Bonus Bill (Originally aired 4/10/15)

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Speaker 2 Now it's time for Real Time 2.0. Your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes America didn't hear.

Speaker 2 Oh, please, thank you very much.

Speaker 2 Wow, what a crowd.

Speaker 2 Good crowd, huh? Oh, man, I love the Thursday crowds.

Speaker 3 I think I know why they're happy today.

Speaker 3 I don't know why. Now, the president did something very interesting today for the

Speaker 3 gay community. He came out against gay reparative therapy.
You know what that is? It's known as praying away the gay. Yes.

Speaker 3 Now this is very important because it states once and for all that being gay is not a mental disorder that prayer can work to fix.

Speaker 3 Now we just got to get rid of the mental disorder that says prayer can fix anything.

Speaker 3 A mixed response on that.

Speaker 3 President, you know where he is today? Jamaica, man.

Speaker 3 Fuck yeah, he's in Jamaica.

Speaker 3 And he went to the Bob Marley Museum.

Speaker 3 He did. He told the tour guy that he still has all his old Bob Marley albums.
He said, as president, you know, I can't talk up anymore,

Speaker 3 but I can still sniff the albums.

Speaker 3 Oh, bad news on that front. If you live here in LA, they closed down 500 medical marijuana shops.
Can you believe that?

Speaker 3 I know, I know, isn't that wrong? Meanwhile, you can get Botox injections from a fucking dog groomer.

Speaker 3 In South Carolina, yet another unarmed black man shot by a cop. And you saw this video where the guy's just

Speaker 3 as he's running away. And this time it's so blatant, even other cops came out against this guy.
They said, shooting an unarmed black guy, sure.

Speaker 3 But in the back, come on, that's not who we are.

Speaker 3 No, even Fox News said it was a tragedy, tragedy and they're not defending this guy. They said, no, we want this guy in jail, this cop.

Speaker 3 He said, it's a good thing we're locking up America's last remaining races.

Speaker 3 And finally, today, anyone from the South?

Speaker 3 All right, man.

Speaker 4 Today.

Speaker 3 Today is the 150th anniversary of the

Speaker 3 South surrendering in the Civil War. And boy, when they find out, they are going to be pissed.
All right. Thank you very much.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.