Overtime - Episode #365 (Originally aired 9/25/15) - Update

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Okay, we ran out of time, and before I get to these cards, I want to say we have two British people here today, and I wanted to ask about the scandal with David Cameron.

I knew you were going to.

Really?

Yes.

Have you heard about it?

Was it Lord Ashcroft?

He's a billionaire, gave a lot of money to the Tories.

I assume he's somewhat like British Koch brothers.

Yeah, he said he pays no tax in England.

Just like the Koch brothers.

He pays no tax.

No tax.

Wow.

He gave a lot of money to the Conservative Party, and then he was very pissed off.

Very pissed off.

When he was not really made a major figure of it.

And he apparently has gotten back at them by writing this memoir where he says the current Prime Minister, the Conservative David Cameron, when he was at Oxford, engaged in marijuana smoking, some kind of weird sex parties, and I guess as a hazing ritual, put his penis in the mouth of a pig.

Live pig?

No, a dead pig.

And a female pig.

There's nothing basically wrong with Cameron.

Exactly.

I don't know what the problem is.

In Cambridge, we did it with sheep.

Really?

So this is not unusual or to British people, this wouldn't sound weird.

Nothing other than that.

Very science.

Explain to me.

What actually seems weird about it to you?

Well, I mean, putting your penis in the mouth of a dead pig,

I was not a part of a fraternity system.

Well, I have to say

that from my point of view, the thought of putting my penis in a dead pig is impossible because I don't have one.

You know what's kind of funny, though?

I don't know.

The fact that it was a dead pig doesn't make it sound any better.

It's safer, but not better.

The British are different, aren't they?

They just aren't.

Some of them.

I know, but there's been so many pedophilia scandals lately with people in show business and power.

And, you know, here we just keep it to the church.

Not in Holland, not in Europe, it's all over the place.

Okay, let's get to the questions.

Ron Reagan, what explains the Republicans' obsession with your father?

Well, he's better than Nixon, I guess, if you're going going to have a year.

I mean, who else do they have, really?

But it's true.

Every election cycle, you know, they trot him out again.

He's like a fetish object.

They've all got to stroke the gipper.

Well, yeah.

Ooh.

Stroke the Ronnie there.

And then, of course, the question arises as to whether he would be welcome in today's Republican Party.

And I think if you look at the record, when he was governor of California, he signed a liberal abortion law as president.

He raised taxes after cutting them when he found out that raising them or cutting them didn't really work.

Amnesty for three million immigrants.

Offered to get our nukes down to nothing with garbage.

Yeah.

200 Marines killed in Lebanon and the barracks bombing.

He did not go to war in Iraq.

Cuttle ran.

Ran out of there, said what's going to happen.

And when an ozone hole opens up over the South Pole due to our putting chlorofluorocarbons into the atmosphere, that was a refrigerant, of course.

He did not decide that this was a liberal hoax designed to deprive us of cold beer.

Right.

He actually did something about it,

encouraged everybody else to do so, too.

So on that basis, I've got to think about what a giant liberal Ronald Reagan was.

He really was.

You forget, don't you?

Well, I mean, he also said Medicare was socialism that would rob us of our freedom.

Well, he had his moments.

Yeah, he had his moments.

But I mean, the dear departed Scott Walker, who we were just talking about, I mean, this guy loves Ronald Reagan to the point of, you're talking about a fetish.

He and his wife purposely got married on Reagan's birthday.

Isn't that good?

It is so sad.

It's like a single white female with a dead guy.

They like have parties on his birthday where they eat his favorite foods.

He's so creepy.

He had his picture in his college room.

I know.

It must make you a specialist.

No, I want to bathe.

Yeah, you just

need to get this man a shower.

Okay.

Then you go on about a guy just putting a penis.

Yeah, exactly.

You're right.

Priorities, John.

If Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire, does that unseat Hillary as the presumptive Democratic nominee?

No.

He's from the next state.

Spike, what is the best green car out there right now?

Good question.

Oh, wow, that's a good question.

Because diesel's now falling apart.

That's, you know, Volkswagen is going to stay in business, but diesel may not, just because of what's just happened.

Because these cars are all diesel, that they were.

These are only diesel, diesel cars, and there are 11 million of them.

There were 800,000, I think, or 500,000 here in the United States.

But it was only cars made from 2009 to 2015.

I'm so ignorant about cars and so behind on this stuff that I would never have bought a diesel car because I associate diesel still with the dirt.

It's like the truck with the big smoke.

That's what I think of as diesel.

But what they were selling.

But apparently it was.

It was, right.

It was.

They were selling clean diesel.

It's like when they said clean coal.

It never existed.

They just said the words together.

Clean coal.

They do exist.

What does?

There is clean diesel.

There's a substance you put in the diesel engine called urea, which is also what's in urine.

It's the same stuff.

They can synthesize it.

So it's literally a piss injection engine.

And this car didn't have it.

And everybody wondered, well, how did they they do it?

How did they do it without the urea?

And they did not.

So, but

here's what I would say.

The big winners

are a lot on this show.

You feel like you left here learning something.

Yeah, I never knew this about you.

This is so much better than television.

Here's what I would say, though.

The big winner in the scandal is our old friend the Prius.

Or even though, you know, it's been around for a long, it's a horrific car.

It's it's been around forever.

Electric cars are going to do well because of this, Tesla and everything else.

And then the Germans are coming with their electric cars in 2018.

So there's their comeback maybe.

Okay.

Jane, what ways can the average person get involved in animal conservation?

Oh, there's so many ways.

But the way I'm advocating is we have a program for young people.

We can fight and struggle and work to save animals, to save environments, but if the new generations coming up aren't going to be better stewards than we are, what's the point?

So we have this program, Roots and Shoots.

It's now in 140 countries.

What's it called?

Roots and Shoots.

Roots and Shoots.

Roots and Shoots.

Imagine a big tree.

Yes.

Think how it begins.

A little tiny seed.

Little tiny roots and shoots appear.

But the magic in that seed is so powerful that those little roots to reach the water can work through rocks and push them aside.

That little shoot to reach the sunlight can go through cracks in a brick wall and knock it down.

Hundreds and thousands of young people of all ages around the world choosing projects to make the world a better place, rolling up their sleeves, being empowered to take action.

That's what gives me the most hope.

Hundreds and hundreds of animals, because what we need to realize is that animals like us have personalities, they have feelings, happiness, sadness, fear, despair,

and we should respect them.

Sometimes our penis is in their mouths.

You're a bad man.

Listen, I'm going to challenge you.

Will you put your penis in the mouth of a dead

orangutan?

Ma'am, I'm an American.

John, what can you tell us about your new show with Eric Idol?

Oh, that's got to be awesome.

Nothing.

Now, why did you choose Eric as opposed to the other remaining?

I like him marginally better than the others.

And he's also very good at music.

Right.

So we need a little bit of song.

Always look on the bright side of life.

And we're going to trot it out in Florida because in Florida,

if we bomb, nobody will know, right?

No, they will.

I mean, you guys are big.

Whatever you do.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

No, no.

If we fail in Saratoga...

No, no.

Sarasota.

Yeah, I played there.

Believe me.

It's a real place.

Nothing's private anymore.

Did you ever read

any newspapers about a bad review of the Sarasota bugle?

You say that a bugle.

No, I think you're underestimating how anticipated this show is.

Sure, yeah.

Well, it's not very good.

Lowering expectations.

This is

no,

I'm just telling the truth.

I'm bored with all the bullshit.

It's not a very good show.

It's what we call sit-down comedy.

Is it new material?

Well, the material is from about 1967.

It's not new, but it's not well known.

Post-war.

Post-war.

Post-war.

I think you're being very modest because you and Erica are...

It is charming, isn't it?

Are the Lennon...

From a huge star.

You two are the Lennon and McCartney of comedy, and I would walk about a thousand miles to see them.

All right.

We gotta go.

Thank you very much, everybody.

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