Episode #398 (Originally aired 07/22/16)

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Yeah, aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Molly.

Afternoon, time will be

real time.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Sit your asses down.

Thank you.

Awesome.

Thank you very much.

Oh, listen to this crowd.

I appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

So great to be back here.

Thank you, folks.

Great to be back.

I love you, too.

Thank you.

It's great to be back here at our normal time slot at Friday night in our normal studio.

We were covering the convention the last two nights.

If you were watching the convention last night, you're probably watching now from your panic room.

Did you see?

Wow.

Did you see Donald Trump's speech?

If that speech was any darker, we'd be shot by the police.

It made me nostalgic for the light-hearted remarks of Rudy Giuliani.

He used the word violence a dozen times, murder half a dozen times, and that was just the part about Ted Cruz.

I tell you, it was a

rough speech.

And another, another plagiarism scandal.

Yeah, oh yeah.

Now, it turns out Trump stole his speech, too, from a saw movie.

Partly from a saw movie and partly from Glenn Beck having a breakdown.

He put those together.

And if you didn't see it, to recap, okay, it's morning in America where the walls are streaked with blood.

We're a shining city on a hill, which is where we will make our last stand against the zombies.

And ISIS and illegal immigrants are coming to kill us all.

Unfortunately, there's no one to save us because Hillary wiped out the police with her email.

So that's

pretty much the state of America.

Oh, yes, it's bleak out there.

Bleak.

Oh.

And who could save us?

Who?

Who?

Who?

Is there one man who could...

Oh, that's right, Donald Trump.

That's right.

In fact, we have a picture of his new campaign poster.

So that's.

Now, we have had 30 years to get used to Donald Trump's ego.

Even I was not ready when he started to tick off every awful thing that's going on in the world and then said the words, I alone can fix it.

Move over, Jesus.

There's a new Savior in town.

That's right.

Only he,

only Donald Trump can stop Mexicans from raping us and setting our corpses on fire.

Really?

I can't even get the valet Parker guys to stop changing the radio station.

I don't know if...

No, Donald Trump said the crime and violence that afflicts our nation will soon come to an end.

January 20th, 2017, safety will be restored.

Oh, fuck.

He thinks he's Batman now.

He's going to restore safety, vanquish crime, and end violence.

And then he's going to capture all the Pokemon.

So it's going to really

work out well for everyone.

Now, as to the question of how he's going to do all this, do not question Zod.

Zero specifics.

Not the slightest hint of how he's going to fix anything.

Nothing.

Even James Bond villains, when they tie you up, tell you their plan a little.

But that's Donald Trump.

You know, he's a doer, not a talker.

Any politician can talk about unemployment.

He actually showed us Scott Bayo.

And of course, luckily for him, his daughter Ivanka, you saw that last, she came on before him to soften his image.

She said her father was colorblind and gender neutral.

Well, that explains his makeup.

Now,

what about policy?

But

okay, but I do have news.

About an hour ago, we found out Hillary has picked Tim Kaine as her vice presidential candidate.

Exactly, the only man who could possibly match the raw animal magnetism of Mike Pence.

No, actually Tim Kaine, a smart choice, lot of experience, helps her win Virginia, and most importantly, knows how to set up an email server.

Okay, we got a great show.

Jack Kingston, Armory Cox, and Ian Bremer are here.

And a little later, we'll be sticking with the lovely and talented America Ferrara.

But first up, he is the co-author of The Field of Fight, How We Can Win the Global War Against Radical Islam and Its Allies, who spoke of the GOP convention on Monday.

Please welcome General Michael T.

Flynn.

General,

how are you, sir?

Hi, thank you.

Flashing the peace sign.

Wow.

That's

got away.

Because you're a general.

You face much worse than this.

Oh, my God.

You think?

Yeah, we agree on some things, but I saw you at the convention.

It's good to see you smiling because you gave a pretty rough speech there where when people started to say, lock her up about Hillary, you encourage that.

You don't really think Hillary deserves to be locked up.

Yeah, that's a slogan of frustration.

That's what it is.

It's really a slogan of frustration.

Okay, now the convention's over.

We find out what these things are.

They're just frustration.

But I mean, you know, when it comes to reckless, I hear that said about Hillary.

It seems to me that Donald Trump, really, if what you're worried about is reckless, don't you think he's more reckless?

Yeah, I think that my experiences with Donald Trump have been great.

And honestly, I have

been with him for probably a little bit less than a year now.

With him?

When I first met him.

Yeah.

Well.

No, no.

Yeah.

You're quick.

You're quick.

You're quick.

It's not even when I met.

I just meant with him.

You're quick.

I've been advising

for about a year.

So when he says the generals, I see on TV,

he's talking about you.

That's right.

Okay.

One of them.

That's right.

One of them.

But I don't understand how a military man, and you have impeccable credentials.

You've served our country honorably, bravely.

We thank you for that.

I assure you.

I don't understand what the attraction is with Donald Trump.

He said he was going to give money to veterans groups, and he didn't.

It was a scam.

He said John McCain wasn't a war hero.

You know,

he's...

When I first met Donald Trump, the first time I met him, I went up to his office in New York, and I sat down with him, and I said, first question, I said, are you serious?

And then we had about an hour and a half conversation at that point in time, and he was great.

And the one thing that I walked away from there with was this is a guy who could do far more things than dive into the political cesspool that we have right now.

And frankly,

he has taken on an unbelievable task to try to really fix things from the perspective of what our government's been doing.

I don't see the specifics.

I mean, I think he's promising something he can't deliver.

He's going to end violence.

I mean, let's talk about what happened in Munich today.

Yeah, horrible terrorist activity again.

We don't have all the information.

I just saw before I came out here, it was apparently a German person who also had.

He's an Iranian with a German passport.

Very interesting.

Right.

Okay.

Now, it could be anyone.

It's probably Islamic terrorism.

I think you and I agree on something that the administration, the current administration, doesn't do, which is put Islamic terrorism in its own category.

Yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of bad shit in the world.

But I think we agree Islamic terrorism deserves its own category.

Yeah, one of the things that I've been arguing is that for many years inside the government and then now is the idea that Islam and radical Islamists, this is a political ideology.

People argue that it's a religion.

This is a political ideology that's master.

It masks itself behind a religion.

I mean, when you really look at it, and one of the things that I talk about is...

That's one reason why religion is awful.

It justifies terrible deeds.

In this case, in this case.

Yeah, in this case,

you're right.

We're talking about this particular one because there is a disease inside of this Islamic body.

It's like cancer, and it has metastasized.

if they don't fix it, we're going to have bigger problems.

I mean we're going to have serious, serious problems.

And you know, I've taken a lot of booing from liberals over the years on this issue.

So haven't I?

Not as brave as you.

But,

you know, when I saw at the convention

when Trump mentioned LGBT.

Q.

LGBTQ.

Right.

What is the Q means?

I don't think people even understand what Q means.

It's questionable.

I don't think that should even be its own category.

Well, I mean, I kind of questioned myself today when I got up.

I mean, it's LGBTQ, whether or not I was, why was I coming on the show?

You're right.

About that.

Yes.

Well, I'm going to say that.

But

that's the serious thing, and I think that

it's so important that he said that, and he recognized that, you know, in talking about Orlando and the attack on Orlando, because this culture of radical Islamism absolutely hates that sort of aspect of life, And we can't have that.

But

here's my point.

I think every country in the world has a Tea Party.

Now you and I would disagree about what the Tea Party is.

I would say they're the most conservative.

That's charitable.

I think they're knuckle-draggers, but okay.

And certainly in that hall are the teest of the Tea Party types.

I don't drink.

I do.

You wouldn't like the kind I drink.

But a more bloodthirsty,

less empathetic group of people you can't find in the world.

And even they,

when Trump said he would protect LGBT people, and these are a lot of Christians who think gay is a sin, they cheered.

We should protect even.

This does not happen.

in a lot of parts of the Muslim world.

The idea that you would protect gay people,

that would not go over well.

That is the difference between our cultures.

And it's important that

recognize the difference.

It's seriously different.

You know, one of the things that we, when we started to really capture members of al-Qaeda in Iraq in the 2004-2005 timeframe, we were capturing a lot of their media that they had.

And some of their media, in fact, most of it, about 80%, and I write about this in the book,

had all kinds of pornography.

I mean, these guys are about as sadistic and sick as you can imagine when you start thinking about them screaming about their religion, quote unquote, their religion or this crazy ideology, yet what they do to women, what they do to boys and girls, young boys and girls,

it's sickening.

And that's why,

from my perspective, what I like to do is I like to, I actually would prefer that we capture these guys and expose their failures.

I mean, expose them to the world stage.

The more we

go after them with some of the lousy strategy that we have right now and kill these guys, I mean, we need to get them, expose them to the world, to let them argue, you know,

to all of us to say, here's why we think we're better than you are, because

this is a religion of people.

But here's where we differ.

Donald Trump's proposal for this, to ban all Muslims.

Are you on the board with that?

Yeah, he's not saying ban all Muslims.

No, he's not.

He's not saying ban all Muslims.

Really?

No, he's not.

What are he talking about?

Well, first of all,

he did.

We've got to figure it out.

First of all, we figured it out.

Yeah, first of all.

It's a mystery.

This president, our current president, wants to bring 100,000 refugees from Syria, Afghanistan, and Iraq into our country.

Now.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm not with them on that.

Unless we're talking about women and children are different.

It's the men who are the problem.

So now what we have to do, though, is we have to figure out, one, where they're coming from.

What's their background?

We have to make sure we understand who these people are, who these guys are.

It doesn't matter, British people.

No, it matters a lot it matters a lot i mean last week only a couple days ago an afghan that went into uh from afghanistan went into germany took an axe on a on a train and axed 17 people four of those people were a mother and a father and their and their two children going out on a holiday and here he is hitting them with an axe so i mean this is an afghan refugee that came in and there was no vetting there was no vetting

no they don't have there's no vetting in the world that will tell you that this is the person who's going to do that.

So I think that.

You became the country of all Muslims or you live with some of this, some people.

But I don't think in America we'd have to worry about.

But they didn't even have this guy on their radar screen.

They didn't even have him on their radar screen.

So, I mean, I think that we have to just do a better job of bringing these people.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that we have, I mean, we're a nation of immigrants.

Come on.

So I just think that we have to do a better job.

We definitely, we have to be more clear to the American public about what radical Islamist is, what that means.

And one of the reasons why I wrote this book was because our current government, our president, I mean, the president, you know, a couple of weeks ago, less than a couple of weeks ago, said, what difference does it make what we call this thing?

I mean, it makes all the difference in the world.

And when he says that, all that does is that confuses the American public.

It confuses all of us who don't understand.

That's good.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

I'm glad you're ready for Hillary.

general flynn everybody thank you sir i appreciate you coming on thanks to meet our panel

don't know if i convince him about everything he is the president of the erasure group back with us is ian bremer hey ian good to see you

He is the senior political correspondent for MTV News and columnist for New York Times magazine Ana Marie Cox back with us.

Hi, Anna.

And one of my old favorite guests, the former Republican representative from Georgia, Jack Kingston, back over here.

How are you, Jack?

Great to be here.

Don't forget, we've got our Democratic National Convention coverage starting next Wednesday.

That's right, next week we're also on Wednesday and Thursday, so join us for that.

No overtime tonight because I have to get to Vegas to do a show tonight.

How that's going to happen, I don't know.

All right, so.

For the Trump campaign, this Munich attack today had to be good news.

I'm not saying they were rooting for it.

I'm just saying last night he gave a speech about how the world's coming apart, everything's so violent.

I've been saying this for a long time.

This is how Trump gets elected.

Oh, yeah.

Terrorism, it scares people.

What should be the Democratic response to this?

Well, I mean, I hope the Democratic response to this, I mean, is you have to acknowledge how horrible this is.

You have to acknowledge that it is a problem.

Trump disagrees that it's not.

Right.

I mean, but I think the only thing that Hillary Reed really needs to do in the run-up here is actually just be the adult in the room and be the non-chaos candidate.

I mean, mean right now Donald Trump is sort of the candidate of chaos.

Like he is depicting a world around us that's dystopian and scary.

No he's presenting himself as a candidate who's going to stop chaos.

Right.

Well he's a candidate that will stop the chaos.

But

he brings up an image of a world in chaos.

And actually we are not a world in chaos.

I mean the number he was talking about violence in the streets last night.

There were less than 8,000 people in the United States killed by homicide.

Yeah, you know that.

People don't know that.

You know how many people are in the world?

What they see on TV is this shit, like almost every week.

The world is a little bit more chaotic.

No question about that.

There's a lot more inequality in the United States than there was.

There are a lot more people that feel like they have no alternative but to vote for something that's completely different.

That's why we saw Brexit.

Frankly, that's why we're seeing all of the rise of populism across Europe, and that's why we're seeing the increase of terrorism.

Now, the Europeans are getting it a lot worse than the Americans are.

But if you really want to respond, you know, you talked to General Flynn just now, last night, I was there too, Trump was saying,

now it's not for Muslim countries, but we're not going to accept anyone coming over from countries that aren't able to handle the terrorist problem.

So apparently that now means Germany.

Right.

Germany, France.

It was there, people who were compromised.

I really think that Trump critics are putting too much in the wordsmithing on that.

I think the reality is that what he's talking about is the same.

Are you on the Trump train?

I am on the Trump train.

I'm proud of it.

Wow, I'm surprised.

Well, originally I wasn't, but he's our nominee, and I do think there is a degree of chaos in the world that has been caused by the Secretary of State.

But he's presenting himself as a candidate who can solve this chaos, but he is reckless.

I mean, you were talking about that.

But think about this a minute.

Think about this.

Here's what happens when you have a terrorist attack, whether it's in Paris or San Bernardino or Nice or wherever.

It's always the Democrats.

We need calm.

We need to call for calm.

And then we need to find out more about it.

And the week goes by, and you know, how many of these calm times do we have to have?

There's no calmness.

It's more a terrorist attack.

And it's because ISIS wasn't there when Hillary Clinton became Secretary of State.

They came under her return.

Of course they were.

Oh, shh.

Jack, stop.

They're a lot more organized.

You know what?

Let me play a little audio.

This is, the Nice attack was, what, last week?

There's one every week.

It's hard to keep in mind.

But from the Obama World.

Yeah, that's right.

He's the guy who started that.

That's right.

Before Obama came along, there was no good.

There was no problem with terrorism.

Obama was right.

Yeah, thank God George Bush kept us safe, except that one day.

The acceleration.

All right.

You know what?

Let me play this.

Let me play this because I want to make this point.

Here is Hillary responding to Nice, and then I want to play Donald Trump responding.

This is purely to show you the political response.

And it reminds us very vividly and tragically that we have to stand with our allies and not abandon them, and we need to strengthen our alliances, including with NATO.

Where's Trump?

Where's Trump?

This is war.

If you look at it, this is war coming from all different parts, and frankly, it's war, and we're dealing with people without uniforms.

Yeah, that's how you lose the election.

Trump thinks that.

Because her response, we have to

and him, it's war.

And that's how

NATO is obsolete, and that we should not be continuing to support an organization that isn't fit for purpose in the world.

Hillary Clinton's perspective is this is the institution we have.

We have to display leadership.

We've committed to our allies and we have to be with them.

Those two worldviews are radically different from each other.

Now, I may agree with one, you may agree with the other, but what's interesting is Trump clearly is playing into a large populist wave that is saying why we do care about NATO.

The voters

are not.

The voters definitely don't like the idea of Americans continuing to pay for lots of stuff outside the country.

That's why America first plays for him.

Right.

I don't like it.

I don't like that either.

I don't think we should have 50,000 people.

Hitler, we got him.

But I mean, that's why you actually.

They didn't really save his brain.

You know,

we don't really need to.

But I think, I mean, if you think about Hillary, and it's always the same speech, we've got to sit with our allies.

Well, who has been Secretary of State?

Who has been in the White House?

Why is this not coming together?

NATO does not

deal with terrorism.

That's not in the charter and that's why they need to go back and revise things.

There was an attack in Cologne, Germany, many attacks in Cologne and a few other cities on New Year's Eve and it came out last week that it was way broader than we thought and the German federal police said there is a connection between the emergence of this phenomenon and the rapid migration of 2015.

So it's easy to say Islamophobia, it's easy to say, oh, you're being xenophobic, you're racist, but I think the people all over the world who are facing this deserve a little better than that.

I mean, there is a clash of cultures here.

There is a reason why those attacks happened, because we do not have the same values as some of these people coming over from the Middle East.

That's just the truth.

And it's especially about women.

And I don't understand why liberals in this country don't get behind that.

One of the key planks of liberalism is women should be treated equally.

Which is why I'd rather live here than in the Middle East.

But you have to argue, I guess the debate is whether or not you think that the ideology, the Islamophobic, Islamic ideology, this anti-women, anti-gay ideology can withstand exposure to the liberty of the United States.

Like, I don't think it can.

Like, I think our liberty, our argument for liberty and our argument for rights wins when people are exposed to it, wins when people live in a free society.

So I think being exposed to the wonderful culture we have here, most, I would argue.

Most, because most of it, most, most Muslims are not committing terrorism.

Most Muslims.

You know what, it wins and it doesn't at the same time.

That's something that goes on with terrorists.

They enjoy America, but they also feel kind of guilty about it.

But remember also, when you're talking about that, Syria is one of the oldest civilizations in the entire world.

And it's not like, well, suddenly they need America.

And these countries, many of them, have devolved backwards because of the instability of the Middle East.

And ISIS has appeared because of that.

And you know what, Bill?

You're right.

They were there out in different forms, but now they're regrouped and they're more organized than ever.

And to open your borders without filtering, well, who actually is coming in and who isn't, that's an irresponsible policy.

Let's be clear, they're not coming to the United States or Canada.

They're overwhelmingly coming to Europe and even more so to Turkey and the Middle East.

And the fact is that those countries

are not disposed to to integrate.

The United States does a better job over time actually bringing these people into the fabric of society.

In places like France, in Belgium, they're living in slums.

They're not integrating.

And furthermore, the police can't get inside those groups.

They can't figure out who's a potential radical.

And that's as a consequence of the case.

And you know, like, I live in Minneapolis, where actually it's a huge, it's one of the places where you get some Syrian refugees.

And you know who's hosting those people?

Evangelical Christians.

And they're hosting them and they're showing them this country.

And we have a great cross of that.

That'll screw them up pretty bad.

My country is.

You know, like, I mean, it's, it's, it's.

But, okay, but, you know, there's three million Muslims in America, and I don't think that's where the problem is.

Right.

There's a billion and a half in the world.

Right.

Now, I was in Munich and I think Vienna about five years ago, and especially in Vienna, you'd see a lot in the summer anyway, a lot of Muslim women walking down the street in the full black ensemble, just covered head to toe, which I think is sick to begin with.

Don't tell me that's their culture.

That's fucking sick to cover a woman like that.

And really, you don't think so?

I mean, I have a trouble like

making a statement about each individual.

If it's not a choice, it's sick.

Well, if it's a choice, brainwashing.

But women actually did have a choice in Afghanistan in the 1970s, 1980s.

And when the Taliban came over, they imposed it on the bottom.

My point is you'd see all these women with with the total black thing on, and then you'd see

a Viennese woman in a sundress because

it's a minority,

the people in the burqas.

If they were 51% of the population, if Muslims are 51% of the population, do you think the person in the sundress would be allowed to wear that?

Because my problem with Islam is that the moderates don't win.

We had the Arab Spring.

They didn't win.

They didn't win except with our help.

Tunisia.

Yeah, Indonesia.

Lots of places.

Right, I mean, you're describing a dystopia, and that sounds horrible, but that's not what exists.

They aren't 51% of the population.

Like, those people in the burkhas, they aren't.

Well, they aren't.

But I'm not sure.

But it really is this.

But I don't think that's going to happen.

You know, if you look at Canada.

Well, not tomorrow.

But if you look at Bangladesh or you look at Indonesia, these are Islamic countries and they do not have that kind of oppression that is growing in the middle of.

Bangladesh, they're killing bloggers left and right.

Are you kidding?

But certainly it isn't.

They don't just say Islam comes in different manifestations, radical Islam.

But immigrants, historically, one of the things that helped really integrate these people in the United States is that we actually needed the labor, right?

And increasingly, that is an open question.

In Germany, you think they need the labor, and yet the people coming from Syria don't have the education.

And with automation, AI, and all the rest, this thing they might not be able to do.

If there's no space, it becomes a Syria.

There is a civil war going on in this culture.

We should stand with the people who want to live in the 21st century, not the ones who want to live in the seventh.

Okay.

So as long long as I'm

long as I'm shitting on religion,

let me just say, I think the Republican Party has a massive savior complex.

Because what Donald Trump was saying last night, only people who are very religious would fall for that.

That I alone can handle all the problems because I am, it sounded like Jesus was coming back to earth.

Yeah, this is you're the Cheeto Jesus theory, the circus peanut Messiah.

Cheeto Jesus.

I have not

But I actually, I mean, for one thing, I mean, if you met a Unitarian, like, I don't think they would, they're not very disposed to authoritarian regimes.

How many of them?

How many you?

But I'm going to say, like, I actually also think the main problem with that theory is that he, that, that implies some kind of spiritual component to his appeal, and there's not one.

No, I'm saying that.

I mean, he's incredibly healthy.

People who believe in magical thinking, people who don't apply critical thinking as religious people don't.

Well, do you think any of the people?

I mean, do you think that's a problem for only religious Americans?

Do you think only religious Americans?

Yes.

Bill, I think.

I think that when you believe in a savior, then it's a lot of people.

But Bill, what about the coronation of Barack Obama in the Denver Stadium?

The coronation?

Yes, when he ascended into power and accepted his nomination of the party.

He never said that his slogan was, yes, we can.

Not that I alone.

If he alone, I mean, that is a messiah complex.

Obama never said, I alone can solve this.

If he did, your head would have exploded.

I think he had all of his spawning people.

Really?

You know what?

This is what this is.

That doesn't bother you, a man saying I alone can fix it.

I think what he was saying is, look, the system is what he said.

What do you mean by the way?

Big business and big government have

stacked the odds against the middle-class guy.

I think it's the one college

that's not the same.

Obama was the antithesis.

Obama said that.

I'm going to share somewhere.

You didn't build that is exactly the opposite of I'm your only hope.

But I don't think that Trump is fundamentally appealing to the religious.

Or even magical thinking, I think he's fundamentally appealing to the people that think that there is no option in Washington or among CEOs or among the media or among any politicians for them.

It's very similar to the Brexit conversation in Europe.

It's Palestinians with the rock.

It's not going to accomplish anything.

Trump isn't going to fix it, but he is going to get rid of the bums.

It's really ruthlessly rooted in personal safety in the immediate environment.

Like it's not about any kind of spiritual or value-based

analysis of what's going on.

It's just a completely dystopian view of the world based on the purge.

It's presenting a bunch of bullshit and then saying, I'm the antidote to this bullshit we just created.

Yeah, exactly.

I mean, some of the lies,

you know, things like Hillary is for the repeal of the Second Amendment.

That's just a flat-out lie.

It doesn't bother you when they just lie like that.

What Democrat has ever come out for the repeal of the Second Amendment?

Well, there are a number of them in Congress who come out for the repeal of the Second Amendment.

I've never heard that.

Very anti-gun.

They aren't.

Like when they say, oh, the Democrats, they're atheists.

They're not atheists.

I'm an atheist.

This is where he's tapping into, though.

This is where he's tapping into.

He says that the trade agreements are broken.

This is the same appeal Bernie Sanders had.

He says that the war in the Middle East was a mistake.

Hillary Clinton embraced the war in the Middle East.

He says that I am funding my own campaign.

I cannot be bought and sold.

Hillary Clinton is bought and sold.

I mean the Clinton Foundation receiving millions and millions of dollars while she was Secretary of State.

All right, speaking of that.

That should bother everybody.

It so does.

I can barely go on.

I can tell I'm moving you, bro.

Okay, all right.

You're going to like this because we have been having some fun with this.

25 Things You Don't Know About Me.

Hillary did this in Us magazine in April, so we've done a bunch of the other candidates, and we thought we would circle back because this is her big week coming coming up, to 25 more things

you don't know about me.

Hillary Clinton, things like my Secret Service name is Nutcracker.

It takes me 72 hours to be spontaneous.

Like a lot of liberal-minded girls, when I was in college, I briefly experimented with heterosexuality.

Come on, have a sense of humor.

I have a bumper sticker that says my other car is whatever you drive.

I'm surprised that nobody has noticed that I've switched from pantsuits to spacesuits.

I have a really funny story about the time Bill mistook the hot sauce in my purse for lube.

People who claim I killed Vince Foster have no proof, do they?

I'm with you, Jack.

What I lack in political skills, I make up for with an insane cackle that makes you want to blow your head off.

My nicknames for my boobs are Goldman and Sachs.

I want to spend more time with my grandchildren, but they can't afford my speaking fee.

All right, she is an activist and actress who stars in NBC's superstar starting its second season on September 22nd.

America Ferraro.

Hey.

What a great pleasure to meet you.

How you doing?

My pleasure.

Sit right down there.

Okay, America.

Now you are a surrogate for Hillary Clinton.

What is a surrogate?

I know what a supporter is, but I'm not sure what a surrogate is.

Well, I'm a supporter and I just travel the country into different cities and just talk about why I support Hillary.

And you were with her from the beginning.

I mean, you're not like, oh, I was for this guy and this guy, and now it's Hillary.

This is your girl.

Yeah, I was out campaigning in 2008 as well.

So you watched the Republican convention?

I sure did.

It must have been hard to watch.

Well, I listened and I could only take it in like small details.

I am the same way.

It was hard to take.

But would you care to offer a rebuttal to the people at the convention who said that she should be locked up?

How much time do we have?

Plenty.

You know, what I came came away with was, first and foremost, a stomachache because it makes me physically ill.

You know, it does.

It makes me sick to think about

the lies.

They're applauding you, getting sick.

The lies.

Yeah, thank you.

Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies.

And

a lot of lies.

And an issue that I care deeply about, because I happen to be Latino American, is immigration.

And he could not have been more wrong.

He's just wrong.

He's wrong.

Specifically.

About the fact that immigrants are criminals.

Right.

Where in fact, because there are such things as facts.

Yes.

In fact, criminals are, criminals, sorry.

He's got me.

Immigrants are less, immigrants, undocumented or documented, are less likely to commit crimes.

You know who drives perfectly?

Latinos.

Because they don't want to fuck with the police.

Everybody else in LA drives like a maniac.

I met a woman in Arizona.

I was a little bit behind a truck with a lawnmower never, ever does anything wrong.

It's true.

That's stereotyping, though.

Maybe so, but it's true.

I met a woman in Arizona who doesn't play her music because if she plays it too loud, and she's an American, documented, she's like, if they pull me over, I will go crazy and they will shoot me.

I don't play my music.

Then we're saying the same thing.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what I just said.

Yes, exactly.

Stereotyping.

Yeah, but he was wrong about criminals, and he was wrong about the economy.

I mean.

Okay, so here's the thing: Donald Trump is getting zero percent of the black vote, which is really hard to do.

To get zero.

To get 100% of people who vote.

Well, that's what happens when you don't disavow the Ku Klux Klan.

Right, okay.

Yeah.

But he's getting, I think in Pennsylvania and Ohio, he's getting 0%, and he's nearing that nationally.

But not so with the Hispanic vote.

I would think they would hate him even more.

Who are these Hispanic people who are for Trump?

Well, here's the thing, I think, is that Latino Americans are Americans, which people don't want to believe.

But we are Americans.

Your name is American.

And my name, and I have a pin.

Yeah, in case we forgot your name.

In case you forgot.

Latino Americans are Americans and they care about the same things that all Americans care about.

So of course there's going to be a portion of the Latino American population that is angry and sees in Donald Trump a channel for that anger.

But by no means is there even close to equanimity or a majority of Latinos who are out there for Trump.

What we've seen in the nation and what we see.

Well, it's just odd to me that there's any.

And the good news, the good news, it's on to me too.

Oh, it's mind-boggling.

But the good news is that in California, we've seen record registration among Latinos in this

in the state.

So I see that the

Democrats, not for the Republicans.

Yes.

I see that the Never Bernie people are showing up in Philadelphia next week.

And I'm wondering what your message is.

You mean never Hillary?

Never Bernie?

No, I'm sorry.

I just say never Bernie.

I mean Bernie or Bust.

Bernie or Bust.

Bernie or Bust people are showing up.

Yeah.

Bernie or Buzz people.

Right, thank you.

are showing up at Philadelphia.

What is your message to the Bernie folks who can't seem to get on board?

You know, there's only two choices on the menu.

That's what I say to them.

Do you really want to eat poison vomit?

Yeah.

Look, I think that

it's reckless, and I think that there's a political reality.

And one of these two people is going to be the next president of the United States, most likely.

And to sit around and not make a choice

is to make a choice.

You are making a choice by sitting around and not getting on board.

And not only registering, I mean, I'm sure Bernie supporters are registered to vote, but it's not enough anymore for us to be registered and show up ourselves.

We need to register our friends, our families, our communities.

And, you know, it's hilarious that every election, every presidential election, two months before the election, everybody's like, how do we turn out the minority vote?

You're too little, too late.

Like, every year is an election year.

And you can't just show up to communities that are under-resourced and undereducated about civics.

And that there is an active campaign against voter rights in this city.

And

it's hard to vote in America.

It's hard to vote.

I mean, we don't have it like a lot of countries do on the weekends, right?

Yeah.

And you know who's making it harder?

Of course we do.

Republicans.

Republicans.

Because that's how they win elections.

They cheat.

They cheat.

And I think

that's what they're doing.

That's how they win.

They cheat.

And I just want to say.

We have to give you guys more credit than you apparently give your own people.

You can vote 30 days in advance in most states, and it is simple.

But no, you can vote absolutely.

It's been on the ballot, right?

It's not simple if you're sitting in the business.

I'll tell you this: I will be glad to talk to any of your friends

and explain to them

how easy it is.

You guys are

just doing this rhetoric because it stirs up.

Why are you asking me?

In Maricopa County, in Arizona,

they reduced, after the Supreme Court ruling, gutting the voting rights act, right?

Oh, right.

Dead people off the rolls.

No, no.

They reduced the number of polling places

from 400 to 60.

Yeah.

That's why they were lines.

That's why people.

In Ohio, they reduced early voting.

In Ohio, they were.

Well, they don't want the voting.

I don't know why you guys can't.

Give your people more credit.

They can get to the polls.

This is a rhetorical thing.

Can I say something?

And I want to say that.

You know, the rhetorical thing is

the lie that there's such a thing as voter fraud.

There's voting rights acts in 17 states that preserve and protect the rights of the minorities.

Absolute, not just in 17 states, but in other counties and cities like Chicago and New York.

I really want to speak to this because I think that

this is the lie and the lack of nuance that confuses people because it promotes the lie that Latinos and people of color don't show up because they're lazy and they don't care.

That is a lie.

Not Latinos.

Don't show up because they have minimum wage jobs that they have to take a day off to travel 20 miles to get to the nearest government office to get an idea that they're going to be able to do it.

I promise you, I've been on the ballot before.

I've represented a rural colony.

What does that have to do with this?

Because I know how...

I mean, I know how to

understand.

I know how it is.

You know the

This is a very important thing.

Let's not pretend that there's no affairs.

Everywhere in the country there's absentee ballots.

There is.

It is very simple.

Let's not pretend that.

The political apathy in this country is high.

That's true.

And the reason the Brits ended up leaving Europe, the biggest own goal ever shot in the history of a developed country, is because people under 24 didn't show up.

Like 34% of them bothered.

They didn't care.

Especially in America, you want to see a bad outcome in this country.

Yes.

These people don't give a damn.

And that is easily an outcome we can see in November.

Everybody's fired up.

And I want to say something to that.

This is weird.

I want to say one thing to that.

I promise

you.

I'm going to get to the George and show you how easy it is.

This is really important.

This is a historic election, right?

We're either going to elect the first female president or the last president, period.

People need to be a part of this.

People need to be a a part of this.

Donald Trump, it is a non-zero chance.

There's a non-zero chance that he does something.

Let me ask this question.

Because we've been assuming that we are ready for the first female president.

Are we really?

Because I think

we thought after Obama got elected, we thought, oh, you know, that's over.

America's come around to a black president.

We didn't realize that half the country was emailing each other cartoons with him with a watermelon in his hand.

I am wondering whether America is still at this late date when 80 countries have elected a woman leader.

Bill, can I just say that I just find that to be a really boring question?

Yeah.

Like, are we ready for a second?

Well, nice to have you on the show, too.

I agree.

Well, if you're out there, you're ready for it.

No, President isn't.

Are we ready?

You're going to be able to do that.

We just don't care about sex anymore, okay?

Well,

let me show you a little video to maybe load my case.

Roger Ailes, we found out this week, stepping down from Fox News, sexual harassment.

We are the first show to obtain this video.

It is, we found video of Roger Ailes doing what he did.

Please show it.

There he is with Megan Kelly.

And

there he is with Daniel Lash of Fox News.

And I think we have something with Gretchen Carlson.

There he is.

Okay.

So.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

But it is a real question.

I think your question is not, are we ready for a female president?

Is it will electing a female president like end sexism?

Which, of course, the answer is.

Did you mention all the signs that called her a bitch?

Right.

And you know what?

I didn't see any signs that called her a bitch.

And you saw a few signs that said lock her up, but I didn't see any that said.

Even that significant.

I saw t-shirts and signs that said like that

used that word.

Well, that wasn't Republican.

That's a good old entrepreneur out on the street.

That's America.

They're out there.

There was a lot of ugliness out there.

A lot of people.

A lot of ugliness targeted.

And there were people who buy

it.

This is just liberal rhetoric.

Everything's broken.

Now, you guys were the ones saying that Donald Trump's.

I'm just the one who's saying everything's broken.

No, I mean, do you really think the Republican Party, I mean, just straight out, you think the Republican Party is printing t-shirts that says Hillary Clinton's a bitch?

No.

Well, that's what we're saying.

No, but people who belong to the Republican Party are

Republicans are buying them.

I saw actual Republicans buying those t-shirts.

I mean, the Republican, I mean, they're spending Republican money and voting Republican.

I love the First Amendment and their right to do that.

Wait, you keep on dodging every question with some kind of like.

The question is: is there a strain of bigotry running through the Republican Party?

And I think I'm going to tell you that having been on the floor at this convention and seeing people literally foaming at the mouth.

Literally.

Literally.

I had spittle on the back of my neck from the guy behind me.

From Giuliani, to be fair.

From the the guy behind me, shouting, lobster on the stop.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I was in Cleveland.

Where were you?

I dismissed the whole thing.

All right, I got three minutes left for the panel.

Tim Kaine,

who is this guy?

Why did she pick him?

What does he bring?

Is it going to help or hurt?

The dull candidate just got duller, in my opinion.

This is her brand.

He's a guy who's very pro-trade.

She just slapped the Bernie Sanders people in the face.

He supports offshore drilling.

He has supported repeal of the death tax.

I mean, he is not from the exciting end of

the liberal community.

Can I just say that?

I wanted you people to have a good audience.

When I hear the words like dull and not exciting, I'm like, we're not electing prom king and

the president.

And who do I want?

I don't want the prom king and

running the government.

So you didn't like Obama for the last seven years.

And by the way,

by the way, Jack, you can read her emails, all 30,000.

No, they're not a race.

And what they reveal is a wonk who does the work of government.

God forgive me.

She's working.

Yes,

boring is good in government.

If we elected it, sold.

Would you agree one of the great appeals of Donald Trump is that he's not bought and sold.

I don't think anything about Donald Trump has appeal at all.

Well, that's okay.

That's okay.

That's okay.

But

you have to remember this.

The number of voters in the Republican primary was up 60%.

In the Democrat primaries, it was down 20%.

Do people find him appealing to the newspaper?

Yeah, did that have to do with Hollywood?

Did that have to do with him

with Hollywood?

I'm not here as a celebrity.

I'm here as a person who has a lot to lose in this election.

Yeah.

I think no one should know how to buy and sell a presidency more than Donald Trump.

His daughter Ivanka is on the stage a couple hours afterwards.

She's in her outfit.

It's online and she says, here's how you can buy it through Macy's.

I'm going to make a few bucks on it.

By the way, it's not made in America.

That's not commercial.

I don't know what is.

I really don't.

And this whole idea that, you know, Donald Trump doesn't have any corporate backing.

He got $2 billion of free media.

That's corporate backing.

Well, that wasn't the choice of Donald Trump.

That was the media.

Well, he played the media.

Yes.

But I mean, he's done everything out there.

He is exciting, and I would disagree.

Uber has changed transportation.

In my opinion, you need Uber in politics to change the Washington, D.C.

establishment.

You've got to have the introduction of Noonan.

I think the hash around

the passengers.

I don't know what he's saying.

That's horrible.

Let me explain to you.

Uber is an economic disruptor.

Right.

Just like Facebook, economic disruptors.

You need a disruptor in policy.

By your logic, you change the situation.

You order her.

She's bought and sold.

Right.

So, I don't understand what you're saying.

Like, also, all of the pets are not.

Let me explain it.

Yeah, no, no.

No, I would love to, but we have to move on tonight.

What were the names of the Goldman Sachs?

What was the reference?

Rizard Titch.

Okay, thank you, panel.

It's time for new rules, everybody.

New rules.

neural experts experts in optical illusions must tell me why when two women say the exact same words some people see a gold woman in a white dress and others see a black woman in a blue dress

Neural, now that health officials in Hugo, Colorado have warned people that their water contains high levels of THC.

They have to tell residents one thing.

How the hell are we going to get the kids out of the pool?

Neural, just because Donald Trump mentioned gay people last night doesn't mean he really cares.

In fact, I bet that until someone corrected him during rehearsal, he thought LGBTQ was pronounced.

Neural, now that Bill Cosby's eye disease is so bad he's reported reported to be completely blind, he has to look on the bright side.

So is your wife.

I love the booing into applause.

Fuck you.

Oh, you're right.

Okay.

New rules, now that Japan is closing the last factory on earth that makes VCRs, we could stop calling sex tapes sex tapes.

And millennials have to stop pretending that vinyl is the only way to listen to music and start pretending that VHS is the only way to watch a movie.

Oh, the warmth, the depth, the subtle grades of tone.

I'm telling you, bra, you haven't seen Crocodile Dundee until you've seen it on VHS.

And finally, new rule, now that the Republican convention is finally over, those of you thoroughly disgusted by what you witnessed have to look on the bright side.

Win or lose, Donald Trump will probably be the last 50s guy to run for president.

And frankly, that is something to be thankful for.

Because

50s guys, you know, guys like Trump who actually say, I'm a 50s guy,

we know what they mean.

I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing.

When I come home and dinner's not ready, I go through the roof.

Yeah.

The 50s guy.

He likes steak.

He keeps a bottle of scotch in his desk.

And he thinks an educated woman should be locked up.

I don't.

He does.

It's not a really great crowd.

Okay.

You know, Bill Critton really nailed it when he said: if you thought something good came out of the 60s, you're probably a Democrat.

And if you thought the 60s were bad, you're probably a Republican.

And it's insights like that that are going to make him a great first lady.

But that tension between 50s and 60s people is what still drives our politics today.

It's true.

You either think the 50s were great or the 60s were great.

Or you weren't even born yet and you think, screw all you old farts, I'm voting for someone young like Bernie Sanders.

Now to 60s people like me, the 50s are kind of like America's high school yearbook picture.

With each passing year, they just get more and more embarrassing.

But not to Donald Trump.

He was born exactly nine months after the end of World War II.

He could have been conceived on this day when America was on top of the world and the young Trump family was by all accounts very happy.

When Trump was a kid, Eisenhower was always president, dinner made by mom was always on the table, and the closest thing to an ethnic guy was Fonzi.

People are a product of the time they grow up in.

It's why Trump still wears a pompadour.

Albeit one that's lost the will to live.

If you're a 50s guy, even when you try to join the modern world, it's useless.

Oh, look at my African-American office here.

Look at him.

Not that they really want to, because for Trump and his fans, what was so great about the 50s was that white men didn't have to really try.

He complains about rigged systems, but the 50s was the ultimate rigged system.

For example, basketball teams looked like this.

Trump was 10 when Elis burst on the scene, and while other people had made music like that before, only Eldis had the insight to do it while being white.

In the 50s, everybody knew their place and stayed in their lane.

Lesbians were called roommates,

and gay men were called priests.

On a resume, a man could list sexual harassment under special skills.

A tank of gas costs a nickel.

And on a starry night, you could drive up to Make Out Point in your big gas-guzzling American car and get a hand job

from a girl.

And nobody ever asked you to check your privilege.

You didn't have to check.

It was there all right.

So when Republicans talk about restoring America, making it great again, taking their country back, this is where they want to take it back to.

1959, when life was still in black and white, before the 60s came along and ruined everything with color.

Trump never fully adapted to color.

That's why he's orange.

Like the first color TVs, his tint knob is a little off.

And he and all the 50s guys like him hold a deep resentment for those troublemakers and outside agitators who came along in the 60s and messed everything up by pointing out that the 50s weren't that great if you were black.

or gay or a woman, which is why little Richard was always screaming.

All right, that's our show.

I'll be at the Ovens in Charlotte, August 19th, and arriving in Nashville, August 20th.

Remember, we've got our Democratic National Convention show starting next Wednesday.

I want to thank Ian Bremer, Ana Marie Cox, Jack Kingston, America Ferrara, and Lieutenant General Michael G.

Flynn.

Thank you, folks.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.