Episode 866 - Abdul Aziz

Hi, he's Dave Shumka.

And he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 866 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark.

And with me, as always, is a man who it's a countdown, the spookiest day of the year.

There's only just over a week left.

He's revving.

He's got his costume picked out.

He's figured out what candies he's going to give out this year.

He's got a spooky playlist put together.

It's the very spooky Dave Shumka.

Yeah, I'm

getting razor blades to put in apples.

Yep, it's

spooktastic time of year, and no one does it spookier than us.

If you like, you know, spookiness, you're in the right place.

Gabagoo.

Yeah, yeah.

Just watching the Sopranos for the first time, and I didn't know that was a thing, a real thing.

I thought it was a made-up thing that.

Oh, no.

You know what it is, though?

No.

Is it meats?

Yeah.

Because you know how they'll like change mozzarella to mozzarelle, mozzarelle.

And they'll change Capicola to Gabagoo.

Ah, those guys.

Man, oh, man, what a lovable bunch of scams.

Yeah.

Our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast, he is the host of a podcast called Spout Lore, which is a DD-based podcast, and a brand new podcast called Mall Brats.

It's Abdulaziz.

Hello.

Hello.

Good to see you guys.

It's very nice to see you.

Thanks for coming on the show.

Thank you for having me back.

I love doing it.

Now, should we get to know us?

Let's get to know us.

Get to know us.

So, the elephant in the room room is not an elephant at all.

But if you feed an elephant,

Abdul has brung us

an edible arrangement.

And it's not like edibles, like oh, I was like,

what if it is, though?

Oh, shit, I already ate one.

Oh, yeah, I did put LSD in boots.

Oh, God.

You think

LSD is edibles?

Is that not what people are doing?

So it is doing a little

LSD after work.

I've already heard about these, and

I've never seen them in person.

It's like a

flower arrangement, but the flowers are all melons.

Yeah, it's

and it comes in a little pot.

I think it's like a little

plastic pot, not like a cardboard thing, but it comes in a beautiful cardboard box.

And the center of the arrangement is lettuce.

Yep.

That's true.

Lettuce or kale?

Very tight.

It's hardy.

We've got melon.

Orange melon.

What do you call the green melon?

What is that?

What do you call the orange melon?

Just melon, I guess.

And then cantaloupe is the...

No, honeydew and cantaloupe.

Honeydew and cantaloupe.

I don't know anything about melon.

Why are you guys specifically ignoring the strawberries?

There are strawberries.

Some are chocolate covered and some are regular.

Yeah.

And then there are flowers made of

pined apple.

Then the center of the flower is a bald melon.

Pretty good.

Yeah, cantaloupe.

And it smells really good.

It smells good for now.

What is the, what's your, you don't know melons?

I know of them.

I'm not,

I'm not up on my melons, I guess.

What's your, what do you like melon-wise?

Water.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love cantalubs, my number one melon.

Really?

Cantalapes, your number one?

Yeah.

Holy shit.

And listeners, we can't just stare at this the whole show.

Well, I'm going to.

You're going to hear some chomping as we go.

You're gonna?

You don't

it's all I want to do is stare at it.

You don't want to chomp on it?

Oh, no, I want to chomp on it.

Oh, but you're chewing gum.

Not anymore.

Are you going to leave in the eating parts of the show?

He's going to amplify them.

What do you mean?

Are you going to leave in us eating this edible arrangement?

Well, it's not going to eat itself.

Yeah.

You brought a giant edible arrangement and you're like, hey, Dave, want to edit around this?

i was trying to create more work for you dave

mr conflist

oh man this is delicious i think the person who cut this up all had previously cut up an onion arrangement

edible oh that would be amazing if it was a huge onion ring bouquet oh oh delicious yep there's a bloomin' onion store in this yeah bloomin' onion

of flour as well now what because i know i've had one at like a chilies in scotland or something like that, a bloomin' onion, but I don't remember what it was.

Is it Chili's in Scotland?

Yeah, at the airport.

Oh, it was a Chili's to go.

No, it was sitting.

It was eating Chilies.

Is it called Chili's to Go?

Is it called Chili's Express?

Yeah, is it Chilies to Go?

I think it's a Chili's to Go.

There's one in Calgary.

It's like a,

there's no seating.

You just go and grab chilies and then.

Oh.

Because there's one in Calgary that you sit at, but it's not called Chilies.

Why is it called Chili's to Go?

Maybe because you can get it to go to take on the plane.

Oh my God, can you imagine?

Baby back ribs on a plane.

A bloom and onion on a plane.

So a bloom and onion is an onion that's carved, like cut up.

And then fried.

And then, yeah, battered and fried.

And when, because it has been cut up, it blooms in the oil.

Oh, it doesn't bloom beforehand.

I think they maybe like fold it a bit, but it, like, I think the, I don't know.

I tried it and man, I can tell you, after one bite, you do not need a second bite.

It is

one bite.

I was like, what the fuck did I order, you know?

And a bloomin' onion is, I think a bloomin' onion is the one called,

is the one from

Outback Steakhouse.

Yeah, that's why I miss Outback Steakhouse.

You miss it?

Yeah.

Is it not around anymore?

No, they got rid of it like 10 years ago.

What?

It's still down in the States.

So when I was in Indianapolis, I like, I went to one and ordered a single bloomin' onion for myself.

And they were like, okay,

you can sit at the bar anyway yeah yeah yeah you're not gonna serve you at a table

um and that is funny to go to a restaurant i'll just have the pretzels

uh uh is it chilies is chilies call it an awesome blossom oh awesome blossom that's oh that's a better name yeah yeah

you have to know what the bloomin' onion was to get the awesome blossom right right because there's no onion in there oh exactly but uh

guess the amount of calories in a bloomin' onion?

4,000?

I'm going to say 3,500.

You're both high.

Yeah, that's right.

Hell yeah, there's a bunch of steam.

It is 1,900.

That's like

how much you needed a day.

Yeah.

What if that's what you did?

You ate the exact right amount of calories a day, but it was all off of like bloomin' onion.

Disgusting thing.

I don't know what I did wrong, but now in my Instagram algorithm, it's telling me, like,

like giving me like bad like eating disorder stuff,

like you need help type of stuff.

Or is it urging you to have

been slow?

Sort of like, here's how many, here's like different body shapes and different calorie counts.

Which is you?

Are you pear?

They have an eating disorder, Dev.

That's what Instagram sounds like in my head.

When I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, a reviewer said that I was womble-shaped.

And I was like,

what the fuck is womble?

And I looked it up.

Not complimentary at all.

Kind of pear-shaped.

Is it a womble like those, like, those,

like, the tele-tubby version, the version of the tele-tubbies that they have over there?

Maybe.

Okay.

I just remember looking it up and thinking, oh, that was certainly not a compliment.

Pear-shaped,

kind of like, kind of like a barbapapa, but yeah, anyways, wombles.

I was wombles.

Or a weeble.

Weebles wobble.

Well, but they don't fall down.

Yeah, but you're constantly falling down.

So

it's the edibles.

And now, Abdul also brought us drinks.

We'll get to those in a bit.

But first, I got to eat something, and apparently I have editing to do.

Abdul,

what's going on with you?

You've outdone yourself.

Thank you.

Thank you, by the way.

I'll try and do go bigger next time.

Because can I say one of my favorite Abdul things that you've done was on the you were on the radio show The Debaters.

Debaters.

And you found out that the debaters.ca

nobody had acquired that.

So

you bought it and posted pictures of yourself on the site.

It's still up.

You could go to the debaters.ca and see a fake CBC news article about me winning the debaters.

Just like so much extra work for you.

How did it come into, did it?

Did you use that in your debate?

Yeah, they put it up on the screen behind me.

Because it was like the debate was about pranks and whether they're good or bad.

And so I, as a prank, bought out the debater's dots here.

Are you a prankster?

I guess.

According to Katie Allen Humphreys, you're like the ultimate prank.

According to Katie Ellen Humphreys and the massive edible arrangement in the room, I do do a lot of gags.

Yeah, this isn't a prank so much because it's delicious.

It is delicious.

Unless, of course, it's dosed with

KO pectate.

No, the opposite.

LSD?

The opposite of KO pectate?

What is it that makes you go?

Oh.

What is it?

You know what I mean?

Like electronic.

Actually,

what a hilarious KO in the podcast.

This Kaopectate?

Yeah, I think it's just, I know it from that rap song.

It's like at one point he eats something and he says, you're going to need KO.

Oh, okay.

Whoa, that was in a rap song.

Yeah, it was in a rap song.

I thought it was, isn't there, who's the, there's a rap group that does like, um, they name a bunch of chemicals,

and then there's like one, they do the whole alphabet.

What is it?

Chemical calisthenics is one of those.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then what's the other one that's like alphabetic

arrangements?

Yeah.

You get fruit shape, like different

covered in different calories.

It's black alicious and they do

alphabet aerobics.

Alphabet aerobics.

They do it really quick, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it maybe even goes faster as it as the alphabet goes on.

But I wondered if I thought maybe

because KO Pecting was in a rap song in like laxative

Is it Rapper's Delight that he's that it has that line as he goes to a friend's and they have a horrible meal?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, Rapper's Delight is like 14 minutes long,

1900 calories,

and like it blooms when you fry it, it blooms when you fry it.

It's like some of the verses you can get rid of because there's like a whole bit about like how Superman is gay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

There's some questionable sex stuff that happens in them, but I love it.

Is Rapper's Delight the one that's like a hip?

How?

Yeah.

A hibby.

A hibby.

That's such a, it seems very

like wholesome.

Yeah, yeah, parts of it.

I think you're just thinking of the old lady from the wedding singer doing it.

Have you ever seen the wedding singer?

I have not seen the wedding singer.

It's um, do you have to see it?

I guess it's a fun, it's a fun romp.

It was like the first

movie to make fun of the 80s.

Yeah.

Oh, it was like mid-90s.

I'm like, we're already making fun of the 80s.

I love that.

Are you an Adam Sandler film fan?

I prefer his old stuff.

Yeah.

Well, this is his old stuff.

This is old stuff.

Don't get much older.

Maybe Wiz sixth.

Oh, he did it before that Righteous Gemstones movie or whatever?

Uncut Gemstones?

Uncut Gemstones.

Righteous Gemstones.

Well, no, I consider Uncut Gems with some of his old stuff.

Compared to his

special.

Safety Brothers made a film before that with Robert Pattinson at it.

And it's the whole film, you feel like you can't breathe up you're just tense the entire every scene makes it more tense and there's no relief in sight and it just like you know the parts and when there's no relief in sight

is Kaiopectate a brand name I think so I'm picturing it coming in a white bottle with black lettering on it.

What's milk of magnesia?

Oh, I don't know.

Magnesium?

Sure.

Yeah.

Oh, boy, I do not know the difference between magnesium, magnesia.

Mania.

There's like, you know, in chemistry, we learn to like the difference between an oxide and an oxate and whatever.

And then,

but I just bought some MSG monosodium gluten glutamate.

And I was like, why mate?

Not Nate.

It feels like I'd be Nate.

Abdul, take us through some of your best pranks.

Oh,

okay.

Let's see.

What did I do?

I bought the debaters.ca.

That was great.

One time when Katie was opening for that wrestler at JFL, I sent her a hot pink stretch SUV limousine.

All right, we got to break this down a bit.

What wrestler?

Is that snake guy?

Oh, Jake the Snake.

Or might it not have been Jake the Snake?

Was there a guy who held a snake that wasn't Jake the Snake?

Maybe some of his opponents would pose that.

Yeah.

Gerald the snake abductor.

Yeah, the rest of our Slither.

Gerald took my snake again.

I got fought.

Do you do pranks?

Do all your pranks cost like at least $100?

Oh, minima, minima.

My wife hates it.

You've never pranked your wife, have you?

Or is that how you guys kind of met and fell in love?

I mean, some people would say that our entire marriage is a bit of a prank.

But he's kidding, of course, folks.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

I've never, I don't think I've ever pranked her.

Would you?

I don't think so.

I think I respect her too much.

If you're listening, Katie Ellen,

you hear what he said.

So the Katie Ellen thing was she was opening for, I feel like it was Mitch, his name was.

Oh, what's his name?

Mitch.

Foley?

Foley.

That's what it was.

Mick's a snick.

He had a sock.

Maybe that was the.

Did he have a sock that he had?

He had a sock that was a puppet.

Is he still doing stand-up?

Oh, I don't know.

I heard it was just him like old ring.

Yeah, it wasn't so much stand-up as it was like a storytelling event with

light-hearted.

I went to

every other wrestler you've ever

my sister-in-law got me tickets to go see Ric Flair in being interviewed.

Oh, and man, he was just the oldest man.

He just kept getting stuck on details of the story that didn't matter.

Oh, man.

And be like, remember that guy?

He was probably like five.

You know, he was like six foot, six foot six.

Like, he's really tall.

What was his name?

Six foot six.

But he just like kept stuck on six.

So we were flying and it was, who was owned that plane?

It was a private plane.

It wasn't.

He was just listening to the.

And everybody in the audience just kept yelling, woo, and the audience got out of control very quickly.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

People had to be asked to leave.

That's like the opposite of a podcast audience where they're the most polite people in the world.

Who?

A podcast audience?

I would say podcast audience is like the most polite people I've ever

encountered.

Yes.

Yeah.

If there's anything I know about podcast audiences, they're dwindling.

Jim, look at the little scale.

Look, we're not the office ladies.

We can only do so much.

Sure, but one thing I know that podcast audiences love hearing me eat melon.

And strawberries.

We got to put this behind the paywall.

If you pay, you could hear the whole melon.

Oh, yeah.

I'll just isolate the melon.

Just know anytime Abdul is talking, Craig and I are eating melon.

Or eating melon.

Or pineapple.

There's pineapple flowers on here.

My hands are so sticky.

Or strawberry.

Why do you guys keep ignoring the strawberry?

I've had two of the strawberries and they're amazing, but they crunch a lot.

There is a crunch in there.

Yeah.

So the stretch microphone.

I'm like, I'm not a player, I just crunch a lot.

Did she ride in it?

Should she go to or from the venue in it?

Okay, so here's what happened:

I had asked if she wanted to hang out after her show, and then I forgot that I did that.

And then she was like, where are you?

And I was like, Victoria.

And it was on Valentine's Day.

And she was like, well, well, this is the, she was like laying it on, but she was like, worst Valentine's Day

thing you could have done.

Stand her up.

Is stand me up.

So

Miles Anderson, another comedian, was opening for her.

Yeah.

Yes.

Hilarious comedian.

Yeah.

Great guy.

We were just with him in Edmonton.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he, I basically, I, I was like, Miles, where are you guys?

Where are you guys performing?

He was like, We're at Yuck Yux.

So, I sent, I called, and it was like 9 p.m.

on

Valentine's Day.

So, I called every limousine company in Vancouver and it was like,

Do you have anyone available?

And one of them was like, We have the pink one available.

And it showed, so I sent it, and it showed up at Yuck Yux.

And they

like waited outside for the show to end for like

40 minutes.

And if it was the old Yaki X up on 12th, so it was like, there isn't a place for a limousine.

There's a very little parking really.

So I think it was obstructing traffic a lot.

And then at the end, and Katie was like,

so Katie had tried to make me feel bad so that I went over the top to like be like,

to kind of like make her feel bad.

Make her feel bad.

Yeah, I guess.

That's where's my presence.

And then at the end of the day, she just refused to get in the limousine.

That was going to drive her home?

Yeah.

That's five-minute drive.

It would have been a five-minute drive.

Yeah.

When you think about a limo abstractly, like, first of all, it doesn't seem, unless you knew it was associated with people with a lot of money, it doesn't seem like it's a luxury to have a very long car.

No.

It seems like something like a hillbilly would have.

Like, we got the longest car.

There's a more car in the middle.

Yeah.

The luxury is not driving it.

Yeah.

No, I mean, but like, so like a count town car is like, that's nice.

Or like Rolls-Royce or whatever.

But the fact that limos kind of exist, like, I don't, I don't understand where they would have come from.

You've been in them?

I have been in two.

Two limos.

One was like

an SUV size, and then the other one was just normal cars.

Radio and special.

Was it an SUV as well?

Yes.

Stretch, stretch.

Hot pig.

Have you been in one?

No.

Wow.

You?

I've been in two.

Yeah.

One was

one great.

My family got home from a vacation when I was a kid.

We got home to the airport and

my dad did the math.

He was like, oh, it's cheaper.

Like, there were six of us in the family.

It's cheaper to get a limo than two taxis.

So we got a limo home.

As long as you don't open that math.

We were just flying home from Hawaii and I had

i do believe i barfed seven times you should have got some kopectane while you were in hawaii

uh i remember it was seven because we there's six people in the family and we had we didn't have enough barf bags

uh and then the other one what was they brought the barf bag what do they do with the barf bag yeah like after it's full like where does it that the garbage but like Is there a garbage that's just like

just for barf?

Just for barf.

Why wouldn't they just put it down the toilet?

Yeah, that's well, because then you can't put the bag down.

You want the

iron

empty it over?

All right, American Airlines, this is what you should do.

If you're listening, I would just squeeze it.

I would squeeze it.

I would squeeze the contents down the toilet.

Like you're one of mime in like a frosting bag

situation.

Yeah.

And then I would throw the bag at the garbage.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Anyways, that's something I've never thought about before today.

And with prom, was it like 10 of you?

I also barfed in that.

Did you?

I don't know.

No, yeah.

If you get horizontal, that's two.

Horizontigo?

Vertigo

of the long car?

Oh, man.

I'm so glad I didn't bring a party sub.

Oh, you don't do that.

Dave gets horizontal.

If he sees anything too long,

he

starts throwing it up.

I recently watched vertigo for the first time oh yeah what do you think it's a lot of uh

a lot of walking around there's a lot of walking around but there's also that that famous shot right where they're pushing in and uh oh yeah zooming out pushing in and pulling out yeah but it that was done with models that wasn't like uh

like it was just with miniatures miniatures yeah because it's easier to push and pull yeah get some little guys in

the uh when i was in no wait north by Northwest is the one where they scale uh Mount Rushmore.

Yeah, and South by Southwest is where we're uh our band is playing.

Yeah, our band is RDB album is playing.

Yeah, RDB album is playing there.

Pitcher Ticks.

Yeah.

When you think it might be a prank.

Wait a minute.

Abduel.

Did the booker sound a little something like this?

Yeah.

And he uh we're getting picked up in a really long like barbecue truck.

Whatever they

truck.

But that does seem like it.

I mean, there's got to be so many different types of limos now that I think of it.

I see a lot of them because my house is by the PE.

Oh.

There's a lot of limos left over from the Olympics.

Right.

Why?

I don't know.

I think they just styled them all Olympic style, and they're still driving around with like the Olympic rings.

Oh, really?

Were they official Olympic vehicles or were they just people making a buck?

They were trying to make a buck, so they made them Olympic style.

Now, you live near the PNE.

How close?

Like a two-minute walk.

It's not PNE the flowers.

Do a lot of people in that neighborhood or do you?

Do people park, like, have their

sell parking on their front lawns?

Oh, yeah.

So many people.

It's so much fun because it's like, I don't do it, but

like it's kind of a, it's one of the few remnants of like the 80s and 90s in Vancouver, it feels like.

And it's like people are still like out there like selling their parking for like $20.

Yeah.

It's pretty sick.

Well, if you go down there, $20 is a steal compared to the 20-minute walk you may have to take.

I know.

They started parking people on the horse track.

I did that last year.

You probably hated that.

Jump over these, fellas.

The jockeys were pissed.

What are they going to do about it, you know?

Yeah, little guys.

So little.

But put them on a horse.

Oh, shit.

Watch them go.

They're unstoppable.

That's why they do it.

Don't let him get on a horse.

What's his name from?

The monkeys.

TV Jones.

He was the jockey before.

Oh, yeah.

He was a jockey.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

He was tiny.

He was a tiny little guy.

That's an amazing transition.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Well, he does.

Even in the start of

Daydream Believer, there's like a little studio noise, and like he starts the song and or

they call out the wrong take number or something, and he says, you're just saying that because I'm short, aren't you?

Anyway, check it out.

Daydream Believer, the monkey.

The monkeys.

Do you grow up with the monkeys?

I didn't.

I was in the Middle East between the ages of like four and 11.

Okay.

So there was a delay.

Four or eleven.

Sounds like the height of one of these jockeys.

You're just saying that because the guy from the monkeys is short.

And so there was a delay.

What was big in

culture from ages 4 to 11 in the Middle East?

I remember in 1999, we got Cotton Eye Joe.

Cotton Eye Joe.

Yeah.

So like just the song or the music video?

Oh, just the song.

Just the song.

So what is who, like, who got it?

Like, just the radio stations got it?

No, we never listened to radio because I was saying that.

We did the same thing.

Obviously, it was cottonized.

No, because it's someone singing about him.

If it hadn't been,

I'd be merry a long time ago.

Holy shit, you're right, Dave.

Yeah.

Yeah, so there.

Unless he's singing about himself.

Where did I come from?

Where did I go?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's deep.

And what impact did this have on you and the Middle East culture in general?

Let's really dig in on the Middle East now.

Not now when.

Yeah.

I think it was like there was a thing in the Middle East where if you're growing up there, you know that you're getting a different version of every movie.

Like

for like, because if you live in an Islamic state, they take any like Western references out of movies and also any sex out of movies.

So Titanic was like 45 minutes long.

What kind of Western, like every Western reference?

Like, okay, the Titanic can't leave from England.

Yeah, he can't say partner.

He can't say Giddy up.

These are the Western references we hate.

We didn't see it leave.

We didn't see it arrive.

Well, no one saw it arrive.

It was very pro-iceberg, in all honesty.

And like,

did they have, because sometimes you see, I think maybe from

somewhere in the Middle East, like they did posters.

They made their own posters

based on the general context of the other.

There's some of those African ones.

Yeah.

And they're like beautiful pieces of art on their own.

It's just wild what they tune into.

Yeah.

Be like a Star Wars one and like Archer Deto is the biggest thing in it.

The star.

I guess I'm thinking of the African ones that are like hand-painted

with like Rambo and like so much like blood on the painting.

But yeah, I don't know why.

Why wouldn't you just get the photo one?

I guess it's just maybe laws or rules or something.

You know, it's cheaper to paint something than print something.

That's true.

Oh, it could be that.

It could be that there were no printers.

And it's maybe like, you know, one movie theater has it.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

But that movie theater, what a ride.

Everyone, a blockbuster.

I'm remembering now that Egypt did an unsanctioned copy of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in Arabic.

I remember that Dirty Rotten Rotten Scoundrels is the

Steve Martin movie, right?

Yeah.

They copied it basically frame for frame.

Oh, they didn't just dub it over.

They actually re-shot it.

They reshot it in Arabic.

Wow.

I mean, why not?

I guess.

Yeah.

In Russia, they do a lot of buying TV series, reshooting them as Russian sitcoms.

And Russia is, you just, it's all laughs all the time there in Russia.

They've got funniest country in the world.

Yeah.

Pound for pound.

By land, mass.

By land.

Yeah, yeah.

I would guess it's probably the least funny by landmass.

A lot of land.

So you're the original prankster.

You grew up in the Middle East.

You grew up in the Middle East.

You love Cotton Eye Joe.

I love Cotton I Joe.

I do love Cotton Eye Joe.

I have very good memories of it.

I bet.

Yeah.

It's a great story.

But like, was it a big.

It was everyone, was it everywhere?

It was everywhere.

People, so the way that you would get music in the Middle East is you would go to

like, so people had like, oh my God, this is going to sound like a big racist, but this is actually what it was.

This isn't my voice.

So there was bazaars, essentially, where people just like.

copied it was like there were bootlegs it was everything was a bootleg yeah and it was just people would have like huge tables like with stacks and stacks of

tapes.

Stacks and stacks of ha ha wax.

They would have tape decks, and you would just go and buy one for so cheap.

And it would always be like Party Mix, whatever year it was.

So Party Mix 97, Party Mix 98.

Oh my God.

I mean, this is all I listened to at the time.

Yeah.

Now that's what I call music

basically.

It was the Arabic version of Party Mix 98.

And now we have

a different song.

Now that was me doing the character.

Well,

Abby's family lived in Asia for a while,

like Vietnam and China.

And they had,

we would go visit, and there were just like so many people selling bootleg DVDs.

Oh, yeah.

Did you buy one?

The one that you brought back?

Oh, I have tons.

Yeah, but I remember the

cases of them being.

Yeah, we had the full.

Oh, yeah.

And the case.

Oh, I i wish i could remember them they would just pick the oh oh god

i want to ask abby where they would pick like where they would just design a cover for it yeah take a screenshot of the movie put the title of the movie

and then put just some um

put some reviews on the bottom blurbs and some of them were terrible reviews

I'm going to ask Abby.

You guys talk amongst yourselves.

So there was, it was all of the VHS tapes I i had were also bootlegs right i remember i remember i was always so confused why we were doing this because we like my dad would drive outside of town to like a tire shop that was on the outskirts of town in the desert okay and they also sold they did tires and sold bootleg vhs gotta be in both and that's where i bought the muppets from space and first version of the muppets from space

they were from space or are they in space

Oh,

you know what?

I do appreciate you calling me in on that.

Gonzo might be from space.

Well, that's the

premise.

Gonzo's trying to find his.

I haven't seen any Muppet movie past the Christmas girl.

The Muppets from Space is really good.

It was kind of sad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All the Muppet movies have a bittersweet.

No, it's Muppets from Space.

I apologize.

Muppets from Space.

Yeah, because he would have been from space.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was so funny.

Jeffrey Tambour is in it.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's that.

I love it.

I love the culture of celebrities that appear on Sesame Street or so funny.

Yeah.

And just like the randomness of it.

Yeah, because it was Jason Siegel most recently, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you, you have a new podcast, brand new podcast.

I have a brand new podcast.

What is it?

Tell us about it.

It is called.

It's called Maul Bratz.

Mall Brats.

And there's two podcasts called Maul Bratz.

Ours is the one that has like the little cartoon character kids on the front of it.

And it's another kind of like DD style podcast

where we play an RPG.

And it's sort of.

And RPG stands for Roly Polygoli.

Yeah, Roly Polygoli.

Roly playing game.

And it's basically,

we chose like a system that's super rules-light.

It's like a really stripped-down version.

Graham, it's rules-light.

Of D.

That's my problem.

It's like really easy to follow.

It's mostly like,

It's mostly just improv and some dice rolling.

And

the setting is really fun where it's

the

it's like if instead of directing Gangs of New York, Martin Scorsese directed Disney's recess.

All right.

So it's these orphans living in like a fantasy version of the West Edmonton Mall.

That's why they're the Mall Brats.

That's why they're the Mall Brats.

And they're like a little gang of criminals that like make candy and try and sell it on the black market and do crimes.

And they like live in the mall.

So it's always the same characters?

Sure.

Always the same characters.

All DD type shows are like kind of like one story.

Oh, really?

It's basically like a TV show.

It's like an episodic thing.

And you're just kind of using the game mechanics to like

facilitate the improv.

Right.

And you

correct me if I'm wrong.

You go big on these things.

You have a big vision for these things and you like the recording is always like, do you do it all at once?

We do.

No, no, no, no.

It's like we record it over several years.

Oh.

I guess that's that is good.

That's the opposite.

Yeah.

So we do.

But like a season, like do you do it in seasons?

And it's like.

We release them in seasons.

Each episode is about an hour.

But we record,

like, it's like kind of like every we're so Spout Lore, our first show.

Love it.

is in season 12.

Got him with that one.

Got his ass.

That's so funny.

Just dead out.

Love it.

That was my kind of prank.

I pretended I loved his work.

Spell or we started it in 2017.

It's in season 12 now.

And it's like, so there's like 200 or whatever episodes, but it's the same characters playing through like a single story.

So you can kind of think of it like dumb, funny Game of Thrones.

And is it

one person that's like the storyteller of it?

Yeah, that's...

Sorry, go ahead.

No, and then everybody like rolls.

And if you get a 10, that means you can do something but does that up to the the person telling the story or are there rules that a three is always a gem or exactly yeah so it's like it's the

as soon as you roll a three you find a gem you find a gem

put it in your little pouch so it's like the best way to describe it is it's like it is

um the like the it's like a series of comedy bits and it's loosely connected by dice rolls.

Okay.

The game master kind of like facilitates the whole thing where he knows all of the rules and you you have a character that you always play.

It's always the same character.

Right.

And you

know kind of what your stats are.

And so like every time you want to do something, you tell the game master, I'm going to do this thing.

He's like, all right, try to do it.

And you roll dice.

And then if the dice roll is high enough, then you accomplish it.

You achieve that.

But it's like, and then the game master, who is the person who is facilitating everything.

Are you the game master?

I'm not the Game Master.

Oh, you're not the Game Man Master.

Have you ever been a Game Master?

I've never been a Game Master.

It seems like you'd have to know a lot of stuff.

Yeah, I know it.

Does the Game Master write the story?

Or

the world?

They can.

So our GM improvises everything because he's very good at storytelling.

His name is Sean.

Oh, you're going to say his name.

Okay.

Boy.

They've had one locked and loaded.

No, no, I was like,

you kept referring to him as a game master, but not saying his name, and I was wondering if it was secretive.

Yeah, or that, that, you know, he'd been canceled.

Yeah, a game master of Louis.

We do it all in his hotel room.

But it's, yeah, it's like...

His name's Sean.

His name is Sean.

His name's Sean.

His name is Sean.

He's so good at like storytelling and playing characters and doing voices.

Oh, you're right.

Here's me.

Pretty good.

Oh, my God.

You've got?

It's me, you're a Transporter.

What are you doing, Transporter?

Wait, are you also

transporter?

I roll a six and decide who's the transporter.

No, no, no.

No.

This is, I would, honestly, if you guys did that as an RPG show, Statham versus Statham.

Two transporters trying to transport every

now transport each other.

Oi.

It's me, Chev Chelyo.

Yeah.

It's from Crank.

The beekeeper from the beekeeper.

Oi, it's me from the early

Gus, what's his name movies?

I'm either Hobbes or Shaw.

The guy Richie movies.

You think maybe I'm a legitimate actor at this point.

I love Jason's datum.

He's the best.

Good physique.

Good physique.

Knows exactly what type of movies people like from him.

That beekeeper, so funny, but literally, that seems to be the packaging of every other action film.

He's been trained in the Middle East somewhere.

He's a Navy SEAL.

He's giving it up.

He's been a self-defense.

He does trained in the Middle East because you can hear Cotton Eye Joe in the background.

It's got Dance Mix 97.

I like the movies where he has hair.

Yeah.

Very off-putting.

Which ones are there?

There's a handful where there's a couple where he wears a wig.

It's kind of like, I remember remember Hulk Hogan did a movie where he's wearing a wig.

He's got bangs.

Feathery bangs.

He's got a bob.

He's still wearing the handkerchief on his head, but you can see bangs like poking out from underneath.

And he goes through a breakup and cuts his bangs.

That's what you got to do.

It's new relationship, new you.

So is the game that you've been playing for 10 seasons the same game?

Yeah.

Oh, so it's not just a season long and then you start.

No, yeah.

It's the same thing all the way through.

Like it starts with us running protection for a food vendor at a hot dog festival.

Okay.

Classic Game of Thrones.

Let me guess what they sell this food vendor.

Hot dogs?

It's actually, yeah, kebab's meat.

Kebab's, okay.

All right.

And then over the course of the show, like, the steaks get bigger and bigger and bigger.

But it's like a comedy all the way through.

It's like a fantasy comedy kind kind of thing.

The steaks get bigger?

I thought these were hot dogs, not steaks.

Yeah, that would be a good way of describing something like, it's the steak of hot dogs, like how they used to say it's like the Cadillac of soap.

Yeah, so bloody in the middle.

The champagne of hot dogs.

And how many people are on this?

Three?

There's the Game Master and three players.

So there's three characters, and then the Game Master plays basically everyone else in the world.

It's me.

Oh, who's this guy?

It's me.

Jason Stephen.

Little Stephen.

Tony Blair.

It's Tony Blair.

Everybody.

I'm actually American.

See?

I'm from New Jersey.

He got knocked on the head and now he's got a different accent.

How do you say Capicola?

Capicol.

Hey, everybody, it's the tiniest mayor.

The mayor of Long Island?

We We got the mayor of Long Island here.

We got the mayor of each town.

Well, it's called

the Kids from the Mall, and we love it here.

It's called Mall Brats.

Mall Brats.

Mall Brats.

That is a new show.

Already out.

People can get it.

It's already out.

There's like eight episodes out now.

It comes out every two weeks, and it's about these like little orphans doing crimes in the fantasy version of the West Edmonton Mall.

Love it.

Very.

Have you ever been to West

Edmonton Mall?

First time was when I was in Edmonton with you.

And you went?

I went.

I loved it.

Yeah?

It's the greatest place I've ever been.

It is pretty great.

When I was a kid, I thought it was like

unbelievable.

Because they had like two the gaps, I think.

Oh, sure.

I think they had more than that was the thing that you thought was unbelievable.

It was a spear chip as well.

Yeah, it's got a water park and an amusement park, but it used to be the world's biggest mall.

And you think, oh, that must be great.

But they just ran out of stores where they have two gas, probably two body shops.

Yeah, I remember.

I'm going to the good hot topic.

Yeah.

I'll see you guys later.

How long did, like, did you walk from Entene?

How long of a walk is that?

20 minutes?

20 minutes?

It's the biggest mall in the world.

Or it was.

I feel like it's like an hour to get.

Oh, it's like an hour.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Like, the.

Because I feel like I breeze through them all in under 10.

No way.

I went to Metro Town yesterday and it was

a big mall, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, West 17 mall is the biggest.

They have two pretzel places in Metro Town.

And for my money, it's the upstairs is the better one, but the downstairs has like a lot more variety.

What's the upstairs one?

Is that the one by UniClow?

Yeah, somewhere where you could put mustard on it and ruin some clothing.

What's the variety that you're getting at the downstairs one?

Sweet, sweet, savory.

I feel like one is more savory-based, sweet, savory, Chinese,

Mexican,

Dorito-flavored.

I'm just going to look up what they got.

Okay, I got to accept the cookies here.

That's you kick cookies by George.

You accept some cookies.

Oh, yeah, there's Little Monk Pretzel.

Little Monk, and then Mr.

Pretzel.

And Mr.

Pretzels.

And Mr.

Pretzel has less variety.

I think.

No, now I'm talking out of school.

I don't know which one's which.

I just know one's upstairs and one's downstairs.

And I had one for me.

Little Monk isn't right next to the Uniqlo.

You're going to want want to go you're going to want to go to both yeah go to uniqlo first don't get grease and mustard on

my i get sock these socks i'm wearing uniqlo oh yeah those are nice i'm a unique sock buyer yeah oh if uniqlo bring back those roger federer socks that you had with the little uniqlo logo on the side i had so many of them that i i bought them like six, seven years ago.

I still have pairs of them, but I'm running out and now people are selling them on eBay for like $100.

You got to sell yours.

Well, mine are worn.

Oh, they're all worn.

Yeah.

You don't have to worry about it.

You can sell them for $1,000.

Oh, yeah.

Behind the paywall.

Freaks.

It sucks when you see something on eBay or at a store that you had, and somewhere over the years, gave it away, lost it, it got threadbare.

Oh, I have a really old Weezer t-shirt.

Oh, yeah.

Of them all in Elvis,

like Elvis impersonator jumpsuits.

Yeah.

And, uh, it's from like 1996, maybe.

Oh, like vintage video.

And I've rarely wore it because I was like, oh, this is nice, but I feel weird wearing it.

But, and it was always a little big for me.

Um, and um,

I've checked it, and it's like, I've seen it for $400.

Really?

But I don't want to, I like, I don't want to go through having to sell it.

Is there like a service I can use?

Yeah, you know, keep it.

Then you don't have to meet anybody in a parking lot.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

I know I've talked about it on the podcast before, but I went to like a market that was just vintage t-shirts.

One of them that they had was like for $300 and it was one that I had as a kid with Wayne and Garth on it.

And I was like, oh man, I wonder if that, I don't know where it is or where it ended up.

But I really wanted to see if I could find that, you know, cash in a little bit.

But maybe that was the one that was for sale.

Maybe I went to a thrift store and somebody bought it.

Now it's 300 bucks.

Up into the wind in Calgary, and then it landed in that.

Yeah, like the feather from Forest Gump.

Now, Abdul, he knocked on the door.

He showed up.

He had an edible arrangement in his hands.

We laughed.

We laughed.

And then he came in.

He said, oh, one more thing.

And he grabbed this bag and he said, I have drinks for you.

So I have.

This is a big, like, kind of Trader Joe's duffel bag.

It's like an insulated bag.

It's a cooler bag.

It's a cooler bag.

They're cool drinks.

Okay.

And it's really cool.

It's heavy.

It is heavy.

Okay.

Jim looked so disappointed immediately.

I have unzipped the bag and it's Prime.

What?

It's Prime.

Oh, Prime is an energy.

This is the Jake Paul Logan Paul.

It's a Jake Paul Logan Paul KSA joint.

Who's KSA?

I think he's the British Logan Paul.

Oh, cool.

I didn't know Britain needed a zone, but.

I don't think America needs one.

I'm strong disagree.

Now,

these are like a Gatorade-esque.

I think, yeah, they're kind of like a vitamin water.

Vitamin water.

Yeah, they're like sugar-free.

Someone told me that they have a lot of PFAS in them, so just

know that.

So there's,

and the, you brought four varieties times three.

You brought 12 bottles of

stuff.

So we could each drink one entire bottle of one of the flavors.

One of the flavors.

Okay.

I would have had four.

There's strawberry, watermelon, something called ice pop.

Ice pop looks good because it's the colors of it's the red, white, and blue.

It looks like a rocket pop.

Yeah, blue, raspberry, and lemonade.

And it says at the bottom, and I'm sure this is like an FBA thing that they've got around

hydration drink.

It's technically doesn't meet the standard as water.

Yeah, as a drink.

It's got to be hydration.

Okay, well,

ingredients, filtered water.

20 calories, coconut water from concentrate, citric acid.

This is all stuff

my body needs anyway.

Dipotassium phosphate.

Is it eight or

a phosphite?

It's a fist fight.

Not intended for children, says that, for adults only.

Well, that's because Logan and Jake Paul have so many adult fans.

Yeah, it says here very clearly, do not exceed one serving per day.

And what is one serving?

A container.

Okay.

If you're pregnant or breastfeeding, contact a health care practitioner prior to use.

Really?

Yeah, that's the very bottom one there.

Crazy.

Man,

do not consume this product with other supplemented

foods.

Yeah, if you're pregnant or breastfeeding.

So if you're out there and you're thinking about having a kid and,

you know, get your priming before you get pregnant, I have to say.

Well, I'm I'm going to pop the ice pop.

Okay, you're going to go ice pop.

I'm going to go.

You're going lemonade.

I'll go lemonade.

I'll go

blue raspberry.

It does taste like those ice pops.

My kids will be so jealous, but they're not allowed to.

You're under 14.

You cannot have...

Whoa.

No, you know what?

Put it in a box somewhere, and then when they turn 18.

Yeah, it's also non-caffeinated and gluten-free.

Oh, wow.

That tastes like a freezy.

The blue raspberry tastes like a blue freezy.

It's got, oh, it

has that weird thing that happens when you something's liquid but then you agitate it and it becomes frozen

yeah it's still freezing there that's why kids can't drink it the fact that they legally shouldn't allow them to say this is naturally flavored because it doesn't taste like anything for them no and it's um it has that sort of like fake uh sweetness to it yeah where it it's not sugar stays in your mouth yeah it's got bee vitamins it's got antioxidants got beef vitamins

have i made that joke before?

Probably.

What do you think the website is that you could go to?

I probably, the debaters does CA.

This is a very name.

You break our ass.

You break us with Prime.

It's drinkprime.com.

Drinkprime.com.

Yeah.

Well, thanks.

That's great.

Yeah.

So we got to get through all of them before I leave.

Well, the doctor, the model says not to.

And my doctor disagrees.

My doctor says, if anything, you should be drinking two Primes a day.

Prime was developed.

They sell this stuff everywhere.

Like, it's...

Yeah.

I feel like it's gamer fuel.

But it's not.

You want to be a gamer.

You got to feel like one.

They sell it where I get my hockey skates sharpened.

Sounds like where I used to pick up bootlegs.

Yeah, it's weird.

It's like places that aren't

food stores sell this.

This is 10% coconut water.

It's only 10%.

And it was developed to fill the void where great taste meets function.

Caffeine-free?

Well, what's going on with me?

Yes, Dave, what's going on with you?

Drink-wise and otherwise.

Well, a couple things.

I told you I bought that Modiosodium glutamate.

Yep.

That MSG.

It's a powder?

Is it a

white crystally powder?

It sounds like my high school teeth.

I did a lot of coconut.

You snorted MSG.

And you know what it is?

It's like, it gives that umami flavor.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a flavor enhancer.

Enhancer.

And it got a bad rep, even though it's not bad for you.

Yeah, there was a thing called MSG syndrome or Chinese restaurant syndrome.

Yeah.

Because

it's in a lot of Chinese food and people would like report.

headaches and sluggishness afterwards.

I got the opposite.

Every time we went for Chinese, I lost my mind.

Like always, on the the car ride home i was insane yeah like to the point i think that my parents were like well we just can't go back

you're losing mind

all over the windows

i gotta find paul betany

um and it it uh had like

um and it got to the point where chinese restaurants would say no msg on on their sign yeah um But now, because the big thing that happened lately is there's this

TikTok guy.

I see him on Instagram.

And he's a guy.

He's not the Rizzler, is he?

No, The Rizzler.

Oh, we love The Rizzler.

Big Justice and AJ and The Rizzler.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, they're a family that eat cookies and then review them on Instagram.

You don't know the Rizzler family?

I've never heard of them.

I hadn't before last week, and that's all I think about.

Yeah.

And they have a song called Here Comes the Boom.

Oh, we bring the Boom.

We bring the Boom.

And it's the background music in every one of their posts.

And they review cookies?

They mostly review the double chunk chocolate cookie from Costco.

It's one cookie.

They compare things to the double chunk chocolate chip cookie from Costco, which gets five big boo-boo boo-boo boo-boo.

But this is not who we're talking about.

No, we're not talking.

We're talking about Mr.

Pretzel.

We're talking about a one guy who

there's this white bleach blonde guy on the internet who makes cucumber salads.

Okay.

And what he does is he takes a big like jug, a big plastic, the kind that like

a big yogurt container style thing.

Yeah.

But the kind that they have in like restaurant kitchens that people drink out of.

Okay.

Or you know, store things in.

Oh, yeah.

And he

uses a mandolin to

play losing my religion.

That's what I was going to say.

I was like, what's the number one mandolin?

Mandolin Rain by Bruce Ornsby in the Rain.

Okay.

And he

slices them super thin, and then he adds, you know, soy sauce and

fish sauce and onions and garlic and

MSG, and he shakes it up, and like he makes a new different cucumber salad in every post.

And

people, like, the fact that he's using MSG became this big thing, and like, how it's like racist because,

like, what?

Well, like, we accept a white guy using MSG, but when Chinese restaurants were using it, it was

the whole syndrome based around it.

We're not sure where to stand on somebody that dresses up like a Chinese person who's a white person.

Yeah, we don't know.

Yeah, we're still too soon to tell.

Are you talking about John Wayne?

Yeah, that's right.

You play Ganges Khan.

We're talking about Mickey Rooney.

No, he's Japanese.

That's right.

God, it happens so much.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was a man.

Oh, Peter Sellers did one.

Yeah, a local stand-up did one.

Not that I remember.

You answered that like in my biography.

Anyway, so we.

Yeah, so this I've been,

I was kind of like looking for

MSG for a while, and then I went to a.

a Chinese grocery store and got some.

Yeah.

It's good.

It's fine.

It's delicious.

I haven't experimented with it in other recipes yet, though.

So you've made this cucumber thing?

I made one of his cucumber salads and it was pretty good.

I slurped them up.

Oh, yeah, that's his other thing is he slurps super loud and it's gross.

Disgusting.

But the other thing that's going on with me, well, first of all,

that was first of all.

Second of all, so this is my, we're,

we're, the summer's over, guys.

What?

No.

No fucking way.

I just put out my slip and slide like two weeks ago.

I know, and we keep getting colds when we use it.

Yeah, and there's leaves all over it.

So this was

so, I do a little bit of gardening, sure, but mostly I garden flowers, pretty plants.

Did you wear a big fluffy hat?

I do wear a big floppy hat, big gloves.

Yeah, big gloves with strawberries on them.

But this was the first year that I grew, tried to grow food.

So I had,

but I don't need to because people keep delivering melon.

But so this year I grew,

I tried to grow, or I planted.

I don't know.

There's holes in your story all over the place.

I had no expectations for anything.

I planted kale.

Yeah.

And that grew pretty good, but I didn't like it.

Yeah.

Kale's hardy.

It can grow in a lot of situations.

It can grow during the day.

I think I grew the wrong species of kale.

It's just not.

You grew ass kale.

It just tastes like shit.

Yeah.

I grew ass kale.

Is that what you said?

Yeah, okay.

And I grew,

it was just kind of like,

I like dinosaur kale.

It's my favorite kale.

Oh, the big rubbery.

Yeah.

Godzilla.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm going to try to grow some of that next year.

Yeah.

And I grew, I planted asparagus.

Stuff grew, but it wasn't asparagus.

I don't even know what an asparagus plant would look like.

It's, I don't know.

Isn't it just the isn't it just one little guy well that's the thing those do come out of the ground but then they flower out and sprout out oh apparently it takes years for you until you can eat it so

so that's next time you're having asparagus think about what a rare yeah you're having i planted a a raspberry bush and it grew very big but didn't have any raspberries

i planted what are you what are you doing wrong what's the essential component that you i don't care

i just

like i planted tomatoes.

Your wife, Sally, was like, oh, Dave, you remember to water these from the bottom?

And I was like, we'll see.

It's sort of like survival of the fittest.

Yeah, and Kale's the fittest so far.

But I grew peas, and they did pretty well for a while.

Okay.

And then.

Snap peas?

Yeah.

Okay.

And then I grew

cucumbers.

Oh, yeah.

And they

do nothing to say about them.

And they were

like the bush got very big and they were just little tiny like gherkins growing

and then uh one there was one very big uh cucumber that grew and

what

you're growing cucumbers you're growing ass kale

and uh i grew and so

and one grew and then i um

pulled the leaves back a couple weeks ago and there were like 10 huge cucumbers growing.

Oh shit.

So I was like, okay, got to this MSG.

Gotta start eating cucumber every day.

You're both welcome to take a cucumber home if you want.

I'm gonna be carrying half of an edible basket home.

Oh, no, you're not.

No, what?

You're taking the prime.

Take all the prime with me.

Anyway, so I made, so yeah, now we've got so much cucumber.

How was it received?

Oh, the cucumber

by me?

By your family.

They don't care.

Okay.

All right.

Poppy eats cucumber, but this cucumber I grew is flavorless.

You know what I got to do next year?

Water it with prime.

Yeah, exactly.

And so, yeah.

So

this is the end of the growing season.

I'm going to harvest my big cucumbers.

And that's it.

That's it.

And that's it.

And then everything dies for the winter.

I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything about that.

I know you're supposed to

lay down

wood chips and stuff and put it to sleep.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And perhaps some birds.

Well, you know who who you know jake the snake would put you to sleep and then he would put a snake put a snake all over you yeah bruce the barber beefcake would cut your hair yeah everybody had to have kind of a fun thing after they they knocked you out after they killed you yeah after you're dead they would cut your hair you know sit on your face there was a guy that did that

yokozuna would sit on you when you were down in the ring but wouldn't yoko yokozuna wouldn't um put you to sleep with a

oh you'd wait until you were asleep in the ring that you'd had a long day, and then he comes over and sits on your chest.

Brutus beefcake did the sleeper hold.

Nope, you chop a guy.

He

did a slit in the guy's throat.

That's a sweeney totstyle.

And then he'd be like,

no, the ultimate

disrespect.

I'm going to cut his hair.

He was the only one who Vince McMahon allowed to do actual murders.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it was the contract they signed.

I also, last week, I went to go see a movie.

So I had a few things on my movie list of things I wanted to see.

One was

the substance.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And then I decided I don't want to see it too scary.

Yeah.

Is that Demi Moore?

Demi Moore and Margaret Qualey.

It seems gross and scared.

I like it.

The other one was Joker Foliate.

Oh, yes.

And I was like, oh,

people heard me talking about it last week on the show.

It's Gaga.

It's a musical.

Apparently, it's not really a musical.

But it's enough of a musical to put people off.

But apparently

people who liked Joker hate it.

People who didn't like Joker hate it.

It's an impossible movie to like.

Yeah, I think like I was saying last week, the fear with the original Joker is that a single shooter would

open fire.

And now it's like, who are they afraid would show up at this

like dance movement people or musical

people doing some kind of flash mob.

So, what I ended up seeing was this movie called Speak No Evil.

Yes.

Do you know this?

I haven't heard of it.

James McAvoy.

It's this

sequel to See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

Blith Richard Proud.

We went a different direction with this one.

It's a,

no, I saw it in the theater.

It had nudity.

Whoa.

I think Kevin Spacey's in it, too.

They starred in quite a few films together, and I loved them as a kid.

Yeah, they were the Silver Streak.

Another U.

Oh.

Stir Crazy.

Yeah.

Anyway, so this is not that.

Oh, shadow.

This is about

a family goes on a trip to Italy, and they meet this other family.

Oh, right.

And the other family is James the McAvoy, and they say, hey, when you're back in England, come visit us.

And so, you know, come have a week at our country house.

And so they do that.

And he's a scary guy.

He's a scary guy.

And it's very much in the

he's, but he's polite.

Like, nothing, things, things just don't add up about him.

Yeah.

But he's like a great host and he's so friendly.

And they're like, it makes you think, like, oh, am I an asshole for wanting to leave?

Like, he's being the nicest guy.

The whole movie, I've only seen the original, but the whole thing pivots on how politeness and letting somebody get away with things can mount and kind of, but just being like afraid to be like, I got to get out of here.

I don't like what's going on here and walking out there.

Everybody's too polite.

Yeah.

And I remember seeing the trailer and he's like weird with the other guys' family.

Yeah.

But also like in a way, like.

Part of it is like, oh, he's doing this because he cares.

He's like, oh, I'm not used to meeting someone who cares so much.

Yeah.

And

when I made the podcast,

Let's Make a Horror,

we talked to

a bunch of experts, and one of the expert advice was like, make a movie that ruins something.

Like Psycho ruined showers, Jaws ruined swimming at the beach.

And this rule.

What did Silence the Lamb?

Fava Beans, I guess.

There was Lambda on Famma Beans.

And this movie ruins like

going to someone's country house.

Like, I'm watching it and I'm like, oh, man, that would, like, I can empathize with the characters.

I'm like, oh, that would suck.

I would, I would do the same thing, but I would never get in this position.

I would never make a friend with someone on vacation.

No.

Yeah.

I would, if they ever wrote me a postcard later, I would ignore it.

Yeah.

Yeah,

when I saw the trailer, I was like, oh, this gives everything away.

If you watch the trailer and you watch the movie,

I mean, it gives it away, but it's all like,

it's kind of a cat and mouse.

Yeah.

Like,

you know, why aren't they leaving?

When will they leave?

And I read about the synopsis.

The ending is a very Americanized ending because the original is so bleak.

It is so bleak.

The ending of that is like shocking.

And the director was like, I don't know why they changed it.

I was like, I know why.

If that was the ending in America, nobody would have gone.

Oh, wow.

Anyway, check it out.

I liked it.

Yeah.

It wasn't a horror movie.

It's a

tense

thriller kind of thing.

Creepy.

And he's good.

That James McAvoy.

He's good.

He's playing a bad guy.

He's too buff.

He got very buff in this.

I love him.

He's too buff for that, like, that

glass, Mr.

Glass.

Was he buffing in that one?

Yeah, he was like crazy, shredded.

Yeah.

He looks like Russell Crowe.

He's so buff.

Yeah, yeah.

He's got a bud, you know?

It's a great thing to see.

We're very happy for him.

Yeah.

The workouts he's been doing are really paying off.

Good diet.

He's got, he just looks good, you know?

Who placed the wife in it?

Of the nice wife or the nice wife.

Mackenzie Davis.

is that her name i don't know who that is but she's from halt and catch fire

i think she's canadian shit well i should know who she is oh yeah and the the other and her husband very fair she's very fair very fair um and the husband is uh scoot mcnary

oh yeah okay nice um well uh I'll probably see it when it comes out on stream, Megan.

Yeah, oh no, you gotta.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

What's going on with you?

Well, speaking of like tense, upsetting movies and whatnot.

That's all you do, man.

I watched

Baby Reindeer.

Oh,

either of you ever see it?

No, it's a TV mini-series.

It's a mini-series.

On Netflix?

On Netflix.

It's British, and it's about a...

Man who's being stalked by a woman, and it's a true story.

And it's insane.

The story's insane.

And just one bunch of Emmys.

Yeah, it's really, really good.

The woman who plays the stalker is like...

Is it too scary for me?

It's it's it's not so much scary as it is like is it too many episodes for me?

I actually wanted more episodes by the end.

It was only like six six episodes, seven episodes.

Yeah, and it was it's great.

It was a one-man show that was turned into this

series.

The guy is so good in it.

The woman is so good in it.

But oh, man, it's a lot of emotional work in

this world he's created, and especially that you know that it came from original.

How do you feel about stalking?

Emotions.

Like, do you just want to be scared?

Yeah, I want something visceral.

You don't like having to put in the work.

No,

I want to be scared.

I want to be happy.

I want to be sad.

You don't want to explore yourself?

No.

Well, get a hand mirror.

Get a hand mirror.

I like that that was the only choice they were offered, a head mirror.

You could put a mirror from the hallway down on the floor and see what that.

Oh, sure.

Well, nowadays, you give the kids

an iPad.

Don't you go explore it with this iPad?

Put it on airplane mode.

But yeah,

to the point he got something like 4,000 messages from her that he logged and was part of.

In real life.

In real life.

Yeah.

And then

apparently the woman that was the inspiration for this has come forward with a lawsuit saying like he exaggerated.

I'm like, you want to call more attention to yourself?

Was she, did he mention her real name or anything?

So she's just telling on herself?

Yeah, she's telling on herself.

This is about me.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

And it's really not fair.

It's really.

Can you imagine watching halfway through an episode?

You're like, fuck, this is about me.

Oh, no.

God damn it.

I did that.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

This guy I'm obsessed with apparently made a show.

Maybe I'll watch it.

Maybe I'll wait.

I didn't realize I had that big impact on his life.

There's a, and I don't know if this is true, but I read that when Seinfeld came out, Costanza was the name of somebody Jerry knew from college, and he sued the show

and was unsuccessful.

But the guy who played or the Kramer was based on was successful.

He sued the show?

Yeah.

Oh, I thought he was friends with them.

They were, but then when they found out that he was just basically, they stole him as a character.

He was like, that's not.

And they had a different name for it.

He was Kessler, but no,

it just wasn't.

It just doesn't.

Annie Kramer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The name.

And the Bizarro Seinfeld.

Do you remember all their names?

Oh, that Gene is one of them.

Gene was George.

Was the mailman?

Oh, Milton or something like that.

I don't know, the mailman, but I think Jerry was Kevin.

Kevin, yeah.

And Kramer was Feldman?

Feldman.

Yeah.

And then, like,

have you ever seen this episode?

I don't know.

Is it like...

I remember the first season of Seinfeld was completely different, and Elaine wasn't in it.

That's right.

Yeah.

This was an episode where...

The first

episode had no Elaine.

Or the first season?

No Elaine.

Oh, quite a few episodes.

And then

Kramer had a dog.

Like, it was so different.

What?

Yeah.

It was, yeah, and Kramer wasn't like wacky at all.

He was just kind of this weird.

He was so sad.

Yeah, he's sad.

And he invited Jerry to his country home.

And oh, I don't want to tell you what goes from there.

It was a show about something at that point.

Well, now I have to open the list of episodes.

As soon as you you get to that grid on Wikipedia, you know you've gone too far in whatever it is you're doing.

Okay, Elaine is definitely in episode two.

Okay.

Okay.

There was Claire the waitress in the first episode.

Oh, right.

She was going to be

the female character was going to be a sassy waitress

at the diner.

Which they still had a pretty sassy waitress at the diner.

She gave George the finger.

Yeah.

I do like in the show that the diner diner they go to all the time they keep discovering new menu items because at one point george has clams casino

there's a couple of characters who are actors who came back as multiple characters there were there was the waitress who

uh is the one george asks out Oh, yeah.

And then tries to get fired, I think.

In the earlier episode, she's like the bad actress that Jerry's dating.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Anyways, quite a show with Baby Reindeer.

It's basically the same.

Both taken from true stories, you know?

Yeah.

And, you know,

Jerry was stalked all those years by Rochelle Rochelle.

And anyways, there's no good way to stalk.

Just don't do it.

If you think about stalking somebody.

Don't do it.

Yeah, don't do it.

You know what?

Channel that energy into something else.

Drink some prime, sit down, write your screenplay.

Drink some prime, eat an edible arrangement for breakfast every day.

You know what?

Yeah.

Channel it into your mini-series about a woman who stalks a guy.

Yeah, yeah.

From your side of things.

Where it's all like, you understand their motivation.

It's like, well, wouldn't you stalk this guy?

Oh, Stony says that he got 4,000 messages from her.

Yeah.

Are any of them just like, you know, a thumbs up to her

or like a smiley face?

Like, that's a whole message?

I think a whole message would be like they show some of them in the show, and some of them are very short

and they're always misspelled.

That's the thing.

Like, she misspells the same words over and over again.

So weird.

Because I think it autocorrects, and she just, like, keeps sending them out and sending them out.

And

Craham, I was like, I was about to ask you about your fucked up bruised hand.

You got chocolate.

Oh, chocolate.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

I'm covered in chocolate.

What a delicious twist.

That's stage two of the break.

Stage two, achieve.

Like listeners don't like hearing you eat on mic.

What about licking to my

hand?

They like licking your forearm.

And then also just sucking the melted chocolate off of the fabric of your sweater.

Well, that's going to come during the break.

That makes two of us.

Speaking of which, want to do some overheards?

No, let's do a bit of business.

Oh, let's do it a bit of business.

Well, it's time for a jumbotron.

This is where you can send a message to a loved one.

You can receive a message from a loved one.

Yeah.

Those are the two sides of it, usually.

I mean, the loved one is debatable.

Like, so you could send a message to someone you're indifferent about.

Yeah.

Hey, you can send 4,000 messages to a baby reindeer.

Oh, yeah.

At what point would we put our foot down?

I don't know.

Well,

I still haven't heard back from you, but here's another message.

I know you like this podcast.

And today's message is for Dean A

from Troy and Stefan, and it reads as such.

We want to wish Dean, Dean Arun, Dino Machino, Dino Two Times, a happy birthday.

The three of us have been friends since middle school.

We came up with three nicknames for them.

That's fun.

Since then, it's been decades of inside jokes, laughter, and thousands of music debates.

Who's better?

Bach or Beethoven?

Get at me in the chat.

The occasional argument and a shared love for SPY.

So, from Stefan, Troy, Graham, and Dave, keep on keeping on, buddy.

You rock, Dean.

You rock, Dean.

How old are you, Dean?

Yeah, Dean, how old are you?

Call me.

My phone number is 17.

Abdul, give them your number.

250-588-8798.

Get at me.

Send a nice message to Abdul.

Text a nice message saying, hey, hey, good job on the show.

Thanks for bringing that delicious thing and Graham Rusen's sweater.

Send me 4,000 messages and I'll make a mini-series.

Back to the overheards.

You got it.

This season on the Adventure zone, Abnibles.

Get ready for a brand new crime-fighting trio here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City.

Featuring Justin McElroy as Axolisle, the firefighting axolato.

Clint McElroy as Roger Moore, the debonair cow of mystery.

Griffin McElroy as Navy Seal, the Ross Seal that has never served in the armed forces.

And Travis McElroy as every other slow critter in River City.

This swear-free Saturday morning cartoon-inspired story airs every Thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emily Fleming.

And I'm Jordan Morris.

We're real comedy writers.

And real friends.

And real cheapskates.

We say, why subscribe to expensive streaming services when you can stream tons of insane movies online for free?

Yeah, as long as you're fine with 25 randomly inserted, super loud car insurance commercials.

On our podcast, Free with Ads, we review streaming movies from the darkest corner of the internet's bargain bin.

From the good to the weird to the holy, look at Van Dam's big old butt.

Free with Ads, a free podcast about free movies that's worth the price of admission.

Every Tuesday on maximumfund.org or your favorite pod spot.

Overheard, overheard.

Overheards.

Where if you hear it, we want to hear it too.

It's only fair.

And we like to start with the guest.

Abdul, do you have an overheard?

I have a couple.

We can try them.

And if they're not good, then you can snip out the ones that you can see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just give me more work.

So I have an overheard in the category of things, or kids say the darndest thing.

They do.

About my son, Khalil.

Okay.

Because

he came home one day and he was like, what does it mean when someone has a crush on you?

Because someone had told him that this girl in his school had a crush on him.

Okay.

So

we were just like, oh, it just means someone likes you a lot.

And then the next day when I dropped him off, I saw her, like, they were standing in line waiting to go inside.

And I saw her skip two places in line.

to like stand next to him.

She was very cute.

Very cute.

And then they were talking and then she was like, oh, look what I can do.

And then she did this dance move that was her like jackknifing her legs straight up in the air.

Okay, yeah, that's cool.

Classic boy move.

He was like, I can do that too.

Like zero empathy.

And then he proceeded to pick up his leg and lick the bottom of his shoe.

Just fully watched him kill that crush because she moved two spaces back.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Now that my crush has licked his own foot.

foot.

And then I saw immediately all the boys around him started trying to lick the bottom of their shoe.

I got a whole bunch of new crushes.

How did this trend start?

Well, it was love.

Love is the seed that bloomed.

I remember having to line up to go in school.

As soon as he said that, I was like, oh, yeah, we had to line up.

Yeah.

Line up for the opposite of a fun lineup, like lining up for a movie or a club.

Right.

Lining up for something that was bad on the other end.

Oh my God, I'm going to get in so much trouble today.

I don't even know why.

It's a new thing every day.

Something's going to happen.

I'm going to get in trouble.

I don't remember.

Well, I lined up inside

in elementary school, like lining up outside the classroom.

But my kids line up outside.

But I don't know if that's just a post-COVID thing.

Anyway, Dave, do you have an over?

Yeah, not really.

Mine's an overseen.

I was driving yesterday, and I went past this business

that just had the weirdest wording on the sign.

And it says, European body wrap, spray and lose 15 minutes, lose two to four inches.

Like, this is

a good place to lose 15 minutes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's 15 minutes I'm never going to get back.

Yeah.

Also, that spray.

Yeah.

After I got wrapped and sprayed by a European.

So yeah,

I'm tempted.

I got the time.

Yeah.

And you like a spray?

And I, you know, boy, I can't afford to lose two to four inches, though.

Maybe bring in one of those cucumbers and see how that's going to go.

Yeah, see how that goes.

My overheard comes courtesy of two gals talking on a bench, and one was talking just on her phone.

The other friend was just sitting there, not really a main character in this overheard, but she was saying it to the phone and her friend that she said, he thinks he's the coolest piece of shit in the world.

Just it says, hey, like the coolest shit in the world.

Yeah.

He thinks he's the coolest turd.

Yeah, well, you know what?

He probably is.

If you're chatting about him in your off hours, he's probably the king of shit.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

I wish people were talking about me right now.

Yeah, they probably are.

Oh, man.

Talk about me.

Hey, Dave, he's the coolest.

He started drinking Prime, so he's like healthier than ever.

He's getting a lot of energy.

He's drinking so many of them a day, no matter what the liberal says.

No matter what my pregnancy test says.

My favorite weird warning is on Febreze, and it said, as with many products, do not spray around birds.

As with many products.

What else?

Yeah,

it's from just us that are killing birds.

Yeah, exactly.

Don't put it all on us.

There's other things that kill birds.

Speaking of Hitchcock movies, if only she'd had some Febreze in the birds.

Now, we also have Overheard sent in to us by people all over the map.

If you want to send one in, send it to SBY at maximumfun.org.

And this first one comes from Keegan from Halifax.

I finished my prime.

How do you feel?

Younger?

I feel like I want to.

You look a little bit, yeah, you got a glow to it.

I feel like I want to fight Mike Tyson.

I want to visit a controversial Japanese forest.

Yeah, I guess that's two things he could say he did in his life.

I don't know if it's the same brother.

Ah, who cares?

Interchangeable.

Yeah.

This is two women.

When's that Mike Tyson thing happening?

Oh, anytime now.

I thought it was supposed to have happened by now.

Did I miss it?

No, he got sick.

And so he had to not do the match because he got liver or some kind of infection.

So it's

Mike Tyson?

Mike Tyson.

He shouldn't be doing this.

And everybody who knows him inner circle is saying, don't do this.

Really?

Yeah, because he's like in his 60s.

I know, but I still think he could kill

the Paul's.

I mean, I feel like that's why I buy Prime because I was on a walk with Aaron Reid one time, and and he was like, why are you buying Prime and supporting this terrible group of people?

And I was like, because every dollar that goes to Prime goes to a cage match between Mike Tyson and one of the ball bros.

I like that you think it's a cage match.

So two women at this airport in Winnipeg, two women are sitting next to me.

Woman one, my tongue hurts.

Woman two, your tongue hurts?

Woman one sticks tongue out as far as she can in hopes of being able to see it.

Woman two, from what?

Woman one, probably not enough sleep.

Tongue pain?

Tongue pain.

I'm looking it up on WebMD.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not getting enough sleep.

Yeah, I uh do you ever have that where you eat something really spicy and then like you realize that there's your tongue is more sensitive than you thought.

This happens to me very often where I eat something that's like medium spicy and the rest of my mouth is fine, but the tongue's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Do you ever fall asleep with your mouth open and wake up and your mouth is so dry?

And then, when you replenish the liquid in it, it feels so good.

Yeah, that's why I keep a prime next to my bed.

I mostly

have my mouth closed, I think.

But occasionally, like if you're sleeping in a weird position,

doggy style.

That's the weirdest part.

Sleeping, doggy style.

It's where you sleep.

You're a weird position to sleep, sir.

You circle the bed three times.

That's what you're doing.

And then you dream you're running.

Look at him.

Your face is twitching.

This next one comes from Matt in Brooklyn.

I was at a grungy bar in a hip neighborhood in Brooklyn, and an older, scruffy hipster, maybe late 40s, is on a date.

Only overheard snippets, but the two best ones were Daniel Plainview is a toned-down version of my grandpa.

Yikes.

Okay.

And I'm sorry my $2 million trust fund isn't impressive to you.

You know who he's on a date with.

Shouldn't hire Twain.

Oh, sure.

So you don't get impressed by you.

Sorry, you've got $2 million.

Yeah.

That don't impress me very much.

You know what?

It impresses me that this guy in Brooklyn has $2 million?

Fucking rad, man.

That's good for you.

Yeah.

Take the time to enjoy it.

You know, you've got $2 million.

You can do all sorts of cool stuff with $2 million.

Was it a first date?

I don't know.

I wasn't invited.

Oh, damn.

That's horrendous.

Yeah.

Oh, I watched a first date.

I was on a patio, and the table next to us was a first date.

Whoo, that guy was not letting her say a GD thing.

He was really monologuing it.

I was like, boy, this has to be a first date.

I mean, when I'm on a first date with a woman, I always let her say something.

After I say, so what do you bring to the table?

Then you lean back and put your glasses on.

I got a $2 million trust fund.

My grandfather's Daniel Plainview.

What are you going to do about it?

Mike Tyson and Jake Paul's fight is set for November 15th.

Oh, four days after Remembrance Day.

That's all I remember it.

Remembrance Day plus four.

Okay.

Remember, remember the 15th of November.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, there you go.

I got it.

It'll be the American Guy Fox Day.

Uh-huh.

American Guy Fox.

I thought you.

Guy, Richie Faye.

I thought you were getting American dad and family guy mixed up when you said American guy.

This last one comes from Tana R.

This is a visual.

At my local Safeway looking for ginger beer, I saw a guy grab a bottle of wine off the shelf and start skipping down the aisle past me.

We're having fun.

I hope you got that ginger beer.

Wine in Safeway?

Is that what you're doing?

Yeah, do they do wine?

They have non-alcoholic wine there.

Where was he writing from?

He didn't say.

Oh, because there's Safeway in America.

Find his IP address.

We'll tell you where it is.

Yeah.

So, Graham, all you have to do is find his IP address, and Abdul will do the rest.

Dear Tanner, if you could really help me out of a bind here.

Because, yeah, that's.

Why do I keep drinking this?

Something about it.

It is something about it.

It really does start to destroy the back of your throat.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It definitely tastes like

eating nerds or something in your childhood.

It's just like concentrated sugar, but it's only got $2.

Well, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone call.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh, SpyPod 1, like these people have.

Hey, Dave, Graham, and guest.

This is Rob from Ann Arbor, Michigan, calling in with an overheard.

We have the University of Michigan here.

So I was waiting in line to pick up food, and there was a group of college boys who were waiting behind me.

And one of them said to the others, have you guys seen the movie American Pie?

And the other kids were like, no, no, I haven't seen it.

And he said, well, you've got to watch it because one of the guys in my frat

actually wrote the movie and sold it to the guys who made it.

And the other kids were like, no way.

And the first guy was like, yeah.

And there's a character in it that they call Stiffler's mom.

And I don't want to spoil anything, but he was not too happy when the movie came out.

Off I go.

Thank you.

This is baby reindeer all over again.

They should have called him Kramer's mom.

They didn't want to get sued.

And let me tell you, this did not work out well for her.

Now, what was the Middle Eastern version of American Pie?

Middle Eastern pie.

infidel pie

and then it was just an hour and a half of the Muslim call to prayer

oh wow I saw a guy

who I was he parked his he was like looking underneath his

Toyota Prius and I was like oh something's wrong with that guy's car he's down on his knees he was praying in the middle of the street oh yeah and I you gotta yeah I got my phone out and I was like, oh, is he facing it?

Oh, he's facing Mecca.

Like, you can on Google, you can find where it is.

That's true.

Yeah.

You can just Google where is Mecca.

There's like a thing that you just have to ask a guy at a gas station, hey, which way to Mecca?

There's a thing that uses your camera and you, it'll, like, wherever you're, it'll show you where to point your camera.

That's awesome.

Yeah, that is good use of technology.

Yeah.

Finding Mecca.

It was really hard to find Mecca.

It was hard to find hiding way over there.

Just text in in the air pool.

I mean, finding Mecca, looking for comedy in the Muslim world.

These are all things we're doing.

Here's your next phone call.

Yo, it's Michael

local Vancouver overheard.

So I was walking and I was behind like a man and a woman.

And the man says to the woman, he says going to the effect of like, so did you like pause and enhance and analyze and zoom and all that stuff?

And the lady said, not yet, but now that I know where to see his penis, oh, yeah.

Okay, that's it.

I love you.

It's in a pie.

You see, you got to zoom in and it's in a pie is where it's

so funny to hear people discover a thing that was part of your

oh, you're back on American Pie?

Yeah.

I was just thinking about it.

Like, have you guys heard of this?

No.

Are you kidding?

It's the greatest thing in the world.

It was all we could talk about.

For me, it never worked.

Like, the concept, I was like, didn't hold together.

It's like, what?

It's going to fall apart right away.

Yeah.

And yet, it made five of them, I think.

You mean the pie, though?

The pie, I mean.

Oh, the pie.

I thought you meant the series.

No, the series of a bunch of friends trying to lose their virginity.

That's fine.

What do you think would be the most, I'm going to say it, fuckable pie?

Mmm cobbler.

Oh, a cobbler, yeah.

That would hold the shape pretty well.

Cobbler.

By definition, not a pie.

The most lascivious you've ever been, I think.

I'm thinking about having sex with a key lime pie.

So it's got to be chilled, though.

Yeah, that's what I like about it.

Like, it feels good.

I think in the movie, they even say it's like warm America.

Warm Aval Pie.

But there's one freak who's like, ah, cold.

Yeah.

From a diner that's been sitting in the display case all day.

Give me your coldest pie.

Well, we wish them the best.

Yeah.

Boy, I guess I would go with chicken pot.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Greasy.

So hot.

So hot inside.

But hearty, it really sticks to your ribs

for your pleasure.

No, for her ribs for her pleasure.

Okay.

Hey, what up?

What up?

This is Mitch She from San Antonio, Texas, coming in with a spooky Halloween overheard.

I was at Target in the Halloween part, and I overheard a teen girl say confidently,

snakes don't have a skeleton.

They do too.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah.

Freaking scary skeleton.

It's a scary skeleton for sure.

Spooky scary skeleton.

Well, it is the time of year.

Oh, yeah, snake skeleton.

Maybe this year, instead of going as a skeleton, go as a snake skeleton.

Oh, yeah.

Goes along, long and loose, and weird-looking ribs, probably.

I don't know.

Well, that brings us to the end of this episode.

Abdul, thank you so much for being our guest and for bringing such delicious treats.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me and shouldering the burden of all the things that I will leave here.

Man, oh man, I'll tell you.

Got to get this prime.

It's starting to

condensation happening on it.

Get these in the fridge, ASAP.

Yeah.

Do you remember when Virgin Cola put out the Pammy bottle that was supposed to look like Pamela Anderson's?

It was Pamela Anderson's measurements.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Woof.

Yay, man, Richard Branson.

He's never been wrong.

Changed my pie.

I changed my pie to that.

American bottle.

Um,

so people, if they want to find your podcast, Spout Lore, Spout Lore is the first one, but I would recommend starting with Maul Brats.

Yeah, it's brand new, it's brand new, uh, it's got like a nice 80s soundtrack to it, it's like super nostalgic, like mall vibes.

Um, and yeah, it's like if uh Gangs of New York featured a bunch of like uh grubby orphans in the West Edmonton Mall.

It's a lot of fun.

I love it.

I love it.

Um, And remember not to be, you know, too, too friendly to a group of kids because you never know.

They're going to lure you in.

It's, you know what I mean?

Try and sell you candy.

Try and sell you candy.

Exactly.

Cookies, maybe.

And thank you, everybody out there, for listening.

You know what?

Try an edible arrangement.

We're not doing ads for them, but edible.com, check it out.

Thanks for listening and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.