Ep. #668: James Carville, Rep. Dan Crenshaw, Kaitlan Collins

Speaker 1 This is Marshawn Beast Mode Lynch. Prize Pick is making sports season even more fun.
On Prize Picks, whether you're a football fan, a basketball fan, it always feels good to be right.

Speaker 1 And right now, new users get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. The app is simple to use.
Pick two or more players, pick more or less on their stat projections.

Speaker 1 Anything from touchdown to threes, and if you're right, you can win big. Mix and match players from any sport on PrizePicks, Prize America's number one daily fantasy sports app.

Speaker 1 PrizePicks is available in 40-plus states, including California, Texas, Florida, and Georgia. Most importantly, all the transactions on the app are fast, safe, and secure.

Speaker 3 Download the PrizePicks app today and use code Spotify to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code Spotify to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.

Speaker 3 PrizePicks, it's good to be right. Must be present in a certain six.
Visit PrizePicks.com for restrictions and details.

Speaker 4 At blinds.com, it's not just about window treatments. It's about you, your style, your space, your way.

Speaker 4 Whether you DIY or want the pros to handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right.

Speaker 4 From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows. Because at blinds.com, the only thing we treat better than windows is you.

Speaker 4 Black Friday deals are going on all month long. Save up to 45% off site-wide, plus an additional 10% off every order right now at blinds.com.

Speaker 2 Rules and restrictions apply.

Speaker 5 Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Month series, Real Time with Bill Maher. Start the clock.

Speaker 5 Hey, everybody, how you doing?

Speaker 5 How are you doing down there?

Speaker 5 All right,

Speaker 5 thank you very much.

Speaker 5 Welcome back.

Speaker 5 Thank you for staying. I appreciate it.

Speaker 5 Okay,

Speaker 5 wow.

Speaker 2 All right. Thank you very much.

Speaker 2 Oh, please. We've got a big show.
There's so much to cover. So much to cover because we've been off for a whole month.
Man, one month, what can happen in a month? I mean,

Speaker 2 a month ago, the Democrats were so resigned to going into battle with the scheduled remains of Joe Biden.

Speaker 2 And now, you know, they're ecstatic because they have this youngish, hottish

Speaker 2 woman. It's like a rom-com.
You were there all along.

Speaker 2 And we didn't see you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 so shit, now she's leading in the poll. Ever since Kamala took over in the polls, I mean, Trump

Speaker 2 has been petty and vindictive and lying and whining, so no no change.

Speaker 2 But yeah,

Speaker 2 a month ago, it was just a month ago, our last show, when Joe Biden was saying the Lord Almighty would have to tell him to step down.

Speaker 2 And then the Lord Almighty knocked on the door and said, Joe, it's me, Nancy Pelosi.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 the Democrats, I got to give it to the Democrats. They did what they never do.
They got organized right away. They got united.
Joe out. Cam in.

Speaker 2 Vice President, get the dad bod guy in Minnesota.

Speaker 2 We need someone to appeal to them red state white guys.

Speaker 2 It's like coaxing a cat that's under the car, you know, like, come on out, it's okay. I've got an old white guy with me.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I mean, it was a good choice for them. We relate to Tim Walls.
We know who Tim Walls is. He's the guy at the end of the bar who shut the fuck up about high school football.

Speaker 2 No, I mean, I like him. He's

Speaker 2 a lot of energy, a lot of hugging. It's like vice president cocaine bear.

Speaker 2 But no, you've got to give it to the Democrats.

Speaker 2 They had a great convention with a message, and the message is: we're the party that talks to its people like adults and respects their intelligence, and we're going to say it till you get it through your thick skull.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 the message was we're a normal political party. We're not great.

Speaker 2 We're a Corolla.

Speaker 2 Not great, but just remember, the other choice is a child molester's van that's also a car bomb.

Speaker 2 Of course, the one big disappointment at the Democratic Convention, it was widely reported that Beyoncé was going to show up and did not.

Speaker 2 But that's the difference between the Democrats and the Republicans. It's disappointing when Beyonce, for the Democrats, doesn't show up.

Speaker 2 And for the Republicans, that they can get Hulk Hogan to show up.

Speaker 2 But look, I mean, I'm sorry, Republicans. A month ago, you had it in the can.
Now you've lost your mojo. I mean, today, J.D.
Vance's couch said, not tonight.

Speaker 2 I'm just not in the mood anymore.

Speaker 2 And no, I'm telling you

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 Trump did not see this coming, and he is now shitting in his pants.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 Biden said, when I did that, they made me quit.

Speaker 2 No, he's.

Speaker 2 Trump is getting desperate. Today he asked if someone would shoot him in the other ear.

Speaker 2 And you know, he is his own worst enemy when he gets like this. So the Republicans are trying to cheer Trump up through this difficult period.

Speaker 2 Today, in the middle of his speech, Lindsey Graham stood up and went, that's my dad.

Speaker 2 All right, we got a great show. We have James Carville.
Perfect.

Speaker 2 And Congressman Dan Crenshaw, the first up. She is the former chief White House correspondent for CNN and anchors the primetime show, The Source, with Caitlin Collins.
Caitlin Collins!

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 Hi. How you doing?

Speaker 2 How are you?

Speaker 2 How you doing? Good. How are you doing?

Speaker 2 Oh, you know. Well, I know you, I've been watching you each night on the convention.
You must have just flown last night or today? This morning.

Speaker 6 I mean, it was like truly insane. I've never shaken so many hands or been like so close to so many people because the Democrats have so many more delegates than the Republicans do.

Speaker 6 So the floor is like totally insane.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, look, I've been watching conventions for a long time. There is still something exciting about being on the floor.

Speaker 6 There is something, oh, the floor is the best assignment. That's what I did at the Republican convention, and then I did it at this convention.

Speaker 6 But it's you're just kind of walking around, and it's like all these lawmakers and people that you typically try to interview and wrangle to get on the show.

Speaker 6 And then they're just there, and you can just, you know, pop a question to them. But also, you can really get a good read on how they're feeling,

Speaker 6 where the party is, what they're nervous about, what they're excited about. And I think it's the best way to report on what's actually happening at the convention.

Speaker 2 So, you win both conventions. Who won? I mean, if we do this by convention, what are we doing?

Speaker 6 What's your measurement?

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, I guess

Speaker 2 is that like an Obama dick joke?

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 excitement. I mean, I would say a lot of it is,

Speaker 2 I would say the Democrats, because, I mean, I thought the Republicans had it in the bag, I think it turned out so well for the Democrats because it's one thing to like think you're dead in the water, and then you have this extra energy from, oh my God, we're out of it, and now we're ahead.

Speaker 2 You could, that's why we love politics. Yeah.
It's so unpredictable.

Speaker 6 And they're totally shocked by it, too. I mean, the way we are, as reporters, is we're kind of measuring and seeing what's going on and just learning and talking to people.
They feel that too.

Speaker 6 I mean, they're just as shocked as we are that this actually happened and that they did coalesce behind a candidate and that they are where they were this week in Chicago.

Speaker 6 I think as far as terms of, I mean, the conventions are never surprising anymore. They used to actually be,

Speaker 6 you know, you didn't know what the outcome was going to be.

Speaker 6 But in modern times, that you've always kind of known they're just highly produced affairs. And so they're both well-produced.
I think the Republican Convention and the Democratic Convention.

Speaker 6 But there was just kind of this energy to the Democratic Convention: we didn't know this was going to happen.

Speaker 6 And they weren't taking it for granted, was kind of the vibe that I got from the delegates that I talked to.

Speaker 2 What do you think about the fact that Kamala doesn't talk to the press? In a way, I feel like it's more insulting

Speaker 2 than what Trump does. Trump says you're the enemy of the people, which is pretty bad.
But she's kind of saying is, I don't need you.

Speaker 2 And I'm not talking to you. You don't matter.
You're not relevant anymore. To me, that's even worse than I hate you.
It's like I don't think about you.

Speaker 6 I don't know if it's worse than denigrating the press on a daily basis, which is what Donald Trump did. I mean, I covered him in the White House every day as a correspondent.

Speaker 6 And, you know, oftentimes to kind of

Speaker 6 shake you if you were asking him a question, he would try to get into a personal argument with you or just deny or lie about what you were asking about. And so I don't know if I would compare the two.

Speaker 6 I do think she should talk to the press. I think anyone who wants to have access to the nuclear codes should be willing to sit down and take questions.
And

Speaker 2 we want to have her on the show.

Speaker 2 I'd love to too, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Speaker 6 We'll see who gets her first.

Speaker 2 Well, I think she'll do you before she does me, but.

Speaker 2 Oh, Stop.

Speaker 2 Stop.

Speaker 2 You started it.

Speaker 2 I paid her, actually. But I mean,

Speaker 2 I mean, you made press because you were on Stephen Colbert's show, and he said something like,

Speaker 2 you guys at CNN just report the news straight, and the crowd burst into laughter.

Speaker 2 Look, I'm on CNN now. I guess we're on it right now.

Speaker 2 I mean, they show this show the next night.

Speaker 2 I don't know how we get away with it, with all the fucks, but they do.

Speaker 2 And all these dirty jokes.

Speaker 2 But I'm glad. And I'm a big rooter for CNN.

Speaker 2 But that tells you a lot, doesn't it? I mean, how do you guys think you are doing in that arena of like, this is a terribly divided country. We're not only politicized.

Speaker 2 A lot of people just hate the other side. And CNN, in my view, should be the place where both sides can watch.
How do you think you're doing with that?

Speaker 6 How is CNN the place where both sides can watch? And I think, you know, my show is evidence of that. We have lawmakers on from both parties.
We'll have Elizabeth Warren on one night.

Speaker 6 We'll have Ted Cruz on another night. I think lawmakers from both parties should take questions and you should push both of them.
But

Speaker 6 on CNN being a place of credibility, I mean, look at what just happened in Chicago. We had 300 people from CNN on the ground covering that convention.

Speaker 6 There were several reporters from just our team alone on the floor, bringing it in real time to people.

Speaker 6 And I think CNN puts resources behind things and just brings a level of news that you don't get anywhere else. And I think CNN does.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I'm talking about the people on CNN. And I know what the conservative side of America thinks, and I don't blame them.
I watched Carmela's speech last night.

Speaker 2 It ended at 8.09, I guess, 11.09 in the East.

Speaker 2 It wasn't until 1123 till

Speaker 2 the one conservative guy, what's his name? Scott Jennings. Lonely Scott, I call him.

Speaker 6 David Urban was there too.

Speaker 2 Wait a second, wait a second.

Speaker 2 From 8.09 to 823, they were just gushing.

Speaker 2 about how great a speech it was. And I think she did fine.
I didn't think it was as good as they were making it out to be.

Speaker 2 But if I'm a conservative in America and I'm watching CNN just for the straight middle of the road, that's what I hear for 15 minutes, is it's great. And then Lonely Scott.

Speaker 2 It does look, I mean, and when you see the path, it does look like tokenism. It's kind of like the same as the view.

Speaker 2 It's like it's almost better to have nobody there, like MSNBC, than to have just the.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 6 I don't think you could say it's better to have nobody there and then also lament the fact that you don't think the conservative guy, Scott Jennings, who is great and we have him on my show all the time, spoke up early enough.

Speaker 6 I think it was a Democratic convention. They turned to Democrats, people like David Axelrod, who ran successful presidential Democratic campaigns first, for their analysis of this.

Speaker 6 And I don't think that you can say that CNN is anything but fair. I mean, look at that, we covered President Biden's exit from the race very closely.

Speaker 6 closely the pressure on him to get out and I feel like I can speak with authority on this.

Speaker 2 I'm from Alabama.

Speaker 6 I'm from a very red state. I have a very conservative family.
A lot of them who are Trump voters, they watch my show every night. And I think they know that

Speaker 6 they can trust me, that we call bullshit on every side, not just whatever leaning our audience may be.

Speaker 6 And I think that's something that people actually want more of, is to hear from that. I think Scott's voice is really important, but I think other voices are important to hear from.

Speaker 6 And everyone who was speaking last night, it's not like they were all Democrats. I mean, Dana Bash, Jake Tapper, Abby Phillip, all my amazing colleagues

Speaker 2 giving analysis. They come across that way.
In a moment like that, it was like five to one. It always looks like five to one.
Okay, I'll move on.

Speaker 2 But I feel like in this era we're in, until Donald Trump goes away, which could be never,

Speaker 2 the important thing for a network like CNN is to be able to talk about Donald Trump, which is so difficult because he is awful. There's no two ways about it.

Speaker 2 He is an awful person and a terrible person to be running the country. Okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 2 How do you

Speaker 2 but if you just say that, half the country turns off. I saw the town hall you did with him.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now, I don't know who was in that audience,

Speaker 2 rather I should say I don't know how they picked that audience, but whoever was in that audience loved them from Donald Trump.

Speaker 6 Republicans like Donald Trump. That is a factor of the Roman colour.

Speaker 2 Was that a Republican audience?

Speaker 2 I mean, they said it was an independent and Republican audience.

Speaker 6 No, because, well, the timing is important. That town hall was done in May 2023 ahead of the Republican primary.
And of course, we knew a lot of Republicans were expected to get in.

Speaker 6 And so you're not going to put Democrats in the audience because it's for Republican primaries in New Hampshire.

Speaker 6 So it was Republican and Republican-leaning independents because those are the people who decided who was going to be the Republican nominee.

Speaker 6 And I think it was jarring for people because they hadn't really heard a lot from Donald Trump.

Speaker 6 That was his first first major interview that he had done besides Fox News since he left the White House.

Speaker 6 And I just think, you know, as a journalist, my view of it, one, I'm only in charge of the questions that I asked and the follow-ups that we asked him, which I think we did a very good job of that night.

Speaker 6 But I think, you know, if you think not putting Trump on TV is going to make Trump.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is I watched that, that you did do a good job. You held his feet to the fire.
But the crowd loved him.

Speaker 2 It didn't matter that he was spewing bullshit. He He always spews bullshit.
They loved him.

Speaker 6 But that's representative of America.

Speaker 6 Republicans do love him, and they may very well be.

Speaker 2 But then they cut to the panel where it's like five people shitting on him.

Speaker 2 So they just saw like 90 minutes of this guy saying things, people loving him, and then five people who look like elitists because they're, oh, you don't get it.

Speaker 2 You see, you don't get what we like about him.

Speaker 6 Well, I think two things can be true.

Speaker 6 I think people can like Donald Trump and maybe not care about the veracity of his statements or what he promises to do and whether or not he fulfills that or changes his position on it.

Speaker 6 And I think you can have people

Speaker 6 talk about that and analyze it after. I don't think that those two things can exist together.

Speaker 2 Okay, so can I ask you one last thing about

Speaker 2 it's interesting the way

Speaker 2 certain memes take over in this culture now? And

Speaker 2 Brat.

Speaker 2 What do you think about this? Somehow, Kamala got to be Brat.

Speaker 2 And really?

Speaker 6 Are you jealous?

Speaker 2 I'm not.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I want you to read, I'll read what Charlie XEX herself said about it.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 I'll ask you first

Speaker 2 what your opinion on this. Was that a smart move to embrace that? What does Bratt mean to you?

Speaker 6 Is it smart for the Harris campaign to embrace it? Yeah. I mean, I think at a time when everyone wants young voters who historically don't turn out in large numbers, they're leaning into it.

Speaker 6 And it was a moment, I don't think everyone on the Harris campaign, or certainly not in the White House, fully understood Bratt either. It's not really Washington's strong suit.

Speaker 6 I lived there for close to a decade. But I think they leaned into it in a sense of how does it appeal to young voters? And if older voters don't get it, it doesn't.
It's not a big deal.

Speaker 6 But I think anything that campaigns can do to reach out to young people, Trump is doing this.

Speaker 6 He does a lot of podcasts, people that maybe most people haven't heard of, but he's trying, his campaign, I've talked to them, they're trying to reach that same subset of voters, obviously different leanings,

Speaker 6 but I think that's how they're trying to go out and meet young people where they are, whether it's a meme or a podcast that somebody.

Speaker 2 This is how she herself defines it, Charlie. That girl who is a little messy and likes to party and maybe says some dumb things sometimes,

Speaker 2 who feels herself, but maybe also has a breakdown.

Speaker 2 Are you identifying with this? How are you feeling? I'm saying I don't want my president to be

Speaker 2 but kind of like parties through it, a little bit volatile, like does dumb things. It sounds like Trump.
It doesn't sound like

Speaker 6 you think Trump is Brat?

Speaker 2 I think he's very Brat. I think you're great.
Thank you for coming on our show. All right.
Great to see you. I wish there was another convention.
We could see you again. Taiton Collins, everybody.

Speaker 2 All right, let's meet our panel.

Speaker 2 Hey, you guys. All right, who co-hosts the Politics War Room with Al Hunt's podcast and is the subject of a new documentary, Carville? Winning is everything stupid coming out this fall.

Speaker 2 James Carville is over here.

Speaker 2 All right, and here's a Republican congressman who represents Texas's second district and the host of the podcast, Hold These Truths with Dan Crenshaw. Dan Crenshaw, back with me.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Congressman.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 So Democratic convention, let's start with the Democrat. I think, James, you and I have been on the same page for a while on this.
One, we said Biden had to go for a long time

Speaker 2 on our way there. And the other thing I think we've been pretty aligned on is that the Democrats do better when they're center-left and not far-left.

Speaker 2 Certainly. It's better policy, and it wins elections.
Right.

Speaker 2 How do you think they did their convention with convincing the country that they are now back to the center left as opposed to the far left?

Speaker 2 Well, Provo, you and I agreed, but that was one tough extraction getting Biden out of the race.

Speaker 2 We brought in the head of all surgery at UCLA, Nancy Pelosi.

Speaker 2 You and I were like a couple of hygienists like hacking away at it.

Speaker 2 Dr. Nancy came in and did it.

Speaker 2 And our country wanted something different. And the Democrats, they weren't looking for ethnic cleansing.
They weren't looking for a war. They weren't looking for a new entitlement.

Speaker 2 The country wanted something different than Trump and Biden, and we gave it to them. And I'm not surprised the country's responding favorably.
I really not.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I thought that, for one thing, they sounded like they liked America,

Speaker 2 which

Speaker 2 has been a problem with the left in recent years.

Speaker 2 They didn't sound like they liked America too much. And this convention, I heard a lot of it.
You're lucky to be an American. You're privileged.
It's the greatest country in the world.

Speaker 2 Like, thank you. Did you hear that, Congressman? Did you feel like that was sincere?

Speaker 7 I will never criticize Democrats for putting on a good show. I will never criticize Democrats for being good at politics.
What I criticize Democrats for is being bad at policy and governing.

Speaker 7 They put on a great show. They got those celebrities in there.
They dusted off those American flags that they had previously held in the attic or burned occasionally.

Speaker 7 And then they brought them out for that freedom wave. Very few.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 7 the Democrat activists burned down the cities.

Speaker 7 As members of Congress, just a few weeks ago, we had to go put American flags back up over Union Station in Washington, D.C. They put on a good show.
Everything's full of hope and joy, and I get it.

Speaker 7 Like, that's great. Starry-eyed views of optimism of the future.
But on policy, not so great. And in the end, this is going to be about policy.
They were very light on that. Why?

Speaker 7 Because they don't want to contend with the fact that they own the last four years of policy.

Speaker 7 We do have a very unique opportunity here where we have two candidates where you can look at four years and four years.

Speaker 7 You know exactly what they're going to do and you know exactly what the outcomes are. And on every metric, Donald Trump wins on this.

Speaker 7 And so that's what we're going to keep pushing this election toward is what are the metrics that will actually make your life better, Donald Trump wins on this, on the policy and the outcomes associated with that.

Speaker 2 I don't want to chief sign here by so I'm not going to mention January 6th and burning flags and anything like that because that just never happened.

Speaker 2 By the way, you know they have a celebration of them on September the 5th. Trump's celebrating the J-6 people.

Speaker 2 I thought my boss, President Clinton, made an undeniable point of Democratic policy.

Speaker 2 Since the start, end of the Cold War, there have been 51 million jobs created in the United States. 50 million were created under Democratic presidents and 1 million under Republican presidents.

Speaker 2 You know, that's a 50 to 1.

Speaker 7 You've got to be able to tie.

Speaker 2 If you're going to have things like that, that's a. First of all.

Speaker 2 I love you. I love Clinton.
It's a bullshit thing to say.

Speaker 2 Because as we both know,

Speaker 2 well, am I right? Yeah, as we both know, jobs created, it has a lot to do with what the last guy did. Clinton got rid of Glass-Steagall.
Did it

Speaker 2 have anything to do with the collapse in 2008 of the economy? I think it did. So maybe some of the jobs that were lost.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 It's just a bullshit thing to say.

Speaker 7 I don't think it is, but you've got to tie a policy to an outcome. All right, I can tie policies from Donald Trump to outcomes.
So you cut taxes, you cut regulations, what does that do?

Speaker 7 It makes it easier to do business and hire people. So you're going to have job growth.
You had 8% wage increase after inflation under Donald Trump before the pandemic.

Speaker 7 Actually, 16% if you're talking about the lowest quintile of earners. Under Biden, it's been zero.

Speaker 7 So on every metric, he wins, and I can go down the list.

Speaker 2 I guess that the crime is down 30%, the stock market is up.

Speaker 2 The metrics that y'all choose are just BS metrics. No, I choose metrics.
Again, let me, not all of them, just that one. Let me check.
Just that one. I choose that.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't even agree that.

Speaker 2 But it's a bullshit number. I would agree the Democrats have done a better job at job creation, but it's not 50 to 1.
So don't lie to me. You know what?

Speaker 2 I'm an ally to you listen. Police fact check.
Either Bill is right or I'm right.

Speaker 2 But the numbers don't necessarily mean.

Speaker 2 But it's 50 to 1. You know, you understand what Biden is.

Speaker 7 We're the lowest unemployment in 50 years under Trump. And again, you have to associate an outcome with policies.
And you can't tell me what Biden policy resulted in better jobs.

Speaker 7 If we're increasing our jobs,

Speaker 2 there was a pandemic that had a lot to do with that.

Speaker 7 There's a massive increase in the future.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of factors that go into it. It's a budget thing.
Again, let's move on.

Speaker 2 Let me ask you about.

Speaker 2 You famous aid said something about the Democratic Party used to be dominated by preachy females. I did.

Speaker 2 Okay. So, where are we?

Speaker 2 And I think you should get a Cahone Award for that.

Speaker 2 But okay.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 where are we now with that?

Speaker 2 Kamala is not.

Speaker 2 I say things, Bill, if I tell Maureen down to them, I know what I'm saying. And I'm being provocative

Speaker 2 on purpose because the identity left and the NPR messaging drives us in a ditch every time. And I'll tell you why I was right.
When they picked Tim Waltz,

Speaker 2 this guy is the most male guy that could come up with, a soldier, a football coach, a hunter. All right, Minnesota,

Speaker 2 Paul Bunyan, you name it.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 our presentation,

Speaker 2 it wasn't issues, it was all about presentation.

Speaker 2 And I think there's a recognition of that, and to the extent that if I say something provocative, that he can come after me. Don't vote for me.

Speaker 2 But I do think that our messaging had become too feminine. I do.
I'll stand by it. And I get your point about Tim Woltz.
He kind of makes the case that you can be a man without being a dick about it.

Speaker 2 Which is

Speaker 2 truly, I think, a problem that Republicans have.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 7 I don't know how you can say that the Democrat Party has become too feminine when they don't even know what a woman is.

Speaker 7 So,

Speaker 7 but what the Democrat Party has become is far more extreme.

Speaker 7 And the Democrats say this about Republicans, but you provide no evidence for it.

Speaker 2 But the Democratic Party.

Speaker 7 The party platform has basically been the same for decades. The Democrat platform has changed radically since the US.

Speaker 2 But it's commonly referred to as the Democratic Party. That's the name by the party.
Okay, I just want to be clear.

Speaker 2 The other thing is, we always get advice from Republicans. You realize you hadn't won an election in two years.
Not a single one. I wonder what's wrong.

Speaker 2 And you have all these people giving the Democrat Party advice. Well, come win an election and then come here and give me some advice.
I'll give you advice.

Speaker 2 Last thing I want to do is give you good advice. But

Speaker 2 my observation is...

Speaker 7 You're correct. Republicans are bad at selling good policy.
Democrats are very good at selling bad policy. Democrats have gotten way more extreme, way more extreme than the American people.

Speaker 7 If you want an honest discussion about who's more moderate, if there's independents out there looking for a more moderate candidate on every issue, you're actually looking for Donald Trump.

Speaker 7 You may not like his crass tweets. I'm telling you, I'll go toe-to-toe with you on any issue on this.

Speaker 7 It's very easy for me to show you that.

Speaker 2 I'm not... I'm not going to argue with you.
Just say it's 50%. It's so I'm right.
Okay. So I'm right.

Speaker 2 And we win every election.

Speaker 2 Can we do a

Speaker 2 experiment?

Speaker 2 Can I read something and you tell me where this came from?

Speaker 7 If you think we've gotten so extreme and it's the other guys who are so tolerant and normal, okay, I'm going to ask you what year this came from. This is a policy platform.

Speaker 7 We cannot tolerate illegal immigration. For years, Washington talked tough but failed to act.

Speaker 7 Criminal immigrants deported after committing crimes in America returned the very next day to commit crimes again.

Speaker 7 On government, this is what our party stands for, the end of the era of big government. The American people don't want big government.

Speaker 7 They want a government that gives a moderate, common sense agenda that will improve people's daily lives, not increase the size of government. There's a lot more.

Speaker 7 Where do you think that's a good question?

Speaker 2 That was Brooklyn before he, when he was out foxing Newt Gingrich and making the Republicans looking at the platform in 1996. Well, you let me know when I can talk, okay? I know you're a

Speaker 2 D4, I'm an E4. Let me know when I can talk.

Speaker 2 All right? I need recognition.

Speaker 2 Again, let me know when I can talk. That's good.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Now, the truth of the matter is, immigrants commit less crime than native-born Americans. That's a fact.
Just like it's 5-1.

Speaker 2 The thing about this world is, people can see if what you're saying is right.

Speaker 2 And to tell you the truth,

Speaker 2 I like migrant people.

Speaker 2 I just kind of do. I think they're kind of hardworking.
I think they contribute a bucket load to the American economy. I think they tend to enlist in armed forces at a higher rate than other people.

Speaker 2 So I'm very, very pro-immigration. I really am.

Speaker 2 So are you.

Speaker 7 But I would hope you would also say you're against illegal immigration, because if you're pro-legal immigration, all these hardworking people, which I agree, my stepmother's a legal immigrant,

Speaker 7 I don't want people cutting in front of them in line, which is what happens when you allow an open border. Eight million illegal encounters under buying a quarter of them released into the country.

Speaker 7 That is very disproportionately unfair to legal immigrants trying to do what they're like.

Speaker 2 I will make the point.

Speaker 2 Border Crossing.

Speaker 2 are down.

Speaker 2 And by the way, Senator Langford, hardly up,

Speaker 2 I know him, he's hardly a left-wing Democrat, and Senator Murphy, had a bill that was endorsed by the Board of Patrol, and Trump killed it. Okay, that's fine.
Right.

Speaker 2 But that's just where we are. And

Speaker 2 I love migrant people. I'm just going to tell you that right now.
If you're in this country and you come in, you work hard.

Speaker 2 That's right. But I mean, you yourself.
I'm not the incoming criminal.

Speaker 2 You yourself was on this page. I mean, they had the bill.
That guy who wrote it, Lankford, he's a conservative Republican. You yourself spoke on this.

Speaker 2 Trump killed that bill because he didn't want the issue to work against him in the election. That's your boyfriend.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean,

Speaker 2 you got to defend that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well.

Speaker 7 First, I have to tell you what I actually said about it. Like, so what I said about that bill before it even got released was, hey, let's read it.

Speaker 7 Anybody who has an opinion on it without reading it, you know, it's kind of stupid. That's what I said, and I stand by that.
What happened with that bill is a lot more complicated.

Speaker 7 You had a very complex bill written in a dark room. They come out, you've got this extremely

Speaker 7 immigration law, it is very complicated, and everyone turned their guns on it.

Speaker 2 That's a revision of what you said.

Speaker 2 You said it was a good bill, and you have a lot of grifters in your party. You didn't want it pet.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you did. We can fact-check this.

Speaker 7 I never got a chance to have an opinion on it. That's the problem.
And I stand by that.

Speaker 2 That's how I read it.

Speaker 2 What I said was, it's foolish.

Speaker 7 I'll tell you exactly what I I said. It was the height of stupidity to have an opinion on something you haven't read yet.
And none of us had read it yet. Now, there's more complexities to that.

Speaker 7 And I think the cynical people were rightfully cynical, saying, why are you coming up with this in the last year of your administration?

Speaker 7 We had a height of 300,000 illegal crossings just a few months ago. Oh, because you know it's a campaign issue now.

Speaker 7 Why don't you first start with putting back in place all of Trump's executive orders that had gotten the border down under control, down to 14,000 illegal crossings a month, which is pretty much well within

Speaker 2 wrote in the bill that you were for until Trump wanted killed. Anyway, I got to move on because

Speaker 2 we have so many issues to get to, and one of them is

Speaker 2 it's funny how like, you know, sometimes a single word will encapsulate the campaign. I remember when Obama ran, all the posters just said, hope.

Speaker 2 And now, it's funny, the word in this election, weird.

Speaker 2 That's how Tim Walls got to be the vice president. Everybody, he changed the narrative to like, Trump is not a threat to democracy.
He's just going to ruin your weekend. He's weird.
We're still weird.

Speaker 2 But I kept thinking, you know, Trump is weird. Everybody's weird to a degree, but there is one guy in this race who's actually really weird.
And that's the guy who pulled out today, Robert F.

Speaker 2 Kennedy Jr. And I like Bobby a lot.

Speaker 2 But I just want to read, I mean, these are...

Speaker 2 These are actual headlines in recent days. RFK Jr.
says worm got into my brain and ate a portion of it.

Speaker 2 That's weird. RFK Jr.
denies eating a dog but not assaulting nanny.

Speaker 2 RFK Jr. admits to dumping a dead bear in Central Park, solving a decade-old mystery.
That one is weird. RFK Jr.
says he once had a freezer full of roadkill meat. And these are the real headlines.

Speaker 2 But of course, those aren't the only ones. Would you like to see the other ones that

Speaker 2 we can do?

Speaker 2 RFK Jr. claims he's the first presidential candidate who can blow himself.

Speaker 2 RFK Jr. campaign pledge, the supply of falcon to every child in need.

Speaker 2 That's good.

Speaker 2 RFK Jr. claims JFK had a fair with Marilyn Manson.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Releases his campaign autobiography, Shit My Ass Says.

Speaker 2 RFK Jr. claims Beatles Revolution 9 contains the backwards message, vaccines cause autism.
Well, that's just weird.

Speaker 2 RFK Jr. reveals he once led an expedition to the Titanic in the Wiener Mobile.

Speaker 2 AFK Jr. confesses to once going to bathroom on pigeon saying it was payback.

Speaker 2 That's so weird.

Speaker 2 And he announces his new podcast, Club Extremely Random. All right.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 this

Speaker 2 just broke today.

Speaker 2 RFK is pulling out, although it's a little murky. He says he's still on the ballot in some places, but but he did say I am giving my endorsement to Donald Trump.

Speaker 2 I think it's a good idea. I mean, take it.
I'd take it. I'll take it too.

Speaker 2 For those of us who are a certain age, who grew up with the Kennedys, I mean, to have a Kennedy endorse not just any Republican, but the worst one ever,

Speaker 2 what do we make of this, gentlemen?

Speaker 2 Well, you know, every family has

Speaker 2 whatever.

Speaker 2 That guy is not weird.

Speaker 2 There's something that, there's an expression you use in yours, that boy ain't right.

Speaker 2 Okay?

Speaker 2 There's something way, it's weird.

Speaker 7 You're weird.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 that's nothing wrong with being weird. But that boy ain't right.
He just did something wrong. He hit his head or something.
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't go.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't go that far.

Speaker 2 I would. Okay.

Speaker 2 So let me ask you about the tone of some of the speeches in the convention. I thought the Obamas were great.

Speaker 2 Like a lot of people.

Speaker 2 It

Speaker 2 made me miss Obama as being president.

Speaker 2 He said, if we want to win over those who aren't yet ready to support our candidates, we need to listen to their concerns and maybe learn something.

Speaker 2 See, this is something that was missing, I think, for a very long time.

Speaker 2 And he is the one in the party who has the gravitas to say this to his own people, to gently scold them for being a little, you know, too purifying. He said,

Speaker 2 after all, if a parent or a grandparent occasionally says something, it makes us cringe, we don't automatically assume they're bad people.

Speaker 2 We recognize that the world is moving fast, they need time maybe, and a little encouragement to catch up. I loved it.
I also see how your people hear things like,

Speaker 2 need time to catch up.

Speaker 2 Well, I find that to be very condescending.

Speaker 7 A lot of my people aren't listening to the speech, but what we are listening to is

Speaker 7 what we are listening to is what Kamala Harris has said when she's running for president, and then what has happened in the last four years in a Kamala Harris and President Biden administration.

Speaker 7 So we have really hard facts to go off of, and we know what kind of extremist policies to expect. So Biden is one version of that, but Kamala is actually way further.

Speaker 7 She ran to the left of President Biden. She was for the Green New Deal.
She's for Medicare for all.

Speaker 7 She's for not jailing illegal immigrants. She says they shouldn't be jailed.
They should get free health care. Maybe that's what Tim Walls brought to the table because he can provide that for them.

Speaker 7 Therefore,

Speaker 7 allowing a 12-year-old girl to get a double mastectomy without telling her parents and calling it

Speaker 7 gender affirmation therapy. These are very extreme policies.
And every, and you can, I'll go toe-to-toe with you on every single one.

Speaker 7 In every single case, the Trump administration is more moderate and more in line with what more people want in America, and the outcomes are just better.

Speaker 2 Well, yes.

Speaker 2 Vladimir Putin, okay, he's moderate. Let's pull out a NATO.
That's really moderate. Project 2025, that's really moderate.
I mean, but we can go.

Speaker 2 The truth of the matter is, in 2019, she listened to the identity left, and that always ends up a disaster. And

Speaker 2 she's evolved, to say the least. And she'll be asked about it, and I think she'll have a lot of people.
Okay, so she's either a far leftist or a chameleon liar. I don't know.
You know, sometimes.

Speaker 2 Wait a second.

Speaker 2 Everybody tacks to the middle. Everybody, as Mitt Romney said, shakes the etcher sketch.
And by the way, it's a little odd, isn't it, that the Republicans had no former presidents, vice presidents.

Speaker 2 There was no Mitt Romney there, no Bush, no Dick Cheney. It's a little like Tom Cruise with his daughter.
You know, I don't know you anymore.

Speaker 2 I mean... I sure understand that reference.

Speaker 2 Right? I don't know if I know that reference. Well, I mean, Tom Cruise never sees his daughter because she's a suppressed person, because, you know, whatever, she doesn't believe in Scientology.

Speaker 2 And I feel like I've never seen a convention where the party just disowned its complete past like that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, well, again, it doesn't really matter. Do we put on the best show? I don't know.
I know we have better policies that have better outputs.

Speaker 2 It's an indication that you have made a clean cut with what Republicanism was up until Trump.

Speaker 2 skip through the clapping,

Speaker 7 but I can show you party platforms going back decades that show basically the same Republican Party to include this Republican platform. You're talking about Project 2025.

Speaker 7 Trump disowned that right away. You know who? The only person, the only politician with Project 2025 on their website is Kamala Harris.
None of us actually know what that is.

Speaker 7 It came from a think tank. They wrote a big thing.

Speaker 2 Whatever.

Speaker 7 A lot of that Trump already disowned. What you can hold us our feet to the fire on is what's actually in the party platform.

Speaker 7 And as a congressman, what you can hold my feet to to the fire on is what I actually vote on in Congress.

Speaker 7 If you want to know what Republicans are going to do with power, just look at the last two years. We've had control of the House.
That's what we do.

Speaker 7 One of the first bills we put in was the Parental Bill of Rights because we didn't like parents being labeled as terrorists. The second bill we did was H.R.
2, the immigration bill.

Speaker 7 That would fix the border. That was a serious look at closing the loopholes on paroling, on asylum reform, the things that need to get done to fix the border.

Speaker 7 If you want to know what we actually stand for, that's what we stand for. When it comes to abortion, which everybody wants to talk about, the only thing we've put on the floor is the Born Alive bill.

Speaker 7 We've only ever gotten a couple Democrats to vote for that. So who's more extreme? We're just saying don't kill the baby if it's been born.
That's all we're saying.

Speaker 2 Democrats are like not to think about it. I don't want to go.
Look at the abortion plank and every Republican platform from 1964 on. But I really don't want to argue this.

Speaker 2 You know, sometimes people's position evolve. You realize that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in 2008 were both against gay marriage.
Yeah. Now, who in the hell is against gay marriage now? Nobody.

Speaker 2 Okay. Well,

Speaker 2 10 Project 2025. Well yeah, okay.
Well, okay.

Speaker 2 And by the way, the Speaker of the House, who is from Boza Parish, Benton, Louisa, had to tell the Republican caucus to cut out the racial crap.

Speaker 2 Now, when a guy from Bozer Parish has to tell you to cut out the racial crap,

Speaker 2 that's pretty extreme. We got to tell members of Congress to stay off of that issue.

Speaker 7 But if your best argument is that personalities have changed, it's not a really good argument. Because in the end, what affects you, the viewer at home, is the policies that are put in place.

Speaker 7 It's the the taxes you pay, it's the regulations your business has to deal with, it's the border that you face, it's crime, it's everything.

Speaker 7 And it's, by the way, it's a world that's on fire that wasn't under Trump.

Speaker 2 But since you're in the world, you can say

Speaker 2 it's on fire.

Speaker 2 I can assure you that the world is on fire. Okay, Putin didn't invade Ukraine under Trump.
Again, I'm not.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to argue that.

Speaker 2 Wait, the world can't be on fire, and we're all full of joy at the same time.

Speaker 2 That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 Under Trump they have the Abraham Accords under Biden eager October 10th Britain because you're pleasing Iran.

Speaker 7 It is a very different situation. The metrics just don't lie.

Speaker 2 Can I just

Speaker 2 say a thing about this?

Speaker 2 Can I say a thing about this Project 2025? Because this is apparently the, if you just watch the left wing, this is apparently the platform of the Republican Party. I thought it was.

Speaker 2 I saw Keenan do a very funny bit about it. But when I looked at it a little further, okay, this is Trump.
This is Trump on Project 2025. Like the day it came out.

Speaker 2 Some of the things they're saying are absolutely ridiculous and abysmal. Well, I couldn't ask for a better statement about it from a Democrat.
So there's that.

Speaker 2 Then again, okay, here are some of the main things in it. Gay protections are going to be over.
He's not going to do that. Trump is not going to do that.

Speaker 2 He don't hate gay people, and he loves Peter Thiel. Okay, that's not going to happen.

Speaker 2 Pay more for prescription drugs. Yeah, that could happen under Trump.

Speaker 2 Abortion ban. Yeah, that could happen under Trump.
Purge the civil service. That's definitely going to happen under Trump.

Speaker 2 And eliminate the Department of Education. Well, I wouldn't eliminate them.
But how about a little accountability? Yeah.

Speaker 2 There is some agreement there, it sounds like. I mean, this.

Speaker 7 A couple of those, though, Trump has already disowned. I mean, abortion ban at the federal level.
Trump has very, very clearly said he doesn't want to do that.

Speaker 7 That should be decided at the state level. So that's not going to happen.
And again,

Speaker 7 if you want further proof of what Republicans believe, just look at what we actually put on the floor.

Speaker 7 The most restrictive abortion thing we've ever put on the floor is the Born Alive Bill, which just says you can't kill a baby in a botched abortion if it's still alive outside the womb.

Speaker 7 Democrats overwhelmingly vote against that, except for like a couple. Why is that funny?

Speaker 2 I mean, it's true. That's what we do.

Speaker 7 And so that's just not part of our platform.

Speaker 2 Does the other side get to play here?

Speaker 2 So ask Trump one question. There's a referendum in Florida on a six-week abortion ban.
How are you going to vote on it? Just tell us. You're a resident of Florida.

Speaker 2 The Republican Party of Florida has passed this. That is the law of Florida.
I'm sorry. It's an absolute ban after six weeks.
Most women don't even know they're pregnant in six weeks.

Speaker 2 How are you going to vote on it? Well, what's the contradiction you think it is? We can suck and dive all we want.

Speaker 2 How would you vote on that six weeks? That is the issue.

Speaker 7 Well, that's easy for me. I mean, I'd definitely vote for it.

Speaker 7 But at the federal level, the party platform is we don't do that from the federal side. You think it's a contradiction, but it's not.

Speaker 2 States rights are not.

Speaker 2 If you live in Florida and there's a six-week ban, you live under that. But remember in Ohio's a red state, and what did they do?

Speaker 7 They put it into their Constitution that you have a right to abortion.

Speaker 2 But they put it in the Constitution because the voters said the Republican politicians. The democracy.
Look at that. Okay.

Speaker 2 And so you would vote to maintain the six-week ban.

Speaker 2 I'm a conservative Republican. Look at that.

Speaker 2 But this issue, this is what lost the Republicans the 2022 midterms, and it's going to lose them

Speaker 2 this 2024.

Speaker 2 That is my prediction.

Speaker 2 I would not have believed it a month ago. I mean, a month ago, right after he got shot by the incel, I mean, it was like over.

Speaker 7 That's an accurate way of describing him.

Speaker 2 Well, right. I mean,

Speaker 2 they were measuring the drapes. I mean, it just shows how fast things change, which is why I would say, like, this two-month election we're having with Karma, we should do that every time.

Speaker 2 Catch up, politics. The world moves much faster now.
All right, we've got to get our new rules. Thank you, guys.
All right.

Speaker 2 Okay, New Roll, the New Zealand man complaining that he went into surgery for a partial circumcision, but they ended up giving him a full circumcision, has to answer two questions.

Speaker 2 What the hell is a partial circumcision?

Speaker 4 That was my question.

Speaker 2 And two, if you were so dissatisfied, why did you leave such a big tip?

Speaker 2 Nural, before the 2024 election season launches into the final stretch, Kamala Harris and Tim Walls have to tell us what's so fucking funny.

Speaker 2 Because at this point, I don't want to

Speaker 2 share your vision of America. I want you to share whatever it is you're smoking before the rally.

Speaker 2 New Roll, someone must explain how a society that knows how to create AI, design driverless cars, and land rockets on distant planets, has no idea what to do with a broken chair.

Speaker 2 We can replicate the power of the sun in a lab, but if a spring pops on a bark of lounger, fuck it, leave it on the sidewalk.

Speaker 2 Broken chairs get kicked to the curb faster than Joe Biden.

Speaker 2 Neural, now that Cheken warlord Razman Kadyarov has attached a machine gun to a Tesla cybertruck, LA residents must admit, we're torn.

Speaker 2 Part of us thinks it's a symbol of Russia's descent into crude totalitarianism, and part of us thinks, ooh, this would really make the commute sweep.

Speaker 2 Neural, the 58-year-old Australian woman currently on trial for making a porn video where she was having sex with a trout

Speaker 2 has to apologize to every guy on Match.com whose profile picture is him doing this.

Speaker 2 But honey, don't give up on online dating. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

Speaker 2 And finally, new rule: the Republican ticket of Trump and Vance can say what it wants about Mexicans, Muslims, journalists, sharks, windmills, low-float toilets, the FBI, Britney Griner, and me.

Speaker 2 But for the love of God, leave childless cat ladies out of it.

Speaker 2 While we were off last month, America got to know Donald Trump's new piss boy, Andrew Dice Vance,

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 2 VP candidate who has now reopened the question at the very foundation of the Republican Party. Bitch, why ain't you pregnant?

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 So the biggest threat to America now is not a nuclear-armed Iran or $35 trillion in debt or another leaky lab in China. It's cat ladies.

Speaker 2 Vance says the country is being run by them. In 2020, he said not having kids makes people more sociopathic and less mentally stable.

Speaker 2 And the people who are most deranged and most psychotic are people who don't have kids. Have you met your running mate?

Speaker 2 He's got five kids and he's out of his fucking mind. And again, it's 2024 and you're still saying that people who don't marry and raise kids are inferior weirdos.
Thanks, Phyllis Shafley.

Speaker 2 Let me check my beeper to see if 1993 called.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 1993, that's the year I went on the air with my first show, Politically Incorrect.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 one of the themes that made that show different and, you know, incorrect was that the host was always pushing back against the idea that choosing to remain childless and single your whole life was, to say the least, odd.

Speaker 2 Well, now that there have been a thousand think pieces standing up for the childless, I'd just like to say, I was barren before it was cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I've been on this wall.

Speaker 2 So just as there's nothing wrong with marriage as an institution, there is nothing wrong with being single either.

Speaker 2 As a single person, I pay thousands in local taxes to support my neighborhood schools when I have no kids at all.

Speaker 2 But if I spend just a few hours hanging around the Barbizon School of Design, suddenly I'm a stranger, I'm dating inappropriately, I'm resisting arrest.

Speaker 2 I can't believe it's 30 years later. And here I am still having to defend not having kids.
But okay, hear this, Mr. Vance.
One,

Speaker 2 you sure think about other people's pussies a lot.

Speaker 2 And two,

Speaker 2 having kids isn't a triumph. It's just a choice.
It's morally neutral. I personally think it's really stupid when parents say, my kid is my hero.

Speaker 2 But what I really hate is when they say, I'm a hero because I had a kid. No, you didn't raise the flag at Iwo Jima, the condom broke.

Speaker 2 You can shed out spawn until the sun explodes. That doesn't make you a better citizen than the people who don't.
And by the way, the joke's on you, Republicans.

Speaker 2 Have all the babies you want, we'll just keep eating them.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 you know, Mr. Vance, I often say on this show, let's live in the year we're living in.

Speaker 2 And when I do, it's a critique of the far left, who think it makes them more virtuous to never acknowledge the incredible

Speaker 2 progress we actually have made on progressive issues.

Speaker 2 But I never forget that the right even more wants to live in another time, a time when men thought a woman's uterus should be like 7-Eleven, always open.

Speaker 2 But a funny thing happened on the way to buy a minivan.

Speaker 2 In 1940, only 8% of households were comprised of a single person, and in 1970, it was still just 18%.

Speaker 2 But today, the share of American adults under 50 without kids who say they are unlikely to ever have them stands at 47%,

Speaker 2 almost half. You're welcome.

Speaker 2 Yes, we are many now.

Speaker 2 We are many.

Speaker 2 The number of single American households has more than tripled since 1940, when the only single women over 16 were nuns and the Andrews sisters.

Speaker 2 Did you know that back then, anal sex was only practiced when the vagina was actively pushing out a baby?

Speaker 2 You know, it's funny, back in the 90s when I said I liked being single, people would humor me. It was like saying I didn't believe in God.
I know, crazy, right?

Speaker 2 But yeah, people would always be telling me that I'd eventually get bored with my independence and crave the shackles of family life.

Speaker 2 Who doesn't love the warm sensation of fresh baby ick on your shirt?

Speaker 2 You'll have a kid one day, Bill, and you'll change your tune. No, I like my tune.

Speaker 2 I like disposable income and free time.

Speaker 2 I like that I always know where the scissors are.

Speaker 2 I like that my bathroom is always free.

Speaker 2 That I don't have to drink in the garage.

Speaker 2 I never step on Legos in the middle of the night.

Speaker 2 It's not that I dislike kids, I just don't want them. It's not like when I see a sign that says, drive like your kids live here, I speed up.

Speaker 2 Really, really, I don't. Not that much.

Speaker 2 In 2021, J.D. Vance said, and I quote, let's give votes to all children in this country.
When you go to the polls as a parent, you should have more power than people who don't have kids.

Speaker 2 No, your life choices are not more valid or worthy than mine. I think people who don't smoke weed are missing out.

Speaker 2 That doesn't mean Woody Harrelson gets to vote twice.

Speaker 2 There we are. are.

Speaker 2 Yes, we have a pot store together in LA, the woods. You should check it out.

Speaker 2 This is a big problem with Republicans, always trying to force their way of life on the rest of us. You want to get married and have kids? Do it.
You think there should be prayer in schools? Say one.

Speaker 2 You believe homosexuality is a sin? Stop blowing, guys.

Speaker 2 Just don't mandate that I live how you live.

Speaker 2 I'm so sick of hearing that I'm somehow deficient because I haven't surrendered my independence and taken on a better half. Well, let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 I complete me, and someday soon I'm going to reaffirm my vows to myself.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 well, it seems that day has come,

Speaker 2 Bill.

Speaker 2 I take thee to be my lawfully unwedded self.

Speaker 2 For better or worse, richer or poorer, live or in reruns.

Speaker 2 And I thank you, me, for living me, for loving me unconditionally. You make me want to be a better man.

Speaker 2 And I promise I will continue to surprise me and to finish my own sentences and

Speaker 2 never go to bed mad at myself.

Speaker 2 I vow to honor me and to cherish me and to do what I want when I want without having to ask permission or explain myself or work through feelings or hear about anyone else's fucking day.

Speaker 2 You may kiss my ass.

Speaker 2 All right, that's our show. I'll be back at Calm Center Atlanta on September 7th at Riverside in Milwaukee, September 8th.

Speaker 2 And the Arthur in Memphis, September 28th, I want to thank James Carville, Dan Crenshaw, and Caitlin Collins. Now go watch Overtime on YouTube.
Thank you very much, everybody.

Speaker 5 Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.