Bonus Bill – Ep. #499

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Thank you, folks.

How you doing?

Thank you very much.

Yesterday, George Stephanopoulos of ABC News was in the Oval Office, and Trump said, It's okay to accept dirt on your opponents from a foreign government.

And Stephanopoulos said, you know, this is on tape, right?

It's okay to accept dirt from a foreign government?

This explains Trump's new campaign slogan, fuck America first.

I mean, someone needs to tell this guy,

this is your oath of office, not your wedding vows.

Trump says there isn't anything wrong with listening, except there's everything wrong with listening.

He said he wouldn't call the FBI.

The KGB, sure, but not the FBI.

What is.

Trump said, this is his excuse.

He said, I've seen a lot of things in my life.

I don't think in my whole life I ever called the FBI.

Yeah, that's just 101.

You learn it the first year of breaking the law school.

The other thing that happened this week in Washington is the House of Representatives Committee recommending that the Attorney General, William Barr, be held in contempt for his refusal to hand over documents.

It's all about the census.

I don't know if you know about this, but Trump has somehow managed to politicize the census.

He made a scandal out of counting.

Republicans want to put a citizenship question on the census because they figure non-citizens won't answer it.

And since there are more of them in blue states, it will be undercounted, those people, and then the states will get more Republican representation.

I know it's complicated, but it's either that or come up with ideas that help people.

So

Trump blocked access to this census information, and he, of course, as usual these days, claimed executive privilege.

Executive privilege.

Always sounds to me like a slogan from a credit card.

You're on your third bankruptcy, but you still get loans.

That's executive privilege.

So

yesterday, Trump and Biden were in Iowa on the same date.

Biden was there to campaign, and Trump was there to harvest more hair.

And it really showcased the different styles of these two men who probably will be running against each other.

Biden presented himself as the elder statesman fed up with Trump's blatant disregard of all things decent.

And Trump called Biden a dumber, dummy, a loser, and sleepy.

Hence his new slogan, stay classy, America.

And then, I love this, Trump goes after Biden's looks.

He said, Biden looks different than he used to.

Oh, that's rich.

President Tammy Faye Baker going after

how Biden looked.

Trump is nervous about Biden because he sees the polls, and he's way down in the polls.

Now, maybe I'm just being a conspiracy theorist, but today, two oil tankers were attacked in the Persian Gulf.

And I don't know.

Trump's under 50 investigations, he's tanking in the polls.

Suddenly, hey, look, a ship's on fire.

But I want you to know we are ready for war.

The Navy is on its way to the Gulf, and Eric Trump is on his way to Canada.

All right, thanks very much.

Okay.

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