Bonus Bill – Ep. #446

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

Visit progressive.com to see if you could save.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

is the forma perfect in peasant enlightened families.

Conoju las crucients and

loses encante.

Addemas delicious trosos de granola nuces y fruta que todos vanadis brutal.

Honey punches the votes for all

benefits to more

welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

What a crowd.

The fake media won't turn the cameras around and show the size of the crowd, but there's at least 30,000 people here.

50,000, exactly.

Now, I have to tell you, I have really nothing prepared.

I really thought none of us would still be here.

So

I just came back from Hawaii.

It was very relaxing

until the missile alert went off.

Yeah, you heard about that shit?

Came up on people's phones in Hawaii.

We're there.

An incoming missile is headed for Hawaii.

This is not a test.

Usually when I'm in Hawaii and I hear the word incoming, it means someone's passing the joint.

How many are from a shithole country?

I know I am, ladies and gentlemen.

No, it's Trump has taken care of that.

You know, he used that term shithole, but today he designated Haiti a most favored shithole.

But, you know, that whole shithole thing came about because they were trying to get this immigration deal done, which may shut down the government.

I mean, this is much bigger than just shithole.

The problem is that, you know

his idiot friends in Congress like Paul Ryan they think they have a deal and then Trump watches Fox and Friends and Steve Doocy says it's a bad deal and then Trump tweets something and fucks it up.

They're like parents who have shared custody of a stupid fat kid.

Good news.

Here's some good news to end with.

Donald Trump took his physical and apparently he's the healthiest man who ever lived.

In fact, he has to be careful when he hits a golf ball that he doesn't hit it too hard and tear a hole in the space-time continuum.

His doctor, another prize, this guy, said he's in absolutely excellent health, but he has to lose 10 to 15 pounds.

But Trump said he prefers not using the stair master.

He prefers lying his ass off.

And then the doctor said, it's just that Donald Trump has incredibly good genes.

It's just the way God made him.

And today God said, Jesus, don't bring me into this shit.

All right, thank you very much.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10.

Or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.