Episode #384 (Originally aired 04/15/16)

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Afternoon, time will be

real time.

Thank you, folks.

Oh, stop it.

Thank you very much.

I know, I know.

How are you?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I love you too.

I know.

Okay, all right.

We got a...

Oh, wow.

I love it.

So loud in here.

We got a great show.

And I think I know why you're happy tonight.

I know I've said that before.

Canada is going to legalize assisted suicide.

This is very important.

Very important because a lot of Americans have been saying if Trump gets elected, I'm either going to move to Canada or kill myself.

And now you can do both, ladies and gentlemen.

But

it is the presidential race that will never end.

Did you watch the Democratic debate last night?

It was the 750th time they've debated.

Don't tell me what happened.

I'm going to binge-watch them all in November.

No, it got personal and nasty.

This Democratic debate race is getting a little

nasty, right?

I mean, Hillary said at one point that Bernie didn't know what he was talking about with his plan to break up the banks.

And then Bernie said, Hillary's ass is too big to fail.

So

this is too personal.

But really, at this point, haven't we seen all their answers before?

Who is learning anything?

You voted for the Iraq war.

You got kids killed when you liked guns.

And, you know, you should release your Wall Street speeches.

And you should, you know,

her big thing now is Bernie's got to release his tax returns.

Really?

What does she think Bernie is hiding?

He owns two suits and a 93 Buick Regal.

That's...

I mean, come on, Bernie.

You know, like Bernie, that's one thing, but you can't say he's not the most authentic guy who's ever run for president.

He always looks to me like a guy who works in a little office with the roof leaks.

Even if he got to be president, he'd always be looking on his desk for something, you know.

It'd be a half an egg salad sandwich and

a cat.

The queen would come for a state visit.

He'd have to move boxes off the couch so she'd have a place to sit.

Make yourself comfortable, darling.

And would you like half an egg salad sandwich?

Now on the Republican side, oh my gosh, Donald Trump is in a big giant fight with the RNC chairman.

Donald Trump is saying they're stealing the nomination from me.

It's so interesting.

Republicans in Congress are being advised by their leadership to skip the convention.

Wow, you know things are bad for Republicans when Republicans are telling other Republicans, stay away from Republicans.

No, I tell you something.

The people who do not want Donald Trump to be president, these people ain't playing.

They will use anything.

I mean, the New York primary is going on right now, and there's an ad.

And, you know, of course, there's so much to use with Donald Trump, most of what he has said himself.

And, of course, he did say in the past that he thought his daughter Ivanka was so hot, he wished he could date her himself.

I mean, he said this.

So they're putting this in a campaign ad, which could really hurt him in New York, but it would help him in West Virginia.

That's the bright side.

Oh, please.

I kid the Waffle House states, as I call them.

But, you know, they do it to themselves.

I mean, there's a number of these southern states now.

Have you heard about this?

We're proposing laws to force transgender people to use public restrooms that would match their birth gender.

You got to go to the restroom that Jesus born you to.

Remember the birthers?

I call these the bathroom birthers.

Now, as a heterosexual man with my original cock and balls,

I feel a little left out in this debate.

All I know is they better hurry up and decide who can pee where, because I don't know how much longer Lindsey Graham can hold it.

I just got to say,

maybe you're like me.

I grew up in a house with a unisex bathroom, and I came out okay.

Right?

We all.

But why bother?

You know, who cares?

What happened to Look Away, Look Away, away, Dixieland?

Ted Cruz, always reliably an asshole on every issue.

Ted Cruz, he said these bathroom laws are completely reasonable.

He said, I'm not terribly excited about men being able to go alone into a bathroom with my daughters.

You know what, Ted?

If today's kids were worried about people looking at them in the bathroom, that's not where they would take all their selfies.

Now Cruz, and it came out this week that Ted Cruz in his past once argued in federal court that Texas could ban the sale of vibrators and artificial vaginas.

I didn't even know that was a thing.

Artificial vaginas, I had to Google it.

That was a big mistake.

Anyway.

No, Ted said, these are his words.

He said there is no constitutional right to stimulate one's genitals for non-medical purposes.

And then he had a stirring summation before the court.

He said, and I know artificial vaginas, Your Honor, because I'm a fake and a pussy.

All right, we got a great show.

Amy Goodman, Mary Catherine Hamm, and Rick Tyler are here.

And a little later, we will be speaking with Susan Sarandon is here, ladies and gentlemen.

All right, but first up,

she is the editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post, whose new book is called The Sleep Revolution, Transforming Your Life One Night at a Time, currently number two on the Times bestseller list.

My first ex-wife, and my third and fifth, Ariana Huffington is right here.

Isn't that right?

How are you?

Oh my gosh.

Look at you.

You look like Marilyn Monroe in 1959.

You look great.

How are you?

You look like getting great sleep.

I am.

That's so important.

Getting eight hours 95% of the time.

Well, okay.

Well, I mean, let's start with your...

This is a, really, this sleep thing with you came about because of a personal epiphany.

Right.

Is that a Greek word, epiphany?

It is a Greek word.

Fuck, I know that.

Okay?

Yes, you had an epiphany.

I collapsed and

I went to the date nine years ago, hit my desk and broke my chin.

You're just working at the desk.

I was working at the desk and I got up to get a sweater because I was cold.

I had just come back from taking my daughter around colleges and working after she fell asleep, trying to be the perfect mother.

Right, which you are.

And also grow the hoffiter ghost, which was two years old.

And

then when I got there, just head hit the desk, and that's what you broke your chest.

I came to in my pool of blood.

And then I.

It's not what Chris Brown said.

Okay.

And then, and then.

That's the story you two are going with.

So far, nobody has denied it.

And I got the diagnosis from all the doctors I saw that basically are suffering from sleep deprivation and burnout.

And I looked around and I realized that millions of us are suffering from something similar.

Type A personalities.

Type A personality.

And there's a candle at both ends.

Living under the collective delusion that this improves our performance, which it doesn't.

Right, right.

And actually this week we had these amazing examples of two NBA greats who are both passionate about sleep and the way it's improved their performance.

Kobe Bryan,

60 points.

And

60 points they let him make.

Well, 60.

No, come on.

And Andre Nguidola, Golden State Warriors, breaking all records, both of the big sleep events.

Okay, well, you are preaching to the converted, sister wife.

This is always...

I can testify to him being a very good sleeper.

Well, now, now, now, now.

Oh, there we go again, starting the rumor, though.

No, but believe me, I know this.

I always get eight hours.

The thing is, I sometimes have to be in bed for nine or ten to get my eight.

But I do it because I'm dedicated.

I will watch TV.

I will masturbate.

I will stay in that bed.

But I will get my eight.

Actually, the masturbation part is interesting because

orgasms are actually Mother Nature's ambient.

And

there are a lot of amazing natural ways to fall asleep.

A hot bath and hot shower, reading real books, turning off all your devices.

Whacking off is the best.

Come on, I mean,

reading books.

The point is no screens.

No screens, right.

Well, light in any way.

The light, because we need to slow down our brains.

But light stimulates something in the brain that keeps you up.

It really does.

Which is an important question for you since you're an expert on this.

Because I don't sleep the right hours.

You sleep like from 3 to 11.

11

on an ambitious school.

I know that when you and I have a schedule breakfast, it's normally around 1 p.m.

My breakfast is your lunch.

That is absolutely true.

Does that make a difference?

Well, it does make a little difference.

Because I got my bedroom pimped out like Elvis.

I mean, it's like

low temperature, two things.

It is black like Damon Hansu.

It is black.

Perfect.

This is all good.

You're getting a lot of good advice.

Take notes.

Black,

about 67 or so degrees coolness very important

and the key is to get your seven to nine hours unless you have a genetic mutation one percent of us have a genetic mutation well and we can I don't like to brag

and and we can do with less sleep but the majority of us need seven to nine hours.

Okay, but what about, see, you know, my issue, I I have pretty I'm pretty good going to sleep.

Yes.

Although I do watch TV right before I go to sleep.

But, you know, I like to.

I don't recommend it, but but nobody said you're perfect.

It works for me.

But you know what, my problem is, is getting back to sleep.

When you wake up in the middle of the night.

Right, because every man over 40 is going to pee in the middle of the night.

I mean, come on.

And then when that's the problem, is that then my brain thinks I'm awake, right?

Because I got up once and I peed.

Successfully.

And

so now we're up.

Okay, but there are lots lots of things you can do.

First of all, make sure when you go to the bathroom, you have the minimum amount of light.

Oh yes, I go like this.

I do.

No light.

Then when you're back.

In fact, I beat on the computer the other day.

I have 12 meditations I recommend that you can just play one of them.

I promise you, I have two of those that I have never listened to the end.

Because you need to...

slow down your brain again so that you don't start thinking of all the things that you're going to be doing or you haven't done that.

That's my problem.

That is the kids.

All the Trump jokes.

And let me tell you something.

If you don't watch television when you go to sleep the first time, your brain will have a chance to slow down.

So just a recommendation.

Okay.

Let's try it and see what happens.

I'm hearing you.

But let's talk about Donald Trump, because you say he is the poster boy for sleep deprivation.

He is.

And he is up in the middle of the night.

He brags about it.

Like a lot of men.

He wears his sleep deprivation like a badge of bread.

But we know that because he's tweeting at 3 in the morning.

Exactly.

People say, remember that ad they had?

What will the president do when the call comes in at 3 a.m.?

This one's in a Twitter war with Demi Lovato.

That's what he's doing at 3 a.m.

Screw the missiles.

I mean.

Exactly.

So he basically.

But he shows all the indications of sleep deprivation.

He displays all the symptoms defined by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine as chronic sleep deprivation.

He is unable to process even simple information.

He has

like...

lack of judgment, mood swings, outbursts of anger, repetition of incomprehensible problems,

false memories, remember?

And all the people cheering up, all the Muslims cheering up many.

I think this is all because of sleep.

or a lot of it.

Well, absolutely.

And the point is that it's going to be like his lasting contribution to American cultural life.

That parents for generations to come will be telling their children who are not going to sleep: look, if you don't go to sleep, you're going to turn out like Donald.

All right, well, it's a great book.

Once again, you've done a great service to America.

I recommend this book highly.

Ironically, it is not a snore.

Ariana Huffington is right over here.

Thank you.

Great to see you.

But it's time to meet our panel.

Hey, you guys.

Let's meet our panel.

She's the host and executive producer for Democracy Now, co-author of the new book, Democracy Now!, 20 years covering the movements changing America.

Amy Goodman, back with us.

Hey, Amy.

It's great to be with you, Bill.

She's the CNN commentator and senior writer at the Federalist, Mary Catherine Hamm.

Hi, Mary.

How are you?

Good, good to see you.

Good to see you here.

And he's an MSNBC political analyst and former spokesman for Newt Gingrich and Ted Cruz.

I see you on TV every day.

Rick Tyler is on our show tonight.

Thank you.

Remember to send us your questions for tonight's overtime so we can answer them after the show on YouTube.

Okay, so it's tax day.

It's right tax date, April 15th.

That day always gave me the willies, and it still does.

So I was reading about this.

I didn't realize this.

The most profitable industry in America is accountants.

I didn't realize.

More than Apple and Exxon.

Yeah, that's why they get all the girls.

Okay.

So Elizabeth Warren,

who you two probably don't like, but I love her, she has a bill that says, you know what, we're doing taxes all wrong.

Ted Cruz always says we could just send in a postcard.

She's got one better.

She said 70% of Americans don't itemize at all.

The government already has your tax information.

They could send it to you.

Instead of you sweating it out, oh my God, am I getting it right?

Are they going to put me in jail?

No pressure.

pressure.

No, they could send it to you, and then you could maybe amend it or just send it back.

This worked for most people.

Why aren't we doing this already?

Reagan was for this, by the way.

Other countries do this.

Why aren't we doing this?

Do you really want the government to do your taxes?

Well, they're already doing my taxes.

That's the point.

No, they're not.

Your account is doing your taxes, and you pay it in, and if you get audited, they look at it.

Otherwise, they never see it.

They don't pay attention to it.

Well, I mean, most people's taxes are simple, really.

It does sound like an interesting deal where they say, well, we made this so hard that it's very tricky to do, and we might throw you in jail if you screw it up, and so come to us and let us do it for you.

That doesn't sound like the greatest deal.

It sounds a little bit like extortion.

And here's the thing.

The IRS is an agency that has admitted in the past several years to using political criteria to go after nonprofits and their tax statuses and hold them up.

An attack on political speech that can be used against all different types of political speech in the future, depending on who's in charge.

And the federal government, hold on, the the federal government has also given us an historic data breach at OPM.

And so we want to hand all of our information to them to do our taxes for us.

Good luck with that.

China going to have all your shit.

Was that

an attempt at an Asian accent that you were

going to have all your shit?

No, not at all.

It's all right with me.

But

that's where this leads.

Like those breaches and those are the same.

Do you want to be able to do that?

Those people who want to abolish the IRS, because that's something that's very popular at Republican debates, a very popular line.

How would we collect taxes?

But how would we collect taxes at all?

You can collect them with a lot.

You don't want them to send them to us.

You don't want them to exist.

Well, the IRS is the Department of the Treasury, and it's huge.

It's a huge BMO.

I think it could be a lot simpler.

But the point is, why don't we just make taxes simpler for everybody?

I think that's something the left and the right

could agree on.

If you really want to know where the power structure in Washington is

in the tax code.

Well, it's because you lie about it, sorry.

But you do.

I mean, Republicans always talk about making it simpler.

They don't want to make it simpler in the way that it would matter.

They talk about the rate structure.

That's not what's complicated about it.

It's the loopholes, which they like, because the loopholes are what funnel money to rich people.

I'm 100% with you.

I've handed you.

Complexity in that way is a subsidy for those who can afford a really good accountant.

And that's what you see with GE or some of these places that have eliminated all their

I mean I think overall what conservatives push for is a flat tax but that is not fair.

We need a progressive tax in this country that

taxes people according to their ability.

Wealthier people make much more use of the resources of this country.

And if poorer people had more money, they would put that money back into the economy.

We see what happens with wealthier people.

They take their money in some cases, they put them in offshore havens,

look at the Panama Papers that just came out and show us what's going on.

I mean, this is an amazing, amazing fact, that 62%,

62, forget percent, that's hard, 62 of the world's wealthiest people own

more wealth than half the world's population, three and a half billion people.

43 of them are in the United States.

You can put them in a school bus.

Now, here we are closing schools and these people own this vast wealth equal to half the world's population.

We have to change this sucking sound that goes from

the wealthy people, the poorest to the wealthiest.

Let the government do their taxes and China will have all this.

Well, I mean, and this is why the Bernie Sanders campaign, which was thought of as a boutique campaign when it started,

is so popular.

This is why there are,

you know, there is actually a chance that he could be the Democratic nominee for president, because I don't think anyone

realized

what sort of vibrancy that message contained, but we see it.

And we saw the debate last night.

I don't know if you saw that debate, but they talked about the fact that it came out this week that the banks took what they call a living will test.

I love that term, living will.

What this is, this is in the Dodd-Frank legislation, that banks, now the big banks, which Bernie wants to break up right away,

they are not fit, came the report back.

Bernie voted for the title.

They don't survive the stress test.

No, no.

And Dodd-Frank tested.

But they didn't pass the stress test.

What this living will is saying is if the worst happened, what would happen to the banks?

And what would happen?

They would need a bailout again.

That's right.

No, that's exactly right.

But Dodd-Frank caused that.

He He caused that.

Yes, of course.

The reason that...

He didn't cause it the first time.

Well, no, Dodd-Frank was supposed to do exactly what Bernie said.

It was supposed to make all the banks small and everybody.

And now we have bigger banks that literally can't fail.

And you're absolutely right.

None of them passed.

I can see why that's the fault of Dodd-Frank.

Well, because

the amount of regulation, and this is according to the Harvard,

the Kennedy Business School up there, or the government school,

the amount of regulation falls disproportionately on smaller community banks, so you get fewer of those.

The effect has not been as great as some people thought it would be, but you get fewer of those and they consolidate into these big banks.

So many people, when Dodd-Frank banks can afford it.

Yeah, when Dodd Frank consolidated in 2000, or when Dodd-Frank Hammond in 2010, many conservatives said, hey, this is going to make bigger banks bigger and it's not going to prevent too big to fail and it's going to crush some small banks.

And here we are saying it did those things.

But that's not the main issue.

The main issue.

It seems like kind of a main issue.

Well, I think the main issue is that what happened in 2008 was that these banks failed.

We bailed them out, right?

Yes, and we got paid for it.

And we got paid.

And then we got paid back.

And I think now the big banks and the Republicans are like, well, obviously the government's there for you, so we could actually do that again.

We got paid back.

What's the big problem?

The big problem is none of all that wealth just went around in a big circle.

It didn't create anything.

Wealth is created.

It isn't just these people have it and these people don't.

And the reason these people have it is because these people don't have it.

Wealth is created.

People add value to things.

The things that make this pen are frankly worthless on their own.

So I'm putting them together now.

I can write with it so I'm willing to pay a price for it.

That's true of cars.

That's true of anything you do.

That's true of your HBO subscription.

What does that have to do with this discussion?

I mean,

I remember taking Economics 101, and that does sound familiar, but I don't know.

All economic activity in a free market is voluntary.

I part with my dollars because I want something in return.

I don't have to buy it.

And every time the government gets involved in something, like setting wages or prices or minimum wage, et cetera, they screw up the market.

And when the market gets screwed up, everybody gets, well, mostly the poor.

Well, Nixon did it, and he certainly did it.

You're right, he did.

He had wage and price controls, and they were bad.

And they hurt.

I mean, you look at what happened during the Bush years.

We saw some of the largest tax breaks in history.

And what happened soon after that?

The 2008 recession.

We have to change our model.

We have to ensure that this country's infrastructure is shored up and that people pay their fair share.

So how does more money go into the government or whatever?

I get confused by this argument.

I'm deeply confused by the argument that comes again and again on taxes and on banks in this situation that, hey, we're the federal government really bad at doing this stuff.

Please have us do more of it.

Well, the government is bad.

It's not as bad as the greedy private industry.

That, yes, those are the two choices you have.

And if I have to go with one,

yeah, I'll go with Tim Geithner also.

So what does greed have to do with capitalism or free market?

market?

Greed is...

No, greed is hoarding assets.

I'm not against greed.

No, I'm not.

I mean, I'm not a communist.

But I hear that all the time.

I hear greed and the

free market.

Greed is hoarding assets to oneself.

People who are capitalists must push assets away from them.

No, communists.

They cannot be greedy.

No, greed is the rushing river, and you have to go by human nature.

Human nature is greedy.

We have to go by the direction the river is going.

I like the idea.

Communists tried to make the river flow the other way.

But

a rushing river does need dams and locks on it.

That would be the regulation.

Well, we will always have greed, but in a free market.

Bernie's going to be ruining us a lot.

All right, let me ask about another issue.

This is important to me because I'm a comedian, and I feel as a comedian I have to speak out when I hear my profession mentioned.

Bono was testifying before Congress the other day.

We could get into why Congress are star fuckers and they constantly need to hear from celebrities.

But

I'm a YouTube fan.

I always like Bono, and I'm glad that he himself once said in a lyric, the right to be ridiculous is something I hold dear.

Because I think he outdid himself.

He was talking about ISIS, and he said, don't laugh, but I think comedy should be deployed.

Because if you look at ISIS, we've seen this before.

They're very vain.

It's show business.

The first people Hitler threw out of Germany were the Dataists and the Surrealists.

It's like you speak violence, you speak their language, but you laugh at them when they're goose-stepping down the street.

it takes away their power

no it doesn't

it doesn't take away their power he said i'm suggesting we send in amy schumer and chris rock and sasha baron cohen no one asked them he doesn't like them yeah i know them all guys don't do it and bill more

yeah i'm not going uh why doesn't he go

yeah

Look, I think, no, it doesn't take away a machete.

But it may take away a little bit of power.

I think if you subtracted all the self-congratulation from a town full of artists, there would be nothing left.

So we have to be careful about that.

But

I do think there's some truth to the tiny, you know, each joke being a tiny revolution.

It can make a difference.

And I do think that...

the freedom to tell those jokes and to make fun of even those groups that are very angry about being made fun of in equal measure is

it makes a difference to us not to them you know the narcissism of show business thinking it's all about show business and everybody's in show business, musicians are always doing this.

You know, music can save the world.

No, it can't.

It can make a shitty world more pleasant.

That should be enough for you.

That's all it can do.

I mean,

I would say one way to challenge ISIS is to stop the drone strikes, killing innocent people from Yemen to Afghanistan to Pakistan.

I would say it's closing Guantanamo.

Well, ISIS kills way more innocent people than the drone strikes.

Overall, if you talk about drone strikes, if you talk about the expanding war, I think there's no question that more people are being killed as a result of

the Saudi background.

ISIS videos.

Have you seen them burning?

I see the beheadings.

I see the beheadings, and they are horrific.

I think of someone like James Brown.

Thank you for admitting that.

I think of someone like James Foley, right, famous because he was beheaded.

What was he doing in Syria?

He was bringing out the voices of people, the grassroots.

What was he doing at the NATO summit in Chicago?

He was following the soldiers who were throwing their medals back at the NATO summit, saying, war is not the answer.

It is only making fun of the money.

War is the answer when you're dealing with ISIS.

And by the way, this thing about comedians and Hitler, there was a comedian who made fun of Hitler.

His name was Charlie Chaplin.

I asked today, could we get a clip of his famous movie, The Great Dictator?

Show a little bit of that.

It's famous from 1940.

There he is, playing Hitler.

I love this.

Still funny, Charlie Chaplin, all those years later.

Yeah, that didn't stop Hitler.

I think I should note that, that a coalition of Charlie Chaplin, W.C.

Fields, the Marx Brothers, and Bob Hope did not stop one Jew from being pushed into the oven.

So it's just a very dangerous idea, this, that art can stop violence

from people who are.

There's a teamwork that can happen here, right?

And I think think caving to those who declare that you cannot make art about them and you cannot speak about them and you cannot joke about them makes us weaker and it makes them stronger.

No, we're going to make joke.

But he's saying we.

I'm not saying it solves the problem.

It doesn't nip it out.

We go and confront ISIS with the Khabiba.

But didn't you have some pause with Bono?

Bono is kind of interesting because a lot of celebrities do sort of go out in the political world and they make fools of themselves.

No, I'm a fan of Bono.

But Bono walks the walk.

I mean, I don't always agree with what he says, but at least

he does the deal.

Well, I did take pause, so I kind of said, what is he talking about here?

His heart is in the right place.

But there's, you know,

idealism is one thing, and idiocy is another.

Okay.

So

I was watching the debates last night, and I was mentioning in the monologue, I feel like I could do their parts for them.

If Bernie got sick and they said the part of Bernie Sanders, millionaires and billionaires, I could do the whole speech.

Because I've heard it all before.

The one guy who we don't hear that much about, I mean, Trump and Cruz, Bernie and Hillary, John Kasich.

Remember that show, The Fifth Wheel?

He's like the Fifth Wheel.

And I'm wondering, do you think he could be the guy?

Because

what?

The guy for what?

The guy for the Republican nomination.

Oh, is he?

Because he always says one thing.

He says, I beat Hillary in the polls.

And he's right.

Because people in America, one, they don't really want to elect Hillary.

Two, it's very hard to win a third term in a row for one party.

And the polls have John Kasich.

It seems like the Republican Party actually

has victory within their grasp.

We have heard this argument over and over again because John Kasich represents...

No, it isn't.

He represents the establishment.

And of course, the Republicans are always told.

Why does he beat Hillary in the polls and the other two are getting killed by Hillary in the polls?

But he won't.

Look, you have, every time we're told the moderate establishment, the person is going to go to the middle's gone.

There is no middle left anymore.

That's gone.

There's like 7% left in the middle.

You got the right and you got the left.

And why does it work, Bill, on the left?

The left turns out its base and they win.

That's how Barack Obama won twice.

That's how Hillary is told she's going to win.

And somehow the right is not supposed to turn out its base.

Take Ted Cruz.

So you have Ted Cruz.

You're for Cruz, still.

The 538, well, you know, I spent a lot of time with you.

But he fired.

Why is it going for him?

It didn't cloud my judgment.

So the 538

was clouded long before that.

Oh, exactly.

Right.

All right.

But anyway, I was saying on the show a few weeks ago that to me, John Kasich was like the guy in the romantic comedy, you know, the guy who's been there all along.

You know, there's always that move.

So many movies where the guy's in the friend zone, and then the girl realizes he's the one.

Well, apparently Hollywood heard me and sat up and took notice because now they're making a movie about that.

Would you like to see the trailer?

It's called Justin Kasich.

From the studio that brought you Just Friends, 27 Dresses, Love Actually, and every other movie where the woman doesn't see that Mr.

Wright is the nice guy who was there all along, comes Justin Kasich,

starring Emma Stone as the Republican bass.

She tried a young guy, a black guy, even a southern guy, but he ran off with his personal trainer.

Then she met Donald, a fast-talking meat tycoon with his own plane, his own helicopter, and his own color.

He was the first guy who let her be who she really was, a racist who wants her country back.

But when she wanted to connect, he put up a wall.

If I were running the view, I'd fire Rosie.

I mean, I'd look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers.

I'd say, Rosie, you fired.

I know he's not good for me, but the heart wants what it wants.

And apparently, my heart wants a huge asshole.

Then one day, she realized that Mr.

Wright was Mr.

Wrong,

and that someone else was always there for her.

With a smile, and a hug, and a consistent stance on abortion.

In your eyes.

John Cusack,

I mean John Kasich, is the guy who's been there all along.

It was you.

It was always you.

I just couldn't see you behind Chris Christie.

Sometimes love just strikes right out of the blue, like an elbow to the face.

All right, she's an activist and Oscar-winning actress who is executive producer and star of The Medler, which debuts April 22nd.

Susan Sarandon.

Hey.

Great to see you.

How are you?

I'm good.

You hurt your foot there, right?

Yeah, I fractured my ankle.

Did you do that making the movie?

No, Fallen Down Mountain in Columbia.

Mountain, you know, how that goes.

You are unbelievable.

I tell you, time has not laid a glove on you.

Aw.

Really?

Right?

Am I right?

Beeping it together.

And I don't sleep hardly at all.

Really?

You should.

Oh, I'm going to get you with Ariana on that.

She already got me.

All right.

I got it.

Well, I saw your movie.

It's so charming.

I really enjoyed it so much.

Are you softy you?

Yeah, I am a softie.

It's true.

I heard Trump say the other day that he never cries.

I don't cry.

I cry at movies.

That's a good thing.

I don't cry in life.

That's a good idea.

Yeah, like any movie.

But

this is the kind of movie, like if they made it in 1980, it would be ordinary people.

And it would be all over every theater.

And I just worry that movies like this, you know, there's no cars punching each other.

Yeah.

We're entering this era where movies like this probably are only going to be seen at home.

But everyone has a mother, pretty much.

Right.

And it's about mothers and kids.

Yeah.

And, you know,

I like movies that are about people taking a chance to connect and, because connection's everything.

No, it's really well written.

It's funny.

It's funny.

There's a lot of funny people in it.

And it's got a good ending.

It's a pretty good ending.

J.K.

Simmons.

J.K.

Simmons.

What an actor.

What an actor.

You know,

the first time I ever saw him was on this network.

He was in the show Oz.

He played the Nazi rapist in the prison.

And for years, I was scared of him.

I couldn't even look at him.

And now look where he is.

He's kind of a romantic thing happening.

Yeah, and Rose Byrne.

Yeah, she's at him.

It's a really good picture.

Thank you.

Thank you for helping us.

You are also the meddler in politics.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Look at that.

I got an extra plug in there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

there are

some of the liberals got mad at you because you said if it's not Bernie, that you don't know if you'll even vote for Hillary.

You said maybe Trump would be better because he'd bring on the revolution.

Well, some of the liberals didn't read the article or see the interview.

They just looked at these misleading headlines that the Daily Beast and the Hollywood Reporter and The Hill had put up there saying that I supported Trump.

But if you read it or you saw it, I did not say that.

No, we're not thinking you support Trump.

We're just wondering whether...

No, but that's what the headline was.

So they went off on it and said, how could you say that?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I just said, just look at it, read it.

I didn't say that.

I didn't say that.

And it was really shocking because it shows you how the political atmosphere has gotten whipped into a frenzy with just little bits and pieces taken out of context.

I was looking at even

what they took out of the debates last last night because I didn't see the debates, I was working.

But then, when they did like the top hits of the debates, they would have her like screaming at him, and then you didn't say the answer.

You know, you know, so you're getting just a very odd little bits and pieces of things.

And I thought that was what was really amazing.

So, you will vote for Hillary if it's not Bernie.

I'm not even admitting that she's going to get the nomination.

I'm not going there, no.

I'm also a Bernie Sanders, but I've been saying for months on this show, look, until it's not, that's who I'm for.

You know, he's putting on the table what I call a new deal, just like

the new, old new deal.

You pay more in taxes, but look at what you get.

You get

a new health.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is a new deal.

You protect the environment.

You don't get connected to Wall Street.

You don't take big farm money.

You don't take all the money for months to get it.

But I have also been saying that if the airline cannot board your first choice, eat the chicken.

That should be Hillary slogan.

Eat the chicken.

Are you going to eat the chicken?

I'm a vegetarian.

I see.

Well, see, this is

where we are.

What happened was that I was saying, because he said to me, there's some people that aren't going to vote for Hillary, I heard.

And I said, well, you know, there's a lot of independents, environmentalists, Green Party, working families that he's activated into the Democratic Party that never would have voted for the Democrat.

And they're very principled and very passionate.

And you can't just expect them to roll over.

You're going to have to give them something

if you want them to vote because they are not the same on the environment.

One wants fracking, one doesn't.

They're not the same on a lot of people.

So if you want to get me, she's already come up to the $15 minimum wage.

That's nice because she didn't support that.

I mean, in environment, great example.

Hillary has an 82% voter rating from the Conservation Society.

I don't care the conservation society.

Cruz has five.

That's your choice in this world.

She's selling fracking all over during the city.

Yes, she's not perfect, but the perfect is not on the menu.

Well, I'm not going to say that I think Bernie Sanders is going to get the nomination.

Don't burst my bubble.

Okay, all right.

But

I'm not, those words can't come out of my mouth at this point.

But you know, we were both for Ralph Nader back in 2000.

But he was a third-party candidate.

There was a very specific thing.

This guy is actually a

miracle that he has come up and worked so hard and is the party.

And you see, when you go around the United States,

he has really spoken to people the way that Trump has, but except this instead of picking on people and putting up walls and persecuting people, he's saying everyone comes together.

But it's the same discontent.

It's the same need for authenticity.

It's the same disrespect for the establishment.

And that is a very real thing that's going on now.

And that's exciting because he's activated people who I think will vote in the the midterm elections.

That's part of his thing.

He's saying it doesn't end here.

No matter what happens, you have to get out there.

Obama said that, and they didn't show up in 2010.

They didn't show up in 2014.

I don't think he followed through.

I don't think he followed through.

Oh, come on.

No, I don't think he did.

I didn't hear anything after he got in.

I think he left the grassroots on the lawn of the White House.

Wow.

I do.

Plus, you know, he's persecuted.

He's put in jail more whistleblowers.

He's not had a good record on a lot of things that people cared about.

he has done wonderful things i agree he has done wonderful things

that's i'm not attacking obama for the record you can attack him he won't do this show you know and

until he does this show you can all right let's move on uh HBO has a show coming on, I think it's tomorrow night, called Confirmation about the Anita Hill hearings.

About the hearings were in.

Did you hear that rumble?

They all went, ooh.

Well, I think a lot of people went, ooh, what the hell does that mean?

Because

this was 1991.

There are many people in our audience who weren't alive in 1991.

So let me review it for you folks.

In 1991, there was one black member of the Supreme Court.

That was Thurgood Marshall.

He had been appointed in 1967.

He died.

So there was something called the black seat.

It was an unspoken rule that, hey, we got to have one black guy in the court.

But in 1991, the president was a Republican, George Bush I, and he nominated Clarence Thomas, who represented, I would say, about 0.5% of the black people in America.

He was not the typical black person, let's say that.

Like he thought affirmative action was holding black people back.

But of course, this was a Republican, so they found a right-wing black man to go on the court and enter Anita Hill.

She had worked for Clarence Thomas earlier in both of their careers at another government position, and she testified that he was a pig.

She said he said things to her like he'd seen in, he spoke about acts that he had seen in pornographic films, including such matters as women having sex with animals, group sex, rape scenes.

He talked about pornographic materials depicting individuals with large penises or breasts.

He told me graphically of his own sexual prowess.

If only he had talked this much from the bench.

And ever since,

people have been arguing

over whether Anita Hill is a martyr, and I think she was.

What say you?

Well, I particularly think about Anita Hill and the man who ran the Senate Judiciary Committee.

His name was Joe Biden, the Vice President of the United States.

I mean, this is a person who hasn't apologized to her, but forget that, to American women, because she was a conservative law professor, very private and proud.

She had been sexually harassed, and she dared to come forward.

Did he put the other women on who said they had similar experiences with Clarence Thomas?

Did he put the experts on who talked about this?

Instead, he allowed a kind of grilling that was a second assault, sexual assault, on Anita Hill.

And this was Joe Biden, the head of the Senate Judiciary.

I remember watching it and thinking, who is deciding, Who's protecting her?

Do you just assume that she's going to have some kind of really good representation?

And then every single day it got worse and worse and worse.

And you thought, how could that happen?

Well, there were only two women in the Senate in 1991.

Two out of 100.

Isn't that amazing?

Now there's 20.

Wow.

Let's not forget.

And there were also a bunch of women who testified on his behalf, quite adamantly.

Women of color, white women, assistants, lawyers all across the spectrum who testified for him.

And the interesting thing to me about the Clarence Thomas hearings is after this pretty salacious couple of days that you guys are talking about, the polling actually didn't change.

And it wasn't that polarized among black Americans.

A plurality to a majority always wanted him appointed.

And a plurality to a majority of Americans said, look, if there's any doubt about these allegations, then we think he probably should be appointed.

So it's interesting to me how even though the hearings are remembered so, they're such a flashpoint, that in actual public opinion they really weren't.

Well, three-quarters of Americans at the time thought she was lying.

Including me.

And I watched the hearings.

Really?

And I still think she's lying.

But what reason?

Yeah,

you know, people wonder why women who are raped don't come forward.

This is why.

No, that's not.

I mean,

she was a very private person before and after this.

Right, and apparently all of that.

She's had 25 years to cash in on the celebrity she was going to get from this, and she chose never to do that.

So

what was she to gain from this?

I think the left didn't want to have a conservative on the court, and they did everything they could to have it stop.

She wasn't

left.

Well,

she has appeared and spoken about public issues after this.

And when it came to things like, for instance,

Kathleen.

She's not a good person.

She was on Meet the Press during the time of the Kathleen Willey allegations because people wanted to ask her about this.

And the interesting thing

is that she was.

No, no, no, I agree with you, but I want to say she made those appearances and she got very, you know,

very parsing once it was about Bill Clinton and whether he had crossed any lines.

So

there did seem to be some political influence about whether Bill Clinton had engaged in sexual harassment, even though there were plenty of people who said that probably meets the quality.

Do you think it also has something to do with the fact that she was 35 and single?

There is some sort of singleism going on in America, I think, where single people, thank you very much, those two people.

I mean, I think maybe most significant is she was African-American and a woman.

Now, so, of course, Clarence Thomas was African-American.

He used that term high-tech lynching.

And what you see happen is that so often you see African-American women

victimized.

And in this case, people sided with the man.

And also, look at the entire Senate Judiciary Committee at the time.

Where was someone outside of a white man to protect her?

Because the white men certainly are.

Do you think it would be different today with 20 women in the Senate?

I think it would be greatly different.

And it would really be different if there were 50 women in the Senate.

I do think regardless of what the polling showed and what people think about this particular incident, the fact that it was talked about so openly in such a public way, in such a striking way, has changed the way it's talked about for women of my age who came along in professional settings after that.

I do think that's well thank you.

We have to leave it there.

It's time for new rules, everybody.

New rules.

Okay.

New rule, someone has to tell this elderly Trump supporter that those aren't the voting booths.

On second thought, new rule, someone has to direct this fine gentleman to the voting booths directly behind him.

That's right, sir.

Just drop your ballot into that hole

and thanks for making America great again.

Neural, get your mind out of the gutter.

Just because Dennis Hastard allegedly had sex with a lot of boys doesn't make it dirty when he grabs a gavel.

Although you have to admire how he instinctively uses his other hand to cuff the balls.

New rule, now that Alaska Airlines is buying Virgin America Airlines, they have to change their name to Bristol Palin Air.

It's no virgin, but it sure ain't one of those tramps who uses birth control.

New rule, men who get themselves stuck on mountaintops and ravines and on cliff faces, and then have to be airlifted to safety, have to ask themselves, am I truly an avid outdoorsman or just really attracted to firemen?

New rule, if this picture is real and the Daily

and the Daily Mail swears it is, Spain has to look, take a serious look at workplace safety.

And Two Live Crew has to re-record me so horny.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and in this case, every single one of them is damn.

And finally, new rule: now that it's April 15th, all U.S.

taxpayers must call out all the deadbeats who ride for free, which include giant corporations like GM and United Airlines, which this year are going to pay no taxes.

How brave of you.

But the list should also include this place

and this one

and this one and this one and this one.

There are 300,000 religious congregations in this country that pay no tax, no federal, state, or local, no income, sales, or property tax, and they own $600 billion in property, like St.

Patrick's Cathedral on Fifth Avenue in New York.

If you sell cheap sweaters like they do across the street at Forever 21,

you pay taxes.

But if you're selling the invisible product of eternal whatever,

no taxes.

So to recap, Forever 21, taxes.

Forever 33, no taxes.

You know, Scientology founder L.

Ron Hubbard once said that the only way to make any real money in this world was to start a religion.

And even though the one he started only has about 30,000 members, it owns billions in real estate tax scot-free.

And that makes me hopping mad.

The Supreme Court of the United States really needs to take a case about taxing churches because it hasn't done that since 1970.

And since then, religion has become much less popular, especially with younger people.

To them,

religion is the new pubic hair.

35% of millennials want nothing to do with it and the rest worship an ancient Jew born over 2,000 years ago, Bernie Sanders.

And it's not just millennials, my flock.

The atheists, agnostics, and anti-religionists out there are now the second biggest denomination in America, right behind evangelicals.

We're 22.8%.

That means almost a quarter of us in America are being forced to subsidize a myth that we're not buying into.

Why am I subsidizing their Sunday morning hobby?

They don't subsidize mine.

If we levy taxes, sin taxes, they call them, on things that are bad, to get people to stop doing them.

Why, in heaven's name, don't we tax religion, a sexist, homophobic, magic act that's been used to justify everything from genital mutilation to genocide?

You want to raise the tax on tobacco so kids don't get cancer?

Okay, but then let's put one on Sunday school so they don't get stupid.

Americans are losing their religion because they're catching on that religions do much more harm than good.

Who enabled child sex abuse for centuries?

What's the common thread between ISIS, al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, and most other terrorist groups in the world?

Who's behind the new law in Mississippi that says that Mississippi now cannot, among other things, force a baker to bake for a gay wedding.

Because in Mississippi, if you don't put it in the right hole, you don't get cake.

And

speaking of cake, it's the same religious freedom people that last year passed a law in Indiana that allowed restaurants to refuse to feed gay people, as Jesus would have wanted.

Ah yes, sweet, sweet religious freedom.

Free at last to eat the potato skins here at the flapjack hut without some gay lord forcing his penis in our good Christian food and turning it gay.

You gave people hungry.

Well, you should have thought of that before you embarked on your life of satanic perversions.

Next time, have sex in a vagina.

And if you take a picture of it and bring it into Bennigan's, you get a free appetizer.

All right, that's our show.

I'll be at Heinz Hall in Pittsburgh, July 8th, and the Mirage back in Vegas, July 22nd and 23rd.

I want to thank Amy Goodman, Mary Catherine Hamm, Rick Tyler, Susan Sarandon, and Ariana Hubigan.

Join us now for overtime on YouTube.

Thank you, folks.

Watch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.