Ep. #600: Rod Stewart, Ian Bremmer, Jane Harman

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

Visit progressive.com to see if you could save.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Moss.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate it.

Thank you, thank you, sensible Americans.

That's what we have here.

Thank you, Christian.

I appreciate that.

I know, I love it.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Okay, all right.

Thank you.

You're embarrassing me.

Thank you very much.

Oh, that's just what a welcome.

Thank you for all that love.

I appreciate it.

I appreciate you putting on a brave face because out here in California, we know this is a bad week.

It's the start of fire seasons.

Oh, not a good

one.

We're applauding fire season?

You see, all week their stories were about down in Laguna.

They said, you know, fires are destroying multi-million dollar homes, or as we call them in California, homes.

And

I hate fire season.

I mean, the air quality, air quality is already bad.

On the bright side, it helps Amber Heard with her fake cry.

But no, this is a people,

this is a crisis we have.

We're running out of water.

But water parks are asking kids to pee in the pool.

And it's really this water thing, it's so tragic because FEMA says we would have been okay, but during COVID we used up all the water scrubbing the mail.

And

now we're out of in this country?

Baby formula.

Perfect.

Just when the Supreme Court comes up with a formula for more babies.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, ladies, you're an American now.

Not only do we make you carry the baby to term, now we're going to make you breastfeed the little thing, okay?

Everybody wants to know why are we out of the, you know, baby formula.

Well, a few issues.

Supply chain issues, which are real.

Contamination that happened in a couple of places, that's real.

And of course, Nick Cannon.

So, that's die right.

But, you know, I mean, inflation, is that not what is on everybody's mind?

That's like the subject of the day everywhere.

Prices are up 11%.

That's a really big jump.

We haven't had that in decades and decades.

I'll say this for Donald Trump.

When he was president, America felt cheap.

You know?

But

gas, but gasoline?

Whoa, that has people very upset.

I was balleting my

valeting my car the other day, and the valet guy said to pull it up a little.

I said, I can't afford it.

You know what we always have money for is Ukraine.

Now we all support Ukraine, of course, I know, but boy, they're down 40 billion more going there, which will bring in

the total that we've given them so far to over 50 billion.

The defense budget of Russia is only 61 billion.

Can we pay them to leave?

Is that completely out of the question?

It's like,

and but look at this.

In the 40 billion, almost $1 billion, $900 million goes to

buying, I guess, or paying

translators for the Ukrainian refugees we're going to bring here.

So if your kid is in a city school that's underfunded in America, here's what you do: send them to Moldova, wait for Russia to invade, then bring them back.

And

finally,

before we start the big show, I should remind you, this is Friday the 13th.

Oh, you like that too?

They like fire.

They like Friday the 13th.

This is just a hopped-up prep.

No, it's a lot of things.

Bad luck.

Be careful of a bad luck.

You just step on a crack.

If a mirror breaks, you know.

Oh, and this year, if you break a condom, 18 years bad luck.

All right, we got a great show.

We have Ian Gremer and Jane Harmon.

The first up,

he is a two-time rock and roll Hall of Famer and one of the best-selling music artists of all time.

He returns to his residency at Caesar's Palace tonight and then kicks off his North American summer tour in June.

I can't believe he came here.

Rod Stewart is right here.

He did.

He came here.

I

That was the best monologue, mate.

Best monologue so far.

Wasn't that the best monologue?

I'd say all right, well.

We're here to talk.

That's for COVID.

Oh, I was talking about that.

We're here to talk about you.

This is a big night for you.

You're starting your big world tour for 2022, and you're in Caesar's Palace.

Thank you so much.

Because you gotta, like, fly out of here.

You're on stage tonight.

Tonight.

Caesar's Palace.

Well, they put it back.

Usually I go on stage at 7.30.

They put it back to 8.30.

But I still have to do sound check, check all the girls' costumes.

And

let's be honest,

the show really doesn't start till you get there.

Well, it doesn't, but I don't want to be late.

I don't like to keep my customers waiting.

I mean, rock stars are known for keeping audiences waiting.

What is your history of that over the years?

Were you pretty prompt with your concerts?

Yeah, always.

First of all, it's people who paid a lot of money.

They've got babysitters, hired cars and bicycles, and they get there on time.

You don't want to keep them waiting.

You want to get out there before you're supposed to go on to keep them up.

That's great, because that's not what most rock stars do.

Well, that's their business.

It's not me.

Great.

And how long is the show that you do?

Tonight will be about an hour and a half, but we're only allowed to do an hour and a half at Caesar's Palace because it gets you off the stage.

Right, because

they want everyone to go back into the old

spend the money.

Exactly.

But on the road, it's a little more if you're not at a gambling casino?

Oh, yeah, we play two hours, 15.

That's amazing.

What was it when you started?

Because, like, you know what the Beatles did when they were touring?

15 minutes?

25.

Yeah, that's what we used to do, yeah.

Yeah.

That's nuts.

No, it is nuts.

And here you are all these years later.

I mean, I have your latest album.

I'm so glad you went back.

to making an album of new material.

Yeah, fantastic.

A Hercules album, you sound the same.

You haven't lost anything.

Do I look the same?

Well, your hair is.

You don't, you know.

I know how you do that.

Do you know what?

The Queen of England and I have got in common.

We've both had the same haircuts for 60 years.

I remember when I first came out here in 1983, I'd never been here and I never saw a palm tree.

And I looked and I went, oh, it looks like Rod Stewart's head.

It does.

Yeah, it does, yeah.

But

I'm eternally grateful it's still up there.

No, unbelievable.

Don't you laugh?

And your show is called The Hits at the Irvine, which is fantastic.

I mean,

that's what people want to see.

Oh, of course, yeah.

And very few people in music have 90 minutes or two hours of just the hits.

You do.

I mean, I've I've seen you in concert, and there's no good time to go to the bathroom.

No, absolutely.

You should put that on the sign.

Ron Stewart,

you'll never want to go to the bathroom.

At all.

You'll never want to go to the bathroom,

you know.

I always say my ideas were, you know, Sam Cook and Otis Freddy and Muddy Waters, all the really great black singers.

If I went to see them old and hear their hits, I don't hear any new stuff really.

That's what I give my crowd.

And, you know, you, over the years have been a sort of equal opportunity recorder of your own material or other people.

You did a lot of covers.

But I was going through the stuff and, like, all the big ones,

you know, Maggie Mae and You Wear It Well, and Hot Legs, and Do You Think I'm Sexy, and Tonight's the Night, and you know,

those were your songs.

I feel like you, as a songwriter, needs a better publicist.

I don't think Rio.

Yeah, I don't think.

The greatest

publishers are the people that buy the records.

Yes.

They're the ones they make a public

singles.

I don't think people think of you as a songwriter as much as you can.

No, I think it's what I look like.

You know, look.

Well,

what else could I have been but a rock star?

I don't know.

I brought you something

that

I've been hanging around my house for 51 years.

Oh, my God.

That's my...

And it smells old, too.

Maggie May.

That's amazing.

I bought that when I was 15.

No.

Well, yeah, how do you think I got it?

He was 15 when he bought this.

Right.

I was 26.

I know, but how does it feel?

Would you feel anything when you see an artifact like that that is about something that was so important in your life?

Yeah,

when it went to number one in the UK and America, I remember I was driving through London and it came on the radio and it was number one.

I turned my car around and went back to my mum and dad's little house and gave them the biggest kiss and they were all cried.

Love's made it at last.

And that song, I mean, this bitterness that you had about Maggie Mae, you know, I don't want to see your face anymore, and you know, the morning sun really makes you look old.

I mean, it's some nasty

fucking stuff in there.

It is really nasty about it.

It is, it really is, and it's nearly a true story.

It was my first shot.

Lasted about four seconds.

But considering all the women you've had since then, are you over the bitterness to Maggie?

I feel like you got your revenge on her with

yeah, you're absolutely.

Well, you know what?

Yeah.

Because I read your book, your autobiography.

I mean, oh my God, the women.

I came just reading this book.

And I remember in my life thinking, oh yeah, I always sort of knew who your girlfriend was.

Like, I could mark chapters of my life.

Oh yeah, I remember when he was Bert Eklin and

supermodels.

I've been very lucky because I don't really think I'm that attractive.

I must have something about me.

Maybe it's the old nose.

Are you kidding?

At one time you were dating two supermodels named Kelly.

Oh, no.

That's a lot of Kelly's at one time.

I'm just saying.

Let me tell you, Bill, looking back, it was nothing to be proud of.

You know, really seriously.

Don't be.

I mean,

there's a part where you talk about going to, I remember the Dome.

Yeah.

It was the hot restaurant in the 80s.

And you said they kind of had a bathroom just private for the beautiful people.

And you talked about having sex between courses.

No,

you're exaggerating now.

That's That's what you wrote.

No, no, between courses.

No, I never did that.

I'd have to check the book.

No, I don't think I ever did that.

I'm sort of embarrassed about what I did and sort of proud.

It was a different era.

Okay.

You know, it was a totally different era.

But you do love being a rock star.

Yeah, I do, really right, I do.

And I remember.

And I remember, also, when you broke, you said you never thought about it, except you went to see this new band, the Rolling Stones.

Before they were like what we know as the Rolling Stones, you said they were sitting on stools wearing cardigans.

Yeah.

And you saw Mick Jagger and you went, I can do that.

Yeah, exactly, yeah.

There's only 12 people in the audience.

My girlfriend

was

friends with Mitt's girlfriend, Chrissy Simpton at the time.

She said, come and see my boyfriend.

Oh, my boyfriend sings.

Come and see him in the band.

Totally unknown.

There's 12 people in the audience.

And then, shush, they went off.

They're still great.

You English really seem to have a work ethic.

Like the people who you don't look at it like, oh,

I'm a big star.

You look at it like, this is my craft.

I mean, when I look at your disography, I mean, almost every year you put out an album.

Those first five years that we knew you, you were also in a band while you were a

single artist.

The Faces was a great band.

Well, it's

a love affair that surely hasn't gone away yet.

I love, I can't wait to get on the stage tonight, although I'm very, really nervous tonight.

Oh, bad.

We've changed all the running order and we'll be glad when it's over.

But I truly love what I do and I feel blessed.

Well, you're playing with the house money.

I think they're going to love you.

And, you know, I know

your big hobby is trains, right?

It's the

model railroads.

You know who else?

What other great singer had that hobby?

Leo Young.

Frank Sinatra.

Frank, yeah, yeah.

And his son as well.

Yeah.

And like you, a great ladies' man, a lot of his life in the tabloids, but he also always put in the work.

Yeah.

Like you do.

I mean, it's all there.

We thank you for that.

Have a great residency there and a great tour.

Thanks, Rights.

Great to see you, my friend.

Right, sir.

Well, that's fine.

Oh, Mommy's.

You're on

He is the founder and president of Eurasia Group and author of the new book, The Power of Crisis, How Three Threats and Our Response Will Change the World.

Ian Bremer.

She served nine terms as a California Congresswoman and was a ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee.

She's the author of Insanity Defense, Why Our Failure to Confront Hard National Security Problems Makes Us Less Safe.

Jane Harmon.

Thanks, Jane.

All right, so

last week I started this job by saying nobody likes to talk about abortion, and then we did.

So let's do it again.

I don't really want to, but I mean, it's just what's on everybody's mind.

I would say it's it's a big issue.

It's so big that it makes me think, it makes me think about the Civil War, you know, pre-Civil War,

because we seem to be going toward this place in America where we're going to be two countries.

One where you're a free woman and one where it's a Dred Scott situation.

You know, I mean, when you look at some of the things that are being proposed in some of these states, I mean, Louisiana says flat out it's a homicide.

So when you drive from L.A.

LA to Nevada on one side of the border you're just a free person, the other side you're a criminal.

You can fly across the country and gain and lose your reproductive rights 20 times.

How can America sustain that?

It can't.

And it's wrong.

And what's wrong with this is that it will get worse unless the Supreme Court, let's pray, let's pray, comes out with a different decision from the draft opinion, one that is

more to the center.

I think it could happen.

I think there are institutionalists on the court, and this will absolutely politicize the court for years to come.

I think that already happened.

Well,

I actually don't.

I think.

Do you think the court has been politicized?

Yes, but the hearing process politicizes choosing justices, and when they get on the court, they have firm views, but they can change.

For example, I'll just stop with this.

Harry Blackman, who wrote Roe v.

Wade, was a Republican appointee of Richard Nixon.

And I don't think anyone expected him to write that opinion, and he did.

And it was, for the time, radical and important for women.

So that's the Democratic plan hope.

I accept that that's what happened when Roe v.

Wade was written.

But that was a time when jurisprudence actually held sway among the Supreme Court justices.

We don't appoint Supreme Court justices that way anymore.

It is all Dems or all Republicans.

The process has become subverted.

We know that.

And if you read the draft opinion, I know you did, that Alito had leaked, I mean, it reads like a culture war document by an analyst.

It doesn't read like it was written by a jurist.

I mean, it refers to Plessy and Ferguson and makes it sound like people that support abortion rights are racist and eugenicists.

It's extraordinary.

It's extraordinary, which is why I am hoping it won't survive.

Okay, but here's what's going on.

Here's what's actually happening in states.

I mean, let's just take Missouri.

Now, of course, a lot of these states, it's going to be a race to the bottom to see who can get the harshest treatment

or give out the harshest treatment.

In Missouri,

it would restrict you even if you were a non-resident and you had sex in Missouri.

You have to prove to the state of Missouri you didn't fuck there.

I'm not kidding.

It is the Sony state.

That's right.

Also,

you couldn't get telemedicine.

I mean, a lot of times women get the morning after pill.

You just have to call up with a consultation with the doctor over the phone.

You would have to use a phone from another state.

Next on the agenda, reining in big government.

So, and a lot of the Waffle House states are going to have laws like this, or worse.

I just wonder that this issue gives a tangible sort of concrete pretext to the people who are already talking about some kind of division of this country, some kind of civil war, some kind of secession, some kind of we can't live together.

So this gives a real issue to it.

I wonder where this is going.

I think there are real issues that are dividing our country.

Our totally dysfunctional Congress is one of them.

But I would say in this case, 75% of Americans support the right to choose.

And I don't think

that's a good question.

Yes.

Roe Wade.

Okay.

Not under all.

But Roe v.

Wade was not under all.

Roe v.

Wade was not abortion on demand.

It was abortion until

if a woman chooses that, until the fetus is viable outside the womb, which was about the third trimester.

Let me just say, Bill, I just want to say one more thing.

I got elected on this issue.

I did.

In 1992.

Okay.

Let me just tell you the story for one second.

In 1992, open seat.

Mel Levine had retired, and there were seven Republicans and five Democrats in a lean Republican district.

One of the Republicans was Maureen Reagan, the daughter of Ronald Reagan, who was still pretty vital and was helping her.

She lost the primary.

She was pro-choice.

And the woman who won the primary was anti-choice.

And all of a sudden, all the Republican, pro-choice women who supported her came and asked me if they could be Republicans for Harmon.

Thank you, Republican women.

That's why I won it.

But that's.

You're kind of making my point.

That's just not where we are now.

In fact, the Democrats aren't there either.

The phrase in that era, Clinton era, his phrase, safe, legal, and rare.

And I think that's when Democrats were aligned with most Americans.

I think that's what most Americans want.

Safe, legal, and rare.

That's not where the Democrats are now.

They don't say that anymore.

In fact, their own caucus on this in the House this week said,

we don't want to call it choice anymore because something, something racism.

Decision now.

They're even talking about using pro-abortion.

No one should be pro-abortion.

The Senate had the ability to get Joe Manchin, to get a number of Republican senators if they had just put out legislation that said, are you in favor of maintaining Roe versus Wait?

And they didn't do that.

And they didn't do it because the progressives wanted to be able to drive more of a spike on this issue.

So much of what we're seeing right now is unprecedented compared to the days of 1992.

You didn't have opinions leak.

You didn't have people, masses demonstrated outside of the houses of Supreme Court justices.

Okay, so what do you think about that?

Should there be allowed, because

certainly the press spokesman at the White House is down with this.

Jen Sackey said, asked about this.

These are people who are demonstrating outside the houses of the Supreme Court justices.

She said, I don't have an official U.S.

government position on where people protest, but we do.

And I think we do.

It's wrong.

It's intimidation.

It's against the law.

I mean, do we have some footage of what?

I mean, look,

it's not terribly violent, obviously, but would you want this outside your house?

No, there's a 1950 law that says you can't protest

outside a residence to influence a judge.

There probably is a constitutional challenge that could win against that, or there possibly is, but it would be much better, as is now going to happen, in Washington, to have a major rally.

I might even be there to protest what could happen if this Supreme Court.

What's that going to do?

You know,

let's just wait a month and see what the final decision is.

Bill, what it might do is it might lose the Republicans, the Senate, and the midterms, right?

And that's what it really comes down to.

Because the Republicans have not wanted, in swing states, they don't want to run on this issue.

They haven't had accountability.

They they haven't had responsibility, they've had settled law of the land, and they can complain about it.

That's generally where you want to be in a midterm election.

So, this is a challenge for the Senate.

For the House, it's a wave for the Republicans either way.

But this is dangerous for them.

And I agree with you, Ian, that a clean bill is a better idea, and it may still happen.

And if it does happen, just maybe they can get 60 votes to reflect the views of 75% of the Republicans.

So,

what do you think about

Elon Musk saying that he's going to restore Trump back to Twitter?

Well, given that he said this morning that he's rethinking about whether or not he really wants to buy Twitter.

Snoop Dogg is out now saying he might have to buy it.

So he's going to buy it.

I don't know if he's going to buy it.

He just muses out loud a lot more.

About buying it.

He's already got it.

He's about buying it.

Well, about everything.

He's got 100 million followers.

He doesn't need to pay $42 billion.

to get a hundred million.

Well, I think he wants something a little bigger.

He's looking for something about free speech that's sort of important to liberals at one point in this country.

It should still be.

I hope so.

Well, it doesn't look like it sometimes.

It doesn't seem important to anybody in this country except this audience and the three of us.

Well,

I've read an awful lot of shit written about Elon Musk that

one column called him a not-too-bright billionaire.

Oh, really?

Column writer?

You mean the guy who figured out Tesla and how to put a fucking rocket on the moon and send it back?

He's the not-too-bright guy?

I really want to see him spending more time changing our planet.

And that's what he's been doing.

It's extraordinary.

I take the under, if he buys Twitter, on whether he'll be able to restore civil society on that site in the U.S.

He says he's for the 80% that aren't on the extremes, but if you watch his behavior on Twitter, his bromanship on Twitter, his shit poster-in-chief on Twitter, he doesn't actually act that way.

Like what?

Like what are we talking about here?

No, I mean, when he posts, for example, his anti-wokism on all of the, he picks selectively all of the flags and issues that are on one side of the extreme, but doesn't pick any on the right side of the extreme.

He just has a different perspective of who are the antagonists.

Possibly it's because Twitter is very left-wing to begin with.

He's talking.

He's talking, it's the same thing I do here.

It's like some people say, oh, you know, you never used to make fun of the left so much.

They didn't used to be so fucking nuts.

That's why, I mean, I go where the comedy is.

I go where the material is.

And also,

I want the audience is mostly liberal.

I want to say the things that they don't hear because they're in a bubble.

We're all in bubbles now.

Well, and it's much better to get out of our bubbles and mix it up.

But on Elon Musk, he's brilliant.

And he took his PayPal money and built the, you know, best in show rocket company and car company and all that.

But watch out.

If he

be careful what what he wishes for, if he heads Twitter and all of a sudden all kinds of crazy stuff, you know,

tear down the government and anti

white supremacists and other stuff comes back there, his shareholders are going to sell their stock in his companies.

And so I don't understand what he gets out of this.

He's already got a huge audience.

But that is what free speech is: it's defending the speech we hate.

I mean, you must.

I agree with that.

Okay, well, you just said if he's allowed to.

No, inciting people to riot.

Well, inciting, it's already against the law inciting people to riot.

No one's even suggesting that.

He's not suggesting.

These are straw men.

But the first thing he tweeted when he bought this, he said, you know, now I'm going to buy Coca-Cola and put the Coke back in.

And

I thought, okay,

when I read that, I thought, okay, daddy's home.

Because, like, this is exactly what Twitter was at the beginning, what it should be, irreverent, funny.

I'm sure there are people like, oh, cocaine is not funny and addiction and all this.

And it's like, if you don't think that's funny or that belongs on Twitter, you have always been the problem with Twitter.

You are a square.

You are a hater.

You're too much full of anxiety, you don't know what fun is.

If Twitter goes back to that, it would be a let alone.

But let's understand what the problem is.

The fundamental problem is advertising drives the business model, and

advertising is driven by your addiction on these social platforms,

which requires more extremism.

It requires more outrage.

It makes us more anxious.

I don't think he's going to be able, if he buys it, I don't think he will be able to have a sustainable business model that isn't advertisement-driven, that doesn't have all the bots on it.

And I'm willing to make you a bet, I don't have any inside information, that he's not going to buy it.

So there'll be some advertising on it.

He says he's going to make the algorithm that drives things to you more transparent.

Good luck with that.

Good luck with that.

So, if I may

change the subject.

We're coming up on Pride Month.

June is Pride Month all over the country, all over the world, I guess.

And it used to be there was one flag for Pride Month.

It was this, the Pride flag.

And I noticed recently, talking about mission creep, look at this chart.

There's 96 flags now for,

I know,

for all the, and some of these, you know, one thing, it's one thing to have a sexual orientation, and then there's just things you like.

Like, here's some of these, here's a real, these are real.

These are real.

Sapiosexual.

This is attracted to intelligent people.

You mean just like anyone who isn't a fucking moron?

Okay, yes.

Rubber pride.

This is a real flag for people who are into rubber and late sex.

That's good.

Wow.

What are the odds that three-fifths of the audience is into rubber and late sex?

Really?

That's the Rod Stewart effect, I feel.

A queer platonic.

These are ambiguously romantic or non-romantic relationships.

I think we used to call that marriage, but anyway,

and then

look romantics.

Romantic attraction without desire for reciprocity.

Whatever that word is.

Reciprocation.

I think they should spend more time on grammar and less on gender.

But I don't even know what that means.

I don't think those people should get a flag.

I swear to God.

I think we should throw them out of the URL.

Anyway, but we feel at real time here that this is not enough.

This is, I'm sorry,

we feel they're being very exclusionary to some other groups who should be represented.

Would you like to see their flags?

We have some of their flags.

For example, why isn't there a flag for quasi-homo motosexuals?

Women who are turned on by gay hunchbacks should get a flag.

Canise,

couples that only experience arousal if the dog is watching

Should get a flag retrosexuals these are cisgender women who always end up fucking the DJ at a wedding

Never got a flag

Literosexuals gay or straight people who will only do it with a partner who has hidden an actual salama

I mentioned saposexual, the real one where you're attracted to, you know, intelligent.

There's also dufa sexual, attracted to a total man.

Brownbaggers, cisgender men who intentionally overcooked their balls in Tucker Carlson's

testicle channel.

And

Harisexuals, men like Harry Stiles who seem to be attracted to women but act very gay.

Also known as British.

So

yeah, all right.

So we finished our discussion of

Elon Musk.

What about the related issue of the Disinformation Governance Board?

Now, people are calling this the Ministry of Truth.

This came out a couple of weeks ago, the Department of Homeland Security, which, by the way, itself was always a creepy name.

We just got used to it.

Right?

Department of Homeland Security.

Okay.

Now they've got an even creepier one.

Disinformation Governance Board.

Yes, they're right to compare this to Orwell and the Ministry of Truth.

It's exactly what it sounds like.

Now, when they first explained it, they mentioned two things that they were going to go after.

Russian disinformation.

I said, okay, I'm all right with that.

The Russia, that's not us, and they are our adversary, and they're trying to hurt us.

And then traffickers.

Okay, I get that.

You know, people coming across the border, you can tell them misinformation.

That's bad.

But then

here's from the Department of Home and Security.

Disinformation is defined as false information that is deliberately spread with the intention to deceive or mislead.

Well, you could have said that about if you like your doctor, you you can keep your doctor.

You know,

if you didn't like that.

It said also, here's a phrase, can take many forms.

Okay, now we're going faster down the slippery slope,

including but not limited to the two I mentioned: Russia.

Okay, so government should not be involved in deciding what's true or not true.

Is I think what a lot of people are saying.

And my follow-up question would be: who do you you think the truths are is going to be in 2025?

Look, I like Voice of America.

It had a role, right?

At a time when countries around the world...

Voice of America.

Yeah, but it was broadcast overseas.

Broadcast overseas, exactly.

And people that needed good information turned to the Americans just to understand what the hell was going on.

But this is a very different story.

This is Americans becoming politicized in governments as to what information is and isn't true.

And of course, it'll change constantly on the basis of being performative.

We don't want that.

That's not our country.

Well, full disclosure, I'm on the Homeland Security bad name advisory committee.

I was in Congress when the agency was set up, and it has performed well.

I don't get this piece.

I wasn't consulted.

It was leaked before it was rolled out.

And if it were confined to a few missions that you mentioned, Bill, I think it'd be fine.

And maybe that's what they will intend.

But I certainly agree that something very broad scale that could become something like HUAC, the old Richard Nixon thing, would be highly unfortunate, and I don't think that's where it's going.

And to bring it back to Twitter, the czar, Nina Jankiewicz, says she'd like some committee there within this governing board with the power to, quote, edit Twitter and add context.

Oh, you mean like what Twitter is?

That's what Twitter is.

Somebody says something and then you add context.

These are not bright people in our government.

Okay.

So speaking of mission creep, you're two experts on foreign affairs.

Let me ask you about Ukraine.

I mentioned it in the monologue.

It's interesting because this seems to be one of the few issues now that has bipartisan support.

And I mentioned we're now going to send 40 billion, I think.

Maybe Rand Paul is a holdout here, but that probably, no.

No, it'll go through.

It'll go through.

Okay.

So then we are coming up to almost giving Ukraine the amount of money that Russia spends on their entire defense budget, which I assume is to defend all 13 time zones and not just.

Used to be.

Well, increasingly all of their troops are focused on Ukraine.

Right.

But I'm sure they still have to worry about things that are not just Ukraine.

Oh, no.

They've got new problems.

Yes, okay.

So I guess what I'm asking is is there any limit?

What is the Biden doctrine?

Most presidents have a doctrine.

You know, Bush had don't fuck with Texas and, you know,

or whatever it was.

Is there a Biden doctrine, and if so, what is it?

The Biden doctrine is to ensure that the Ukrainian government continues to exist, that it's able to actually bring it to the United States.

But that's not a doctrine.

That's a policy about one country.

Oh, I thought you meant about Ukraine specifically.

No, a Biden doctrine, a doctrine, you know, the Monroe doctrine.

You can't come into North America.

That was our doctrine.

You know, you can't mess with, usually our doctrines are about you can't mess with us.

I mean, he certainly, I would say the most important thing in foreign policy has been to show that the United States is committed to its allies around the world, committed to the multilateral institutions that existed for a long time and that have eroded dramatically over the course of the last several decades.

So I wrote a book about this, this book called Insanity Defense.

Thank you for the soft

setup.

And my point is that since the end of the Cold War, we have not had a strategy for U.S.

global leadership.

And we still don't have one.

That's four and a half presidents in.

What Biden has is a policy on Ukraine, and Ian is right.

We have reconnected, and we should have, to our partners and allies around the world, mostly in Europe.

And it's a good thing that NATO is stronger, and it's a good thing that the EU is stronger.

However, if you look at the vote in the United Nations in the General Assembly about whether to condemn Russia, 140 countries voted with us, 35 abstained, and 5 voted against us.

The 35 represent more than half the population of the world.

Therefore, I don't think we yet have a doctrine for U.S.

global leadership, and I think we urgently need one, regardless of how Ukraine comes out.

And let's pray that Ukraine holds Russia back.

Can I just go back to the money for a second?

Because last week, the end of my show was all about the COVID money and like how much it was just stolen and how we just write checks for incredible amounts that we never even conceived of, even 10 years ago.

And I don't know, I don't trust anyone.

I don't know.

I mentioned the $900 million

for translators for Ukrainian refugees who, I guess, will be coming here.

That seems like an awful lot of money for that.

And would we even have known about that if I didn't put it in the monologue?

You know, it just seems like,

it just seems like the.

But first,

mission creep always happens.

The request from the Biden administration was $33 billion.

And Republicans said, no, it's not enough.

We need $3.5 billion more for the military.

And the Democrats said, well, no, you've got to give an equal amount for humanitarian aid.

So you've got to throw $3.5 billion more in.

So it goes to $40.

That's literally, that's $7 billion.

That's not nothing.

No.

That's stupid.

So it should be $33.

It shouldn't be $40.

That's constantly.

Why should it even be 33?

How do I know?

It used to be a liberal thing to be suspicious of defense contractors.

I mean, I can tell you how they always had their snouts in the trough and they just want more money.

I can tell you what 33 actually is.

Really?

33 actually is you look at the amount of spend in the first three months of the military campaign in Ukraine against Russia, and it is how can they keep going at that level for six more months?

And by the way, if peace breaks out, we're not going to continue.

You don't know that.

You don't know how many many javelin missiles,

and they know how many they have to replace to Eastern Europe.

That is actually what they do.

Do you know what they really cost?

Do you know what it really should be if they weren't being grafted?

We don't know any of that.

I don't agree with that.

I just don't.

I think our defense budget is probably too high.

I represented a defense district.

I'm just saying.

You've always got a history on everything.

Well, I do.

I know.

It's right.

That's true.

And I'm happy to be home, folks.

But anyway, my point is that that we still protect legacy programs to fight the last war.

What we should be doing is figuring out current and future threats, a lot of them from technology, a big point in Ian's book, and funding that.

And a current threat is Russia's invasion of Ukraine, because if it doesn't stop there, it's going to Europe and our freedom agenda is dead.

And you're for freedom.

If you want to talk about money

and what the Americans spend, literally, we have had for how many administrations begging the Germans, the Europeans, to pay their fair share for NATO defense, and they wouldn't do it.

Begging them to take responsibility internationally, they wouldn't do it.

And finally, not because of Biden, not because of Trump, not because of Obama, but because of Putin, the Germans and the rest are saying, my God, we have to spend on defense.

And they're the ones with the economic sanctions.

We're spending.

We're getting more money because we're going to produce more oil and gas and we're going to send it to them and they're going to pay for it market price.

And And they're the ones that had the trade with Russia, they're the ones that are taking on the chin.

Finally, the Europeans are starting to pay, and people like you and me and James should be applauding that.

That's a good thing.

I'm applauding them.

I'm applauding you.

Thank you very much.

But it's time to go to new rules, everybody.

New rules.

Okay.

New rules, now that the family dollar chain is being sued for having a warehouse infested with over a thousand rats,

their defense has to be, we're family dollar.

You want baby formula that hasn't been gnawed on by rodents?

Go to Target.

You want the absolute lowest?

The absolute lowest prices on slightly nibbled goods?

Come see us.

And remember, if we find out it kills the rats, we don't sell it.

That's the family dollar play.

Yeah.

New rule, men need a sideline reporter for when they say the wrong thing in bed.

Aaron, it looks like Tammy's headed into the bathroom early.

How bad was the injury from Ted's remark?

Well, Troy, trainers tell me Tammy was deeply wounded when Ted asked, who's my dirty slut.

And it looks like she will not be returning for the second half.

New world movie fans must admit that one of the dumbest tropes in science fiction is there's there's always some unelected, all-powerful tribunal that meets in secret and issues decrees to control the people.

Wait, did I say dumbest?

I meant tragically accurate.

Neural, before ordering the Litter-Made 9000 automatic self-cleaning litter box, be aware you might just be training the cat to shit in your printer.

New rule, Hunter Biden has to explain why he made the password to get into one of his laptops, AnalFuck69.

Yes,

yes, he really did that.

My question is, why that particular password and not something a little less easy to the people trying to break into guests?

I can't get into this laptop.

Whose is it?

Hunter Biden.

Trianal Fuck 69.

And finally, new rule: if you haven't seen all the crime happening lately on your TV, it's probably because someone stole it.

As we head into the midterm election season, one issue that has risen to the top of voter concerns is a general feeling these days that the social order is breaking down, that there are no more safe spaces anywhere.

Street crime, home invasions, carjacking, porch pirates, medical staff attacked at hospitals, incivility at sports arenas.

And I think the grubhub driver is eating my french fries.

On airplanes now, the in-flight entertainment is a fist fight.

This year, the LA City Council voted that every homeless tent had to be removed from dozens of locations, yet every freeway overpass still looks like history's saddest coachella.

The homeless are both preyed upon and, frankly, a concern that they will do God knows what.

You go out for a run in your neighborhood, and you have to wonder whether that guy eyeing you on the corner is going to be this guy or this guy.

We have a new thing in L.A.

called follow-home robberies, where gang members stake out nice restaurants and then follow home the people who leave inexpensive cars and force their way into their houses.

It's why Paris Hilton now drives a 2009 PT Cruiser and

eats at Sabar.

A day doesn't go by where you can't find video of the latest smash and grab robbery, where thieves in broad daylight just smash the front windows of Ritzy stores and take all the jewelry they can carry.

They went to Jared.

And when did they legalize shoplifting?

There used to be shame in shoplifting, or at least some skill.

Now criminals just brazenly walk out of Walgreens again in broad daylight

with a trash bag full of aisle three

while the security guard just watches.

They have to keep even the most mundane products all caged up.

CVS isn't a store, it's a zoo for teeth whitening strips.

San Francisco in the last few years has seen 11 Walgreens and six CVS stores just give up and close because that town seems simply beyond law, which is heartbreaking because I, like so many people, love that city.

And I don't think it's corny to admit, yes, I left my heart in San Francisco.

Also, my wallet and iPhone.

Thank you.

Bay Area citizens have been complaining in recent years about all the human feces in the streets, but now the streets are full of something else.

They call it San Francisco snow.

It's glass, piles and piles of shattered glass everywhere from car windows being smashed.

It's so routine to have this happen to any parked car that people purposefully leave the windows down and the glove compartment so thieves can see there's nothing of value.

Or they leave a note on the car politely assuring the thief that there's nothing worth stealing and please don't break the windows.

Dear Mr.

Criminal, I hope this note finds you well.

Please don't break my windows.

Thanks, you're the best.

P.S.

There's a Walgreens around the corner if you want to hit that.

And

what is so disturbing here is not just that there's more crime and mayhem, it's the audacity of it all.

Like there's no lines anymore that can't be crossed.

Like don't walk on a stage during a live show.

Or don't fuck with Mike Tyson.

Lions,

take care.

Lions.

I mean, who needs the metaverse when you can do whatever you want in real life?

The police still need reform, yes, but we can't just allow them to be hunted and targeted for assassination, as has happened over 100 times in 2021.

I know there are big issues behind crime, like income inequality and racism that need to be addressed, but let's not get so wrapped up in becoming great again or building back better that we forget not to become El Salvador.

Democrats like to point out that crime has actually been worse before.

Yes, true.

And who gives a fuck?

I'm not living living before.

I'm living now.

In 2020, America experienced its largest annual increase in homicides ever.

Assaults are up, mass shootings are up.

Voters' focus is safe streets, not making women swimming safe for men.

Democrats can tell voters it's not so bad or that they're stupid and racist and we don't want their votes anyway, anyway, but this guy does.

This American carnage stops right here

and stops right now.

Yeah, I'll keep the shit to shoe level.

That is a powerful campaign theme when there's that feeling that things are descending into every man for himself lawlessness.

New York was like that in the son of Sam 70s.

Only back then we had taxi driver.

Now we have Uber driver.

He doesn't kill pimps, but his podcast is called Are You Talking to Me?

All right, thank you very much.

I'll be at the State Theater in Minneapolis June 4th.

At the New Jersey Performing Arts in Newark July 8th.

At the Wine Center in Boston, July 9th.

I want to thank Ian Bremer, Jane Harmon, and Sir Rod Stewart.

Go to YouTube and join us on Overtime.

Thank you, folks.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.