be proud of what I've done with my life.

I don't want to just sit here in the store and run a store.

I want to take what you've done and I want to take it to the next level, which I'm sure at one point in time is what you also wanted.

And then I would say,

I would say, look at my grandkids.

I'm trying to provide, or look at your grandkids.

I'm trying to provide the best opportunity for them.

And the reason you're going to say it like that is because you want him to expand his thinking outside of just himself or you.

Okay.

And if you say, hey, I'm trying to set something up for them, that he's going to see that differently.

All right.

So you have this conversation with him.

And you say, look, there's only so much I can do with Steve and Larry and Bob.

Okay.

They're fucking up everything that I got going on.

They can, you have to talk to them.

They can either work and get on board with me or we're going to have to get rid of them because it's going to hurt our family, man.

And you have to have a real conversation with him.

And you got to say, like, hey, dad, I know you have a good heart.

And I know you care about these people, but you care about those grandkids more than you care about those people.

All right.

And you got to start putting pressure on him to understand that like this is bigger than him.

And it is this isn't this isn't manipulation this is just a like a negotiation uh to get him to realize like hey man because he's probably not realizing it he's probably thinking like oh everything's good i gotta you know i can go to fishing i can go do my thing and everything's fine but what he what he doesn't realize like you said is what goes on when he's not there all right so that conversation has to happen and it has to happen in a real serious way like hey like hey dad

can can you, can we get together?

Like, or can we meet here?

And I need to talk to you about something that's, that's, it's real important.

I just don't want to bring it up casually.

Like, set an official meeting with him so that there's weight to the conversation.

All right.

And then, then we can start addressing the culture.

Okay.

Because until you get the cancer out of your, you're correct in your assessment.

Until you get the cancer out of your company, you can't get people aligned because, and I'm going to to explain this, you already know this, but I'm going to explain this for the listeners.

When Hunter tries to change the culture, what's happening here is he's being undermined by people who have been there longer, who are older than him, who are, who know the way it really is.

This is how we've always done it.

And so Hunter's walking in the room saying, hey, guys, This is what I want to do.

This is what we want to do.

This is this.

And the minute he walks out of the room, he's getting undermined by these people who truly don't give a fuck and and and we might sit here and say oh they they really do care no they don't because if they really cared they'd get on board with them if they really cared they would do what is going to be best for the company and if they were really loyal to your dad bro they would work their fucking asses off in gratitude for the opportunity that they've been provided that's the truth okay so this this guilt this guilt that your dad has is wrong it's misplaced okay if they were loyal, they would fucking be they would be doing everything they can to grow that business because it would also serve them to grow it as well.

But, like I said, they're 50 years old, they've accepted where they are, they're ambitious, they don't want to work any harder, and every place has people like that.

But the minute they start undermining and the minute they start sabotage, they got to go, bro.

They got to go.

So,

yeah, so you know, that's that has to be addressed before we address the culture.

All right.

Now, once you get all that addressed, there is some formalization that you can do inside your company.

And, dude, listen, culture is a, that's a week-long boot camp.

Okay.

And I actually am going to start doing something like that soon.

But

in the short of time we have,

What you have to do, dude, is you have to set some standards.

And you have to, I'll give you a couple pieces of

what this will take to fix it.

All right.

One, you got to define what the vision is.

All right.

What's the vision of what you're trying to do?

Once you define that, you have to make the vision work for them.

Okay.

They have to understand what are they going to get out of the vision.

They have to believe that they can get it out of that vision.

And

so you have to set basically a very clear goal for what they are going to get out of growing the company.

Number two, you got to develop a really, a real mission statement, not some bullshit that you put on the wall that says, we, uh, we here at, you know, at Hunter Car Dealership, we stand for integrity.

No, I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about some real shit that you guys live by.

All right.

Then three,

you have to set core values for the company.

And these core values, you could pick like six to 10 of them.

and these have to become the guide rails for how you audit your performance your decision and you have to teach your employees to audit themselves against those same values meaning if the value says accept responsibility or go the extra mile they should be able to look at that list and say am I doing that am I going the extra mile Am I taking responsibility for the things that go wrong?

And use that and teach them as a framework how to stay within that guide guide rail.

And the third part or the fourth part here is going to be speak in that language, meaning when you make a correction, when you have to, you know, let's say have a meeting with someone or talk to them about something or you're making a correction about something, you're going to want, instead of saying, hey, that was wrong, don't do that again, you're going to say, hey.

What core value do you think that violates here?

And you make them go up and and down and tell you.

And then you say, okay,

what do you think you should have done?

And you make them go up and down and tell you.

All right.

And you start communicating and correcting along these core values.

And I guess the sixth thing, fuck, I don't know.

How many numbers is that?

Five or six?

Whatever.

The next thing is you need to hire and fire by those core values.

So if you have, and you've already figured this part out, if you have people that aren't a fit, they got to go no matter what.

It doesn't matter how good they sell.

It doesn't matter what, it doesn't matter.

They have to fucking go because those people will always poison the culture.

So

those are some quick things that you can do, dude.

And oh, and here's another one.

Instead of making, do you guys have like awards and shit that you do?

Yeah, yeah, we've got some like bonus programs.

And what are they, and what are they based upon?

How much you sell?

It just depends on the position, but yeah, technically, it's based off sales.

Yeah.

All right.

So take, take

that metric, having it based off sales, and make your awards based on the core values.

Okay.

Meaning,

you know, like who who did who had the coolest go the extra mile story for the dealership?

Who had the, you know, like start making the rewards based around the value system that you that you have inside your company, and that will correct the behavior because they won't, because like, dude, as you know, as a salesperson,

you know, sales at the cost of anything is not actually a good way to run your business because it feels salesy and people don't come back and then you get a bad reputation so overselling is probably one of the worst things you could do in any business so you want to you want to shift the idea from selling to actually serving and helping through these core values.

And when you do that, bro, you end up in a situation where people are providing the best possible outcome for your customers because ultimately the best marketing that you have, and I don't know anything about your business, but it's word of mouth.

They're going to say, hey, I went down to fucking, I went down to Hunter.

The guys were awesome.

I would never go anywhere else.

I'm only going to Hunter.

Yes.

And that's not.

I mean, in the community, we've got, I mean, on Google, we've got like a 4.9 star.

I mean, we probably over 50% of our business is from word of mouth.

Yeah.

Do you mind if I ask you a quick follow-up?

Yeah.

So because I'm not, let's say you have two options to deal with the cancer, right?

You can, if you can cut it out immediately, which is not an option for me, I'm kind of left as acting as almost like a chemo, right?

And so these people have been left kind of put on my plate where I have to deal with them, but throwing them out, cutting them out is not an option.

So how can I deal with these people and almost like, how can I make these people more effective?

when they're not my hires, they don't listen to what I say, and they know that they've found like an immunity where there's nothing that I can do per se right to say like there's no respect for me you want to know the truth

you want to know the truth you fucking can't can't do it you can't do it you'll lose so it's either get rid of them right

or you're gonna lose that's it or get rid of them you're gonna stay where you're at so that's why I said you need to talk to your dad you're gonna have to have a confrontational discussion with your dad because I've been doing this for 26 years.

I'm probably one of the biggest experts in the world on culture.

And I can promise you, I couldn't do what you're asking for you to do.

There's no other work.

I couldn't fucking do it.

This has been a discussion for who knows, probably the last couple of years.

And I've been sending the episodes to show him, hey, look what he said, the cancer, you got to get rid of it.

And so, my sharing the show and not being a hoe has been really sending these episodes to him to say, look, man, this guy's built, you know, astronomical things.

He's not just making it up.

And

there's no example where the cancer stays in the business.

It can't happen.

There's only two options.

They can either get on board and respect your father who gave them a career and work at the standard that needs to be done

or they have to go and that's it.

And dude, this undermining shit and okay, if you're saying, oh, well, I need to make it better right away.

Look, dude, I know how I would handle it, like, but I probably can't say it on the air.

Okay.

Real talk.

Call me on the yeah like real talk dude like you're not gonna fucking undermine me not when I'm paying your motherfucking bills it's not happening bro so uh

that's that's total disrespect total disrespect so at a bare minimum that has to stop but it's still not gonna fix what you're trying to fix if you want to fix a little bit today I'd go sit down with them.

I say, hey, man, I get you've been here for 55 years, whatever the fuck they've been here.

And I'd say,

I get that.

And I get that.

How old are you

26 I get that I'm only 26 and you think I'm like some young dude doesn't know shit but I'm gonna tell you right now between me and you I'm gonna get my fucking way and if you fuck the minute I get it if you don't fucking stop what you're doing you're gonna be the fucking out of here and I'd fucking tell that right to their fucking face I'd pull them outside I'd say hey let me talk to you for a second And I'd have a real,

that's exactly what I would say.

I'd say, hey, look here, Bob, I know you're 50 years old and you don't give a fuck about your life, but you see those kids over there?

I give a fuck about them.

And my dad gave you a fucking opportunity to build a career, to do these things.

And every time I walk out of the meeting, you're telling these guys this and this and this.

That's going to fucking stop because there's going to be a day real soon where I'm running shit and you're not going to have a fucking job.

And I would make that really clear, dude.

And if they, if they, you know,

that I would say just like that.

That'll get you a little bit of time.

Yeah, that'll That'll buy you some time.

Yeah, but it won't fix it.

Right.

Yeah.

Probably need to sit down as a company, right, and address the issues.

No.

With all of us together in the room.

I mean, yeah, I would do that.

Yeah, after we discuss in private, get on the same page.

That's passive, bro.

Okay.

First of all, you can't hold the whole company accountable for the actions of a few because

the ones that are really trying hard will be discouraged by that.

They'll say, fuck, dude, Hunter's not seeing what I, like, all the shit I do, like, they don't even appreciate it.

So it has to be in private.

Right, right.

Okay.

Bro, I'll come do it.

Fuck those guys.

Man, sounds like a plan.

Dude, listen, do it.

Otherwise, you're going to be stuck in the same system forever.

And, dude, you're going to be failing your own family, bro.

Fuck those guys.

Okay.

If they don't want to get on board and your dad feels bad, you need to get your dad to understand they're not respecting what he's what he's done for them

right

well that's what I'll do first thing tomorrow morning.

All right, brother

right now,

but I'll have to get it

but listen man.

I'm listen

You will be glad you did this it will change it will get you in a position where you can grow and you can do your thing and it'll probably happen a lot faster than 10 years, dude.

Right.

So,

all right bro sounds good man well thank you guys i appreciate it you're welcome hunter see you bro all right yep have a good one bye

yeah

that's a hard convo to have man it is if you never had it yeah that's gotta be it is if you never had it i don't listen man that's that's real

those guys aren't respecting his dad for what they did for him and now they're sandbagging this guy you know and his family and what he's trying to do because he's only 26 and they don't want to listen to him he's out here trying to build build a career.

You know, the truth of the matter is, if his dad won't fucking allow him to do that, he should go do his own thing because he's always going to be handicapped by his dad's inability to recognize what is true.

You know what I'm saying?

And then his dad has to fucking see, like, man, I'm hurting my own family by keeping these guys here.

And if he does have a heart, he's going to see that and he'll get in line.

Maybe.

I mean, maybe.

Yeah.

You know, I understand how his dad feels, bro.

But listen, there's a time when loyalty expires.

There's there's an expiration to loyalty it does not last forever okay it ain't just this trade-off and yes yeah right right man i was thinking too bad like even just on the the the the cancer conversation bro like even having the conversation you know

yeah they might get in line for a little bit yeah it's it's a band-aid

for a little bit listen man at 50 years old you are who the fuck you are you know i'm saying yeah man

well guys andy that was three all right all right guys well uh

let's get out there let's let's have a good week, and uh, we'll see you tomorrow.

Remember, sleeping on the floor, now my druid box froze.

Fuck a boat, fuck a stove, counted millions in a cold, bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope, can't fold, that's a no, headshot case clothes.