Episode 865 - Niki Mohrdar

Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 865 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who, for this first time in the second half of the year, he's not wearing shorts anymore.

Boys, he's wearing pants.

It's Dave Shubka.

I've been wearing pants the whole.

I don't know.

I'm back in denim, falling to the gap.

Everybody in denim.

How many pairs of jeans do you own?

Ooh.

Didn't know I was going to put you on this jean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, Graham, I, uh,

about 10 years ago, maybe 15 years ago, I started buying raw denim jeans.

Raw denim, yeah.

And they look so dark and,

you know, fancy.

You're like, oh, these are fancy jeans.

But the good thing about them is they get they get fade.

They fade.

They like mold to your body.

And then you get like a fade of like where your phone is in your pocket.

Oh, yeah.

Are these a pair of them?

I love that.

Yeah, they're pretty new.

Okay.

And then, you know, your circular chaw container in your back pocket.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

Dave, famously in the follow, so choose chaw.

And my, uh, you know, your knife in your other pocket.

Who are you?

i don't even know this first

the blood stains coming down because you have a knife in your pocket um and then uh but so as one of those starts getting uh discolored getting its fades then i'll buy a new pair okay but i like the fades and then i will um

and yeah i don't throw jeans away so if they get a hole in them i patch them up so i think i probably have 11 or 12 pairs of jeans 11 or 12 wow and they're some i don't even some i didn't even take out that's like something i would expect like a rock and roller to have 11 or 12 pairs of jeans.

Um, maybe it's eight or nine.

Okay, all right.

Let's get our guest away on us.

Uh, first time guest here to the podcast, very funny comedian.

One-third of the podcast saw for us.

It's Nikki Bordar, everybody.

Hello.

Hello.

Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for having me.

I'm so excited to be here.

Weigh in on this jeans controversy.

Oh, man.

How many do you own?

I don't know, three, probably.

Yeah, that's good.

Okay, I have a question for you.

Do you wash your jeans?

Yeah, that's a good question.

These have never been washed.

These are, I bought them last, I bought them maybe in January.

Okay.

The,

I, when they start to smell bad, I wash them.

Okay.

Yeah, that makes sense.

And how long is that?

How long is that?

Well, I don't, because I have so, and I don't just wear jeans.

Right.

Yeah, I wear chinos, I wear corduroys.

You wear corduroys, absolutely.

And then, um, so I.

Hiding pants, heels are weird.

I wear my jaw purse.

Yeah.

Parachute pants.

And so because I will rotate out how many jeans I'm wearing, they don't get smelly.

They don't get funky really fast because, you know, I'm not wearing them seven days a week.

Right.

So.

Well, let's get to know us.

Get to know us.

I feel like we got to know me.

We got to know you very well.

Also, it is, I'm wearing a flannel shirt.

I'm sweating.

He's sweating.

Dave's sweating.

I feel the perfect temperature.

Me too.

I also feel it.

I'm putting on the air conditioning.

It's October 3rd.

What is

shirt?

Nikki, how many pairs of jeans do you own?

Okay, I was thinking about this the entire time.

Thank you so much for asking.

I think I own

three pairs of jeans, but I think only one of them is real denim.

Okay.

What else?

Everything else like jeggings.

Jeggings.

Painted on.

Exactly.

No, because those are my Levi's.

Yeah.

And those have to be real, right?

Oh, yeah.

You got your Levi's 501 blues.

Yes, exactly.

Whatever that means.

That was a big campaign in the 80s.

Oh, okay.

You remember the 80s?

Yeah.

Like it was yesterday.

Yeah, I think I own three total.

What are the other two that aren't Levi's?

Random, Thrift Store Find, and then Uniqlo.

Oh, Uniqlo?

Uniqlo.

Do they have a little stretch in them, those Uniqlo?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I like a jean with a little stretch built in.

I think they can be denim and

stretchy, and you can still call them denim.

Okay.

That's what I'm wearing right now.

Denim and stretchy.

And you know what?

I feel great, you guys.

I feel great.

Not too tight.

Not too loose.

It is jarring putting on jeans after the first, like the first time you're putting them back on after summer.

Or after you wash them.

Like when they, because they shrink a little bit when you wash them.

And you're like, if they don't have stretch in them, then they're real tight.

But then, ooh, they mold to your body soon.

You're getting these fades.

Yeah, during the summer I wear cut-off jean shorts.

And then down below my knee, I wear the rest of the jeans just so I've got a nice middle area that gets cool.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta.

I'm just

pardon me if I tune out here for the next minute.

I'm gonna do an unofficial gene count.

Okay.

Wilder, Hackman,

the dancing machine.

You are

host of a podcast this year on the Georgia Strait Polls of a favorite Vancouver Things, number three.

Yes.

We narrowly beat you out.

And we were trounced by past guest Amy Goodmurphy's

Poor Little Things, I think it's and Brian Steele, past guest.

It's Brian Steele as well.

And

Ryan, and

Brian, Ryan.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

How'd you pull this off?

I don't know.

I feel like we rigged it or something because

I think I'm at nine.

I think I'm at nine past mine.

Nine.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, you were counting the amount of jeans.

I thought you were going back and counting how many times we said the word jeans.

What kind of rain man do you think I am?

You're You're a bit of rain man.

You got a little touch of rain man in you.

Um, yeah, did you did you get the your your listeners to vote or did they just happen organically?

Oh, we we did post about our listeners voting, but I think we have like a hundred and something followers on Instagram.

So I do think it was our friends and family that really pushed it.

That's great.

Should we get an Instagram?

Uh

sure.

What will we take pictures of?

This

your jeans, I guess.

You get a line of all your jeans.

You take a picture

Okay, follow us on Instagram.

Well, we'll put the

link in the thing.

Probably add stop podcasting yourself.

Maybe.

If you've been able to survive without an Instagram, I suggest you don't get an Instagram.

I know, but we have a Twitter, and I hate it.

Yeah,

the Twitter's starting to get annoying.

It's a miserable place on their X or whatever.

Yeah.

We have a Facebook, and that's Jumpin'.

It's jumping, jive, and whaling.

You fall into the gap.

It was a Discord before there was Discord.

Yeah, yeah.

But you have a Discord?

No, we don't have a Discord.

But then when I go to Facebook, I'll go to our Facebook group and it's great.

And then I'll stay on Facebook and it's garbage.

It's just

weird AI pictures.

Yeah,

I just keep track of like old friends and stuff that I'm not connected to any other way.

Yeah.

That's what I'm using Facebook for.

And you know what?

The class of 98, they're doing great.

Everybody from the class?

Fantastic.

Yeah.

Hey, guys, you remember that Green Day song about our graduation?

No murderers?

No murderers.

So there you go.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, wow.

That's, well, there must be at least one.

Or how many people did you graduate?

There's deaths.

Lots.

Oh, yeah, there's deaths, but I'm talking straight up murder or murderer.

I don't know.

Maybe there was a murderer that went to my school.

Or there's time.

One could be brewing.

Yeah, also one could be...

You know, apparently there's something like 10,000 active serial killers.

Oh, no, wait, the valid Victorian did kill a guy.

That's right.

Now I'm reminding.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The valid Victorian.

He killed a chemistry teacher

at the graduation.

I blocked that out.

But it was rolled manslaughter.

Yeah, that's exactly what he got away with.

No one on my Facebook is updating their Facebook anymore to a fault.

Like my ex-boyfriend got married.

There is no posts about it anywhere.

On his Facebook, on his parents' Facebook, on his Facebook.

And it bothers you because you wanted to.

Because I need to know who she is.

Oh, sure.

You don't even know who she is?

No.

You just know he got married to someone.

Yeah.

How'd you find that out?

Well, once a year we catch up.

And he told me in our once-a-year catch.

Oh, it's not over.

That's right.

He was thinking about that one-year catch-up as he was saying I do.

Know how often I catch up with my exes?

Never.

All my exes turned out to be murderers, so that's why I keep my distance.

I do a one-year ketchup when I clean out my condiments every year.

Marry the ketchups.

You marry the mustards as well?

You keep them separate.

Yeah, I keep them separate because there are different religions.

Swedish and North American.

You went to school.

Do you grow up here in Vancouver?

I grew up in North Vancouver.

North Vancouver.

Yeah.

North.

What school?

Seacove Secondary School.

Never heard of it.

What about this guy?

You went to what school?

Titolano.

Titzolano.

Another corner crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like North Vancouver was its own

thing in the sense that I didn't really understand what Vancouver was like until I moved back after

doing school on the East Coast.

Because I just thought everything was like North Vancouver, and then I was pleasantly surprised.

There's a whole other world.

Yeah.

Everything is kind of like North Vancouver.

Kind of, but I.

People wear core-tex.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People look behind.

It's steep there, though.

Ooh, those streets.

Lots of of hills.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, your calves good.

They're all right.

Your family's calves good.

You come from good calf stock.

Did you learn to drive on those streets?

I still don't know how to drive on those streets.

This is that generation.

Is it?

Is it a common thing?

Oh, okay, cool.

What's what generation?

Women.

I am of that generation.

Yeah.

Have you ever, have you ever driven?

Like even in a parking lot or anything like that?

Once.

Once.

Yeah.

And I got the accelerate and the brake mixed up and my mom was like, you have to take lessons.

I'm not teaching you this.

Fair.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I took lessons.

I took lessons as well after my parents tried to show me and they're like, we're paying for lessons.

This is not going well at all.

They're expensive though.

Yeah.

And then you have to take the test, which I failed twice.

Yeah.

But in Alberta, it's really easy because there's no parallel parking.

My wife grew up in Switzerland.

Okay.

And apparently, if you fail the test three times there, you have to take a psychiatric evaluation.

That's hilarious.

And she didn't get her license until she moved here.

Actually, until we had children.

That's right.

Yeah, I have friends that don't have driver's licenses.

I hate it.

I want to have it.

It's very embarrassing.

I do think once I get my driver's license, and I will get my driver's license, that I will just never be around.

And I also think I will be spending so much more money.

What do you mean, never be around?

Like, I think I'm just going to be going on small trips all the time.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I didn't have a car for a long, long time, and then I got my mom's car.

Right.

And

my wife, who

she didn't know how to drive, learned, loves it.

She loves driving.

Yeah.

So you might learn.

And then what have I been missing out on my whole life?

I think that's going to be the case.

It's pure laziness.

Like before I was like, oh, I don't need a car in the city.

It's fine.

And no, I'm admitting to myself that it's pure laziness of not getting my license.

So, what do you do instead?

Evo?

You do it.

You can't Evo without a license.

What am I even talking about?

You oobs, you take the bus with Oobs.

You stepped out of an Oobs this morning.

I stepped out of an Oobs this morning.

I did.

And then also.

Step out the Oobs at LAX.

That's pretty good.

It's a bad party in the USA, but you're leaving LA.

And then also, unfortunately, my boyfriend drives me around.

Aha, the X Factor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he's not the X Factor.

The X Factor is who she contacts once a year.

Tell me about this bitch.

What is.

How long have you been with this young man?

It'll be seven years in December.

He's been driving for seven years?

Yeah.

You know what?

You'll get your license.

He'll probably miss it.

He'll be like, oh, I remember when I could drive Naked Round everywhere.

Maybe, maybe.

So you have a boyfriend from over seven years ago that you contact once a year?

Yes, yeah.

Well, he was the first boyfriend that I ever had.

And we, all of our friends from our childhood are mutual friends.

Right.

Oh, right.

So we have the same group.

So usually something will happen on one of our stories and someone will respond and they'll just go, how's life?

And then that'll be that.

Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Yeah.

I think so too.

Yeah.

I think it's better to have a positive relationship with your ex than to have a really negative, like, we don't talk, and I would never even say hi to you in public, sort of.

Yeah.

Oh, sure.

Do you

like, I feel like

I'm just imagining what I would do if I saw my exes in public.

What the hell?

What are you doing?

You're fucking doing it.

You're a claim.

What are you doing here?

We had a deal.

You'd stay out of the YBR area.

Yeah, I.

You stepped back in that oops.

Do you have a like I feel like as an adult, I got a better sense of what I was like as a teenager from having kind of like extended relationships back then?

Do you find that same thing where you're like, this is how I remembered being in high school, but this is how other people remember me?

Do you have any of that?

Are you pretty like down the line?

No, I mean, yeah, I guess so.

I'm still friends with all of my high school friends.

I think that's pretty common for people in Vancouver, no?

Yeah.

I mean,

yeah.

I think, yeah.

It's hard for me to say I'm not friends with anyone.

Even my new friends, I'm not friends with.

I'll catch up with them once a year.

Yeah.

To find friends.

Well, that's cool.

Yeah.

I'm still friends with all of them.

So they really remind me of like the person that I was.

But yeah, I think like.

Who were you?

Yeah.

Who were you?

Are you a straight A student?

No, I was not a straight A.

I was actually looking at my old report cards recently because my mom was like cleaning out her storage thing.

And I was like, oh, I was way dumber than I thought I was.

Oh, really?

Way dumber than I thought.

There was a lot of C pluses.

Okay.

Well, C plus, that gets you over the line.

Yeah.

I got a lot of C pluses too, by the way.

I wasn't dumber.

My teachers were committed to the fact that I just didn't try hard enough.

David only applied himself.

I was applying myself and getting C pluses.

It's embarrassing.

Did you ever have a tutor?

I had to go to a tutor.

For what?

What subject?

Math.

Yeah, same.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I couldn't wrap my head around it.

No, me neither.

I was fine.

I was okay at it until I hit grade 10.

Then

completely in the weeds.

Didn't know how to do anything.

Yeah.

Calculus showed up.

Algebra showed up.

Yeah.

Geometry, all of it.

Physics as well.

I know that's a separate subject.

Can't wrap my head around any

number equals this.

I had a problem with algebra because of all my X's.

I was like, your X equals what?

No, no, no.

I'll check in.

Oh, I'm so worried that this this is going to be the theme of my episode is X's.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Yeah.

Well, but you pick a theme.

Yeah, what would you like to do?

We don't usually decide on the theme until a little later, but.

Math.

I'd like math to be my theme.

Wood, do you remember who your

last math teacher was?

Your ex-math teacher?

Because when he recently died.

Oh, no.

Yes, I saw his obituary.

Yes.

By your valedictorian.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, he went on a murder show.

He was the teacher killer.

That's the teacher strangler.

Yeah,

that's weird.

I don't know.

I guess some of my teachers probably did pass away.

And I haven't seen.

Yeah.

It's really upsetting.

He was this Eastern European man, very heavy accent, and he would always get mad at me for talking.

And without even turning around, like still be on the chalkboard and be like, Nikki, you can walk to Lord of the Lord of the Rings, London Drugs, buy yourself some scotch tape and just put it right over your mouth.

And I always

really appreciated his commitment to saying the full thing.

London Drugs.

Spice of tape.

Put it on your mouth.

Tell the Lord of the Rings.

Most of that movie is walking in Paris, you know?

Most of the Lord of the Rings.

What's your last name?

Mordor.

Is that from Lord of the Rings?

I mean, that's Mordor.

I mean,

I don't really know it.

So I was like, that's pretty good for me.

That is pretty good for Dave.

It was a Freudian slip, I guess.

Yeah, that's fine if you're thinking about Lord of the Rings.

We won't talk about that for a while.

Freudian slip.

It's your last name.

You must be thinking about Lord of the Rings all the time.

All the time, yeah.

You know, it was a really funny fireside comic is where Sigmund Freud is sliding into home base and it says Freudian slide.

That was a good one.

Anyways,

Nikki.

Where did you go to university?

You went over to the other side of Canada, I guess.

Education podcast.

Yes.

I went to Montreal.

I went to Concordia.

What was Montreal like?

I loved it.

If I could live there always, I would, but I've heard you need to speak French.

Oh, you never picked it up while you were there?

I did a little bit because I studied journalism and they assumed that if you study journalism here, you're going to stay here and be a journalist.

Right.

Which I obviously did not do.

So I had to take a certain level of French, but I didn't retain any of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dave also, you did some

curricular.

See if if you guys could talk to each other.

Oh, desolate.

Good work, you guys.

How come you had to learn?

I did French immersion.

Oh, okay.

So that you probably remember.

Yeah, but I only know enough to make fun of it.

Right.

Yeah.

Fair enough.

Do one more round.

They taught us like these catchphrases that apparently are like quite obsolete in the French language, like

monnieux or something like that, which is like something that people don't even say anymore.

But I remember like going and trying and talking casually with French people, and they were like, no, you sound like an old-timey woman.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah,

you weren't up on the modern phrase.

That would be great if, like, if you went to an English class and you found out they were teaching like ESL students like 23 skinoo.

Yeah, exactly.

Look at that knickerbocker over there.

You were going to be a journalist?

Yeah, that was my goal.

I worked for like the morning show at CTV for a summer, which was probably like the closest I got to actually experiencing daily journalistic life.

But then, no, I never was able to secure a job in journalism.

Has anyone been able to?

I don't know.

Arianna Huffington, she seemed to do pretty well.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Did you want to be like newspaper, TV, movies?

TV for sure.

I think that was just me wanting to be in the entertainment industry and just not knowing it, you know?

Right.

Yeah.

You had to pick something to do after school.

Yes, exactly.

I have noticed that so many comedians, like they all studied drama and theater and

all that stuff.

And yeah, no, journalism.

I don't know if it helps me in any way as a comedian.

Well, probably.

I mean, at least you've got like an inquisitive mind, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I was deciding where to go to school, I didn't know in Toronto there was a whole stand-up comedy course out of college there, which still exists.

And a lot of people you know from doing comedy in Canada went through that program.

What's it?

Ryerson?

Humble.

Humble.

Yeah.

Humber.

Humber.

Humber, Humber.

Humber.

Humber.

And yeah, if I had known that, that's where I would have gone.

And here's what they teach you.

How to make soup in a coffee maker.

They do teach you how to make soup in a coffee maker if you're a traveling comedian and you need to save money.

Possibly grilled cheese on the ironing board if you're fine ruining the iron board.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I mean, what do they do if the hotel has a cure ink machine?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You got to put your soup through the pod, consummate pod.

Are there any comics that I would know who have gone through this program?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

It's like, it's been around for a long time.

I'm like,

you know, there's a lot of people's entryway into doing comic.

Yeah.

Was like.

Yeah.

I know it's very controversial and people are always like, you shouldn't do a class to do stand-up.

But I did it, I did a course at Second City, and I don't know, it motivated me to write.

And I probably wouldn't have started had I not had someone who was like, you need to be writing every single day.

And

I don't know.

I think people give it a hard time, but I think it can be useful for some.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

I think people, like, a lot of people just don't know.

You can

they feel like they need a license to go on stage in some way.

Yeah.

Like, what are these shows?

How do they happen?

Yeah.

How do I get on?

Oh, and that was the thing.

Starting out, did you have to go on like show up, go up kind of shows?

Oh, for sure.

Yeah.

Did you like, because when I was doing that, there was

old, old, old, old yuck yucks, and you had to show up and there was no signing up.

It's just you sat there in a pod and then somebody came over and went, you, you, you, and you.

Everybody else, see you next week.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

And so there's no rhyme or reason to, although there was a guy named Jose Garza.

And, oh, did he do well?

He was a favorite of the Yuck Yucks Club.

Went up every week that Jose Garza.

Don't know what he happened.

Like, I don't know where he ended up.

Maybe, maybe he still didn't stand up somewhere else.

I don't know.

That's crazy.

Also, I feel like that's a really good way to create enemies.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also just a really efficient way of ruining a whole evening.

Oh, for sure.

But also, just doing a stand-up show is a good way to ruin a a lot of

man.

I frequently think that, like, when I see a full sold-out show, I'm like, I can't, who tricked you guys into being?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You have the opposite of imposter syndrome.

They're the imposter.

Yeah.

No, that's not the opposite of imposter syndrome.

This is an adoring crowd.

I don't deserve them.

I always feel like if I have a dory crowd, that's fine.

I don't, you know, I don't have, I'm not selling out Radio City Music.

Hallelujah.

I'd probably be like, you're a fake.

But, you know, at this level, I'm like, you're fine.

I just can't believe that anyone is wanting to spend their free night watching comedians they don't know.

I'm not, and I'm very grateful.

I'm very grateful.

I 100% agree.

Like, I used to do stand-up, and then towards the end, I was like, how am I supposed to relate to these people when I don't understand what brought them here?

The thing I think most people who are going to see comedy, especially in a club, are seeing it the same way they would go bowling.

Like, once a year, it's a fun fun thing to get your friends together.

We'll go to the comedy club.

We'll have drinks after.

You will

rent shoes.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You'll rent shoes to go to the comedy club.

But yeah, I think it's like an event.

I don't think people, because I think people just go to the comedy club.

Right.

They don't, you know, they go to the theater for somebody they know, you know?

Right.

Yeah.

What's the, what is the first stand-up comedy show you ever saw?

That I ever saw.

Oh, I saw Dane Cook performed really rogers oh with my brother

wow yeah

how is that i've never been to an arena comedy show so i have no idea i mean it was my first time ever seeing comedy and he was also like the only comedian that i

really listened to consistently because someone had made this series on youtube where they had taken his stand-up and put like animation in front of it

and so it was more engaging than listening to like an album and uh i just really thought he was so funny And then I had a great time.

Maybe if I watched it now, I would be like, this is bad.

He was funny.

He was funny.

He got a bad name because he was like, I don't know.

He got, it's because he got his popularity through

MySpace, which at the time people were like, that's cheating.

It's kind of the same way like the Oscars wouldn't allow Tron to be nominated because they were like, use computers.

That doesn't count.

Oh, really?

That doesn't count.

Yeah.

So it's that same kind of thing.

You use MySpace.

That doesn't count.

Or like TikTok.

A lot of people will be like, oh, they're just famous because they post crowd work clips on TikTok.

They're not actually funny.

But like, who cares?

People will buy tickets and not have a good time, and then you don't get your money back.

Well, at least that is like someone doing comedy.

Like

live comedy.

The weirdest is when someone is a TikTok.

or Instagram person who isn't, who just does videos by themselves and not in front of a crowd.

Yeah.

Right.

And then how's that going to translate to a live show?

Yeah.

It usually doesn't.

Yeah.

Have you been on a show where TikTok celebrities have been on or anybody like that?

Yeah.

How'd it go?

How'd it go for them?

I think they're like usually quite charming.

And so it looks, it seems like the audience is having fun.

But I don't know.

I hate being that judgmental comedian who's like, there's no punchlines.

There's no this or that.

I don't know.

I don't think that's rude of you to hope for punchlines for a comedy.

But if people are having fun and enjoying themselves, then like, who am I to yes, there you go?

Yeah.

But like, yeah, no, as a first-time comedian to be into, you do a lot worse than Dane Cook, I tell you.

Yeah, so true.

And as a,

you know, 18-year-old's wife, you could do a lot worse.

Doesn't he have a very young wife?

He's got a very young wife.

He's a very young.

Yeah.

And, you know, I wish them nothing but the best.

Yeah, he,

I remember when he was like huge, there was a story that he came to Vancouver.

He was shooting a movie here.

Good luck, Chuck.

Good luck, Chuck.

And he came down to what was, before the comedy mix was a yuck yucks.

Okay.

So he came down to do a set.

And do you even remember the comedy mix?

I wasn't around for the comedy mix.

Yeah, it's quite a few years since it's closed.

But

he, oh, I guess it was the comedy mix.

Anyways, he came down to do a set.

And the guy that was the manager at the time, like, didn't understand what that meant.

That this is like the most famous comedian in North America.

He had some great managers.

Some of the best.

Some really good at like hiding when it was time to pay you.

But he,

like, he, to him, it was ending the show on time was the big important thing.

So he kept giving Dan Cook the light, and but he wasn't paying attention.

Dane Cook, what the fuck?

They cut his mic.

Oh, yeah.

Cut his mic.

And then the next day it was in the paper.

Oh, my God.

And that guy got fired.

And like, yeah, the Mark Reslin, the owner of the franchise, like had to apologize and be like, that's not, that was stupid stupid of him.

And I don't think he ever came back and did any other shows after that.

But that makes sense.

How do you not know who Dane Cook is and work at the comedy club?

Yeah, maybe the guy was just a fish in the middle of the day.

He was only on sales.

Yeah, he was only on Friendster.

Right, right.

A Friendster comedian?

Yeah.

No, the manager.

I mean, no, I know, but just give you a picture.

Who seems really nice?

Yeah.

Seems like a super quaint,

kind of fun guy.

Somebody, which, what do you think of mean comedians?

I feel like there's more than ever.

What do you mean?

You know, there's this cohort of

kind of like bullies.

Mean on stage or mean like in their personal life?

Mostly on stage, but

you know, like

you're Joe Rogans and company.

No, he's not.

He's just asking questions.

He's just seeking the truth.

Do you mean like punching down?

No, like it just feels like bullies.

Like it's like bullies finally came on the screen.

Muscular comedians muscular comedians shaved head comedians

Tank top wearing comedians

I feel like you know what I mean like I felt like comedy when I was growing up was for nerds like it was nerd stay comedy

bullies you know like high school bully absolutely Dave point me in the direction of somebody who's not oh boy

I I feel the high school bully stuff but only

only in like a green room energy not on stage I feel like on stage they're trying to be charming and win everybody over.

Okay.

Also, because we, when I was doing comedy, people used slurs.

Oh,

so it's like, I feel like things have generally gotten less mean.

That's good.

That's actually, that's a good point.

So I'll get it.

I get what you're saying.

I get what you're saying.

But I think the way that I see it is like, there's just a lot more comedians who are

appealing to different niches.

And so sometimes you see someone that you personally think is so funny and you see them in a room and they absolutely just bomb.

And you're like, why isn't this work?

Like, I feel like people are doing less of the appealing to the masses and more appealing to like a niche.

Yeah, because who would be somebody that everybody could agree on and say, like, this versus like Nate Barge, I guess, or someone like that?

Yeah.

For a while, probably Jim Gaffigan, you could probably rely upon, but I can't think of who would be like, who's just that wide appeal where it's like, old people like it, young people like it.

Bill Cosby.

yeah we can all agree on it yeah it's so funny and uh

yeah have you ever seen the documentary comedian no

I think it's comedian Jerry Seinfeld Jerry Seinfeld no I've never seen it it's uh it in a lot of ways it doesn't age well but in particular where he goes and watches Bill Cosby and is just talking about like oh man that was just the this is the best that was mind-blowing and it wasn't man yeah but we're gonna see we're gonna see a lot of that sort of stuff now well I don't know if we should talk about but the P.

Diddy stuff.

Oh, no.

We should talk about it.

That was going to be my next question.

Who do you think?

Who do you think is involved?

I got my own private list.

Anybody?

No, what?

Okay.

So, what we know about P.

Diddy, trigger warning.

Yeah, for real.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

We don't have to talk about it.

We don't have to do it.

Cats out of the bag.

Do you have like a secret?

We don't have to disclose, but do you have a list of people that you think are probably on the list?

Okay.

this is, I'm gonna go for a long walk here, but I,

the worse my mental health is, the more my TikTok algorithm feeds me conspiracy theories.

Okay, and so recently, I can't, or is your mental health just such that

you take, think everything is a conspiracy theory?

Could be both, could be a mix of both.

But so I've been getting all these videos about the situation, which are really, I can't tell if they're factual or not.

My algorithm is still just guitar pedals.

I got really deep on ancient Egyptian conspiracy theories, and I think that has just really set the tone for my algorithm.

This is like people, there's codes written and this and that, or like back in the day, this was conspiracy theory about like Cleopatra.

Do you think the sun god Ra is gonna is actually uh gonna steal my bird head?

Yeah, tell me what's an ancient Egyptian uh

I and this is so stupid, but I like to think myself of like a bit of a critical thinker.

So I don't fully buy all of the aspects.

But basically, they were just talking about how precise all of the like vases and different sculptures that they created, like how incredibly precise all of the angles on everything were and that like a human.

No human could do that.

It would have to be some sort of like intelligent machine.

That is a conspiracy theory.

It's denying slavery.

It's true.

It's like, but if and people could do it now, right?

Like these things.

So why wouldn't they be unable to do it?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It was just basically saying that like these societies were much more advanced than we

realized.

What if they started out so high and it's just been going down ever since?

And like they figured out how to build.

giant pyramids with no tools or whatever.

And like now we need all these dumb tools and we're not quite as independent as

tools.

Yes, we've gotten more evolved.

we've gotten less evolved as we use more tools

um the tools were part of it but it was just like these tools that they made were so advanced right we can't even wrap our minds around them and who's who's peddling this uh some random dude on tick tock truly i it did lead me to watching actual documentaries about ancient egypt so that's where the algorithm is like

she's doing too much of a deep dive yeah exactly yeah the one that i i've I know I've clicked it once or twice, but slapping competitions.

Oh, yeah.

One of those.

There's a, it's, speaking of bullies.

Man, is it a place where bullies could come out and play?

It's a competition sponsored by the UFC

where two guys are standing at a at a podium and they each get to slap each other as hard as they can.

And lots of people just completely pass out and get knocked silly.

But if the guy doesn't move, ooh, you know, that guy's rough.

You know, he's tough, and you don't want to be on the wrong side of him.

I got it,

I got two things mixed up because I was thinking there's like a trend where it's like friends and families gather, they put they fill their mouths with water

and slap each other with tortillas.

Yeah, this is like the opposite of that.

That seems so fun, but also so gross because they're spitting water everywhere.

And also, you're so close to actually hitting them in the face, and you have a closed fist holding the tortilla.

Yeah, but that's see, in my slap game, nobody's fist, no fist.

You're not allowed to fist.

Only just open palm, slap in the face.

I'm not allowed to fist.

Wow.

I don't want to be a part of any organization that wouldn't have that.

But yeah, don't look at one of those videos because then it'll become your whole feed.

Maybe I want it to become, but it honestly sounds like, and it's all, do they win something at the end?

Yeah, probably.

Okay.

I've never watched like the, it's just one video at a time, so I don't know how the tournament works.

and but it is like it's controlled and they have like a whole team of people if you get knocked out they like lower you to the ground they have a doctor and everything um and it's like that it's kind of wholesome

it feels almost erotic yeah it is kind of erotic stuff on the internet it's almost erotic yeah yeah yeah yeah that tortilla slap thing i can see how that

that i want to try have you guys seen this family that is like they review food

say more because there's probably

a thousand things.

They feel like they're from New Jersey.

I believe the Rizzlers is one of them.

It's like

one of the members of this family.

And they're, you know, reviewing a chunk,

it's extra chunk chocolate cookie.

Hi, when I watch that.

It's so great.

They're so wholesome and they're camera ready.

And they're...

Boy,

I haven't seen enough of them that I can tell you anything about any of their names except the Rizzler.

Sure, the Rizzler.

The Rizzler is a little boy who's almost silent.

Oh no, is he okay?

I don't know, but I, you know, as long as this, as I haven't heard anything bad about this family yet,

yet.

Countdown starts now.

The fact that you haven't, neither of you know what I'm talking about, this is sort of dead in the water.

I do love food reviews, though.

Yeah.

Watching people eat food and then review it is something that that I watch quite frequently.

But I thought that was just like a young millennial thing.

It makes me feel better that other people are also doing it.

Yeah.

I mean,

I don't know what to tell you.

I eat food every day and I love it.

Dave, do you try and stop reviewing it?

This was pedestrian.

He says, he says about almost everything.

This tortilla tastes like it's been slapping somebody in the face.

Do you guys like that one guy that's like the chef that watches the viral?

I hate him.

You know what I'm talking about?

He like watches the videos.

It's half him and half the.

Oh, and he's basically making fun of the recipe.

Yeah.

And then at the end, he like says whether or not he would eat it or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've seen that.

I don't get, I see him in my feed and I'm like, okay, sure.

And then you see he's got like 5 million followers.

Really?

This guy's not bringing anything to the table?

Well, I mean, he's just stepping in where Gordon Ramsey left off, just being a mean guy about people's cooking.

Yeah.

It's a, you know, formula or.

Do you like him?

Is he your boy?

No, but I get it.

I get why people like him.

It's like the videos are pretty well constructed.

I like the guy who's

he just cooks for a sorority.

What?

This is the thing.

I feel like no things are going to cross because there's a billion things.

Yeah, so true.

What about the guy who does the DND dice and makes a sandwich based off of cooking?

Okay.

Look, I'm getting slap fight videos

I am not getting anything have you gotten any sandwiches of history guy he's wholesome

but it's it's great that these people are doing well on their own and there's no crossover yeah there's enough idiot eyeballs out there

gotta get off my phone

I want to get a new phone slowly destroying me yeah I uh uh

like I keep a watch on the like how many hours a day thing.

But what do you do about it?

I've been pretty good.

Like, I don't use it, I don't use it as much as I only use it when I'm really bored, which is usually standing in line or on a train or something like that.

Right.

Otherwise, I'm not, I don't know.

When you put your phone away, are you then on another screen or do you have a hobby that isn't screen related?

No, I have something built to my head.

I have an ocular thing, Elon Musk.

I was one of the test subjects.

So I'm looking at it right now and it's doing that thing where it's like, height, weight.

Yeah.

What's it say about my weight?

I don't think you want to know, man.

Yeah.

No, it's telling me, no, don't tell.

Don't tell.

Oh, my God.

If they had like your

Terminator-style thing, if he was, if the Terminator worked at a fairground as like the guess your weight guy.

After he does some revenging, he goes and gets a job as a carney.

The Terminator doesn't get revenge.

Yeah, they do.

The Terminator comes back to kill the guy who,

what stuck him with the war.

In what one?

The second one.

The bad guy comes back as a revenge for the humans.

Oh, well, the Terminator in that movie is protecting him.

They're both Terminators.

Okay, but it's not revenge.

It's prevenge.

Well, I guess it's kind of prevenge.

Yeah.

Okay, prevenge.

We can agree it's prevenge.

All right.

Terminator, ever seen it?

Never seen it.

What about T2 Judgment Day?

I've never seen it.

Do you know what the Terminator is?

Are you familiar with that franchise at all?

Yeah, yeah.

Do you know what the Governator is?

Yeah.

Arnold Schwarzenegger when he served as the governor of California.

No, he's a journalist as a journalist.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I wonder if because I grew up with that movie, I don't know if it would translate to somebody who wasn't around.

Maybe I'm excited.

I'm always around for the movies that you had.

I just didn't watch it.

I'm not a big movie person.

I'd like to be.

I'd like to be.

I'm what do you watch?

TV shows.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

Conspiracy theories.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm that's that's T2 is one I'm excited to show my kids.

Oh, yeah.

When they're big enough.

Yeah.

But I've only seen it once myself.

Really?

Yeah.

I've seen it probably at least a dozen times.

Better than the first one?

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

I mean, it's it's judgment call, but it's a better like big action movie.

Yeah.

It's like Toy Story.

I think the second one is better than the first one.

I think a lot of people think that.

Yeah.

Do you think I was watching an interview with Quentin Tarantino and he said that trilogy is the best

Bill Maher?

No, really?

Yeah.

He was talking to Bill Maher about it, and Bill Maher was like, I'm not familiar.

No, I would never watch Bill Maher.

I always like that.

That's aggravating.

I showed my kids Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure this weekend.

Oh, yeah.

Have you seen it?

No, I've never even heard of it.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Keanu Reeves' big step-up.

I love Keanu Reeves.

Yeah, it's one of his first.

And he

and he's Ted, and they have to go back in time and collect all these.

They're not going to graduate.

It's cool.

Cool.

These are stakes as high as Terminator 2.

And, well, because

in the future, their band's music is going to stop all war and suffering.

So the band needs to stay together.

So they go back in time so they can pass history class and they have to go like...

pick up Joan of Arc and Beethoven.

And yeah, Napoleon.

jeez napoleon turns out to be a real the guy who plays napoleon is would be perfect if they did a live-action um despicable me he's so groovy

yeah good call yeah um and anyway they um they all come to the mall they all go to the mall so like um

gengus khan is knocking down he's in the sports store yeah he's beating up a mannequin and then uh beethoven goes to the music store and he's rocking out they've got a huge crowd around them.

Billy the Kid is running away like Billy the Kid and Socrates.

Well, the Billy the Kid and Socrates are just hitting on chicks.

Wow.

Classic.

They're from a different time, Dave.

Yeah.

But what did your kids think of it?

They liked it.

Yeah.

And, but

they were so mean to Beethoven.

Like, Beethoven is rocking out in the mall,

attracting a big crowd.

Eventually, all these historical figures get arrested.

They get tracked down by the 30 security guards in matching uniforms in this mall, something that doesn't exist.

And then,

but Beethoven wasn't doing anything wrong.

He was attracting people to the music store.

I just feel bad for the guy.

Yeah, for a variety of reasons.

And Daff as well.

Yeah, yeah.

Now, with that description, you interested now?

I am because I love a good crossover.

I love when they introduce characters that don't belong in that universe to our universe.

Yeah, I'm a sucker for that.

Also, at that time, it seems like there was a lot of movies that were coming out around time travel.

Yeah.

I don't think it's ever stopped.

Yeah.

What's a modern time travel?

Like, you're right.

His wife is the last time I can remember it being like a big theme.

Oh, yeah.

Did I see that?

Maybe I did see it.

Everyone has a different rule.

Where it's like, you can change things, you can change things.

Actually, you know, yeah, maybe it was more of an 80s thing.

Back to the future.

Yeah.

Terminator.

There's like a lot of them.

Yeah.

Bill and Ted was definitely one of them.

And then there was like Hot Tub Time Machine.

That came later.

But like

Looper.

Looper.

What's the one that's like the most like scientifically grounded?

They use like refrigeration to do it.

Austin Powell.

Yeah, Austin Powell.

Good, excellent.

Nice, nice save.

No worries, I got it.

Dave, what's going with you, my friend?

Besides introducing one of the classic films of all time to your daughters.

I'm doing

this time of year, I'm

like, you know, we love the pumpkin spice of it all.

What's your favorite season?

Are you a summertime?

I like spring or fall.

I like the mild temperature seasons.

Yeah, fair enough.

We like the pumpkin spice of it all.

We like the spookiness.

We like the...

Are you guys going to go to pumpkin patch this year?

I I don't believe so.

Okay.

Did you have you ever done that before?

As a family, no, the kids have gone with their kindergarten classes.

Oh, okay.

I just, I don't know.

It seems like something people do.

It doesn't look fun to me, but no, and you're not even picking the pumpkin, I don't think.

Are you just seeing the pumpkin?

I think so.

And then they have set pumpkins on the side that you can pick from.

It's like when you go to Blockbuster and you take the video and then I get the actual video from behind the camera.

Yes.

But the

what I'm realizing is what I like so much about the fall is that um so many good movies and TV shows come back.

Oh, yeah.

What's coming back?

Well, the new Matlock.

Monk.

Yeah, Matt Locke.

They did do a Monk movie.

They did?

Yeah, I think, did we talk about it?

Nicole Passmore has a brief.

Oh,

yeah, well, yeah, we must do that.

As well as maybe Nug Nargang.

Sure.

Shout out to Nug.

The,

yeah,

you know, Slow Horses is back.

Only Murders in the Building is back.

Is it back?

Only Murders in the Building is back?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Is Meryl Streep in it again?

I don't think so.

I haven't started it yet.

I'm waiting for all these to finish up before I even start.

Eugene Levy's in it.

Zach Alvanak is in it.

Who's the other person?

Steve Martin.

Martin George.

Martin Jordan.

Steve Martin.

Gomez.

Oh, who's there's another, the one that's like the Selena Gomez equivalent.

There's a young woman with.

Oh, because

they're making a movie.

There's like a show within a show.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

Um, but uh, also, this is also when a lot of the like Oscarbait and uh,

fun movies come out, um, or just not even Oscarbait, but just like that sounds weird.

Are you gonna go off and Oscarbait over there?

Come on,

hey, for your consideration in this day and age.

Um,

but uh,

so playing at the movie theater up the street is

the Francis Ford Coppola film Megalopolis.

Yeah.

Have you heard of this film?

I've heard of it.

I have not seen it.

Me neither.

No, no one's seen it.

It is, so I've kind of had heard like

rumblings of this movie for a while, sort of rumble fish about this movie for a while.

And there was

it's like a movie Francis Ford Coppola has been wanting to make for 40 years.

it's it's why didn't he make it earlier if he wanted to make it so

he tried a couple times and it fell apart.

Um there was at least

I like apparently uh because

Lawrence Fishburne is in it.

Okay.

Lawrence Fishburne was also in Apocalypse Now as a very young man and he remembers

Francis Ford Coppola talking about it back then.

Oh, okay.

And then they tried to make it once in like the early 2000s, but it has kind of like a 9-11 aspect to it.

Everything, yeah, everything that came out that era was something 9-11

adjacent.

Friends had a picture of it on their wall.

Fraser Red had to change a Fraser to

counsel some patience.

It was, oh, you could,

who else?

Veronica's Closet.

Yeah, big

through life.

Anyway, so this is a movie he's been wanting to make for years.

It had a weird trailer for it that it was like...

It was on the defense.

It was like, because it was getting panned from the get-go.

And all the trailer was like, Francis Fercoppola made The Godfather.

Here are some bad reviews The Godfather got.

He made Apocalypse Now.

Here are some bad reviews.

Where the bad review is like, stupid idiot.

And then it turned out that those reviews didn't exist.

Oh, no.

They just did it in the marketing.

and then the poster i should say at the of the movie is adam drivers holding a t-square adam drivers in it yeah yeah okay

all right yeah right i'm interested he's holding it like an architectural t-square yeah well maybe if those ancient egyptians had that we wouldn't be having this conversation

um and he is okay so

i went to see this movie how many people are in the theater it was pretty busy okay it was a saturday matinee so it was you got a popcorn you get a soda

I got popcorn.

Well, I believe it was the place where the soda machine did.

The soda machine broke.

Oh, it's still broken?

Well, I don't know.

I stuck two beers in.

Oh, nice.

Nice.

So I got a popcorn and a cigar.

I'm laughing at the problem, child.

So I go into this movie.

First of all, the trailers for the new movies look so good.

There's a great new movie with Mark Wahlberg.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a popular apes, too.

There's a great movie with

Tom Hanks and Robin Wright

from Forrest Gump and Robert Zimacis.

This is a sequel to Forrest Gump?

The two of them and Robert Zamakis, but from the trailer, it looks like it takes place in the same living room

over maybe millions of years.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, no, that's good, because then they can show up at all sorts of historical.

Forrest Gump can be on the wall and the Egyptian.

They could be in old scrolls, you know what I mean?

I do.

Tablets, etc.

And he uses a lot of de-aging and re-aging.

Anyway, so

the movie starts, and it's automatically nonsense.

Well, also, he sold his vineyard and financed this whole thing.

Oh, really?

For a hundred million, it costs $120 million.

Oh, my.

Because he believed so much in it.

I mean, I do.

You got to tip a hat to somebody who's like, I believe in it.

I'm putting it all in.

Exactly.

That's sort of why I was like, all right.

I didn't want to know anything about the movie.

I was like, I know it's ambitious.

Right.

And, um,

and it's directed by, written, produced, directed by Francis Ford Kovala with help from his son.

Oh, nice.

Well,

when you're that rich, people stop interfering and being like, this is a bad idea.

So you're not getting like critical.

Especially when you finance it yourself, no one intervenes.

You're not getting studio notes.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I think you're right.

I think there's like a level where people just like, because like people must be working on movies where they realize partway through, like, this is bad.

Like, we're only realizing because we film it in chunks, but then when you put it together, this is a bad one.

But what can you do?

Yeah.

You're in the middle of making it, right?

Yeah.

Well, I feel that way about Avatar.

I feel like those are so big and ambitious.

But they're.

Yeah, he's like invented technologies because of those movies.

And but like they do well.

Yeah, they do well.

And

I was I went to Value Village and I found an avatar t-shirt, which I was like, I don't think I've ever seen a person wearing an avatar t-shirt.

I loved the second one.

Oh, yeah.

Me too.

The water aspect really elevated.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like 3D was amazing.

And it was like, that's when I kind of started realizing that I'm at the point in my life where I don't care about the plot.

Just want to hang out.

Yeah.

Just here to hang out.

And you'll be glad to know James Cameron writing a new Terminator movie.

Oh, good.

He's dipping a toe, he's gonna write the course, but he said, like, it's not gonna be, we're done with Arnold Schwartz, like, he's he's old, we can't do it anymore, it's silly.

Different story, different story.

Um, anyway, so this movie starts, and immediately I'm like, this is nonsense.

It's very

is that when you cracked open beer,

dude, I cracked them open before

when I'm in these

watching my Mark Wahlberg trailer,

and it's very much like,

you know, an old relative who has a lot of ideas, a lot of things.

There's a lot of problems with this new generation that they want to get off their chest.

And it's

about.

Like, what's one of the things where they're like,

where it's kind of an old man.

I can't even.

Like, they used to make architecture with a T-square, and ever since that's gone out.

I can't point to an idea in the movie.

Interesting, like at all.

Okay, not that that represents what I just said.

I just don't know what the movie's about.

So, um,

is that because you got drunk throughout it?

That's impossible.

This is making it less and less.

So, my thoughts on this: maybe take the movie with a grain of salt or a keg of beer,

especially given you snuck a keg in.

Oh, it's my dog.

Don't worry it was my CNI dog.

Twanger.

Hey, Twanger.

So, yeah, it's like Giancarlo Esposito.

Gus Frank.

Gus Frank.

Is the mayor of Miguel Lopos?

I think it's New York.

Okay, sure.

New York, as you've never seen it before?

Yeah, I don't know.

When does this take place?

I don't know.

Okay.

So they might be in New York.

Yeah.

And then there's a

this, but there's the like design department that is run by Adam Driver.

Right.

And he is this young upstart who's got this vision for this city.

Not the city, this like compound called Megalopolis.

Sure.

Which will be a building made out of this special material that he has discovered, that he won the Nobel Prize for.

So it takes place on Earth.

It's not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But everyone, I think it's in the future, but it's also everyone talks in a very kind of like the dialogue is very not Shakespearean, although Adam Driver does the full Hamlet model on it.

Oh, no.

Opt to be or not to be?

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Okay.

It's, you know, some people, some purists would be like, that's a fucking blatant ripoff of Shakespeare.

His show.

Although, like, they do talk in this kind of highfalutin, fancy seize them kind of.

Yeah.

Although at one point, John Voigt is like hiding.

John Voigt's in it?

Yeah, John Voigt's in it.

He's got some old man opinions.

Yeah, exactly.

And he's like

hiding something under his blanket, under his sheet, and it's like poking out.

And he goes, How do you like my boner?

Also from Shakespeare, another director above.

Did you stand up and applaud it that way?

But he's got like cancelled, semi-cancelled actors in it.

Like who?

Like John Voigt,

Shia LaBeouf.

Did he get canceled?

Yeah.

Shit, where was I?

I don't know.

I mean, is Dustin Hoffman canceled?

He was mean to Meryl Streep and Kramer vs.

Kramer.

That's true.

And didn't he like touch somebody's butt or something like that?

God, if we all, you know, if touching a butt, I'll tell you.

Let's finish that.

I won't.

And then Jason Schwartzman's in it because they're related.

Oh, that's nice.

And Talia Shire's in it because they're related.

What about Nicholas Cage?

No, I was like.

Oh.

Is Nicholas Cage canceled?

No, he was related to Friday.

He's a Coppola.

Oh, okay.

He's his nephew.

Oh.

He was Nicholas Coppola before he became Nick Cage.

Oh, interesting.

But Sophia Coppola has nothing to do with it.

But Roman, her brother, like co-directed it.

And he directed the.

He co-directed it?

I don't know what it's like with special thanks to my helper.

Roman.

He cleaned up the place.

He directed the Peaches video by Presidents of the United States of America.

Oh, okay.

So good pedigree.

Yeah.

That's what he

also wanted.

This was his project while he was working on Peaches.

He's like, someday me and my pops are going to direct a crazy

movie about architecture.

Yeah.

But

anyway, so an hour in, I didn't know what was going on and I was like, I should leave.

And I was going to leave, but then I was like, hmm, I'm pretty sleepy.

These two beers have made me kind of sleepy.

So did you nod off?

I nodded off.

And when I woke up, it was like they were showing like stock footage of 9-11 and Hitler.

Oh, my.

That's what they play between movies.

It was, yeah, I couldn't tell you what it's about.

I'm glad he made it.

I hope he's not ruined.

Yeah, me too.

I mean, I feel like that is a thing with directors is they have a thing way in the future, but like the technology doesn't exist.

Like Stanley Kubrick wanted to do AI ages ago, but the thing to make it just didn't exist yet.

And he never got to make it.

He passed away before Steven Spielberg made it.

And

Haley Joel Lausman's granted it.

He plays a great robot.

I haven't seen it.

Jude Law, also, great robot.

Great robot, Joe.

Did you like what you saw, though?

No.

Okay.

It was quite bad.

But do you think it's going to become one of those cult bad things?

It was maybe it had some Tommy Wizzo to it.

If the dialogue was that bad.

Two hour plus, this film?

215.

Okay, so if it's interested in how in this universe 9-11 happened.

Yeah, me too.

But I think I slipped through that part.

That would be very funny if

a movie started that way.

And the whole time you're like, what are they?

Why are they all so sad?

What's going on?

They're not making references back to it.

And then I left.

When I was done, I ran into past guests, Sean Devlin and Kevin Lee outside.

And Sean Devlin knew everything about Megalopolis.

I had gone in knowing nothing, and he had watched all these interviews.

Oh, he's the next.

So did he tell you what it was?

No.

He told me about a weird interview with the Francis Ford Coppola game where someone asked him about

the state of movies and streaming.

Yeah.

And he was like, and Francis Ford Coppola didn't answer the question.

He said, why do they call it streaming?

That was him entering into stand-up company.

And then he was like, yeah, here's a fact.

You know who invented streaming?

Major League Baseball.

Maybe he's got a deal with Netflix right now, so he doesn't want to say anything negative.

Oh, maybe.

Getting existential with it.

Yeah, like, what is it even?

Yeah.

What does it mean to us as an artist and an audience?

Yeah, I

like.

There was an interview with,

what was it, Ridley Scott?

No.

He makes bad movies with Adam Crystal.

No.

Yeah, what did he make?

They made Gucci, Hustle Gucci.

That movie was so good.

Yeah, I enjoyed it, but I watched watched it on a plane and I usually like anything I see on a plane.

I enjoyed it from purely like, this is insane.

This whole movie is insane.

I'm going to get a stream driver, but I think he picks very challenging roles

like Gucci and Ferrari.

Oh, he was in Ferrari.

Yeah.

But I can't remember what the director, who it was.

It might have been Ridley Scott Orr, but they asked him, like, what do you think of the Barbie movie?

Because that's what was out at the time.

And he's like,

I don't get it.

Like,

she's not a human.

She's a doll.

Why does she go to a guy to college to see the end of the movie?

And I was like, oh, yeah.

That's a good point.

But just then they would ask this old-time director, like, what do you think of the fireball movie?

Oh, I saw the trailer.

Have you seen the trailer for the Robbie Williams biopic?

No.

Have you seen the trailer for the Lego Pharrell?

Okay, well,

these are both going to be good.

Have you heard of it?

The Pharrell Lego?

Oh, man.

Pharrell Lego?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pharrell Lego.

Lego movie.

The guy who.

Because I'm Happy.

Because I'm Happy.

Okay, okay.

From the Grueniverse.

But I did.

The Lego movie was really good.

Well, it's going to be his biopic in Lego.

In Lego.

Okay, interesting choice.

Interesting choice.

Yeah.

All around, it's an interesting choice.

Whoever agreed that this was like...

Maybe this is what Pharrell's wanted to do his whole career.

Well, okay.

So the Robbie Williams, you don't know who Robbie Williams is.

And you don't need to know.

Yeah, you don't need to know.

But he was a singer.

He is a singer.

He's a British singer.

He was in Take That.

And then he had.

Is this clearing it up, anyway?

He was in Take That.

Okay.

Take That was a boy band that wasn't big here at all.

Yeah.

Like they had one hit here.

Want you back.

But Gary Barlow sang the lead on that, not Robbie Williams.

And then he went solo.

He had a few hits here.

Millennium, Angels, Rock DJ.

Rock DJ, yeah.

Where he rips all his skin off.

And the music video, not real.

And now he's he's an actor?

No.

No, he's...

So this is his bio, but because he's a huge star in Great Britain.

He was like the bad boy.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, he like came out of this boy band, I think, because he was

the naughty one.

So they're doing...

Okay, so they're not doing it as Lego.

They're doing it with a Playmobile?

They're doing it, but he's an ape.

What?

They're doing his life story, but what if one of the apes from Planet of the Apes was Robbie Williams?

So he's the ape in a world of non-apes?

Are you sure you're not also on conspiracy theory, Tim?

I did drink a couple beers before I watched this trailer.

So the story is about a singing gorilla.

It's about a singing gorilla.

They call him a monkey in the

trailer, but he looks more like the Planet of the Apes apes.

Okay, so he's an ape.

Do people lose their mind when they hear him sing a song?

I don't know.

I don't know if it's...

Because all the the apes, to that point, sign language, you know, very rough around the edges, but if he's singing Pillenium.

He's singing in the trailer.

He's like live at Nebworth, you know.

He's singing, Let Me Entertain You.

He actually sings, I've seen his live performance of Let Me Entertain You.

And I think they took it from that.

And he says, for the next two hours, your ass is mine.

It's great.

He's a great performer.

He's a great performer.

Did he request this?

Yeah, that's a very good request.

Actually, his wife got it in the divorce.

I'm going to make that stupid monkey movie.

But

it looks great.

Check out the Robbie Williams biopic.

I'm legitimately excited about it.

There's no reason

they should release this movie in North America.

He's not famous here.

Yeah, but well, you know what people love here?

Monkeys.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

We're monkey crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's, huh.

So, like two biopic that

nobody, seemingly nobody asked for, and also taking a very bizarre angle.

I know.

Yeah.

It's like if

it seems too soon to make Pharrell's biopic, too.

Yeah.

Well,

agreed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like you've, you've had some hits.

Yeah.

So, yeah, he should retire and then a biopic.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Or die.

Yeah.

A tragic death.

Yeah.

A tragic death would be.

That'd be great.

Then you move some tickets.

Like they just made Amy Winehouse's.

Yeah.

They just made Bob Marley's.

Yeah.

They just made Freddie Mercury's.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

that movie was fun because the lead actor was wearing fake teeth the whole time, big chompers.

It was great.

Wait, who, Remy Malik?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know that.

Have you seen it?

I have seen it, but I didn't notice.

You didn't notice that he had these gigantic teeth?

I've only recently been starting to notice veneers.

And I think I'm getting pretty good at recognizing them.

Okay, well, you may want to revisit this movie because it's beyond veneers.

I'll give it a re-watch.

I don't think I could recognize veneers.

No, I can't.

I know some people.

Yeah.

What is veneer just like it's made your teeth white or it's capped teeth?

Yeah, it's like fake teeth that they put in, like porcelain, I believe.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

And you can pick how white you want them.

And some people just go like as white as possible, but you don't realize like a human, an adult human does not have porcelain white teeth.

Yeah.

Although if you're in your world, where I hang out,

if you watch uh 80s movies before veneers existed

uh it's shocking to go back and forth between modern movies and 80s movies because it's like john john candy's got like you know the brownest teeth of in history he was a smoker

yeah um i can't spot them but i'm not looking yeah i i've started looking i've started looking

let me look over here oh these are the real deal yeah yeah they've got that light yellow tinge.

I dreamed for the days of light yellow when it was just light yellow.

Yeah, you know, I could never, for Halloween, go as the Joker or anything.

The contrast would be to my mom.

I'm so excited for that as well.

Oh, yeah.

Are you guys dressing up this year?

No, I mean the Joker.

Oh, the Joker.

Oh, the Joker, biopic.

Biopic.

I've heard from a lot of the critics, it's mostly a courtroom drama.

Oh.

Yeah, it's like him in an asylum and then him in courtroom.

When they first pitched it as Lady Gaga's in it and it's a musical, I was like, okay, I didn't like the first one, but I'm on board for this.

Yeah, because like the first one, they thought that like

lone shooters were going to attend the movies.

This one, it's all a drama kids.

Yeah, because it's like a musical and everybody's excited.

It's apparently not really a musical.

And also, there's a big scene in the trailer where they were both walking down the stairs doing a dance not in the the movie.

Sure.

So

you cannot do that.

Is it just be an homage to the first movie?

I think so.

Yeah.

And it just looks like a scene where you're like, maybe this movie is kind of cool.

Right.

Not so much.

I don't want to watch it if it's a musical.

Yeah.

I hate being roped into a movie and then five minutes in realizing it's a musical.

Yeah.

That happened with me in, oh, shit.

Was it dear?

Evan Hansen.

Evan Hansen.

Oh, yeah.

Within the first 10 minutes he started singing.

I was like, oh, shit.

How did you not know?

I didn't know what it was.

I thought it was just a drama about a kid in high school.

Yeah.

I don't.

There was a

scene, like a clip came out of an audience watching the Mean Girls musical

movie.

And she started singing, and the whole audience groans.

But then when you watch it in real life, that's like the fifth song.

So like they knew it was a musical by then.

But maybe they were just like, maybe it stops being a musical.

Yeah.

It's just the first half.

and then they realize people don't like it.

They could reshoot the first half, though.

Too expensive.

Anyway, I love movies.

I love TV.

It's the three chairs.

Like, this is the time of year for entertainment.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Indoor kid.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you sock away during the winter and just...

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've always been an indoor kid.

Like, if I could just spend my days reading and watching television, I would be a happy camper.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, they are two of the greatest things.

They are, yeah.

And like having a bit of a midday nap.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

If you want as many beers as you play during the day,

if you want a midday nap, I recommend Megalopolis.

Graham, what's up with you, my man?

Well, here's the thing.

We are heading into the spooky season.

And in this neighborhood, there's people like to go all out.

Oh, yeah.

There's one that I walk past 12-foot skeleton, blinking eyes.

Cool.

Looks side to side, blinks its eyes.

Some people have already had their inflatables up, inflatable Frankenstein.

I already got my veneers in.

Yep.

You're going as Freddie Mercury in this crack.

There's one guy down the street from where I live that goes all out.

Like he decorates his whole house.

And he has a theme, but it hasn't.

All these other people are getting the things.

There's a flaming pumpkin head I've seen.

This guy hasn't started yet.

And I'm dying to know what it's going to be.

So exciting.

Yeah.

Last year was Carnival.

The first year that I saw it, it was like a prison.

And he changes it all completely.

Does a whole new theme, a whole new characters.

And, oh, it's so spooky, dude.

Kids?

I don't know.

There's someone in the neighborhood who has

like four or five skeletons.

Oh, yeah.

And in their yard, every day they change it.

And so, like, today the skeletons skeletons are eating like a dog.

And then one day, the skeletons are playing cards.

And one day they're like, you know, sneaking into the sneaking up the balcony.

I hope that they know how appreciated that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's really sweet.

I've seen online, I've seen a picture of a skeleton doing the Australian breakdancing.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, I saw that too.

Now that's an algorithm we can all enjoy, right?

Yeah, yeah.

This Olympics was so, they really caught the algorithm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I still get pictures of people's penises knocking over things.

Yeah, wait, what?

I did not

see that, the high jumper, the pole vaulter, pole vaulter, yeah.

Did he hit the bar with his gigantic wang?

I missed that.

Well, how did you miss that?

I don't know.

My algorithm's broken.

You're reading somewhere, something like that.

You were, that was probably the day your ex got married and you were trying to track him back.

Exactly.

I've got to stop it from happening.

Whole future depends on it.

Yeah, I've always lived in an apartment building, so I've never really been able to enjoy the like houses being decorated around me.

Yeah.

I live in an apartment building as well.

And I make it my mission to go into suburbs, see what everybody's doing.

Yeah, you gotta.

There's a park that during COVID, every house did went all out and they had like candy shoots.

And

it was amazing.

Everybody did their house up to the ninths because everybody had so much time.

Yeah.

So it was, it was really, I love it.

I love Halloween.

I love decorations.

I love spooky

robotics, animatronic,

which, you know, when I was a kid, that was enough to run a theme park.

An animatronic that just talked and said a few things.

And now you can buy them at Spirit of Halloween.

Yeah, or Canadian Tire.

Are you going to buy one?

Keep one in the kitchen.

Yeah, I mean, I want one of the 12-hood skeletons, but then it would have the whole theme of the apartment would have to be a skeleton.

But also, I'm looking forward to watching things.

And one thing that I've watched, which is definitely in my algorithm, is Netflix short series called McMahon.

Mr.

McMahon.

Oh, about wrestling.

About wrestle.

Yeah, wrestling things.

And I've

a docuseries?

Docu series.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you know who this Mr.

McMahon is?

No, it's sports-related.

It's sports adjacent.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know, the WWE.

You're familiar?

He's the big boss man.

Oh,

he's the guy who created it.

Okay, cool.

But his dad created it.

He just took it over from his dad.

Yeah, but he made it enormous.

Oh, absolutely.

And he.

I'll give him that.

Yeah, he's a bad man in general.

He's a very bad man.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah, not in a fun way.

But I've had a lot of conversations about it with friends.

And there's something in the wrestling universe called the Montreal screw job, which was

a guy who was going to retire from one league and move to another.

And they said, we'll make it so that you don't have to lose the title.

We'll have a big brawl and it'll be just everything's,

you know, disqualified.

Who was the guy?

Brett Hart.

Oh, the Hitman Hart.

He was the one that was supposed to...

But Vince McMahon said, you're not taking the the title with you.

So they did a pin, and then they rang the bell really, really fast.

And then that's how Bret Hart lost.

Oh.

Oh, they rigged it so he would lose.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was all rigged.

Something of a screw job.

It was some sort of someplace screwjob.

You probably heard about this at a concord.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Journalism on the line.

Day one.

We're going to talk about Sean Michaels today.

So So I need you to put away your textbooks.

Sean Michaels, did he win?

He's a, yes.

He was the winner of this.

The hardbreak kid.

And so

I've heard about this story a thousand times.

And like, I've honestly, it's on every wrestling podcast.

It's on anything that you've ever made about wrestling.

It's in

hieroglyphics.

In hieroglyphics.

But you can see him being pinned.

Generation to generation.

Right.

Yeah.

But

it's interesting because like there's this time it's him doing all the talking.

Usually it's wrestlers

McMahon, who's old at this point.

He's an old man.

He's an old man.

He,

anyways, the story that I didn't realize was the beginning of a new era of wrestling.

It was more edgy.

And it started with that because Brett Hart spat right in his eye.

And he said, like, in the interview, he's like, still to this day, I don't know how he did it.

I don't know how he landed that spit so perfectly.

So, okay, before the screw, boy.

Here we go.

Okay.

So Brett the Hitman heart.

Yes.

Was a wrestler for the WWE.

And he wanted to go to WCW, WCW, where Hulk Hogan had already gone.

And became a bad guy.

What does WCW stand for?

Wrestling Chance Wrestling.

World Championship Wrestling.

Okay.

And

so he wanted to go there.

Yeah.

And

Mr.

McMahon said, that's fine, sir.

Yeah.

When did the spitting happen?

After After the screwjob.

After the screwjob.

So he was like, I'm leaving.

He's like, well, okay.

Leave that behind.

Leave the belt behind.

Yeah.

But he, well, first he said, you can take the belt.

He said, we won't screw job you.

He said,

it's his last match.

So he said, they'll bring in a bunch of wrestlers.

It'll be a disqualification.

And so then he gets to technically keep the belt, but also he doesn't

have the belt.

He didn't lose the belt.

So that was the deal.

And then he did get beaten.

Then he he did get beaten.

Okay.

And then after that, he walked right up to Mr.

McMahon and he said, Huck to us.

He spit on that fellow.

He hucked to it.

But from quite a distance.

Like it wasn't right in his face.

He was in the ring, and Mr.

McMahon was down on the floor.

It was a public thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh.

He spat right in his eye.

At that event?

At that event?

Oh, my gosh.

I thought this was at a meeting later.

Thank you for joining me here.

Yeah.

Sorry about before.

I got nervous and I rang the bell.

And so, did he ever join WCW?

What did he change his name to?

Oh, he owned Brett the Hitman Heart.

Oh.

Yeah.

Because Hulk Hogan became Hollywood Hogan.

Yeah.

What?

And Razor Rogan.

He became a bad guy.

Razor Ramon became Scott Hall.

Scott Hall.

Yeah.

Anyways, the documentary is

very interesting for that.

But then the other part of the Muncheryl screw job that I didn't know is that after this all went down, Brett was in the locker room and Vince said, I had it in my head and he absolutely had the

reason to do this.

I went in to be punched in the face.

He was like, Are we going to talk to him?

And I'm going to punch him in the face.

And both of them agreed.

It was quite a punch.

And like, he got a black eye.

And they had different accounts of what type of punch it was.

But I never heard that.

There was a tortilla in his hand at one point.

Do you,

you're a married man.

Do you have shows you watch with your wife and shows you watch without your wife?

Yeah, this is one without.

This is a solo project.

Do you, Abby and I hardly have any shows we watch together anymore?

I'm re-watching.

We mostly share videos with each other.

Mostly get into bed and say, here's some things I saw today.

Good night.

Where does the crossover happen on things that you do watch?

Like, what's the genre?

Even then, it's like, because of our kids and our schedules, it's

a few years ago, it just felt like unfair to be like, Well, this new episode's out, but I can't watch it for like three more days, right?

So, you go ahead and watch it, right?

Yeah, and now we're like, well, sometimes we watch the same shows, but mostly she doesn't want to watch Only Murders in the Building.

Yeah, there's a lot of

watch shows with dragons in them.

Oh, yeah, I don't, I don't want to watch the dragon-based shows either, but I do want to watch Only Murders in the Building.

We always come together on thrillers,

horror, or true crime.

Okay.

Yeah.

Those are the genres that I overlap with my boyfriend.

Yeah, with my wife, it's almost entirely horror movies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we're watching The Sopranos.

I never watched this.

Oh, yeah.

How far are you in it now?

Christopher was just shot.

Oh, shot by two thugs trying to make a name for themselves.

And he is in the hospital

and he's come out of his coma and he's on the mend.

So that's the big thing.

Did you you ever watch The Sopranos?

No.

Worth watching.

The Sopranos and the Wire are the two that I haven't watched that I are on my list.

That's you and your boyfriend should really just this fall.

Yeah.

Make it prestige television.

Yeah.

Have you seen Break Bad?

I've seen Breaking Bad.

Okay.

Yeah.

What's another one of the ones that would fall under that?

Madmen?

Madmen.

Madmen.

Yeah.

Succession.

Succession I've watched.

Oh, I'm really excited for Severance to come back.

Did you guys watch Severance on Apple TV?

In the underground bunker kind of place?

It's the one where basically when they go into work, they forget who they are outside of work.

And when they leave work, they don't remember what happened.

I've tried watching it, but I couldn't, I couldn't get into the...

There's too many rules.

Oh, okay.

I don't like it.

I also tried watching it.

What?

But it seemed.

I don't need it to be uplifting, but it kind of just bummed me out.

Oh, yeah.

It's a big bummer.

And it's all fluorescent lighting the entire time, which is even more of a bummer.

That also reminds me of a job that I had with like in a windowless office with for us tonight, so yeah, yeah.

Um, but yeah, uh, this McMahon, I've been solo on this one.

Yeah, I've communicated with a lot of friends that have watched it, so that's kind of kept me going.

And I have one more episode to watch.

Uh, who are your who's in your wrestling group chat?

Uh, oh, um, Macho Man,

Tatanka,

Kamala,

Tugboat,

uh, sensational Sherry.

Did Tugboat ever fight Ricky the Dragon steamboat in an all-boat?

Small boat extravagance?

Maybe?

No, they were from different eras.

But I watched a documentary with them in it, Tugboat and Earthquake, that they used to be called the natural disasters, but then Tugboat became Tugboat, and he had like a sailor's hat and a striped shirt.

Sure.

Sure,

wore like...

white bell bottoms, I guess, was like the other one.

Oh, like

a sailor man.

Yeah, the HMS pinafore.

Anyways, Tugboat is a listener, so shout out to you, Tugboat.

Keep doing what you're doing.

But yeah, no, I don't have an official group.

I just have people that are

in my life somewhere that have been.

Have you seen it?

No, Kevin Banner would be the number one.

You think I talked to him?

He's got two kids.

Oh, no time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, you got to have somebody who's a real degenerate.

Ryan Beale?

Does Ryan Beale?

Well, I mean, we did.

Yeah, we did a wrestling show together for years.

Oh, okay.

But no, you're not talking to him about it.

No, it's hot.

I should send him a message and see what he thinks.

Just reach out.

I will.

Hey, Ryan, in light of the McMahon documentary, I wanted to reach out.

Anyways, if you have any inkling whatsoever to learn anything about wrestling,

I've got it.

Yeah.

The drama of it sounds pretty interesting.

There's the drama of it, and then there's also like a lot of pageantry in wrestling, which is like, if you never see, have you ever watched wrestling?

My younger cousin used to be a big fan of like, I don't, the one that's like really theatrical.

Is that WWE?

There's a new one called AEW, and it's very theatrical.

Maybe it's that.

But the one where they have like chairs and they throw them at each other, and there's the heel and the

other.

Okay, okay, yes.

I've watched some of that, but clearly not very much.

It is fun.

It's like kind of watching like a parade kind of thing.

Like there's a lot of colors and characters and fireworks.

Yeah, and dramatic storyline.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

uh oh and then he he became a character he decided to become a character himself as being the the mean boss yeah he hated him but was it a character well exactly getting spit on and punched but then he made uh his uh daughter a character and his son a character and his wife a character at one point she was catatonic and being wheeled around that was very funny because she said she couldn't act

Did she want to be a character?

Yeah, well, I don't think it was a choice in the Big Man.

I was told everybody would become a character so uh but yeah if it's actually weird because it is sincerely a family business

it's wholesome yeah it's wholesome it's worth watching it's worth watching if you're curious at all um but uh speaking of family businesses and wrestling check out fighting with my family starring florence pew

oh is that is that good I never seen that.

Oh, shit.

But it's a bit like a true story of a wrestling person.

I don't think I've ever seen it.

No.

Well, there we go.

Follow watching.

I got a new project.

Yeah.

Do you guys want to move on to some overheards?

Yes.

Ego, some John Hodgman.

At Ego, some Janet Varney.

And we're the hosts of ePluribus Motto, a podcast dedicated to exploring the mottos of every state in the union.

Every episode, we will spotlight one state and discuss its official symbols, the motto, flowers, birds, beverages, songs, and even official state muffins.

Plus, we'll hear from guests whose lives have been inspired by the state's iconography and from residents who call that state home.

Bring some snacks, a map, and your travel journal because this podcast is a virtual journey like no other.

Audi Nostrum e pluribus mato que liba talia lunae di maximum fun.

And for the Latin challenged among you and us, listen to e pluribus mato every other Monday on Maximum Fun.

Since 2017, Maximum Film has had the same slogan.

The podcast that's not just a bunch of straight white guys.

Ooh, we've learned something over the years.

Some people out there really do not like that slogan.

Listen, we love straight white guys.

Well, some of them.

But if there's one thing we can't change, it's who we are.

I'm Ify, a comedian who was on strike last year in two different unions.

I'm Drea.

I've been a producer and film festival programmer for decades.

And I'm Alonzo, a film critic who literally wrote the book on queer Hollywood.

You can listen to us talk movies and the movie biz every week on Maximum Film.

We may not be straight white guys, but we love movies and we know what we're talking about.

Listen to Maximum Film on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hey, folks, before we get to these overheards, a friend of the show, Graham, has something he wants to say.

I love you very much.

I've had a crush on you for a long time.

Who are you talking to?

The listener.

Oh, okay.

I am doing a show, a comedy show.

in Ottawa, Ontario on October 20th at the Laugh Lounge.

If you want tickets, you go to laughlounge.ca and you, it's going to be great.

It's going to be, it's going to be local.

There's going to be some local talent.

There's going to be some touring talent.

That's me.

There's going to be gifts.

There's going to be,

I was going to say music, but there probably won't be music.

There might be a projector.

There's a lot of stuff up in the air, but it's going to be a good show.

So this is in Ottawa.

So if you are anyone in Ottawa, if you are Jim Balsilli from the movie about Black Blackberry,

if you are.

Was he in Ottawa or is he in Hamilton?

I think he was in Hamilton.

He wanted to buy the Pittsburgh Penguins and puts them in cabs.

Okay.

So if you are the guy who runs, who created Corel Draw.

Or you're Bruce Coburn on behalf of World Fund, 56 Spark Street, Ottawa.

If you are

Kim Campbell, former Prime Minister Kim Campbell.

If you're Alanis Morissette.

If you're Alanis Morissette or John Dore.

John Dore, Nor McDonald.

If anyone is near in, like, celebrating the Carp Garlic Festival, if you're coming in from the Carp Garlic Festival, head to see Graham at the audience.

At the Laugh Lounge.

Yeah, check it out, laughlounge.ca.

And yeah, I think we can go back to the show.

Okay.

Overheard.

Overheards.

This segment on the show just keeps getting better and better with each passing year.

If you overhear it, we want to hear it too.

And you can send it into us at spy at maximumfund.org.

We always like to start with the guest.

Nikki, you've been overheard.

Okay, so this one was really hard because I do have noise-canceling headphones, but I made it a point this week to not wear them.

Okay.

So the last thing I remember was

I was on the skytrain.

The last thing I remember hearing that was interesting was I was on the skytrain and there was a Chinese woman there and she had like a bag of all of her things that she had bought that day.

One of them was a pair of shoes.

And then there was a white lady there, and she starts talking to the woman as though she doesn't speak English, which is an assumption that she had made, but she's talking to her in the most patronizing way possible.

Right.

Like, really, so, like, I like your shoes, and like, pointing to her shoes.

And then the woman just responds to her in like perfect English.

And you can see her just like all of the light in her eyes just fade so quickly.

And it just brought me so much joy because it felt like such a quintessential Vancouver interaction.

Yeah.

Welcome.

Yes.

Yeah.

Where someone's trying to be so friendly, but they're actually coming off as like slightly racist.

Yeah.

And the other person responds in a very like plain way.

And they're like, oh, I need to check myself a little bit.

Yeah.

It just brought me joy.

It also brings me joy whenever someone has the intention of doing something nice and it goes the complete opposite way.

Yeah.

I, My big thing is somebody who's trying to do something cool and it goes bad and like, check this out.

And then it goes, somebody falls or a whole project collapses.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's like the megalopolis never gets made.

It's tension building without it ever being released.

And something in that brings me a lot of joy.

Seeing her have to stand next to this woman for the rest of the Skytrain ride and not say anything and just feel so embarrassed.

Oh, I would have moved all the way to the other side of the the Skytrain.

I'll drink you guys later.

Or get off at the next stop.

I'll wait for the next train.

The best part was, she was with her husband or partner, whoever, as well, and they had been talking previously.

And then after that interaction, her and her husband also stopped talking.

You did it again, Janice.

Yeah.

Everywhere they go.

Yeah.

You're always doing that.

Dave, do you have an overscene?

Mine is an overseen.

Okay.

So

my algorithm fed me this

guy who, like, it was a video of this guy who does like vintage everything.

Like, he lives in an old-timey house.

Oh, wow.

He's got, he wears old-timey clothes.

His all of his like pots and pans and everything are old-timey.

And he like, you know, brings in a thing of flowers he's gotten and he puts them in a vase.

Wearing suspenders and shit like that.

Where is this?

Is it like Portland?

I think he's European.

Oh, he's European.

Okay.

And then he, it's like, it was in the middle of the summer and he's all sweaty.

And he,

you know, has an old-timey tap and drinks water, pours it into glass.

But he has a glass

straw that he drinks out of.

Fancy.

And one of the comments on this post was, don't understand why using a straw when you're using your own glass.

And,

you know, people are, all the comments under that are, you know,

saying, oh, I have sensitive teeth, so I do that, and blah, blah, blah.

And the guy who originally posted was like, no, it's to keep my mustache dry.

Ah.

And one of the comments.

Because in old time times, you didn't wash your mustache.

No water should touch my mustache at any point.

And then one of the comments was, hmm, my husband does the same thing.

He's looking for an antique mustache cup.

But finding one for lefties is a challenge.

Oh, my God.

As niche a problem as you could possibly have.

Are the mustache ones like it's a half.

I looked into it.

It's like it's a cup, but it's got, yeah, sort of like a panel that kind of blocks where your mustache would hit it, but then water does pass through underneath.

So it's kind of hard to imagine.

And as someone who, like, I definitely

sympathize with this person because I'm a person who's like, we'll just try to hunt down the one thing I need.

Yeah.

What's the last thing you were

trying to hunt down?

10th pair of jeans.

I bet someone on Etsy is selling those mugs.

Oh, yeah, no, definitely.

For lefties?

Right, yeah.

No one's talking about that.

They're circle.

Well, one of them is supposed to drink my tea right-handed.

I can't get the whole of this one.

I did remember that I just wore a a pair of jeans the other day that I bought in 2009.

Wow.

It's the same size since 2009.

And I wore them on stage at the Halifax Comedy Festival.

That's how old they are.

Yeah.

Wow.

Still wearable?

Oh, no.

I had to let them out.

Yeah, they're wearable.

They're patched.

They're patched.

Okay, cool, cool.

My crotch has blown them out.

Oh, no.

So much crotch blowout.

I had to get a new gusset.

There was also a scene in the documentary where Sean Michaels stuffed a sock in his shorts.

And everybody's like, yeah, it stuffed a sock.

He stuffed a sock.

And then it comes to him and he goes, it was gauze.

I put gauze in my shorts.

It wasn't a sock.

It was gauze.

That's good.

Yeah.

Does that make it better?

Is gauze like...

It's just everyone's got it wrong.

Right.

And that he's clearing the air.

It was gauze.

And

yeah.

And so now I know, too.

Yeah.

I mean, if I was wearing tights in front of everyone, I'd stuff.

Sure.

Yeah.

I'd stuff the front and the back.

The pancrapper.

That was your nickname as a wrestler.

He's always got a full diaper this way.

That's my intro music.

It's just like, oh, I made another.

Do you get on Instagram posts that are like the whole account seems to be like whatever people

you know falling down but on the bottom at the top it says what if there was an account that was just people falling down yes please no i get i always get these and it's like um

you know what if uh what if there was an account of just people uh get of just jump scares or just sports bloopers and it says it at the top of the video and it must be annoying to follow these accounts because it

says at the top of every video, what if there was an account that was,

but I saw one the other day that was, what if there was an account that was just people crapping their pants?

But it had like scary music and it looked like they were just sneaking, like there was a like a toddler.

It's a very scary thing.

In a diaper, a toddler in a diaper standing there.

And they're like, the person with the camera's behind them.

And it said, what if there was an account that was just people crapping their pants?

And it had spooky music.

And then you just see this diaper fill up.

They don't scare them at all.

It's just

gross.

I would follow that account.

Yeah.

Sure, yeah.

But I want adults crafting their pants.

I don't want children crafting their pants.

Yeah.

I want them to realize and panic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, my jeans is what I want to hear.

There's a good video of a Scottish boy, a little Scottish boy.

He was talking and he says, I've just shot myself.

Poor little guy.

Yeah.

My overheard comes courtesy of a gang of three girls that were, because there was a holiday Monday,

out of school, having a blast.

and the one girl to the other two was like, when I say pee, you say za.

P.

And then they were like, zah.

And she's like, no, do it.

Do it right.

P.

Zah.

But it's not pea-za.

It's pizza.

Pisa.

When I say pee, you say tza.

I fear I'm that friend.

Yeah.

You're the one trying to do it for a while.

For everyone's

participate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You need somebody like that because otherwise nobody would participate in anything.

That's true.

That's true.

Thank you for spending it.

And yeah, some would say that you're kind of a hero.

Yeah, some would.

Yeah.

You're sort of like

the character from Megalopolis that Adam Driver plays, Cicero.

No, wait, he's Caesar.

There's Caesar and Cicero.

That's another reason it's all like old-timey.

Now, we also have overheard

sent into us from people all over the world.

If you want to send one in, send it into spy at maximumfund.org.

And this first one comes from Bart M.

Las Vegas.

I just had a kid say the darndest for my six-year-old in the top three of best jokes ever.

Tulip, my daughter, asked for another gummy worm.

And I said, if you could tell me a good joke, you can have one.

Three bad jokes in.

She asked what a good joke was.

I said, the premise and punchline have to be related, thinking this was way over her head nonsense.

She thinks for a minute, minute, goes, What did the premise say to the punchline?

Hey, do you think we're related?

She got it.

That's good.

She nailed it.

I didn't see the twist coming.

It's great.

Do you think we're related?

I like how

three jokes in.

She's like, what is a good

idea?

Yeah.

With my.

Well, I mean, yeah.

That's like the, you know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over.

Okay, we've done three.

Let's find out.

Let's, how do we make some progress?

You were going to say about your nephew.

Oh, yeah.

Nephew and niece, they got a hold of the idea.

I think it was the knock-knock joke was like, banana, banana, banana.

Orange you glad I didn't say banana.

So they thought it was knock knock who's there.

Aren't you glad?

That was the only kind of,

aren't you glad you're sitting down?

This next one comes from Emma and Eric from Chicago, Illinois.

Wait, that orange you glad you didn't say banana.

That's like

expert level.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have to tell a bunch of bad jokes first.

Yeah.

You have to say orange a lot.

Yeah.

No, banana.

Banana.

Banana a lot.

Then you're orangey glad.

Yeah, I guess it's banana a lot.

I've had a goblet beer.

Emma and Eric from uh sorry, Emma and Eric from Chicago, Illinois.

We were sitting outside of Starbucks and there was an older man talking loudly on his cell phone in a classic chicago accent i can't do we overheard this heard him say he was the most unlikely cop on the take you'd ever seen he looked like jay leno which you can trust a guy that looks like jay leno oh yeah yeah

big chin though but you know what he he's honest he leads with his chin yeah that was his thing that he had a big chin that was like his yeah but it wasn't that big it wasn't freakish it was just kind of kind of big you were a caricaturist you'd go for it.

Oh, yeah.

It was like the jaw and chin in combination or something quite large.

He was sort of a giga-chad.

I don't know what that is.

Me neither.

Oh, you got to get on my algorithm.

No, it's these young men.

They want to have a very

jawline.

It's very important to them to have a good jawline.

So they're mewing.

Mewing.

Mewing is.

You stick your tongue on the roof of your mouth and you're like basically exercising your jaw.

So you like cut the fat out underneath your jaw.

I don't know, you tone the muscle.

It's hard to lose jaw fat.

It's one of the hardest things.

I have TMJ, so it's always too much jaw.

Yeah.

Like Freddie Mercury.

Yeah, exactly.

This last one comes from Angela from Toronto.

My seven-year-old son just said this to me.

There's two things you need to know about me.

One, I got two butt cheeks.

Two,

I love you.

That's a Valentine's Day card right there.

Yeah, I've got butt cheeks in it.

I love you.

I've got two butt cheeks.

My God, what if you had more?

I don't like to picture a world like that.

One in the middle.

There's no butt crack.

It's just another butt cheeks.

It's just another.

Yeah,

it's just three butt cheeks.

Now what are you going to do?

I don't know, man.

Because we got to get surgery.

In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one ug spypod one,

like these people have.

Hello, Dave and Graham and possible guests.

This is Andy from Brooklyn.

I have an overseen.

I've been jogging before work.

And so I usually go out between about 7.30 to 8.30 in the morning.

And I was jogging through Brooklyn today.

and you know, it's around 8, so parents are dropping their kids off at school.

People are on their way to work, and I see a woman with a shirt, and the shirt says,

This was my only shirt.

I'm sorry, this was my only shirt that didn't have cum on it.

And she was just wearing it

in the broad daylight.

Anyway, it didn't appear to have come on it, so at least

Off I go.

So that's an indoor shirt only, I guess.

You throw on a robe over top of that.

Yeah, I mean, that's maybe not a shirt.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, you know, I think sometimes maybe you get a party shirt.

Some kind of silly thing and you keep it in your...

But you know what?

I don't mind wearing a shirt with cum on it to a party.

yeah do you have anything not not with a slogan on it necessarily but it's inside only you would never wear it outside of the house like just one that's in tatters or i have one that i got from emily heller when i worked with her a decade ago that said i'm horny for emily heller

for her but i don't wear that out of the house i don't you know i'm not exposing kids to yeah emily heller's horniness i think i'm realizing that my toxic trait is i would wear that out of the house i would wear the cum shirt out of the house No, I don't really.

Okay.

Oh, actually, to bring it back, my Dane Cook shirt.

Oh, shit.

I got a Dane Cook shirt when I went to

his performance, and I only wear that in house.

Yeah.

In-house, yeah, because I just don't want other comedians to make comments on it.

Right.

But it's like the perfect, it's like so soft.

It's the perfect t-shirt.

I don't wear any, I don't, I just don't wear.

I don't think I've ever seen you with a shirt that had anything on it.

Yeah.

I don't like little comments from people.

Yeah.

What does that mean?

Stuff like that.

So I wear.

You think you're better than me?

Yeah.

Sometimes you might catch me walking the dog in a little mountain gallery comedy.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

It's just that's an around the neighborhood kind of thing.

Sure.

Okay.

Next phone call.

Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests.

This is Tomas from Dallas calling in with a overheard.

I was sitting at a bar watching some some Thursday Night Football

when I overheard a girl

seemingly on a first date with this other guy

who was saying,

the girl is the girl.

Oh, fuck, man.

Damn,

let me straighten this out.

So he called back.

Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guests.

This is Tomas for the first time calling in with Overheard.

So I was sitting at the bar watching some Thursday Night Football when I was overhearing a girl talking to this guy.

And the girl,

it seemed like they're on a first date, but the girl ended up saying at one point,

and she ended up saying,

whatever.

I'm going to keep going.

All right.

So the girl ended up saying,

all right.

Oh, wait, fuck.

What is she?

Fuck.

All right.

No.

No, no, no.

We're going to keep going.

I got it.

So the girl ended up saying,

so some of my friends, they're short kings,

but I tell them that it's okay.

So,

God, that fucking, yeah.

Whatever.

Yeah.

Have a good one, Dave.

Just Dave.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

That was really good.

I was on the edge of my seat.

Yeah.

The ones where people screw up are very special.

Yeah.

Boy, I have another, but I'm,

maybe it's for another time.

We've just, we've all been through a lot with that first one.

That was, yeah, that was heavy duty.

All right.

Here's your final phone call.

Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Louie in Los Angeles, and

I love the show.

You guys are awesome.

Hey, thanks.

My 11-year-old son is a Boy Scout.

And over the summer, I was on a trip with him on an island somewhere by the ocean.

And

I overheard one of the Scout Master guys,

these are middle-aged dads wearing green shorts and carrying around clipboards.

Yeah.

But I overheard one of them shout in a commanding military kind of voice to a kid, Scout, your Crocs must be in sport mode.

Also, I've always wondered Dave why do you say ich before the phone number and what was the first episode when he said it off I go

well sport mode is when you have the little strap that's what I was thinking yeah yeah

I don't say uch before the phone number the uch is part of the phone number

uh 1-844-7797631 that's one UGH ug spypod one

and I believe I first said it in 2016 when we got it when a listener I want to say hunter

recognized that you could it would spell ugh so there's that yeah there's a little bit of history for you get in the croc get your crocs in sport mode oh

you wear crocs no no meaning but if i don't

crocs down you no oh i thought you had it around the house i've got uh no i'm i wear these around the house oh yeah i'm around the house right now they're birken stocks yeah they're nice i like the color thanks yeah uh according to the website the color's tomato but i don't think so i'd say that's like a burnt orange yeah it's orangier yeah like a cheetah uh there you go yeah it's a cheetah maybe cheetos are brighter than that cheezy though anyways uh

thank you so much for being our guest yeah thank you for having me tell us where can we hear your podcast give me a run-z is that jay-z's brother yep

Your podcast.

Soft for us.

Soft for us.

It's on Spotify.

What does the name mean?

Everybody asks that, and now I regret naming it that.

But then the other day, somebody commented on our, we do like the video on YouTube, and someone commented being like, is it because you guys make men soft?

And they were trying to be mean, but that was what it was.

So we're like soft individuals, sensitive individuals.

And then also it's a play on soft being soft, men being soft.

Oh, yeah, I just assumed that you enjoyed some sort of comfort.

Soft for us.

That is the main theme.

But yeah, get three female comedians in the room and obviously there's conversation.

And it's on Spotify.

It's on all the places.

Yeah, yeah.

Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube.

Yeah.

Get us on YouTube.

Get our YouTube numbers out.

Yeah.

Is it soft for us on YouTube?

It is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, you can get it anywhere.

We're on all of the platforms.

Find us on our new Instagram as well.

Find us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get at us and tell us,

you know, what are your favorite trends, that type of thing, what are your your great viral videos?

These are things we want to learn.

We want people to comment about their favorite viral videos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, send them to us.

And I will say, because this comes out the second week of October, I think.

Boy.

Who can tell anyone?

I want to say it comes out on the 14th.

Yeah, Thanksgiving Day in Canada.

So

this coming Sunday, I will be in Ottawa, Ontario, doing a show at the Laugh Lounge Theater.

And tickets are available now.

It's on the 20th.

Love to see you there.

Again, thank you, Nikki, for being our guest.

I'll just take a quick selfie for our Instagram.

Okay.

Don't get in there, Graham.

Oh, God.

Me get in there.

Graham, your face is so blonde.

That's the way I prefer it.

Amazing.

I'm kind of like Wilson from

anyway, in the show.

Thank you, everybody out there, for listening.

We just hope you have a great fall, a fun Halloween.

So come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.