Episode 863 - Yumi Nagashima

1h 37m
Comedian Yumi Nagashima joins us to talk Katy Perry, jitter juice, and monster trucks.

Listen and follow along

Transcript

Hi, he's Dave Shumka.

And he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 863 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who I just love seeing him in the fall.

Dave Shimka.

I know it's not technically the fall yet.

The recording is still a couple more days.

Yeah.

A couple more days.

We got to wait until 22nd.

I know, but I want it now.

I know.

I looked at the forecast.

Oh,

it's going to be nice and cool.

It's not fall yet.

Oh, it's still going to be sunny and hot?

In the last couple days,

I've been kind of chilly in the morning, but then very sunny in the afternoon.

Yeah.

This is like the best podcasting because people are are gonna people first of all don't live here second of all don't want the weather is irrelevant to them yeah and also the weather that we're talking about in the future will be in the past at the time of this episode anyway this one's coming out we're getting we're at the the coming out at the beginning of spooky season yeah and i can't wait all the the all the stores changed over to halloween in august i feel like july august now is the lead up um

boy we'll talk about halloween in a bit as we always do.

Sure, sure.

Well, and then we'll talk about the weather.

Our guest today, a first-time guest here on the podcast, very, very funny comedian, will be touring all across Canada as part of the Hungry for Laughs tour.

It's Yumi Nagashima.

Hello, Yumi.

Hello, Graham.

Hi, Dave.

Hi, Yumi.

Thank you so much for having me.

Of course.

This is such a pleasure.

Should we get to know us?

Yeah.

Get to know us.

Okay, we got to get to know all about you, me, because you haven't been on the show before, so we need to dig into your past, what kind of scandals you've been a part of.

I was asking you before the show, you're from Japan.

You've been in Canada for 18 years,

and that's it.

That's all I know.

Wow.

Yeah, we don't do a lot of research.

We just like to

say Graham's word.

So a few weeks ago, I was in the grocery store and I saw Graham.

I never see Graham out in public.

I was buying a bag of jujups.

You were in the bulk area buying jujupes.

Yeah.

And he said we should have this Yumi on.

Yeah.

That was your idea?

No, no, no.

That was my idea.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I never heard of you.

Makes sense.

Yeah.

But you are your stand-up community.

How many years have you been stand-up for?

Almost nine years.

Nine years, okay.

My first set was 2015 october 20th october 25th wow chino cafe and how did it go how was the first you it went really well yeah yeah but like when i was like waiting for my turn i was so nervous i thought i would faint oh yeah have you ever fainted before no me neither

but it seems like it'd be pretty cool yeah that's true

i'd faint a lot um yeah it doesn't take much to get well i do a lot of like, I do it on purpose.

For attention.

I go upside down.

Intentionally.

Yeah, I like hang upside down and then quickly go stand straight up and then I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That Kino Cafe is no longer with us.

It was briefly another restaurant and now it's a new restaurant that is sushi tacos.

Or no.

What's it called?

It's like sushi tacos.

Yeah.

What?

It's called

isn't it called sushi tacos?

Miso taco.

And there was, yeah, this kind of upscale restaurant moved in to where the Kino was.

Oh.

Renovated the whole thing.

Like it was a brand new looking place.

Oh, I have to go.

Yeah, and then they went out of business.

And then now this place has gone in.

And yeah, even if you're just walking past it, just take a look in the window and see it's like.

Miso tacos.

Miso taco.

But the quino, not a trace of it.

No.

It's all gone.

Only in our memories.

Only in our memories, yeah.

Yeah, the first time I did Stanhope in vancouver was at what used to be a yak yak's which has closed so many years ago i'm just looking up what their menu is is it miso tacos miso tacos yeah yeah it's um

they're getting some pretty good plug here yeah

teriaki cheesy taco oh tuna to taco okay oh i like it so japanese taco

mexican oh fusion they would call it yeah they were

um

And you,

were you like one of the people that when you started comedy, you had friends that came out and saw you, or were you just like, I'm just doing this completely?

Nobody knows I'm doing this.

No,

nobody knew.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's how I did it, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Back then, I was dating Byron Bartram.

Byron Bartram, yeah.

Yeah.

And then he, like, our second date, he took me to the keynotes.

Oh, he waited for the second date.

yeah

where he was headlining yeah and i was like that was my first time right seeing stand-up comedy ever oh really yeah in japan like we didn't have like really like stand-up like english stand-up comedy right so that was like my very first time and i was like whoa this is so cool yeah it's like one person and then one microphone and then 45 minutes like full entertainment yeah yeah it was like i want to do that.

So, like, right away, you were like, I want to do this.

Yes.

Nice.

Yes.

And I was already starting like acting a little bit beforehand.

Yeah, you're an actor as well.

Yes.

Yeah.

But like, it was like always a little bit

difficult because like my roles were super limited because of my accent.

Right.

Accents, like, I have like more

accents.

Yeah.

More than one.

You know,

you got other accents?

No.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Some people can like to hear you do like Italian.

Yeah.

One day I'm walking tours.

Yeah.

So like, and then like when I was like finding the like perfect outlet.

Yeah.

And then like, I,

then I saw stand-up comedy and the owner, that's Steve, he was like, would you like to try

like three minutes set?

Because I have never seen a Japanese lady does stand-up comedy.

Yeah, neither do I.

Yeah, and like, yes, is there so there's no such thing as stand-up in Japan?

No, what is is there live comedy in any way?

Like, we do have like comedy scene.

Um,

it it's really big in Osaka area, but it's like more like slopsticks style.

Like, there's always like straight man and then funny man, right?

And then, like, we do it in Japanese so like sense of humor is very different it's more like physical and then right yeah it's like over the top and then

stand-up comedy recently it's getting big in Japan too like maybe like the last five years

okay do you go back ever and just dominate as being

no just to say anything anymore that's true

yeah I went back like three years ago.

Yeah.

And did like set

at like very first English stand-up comedy

club in Tokyo called Tokyo Comedy Bar.

Okay.

Yeah.

That was like

three years ago.

Yeah.

And you

travel a lot for stand-up.

You've been all over the world.

I think that did you go on tour somewhere?

It was in Singapore or something like that?

Yes, like that was last year I did like Singapore, Malaysia, and

Indonesia.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also the Emirates.

Have you been to?

Or Dubai?

Yes.

You know what?

It's so funny.

I was listening to some of the episodes from your podcast.

Oh, yeah.

I

do.

No, thank you.

It's like now I have to listen to every single episode.

Oh, good.

We do get people saying, hey, I'm starting from the beginning.

I've really just discovered you guys.

Yeah, and get hooked.

Yeah.

Well, we've got many hours.

Yeah.

And I've listened to, like, first I listened to Charlie Demir's episode.

All-time favorite.

And then, yes, and then I've listened to Kevin Lee.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, he has so many episodes with you guys.

Yeah.

And then like, and then like it.

automatically went to like Dave Maharch.

Yep.

And then like he and then like where he was talking about like he just performed at Dubai

Comedy Festival.

And he was saying, like, you guys are talking about, oh, I have one friend.

She's about to go to

me.

And I was like, but Dave was like, I don't think Yumi knew I did Dubai Comedy Festival.

Right.

And then, like, she just thought because I'm Lebanese, like, you know, like, she thought

I would have contacted.

But, like,

to be clear, I knew they did a Dubai comedy festival.

Yes.

Was it the same one?

Did you do the same festival?

No, I didn't do like comedy festival.

I just like randomly like pitched to like one comedy booker that I wanted to do like an hour show.

You pitched yourself?

Yes.

Boy, that's man.

I wish I could do that.

I thought you said I want to do an hour show.

Yes.

In Dubai.

Yes.

And then like I I was like.

And the guy was just like, well, yeah, I was just sitting down to do this.

Had an empty hour.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, like the guy knew the booker in Indonesia, Jakarta.

Okay.

And they are good, really good friends.

And I did show for his friend before in Indonesia.

So

like he had some like, okay, like,

she's not bad.

Yeah, she's not bad.

She did an hour at my festival.

Because like, I feel like I saw a picture of you at some point riding on a camel.

Yes.

Which is gross?

Or is it fun?

It was really fun.

Yeah.

It's really tall.

And like, the hardest part is like when you get off the camel.

Yeah.

Because they had to kneel the front leg and then like

it becomes like really like just falls over yeah so like

you have to use like really your arm strings yeah to hold yourself

yeah geez like uh because I've like have you ridden any animal when I was a kid they took us to at school called to a place they call like butterfield acres and got to like ride on a horse for like 10 minutes and I was like this is not for me this is freaking me out I don't know if this animal decides to run away I got nothing I got nothing at all you I don't think I have.

Maybe I've been on like a.

What about a dog when you were a kid and you kind of go, yeah, yeah, right.

I don't know.

Maybe.

That counts.

Maybe a pony at some point.

I don't know.

Was this your first time like riding an animal?

Oh,

no, I have like ponies and horses before.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Like,

since you've been over here or back in Japan?

In Japan.

Really?

We have this like kids

kind of like farm thingy that you can touch.

That's what I went to as a kid.

I got to milk a goat.

It was very weird.

It's very weird because it's so warm.

Yeah.

And you have to

be like firm with it.

Yeah, you got to squeeze it a little bit.

And you don't want to do that.

Yeah, but the goat loves it.

Hey, can you come back tomorrow?

I think my sisters rode like a miniature elephant in Thailand.

Oh, wow.

What do you mean miniature?

Well, it was like,

I don't know what you would call it, but it was like

just a, I guess the breed of elephant over there aren't gigantic.

Like a teacup elephant kind of situation.

Yeah, about as big as a, as tall as a horse, man.

As tall as a horse, yeah.

That sounds cute.

Going on another, like an animal, a horse, or especially a camel, like, did you just, like, I would freak out.

I wouldn't be able to do it.

Did you like, but did you just like hold on to the reins?

How did it just you on it?

It wasn't somebody else on it as well, or was it?

No, there was my partner behind me.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So there were two people ride.

Yeah.

What is the what animal would you like to ride?

That's a good one.

I want a dolphin.

Yeah, I was going to say dolphins are pretty good.

I don't think it's possible.

No, well, you know, they pull people around in pools and stuff.

They pull people around and they're.

But they're like.

But they can flip it around on you pretty quick.

Yeah, so

you'll be wearing the harness.

I have a vision that I'm gonna ride on orca whales.

Oh, nice.

Okay.

Yeah.

They're scary though.

Yeah.

If you fell off you'd be in big trouble.

You mess up some yachts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's funny that everybody like

you know, and rightfully so,

are afraid of sharks.

But like killer whales are like, they kill sharks all the time.

Sharks are afraid of that.

Yeah.

But because they look so beautiful, we're like, Yeah, and so big.

Yeah.

But

magnificent.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But if you, if they thought you were a seal, you'd be dead.

Yeah.

Do you ever take the ferry?

Yeah.

And do they ever like shout out?

Shout out.

Like, hey, shout out to whales.

Do they ever like call out, like, hey, look over the left side of the boat.

There's a gray whale or whatever.

Yeah.

I saw one last time.

You did.

Just the spout from like a million miles away, but I was like, like,

I think that's what they're talking about.

Yeah.

Sometimes you'll see like

video of somebody that's like on a paddleboard somewhere and they see like a gray whale just come up and like breach right next to them.

I wouldn't like that at all.

I mean, majestic is all hell, but right.

I just did like Rifflandia

in Victoria and then they flew us with like helijet.

Oh, yeah, it was so cool.

That's nice.

And I was like right behind the

pilot.

Yeah.

And then like there was one time like he was like, he knocked the glass

in my area.

Yeah.

And he's like,

and then like they appointed and I looked at it and there was an ochre.

No.

Yeah, it was so cute.

Yeah.

Have you ever been on a helicopter before?

No, that was my first time.

Because I did the same like a couple years ago for a gig.

They were like, well, we'll helicopter you over and send you back on the helicopter.

It's so weird.

Seeing on a helicopter is so strange.

I've never done it.

I've never been on a camel.

I've never been in a helicopter.

These are a bucket list.

Yes.

I don't know if I ever want to be on a camel.

Yeah.

And the helicopters, I mean, there's just no way, Ryan.

As you're walking up to you, you're like, my head's going to get chopped off.

Yeah, it was so weird, like, how they

fly at least like upwards.

Yeah.

There's no takeoff.

No.

Just like floats.

Yeah.

And then it's like 10 minutes or something from Victoria to here, yeah, yeah, but it was more like 30 minutes.

Well, not the one I took, I took a fast

drain fainted in the middle.

That's uh super fast, super fast.

They didn't, they didn't know that I was a stand-up comedian, they thought I was a

an ambassador or something.

Because we live near the hospital, like there's

I guess they're flying in organs.

Like, I see them every day, yeah, helicopters, yeah.

I uh

I was listening to a podcast about somebody who got a transplant.

It sounds heavy duty.

Yeah.

Getting a new

organ.

If anybody out there is looking on

GG or something.

Yeah, I don't even feel good when I get a new weave.

I feel so weird.

This is someone else's hair.

Just figuring you in a weave.

Also, it's all kind of because they like sew it into the back here and you just can see it on the back.

But I'm still short on the front.

That's a pretty good visual.

Yeah, and they don't have enough hair to like hide where it's attached.

Have you ever had a weave?

Yes.

Yeah.

What's it like?

Does it feel weird?

It felt

like I had so much hair.

Yeah.

And so hard to like wash that.

Yeah, how do you wash them?

That's you don't take them off and then run them under the thing no

they're human hair right yeah

like um and then do you

like if you put your hair in the ponytail can you see the where it's attached or like yeah so you have to keep your hair down to hide it yeah yeah basically like you can show it when like you just get it done it kind of looks cool like it looks like braise right yeah but it's when you start it to grow it's kind of like like

yeah yeah and then like it doesn't look cool.

And yeah, how long do you keep one in before you have to get it re-

If you take really good care of them, like you can keep them like for half a year.

Half a year?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I thought they were a thing that lasted like a couple of weeks.

No, no, no.

We were watching, my daughters and I were watching the Katy Perry video for Swish Swish.

Is this a new one?

No, this one's, this was like at the beginning of her downfall.

People have been pointing to her downfall recently, but it's she's been but isn't she back?

No, no, no, she's back in the worst way.

Oh, I thought that like Taylor Swift was dancing to her at the VMAs or something.

Oh, maybe at the VMAs.

Maybe she's back in the last week, but before that, yeah, she was falling down, but I feel like she had the Taylor Swift, you know, check market.

Well, maybe.

But anyway, we're watching Swish Swish, which is Swish Way, Swish, Swish,

which is a video that has it's they're playing basketball.

Oh, yeah.

And there's tons of celebrity

LeBron James in it.

No, Carl Anthony Towns, the basketball player.

That's the only basketball player.

Oh, Bill Walton is also in it.

Sure.

And then Gronk is in it.

The backpack kid is in it.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I seem to remember this.

Yeah.

Molly Shannon's in it.

Terry Cruz is in it.

And then.

Do you know this song or video at all?

No.

Me neither.

Yeah, I'm getting the same information.

Yeah, well, I mean, if you don't know it, I'll sing a little bit.

Tiger.

Don't need no sleeper.

Anyway, that's good.

That's serene correct.

Thanks.

Yeah.

And then, but at one point, Nikki Minaj comes out and does a rap.

Right.

And her hair is down to her like calves.

Oh, shit.

Like past her knees.

And one of my daughters goes, That's not her real hair.

But like if your

real hair starts growing and that doesn't grow, do you have to keep it keep getting it cut to the same length?

Like I just really have to get it cut?

No, like cut your regular hair or do you have to get it cut?

No, because like it's kind of like attached to your real hair.

Right.

So it grows as your real hair grows.

Right.

Okay.

So oh, it moves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It doesn't grow though.

It's not still alive, is it?

Well, sometimes.

Yeah.

Well, is it good?

Did you?

Did I ever get a weave?

Did you end up buying that dreadlock?

Wasn't there someone selling dreadlocks?

Yeah.

Where was I?

I was at a fair and somebody had...

Oh, no, it was online.

It was somebody that had a bunch of dreadlock, white people dreadlocks on like a hanger and let you weave it into your own hair.

Whoa.

Yeah.

That's a big commitment.

Yeah.

Did you do it?

No, I just saw it online.

See, I like,

did you do it?

No, I would.

And I didn't.

I would have if I was a teenager.

I honestly, what is it?

What dreadlock costs?

Money or social-wise?

Money.

What is this person asking for?

Oh, I don't know.

Probably 10 bucks a dreadlock or two for 20.

Well, that's not a deal at all.

Three for 30.

Three for 30, all the way up to 100 for 10.

Oh, I've been told I look like Katy Perry.

Yeah, okay.

By whom?

And I also been told I look like Andy Kaufman when I do

Andy Kaufman?

No way.

Did you know who that was?

No, I didn't know.

But I saw right now.

And that's probably what my kids always want to watch.

Katy Perry videos and Andy Kaufman videos.

Yeah, it's very similar.

Can we do Mighty Mouse tonight?

You like Annie Kaufman now, right?

Yeah, like I've seen

like some people tell me like I have like, oh, she must have got the influence, influence from Andy Kaufman.

Oh, because he does the

whatever voice.

I don't know what the voice is called.

Yeah.

That same kind of vibe.

Yeah.

And then like, then I started watching his set.

So like, and also I see like,

oh, what's his name?

Danny DeVito.

Or you just been watching Texas.

He did the Andy Kaufman's.

Jim Carrot.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

I saw that.

And then I was like, oh, interesting.

Yeah.

There's another, because of the Saturday Night Live movie, there's another guy portraying it.

Oh, wow.

It's going to be one of those big roles of our generation, like the Joker.

Yeah, everybody will get a chance to play Andy Kaufman or Tony Clifford.

Yeah, do you know all about his

non-stand-up stuff?

I don't.

Non-stand-up private life?

No, just, I mean, I haven't seen Man on the Moon.

He, his one of the things that he did was

he was an

intergender wrestling champion, so he'd wrestle women in a pro-wrestling style.

And then he

also know that from the song Man on the Moon.

Andy Kaufman and the wrestler.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he, so he wrestled women and like real.

At any point, is Egypt troubled by the horrible asp?

I mean I don't know if it was on his time but yeah so of course it was sure

he would wrestle women and like really

like physically fit you know strong women that would

and then he uh also had this character Tony Clifton that he uh would get booked on gigs and he would say that Tony Clifton had to open for him or if he was on a movie he'd be like you have to give a role to Tony Clifton which was him in an outfit so he but isn't there also another dude?

Yeah, Bob Zamuda.

And that's how they did it.

Like, no, it's it is a different guy.

And they would show up at the same thing together.

Um, and then well, oh, he's he had a this is your influence, yeah.

This is who you like, yeah.

I'm a wrestler, yeah, you're a wrestler.

I could see it, yeah, I would say strong, strong, fast,

Katy Perry looking

Before the show.

Somewhere in the middle.

Yeah, somewhere.

Yeah, exactly.

Before the show, we asked you about your family and you said you had a sister and you said, No, wait, I want to talk about this on the podcast.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because like, um, it was funny when I did the show,

like Graham's show, like Laugh Gallery.

Yeah.

And there were a bunch of like comics in the 30th.

And then Gram introduced me on stage.

Like, I think she's also in her 30s and give it up and you miragashima.

And I was like,

yeah, like, I totally went with it, but my age is 46 years old.

You're not 46 years old.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

46?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, you can't see her audience, but look great for 46?

Holy shit.

I mean, she looks like Katy Perry.

We can't overstate it.

We tell what she looks like.

And Katy Katy Perry's probably 38.

Yeah, that's probably true.

Do we want to guess how old Katy Perry is?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

I'm going to say an even 40.

Maybe that's too old.

What do you think?

What do you think?

Katy Perry

39.

39?

Okay, going underneath.

I think we might all be too old.

Oh, no internet.

No internet.

Oh, well.

No,

let me attach to the internet.

Attach.

Let me harness myself to the internet.

And here we go, Katie Perry age right now.

She is 39.

I got it.

Yes.

And she's going to be turning 40 in October.

Oh, so it's almost 40.

Yeah.

And

it's going to be, you know, it's going to be a big bash.

She's not just sitting at home with some friends having some wine.

This is going to be.

Invite all her exes.

Russell Brand.

We will be there.

Yeah.

Oh, Russell Brand's really taken the full,

he's gone the full way around.

He's Christian and Fox News, you know, favorite now.

And

he, I don't know, he's a guy I don't understand the appeal of.

No.

I mean, when he was with Katie Perry, I was like, no, that's got some cachet, you know?

Yeah, I like get him to the Greek.

I just love like him and Diddy and Jonah Hill all together fooling around.

Three guys whose reputation at the stage is stellar all these years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

your sister is back in Japan.

Yeah, and she's younger and four years younger.

Four years younger.

She's like 42.

Exactly.

So

that's fine.

Two or three years older than Katy Perry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when you first came here, did you come here?

for school or did you just like i'm moving to canada oh so basically i came here with working holiday visa.

Okay.

So, I will, it's like one-year temporary work permit.

But you can work wherever you want.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

And I worked at a Japanese restaurant called Samurai on Davy.

Is that still there?

I think it is.

Okay.

Yeah.

Server?

I've never been a server at any point, but I've worked retail.

Is being a server awful?

Or is it okay?

Or does I guess it depends maybe on where

is the customer always right?

Oh, good one.

You know, like, I feel like because I'm like extra vard.

Yeah.

So like, it's like really, it wasn't that difficult.

Right.

Yeah.

Being a server and be like, you know, cheerful and stuff.

But it's like hard.

It was hard to remember the menus or like specials and that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, when they do have to like come to your table at the start and be like, all right, and here's what's special.

Yeah.

And then also when a server will remember, if you order a drink and then you say another, and she'll know five drinks,

and every all people intercept drinks.

I don't know how somebody does that.

I know some people don't have to write them down.

Did you have to write them down?

I had to.

Yeah.

I'm a writer.

Yeah, I just am compelled

to try to stop me.

And like,

also

people carrying the tray with glasses of liquid on it.

Balance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How about you got okay balance?

Well, you've been on a camel and you didn't fall off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like it when they do, have you seen in Paris they do like the waiter.

Call the waiter challenge?

Yeah.

And they'll like.

Oh, there's a competition.

Yeah.

And they do like a race where they can't spill a drink.

I think it's in Paris.

Yeah, and and they have to walk around a city block

on cobblestones.

You've been to Paris?

I have.

Did you like it?

I loved it.

Yeah.

Last day.

No,

that was just for

fun.

And then, like, past day, I went to

the Rouve.

Yeah.

Louvre.

The Louvre.

Yeah.

And then, like, I fell asleep in front of Mona Ris

jet lugged.

It's like.

well, you know what?

It's, you're not going to get pickpocketed.

There's a lot of people around and a lot of security.

It's probably one of the safest places.

Are you sure you fell asleep?

You sure you didn't faint?

I'm trying to make sure.

I kind of want you guys to come around to fainting as a lifestyle.

That's so funny.

Yeah, there was like a perfect bench in front of it.

I just saw it.

Was it just a huge crowd?

Yeah, there were so many people.

Yeah.

Does anyone, yeah, is it like wall to wall from opening to close?

People just want to catch a glimpse of that wonderful smile.

Yeah, I've seen videos, and it is always like, it's like Mona Lisa's like, just won the Super Bowl.

Everybody's gathered around taking photos.

Totally.

Yeah, I like to throw paint on her to protest the climate.

Yeah, people hate that.

It's behind like a big thing of glass, right?

Yeah, that's why there's like glass.

Do you think it's the real one?

Do you think it's a fake?

That they keep the real one hidden somewhere.

What are you, Thomas Crown?

I'm Thomas Crown.

That's, wow, maybe it's, it's not even the authentic one.

Yeah, because it's like so,

you know, it's priceless.

Yeah.

If it ever.

So precious, way too precious.

Yeah, like maybe it's in a vault somewhere and we're just seeing a fake one.

You're just seeing a poster.

In which case, does it matter?

Do you think the other paintings in the Louvre are like jealous?

Or like at night when they're like talking to each other?

No one looked at me today.

Yeah, then there's some weird sculpture over the corner.

Nobody's

broke off.

No one cares about me.

Oh, I just went to Paris this summer.

Oh,

he was in the Olympics.

I was in the Olympics.

Oh, yeah, of course.

I was in the breakdancing squad.

I knew there was something about you.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah,

I keep it.

I keep it to myself, but

keep it tight.

Yeah, I keep it tight.

While your show is on stage.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Once I'm up there, oh boy, oh boy, try and stop me.

But yeah, like,

oh, I loved everything about Paris.

I thought it was so cool.

Was it your first time?

It was.

Oh, my God.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

Wait, wait, last year?

This summer.

This summer.

You got to see the Olympics?

No, we were there like the week before the Olympics.

Oh, you are?

Yeah, so the whole city was like

done up and, you know, like as clean and wonderful as it's never been.

Wow.

I remember

excited.

People were excited, absolutely.

I remember when I was a kid, we went there and there were so many people.

Like, there were a couple of like street performers, there were, um, but they were artists and they would draw in chalk on the ground.

Oh, yeah.

And my parents said, and every day that gets washed away.

It's like they would do like a perfect Mona Lisa on the ground and then the street sweeper comes by and washes it away.

That's like

the Buddhist monks that'll do like designs in the sand just to do it and then it gets washed away.

Oh, wow, that's so true.

Yeah.

Every morning.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's um

uh that was the thing about being in Paris.

During that, it was like everything was nice, everything was clean, and then once in a while you just see a guy with a machine gun.

Just be a guy standing in a in a, you know, the corner somewhere with a giant machine.

I just find Paris like, even when it was clean, there's still quite a urine smell.

Oh, sure.

Any Any big city's got to smell like urine a little bit.

Right.

Our city smells like urine a lot.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Especially if you go downtown.

Any of the back alleys?

Like downtown, Vancouver?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's it like in Tokyo?

Is it people peeing all over the place?

I feel like, no.

I feel like

that would be like

not a thing that happens.

No, it doesn't smell like pee at all.

Nice.

Wow.

Yeah.

And then when you got to here, you're like, finally, you're in a big city now.

See you later, little town Tokyo.

I did see that we now have in Vancouver, we have at Robson and Granville, there's a scramble crosswalk.

Oh, yes.

Where like, what's the big one in Tokyo where everyone just crosses all?

Oh, yeah, Shibuya.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's kind of like that, but it's right outside of Winners.

It's also like, I feel

people are probably better at it in Japan because people here can't figure out what side of the sidewalk to walk on here and wander around like they're just got legs for the first time.

But yeah,

yeah, it became like that when I go back to Japan.

I don't know how to do it anymore.

But like everybody is feeling so fast.

So fast, so efficient.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

People are staring at their phones and stuff.

Yeah, here is just all over the map, man.

I don't know.

I just don't understand understand it.

People walk here slow, four wide on the sidewalk, umbrella under an awning.

Um, yeah, umbrella under the awning.

Uh,

pea smell here, there,

it's great that on a rainy day when like there's a big awning and you can still smell pea, it's like, oh, the rain hasn't gotten here yet.

Yeah,

um, when you first moved here, did you live in Vancouver property?

Did you live around in a Burnaby, Surrey, something like that?

Oh, first I lived near Joyce Station.

I used to live there.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Joyce Station is pretty spicy at night.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They had a pizza place there that I would get pizza from every night because it was on my way to work.

And now looking back, it's probably the worst pizza I ever had in my life.

I don't know.

They're still making bad pizza.

Like, they're making a lot more better pizza.

Yeah.

But like.

But there's definitely bad pizzas out there floating around.

Pizza pizza we never had until a few years ago.

And that's garbage.

That's garbage.

Yeah, we don't need more garbage pizza places, but have you ever been to Pizza Pizza?

No, where is it?

There's one on Broadway.

Yeah, Broadway, like near Kingsgate Mall.

Yeah.

It's bad.

If you don't have a bad slice of pizza,

you're interested in just trying an authentically bad piece of pizza.

Nice.

Are you a pizza fan at all?

I like

Uncle

Wait, what's

Uncle Fed?

In front of the Rio Theater.

Yeah.

Uncle Fed.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

That's the one.

Yeah.

That place is good.

Yeah, like when I get like hungry before a show or after a show.

Will you eat before a show?

I feel like I can't eat before a show.

Oh, I'm like opposite.

I have to be like really full.

Really?

Yeah.

How come?

Then like I don't have energy.

You want to be up there a little sleepy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I

past guest on the podcast, Phil Hanley, would always eat a banana before he would go on stage, just as like a little sugar spike

and fill your stomach a little bit.

Yeah.

And he even had a banana, one of those banana cakes.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

What if he was doing like three shows a night?

Three bananas.

Wow.

Wow.

Banana is also good before like a marathon.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

So it makes sense.

Do you have like a pre-show ritual?

Pre-show ritual?

Yes.

So basically like first I become very anxious.

Okay, yeah.

That's my ritual.

Step one.

I like to become very anxious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then like step two, I write down like all the

like jokes.

All the jokes.

Like I make the set list.

Yeah.

And step three, just like

go over it way too many times.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's pretty much.

That's a good idea.

As a server in a restaurant, like

i feel like if you're the kind of server who remembers yeah without writing it down you might you would be like you wouldn't need to write a set list yeah right

and there's uh comedians i've always marveled at them that have like one-line jokes

and so in a set they have 50 jokes and they have to remember Yeah, you know, like, did I already tell that one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scary moments.

Yeah.

You can't remember.

Especially if you're doing five shows a weekend

on the same stage yeah yeah yeah totally yeah and i remember like when i was very young in comedy i opened for emo phillips and he's all one-liner and he said that uh pretty regularly he would repeat a joke and only realize after the punchline that he's like

i'm not laughing

i remember doing this and getting a better laugh

Yeah, I

what was like the pre-show ritual I noticed among most comedians was listening to Lose Yourself by Eminem.

Yeah.

And drinking.

That gets rid of a lot of the anxiety.

That's true.

That really takes the edge off.

I should try that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have some shots before you go on stage.

At Eminem.

Yeah.

Put like Eminem on, do some shots.

You come out super aggressive.

Angry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's up, idiots?

That's the essence of stand-up comedy.

Oh, yeah.

To be as confrontational as possible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A lot of the young comedians, they don't drink.

Do you drink?

Do you ever drink?

No.

So, yeah, a lot of the comedians that I know now,

it was very alcohol forward and cocaine adjacent when I started.

I never witnessed cocaine.

I still haven't in person.

I've seen people do it.

I wasn't offered any, so I was like, well, I guess I'll just watch it.

But

a big part of doing a show at a

bar was you don't get paid, but you get drink tickets.

You get drink tickets.

Might as well make the most of it.

Yeah, that's, I don't know.

I do find that.

Well, now do they give you vape tickets?

A lot of people just get a big glass of grape juice.

It is like, well, yeah, we're living in the golden era of people not drinking.

It'll swing back around.

Oh, yeah.

It's gotta.

But yeah, people used to get that doesn't happen anymore, but after a show, the comics would all get wasted.

They would just drink until all hours of the night.

Yeah.

I think it's too expensive now.

Too expensive, and it's also awful.

Like, it really is terrible.

You wake up the next morning, you feel

sustainable, yeah.

It's not sustainable, yeah.

But yeah, like a lot of

comics in the 80s, like drinking and drugs.

Yeah, I have that image, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And then, yeah, but now it's like everybody, some people do, they smoke a little weed and then you drink a Coke zero.

That's what I do.

I saw, I was looking at,

it came across my feet, Wayne Gretzky, great hockey player, one of the greatest hockey players.

The greatest, the great one.

His pregame ritual was he like drank two Diet Cokes.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Huh.

Well, I mean, if it works, it works, right?

Yeah.

Isn't he like, he's in some ad for something something now?

Oh, yeah, like I don't know what like pre-mortgage

crypto or

crisky crypto

But we wish him the best.

He's doing great we do all great ones

Dave, what's going on with you my friend?

Not much.

We're sit's you know, it's late September and we're

are you a fall person or are you summer spring?

What are you

summer person?

You're summer person.

Are you sad now?

The summer's over?

I'm so sad, and I'm also in denial.

Oh, yeah, it's

summer.

The weather is still great.

The weather is still great.

Yeah.

Though we're getting less daylight, I walked the dogs this morning, and the sun wasn't up yet.

Yeah.

I love summer so much that I want to buy a house in Hawaii.

Yeah.

Yes, and I also do like a Hawaiian hula dance.

That sounds like a real, that's a dream.

That's an attainable dream.

I feel you can make that happen.

I don't really love summer that much, but I would still buy a a house in Hawaii.

Yeah, just climb up a coconut tree.

Coconut trees there.

Yeah.

I mean, what do you mean?

I don't know.

Just sometimes you see videos of somebody like okay, but like I'm just talking about real estate.

Oh, and I'm talking about the what I would do day to day.

Yeah.

Um, anyway, the school, the school year has started.

Yeah, school's in for the fall, and so my life has changed so much.

Things are so great now.

I have two daughters in school.

And the one thing,

like, I pick them up,

I drop them off every day.

I pick them up a few days a week.

And

it's always great seeing what they're carrying at the end of school.

Are you hungry there, bud?

No, I don't know what that was, but

I should have had a banana before I gave her.

And they're always like, you know, they made a crafting class and they got their hands full or they got some test back that they're carrying.

And I always have to grab what what it is.

And then one

day I saw one of my daughters,

it was the end of the day and it was taking a long time for my daughter to come out of school.

And I kept seeing her classmates coming out with like brightly colored liquid.

Okay.

Like a cup full of brightly colored liquid.

And then finally she came out with this pink liquid.

And I was like, what's that?

And she said, oh, it's jitter juice.

Jitter juice.

and I was like what what's jitter juice oh yeah our teacher gave us this jitter juice and I said well tell me about it well it's uh watermelon juice and

sprinkles and sprite

I mean that sounds the wizard it does yeah and I was like why

yeah was it just

jitter juice it's jitter juice I've never but I guess it was like

to get rid of the jitters It's like have some juice.

But it seems like it would give you juice.

But it was like, welcome back to school.

Yeah, I know a lot of you are nervous.

Drink some of this juice.

That's so cute.

That is cute.

But I also didn't know the school was just giving out like a sugar spike to the end of the day.

Yeah, that's true.

Send them on.

Now go back to your parents.

It's okay because it's pink.

Yeah, it's fine.

Well, you could pick your sprinkles, apparently.

The sprinkles were either pink.

Are these like pink sprinkles?

I guess.

Okay.

And they were largely coloring the drink.

Well, someone had a blue one.

Oh.

It's fun.

Oh, it's definitely fun.

I want one.

Yeah, me too.

I want one.

I don't remember that juice.

They also do a freezy sale

to raise funds all the time.

Do you ever have anything like that when you were going to school?

Any kind of like...

You have to sell things to whatever, buy something for the sports team?

What is it that they're raising money for when they're selling freezies or cookies or donuts?

A class trip?

Yeah, maybe a class trip or something like that.

Do you do any of that?

In Japan, no.

No.

So, like, I'm so jealous about like lemonade stun experience.

Yes, yes.

And also, like, uh, girls' scout, like cookie selling experience.

Like,

Japan doesn't have any of those.

What did you do as a kid then?

Study.

Fair enough.

I also feel like sometimes you'll go to the train station and there will be kids selling like Krispy Kreme donuts.

Yeah.

And it's like, what are they just supposed to eat a donut out on the street?

Or God forbid on the train.

They're only selling dozens.

They're not selling donuts.

Oh, I thought they were selling singles.

Well,

as I've experienced.

Still, that's even worse walking around.

Yeah, a dozen donuts.

My experience is that my brother will say, oh, my daughter's soccer team is raising money.

Who wants a

dozen donuts?

Yeah.

What do you do with a dozen donuts?

You eat them.

Yeah, you eat them several times.

You eat them pretty fast.

That's a lot.

That's a lot.

A dozen donuts.

And what are they, what are these

15 bucks, 20 bucks?

Boy, I don't know.

Also, that's like, who has,

you'd have to have tap.

Oh, it's all everyone's interact e-transferring here.

Yeah.

I got

a character done, and they had tap.

And I was like, this is it.

This is the future.

Here?

Yeah.

During Cambie days?

No, it was just, it was somebody that had a little setup.

And

she was really good.

She was a lot of fun.

And what did she choose for your noticeable feature?

She kind of, I think, my eyes and my lips seemed to be like the really?

Yeah.

My juicy, juicy lips.

And then were you doing an activity surfing?

No, there was no activity.

I can't say.

I'm dancing right.

Yeah,

popping and logging.

Anyway, we're back to school.

Yeah.

I'm loving it.

When you went back to school as a kid, did everybody buy new outfits?

Or were there uniforms?

She's channeling.

She's channeling.

She's going back to childhood.

She's going to remind Palace.

Elementary school

is like free.

You can wear anything.

But like junior high and high school, we had like uniforms.

Yeah,

and so basically, like

the beginning of the season, like we would wear the like newly like dry, cleaned

uniform.

Yeah, like fresh.

Yes.

Now, I've never known anybody that's gone to a school that had uniforms.

Do you get more than one, or is it just one that you have to keep clean?

Oh, so like two, like one for like s spring and summer, Yeah.

And then one for fall and winter.

But what if you spill something on yourself on Wednesday?

Oh, I see.

You gotta go back to class on Thursday.

You get a few.

You you have to suck it up, buttercup.

That's the price.

Suck it up, Buttercup.

You're gonna st wear that giant jelly stain for the rest of the day.

I've never yeah, I've never had a uniform, but now when I buy kids' clothes, I notice if you go to like the Gap website, there's like a kids' uniform section.

You can just get like standard

gray pants or skirts.

Does it have like a psychological effect?

Isn't that the kind of part of it?

It's like

almost like military kind of you're giving up.

You're part of a group now.

You're not

and like no kid is showing up in like super expensive clothes and another kid's not.

Did it have like any effect like that when you were or yeah, I just don't understand the point of uniforms.

like there's got to be something to it right right

yeah I think like so that like

our attention and focus goes to like studying rather than like trying to look cool with like outfit and like in the morning and stuff yeah

but like we still did like you know like trying to make the skirts like shorter or like you know like wear like well you're rebels yeah

yeah yeah yeah um

Yeah.

Like, how many hours of studying per night are we talking about?

Oh, so basically, like, after we finish school, we go to like another like a tutoring school for like two hours.

That's like so after school, more school.

Yeah, like three times in a week.

Okay.

Okay.

And then you go home and you have more studying to do at home?

Sometimes I do homework after that.

Yeah.

And then how do you decide to come over to vancouver why what was it about vancouver that you're like oh so basically like for me

i was dating a guy oh yeah that sounds right in japan a japan okay in japan yeah

he was teaching english at an english conversation school yeah and i was also an like an English teacher but like I was teaching English to like a podcast it's kind of an English conversation school Yeah,

yeah, kind of, yeah,

yeah,

to little kids.

And like, so basically, he's he's the reason.

Like, he, after like one year of like contract, he had to go back to Vancouver and he was like, do you want to come to Vancouver?

Like, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then as soon as he got over here, like, we're breaking out.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we are all.

Yeah, I got some comedy to do.

And anyways, you around, it was nice even

over here.

Scram.

I feel like I know a lot of people who have moved to Vancouver because

their partner moved or was from here and moved back from

somewhere.

So that's.

Yeah.

It's not like really the destination.

Like, I want to get out of Japan and like, where do I want to go?

It's like

Vancouver.

Vancouver.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not.

Yeah.

I know a lot of people who came here here because I guess they got kicked out of Australia.

Yeah, man.

They're everywhere.

Those Australians.

You got to love them.

Hats off to you, mate.

But then, like, once you start living in Vancouver, like,

I can't go anywhere else.

No?

No.

You love it.

I love it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad.

I'm glad we can claim you for the rest of your life.

Graham, have you ever visited somewhere and you were like, I could live here?

Yeah.

I think, like, I mean, sometimes you go to a place and all you see is the nice

little stuff.

And you're like, well, I can move here.

But then if you went like two miles away, you'd be like, oh, this is horrible.

Or you're like, if you waited for winter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember going, I was in London.

And, you know, you stay around all the like hot spots in London.

And then a guy, like a friend of a friend, was having a barbecue at his house.

So then I went to that.

And it was like everything was brick.

There was no greenery on site

and the barbecue was a pile of bricks and it was it was just like oh this is insane like there's no greenery it's just brick where was it this was in the what the neighborhood what city london oh okay yeah so it was just like where people would live and it was just like i'm just so used to like a backyard patio that's got a barbecue they don't have a backyard patio they have a backyard paddington they do they live in london come on um

Is that what the audience is like?

You're like, I'm talking about London.

Because I just remembered what Greg, I asked Graham what city it was.

And then

I feel that like anytime I'm in Montreal in the fall, I'm like, ah, this is great.

Yeah.

Anytime I'm there in the summer or winter, no thank you.

Yeah, I have that experience with.

Toronto, like the winters there are pretty frigid.

The summers are really like muggy.

Yeah.

The fall and spring.

Spring in Toronto.

Very nice.

But

yeah, I think.

Also, you go to New York and you're like, I want to live in New York, but really, you just want to live in Times Square.

Times where you think is cool.

I want to be a Pokemon.

Anyway, so yeah,

school's in for fall.

Yeah.

School's not out for summer.

No, what's up with you?

I went back to the home of my

town of my birth,

Calgary, Alberta.

Okay.

Was

going to record.

What high school did you go to there?

Went to Lord Beaver Brooks.

Oh, what high school did you go to in Japan?

Hudoka.

Oh, they're good.

Yeah, they're one of the top teams.

Was there like a mascot?

Were there sports teams?

Yeah, we had really famous cheerleaders.

Oh, really?

Really?

Yeah.

But all men.

Really?

Yeah.

Interesting.

When is there like a name of

the team?

Name of

like, you know, at some high schools we'd be like, the white cats.

Yeah.

No.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just the cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And they would go to competitions, I assume.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't know that was, I thought that was only an American thing.

Like, oh, like cheerleading competition.

Are they doing like physical stunts or is there actual cheering?

Like

Basically yelling like

well, I don't know if you can't.

You could have tied your pull your hair up short and you could have been on the team.

Oh, yeah, totally.

You had a mustache on

anyway.

You went back to Calgary.

I went back to Calgary and to visit my family.

And my,

so two things.

This is the thing that with a lot of nephews that I have or friends that have kids, I like to be like the uncle that introduces them to like a whoopee cushion, hand buzzer, you know, chattering teeth,

like all the like joke things

from when I was a kid.

They're always a hit.

They only are popular for about the, you know, hour, hour mark of the party or whatever.

I've tried that with my kids as well.

Yeah.

I'm very suspicious, but I want to shake their hand.

And didn't they have classic like fly in the ice cube?

They did to do fly in the ice cube to me.

So I went to the two things that I got, not that are necessarily tricks, but Pez Dispenser.

Kids' first Pez Dispenser.

Tweety bird one.

How old is this kid?

This kid is four.

Oh, sure.

Probably ready for some jitter juice.

Yeah, he's ready for jitter juice.

Put some Pez and juice and soda.

I think he's four.

But he,

I also got him fake teeth, funny fake teeth.

Oh, not like

sort of like, I've seen them that are like hillbilly teeth.

Yeah, hillbilly teeth.

Yeah, and he was like so into it immediately.

But, you know, you have to prank somebody, right?

You can't just put them in and everybody knows.

So he had to prank his mom.

And there was a lot of care going into this prank.

And I think for her part, my sister-in-law really.

Now, how do you set up my teeth?

Are messed up?

Yeah.

I think it was like, go brush your teeth and then coming out after brushing teeth with like crazy teeth.

Yeah, that's good.

It is really good.

It's such a really cute setup.

Natural.

Yeah, yeah.

Because you can't be like, hey, something's wrong with, because you can't really talk with them in your mouth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's, we saw a picture of them.

It was so adorable.

But they only had one kind of kid size.

They had a bunch of different crazy ones for adults.

But anyways, he loved it and it was a great prank.

I'm going to try to put Dracula teeth in my dog's mouth.

That's pretty cool.

Try that again.

Every Halloween I get advertised some vampire teeth that have a lever so that you press it with your tongue and the teeth grow.

Oh.

Yeah, they look really awesome.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's like next level.

And then if you let go of it with your tongue, then they zip back up, I think.

Wow.

Yeah.

What are you going to go as for Halloween?

Do you do Halloween?

Oh,

I haven't thought of it at all.

Well, coming up.

She's just in denial about summer ending.

Yeah.

So, why would she embrace this ghoulish?

I think the easiest thing for you to go as is Katy Perry.

Yeah.

I mean, you really don't need to do anything.

Yeah, yeah.

Everybody says you go up to knock on some doors and they're like, Yeah, Andy Paulie.

Are you?

You're not Katie.

You're Harry.

You're Andy Kaufman.

Andy Kaufman looking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got to think, too.

I got to think about costumes.

One of the biggest places in the city, you get Halloween stuff, is closing down.

I think this will be their last

year dress sew.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

I love dress sew.

Yeah, so you got to go down there and get your hands on whatever you can get your hands on.

That's a good info.

Yeah.

It's

very upsetting.

I think they're closing under some sort of duress.

I don't think it's like, well, we're retiring.

Well, they own the building.

They don't do own the building.

So they're.

I'm not, you know,

it's not as bad as it could be.

They do get to sell the building.

Yeah, exactly.

They've got billions upon millions coming their way.

Nice.

But either, has their Spirit Halloween opened yet?

I mean, yes.

I don't know where it's opened in town, but when I was in Calgary and in Edmonton, I came across them.

Because the one here used to be on Broadway was the Mountain Equipment Co-op place.

And now that place, I thought they were going to tear it down.

But now this year, it's like

Film Studio Liquidation.

Oh, yeah, I went to that.

Man, that was disappointing.

What did you think you'd get?

Like a camera?

Some old-timey,

you know, like Western wear or something like that.

It's just t-shirts.

It was like a million of the same t-shirts.

I went there too.

Did you?

Yes.

Did you find anything good?

I got like pretty good stuff.

And then like my partner Hamza, like he got like really cool like blue leather jacket.

Oh really?

And then like after we got home, we noticed there was like

slash like a knife cut

in the back.

Like okay, this character must have been

so was it just clothes or were there like uh no there was yeah there was like kind of of telephones and nothing, like nothing interesting, just stuff that you would find at a thrift store.

Yeah.

But the other thing.

And you couldn't tell it was like, oh, this is from whatever, supernatural.

Well, that was like

some of it was there were so many of them that you're like, well, this must be a legion of some sort of one character because there's a million of this one shirt.

Like when the Eminem had all the people who looked at that.

Exactly.

But what I also did while I was in Calgary, and it was, see, my nephew, he had like a whole week of party things.

Was it his birthday?

It was his birthday.

And

you're not sure he's four.

No,

yeah.

What age are you when you go to kindergarten?

What age are you when you've got four candles on your cake?

I didn't go to the birthday, so I can't recall.

But what age are you when you go to kindergarten?

Whew, here?

Yeah.

Five.

Five?

The year you turn five.

Yeah, so he's five.

I guess so.

He's five.

And he, a friend of my brother's.

Unless he's some kind of doogie hauser.

Yeah, I think he might be a doogie hauser.

He got tickets for a monster truck, Jam.

Oh, wow.

That was the best.

Have you ever seen monster trucks?

No.

A monster truck?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

No.

No, wait.

That?

Yeah.

And he said exactly the same thing here.

Have you?

No, actually, no, no.

So they're like,

the top of them is like a regular truck.

It's a pretty big truck.

It's a pretty big truck.

And then the wheels are like 18 feet off the ground or something like that.

Gigantic.

Gigantic.

Oh, my God.

So the whole thing is them driving around trying to do stunts and jumping off ramps.

One of the.

Did they crush cars?

No, they weren't crushing any cars.

They just had like...

kind of a bunch of launch pads.

And so some of the tricks were like landing on two wheels.

Where was it at an arena?

Outdoors at the Stampede Ground.

Okay, because here, whenever it comes, I'm like, oh, it's going to be at the stadium.

No, like the giant stadium, it's with the roof that opens up.

It's not there.

It's at the tiny arena.

Yeah.

No, this was at like where they would do rodeo stuff.

And it's so much fun

because they just, you know, there was one competition where it's like, okay, now we're going to do the donuts competition.

Everybody's going to come out and see how many donuts they can eat.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, they sell you dozens of Krispy Greens.

What about,

did you wear earplugs?

I did, yes.

Nose plugs?

Yep.

Staying.

Well, there's so much exhaust.

Yeah, but it's outdoors, so it just goes into the atmosphere.

Cool.

But

the thing in between where

everybody in the truck got to get a little break was at halftime, they did motorcycle tricks, jumping off of ramps and doing like like people would like let go of the motorcycle and grab back on and it was a competition I was like do you think these guys

like have kind of a healthy competition go like hey you know Dwayne really nailed it today or does the same person win all the time oh is it like Harlem Globetrotter yeah yeah is it like is it real or

but regardless there's not like you can't follow along at home oh did Dwayne won last night he's leading the league this year he's part of my fantasy fantasy motocross team.

But the weirdest thing, I mean, to me, it's not weird because it's very adjacent to kind of a Canadian show business, is after they were done, they had to dismantle everything.

Like they had to take apart the ramp and it was like inflatable, but they had to let it down in their still in their biker gear.

So it was like, huh.

So they're like carnies.

Yeah, like one second.

flying high next second rolling up tarp

sounds familiar yeah right yeah exactly.

Like, you've been to gigs where it's like, well, I might as well help clean up after.

I'm here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's very like, have you noticed that when you go to another country that the show biz is

different, better?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes, totally.

Oh my gosh.

When I did shows in Malaysia, it was crazy.

So basically, I had to do like rehearsal for like opening dance.

You had to do an opening dance?

Like, there are four like female comics.

Yeah.

We have to be like...

Like, Joe Shimmy?

Yeah, like hip-hop dancing with male dancers and things like

things like blowing from the stage.

It's like totally

showman.

Yeah, showmanship.

Yeah.

Different.

I'll say.

Yeah, that's the beginning of a comedy show.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

It was crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's

because like now you just have maybe an opener or somebody just gets on the microphone and says, Jerry Seinfeld.

Can you imagine he comes out and does a big dance?

Yeah.

Or like if you were like, okay, we're not sure you're ready to do the big clubs.

If you brought a song, you're going to be like,

we just have to audition and there's a pianist right there.

Shammy.

Yeah.

A million years ago, I opened for Joan Rivers.

And she is the first person ever that was like, i had to show up for dress rehearsal

and i had to be wearing a suit and i had to be uh they like like got me this is a song you're gonna be be played on to and they had um like a four-piece band on stage that she really only used for one gag and then they were sent away but uh

it was yeah it was like when aside from malaysia have you ever been to like a dress rehearsal to do stand-up no yeah wow that sounds so cool yeah it makes sense, John Rivers.

Yeah, she's from old school, uh, you know,

like two

like TV tapings where you have to show up.

And who was the dat fan?

Dat fan.

Uh, he was there and he like did it, was doing like blocking and lighting at the beginning.

He's like, just so you know, for my, when I'm actually doing the show, my hair will be about six inches taller.

And I was like,

maybe they care, I doubt it.

Oh, actually, yeah, but when we do like Winnipeg and stuff, we do dress rehearsal.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you get, but like, I've just never heard of having to be in an opening music.

It sounds like fun, to be honest.

Like, okay, we're going to do the big number, big opening number.

Everybody come out and do your stand-up set.

And then the big club.

Yeah, we're going to do our tribute to laughter.

Get everyone in the mood, what they're doing.

Yeah, maybe close should start doing that.

Yeah.

When I was like the very very beginning of doing stand-up like it was just kind of the end of the 90s and in the 90s you had to have a big closer

like either with like sound effects or it was like the whole bit was said around a song or something like that they don't do that anymore mostly people just go good night yeah yeah thanks yeah yeah my name is in the

I think what people generally do now is like a closer that if they could if they have a big closer it involves a piece of merch that they can can sell

do you have merch i i'm making merch now what are you getting i am getting like earrings oh that's i've never heard of that right it says you

me

love it love it

and that's that's easy to carry yeah yeah

smart yeah um

yeah there was a a woman named Sid Bozel and she sells tea towels which is like, I want a tea towel.

Oh, yeah.

I don't necessarily want a shirt.

Yeah, I don't want to have to walk around with someone's face on my chest.

Yeah.

Tea towel.

Yeah.

What is tea towel?

Like a kitchen towel?

Yeah.

Like for drying dishes.

Drying dishes, drying your hands.

Oh,

they have like patterns on them.

That's so cute.

Yeah.

So she like, I don't, I've never seen one, but I hear that she sells them and it's like, oh,

smart.

Yeah.

And she has her names or something.

Something like that, or something connecting to her.

Well, her name is Ikea, so it's pretty easy.

She's just so like you.

Her name is 100% caught.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, what do you guys think?

Did we move on to some overheards?

Yeah, yay.

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Overheard.

Overheard's a segment of the show where if you're lucky enough to overhear something.

funny, we want to hear it too.

It's only fair that we get to hear it.

And we always like to start with the guest.

Yumi, you haven't overheard.

Yes.

So basically, I just did like a debaters in Edmonton.

And then on the flight from Edelmonton to Vancouver, I was really hungry.

So I bought, like, before I was like getting on the plane, I bought like a butter squash soup

in a to-go cup.

Yeah.

Soup.

That's some dangerous stuff, Yumi.

I get on a plane with soup.

Because there's a point where you're going to get into your seat and you unless you have a friend to hold the soup for you

i'm sure i know but just oh boy yeah and like uh so like but like as soon as i opened yeah the soup so first person said

it smells like food and the second person said

it smells like pumpkin and i'm like oh that's quite accolade and then like third person like the lady went there was one time i smelled McDonald's on airplane.

They were really having a moment around that.

Yeah, yeah.

So like I was like really impressed by like how people react to the smell of butter squash soup.

Yeah, and it's also like maybe a good game show.

What kind of soup am I saying?

What do you smell it?

Yeah.

Oh, there's got to be a show like that somewhere.

Maybe in Japan.

That seems like maybe a Japanese game show possibility.

Because Japanese game shows are the best, right?

The best

Is there one where people would smell one?

Smell something?

You know what?

Not yet.

No.

I should start it

on my YouTube channel.

I definitely have smelled.

Oh, I hate when people bring like Burger King on the plane.

Yeah.

Yeah, and that's a lady apparently.

She's stuck in her memory.

I mean,

I saw the Burger King.

I didn't just smell it.

I once smelled McDonald's on the plane, but I could never pinpoint it.

Never prove it.

I could never prove it.

Yeah, I think probably if

I thought about it, the worst food to bring on a plate would be a bucket of KFC.

Very strong.

Very strong.

There's a greasy.

Erica said it's the boiled egg.

Oh, yeah.

Boiled egg.

Oh, for sure.

That's unforgivable.

But they don't.

You have to bring that from home.

They don't sell that in the airport.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, food is good for you.

Maybe they do the soup-eat egg bites at the Starbucks.

That's true.

But

those are to die for.

Yeah, and

I don't know how much egg is actually in them.

Like one.

One egg.

Dave, do you have an overhead?

Yeah, mine is from.

So do you...

Okay, so my

one of the things that children like is slime.

Oh, yeah.

Slime's big.

Are you familiar with slime?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you can buy slime.

There's different, like, when I was a kid, slime was like, uh-oh, it's gross.

And now it's like a thing kids do for, it's like a fidget toy.

Right.

You play with it.

You roll it around in your hands.

It smells nice.

Sometimes it has a little texture to it.

Yeah.

Oh, it smells nice because that was not, when I was a kid, it was slime.

Yeah.

It smelled like petrochemical.

And they were watching YouTube and there was this,

boy, what is the company?

Peachy Beebies?

Peachy Beebies?

Okay.

They make,

they're a company that makes slime, but they also make YouTube videos of how they make slime.

And they'll do different theme slimes, or like people will call in and write it in and be like, hey, can you make a Shrek slime?

Sure.

I mean, that's easy.

And someone had written in and asked for a Darth Maul slime.

Do you know who that is?

No.

Now, Darth Maul, no, he's from Star Wars.

He's from one of the Star Wars.

I'll pull up his picture.

I can picture in my head what the color scheme would be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Darth Maul age.

Darth Maul age.

Apparently I deleted the Katy Perry part.

Darth Maul would have been 52 years old when he died.

Anyway, so Darth Maul is a fearsome baddie.

He looks like that.

Oh, I know, I know.

Yes.

He's got a two-sided

What's it called?

Lightsaber.

Lightsaber.

And so

this person on the YouTube video was making the slime that was black and red.

Okay.

I think it was black with some, or red with some black bits in it.

Yeah.

And then she goes, and what do we think Darth Small, what do we think Darth Small smells like?

Hmm.

I think he probably smells like strawberry.

Yeah.

I mean, looking at him, I feel like.

I don't know what.

Yeah.

I would say he probably smells like sulfur.

Yeah, exactly.

He smells like something

devilish.

Yeah.

Plus, do lightsabers smell like

a toaster smells when it heats up.

Yeah, and it's burning some sort of fuel.

Huh.

I never thought about that.

Games should smell like death.

Yeah, like

butternut squash soup.

Darth Maul gets on a plane and you're like, oh, man, dude.

This guy's sitting next to me.

So anyway, I took umbrage with that.

I don't think he smells like strawberry.

No, but I get it.

I get where somebody because it does look like a strawberry ice cream with chocolate in it if you mixed it up his face.

Yeah.

And then with the horns, that's a little crispy.

Think of how Anakin feels after he eats

next time he eats strawberry ice cream.

He's like, oh, this reminds me of when my friend Qui-Got Jinn died

on his 52nd birthday.

Darth Maul died on his 52nd birthday.

All little candles that are lightsabers.

Did you do little lightsabers?

I got confirmation.

My nephew is five.

He's five years old.

I thought four because he was only

just this past week turned five.

So

yeah.

Just

what were you going for there?

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

What's your birthday?

It is September 10th.

I know it was like it was the day

when we did that

live podcast at the library in Calgary.

It was the day after that.

Oh, because he was born.

He was born the next day.

Okay.

And I just happened to be there, so I got to hold him when he was a little bit.

That was like baby.

I felt like that was like four years ago, but I guess it was

five years ago.

Because four years ago would have been pandemic.

Yeah, yeah, it was 2019.

We weren't doing any shows in 2020.

No, right.

Yeah.

Would have probably been one of the last shows that I did general.

Like,

or last, no, we didn't do any podcasts we were on after that, but I don't know.

But I,

I, like the first two years of the pot of the pandemic, I would like

fantasize about the like six months before

the last six months of 2019 when I was like, I went to New York.

September 9th is when he was born.

September 9th, 2019.

Oh, my gosh.

I went to London.

I went to New York and I would be like, oh, those, I wish I could go back now and we're just trapped here.

No, I know.

Yeah.

Oh, to smell the smells.

All that.

Me too.

I was in New York.

Like just before?

Yeah.

And then

when the airport was started to close, I was in Malaysia.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah.

And I was like, everybody was like, you have to come back.

You have to come back to California.

Otherwise, you'll be stuck in Malaysia.

That would have been heavy duty.

Because did you know anybody in Malaysia?

No.

Not even the people that you worked on the little dance with?

Yes, actually, yes, that's them.

Yeah.

But yeah, if you had been stranded in Malaysia with

luckily you were able to get back over here.

Yeah.

And then, you know, we all just hung out at our places for a while.

Yeah.

Abby's parents, before the pandemic, they used to live in Wuhan in China,

which is where

it all begins.

And they weren't living there anymore.

But I have a giant, like, you know, when you go to Starbucks in any city, you can buy the

Starbucks mug that says Vancouver.

Yes, yeah.

I still have a giant Wuhan Starbucks mug, and I never get rid of that.

Never get rid of it, but also, like,

I don't want to, like, you know, I don't want to be too political.

Yeah, I don't want to drink out of it and be like, this guy supports COVID.

Anyway, do you have an overheard?

I have an overdreamt.

Okay.

This is something I dreamt.

This was a couple nights ago.

And it falls very much under the Dave Shumka headache of.

Boring.

Super boring.

But it also involves Dave Shumka.

Oh.

This is a dream that I had.

Okay, that sounds boring.

The dream I had.

Well, I'm not sure exactly where I was, but I was downstairs in a house, and you were upstairs in the house, and we were waiting for you to finish reading a book.

You're going to be waiting a while, Sorry.

It's like, Dave can't come down yet.

He's still finishing a book.

I'm a very slow reader, and it's going to be a while.

Yeah.

And plus, every couple pages, I'm going to look at my phone.

But yeah, I remember

we can't bother Dave because he's reading a book.

Any idea what it was?

No, I just remember like you were, you were...

just not going to come down before you were finished with the book.

And then I think...

So I'm not really in the dream.

But then eventually you did come down and you were wearing a blue cardigan sweater.

Oh,

that's very unfriend.

Yeah, it was very much something that could have happened at any point.

But it was nice.

I woke up.

I was like, oh,

was it a dream or was it

a reality?

Yeah.

Do you actually have blue cardigan?

Come on.

Coffee up.

Probably two blue cardigans.

Several of the rainbows.

I got some gray, some, I have a big, fluffy,

kind of like a burgundy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, the burgundy.

But I was like, it was one of those cardigans that has like the big shawl collar.

Shawl collar.

Yeah, I don't have that.

But

you might.

Like a navy blue one with literally.

No question it would look good.

But

I guess I got to start on my Christmas list.

If you got one, it would be literally a dream come true.

Your dream.

That's so funny.

Can you please make your Graham's dream come true of me having this one sweater?

Yeah.

Now, we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the world.

If you want to send one in, it's sby at maximumfund.org.

This first one comes from Kevin in Portland, Oregon.

Walking on the sidewalk, I overhear a middle-aged man talking to someone old enough to be his grandma.

And he's saying they were handing out LSD.

So I had a little bit of LSD.

The younger person was saying that?

Yes.

The middle-aged man said they were handing out LSD, which I don't know where they would just be handing it.

Yeah, they had it out in

Biden's America now.

Yeah, that's true.

In schools.

Ever done LSD?

Is it?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was your experience with it?

Was it good, bad?

I did like quota tablet, like tiny bit.

Just a tiny bit.

Like a music festival.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And was it like, yeah, it was fun.

It was a good vibe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I knew a guy in high school, a friend of mine, that would do it every day.

Oh,

do acid at school every day.

I'm still scared of it.

Yeah, I've done it before, and it was good, but also it was on the border where I was like, I could see how this would be terrifying.

Yeah.

So you can like, they now sell like mushroom micro-dosy things.

Oh, sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can totally micro-dose it.

Would that fix my brain?

Try it.

Dave can't come down because he's trying to read a book while high on mushrooms.

Well, just a micro-dose.

Just a little bit.

I don't know what that does to you.

Do you still tiny bit hallucinate?

It's, to me, like, if you take a tiny bit of it, it's just like a mood elevator.

Like, you just feel kind of nice and things are funny.

Super chill.

Yeah.

And then, like, relax.

Relax, then, like.

You don't have to worry about too much.

But still very functional.

Yeah.

And also, I think for me, a lot of things are a lot funnier.

Yeah, when I have a little bit of mushrooms.

Yeah, really?

Craem?

I didn't know this about you.

I don't do it very often, but there's people in my sphere that do, and they're like, hey, you want to try a little?

And

it's bound to peer pressure.

So you're still functional, so I can still drive the bus.

100%.

This next one comes from Julie in Kennewick, Washington.

I'm at the mall play place with my daughter.

Well, it sounds awful.

Have you been to like the sunken area of the mall?

It's all carpeted and

you can't climb up on it.

That's got to be the grossest carpet in all of the land.

Just where kids go hang out.

Kids.

They're so messy.

And smells like butter squash.

Yeah.

It smells like buttersquash too.

That's the general odor.

Swish, swish.

The mall cop and one of the other moms were chatting, apparently old friends.

While they were chatting, her toddler knocked over another kid, so she lovingly went over and had her apologize.

When she went back to chatting, she said to the guy, sorry, just teaching my child not to be a dick.

Then later, when the toddler wasn't letting the other kids play on the toys, the mom used her loving, cutesy voice to say,

You have to share.

Don't be a dick.

Don't be a dick, son.

Yeah, exactly.

This is, come on.

You're making mommy look bad in front of the mall cop.

Yeah.

When Josh Stubbs was on a few months ago, by the way, he left his sunglasses and shirt.

Josh, if you're listening.

But he was talking about how

he watched Paul Blart Mall Cop with his family, with his kids, and they loved it.

And

so I was like, oh, that's a good suggestion.

And we watched it.

We hated it.

We made it like 20 minutes and it was just like fat joke after fat joke and they weren't landing.

Now he's like,

he's got a shaved head now.

He's like a buff guy now.

Josh Stubbs?

Kevin James.

Malpart.

Malpart.

Carp.

This last one comes from Pat from Boston.

This came with a drawing of what his daughter drew, but the wording underneath was the joke.

My daughter brought this project home from school.

She was told to draw a self-portrait and write three things about herself.

She intended to write, I am nice, I am calm, I am a good friend.

But my wife and I were hoping she forgot some letters, and she did.

And it said,

It's all unclear.

I am nice, I am calm, I am a god.

I am a god.

I'm nice.

I do feel like I am calm is like something that your teachers have told you to calm down.

Oh, yeah.

So you're like, no, I actually am good and calm.

Self-affirmation.

Yeah.

I just took a micro-dose of mushrooms and I'm totally calm.

Chill vibes.

In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh.

SpyPod 1, like these people have.

Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests.

This is Mark Collin from Ontario with Kids Say the Darkest.

I'm a teacher, and I was out on the schoolyard yesterday, and I walked past a couple of grade fours who were playing tetherball.

And all I heard was one kid say to the other, your mom's a lesbian?

Well, my mom has diabetes.

It's not a competition.

Yeah, but yeah, diabetes wins.

Yeah, that's so fun.

Yeah, it's yeah, exactly.

You have to one-up your friend.

Well, check this out.

I know one thing about my mother, too.

Is your mom a type one lesbian?

Oh, yeah, that's so funny.

Yeah, I feel like

in school, did you want to have like one thing that made you like, I've got the one, this is, I'm like,

I have this in my life.

Yeah.

I feel like there was a kid that were shoes.

They had cool shoes.

Yeah, I just feel like like the

like if you want, if you got something, you know, went shopping on the weekend, you would like really want to show it off on a Monday.

And now I'm the opposite.

I want no attention.

Yeah, just want to vanish into the ether.

That's why I come up with like really boring things to talk about on the show.

Like, let's move on from me.

Yes, my kid drank some kind of gitter juice.

Jitter juice.

But what's how?

What's going on with you?

But we also,

last time I was here, you had

like a Betelgeuse drink, a Betelgeuse soda, and it was, oh, it was awful.

Yeah, Fanta made a rotten apple or whatever.

Like, it was a green apple Fanta.

And the bottle had stripes like Betelgeuse.

It was a green drink.

What was it?

Because it was so bad.

Oh, it tastes like a haunted apple.

It tasted like chartreuse or something.

Yeah, it was like

not, not good.

You want to drink it.

You want to try it?

I'm sure you can find a lot of it because I bet they did not sell it.

I got a lot of teeth on it.

Well, I thought I saw because

Abby and the kids got it at like a gas station convenience store.

Sure.

Which, by the way, there's now a convenience, like a

town pantry going in on Main Street that's not attached to a gas station.

It's just the convenience store part of the gas station.

I guess with all these electric vehicles,

they got to branch out.

But so she just bought a bottle of it.

Yeah.

And then I was at the grocery store and they're selling 12 packs of it.

No one wants 12 cans of this garbage.

But yeah, there's always somebody that's collecting those sodas, like, you know, from Darth Maul soda, I'm sure.

Oh, like, I definitely...

They were selling Coke Oreos.

What?

And, like, I saw one person kind of see it, like, see it on the shelves.

The chocolate would taste like.

I don't know.

It's got popping candy in it as well.

What the hell?

What kind of monstrosity is this?

That sounds fun.

And then, yeah.

Okay, they are a red.

The cookie is red or the filling is red.

What is going on?

I don't believe this.

Yeah, the filling is red and white.

This is now this looks like a Darth Maul chocolate.

Oh, yes.

Wow.

And someone at the grocery store scoffed at it, like, they're selling this.

This is ridiculous.

And then another guy I saw buying it, and I was checking out behind him, and I was tempted to be like,

You're not going to eat all those.

Yeah, give me one.

Like, you just want to try.

I know, I just want to try it.

Yeah, they should at least have somebody with giving out samples, just a little bite.

But I do, yeah, I don't feel like I need to

have every eat, like, enjoy.

I do feel like I need to try every new food.

Yeah.

Now I'm getting hungry.

Yeah, me too.

I really want to try it.

This one starts looking like the cookie.

Oh, the circle.

I thought you were pointing at me.

It's looking like a rock circle.

It does look like a cookie.

All right.

Here is your next phone call.

Hi, guys.

It's Heather from Vancouver calling in with an overheard.

I was at a festival the other day and walked past a kid saying to his mom,

all I want to do is rock climb.

And they haven't even rock climbed in like an hour and a half.

Off I go.

Yeah, once you get, you know, we get into your system, you need it.

Yeah.

Have you ever done it like a climbing wall or anything like that?

No.

Feels like a very Vancouver thing.

I tried bouldering.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, once.

It's so hard.

So hard.

Yeah.

Bouldering is the one where you don't need a harness or anything, right?

Yeah.

And like you're, the grips aren't like,

they're not grippy.

So you have to like find the find the little spot that your hands are.

Is it hard on your fingers or your core or yeah finger both like fingers so painful yeah do you use a lot of chalk I feel like on the Olympics it was everybody was chalking up after every

that was the problem not enough chalk they also okay so I'm as I google this they it's not a one product crossover so there are Coca-Cola Oreos and there's Oreo Coke

Oh I wonder what would you rather have a cookie that tastes like coke or a coke that tastes like a cookie oh my god

But this is a zero sugar.

You would want the cookie.

Yeah.

This is a Coke Zero.

Coke Zero.

Yeah.

Huh.

Yeah, I guess I would probably want the.

I think I would want the cookie as well.

Yeah, I think so, too.

Yeah.

By default.

But if I was at a party and there was some of that soda, I'd have a glass.

Come on.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's...

I think we need to have a party.

Yeah.

Cookie party.

Yeah.

Cookie Coke and party.

Yeah.

All right.

Here's your final phone call.

Hi, David and Graham and guests.

This is Taylor from Massachusetts calling in with an overheard.

I was in the Strand bookstore in New York City when I heard someone talking with a friend, and she said, no, I'm not saying you should stop taking all your medications, but I am saying you should get a cat.

Yeah, I mean.

Yeah, that's true, too.

Yeah.

I think, like, yeah, sometimes a cat, maybe a dog is the answer.

Maybe that'll change things around for you.

But,

I mean, I know a guy who takes LSD every day.

And

I know a girl who rode on a camel one time.

So that's the end of the episode.

Yumi, tell us where can people find you?

Where is this tour you're doing?

Fill us in.

So like I am very active on Instagram.

Yeah.

My Instagram handle is Yumi Comedy.

And I also have a YouTube channel where I upload my video every week.

It's called Yumi Tube.

Yumi Tube.

And you have millions of views from your YouTube account.

I have

quite a bit of views.

Yeah.

I am grateful.

That's nice.

That's nice.

Because a lot of people would be very conceited with their millions.

I'm not grateful.

I'm great.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Well, that's very nice that you're grateful.

I love that.

I don't have a YouTube presence at all.

So I feel like you're not.

I have a YouTube presence primarily as a viewer.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

What's your handle for viewer?

Oh, well, I don't want people to find out.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm pretty sure it's just my name.

Yeah.

I feel like with a lot of things, somebody's already got my name because it's a common enough name.

And so I have to do something stupid to

remember what my YouTube name is.

Oh, there's nothing to see there.

So it doesn't matter.

Well, I, yeah, sometimes I'll.

You're break dancing.

Well, now that I've, yeah, now that I've made Canada's breakdancing team, oh, yeah, I should put out more videos.

Oh, you did it for Canada?

You didn't defect to another country to break dance?

Just to become the sole entry into that, yeah.

From the Vatican?

From the Vatican's breakdancing

team.

The only Olympiad this week, or this year, from the Vatican.

Well, thank you, Yumi, so much for being our guest.

Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, this is so fun.

This is so fun.

And thank you, everybody out there, for listening.

You know what?

If you're looking for an entry-level sport to try out, why not bouldering?

Try it out.

Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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