Episode 890 - Nathan Macintosh

Hi, he's Dave Shumka.

And he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 890 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark.

And with me, as always, is a man who is just always nice all the time to see him.

And he always offers our guests a coffee.

And it's just the greatest thing.

And our guest took it.

And it's just the best.

Dave Shumka.

Hey, Dave Shumka here.

Coffee offerer.

I, you know,

if we ever had a really special guest, I might offer them gold, Frank Zetz and Merr, but the rest of y'all had coffee.

We're a Christian podcast here.

That's right.

I forgot to tell our guests we're a hardcore Christian podcast.

But our guest today, a returning podcast guest, very funny, has two specials you can see on YouTube: Money Never Wakes and Down with Tech.

It's Nathan Fielder.

Nathan McIntosh.

You just disappointed half of the audience.

Oh, my God.

How unbelievable.

Yeah.

No,

you're right.

98%.

98% of the known universe went, oh, what?

No.

I would.

Come on.

Fuck.

That guy has that show.

I was like, I was

so impressed that you got both the names of the specials, friend.

And then I threw you a curveball there, the last name.

Yeah, it sunk me, but that's fine.

Come on.

You're nominated for a freaking Juno.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Let's get to know us.

Yeah.

Get to know us.

So we, last week's guest was Courtney Gilmore, nominated for a Juno, possibly won a Juno.

Yeah, possibly.

You are nominated for a Juno.

You may have possibly won a Juno.

Yeah.

It's any, any

time this is coming out, we just need to be accurate.

Yeah.

Okay, we'll do

one another intro.

So we'll say.

You're doing it.

Is this not?

Is this restarting again?

Nope.

This is just me giving you the Juno winning intro.

Yeah.

So

you can put this on your social.

Yeah.

And what's the name of the album?

Is that down with tech?

Is that?

Down with tech.

Okay.

This should be an hour and a half of just starting the show.

I mean, I'm not against it.

This show has started three times.

I thought I'm fucked.

I have no idea what's going on here.

Maybe I am Nathan Fielder.

Maybe I'm pranking this whole fucking thing.

Okay, so here we go.

Here on the Most Christian podcast.

Yeah, Nathan Fielder,

famous prankster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

And he has a special out now and an album that's...

A winning album, a Juno winning album.

It's Nathan McIntosh.

There we go.

That was clean.

Yeah, sure.

And then, okay, one more.

And our guest here

has a Juno losing album out called Down with Tech.

It's Nathan McIntosh.

And I just want to, can I do one more?

Yeah.

Our guest today, Juno losing, very sad, and also died on the way back home after this podcast.

Oh, no.

So he won.

Right, like posthumously as close as you know.

No, no, he lost.

He still lost.

Oh, no.

But then on the way back, assassinated.

Wow.

Assassinated.

Like, ooh, what happened to me?

Luigi Emangioni.

Holy shit.

He's taking a wild turn.

Yep.

Healthcare CEOs and just a guy.

Yeah, just a guy.

Just a guy.

I do love when someone's an assassin, they make sure they have all three of their names.

Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman.

But Luigi Evangioni, they were like, what are we going to?

Yeah, yeah.

How many years?

How are we going to improve on this?

Yeah.

Luigi Giuseppe Mangione?

Yeah, what is his middle name?

Do we know him?

No.

I mean, I don't know, but it's possible knowledge that's out there.

It's got to be out there.

Was there...

I'd assume it's Luigi, DMs filled to the brim, Mangione.

Did you?

Luigi covered in tits.

Covered in tits.

Mangione.

Once you kill a CEO, you're going to be covered in tits.

So he's absolutely full tilt covered in.

They had to stead the prison or something that he's in had to be like, stop sending things.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

He's getting covered in tits.

Yeah.

People are sending their tits in the mail on this Christian podcast.

because he doesn't have uh he can't just you can't send them photos he doesn't have instagram in jail or does he i i don't know how do you get instagram in jail the latest i heard was he wanted a uh a laptop they give him a laptop so do i a laptop yeah let him let him he wants to uh you know uh make mashups yeah yeah yeah there's a reaction videos

there's a good uh he wants a phone so he can make tick tocks where he's pointing it at other tiers

just silently pointing at the words above his head.

Luigi Nicholas Mangione.

That takes it down.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I did.

That is exactly what I did.

That takes it down.

Luigi Mangione is a much better name than Luigi Nicholas.

But I think they give, they always publicize the three names because

if you're Lee Oswald, you don't want to be like...

you know, applying for a job.

Wait, didn't you kill JF Green?

Oh, no, no.

No, it was Harvey Oswald.

Yeah, I'm Lee Honda.

There's a great Twitter account or Blue Sky account that's just hot mug shots, people who are incredibly handsome and pretty.

It's great.

Yeah.

I believe there's a subreddit called Mug Shaudies.

Shouties.

That is just pretty ladies.

Yeah, because

you don't have to be ugly to go to prison.

I think that's a bygone era, right?

Your honor.

I mean, you fuck them.

You're right.

Let them go.

We tried to find a jury of their peers, but there's no one who looks as good as this.

Yeah.

Yeah, you have to find 12 people uglier than you to judge whether or not you get it.

That's for that famous movie, 12 Ugly Men.

12 Ugly Men, the ugliest.

Now, you dwell in New York City.

Was it a big day when Luigi

played the scene?

Yes.

Block parties and such.

Block parties, big fiestas.

They did a fish fry right there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fish fry right there in the corner.

It is crazy that it was, what was that, like 46th and 6th or 5th or something?

It's like, I mean, right now I got it.

I lost New York.

What's that?

I got lost in New York.

Yeah, was it a big, like, were people, because I didn't ever hear of this guy until he was dead.

So I didn't get to know his life.

I'm only going to get to see it in retrospect.

Anyway, this is great.

Well, I mean, it's fine, but like,

we can talk more about this if you want.

It just feels old.

Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

I mean, I guess we were just like, I said Nathan was

fascinated.

You said he was Nathan Fielder.

Yeah.

Let's call the whole thing off.

Nathan, you're here in town.

You've been to Vancouver before, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

As stand-up or visiting or?

Yeah, to do shows, yeah.

Nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you travel every weekend as a stand-up comedian?

I don't travel every weekend as a non-famous stand-up comedian.

If I was was a famous stand-up comedian, I probably would travel every weekend.

But aren't they like road dogs here?

That was the way no one used to be famous.

You used to just go to a comedy club and

that's dead, Dave.

That is dead.

That way of comedy was assassinated on its way home from losing a genome.

Yes.

So, no, I'm not.

I mean, I am in New York a decent amount, but I probably travel at least once a month, twice a month.

Okay.

Yeah.

You get frequent flyer points?

Yeah.

What's your

what's your airline?

Delta.

Delta.

Oh, they love to fly, but they have a funny way of showing it.

Yeah, I have, I just used a bunch of points for the first time to go.

You forgot, you guys ever use points?

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to use mine for the first time to get a flight for someone else.

So

yeah, because then it's like free.

Who are you flying in?

I'm flying in, actually.

A friend of the podcast, Jay Arner, is going to get gender reaffirming surgery.

Wow.

And I have to go to Toronto for that.

So I got points.

So if she wants points, she's going to get points.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also,

check out the GoFundMe.

Yeah, the GoFundMe.

Yeah.

I think GoFundMe, just type in Jay Arner.

Is that what would you?

We'll put a link to it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Anyway.

So we support Jay.

Jay's, we've, we've recorded the show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The person who made all, recorded all the music for our debut album podcast.

Very talented.

Very talented indeed.

But this is my first time using points for anything.

I've never taken a flight on points.

I've never bought anything.

I wonder if I could get into a lounge with the points.

I don't know.

I got a pair of Ray-Band glasses with credit card points just because I was like, I haven't used these points.

And it felt good.

Yeah.

But then they show up and you're like,

what am I doing here?

Because the point, you know, credit card points anyway, you can use that for money.

You can just trade that in for real dollars.

Right.

So then now you're just like, now I just bought Ray-Bans.

Right.

So I didn't use, I used money now.

Yeah.

Mine is only for my credit is only for Aero

or whatever.

I get, I also have scene club points for the Cineplex Odeon theaters.

Nice.

And so, you know, sometimes

you'll be paying for your broccoli and they're like, hey, you want $10 off?

Because

you went to see Mickey 17.

There's

the past guest, Adam Christie, was really encouraging me to get an American Express because the points are through the roof.

Do you have one?

No.

No.

Look, Adam Christie says, What's your credit card number?

281.

That's the area code.

44628.

In all seriousness, if somebody, I mean, I'm probably most people like this.

Maybe you're not.

If somebody locked me in a room, took my credit card, and were like, give us the number, we'll kill you,

that could be a way that I died as well leaving here because I wouldn't be able to tell anybody my credit card number.

Yeah.

It's off the top of my head.

Yeah, same with my SYN number.

I have to look at it.

Oh, that I know.

Do you?

Yeah, and I also know my social security number.

Both those I know.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, are they the same amount of digits?

The exact same number.

Oh, really?

No.

I don't know how these things work.

Two different countries.

Violently two different countries.

They're not the same amount of numbers.

No, they are.

They are.

They're just placed differently.

Yeah, because SYN number is.

What the fuck?

No.

No, I think that one is one less.

Canada's is one less?

No, Canada's is one more.

It can't possibly be because everyone in America has a social security number, and there's one full digit more of people.

They have hundreds of millions.

We only have nine.

I'm sorry.

They're just spaced out differently.

I'll leave.

I'll leave.

Look, I know

we're hard on you about the numbers, but deep down, we love you.

Yeah.

I don't want to get.

Do you guys have a credit card that you pay for?

No.

You're the ones that, like, at the

hundred dollars, but it's like some fee at the end of, you know, every once a year I pay to,

because I'm on the, I get more points than the lower down credit card.

I have

mine's through the bank, so I get it for free.

No.

Mine's through the bank.

Yeah, they're through the bank.

Exactly.

They're all through the bank.

Yeah.

So you have like, do you have a TD visa?

Yeah.

Okay.

But you can, they have tiers.

Yeah, but what bank is your credit card with?

TD.

But you can get, they have one.

They have a few different ones.

How much do you pay a year for your card?

I feel like it's in the $200 range.

And this is solely for points.

This is solely for points.

And you know what?

For a little bit of self-esteem.

Yeah.

Like you've made it in life.

You can now

hobo.

And you do.

This guy thinks the bank just gives you a credit card.

Yeah.

It's through the bank.

It's free.

But if you also, it's free money because you just

give it a minimum balance.

It's free.

Yes.

And if you die, it's going to cost you everything.

Yeah.

What?

I have a stupid.

Your bread's ready.

My bread's ready.

I got to send a text.

What kind of bread we got?

Sourdough.

Oh, yeah.

With his oven, he can text right to the sourdough.

Get out of the oven.

Pull yourself out of the oven, Brad.

Oh, you know what?

Luigi Imagioni's here.

He was like, why isn't it?

Where's the bread?

Why isn't it cravata, bread?

I have a, this is a dumb thing, but I have a real aversion to paying for a credit card because I'm in your

like, it's free.

It's free.

It's free.

Yeah.

And that's why I balked at the American Express card.

I was like, I'm not going to pay.

But then he says the points are outrageous.

But if I'm paying for the card, just let me give you $200 a year and you give me more points.

Yeah.

If all I want is the points anyway, there's something about the subscription basis of a credit card where I'm like, just on, you know, I just don't want to do it.

I just can't do it.

I feel you, but you know what?

Once you make that jump, oh,

everything opens up for you.

Do you think Diner Card's not around anymore, is it?

Diner's Club?

Diner's Club.

Yeah, I don't know.

Is Discoverer around?

Oh, Discover.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But here's the thing is, Abby and I, my wife and I, we, on this one, I get two credit cards.

So we're getting twice the points because she spends, I spend.

We all spend.

We all spend.

It's, it's a real ice cream for ice cream situation.

Are these visas?

Are these MasterCards?

We don't need to go into what these are.

Mine's a visa.

Yeah.

Mine's also a visa.

Yeah.

Now,

boy, like five topics ago, I had something I wanted to ask me.

You're here for the Juno Awards.

Yeah.

Graham was nominated last year.

Greg loser.

Who won it last year?

Damn it.

It was Kyle Brownrigg.

Yeah, so that's one of the household names you could see if you go to these

weekend shows.

I was telling you.

I'm going to let you you guys know something.

I'm really feeling good about myself coming in here.

What is

it?

What's the reason for the Junos?

What's the reason to do comedy?

Please, I hope these are the reason to do the reason for the Junos is because Graham got the comedy award reinstated.

Yeah, myself and

Mark Ford and Ben Minor.

Yeah, it's great.

We were the hidden figures of the Junos.

I'm comparing you to the family.

Did you have to fight Anne Marie?

How do you get that in there?

Yeah, no, it was actually Rita McNeil.

God bless her soul.

Yeah, we had to have a cage fight.

Yeah, I killed her.

I killed her.

You know what?

I don't regret it.

But last year,

everyone assumed May Martin is going to win this year.

Who is everyone assuming is going to win this year?

Is there somebody that's...

No, well, I haven't heard the

assumptions.

Okay, I don't know.

Yeah, because

you haven't been getting together with the other nominees.

I have been getting together with the other nominees.

I'll tell you guys this: that we did a show for the Junos

showcase on Thursday.

A guy from the Vancouver Sun reviewed it, and that review came out today, and everybody got a glowing review except me.

Why?

What the hell?

He was very upset.

I could tell from the way you started this story.

So

he wrote a couple paragraphs about each person, very nice.

And then when he got to me, he goes, sadly,

staying to watch Nathan McIntosh made it impossible for me to go see Wild Rivers.

That's the entire review.

So, what's Wild Rivers?

Then he did a glowing review for.

A band he didn't even see.

He was like, wow, Wild Rivers.

They've sold a lot of albums.

They're Canada's heroes.

They're rivers.

They're rocks.

I mean, it was anyway, so that was...

So

maybe to answer your question, I don't know.

I've been around the people, but it's you.

It's

last week's guest, Courtney Gilmore, Deborah DiGiovanni, past guest, Jess Solomon, Jess Solomon, Ivan Decker, and Ivan Decker.

Solid redhead representation this year.

Two, yep.

Two out of five.

Two out of five is not bad.

Meatloaf song.

For people listening in the United States, the Junos are Canada's Grammys.

Yes.

And that's what we're talking about.

They've been calling them at the manager at the seller has been calling them the Crammys.

The Crammy awards changed my bio to like crammy award winning fucking not it hasn't even happened yet yeah might as well though yeah so he likes usually we get these you know canadian artists first you'll in america you'll be hearing about wild rivers in a couple years he loved wild rivers he didn't even see them this guy he didn't even see the band loves them he actually didn't go see the band i ruined his night i i kept him in the building and it ruined it i'm guessing country music what do you guess i would assume wild Rivers is folk, folk rock.

Yeah, folk rock.

About

Canadian folk band, yep.

Fucking nice.

Well, they're Wild Rivers.

I mean, what the hell else are they going to do?

You know what I mean?

They're not ACDC-esque.

Oh, man.

Can you imagine?

Hey, everybody, we're Wild Rivers.

That actually would work too, yeah.

Parent Aaron.

They just singing about balls.

But anyways, no, I don't know who the hell.

I don't know who the hell the goddamn fucking assumption is.

I'm happy to go.

I got a suit I like.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

New suit for this again.

Brand new suit for the Junos.

Hell yeah.

I was going to return it.

Big fan of that, but I'm going to keep this suit.

You like?

I have bought, have you guys done this?

I buy things.

I've worn stuff on TV and things with the tags on them.

And then the very next day return it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because there's no, you have no nostalgia connected to these garments.

No.

Not maybe.

Especially this type of thing.

But I like the suit and I want to keep the suit.

Post-I said to get it hemmed.

But I definitely have like, yeah, I've returned a bunch of stuff.

Yeah.

Almost any time I've been on TV,

there's a tag on me.

Yeah.

It's kind of weird.

I wonder if that's

a common.

No, people have money and they just go.

They pay $200 for credit cards.

They keep the clothes that they buy.

But me, I rent from expensive places.

I've got a jacket for $600.

Wow.

Do a thing, but I'm taking it right.

Yeah.

I mean, it doesn't even.

Oh, right.

So the sky's the limit.

I feel bad for the people at the store, though, because they're like, whoa, they really, and I'm in my head.

Yeah, do they get their commission taken away if you bring it back?

Yes.

I used to work at Future Shop, and I would come in sometimes and be in the hole.

Oh,

somebody, somebody the day before returned something I sold them.

So I would start my day negative $120.

You're just like, well, this is going to be a good one.

We're starting directly in the fucking red here.

What was commission like at Future Shop?

Commission at Future Shop was what did you sell?

Like

a TV VCR?

Yeah.

And Commission was, you only really made money on the service plans.

That's why they're always like, hey, you just bought the movie Drop Dead Fred.

You need the $76 service plan.

So if it gets fingerprints on it, we'll just give you a whole other copy of one of the worst movies ever made.

I hate that movie so much.

I mean, in the first year, you're covered by the factory warranty.

But I sold one time a five, I mean this one like TVs were super expensive too.

Like yeah, there was plasma TVs in the building for like 15K.

I sold a TV to a guy for $5,000.

He refused the service plan.

Of course he did.

He got $5,000 for a TV.

Exactly.

He doesn't give a fuck.

Anyways, I made $50.

On the $5,000.

Okay.

So that was kind of the service plan was the only thing.

Wow.

So I didn't really sell.

I didn't even try to sell things, if I'm being serious.

I used to take giant executive lunches.

Nice.

Because if you didn't make enough money in commissions, you would just make minimum wage.

And I was like, I'm 18.

I don't give a fuck.

I want to go home and play Grand Theft Auto anyway.

So I would cross the street, go to Pizza Delight, and just eat lunch for three hours.

Pizza Delight, that sounds good.

Awesome.

Yeah.

They had a lunch buffet, dude.

I would sit over there with another guy.

Oh, my God.

I would sit over there with another guy.

Me and him.

We'd both look at each other.

He was in like accessories.

We'd sell like cords.

And me and him, I used to call him Reckaton because there was a cheap cord company called Reckaton.

Okay.

I'd be like, Reckaton, you want to go to an executive lunch?

He's like, absolutely.

Drop cords.

He was like folding back up.

And we would just cross the street for hours.

And those lunch buffet places, they're counting on people who have to go back to work.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, we would just sit at Pizza Delight, man.

It was awesome.

I had so much fun.

I made no money.

The first buffet is so impossible to take advantage of because, like,

after two slices, you're like, I'm slowing down if you have that third slice.

Okay, things are starting to get a little creaky.

Creaky.

They got, I mean, they had salad, you know, Caesar salad and

some cakes.

Yep.

It was a good time.

But we would really just sit there, eat pizza, and just drink pop, man.

Just pound.

That was a good time in our lives when we could eat as much pizza and drink as much pop as we liked.

True, and the government didn't know anything better than to warn us.

The government couldn't track how much pizza we were eating.

Now

they're watching and they're like, stop it.

Yeah, I'm putting down.

You're associated with too many pizza points, planners.

Dr.

Fauci knocks on your door.

I know I'm crossing a full international border to tell you this, but you've reached your five-slice max a month.

Yeah, because I remember because there's only so many freestanding pizza hut restaurants left.

We have one here in Vancouver.

I haven't been to.

Where?

It's on Grandview Highway.

Okay, because there is like a Pizza Hut just like in a strip mall on Main Street.

Oh, no, this is its own.

It's a dine-in.

It's a dine-in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a dine-in.

And I remember Tim Gray and I going to one in Winnipeg and trying to do the lunch buffet.

And we just ate ourselves sick.

Like we just kept eating and eating until we couldn't possibly eat anymore.

And then it just felt like all you can do is

I used to go for all-you-can-eat sushi.

Oh, yeah.

That's a good one, right?

Oh, it was great.

And

it was a Korean barbecue as well, a little

grill in the middle of the table.

Nice.

And they bring you your food.

We would go with like 20 people.

If you're at the wrong end of the table, you're not getting anything.

Like they just drop the food in the middle.

It doesn't make its way down to you.

But then sometimes you fill up and you, you, you're just filling out like pieces of paper and handing them to waitresses, and they bring you your food.

And then you're like, I'm still so hungry, you fill out a form.

I'm still so hungry, you fill out another form.

And then you're suddenly so full, and you're like, oh shit, they are going to bring us more food.

And apparently, what you don't eat, you have to pay for.

Oh, really?

So it would be a lot of like, well, I'm just going to squish this down really small.

Yeah.

Pizza Delight didn't have that.

They were like, if you don't need it, we'll throw it out.

We'll give it to the next guy.

Now, was this in your maritime days, Pizza Delight?

Oh, yeah, Halifax.

Bears Lake, buddy.

In Halifax, they famously have Pizza Corner, which is.

Pizza Corner has been basically dismantled.

That's what I've heard.

Yeah, it's gone.

There's a yogurt place called Yeah.

Yeah.

Y-E-H.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where the King of Daenerys used to be.

I think Sicilian Slice is still there.

And then the other one is also something else now.

But a yogurt company, of all things.

Yeah, downtown yogurt.

When I was drinking, when I was living in Halifax and I was drinking, when I was going full pirate, we used to leave the dome a lot at two in the morning after like dollar drinks, drunk as hell and just bigger.

The dome is a bar?

Yeah.

And everybody looked around and was like, yogurt, right?

Yeah.

But they didn't have it at the time.

Can you imagine eating yogurt when you're drunk?

Well, what's that sauce they put?

There's the halifax sauce they put on.

That's yogurt.

Yeah,

exactly.

But yeah, it's oh, that's sad to hear because that was an institution for a long time.

Well, downtown, Halifax itself, and people might disagree.

The downtown core, I feel, has decided that they want to push out almost anybody that's from Nova Scotia.

Oh, God.

Downtown Halifax used to be a pirate ship full of pirates from the East Coast.

Now it's almost like a student center.

They've almost

like a

connection,

part of Dalhousie.

And I'm going to get this figured out.

We're waiting.

I'm trying.

They basically, it's basically like, look, people are coming from outside the city.

We don't want them to be greeted by pirates who might bite and fight them.

So you will leave.

We'll kick out all the things that you knew and liked down here, and we'll build like wine bars and yeah,

and that type of thing.

Right.

So they're trying to.

The harbor is now like crazy like crazy nice very nice yeah but it weirdly as a person who grew up there watching you know others eat cigarettes when you when you go down there now i'm like oh yeah it's it's almost like you're trying to bring toronto here

so it just feels weird i still love the city it's where i'm from but i i don't know man it doesn't feel very like um

Seagull-ish.

Yeah.

Well, that's, I feel like Vancouver in the 70s and 80s.

It was kind of like a gritty, gritty.

Yeah.

Yeah, like a lot of sailors would hang out here.

Beachcombers.

Beachcombers,

they would show up every other day.

And I wasn't here for that.

I wasn't here for the gritty.

You were here for that, but you were just a little...

I was just a little gritty boy.

A little beach comer.

A little beachcomer.

Little bitty gritty.

Yeah.

But

yeah.

But the Vancouver still has grit to it.

Oh, it's still got grit.

Absolutely.

It's just, you know.

But I like that grit, like a Port City grit.

Yeah.

Like

fire season two like if you were if you you know started a new soccer league port city grit yeah we're the port city grit

that actually is a pretty good name for a soccer team yeah that's really cool or a gang that's i was uh going through all the teams in the

major league soccer yeah and none of them have names they're all just like fake like salt lake city united or like oh yeah miami fc or whatever the only one well i mean there's the vancouver there's the portland Timbers or the Portland Timbers FC.

I think they're all, well, I guess a lot of them have names.

Vancouver White Caps FCs.

Seattle Sanders FC.

Half-Ax Wanderers.

Sure, FC.

Yeah.

But then there's like Inter-Miami and Real Salt Lake, which are just like the, we saw it on a European team and we added it to ours.

Somebody told me that the rumor is that they're they're gonna sell the white caps.

That's what I've heard.

Two to the highest bidder.

The ice cap.

That rumor you heard heard that everyone's known for months?

Oh, is it?

I didn't know.

It's been for sale.

Oh, I didn't realize.

I don't keep up with my White Caps news.

Well,

it was local news.

It was like not even, it made it off the sports page, onto the front page.

I go straight for the comedy review page and see.

Did anyone fuck over Wild River?

I remember doing sadly.

Sadly.

Wild River

sticking around for Nathan McIntosh made it impossible.

Made

the thing that he was mad at wasn't you.

It was your placement on the show.

Well, let's get serious.

The thing he was mad about was definitely me.

Wait, wait, wait.

Is it possible that sticking around for Nathan

made it

impossible?

McIntosh, please, Jesus Christ.

My last name is Macintosh.

I'm a different guy than that guy.

I'm not that guy.

Sticking around for Nathan McIntosh made it impossible to see Wild Rivers.

So I didn't.

I went and saw Wild Rivers.

I didn't stick around.

Yes, yes.

That would have been better, actually.

But no, that's not what he said.

Okay.

The tone is,

I wasted my life.

That almost should have been what he wrote.

That would be the title of the review.

The title of his book, memoir.

I wasted my life.

Chapter one.

God damn it.

I could have sold Wild Rivers before they were selling out the Rogers Center, the BC dome, whatever the fuck is here.

But certainly they're well-known enough that they're nominated for a Juno Award.

I could have seen them before they were nominated, though, I guess.

Yeah, that's true.

I remember doing JFL 42, which no longer exists, but you and I were on the same show.

I was the early show, you were a late show, and I got a review, and you got a review.

And my review was good.

Your review was out of this world.

I didn't see it.

I think you got...

I really didn't see it.

I think it's exclusively.

i only read the bad ones no this is this is good it's glowing saying like he's at the height of his powers and you know i nothing like that got said they were like we like this guy that was my room yeah we like this guy yeah this guy doesn't this guy means well yeah yeah

i was able to get to the concert i wanted to yeah i saw wild rivers this guy was so good that his he he he went under his time and i was able to see wild rivers god i love wild rivers you ever just sit back are you ever just like camping and you go, man, this really needs some Wild Rivers right now?

Boy,

I'm going to DM somebody from Wild Rivers and just let them know that I appreciate what it is that they do.

Oh, they're going to hear about it.

We don't talk about like

a semi-well-known Canadian celebrity on this show without them hearing about it.

Yeah, that's true.

Is this true?

That's great.

I haven't listened to Wild Rivers yet, but I swear to God I will.

First of all, I do really like the name.

Secondly, I've been been to Lake Louise, Banff, and you're standing up there and you're looking out, sometimes at a Wild River,

but more so in the wilderness itself.

And I have thought this needs a soundtrack.

And I don't, I don't know about you guys, I like rap music, but it's hard to listen to in the woods.

It's pretty much impossible to hear a guy talk about a gold chain and a woman shaking her ass while there's a fucking beaver kicking a dam.

Oh, hey, I forgot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I forgot.

I forgot about it.

A woman shaking her beaver.

Hard thing to shake, by the way.

You got to be a specific type of lady to be able to move that around.

Yeah, shake it.

I want answers.

The best thing.

I want answers.

Where are you?

What happened all these trees?

January 18th.

What happened to all these trees?

Shaking a beaver for answers.

Why did you block this?

Why did you block this?

Anyway, so

they have.

This is how I talk.

That's how I talk.

This is how I talk, Dave.

I'm sorry.

I thought we were going to do like a beach voice with it.

Oh, man.

Look, I have a speech.

Would it help if I told you I had a speech impediment?

And

it's a very real thing.

Is it?

Oh, 100%.

I'm so sorry.

Not at all.

Not at all.

If anything, you have a speech achievement.

You go so far in the other direction.

Too many words in one sentence.

It's an achievement I've reached.

Either way, I've been standing in wilderness and thought I needed a soundtrack and Wild Rivers seems like the thing time.

When I leave here, I'm going to check them out.

And I am hoping at the

awards tonight, the gala thing, there are bands playing.

I honest to God hope that one of them is Wild Rivers and that my bullshit doesn't get in the way of me fucking enjoying.

But here's what you do.

If Wild River is playing, you find out that reviewer's email, you write a glowing review.

Oh, you've got to meet them and take a selfie with them.

100%.

Yes, yes.

I'm sure they're great.

I really do.

I'm sure.

But just like you sending a photo with the caption, Wild River was so great, and then sending it to that guy.

Because a lot of times they have like an address at the bottom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For sure, yeah.

Yeah.

It's the Vancouver Sun.

It's a paper.

You got to.

Yeah, I got it.

Oh, come on.

You've got to meet Wild River.

We both have to.

You're coming.

I'm coming.

This is great.

My chances of winning are very low.

Very low indeed.

I hope.

And wild card this year.

And you just happen to be there.

Write-in vote.

There was a sixth nominee, everybody.

He didn't know.

We didn't know.

Here he is.

You have to get up, dust yourself off.

I just want to thank Wild Rivers for being here tonight.

Well, Graham is the winner, but obviously he's not in the room, so we can't give it to him.

So we'll give it to one of the actual.

Oh, Graham is here?

Wee-hoo-woo!

wee

um

do you have do you have like a bit of a speech you got 100 gags yeah yeah i have a speech yeah nice you guys want to hear it yeah yeah

uh thank you for uh giving me this uh juno this now gives one more to the maritimes with uh and murray has like 26 yeah and i'm now adding to that uh collection because they all get stacked yeah in uh oxford nova scotia the the blueberry capital of uh the world

It is blueberry capital, isn't it?

Yeah.

So this adds 26 or 27 to the top.

Well, I'm sure also Rita McNeil has a big stack out there, too.

So whatever.

You're getting played off.

No, no, no, no.

Dress and park.

I get attacked by Avril Levine

dressed as a rap.

Oh,

dreams can come true.

A raptor in a tank top with a necktie.

Clever girl.

He was a clever girl.

Rather in a tank jump.

The Rankin family probably have a few out there as well.

Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'm forgetting a lot of people.

Hank Snow might have.

I mean, I don't know if he was kicking around at the time.

Roger Stomp and Tom probably.

Tom's probably Tom's got to have a couple of fucking ones that he put under a board.

When I worked at CBC, in the CBC building,

there was the studio floor, which is kind of the basement floor.

And we were looking for an office to work in.

And we opened this office that I don't think had, it was like one of those things where it hadn't been touched since the last person left it a decade ago.

And there were two Junos to sitting.

I mean, I guess they were lying around.

I saw a bunch of the CPC ball league.

And they've gone through like different shapes over the years.

They used to be like a

tower.

Yeah, yeah.

Now it's like a guy in a ribbon.

It's like a guy.

Yeah, it's a guy.

Dude, yeah.

I guess if you look at it.

This is all part of my speech, by the way.

You guys are all in the middle of the special.

Sorry, sorry.

No, no, no.

I'm saying that that this is all part of it.

This is all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

100%.

I'll probably just read your guys' parts.

Damn it.

I have to find another.

Get out of here, Dilophosaurus.

Yeah, it's.

It seems like winning an award is just such a golden opportunity to make just a one-liner and walk away.

Like, I know that you want to thank everybody, but just like that Joe Pesci

Oscar speech.

What did he say?

It's my great privilege and just walked off the stage.

That's pretty awesome.

Yeah.

Or something like that.

Mary Davids.

This is all well and good, but I'm still bald.

What was the one?

Oh, yeah.

Who was that actress?

I forget her name.

It was Fortman.

It wasn't an Oscar.

It was like Emmy.

So they're less memorable people.

Yeah, I think probably those are the two my favorite acceptance speeches.

But there's also

somebody accepting on somebody's behalf.

That's always fun to just.

Yeah, you should have someone accept on your behalf.

Wild Rivers.

If I meet them tonight and I do win, I want to get the whole band to go up.

Did Jack Balance do one-armed push-ups?

He did one-armed push-ups.

Impossible.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you get.

He went up and accepted award and did one-arm push-ups.

It was either he was presenting or he accepting.

Because he won one year for

City Slickers.

And then the next year he also presented because that's what they do.

For City Slickers, too.

Or Legend of Curly's Gold.

Dirtier Streets.

I forgot that's what it's called.

Curly's Gold?

Legend of Curly's Gold.

No, no, no, no.

Guys,

I haven't even started yet.

That would be very funny if you're like, okay, if I win, I want you guys to come in right away.

Like, well, I like that.

Okay.

As soon as I grab it, just start playing something.

Did you guys see Adrian Brody's speech?

Did he go

for The Brutalist for the Oscars?

No.

He won Best Actor, and

they started playing him off.

And he said, please don't.

I've got this under control.

And so they stopped.

And then he continued for, it was the longest speech in Oscars history.

Really?

Like four and a half minutes or something.

And he said nothing.

He said, he didn't like.

Normally, it's very chic these days to like have a cause.

Yeah.

And his His was like,

you know,

no one believed in things, and then we believed in them, and then this movie happened.

He seems like he would be insufferable.

Yeah.

Like, as a person to be around, it seems like he would be someone

who used the term actor brain.

Actor brain, yeah.

And just like.

Did you guys see Demi Moore's for Substance?

No.

Oh, did you win the Golden Globe?

Yeah.

It was great.

Yeah.

It was just like a pretty.

She was just talking about how

she thought,

you'd have to watch it.

I fucked up.

It all fell apart.

You should do it for your speech.

Yeah.

I would love to.

I would love to talk about Demi more during my speech, if I'm being serious.

Yeah.

Why not?

Yeah.

It's Demi here.

I mean, here's the connecting of this.

Nobody that you know is going to be in the crowd or see this because it's all live.

It's not for tape.

So you can say anything you want.

You don't have to thank anybody.

You can just go up there and do a bit.

I mean, at most, there might be newspaper reviews of your speech.

Sadly, the speech went so long that Wild Rivers could only do three of their four mega hits.

Moss on a Hill,

Salamander's Looking at Me,

Pine Tree to Heaven,

and Maple Syrup, I'm Back.

Maple Syrup, I'm Back.

I mean, I don't want to know anything about them.

I'm sad I know that they're a folk band because I'd really just like.

The more we know about them the meaner it would sound

to Christ.

I'm guarantee they're good.

It's just the thing they be like, but like if the if we like know specifics about them then it gets mean

the fact that they're just a name.

Yeah

but but Demien Moore's thing was basically like she thought she was done her agent said that she was too old or something and she basically said that you compare yourself so much to other people in this business and she started to really have a good time and enjoy what she was doing when she stopped, when she put down the measuring stick.

You know, it's really good.

I just found it, you know, it was really, really good.

I'd love that her agent's like, you're too old to be in the substance as the older person.

They're actually going to go younger.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Before the substance came around.

She didn't think that she was ever going to get something like the substance again.

Yeah, there's only one a year.

They only do one movie for it's true.

They really only make one movie for an older actor.

But it's also crazy because she's had it.

Her career is incredible, even if she didn't do anything else ever again.

Ghost.

Ghost.

If she only did ghost, then only did ghost or only did a few good men or only

did those vanity fair covers.

Oh my god, fucking G.I.

Jane.

Demi Moore kicks ass.

He does.

And she had like

a Blow Your Hair Back cameo in one of the Charlie's Angels movies, maybe the sequel.

Like everybody's like, oh my God, it's Demi Moore.

And she looks fantastic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cameo.

Your hair back.

That's what they're doing.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

My hair was so blown back.

I missed Wild Rivers.

Sadly, my hair was blown directly off my hands and I was

rushed to a hospital.

I hope you keep that forever and like it's on your tombstone.

I lost the Wild Rivers.

Sadly, I stole a grave for Wild Rivers.

Or like whatever year you die,

you know, 2027.

If he had only lived a little shorter, I would have been able to see Wild Rivers.

His funeral really got in the way of that Wild Rivers concert I was supposed to see.

By the way, we're giving away two tickets to Wild Rivers, the theme park, the water park.

That's hilarious.

Hemp the ride.

Hemp.

Hemp is such like a 90s, like, oh, how come hemp is legal, but well, pots not.

Yeah, what the hell, man?

Do you know that our four founding fathers grew hemp?

Hemp clothing sucked, right?

We all lived through it.

I have a hemp cotton hemp t-shirt, and it's, you know what?

Got a wiggly neck I don't like.

Yeah.

I had for a long time, I had a hemp toque, and it was the best toque I've ever had.

Why?

It just, it like, just the way it sat was very comfortable.

Yeah.

Like, and it didn't do any like lines on the forehead or anything like that.

Like, it was just it shaped to my head perfectly.

Huh.

And it was hemp to head.

Hemp to head.

Yeah.

Hemp to head transition.

Um, yeah, I uh uh don't know where it is, but it, I remember also it had a little pocket in it that you put.

That's where you put your weed.

Sure.

Yeah.

Put your weed in the tube.

That's where you put your key to a locker with more hemp clothing in it.

Those like big poncho type hoodie things that had the pocket in the front with the giant arms.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Those pissed me off so much.

Drug rugs.

They just like, what?

These arms, tighten the arms.

It's such a dumb thing, but put it, put an elastic, get, get a tighter arm in your hand close.

But aren't you sometimes a little jealous of hippies that they can do that and not even think twice about it?

No, I'm not.

No?

No, I will say that.

The hippies were walking around thinking, everyone's jealous of me.

Everyone's jealous of me of my hand drug rug.

Well, Dave, what's happening with you?

Tell me all about it.

Throw it to Dave.

I'm throwing it over to Dave.

Well, we've been.

Well, first of all, sad local news.

Do you know what we're going to say?

Wild River didn't win.

No.

Oh, yes, I think it was a bit of a drink.

I've sometimes brought up on the show before.

Something has passed away.

Yeah, the McBarge.

Have you heard of the McBarge?

Nope.

In 1986, Vancouver hosted the World Expo, Expo 86.

And one of the features was a floating McDonald's.

In my head, I was like, that has to be what that is.

And I love that.

It was in the harbor.

Like Kick's ass.

It was amazing.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Like the pictures of it, you're just like, oh man, would have loved to eat a hamburger on the open seas.

And then after the Christopher Columbus used to do.

After Expo, it stuck around in the harbor for a while i don't think it was uh working no like it was just there and then they got rid of it and moved it out to like the suburbs it was just down in the fraser river or something derelict yeah and like youtubers would go and like take photos and videos of it they would like take a photo hey this is the mcbarge you check out my tick tock where i point to old pictures of the mcbarge and it says what happened to the mcbarge well the mcbarge sank sank yeah it sank it just sank this week come on who did that Burger King?

The Burger Barge?

Yeah, it was shooting whoppers at it.

The Burger Barge.

Big cannon stool.

Did any of these chicken nuggets?

Yeah, was there any pirate?

I don't know.

There'd have to be a Wendy's ship out there.

Yeah.

The Dave Thomas.

Or, like, is there a, in the, you know,

hamburgler in that sort of universe?

Is there a pirate pirate in the McDonald land?

Is there?

Yeah.

What's his name?

Yeah.

It's like Captain Cookie or something like that.

I think he's the representative of

Captain.

Oh, my God.

Captain Crook.

Captain Crook.

There we go.

Yeah.

From the McDonald's.

We're going to the McDonald's wiki here.

Yeah.

This is him.

But he became a cookie.

I think, didn't he, didn't he, like, his face was a cookie at some point in time?

I remember that kind of.

Yeah.

My face was a cookie at one point.

This, I think maybe he got edged out because he was maybe a crook that was stealing.

hamburgers and then hamburgler the stumina hamburgler is a way better name than captain

the character is comparable to the hamburgler, but rather than hoarding hamburgers, he tries to steal phileto fish sandwiches.

Here you go.

Wow.

Have them.

Well, wasn't exactly.

Didn't Grimace start out as a milkshake thief?

Yeah, he had a shit.

And he had more than two arms.

He had like four.

Yeah, so it all, they all steal

shakes as he was McDonald's fascination with all their mac and their mascots steal.

And

I mean, the system works because they've all been rehabilitated.

Yep.

That's right.

Yeah, ham burglar has changed his name officially to Ham Donor.

Yeah.

Ham Donor.

Ham Celeron.

Do you guys remember McDonald's Pizza?

Yeah.

Yes.

Kicked ass.

It did kick ass.

It took a while, though.

You would go and they'd say, okay, that'll be 12 minutes.

Yeah.

I mean,

it was so good.

It's so good.

I would love to have one right now.

Yeah.

Like, right now, I'd love to have one more in my lifetime.

Yes.

Just one.

You know, apparently, in like one place in Virginia, they still make it.

But I don't know.

You still make the pizza?

Yeah, he's like, I'm doing it.

I don't think it's going wrong.

We're still

because I don't even know if they had it in the States to begin with.

Was it?

It couldn't have been a Canada only.

So these are the top pages on McDonald's wiki this week.

Number five, Birdie the Early Bird.

Yeah.

Number four, McPizza.

Okay.

Number three, Uncle O'Grimacy, which is the Irish Grimace.

Yeah, Irish Grimace.

Number two is hamburgler, and number one is Grimace this week.

Let's check out the McPizza.

Yeah.

Sub, sub, which is.

There's a lot of people in the States that don't remember the pizza.

Never had it.

Well, oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so the McPizza is a discontinued McDonald's menu item, which was launched in the mid-80s.

I remember it in the early 90s.

Maybe 72.

And mostly discontinued by around 2000.

Currently, only one location in Orlando, Florida still serves the McPizza.

Nice.

What?

Wow.

Oh, man.

I got got to get that.

If it's the same pizza, that thing was amazing.

Well, they say here it launched in the mid-80s, and one inch away, it says date of introduction, 1989.

Yes.

But I remember it.

I remember it being such a big deal.

And it was like

a huge campaign.

There was also a campaign for something called, I want to say it was called the Arch Deluxe.

Yeah.

And it was Ron McDonald doing adult things, buying porn and such.

Renting a car.

renting a car,

getting a big bottle of jack daniels, yeah, paying $200 a year for his credit card.

He was like on a golf course, he was in like a board meeting, and it was the Arch Deluxe was like a Big Mac for adults because it had more lettuce in it or something like that.

I loved it when it came out.

It was so delicious.

It's a great name.

Yeah, Arch Deluxe.

Arch Deluxe.

And

I wonder if they have a page for it.

They do.

Yeah.

I definitely got into it.

And then, of course, they discontinued it.

They were like, if Graham finds out about this, we have to shut it down.

It was sold in 1996 and marketed specifically to adults.

Yeah.

It was a porno burger.

Who were the vague adults in 1996?

Well, Bella Caroli.

Shanna Jameson.

Yeah.

Will Smith.

1996.

Welcome to Earth.

Welcome.

Welcome to Deluxe.

But yeah, I'm sad to hear about mcmarge uh yeah so that's one thing going on okay and the other thing related to kind of to mc pizza is um i have two kids and they

uh my 10-year-old is getting more into like making her own food okay sure which is a big step yeah and so like i'm showing her how to like scramble eggs and like make ramen just like easy kid stuff

and uh we've discovered pizza pops nice The microwavable snack.

Look, it's garbage food, but it's garbage you want to eat.

I know, but yeah.

And you're like, we give them good food and they eat it and then they're still hungry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But have we just discovered, now this is a thing that's been around for a few years, but I never did it, never bought them before.

The uncrustables.

I don't know what that is.

I didn't know.

I didn't know we sold those.

Not kidding.

Canada?

Yes.

I thought that'd be one of the things that Canada went.

absolutely not yeah it's a pre-packaged sandwich with the crust cut off pre-packaged so like uh are we talking of a pb j or yes yeah yeah so it and it it's got no crust and it's sort of sealed at the edge crimped at the edge look at that though graham do you think that should be sold here i don't i don't no country shouldn't be allowed to sell this to anybody ever and even even the picture where it's supposed to look good doesn't look good you know what i mean like where it can't photograph well yeah that's horrible i i disagree i think it looks fine

oh why is this a moldy one why is this one dripping

that's the

adult uh this one's dripping uh crystal pepsi

um

but uh so we bought some of these yeah

they are the most useless snack in the world because you you buy them frozen yeah and then it says

You pull them out and the package says, wait 30 minutes to an hour for them to thaw before eating.

Who's got, who thinks about, if you have an hour, you could make your own sandwich.

Yeah, and cut the crust off.

You can't cut the crusts off in an hour.

Come on.

There's no way.

That's where the incrustable comes into play.

You've made a sandwich before.

Okay.

You have a big meeting.

Yeah.

You're on your way out the door.

Huge meeting with every.

You better have an arch deluxe for dinner, I say to myself.

Yeah.

So you're like, I have an hour before I got to go.

You make the PB and J, that's 39 minutes.

And then you go, I don't want the crusts.

You can't do this with me, Wonderbread.

Getting a knife, cutting it, finding a board.

That's like 60 minutes.

Plus, yeah.

I mean, it's not one crust.

It's got four sides of that bread.

And each one of those, you need to call somebody to help you with it.

Yeah.

So it's the Incrustable does come into play, but yeah, it's a horrifying piece of equipment.

I didn't know we sold on.

I've got no problem with it existing, but that thought.

Do you like the look of that?

That's horrible.

That's a horrifying sandwich.

It It looks like a cake.

I don't know if you can get snowman when you, because of the

problem with it.

That is horrible.

I mean, it's food with food inside.

I don't.

If I get a hold of him, if Mark Carney is at the Junos tonight, which he very well could be, inducting Wild Rivers into the Canada Hall of Fame,

I will tell him, please ban the Uncrustable.

Get it out of our country.

Get it the hell out of here.

You do nothing else, Your Honor.

Get it out of our country.

Do you see?

Is it a play on

a words?

Unstoppable.

I guess it's unstoppable.

Or unsinkable, maybe?

Unfuckable.

This sandwich can't sink.

This is not a crustable sandwich.

And that's the deal with this.

I can't even believe I started it this way.

Do people hate crusts this much?

I like a crust.

Me too.

Oh, yeah, me too.

Yeah.

I'm making crust.

What about the crustables?

I want more crusts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They should

give me all the crust from the uncrustables.

Thank you.

Make me a crustable.

I want a sandwich out of crust.

Pizza Hut should make a stuffed crust pizza crust with more stuffed.

Yes.

Stuffed with more crust.

Oh, yes.

There's more crust in the crust.

And the mascot for Uncrustables would be Constable Crustable.

He's the guy who saves the Crustables.

Waving a big stick with a Lambaton.

And then the opposite of him would be Unconstable Crustable.

Unconstable Uncrustable, who would be like a guy who steals Uncrustable.

Yes, yes.

This all works very well.

They both use Big Boss Man's theme song.

Oh, I don't remember his theme song.

I don't either, but it was

staring at a lizard by Wild Rivers.

Staring at Lizard.

Saskatchewan again by Wild Rivers.

I know they're a great band.

Yeah, they're the best.

By the way,

I did not think we had this because there's certain things that we don't get.

And I thought this was one of the things.

Because you see the sandwich, you know that they, this is not just frozen, you can buy this on like a shelf, okay, in in the America, it's shelf-stable, yeah.

Which does that not freak you out?

It's horrifying.

I mean, it's it's bread, and

I mean, all those things are shelfable, you're shelvable.

Although you're in one box, yeah.

I do, I do put my uh your crust down.

No, I put my jelly back in the fridge when I'm done with it.

Yeah, I put peanut butter in the fridge, well, almond butter in the fridge.

Damn, well, almond butter.

I know, I know.

I'm already at almond butter.

I should up, I should get a credit card for $200 a year.

Exactly.

You deserve that.

Air fryer uncrustables.

Oh, this changes everything.

Yeah, that'll blow your head right off.

Exactly.

How do we make uncrustable donuts dipped in cinnamon sugar?

It just keeps getting fatter and fatter.

Anyway, check them out.

Oh, but Totino's pizza rolls we don't have in Canada.

We only have pizza pops and pizza pockets.

But pizza rolls.

We don't have pizza.

Don't we have another pizza roll?

Pizza pops, pizza pockets, pizza pops, Puzzle, Pizza Pro.

Didn't we have pizza roll?

I've had a pizza roll here.

Maybe you brought them from the States.

No, I'm talking about as a kid.

Oh, I had to have.

And I didn't break, I didn't jump a fence or anything to get them.

It just, they were there.

But, you know, it used to, Halifax was a lot more skullduggery, so you might have to get a lot of stuff.

It's a port city, so we used to steal things right off the ship that were supposed to go down there.

Everybody get a little crate, right?

Yes, yes.

A lot of Dale Earnhardt Jr.

merch floating around Halifax solely because people wanted to steal that day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A lot of Intimidator hats.

Yeah, wasn't there.

Isn't there a pizza roll?

Do we not have anything in Canada?

We don't have a McCain's.

McCain does the pizza pocket, which isn't as good as the.

No, wait.

Who does the pizza pop?

That's a pillary.

Yeah, and I love pizza pills.

Their branding is better, too.

That box is just a fiesta.

The orange box.

Orange box.

Yeah.

And they have a crust on that one.

They do have a little crimped edge on that.

The McCain one is just a round disc.

Yeah, it's like a

puck of sauce.

Yeah.

This one was more like a wallet.

Yeah, a wallet.

Yeah.

A wallet of sauce.

Delicious.

Yeah.

Three cheeses and a wallet.

I haven't had one of those in so long, but they were so good as a kid.

Check out my friend.

Running to a microwave.

Well, I'm going to steal it on my way out of the okay, cool.

Yeah.

I'm going to take another coffee and a

pizza pocket.

Bacon double cheese.

Bacon uncrustable.

So we tried uncrustables.

I think that was a failed proposal.

And

anyway, let me know what my kids should cook.

Open to ideas, open to ideas.

Leaf Wellington, certainly, if we're camping, we're gonna you know have a hot dog on a fire on a stick, yeah, another great Wild River sounds, and we would be listening to Wild River the whole time

on a stick, the album, yeah.

You guys may remember this from our first album: Hot Dog on a Stick.

Everybody holds up their hot dog on a stick, yeah,

instead of a lighter or a phone, they light a hot dog on fire and

hold it out.

That's great.

All right.

Well, Graham, what's going on with you?

Well,

not too much, but the other day I tried to watch a horror movie that the opening sequence of it was so

upsetting that

I couldn't watch the rest of it.

Sally and I were like, we can't.

We can't.

It's too dark.

It's too miserable.

So we stopped watching it.

And then she went to bed.

And I was like, I still need to watch something, you know?

So there's, I have shutter, which I don't think you're a horror movie fan.

Yeah.

You don't have shutter.

I don't have shutter.

But I feel like I have shutter.

200 bucks a year.

But I got so many points.

Damn it.

Shutter points?

Yeah, you get so many points.

That's hilarious.

I'm bringing in a guy from Transylvania on my shutter points.

No, I don't want to get shutter.

And maybe I will at some point in time, but I don't want to have all of the access to just, there's going to be so many B horror movies on there, C horror movies on there, right?

No, yes, they do have like a lot, but you, the type that you would love.

Yeah.

Like the crazy one from the 80s and like the early 90s, they've got all those.

And then they have

stuff, dude.

Wolfman's got nerds, et cetera.

But yeah, they've got really up-to-date stuff and foreign stuff.

And

so the other thing I was like, what's just something?

Because they have kind of like a sillier category.

Yeah.

So it's like, oh, there's a documentary called

Doc of Chucky.

So it's all about the child's play series and the Chucky, but he broke out of that.

Oh, Doc as in documentary.

Okay.

I was like, is there a doctor in the house?

I pictured like a doc, like a Chuck Barge.

A doc, oh, yeah.

Oh, sure.

He flunked.

I'm going to swim onto the Chuck Barge, anyways.

So I was watching it for half an hour, and then I was like, okay, I'm going to go to the next one.

How many of the Chucky movies have you seen?

I think I've seen all of them at this point.

What?

I think so.

Wow, okay.

That's like eight or nine movies now.

Yeah, I think like I was terrified of him as a guy subscribes to Shudder.

Yeah, that's true.

I was horror.

He was like the scariest thing to me as a kid.

I had super nightmares about Chucky when I was a kid.

Great redhead representation.

That's true.

Yeah, all of the redheads in the 90s, like Problem Child, Chucky, they were all ugly little fucking mutants that either killed or bothered people and blew up their houses.

Yeah, well, that was the Problem Child.

That's what I mean.

Yeah, yeah.

Chucky was murdering.

But the Problem Child looks like Chucky.

They look the same.

They do.

They look like the same.

And like, the documentary was so cool because they showed like it's all practical effects.

So they have to make this like little puppet that could run around.

I assume.

But then I was like, okay, I'll watch the rest of this tomorrow.

And so I put it on the next day, and it was an hour into a four-hour documentary.

It's four hours.

Yeah.

It's four hours.

I haven't made it through, but I was like, what?

There's three more hours of this.

Well, I watched it.

You watched all I have seen the whole thing.

And see, last night we had dinner, and you said that's new?

Huh?

Wait.

It came in a couple years ago.

Okay.

Yeah, but you said you had seen it.

I've seen it.

But you've also hit me to two that I didn't know existed.

There's one, there's a, I can't remember the name of it, but there's a full one.

It's nine hours, and it's.

This is what blew me away.

Or no, wait, no, sorry.

It might be four or five hours, actually,

of all the nightmare on Elm Streets.

No, I think it's got to be longer than four or five hours.

Yeah.

But all the nightmare on Elm Streets, and then there is like an 11 to 13 hour one about all the Friday the 13th.

Yeah.

And they're both fantastic.

Yeah.

They're both really good.

Yeah.

The Chucky movie.

Are they broken into like

you know?

Each hour is like broken down to each movie, basically.

And they're both, they're both great.

The Chucky one's very good, but is it Ken Burns?

Did Ken Burns

zooms in on a hockey mask?

Yeah, a lot of zoom-ins, a lot of panning.

I remember watching a documentary about

Robert Johnson that sold his soul to the devil for guitar.

There's only like four.

For skills.

Yeah, for a guitar.

You could have bought those at a music store, man.

But also a guitar you can't play.

Damn it.

Shit.

I watched a documentary about him, and there's only two known photos of him.

So they're constantly panning over the same photo over and over again.

Because there's one of him

like a portrait, and then one of him with his guitar.

And those are the two photos.

The devil has a couple of them that we're not able to get a hold of.

Yeah, that's true.

That's what he held over.

Yeah, a few souls, pictures, him laughing and pointing at when, like, I mean, I guess I don't know what I would sell my soul to the devil for.

Because, like, the devil's just going to show up.

If you know what you want, the devil's the first step in getting what you want is knowing what you want, and the devil's there to give it to you.

Yeah, what would that's a really fundamental question.

What would I sell my soul for?

Like, a skill or

some of these uncrustables, the cinnamon donut uncrustables.

I would sell my soul for DraftKings ads.

To be able to be sponsored by and promote solely everyday, all-day DraftKings ads, shirts.

This is a gambling.

We don't have it in Canada.

Yeah, we have every...

We got it all.

You don't watch sports

because

it's only ads.

Because I'm busy watching Chucky.

Yeah, I have Dick of Manchuria.

You don't have to be a bad person.

No, I'm.

It is

an epidemic now in sports watching.

It's all ads for gambling and then just segments on gambling.

Really?

Totally.

Oh, I didn't.

But I would sell my soul to do that.

Remember when

there would be boxers who would get like,

you know, Golden Palace Sharpied on their back?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Just so like they had to advertise while they were shirtless.

Yeah.

And there was one time.

Maybe not Sharpie.

There was a boxer that lost in like two punches uh against tyson i think and they had him do an ad for pizza huts stuffed cross pizza and it was him trying to eat the pizza and then he accidentally knocks himself out with the slice that's awesome yeah it was really good it was like they aired it within two weeks of it happening so everybody's like aye that's the guy that got knocked out uh what's his face george foreman recently died i know and there were A Meineke, who I guess he did ads for, had billboards up

that was like, we'll miss you, George.

Oh, that's nice.

People's breaks will never be the same.

Yeah,

breaks all over America right now are not being fixed.

We always loved how you would put your name on anything.

Yeah.

And the amount of money you made on the grill, which Hulk Hogan claims he was offered first.

I don't believe it.

He also claims that he wrestled 400 days a year because he would go back and forth to Japan.

That's right.

Time changed.

He would have extra days.

He also claimed he was

offered

a spot in Metallica.

Yeah.

True.

And also he said he was the first choice to be in the movie The Wrestler, which Darren Aronofsky is like, no, it was Mickey Rourke.

That's why I had Mickey Rourke.

That's why I hired an actor.

Yeah.

I wanted Mickey Rourke to be in it.

George Foreman was awesome.

He was awesome.

I remember there was a guy in the 90s that

he was the champ, but everybody hated him because he kind of got there by beating up, you know, like older guys that are out of their prime guys.

And so he, and he had such a fucking attitude on.

This is boxing.

I think his name was Michael

Michael Mad.

Michael Michael motorcycle.

Michael Motorcycle.

You turn the key and he goes Pete.

But everybody hated him, and he was the champ.

And George Morvin came out of retirement, beat him, and then went back into retirement again.

And it was the best.

That's sort of like how Godzilla movies work.

Yeah.

Godzilla comes out of the water, beats up Tokyo, and goes back in the water.

Or stops fathers from beating up Tokyo.

He'll take on Mothra or Mecha Godzilla.

Please spare Tokyo.

I've already skilled it flat.

Do you guys want to move on to some overheards?

Yes.

Doctor Game Show is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners with callers from all around the world.

And this is a game to get you to listen.

Name three reasons to listen to Dr.

Game Show.

Kyla and Lunar from Freedom, Maine.

Dishes, folding the laundry, doing cat grooming.

Okay, thank you.

Great.

Oh, things you could do while listening.

Yeah.

I love that the read.

I'm like, why do you listen to this show?

And Lunar's like, dishes.

Fantastic.

Manolo.

Number one is that it will inspire you.

You're going to be like, oh, I could do that.

That's all we have time for, but you'll just have to find Dr.

Game Show on maximum fun to find out for yourself.

Say you like video games, and who doesn't?

I mean, some people probably don't.

Okay, but a lot of people do.

So, say you're one of those people and you feel like you don't really have anyone to talk to about the games that you like.

Well, you should get some better friends.

Yes, you could get some better friends, but you could also listen to Triple Clay, a weekly podcast about video games hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton, me, Maddie Myers, and me, Jason Schreier.

We talk about new releases, old classics, industry news, and whatever, really.

We'll show you new things to love about games and maybe even help you find new friends to talk to you about them.

Triple click.

It's kind of like we're your friends.

Find us at maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard.

Overheard's a segment on the show where we like to hear what you're hearing out there.

And we always like to start with the guest.

Nathan, do you have an overheard?

I

do.

I do.

Okay.

You don't need headphones yet, by the way.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Do you know what I'm learning about Dave?

I don't know that Dave likes a lot of stuff.

He likes Increstables.

I'm so, I know you don't like wearing headphones.

So that's what I'm...

That's what I'm...

I'm just here to help.

Oh, boy.

I am a bully.

You're like if Mr.

Rogers, you're like a Mr.

Rogers, but you go to the gym every day.

You know what I mean?

You're like Gold's Gym Steroids Rogers.

Thank you.

You're wearing a cardigan, but doing nothing but giant curls.

Yeah.

Busting right through it.

That probably is the best description of it.

I mean, every time I go to the gym, I do bust.

And the boy has a big one.

Lifting the weights.

Coming at home.

I'm coming at the gym.

I'm doing it at the gym.

Yeah, I guess

trying to think of some.

Yeah, okay.

I heard, I heard.

so, so I live in New York from Halifax, Nova Scotia.

I live in New York.

This is what I overheard.

Okay.

There's.

Is it weird that we're not jumping in and interrupting?

Nope.

No, it isn't.

But you can if you like.

Damn it.

God damn it.

A pterodactyl.

Come on, get out of here.

Michael Booblay riding a pterodactyl comes and swoops.

Get out of here, Booblay.

Is he going to be there, John Williams?

He's not not going to be there.

Yeah, he's going to be.

He's nominated.

Yeah.

For Jurassic Park.

He comes out.

Canada just got Jurassic Park.

We nominate John Williams.

What the fuck is this?

Yeah, I don't even live in Canada.

Honey, where am I?

He's got to be 90.

Anyways, has he made any classic songs since Jurassic Park?

That's a really good question.

Because he had such a good run.

Star Wars.

Not dude.

Indiana Jones.

Superman.

Back to the Future.

Did he do the Batman?

Alan Silvestri did Back to the Future.

Oh.

Batman Begins.

No, I know.

No, that's no, that's that other guy.

I don't know.

Zimmer, maybe?

Yes, it is.

Yes.

Robert Zimmerman, man.

Anyways, you're from Halifax, living in New York.

This is what you've overheard.

Yes.

So there's a lot of you get on the subway, there's a lot of crazy people.

And

sitting on the train waiting to move, and a guy walked in to the train, crazy guy.

And he looked at a person and said, You're broke as hell and stupid.

and do you think that's when the guy like decided to turn his life around well he kind of looked up and was like what and then the guy then said gibberish

he had one sentence you're broke as hell and stupid yes you're broke as hell and stupid and that was he was in his head he's like this one is the one that i'm gonna start with yeah but then and that's a very coherent sentence and then after that was just sort of mumble

that's class clown energy yes hey you you're broke as hell and stupid

and then basically yeah

and And that person just kind of got up and moved away.

Wow.

But like, can you imagine that person changes their whole life because of this really poignant thing to

me?

Yeah.

Out of nowhere.

And somebody, you're broke as hell and stupid.

I mean, most

people that could relate to on almost any given day, other than $200 a year on a credit card, but other people buying sandwiches that are with the cross-cut off.

Don't have $200 anymore.

I spent it all

on Crustables.

But there's a lot of people that you could.

I don't know.

Maybe that person did.

Yes.

Changed their their whole life.

Yeah.

Right there.

Buying uncrustables on Klarna.

Dave, do you have one overheard?

Yep.

I was

exiting a grocery store,

carrying a bag.

I can picture it.

Reusable bag.

Off to home.

I go to cook up my groceries.

Honey, I'm home with groceries in a bag.

You're early.

You said it would take an hour.

I'm halfway through this Chucky documentary.

Leave.

I don't want you to see it.

That's very tame.

Anyway, so as I'm leaving the grocery store, there's a guy walking into the grocery store on the phone having a conversation.

He says, we're very present at the market.

We're talking to people.

We're being polite.

That's a big, like, that's a big obstacle for a lot of businesses, being polite.

Yeah, I think he was talking about maybe he's at a farmer's market.

They've got something set up, and he's, it's not a farmer's market season, but maybe he's at, like, you know, a maker's fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, you'll always see me around there.

I'm talking to people.

I'm being polite.

My whole crew is.

We are.

Yeah.

We sell, you know, we sell everything from onions all the way to funions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

From onions to funions.

That's a great.

slogan for a store.

From onions to funyunes.

We've got it all.

Yeah.

You do your perimeter shopping and then you do the aisles.

We're very present, it's funny.

We're very present in the market.

Yeah.

We're very friendly.

We're talking to people.

We're being polite.

You can't miss us.

Mine is courtesy of being at a bar the other evening that had on tap a gluten-free beer.

So I was like, why not?

You have some gluten-free beers in my fridge.

Do I?

Yeah.

I think from Christmas.

We'll do that for a night record.

Okay.

That'll be a bonus content.

Dave and I get ripped.

But I was at a bar,

sitting at the bar, and there was a guy who was like a bar fly guy.

He's trying to know everybody around him.

He's trying to have conversations.

He's very light.

He's very present.

He's talking to people.

He's being polite.

Yeah.

He wasn't really being that polite because he was talking to people that were like trying to back out of the conversation.

When he started talking, I got up and moved as far down the bar as I possibly could.

And then he was like chatting with the bartenders.

It must have been like 20, I guess, you know?

And he's like an old, you know, like in his 60s, somebody that shouldn't be conversing with a 20-year-old except for, can I have this drink?

Thank you for bringing me the drink.

Thanks for, do I have Riz?

And so she, one of them was talking, you could tell she wanted to get.

back to work.

And I think he also hit on her a bit because then when she went over to her friend, the bartender she's like ugh i'd rather drink glass

i was just like wow the power of that statement when you are uh

like when you see this guy and you grab your stuff and you go somewhere else yeah do you make a big stink of harump do you does he know you're leaving uh because of him because i used the cover of the one guy he was talking to so loudly and he was like well i gotta go and i was like oh now there's only there's no space Because I feel like

I would like, it would be, if people are doing that because of me, I would like to know about it.

Yeah, you'd be like, What am I doing wrong?

Yeah, well, just so I like, because I'm worried, I don't notice it happening.

So, are people like covertly getting away from me?

It'd be hilarious to go to the end of the bar.

I'd be like, I'd rather drink glass than talk to that man.

You there, sir.

Do you understand?

I'd rather drink glass.

But honestly, I'd be like, oh, good possible thing.

Oh my god, I'll leave.

Oh,

thank you for telling me.

Oh, yeah.

This guy.

I don't want to go through life not knowing I'm ruining.

You'd get up and leave if somebody said, if somebody said, if people in the bar were like, you're ruining this entire night, you'd leave?

100%.

I guess you'd have to, yeah.

But there's also, there's got to be a little part of you that's like,

you're ruining my night.

Yeah.

You 10 fucking people are wrong.

This gang, you're ruining my evening.

That's my people pleaser energy.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're there.

You're present.

I'm there.

I'm president.

I'm pleasing people.

I haven't pleased anyone today.

Wants people to tear into that bread upstairs.

That's true.

You're going to have some very

Did you throw those out?

Did they stay in the

freezer?

Do I throw those out?

I eat the bread.

You did eat the Incrustables.

Oh, no, the Incrustables.

Oh, yeah.

They've been eaten.

Okay.

But the sandwich.

Were they good?

They're like

on par with a peanut butter jelly sandwich you would make.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, that's smuckers.

With a name like smuckers, it's got to be good.

Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map.

If you want to send one in to us, you can send it into SBY at maximumfund.org.

It was great.

Nathan just about put on his headphones and Dave gave him a no, no, no.

Don't listen to that yet.

This first one comes from Quill

in somewhere, don't know.

Sitting in a planned parenthood waiting room in Raleigh.

That's where she's in Raleigh.

I overheard the front desk attendant ask a patient at check-in, how do you feel about young Sheldon?

Planned parenthood.

We've got a couple of questions we need to ask you.

Yeah, we did

a scan, and your child will be a young Sheldon type.

Will he grow into an old Sheldon?

No, no, but

he'll be narrated by old Sheldon.

You should have old Sheldon.

If you like young Sheldon, we cannot let you keep this baby.

We can't bring another person into this world who likes young Sheldon.

Too dark.

There are very weird

laws they've enacted in America.

The Sheldon laws.

Yeah.

This next one comes from Riley from Manitoba.

Outside a kids' area of my church on Sunday morning, there were lots of kids milling about.

with a few running around chaotically.

I overheard a mother yelling at her children, if you kids don't stop misbehaving, we're going to stop taking you to church.

Yes.

It's the best of both worlds.

We get to misbehave and misbehave.

No more church.

Yes.

Oh my God.

As a Christian podcast, I feel like we need to say something.

Yeah, we need to go on the record of saying church is fun.

Church is fun and do behave.

Actually, don't behave because church will save you.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, there's one thing bad behavior needs, more church.

Yep.

This last one comes from Matt from Cholsey, UK, C-H-O-L-S-E-Y, Cholesley.

Sounds like a nickname someone would have.

Hey, Cholsey.

Hey, Cholsey.

It's short for Michel.

Michel, Michel, Motor Scheichel.

My four-year-old let me know apropos of nothing that the queen died because she was launched out of a cannon and landed on some hard grass like in our garden.

Hard grass, like in your garden?

Yeah.

So it was throwing shade at your gardening?

Yeah, you're gardening and also the queen being launched out of a cannon.

Oh man.

Well, it is true.

The queen is dead and we miss her.

Yeah.

God.

Do everything.

Turn, turn.

There is a queen.

She should have been launched from a cannon to here.

Yeah.

Well, we're one of the colonies.

That's what I mean, right?

Then

she gets launched over.

People in Newfoundland catch her.

We all pass her

all the way to Victoria.

And then she's sent to Australia.

New Zealand.

Luke does a tour there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The British Isles.

Yeah.

Nobody can't.

And all the posters are like, not that queen.

Yeah.

The original queen.

Yeah.

The queen's on tour.

Oh, I thought the lead singer died.

Well, no, the full queen died.

Yeah, the full queen.

We're sending her.

Yeah, and she's on tour.

In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and voice memos.

If you want to send us a phone call or voice memo, send it to spy at maximumfund.org or call one, eight four four seven seven nine seven six three one.

That's one ugh.

Spypod one, like these people have.

Nathan, put those headphones on.

This is it.

You're ready to go.

I'm, yeah.

Do they go on now?

Yeah.

What?

Are they on?

Are these on?

Hi.

Yeah.

Hi, I'm calling in.

I'm calling.

We're getting a lot of lag in the room.

Oh, you know who this is?

You know who this is, Nathan.

It's Wild Rivers.

This is Wild Rivers.

Wild Rivers.

Is this how you imagine them?

100%.

Beautiful voice.

I picture this being sung standing in a canoe.

But you won't ever think

about that.

We love you, Wild Rivers.

Congratulations on you, Juno.

Sorry, we didn't get to see you last night.

I was at Nathan's show.

You know how it'd be.

It do be like that.

Who was that?

That was Wild Rivers.

Wild River.

Fuck you.

I was kidding.

You actually put on Wild Rivers?

Yeah, of course.

Guys, let's get serious.

Wild Rivers is great.

Yeah.

I'm mad that I did a show now and didn't go see fucking Wild Rivers.

Thinking about love by Wild Rivers.

Coming up next, we have Speak Too Soon by Wild River.

Nice.

Wow.

I picture right now.

I'm on a cattle ranch in Alberta.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

And I'm looking at one of those brand.

Yeah.

Brand him hard.

Ah, Jews, vocalists.

I can see this being

on in a truck driving around.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Like you say, out in Alberta in the fields.

In the dead and

Fairview, Alberta.

Exactly.

Pulling into a Humpty's diner.

Ready to get two eggs and a good time.

I mean, that's a song you listen to, and

in the summer, you're like, suddenly, you know, I'm a different person.

Yeah.

Like,

I can never go back to what I was.

We're never going to be the same after senior year.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

And

I wasn't.

Where was I?

Where was I?

Anyway, here's your first phone call.

Hi, Spypod.

This is Asa in Oregon.

I have an overseen from Bar Trivia tonight.

I saw an old man sitting in the table.

I got a piece of his socks.

And his socks said,

you know, I'm old.

Fuck you.

No freaking way, man.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, I'm old.

Is that on one foot?

I'm old, and the other one was, fuck you.

And can you just wear one?

Yeah.

Oh, man, one sock.

Where's your other sock?

I don't want to be a graphic here.

I'm old.

He's only wearing the fuck you.

The fuck you, right foot.

Have you seen the shoe, the socks that have something written on the bottom?

I had a pair of those.

And they usually say, like, if you can read this, bring me one.

Yeah.

Because if you read this, the bitch fell off of my shoe.

My shoe fell off.

And then if you have your like,

you know,

one foot over the other, it either says, bring me more wine if you can see this, or if you can see this, bring me more wine.

It's the perfect system.

Yeah, I'm old.

Fuck off.

Yeah.

Fuck off.

Fuck you, bad.

Yeah.

Warren Ramsey stuff.

Fuck off.

It's raw.

All right.

Here's your next one.

Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Sarah in St.

John's College.

St.

St.

John's, yeah.

I was at a bar during the Four Nations hockey last month.

And there was this group of like young 20-something guys sitting together.

I think they were talking about hockey.

But one of these guys looks at his friends and says, I have so much excitement in my heart right now.

Also, sadness.

Anyway, off I go.

Yeah, you can have room for both.

Yeah, the human heart contains multitudes.

Yeah, there's arteries and ventricles.

And, you know, you got different chambers of

Plaque, right?

Plaque.

You can.

You got plaque in your heart?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Black it up.

Yeah, black it up.

Arteries, you know, ventricles and atria.

Mm-hmm.

Yep, yep, yep.

I haven't really looked at the four chambers lately.

Yeah.

What do they have to do during the four seasons?

The four chambers.

Never mind.

And here's your final phone call.

Hello, Dave Graham and guest.

This is Russell from Anchorage, Alaska.

Yes.

Recording you a voice memo with an overheard that was said to me.

I was walking into one of those public restrooms where there's no door, just a couple of corners you turn around, and an elderly man, maybe 80, was walking out and I startled him.

He threw his hands up into a karate pose for a moment and then said, I'm so sorry.

I've been listening to an audiobook.

And then he just kept walking.

An audiobook about how to do karate?

Yeah.

A karateo book.

That might be.

Karateo book.

Come on, Dave.

That's great.

Karateo.

I'm learning karate through through book.

Karate.

Karateo.

That is amazing.

Don't give me too much credit.

You know, I've worked on it before the show.

I listen to all these calls, so I get a chance.

Yeah, I do a couple of different drafts.

Maybe I'll go with Karateo Book today.

Karateo Book is absolutely fantastic.

It is by awe, chapter one.

Well, what is he reading?

Yeah, what is he listening to?

Novelization of the Karate Good?

Probably.

I was thinking that that man, because people think that Elvis faked his death, that could be Elvis.

Elvis

was a big guy.

He's about 80 years old.

Just full-on fucking get out of my face.

Now I wish we could see what this guy looked like.

Yeah.

What year was Elvis born?

40-something.

40-something.

Has to be.

Elvis Presley was born the 8th of January, 1935.

Oh, 1935.

Wow.

Oh, yeah.

He died at 43 in 77.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

So now he'd be

90.

Yeah, 90.

He'd be almost 100 years.

But you know what keeps you young?

Karate.

Absolutely.

And, you know,

learning another skill.

Brand young.

Karateo.

Karateo.

Listening to karate

also keeps you young.

Yeah.

As long as you can hear you.

It's just karate noise.

People doing karate that you're listening to.

There's no book.

There's no teaching you anything.

It's just karate kicks.

Yeah.

Smashing wood.

Yeah.

Smash a wood now.

Do you guys like that I have the Irish Siri?

Yes.

Very beautiful.

Lass, I would say.

She is quite a lass.

Anyway, that brings us to the end of this here episode.

Nathan, you have two specials that people can enjoy on YouTube.

We just won a Juno Award, or let me take that again.

Rest in peace, Nathan.

Executed by assassins.

Do you have Money Never Wakes?

Money Never Wakes.

Down with Tech.

Down with Tech.

And

Macintosh.

Yeah, just

Macintosh.

I-N-T-O-S-H.

Check it out.

A whole man.

Is there anywhere online that people can follow you?

Or are you just...

I'm on all the...

Well, yeah, Instagram, probably the most.

I got a website, anthmacintosh.com.

Nice.

A YouTube channel.

Do you like it when you go to someone's Instagram channel or Instagram page and they say, I actually have millions of followers on TikTok?

They're like.

Three million on TikTok.

Yeah.

Are you on your TikTok?

No, I stopped doing TikTok.

I never liked it.

I didn't either.

The whole app to me just felt very cheap and ugly.

You know what?

I like it up.

You're like, this thing is gross to look at.

I liked Vine.

I liked that it was like eight seconds.

I liked Twitter.

Yeah, I liked Twitter too.

Used to be fun.

Used to be so fun.

Now nothing's like it.

No, exactly.

No community anywhere.

Yeah.

Blue sky sucks.

I'm sorry if the blue sky is listening, but you suck.

Yeah.

You got to know it.

Thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you for having me, guys.

This was a great time.

Yeah, this is a a blast.

And thank you, everybody out there, for listening.

If you've

stuck for an audiobook to listen to, Dave can't recommend enough karate.

Yeah.

Hiya, the story of karate.

Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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