Episode 864 - Jacob Samuel

Hi, he's Dave Shumka.

And he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 864 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name's Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who, oh, oh he's just so happy that the uh much busy or the mtv video awards are done for another year mr dave shopka now we're pre-taping but even then

it's weeks ago it's weeks ago even as like a

this one uh i was actually thinking about i should have brought it up last week how i'm upset i'm upset now i didn't because um

because last week was we released last week's episode on September 30th and I was I was supposed to remind Billy Joe Armstrong I was supposed to wake him up

when September ends.

What happened at the video music award?

Taylor danced Katie Perry's medley that she did.

So that was the big ticket item I think.

Katie

disgraced flopping hard.

Yeah, huge in her

mid-century.

Mid, mid.

But Taylor backed her up by dancing.

Yeah, she got up and danced because I think it was...

She was wearing that shark costume.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she kept doing this, like pointing to her eyes and then pointing at her, like, I've got my eyes on you.

Because remember, they had that falling out on me.

Oh, and it was about a dancer.

I know.

I wonder if that dancer is probably dead.

That's why they're able to mend fences.

And what was the song that she wrote about it?

We used to have Bad Blood.

Yeah, I know we have Bad Blood.

And Katy Perry wrote California Girls because of it.

Well, Katy Perry wins.

Yeah, she always wins.

California Girls is so good.

It's such a good song.

Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, very funny comedian.

He has a tour coming up.

He's got a special he's recording.

I was going to say album, but it's not.

It's a special.

And he's a very funny comedian.

Here's for you today, Jacob Samuel.

Hello.

Hi.

Why not both?

Why not an album and a special?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

Yeah,

please.

You got to maximize the value.

No, no, no, no, no.

We can't allow it.

Yeah, it's not like John Denver Christmas where you get to see the Muppets and the Muppets and then you get the album.

Different versions.

Were they?

Yeah.

Oh, they weren't just a recording of.

Yeah, no, there's different songs.

Really?

Yeah.

Shit.

Because we had the John Denver Muppet Christmas album.

Yeah.

And then I later watched the video of it, of the special.

Missing songs.

Yeah.

Different arrangements.

Whenever he gets in the studio with those Muppets, though, the sessions get all fucking crazy.

If they're making an album, do you have to just trust them that the Muppets, they were doing it through the Muppets?

Yeah.

You think they used AI?

Or they're just sad ignoring.

Yeah.

Very early.

Tell us, before we get to know us, tell us about the tour and the album.

No, it's a special, but I'm here.

You know what?

I have a feeling it might also be an album.

It might also be an album, or at the very least, a series of training cards, something like that.

I don't know who tipped you off, but these are very accurate guesses.

So you're going to, okay.

Yeah, I'm doing it.

This is the first time I've done, like, I've produced my own comedy tour.

Okay.

And by tour, I mean I booked a bunch of dates and put them on the same poster.

And that's what makes the tour.

You just need a poster.

Yeah, or a t-shirt.

Yeah.

Oh, do you have a name of the tour?

Yeah.

No, don't tell us.

Well, let's, we'll come up with one for Jake.

Okay, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

My very first tour.

Oh, okay.

Boy, there's so many ways you could go.

I know.

Like, mentally deranged.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Is your poster your head opening up and a bunch of stuff coming out of it?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, okay.

No, you're a cartoonist, and I think,

okay, drawing from my own life.

It's the silly doodler tour.

I like the idea more of marketing myself as like nothing held back.

Yeah.

Right?

Like a super edgy.

Like you holding an American flag.

Yeah.

And then I just do my regular stuff.

Like, giraffes are weird.

Like, this guy, he's safe

to talk about anything.

Okay, I got another one.

Doodles and noodles.

And then, but in between, like, but

you don't tell jokes.

You just draw pictures and then like do improvise a guitar solo.

that's right because you're you're uh you're an artiste you're a guitarist are you a guitarist uh yeah i'd say but i don't really play very much anymore he was on the debaters as the guitar expert and he played yeah

which i came on and i realized that like i used i used to play in bands uh my friends all were better musicians than i was they still play together but they record with the muppets ever not yet not that i know of but then i did the debaters and i was like i can play guitar like i played guitar for quite a while.

Maybe a bit out of practice.

And then I realized, like, I forgot how hard it is to play in front of people.

Yeah.

And, like, the nerves.

Because I mean, I've been doing stand-up comedy for quite a while.

Don't have those nerves anymore.

Not even a little bit?

Maybe a little bit.

Guitar?

Oh, my God.

And then I was...

And my opponent was Miles Anderson, who is an excellent musician.

He's a classically trained piano player.

So that was very.

I was freaked out.

Yeah.

Well, he's a real.

It was a guitar versus piano.

Oh, Oh, yeah.

Which is the.

Did Miles bring a guitar?

He.

No, they got a whole piano, didn't they?

Yeah, they had a piano.

They had a piano right now.

They wheeled it out on stage.

Ben Foltz, five?

Ben Foltz has been divorced five times.

Really?

That's not true, is it?

I mean, he does strike me as somebody who's very divorceable.

Okay, tell us the name of the tour.

Let's get to know us.

Oh, I thought we were doing it before we get to know it.

It went too far.

Yeah.

Get to know us.

Okay.

What's the name of the tour?

Name of the tour is Big Talk.

Big Talk.

Big Talk.

Which would be the name of the special and album, I think.

Okay.

But I got really good advice.

So Katie Ellen Humphreys,

past guest.

Past guest, fave guest.

She gave me the advice where she said, like, oh, just

give the show a name.

And then say a comedy show and make a poster and more people will come see it.

Like, all of a sudden, it becomes a thing.

Yeah, a thing.

Whereas if you just say, hey, I'm I'm in these cities and people don't care as much.

But there's also like

Jacob's big talk.

There were guys when I was starting out would do a tour of all the yuck-yucks and they put together a poster and it just happened that all the tour was at Yuck-Yucks, but it worked.

I think it's self-help.

If you give it a name, then people are like, oh, this is a certain show.

And if I don't see it now, I might never get to see it later, even though it's being recorded.

But it's about, I don't know, it makes people feel like they're part of something.

I feel like I'm part of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's kind of like we're the fifth member of the band.

Yeah.

The secret Muppet tracks.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

When you record your album, can you put one secret Muppet track at the end?

I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I have to now.

I think we have room for one.

Are you because you won the Juno for Best Comedy Album?

Did you release a vinyl or any kind of physical media?

No.

Are you going to this time?

Maybe.

I don't know.

Maybe it won't.

It never occurred to me.

What year did you win it?

2021.

It was the pandemics.

They weren't printing vinyl anymore.

Yeah.

Saving it for medical supplies.

Because

the year Graham was nominated,

one of your nominees just didn't even put out an album.

It was just a Netflix.

Yeah, it was just a Netflix special.

But if you close your eyes, it's like an album.

That's a loophole.

They didn't win.

So that's it.

Well, it shows you didn't have to go the extra effort.

Yeah, you got to have album quality.

So

you do a special.

Let me thank you.

Now you put it up on YouTube.

That's what everybody does.

Probably, but I'm actually gonna do the fun showbiz thing where I shop it around.

I'm gonna produce it, and I'm gonna be on two phones just trying to make deals,

going for various splits.

It's gonna be

what do you want of this?

Banana.

But like, if you went with like a label, do they pay you money back or do they forward you?

No, I know.

I'm self-producing it because I want to own it.

I want to own my, like, you know, like Taylor Swift, I want to own the masters.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I'll make some sort of deal for the rev, like the royalty revenue from it.

Okay.

But I'm going to stick with owning it because some of the label, like sometimes they will pay for it and they'll make it for you.

But I've just ended up, like a lot of the labels are in other locations and I've ended up organizing the whole shoot myself anyway.

Yeah.

So I'm like, well, why do I need them?

Yeah.

Just going to do it myself.

Well, they print the vinyl.

Oh, wait, we're not doing that.

So, anyway, and it makes it a bit more exciting because who knows?

Who knows?

But it's nice to have a finished product to show to people.

And what are the hot cities?

Are you going?

Are you going to go through Cranbrook?

Are you going to go to White Rock?

Are you going to go to France?

Fort St.

John?

Are you going to go to Prince George?

Kind of in between in the middle of the tour right now.

Okay.

Well, you're in the middle of it?

Yeah, I'm not on the road the whole time.

So let's see.

We did.

Wait, wait, wait.

Just so you know, this doesn't come out until a week after Billy Joe Armstrong

Awakened.

So October?

Yeah.

When did October does this come out?

The 7th.

The 7th.

That is perfect.

Yeah.

Okay.

So as of the 7th, I will have done.

So I've already done Whistler.

I did Sunshine, Gibson's, The Sunshine Coast.

Okay.

I did Kelowna earlier in the summer.

Where did you play in Gibson's?

At the Legion.

At the Legion.

Are they Legion's shows?

No, this was the only Legion show, but we did.

So I went on these shows with

my friend, very funny comedian and opener.

Or he opened for me.

He's not only an opener, but David McClain.

So we went to Whistler, did the theater of Whistler, and then did the Legion show, which is like opposite experiences of show types.

Yeah.

Right?

Because like...

I mean, you're not allowed to wear a hat in the Legion, but you can wear it all over Whistler.

Oh, yeah.

But also very cheap booze at a Legion.

But like people, people are yelling stuff out at a Legion and you're like, it's inappropriate to tell them to shut up.

Like we're in a Legion.

Well, but who's they're being disrespectful of our troops

by yelling during a show.

Yeah, just imagine that I'm on like a USO tour, everyone.

Golf club over your shoulder.

Fair enough.

And then, okay, so then Victoria will have happened by the time this comes out.

All right.

How was Victoria?

It was good?

It was good.

Phenomenal.

Okay.

We blew the roof off the place.

Playing at the McPherson Playhouse, you were.

Whatever the biggest venue is, I'm not there.

Yeah.

And then October 10th to 13th is the big run where I'm doing Montreal on the 10th.

Then Ottawa, three shows on the 11th and 12th.

And then the 13th, two shows in Toronto.

Wow.

Wow.

So that's, that's fun.

Because I've never done an East Coast, well, Central Canada.

We always say East Coast.

Yeah.

Central.

Like, I've never done a leg like that of those big cities.

I've never done Ottawa before.

You taking the train?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is such a great way to do it.

Yeah.

Riding that rail, man.

I love it.

Is your opener going with you as well?

You know,

yeah, I have local, local openers.

I've arranged some local openers.

Okay.

We did Ottawa and Toronto when we took the train.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I did it when I was with Yuck Yucks one time.

Yuck Yuck's really coming out of my mouth a couple times on the show.

Yeah.

So you've produced this tour.

Is there going to be a tour jacket at the end?

Some sort of like satin jacket to the staff members, road crew again?

Man, that would be nice.

I used to have that's what my

long-deceased grandfather was from Montreal.

That's what his business was.

He made like those jackets with like the leather or fake leather like thing.

So

I did have a hookup for custom jackets.

Shit.

But that ended about 30 or 25 years ago.

Yeah.

But at the time, did you think like, just put Oscar the Grouch on it or something like that?

No, he did make me a custom jacket with like, I think a fighter jacket on the back.

That's so cool.

That is really embroidered.

Wow.

Don't have it.

I wish I was him.

He's so cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like,

like, just call up a venue and ask if you play there.

What the hell?

How do you do that?

I mean,

I...

Some of the venues I've done, like Comedy Bar in Toronto, I've done once or twice before.

I just emailed them like, hey, this night, I didn't really plan it very well.

I was supposed to go to Ottawa.

I could do this.

Yeah.

And then I was like, well, if I'm going to Ottawa, I should go to Montreal the night before.

Sure.

Fly into Montreal.

And then there's like Theater St.

Catherine there, which is a.

You're doing Theater St.

Catherine?

Oh, man.

He won the Juno.

You were only known.

Oh, that's true.

We'll see how many tickets I sell.

But I'm taking the risk.

A lot of comedians are like afraid.

We're not afraid.

We're incompetent.

We're not afraid.

Well, there's sort of people, it's like, do I go to the club where they just take care of getting an audience?

Or do I book my own venue?

And what if no one shows up?

But I've decided to take that risk.

Like, let's just see.

Let's see what happens.

It's like having a multiple birthday party event.

And if everybody shows up for the other person, it's fine because you're lumped in.

But you're really putting yourself out there.

Yeah, we should do that.

Yeah.

Group birthday?

Yeah.

With all the listeners.

Our birthdays are 12 months apart, though.

But somehow we make it work.

and so uh

you doing any driving on this tour no driving what no driving very low train he told me the train no but on this side of things do you do oh yeah no no yeah do here i do the driving which is it's not so bad in bc because like if you're on the ferry then that really you're chilling on the ferry

good luck chilling on the ferry okay actually for the victoria show that i will have done in the past yeah

Mbeth and I, my wife and partner, we're going to actually bike from the ferry.

You're You're going to bike from the ferry.

We did it a couple months ago.

Because you can bike the whole way from, it's like 40 kilometers, I think.

Okay.

But it's all mostly separated paths, like from the ferry to Victoria.

Right.

And it's like pretty flat.

Like how flat?

Like, like really flat?

Very flat.

Okay.

Like, like, you're convinced the earth is not round.

Yeah.

Oh, nice.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

There were no hills where I'm like, oh, no.

Like, and even think of the idea of a hill.

Okay.

Are you a big biker in general?

Not really.

This is our first foray into being like a cycling couple where we got the shorts.

Yeah, we got the shorts.

Nice.

The full

like sunglasses that are huge.

Yeah.

Just full in.

And the panniers.

Yeah, you got to get the pannets.

Nice.

It's really, it's nice.

It's like,

it's a nice way to travel.

What are those last words that you said?

Are they the clip-in things to the bike?

No, no.

We don't have no clip-ins yet.

the, what is that, the thing that you were saying?

Peignets?

Oh, pennies.

No, but bicycle.

In French, it means basket.

In French.

And then the bags I clip onto the side.

Oh, yeah.

Like saddlebags.

Yeah, exactly.

Do you think you'll be like a person that commutes around the city next summer?

Or

to each of your job and whatnot?

Are you like...

I know,

sometimes I'll take my bike and then bike home from New West because it's like,

you can go the whole way on the Central Valley Greenway.

How's that flatness?

Is it pretty flat?

Yeah, pretty flat.

Like,

it's a really good bike path.

And I got an e-bike last summer, a folding one in.

So I've been, we were both using that motoring around.

It was really fun.

E-bikes are amazing.

Yeah.

I've only seen them from afar, but they look pretty cool.

I've only ridden one once and I broke it.

Are you broken?

Yeah.

I was borrowing my brother-in-law's in Copenhagen, and the kids were in the basket on the front.

It's that cut-style bike.

Oh, yeah.

With the wooden basket in the front.

And then

the key to the battery, I broke it off

by accident and then had to pedal the whole thing back.

Oh, no.

With both of your kids.

Back from the little mermaid statue.

I have to say, I love the variations of e-bikes that exist, like all the ways of carrying gear and kids, like the buckets that they have for them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's really cool.

Having never been on one, it just makes cycling easier or does it make you super fast?

Uh actually makes you super strong.

Yeah.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah.

Well, there's different levels of assist that it has, but it just makes it so that you're like, I don't want to deal with this hill.

And then you just cycle and then you just shoot up the hill.

I love that.

It makes it and they top out at a certain max speed.

It's like 30 kilometers.

They are set so they can't go faster than that, but it just makes it so that

it It really takes biking up a notch where it's so much easier.

It's for the ones that they have for the city, like the Moby ones.

Yeah.

Are those?

Yeah.

some of them are.

So all of a sudden, it doesn't feel like a chore.

Cycling seems like a chore to me.

You should try an e-bike.

I don't know.

That's like using an electric vacuum.

It's still a chore.

You know what I mean?

The manual vacuums?

Frank vacuuming.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, this electric vacuum has made it so much easier.

Yeah, like

an analog vacuum with two guys.

It's like on one of those railway pumps.

Growing up, my mom had a thing that was like.

I had one of those.

What is it?

It's kind of like a glorified lintro.

It's like a vacuum thing, but yeah.

It's like a child's toy.

Yeah, and it had these popping bubbles, popping popcorn inside.

No, it was basically...

Yeah, it was like a...

And it made like a

where you rubbed it over.

Were you supposed to use it on like the hard surfaces or the carpet?

We'd use it all over the place.

It didn't pick anything up.

No, it was no difference at all.

It was just a.

I'm sure it was something that was selling on TV or something like that.

Must have been on sale at a time.

I I don't even know what you'd call it.

Oh, me neither.

Look it up.

How do you feel about

built-in vacuums?

Like built into the house?

Yeah.

I think they're super cool.

Really?

You don't think they're old?

No, no.

I think it's so important because we, in our place,

it was originally built with one, and it's so

you carry this giant tube around with you.

Like the vacuum right itself.

Oh, well, the new ones, the tube is in the wall.

No, it is in the wall, but you still, the vacuum part is still like a tube you have to attach.

Right.

Oh, sure.

It just feels very impractical.

Do you have, like, my parents have one, like a little door that you kind of.

Yeah, yeah, they have all these little doors, and they just automatically, they open it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, those are cool.

You don't like?

Don't like.

What do you want instead?

A Dyson?

No, no, no.

What if the hole was a little bit lower and you could

never?

Dyson?

I'll give you a piece of information I learned.

Dyson vacuum is kind of overrated.

What?

Yeah.

I've never had the pleasure of using one, but I should go over to Friends House and ask him if it wasn't.

They're really toasting on brand value.

But isn't that their thing?

Like, they do one thing really, really well.

Isn't that their thing?

Well, the one thing they do really well is those hand dryers.

Yeah, exactly.

They're good at blowing the air out, but sucking it in, they have issues.

I love that all the designs, like there's the first one where you dip your hands in and out.

Then the one that looks like Cybertruck that just blows out air.

I've never seen this one.

It's not a Dyson, though.

Is it not that's I don't think so is it and then there's a lasery one that kind of has wings and that's the Dyson the new Dyson there's a hand dryer hand dryer they have new new they're always improving on them and there's just the continuous towel yeah oh yeah that oh man and then there's

my what I usually get is my pants

oh we're all out of paper towels pants you should put towel material inside the this is what I mean this is an idea I had a tweet years ago that was like,

they should make a shirt out of the material that you use to clean your glasses with.

Oh, like a chamois.

And then,

because that's what I clean my glasses with anyway.

And then someone did it.

And it's just like I've got a panel on the bottom.

I love it

made of that stuff.

Or a tie lay out of that.

A tie?

Yeah, well, that's practical, too, because people wear the ties all the time.

Yeah, they do, of course.

You have to if you want a job.

Well, certainly in today's go-go world.

Yeah.

Do you wear a tie at work?

I I have not worn a tie for a long, long time.

What about your wedding?

You didn't wear a tie at the time.

That may have been the last time I wore a tie.

Did you know?

It's away with a tie on stage.

I think you

could wear a suit.

Don't you?

Sometimes.

I do it less now, partly because my suit doesn't fit so great anymore.

But I've moved a bit away from wearing this suit.

But I still like to dress decently on stage.

Yeah.

But

it ties a bit much.

I don't know.

Do you find that, because when I started out, I wore suits.

And I found that in small towns, people are like, who the fuck is this guy in a suit?

Yeah,

I would feel like that.

I think you just, I want to dress intentionally so I look at least okay to look at.

What's a dream outfit for on stage?

Ooh, I mean, like a nice jacket, a nice sport jacket maybe, or like just a nice overshirt that like doesn't look like I'm trying to be cool.

I have a hard needle to thread because I'm not very cool.

What?

Not a cool guy.

Not cool.

Well,

I can see it.

All right, all right.

I fold.

Like, when I go on stage, no one's like, we just want to listen to this guy talk to us.

I don't know that I've ever seen an outfit that made me want to listen to a guy talk.

Do you remember when we did that show in Port Moody?

Port Coquillum?

Oh, yes.

And we showed up, and

we drove together, and I was wearing a sweater vest.

And as we parked the car in the parking lot, Graham turned to me and said, Now, Dave, I was very new to comedy.

Yeah.

And I'll censor this.

Yeah.

Dave,

you may get called the F-word.

And I think I did.

Yeah.

During the set.

So

first chair.

Yeah.

Call you first chair.

But what do you like?

How do you, what's your thought process in terms of what you

wear on stage?

I've kind of subscribed to the like just

one

black or like black with blue and that's it.

No.

Yeah, because you don't want to be too distracting, right?

You don't want to like...

The worst is when you have someone who wearing a t-shirt with like a more famous, more successful comedian on it.

No, we're all thinking about Bill Murray and how great it would be if he showed up.

How often does that happen?

I've seen it happen.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Or is it like, oh, man, he's got all four Ghostbusters on there.

They're all so fun.

Which is the funniest Ghostbuster.

I mean, people would say Bill Murray, but I don't know, man.

I think

Egon's pretty funny.

Yeah.

I think Harold Ramis is underrated.

And Ernie Hudson.

Ernie Hudson?

Do you actually like are there four or five Ghostbusters?

Four and then Dan Aykroyd.

And then Slimer.

Four and then Dan Aykroyd?

Yep.

He got downgraded.

And Janine took his place.

Janine.

Is Janine Annie Potts?

Yep.

Yep.

Did you see the new

Ghostbusters?

I haven't seen Ghostbusters since Ghostbusters 2.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know who the movie's for.

It's not for me.

It's ruining my childhood.

Ruining my childhood.

Not only have I not seen it, but my awareness of what movies are out there is like pretty low.

How come?

I don't pay attention.

You haven't seen Transformers 1?

It looks fun.

The prequel?

They're rebooting it?

No.

No.

It's just.

Do you learn how Optimus Prime became Optimus 1?

I'm not interested in Transformers.

Oh, yeah, well, the show's over.

No, the pinnacle was the Beast Wars that was on TV.

Okay.

Boy, you're so young.

And I don't want to go.

Like, that was fine.

That was great.

Would you go see a Beast Wars movie?

I don't think so.

This guy's pretty secure about his child.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, what if I told you

Glenn Powell is attached to play Beastman?

Yeah.

Play Mr.

Beastman.

I didn't see,

I don't know, Beast Wars.

That was, I remember.

Those are all animals.

Yeah, yeah.

I know what it is.

Is it an offshoot of Transformers?

Yeah, it was an animated one.

I think.

I'm just realizing that.

Well, they didn't have the first ones or all of that.

It was one of those buffet Transformers.

Oh, I would love to see a practical effects transformer movie where the actor has to get on the ground and stick the wheels.

And he has to go.

What about e-bike Transformer?

Oh, that.

He's probably last in the line of defense.

So did they turn from robot to animal?

Yeah.

Or animal to car.

Robot to animal.

Okay.

And was it like obviously.

So in

the original Transformers, the good guys were the cars and the bad guys were airplanes.

Yeah.

But they both turned into Transformers, turned into robots.

So were there good animals and bad animals?

Yeah, I think it was like prehistoric mammals.

Mammals versus dinosaurs.

So a sloth.

One of them was a sloth.

Yeah, a giant sloth.

Sloth.

Sabertooth tiger.

Maybe they weren't all prehistoric.

Mammoth.

Yeah, Mammoth.

I remember, what's the bad guy's name?

Destroy.

Chatterhead?

Chatterstar?

Chatterhead.

It's a chest.

Chatter's Optimus Project.

Optimist Deceptico is the company who works for the cons.

Okay, his name was...

Starscream?

Yeah, let's say that.

That was one of the bad guys.

The main bad guy was a dinosaur.

That's all I remember.

Oh, this is driving somebody out there nuts.

Okay,

we're going to pull up Google.

Oh, what's new in Chrome?

Just

shit.

Let's see.

So, am I looking up the bad guy from Transformers or bad guy from Beast Wars?

You think the bad guy, but then let's figure out all their animals from Beast Wars.

Okay.

Megatron.

Megatron.

Megatron.

Megatron.

There was one that was a ghetto blaster.

I remember that.

And he had a tape.

Was he a good guy or a bad guy?

He was a good guy.

He'd rock it out.

Soundwave?

Yeah, probably like Sound Wave.

Bad guy Beast Wars.

Beast Wars Transformers.

Megatron was the Megatron.

Same one.

Megatron.

Were they all the same?

The good guys and bad.

I guess the same names.

I don't know.

What was Optimus Prime in Beast Wars?

Oh, that's a good question.

I think they did make this into a game.

Did they say a lion?

I don't know.

I think that Optimus Prime is a gorilla.

Oh, yeah.

That's what I think he is.

Yeah, he looks.

like he's wearing a jawl.

Is this what you watched?

Yes.

That's it.

Ooh.

That is rough.

It's very.

It feels like home, though.

Yeah.

Was this on YTV?

Yeah.

Was this on after reboot?

Probably.

Did you, as a youth, were you all in on TV, watching TV all the time?

Or were you right on the cusp of when the internet started being something to watch?

No, no, we were TV.

Like

when I was younger, the the internet was like, it was all flash stuff still.

There wasn't video.

So we like

we when we were in elementary school, it was definitely all TV.

Yeah.

Right.

And then high school, kind of the internet, but like it was, we were we were we were like teens when YouTube came out.

Yeah.

Well, you were.

Yeah.

We were.

I was already buying my first house.

Yeah.

Um yeah.

Uh

I guess if I had access to YouTube as a kid, I just I just would never have done anything else.

I know.

It's hard.

My kids,

they love YouTube.

And some of it I don't mind.

Do they like Mr.

Beast?

No.

Okay.

They know who he is because other people will talk about him.

And they're like, we're going to do a Mr.

Beast-themed Lego.

They follow this good Lego guy.

I like him.

And then mostly they like.

There's this one part of Roblox called Dress to Impress

where you make outfits and there's a theme and you

pick your outfit based.

Oh, yeah, and they just watch YouTube videos that people do.

Well, they do it themselves, but they also watch YouTube videos.

They get some ideas.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the theme will be like, you know,

the plague.

And then you have to

make the beats.

Dark clothes.

Halloween's right around the corner.

Yeah.

You a fan?

Unfortunate.

No, not really.

I just don't like having to think of a costume.

I'm fine that other people like it.

I can give you an idea for a costume.

Yeah, what's Megatron?

Yeah, that's a good one.

Gorilla Optimus Prime.

I did actually years ago

for one of the debaters' debates.

I didn't end up doing this, but I bought a beekeeper's outfit because it wasn't that expensive.

That's easy.

And that was like perpetual Halloween costume if I ever need one.

What is not that expensive?

A beekeeper is like the fabric suit.

Yeah, but how much?

I don't keep track of it.

I think it's just money in my hand.

Yeah, it was like $5,000.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, it's nothing to me.

I feel like it was under $50.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

That's Halloween

appropriate.

And sure.

And

I've moved this beekeeper's outfit like several homes, being like, one day for Halloween.

And my wife's like, you've never touched this.

We're getting rid of this.

No, no, no.

I'll take care of it.

It doesn't even work as a beekeeper

because the bees keep stinging you.

Yeah.

Are you afraid of bees?

I'm afraid of bees.

No, I'm not afraid of bees.

I'm afraid of wasps.

I actually was stung by a wasp two weeks ago

on the forehead.

And

yeah, it still hurts.

But I'm not that scared of them because I've been stung a few times.

And so it does hurt a lot initially, but it goes away.

And it gives you magical powers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Then you can sting other people.

Through your finger, through your mouth.

Yeah.

I got stung by a wasp, but now I can stab other people.

I I saw this video of,

it was just one of these videos that ends up in your feed and you watch it.

And it was, and you're like, I guess I'm on the human side.

And they, uh, there was a hornet, and they put a, uh, like a plastic bag around the hornet and, so that they could

see where it was going.

Oh.

Um, and so the hornet, it's like a, it's way bigger than a wasp.

And it flew back to its nest.

And so they found the nest and they killed all the hornets in the nest because they were like killing crops.

Yeah, well, hornets freaked me out because I think those really hurt.

Yeah.

Why?

Why?

They're just bigger.

I don't know.

I've just heard that.

Yeah.

Have you ever been anywhere where there are?

I don't think I've ever been.

Are there hornets in there?

Have you ever seen a hornet?

No.

Charlotte, right?

Yeah.

No, I've seen a hornet here.

Yeah.

I've seen hornets, yeah.

Okay.

But yeah, but it's not bad.

Remember murder hornets?

What is murder hornets?

It was a thing that it was during the lockdown.

It was like, what?

Who had this on their 2020 bingo card?

Murder Hornets now?

Oh, man.

That bingo card thing.

First time I heard it, I was like, that's really novel.

And then I just heard it all the time.

Yeah.

Same with Enter the Chat.

I remember on the Olympics, they like, so-and-so has entered the chat.

I was like, oh, this sucks now.

It was cool until the guy from NBC knew it.

Yeah, and until he.

That wasn't on my bingo card.

Yeah.

Who had OJ Simpson dying on their 2024 bingo card?

Oh, man.

Did he die this year?

Maybe not.

Well, we'll have to watch it.

Did he watch the Oscars?

Yes, he died.

Yes.

We'll have to watch the Oscars.

You think he'll be in the thing?

Oh, man.

That would be so scandalous, but I love it.

He messed Nordberg and the.

Yeah.

And then, like, right after, I don't know, some classy actor.

I can't think of anyone who's actually died.

Yeah.

Who's a beloved.

I don't know.

Hey, Siri, who died later.

Or they're going to put them in and people just start applauding.

Everybody has a standing ovation.

Bring them back.

Or like the popular one they all stand for, and then they're still standing when the OJ one comes.

Gotcha.

Popular one they're all standing for.

Like they go through phases during the memorial.

Yeah.

We like him.

No, we don't like

to stand up and sit down over and over.

Do you like constantly hear about movies getting like a seven-minute standing ovation?

That doesn't seem possible to me.

At film festivals.

At film festivals.

I was like, it may be in France.

I don't know.

Yeah.

That's exactly where.

Yeah.

But like even

like Betelgeuse got a six-minute standing ovation.

I know that that really.

Yeah.

Is it supposed to be good?

I've seen it.

I liked it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But would not worth it.

I've got to not

stand there for six minutes.

You know, like, how long is a standing ovation?

Have you seen one?

They're like less than a minute, right?

Yeah, I also, I was like, how moving, it must be incredibly moving

to get a standing, like, I, yeah, like, when I saw, but, like,

you've seen standing ovations for things where the person is present, yes, yeah.

Like, I remember seeing Paul McCartney, and like it was enough already.

Like, he's got to get, you got to do the next song.

This applause needs to die down.

But, you know, if anybody's going to get a stand-u-o, it's going to be Paul McCartney.

Well, sure.

I'm going to sit down the whole time.

Yeah.

I love to boogie woogie.

Have you been a part?

Have you ever gotten a standing ovation?

Once.

Yeah, that was part of it.

It was at Just for Laughs.

It was in the gala.

So the end of the gala, they bring everyone out, and then there was a standing ovation.

And it is very moving.

Was there a comedian you thought deserved it more than you?

Maybe the host of the gala, who everyone was there for?

Was it Mr.

T?

Was it Kevin?

No, no, it was Hassan Minhaj.

Hassan Minhaj.

Yeah.

But that was, it was pretty cool to be like, because there's like 3,000 people.

And everybody's standing?

There must have been somebody.

Hold check, check.

Oh, that's a great time to sneak out.

When everyone's standing, you just get out of your row.

Yes.

That's great.

But I think that's the kind of standing ovation where they kind of hype up the audience to do it as well.

I don't think, like, it'd be something to do a show and then get like your own show and get a standing ovation.

Yeah, I'm actually, I was confused.

I was talking about standing ovulation.

Oh,

we just have to time it.

I just got, I got to have a baby.

You just got to say, you just gotta say,

okay, everyone, what was your last period?

You're in, you're not in.

Take your temperature.

Be on this strip.

We gotta admit we're standing ovation.

We're being on the strip as we're off the street.

Yeah,

have you been a part of one, a standing ovation?

Just this one.

Well, not the one thing where you were in the standing ovation.

Yeah, I'm definitely not the first, I think, to standing to ovate.

I'm more of a reluctant.

I wait for the guy.

Yeah, I'm not a a leaf.

I'm not the first to ovate.

In high school, I was one of the least likely to ovate.

Well, I feel like at a concert, everyone's standing already.

Everybody's standing.

And sometimes, like, have you ever seen it where some people stand up, but the most

teetering on the maybe is a standing ovation is

quite a thing.

Because I will stand my ground.

Sit my ground.

Sit your ground.

Also, I went to a concert this summer where

I, well, sometimes I'm finding out that bands I like have a way older average audience than I thought they did.

Interesting.

But

you see Jerry and the Pacemakers.

Guys, I got tickets.

Who would have thought?

You think that Doo-Op would have taken off with younger.

Wouldn't that be crazy if that had a revival?

Like, Doo-Wop just became a thing that the kids were crazy into.

I didn't see it happen.

Have you seen the videos?

We talked about this a few weeks ago, but have you seen the videos of

what's his face?

Frankie Valley.

Oh, Frankie Valley.

No.

He's just a zombie.

He's 90 years old.

But he's lip-singing, but his mouth isn't moving.

Like, the music is playing, and he is just.

He's not hitting the high notes, I guess.

He's not,

there's like he's beyond being able to try to fake it.

Do you have sunglasses on?

No.

Oh, okay.

Because then I know how they did it.

Dude, how do you feel?

You're at a concert, you're sitting down, and then people, some people get up to dance with the music, but it's kind of a sit-down concert.

And you're like, you're obstructing everyone's view.

This is something I was going to say, forget the notes, but I went to a concert this week of a country singer named Katie Musgraves.

Oh, did she change her name from Casey?

Yeah, it's Casey Musgraves.

And did you not talk about this last week?

No, because I just went this week.

Oh, okay.

And

it was a sit-down.

It was for the most part.

There were some teens dancing, but mostly we all stood up at the beginning.

Then we all sat down for the rest.

And then maybe during a really popular song, everybody stood up again, but then back down again.

I like it.

I love a sit-down concert.

Yeah.

It's uh, I think, like, maybe I'll just start listening to older music because I feel like the older people love to sit.

I don't pay money to go stand on my feet anymore.

I don't, yeah, I'm not standing.

I need a chair.

Like,

if I'm paying to go to this concert taking time, like, I want to be seated.

Yeah.

And with music, like, I want to, it's easier to listen to if you're not like, which I'm shifting on this foot, I'm shifting on this foot,

leading here.

I get someone in my head about music

what foot should i be on um i'm the same way although i do think it's very silly because when everyone else is enjoying it more than me like stop enjoying

i'm not enjoying it on the same level as you guys

this is should be more cerebral yeah

like what's the what is the most sit-down concert you guys have ever been to where it's just like not even any standing up at all.

Oh, that's a good question.

I know for me, it was kiss.

KISS.

It was like all older people, there was a lot of sitting.

Nobody was standing up.

Like everybody got to their seats and it sat like a hockey game.

I would have to say it's probably B.B.

King because

he wasn't standing up ever.

Yeah, it's like if he was in the audience.

Yeah, he was always sitting down.

He's got a stool on stage like Mark Maron.

Yeah, he sits on a stool.

It was actually quite a contrasting concert because he would always have Buddy Guy opening for him.

And Buddy Guy's big thing was that he got a huge chord, chord, like a really long chord for his guitar, and he walked through the audience, just ripping solos.

Wow.

So it was like, and then B.B.

King's just only sitting down in one place.

Does he keep doing it throughout B.B.

King's set?

No, yeah.

He comes out.

Buddy Guy had the polka dot guitar.

Yes.

Nice.

And is he a blues guy as well?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where do you see this?

This was

what was then the Molson Amphitheater in Toronto, like the summer concert series.

Oh, nice.

Oh, yeah.

That mistake.

Yeah.

Oh, beautiful summer concert series pick.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Bluesmen.

Actually, Kansas, I think the most sit-down was Oscar Peterson one time, like Roy Thompson Hall.

Yeah.

That was a very shit.

Sure, yeah.

No one, I mean, no one's dancing there.

Some people at the back are swaying, but yeah.

Yeah, for me, the most sit-down was the freaking Nutcracker dude.

All I remember from

seeing the Nutcracker as a kid is just thinking, like, why are we watching this this is the most boring thing like why do you think we're like kids would like this

beastmasters the whole time yeah yeah yeah i i didn't understand the whole like it's like i saw what this nutcracker came alive then they fire a cannon i'd like

who cares i the fact that it has been like the

not only the sustaining like christmas ballet the sustaining ballet other than like swan lake that this is this is yeah it's gonna last for hundreds of years you're gonna still first of all what does it have to do with Christmas?

When you're a kid, nuts are not interesting.

That is true.

So something that gives me access to nuts is even less interesting.

Yeah, I feel like...

Something that gives me access to nuts.

And the fact that it's like, this has become the soldier who, is he bite the nut?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, glorification of war.

But also, like, this is the number one kind of nutcracker now.

Like,

you can't get Leonard as a number one nutcracker.

Is this a nutcracker just like the metal one?

Yeah.

He's just walking around on stage without a hand.

A modernist.

This is a sleek modernist version of the nutcracker.

I mean, hey, that's something I would give a big standing ovation to.

Two minutes.

Two minutes standing ovation.

Yeah, I've never seen it.

I've never seen it.

I've never been to a ballet ever before.

Oh, God.

You'd love it.

Yeah, that's true.

I like it.

I mean, I think maybe I'd appreciate it.

Just get wasted in the back.

You'd love the ballet.

It sucks.

Maybe I'd appreciate it more now just given how I know how hard that is.

Yeah.

Right.

But that's how I feel about boners.

I appreciate them a lot more knowing how hard they are.

Yeah.

I guess so then it's like watching wrestling.

Like there's an endurance aspect to it.

I guess so.

But maybe you're just like, oh, it's like watching people work out.

I don't know.

That sounds good.

Watch people destroy their bodies and particularly toes.

Yeah, destroy their feet so they look all crazy.

I think I'd rather see more like dancing where they're doing, like, I don't know, there's a lot of people doing really cool moves that just look cool visually.

Slips and stuff like that.

Yeah.

I think what you want is parkour.

Maybe.

Parker live.

Parkour, lewis can't lose uh they should do uh nutcracker parkour um

indoor parkour yeah yeah the the the you know freaking flip of the sugar plum fairies

the in vancouver we have an indoor parkour store yep i remember yeah i just you have to have so much energy the energy people have who are into parkour is the option where i'm

yeah probably i think they have like kids you know

flipping and flopping all over

classes after after school.

Yeah, I mean, when you watch it on video, it's very impressive.

Absolutely.

But, you know, no thanks, right?

No, I don't need to figure out a way down.

I'll just take the elevator.

I don't need to skip all over the place.

What if you're running from James Bond?

I'll let him catch me because he's so attractive

to those baby blues.

Yeah, the I'll just swallow the microfilm.

What's it going to do?

Come and get it.

I watched that documentary on Netflix that is about people that climb up towers and like take their pictures in YouTube videos.

And a lot of them die.

Yeah, that's a crazy trend.

Yeah, like, so there's this woman is one of the focuses of the documentary.

She sees somebody from her old crew and she says, how is everybody?

It's like, they're all dead.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Because most people just fall.

Well, they were trying to get their picture taken in the Dyatlov Pass.

That's what you should use AI for is those pictures yeah exactly we should start with those

and work our way back yeah let's save some lives here it's so crazy but they do it for the money I guess well they do it for the

swag yeah they do it for the swag no they do it for the

that's like the sir edmund hillary quote where it's like because it's there

yeah that's true uh because that tower that's being built is there i gotta get to the top of it And that's what they did.

They camped out in a tower.

No one's trying to get to the bottom of things, though.

People are trying to climb up towers.

Are people trying to get down holes in the same room?

Yeah, because it's there.

Now it's there.

Look at how deep I am.

The shots is up.

There's feet.

Yeah, there's divers.

Yeah, diggers, divers.

You can't talk.

Mole people.

There's mold people.

Chuds.

There's chuds.

Absolutely.

Yeah, the

like, are you heights guy?

Can you do heights?

I heights kind of, but steep falls really freak me out.

Right.

So, like, when there's a steep drop, I've always been

scared of that.

Yeah.

Oh, that's correct.

Like, I just very uncomfortable.

I don't get people who are okay, like, go to the edge or.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

You skydive?

No.

No, no, no.

I do scuba dive.

You do?

Yeah.

That doesn't freak me out.

You got like your certificates?

I have my advanced open water.

Oh,

you're Patty certified?

yeah yeah

you go uh how deep you go i think i i think i'm certified to go down 40 meters but i probably have only gone down like maybe 20 or 25 in reality that doesn't sound very deep but i'm sure it is incredibly scary

and dark is it very dark

it depends on what time you're going midnight is it if your eyes are closed or not

but like if you're going down deep enough doesn't it get dark and you have to have a yeah it gets darker and you can't see color as well.

So you need a flashlight to see color.

Oh, yeah, you're all rodent.

Like you start to lose sense.

You know the surface is up, but you can't really see that there's a surface, which is pretty crazy.

Yeah.

How do you know where the surface is?

Just keep going up.

Well, you know where the bottom is and it's the opposite way.

And also because you can increase the buoyancy and then you float.

But you know, you don't lose track of what's up and what's down, do you?

No, you don't.

But

when you go deep enough and then you're coming up, it's pretty crazy because you're like,

shouldn't I be

up on the surface by now?

Like, you kind of even lose the sense of when you're going to break through the water.

Because I, like, if I go, you know, 10 feet down in a swimming pool, I'm like, this is pretty deep.

This is pretty deep.

And I'm, oh, I'll just swim up to the top.

I'm not there yet.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to die.

But also, when you're scuba diving, you're swimming up.

That's one of the

most technical, scariest parts because you have to focus on breathing out the whole time because that's where the pressure is decreasing.

And if you don't, your lungs could explode.

Shit.

So you're the whole time you're just like, don't blow up my lungs, don't blow up my lungs.

Oh, I'm out.

Okay.

They should have the warnings like on cigarette packs.

It's like a photo of your lungs blasting out of your chest.

Yeah, then it would really sink in.

Is it the band?

I guess that's why I don't want this to happen.

Oh, shit.

Is your wife also a scuba diver?

No, she knows.

She's not.

Oh, so what goes on down there?

She is.

It is none of her business.

Exactly.

I've kissed so many fish.

Get over here.

Did you ever see any crazy fish?

Well, I haven't seen any.

A lantern head.

But if you see a lot of fish, which is really cool, if you see a lot together,

and then I've seen an octopus before.

Ah, cool.

It's cool if there's like good.

Sometimes it's not that interesting.

Like here, it's really cold and they're like, you're like, oh, it's a bunch of rocks.

Cool.

But if you're in coral and they can be like beside the coral and just also just being able to move in three dimensions is pretty awesome.

Huh.

I hate three dimensions.

Yeah, I only move in two dimensions.

Yeah, and I don't want to learn how to breathe a different way.

The way I do it now is just fine.

I don't need to learn more deeper outer breaths.

You have your like, what's the mouthpiece of your tank?

A regulator.

Regulator, all right.

And then you take that out and use your inhaler.

Yeah, what?

Okay.

What are the, what's the tank called?

The tank.

Okay, correct.

What's the way you put the regulator in your mouth?

What's that called?

The embouchure.

Yeah, the proper ombouche.

Yeah, you got to make sure the read is all away,

which is easy in the water.

Yeah.

Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Jacob, do we get to all your notes?

No, we didn't get to any of my notes.

Jacob,

I had so much I wanted to say.

A rare guest who brought a page full of notes.

I completely forgot that there was an output.

What do you got in there?

Give us a point by point.

Okay, well, I said my first comedy tour, we did that.

Yeah.

Okay.

I wrote one note about

in our neighborhood, there's like an apartment where there's clearly younger people, and we're all and we're complaining always to them about the noise, and we're on that side of things now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're an older guy now.

Yeah.

This is funny to me because you're just zipping.

These are all great topics.

Well, they're like little notes, you know.

Yeah, yeah, more and more.

I went on tour with Brent Butt.

Oh, yeah.

Doing theaters, and the funny thing.

And when you do theaters, I don't know if you've experienced this, but that's whole bit in Spinal Tap where they're looking for the stage.

You're like, oh, that's so true.

Yeah.

Like every place, you're like, how do I get to the stage?

I might not know how to get out there.

Yeah.

Does Brent Butt get standing ovations?

Or you're gone for the moment.

I think his crowds are pretty set down.

Yeah.

I don't know if he.

I don't know.

We'd have to ask him.

Okay.

Well, he's so modest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, he won't tell.

Um, so you got lost.

Oh, okay.

As a, I throw this as a couple when we were like, now we always like go to parties and weddings.

It's with like as a couple, when you, and then you drink as a couple, right?

And then your conversations after are like very different because you're like, did we, like, what did we do last night?

Like, did we promise another couple we'd go on vacation with them?

Oh, no.

You were talking about scuba an awful lot.

Probably.

All right.

Well, that one you maybe want to work out at a different podcast before you're pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

More?

Do you have more?

I did a woodworking class.

A woodworking class?

Oh, shit.

Okay.

What did you build?

I built two boxes.

Two boxes?

Yes.

Like Amazon boxes?

Yeah.

They're shipping somewhere now.

Where did you do this?

I did it at Edge City Woodworking, which was a very good school.

Okay.

Where's that?

It's on Vennables

and

it's near the railway track.

What's the biggest tool you used?

Oh, table saw.

We use like every kind of tool.

Is table saw the one that you pull down?

Or the one you push through?

Push through.

It was like being like the guy who did his, used to be a shop teacher.

Yeah.

It was like going right back into shop class.

Yeah.

Did you take shop class?

I did

at some point for sure.

Did you?

Yeah.

I never did.

But I didn't do it.

Use a lot of these tools.

I was so bad at it.

I hated it so much.

But the whole time, I was like, like, just don't cut off a finger.

Like, yeah.

Just

full focus.

Because they're supposed to, if they touch skin, they stop automatically.

They're supposed to.

Yeah.

But it's.

But how does it know?

How does it know that it's human skin and not just something throwing a hot dog?

Wouldn't it stop at a hot dog?

That's the thing.

I saw a video of somebody doing, you know, that like ballistic gel.

They did that and it didn't stop.

So

maybe it's like the charity.

Maybe it was something with electricity.

Oh,

yeah.

But I know, but if you do do that, it costs a lot of money to fix it.

Oh, so he's like, don't do that.

Yeah.

Not worth it.

Yeah, you have to decide in your head.

Thumb or machine.

Yeah, and it's so hard.

Woodworking is so hard.

I knew it was hard, but I didn't know it was this hard.

Yeah.

I don't.

Did you get a little

callous on the hands?

No.

Did the boxes turn out nice?

They did turn out nice, except one of them I did mess up a cut.

So something's like there's a little curve in like the lid now what uh what are you keeping these boxes records uh i have i was gonna keep cigars

now which i think is quite appropriate are you a cigar man i do like an occasional cigar you ever know when you're at a party and you you and your wife like you're smoking

cigars yeah

and you come home afterwards and you're

what happens

why are we all smelling cigars yeah the smell's a big problem but it is like it is i hate to tell you the smell's nice the smell's the best part You can smoke them for a while.

It's just great, especially with comedians.

There's a couple other comedians.

Yeah, exactly.

When I was a kid, I legitimately thought in order to be a comedian, you had to smoke cigars, that that was just like part and parcel of the comedian experience.

And you're proving it to be true.

You would never smoke a cigar on stage, would you?

No.

Oh, man.

Now I want to see.

I don't think that amount of coughing would be good for the show.

Well, what if it's an outdoor?

What if it's an outdoor?

Oh, you're coughing.

Yeah.

The audience is coughing.

It wouldn't look very cool.

Yeah.

Also, you're probably not allowed anywhere.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe outdoors you could.

Outdoors, or if you go to some other country that they, they don't worry about non-smoking.

I'm going to Russia and I'm going to

do it for just so I can do my cigar comedy.

Cuba, Cuba.

They are a lot of people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you, you got a whole breathing

situation going on in your notes.

That's pretty good.

Cigar, scuba.

Anything else?

Okay, they make cigar aficionado magazine.

They make guitar aficionado magazine.

What other aficionado magazines are there?

And are you into those things?

Yeah.

What else can you be an aficionado of?

We're going to find out.

Aficionado magazines?

No one's like, I'm a vacuum aficionado.

Dyson probably says he is.

If you asked Dyson if he's a Viking aficionado, he would say, get out of my house.

So there's cigar.

Here are the questions.

When you look up cigar or aficionado magazines,

people also ask, is cigar aficionado magazine worth it?

I don't know.

What are they talking about?

It's just like cigars.

We love them.

Yeah, different cigars.

I think it's like hot ones.

They give them a cigar and then.

I just don't know how different, like it's tobacco.

It's dried tobacco.

I looked up aficionado magazine and I'm only getting cigar, but I remember seeing Jeff Daniels on Guitar Aficionado magazine.

I mean, guitar is clearly there's different kinds.

Yeah.

Dennis Quaid on the cover, Tom Calicio on the cover of Guitar Aficionado.

Who's that?

He's from Top Chef.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

He should be on the cover of Garlic Aficionado.

But I think

there's different types of cigars, aren't there?

Like internationally different areas of cigars.

Origin cigars?

Yeah, there are.

I'm sure.

There's different of make, like, I don't know, drying it, I'm sure.

I really don't know that much about them.

Well, one of these days we'll share a cigar together.

We'll go to a humidor and we'll just

have a nice big smoky cigar.

I can't find what I'm looking for.

I'm like freaking bono over here.

The bono of Google.

On one of the magazines, it was like, cigar aficionado.

Still smoking in delivery room or no?

The top deliverers in the world.

Still handing out cigars?

What did just happen?

What really happened to those three men of Orient R when they tried to write that rubber cigar?

Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Well, here's an update.

I talked a few weeks ago about little public or little free libraries.

Oh, yeah.

Cute as hell.

Yeah, here's

recently picked up Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Oh, nice.

That's a good find.

That's a win.

Have you read it before?

Yeah.

Nice.

This is something for my something to pass down to my kids oh nice that's nice yeah

um i mean the biggest the hit we've gotten is the um second hunger games book okay

yeah yeah um

is it she had already read the first and then i while she was reading while she was reading the first i was like oh my god they had the second this is gonna save me 17

yeah yeah

uh i don't think i've ever taken one from a library i've i've browsed yeah I don't think I've ever seen something that I wanted to.

Do you still prefer physical books as opposed to like,

you know, a Kindle?

Yeah, or iPad?

iPad, I find, that's how I read a book is on iPad, and I find it reflecty.

Yeah, I love it.

It's also bright.

I like a Kindle.

Yeah.

Because it's

can read it in the dark.

And it's very small, and it doesn't hurt my eyes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I do like a physical book.

I like the, like, like, you can get a really big book, but it doesn't take up any weight.

It's nice, but I don't like the screen element of it.

Right.

But I tend to read a lot on it.

On the

iPad.

It's also bad too because you're like, I also, I can just click on the internet as well.

Yeah.

That's why I like a computer.

Yeah.

I like a Kindle because it's you get drift over.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Let's just check out five hours of Instagram.

Yeah, let's see what Mr.

Beast is up to today.

So the other thing that's going on with me is I've been noticing

more and more AI stuff on Facebook.

Yeah.

Like drawings and such.

Renderings.

Yeah, photos.

So what I get a lot is photos of

like

an old man.

And it's saying, this is you.

No, and it's like,

this is his 97th birthday.

He's a World War II veteran.

Everyone, wish him happy birthday.

And all the comments are, God bless you, sir.

It's the worst AI picture you've ever seen.

And millions of people being like, thank you for your service.

Yeah, I'll see

a lot of like fanfic posters that are done with AI.

Like they look, you know what I mean?

Like they look like the person, but it's also a cartoon.

You know what I mean?

Like

that weird kind of like

Womer Simpsons.

I see a lot of, I get a lot of weird, I don't know if it's AI, but things of like actors aging.

Like, here's what they used to look like.

But then the old picture is a real picture, but they've AI'd it.

I find it a weird transition from Instagram to Facebook.

Like Instagram, I sort of feel like, okay, I understand why I'm seeing what I'm seeing in terms of the algorithm, what it's feeding me.

But then in Facebook, it just feels like the algorithm has gone into crazy place.

Right.

Like, it feels like it's like tabloid.

Yeah.

I get some pretty, I get some pretty weird stuff on Facebook and Instagram.

What was the thing?

Well, so I got one the other day that was, here's the cast of Full House then and now.

And

it was a cast picture of Full House from the 80s or 90s, but it was,

they had just put a sheen of AI over top of it.

Right.

And then it was all of the actors today, except Bob Sagitt was still alive.

And Mary Kate and Ashley Olson was Elizabeth Olson.

What?

Yeah.

It's like AI cannot quite stick the lambing.

And then what was the one I saw today?

Because I

don't know.

This is not even AI.

This is a picture of

six generations in one photograph.

Oh, yeah.

From seven weeks old up to 111 years old.

But the account.

God bless you, sir.

Well, the caption says, what a beautiful, adorable, amazing family.

God be with all of you and watch over you.

And the account name is

funkiest shit ever.

What?

Yeah.

Well, speaking of algorithm things, this is something I...

Like,

they put something out there and you click on it and then they're like, you like this, and it becomes a vicious circle.

Is uh

like slap competitions,

like power slapping for you for me.

And I've I've watched it enough times and I'm like, is this guy going to get knocked out or is he not?

So, yeah, I get a lot of those.

Because I get the inside of RVs in vans.

And they get me everywhere.

I'm like, I want to see what's in this van.

Yeah.

Do you think you'll ever be an RV guy?

No, none.

But like a tiny, maybe a tiny cabin guy.

Oh, yeah, sure.

You do like tiny little cabins.

out there smoking your cigars.

That was a tiny cigar for a tiny cabin.

Yeah.

Oh, they do have e-bike aficionado magazine.

So the other,

the thing I see a lot, it's not slapping, but it was this, it must have been like a TikTok trend or something.

And it's like families, they fill their mouths with water.

Okay.

And then which you shouldn't do in scuba diving.

No.

Yeah.

That's the opposite.

Something's gone wrong.

That's the opposite.

When you're down there, are you ever like, I'm so thirsty?

No, but it does.

But being in the ocean does make you want to and need to pee.

Like, there's something about the pressure.

Like, it just all of a sudden you're like, I got to pee.

But aren't you, like, supposed to?

Or are you supposed to hold it?

I like doing the wetsuit.

Yeah.

You just go for it.

What's the difference between a wetsuit and a dry suit?

Oh, well, the level of moisture.

Okay.

No.

So a dry suit has

the wet.

The wetsuit, like, water soaks in it.

It still keeps you warm.

But the dry suit, you have air.

So, like, you're literally like, when you go in a dry suit, you're in your clothes underneath the dry suit, and you're completely dry.

You can't pee in that, then.

No.

You don't want to do anything of that.

Don't want to do anything?

Can you fart?

No, well, I mean, big bump changes, yeah.

But you could release the air.

You could release the air.

All right.

Can you release the whiz, though?

No.

No.

So funny.

Oh, oh yeah so it's people with their mouths full of water and then uh it's like a family gathered in the kitchen and then they are slapping each other in the face with tortillas tortillas i saw the tortillas and then uh you know someone starts laughing they all spray water the spraying water is gross yeah but it's fun it's fun but um you know we're come on covet guys yeah yeah yeah exactly what the hell um have you seen like you watch a video when it's like the person hurts themselves or something You're like, How did that, why did they then like say, like, up it goes?

Yeah, let's post this.

You know, it just like fell off a counter.

I actually see some videos.

You're like, I'm pretty sure that person died.

I think this is someone dying.

And their friends are like, let's post the.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's nobody around to stop.

You would have wanted to get the hits.

My favorite of those is the woman who's like crouching down to get pickles out of the

fridge.

And she

undoes the lid of the pickles and then then falls backwards, and the pickles and

Brian all dump on her face.

Yeah, what's your favorite pickle?

Yeah, what's your favorite pickle, first of all?

Oh, a classic kosher pickle.

Sour, like Bubby's pickles.

That's the only brand that really has them in this city.

Right.

Yeah, they're not sweet.

It has to be sour.

It's got to be sourced.

Would I recognize Bubby's?

Are they sold in the aisle or in the refrigerated side?

Refrigerated.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

There's a a bubby on them.

So they're not shelf-stable.

No, no.

Okay.

Which probably means they're fresher.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, God, no, I want a pickle.

Fuck.

We got some bubbies upstairs.

No, nice.

We can all have cigars and pickles.

Oh, disgusting.

The Vlasic store.

He holds the pickle electricity.

Is it like Bill Aficionado?

I thought, probably.

I mean.

Why wouldn't there be?

AI, get on it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, I'm sick of this AI

stealing my job.

Going back to the tour thing when I'm running, when you run ads now on Facebook,

so I'm running ads to promote my tour and special recording.

And then Facebook is like, oh, do you want us to take your

stuff and make AI version?

They're even like, hey, what instead of the picture you uploaded, we just put up an AI picture and see if that works better.

And you're like, what are you going to show people in my stead?

Like,

we'll just generate a random picture and just see like...

Come see the six-fingered comedian.

Like, maybe instead of the poster, it says the time and date of your show, we'll do a video of a family slapping each other.

And that's what she does.

Yeah.

What is the...

Do we ask what the image is of the poster?

It's not of the show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You said he made a poster.

Oh, yeah.

No, actually, I got Nima, past guest Nima Golomapur to make a poster.

Okay.

He designed it.

It's just

the title of the show.

And like, it's a picture of me.

Yeah.

It's not.

Are you doing something funny?

No, I'm just holding a mic.

That's pretty frustrating.

I mean, it's stand-up comedy.

That's all it takes, man.

Yeah.

Did you bring your own stand?

No.

I would.

A mic stand?

Yeah, I don't want to go to a venue and have those cool, crappy guitar.

Yeah, it's true.

Yeah, you need a round-bottom mic stand.

Yeah.

But I think so far it's been all good.

Every place has had them.

Okay.

I wish you the best in that regard.

Thank you.

Doing a show

with the tripod stand you don't like?

Well, I don't play the guitar.

So

it always folds in on itself.

Sure, but it's not.

What does that have to do with guitar?

Oh, I thought that you like have them, they can be bent up and put where a guitar is, right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's just guys, you guys are guitarists.

There's two things.

I'm sort of an efficient auto-well, I mean, like, stand-up, you obviously need a light and a sound system, but no mic with a switch that goes on and off, and no tripod stand.

Because if a mic has a switch on it, inevitably, it's like Murphy's Law.

Someone's going to turn the mic off by accident and be like, the mic's off.

What do I do?

Yeah.

And like, and then everyone in the audience is like, oh, you're just all amateurs right now.

Yeah.

It's watching an amateur kind of deal with the microphone is wild.

Like somebody who's very new to it, like trying to put it back in the stand, taking it out of the stand,

making a wedding speech.

Fucking around with it.

Like,

okay, do your last joke after you put the thing in the stand.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, oh, yeah, and then I'm a so-and-so.

And then you have to walk off to silence.

Yep.

Just like you walked up to it.

Yeah.

Well,

for a while now, I've stopped putting the mic back in the stand before the last joke because I feel like there's that lead up where now you're setting up the last joke to fail because you're like, this is the last one?

Yeah.

But the music cube ready.

Putting the mic back in is always like an awkward thing.

I always like

the comedian having to time whether they have time to drink water in the laugh break.

Yeah.

If I need it, I just go for it now and I let that silence sit there.

Yeah.

I'm like, I need my water.

Yeah.

I think past guest Aleister Ogden has a whole bit about that, that one day he hopes to say a joke so funny that he's able to drink a glass of water before

the laughing stops.

He's opening for me in Toronto.

So maybe I'll report back if he does it.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh man, if he doesn't and then you can't.

Shit.

Now you're the opener.

Come to those shows just to see if Alistair can tell a joke so funny that he can take a drink of water.

That sounds pretty good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's talking to you, the audience.

We're not covering to the shows.

We're not flying to Toronto for this.

Graham, before we get to know what's going on with you.

So I gave an update on my

little free libraries.

Yes.

I need you to give us an update on where are you on your Sopranos?

Sopranos Rewatch.

Excellent.

Or not rewatch.

First time.

You're re-watching it for the first time.

Really?

Yeah.

I had seen episodes and I know the general structure of the show.

So where I am is a gentleman named Big Pussy had disappeared.

And it was around the time that they thought he might be a snitch.

So he disappeared.

And now he's just shown up again.

Oh, is this season two?

Season two.

So he's just arrived.

Uncle June's in jail.

The sister shows up for the first time.

Adriana?

No.

The hippie one.

Yeah, what's her name?

She's awful, but she's so.

Oh, Dannis.

Danis.

aware of it.

She's so, yeah, it's a great character.

Aida Torturo.

Yeah, she's so good.

And you're just like, oh, man, I can't believe there's going to be several seasons of the world.

The first season, I tried watching it a couple of years ago, and I watched the first season.

The stuff with his mom is like, it's like that whole arc is like, wow.

Yeah.

Like, it's really deep.

And I know that she passes away because the actor passed away.

But my...

My favorite thing with the Sopranos is like some movies or TV shows, there's like drinking games where you take a drink whenever they they do.

Yeah.

I think with the Sopranos, like you make a sandwich every time they have a sandwich.

Oh, too full.

I feel like it's like with the Sopranos, it's like the craft services was just always in the shot.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're always just reaching over off camera for meat.

And there's like cold cuts all over the place.

Yeah, they do eat a lot of sandwiches on that show.

Pickle sandwiches, man.

Oh, man.

I got to get tired.

Badly do you want to go to that sandwich place they're always going to?

Pretty badly.

And then also we'll stop off at the Bada Bing on the way.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

And why not, you know, go to Fountains of Wayne and

go pick up a fountain for my yard.

Yeah, so that's where I am.

She's just showing up.

Big Pussy's back.

Tony's having...

Oh,

Dr.

Melfie is told him to fuck off because one of her clients...

killed themselves in her absence.

Yeah, so it's good.

Things are ramping up.

And it's the second, the first half of the second season.

So it's,

that show's really good.

End of the theme song, is that how it ends?

When he gets out of the door?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you are watching a show like that, you skip through the intro, right?

No, no, no.

You let it, you let it.

I don't really binge a thing anymore, but right now I'm watching

that Netflix show, The Perfect Couple.

Oh, with Nicole Kidman.

With Nicole Kidman and Liev Schreiber.

Oh.

And it's soapy and fun, and I don't care.

I have one more episode, and I don't care.

What's the plot?

There's a murder at a, they were gather like super rich people in

Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, whatever.

Right.

And they're

there was a murder and they're trying to solve it.

But the

theme song, they do like a choreographed dance.

That's pretty good

on the beach.

And it's like, I watch it every time.

That's great.

I watched an episode of a show that is too dumb for words

because Sally's watching it and then she went to bed, so I just kept watching it.

Was the Mormon Wives?

Oh, Abby's watching that right now.

Oh, man, they're insufferable.

These TikToking

moms and Mormon moms?

The whole

two episodes I watched, the whole thing is they're planning a party.

So they're planning a party for something, and then they're planning a baby shower.

But it's, I can't understand why this is a show.

I mean, because that's easy, keep on watching, like you gotta keep watching, but it's the all the women look like exactly the same.

It's hard to pick out who's what whose character is what.

Oh, exactly.

All Mormons look the same, according to Graham.

Well, in their underwear, maybe.

Yeah, that's true, magical underwear.

Oh, and that's the thing that's weird about because, like, uh, young people, I feel, like, are always trying to figure out like technicalities around things they're not allowed to do.

Okay.

So, one of the things they love doing is drinking pop.

That's like they have like fancy soda parties that they go to, or they have like all different flavors of soda.

Are they not allowed caffeine or not allowed?

Not allowed.

Really?

So iced coffee is okay.

Oh, yeah, I don't know, but that could be one of the technicalities.

Because

I was watching and like, or Abby was watching, and I was in the room, and one of the people's like giving the rundown of what you're not allowed to do.

Your body's a temple.

No tattoos, one piercing,

no caffeine no alcohol and i was like one piercing one interesting and we prefer it to be in a certain place

um yeah it's uh well one of the things they do is these gals all get a botox and they get knocked out with uh laughing gas and that's the only reason they do it is because they get access so that they get high So I'm like, but you're still getting high.

Do you think your God is like a bean counter?

Like, he's like, no, no, you know.

It's so interesting, though, just as a strategy for a culture where you can understand not drinking alcohol because it's like, that doesn't really make us more productive or smarter.

But then, not drinking coffee is like, let's ban the substance that like catapulted society.

You know,

like, I don't even know the history of like when coffee came out, but like all the inventions happened like shortly thereafter.

Guns, germs, steel, coffee.

Anyways, that shows dumb.

But if you want something absolutely to just tune your brain out, make it Mormon wives.

And there's a lot of them.

There's a lot of Mormon wives.

Well, there's also, I got confused because there's also a real housewives of Salt Lake City.

This is Provo.

They're in Provo.

Oh, this is Provo.

I'm anti-Vo.

You are?

Yeah.

What happened?

Me and Vo had a falling out.

Shit.

Sorry to hear that.

So, what's going on with me is I had to go on the BC ferry.

I traveled on a BC ferry twice in one day to Victoria, back from Victoria.

Never done that.

No, neither did I.

And it is a long trip, man.

That is, uh,

and we didn't have reservations either.

So we were.

We actually brought lemons to ward off the scurvy.

Yeah, we, uh, no, I bought lemons on board.

And, uh, you had no reservations?

What are you?

Anthony Bourdain?

That's what we're doing.

We're doing a pilgrimage in his honor.

Um,

but

no reservations.

Is that the

theme song would go?

I think it was John Spencer's Blues Explosion.

Fuck, where's that guy now?

He's got

a long roll of stickers.

What does that mean?

There's, I got.

Okay.

So.

Okay, here we go.

There's this Canadian band called Tristan Psionic.

Okay.

And in the 90s, they had an album in the hidden track, and the album was like 15 minutes of Nardoir saying Tristan Psionic over and over.

And he said they had so many stickers.

It was like a John Spencer Blues explosion.

I see.

Anyway, that was for no one.

It's probably getting confused.

No, there's one person that's like, woo-wee, that finally they're saying something for me.

Finally, something from Sonic Onion Records.

So

on the ferry.

Going over.

Do you drive?

Yeah.

Okay.

Drove going over, top deck, didn't have to get out of the car.

And fucking tastic.

Not in steerage, like the...

Exactly, like the fucking.

That's the advantage of getting a reservation.

Otherwise, also guaranteeing being on the boat.

If you get a reservation, you get top deck.

Top deck rules.

It's awesome you stay in your car.

You don't have to fuck around.

Coming back, didn't get on the top.

Was down in steerage.

Had to go up and socialize with the residential.

So someone comes by and tells you to get out of your car.

Yeah.

If you sit there, there's a lot of people.

Because it's illegal.

Like it's whatever maritime law.

It's immoral.

One tattoo, tattoos,

one peer saying, no caffeine, you got to get out of your car.

So

we went up to the passenger area, and right away we were sitting.

You can either have like seats that are kind of like two and two, or you can sit in the like longer seat section where it's like 10 seats or whatever.

And there was this group of guys.

What day of the week was this?

This is

Sunday.

Oh,

very busy.

Very busy.

Very busy.

No reservation.

No reservation.

No reservation.

And

there were five guys and they were standing around and they were blocking people's way and just people who had no sense of space or who they were, how much they were taking up.

And then they sat down in four different rows.

So they were talking to each other between rows.

Oh, no.

And these guys were like big guys that you could.

Hockey team, sports teams?

Definitely sports team, but coaches of, not

because they were all big.

Oh, big chunky guys.

All coach team.

All coach team.

That's right.

Who coaches the coach team?

So we decided to go in the quiet lounge.

You pay 14 bucks.

You get to go in the quiet lounge.

And it's so nice.

So nice.

Have you ever been in it?

I have.

I used to do the buffet.

That used to be my thing on the fair.

The buffet was a great deal because you paid like 20 25 bucks it was all you can eat yeah but you but it was there were so few people there and you had like a big table yeah and you just sort of like you know tony soprano it yeah sit there

all the meats and all the meats yeah yeah and

you stuck your uh

handkerchief into your collar yeah handkerchief there's no buffet anymore but yeah i would pay for a quiet space 14 bucks It's the best 14 bucks you'll ever spend in your entire life.

It's amazing.

And you're sponsored by BC Ferry?

Absolutely.

What do you think my tattoo on my chest says?

I'm alleged to say that.

John Krzynski comes by and says,

There's monsters around or something.

Yeah, to scare everybody into submission.

But what happened was, we're in there.

There weren't very many people in there, but one guy was talking.

And we were like, what the fuck was that?

And then I looked at the guy, and he

looked like a shaped gorilla.

Like, he was so gigantic.

And he transformed into a shaped gravity.

A shaped robot.

So at first, it was him talking to his

wife or girlfriend or whatever.

And then he stopped.

And then there was more talking.

It was some guy just chatting with his companion.

And then

the big gorilla guy stood up.

Like, I stood up and I was looking at the guy, like, who is it?

And he stood up, and the guy went quiet immediately.

Wait, was Big Gorilla Guy talking already?

He had stopped talking.

He had stopped talking, but he was like, only I'm allowed to talk.

And the guy really went for that rule.

Cause

yeah, big gorilla guy got some got some fucking things going.

Like,

I agree with you, but who are we?

As people?

They were like, okay, we need to go places where we don't have to stand up.

No one's allowed to talk.

Yeah, it's a utopia as far as I'm concerned.

But yeah,

it was great.

Man, that guy became the king of the room pretty fast.

Yeah.

And then the guy who was talking was wearing motorcycle gear.

And when he went over to get food, it was like squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.

So he's making noise no matter what this fucking thing.

On the

trip where you took, where you stayed in the car the whole time.

Yeah.

How many alarms were going off?

Upstairs?

None.

But downstairs, they go off like crazy.

Yeah, but when it is an alarm going off, like what brand of car is it?

Because only ever heard for savings.

They change the announcements.

The announcement used to be like, well, they used to make no announcement, but they would say if

they wouldn't say whatever the license plate was and the make and model of the car.

Now, as you're getting on the ferry, they say, and anyone who's driving a BMW or Audi or whatever,

check your manual to see how you turn off your alarm.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I noticed that when they were announcing alarms, there was a lot of sarcasm in the voice.

There was a little bit of sass going on making fun of the people whose cars were were.

It definitely happened the last few times I've been on.

Like, it's clearly.

But there was one that came on where it was the same car twice, and he was like, Please come

disable your alarm.

It is scaring some dogs.

I hear them say that, too.

Yeah.

Which is, if that's not going to make you take notice, what will, right?

Yeah.

You're fucking up at Dog's Ferry time.

Well, I don't know.

My car's an alpha.

Oh, I can't even imagine what this guy's car.

It must have been a Ford F-150.

Oh, Gorilla Man?

Yeah, Gorilla Man.

I mean, if I know anything about Beast Wars, it's probably a

Femi Drive Prime-style truck.

Oh, man.

Well, should we do some overheards?

Yeah.

Hey, it's Danny from Maximum Fun.

Have you listened to the bonus content for Stop Podcasting Yourself?

There's a 90s music quiz bonus episode that you don't want to miss, and they're releasing two bonus episodes every month.

You can go listen to those right now if you're already a Max Fun member.

If not, any time of year is a good time to support the show by joining Maximum Fun, starting at just $5 a month.

And when you do, you get access to the bonus content for every other Max Fun show, too.

So head to maximumfun.org/slash join and thanks so much for the support.

Overheard.

Overheards.

A segment where if you hear it, boy, oh boy, do we want to hear it too.

And before I forgot, I wanted to plug something off the top.

I'm doing the laugh gallery every day, every day in October.

Every day in October.

30 days?

30 shows.

Wow, they've got rid of Halloween.

Yep.

You mean I'm doing trick-or-treating on Halloween?

No, every Thursday.

Every Thursday, early show, Little Mountain Gallery.

You should be on it.

Get ready.

I'd love to.

You know, get all plumped up for

your special, right?

Work out those kinks, right?

Oh, and there's a lot of them.

Where is the special going to be?

It'll be at the China Cloud.

Oh, it'll be.

When's that?

On November 9th.

Oh, but those shows are all sold out.

Oh, shit.

And the 10th.

We added shows on the 10th.

Congratulations on selling out a show.

The trick is to pick a modestly sized venue.

Yeah, like Little Mountain Gallery, where you can see Graham

every Thursday in October.

Every Thursday in October.

And we'll see if I'm going to do it in November.

I hope so.

Now, we're doing overheards, as I said before.

We like to start with the guest.

You know how this goes.

Do you have an overheard?

I have an overseen.

Okay.

And just for the, we start with the guest, but

anyone calling in an overheard, please refer to our guest as a ghost.

Nothing, yeah, for October.

Yes.

Okay, so this is...

This is something I need to get out there in the world because I keep seeing this and I need to tell people.

So there's a pizza place

on Commercial Drive near where I live.

Yeah.

And there's a bunch of different pizza places, but there's one in particular.

And you go inside and, you know, it's like

decorated with various stuff.

And behind the pizza oven is an Irish flag.

Right.

Which is delicious for pizza.

It's just like, it's like they just clearly.

They're like, what's close to an Italian flag?

Or like, ah, is this orange or red?

I don't know.

Well, that's good enough.

It's close enough.

Yeah, you got to try our pizza, Potato pizza.

Yeah, it just doesn't inspire confidence in the authenticity of the pizza.

That they're like,

you know, we have $5 to spend on a mini flag.

I mean, we could get the Mexican flag and just use white out on the middle.

It's like.

Yeah, because

Italian red, white, and green.

Yes.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

So do you go to this pizza place?

Still do, but every time I'm like, ah, come on.

I want to buy an Italian Italian flag, just be like, this is the right one.

This is the one you mean.

Do they do a potato pizza?

No.

Maybe they do.

I don't know if they do.

Is this like a local joint or is this a.

Yeah, it's a local.

It's a chain.

It's a chain.

Uncle Fatize.

No, it's La Pash.

La Pash.

La Pasha.

I never heard of such a chain.

Yeah.

Wow.

The new kid on the block.

Okay.

Pizza Block.

The Pizza Block.

Maybe they are Irish.

If you're listening, yeah, maybe.

Well, I mean,

there's a good chance people work there.

It might be Irish.

Give me how many Irish people there are.

Yeah, exactly.

A new kid on the Blarney stone over here.

Yeah.

Well,

I was at, I was on commercial drive the other day, and so this isn't my overheard or anything.

I just, I was reminded of this.

One thing I like to do, if I'm ever in America, is go to Target and buy my favorite cereal, Coco Krispies.

But

it's been so long since I've done it.

Does Coco Krispies have a mascot?

I think it's just Snap, Crackle, and Poppin' Blackface.

What?

Very controversial.

But

I haven't gone down to America in such a long time.

And I was just like, oh, I heard that you can get Choco Krispies, which are practically the same

at the, there's like a...

Latin American grocery store on Commercial Drive.

Oh, yeah.

And so they're like imported from Mexico.

Oh.

And so I went there the other day and I was like, okay, there was no price on them.

And they had eight boxes of

Choco Krispies.

And so I found the two that were the least damaged.

I felt like they like, these are just things they bring back in their suitcase.

And so I got, picked up two boxes, took them to the counter, and she rung me up.

There's the two people working there speaking Spanish to each other.

She rung me up, $49.

and i was like oh uh i had no idea and so she says something in spanish to the other person and then rings me up again 33

and i'm like okay i'll get one box yeah one box he's like 49

wow um yeah is uh uh are they

uh Snapcrackle and Pop or are they a completely different thing?

I mean, on chocolate.

they are,

you know, they make the noise.

They're Kellogg's and they make the snap, crackle, pop noise, but I don't.

We were talking before the podcast upstairs about how

this may be a memory of yours as well, going to grandparents and having stale cookies or crackers or cereal.

Was that a part of your youth growing up?

Not

stale, but my grandmother used to always.

My grandmother was very big on combining cereals, which I agree with.

But she always had her cereals.

Yeah, which I agree with.

She was right about that.

And she always had her cereals in these big Tupperware containers.

Yeah, my aunt was like that.

So she would combine them in the Tupperware or would you combine them in the bowl?

She combined them in the Tupperware, but

the thought of doing that never occurred to me.

I was like, you can combine cereals.

Yeah,

my brother would do that with.

We used to get, like, when you would go to 7-Eleven and get a collector's cup.

Oh, yeah.

The big, like a commemorative big gulp cup.

My brother would eat cereal out of that.

And he would mix, like, you know, cinnamon toast crunch and fruit loops or whatever.

Crazy, man.

I've never done this, but now I'm willing to try.

Never combined.

No,

never had a cereal orgy.

This really is something I'm going to try.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to get two distinctly different cereals.

Anyway, I mean,

I have three.

I'm loving chocolate crispies.

I have chocolate crispies with my afternoon coffee every day.

Yeah, because I mean, rice krispies can really fill in a lot of gaps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's yeah, exactly.

It's kind of like it's the mortar.

Exactly.

Yes, yes, yes.

So, my overheard is an overseen.

Okay.

And this is one from the local

our neighborhood, has a Facebook group.

I noticed you joined.

Yep.

Yeah.

Because Alicia Tobin tagged me on it.

So I was like, well, I might as well join.

Alicia sometimes will say, hey, I saw a coyote.

Coyote.

Yeah, coyote warning.

But

this is one from, must have been a few weeks ago.

And it says, hi, neighbors.

This is from an anonymous member of the neighborhood group.

Hi, neighbors.

I went home today and noticed that there were three unopened condoms by my doorstep.

I wonder if there is anyone that had the same experience recently, chose to post anonymously, because it kind of creeps me out.

Yeah.

Having three unopened condoms to me, that's an open condom.

Yeah, exactly.

It's like, that just could have fallen out of my wallet.

I thought it was going to be, does anybody want these?

There's no use throwing them away.

You know, they're still good.

Yeah, that's somebody just fell out of their pocket.

Or they were, you know, they opened them on the way home from the drugstore and they

flew everywhere and they were too embarrassed to pick them up.

Oh, man.

Yeah, that's the.

Maybe it's a new City of Vancouver initiative.

Yeah.

Just leave them, just spread them around.

Safety.

Yeah.

Safe set.

Are you using AI to look at all the houses and which ones have the most

risk for STDs?

Yeah.

I don't hear much about safe sex anymore.

No.

Yeah, exactly.

There's not very many pop stars putting out songs about sex and how to have safe sex.

That was a big part of my youth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you were watching Beast Wars.

We were listening to

Salt and Peppa.

There was

DLC.

They had songs specifically.

And Salt and Peppa on their record had a skit from high school.

Yeah.

And

you probably don't even remember that you could get a free video at Blockbuster that was Arsenio Hall and Magic Johnson talking about HIV.

Yeah.

Do not remember that.

I bet you that's on YouTube.

Oh, that's what I'm going to watch tonight when I get home.

Mormon wives are that.

Those are the two choices.

Mine is an overseen.

I was in a grocery store in Victoria, and there was a little setup table with,

you know, samples samples or whatever.

And it had those gold balloons that have just like dominated Mylar balloons for years and years.

And just the exact angle that I saw it, it looked like it said piss, but the E was just slowly coming around the corner of his pies.

But for a second, I fully was like, piss.

Holy shit.

Somebody's doing it here in the grocery store.

Somebody's fucking around.

I've had a few, like, oh, I almost overseen something, but I misread it.

But I've never stooped to what you just did.

Yeah, it just shows you where my mind is, I guess, on piss.

It's funny.

I've had a few lately, but I can't remember what they are.

What, piss-related thoughts?

No, things where I'm like, oh, does that sign say?

No, it's just a normal sign.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've had a lot of those.

Well, I had one recently.

Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map.

If you want to send one in, send it into spy at maximumfun.org.

And this first one comes from Kate from Seattle.

I was recently in the checkout out of Costco.

You know, you're going to hear some stuff there.

The cashier and attendant were chatting, both nerdy dudes, and I overheard one of them say, you know, you're allowed to go to a Ren fair without an entirely homemade leather outfit.

And in my opinion, that's incorrect.

No, yeah, you have to have an entirely homemade leather outfit.

Yeah, and it's

why bother if you're not going going to do that, right?

That's short for Renaissance Fair.

That is correct.

Yes.

You can actually wear

a beekeeper outfit you have.

Yeah, if you have one.

No one goes to the Renaissance fair with that plague doctor outfit.

Well, probably some,

yeah.

Yeah.

I think the Renaissance came after the plague.

Oh,

stickler.

I think there were multiple.

Actually, I think the plague came back a few times.

Like it was like the McRib.

Like the McRib.

Just sort of based on, you know, the pork prices in the market at the time.

Is that why they're someone pinpointed it, but also they couldn't determine whether it was McDonald's buying so much pork that it affected the pork prices.

Oh, oh, gross.

Wasn't that like a thing in Wall Street in the 80s?

Pork.

Pork futures?

Pork bellies.

Yeah.

Anyways, guys, we could talk about pork all night, but we're here to talk about piss.

That's the meeting we've assembled here for.

This scone comes from Lindsay, don't know where from.

I was driving my kids home from school when we saw a guy riding a bicycle that he clearly modified to have massive handlebars so big that he had to reach up and head height to hold them.

So like giant ape hanger looking things.

And my teenager son said, now that's a sight to see.

Oh man, is that a sight to see or what?

No, that's a sight for sore eyes.

Have you ever seen motorcycles with these?

Did I get these?

Oh, they're huge ones.

Huge ones.

That's what I think.

Yeah,

I for sure have seen those.

I haven't seen them lately.

I see a lot of crazy bicycles because I live in East Vancouver.

There's a lot of like...

Bicycles that are three times as high as they should be.

Yes.

I was at

the

there's a place where you can recycle recycle

car seats, like baby car seats.

Apparently the week I went was the week they do the third Saturday of every month, but not September, apparently.

Right.

But while I was in the park trying to find where I was supposed to drop these things off, there were people playing unicycle hockey.

Oh, weird.

And like,

I guess the stick has to be extra long.

I averted my eyes.

Abs extra hard.

Yeah, do you see any unicycles on your

bike polo league near me?

Yes.

It's the most East Vancouver.

Would you play now that you're a cycle boy?

No, because I don't like the idea of trying to balance on a bike going back and forth.

It doesn't.

Yeah.

Do you ride without your hands on the handlebar sometimes?

No, I can't do that.

Do they use the mallet?

Yeah, yeah, they have little mallets.

Shit.

That means business, man.

Yeah.

They're whacking that thing.

Yeah.

Just whacking that ball around.

Whacking off in the bike polo code.

Is it on concrete?

It's on concrete.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's a fenced off area.

It's you gotta own polo or people with their dogs.

Oh,

okay.

It's an off-leash area?

Not officially, but it's just

any area that is fenced in

that becomes an unofficial off-leash area.

Our dogs aren't good with other dogs, but so we do sometimes let them run around

in a ten court right with you there.

Is your dog

well trained?

Because I remember when you had a puppy, you were like, He's kind of well trained.

I mean, he's okay trained at some things, at some things, no.

So,

maybe overall.

Our dogs are nice, but like unpredictable.

Yeah, my dog's very particular with other dogs.

So, some other dogs he's fine with, and some he does not like.

And I never know for sure which it's going to be.

So, I usually

roll over right away for all the dogs.

He was so submissive.

He was so submissive.

I know.

Yeah, but I feel like my dog never, and he, he's never learned to be submit.

And our two, we have two dogs and they, they

fight.

Well, they don't fight.

They like play fight all the time.

And it is so loud and scary to some people.

It's like constant snarling.

Yeah, snarling and biting, like chomping.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then my dog's just loud.

Like he barks a lot.

And so like with kids, it's just or like young, he's not used to younger kids.

So it's just like, they're like, oh, can we pet him?

Because he's very cute.

Yeah.

He's a, like a, he's a doodle.

And it's just like, no, he's going to make you cry.

Like, probably.

People are not expecting a no when they ask to pet your dog.

Yeah, that's true.

Why are you saying a pet?

No.

And a lot of people who are asking, they're like, I'm not listening to your answer.

Yeah.

I'm going to pet your dog.

Actually, we got him that handkerchief that the city's putting out that where it says it's a yellow handkerchief.

They're trying to get off the ground.

It says, like, I need space on it.

Oh, really?

That's a good idea.

Couldn't you explain it?

Can people wear it?

I'm sure there's a lot of people in Vancouver requesting that.

This last one comes from Brittany in Downington, Pennsylvania.

In the same vein of Dave's boring dreams, I recently had two.

One,

I was watching a baseball game on TV and there was a pitch clock violation.

In the dream.

In the dream.

Wow.

What do you get?

Well, you get, do you get a strike?

I don't know.

Is that a ball?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it'd be a ball.

ball.

Maybe not knowing.

I think you get a strike.

That thing just be like, I'm waiting at the clock of this one

to save my arm.

And the second one was, I'm very excited since I found a really good nail file.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Because when you find one,

you're dedicated to a brand.

I don't think I ever file my nails.

I haven't.

But if I ever do, I borrow Appies.

Yeah.

I have done in the past.

I haven't done it in a long time, but I'm a big

nail cutter.

I keep my nails very short.

Yeah.

That's a fun.

That's a fun Friday night, if you ask me.

Some Mormon wives.

Some clipping.

Some clipping.

Freestyle.

I don't go one nail at a time.

I'll do it.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's how it keeps me interested.

Same with Barsie My Teeth.

I go all over the place.

I used to be like, I would do all 10 at the same time.

And now some days I'll be like, oh, this one's one's sticking out a bit and then

you know i'll cut one nail the next day next time i check oh there's four to do like i don't do a whole hand in the same day do you ever like let a nail go a little bit a little bit too far more more than is regular though i did have a teacher in high school who was a pretty out there teacher and he for sure had a coke nail oh yeah but like is that always going to be the pinky coke nail or is it going to be any it was pinky but then like people are like oh he has a coke nail and i was like maybe he just likes playing classical guitar with one finger.

You don't know.

Let's not judge his guitar.

What is the,

if he's a shop teacher, does the saw stop at the nail?

That's how he cuts his nails.

Wow, that's

Tony Soprano stuff.

In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh, bipod one, like these people have.

Hey, Dave Graham, guest.

This is Brian from Detroit.

I just found somebody's iPhone in the park,

and I called their emergency contact, and it rang like eight times until this person picked up for just long enough for me to hear them on the other end go, Sam, your phone's calling me.

But just to let everybody know, I did get the phone back to them.

Love you guys.

I I don't know what this thing is talking about either.

This emergency contact.

If I lose my phone, it belongs to the sea.

Yeah.

Do you know what he's talking about?

This is a way if you pick up someone's phone and it's locked, you can call the emergency contact number.

Oh, really?

I assumed that, like, I've never done.

I'm just guessing.

If you do what?

Like, if your phone is locked and someone else picks it up,

it can only call like emergency contact number.

Oh.

Well, how does it do that?

I don't know how to do any of this.

I'm just because I'm an educated guess.

Every time I pick up my phone, it knows me.

Yeah.

Like, oh, well, that's your face.

Yeah.

And this, if you squeeze both on the side, then it'll go emergency call.

Right.

But that calls 911.

That's 911.

Yeah.

It's 911.

I assume.

Unless it's my emergency contact.

Huh.

Because I don't think I've put an emergency contact in my phone.

It doesn't even know who I hang out with.

Well, if anyone out there knows

what we should do.

Yeah.

We don't care.

That's like, you got to put that.

It's a emergency contact.

I mean, you're married now, so you can't do this.

That's like in a relationship, that's like a romantic gesture when you're like, you're now my emergency contact.

Oh, yeah.

I've got my I've got her phone number tattooed across my chest.

I still have my ex-girlfriend as my emergency contact.

Don't tell Abby.

Hey, Davin Graham.

This is Adrian calling in with an overheard.

I heard some local elementary school kids on the playground

giving one kid a hard time.

He was wearing Adidas

shirt and Adidas-like track pants.

And a kid, they were arguing, and the other kid pointed to this young man and said, Look at you, you're brand loyal.

Laugh over it.

It's like, it's a new insult.

Oh, man, that is

on the one hand, or do you like,

do you, are you like, yeah, I am.

Big fucking deal.

But also, like, is it worse to have Nike shoes puma socks

I feel like being brand loyal was like the coolest thing you could do when I was on playgrounds.

Yeah, right which was last week

He's got to get on those monkey bars

Look at old New Balance over here

But was it remember being so cool in school when someone had like Nike

Yeah, yeah, you didn't have a brand.

It was not cool.

Oh, yeah, if you didn't if you were just neutral might as well not go to school, honestly.

Now I love a neutral shirt, hat, pant, but

it's still your sneaker heads.

They want a shirt.

Didn't you see like a Benadryl or Benelin?

Yeah, it was Benelin.

What if you're a head-to-toe Benelin shirt, Benelin pants?

This guy's so brand loyal.

He's wearing clothes from a company that doesn't even make clothes.

Yeah, they have a limited issue sneaker that I bought.

Reebok Benelin sneakers.

And here's your final phone call.

Hi, David and Great Man guests.

This is Emily from Cincinnati calling in an overheard.

Me and my boyfriend, Caleb, who's also a bumper, were

hiking in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

And we were walking past this group of eight guys.

It seemed like they were on a bachelor trip or something like that.

And one of them said, I'm getting a boner from all this hiking.

And the second guy said,

That's from all the friction against taint.

Well, off I go.

There's no more surefire way than rubbing that taint.

Yeah.

Climbing a mountain, rubbing that taint.

Getting a boner from all this hiking.

Sure, that's what you're getting from.

Yeah, that's only natural.

It's a natural thing.

They keep us posted on any further boners you get.

I mean, it's how can you not when you have those walking poles?

Oh, yeah.

And your boner knows you can't do anything about it

because you're occupied.

Your boner knows.

Oh, he's got his hands full time to crop up.

Well, that brings us to the end of this episode.

Jacob, tell us where we can find all this information.

You're going on a tour.

Did I mention anything about the tour?

Yes, you mentioned that you're going on a tour.

It's called the Pop Mart Tour.

Yeah.

So

if you go to my Instagram at BY Jacob Samuel, or then you click on my link tree, which is Jacob Samuel Comedy.

There's all the information for the tour.

I'm going to Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal.

And then my recording date is in Vancouver.

And there's still tickets for the shows on November 10th at the China Cloud.

Can I get in there for free because I'm a comedian?

You can.

Yes.

Fuck all you guys.

You have to take away a spot from someone.

No.

I've done two open mics.

Can I get in for free?

Because I'm a comedian.

Yeah.

Yes.

You'll need to hold a camera and no tripod.

Yeah, no, I'll follow you on stage and do some audience shots as well.

Yeah.

And my first special is still on YouTube.

It's called horsepower, two separate words.

Yeah.

But all the, just if you all my stuff's on the socials, so find him.

It's on the socials, find him on his link tree.

Jacob, also a very funny cartoonist.

He's he sat down, he's sitting underneath a cartoon he himself made.

I totally forgot that you had that.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's a hilarious.

I thought I told you as you sat down and you just didn't seem impressed.

Oh, no, I was not listening.

I was not listening.

I'm sorry.

But it's a picture of a man throwing a paper airplane.

It's you.

It's labeled you.

Oh, yeah, it's me.

But it's not you, Jacob.

It's you, the reader.

You, the reader.

Your idea is the paper airplane, and the internet is a bunch of flames.

Yeah.

Sea of fire.

Yeah.

Sea of fire.

Love it.

Thank you for being our guest.

Thanks for having me.

Of course.

And thank you, all you out there.

As Dave said, when you call in, we want to hear Ghost only for October.

Hello, and then for November, roast.

Yeah, so it's ghost, roast, and then toast.

Because at Christmas, you have toast.

These are the things that we're hoping you get into a big way.

And this is based on the word guest.

Yeah.

Toast.

Ghost, roast, toast.

And come on back next week for another episode of Stuff Podcasting Yourself.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.