Bonus Bill (Originally aired 2/5/16)

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now it's time for real-time 2.0 your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes america didn't hear

doing?

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Okay, all right.

What the crowd.

What a crowd.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, please.

Free entertainment in the middle of the day.

So

I know what that's really about.

But no, because you're a political group.

It's a political year.

We had a political week.

the Iowa caucus Monday it looks like finally the air may be out of the Trump bubble he's down nine points nationally see he had been selling this idea of winning winning winning for months I'm gonna win so much I'm gonna get tired of winning and then he forgot to do one thing win

so now

Now he's beatable.

Now people are saying, see, he's human.

Although, I wouldn't go that far.

I

No, he says we just misheard him.

What he was saying was, whine so much, you're going to get tired of whining.

And we are.

And I'm so fucking sick of New Hampshire and Iowa having these first primaries, these states where, you know, you have to go around and meet everybody personally.

Like, that's going to make a difference after the election.

Oh, they're going to call the White House.

Yeah, it's me, Larry.

Remember we met at the Dairy Queen in Cedar Rapids?

Here's what you should do about ISIS.

And here's the funniest part of the whole thing.

Dr.

Ben Carson did make a statement about this whole controversy, and he said, of course I wasn't dropping out, but I swear to God, I'm not making this up.

He said, I just wanted to go home to Florida to get a set of fresh clothes.

I don't think America is ready for a president who has not heard of dry cleaning yet.

I really don't.

Fresh clothes, really?

But it's so funny, the big winner apparently is the guy who came in third for the Republicans at Iowa, Marco Rubio.

Oh, he's got all the momentum.

He came in third.

No, Marco Rubio is so excited from the bounce he got from Iowa that he got Cheerios all over his car seat today.

He's young.

Thank you very much, and we'll do the new rules.

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