Episode 884 - Nathan Hare

Hi, he's Dave Shumka.

And he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 884 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark.

With me, as always, is a man who just like a second ago, we were talking about how fun it is to scratch an itch.

Mr.

Dave Shopka.

Scratching an itch is great.

Yeah.

But have you had sex?

No, is it anything like scratching an itch?

Depends if you're with that,

you know,

Sharon Stone.

Doesn't she scratch down his back?

Yeah.

Yeah, she does.

And I feel like that was a real thing in early 90s.

Films or videos was the scratching of the back.

Sounds awful.

I would never, never, I would never want that.

Yeah, I

boy, I wouldn't mind being like

jabbed in the ribs.

Like with a knuckle.

Yeah.

Oh, that'd be nice.

Or like a sexy noogie.

Scratch your head over.

Scratching an itch is good, but you know what?

For me, the ultimate in relief is

getting something out of your teeth with your tongue.

Yeah.

Not resorting to

crude tools.

Yeah, I had something like that last time.

Especially something that's been in for hours.

So satisfying.

So if it's like popcorn skin,

our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, for the first time in person on the podcast, he has a podcast of his own called Corporations Are Awesome.

It's Mr.

Nathan Hare.

That's a really good title of a podcast.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, let's get to know us.

Get to know us.

What is your podcast?

Is it about corporations?

Yeah, it's about corporations.

You know,

it's kind of an ironic title, but it's basically we dive into any company, big or small.

You know, we've done Starbucks, we've done Apple.

I brought in.

Those are big ones.

Those are big.

Those are big.

And I don't know, I brought in like the convenience store across for my house.

You know, really any business at all.

Yeah, when does a business,

like, is every small business a corporation?

In the rules of this podcast, yes, I guess.

what are the what are your not the like not what's your favorite episode what's your favorite corporation yeah um my favorite corporation then we'll all go around as well right that's i got

honda honda

reliable car yeah yeah you know yeah yeah yeah used to drive one in high school what'd you have uh honda court

2001 2001 honda court

can you believe it don't i isn't that isn't that so me?

That is so you.

So you.

Not anymore.

What else does Honda do?

Do they do heavy machinery?

Bikes?

Yeah, they do motorbikes.

They do the Acura, the whole Acura is the Honda sub-genre.

That's cool.

Motorbikes?

Yeah.

I think we said that.

What about motorbikes?

They don't do like electric, because some of them do electronics, like Yamaha.

It's like bikes and keyboards.

Yeah, but I think Honda might do like, you know, like farm equipment or something.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah.

I don't know, Japanese farm equipment.

It's like...

Oh, the itch on my back is bad.

Oh, no.

No.

Yeah,

oh, you were your favorite corporation?

Oh, my God.

I wasn't thinking about it.

I'd probably go with Le Chateau.

Le Chateau.

Yes.

Oh, very good.

Very, very Canadian.

Canadian party.

party clothes researchers.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Clubbing clothes from

wearing now.

From now on, I'm only buying Canadian club and clothes.

If you were on Electric Circus,

you went to Le Chateau.

You?

Mondale.

Mondelet, giant mega corporation.

Do they make like chocolate?

They make everything from like deodorant to chili gum to candy to like this giant mega company.

Are they related to Unilever?

They probably

are probably competitors of Unilever.

That's that's a corporation.

There you go.

Maybe a Procter ⁇ Gamble

family.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

These guys are all on the Dow Jones Industrial.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think Kentucky Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut, and I think Taco Bell are all owned by a corporation called the Yum Foods.

Yum brands.

Yeah.

Yum Brands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Great corporation.

I don't know any, but I really don't know anything about.

After we do an episode about a certain corporation, I'll go and look at their stock price.

And I'm always, now I'm kind of getting curious about stocks.

I'm like, maybe I should.

I've never invested any, in anything with the like, oh, I'm investing in this corporation because I think it'll do well.

You know, I've only ever done like the random things that your bank set up or whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wouldn't.

My bank is always like Honda.

Do Honda.

Do Honda.

It's a blue chip scott.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know anything about investing in a company.

Although that's not true.

My wife and I invested in a

vegetarian

like fake meat kind of

based out of Victoria.

And man, it never went up, but it sure just kept winning down and down and down.

Justice hero.

Did you, you had the food and it was really good?

Yeah.

You got invested.

And then they were on Dragon's Den.

Ah, that's right.

Okay, this will be, they'll become the kind of thing.

Yeah.

He was Mr.

Wonderful.

He won his seal of approval.

And

I know we joke about him.

He is the very worst.

He's the fucking worst.

You know what?

Just stay in the States.

We don't need you up here.

Stop coming up here and nosing around.

He remembers when he was going to run for prime minister?

Yeah.

And the big thing was that he didn't speak French.

So he's like, I'll hire tutors.

I'll hire tutors and I'll learn how to speak fluent French.

I kind of respect that.

He's going to Cumon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or like the night before the election, he's like, I'm going to cram.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's doing French immersion.

Yeah, he, uh, but he was, he's a, he's like, what you say, like, Canada's Trump-esque.

Yeah, but like even not even knowing anything about his business background, he's just uh I find him unpleasant.

Yes, he's unpleasant.

Yeah, he's just a bad guy.

And the Mr.

Wonderful thing, like it, is it is he sarcastic?

He must be sarcastic.

Because he knows he sucks.

Yeah, I think he knows he sucks.

Look, I know I'm awful, but I have a funny nickname.

Yeah,

do you ever watch Shark Tank or Dragon's Den or any such show?

You know what?

I feel like I only ever watch it in like a hotel.

Because I'm staying in a hotel right now and that's like the only time I ever watch like live cable.

It is prime hotel viewing.

Even though I have cable now, I have my parents' cable login thing on my Apple TV, but I never watch it.

But always in a hotel, I just have it on in the back.

It's just, it's nice.

It makes it feel like when you see a show that you like, it feels like you...

you earned it because you have to wait around, find it on the guy channel.

Will hotels, when all the old people who still have cable, myself included, die,

will hotels be the last ones?

I mean, I definitely think hotels are slow on the uptake.

I feel like.

Yeah.

Sometimes they're too quick, though, because sometimes they'll be like, I'm going to get, we're putting

iPod chargers on all of the

crazy.

Yeah, on the, what do you call them?

The clock radio.

Clock radio.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

I saw a hotel in Toronto advertising.

They're like, we don't have TVs.

We give you a record player.

Really?

Yeah.

Which I was like, that's not

the same form of entertainment at all.

We've got a record of the news.

You can listen to the news on it.

Yeah, you can listen to the news.

We've got eight hours of Law and Order.

Yeah, yeah.

Like 10, 15 years ago, do you remember the Ace Hotel?

Oh, yeah.

It was like a chain of hipster hotels.

And I never stayed at one.

But in all the pictures of them, they never showed a TV and I wasn't sure if there was a TV.

And how can you stay at a hotel without a TV?

Yeah.

A record player.

What's the worst hotel you've ever stayed?

The worst hotel,

probably my worst experience at a hotel was stayed at a hotel in Lisbon where I had food poisoning.

And it had a, it was like the, we were in Spain and we like went to a bunch of places in Spain and then ended our trip in Lisbon.

And this was like the one place that a shared bathroom, one hotel that got food poisoning.

And I just was like running down this long hallway all night to throw up.

I just stayed in a tiny room.

Pardon?

I just stay in the bathroom.

I just exactly.

Yeah.

It was like this, this tiny little bathroom.

I once stayed at a hostel in Barcelona and the toilet was so, like it was a shared bathroom.

Yeah.

And the toilet was so far from the door and

like the lock on the door was not good enough.

And like if if you were stuck on the toilet you could not reach the door to like stop it it was like oh it's so scary yeah

what if the spanish poo monster is coming yeah

um yeah the uh oh speaking of like poo monster okay

uh you remember on moripovich where he would do the confronting your fears and then it was like cotton ball man came out do you know what i'm talking about

The guy who was the hypnotist.

Oh no, it's back!

Itchy back is back.

There's a guy that I'd known for years as a hypnotist named Boris, Boris the hypnotist.

He was the guy that did all of the hypnotizing to make the people less afraid of their phobias.

Oh, he's a guy from Toronto.

Interesting.

Do you guys believe in hypnotists?

I don't know.

Because when I was in high school, I remember we had like, you know, it was like a big assembly for like some grad thing and they brought people up and did that.

And then

like I was like, okay, so there's people on stage.

But then our friend who was just watching it, he got hypnotized in the crowd.

We were like telling him to do stuff.

So I'm like, there must be something about it that is real.

There was a guy in my dorm

that could do it.

And a couple of times he gathered everyone together and did a thing.

And it was good.

The one time he tried to do it on me,

I didn't realize you're supposed to tap out.

Like, I got too deep and I was just sort of giggling, like, oh, no, am I supposed to be hypnotized by now?

And I ruined it for everyone.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I think there's something to it.

Yeah.

And even like, you know, like

quit smoking, hip-hop.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ravine.

God, he's the best Ravine.

Now, we were talking about bad hotels.

Yes.

Before the show, you told us that after you're here in town to do some shows,

but afterwards, you and your buddies are meeting up at the West Edmonton Mall, formerly the world's biggest mall.

Yeah.

Is it anymore?

No, it was for a while it was Mall of America, but I feel like there must be one in Dubai or something.

Yeah, it's not even close anymore, I don't think.

I think it's like maybe it's top 10, maybe top 10.

Yeah, West Edmonton Mall is bigger than Mall of America.

That's the only mall that I remember hearing that had.

I think there's multiple Malls of America.

Yeah, dude.

There was a new one that

in Milwaukee, maybe?

But there hasn't been like a new mall in 20 years.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, maybe they'll all close and West Edmonton

will become the biggest again.

Yeah, we're going on a little boy.

The world's largest malls include the Iran Mall, the Dubai Mall, and the West Edmonton Mall.

Okay, so we're still in the

top three in the top three.

Okay.

So we're just talking about shopping malls from now on.

So

I got to go to the other ones.

I got to go.

This group of guys, we got to go to all the malls.

Oh, I got bad news.

This Wikipedia page is just a stub.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

So, the number one is the Iran Mall in Tehran.

That was open in 2018.

Okay.

There's a Kuwait mall, a Malaysia Mall, another Iran.

Where's West Edmonton?

I think it seems like it's pretty far down the list there.

Guys, I'm so sorry.

It's the 29th biggest mall in the world.

Oh, shit.

We're not even in the top 30.

That doesn't sound very good.

It's tied with Fashion Island and Bangkok.

Damn.

Yeah, we were deciding between Bangkok, West Edmonton.

Indiana.

West Edmonton came in just slightly cheaper, so we went for it.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

Now you're staying at the Fantasyland Hotel.

Yes, Jungle Room.

Jungle themed room.

Okay.

Did you choose Jungle Room?

Was that everyone's first choice?

Okay, I wasn't involved in the choosing of the hotel.

We knew that we wanted to stay in a themed room, but my buddy, shout out to Sam Burns.

He booked it, and he just booked the jungle room.

And it was only a week ago.

I was like, what theme are we?

He said, jungle.

And I was like, ooh, good choice.

Nice.

That's a good choice.

Because there's other choices.

I know there's like space.

Yeah, there's space.

Which I've stayed in before when when I was a kid.

I stayed in space.

You stayed in space?

Yep.

Stayed in space.

It was awesome.

There's like a 50s diner-themed one, which is like

for like boomer.

Nostalgic boomer.

Dave's brought up all the different.

Okay, let's go.

We've got igloo family.

Well, let's see.

Igloo is crazy.

You want to see it?

No, no, just it's just the name of it is igloo.

Family?

It's a family-sized igloo.

Oh, okay, okay, fine.

There's Polynesian family.

I'm just going from the bottom up because I noticed there was Polynesian family, Polynesian, and modern Polynesian.

Is there a jungle three friends, three guys?

There's Victorian coach, African.

I'd be sort of worried about

what they're putting in to design these.

Well, this is my idea of what African is, as a guy from Edmonton.

There's truck room.

Oh, truck room.

Truck.

Truck.

Under the rules.

You sleep in the bed of a truck.

That's.

The bed is a bed.

That is a bed.

Amazing.

And you suck on a

gas pump all night.

I don't see jungle.

Yeah, I don't see jungle in here.

Hmm.

Maybe it's maybe it's Polynesian.

Modern Polynesian.

Maybe it's Polynesian.

Is that kind of like tiki?

Oh, yeah, maybe you're staying.

Oh, they're just like on the truck one again.

I like truck.

Yeah, maybe my friend just made it up.

This one's pretty jungly.

Yeah, it's looking good.

Yeah.

Is there a hot tub?

That looks like a hot tub right there.

How many guys do you think you have?

Let me bring it over here for you.

Oh, perfect.

Wow.

I can't.

Just looking at it, I'm getting so excited.

I can't believe this is going to be me.

And there's a queen on Friday night.

There's how many of you total?

Three.

Three of you total.

A queen.

You told us, a queen bed.

And a bunk bed.

And a bunk bed.

Yeah.

And who's, are you rock, paper, scissors?

Are you just everybody gets a night in their solo bed?

Ooh, that is a really good question.

Hasn't come up yet.

How many nights are we thinking?

So we're doing

two months.

We're kind of doing a residency.

Yeah, yeah.

We want to have a day for every store, right?

You got to be worth it for both caps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly.

Two nights.

I'm going to go insane, I think.

I'm not going to leave.

leave the mall.

I'm not going to go outside.

Yeah.

It's going to be, I'm going to come back so pale.

Yeah, but that's the look you want.

That's the look you want.

The London look.

The London look.

Do you, you went to West Ed as a child?

Yeah.

Didn't it seem insane when you were a kid?

It seemed crazy.

It was so cool, I thought.

Just the idea, the idea of it.

I just did it.

Yeah.

And it was perfect at every age I've gone.

Cause I remember I went when I was

this is I love this history.

The history.

I think I've gone.

I went when I was like a really little kid.

Like, I don't remember.

Like just like vague memory.

And then I went when I was like in grade five, I think, which was really funny.

I remember that to be a kid.

That's when we stayed stayed in the space room.

That was awesome.

Did the water park, did the

amusement park.

And then I went with like this like youth group thing in high school with all my friends.

And that was awesome.

Because I feel like high in high school, you're like, we're kind of like, yeah, this is kind of whatever.

But like, you know.

But it was a church youth group.

Yeah.

Well, you can't be that whatever because you know, like,

I love God.

You're like,

can you believe God created this?

Wait, God made hot topic.

This is awesome.

Oh, my God.

This is God's 29th biggest mall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And on the 29th day after

in Bangkok and in Edmonton, he did them both at once because they're equally as big.

Yeah, but that was fun because I was like, oh, I have a crush on a girl and I'm in a mall.

That's huge.

Yeah.

Best feeling ever.

Tyranny Julia.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I didn't talk to her the entire time.

That's the right way to go.

Yeah, yeah.

As a teenager?

Yeah.

God.

Did she ever know?

Did she ever find out?

I think so.

Yeah.

I think she started just dating my friend.

But he knew that I had a crush on her.

And he did it anyway.

He did it anyways.

But then nothing was going to happen between us.

So I can't be too mad.

What do you mean nothing was going to happen?

Well, I don't know.

She liked him.

I can't be like,

I can't be like, dude, I liked her and she didn't know I existed.

You have to reject her.

Yeah.

Drop clues about me.

Yeah.

We're friends, aren't we?

Yeah.

We're friends.

Yeah.

Being in a, I feel like, well, my wife has said many times that she joined a youth group strictly to meet boys.

Yeah.

And I feel like that was, that was a scene.

And she met one boy, and he had a beard and a lot of crazy ideas.

It was Hillbilly Jim from the WWF.

Well, if you can believe it, my parents met at this youth group.

Oh, really?

Yes, the same one.

Were they older than you?

It was my friend and the girl I had a crush on.

I don't know how that works.

It was a weird situation, but we made it work.

Yeah, adopted parents.

They adopted me.

But then it was so awesome because my parents met there and so they and they worked there and that was like a big part of their thing.

So it was like

anything associated with that was like free reign.

Like, if I was like, oh, I'm just going to like the young life thing, they're like, great, cool, see you later.

Stay out as late as you want.

You're with doing that.

I'm like, this is totally awesome.

When you say they worked there, like, to, to, for how long?

Like, when they were, you know, in their early 20s.

Okay.

Yeah.

They weren't like still working there.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's what I was thinking, like, down at corporate, like, yeah, yeah.

Just doing the numbers.

And yeah, yeah.

Guys, I got to get those Bible, Bible verses up.

Come on.

Those kids are memorizing those Bible verses.

Because I did youth group stuff too.

It wasn't that because we went to church, and that was the Bible part.

Yeah.

And then the youth group was just about people with bad haircuts.

Yeah.

It was also like we did, I know we did a scavenger hunt.

Yeah.

Across the whole city, whole city scavenger hunt.

What others?

You went to the mall, you went, you did scavenger hunt?

Well, we did, did a

camp, went to like a camp place,

resort place, um,

which is really fun.

Yeah, and then we do the funny thing with this one, it was really secular, I guess.

I guess they were trying to be like because they'd come, they were trying to get people that didn't go to church, like kids, and that's why it was kind of cool because all my friends were like, Oh, this isn't really that like lame, so they'd come.

Mine was Shrecular, was it?

Yeah, it was weird.

It was like it was a little donkey guy, yeah,

yeah.

Mine was uh mega mind

kind of a later period Will Farrell animated frameworks.

The coolest thing about mine was we learned how to train your dragon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But so, yeah, so then this one, they do, they'd play songs like, like, you know, like worship songs, the acoustic guitar, but instead of playing worship songs, they'd play like cold play or whatever.

They try to make it fun.

But it's kind of a weird thing because you're like, the point of the worship songs is like the message, not like the fact that you're singing together.

Like, you know what I mean?

From God.

Like, if God, God cared, he's like, oh, I'm just glad you guys are singing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't care that it's some 41, as long as you're just singing.

Have you seen that they're doing a live action how to train your dragon?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

They're going.

Are you going to use real dragons?

The Disney ones can you have their whole like hundred years of movies to draw from to make live action and then

and then whatever is it dream works?

Early dream works, right?

They're a full stitch, newly lone stitch.

Yeah, newly loaned stitch is dropping um

yeah

i have like the one that i thought was weird is mine because it was released not that long ago yeah because i feel like they do they redo the ones from back in the day yeah but they're just probably running out would be my they what have they done from the the weird one is was lion king because there were no people in it so they just used computer generated lions

and it was it was just kind of like when you saw the the castlist you're like yeah that's fine like it's, you know, Seth Rogen is the

your cat, I guess.

Yeah, it was Donald Glover, Simba.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, okay.

It's,

you know, I can't remember the guy who played it in the original.

I know it was Nathan Lane was one of them.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

And the.

And, oh, Ernie Sabella?

Ernie Sabella.

Yeah, yeah.

From the Seinfeld where he's naked on the train.

Yes.

Yeah.

Good recall.

I mean, it seems like those live action ones, it's purely for families when it's like a Saturday at 3 p.m.

and they're like, we got to kill some time.

Yeah.

What are we going to go see?

Oh, there's a Lion King.

Yeah.

It's like literally all it is for.

That was the only audience.

Yeah, that's right.

I've, yeah, in the past, I've went to a movie that is, well, I went to Wicked, and it was the H-Span was from

people who probably were there when Wizard of the Oz debuted.

Wizard of the Opera.

Wizard of the Opera.

Yeah.

But yeah, and then little kids, little tiny kids running around bored out of their minds.

Yeah, be like, how long is this thing?

Well, at least there's no part two.

There is?

What the hell?

Yeah, the youth group scene was like, there was, oh, in Calgary 2, there was a club that was supposed to be, it was like kind of like a nightclub, but it was all for teens.

Oh, yeah, I remember we had one of those really briefly.

Yeah.

It was like, it was a really good place to go buy pot.

Yeah.

For real.

Such a bad idea.

Yeah.

Make that, yeah.

Just let

teetens in till one in the morning.

Yeah.

You guys have money?

No.

Yeah.

You guys are going to behave, right?

Because we don't have an actual bouncer.

Yes.

Yes.

Do you have control over your bodies?

No.

Haven't figured it out yet.

Do you have a mob mentality?

For sure.

For sure.

Yeah, what was it called?

The cave, I want to say?

It was called the cave.

It's always called something like the cave.

Yeah.

What tree was it on?

I mean, it was definitely southwest, if I can remember anything, it was southwest.

Okay, the cave on southwest.

Maybe maybe post-West Edmonton Mall, I'll d I'll drive down to Calgary, see if it's still around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or just DJ's guest DJ said.

Just what?

What's up, y'all?

Yeah, if you see any teenagers in the mall, just be like, hey, where's the like all-ages club that you guys

all ages?

Yeah, is there an all-ages club in Edmonton I can check out?

It's not 19 minus.

It's all ages.

Also, would a kid's bar these days days have non-alcoholic like beer and stuff like that?

No.

Why not?

There's no alcohol in it.

I wonder what they would have.

Because there's...

Yeah.

What is the...

I know they had like pop, the one I went to.

Have you seen the

Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

No.

Yes, I've seen one episode.

And they have like...

They have like these soda bars that they go to.

I've watched TikToks about this.

Yeah, and they have like special

soda fountain sort of like orders where, you know, I'll get this soda with whatever

stuff in it, throw in some gummy bears and like

whipped cream.

And is this the thing that they do at home or is this like, is there a bar that they go to that does?

I don't think it's a bar.

I think it's like the equivalent of like Starbucks.

Oh,

okay.

Yeah, you get your fancy sodas.

Because they can't have caffeine, I guess.

I guess they're like non-caffeinated sodas that they get?

I guess.

Mormon people get, yeah, huh?

Interesting.

Yeah, I know.

Uh, a friend of mine told me that there's some parts of the or groups of the religion do drink caffeine, but they are not allowed to drink hot like coffee or tea.

They get, wow, they get ice caps.

Yeah, yeah, see, that's the workaround.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, or Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola, yeah, yeah, love Coca-Cola, yeah, gonna have one later, yeah, yeah, oh, amazing, amazing, uh, top, top-tier pop, Coca-Cola, or whatever, Diet Diet Coke for me.

I love Doca.

Diet Coke.

Okay.

Because people that really like that flavor, that's it.

It's the ride or die.

I know.

I got into it in COVID.

I just, I don't know why.

I was buying them.

And yeah, now I have one almost every day.

Nice.

Start your day off with a cool Diet Coke.

Yeah, it's perfect.

I try not.

I'm drinking a coffee right now, but I try not to drink coffee in the afternoons unless I'm really tired, which I kind of am right now.

But you try to go Diet Coke.

It's a little bit less.

Is there no caffeine in?

There is, but I think it's less than a coffee.

I could be totally wrong.

Yeah.

I'm really having a love affair with Coke Zero at the moment.

Oh, interesting.

That tastes more like

Coke Zero.

It's not

quite there.

Coke is, there's no Coke is it.

There's no Coke is it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had, I was at the movies and I got, by accident, got like a regular large Coke instead of a Diet Coke, and I felt insane afterwards.

I drank the whole thing.

It was so much sugar.

I hadn't had a regular Coke in my life.

What movie was it?

This was The Last Showgirl.

Yeah.

it's

the movie

about Pam Anderson.

Yeah, yeah, there's a little Oscar buzz around that movie for a while.

Yeah,

um, yeah, pretty good.

I saw a movie.

I don't know if this was one of the Oscar movies, a movie called Sing Sing.

It's uh, yeah, that was really good.

Yeah, it was really good.

I like that movie a lot.

Oh, yeah, cool.

You're thinking of Sing 2.

That's right.

Which one has Sesmit Fartland?

Yeah.

See, I don't think he's in the sequel.

Really?

Yeah.

Fuck.

He was the best character in the original.

What the hell?

The crooning mouse?

Have you seen it?

I know that he's the crooning mouse.

He's a crooner.

He loves to croon.

Yeah.

That's like, it's like Bruce Willis in his harmonica and blues thing.

It's like, you're famous for one thing.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll just dip a toe in being a

mean annoying SNL.

Yeah.

Like, you know, that those people don't have imposter syndrome.

Yes.

Yes.

They're like, this is right.

I deserve more of this.

Not only am I, do I belong, I belong in here as well.

Yeah.

Have you ever heard people that say, they're like, oh, I haven't

imposter syndrome.

I just need to get over it.

And it's like, no, no, you deserve that.

You should be.

You suck.

Yeah.

You're not breaking.

Yeah.

Sometimes they're like, oh, no, keep that.

That instinct's good.

Don't lose that.

Yeah, it's, and

for my own edification, it is a, you feel like you're not good enough to be in the thing that you're doing.

You feel like you don't belong there.

You're an imposter.

You're faking your way through every day of work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But like the reaction was to be it's like, no, you're great.

You're just super hard on yourself.

You belong here.

You're just as good as everybody else.

But yeah, and that's sometimes you're like, no, that's justified.

Yeah, it's not going to hurt you to feel this feeling.

Like you can still keep doing it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I think if that must be hard if you're a therapist because you don't get to see the person at work.

Yes.

You don't get to like,

oh, yeah.

Well, I know you feel like you have, you don't belong there.

And

could you send some video of you at work?

Let me be the judge.

Oh, you gave the wrong size there.

I don't know.

The fucking Diet Coke machine's broken.

Yeah.

Imposter syndrome from working in a movie theory.

I don't belong.

I belong in a ditch somewhere.

I feel like my projection was like a centimeter off.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't deserve to be at the Cineplex.

I'd be good thing.

Undercover Therapist.

Has that already been...

That's good.

Your therapist

follows you around and sees if you're justified in your problems or not.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, would you hire it for yourself?

Or would, like, you're

going to go.

I need a private investigator therapist to come follow Graham around.

Yeah.

And then they're like, okay, good news, bad news.

We got to follow him around everywhere.

We got a lot of pictures.

Bad news, he's a serial killer.

I don't know if I, oh boy, when do you become a compulsive masturbator?

He's

clearly a masturbator.

He's really good at it.

He was good at it.

He's certainly no imposter.

Yeah, he knows what he's doing.

He's driven.

Yeah, I love the idea for that show.

Have you ever had like, it feels like a very Larry David kind of thing, seeing somebody that's like your doctor or something outside of doctor's office.

That's a watchdam.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'm trying to think if I have.

Yeah, you have?

Yes.

And they're doing something unhealthy.

No, they were ordering.

They were ordering a burrito, but they were a regular there.

So they were like, the burrito, the veggie burrito, or the, you know, beef burrito, they knew his order.

And so I'm like, so he's here like pretty much every day.

Next time I'm going to talk to him.

Who was it?

Your doctor?

Yeah.

And it was, I was like,

I'm just going to be picturing them eating that burrito.

Yeah.

You know,

every time he leaves the room when you're at the doctor's office, you're going to be like, he's probably farting.

Yeah.

I'll be right back.

Next time you go for a checkup, you're like, bring him a burrito.

Like, how about you up to make me a little taller?

Brivo.

I don't know what the check is.

How do you mean private doctor?

Yeah.

Change the records.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got a few vertebraes I could replace.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's,

I feel like I was just watching Breaking Bad, and there was when he gets the cancer diagnosis, his doctor has mustard on his shirt.

That's all you can focus on.

So it's like, I just don't think of these people as being people who eat or drive cars or have houses.

Well, probably have houses, but I don't want to know what kind of car my doctor drives.

Oh,

I see like doctors with,

you know,

I I do see doctors without borders.

Some would call them medicines frontiers.

Right.

I see, like, you'll be in traffic and you'll see like a

license plate, a personalized license plate that's like neck doctor.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

Help!

He's knocking on the window.

Help, I need a trinket of me.

Yeah, I one time went to a foot doctor, and he was the funniest guy ever.

Like he really missed his calling as being in comedy.

Like I'm sure he makes a million dollars a year.

Yeah.

But he was so funny.

I couldn't get over it.

Just constantly joking around.

He's like, you must think I'm insane.

And I was like, I do.

I think you're insane for being in this profession.

Also, you just seem crazy.

Do you have props?

Well, I'm going to use my foot as a prop.

Hello.

And he was doing,

he was selling me on the procedure like you would a used car.

He's like, Okay, well, I could do two things.

I could do this one, but I personally, if I was going to get them, I would do this one over here.

Where footsteps you need done, I had a, I had a nail that needed to be uh corrected.

Oh, okay.

Um, and it's being naughty, it was being naughty.

I had to separate it from the other toes, dunce cap.

Yeah, I wonder when the last time a person wore a dunce cap was.

Oh, 2025.

Really?

I'm sure.

Some schools still have dunce caps.

Of course.

Such a funny, like, specific.

Like, do they get those at a school supply store?

Do they make their own

Staples?

Yeah, you do get them in the teacher's department of Staples.

Yeah, back to school shopping.

My mom bought me a dunce cap.

I don't know.

You often just wear it.

You can, yes.

Was there a kind of paper called Foolscap?

Yeah.

Was it Foolscap lined?

But could you...

I always pictured like you would turn it into a cone and make it into a hat.

It was kind of crafty.

I remember Foolscap.

Foolscap.

Oh, fool's cap.

Yeah.

Oh.

Why did I think it was like fool's cap?

Fool's cap.

Well, because it makes more sense.

Is that

let me just look up fool's cap.

Yeah, I uh

a size of paper, about 13 by 8 inches, which wouldn't be a big enough size to make

to make of Dunscap, right?

But it is fool's cap.

It's too small, yeah.

Do your

daughters, do they do anything on paper?

Like, any like homework or anything?

Is that all iPad, all computer?

It's all on paper.

It's still all on paper?

They have to like sometimes do research.

Oh, sure, okay.

On the computer, but yeah, no, everything else is still handy.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Wikipedia still, like, don't use Wikipedia.

Is that a thing anymore?

I don't know, because they're not, they're, they're like grade three and five, so they're not really doing

their Woodward and Bernstein work.

They're like citing sources.

They're not looking up the biggest malls on Wikipedia.

But Wikipedia is all citation.

I mean, if I was a student right now, I would go to Wikipedia and then I would click on the the things that they're citing and I have you ever done that and that site thing they're citing is so wrong?

Like the thing that they've cited?

Because that also takes um like somebody has to comb through those and make sure that they actually link to because sometimes it's like a site that's not there anymore.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was when I was at CBC Music, I would interview artists and things.

And I, uh, sometimes my work would get cited on.

And then, like, a couple of years after I left, they just got rid of that whole part of CBC Music, like all the web, all the blogs.

They vanished that thing

100%.

So if you want to know, like, if you want to find out the

Nellie Fritado song parking lot,

what specific parking lot she's singing about, you can't find it anymore.

Wow.

Wow.

That was the real heady days of blogs.

It was like the top

blogs, super cuts.

Yeah.

Dave did a super cut that went super viral.

It

yeah.

It was a David Letterman asking his musical guest if that was their drums.

Oh, yeah.

I rented their drums.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was mine.

That was him.

Yeah, amazing.

Yeah.

You're in the presence of a viral sensation.

Of a YouTuber.

What?

You've posted on YouTube?

I've posted on YouTube, and I would post more, but I can't find my password.

Yeah.

Oh, fair.

Me too.

Me too.

What was your first YouTube video that you ever saw, Nathan?

That I ever saw.

That's a really good question.

I mean,

like, I remember, like, I don't know if it was the first one, but like, Charlie bit my finger.

I remember that was like a classic.

Yeah, that was huge.

Like, that's, like, that.

And I was really into it.

You guys know the group Smosh?

Yes.

Yeah.

I was obsessed with Smosh.

Like, that was

what got me into comedy almost.

Was Smosh two guys guys or a group?

Because two guys.

And you go back and watch their videos and they're so bad.

Yeah.

Are they still in existence?

Yeah, now it's like they've turned it into a whole media.

Like a channel, yeah.

Yeah, like a channel.

And my friend was actually writing.

I'm sure, I think it's probably great now.

My friend was actually writing for them, but like their early videos that they were just making on like a little digital camera.

I mean, they're like, they're teenagers.

Isn't it great when something is like kind of bad and then it turns good?

Yeah.

Yeah, that is good.

It's

unusual.

Normally a thing's good and then it gets bad.

Yeah, it's true.

Yeah.

They had a book come out.

I remember because it was in the like discount bin.

And I was like, who the hell are these guys?

And I flipped through and I was like, this book is garbage.

It is just a piece of garbage.

It was stretching a thing into a book.

But I remember it was those guys.

The Smosh Brothers?

I wonder what was it?

They had like emo hair.

Yeah.

Like long emo hair and they would be like, no, you can't do that.

Like it was all, those are the sketches were just yelling.

and i was like this is actually the funniest thing about me

i want to do this like i'm going to do this

and i did yeah thank you smosh because you're on uh you do very well on the tick tock do very well on the instagram uh yeah he does pretty well yeah he does okay this guy um but you do like do you make like a post a day or no oh not a day not a day maybe like a couple a week or once a week yeah okay yeah that seems sane and sustainable yes yeah i i i think i was trying to do once a day but then i couldn't i couldn't come up with anything

i was like i'm not even i don't have anything to say i don't need to be doing this every day that's what i felt like with uh like cartoon strips that like they'd have to come up with like seven a week yeah just like what the fuck like there's no but some of them were actually good um kelvin and hubbs farside Maybe those are the two.

Yeah, yeah.

I never loved Calvin and Hobbes.

No?

I know everyone my age does.

It's, I mean, for me, it's now just nostalgia.

Yeah.

And we had like the big compendiums of them.

Oh, sure.

And I was like, okay.

I didn't hate them.

No.

People were gaga for that boy in his life.

Lagging for it.

Yeah, the existential.

Yeah, this existential boy.

I realized, yeah, those ones, I remember we had...

My grandma had like the big books of them.

And I realized, I think what I liked was not necessarily Calvin and Hobbes, but just like having something to do at my grandma's house.

Yeah.

Not having to talk to her.

Oh my god, I can do anything but talk to my grandma.

How often do you see, or did you see your grandma?

Uh, like, did she live near you?

She lived pretty near, yeah.

It was, it was like, probably, like, a 40-minute drive or something.

Okay, yeah, yeah, I think for anybody out there, it's uh, become a grandparent, do your grandchild the service of just leaving them alone.

Yeah,

get a big Garfield book.

Yeah, that's right.

Get one of those rectangle guys, Yeah.

Get a big, get a, you know,

a sugary cereal.

Yeah.

Sugary cereal.

It'll last you years because the kids only visit for three days and then they're gone.

Don't bother telling them stuff that they did when they were a kid before they were able to remember things.

Don't bother telling them stuff you did as a kid.

Yeah.

Don't tell them that used to be a bank.

Don't tell them that something used to cost $7.

Now when I come back to Vancouver, I'm like just fascinated what's changed, even like in a year or whatever.

How long have you been gone?

A year?

Yeah, a year and a half.

But it's just changed.

Just like random stores.

I'm like, oh, that's a new store.

I love it.

I just like to.

That's a freshie now.

Ride the bus.

Yeah, exactly.

That's a freshie?

And that's a freshie?

Mark's work warehouse changed their logo.

It's like, I don't know.

I love it.

You're still in Canada.

Yeah.

You're in Toronto now.

And

it's snowing so hard back there.

Yeah.

Did you, were you there for any of it?

I was, yeah.

I was a total blizzard, and

basically all the flights were canceled, but mine wasn't.

Well, they knew you had important business going on.

Yeah, I called Air Canada.

I was like, I'm doing stand-up.

So if you could just keep one flight.

And they were like, okay, well, we'll, we have, okay, we'll send your flight out, but the next flight, the Lancer is going to be upside down.

Yeah.

I thought you wanted the flight to be funny.

I misinterpreted what you said.

Kenzel, Washington flying this the next Delta Delta flight.

I can only make that joke because at this time everyone's alive.

That's right.

But yeah, then I was caught in the blizzard, but my flight was fine, but the subway was down or wasn't open yet.

I didn't realize the subway wasn't open until 8, which seems so late.

How are you going to have a breakfast sandwich?

Exactly.

Exactly.

I'd be supposed to get a cold cut combo.

You're supposed to get a breakfast quiz note?

Yeah.

Exactly.

Your morning cold cup combo and Diet Coke.

That's how I lost 700 pounds.

Yes.

And then I, exactly.

Huge jeans.

But then I got this.

So I got an Uber.

I got

an Uber with this guy that, like, I was like, dude, why are you even drawing?

He was driving.

He was so nervous in the snow.

We kept stalling and going.

Why are you even driving?

For money.

Yeah, no, I know.

I just mean like, he was just like, I don't know, man.

Like, I'm stressed.

This is a lot.

He was really not inspiring confidence.

He's like, he wouldn't even go into like, yeah, he wouldn't come down my street.

He's like, can you meet me on the on the main street?

I was like, I don't want to be in the super either, man.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

And he's the whole time.

He's like,

you know what?

Sometimes I think about just parking this and walking away.

Yes.

I know.

I really was getting that vibe.

I was like, sometimes I think about driving this into the lake.

Yeah.

It's funny how, like, Toronto, you don't realize that Toronto is the center of the universe in Canada until something like a snowstorm happens.

Yeah.

And then all my emails are like Air Canada being like, get away from the snow.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, how do you, because in Kelowna, you didn't really have winter winters, right?

It's, it's a bit more wintery.

Yeah.

Okay.

For sure.

Yeah.

Especially compared to Vancouver.

Yeah.

But it's like a UK, you winter guy?

Yeah, I like it.

I, I like it a lot.

I think I prefer, because it's like, if it's sunny and snowy, I really like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that rock.

That's a good look.

But coming here and I think my problem is I just kind of like everywhere.

Like I, every time I visit a city, I'm like, oh, I should move here.

Really?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, you let us know when you go to Edmonton how you feel about that.

But I think that I just am like always

doing something fun.

So I'm like, oh, I'm in a good mood.

I'm out in a boat, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because when I came here, I was like, oh, it's so nice.

It's so fresh.

And the kind of like.

Just the Pacific Northwest vibe.

I was like, oh, I really miss this.

Yeah.

And the kind of the milder winter.

I was like, oh, this is so nice.

But then I go back to Toronto.

I'm like, oh, I love the snow.

Maybe you're just full of love.

I'm just full of love.

I love everywhere.

I mean, visiting places is it's pretty easy to live or go somewhere for three days and be like, I could live here.

Exactly.

That's what I mean.

I have that problem.

I was in Regina last year to do a show, and I was like, Regina is awesome.

I was like, I think what I like is getting drunk with my friends.

Yeah.

That's what I

that's what I enjoy.

It's not Regina that was the fun part of that equipment.

My job doesn't know I'm here.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's

I didn't mean to dis Edmonton.

I love you guys.

You're there, you knuckleheads.

No,

when you said, we'll see how you feel.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, the mall, I mean, you don't really get a full Edmonton experience until you stay in the mall for 48 hours.

Yes.

I'm going to come.

I'm going to do so much shopping.

Yeah, well, what shop are you looking forward to the most?

Do they have shops that we don't even have?

They have shops.

It's so indescribable.

It's like a color you've never seen before.

Oh, shit.

You can't even describe it.

You know, it's how do you describe a new color?

All right.

No, I actually think that I was looking at the directory.

Yeah, I'm pulling it up right now.

And there was nothing I was interested in.

I don't know what I'm going to be doing there.

But they have two AWs.

Oh, well, there you go.

What do they have two of them?

Graham, remind me what ANW stands for.

No, you remind me what it is.

No, you remind me.

Hambook is a whoopier.

They have two Auroras, Aurora Cannabis and Aurora Regular, whatever that is.

Nice.

Bailey Nelson, you could try on different classes.

They have two bells.

Nice.

I just want to see what they have multiples of.

Two bells.

Two bells, so if you need a cell phone.

I can get two phones.

A Best Buy, a Best Buy Express.

Are there any freestanding Burks, or are they always in malls?

Burks, like the diamond guy?

Yeah, there's one downtown.

Oh, okay.

I guess I'm just not buying as much jewelry as I used to.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, they got a Blue Notes?

get some jewels yeah do you need somewhere to party at night absolutely

oh i can't wait for that definitely gonna go to that there's a place called caesars bingo yeah there's only one build-up bear this doesn't seem like that many like you're you're scrolling down you're already at the sea yeah there's feel like it's the that big of a mall there's two case logics so those are both gonna be what are these case logics

case logics that used to be the name of like the brand that you get your uh cd folder oh this is case logic now it looks like like they do cell phone cases.

This is just a cash ATM machine.

I love that they're listing that as a store.

They've got eight of them.

They've got eight.

Oh, wow.

Okay, I got it.

Hey, West Emotonal Challenge.

Chick-fil-A, they got a Chick-fil-A.

They got three CIBCs.

Oh, I banked with them, so that'll be good.

That'd be fun.

Lots of options.

I used to bank with them.

They sucked.

Not enough stores in the West Emotional Australia.

So, yeah.

David St, they got a David St.

Two DQs, two Dr.

Mobiles, two Dream Riders.

What's Dragon Effects?

I wonder what Dragon Effects is.

Let's find out.

Virtual reality.

Go to the Ultimate and Body Art.

Visit Dragon Effects.

Yeah.

Okay.

Tattoos in a Safe Hygienic Environment.

You got to come back from this trip with a tattoo.

I might have a tattoo.

Yeah, what if you and your friends all get the West Edmonton logo?

Just to remember this feeling.

Yes, exactly.

Ed's bowling and Ed's karaoke.

Ed be,

well, Ed, good for Ed.

Do you have any tattoos?

Yeah, I don't.

I've have one that I, my friend drew.

Like, I have a thing that my friend drew that I've been waiting since I think it was 2016.

And I've been, I, I was like, draw me this.

I'm going to wait as long as possible.

And if I still like it, which I do, yeah, I'll get it.

So I might get it this year because I'm turning 30 this year.

Oh, congratulations.

And so, thank you.

I made it.

You look great.

You look great.

You're feeling great?

Feel great.

Nice.

Good, good, good.

But yeah, it's a kind of Grim Reaper

holding a coffee mug.

Okay.

What do you think of that?

Should I get that?

Yeah.

Kind of a Grateful Dead-esque looking

artwork.

And is this color?

Is this just black?

Black and white.

Black and white.

What do you think?

I like it.

All right.

Maybe I'll get it.

Without having seen it,

I like it.

I would love to see it, if that's at all possible.

Yeah, if we could please get it on my desk by Friday.

They only have two Starbucks.

They have four TD Banks.

Four TD Banks.

Oh, TD Banks.

They got an old spaghetti factory.

Ooh, that?

I might have to go to that.

Two rec rooms?

You got to go to Rec Room.

What's Rec Room?

It's like, you know, axe throwing and video games.

Oh, no idea, Dave.

But these rec room comedy shows here.

Yes, they did.

Yeah.

I feel like a few comedians were killed by axes.

They all look at me.

He's coming with apples on their heads.

Yes, because I did one here and you could, when I, during my set, I was bombing, and I could hear the like ding ding ding of the machines

in place of laughter.

Yeah.

I did one at a casino, and yeah, they put a curtain around, but you could still hear this.

It was the very specific

game was a Ghostbusters one.

So every minute it would go, ta-da, nana na, nana.

My favorite was performing at coffee shops and when you're bombing and you just hear milk frothing.

Yes, so loud.

Yeah.

Been there.

Been there for sure.

Yeah.

Is

yeah, I feel like every place is willing to try stand up once.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's most of the time it's awful.

So yeah.

Yeah.

I do love when a g a new show is starting up and the comedian that is running is like, and they're going to be paying all the acts

week one.

Totally.

Or when they're like, we're doing it every week until the end of time.

It's like, hey, okay.

This will be six months.

Yeah.

Don't start an Instagram for this.

Yeah.

Doing it every week until the weather gets good.

Yeah, yeah.

Or the connect to make the playoffs.

Yeah.

And then it's like summer hiatus.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Summer hiatus.

Forever.

Hey guys.

So they're like there were 50 followers.

Hey guys, we're taking a break for the summer.

It's like nobody is paying attention.

No one's going to show up and be like oh i thought i thought

my favorite place was good sleep you guys can't go on hiatus it's the summer i thought the show in the basement of a tattoo parlor was gonna last forever but it's so hot down here we have to do it

it's stifling

yeah is uh because that's a thing that started happening in vancouver people paying each other to do the acts, which I'm like, well, we just all keep our money and not do it.

But do they do that in Toronto as well?

Is this?

Yeah,

I think most people just try to give like 10 bucks or whatever.

Sure.

Yeah.

But

definitely in Toronto, I feel like there's a lot, like the venues are a lot smaller or something, or like the crowds are a lot smaller for the most part.

There's just like so many shows.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I find.

It's like here the shows are, there's less shows, but they're bigger audiences.

Right.

So I don't know.

It kind of evens out.

I wouldn't say one's better than the other, but you do seven shows a night.

Are you one of those you grind in?

I don't definitely don't do seven shows a night but i do i i do enough i don't know what's the most both of you what's the most shows you've done in a night uh it probably was seven yeah i think it's one of those where the first one started at like five it was like a pot smoking one and then it just kept going yeah different in vancouver in vancouver yeah yeah i remember i did most i ever is done is five i think and it was only one of them was actually good like it was like i was like oh i should have just done one show i would have would have gone home happy it was like the one in the middle, too.

It was like sandwiched between like, I had like bad set, bad set, good set, bad set.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Um, I uh, I always say when it comes to shows, uh, my

nickname is, oh, you should have been here last week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Always last week.

Oh, it was crazy.

So great.

I'm sorry there's nobody here to see me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, Dave, what's going on with you, my friend?

Well, we are, uh, you know, we're supposed to be saving money these days.

You know, there's.

I'm not even buying gas anymore.

I'm stealing it from a guy down the street.

I just steal all mine from the truck room at the West Edmonton Mall Fantasyland Hotel.

I've been siphoning it out of the

sound of alarm.

It's just like,

someone stole the gas from our room.

Honey, get in.

Runs down the hallway.

Going into the igloo room with

oil in a carry can yeah we've got to stay warm in it

over the fire yeah igloo room has a little fire pit that'd be awesome they're pouring gasoline on it

um but uh yeah

uh so like uh we're tightening the purse strings there's a trade war or possible american invasion coming yep we're we're ready for either and both anyway i've got some stuff at work that is not quite taken starting up yet.

So, I've, you know, I have yet to be paid for a couple of things.

So, uh, this now is the perfect time for my dog to uh tear her ACL.

What?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Now, for I don't know what an ACL is.

I've heard that phrase.

It's a knee leg event.

Knee leg event.

And dogs don't actually have them.

They have CCLs.

CCLs.

That's cuter.

Yeah.

And they, oh boy, they have BBLs.

Yeah.

Hell yeah.

They They have those, yeah.

Big, beautiful legs.

Anyway, yeah, last week, I,

there was nothing that caused it, but just one day my dog Irma, who's two and a half, just started limping and just wouldn't put any weight on her back leg,

one of her back legs.

She has two.

Yeah.

And then we were like, oh, no, that looks bad.

Yeah.

That looks pricey.

Was

there whining?

Was there whinging?

No, it doesn't seem to hurt.

Okay.

So we took her to the vet and they were like, come back tomorrow.

We'll x-ray her.

We'll knock her out and x-ray her.

Yeah, we'll give you a little something.

Give you a quick taste.

And so they did that and they're like, yep, it's bad.

Oh, shit.

But

she's not in any pain.

Right.

But we do give her a pain medicine every day now.

And then

we have to meet with the

surgeon.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, so this is like, uh, like prime.

This is gonna, yeah, this is gonna financially ruin me.

Uh, shit.

Yeah.

I, uh,

I have to sell all my investments, all the stocks I bought in

Zara.

Zara.

To sell your Zara clothes.

All my Le Chateau.

Yeah, it's, I, uh, my friend's a vet, and she's basically going to retire within two years

because it's so good.

So good.

She's like, I'm semi-retired already.

I'm like, you're semi-retired.

You're younger than me.

What the fuck?

She's eating a burrito every day.

They know her at the burrito place.

Yeah, the burrito she gets is huge.

She's so rich.

Biggest burrito you've ever seen.

Guok is extra.

Yeah, I can afford it.

Make it rain, guac.

But anyway, it sucks having dogs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like, what is the

like prognosis?

Like negative.

Oh, shit.

Are they doing surgery and then there's like weeks of recovery?

Or is it so?

They were like, there's recovery.

And I was like, how long is the recovery?

And you go, three months.

Three months.

Jesus.

But they're like, it's active recovery.

You don't, I don't know.

Like, this was just one phone call.

So you're not like, you don't have to confine the dog in the cage for 23 hours a day or anything.

And every week you do more activities.

And the cone, how long do they have to wear the cone?

I don't know about the cone.

Yeah.

Cone.

Is there anything that we've developed that's better than the cone?

Feels like somebody would have come up with it.

Yeah.

Can they put that?

Oh, it's been around a while.

Yeah, can they put that to stuff that's like

for people who want to stop biting their nails?

Oh, like, is it like gross?

Yeah, stuff.

Put that on the dogs.

Dogs, I love gross stuff the most.

I've never tried that.

Will you buy your nails?

I do buy my nails, yeah.

Have you tried a cone?

One more.

Yeah.

Yeah, I

do as well.

And I tried to go off and just try to cut them as small as I possibly could.

But then, you know, one just grew a little bit too long.

It is back on the hand.

I'm back on the hand, man.

I like them.

Short.

Short?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I try to do that.

And then the

couple of days afterwards, it's like a pain in the ass to like, if you have to, you know, open a tough container or something.

Yes.

It actually hurts.

And then, but oh boy,

and then sometimes now that I'm, you know, I'm gonna be 30 this year, and congratulations!

And so now my nails grow at different speeds, like I'll cut them all one day, and then just the indexes are

oh wow, yeah, yeah, I just know that um, once in a while, one will get a little too long, and then there's a part of me that's like, let's see how long it could get, yes, but there's no glory in that growing up.

Did did you ever get uh have someone bully you and ask,

hey, tell you to look at your nails?

And there was like one, either this way or this way, is the gay way of doing it.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

No matter what I do.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, they're both.

I'm just naturally very graceful.

Yeah.

I check them one time, one at a time.

We didn't think of that.

We grew up in a very,

here's how I know you're gay.

It's all very arbitrary, it seemed.

Yeah.

I mean, I kind of feel like there was one thing that would make you gay.

Yeah, exactly.

But there was a big list in high school.

Yeah.

Yeah.

High school wasn't the best.

I think we all agree.

Unless, did you love high school?

Well, I went to the West Emonton Mall.

Oh, shit.

I remember being like wearing a plaid shirt, like this, kind of like the shirt you're wearing, just a plaid shirt.

regular getting called gay for that for a plaid shirt for a plaid shirt and you're much younger than we are.

Yeah.

Huh.

Even wearing glasses.

Wearing glasses.

Well, I mean, you can make it easy for them by wearing glasses.

That's on you, man.

Yeah.

That's on me.

That's on me.

Wearing glasses like Judy Garland herself.

Anyway,

been going to the vet a lot lately.

I'm sorry to hear it.

This sounds awful.

The vet.

Our vet is great.

We love our vet.

And they're all like, they get so excited when our dogs get there.

They're like, I don't know if they treat everyone this way, but they really love our dogs, like all the vet techs.

And the, but there was a new vet tech who was like, when I brought Irma home, was like giving me, okay, don't feed her until this time.

After midnight.

Get her wet.

Don't get her wet.

And then after this, you can give her food.

And

so as I was walking, she's like, oh, just one more thing.

And then like crouched down and gave the dog like 20 kisses.

Aww.

You're going to be okay.

You never get that from the

regular doctor?

Yeah, the woman at the desk on the doctor when you walk out.

Come here, you.

Yeah, what's your availability like in six months?

And let's make out really quick.

Yeah.

My dentist keeps sending me texts going, it's the time.

Now's the time.

My dentist has moved me to every four months.

Bro, okay, quarterly.

I'm going to, no, not quarterly.

Thirdly.

Oh, thirdly, yeah.

Sorry.

Thirdly.

But I'm going to, I'm going to cancel this.

And I'm going to be, come on.

This is your choice to make me every six months, every four months.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They know what they're doing.

They absolutely know what they're doing.

I love my dentist, though.

I'm just getting like all these.

Medical professionals in my life are the greatest.

I had the best dentist.

Then she left.

So now I'm just going to the place where she used to work.

Oh, which I have no affection for whatsoever, but they already have my chart face.

Yeah.

You've got your love for your foot doctor, too.

So funny.

I wish I had a foot problem every year so I could go visit him and hear him talking about it.

Oh, I can give you a foot problem.

No, no, no.

Hold still.

I'm going to

put your foot in the pencil sharpener.

Sharpener.

That makes you gay if you're putting foot in a pencil sharpener.

Well,

what happens if you can fit your hand over your face?

Smack.

Yeah.

Anyway, so dog stuff is great.

I recommend getting two dogs so they can both get injured at the same time.

Is Monster okay?

Monster's great.

Okay.

And if this was happening to Monster, they might, they were like, there's like a weight threshold.

Like if your dog is a certain weight, they don't, they might not have to do it.

Oh, I see.

And, but Irma is just so big and powerful.

She's got the powerful legs she does we didn't like even witness any kind of

like she doesn't run around off leash or anything so and we she didn't ever have like a moment where she was like ah

there goes the acl

that's uh yeah because at a certain point in everyone's life just things

stop working yeah usually it happens when you're you're fine because you're 30 you know you've got quite a while to go before or do you have something where you're like like my finger what's going up now

i've

yeah like my back.

I really need to start stretching.

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah.

I've been trying to do that.

But it's impossible.

I still want to.

Yeah.

So it's impossible.

It's literally impossible.

It's one of the hardest things on earth to want to do.

To want to.

Yeah, exactly.

No, I hate it.

I was doing yoga like multiple times a week.

Oh, nice.

And then I just got so bored of it.

Yeah.

And now I just do my favorite stretch.

Child's pose.

Is that where you just lie down on the floor?

Lie down face down, but with your knees apart.

Oh, that sounds pretty good.

I'm going to try that as soon as I get home.

On a bed tonight when I'm trying to go back.

And try to hump the bed.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like I, yeah, like my back.

I don't know.

I've been sore lately.

I'm like, I gotta stretch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the beginning.

It's the beginning.

Beginning.

Yeah, I feel like I should stretch too.

Everybody thinks they should and don't.

Same with going to the dentist, you know?

You tell them you're going to do this and that.

You're not.

Yeah.

People still wait.

No.

Not this guy.

Dentists are closing left and right because people say they're going to go, but they never just hate this new technique.

Not showing up.

Yeah.

Dentists hate it when you miss your appointment.

During COVID, people realize we don't actually need to go to the dentist.

That's right.

Exactly.

Talk about your non-essential services.

You just,

you get yourself one of those small mirrors.

You can do basically all the work that they do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got a hole in your tooth.

You know, it's a good thing.

My favorite drywall.

Because now they do, they'll just paint on the fluoride.

Yeah.

But I liked when they used that rubber rotating thing that would

really?

Yeah.

I liked the trays.

I missed the trays.

Oh, the trays.

The trays was like,

it's just a moment where you can't do anything else.

You're just sitting there enjoying the moment.

Trying not to swallow this bubblegum flavored.

That's one of my best ideas.

My best ideas when I have the trays.

Where did bubblegum flavor come from?

Bubblegum, I'm guessing.

But did that

flavor profile exist before?

Well,

yeah.

Because what was the first one, like double bubble?

I mean, whatever was like...

First gum.

Probably whatever they were, you know.

Like,

Big League Chew.

Didn't gum start existing because they needed to sell baseball cards.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

I have no idea, but I love the stuff.

I can't get enough gum.

What's the origin of gum?

Was it the

alternative to chewing tobacco?

It was probably.

Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

Or like something that

travelers or whatever would find because it comes from trees.

The original.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So maybe they just chewed on it and it was.

It was just fun to chew.

Did the Wright brothers invent it?

Because

your ears are going to pop.

Yeah, yeah.

Either way no matter which way we do those ears are gonna pop um yeah I don't know I I could look into it but please look into it yeah but I just don't have time you guys it was so much stretch my Wikipedia only does malls yeah

well I'm changing that you have to pay now to get out of

one topic

you one thing yeah and then I got to pay for the rest Graham's a Wikipedia donor yeah I donate to him oh nice because I feel like it's a website that I use every single day.

So

I always feel

guilty whenever I see that guy's face.

Yeah.

Scroll right by him.

Yeah.

You don't feel that guilty.

No, I actually get a little bit of pleasure out of just scrolling.

I don't have to look at you.

They should have a feature on the site as like as the face goes up the article as you're scrolling.

He should get sadder and sadder.

And then you're scrolling up and he starts smiling and then he goes sad again.

Like a hologram.

Yes.

So we're in dog health hell.

And

what's going on with you?

This past week, as of this recording, was Valentine's Day.

Oh, yeah.

Popular amongst the Hallmark folks.

The flowered FTD, they love it.

Blossom Pizza.

Exactly.

Heart-shaped pizza.

Nirvana.

Nirvana.

Hot tubs that are shaped like our hearts.

These are all big beneficiaries of the big day, February 14th.

And I was.

Do you have like a

favorite like heart emoji that you send to your love?

Oh, that's a good one.

Do you do the heart eyes, the cat heart eyes, the just regular heart, brown heart?

I think I do just regular heart now that I think of it.

I mean, unless it's something sad and I do break hearts.

Broken heart, yeah.

Oh, man.

Maybe I'll just make that my regular, no matter what people send me to send them back.

You're killing me.

Oh, you don't want to get a lunch with me?

What are you listening to?

Tears in heaven.

Oh, shit.

Yeah,

I had a show on Valentine's Day.

I had a show at a very fancy place called the Vancouver Club,

which is...

Have you ever heard of it?

No.

Oh, members only like...

Is it like leather chairs?

Yeah, one floor is like totally like.

It's in the West End?

No, it's on like Hastings Street near Granville.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

You'd walk right past it if you didn't know.

Oh, of course.

Like, it doesn't have a big sign or anything.

But,

and, like, the membership fees is, like, some crazy $15,000 a year or something like that.

Which I mean, I'd be like, well, I could save up and just do a month.

I could do a month of the year.

Can I just have one month and come in?

Do you guys do dog surgery?

and someone was saying because it used to be uh men only and then they decided to open it up to women except and i don't know if this is true at all but i was told that there's still a floor that is men's only oh sure

well i think there's probably a bathroom in anyway that's men's only

they're pretty old-fashioned in that one oh they're bathrooms uh

No paper towel, just cloth towel that you throw in a hole that's in a

hamper.

That's nice.

Yeah.

I was picturing the cloth.

Oh, the

that thing.

What is that thing called?

The paper, like the dispenser.

Yeah, cloth dispenser with the just like

blue.

What has to deal with that?

Yeah.

That was a weird.

That was weird.

That was strange.

But I like having just a towel that you just talk.

There's something so satisfying with tossing it in the laundry bag that you're like, done.

It does feel like very...

High-end that they would have this.

Oh, nice.

Also, they had like a mouthwash there that you could try out.

Bubblegum flavor.

Do you, was this a show for members?

This was a show for members, but they had to like buy a ticket to the show.

Oh, okay.

So they put on a thing.

This is like the Valentine's Day.

Bring your

mother or your wife or mistress?

I did a joke about Mistress killed.

Oh.

There might be a guy here with a Mistress.

Aha, they all laughed.

Pretty much.

Confirming what I thought.

He knows us.

He gets us.

Who put this show on?

It's a guy named Terry that I knew.

He did stand-up like a million years ago, and he's a member there.

So I've done this gig a couple of times, but

this time was they kind of had it all really together in a way that they had like all the

they had the sound system and they had a sound guy that was like a rock and roll sound guy.

Like he was wearing like a leather jacket and leather vest rather.

And like he probably just he had to move like two knobs And then that was it.

Like, he didn't do anything.

They don't do anything even at rock and roll shit.

Yeah.

They fight with the guitarist who turns up his hand.

Yeah.

And

he was talking to me after he's talking about he's in a band.

And I was like, I don't, I don't want to have this conversation.

Job is right.

How many comics?

There was myself.

There was past guest Rachel Schaefer.

Past guest Mark Chavez.

Oh,

Daniel.

No, they did a little improv.

And they did the thing, and man, it destroyed.

Like, it's they get a person out of the audience, you get them to make the sound effects.

You start telling the story, they make the sound effects.

Leveled the place.

People loved it.

And there was this guy.

I love this guy.

Because they make fun of the guy.

They do like the wrong

things.

They say he's doing a bad job.

Or, you know, you do the same sound effect for every single, you know, which was her thing.

She did a lot of like ping, ping, ping.

Like text message.

He's playing a guitar, right?

That one string.

Yeah.

Nice.

And there was a guy there.

I was told before the show that they were like, oh, there's a guy you should point out and make fun of.

His name's Brad.

And I was like, why?

And she's like, he hates being here.

His wife's a member.

She drags him here once a year.

He wears jeans.

He's not supposed to wear jeans.

He wears jeans.

He takes off his baseball cap, but only puts it on the loop of his belt.

And

wait, what is that?

He calls everyone a varmin.

But yeah, he hates it, and he won't follow the rules.

And I guess they think enough of her to have her be in charge of him.

It sounds like a corporate gig where it was like, make fun of the boss.

Yeah, that's right.

And I was like, what's going to be so funny about making fun of this guy?

And then I did.

Killed.

And he stood up.

He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, he likes it.

Yeah, he loved

And then afterwards, we were standing waiting for an Uber, and he walked out.

He's like, I'm glad to be out.

Like, off to the cab.

He's like, see you then.

Putting the hat back on.

Oh, it feels great.

I remember in high school.

So there's two downtown social clubs that are like fancy, super expensive ones.

One's called the Vancouver Club, one's called the Terminal City Club.

Oh, cool.

And I remember a guy in my high school was like, his dad belonged to one of them.

I forget which one, because I couldn't tell you what the difference is.

Yeah.

But he was like, oh, well,

people in the Vancouver Club own everything in the city, but people in the Terminal City Club run the whole city.

And I was like, what's better?

But it might have been, I might have had those backwards.

I don't know.

I feel like we run this city.

That sounds like it's more

owning the city.

Well, did he run the city?

Not anymore.

Why?

What happened?

He got Fogled.

I was thinking of him.

I was just thinking of those pants.

What happened to those pants?

The Fogel pants?

Yeah, the Fogel pants.

They would be in style now.

When is this going to go?

When are we over?

Just like such a big belt to get it all.

You're talking about a sound guy.

I had a funny thing.

I went to a Beach Boys

tribute band.

Awesome.

It was great.

What were they called?

The Coco 05?

The Beachmen.

No.

The Beach Men?

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

They were funny.

They were like younger guys, like in their 30s.

That's like a first draft.

It is.

It is.

Yeah.

We should just do a, we should have a Beach Boys cover band called The Beach Men.

Yeah.

Which also just sounds like a band.

Yes.

Beach Man.

Yeah, it sounds like

a worse name than the Beach Boys, you know?

But they were great.

I mean,

my friend was a fan.

He took me.

It was really fun.

They were awesome.

But I was standing right next to the sound guy.

And at a certain point, the sound guy looked over at me.

He goes, Hey, I really need your help.

He goes, The bassist's mic is off.

Can you go?

I have to man the board.

Can you go up on stage and tell the bassist that his mic is off?

I'm like, okay.

And he's like, please, I'll buy you a drink.

Well, you know, we go way back, so anything for you is happening.

So I was like, okay.

So I went up on stage and everyone's looking at me like, what the fuck are you doing?

And my friend was like, I thought you went insane.

Were you hypnotized?

Yeah.

And I went to to the bassist and I said, Hey, your mic's off.

He went, What?

Why are you up here?

So the sound guy told me that

your mic is off.

And they're like, Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, baran.

I'm like, well, can't hear your harmonies, dude.

And he was like, oh, okay.

And then I like tried to get off the stage and like went down.

And the sound guy was like, thank you.

He was so happy that I did it.

And he bought me a beer.

And I was like, this is crazy.

That is crazy.

I'm like, yeah, what a request.

It's so funny.

And then I was standing, and then I just stood next to him the whole show, the sound guy.

Because that's like

a real band.

They have security to keep people off stage.

But they also probably have monitors to tell your microphones off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But like, yeah, good for you, man.

You saw the dangerous assignment?

You took it.

I took it.

I took it.

Yeah.

You're all right.

That's what the sound guy said.

You're all right, kid.

I go up to the band afterwards.

I'm like, so I kind of saved the day, didn't I?

Like, you ruined that song.

The bassists, but yeah, the bassist Mike, who I don't think I could tell the difference

when it was on or off.

Um, yeah, it's uh, why do they have mics that turn on and off?

I don't know.

The one mic, yeah, there was a professional guy there, too, and the one mic kept cutting out.

And I was like, This is the

one thing you need.

Yeah, yeah, that's crazy.

When there is a tech person and they're like, they look at you, they're like, I don't know.

Yeah,

yeah.

Yeah, so it was, yeah, it was a lot lot of fun.

Brad was great.

The show was really fun.

And like, I went there to meet this guy that was putting on the show like a couple of months ago.

And I walked in just wearing like jeans and a hat.

And this guy couldn't have been on me fast enough.

He's like, oh, what do you, what are you, what are you doing in here?

What place do you think this is?

Are you here to fix something?

But yeah, it was, and then we went to the bar and it's a bar where you can keep your own bottle in like a

locker.

Yeah, I thought that was a pretty fancy.

Well, is that fancy or is it less fancy to have to bring your own bottle?

That's weird.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, just drink at home.

That's where all your bottles are.

Although, sitting one of those big leather seats, they're pretty good.

Yeah.

Pretty nice.

They got a big screen in there.

You know, they're showing, what was it?

Something American.

And the guy asked to turn it off when they sang the anthem.

And it was a, oh, it was a whole hullabaloo.

Yeah, we're having a big anthem protests.

Yeah, which uh which of the two do you think is a better song to dance to?

Oh, to dance to of O Canada and the Star Spangled Banger,

Star Spangled Banger's a total banger.

I don't know.

Oh, man, any chips

as opposed to Oh,

they're both as long as they're fast, yeah.

they're both good.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Well, we'll never know which one's better, but.

Have you guys ever seen the Frey do this Star Sprangle banner?

A video of them?

No.

It's really funny.

Who's the Frey again?

What's they doing?

How to Save a Laugh Where Did I go wrong?

And they do this like Morose.

Is this what they would sing in Youth Group?

Yeah,

probably.

Definitely.

I don't know that either of them are good, but there's one, Monaco has an anthem, and they haven't been a country for very long so they have a lyric about the fancy sports cars that they have in monoclonal

yeah like our gorgeous women and our fancy sports cars like there's all the rules this anthem is the best um but yeah played the club got away with it met brad

got away with it

uh oh and yeah

like the uh the all of us were like oh do we have to pay for a drink or whatever and the lady looked at me like,

you are at the Vancouver Club.

You don't have to pay for alcohol.

You bring your own bottle.

Yeah, you do it.

It depends.

Did you bring your own bottle?

All we serve here is ice and olives.

Anyways, had a blast.

Do you guys want to move over to some overheards?

Sure.

Walking About is the podcast about walking.

It's a walkumentary series where I, Alan McLeod, and a fun, friendly guest guest go for a walkabout.

You'll learn about interesting people and places and have the kind of conversations you can only have on foot.

We've got guests like Lauren Lapkis.

I figured something out about this map.

Like how to read it.

Betsy Sedaro.

I had no key.

That's awesome and nuts.

John Gabris.

This is like great first date for like broke 20 something, you know.

And more.

Check out Walkin' About with Alan McLeod on Maximum Fun.

Hello, Podcast Recommendation Service.

Hello, young man.

I'm looking for a new podcast to listen to.

Something amusing, perhaps.

Oh, what about Beef and Dairy Network?

Something surreal and satirical.

Well, I would suggest Beef and Dairy Network.

Ideally, it would be a spoof industry podcast for the beef and dairy industries.

Yes, Beef and Dairy Network.

Maybe it would have brilliant guests such as Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman, and the actor Ted Danson.

Beef and Dairy Network.

I don't know.

I think I'm going to stick to Joe Rogan.

The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast, and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard.

Overheards, where if, boy, oh boy, if you hear them, boy, oh boy, we want to hear them too.

And we always start with the guest.

Nathan, do you have an overheard?

I do.

I went and saw the movie Baby Girl.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Did you see that alone?

Yes.

I saw it with my girlfriend, but okay, so watching the movie, it's like a matinee.

If you don't know, the general premise is that it's

a boss hooks up with their intern.

It's kind of the premise.

And a certain point of in the movie, it's like the steamy scene.

And this old guy in the very front row, he gets up, he looks back at the whole audience, and he goes, This is the stupidest movie I've ever seen.

And the whole audience laughs.

It all cracked up.

Everyone found it funny.

And then the best part was he grabbed his walker and he was so slow to get out of the theater.

So he's like, I was just watching this guy go so locked up.

He couldn't leave on a high note.

He had no option.

He had no option.

And then, and then it was like all these, it was a lot of old people in the theater.

It was like a matinee.

And then as we were leaving, I heard these people behind us go,

ah, they shouldn't have let the company let them have that relationship.

It's like,

well, yeah, that's the whole point.

That's what the movie's about.

Why didn't they show anything in the HR department?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's what the movie's dealing with.

Is it steamy or is it just a little bit steamy?

It's not.

You expect it to be steamier.

I would say.

Yeah.

Have you seen it?

No, but I think it's the same as the Red Hulk scenario where he's in one scene.

Yeah, I want him to be redder.

Yeah, exactly.

But yeah.

I'm trying to think.

Oh, yeah.

There was one time when Saw first came out, I went and saw Saw in the theater.

Oh, yeah.

And then at like 20 minutes, half an hour in, Somebody in the audience just in a silent part said, I'm scared.

And everybody lost their mind.

We couldn't stop laughing.

One time I started a lot when I went and saw the Batman, like the Robert Patterson one, the most recent one, there's a moment where like the Riddler's doing like a live stream, and it's like he's doing it.

He's like live streaming his evil, whatever he's doing.

And he starts his like video, video thing, and he's like, hey, guys.

And I started laughing.

And then the whole theater started laughing.

I started a laugh chain reaction.

But he's like, hey, guys, I've got the city.

I'm hostage or whatever.

But he starts it in that classic, like, I'm starting a a.

Don't forget to like it, subscribe.

Vibe.

Smash that like button.

I didn't even notice that.

That's yeah.

Hey, guys, this video is sponsored by Casper Mattresses.

Dave, do you have an overheard?

No.

What?

I've been so, so low on overheard.

So this is an overseen and it sucks.

This absolutely sucks.

I think I may already have done the one I have, so don't worry about it.

I parked my car and was going to the pet store, and

as I got out of my car, I saw a store that I had parked next to that had like a bunch of like kitchen or dining room stuff and fancy stuff.

And

it has fine linens,

and the name of the store is Finolino.

Finolino.

And I just imagine the owner being like, well, we sell fine linens.

Finolino.

It's Italian for fine linen.

Yeah, should we start selling linoleum as well?

Yeah, I love,

because it sounds like a name, Filolino.

Sounds like a.

Sounds like Fidodido.

Fido Dido.

God, where'd that guy go?

Where are his pants?

Did he wear pants, Fido Didido?

I think he was.

He wore shorts.

You're too young for Fidodido.

He was a seven-up spokesman.

Okay, yeah, I know.

He was a crude little drawing of a cool guy.

He was the coolest guy.

I'm actually surprised that I haven't seen somebody wearing a Fido Dido shirt.

I want one.

That's, yeah.

Yeah.

I totally wear that.

Because it's like, you know, like I saw somebody wearing a stussy, stusy shirt today.

Oh, they've never went away.

Oh, didn't they?

Yeah.

Also, I saw Juicy Couture.

From Stusy to Juicy.

Oh, we've got it both.

That's what we're naming the store.

I saw someone today wearing a t-shirt with former Canadian Reform Party leader Preston Manning on it.

So he's sort of the Fidodido Dido of the West.

Yeah.

I'm going to pull up Fido Dido here.

I think it was Fido Dido.

Could be Fido Dido.

Let's see if you remember.

Oops, I looked up Fido FIFO.

But yeah, that's what he was like.

Kind of a...

Okay.

It looks kind of familiar.

Kind of like a stick man.

Yeah.

He's kind of looked like the cheese string.

Yeah, he does.

He kind of does look like the cheese string guy.

They were probably really influenced by Fido Dido.

And there was a video game, remember?

Well, every Z7-up spokesperson has had a video game.

Awesome.

There was

some pretty good cool spot video games.

Cool spot.

Yeah, shit.

This is just a real stroll down memory lane.

Anyway, do you have an overheard?

I do, but I don't know if I've done it before, but we'll see.

I may not remember.

So

usually whenever I take Uber's downtown, we always go over the same bridge.

The Camby Street Bridge, which is under construction.

Sucks.

And there's

one of the company's names is Graham.

That's the name of the construction company.

Yeah, we've seen this.

We've had this over here.

We've heard it?

Fuck, I got nothing there.

Well, I'll finish it for anybody who doesn't heard it.

Not once, not twice, not three times.

When I've been driving by it, the drivers turned around and said, that's you.

Oh.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah, which I was like, you've retained my name from all the way there, all the way here.

It's tricky.

Pretty good.

If English isn't your first language, where's that H?

But as soon as somebody tells me their name, it's gone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now we also have overheards sent in to us by people all over the world.

If you want to send one in, send it into sby at maximumfun.org.

And please do, because you know what?

Sometimes I go through little dry spells with the overheards that are sent in.

So if you have one, even if you think it's on the bubble, send it along.

And if you've already sent it in before and you can't remember whether you sent it in before, hey, it doesn't stop Graham from doing the same overhead.

Exactly.

I wish that I had another overheard, but hey, I wish I had a million, man.

This first one comes from Forest in Chicago.

On a flight from Chicago to Seattle, I sat behind an elderly man and a woman probably in her early 20s, the original odd couple, these two.

The man started chatting up a storm as soon as she sat down and continued uninterrupted for hours.

I was busy managing a cranky three-year-old, but every time I checked in on a conversation, he dropped a non-sequitur gem.

And

the first one was, she's a blonde,

blue-eyed surfer, but she had to give it up.

Which sounds like

the blue eyes.

Yeah.

And another one was, so the horse and I had irreconcilable differences.

And that's why I'm divorced from that horse.

Everybody warned me.

Everybody said, don't get married to a horse.

But those are the two.

Yeah.

I find this thing with horses as like I can leave them to water.

But then for like, it's anybody's catching up.

It's your success rate.

This next one comes from Sarah in Bendigo, Australia.

Wow.

Wow, that sounds authentic.

Yeah, and it's,

I got it.

They probably had shrimp on the barbecue down there.

Feels like the type of place that we're going to be.

They probably watch Hugh Jackman's Australia.

Is that Nicola Kidman, too?

Oh,

possibly.

It's not quite as steamy as

what is it, though?

Baby girl.

I've never seen that one.

She should change her name to Nicole Boy, because what is a boy if not a kid man?

All right.

All this bumper sticker talk recently reminded me of a bumper sticker that lives in infamy among my friends.

And it's really good.

Years ago, I saw a car with a bumper sticker that simply said, born horny.

That's great.

Yeah, born horny is a great, it's a new twist.

I mean, in the hog gift, yeah.

Yeah, it almost feels like you're like, I'm just like, I'm giving up.

I'm born horny.

I'm going to stay away the rest of my life.

Born horny, I'll die overnight.

What the fuck am I doing?

I want this to

really like

pick up steam.

I want this to become a very popular bumper sticker so that I can move in with my horn porny.

Yeah.

yes charity

and it's a picture of jason porn

and honking a horn um this last one comes from rebecca c this is from around 1990 when i was in high school in roseburg or oregon my friend and i were hanging out in the music land store at the mall and she overheard an old couple who were flipping through the poster act the woman said look It's Edward Scissorhands.

And the man sounding puzzle said, no, no, it says the cure?

no yeah similar hair similar hair they were kind of the edward scissor hands of music yeah yeah and he's still around he still looks really spooky oh yeah tim uh tim burton looks less spooky as time's going on on he's his hair's not quite as wacky and he's same with russell brand you know what i mean it's these iconic messy haired danny elfman who did all the music i think is spooky now oh he's spooky now yeah he's getting spookier he's muscly now oh he is very muscly yeah right yeah and he did like some crazy solo at some music festival?

I don't know.

I don't know, man.

I can't keep up.

I can't keep up.

Too spooky.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh.

SpyPod 1 like these people have.

Hi, my name is Will from Madison, Wisconsin, and I'm calling you in an overheard.

I just listened to your Rosie O'Donnell bonus episode and it reminded me of an overheard from her show many years ago.

She had someone on and they were telling a story about their life about how their first husband had passed away.

He got killed by a stampede at a petting zoo.

And as soon as she said that, the whole audience broke out laughing.

And Rosie had this look on her face like, no, no, like, she quit it.

It's not a joke.

Because it wasn't a joke.

The woman's husband actually died from a stampede of the pedestrian.

And it was very fringe,

but also sadly funny.

Yeah.

Thanks, honey.

If you die in a funny way, that's got to be hard for your relatives.

Because wasn't there a guy maybe in the 90s that died from an elephant shitting all over his head?

I feel like this is a real thing.

Yeah.

But can you imagine, like,

you know, before Glenn got into being a gazookeeper,

we were all so excited for him.

Yeah.

You can't bring that up with the eulogy.

So died at a petting zoo.

Oh, yeah, my husband died at a stampede at a petting zoo.

Like, that is okay.

Yeah.

Like a lamb's pig.

I tell you, I tell you, my husband, he died.

It seems like a setup.

You got to,

just say he died in a stampede, right?

Don't say petting zoo.

Yeah, why is so small?

Yeah.

And so hilarious.

typically calm, tiny animals.

I tell you, my husband was so small.

All right, next one.

Hey, stop podcasting yourself.

So I was driving the other day, and I was watching this guy walk his Shiba Inu.

And then all of a sudden, he just yanked it up by the harness.

And I was like, what the hell was this guy doing to his dog?

And so I kind of slowed down and was watching him.

And then

he lifted the dog up to a window in the apartment building he was walking by, and there was another Shiba Inu in the window, and he made them say hi to each other and just like wave at each other.

All right.

Off I go.

That's you.

That's you.

Yeah, exactly.

I was just saying, that's akin to the overheard that I didn't have.

That's you.

That's your name.

That's you.

Yeah.

this is another of you.

Do you even know that?

Do you understand what I'm doing at all?

I've had three dogs in my life as an adult, and only one of them like recognizes dogs on TV.

Oh, yeah.

And I was like, oh, that's so cool.

But it turns out it's so annoying.

We can't watch, like, I can't be watching a show at night hoping like no one wakes up.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Can't watch Milo Notis.

I hope there's no dogs in Milo and Otis.

All right.

Here's our final phone call.

Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guest.

This is Zepp in Detroit calling in an overheard.

I was just in the locker room at my gym, and there's a big muscly guy next to me talking on his cell phone.

And I just hear him say, yeah, we went together, but that was like a month ago.

And he sounded so disappointed, and he said, Hasan.

Hafan.

You're not supposed to go with the Dairy Queen every day.

It's a little treat.

You're supposed to go once a month, max.

Off I go.

Left us hanging in suspense there for a second.

Yeah, that's not true, right?

You're not supposed to go once a month.

You're supposed to.

You can go as many times as you want.

It's fine.

But your doctor isn't like, you've got to go at least once a month.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that brings me to the...

What do you like at Dairy Queen?

Do you like Dairy Queen?

Oh, I like Dairy Queen.

I like a Blizzard.

I always liked the strawberry cheese quake.

Oh, Blizzard.

Nice.

It hasn't been in in a while, but I'm going to go score blizzard or just regular cone.

Score blizzard's good.

Score sticks in my teeth too much, though.

What's your favorite?

I don't have a favorite.

All favorites.

But they don't have it anymore, but they have the O'Henry.

The Peanut Butter O'Henry was good for a while.

Oh, yeah.

Some of the Reese's ones are good.

I had a Turtles one the other day.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get

the Mint Oreo.

I like the ones where they put a little bit of the goo in the middle.

They'll add some peanut butter goo or something.

They're constantly innovating.

But they're very expensive.

I don't remember them being so expensive.

They're like...

What are they like?

The cheapest ones, like the

kids-sized ones, are like $4.50.

Really?

Yeah.

And then it only goes up from there.

Yeah.

It would be weird if it didn't.

The more you order, the cheaper it gets.

Nathan, thank you for being our guest.

Of course, thanks for having me.

Um, I wish you nothing but luck at West Edmonton Mall.

And you, I hope you get the queen bed.

I hope I do too, at least for one night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're not gonna, though.

You got who's your friend who's organizing it?

He's getting the bed.

Yeah, I'm sitting the bed for sure.

Yeah, yeah.

That's fine.

Be resigned to it.

Yeah.

You'll be too excited to sleep.

So it doesn't matter.

Yes, exactly.

I'm not going to get a wink of shed eye.

Oh my God, we got another AW to go tomorrow.

Now, you make very hilarious shorts and

little skits.

They're like skits.

They're cargo shorts.

Yeah, yeah.

Lots of pockets.

But where can people, because

your stuff is very funny.

I always enjoy everyone that I see.

So where can people find you to see those such things?

Yeah, you can just Nathan Hare, H-A-R-E on Instagram, Nathan HareNice on TikTok.

Post them all on both those platforms.

Nice.

And your podcast, Corporations Are Awesome.

Yep.

How is it weekly?

Weekly.

What?

Weekly.

Every week.

Every week.

So two corporations.

Go check it out.

I'm going to listen to it.

I'm going to see what I think.

I'm going to see if I can dream up what corporation I like the best.

Yeah.

Mondale, but also

now Yum Foods is in the mix.

Anyway, there's a lot.

It'd be a great one.

Yeah.

Do Yum Foods.

And then I'll listen to that one.

Yum Brand.

Amazing.

Yum Brand.

Yum Brand.

Sorry.

Yum Brand.

Yum Brands.

Well, thank you very much.

Thank you, everybody out there for listening.

If you have a smaller mall in your town, go visit it.

You know, the malls are starting to fall apart.

We need you to go and hit the ball and come on back next week for another episode.

Stop podcasting yourself.

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