Episode 878 - Amy Walsh

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 878 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man man who prefers a corn nut chocolate bar over a potato chip chocolate bar, but he'll eat both if it's an emergency.

Mr.

Dave Shubka.

Yeah, we've had a lot of chocolate over the break.

Yeah, me too.

Almost demolished a whole box of After Eights.

And they were individually wrapped, too, so the evidence is everywhere.

Oh, yeah, that is true.

No, we went through a lot of Herrero Roches.

We had some pretty chocolate hedgehogs.

We had some turtles.

Oh, turtles, yeah.

And then the Swedish group of family sent over some marabu.

Oh, yum, yay.

You know, I like that crunchy corn, popcorn, corn pop.

Yeah.

Huh?

Yeah.

He likes the pop.

He loves the crunch.

Yeah, there's a corn, like a chocolate-covered corn, popcorn

with corn nut energy.

What are corn nuts?

Corn nuts are

corn nuts.

corner.

They're like a big, like imagine a big piece of corn.

And then imagine it's insane.

Imagine it's completely dried out, but it's big.

It somehow gets it gets bigger than corn.

Yeah.

I always thought it was corn formed together in a shape.

Oh, wait.

I have had these.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Cornnut.

I just had like a flat.

Yeah, yeah.

And they come in like the little pocket.

They're great.

Yeah.

We don't have them in Ireland.

They're fast.

They're

sorry.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, don't apologize.

Corn nuts are not like, they're not something the

human mind should be able to conjure.

I kept calling them corny nuts, and the girls were getting so mad at me.

I was like, you know, those corny nuts?

And they're like, it's just corn nuts.

I like doing a little bit wrong of a thing.

I like, whenever we're talking about Star Wars, I always say yogol instead of Yoda.

That's the same.

Yeah, it's the same.

Yogol?

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

And then Yogol does that.

I call him Baby, the baby Yoda.

And everyone's like, his name is...

I can't remember now.

Gogle.

It's Grogle.

It's Grogle.

That voice you're hearing, first-time guest here on the podcast.

She has a show at Little Mountain Gallery called Big Dog Energy on the 23rd.

Second.

Second, 23rd.

It's our guest, Amy Walsh.

Hello, Amy.

Hello.

Thank you so much for having me.

It's the 22nd of January.

Yeah, I was like, will that be really confusing?

The 22nd of January.

And it's all dogs doing comedy?

Yeah, it's all.

Nah.

What breed do you think is the funniest dog?

What breed do I think is the funniest?

Oh, God.

I think maybe like a retriever because they're so dopey.

Yeah, you can bring your dogs to the show.

It's just like regular comedy, but there's dogs in the audience.

I did have a dog performer on the show the first time I did it, and it was terrible.

Like one that could do tricks or something?

They told me that they could do tricks, and they could not.

I think it got staged.

The dog told you?

Yeah, the dog told me he's not one of them.

I promise he's like, this talking isn't one of them.

No one will believe you.

But yeah, no, since, and then sometimes comedians bring their dogs on stage with them as well, which is which is funny.

Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Should we get to know us?

Yeah.

Get to know us.

Amy, you are.

You're a world traveler.

Every time I see your Instagram,

you're in Spain.

You're in Germany.

You're in Ireland.

You get it done.

I do.

I get around.

Yeah.

Are you a nomad everywhere you go, or do you have a place that you call home?

Because I know people that just like sleep on people's couches and travel whenever they want.

How long do you think you could keep up that lifestyle?

Like, do you think you could be a couch surfer into your 80s?

Couch surfing, I don't know that I could do.

Like, lots of traveling, I think I could do, as long as a hostel is in

the equation.

Not the kind from the Eli Roth movies.

I don't want to be chopped up or anything.

I don't want that.

No, I don't want that.

You don't.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, you don't want to go anywhere I've stayed.

No, honestly, like it's mad.

Like, I've been very lucky this year.

I got to go to New York and Barcelona for a month each.

And both of those have been off the back of like two different Irish female comedians being like, hey, do you want to come and stay in my house and mind my cat for a month?

And I'm like, sure.

That's how both of those have happened, which is insane.

Like, yeah.

When the second one happened, I was like, what's going on here?

So, wait, is an Irish female comedian lived in Barcelona and left and said,

this cat.

Was she living in Barcelona?

She lives there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, so I have a friend, uh, Katie Boyle, she lives in Angelo.

She sounds Irish, and

Katie Boyle, sounds French, actually.

Uh, and then, uh, another comedian, Kyla Cobbler, so she lives in Barcelona.

That's not her real surname,

which I thought it was for ages.

I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, that's her name, yeah.

And then she was like, no, it's not.

It's like O'Connell or something.

So also very Irish.

Yeah.

Well done, dear friend.

Well done.

I often see like comments on

the internet being like, I wish Irish people were real.

And at first I was like, what the hell are they talking about?

And then I start telling people stories and I'm like, yeah, no, we're like the, we are like mystical creatures.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Doing stand-up in Ireland or I think in the

Maritimes here is tough because the audience is as funny, if not funnier, than the person on stage.

Because like, I remember getting heckled by a couple of guys in Dublin.

I was like, I'm not digging my way out of this one.

Like, these guys are way quicker and this is their turf.

And

you do stand over there when you go.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I started there.

So

I started in Dublin.

And yeah, and then every time I go back, I do shows.

And it is, it's, it's, honestly, I way prefer doing stand-up there because the people are more relaxed.

And yeah like that they're just like more up for it um and i think that also i'm able to just speak at the speed i usually speak at as well which is nice yeah yeah yeah you said do you find you speak too fast in canada oh yeah oh my god especially when i moved here first and then it was kind of like i had a big gap between like uh when covet happened and doing gigs and stuff because we were on like a serious serious lockdown like our pubs didn't open for like a year and a half or something like that which is massive yeah um and then the venues as well so when i came here then i was like nervous because I was in a new like country and then nervous because I hadn't done stand-up property in ages.

And I was listening back to recordings that I had like what on stage and I couldn't even understand myself.

I was going so fast.

I was like, well, there's no chance that these Canadians can understand me.

So I really had to slow it down.

And then, yeah, even when in conversation, subconsciously, I slow it down.

And yeah, I was on the phone to my dad a few months ago.

And then Nikki and Danielle, who I do the podcast with.

Soft for us.

Soft for us, little plug there.

Yeah.

I went on the phone with my dad and then afterwards they were like you were speaking Irish there yeah and I was like oh no I don't speak Irish to my dad he doesn't understand Irish I was speaking English and they were like you're joke they wouldn't believe me but I was just speaking at the speed and which and then using slang that like I don't use here and he's an Irish guy that can't understand Irish or you're yeah he doesn't understand he does he understands Irish he just doesn't can't speak it really so me and my mom will be like speaking Irish and then sometimes talking about him and then he'll be like I know what you're saying yeah yeah yeah I heard my name in there yeah Oopsies.

Yeah, it's, I find that over there.

Like, the more

in the city you are, the easier it is to understand people.

And then, as soon as you go out into the countryside, you're like, I don't know.

He just said a punchline or told me a thing that I probably need to know to, you know, get on to the next town.

Yeah.

Like, there's like, I was in a band from the age of like 19 until I moved here.

I played double bass.

Double bass.

Yeah.

And there was a fella in the band that I was with for like six years.

He's from Donnegall, which is in like the northern part of Ireland.

It's not in the north of Ireland.

It's just that bit that anyway.

We know, we know Donnegall.

We talk about it all the time.

Like the wool with the little nubs in it.

Yeah, exactly.

How did you?

Wow.

Dave's a fashion player.

All the different sweaters, all the different things.

All the types of sweaters.

But he used to be telling like

jokes or whatever between songs.

And for years, I did not know what the punchline of some of his jokes were.

And one day I just turned to him, I go, What?

What are you saying there?

And he was like, I've told that joke a hundred times.

And I was, and he was like, You laugh every time.

I was like, Because I knew I was supposed to laugh, I just didn't know what you were saying.

It's like Big Bang Theory.

It's like you can tell where the laugh is.

Yeah, you just pause a little bit.

Like, ah, yes.

I feel like when I see a band, most of the time, the lead singer doesn't do jokes.

I feel like that's something that I kind of expect, but never happens.

In between, like, this just seems like it's quiet setting up the next yeah song oh in ireland that's a lot like very common they'd tell they'd be singing the most depressing song about their like i don't know like british soldiers killing everybody and then they'll just like whack in a few jokes in between and then the next like yeah it's very common i remember i went to the the reading festival in okay uh outside of london it's spelt r-e-a-d-i-n-g and they uh pulp was playing and jarvis cocker said um

everyone bring your books for the Reading Festival?

And they laughed and I was like, you guys let them get away with that.

When I was in

Edinburgh, I was doing like a, you kind of do a lot of different.

Are you going to Edinburgh?

Uh-huh.

What?

For the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Am I going?

Have you to be.

Oh, have you, yeah, yeah.

Odd place.

Jesus Christ.

And I did a show.

It was like,

did stand up and then the host interviewed you kind of thing.

And at one point, I, instead of saying Scottish, I actually said English.

instead of saying scottish girls i said english girls and everyone in the crowd was like oh and i didn't even know what i had done i was like what

is he behind me is he doing a fun silly thing

but uh yeah

yeah calling irish or uh scottish people english is yeah it's up there right oh yeah that's we're like

we start twitching and uh yeah and then sometimes the people will double down and they'll be like yeah but it's the same thing and i'm like

i'm gonna punch it it.

Like, I don't, because the first one, I'm like, okay, they don't know.

I'm like, it's okay.

And then when they double down, I'm like, okay, now it's personal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, what's your opening move in a fight?

Do you do a headbutt?

Do you get take a right, left?

What do you go with?

You know what?

I've never actually been in a physical fight.

I'm just all talking.

You will.

You will.

Don't you worry about it.

No, that's a lie.

I have with my sister over a cardigan that was hers that I was wearing when I was 15.

And then she tried to take it off me.

And I said, no.

And then we had a big physical fight and pulling hair.

And then I ended up throwing the cardigan out the window.

Shit, yeah, yeah, I was like, I know how to solve this.

What floor were you on?

Uh, oh, I was on the ground, okay, yeah, yeah, it was just out in the path, but it was like, This is the end of the fight.

Yeah, my dad was like, trying to like, he didn't know what he's an only child, so he doesn't understand siblings fighting.

Um, because we're and you were fighting in Irish, and he couldn't understand,

you're like, the girls have gone wild.

Yeah, I used to do that, uh, very much much destroying my parents' place with my two brothers.

Oh, yeah.

Wrestling by

God.

And

I've told this story on the podcast before, but like, I was bullying them all the way up until they took kung fu, and then they really turned the tables on me.

And they, like, they one day like beat the shit out of me.

They took kung fu?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And as it was happening, I was like, you're reaping what you sow.

This is, uh, this is all you're doing.

They were doing kung fu.

Oh, yeah.

Where are they going every Friday?

and then one day they just whoop your ass yeah oh no i remember i used to take my dog to trout lake and there was always someone learning martial arts there there were like outdoor martial arts classes in the pouring rain wow whoa that's that's a commitment and i but i was like

if you're you're like they were and they were wearing black like all black outfits And they were like practicing kicks and stuff in the rain.

And it was like ninja stuff.

And I was like, well, if I can see you, you're not sure.

Yeah, I don't even have my glasses on.

I can see you guys over there.

But, like,

you need to know how to do it in all different weather.

That's true.

That's actually very true.

That's a good point.

Yeah, you got to learn how to do it at different elevations.

Elevations, absolutely.

You should be able to do it at sea.

You should be able to do it in a tunnel underground.

Do your kids fight physically?

Oh, no.

Okay.

They scream.

Okay, yeah.

They scream.

Like, right in each other's faces.

And that's it.

Oh, man.

What's the age gap?

It's like the amount of years between their

births.

Oh, specifically.

He is a lead singer of a band, and this is some of the banter he does.

They're two years apart.

They're 10 and 8.

10 and 8.

Okay.

Oh, nice.

Okay.

How about you and your sister?

Me and my sister nearly five years.

Irish twins.

Yeah.

I love my years.

I've got a lot to load in whatever years.

Irish twins.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we've been like, throughout the years, like we get on really well and then hate each other and get on and hate each other.

But like the last like few years, we've really like, yeah, we get on a lot.

So no more physical fighting or like verbal fighting.

Screeting, which is nice.

And it should be the way because we're 29 and 34 now.

Yeah.

I mean, but you know, some of these things just never go away.

Yeah, this is true.

Some people don't stop.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Why, why did you come from over there to over to Vancouver?

Honestly, I wanted a break from Ireland, I was just like, Oh, I just need to get out for a while.

And then I heard the visas were kind of handy to get, and uh, English speaking.

I was like, because I only speak English and Irish, um, and a bit of French, but nothing worth talking about.

And then I was like, Australia is really far away, don't want to go to England.

I saw pictures of Vancouver, of like the mountains

and the lakes, yeah.

And I heard that it doesn't snow as much here as Toronto.

Well, that certainly is true.

Let's give it a go.

And I was like, sure, look, I'll go.

I'd never been to Canada before I moved here.

And I was like, sure, I'll go and see if it's nice.

And then, sure, now I'm here three and a bit years later.

So, yeah.

Well, we're glad to have you.

Thank you so much.

I'm glad to be here.

Yeah, it's,

I think the way I was told it is there used to be a visa you could get to go to America from Ireland.

There used to be a pipeline.

Yes.

And then Trump ended that.

And then everybody, we were like, we'll take them.

Move.

Bring your Irish over here.

Yeah, you can get one for the summer in America called J1 visa, which people do like during college and stuff.

And then people just started to realize, like, oh, because the city's just started getting populated with Irish students every like every summer.

People found how hard to get accommodations.

So people started doing the two-year visa to Vancouver, coming for the summer, going back to college, and then we're like, oh, I'll go back again.

But I just did the two-year-old, but now I have permanent residency.

You do?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

So I can be here for another five years.

Have you

gotten as permanent as it gets?

What is it like you have to be in Canada for?

I don't know how it is with somebody who's like, come over.

You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it doesn't help.

It definitely helps.

Yeah.

I was just thinking of the healthcare, when that kicks in, if you're MSP, like, yeah.

MSP kicked in, I think, like three months after I moved here.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nice and quick.

It was great.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, wait, I go to the doctor and I don't have to pay.

Because in Ireland, it's like 50 Euro a pop to go to the GP.

So then you're like waiting for things to be wrong wrong with you.

Like, so you can stack them up.

I remember I went into this GP when I was living in Dublin.

They had a sign that said maximum two ailments.

And I was like, you guys can get fucked.

I was like having a list of things then.

And I was like, and this problem is connected

with my skin to my toe because all skin is connected, right?

Yeah.

And you go in with a cast and a lymph and it just asks, what's going on there?

You're like, free, that's free.

It's a new condition.

My doctor's the same.

It says no more than three.

No more than three.

And I've like, I'm, I have, my wrist has been bothering me.

Don't

nice.

Maybe you're not doing it enough.

Maybe that's it.

Maybe it's atrophy.

It's not that.

And I.

But it's four weeks.

It was a four week wait.

I'm still two weeks away from getting it.

And then three.

Do you have three?

I mean,

I'm hoping to develop a ringworm.

It's the best kind.

Yeah, it's, I don't think my

doctor just does one.

Just one, and that's it.

Do they stop you talking?

Like, how does it work?

No, it's just like, okay, come in.

What's your problem?

We'll, you know, try and figure something out.

We'll weigh you while you're here.

You're obese, they say.

And I mean, technically, that's your problem, so I can't.

Yeah, I can't do anything about it.

I can't do it.

I can't actually talk where you're going.

Don't hit the vending machine that's outside outside the office.

I just saw a vending machine in the back of

a little truck, I suppose.

But it was like, it was full.

The vending machine was full.

They were transporting a full vending machine

full of chips and, well, I'd say crisps, chocolate bars, all that.

What's your favorite crisp?

What's my favorite crisp?

Oh.

I'm so glad you asked.

What fucking brand is it?

It's a purple one and it's truffle flavored.

Oh, there.

Yeah, it's purple.

i don't know i can't remember the brand but it is class yeah i wouldn't have it every time but just special occasions i like that crisps they're such a daily presence in the uk like everywhere you are in ireland and ireland exactly uh and ireland where the scottish live i've been told yeah

i would love your australian ex um the uh well they're pretty daily here like am i am i wrong is it way i think it's more yeah i feel like there's because there are these little bags so you can just grab on the go and just like yeah that's the thing It's not as much here like the the little bags.

Yeah, yeah, yeah big ass bags and they're so expensive here.

Yeah, do you get your parents to send you some crisps in the mail?

I actually do

I just got a box from my mom for Christmas, which she sent in November.

I just got it the other day because of the old strike.

Yeah, and it was filled with these Irish crisps called potatoes.

I was gonna say tatoes.

Yeah.

Which type of tatoes did you have?

Because there's the Protestant tato and there's the Catholic tato.

Well, I did get one after confession.

They let me have one.

There's one crisp meal.

Cheese and onion.

I'll have it on my tongue.

Yeah.

Honestly, when it comes to crisp, I'm always just like original, just plain.

Okay, yeah, it's just like red salt.

Yeah, see, yeah, the cheese and onion tatoes, which is like the classic one in Art, it would be my favorite of all time.

They're not the best crisp, like quality-wise, but I think last meal you're gonna get these crisps.

Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

Have you had Brett's?

Brett's Brett's.

They're French, I think.

Are they Brett's?

Yuck.

Or Berettes.

But they're like, the potato quality is so good.

And then there's a couple good flavors that are.

I like that.

And they are, yeah, you can get them at gourmet warehouse.

Oh, I knew they were going to be somewhere fancy.

Yeah, there's and there's this one, this Jura Swiss cheese-flavored one that is.

Good.

Oh, it is bomb-diggity.

What would the Rizzler say about the Rizzler?

He would give us a Rizzler face.

You would give it five booms.

Bomb Diggity, they should put that on the packet.

It's bomb diggity, Dave Shumka.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did have lemon crisps recently, and I thought it would be weird, but it tasted like, do you know when you put a lemon on

the fish that you would have of fish and chips?

I know, but Dave knows.

Why do you not like that?

No, you're allergic.

You're allergic to very fun things.

Yeah, the most fun.

Yeah.

Apples, dogs, fish, anything else?

Nuts.

Nuts.

Yeah.

Aw, damn.

I know.

How about dairy?

You know what?

I think probably maybe I'm but I can't surrender everything.

I had, I was just craving a big glass of chocolate milk a couple weeks ago, and

I gave in to that craving.

I had the same thing around, yeah, like two weeks ago.

I was kind of like, oh, you know what?

We'll go.

And I think it's because I was watching Men in Black 3.

And in order to protect their brain from time traveling,

you had to drink chocolate milk.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good.

I never made it to part three.

That was my favorite one, actually, as it turns out.

Did I make it to even part two?

Yeah, I think I did.

I want to re-watch them.

I haven't watched them since I was a kid.

They're great.

I mean, the third one's really good.

I can't remember the second,

but there's a scene where they play the New York by Alicia Keys.

Oh, yeah.

And it's kind of brought brought down.

It's supposed to be Tommy Lee Jones singing it, but he doesn't know the rhythm.

And I don't even think he knows the words.

Wait, what?

Did he mouth it?

No, it was him, but I think probably he was like, I'm not doing it again.

Like, I'm not listening to this song.

I'm not doing it again.

No.

What year did that come out then?

If it wasn't Alicia Keys, 20, somewhere around the 2010s, maybe?

Teens?

I don't know.

Because then they rebooted it with like a

Chris Hemsworth.

Jesus, come on.

Yeah.

Leave it where it is.

Make a four.

I'll watch the fourth.

Is it a fourth or is it a new one?

No, it's a new one.

It's a new one.

I think, have they done one or two new ones?

Oh, that I don't know.

You know, I was thinking yesterday.

I heard someone talk about a Superman trailer or something.

Yeah.

And I was just sitting there thinking, are we just going to like remake

everything

over and over and over and over?

And it's just like, when does it stop?

Yeah, no, it doesn't.

So Men in Black.

It does when you die.

That's when it it stops.

Okay, Men in Black 1, 1997.

Men in Black 2, 2002.

Men in Black 3, 2012.

And Men in Black International, 2019.

Men in Black International, Jesus.

Because in 20, was it 2012 was the third one?

Because I worked in a video store at the time.

Oh, fuck.

And so they gave, they had merch come in, and I always wore a Men in Black 3 shirt.

Because people were like, that's awfully specific a thing to be a fan of.

The third one.

Like the third one.

On the Wikipedia, it lists it as a 407-minute running time for the full four.

The full four.

Oh, man.

Have you ever done that, like a binge of every movie in a series all at once?

Yes.

We did the Lord of the Rings.

There was a big snow in Ireland in 20,

oh, God, maybe 17 or something.

And the whole country stopped, like, just shut down because we don't know how to handle snow.

Um, and then we were, yeah, I was working from home and stuff, and I ended up like at my boyfriend at the Times house, um, with all of our friends.

And then we did Lord of the Rings, like for three consecutive days, and we had drinking games throughout it.

And uh, yeah, it was so much fun, it was great.

And I also came up in that invention of uh, which my friend just reminded me of the other day, um, uh, which was

uh, you go outside, you get the top layer of the snow snow off, and then you dig and you get fill your glass with the snow, and then you pour Baileys into it.

And it was delicious.

It's like a kind of a milkshake, meet snow cone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was fantastic.

And then we watched The Lord of the Rings.

What did you think?

What's your review?

Of The Lord of the Rings.

I loved it.

I really liked it.

Had you seen it before?

So

my dad, when he, my mom was gone away somewhere and he was like, I don't know what to do with these children.

So he was like, let's bring them.

I don't even understand, but what the hell are we going to do with them?

My mom used to have to put a big sign on the fridge and say don't forget to feed the kids pj uh because he just didn't like he had no idea what to do with us and then uh yeah so then he was like what do i do with these kids brought us to like the first lord of the rings the two of you uh no three we have there's a brother there's a brother uh in between us irish triplets yeah

classic yes

uh so yeah he brought us to the lord of the rings and i was like seven maybe and i had no interest.

And I just remember the whole movie.

I just like ran around the cinema, which also not great.

And my dad was just like, she can do whatever she wants.

But then from that moment, I was like, I hate the Lord of the Rings for years.

And then I was like, well, I was like, hold on.

I love Star Wars.

I love this fantasy stuff.

Maybe I should give Lord of the Rings a go again.

And I did.

And I was like, oh, this is great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I couldn't tell you like specific things.

I forget movies.

Oh, Graham and I are big.

Yeah.

We like all the all the like niche nerd stuff.

We're so into it.

Yeah, like the band on what it says in the yeah, what it says in there.

It's so what does it say?

It says yo-ho-ho.

Yo-ho.

Away we go.

Yeah.

Any other questions?

It says, Don't do not melt under any circumstances.

Not microwave safe.

We love it.

We love it.

We like the Lord of Edita like the music.

We love the little crawly man.

It's like, yeah,

crawly man walking trees.

That's really interesting.

My valuable ring.

Yogal.

Valuable ring, it is.

Yogul?

Yogal, is that you?

He's back.

Do you not like the Lord of the Rings?

I watched them all.

Yeah, I watched them all.

Okay.

And famously fell asleep in each one.

Ah, okay.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I liked the third.

The third one.

See, the thing is, I couldn't tell you one thing that happened.

I mean, I remember like...

I like the third because it ended.

It's done.

I actually, I don't drink anymore, so I would be interested to watch it back without drink.

Without the Bailey's.

Without the Bailey's snow, yeah.

Do you...

Have you...

Bailey's is Irish.

Yes.

Here it's advertised in very weird ways.

Yeah.

Like they would advertise it like...

There's the one where a drop on someone's tongue.

Yeah.

And it's also like it pours weird.

So they've really slow down the pour.

And there's like some where they advertise it like on top of ice cream yeah right yeah yeah that's mad and ice which i wouldn't i just never associated ice cream with ice yeah

was that irregular whenever you were uh uh christmas time christmas time yeah gotta get you back drinking yeah get you back on it honestly like we were out we make our own bailey's so

i can't actually my wrist deserve that

wrist is too weak my frie uh another amazing uh local comedian cass firm and she

recently, we were out and she had a Bailey's.

And then

I was like, can I smell your Baileys?

So she just had it on the table in between us.

I just kept smelling.

I was like, lovely.

And then she looked up how to make...

non-alcoholic Bailey's.

So we made it and it didn't actually taste like Baileys, but I loved the intention.

What is that?

Like, is that a million ingredients or is it super simple?

Yeah, there was a lot of cream and there was some, I actually can't remember.

I think there was coffee involved.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, random thing.

It just tasted like chocolate milk, which is delicious.

Sometimes you get a craving for it.

Sometimes you have a big old glass of it.

Then you have a bellyache.

But yeah, no,

it wasn't exactly it.

But yeah, I'm hoping the Baileys bring out a non-alcoholic version of it.

That seems like it's everybody's

weighted out.

Yeah.

Now, speaking of Irish delicacies,

you've brought us two, what do you call these?

Rice Krispie buns.

They're not rice krispie treats or squares that we call them.

No.

And they are, which are, I think, two ingredients.

They are rice krispies and

marshmallows and then maybe a little vanilla.

The rice krispie treats.

Yeah.

Treats.

Jesus.

I used to actually not be able to say my ores.

So sometimes

it slips out that

my tongue forgets.

Pretty much the cutest

disability to have is saying you're

not able to say your ors.

But when I remember, I knew I couldn't say them because my brother and sister would be like, what's that?

And it'd be a a car.

And then I'd be like, oh, it's a car.

And they were like, it's a cow?

What?

No.

And then it'd be like, it's a car.

And then I went to speech therapy and I worked so hard to be able to say my ors because I was like, I'm not going to bully you.

How did they even express like, okay, you got to...

Just, I would be like, just say your R is regular.

Just say it.

Try that.

Just say instead of saying cow, say cars.

Just go through the alphabet.

Yeah.

Just say it.

So when you say or,

naturally, our.

And you're saying or?

So yeah, that's okay.

Yeah.

The thing you drive a boat with.

Yeah.

So what do you say?

R.

That feels so foreign in my mouth.

So say R.

I used to work in reception of this animation company, and I'd have to send people to H,

well, I'd say H or, and they'd be like, what?

And I'd be like, HR.

That doesn't.

You know, did I stutter?

Sorry.

Oh, yeah.

Do they teach you?

So when you say your ores, like in a word,

your tongue actually curls up without you realizing.

And then some people, like me, the tongue stays flat.

So then you say, yeah, and then it was like whatever, ca.

So then I had to learn how to curl my tongue up when I was real.

I love that.

Like the

subliminal subject.

Subconscious.

Subconscious, like speaking of like, you don't pay attention to what your tongue and teeth are are doing.

Ever.

Until you bite your tongue.

What the hell, man?

And then, like, if someone shows you, like, a diagram of how you make whatever sound.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whoa, it's true.

I just need to correct this.

And

so these are.

Sorry, yes.

Oh, God.

I am Tangent City.

I told you to.

That's what a podcast is, Tangent City.

ADHD on fire today.

Can we try one of the

tell us what it is?

Okay, so it's sorry.

Graham's allergic to it.

Does it have any fish in it?

Damage with tuna?

That's actually chocolate, tuna, and grice krispies.

So these ones, I actually threw some marshmallows into them.

So yeah, they're usually just rice krispies and melted chocolate, and that's it.

And then you put them in little bun cases and then they harden.

And then you can put little toppings.

So I threw some marshmallows in those ones.

And by bun case, you mean...

What do you call that?

What do you call that?

Yeah, a cupcake liner or

a cupcake liner?

It's good.

Nice.

So yeah, I made them.

So we had women's Irish Christmas, which is on the 6th of January.

It's like this little...

Say Women's Irish Christmas?

Yeah, yeah.

So it's this little.

Yeah.

Sorry, my brain is having so many thoughts.

Not mine.

Not very silent.

On the 6th of January, it's like this thing where we, after Christmas, where all the women get together.

gather because they've spent the whole Christmas thing and cooking and cleaning.

And then the sixth is supposed to be the time where they actually get to celebrate together.

So I had a little gathering at my house of

some women, and I made these, and I was like, God, they're the best and so easy.

And like, yeah.

And then I was thinking, I was like, so many, I wonder, is it in any other country, these rice krispie buns?

And I was like, because Irish people,

like, not to be like, poor little Irish people, but we didn't have many treats like back in the day.

So they were like, okay, what can we do?

Now we have all of them.

You didn't have what you personally didn't have treats?

Or the country?

I didn't country didn't like have like a huge selection of like treats and stuff, you know?

So I suppose some imaginative, probably ladies, were like, well, what do we have?

Chocolate and rice krispies?

Let's put them together.

And they're not buns by any.

Don't let the bun case fool you.

Yes,

they're in a bun case, but they're not technically buns.

But yeah, we call them buns, and no one has ever questioned that.

But hey, life is all about.

You're in the hot scene and Dave's asking the typical question.

Why is this called a bun?

Yeah, what exactly?

Well, they're delicious and nutritious, I assume.

Very, very nutritious.

That's the fish, yeah.

I'm gonna put a little fish oil in there, yeah, a little fish.

Um, you also uh you host a show where people bring their dogs, big dog energy, yes, which is on the 20th.

22nd of January and also the 31st of January.

But if you're in Ireland, it's the 23rd.

Yeah, that's true, yeah, yeah, because they're ahead, their time zone's ahead.

Yeah, uh, yes, so it's a it's a regular comedy show, but you can bring your dogs to it.

So like, I've done it.

I think I bombed.

The dogs like me.

The dogs were like howling after every joke.

And I was like, is that bad?

Are they in pain?

Are they signaling that I'm one of them?

Well, you did that sort of Bob Parker thing at the end where he's told to

have them spade and neutered.

He did.

It was crazy.

They didn't like it.

They cried.

Yeah.

Don't tell us how to cut our dogs up, I guess.

Is it, Uh, because it was packed the time I did it.

Is it always full?

Because generally, yeah, yeah.

People want to be with their dogs, it's crazy because, like, right, I get the way I came up with the idea was I came over here and then I was looking after dogs because I just love dogs, and I was like, I don't have my own here.

And then I was doing minding dogs, and so many couples were like, Oh, we can't go out without getting a sitter for the dog because it has anxiety and all of this stuff, which also in Ireland we're like, What?

You get sitters for your dogs?

Like, I mean, a lot of dogs in Ireland live outside.

So,

I didn't know that people did that.

Oh, yeah.

For an evening.

Oh, yeah.

Like, I know we've had dog sitters for when we go away.

Yeah.

For evenings.

People don't like so many of them were like, we can't even leave it for a few hours.

Like, we have to get a sitter.

And then I was like, well, why don't I put the things that I love, comedy and dogs together?

And then, yeah.

And then I started it.

And it's been honestly like if sold out, if not nearly sold out every time.

Do the dogs always get along?

Are there

been touch wood there's been no fights since yet okay like because i have it in the description i'm like socialized dogs only right because a lot of dogs uh are not socialized and then they'll start fighting and stuff but there have been like

but nothing crazy have you been to the baseball games where they let the dogs come no i haven't been on that day is that are there fights there no no i just the baseball players they fight like crazy

yeah the dogs are howling and cheering them on

hit them some of the dogs you can tell it's a bit much Yeah, at the baseball game.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

There's a lot of cheering and

a lot of hot dogs.

Yeah, they're saying all the time.

Is that my brother?

It's mostly like when the dogs come in first, that's when they're like, ah, there's so many dogs.

And then they get a bit excited.

But then throughout the show, they're generally like asleep or just like in their owner's arms or whatever.

And like, and like, I literally had

a show the other day in Little Man Gallery and the fire alarm went off.

And

not one dog even flinched.

I was like, this is mad.

They're very well trained dogs.

They do

very well trained to burn

the opposite of like a Dalmatian with the fire department.

They're like, we're not getting up for this.

Are we nah?

So like, uh, that's a thing that happens fairly regularly at Little Mountain Gallery.

The fire alarm.

Yeah, because the building above it is it can trigger it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um hasn't happened.

No, it hasn't happened to me yet.

Oh, yeah.

See, I, I, I know that it's in there like a pre-show thing.

Yeah.

Like it might happen.

And then I was like, I just forgot to mention it.

And then it happened.

And I was like, it's a false alarm.

So you guys could just like stay if you want.

And then we just continued the show.

Amber Harper Young is a trooper and she just kept going through it.

Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me and the six people that come to my show, we'd all walk out together and just hang out on the street for a while.

Oh, you go outside.

Oh, yeah.

That's what people...

That's what we're told to do.

Did you not have fire drills in school?

We did, but

I don't know, in Ireland, we always assume it's not a fire and everyone just sits there.

And if it is something emergent, like an actual emergency, we expect that someone will just come and tell us.

Because we're just like, ah, it's fine.

There are certain things you like learn as a kid.

And then when you're an adult, you're like, oh, come on.

Do you think fire drills is one of us?

Yeah, I think it's what it is.

It's like, well, do I have to?

I'm going to have to put on a coat.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a good lesson on how to get out of a fire.

And then, you know, you're like, oh, and then we all will walk in like this very dignified way out of the place.

But if there's a fire, I feel like if you have common sense, you'd be like, okay, let's everyone just get out of the building.

Yeah.

But not like that.

Just cram yourself in so you're like the three stooges and you can't get through the door.

Yeah.

And just scream the whole time.

Exactly.

Trample your friends.

Trample your friends.

Take your shoes off.

Throw them inside.

Yeah.

Is that a three stooges Just thing?

No, just like chaos.

Okay.

Because you've never practiced it.

Poke your friend in the eye.

That's what they're doing.

Take them.

I mean, and that's the thing about, I think maybe it happened more in like elementary school than high school.

Kids were always pulling that alarm, that fire alarm.

Wow, really?

You don't want to thrill, you know?

Yeah.

I think we maybe had one false, like one that wasn't a fire drill.

I think it was, to me, I think it was the grade sixes.

It's always always them.

Yeah, exactly.

What age is grade six?

That's 12.

Oh, it's what in Ireland you would call

your fourth forms.

I thought you were going to say something about a triplet or equivalent.

A-levels, A-levels, is that.

That's UK.

Oh, you don't have to.

Yeah, ours is the leave-in cert is

the final exam.

We do the junior cert when you're like 15.

Actually, I think they might have changed it.

I don't know.

But leave-ins or yeah, you have to do these.

Grade sixes are about 11.

11, 12.

Yeah.

And that would be high school or middle or yeah.

That would be elementary school cut for me at six, and then there was seven, eight, nine, and then another school for 10, 11.

So you have three different schools, elementary, middle, and high school.

Not in Vancouver, though.

We only have 20 years.

This is elementary and high school.

Oh, is it like a state or not a state, provincial thing?

I don't know if it's provincial.

And it's certainly...

Because they have it in Toronto because they have middle school.

Yeah.

They have Degrassi Junior High, Degrassi High.

Right.

And that's the thing that Drake was on, right?

Yeah.

And he was in a wheelchair.

Yeah.

I was actually just driving over here.

Listening to Justin Bieber.

And I love Justin Bieber.

And I was thinking, I was like, he's way better than Drake.

Drake is rotten.

Yeah.

I mean, were you just doing Canadian?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was thinking about Canadian musicians.

Well, how do you know that Drake's character got shot and that's why he's in a wheelchair?

Oh, he got shot.

And that's because he's...

Okay, okay.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yes, he got shot.

That's why he's in.

I never watched that version of Degrassi.

I've watched them all.

I'm from.

Oh, because there's an American version as well, right?

No, no, no.

They're all Canadian.

But when I was a kid, there was like

an 80s version.

Oh, like 90200.

There's different things.

Yeah.

They did that because...

What's his name?

Spelling?

Aaron Spelling?

Aaron Spelling approached Kit Hood, who created Degrassi and said, I want to do an American version.

And she said, absolutely not.

Like, I don't want anything to do with that.

And so Nazi created 9020 as a like sexier.

Wow.

Oh, I love facts like that.

I don't remember like details in films or TV, but I love facts about how they came to be or like production stuff.

I love it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, when Lord of the Rings

Gollum approached Peter Jackson and he said, hey, we should.

Gollum tried to form a union.

Gollum originally wanted to be in the frighteners and Peter Jackson was like, I got something else in mind for you.

Gollum wanted to slime his own hair down.

We were talking about Justin Bieber and Drake, the Canadian artists.

They're the only ones.

Well, there's a new song by The Weekend.

Oh, also, he's great.

The Weekend has new music out, and they're really pushing it on the radio, and they're getting him to be like, hey, this is the weekend.

Listen to my new track on the radio.

And you know what?

If he says it, I'm on board.

I just feel like he is...

I don't know anyone who's like a big weekend fan.

You're looking at one right now, my friend.

I always thought that about you.

I love all his albums.

I think he's got the best voice of the generation.

Nelson did that funny plastic surgery gig over a while.

What was that?

So he, like, for a while, he would appear in public with black and blue, like eyes swollen and shut.

And like, it was all makeup.

But it was,

he looked like that.

Then he was walking around with wrapped head, like Invisible Man style.

And then,

and then he got makeup done that looked like he got plastic surgery to fix all the so he had like his eyes were all tight and the huge

you could just get plastic surgery.

Yeah, well, that's all we wanted.

And then he gets to go back to the weekend.

Was it all just a bitch?

Yeah.

I love that.

But it's not anything he talks about.

Well, he didn't talk about even better.

Well, he's like one of the top five most streamed artists ever on Spotify.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

And he like, I feel like he's sort of like the movie Avatar, where it's like, broke all these these records, but who's this, like, who loves him?

Once again.

Can't stress it enough.

I would actually really like to see you at a weekend concert.

If I had the wherewithal to do that.

This weekend I'm doing, and I've never done this before.

I bought a speech.

And when you say this weekend, Darrell, you spell it.

This weekend, he's my favorite artist.

I'm going to a concert where I just bought one ticket for myself to like

exciting.

Psalm 41 last last tour ever so

oh my god that's brilliant where are they playing they're playing at Rogers

and it's like if you go on Craigslist people just need to get rid of that one because some people can do what they like my wife hates them

Graham why were no Sally

no because it's so cheap like buying tickets at a pair are it'd be like 500 bucks and all the nose please are all right sold out how much was the singular ticket uh 50 bucks.

What?

Yeah.

When is this?

This is on Saturday.

Saturday?

You can just get ones for 50.

Yeah, go on Craigslist.

Oh, my God.

Maybe the numbers go down if you just get them the day of.

That's fun.

Did Some 41 make it over to Ireland?

They did, yeah.

I mean, as I'm saying this, I'm like, I think I know two of their songs now.

But I feel like it would be a fun concert.

I think it would be fun.

I think they'd see a lot of old guys with their like punk rock metal shirts that they haven't worn in a lot.

Yeah.

Oh, it'd be very good for people watching, actually.

Yeah.

Lots of dance with kids, I think.

Come see my favorite band.

Yeah,

I went to a Two-Door Cinema Club.

Do you know them?

I know the name.

Yeah, you probably know some of their tunes.

Yeah, they're Irish.

And I exclusively listen to Irish

and Justin Bieber.

But I went to their concert in New York and by myself as well.

I was trying to get two tickets and then it ended up just being one.

And then my friend who I was trying to get to go, he was just like, oh, he's from the north of Ireland, where they're from.

And he was like,

I'd go out to the back garden if they were playing, but I'm not really fact.

And he was like, but for you, I'll do it.

That's Aaron McCann, very funny comedian as well.

Terrible impression.

There's no way for us to do it.

You don't know.

So it was an amazing impression.

Anyway, it ended up I could only get one ticket.

And he was like, okay, good, because I didn't actually want to go.

And it was on like, what's it called?

Pier,

I don't know, some venue, Coo venue in New York.

And the bat, like the backdrop of the stage was the Brooklyn Bridge.

So, and they're like uh watching these and I was on my own and I hadn't really done that and also like uh not drinking as well which was a big thing to not going to a gig not drinking and it was amazing because I got to stand where I wanted I got to do what I wanted leave whenever you want leave whenever you want you know dance and like be like I don't care what anyone thinks you can dance if you want to but if you want to find a ticket I might do that yeah because it's uh somehow people get stuck with that one ticket they just true yeah

someone like yeah you have to if someone breaks up with you or someone dies somebody dies, but you're still gonna go to that Sun 41 concert is what your friend would have wanted,

yeah.

Oh, I might actually do that.

Yeah, 50 bucks is nuts.

When did you get your ticket?

Two days ago.

Oh, Shane away.

Yeah.

How much were they originally selling for?

Oh, I have no idea.

Because like I say on the map, every cheap seat was sold.

The only thing that you could get was standing on the floor.

And those were about $250 each.

At that point, you're in too deep.

All connected.

Nice.

I know.

Recently I was like, yeah, the lead singer, his face is like real weird and swollen.

And then

you're thinking of the week again.

She liked that.

I love a little callback.

I love it.

When I was listening to the podcast as well, I was like, God, they're so quick of like remembering things.

I haven't, like, my brain is like not so quick.

So, uh, yeah, no, I'm not.

It's because we're on drugs.

Don't worry about it.

It's not, yeah.

What kind of drugs?

Speed.

The best kind.

Yeah.

How do you think we're so quick?

Because speed is the quickness.

I one time actually had to return speed to

the video store?

So bad.

Return some speed.

It was sent by my friends to get what we would call yokes.

And this is all hyperbole.

Hyperbole, yeah.

That's the word I was looking for.

And yeah, I was supposed to get yolks, which are

pills.

And then all they had was speed.

So I brought it back to my friends.

We tried it.

We're like, this is crap.

And they were like, go return that speed.

So I have to go back and return it.

No, I like that.

And they gave me my money back.

Just a little

knock the money off.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Huh?

He was a nice guy.

Yeah.

I mean, yolks.

Is it different than speed?

Yolks are like pills of ecstasy.

Pills of Exy.

Ecstasy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we had heard that this house had like double strength ones and we were like, let's go.

And yeah, they're just

double yolks, like the substance.

Maybe I'll start taking drugs.

Drugs sound like a lot of fun.

I haven't been taking drugs for the last few years.

I did a year with no

drying, no alcohol, but I just did yolks every day.

First thing in the morning.

Every day.

I remember one of my friends, she like discovered them when we were in college.

And then she was like, why do we drink?

We should just do yolks.

And we're like, ah, well, no, because the serotonin.

No, because we need to drink.

We admit to drink.

But we were like, you can't be taking yolks all the time.

It'll like drain you of your serotonin.

And she's like, no.

So she did a whole week.

She was just every single day.

And then by the end of it, she was like, a shell of a person.

She was like, I could never get it.

I would not think that far ahead of like drain you of your serotonin.

I would just be like, I can't because I saw what happened on Save by the Bell.

Yeah.

And also, I'm going to be making up with God knows who how many people, you know, soothe her in my mouth.

Ugh, gross.

Soother in your mouth.

But yeah,

I have a good friend of mine in high school.

He took acid almost every day.

Wow.

In high school?

Yeah.

How's he doing?

He's fine.

He's doing all right.

His name is Justin Trudeau, and he's doing just fine.

Thank you.

Did you guys see the,

I don't know,

I don't know, is it a tweet or what fecking platform it was on, but Justin Trudeau being like, not in a snowball to hell is Canada going to be part of America or whatever he said.

Yeah.

Elon Musk replying and saying, girl, you're not even the governor anymore.

I honestly thought it was satirical.

I thought it was like an onion thing, but it wasn't.

It was the real life.

It's a cool place we live.

It's a cool time to be alive.

It's a cool time to be alive.

If listeners don't know, Trump's floating the idea of just absorbing Canada and Greenland and Panama?

Yeah.

Wow.

I didn't know what Greenland and Panama is.

Wow.

He wants Greenland.

He wants it bad.

That's oh, man.

I hadn't heard about this thing because I just think whatever Trump says is whatever, which is probably not the way to think because he he does do things.

Anyway, so I called my cousin who's in California, and we answered the phone.

And then her son, he's like, I think 18 now, and then he's like a very high-functioning, autistic boy.

And he didn't even say hello.

He was just like, he just goes, Hey, did you know you're not going to need a passport soon?

He's taking his goodness.

I was like, wait, what?

And he was like, Bernie Sanders is in on it too.

I was like, what is going on here?

Yeah, we need to stay off the internet.

Yeah.

But that's where all the good stuff is happening.

You walk around in nature like this stinks.

This is boring.

I woke up this morning and I instantly was consuming media that was like about the LA fires and also about Palestine.

And I was just like, God, everything is awful.

And then I was feeling really anxious and I didn't know why I was feeling so anxious.

And then I went for a walk and then I was like voice noting someone.

I was like, oh, yeah, because as soon as I opened my eyes, I consumed like horrific news.

Yeah, you got to like do Sudoku or Connections or

ease yourself.

Well, you can't do Connections because the New York Times is complicit.

Oh, yes,

Washington Post as well.

I can't do their crossword anymore.

Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post.

I didn't know that until the other day.

He owns this podcast.

A lot of people don't know that.

So if you can lay off a little bit, that'd be great.

Shut up.

But anyway,

if you're a prime member, you get bonus episodes.

And free shipping, so you get all that.

Yeah.

And more, really.

And of course, you can watch The Boys.

The Boys.

Yeah.

Watch the Jack Reacher Hour.

Is that Jack Reacher Hour?

Welcome back.

It's my guest today.

Isn't it wild how fast we can get things from Amazon or whatever?

Like, obviously, it's very, it's very handy, but I'm also like, this is too fast.

Like, how can it be outside?

I did.

Tomorrow.

I did.

Slave-like situations.

Yeah.

I mean,

I know how, but I'm also like, this is not good.

But I'm going to soon do it.

Being in bottles and stuff.

No, I did order something from Amazon a few weeks ago, and it arrived.

It said the arrival window was between 8 p.m.

and 4 a.m.

No.

Showed up in the middle of the night.

Really?

I didn't like that.

Did they ring the bell?

Or they just took a photo and sent it.

They just left it?

Yeah, they left it.

Nice.

That's insane.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

You know, look, we love Jeff Bezos.

We're glad he doesn't get plugs like Elon Musk.

He's the man.

He owns himself.

You know, he's not doing a comb over like Trump.

He's bald, and I think that counts for a lot.

Have you seen those cyber trucks?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, please.

Dave has one in his garage.

It's what he uses for home rentals.

Home rentals?

Just to like measure woods.

Yeah, yeah, measures in the weird triangle of it all.

They're awful.

Jeez.

They're all over the place.

I do get it if you own like five cars that this is your funny

funny cat.

Your gag car.

Yeah, I drive it on Fridays.

Casual car day.

Don't wear jeans.

Casual car day.

Oh, Jack is going to bring his cyber truck.

Oh, so he's wearing a funny shirt.

Oh, I'm like, go touch some feckin' grass, lads.

Jesus Christ, he's cyber truck.

Yeah, it's uh, I only saw my first one a couple weeks ago.

Well, they only all arrive.

They all arrived around at the same time.

And they're everywhere.

I keep seeing them.

I saw one yesterday, and then these two men talking about one.

And I was like, oh, that is disgusting.

I hope it's not a regular steering wheel.

I hope that it's like a plane steering wheel.

Yeah, it's kind of like almost a circle, but you got to grab it on each side.

You know?

Yeah.

Little gears.

Yeah, the ones you have for the...

Yeah.

It better be cool inside, but it's probably not.

I don't know.

Like, Teslas were cool inside when they first arrived.

Well, I mean, of course it's cool inside because you're sitting next to a Cybertruck owner.

This is true.

The vibes are immaculate, no matter what.

Freaking Teslas, I swear to God, I only ever get in them when they're Ubers or Lyft or whatever.

Every time I'm like, how do I open this?

How do I get out of this?

I'm like, which button is it?

Yeah.

And it's, you settle into a panic because they're like, come on, man, get it together.

Your star rating's going down the longer you take.

But yeah, we love Cybertruck.

I hope one day that I'll Uber and Cybertruck shows up.

I was just thinking that.

I was like, how how long is it going to take for that should be one of the categories, like Uber group on your own, Cybertruck?

Cybertruck.

Yeah, go for a ride in Cybertruck.

I don't know.

I don't get how you can afford an a Tesla as an Uber driver.

You have to pay off the Tesla by being an Uber driver.

But it's weird.

At this point, it's almost weird to go into somebody's car that's not a Tesla.

You're like, what the hell is this?

Yuck.

Yeah.

Yuck, exactly.

Oh, you can open the door so easily.

They're idiots, this car.

I was in one, I don't know, was it a Tesla?

I actually took a video of it, but the doors went up like Back to the Future.

I was like, this is crazy.

That is crazy.

Yeah.

There is one kind of Tesla that does that.

Maybe actually.

Really?

That's amazing.

But then, yeah, being like, oh, and I'm just going to buy this and then drive people around.

And it is mad.

I suppose you're sharing the experience of these.

weird yeah and that's what it's all about it is and that's what they're thinking when you go to a small town i've noticed that still has uber um

people don't uh dress it up at all there's just stuff in the back

go sit on that side that was the original idea of uber was like hey if you're headed home from work why don't you just offer someone a ride and make 10 bucks have you ever done the uber share yes with strangers no yeah so weird it's i mean the savings is usually not so much that i off for it because it takes a long time to get anywhere yeah because you're just driving around random places yeah picking up people Picking up people, dropping off people.

My friend told me a story the other day.

They did Uber Share by mistake and then they ended up in it.

And then they couldn't find it, it was in Vancouver.

They were waiting for this guy called Sean.

So my friend, she was like, I'll just, she's Irish as well.

She was like, I'll just hop out and I'll shout for him.

So she was just going around the street, just screaming, Sean.

And he was like, hi, what the hell?

Like, you're Uber.

Is this girl screaming at you?

We're like, get in the car.

He then realized he had booked Uber Share as well.

So it was a surprise for everybody.

Dopey.

Yeah.

Dave, what's going on with you, my friend?

Oh, man.

Tell me all about it.

Well,

it's our first episode that we've recorded since 2014.

Yeah, 2014.

Here we are.

2014.

2024.

And, well,

what is going on with you?

I just took my notes here.

Okay, these are the wrong notes.

These are all wrong.

Just your grocery list?

Yeah, we had a nice Christmas.

Oh, that's good.

You had yourself a Merry Little Christmas?

I did.

Did you get what you wanted?

I never do.

No?

Oh, because it's peace on earth.

Nice.

But

here's some highlights of the Christmas.

Coming at you.

Highlights of Christmas.

I did.

It's Poppy's birthday.

My daughter turned eight on Christmas Eve.

Oh, wow.

Happy birthday, Popeye.

Happy birthday.

And there's this episode of Bluey.

Bluey is this cartoon dog.

Oh, yeah.

Australian.

Australian, yeah.

Like you.

Check your privilege.

And there's a famous, apparently, I didn't see the most recent season of Bluey.

Oh, you gotta.

It's the best one.

I know.

He goes crazy.

Who does?

Bluey does.

Bluey's a girl.

Blue's pronouns are she, her.

Yeah, damn it.

And it is a there's so on this episode, one of the dogs, I think Bingo.

Maybe Blue.

I didn't see the other guy.

Love that guy.

Both girls.

Yeah, has a birthday, and they have a duck.

They have a duck cake?

Oh.

They choose this cake, is duck cake out of a

mole.

Catalog.

Oh, okay.

But it's shaped like a duck, not just a duck on it.

No, it's shaped like a duck.

So it's got a body and a head on top, like a yellow rubber duck.

Okay.

Okay.

And it, for some reason, has popcorn hair.

Wow.

Popcorn hair.

Popcorn hair and crisps as the beak.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

And

imagine eating that.

Is it icing then?

It's iced.

Yeah.

Crisps and popcorn.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

They'd be doing down in Australia.

It's sweet and salty.

It's all good.

And they

had a.

Anyway,

I think what happens in the episode is they can't get the cake, and so the dad has to make it, and he does a bad job.

Sure.

Oh, classic dad.

And then Abby was like, okay, we got to make this cake.

How are we going to do it?

And I'm like, it's going to be easy.

Well, if ever, if anything, I watch those baking shows and it's a breeze.

Yeah, yeah.

And so

what it did, what we did was

I watched some videos on how to make it.

And you make a cake-shaped cake for the body.

You carve it into like a teardrop shape.

Okay.

Okay.

And then that makes the duck shape.

And you add a little bit of what you cut off to the tail.

It makes the tail go up a bit.

Oh, that's fine.

And then you use another piece of cake and you make that into a ball.

You like take two halves of cake.

So this is not like a this is down on the tray, not a freestanding, like

it's flat to the ground.

It's not.

No, it's freestanding.

You make the head.

You put the head on top of the body.

The teardrop is

The teardrop is flat, and then you add a little bit to the tail to make it go up.

Then you carve

a cake head.

Wow.

And you put that on top.

And then you attach it with skewers.

Okay.

And then you ice the whole thing.

And then the head proves to be too heavy

and falls off.

And the skewers pull apart the rest of the cake.

And so what you do then is

you say, okay, well, let's make the head out of rice krispie squares because that's

lighter

it's lighter and uh so you do that and uh nice and it turns out fine did you cover it in icing then yes the yellow icing yellow icing yes what was his eyes his eyes well actually the cake is also a girl oh sorry um

what are her eyes nice uh in the original there are these licorice uh these black licorice circles okay with like an m inside oh uh but we didn't want that so we just did MMs.

Nice.

That's better than

did it go over.

Oh,

fine.

Yeah.

Did she love it?

Well, yeah, she liked it.

I think she liked the idea.

Like, I don't think she really even wanted the cake.

It's Christmas Eve.

There's so much food around.

Yeah, there's a lot going on.

It's lost on the shuffle.

Yeah.

But she ate some.

Some other cousins ate some.

And then.

Did it taste good?

Yeah.

It was also.

Did you have a picture?

Oh, sure.

I have a picture.

Oh, yeah.

I'd love to see a photo.

Hmm.

Let me see.

When was this?

Cake?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

You bet it is.

I remember when I was like three.

Do you know the teletobies?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I was obsessed with Poe, the red one, and they got me a Poe cake.

And there's like a

there's like a succession of these photos of like, I'm delighted.

I'm like, ooh, Bo.

Let's see.

Oh, wow.

Oh, that's great.

Very cool.

That's so cool.

I was picturing it with a really long neck.

Yeah, me too.

I was like, how did he get the head up there?

That makes so much more sense.

Yeah, a rubber duck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No long neck rubber duck.

I know, but I forgot that it was a rubber duck and went back to thinking it was just regular duck.

So what happened?

I got the Poe, yeah.

And then I'm like delighted.

I'm like, woohoo, Poe.

And then my mom got the knife out to cut up Poe and I lost it.

I was like, you can't kill Poe.

There is a photo of my mom holding a big knife right above Poe because I think she was like, ah,

no.

We're going to kill your favorite.

And my face, you can just see it.

It's like, huh?

And then I'm like, ah!

and I wouldn't let them cut the cake.

And there was like loads of kids at this party being like, we can't have birthday cake.

And I'm like, absolutely not.

So then they just cut them up while I was asleep.

Part of now it's time for us to party.

Let's just put a little bit of sleeping medicine in her.

Where's Poe?

He's gone.

He's gone.

He's asleep.

And the other, I mean, so much to talk about Christmas-wise, but one of the tasty treats, another tasty treat I had was

I saw an Instagram video for,

have you tried the viral Dr.

Pepper and Eggnog?

No.

I was like, this looks like it could be bad.

Yeah.

And it turns out it's so good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's the combo taste like?

It tastes like a creamy, eggy Dr.

Pepper.

Delicious.

It tastes very like vanilla-y.

Smooth, smooth.

Goes down smooth.

Comes up smooth.

Nice.

Yeah, it mixes together real good.

It didn't separate.

No.

Huh.

Okay.

It was, it's, um,

and other people, like, I posted a, uh,

a video of the, like,

um, original that I saw, and I was like, I'm going to make this.

And then I posted a picture after I made it.

It was good.

Nice.

And then people wrote back and were like.

Yeah,

I think someone even said they sell it in a can somewhere.

Well, yeah, Dr.

Pepper,

in the last two years, went ahead of Pepsi in terms terms of who's second to Coke because they did all these special flavors and you could like submit ideas for different flavors.

Oh, that's fun.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah.

So like, it became the soda of this new generation.

Canned, though,

that sounds weird.

That does sound weird.

Anything that has any dairy.

Yeah, we don't

really

believe this person.

Yeah, what is your source on this reliable?

Who's

The commenter on Tim.

Random follower.

But

yeah,

do you like Dr.

Pepper?

Yes, I love it.

Used to be what I would get whenever I was sick.

Would she flatten it or just take the bubbles out?

No, it was just, I mean, it was out of a two-liter jug.

So eventually the...

Yeah, what would be a fast way to flatten something?

So we, in Ireland, we do flat seven up for when you're sick.

Like genuinely, it's just like as soon as you're sick, you're like, we need to get some seven up.

up.

And the way there's so many.

I'm going to give here, here's how I think I would do it.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tell me how you think it would be.

Boil it and then let it cool.

That's a smart way.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Grant.

How would I do it?

Yeah.

I do it,

you know, Mentos in Pepsi style.

Just put something in and just react, and then it blows all the bubbles out.

Whatever you're left with.

And then you're like a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of

left.

That's very common.

The way, yeah, there's so many different ways to flatten it.

And like, yeah, people boil it.

The way we did at our house was you put it between two glasses, and then you just

pour it, and then it gets rid of the bubbles.

Other people put like metal in and then the bubbles attract, the metal attracts the bubbles.

I don't know the science behind that.

Don't ask me.

And then.

What's the science behind that?

Oh, no, wait, for example.

Other people just shake up the bottle.

leave the bottle open.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

But if you're like, you know, if you're

sick and you eat it right away.

Yeah.

You should always keep some in the fridge.

Just always keep a a jar of

yeah flat seven up ireland uh flat seven up and toast is like the cure to everything and tea yeah yeah are you a daily tea drinker do you drink tea at all i i do drink tea but honestly i'm not as big of a tea drinker as like other people like there's a two different like main uh tea brands in ireland as well always people are like is lions or berries better i honestly don't give a shite but i just kind of lean into it just to rile people up i'm like i prefer lions and they're like no

just yeah but i i like flavored teas better than the normal teacher.

Normal teas, okay.

Yeah, fair enough, fair enough.

So the cake was a smash success.

The other thing was.

Bobby loves it forever.

Boy, just, you know, food, food stuff.

Food is the, you know, we get together at these special times.

Yeah.

We break bread.

And that's what it is.

We drink the weird smoothies.

We drink.

I did have a weird, yeah, Dr.

Pepper eggnog smoothie.

I got it from

South Express.

I did the eggnog acai bowl.

Yeah, you're like, huh, should I get pomegranate?

Wait a minute, what's this at the bottom of the menu?

Let me try that.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all.

It's all

good night, absolutely.

What's new with you?

I,

for New Year's Eve, just for a fun thing to do,

my wife and I went down to Seattle for the night.

Fine.

Yeah.

And it's like, have you been?

Only for briefly for a baseball game, and I was very drunk, so I don't remember most of it.

But then, Dave, you did it the same week.

You just went and saw a hockey game.

Yeah, I went to a hockey game

a couple days after.

And your team won.

Who's your team?

Vancouver Canucks.

Nice.

I played the Seattle Kraken.

Kraken?

Yep.

And yeah, so I went there on New Year's Eve.

Seattle, New Year's Day,

like absolutely a ghost town.

Really?

Nothing.

Nothing open.

Nothing.

I love that.

Where were you?

Right downtown.

Oh, yeah.

Downtown.

Oh, yeah.

Downtown Vancouver is pretty quiet on.

It is quiet, yeah.

But this was eerie.

You couldn't get anyone to throw fish at you.

They had some fish outside that you could throw at your friends.

Fish at you.

That's Seattle's big thing.

They go and fish at you.

You go to Pike Place Market and they're throwing fish around.

You throw fish between different counters.

I'm going in two weeks.

Yeah, you got it.

I got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where do I go?

The market?

Yeah.

Pike Place.

It's big.

Is that the famous one?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're going to, if they don't throw a fish, I'm going to be mad.

Oh,

what are you going to Seattle for?

Just hanging out?

Going down to meet.

So the girl, KJ Boyle, whose apartment I was in New York for a month, I've never actually met her in person.

I did her podcast and we've been online friends.

So she has a show.

So I'm going down to meet her in person.

Nice.

Yeah.

And watch her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's fantastic.

I'm excited.

Yeah.

Give me some Seattle tips.

Well, don't go on New Year's Day.

It's very quiet.

A lot of things are closed.

I realized I hadn't been in like seven years.

Really?

And then when I went, we went to the just a hockey game and we got there at five o'clock or six o'clock and we left after the game.

So I didn't see it in daylight.

Right.

Right.

So a lot apparently a lot's changed, but I not that I saw.

Well, this, uh, the big change that I like, so I use an app whenever I'm looking for a place to eat or drink that's gluten-free because I don't.

Oh, you're also gluten-free.

I know, believe me.

We are so boring.

Yeah,

I make up for it in personality.

Damn it.

I was hoping she wouldn't say anything.

But Seattle now has a completely dedicated gluten-free bar.

Like everything, the menu is gluten-free.

All the beers are gluten-free.

The menu, like the paper that is printed out there.

Yeah, no, it's gluten-free.

You can snack on it if you wanted.

But yeah, everything, all the food stuff was gluten-free.

That's amazing.

Yeah, it was, it was huge.

Like, I've never, I'd never thought in a million years that would be a thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's like, I bought a hat.

I was so excited.

I bought one of the hats from there.

Is it gluten-free?

Yep.

Nice.

Good.

There's no brim.

I ate the brim.

The brim's gone.

It's delicious.

The,

yeah.

So we went over the border.

I went with my brother.

And like, I go to, I cross the border a lot because we have a mailbox in America.

And, uh, but I always go by myself and it's like that.

They don't, they ask, what are you going for?

Picking up packages.

All right, see ya.

Yeah.

They had so many questions for me and my brother.

And they said, what do you do?

How come you have the day off?

I was like, it's January 2nd.

It's like a lot of people have the day off.

They asked what I did for a living.

And I was like,

I'm an audio editor.

That usually is the like smoothest thing.

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah.

And they were like, what, like the film industry?

And I said, no, mostly podcasts.

And I hadn't been asked this in so long.

But the border guard asked me, do you listen to Joe Rogan?

Of course.

Of course.

No, never heard of him, actually.

If you're in a discussion with anybody about any comedy stuff, podcast, club, or otherwise, the person you're talking to is always going to say the person you hate the most.

I don't hate Joe Rogan.

Yes, you do.

You go on about him all the time.

I try not to bring him up at all.

You say Austin sucks.

You're baiting him into a fight.

But I did say, No, he's not really my thing, which I think is the, well, it's both the right answer and also like, I love him.

they're gonna search your car

yeah that's right that's true yeah i'm like search them

um yeah no the border was and then that's it entirely because i'm a white guy that the border was breezy i could joke with the border guard and all that kind of stuff

what kind of white guy jokes you make to the border

that's not your chips uh that kind of thing

i thought the same thing one time when we like brought in it was like a group of us irish people and then there was like five of us and we were like joking and laughing with the border guard or whatever and I was like looking around I was like other people looked stressed and I was like god yeah we are very privileged to be able to not be spooked about this yeah you know and uh what did I say it was the the guard said like

um

are you working like we were like we're going for New Year's Eve he said are you doing any work while you're there and I said I hope not and he was like yeah

he had like a fun little second there to they go.

Very good.

I'm going to use it.

Yeah.

Like, hey, Graham Clark already used this one.

But you now, you went there and you thought about things to talk about on your podcast that earns you money.

So were you doing work there?

Oh,

well, truth be told, I worked for a day in the Amazon warehouse while I was there.

That's what I did.

Just filling bottles with pea.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's all that was there.

That's what he's doing.

Make sure you fill the darrels with pee before you go.

You didn't hit your quota today.

More pea bottles.

But yeah, no, I had a blast.

And, you know, everybody have a happy new year.

Were you there one night or two?

One night.

Okay.

What just

on the night of went dancing.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, went to a club.

What kind of dancing?

Just crazy dancing, jazz.

Modern.

Did they shoot fireworks off the space needle?

Oh, no, no, Because I was indoors.

Dancing.

Yeah.

I was a dancing machine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's your favorite move?

That's it.

Oh, just

whatever d draws the least attention to me.

Are you a two-stepper?

No.

He's more of a hot stepper.

Yeah, I'm a hot stepper, yeah.

Nice.

No, I just feel like,

and this could be a broad generalization, but women just seem better at dancing than guys.

It seems like they all got together and decided on dance moves that I'm like, damn it, my name.

Do you ever dance alone?

Like at home?

Do you dance like no one's watching?

No, very much not.

I dance like everyone's watching.

Do you ever dance at home?

Do you ever dance about architecture?

Yeah, I do.

I dance at home.

When I was a teenager, that was like every time everybody was out of the house dance.

Yeah,

it feels so good to dance.

It does, especially when you're at home and you just do whatever you want.

Yeah.

What's your go-to?

It's your dance move.

You do that one where you hold your leg and then jump over with the other leg

i actually used to love that one where you hold your ankle and then you put your knee into your head and ambo and i was just thinking earlier i used to do this thing a lot uh crawl under people's legs it is so funny because

i hate to tell you that's not a dance move

was this what you were doing at lord of the rings running around the theater

It's honestly, I started it a few years ago.

I was like when I got to like a certain level of drunk, I would start doing it.

And then I was just thinking about it today.

I was like, I should bring it back, even though I don't drink anymore.

Because you go under someone's legs, right?

And then they just get such a surprise.

And they're either, I always like, it's just such a funny reaction.

Like, are they dancing?

Sometimes just standing there.

And are you doing it?

Face down or face up?

Face down, face down.

So I just crawl.

So they just like suddenly feel something under their legs.

Like, what?

Sometimes people like separate their legs like a drink.

You're doing a daily dog show.

So get up and I'll crawl under your legs.

But sometimes, if you do it to

men and then their girlfriend is there, they get weird.

And I'm like, only I'm allowed to crawl.

They're weird.

Freaks?

What?

I've so many times these girls are just being like, what are you doing to my boyfriend?

I'm like, I'm not flirting with you.

Not flirting.

I'm going through his legs, you weirdo.

But it's very fun.

I've made like random friends on the dance floor by just crawling through people's legs.

What are you doing down here?

Other people doing

here.

Too many people, too many legs.

We're tumbling out of the club.

We're getting out.

Sometimes I don't even talk to them after.

I just do it, and then I just go somewhere else.

And that's my favorite because then they're just like

sober.

Yeah.

This is what people do when they're sober.

You understand?

I think she did a couple of yokes.

Nice.

Well, should we move on to some overheard?

Yeah, okay, then.

Hello?

Hannah?

Yeah.

It's Clint McElroy.

Hi, Hannah Regg.

Oh, my God.

Hello.

I don't know if you know who I am.

I do.

I love the Adventure Zone.

It is probably my favorite DD podcast.

You've been a faithful member of Maximum Fund since March of 2019, and this is them

rewarding you as our Maximum Fun member of the month.

It's awesome.

I love it.

So what made you decide to become a member of Max Fun?

You know, it was so long ago.

I'm not sure what the exact moment where I decided was.

I think I've kept it up intentionally because a lot of those different podcasts have been there for me when I felt really alone and sad and just needed something to laugh at.

Aw, well, that's Hannah.

Thank you so much.

Thanks for being a member.

Thanks for being a TAS fan.

Thanks for all the nice things you had to say about me specifically.

And I guess my kids.

i i get that way if you're a max fund member you can become the next max fund member of the month support us at maximumfund.org slash join

jackie kitchen hi and welcome to the maximumfun.org podcast the jackie and lori show where we talk about stand-up comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us we have a lot of experience and a lot of stories and a lot of time on our hands so uh check us out it's one hour a week and we drop it every Wednesday on maximumfun.org.

Overheard.

Overheard's a segment where we talk about the things, the very valuable things that we hear in our life, and we want you to hear them too.

And we always like to start with a guest.

Amy, do you have an overheard?

I do.

So this one isn't just like I randomly overheard it.

I actually picked up the phone and listened in on a conversation.

So will I do that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's the most overheard thing in the world.

Okay, cool.

So I was 11 at the time, and my sister's boyfriend's uncle had these puppies.

He didn't want them.

And I really want, he tried to drown, he drowned some of the puppies.

And there was two, yeah, that's what they do.

And farmers, and

they just

like, I don't want these dogs, I'll drown them.

So then there was two puppies left behind, and I really wanted.

to save these puppies.

Yeah.

Do you have a question?

My question is, how did he decide?

Well, you know what?

I'm not a monster.

Yeah, I'll keep it.

Do you know how?

Because he went to take the puppy bodies out of the back garden.

I actually, I'm sorry, I asked.

And these two puppies had swam to the top.

He was like, oh, Jesus, they must be fighting dogs, so I'll take them out.

So then they just lived in this back garden, and he really treated them terribly.

And I was like 11.

And I was like, I want, I need to save one of these puppies.

So I was like determined.

I was crying every night.

I wrote up a contract with my parents

to say that I would like pay the bills.

I had no money.

Just a liar.

Well, your dad didn't know.

She's eating somehow.

I'm not feeding her.

She must have her own money somewhere.

So I, yeah, I had like communion and confirmation money, which is like, yeah,

yeah.

So I was very gone with my money.

So I had that saved.

So I was like, I'll use that with the dog.

And I wrote this contract up.

So then

my uncle's girlfriend at the time,

now it's his wife um i she had dogs and she i was like will you like try and convince mom and dad to like let me have this dog and she was like yeah absolutely i absolutely think you should have the dog and she was like the cool aunt whatever so then my mom and my mom was on the phone like the handheld upstairs and then i was down in her bedroom and had the uh the the one with the cord yeah yeah and uh i i used to do this all the time and i'd be like listening in uh on conversations and uh just because i was bored there was nothing else to do so i listened to and I went, I was there with my brother and my sister.

I think I listened to the conversation with her and my mom, um, because I knew it was about the dog, and she was telling my mom not to let me have the dog.

Oh, wow, yeah, so I was there, like

not making any sound, but like listening.

I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna kill her.

Um, but then they actually did give me the dog.

Wow, good,

yeah.

So, I got the dog and I had him for like kind of Disney evil.

Oh, man, bad guy.

Yeah, wow.

I was raging.

I was like, I'll never trust you ever again.

Yeah.

And I haven't.

Good.

I mean, we got on there, and I'm like, but she did do that.

You do need to lie to the 11-year-old.

But she could have, you know what, look back at it and I was like, she could have explained it to me.

Oh, you were unreasonable.

I was.

I mean, I was a kid that was writing up contracts.

Yeah, I was, you're going to want to shut me up.

Yeah.

I'm going to, yeah, my mom and dad will notarize this for me.

Sure.

We'll take it down to the local magistrate.

We found the contract recently and they had never signed it.

And I was just, because they were like, you stopped picking up his poo.

That was part of it.

Picking up his poo in the garden.

And they're like, you stopped picking up his poo.

And then I was like, but you never signed the contract.

That's right.

Yeah, that's on you.

Let's see him court.

Dave, do you have an overheard?

It's not like that.

No, I know.

That's

arc.

Yeah, whole story, backstory, and everything.

I mean, our guests have their whole lives to draw from.

I got to come up with one of these every week.

This is true.

You guys have millions of podcasts.

It's a lot of overheard.

Mine is, boy, it's come, is weak.

Okay.

It's an overseen,

but it was some nice little graffiti I saw.

Okay.

Someone graffitied,

there was

a for-lease sign on a restaurant.

And then someone added, like,

added

a little bit to the last names of the two real estate agents on the sign.

And like, say, if it was Graham Clark, or like someone could have done like Graham Crackers.

Yes.

Yeah.

Nice.

They could have written Crackers after Graham.

So

with this one real estate agent's name, Mike Yam.

And the person wrote fries.

That's class.

I like that.

The other real estate agent was Jennifer Lynn.

Oh, I took a photo of this.

And

Lynn Oleam.

Yeah.

I was like, where is this going?

It ruled.

Nice.

That's so good.

Oh, man.

I like a clever graffiti.

I will always, if there's a silly graffiti, I want to see it.

And with, oh, sorry.

And then with realtors as well.

Like,

there's one real near my house, and his name is.

His surname is Guy Moore.

So in Ireland, like Guy means vagina.

And how do you spell it?

G-E-E.

Okay.

Yeah.

So we would also call each other like ghee bags and stuff.

Like, so that's funny.

I was like, oh, I thought that that was a compliment when they named me ghee bag.

Gee bag, okay.

Yeah.

And then more in like in Gweilge, in the Irish language, means big.

So I was like, that guy's name is big vagina.

So I like put it up on like TikTok.

I did a little video.

And then like people were commenting.

And they were like, oh, we know that guy.

And I was like, and then someone said that they showed it to him and he did not find it funny.

I find that

any time

like a real estate agent has become

had any kind of like fame locally, they love it.

Yeah.

Oh, absolutely.

They're shameless.

I still remember the woman that was like the number one real estate agent in the community, and her name was Nikki Michelaujo.

Oh, and Justin California.

please

and then her and her daughter combined forces so then it was her and her daughter's name whichever it was Nick Malaujo so yeah that feels nice to say a micro yeah and she file reports nice lady yeah nice lady just you know why did you take a photo of uh jennifer lynn uh same place i imagine yeah oh because you saw the linonium yeah oh yeah i think it's just it was on the uh at that place corner 23 was it called Yeah, and there's also a building that just says least, and it's just the one single sheet of paper that's just got it printed on it least.

I'm like, huh, they don't usually do that with other.

They usually have a big banner.

Oh, yeah, this was what it said.

Yeah, this was the sign.

I love funny little graffitis.

Oh, this little just like printout that says least on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

That's gas.

Oh, my God.

It's gas, guys.

We have a, in Ireland, we, we'd like, we'd say, ah, stop like all the time just like if we hear something we like i don't know like we not wouldn't believe and then someone near my like on the road to my house on a stop sign they graffitied and just said ah above it and i was like that's so funny nice i was we were driving to the hockey game through downtown seattle i like that you uh showed us how to drive there with your hat it's not downtown seattle it's seattle wherever the center is yeah wherever the where they do bumbershoot uh right right by the emp the bumbershoot grounds and uh we were driving and I'm looking where to go, and it's dark, and I'm being very careful.

And Crazy by Britney Spears is on the radio.

And my brother's singing along, and he goes, the part where she goes, stop!

And I'm like, what?

What?

Also, we had parking underneath the arena, and I'd never had this before.

We had to stop, and bomb-sniffing dogs came around our camp.

Oh, shit.

Wow.

Huh.

Bomb-sniffing.

And did they get your bomb?

They got it?

Yeah.

Oh, I got my full diaper.

Which there's no way to throw away the full diaper in there.

Yeah.

Mine is courtesy of a little girl

separating ways with another little girl.

And her line to her was, okay, see you in the next life.

Wow.

Like,

what's probably like five or six.

Oh, that's incredible.

I love when kids say weird shit like that.

See you in the next life.

Like, do they say that every day, whatever?

See in the next life.

Gladiators.

Oh, that's cool.

But adorable.

You know what?

We love kids, don't we, folks?

That's cool.

I like that.

Now, we also have overheard sent in by people all over the map.

If you want to send one in, you'd send it into spy at maximumfun.org.

And

this is Dave in Oakland is the number one.

Sorry, I forgot to send an email with them all combined.

So I'm just doing them email by email.

Email.

This is Dave from Oakland waiting for my daughter at a nail salon.

And the two customers are chatting about how crazy people are on the freeways around here.

When

one of the nail techs interrupts and says, people get confused about what the far left lane is for.

They think it's the fast lane, but nah, the lane is for doing crime.

If you ain't doing crime with me over here, you need to get out of the way.

There's all those little clap signs.

Oh, that was a cold read.

Yeah.

But the left lane is for doing crimes.

You know,

actually, I think the right lane is probably better for doing crimes because you can get burglar to jump in your car.

Oh, sure.

And also, like, you're not, you're, the cops aren't watching for speeding in those lanes.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm a right lane guy.

I'm a right lane guy.

I'll let people go around.

Yeah, I'll go around a truck.

You gotta.

It's too scary to be behind a truck.

But it's also kind of of scary to go beside a truck, I find.

I'm in a small car.

Oh, yeah.

Well, if you're going around it and then you're like, uh-oh, I'm not quite fast enough.

This truck is actually hauling ass.

It's crazy because, like, Calgary now has a road that there's no speed limit on.

That the Premier's like, our,

you know, citizens are hard-working people and they shouldn't have to worry about getting speeding tickets.

And so they just, instead of doing away with the

with the speeding tickets, they also went away with the maximum kilometers an hour.

That is nuts.

And if you're not in a truck, it's insane.

Like, everything's taller than you.

When you say truck, in this sense, you don't mean an 18-wheeler.

No, in this sense, just like, yeah, a pickup.

Yeah, Ford F-150, kind of like.

F-350, you know.

Yeah, Bronco something.

Yeah, the Raptor, the Ford Raptor.

Yeah, GMC.

We didn't get over the amount of trucks that were in Alberta.

We don't have trucks that size in Ireland.

Like, we, I was like, what is going on here?

That's the status symbol on that side of the way.

Yeah.

I saw here at Cybertrucks.

Yeah.

That's the way it should be.

This next one comes from.

My status is I'm crazy.

I have five cars, and this is my casual.

Yeah, this is my casual fun one.

Oh, and how many casual cars do you think Jay Leno has?

He rotates through them, but he.

Does he have a formal car at all?

Yeah, for when he goes to drop.

Oh, he doesn't have kids.

I was going to say to drop them off at a formal, but

I don't know.

What's the most formal car?

I guess Rolls-Royce, Bentley, that kind of thing.

Yeah.

Anything where you have a driver?

Yeah, that's nothing that you would bring to the drag race.

It would be great if one showed up at the drag race.

I don't know the names of them, but you know, those old-timey ones where it's like only kind of two people can fit in it and has the square window.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, I bet he has one of those too.

I bet.

Oh, of course he does.

Yeah.

But like.

One of every car.

Do you ever

drive?

You show up somewhere and they have valet parking.

You're like, oh, no.

This person, this valet is going to think I'm...

This car's not good enough to valet, but it's the option.

The hotel that I went to in Seattle, I like read the reviews of it and they're like, great hotel.

Do not let the valet park your car

because it's so expensive.

Oh.

And because it was New Year's Eve.

Nobody's on the streets.

You just park right on the street.

But

yeah, it's weird that uh unanimously in the reviews it's all so interesting yeah i don't think i've ever done that get someone else to park my car i know i've never owned a car i don't like well that would have been very hard then yeah i drive other people's cars it's happened a few times in my many decades of driving

i know people who used to be valets oh sure yeah yeah you could make some pretty good good money yeah i mean i guess it depends on what hotel or restaurant you're working at.

If I'm, it is my car and I'm having to have my car valet against my will then you're probably not getting a great tip

just thinking about parking at an arby's but i thought arby's is one of the things you see quite soon as you cross the border i didn't realize that arby's was that popular

yeah but next time you go get one of their donkey shakes or something oh they have them once a donkey they have arby's in canada oh yeah but i mean it was just like the first restaurant i saw was arby's i've never been

uh you know what you probably skip it well i guess go once once

you go to Tawasa.

There's one in Tawasa.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Next time you're going out to the the island.

I was just there.

Damn it.

Shit.

And they won't have you back anytime.

And I said, absolutely, no way.

Not back on this island.

This note comes from Casey from Arkansas.

Nine-year-old son got money for Christmas and he wanted to go spend it on a Nerf gun.

I mentioned his grandpa.

who he hadn't seen yet, may have gotten him the same Nerf gun for a gift and asked if we buy this right now, would my son be upset about having two of the same item?

And his reply was, Well, what's life without risks?

It's true.

It's true.

The fruit is, what is it?

The fruit is sweeter.

The fruit is sweeter.

Yeah.

Down the vine or down the branch.

Uh-huh.

That's so funny.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

And just that the kid was just going to like, just take it in stride, you know?

I'll have two turf guns?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not devastating to have two of the same because you can do them at the same time.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Her guns, man.

You can, you know, run out of ammo and your victim thinks they're safe and then pull it out from

that holster on your back.

Your gun quiver.

You know, kids just tape it to their back, Bruce Willis style.

Bruce Willis.

Yeah,

I never had a nerf gun.

Me neither.

What is the ammo?

Little balls or like little sticky suction cup things?

Or they're just foam sort of darts.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, actually, yeah, I think I have shot one.

They're sore, though, when you actually do get hit by them.

No.

No?

No, this is like, this is like absolutely.

I'm thinking of real guns.

Yeah,

yeah, damn it.

Or paintball gun.

Oh, they're so sore.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I remember when I used to go paintball and like, and I'd be like hiding.

I'm like, my heart would be racing.

I was like, wow, this must be awful to be in real war.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've done it.

I think that's the point of paintball is to make you realize.

Yeah.

Hey, can we all get along?

14.

If the world leaders got together for a big paintball or even laser tag event, I think there'd be a whole lot less war.

I think that a lot of the politicians would hide their

little target on their laser tag uniform.

It would be automatic people being sticky and

going outside the rules, you know?

I can't imagine a lot of them spend any time outside.

So that would also be funny.

Put them in the forest.

Come on.

I did a laser tag indoor and paintball outdoor.

Right.

And at the indoor one, they give you a whole list of instructions.

And the paintball one, they're like, that one.

Timber.

Just go nuts.

Don't take your helmet off.

Did they just say that?

Wow.

That's a big one.

They just said, you know, like, you signed the waiver, so away you go.

This last one comes from Emma J from Vancouver.

Well, what is life without risk?

Nothing.

Nothing.

I'm writing from BC Ferry, headed to Schwartz Bay, from Schwartz Bay to Tawasa.

Oh, my God.

You should check out Arby's.

Arby.

If it's not too late, if you're still there.

I overheard the following.

This is two men in businessy suits just passed me, and I overheard them following.

Honestly, as red-pilled as I am, I think if I was actually in the Matrix, I would just take the blue pill.

Yeah.

Because the blue pill just lets lets you keep living in your

fantasy life, right?

Yeah.

I need to watch that movie because, again, because I've fallen asleep in it four times.

Really?

Yeah.

I liked it, but I don't think I'd ever watch it again.

Okay.

Wow.

Because people are always like, the magic.

So I'm like, yeah.

You know, you're hanging out with the wrong crap.

I do pretend that I've seen it just so people don't have that reason.

You've never made it through the whole thing?

Nope.

Yeah.

I know when people are like, red pill, blue pill, and I'm like, I know, right?

I have no idea.

I've seen the whole thing and I don't remember which is what pill does what.

But I know one is goo and one is life.

I like the goo.

I like seeing him come out of the goo.

Yeah.

Because

you're either living in a dream state or you're in the reality where you're a goo.

You're in a goo pod.

Oh.

And I prefer I would just like, no, it's stay blue.

Whatever is the one that just keeps status quo.

Yeah.

I feel like I, boy, and it's sort of the two sides of my personality.

I'm either a goo pod or a poo god.

Good work.

Well,

in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-77-97631.

That's one

SpyPod 1.

Like these people have.

Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests.

This is Justin from New Haven, Connecticut, calling with my first overheard of 2025.

We got sort of a hip convenience store, I guess.

So there was a young female clerk working and her young female friend was there just kind of keeping her company and they were, you know, kind of too cool for school kind of kids.

And

I don't know, I was making my purchase and on my way out, I didn't maybe like clock it until I heard her chime in, but Madonna's like a prayer was playing.

And so it was the part where, you know, when you call my name, it's like a little

prayer.

I'm down.

And then I just just hear her say i want to care to little mouse so

um

good good

no freaking way no freaking way to you um for when he was saying about it being like a cool convenience

i was just like picturing somebody going up to buy something they're like oh you're eating a mars bar

just getting bullied

like what's a cool convenience store i don't know cool convenient a black light.

You're just

loud music.

I guess there are, like,

stores here that are, like, have like imported

creatures.

Oh, bright.

Yeah.

I suppose you could call them a cool convenience store.

Like, you can get, you know, every flavor of prime.

Totatoes?

There are ones, not in the cool convenience stores, never.

It's in like British Irish shops.

You can get potatoes, and they're like $5 million.

Yeah.

What are the British Irish shops around here?

There's one in Kits called Celtic Treasure.

And it's like, it is, it's just insane looking at the prices of stuff.

Are they knowing what they are?

Are the employees?

I think he is

English.

I actually can't remember.

When they're English, I just delete them from my brain.

Yeah.

So, and I haven't been, there's another one as well.

I can't remember it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think of the coolest convenience store I ever went in.

Max.

Yeah, probably Max.

Max was cool.

There was a chain called Max for a while.

Okay.

Yeah.

And And it's been kind of absorbed by the Circle K Corporation.

The old Circle K's.

Yeah.

I think it's maybe still in Quebec as Couchtard.

Yeah, Couchtard.

And they,

oh, no, I think the coolest one was my buddy and I used to go to this 1711 and at the exact right time that the guy was going to throw away the hot dogs and put on fresh hot dogs.

So

we would go and get free

hot dogs.

He did throw them away, but you

just jumped in front of them.

He was like,

if your mouth goes in front of the garbage can, you might luck out.

And then I would just eat it like a seal.

Like, it just goes right down.

And you would have your friend shoot

ketchup and mustard in your mouth at the same time.

Like the Matrix.

Yeah.

In bullet time.

Whenever someone says 7-Eleven, I think hot dogs.

So I was just when you said, I was like, 7-Eleven, hot dogs.

And then you said,

those hot dogs are

interesting things.

But when you're a teenager, you know, you can just eat it unlimited garbage.

Did you?

Yeah.

We talked about them in Ireland like hot dogs.

In 7-Eleven, 7-Eleven is open 24 hours, but it got its name because it

opened at 7 a.m.

and closed at 11 p.m.

And anytime I was, when I was a kid, people like grown-ups would say, oh, you know, that

didn't used to be open 24 hours.

And I would be like, you old ass bitch.

Yeah.

And now you're like, here's a fun fact.

Yeah, but I knew I was never alive when it was only open those hours.

Are all of them 24 hours?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

In North America, anyway.

I don't think they exist anywhere else.

They're in Japan.

They're in Japan.

They're in Thailand.

Oh.

That's not the rest of the

slurpee flavors that we dream of.

Oh, slurpee.

Slurpees.

I did, like, I had never filled my own.

We have, like, slushies at home, right?

But in Ireland, but we never did it.

And it's like that you're allowed to freestyle.

Yeah, you can mix them up yourself.

And oh, man.

I remember when I was a kid at Max, they had the frosters.

Well, first of all, they had slush cats.

Slush cats?

Slush cats?

What's the slush cat?

Well, there were slush puppies, and then a slush cat was basically a slurpee with the logo of Max was.

He was a cat with a Tam.

A Tam O'Shanter on.

And so his name was Mac.

It was Mac Apostrophe S.

But you had to go, the guy behind the counter would have to fill it for you.

And it was really hard to like.

If you're shy like me,

you gotta, it's asking a lot to get them to give you two flavors.

yeah, oh man, and once a year, I think there's a day at 7-Eleven where you can bring your own container, so there's like a limit, like you can't.

One year, somebody brought a waiting pool and they were like, Okay, well, technically, we said anything, and so we will let you fill up this waiting pool.

But uh, yeah, yes, I've heard about this.

You can fill whatever container, and is that every year?

Yeah, it's July 7th or July 11th.

Well, no, that's free slurpee day.

Oh, that's free slurpee day, yeah, Jeff.

You are incorrect.

Come on, well, July 11th is 7-Eleven.

Yeah.

Checks out.

I'm just...

See, our dates are the other way around in Ireland, so I did not, would never have clocked that.

Right.

Yeah.

Your 7-Eleven would be November

7th.

I had a fake

ID when I was in America.

I was in like a...

college exchange in North Carolina when I was 20 and I went into this whiskey place and I handed over over the license.

It was such a bad fake ID, but Americans are very lovely people.

So it worked everywhere.

But yeah, I was in this whiskey bar and she was staring at it for ages.

And I was like, oh, I'm going to get arrested.

She knows this is fake.

And then something just like clicked in my head.

And I was like, oh, by the way, the date and the month are switched because I'm from Ireland.

And she just goes, Good.

Cause I was about to ask you what the 18th month was.

And then she gave me the whiskey.

Love it.

Love it.

I love her.

So according to 7Eleven.ca, bring your own cup day.

They don't have it this year, but last year's was

two days, March 22nd and 23rd.

Wow.

Here are the rules.

It's $2.49.

Dream it up, fill it up.

Got a picture of somebody thinking of filling up a trophy.

Yeah.

And the rules are: size matters.

You're telling me.

It must fit within 26 centimeters diameter.

Okay.

So that's 11 inches or so.

The tiny.

The cup

rule, slurpey safe, the cup must be food safe and clean.

That's actually none of your business.

Yeah.

It can be three quarters full of eggnog.

Yeah, if you want to bring your own.

Wow.

And then leak-proof.

The cup has to be watertight.

Yeah, I could see that billing of employees having to

clean up a lot.

That's good.

Like if you do have a trophy and the cup is actually not, the brand is screwed onto the base, and it's not.

Anyway, how many calls have we done?

Just one?

Just one.

Let's motor it, guys.

Hey, Dave and Graham and fabulous guest.

I'm calling in with an overheard.

This is Gina in Falls Church, Virginia.

And I was watching previews at the movies tonight, and we saw the commercial for the Robbie Williams monkey movie that you have talked about.

And the lady sitting next to me said very loudly, Why is it rated R?

What are they doing to the monkey?

Love you guys.

Yeah, I haven't seen it.

Well, it's not out.

I think as of tomorrow here,

I loved ye explaining who Robbie Williams.

Because, like, I'm growing up with Robbie Williams, take that, all that.

So, ye explaining it to Nikki was just so funny to me.

It's been that long.

Yeah, Nikki Mordar.

Yeah.

She's in the Lower of the Rings.

She made it.

She was on, I don't know, eight weeks ago.

Yeah.

And she's your co-host on

For Us.

We've been talking about it that long.

We still haven't seen it.

I know.

It's like one of those things.

From the first trailer, I saw it.

I was obsessed.

But I don't think I'll go see it.

I really want to watch it.

Yeah.

I am going to see it in the theater because I think it's probably going to win a bunch of Oscars.

That's true.

You want to say you saw it when.

Yeah.

Because as soon as I saw it, I was like, what the the hell?

And then I was like, oh, well,

I haven't watched any interviews, but what I'm thinking is that, like, he's like a performing monkey his whole life.

Is that what it is?

I don't know.

No, no, it's like the Philadelphia movie.

Also, I was like, what?

What?

These stars, they're not like us.

Yeah, not like us.

And here's your final.

Hey, Dave Graham, possible guests.

This is Scott in Denmark.

I'm at Civoli Gardens Amusement Park and was outside the

Santa

photo booth and it had a sign saying that Santa had returned to Greenland and wished everyone a Merry Christmas.

Two guys read that out loud.

One muttered under his breath, lazy bastard.

Off I go.

As soon as he said Santa, I heard Phanta.

Oh yeah, so too.

And then I was thinking like, does Fanta do anything around Christmas with Fantasanta?

Oh, wow.

They really did.

They could have done by Coke, which Santa is created, like that image.

See?

Oh, all the more reason they should have done.

Fanta Panta.

I thought he said Fanta too.

I'm to your MP.

When I was going through the calls, I heard Santa, but just now I heard Fanta.

Santa, yeah.

So funny.

But anyway, check out Denmark to Hivoli Gardens in Copenhagen.

It's right across from the train station.

They got a great Rasmus Klump exhibit where you can see Rasmus Klump doing a show every hour on the hour.

Nice.

Nice.

We went twice when we went to Copenhagen.

Oh, really?

Cool.

Okay.

Shout out to...

What does it call it again?

Tiffoli Gardens.

Tivoli Gardens.

Tivoli.

I was going to say Wiggly Gardens.

I was like, that's not right.

Different kind of place.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode.

Amy, thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you for having me.

This is class.

Tell people where you can see the Big Dog Energy show.

Oh, yes, yeah.

So if you follow us on Instagram at Big Dog Energy Comedy, and then you can post about shows.

The next one is 22nd of January, next in Little Mount Gallery, and then we have another one in Cow Dog Brewery on the 31st of January, also in Just for Last Festival on February 15th.

So, nicely done.

February 15th, that's true 15 or 15, too, depending on

where

it is.

And also, you have a podcast that you're one of the hosts of, which is Soft Bruss, and you can find that on Instagram at Soft Russ.

And

I think it's Soft Russ Pod, I can't remember our talk.

And then my own Instagram is Amy Walsh Comedy.

Okay.

We did it.

All the plugs.

Well, go ahead.

Oh, well, I just wanted to say, we mentioned the fires in Los Angeles earlier.

Our thoughts are with everyone there.

We have a lot of listeners there, but we also have a lot of past guests.

Yeah,

I was getting locations from people and saying, where are you?

And it's luckily everyone I know is safe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Awful.

Jeez.

But

yeesh.

Yeah.

So scary.

Very terrifying.

I've got to get to get out of this here.

I wanted to plug something as well.

Each and every Thursday, I do the laugh gallery to LMG.

And on the 24th and 25th, I'm going to be in Whitehorse, Yukon.

How fun!

Doing a show at a place called the Boiler Room.

And,

you know, that's going to be the big ticket in town that night.

Come on.

What else are you going to do?

You can only watch Northern Lights so many times.

You get bored.

So, yeah, it's going to be a good time.

My opener is Randy Neumeier.

Easily one of the funniest around.

So

come on out to that.

And you know what?

Come on back next time for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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