Overtime – Episode #394 (Originally aired 07/01/16)

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Hey, we are on overtime.

Barbara Lee, are you satisfied with how the Democratic Party platform came out?

I heard Bernie lost on everything.

Bernie did not lose on everything.

I'm actually

a member of the drafting.

I'm a member of the drafting committee of the platform, and I would say the negotiations between Senator Clinton, Secretary of State Clinton, and Senator Sanders

views, points of views.

The negotiations went very well.

We got into the platform abolishing the death penalty, decriminalization of marijuana.

Yes.

Glassdeagle.

What about carbon tax, Bernie Woods?

No, and I supported the amendment for carbon tax, even though I was not a Sanders appointee.

But we're taking that

$15 an hour minimum wage.

Yes, that's in the platform also.

When you look at, yeah, health care is a human right.

We didn't get Medicare.

Are you a delegate?

I have not endorsed either.

I'm a super delegate, but I haven't done it.

A super delegate.

I have not endorsed Hillary Clinton.

So you are an available super delegate.

I'm Sanders, and I'm helping work on the platform.

Trying to make the platform become what the American people want.

And I think popularity.

I think the Secretary of State and Senator Sanders are doing quite a fine job in moving the platform to where everyone can embrace it and campaign on it and beat Donald Trump.

The phone is ringing

It's not.

Jim Gaffigan, how do you plan to keep your five children entertained when you go on tour with them this summer?

Leave them with me.

I love kids.

Well, now that pot is legal,

no,

iPads, swimming pools.

Right, okay.

So

you take your kids on the road on your tour bus.

We do.

We go on a tour bus and we

show a night.

Now, how many rooms do you have to get in the motel?

We get two connecting ones, and you know, it's chaos, but it's fun.

I mean, it's exhausting.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

You should come along.

I can't wait.

Absolutely.

Kids.

How old is the oldest now?

I have no idea.

12.

12, 10, 7, 5, 3.

Oh, my.

So you.

And are you done now?

I don't know.

That's right, Catholic.

Up to God.

No, it's, I mean, it's, I know that's the rule that you think that Jesus is telling us that, but I'm, you know, we're open to it.

Look, I do like 10% of the work.

My wife, I love children.

There's not a single child that I would trade back in.

So if there's another one, there's another one.

10% of the work.

You're talking about your sex life?

Yeah.

Gary Johnson.

I mean, I didn't think about it that way, but yeah, sure.

That kind of fits, right?

Gary Johnson, do you have a comprehensive plan to combat climate change?

Well, I think.

Follow that.

Do I have a comprehensive plan?

No.

I do believe climate change is man-made.

I do believe that the free market has really taken it to coal.

Coal has been bankrupted.

That's not because of the free market.

That's because Obama and the EPA.

No, coal is selling at an all-time low and even lower than the sales price for coal is natural gas.

So no new plants.

But that didn't happen because of the free market.

Well, we're demanding less carbon emission as consumers, and the price of coal, like I say, as low as it is,

natural gas is even lower.

So no new plants are are going to be built.

So you think the free market can handle the problem of global warming?

I think that we as consumers are demanding less carbon emission and that we're going to get.

But that's sort of inherently weird, right?

Like you have a problem that was caused by the Industrial Revolution and you're a libertarian so you want then the thing that caused it to magically uncause it or solve it.

What other example has ever that happened?

Well,

if you look at the model for the future, I think the model for the future is Tesla.

Look, you got solar panels on the roof, you're storing.

Is there an example of like a public security or social problem that's been solved by its cause?

You know,

this stuff you're saying is just right over the top of my head.

It's kind of a short question.

No, I think it's an excellent question, and

I honestly wish the Libertarian Party sounded less like the Republican Party on that issue, which to me is the most important issue.

I mean, you know.

Well, we're

15% of the world's population.

37% of the coal load, or the electrical load right now, is coming from coal.

No new coal plants are going to be built.

We're going to significantly reduce CO2 emission in this country.

Well, I hope Miami is still here when we do.

Louise, who do you think will succeed David Cameron as Prime Minister now that nobody else wants it?

Oh, quite a lot of people want to be.

Boris Johnson.

And while he's going to be the guy,

he's House of Cards still injected.

So I think it'll be a guy called Michael Cove.

Why did that happen?

Probably because Boris was insufficiently committed to actually taking us out of Brexit.

Yeah, I think he was having

a little bit of a doubt.

Yeah, we think he was a little bit lukewarm.

So maybe a guy called Michael Cove or a woman called Andrea Leadsome, my dark horse bet.

Either one of those two.

But it's going to be somebody that's fully committed to Brexit because we're all in for free trade.

We like the free market.

And who's going to end up on Game of Thrones?

Who's going to do that?

Well,

we would have nominated Donald Trump if we could have caught him while he was in Scotland, but he made a quick getaway.

Do you watch Game of Thrones?

I do.

Okay, so,

like, for a family-friendly house like yours, that's not too violent and too dirty and too.

I mean, I'm not making my three-year-old watch it.

Right.

I'm not having him watch Ramsey Bolton cut off the guy's penis.

I don't know.

But

that's okay.

We watch that.

I mean, not the young kids.

What's the most out there show you can handle?

That I can handle?

Well, well, I mean.

Well, I don't want to hear any strong language, Bill.

I mean, yeah, I mean,

we'll watch everything.

Actually, I let my 10 and 12-year-old watch Walking Dead, which is pretty ridiculous, but

they love the stories.

Okay.

Is that the right answer?

Yeah, that no.

There are no wrong answers here.

There's some martyr stories in Catholicism.

I'm a Catholic, too.

So

we're raised with really, with quite a lot of torture porn in the religion.

People getting crushed to death by stones and burnt alive and having their tongues rested on the body.

How about you know who?

That's torture.

Yeah, that's right.

That's pretty much everywhere.

So, I mean, we actually were first on Game of Thrones.

We should sue for royalties, I think.

Right?

You know, Mel Gibson is making a sequel to Passion of the Christ.

Wow.

You didn't know that?

I didn't.

I mean, it's not like I would know.

I mean,

I'm just Catholic.

I'm not a spokesman.

And yet,

it's like I'm the only, essentially I'm the only comedian who believes in God.

It's like me and Colbert.

I know nothing.

Right.

Okay.

You know what, though?

I was raised a Catholic in the Catholic Church.

I'm not a Catholic anymore, but it was the social justice message of the Bible and of Jesus Christ and the revolutionary nature of his life that really,

you know, encouraged me to be a Catholic.

And that was my reason for

why that quit, because

I could not handle the Catholic policy.

No, no, no, on women, on women,

you know, on divorce, on all of the issues that oppress people,

especially women.

I just couldn't handle it, and so that's why I had to leave.

Well, like, look, the United States has done horrible things.

Why don't you leave the United States?

I'm going to stay here and try to help make it better.

I decided I wasn't going to do that with this religion because there are many other religions I could.

I know.

I'm just messing.

But your democracy comparison is weird because the United States does those things and people actively oppose it.

In a religion, it's one truth that you're subscribing to.

It's different.

Not exactly.

Oh, yeah, I'm not sure.

I noticed the prosecutor news out during overtime.

Where was this during the show?

All right, thank you, everybody.

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