Bonus Bill (Originally aired 2/12/16)

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Now it's time for Real Time 2.0, your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes America didn't hear.

Thank you very much.

Oh, my God.

But Bernie, wow, Bernie Sanders won a 22-point victory up there over Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire.

And yet, nobody's still giving him a chance.

I tell you, if the Jews control the media, they're doing a shitty shitty job of it.

Oh, man.

Now, this is the widest margin a Democrat has won and beat another Democrat since 1960.

If this election happened in Japan, Hillary's son would be kneeling over a sword right now.

And

Bill Clinton tried to stop the bleeding the week before and halt Bernie's progress by get this.

He accused Sanders' supporters of being sexist.

Bill Clinton did that.

Maybe not the best guy to make that charge.

It's like Donald Trump complaining that there's too much cursing on TV.

Now, of course,

as always,

after the New Hampshire primary, a lot of losers get out of the race.

You will not have media types.

You will not have Chris Christie to roll around anymore.

And Christie, that's sad because he worked hard up there.

He was, oh, he probably camped out there for six months trying to win that state.

You know, he visited every diner in the state.

Oh, you're way ahead of him.

And he also did some campaigning.

I'm saying he's a large man who eats a lot.

I don't know if anyone else has made that point.

And of course, Christie, before he went out, he whacked Marco Rubio in the last debate.

Did you see that?

Oh, it was just like a mob hit.

I don't know if he left left the gun, but he definitely took the cannoli.

Chris Christie.

And did you see the Super Bowl?

Beyonce was amazing, right?

I mean,

but

a controversy.

You know, people on the right, oh, thought she was attacking the police and it was reverse race, all this bullshit.

But everybody agrees the performance was brave.

Certainly a lot braver than Cam Newton when that fumble landed at his feet.

Thank you very much for coming.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.