Overtime - Episode #347 (Originally aired 3/20/15)

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Okay, we are back on the internet.

What does the panel think of Obama's musings this week about mandatory voting?

You'll have a lot of uninformed people voting.

We do now.

Yeah.

You'll multiply that number.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know about that because I don't think unless they, you know, you...

Why are they going to come to arrest you if you don't?

Fine.

Right.

It'd be a fine.

In Australia, they do this mandatory voting.

It would be a fine.

That's what they do.

Why wouldn't you want to have 35 or 40 percent of the electorate voting that really did know something as opposed to a hundred percent just going in and stamping whatever?

I mean, I think we have to do something.

I don't think it's kind of un-American, actually, mandatory voting, but we have to do something.

We have to make voter registration easier.

We probably should think about moving elections to the weekends when people aren't going to work and run.

Well, absolutely.

Of course, the problem with that is that one party, I'm not going to say which one, does not want want more people to be able to do that.

One party, they shall not.

That is so bill.

Are you really telling us that to the Republican party?

We want the same thing the Democrats want, which is more of our people to vote and less of yours.

You do.

That's what both parties want.

But I think part of being American is exercising freedom not to vote.

And the libertarian in me says, you know what, if I don't want to vote, that's voting in itself.

It's saying a statement.

And I shouldn't be forced to vote for the vote.

You wouldn't want it to be mandatory, but

this is off the top of my head, but didn't something like 80% of the eligible voters vote in the presidential election of 1960, Kennedy Nixon?

Something like 80%?

No.

I think so.

Absolutely not.

Not 80.

Maybe 60.

60%.

I think it was more than that.

Let's have a bet.

Let's have a bet.

Now, if only there was only one thing,

considerably more than we've done over in the past generation.

Let's get someone to get in on this.

If only we were living in the future, Bob, and there's a way to look stuff like that up quickly on your phone.

And when you are including 80%, are you including the Chicago votes?

So

let me look that up and tell us in the next minute or so because I think 80 is way off.

And what do you want to bet, Bob?

Who's going to pay for dinner tonight?

Yeah.

Great.

Free dinner.

I say it's closer to 60.

You say it's closer to 80, right?

That's the bet.

70 is the breaking point.

The house collects on 70.

If it's 70,

we will split the check.

Bob, do you think the MCAA should pay its student athletes?

I think they should be paid a stipend so that like the average college student, because many of these kids come from disadvantaged backgrounds, they're able to get through college with more than just tuition room board books.

But if you pay them a salary, you're basically waving the white flag and saying, this is a complete sham.

That's all it is, is, which they've allowed it to become.

But it is a complete sham.

Yes, but if university.

I'm not saying it.

If university, and here's something interesting, we were talking about this earlier.

Things you'd like to hear said on the air.

I like March Madness as well as anybody, buzzer beaters and everything else, and it's all terrific.

But you'll hear every conceivable stat.

You don't want to embarrass any individual kid, but you will never find, even during a timeout, any talk of the disconnect between academics and athletics and what a complete sham this is for so many of these schools and so many of these kids.

Now, if

university presidents said, when it comes to the revenue-producing sports, because lacrosse players, swimmers, tennis players, they actually graduate at higher rates than the average student body.

But if they said, we are going to take control of admissions for football, basketball, and maybe in a few cases, women's basketball, nobody gets into this school that couldn't get into this school plausibly if it didn't have a basketball or football team.

Now go coach these guys.

End of problem, but they won't do it.

It's like unilaterally disarming.

Bob, we have an answer on the 1960 vote.

That's why you were smirking.

63.1.

63.1.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait till I

wait till I order the lobster out of the way.

And the Dom Parignon.

Jack is Speaker Boehner working too much with Democrats and sacrificing a conservative agenda.

Oh, I think so.

You know,

it's interesting that the President of the United States seems to be more comfortable with Iranians than he is with Republicans.

It's not necessary.

They can sit down and work together.

And I feel like both sides should be talking a lot more to each other.

That's something a Cuban would say.

That's

Doc.

I agree with Doc.

You know,

That's a rare moment when we

talk or feel uncomfortable.

Oh, that's certainly not the way it's

calm, cool

white people.

Exactly.

Right.

So, what do you miss the most about Congress, and what do you miss the least?

Well, I miss the camaraderie.

I miss the debate.

Every time I see

a show like yours, I miss the decorations.

The decor.

Did you ever see his office?

I stole a Lincoln bus from it one time on a HBO show.

What?

What?

Was it fraternity prank?

No,

it was Stephen Colbert.

We went in there and stole his Lincoln bus.

We stole his Lincoln bus.

That's coming.

There's pheasant feathers as well in the office, apparently.

Yes,

feathers?

Yeah, for real.

Real feathers.

And as a congressman can say, like, you normally paint the office either like a light blue, a beige, a white.

I mean, and you get like

used furniture.

What is it with

Illinois?

I know.

There's a lot of weird political shit in Illinois.

I mean, Berganovich, what was his name?

Blaganovich.

Blagoyovich, that's right.

And Jesse Jackson Jr.

Remember, he likes he sacrificed his career so he could buy Michael Jackson's old shit.

Did he put it on?

He was like the black Aaron Shock.

He liked

Michael Jackson's cape.

It is bipartisan corruption there.

Three

people in jail and both parties.

We've come together around corruption.

We feel good.

I still want to get in on the free meal, though, Bob.

Let's get another bet going.

Here, tip Canterous Look.

Ooh, look at that.

I can take that now.

I'm out of office.

That's funny.

You said now.

Mercedes, is Scott Walker just a flavor of the week, or or is he a serious national candidate?

He could be the flavor of the month, but I mean, I do think he's one of the serious contenders.

Obviously, he's up there with former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, but I think, again,

in several states.

He's ahead of him, and I'll tell you why, because he's the one guy on your side who is liked by both the establishment, Republicans.

Well, and Marco Rubio is too, though.

He's liked by the establishment and by the Cuban foreigners.

It's a human.

No, but so I think watch out for Marco Rubio because I think you start seeing.

You gotta watch it.

Bring it back around.

So again, what I think Walker brings is that fresh face, which is what we're not seeing with Hillary Clinton.

So I think, you know, he's a fresh face in the Russian party.

It is a truth.

You look at the polls and people want something.

Okay, don't say fresh like fresh.

I know what you're going.

We've already established you're racist.

Cubans are not racist.

Are you now being sexist?

Are you saying fresh-faced like she's an old woman?

She's a fresh face?

No, I am not.

Okay.

Because, you know, you're putting words in my mouth.

We are very.

I'm a woman.

Why would I be sexist?

Oh, you can't.

Oh, women give me sexists.

That's true.

And gays can be homophobic, trust me.

I speak of both of my people when I make those statements.

Being a woman and a gay, I know of what I speak.

What do you think about the Dolce and Gabbana scandal?

Now, I mean, they're two old Italian guys who are gay.

Yes, right.

But they're saying, like, we are old Italian guys.

Hey, you know what?

We like

the old-fashioned way.

You put your thing in the vagina, you know,

that disgusting vagina.

You put the thing in there.

I mean, they called Elton John's babies synthetic.

Well, not his specific, but synthetic children, right?

I think they were at that slide, which was the problem.

But

don't they have the right?

I don't know if they have the right.

They have the right.

Well, look, this is what I think about the situation.

One, it proves that there are stupid and insensitive gay people, just like there are stupid and insensitive straight people.

So my sexual orientation is not any smarter or more sensitive than anybody else.

So if they have an old world view, they're stupid.

I think what they said.

particularly because it was about children, was stupid and mean and insensitive.

Because I think that's just unkind.

And I agree with you.

Right, and I agree.

And I agree with you.

Five million people have been born IV.

Five million.

The first one was in 1978.

And she had children the natural way.

But I think it was an incredible.

Babies are babies.

I am always for less babies being born because we do not have to.

That's horrible, Bill.

That's horrible.

I'm the mother of five kids.

I'm horrible.

Well, you shouldn't be.

You shouldn't be.

My four children!

They're awesome!

Well, that's super selfish in a world.

Super selfish.

Absolutely.

We're contributors.

They will be contributors to our society.

Not only knows,

they'll be takers of water.

No, they will not take a takers.

They will not take water.

They need to take water.

Well, they need to take water, but they can be fixed.

In the rate, the birth rate in the United States, as it continues to decrease, at least the schlots are providing some extra kids here and there.

Well, we don't need anything.

And they're half Cuban, so there you go.

And Irish and German.

But the world does not have enough resources.

Oh, okay.

What do you mean?

Come on.

What is your problem with Cuban?

Because I have a lot of people.

I have a problem with facts.

These are facts.

That is a fact.

That is a problem with facts.

Just

a lot of people.

We have nine.

This is going to be fingernails on the blackboard for those of there might be a few Democrats in the audience, just a few.

But

genetically modified,

less water, less fertilizer, less land, you can feed a world of 9 million people, which we're closing in on, but we get great resistance just to have an intelligent conversation about it.

And I think that's part of the solution to the world population.

And Monsanto children are not synthetic.

Right.

All right.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, Kyle.

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