Episode #379 (Originally aired 03/04/16)

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Dark o'clock.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon, time will be

real time.

Thank you.

All right, listen.

We have

please, please, please, please, I appreciate that.

But I know, please, please, folks, we

we have so much penis news to get to.

But before we get to the hard news, I want to just

say a shout out to astronaut Scott Kelly.

This week, he heard about this?

This guy

was in space for a year.

Can you imagine that?

Got back to Earth this week.

They told him Trump was going to be president.

He got right back on a rocket.

Well, that might be the only way to avoid President Trump.

The Republicans are trying everything since Trump had a big victory.

It was Super Tuesday this Tuesday.

And so they brought out their big secret weapon, Mitt Romney.

Did you see this?

And

Mitt Romney made a speech against Trump.

He said, Trump is a phony and a fraud who's playing the American people for suckers.

And I already tried that.

Hey, when you're being called a fraud who plays people for suckers by a Mormon,

that is something to consider.

But of course, Donald Trump took the criticism calmly.

Of course not.

He called Mitt Romney a stiff, a loser, a lightweight, a joke artist.

I love this.

Because he has such an even keel.

Trump said that in 2012, when Mitt was the nominee, Mitt Romney Romney begged Donald Trump for his endorsement.

And then Donald Trump said, I could have said, Mitt, dropped to your knees, and he would have dropped to his knees.

Let's just take a step back here.

Examine what's going on.

After a week, capped off, by the way, by the debate last night where the Republican nominees are belittling each other over weenie size,

the current Republican frontrunner is talking about the Republican nominee from last time, blowing him.

And then

Donald Trump yesterday was on Good Morning America, the Today Show, one of those, and he says, once I'm elected, he said, I will be very, very presidential.

Yes, once I'm elected, until then, Mitt Romney can suck my dick.

But

when I'm elected, oh, yeah, it'll all stop.

I mean,

did you see that debate last night?

I was crying like the Indian in the old public service for America.

I don't want to say it was bloody and messy, but the front row was wearing plastic like at a Gallagher concert.

It was nothing but name-calling for two hours.

Rubio called Trump a con man and Trump called Cruz Lion Ted and everybody called everybody else a disaster for the Republic.

And then I love this at the end.

If the other guy wins, will you support him?

Of course.

Of course I would.

As opposed to what?

Voting for a woman?

Could there ever be a better argument for a woman president than

the fact that the members

of the other party are arguing over their dick size.

I could not believe Trump last night.

This was like in the first two minutes of the debate, he had to respond to this accusation that if you hadn't been following this, Marco Rubio all week was saying that Donald Trump has small hands,

and you know what they say about men with small hands?

Yeah, they put up tall buildings with their name on them.

So Trump had to make sure everybody knows he didn't need to make his penis great again.

It was already great.

He's actually come out there and said, I guarantee you, there's no problem, I guarantee you.

Over to you, factcheck.org.

You know, and maybe we should.

You know what?

I mean, come on.

Trump lies about everything else.

We got to know.

Come on, Don.

You're the guy who made Obama show his birth certificate.

We need proof.

Show us the dick certificate.

Let's see it.

Or just drop your trousers.

Show us your penis, and then you can put it behind you.

And also...

I noticed they waited for the black guy in the race to drop out before they started comparing their dick size.

So,

you know what Republicans?

Maybe we should forget, just forget about delegates and have a dick measuring contest.

Rince Priebus can come out with a ruler.

Whoever's got the biggest wins and has the chance to have Hillary lop it off in the general election.

All right, we got a great show.

We got Representative Donna Edwards, Matt Lewis, and Ari Shapiro.

And a little later, I will be speaking with the lovely and hilarious Sarah Silverman.

Well first up, she is a Muslim activist and president of the Council for Muslims Facing Tomorrow.

Here is a little of her internet video called By the Numbers.

In 2013, Pew Research released a comprehensive study based on interviews with thousands of Muslims in 39 countries.

It reported that in countries like Afghanistan, Egypt, and Jordan, the vast majority of Muslims surveyed, between 79 to 86 percent, believe that those who leave the Muslim faith should be executed.

Do you know anyone who has left their faith?

Do you think they should be executed?

Do you think that that's a radical belief?

Please welcome Rahil Raza.

How you doing?

What a great pleasure to meet you.

Pleasure to meet you too.

Thank you for coming on.

Thank you so much for being here and thank you for being so brave for speaking out.

Thank you for giving

reform-minded Muslims a chance to have their voice.

I think we're on the same page about that.

I mean, I've been having this fight with liberals for years.

I think they're coming over to our side now.

You think so?

I do, because you know, I've been framing it in the way of, you know, be a liberal.

Liberals are the people who are supposed to be fighting oppression.

I tried to introduce this term everyday terrorism, because I think when people think about terrorism, they think about ISIS.

But,

you know, in most of the Muslim world, there are no bombs going off, but there are maids who can be raped with impunity,

wives who can be beaten, gay people who can't come out of the closet.

You can't be a blogger or maybe you're going to lose your life.

I mean, this is what you're talking about here in that brilliant video that I showed.

Absolutely.

And, you know, thanks.

It was actually a part of your show that inspired Clarion Project to make this video.

It was your clip with Ben Affleck.

When I looked at it for the first time, I thought, man, you need to have some reformist voices on your show.

No, I know.

There I am.

I know.

And I'm so glad you said that because,

you know,

I bent over backwards trying to have the other side.

And what I should be doing is giving more voices to people like yourself.

We've had Azra Nomani on the show.

We had Ayana Herce Elliot, a lot of great people.

But yes,

in that video, you do say, I don't need

celebrities defending me.

I need defense against people in my own religion who want to kill me.

Absolutely.

And this is going to add to that list by the way.

I've seen me on your show.

Just so that you know.

I think it's very important that we note that you live in Canada.

Yes.

And all the voices that we hear like this are usually from people who don't live in their native lands because if they did, they might be dead.

Absolutely.

We came to North America to embrace liberal democracy, the freedom, the pluralism, most importantly freedom of expression and gender equality.

And we do have it here.

But we need to fight for those who are fighting against these odds.

And in order to do that, we have to have statistics like by the numbers, a brilliant film.

And it's so great what you show, which is that I think, you know, I talk to a lot of liberals.

They come up to me at parties.

They want to talk about this.

And I think they have some very bad ideas about what's going on in the world.

And one of them is that it's just a few bad apples.

And you show that, no, bad ideas, unfortunately, are not confined just to the terrorists.

These ideas, like you said, leaving the religion gets you killed.

Being gay can get you killed.

Theocracy, the marriage of

mosque and state.

Absolutely.

And in terms of women's rights, according to the same Pew Research poll, they found that 37% of the Muslims surveyed said that if a wife was unfaithful or had adultery or a premarital sex, it was okay and acceptable to kill her.

So when you think of that mindset, that's almost 300,000 people.

300 million.

300 million people, yes.

So the numbers are important.

They are.

The numbers are there not to demonize people, not to scare people, but to tell the truth and to say, these are the odds that we are up against.

And when I say we, I mean we reform-minded Muslims, the Muslim reform movement, who are the frontline warriors in this battle against radical jihadists.

Mr.

Sue, I'm trying to defend people who just want to live in the 21st century.

Yes.

And it's so hard in so many places.

I think Americans, what they see is American Muslims who are very lucky.

They live in a place where you can leave the religion without getting killed.

Or you could not wear a hijab if you, did I say that wrong?

Hijab.

If you don't want to.

Or you can come out of the closet if you want to.

But these are not options available for most Muslims around the world.

They're not, yes.

And that's true.

And I found my voice and my freedom when I came to North America, to Canada about 28 years ago.

And the fact that I I have male support both in my family and my children and from the outside.

Because without engaging the men, we can't bring about change in the issues of women's rights, which is very close to my heart.

Right.

And it is the men.

I read this

brilliant op-ed piece in the New York Times a few weeks ago by Camille.

Okay, I think he's Algerian, and he was talking about, he said it, right out, he said, there's a sickness in the Muslim world.

The sentence that amazed me was he said, the path to orgasm is not through love, but through death.

Well, there's a lot of sexual deprivation, there's a lot of sexual oppression, and then it manifests itself in very violent ways.

You know, when you oppress people, when you suppress their natural urges, it manifests itself.

And in this case, unfortunately, it manifests itself in violence against women.

And that is one of the issues that we are fighting through films like Honor Diaries that was made by the Clarion Project.

Yes, and what about the film that won the short documentary at the Oscars?

That has been brilliant.

So, Sharmino wedge.

It's called The Girl in the River.

Yes,

it's about honor killings.

It is.

Are unfortunately more common than we think, right?

What is an honor killing?

Well, an honor killing is when a girl, usually a female, sometimes it's also males, by the way, is killed in the family because it's deemed that she has done something that has dishonored that culture.

It's a tribal practice that has existed for thousands of years, and in many parts of the world, where these tribal practices still exist, it goes on.

And that can be just being raped, right?

Yes, it can be.

They blame her.

But, you know, that is an extreme.

It could even be something simply as turning and looking at a boy, or talking to a boy, or

speaking to a neighbor's boy, or doing anything that is deemed dishonorable.

But this frightening thing is, Bill, that it's not just happening out there.

It's happening here in America.

It's happening in Canada.

And that is what

these honor killings.

Right.

There have been

Western countries.

Yes, almost half a million cases of female genital mutilation right here in America.

So we have a huge problem ahead of us.

And if we're going to be politically correct and beat around the bush and deflect from the issue, we won't be able to address it.

So in order to bring about a change, we have to address the problem head on.

And I think maybe we agree on

Maybe we agree on this also.

You know, Donald Trump, I think, is a very dangerous man with some very dangerous ideas, including his ideas about Muslims.

I don't think we should bar all Muslims from entering this country.

We need Muslims in the fight against terrorism.

But I will say this, and I've said it before on this show, if Americans have to choose between a party that won't even say the phrase Islamic terrorism and Donald Trump, especially if there is another attack, they'll choose Donald Trump.

And then things are going to get even worse for Muslims.

So it is in their own best interest to come out on the side of principles that are liberal, democratic, Western principles.

Absolutely, I agree with you.

There are two things I want to say about Donald Trump.

One, that he's an equal opportunity offender.

Yes.

And secondly,

you know, this is considered to be the first world, the civilized world, but he is really fudging that line about civility.

He really is.

Yes, I'm a grandmother.

You know, I had to cover my ears and some of the conversation.

I'm still pretty old-fashioned that way, but you know, come on.

This is a presidential election.

So that's all I have to say.

You'll never catch me saying a square word.

I know.

I know.

And not in my presence at all.

Not in your presence.

But you're absolutely right.

What we have to do is look at the deeper picture.

We have to look and see.

Perhaps Muslim Americans need to sit together and discuss, you know, what is it that brought this around?

You know, is it that something has been festering for a long time?

Is there a problem within the house of Islam?

And that is a question that many Muslims don't want to address.

That, you know, the question might, to look inwards, that reflection is very healthy for the soul.

It's very good for us because it teaches us how to be better human beings.

And it teaches us that we have a serious problem that we need to address.

And we need to find solutions with the people from the outside.

Well, you're a great spokesman for it.

You're brilliant at what you do.

You're doing God's work.

And if you ever need someone to stand with you, I'm right here.

Rahil Raza.

All right, thank you.

Let's meet our panel.

All right, here they are.

He's a senior contributor for the Daily Caller and author of Too Dumb to Fail, How the GOP Won Elections by Sacrificing Its Ideas.

How timely to have Matt Lewis here tonight.

She is the congresswoman representing Maryland's 4th District, currently running for a seat in the U.S.

Senate.

I bet she's going to win it.

Representative Donna Edwards.

And he hosts NPR's All Things Considered, Ari Shapiro with us for the first time.

All right, remember to send us your questions for tonight's overtime so you can answer them after the show on YouTube.

Okay, so let's get right to it.

The Republican Party having an existential crisis.

They are very upset that half their voters want to give nuclear weapons to a guy who gets into Twitter feuds with D-list celebrities.

And we understand that.

I almost feel bad for them, except I really don't because

they brought it on themselves.

They made a Faustian bargain with the racist devil many years ago, and now those chickens are coming home to roost.

Let me read what Paul Ryan said

this week.

He said, if a person wants to be the nominee of the Republican Party, they must reject any group or cause that is built on bigotry.

This party does not prey on people's prejudices.

L-O-L.

No.

To which I would say to him, what about voter ID laws?

What about once defending the guy who gets shot, the black guy unarmed, instead of the cop?

You know, I mean, who are they kidding?

This is the party they are, and Trump is just the latest.

No, I think there's a huge split right now, and you're seeing it.

I think people like yours truly, like Ben Sasse, like Paul Ryan, like Marco Rubio, are very much a solutions-based conservative party that rejects this stuff.

I think Donald Trump is playing up white identity politics, this nationalist populist thing, and the fact that so many.

You're saying that was never in the party?

This just wasn't well.

Like, I just wrote a book about the dumbing down of the Republican Party and the conservative movement.

So there's no doubt that there's always been some of this around, a strain of this.

But I do think that it would be unfair to say that Republicans brought this on.

I think Donald Trump in many ways is a hostile takeover of the party.

He's actually really, I think it's a departure.

I think there's always been this loose coalition in the Republican Party of the libertarians, the evangelicals, the social, the hawks, the, you know, and they've all sort of somehow been held together until this week.

And I actually think this week was the most consequential week in American politics, perhaps in my entire life, because you're seeing one of America's two big parties literally coming apart at the seams.

And you're seeing the guy who came out of Super Tuesday on top being disavowed by his predecessor as a Republican nominee, the guy before that, John McCain, Paul Ryan, the House Speaker, a bunch of foreign policy experts within the Republican Party.

You're talking about a contested convention.

I've just accepted

all of these people Ari

said that they would vote for him if he's the nominee.

Well, yeah.

And so

all of that talk.

He's a cancer on the party, and he's got rivals.

That's right.

All of that talk.

You're right, though.

And that's cognitive.

That's discordance, cognitive.

But you're not going to vote for Hillary.

No, I wouldn't vote for Hillary in good conscience, but I would not vote for Donald Trump in good conscience.

And there are a lot of conservatives.

So you're not planning to cast a vote?

I may not.

They're assuming Trump is not either, though.

I'm not just assuming Trons.

The problem with Trump is he redefines.

He's going to be your nominee.

Well, let's hope not.

But he redefines what it means to be a conservative.

And look, there are a lot of conservatives, you know, that really care deeply about things, defending the unborn, whether or not you agree with abortion or not, who care about things like free markets, who care about lower taxes.

I mean, legitimate policy issues.

And what Donald Trump does is this white identity politics nationalist thing that is very...

I mean, the guy retweeted.

He retweeted Mussolini.

Very not new.

Very not new.

Let's get back to that.

It's not new.

It was called the Southern Strategy when Nixon did it.

Reagan started his campaign in Philadelphia, Mississippi.

It's always been a winking campaign to get white, poor people mostly, who have a resentment to vote racially.

So let's not pretend this is new.

And also...

I think it's very funny that...

It is interesting.

We're running against two old white people, and you had an African-American who just dropped out running in the Republican Party, two Hispanics.

I would say say that the Republican Party, at least if you look at the people who are running for president, much more diverse.

The two Hispanics

want to put other Hispanics on cattle cars and throw them out of the country.

And I think that's right.

And I think it's true.

I mean, this was a marriage that was made following the Voting Rights Act.

It's a marriage that was made when Lyndon Johnson recognized that we would never win the South again.

Republicans made their bed, and now they are are not just lying in it, they're swimming in it.

But in 2012, the Republican Party said, we need to do something different.

After Mitt Romney lost the election, they did this post-mortem, all the

autopsy, exactly.

And they said,

we need to appeal more to Hispanics.

We need to appeal more to women.

We need to emphasize social issues less.

But the base had other ideas.

And what you're seeing now is the base and the leadership having completely different methods of where it's going to be.

And that's the point.

They always said it's a big tent.

To me, it's more like a house.

Think of it more like a house.

And they let the racists have a room in that house.

They didn't go in that room with all the Nazi memorabilia.

But they made a very comfortable room in there, and now they took over the house, and the regular Republicans were afraid to go to the kitchen at night to get a snack.

Because look who's living in your house.

Well, and clearly they could see.

You know, Bill, clearly they could see this happening over the course of the campaign.

And up until just the last couple of weeks, no one said anything about it.

And so I think it's actually too late to turn back that call.

Look, again, I just wrote a book about the dumbing down of conservatism, about the, you know, so the book's called Too Dumb to Fail.

You're one of the good ones.

The book's called Too Dumb to Fail, and it's about the Republican Party.

But I would say, one of the things you're seeing with Donald Trump is he is bringing in new voters.

So these are not Republican-based voters.

In some cases, these are former Democrats who are working-class white voters.

And by the way, let me say, I think they're pissed off in some cases about legitimate issues.

They're pissed off about political correctness run amok.

They're pissed off about the fact that there's radical Islamism out there.

And they're very afraid of terrorism.

So I don't agree.

I do not agree with the Donald.

I think Donald Trump is an authoritarian, but some of his voters have legitimate concerns.

You know what they're also pissed off at is that for years they swallowed what the Republicans were selling them, conservative principles.

This is why Mitt Romney's the worst spokesman that could get.

Yeah, I agree.

And, you know, I think, remember Joe the Plumber?

Joe the Plumber's the perfect example.

He actually bought that bullshit.

Joe the Plumber, who didn't even have a job, didn't have a plumber's license, but he hated fucking Obama because Obama was going to raise taxes on people who made over $250,000 a year.

They were killing Joe on the imaginary business in his head.

And this is the poor schmuck that they fooled for all those years.

And now this guy hears Donald Trump, and he's like, oh yeah,

that's right.

But what you're talking about is a white working class, which is certainly part of Donald Trump's appeal, but it is not the entirety of it.

When you look at the exit polls, the people supporting Trump in the Republican primary cover a wide range of groups.

The Trump voters include evangelicals, well-educated people, less educated people, higher-income, lower-income.

This is not just about the white working class.

Donald Trump is a weird amalgam of things that people might like.

He's a celebrity.

He's a billionaire/slash economic genius because he has a lot of money.

He's a racist and he's a non-politician.

You put all that together.

People like all those things.

I was just

conservative ideology.

And

you can pull from a number of different segments to bring that together.

The problem is that

the leadership Republicans never bothered to separate that.

And so now you've got it all in one package.

And again, I don't think that there's any turning back from this.

I think it is going to be the death knell of the Republican Party.

The Republican Party could be coming apart.

What could be unraveling?

What do you do about this dilemma?

That if Trump gets to the convention, even if he doesn't have the exact number he needs, so it goes to a second ballot, but still he was the clear winner of the most delegates, what are you going to do?

Because if you deny his voters, now they're the bath party in Iraq

after we disbanded them, and now they have nothing to do but bitch and start ISIS.

What do you do?

All this talk about we're going to stop Trump.

How?

What are you going to get Iron Man involved?

I mean, how are you going to stop Trump?

And if you do, what about those angry people?

This is what is so incredible about this moment is that nobody knows.

You look at what's going to happen at the convention in Ohio.

Okay, well, people say we'll deny Trump the nomination.

And then what?

Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio?

Nobody knows.

That's what makes this so...

utterly bizarre, unheard of, and also fun time for people.

That's not how it's going to be.

Countries falling apart when it's a fun time to cover politics.

Really, it is, but that's not how people vote.

I mean, once people have made that commitment, they're not just going to say, well, I was wrong and I'm going to go with the other guy.

I think they've made that commitment, and I think it would be very difficult to undo the commitment of those delegates.

This could make the 1968 convention look like children.

You know, this is something

that the founding fathers feared the most, that the people, the actual people, could get a hold of the,

you know, and bring the wrong people in.

I mean, that discussion we were having up front is interesting because, like, in a lot of countries in the Middle East,

Egypt recently, Algeria in the 90s, yes, let's have democracy.

And they let the people vote and they elected the wrong guy.

They elected some untenable goon, some religious nut, and the army had to take over.

And now the Republican Party has the same problem.

We gave the power to the people and they elected the wrongdoers.

We need guy.

We need superdelegates.

That's right.

Where are the superdelegates?

This whole system that empowered empowered Trump was created in order to let the establishment guy win.

They changed the schedule because in 2012,

Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, they were holding on.

They were holding on.

They said, no, let's let the guy with the money have a chance to close it up early.

That's not how it went.

Well, one of the sources of the establishment Republicans who are against Trump is the Weekly Standard.

Almost all their establishment people are.

But they're trying everything.

They found this week, they dug up this.

Look at this.

Vanity Fair article from 1990, Trump kept a volume of Hitler's speeches by his bedside.

Yeah.

Now, I didn't know if this was true, so I said, you know, I've seen a lot of Hitler's speeches on, you know, old documentaries and stuff, but I don't Spreckensy German.

I don't know what he was saying.

So I had one of Hitler's speeches translated into English, and I think this tells us a lot about where Donald Trump is getting his ideas.

Look at this Hitler speech, and we've translated it for you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We're going to make Germany great again.

That I can tell you, believe me.

Germany doesn't win anymore.

England, France, America, they're laughing at us.

The Treaty of Versailles, a terrible deal.

We have stupid people who are our leaders, really stupid people making terrible deals.

President Hindenburg, he's a stiff, very low energy.

He built a blimp with his name on it.

It was a total disaster.

Look, we are going to have a military so big and so strong that we'll never have to use it.

Okay, maybe we'll use it a little.

Look, we don't conquer anymore.

We don't annex territory.

When I'm Fuhrer, Germany is going to annex again.

There's going to be so much annexing, you're going to get sick of annexing.

And look, I love the Jews.

Nobody loves the Jews more than me.

But folks, either we have a fatherland or we don't.

So we're going to have to build a camp, and I will make the Jews pay for it.

When I'm done with them, they'll be saying Merry Christmas, that I can tell you.

All right.

She is an actress and comedian.

Boy, some actress.

And one great comedian who was nominated for a SAG Award well deserved her role in the film I Smile Back.

Sarah Silverman is over here.

Yes, I am.

I am my friend.

Yes.

Look how how popular you are.

The people love you.

You could be president.

What's up?

Really?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Hilary Sarin.

Okay.

But listen, I have to tell you, that movie you did, unbelievable.

You are a real actress.

And I mean, I don't know if people knew that.

I knew it.

I saw you in other things.

But this is a real...

You saw me in a two-part Star Trek Voyager, I think.

I saw you in that.

Yes, I saw you in many things.

And I have to say, well, I really wanted to ask you, is this something, because I don't, as long as I've known you, I don't know when you started out as a comedian if this was what you were aiming for, or did it just come about because you saw other people act and said, I could do that.

The latter.

Really?

You never wanted to.

No, I, you know, lovely.

I always wanted to be an actress, but I wasn't doing stand-up to get seen to be an actress.

I mean, I'm a comic.

That's who I am.

It's like being gay.

You're born that way.

Right.

Not in this movie, but yeah, I do other things too.

I like to think of myself as someone who does odd jobs, you know.

So, like, yeah, I love acting.

I do.

I, you know, I used to spend my

childhood, my teen years in New Hampshire up in my room crying and doing Emily's speech from the end of our town.

But,

you know, mostly I am funny.

You're really sharing with us tonight.

No, we didn't plan to design that.

But I am really excited about the movie, and I hope I get it.

No, it's a great rest.

There you are, look at that.

And I gotta ask, why the Hitler hair?

I was purposely wearing Hitler hair to take back the night.

To take back the night.

Yeah, I get it.

Okay.

Hitler was a wonder who was a vegetarian.

People only mention the bad things.

So when you do a role like that, which is so heavy,

do you, as they say, leave it on the set?

Do you take it home to your hunky British boyfriend?

Ram.

I didn't recognize.

No, I'm not.

I don't have my 10,000 hours in of dramatic acting, so I can't, I don't have easy access to those emotions and then just put them back in a drawer.

They're very tightly, compactly placed inside me.

So once they were out, they were just on my lap you always hear Tom Hanks is like the life of the party and then they call action and he's Captain Phillips I don't have those skills yet

but

I'm sure Tom Hanks will come over and help you so let's talk politics because I know you care deeply and you've been a Bernie supporter yes I am a Bernie supporter

I find it very interesting that if Donald Trump is the nominee, he will be the most disliked nominee in history, and Hillary would be the second most disliked.

The only nominee in either party who is liked by more people than not, than disliked, is Bernie Sanders.

Isn't it the unelectable one?

I don't find him unelectable.

I think that's something

I don't know who's perpetuating this unelectable thing.

The media thing.

The damn media.

The Jew-run media.

I miss them.

He, yeah, isn't it funny?

He's really popular

with both sides.

Everyone likes him, and he's not for sale, not playing the game, and says what he means.

And he, you know, those YouTube videos of him on the Senate floor, you know, questioning the, you know, Obama's choice for the head of the FDA or Alan Greenspan, all that stuff, it's so kick-ass.

And what about the civil rights video?

I mean, he was.

Listen, he's been on the right side of history at every turn.

Not along with history, not when it becomes popular, but before it's popular.

And I like that.

Listen.

Listen.

Why aren't you?

Hillary was my guy.

Hillary was my candidate.

I like Hillary.

This isn't an anti-Hillary thing.

I just, an alternative came along.

You know,

all the baseball players use steroids, so then all the baseball players use steroids, so that's an even, so they can compete.

And that's how I think of Citizens United.

You know, Hillary takes money from banks and big business and super PACs.

So did Barack Obama.

She's no different than anybody else.

She was the best choice, I thought, considering they all do it.

Then someone came along who doesn't take steroids, who is not for sale,

who just speaks the truth.

You know, the big, heavy stuff and the big, the big, the people that inspire people and the people that,

you know, are, you know, Gandhi didn't have a complex message.

It's pretty simple.

It's just the honest truth.

You know, his concern isn't

his coffers.

It's not elections.

It's not whatever.

It's just his,

he is indebted to no one except for the American people.

That's his thing.

And I, yeah, Gandhi.

No, Bernie.

Okay.

Did I say Gandhi?

So why is he not catching on with African Americans, Bernie?

They're not feeling the burn.

I don't know.

Do you, there's, I think Killer Mike is African American.

Well, that's one.

I know, that's one.

Spike Lee is one.

I'm not going to name names.

I just suddenly felt like I said, I have black friends.

I have black friends.

Look, I don't know.

I'm just an actor.

A great, great,

great dramatic actor.

You are.

Look, I'm not trying to be someone who's like all into politics.

I just happen to be into politics.

I grew up in New Hampshire and I've had a lot of people.

Let me ask you one more political question.

I got really worked up.

All right.

Donald Trump.

Donald Trump said last week that he was audited by the IRS, possibly because of my strong Christian faith.

Those are Christians.

Why can't we just give them their religious freedom?

Yes.

I know.

They're only 80% of the country.

When will they go?

And you know that's such an anti-Semitic slight.

Like, everyone knows Jews are auditors.

Right, that's what I think.

Exactly.

Yes.

Okay.

I'm glad you said it.

All right.

Now I have a question about Hillary for you and the panel.

What?

What?

Who's my buddy?

You mean buddy?

You know, he seems like a big, smart guy, is Bill Moore, but if you just tickle his belly, that's crazy.

All right, sorry.

Hillary Clinton.

That's space cereal.

Okay.

What about Elizabeth Warren Warren for vice president?

If it is Hillary,

I think this solves all of Hillary's problems because one, energizes the base, olive branch to the Bernie people, and her big

thing that they go attack her on is Wall Street connections.

Well,

who can solve that more than Elizabeth Warren?

I'm appointing Elizabeth Warren as my special ambassador to fuck with Wall Street.

She's so badass, and she must be played

by.

Oh, I just suddenly went playing.

That's okay.

We all smoke.

Annette Benning.

She must be played by Annette Benning.

But what you're talking about is things that would help her in the primary.

No, I'm talking about the general election.

You know what?

Elizabeth Warren is actually like a couple months younger than Hillary, which is old.

Very old.

I think that she needs to balance a ticket.

Julianne Castro.

That is old.

What does that have to do with Elizabeth?

What does that

anything?

She's a heartbeat away from the presidency.

Anything.

Right.

That's a heartbeat away from the front.

I'm sorry, but it's like okay for old white guys to be a heartbeat away, but not for

a while.

You would pick.

No, no, if you were an old white guy, you would probably pick Marco Rubio as your running mate.

Can I just tell you, being an old white guy is like so far from my imagination.

You know,

I'm just a middle-aged black woman trying to get into the Senate.

But

I think this is old thinking about balancing the ticket.

This is the idea that there are all these persuadable, independent voters out there.

That's not how you win elections.

Every election in America now is a hate fuck.

And this election is going to be the biggest hate fuck of them all.

It's all going to be people who either hate Hillary or hate Trump, and that's how you get people out to the polls.

Energize your people.

There are no persuadables out there.

Don't get an adult.

I'm not talking about balancing it ideologically.

I'm talking about, in terms of age, I would go with Julianne Castro or something.

Somebody who's young and energetic.

Because look, Barack Obama is this young, was this young, exciting,

was, this young, exciting president.

Now the Democratic Party has to go backwards generationally.

And that rarely happens in American politics.

Well, look, first of all, Hillary as a first woman president is a huge step forward.

And

I think that getting through this primary election, she will have a range of choices.

Maybe Elizabeth Warren is one.

I think you're right that we really do, as Democrats, need somebody who's going to give us the passion so that we show up to vote, and that's going to be really important.

Can I show you what I mean about a clear choice?

And I think politicians do best when there's a clear choice.

Show the video.

We put a little montage of people getting thrown out of Trump rallies.

And this is just some ugly stuff.

I mean, you know, I would just like to say we were kidding about Hitler before, but there's been this idea for a long time that you can't ever compare anybody to Hitler.

If you do that, you're outside the marketplace of ideas unless it fits.

I think we should be absolutely able to compare Donald Trump to Hitler, because this is very Hitler-y, which is what's going on in these rallies.

Okay,

so then I saw Hillary Clinton speak this week and she said something I thought was pretty amazing.

Show the Hillary Clip, please.

I believe what we need in America today is more love and kindness.

And I heard that and I always said, yes, thank you.

A woman saying the thing that makes me, even as a man, go, yeah, that's why a woman president would be different and good.

Play the vagina card.

This has been...

Love and kindness, a different way to go.

This has been part of her campaign from the beginning, in contrast to 2008.

In 2008, the campaign was all about I can be tough too.

And this year, the campaign is all about, I'm a grandmother.

I

understand the struggles of women who are trying to work and raise a family.

She is running in a very different way, embracing the loving kindness.

I also think what she's doing there is pivoting to the general election.

It is a clear contrast to Donald Trump, who she is.

Mostly what I think of Hillary as is a hawk.

I don't think of her as love and kindness and playing playing that card.

And I'm so glad to see her do it.

Yeah, she's smart.

But also, I mean, I think she has

both sides, and I think it's really important for her to convey that part of herself.

I mean, sure, I mean, she may have to do the hawk thing on

military stuff, that's true.

But there's a lot of the job that's really about empathizing with people and demonstrating that you have walked in their shoes, that you share their perspective.

And I was glad to hear her say that, and I think that she should fully embrace being a woman and not apologize.

She also said a great thing.

She said,

America,

you know, we all hear Donald Trump say, we're going to make America great.

And she said, America never stopped being great.

Yeah.

How about that?

Can I say something about the Hitler thing, though?

Absolutely.

I think you're right.

Look, I mean, obviously.

You're right about Hitler.

He was wrong.

He was a very bad man.

Yes.

Consensus on the panel.

It's fraught with danger to bring him up for obvious reasons, but I do think it's incumbent upon us to always be vigilant because democracy is fragile.

We're a generation away from losing it.

And have you seen the videos that juxtapose the way that Donald Trump carries himself, his body language, and Mussolini?

Very similar.

It's uncanny.

Yes.

And people talk about Berlusconi, whether it's Hitler or Mussolini, there's something that he's tapping into.

I think he studied demagogues and is actually tapping into some of it.

And he's proved it.

Yeah.

So let me ask about another guy who, at the debate last night really set himself apart, John Kasich.

Is it possible, is it possible that people have had enough of the kindergartners and actually would come over to John Kasich's side?

Like in the romantic comedy, you were there all along.

I didn't see you, but it was always you.

But the question has come along for what?

On March 15th, Florida and Ohio vote.

They're both winner-take-all states.

Maybe John Kasich can win Ohio.

He doesn't look anywhere close to winning Florida.

And at this point, given how many delegates Trump has already, I mean, can collectively Trump, can collectively Rubio, Cruz, Kasich get enough delegates to deny Trump a majority?

Perhaps.

Can Kasich outright get a majority?

No.

But in a broker convention,

because he's the one who ran.

He was the one who was in it.

The arena thing.

He has those credentials.

So if they get to that convention, and it's not going to be Trump and it's not going to be the other guys who are...

Look, if you you can start off with a senator from Florida and a governor of Ohio running at the top of your ticket, maybe Ted Cruz gets to be a Supreme Court nominee or the Attorney General.

Look,

I think if we were really paying, let's not cut that deal.

I think if we really started to pay attention to Kasich, what we would find is one, a governor in Ohio, who says that he governed from the center but did not.

And we would find a history in the United States House of Representatives that took apart

support for working families.

And I think that would all play out over the course.

I think we're making it up just because he's a nice guy in the house.

But he did with Bill Clinton, balanced the budget for the only four years in modern history, working across the aisle with Bill Clinton as the chairman of the budget committee.

You got to admit, yes, go ahead.

Oh, thank you.

It's here, Joe.

This is what I don't understand, and maybe I'm not understanding something.

Why aren't Bernie and Hillary debating with

Rubio and Cruz and Trump?

This would really inform a lot of people's decisions, and why don't they do that now?

I want to see Bernie talking to these people.

Because you're so right, because when it's only a Republican debate,

it can be completely fact-free.

I mean, they say things.

Although yesterday, Fox did a really good job of fact-checking during the debate.

They put up on the screen.

Trump said,

Trump said, I'm going to get rid of the deficit by cutting the EPA and the Department of Education.

And Fox put up, here's the budget of the EPA, here's the budget of the Republican Education.

You know what?

And cut the agency that's supposed to keep from poisoning the water.

Yeah, and they're in Michigan and nobody is.

And they're in Michigan.

And Megan Kelly, if you're really such a serious person, ask one question about the environment, the most important issue of our environment.

Look, they waited so late to even

in

Michigan, they took so long to even get to a question about children being poisoned

in Michigan, and then they blamed Democrats for it.

I have to cut this off.

From a science denier, sorry.

Go.

Thank you, panel.

It's time for a new rule.

You would be a great co-host.

When we do our morning show, it's going to be amazing.

Except neither one of us gets up in the morning.

New Rule, Whole Foods can order a recall of its blue cheese because it's bad, but first they have to tell me, when was blue cheese good?

Really, I can see the bacteria.

It's not even cheese, it's a cruise ship for your mouth.

Too far.

Too far.

New rule, since Donald Trump's success has caused a 1,000%

increase in the Google search of how to move to Canada,

we must shift our focus from a southern border wall to keep Mexicans out and start thinking about a northern border wall to keep Americans in.

Oh, you Canadians are going to love it when half a million liberals in yoga pants

swarm across your border.

They won't just demand asylum.

They'll also demand gluten-free pumpernickel and a job that lets them bring their dog to work.

New rule, hey, white people, stop jumping in your family pictures.

Trust me, your manufactured enthusiasm fools no one.

Everyone knows mom is having an affair, dad is addicted to porn, and that 10-year-old eats anti-anxiety pills like Skittles.

New rule, frantically pushing the button over and over again won't make the elevator come any faster.

And guys, same goes for your girlfriend.

I was saying a different way, but similar.

New rules, someone must put out a new Where's Waldo style book, but instead of trying to spot Waldo in the park, you try to find the black person person at a Trump rally.

Yes, introducing where's Wendell?

Let's take a look.

Nope, can't spot Wendell there.

Nope, still don't see him.

Damn it, Wendell, where are you?

Oh, wait, there he is, being forcibly removed.

And finally, new rule, you can't spend the first half of a debate bitching about how immigrants are ruining the country and the second half on the uplifting stories of your immigrant parents.

The Republicans all talk about building walls and deportations and making people learn English.

And then John Kasich, my grandmother was an immigrant who could barely speak English.

Ted Cruz, my father was an immigrant from Cuba who didn't speak English.

Marco Rubia, my parents arrived with no money, barely speaking English.

And of course, Donald Trump.

My father was an orangutan from Borneo who didn't speak any English at all.

Yeah, it's pretty funny how Cruz and Rubio can wax nostalgic about their dishwasher father and hotel maid mom and in the next breath tell you who they want to kick out of the country maids and dishwashers and I must say this puzzles me because while Republicans generally do lack the empathy gene, that is the ability to see other people suffer and then make the complicated leap to, I wonder if that hurts.

There is an exception to this.

They do often get on the humane side of an issue when it hits them right in their own home.

For example, Dick Cheney.

is so conservative he got an artificial heart just to make sure he never felt sorry for anyone.

But he's a big supporter of gay marriage because he has a gay daughter and he needs to stay on her good side in case he needs a kidney.

Likewise, Jeb Bush has been very compassionate about Mexican immigrants.

because he married one.

One of the good ones, I'm sure.

Jeb also had a fairly enlightened drug policy because his daughter had a serious problem with cocaine.

Although, on the bright side, at least someone in that family is high energy.

But that is the pattern.

Jeb is a lockstep conservative, but enlightened on Mexicans because of the wife, and cool about drugs because of the daughter.

And of course, a strong supporter of special needs education because of his brother.

Or take the abortion issue.

Dan Quayle was 100% pro-life.

And then he was asked what he would do if his own daughter got pregnant and he said, quote, I would counsel her and talk to her and support her on whatever decision she made.

Oh, I see.

Your daughter gets a choice.

Unwanted children are for strangers.

You know, Lady Gaga sang a song at the Oscars Sunday called Till It Happens to You.

It's like that, it has to happen to them.

It explains why John McCain supports every form of war ever invented, and some he just fantasizes about in the shower.

But torture?

No.

Because he was tortured by Sarah Palin.

It explains why Ronald Reagan suddenly cared about AIDS only after it struck his friend Rock Hudson, and why Nancy Reagan got religion on stem cell research after Ronnie got Alzheimer's.

And it explains why Newt Gingrich gave up hunting after he married an owl.

On so many issues, you can only get Republican support if it touched one of their own,

which is not good news for the environment.

I've heard the question many times, when will Republicans stop denying climate change?

I'll tell you when, when one of them can be convinced they personally suffered from it.

And if the gods of irony are listening, please make this happen.

The oceans are dying, and all the fish in them are disappearing, which is why starving sharks swim closer to the shore now and bite more people.

And I'm sorry, but one of those people has to be Chris Christie.

Let him lose one of the arms he uses to shovel food into his mouth, and maybe he will realize we should do something about our dying oceans.

John Kasich wants a moratorium on all regulations.

Okay, but then please let there be some kind of mix-up with the pipes, and the only water John Kasich gets to drink from now on is from Flint, Michigan.

Let James Inhoff be mauled by a disoriented polar bear.

Let Rush Limbo get attacked by a swarm of dying bees, and the Koch brothers be swallowed up by a fracking-induced earthquake.

And to slap the global warming denial out of Marco Rubio, whose own state of Florida is one of the most likely places to be inundated by rising oceans, his own home must get flooded and Marco must be swept out to sea and washed up all the way back to Cuba, where we will find out that Marco Rubio really is Elian Gonzalez.

All right, that's our show.

I'll be at the Riverside in Milwaukee, June 5th, and then in Canada at the Jubilee in Calgary, June 25th, and the Jubilee in Edmonton, June 26th.

I want to thank my guests, Matt Lewis, Donna Edwards, Ari Japiro, Sarah Silberman, and Rahil Rossa.

Jordan is on YouTube or something.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.