Episode 915 - Adam Christie

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 915 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who, even though summer's done, he's still rocking the shorts.

Mr.

Dave Shumka.

Summer's been done for six hours.

Yeah, but you're still holding on.

Well, I'm a hot guy.

You are a hot guy.

Everybody says.

That's why I'm on that

calendar.

That calendar with all the other firemen.

You're the one, every year they're allowed to have one non-fireman.

Yeah, it's sort of a make-a-wish thing.

I want to ruin a calendar.

Not the whole calendar, just a month.

But I want it to be December.

Because I get to, I'll be like shirtless with a Santa beard and hat.

With a beard is clearly fake.

It's coming off like Mad Santa.

Did you like Mad Santa?

Yeah, I thought it was okay.

It's, you know, he's with Billy Bob Thornton when he plays Billy Bob Thornton.

Yeah,

when he plays mean.

Yeah, when he plays mean or just kind of crusty.

I will never forgive him for what he did to my favorite radio host.

And that's the most famous thing about that host,

as far as I know.

It was for a long time.

Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, he has an album coming out this very week on all streaming platforms and maybe available for physical purchase.

I don't know, but it's called Dragonfly.

And our guest,

Dragonfly is

Adam Christie.

Hello.

Hi, everyone.

Hello.

I didn't prepare an overheard.

Let's do this.

Well, you have...

I just realized that.

Now.

You have about an hour to think about it.

Okay, well, you guys do the podcast, and I'll be over here thinking about things I've heard.

Maybe it'll be the podcast.

You're in for it.

I heard these two guys talking about Billy Bob Thornton.

In this day and age, what's your favorite Billy Bob Thornton role?

Go.

Oh, my God.

I don't know.

I don't really know him that well.

What are some big ones?

I like them in the movie for simple planners.

A simple plan?

Yeah.

He was in Simple Plan?

He was in the Quebecois power punk band Civil Valley.

Yes.

Bam, I'm just a kid for Billy Bob.

Billy Bob.

He plays a simpleton in that.

Life is a Thornton.

And he's also played a simpleton in Flingblade.

And then is there a third Billy Bobby?

He plays drums in the Boxmasters.

So, yeah, that's it.

Does he go to space?

Is he in

Space Spouse Cowboys?

Oh, no, no, he's Armageddon.

Is he like, hey, you better not mess up my Armageddon?

Yeah, that's my favorite Billy Bob Thornton movie, Armageddon.

He's the man who wasn't there.

Yep.

Yep.

And he was.

He was in.

Williams Mad Santa.

We established that.

Yeah.

Then he's in Lawman.

I don't know that one.

It's from the world of Yellowstone.

Oh,

the Yellowstone universe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he also, him and Angelina Jolie used to be married.

And they used to

have blood vials on their necks.

They porked.

Horked?

They porked.

Horked.

Porked.

Pork.

And he was also on the first season of the TV show Fargo, which was good.

That was good.

Yeah.

Didn't see it.

There was a great like

snowstorm shootout.

Yeah.

It was, well, let's get to know us.

Get to know us.

We've established all of our favorite Billy Bob Thornton roles.

Before we started the podcast,

you were asking Dave what he feels about the new CFL rules as a

today.

They changed the rules of the CFL.

So the Canadian Football League is distinct from American football, gridiron football.

In that it has a wider field,

a longer field.

It has

the end zone's 20 yards.

The end zone's 20 yards.

So the field is 110 yards long.

And the players all have part-time jobs.

A lot of them are firemen.

They have

motion in

your receivers can be.

So everyone can start running around before it starts.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

Well, you can't do that in the NFL.

The ball is bigger.

The ball is bigger.

Oh, and the field goal post is at the front of the end zone.

Yes.

And there's also 12 guys on the field per team instead of 11.

And

there was a thing called a rouge.

which is if you miss a field goal and it goes out the end of the end zone, you get a point.

Okay.

I don't know.

I can't explain why this league exists.

No one in Toronto cares about this.

I know.

Toronto doesn't care about this.

No one in Vancouver cares about this.

Wow, that's not true.

Bridge and Tunnel Crab.

You know, that's easy.

That's why they're called the British Columbia Line.

That's right.

So it counts.

British Columbia.

Calgary, they're fans of it.

Edmonton, the Elf.

Saskatchewan, they are mental.

Hamilton loves it.

Yes.

Hamilton likes it.

I think Toronto and Montreal cares.

I don't know why.

If Montreal cares, I'm surprised.

They're

the Alouettes.

They are the Alouettes.

But today,

shocking announcement reveals that now the end zone is going to be 15 yards long.

The field is going to be 100 yards long.

That is, to me, feels like the biggest thing.

But yeah, it's still going to be just as wide.

Field goal posts at the back of the end zone.

Field goal posts at the back of the end zone.

The Rouge rule is different.

Oh, no.

So if you miss a field goal and it goes out of the end, because it's now at the back of the field goal of the end zone, zone, then I am following all of this flawlessly.

Yep.

But there will still be some kind of rouge if you like get tackled in a, in the, if you, like,

get tackled in the end zone after you catch a punt.

Or if you wear like a nice kind of shake-up, a little blush.

There will still be a rouge, but not the kick through the end zone rouge.

And I would say in the history of Canadian stand-up comedy, I feel like the fact that there were two teams at one time called the Rough Riders, Rough Riders was maybe the most common stand-up comedy joke in Canada.

Yeah, I can tell you the second most common.

Which one?

Canadians Military.

It's only got one sub, and it's in West Edmonton Mall.

Yes, that is another one.

If you were watching comedy at Club 54 or Comedy Now on the Comedy Network between 1998 and 2008, you would hear that joke.

Yeah, for sure.

Oh, man, now I want to think of the other great Canadian jokes.

Oh, boy.

I mean, I guess it's not stand-up, but I sure love that chicken cannon.

Have we described what the chicken cannon is on the yeah it was on the Royal Canadian Air Force and they would just shoot

they would put in like ingredients like it's you know because he's a turkey and they'd put a turkey in and they would they would shoot at a picture of Justin Trudeau or whatever shoot turkey at him not Justin Trudeau.

No

it would be like Belinda Strawn.

Yeah

this is like 40 years ago.

Yeah yeah

this was a television show that was on television.

Well we've talked about the show itself.

Oh, okay.

No, but please.

We've done 914 episodes.

Forgive me for not catching it.

I don't know the established characters of the entire show.

Well, I mean, there's five.

The established characters are Lou Bagoy.

What's his name?

Roger Abbott.

Don Ferguson.

Yep.

Dave Clark.

Dave Graham Clark.

Dave Graham Clark.

Dave Barrett.

Dave.

Broadfoot.

Broadfoot.

Yeah.

Dave Broadfoot.

And they were famous radio people who had a television show.

Anyway.

And the television show went forever.

Yeah, it went for more than 20 years.

Yep.

Yeah.

But how has the CFL news rocked your world?

Where were you when you heard it?

I was looking at my Discord.

I was looking at a Discord where they were...

Which Discord?

For

the Vancouver Canucks

podcast I listened to with past guest Stephan Eck.

I hate this team.

Oh.

And they were talking about...

It was in the other sports channel.

I didn't know you were a guy of Discord.

I'm on one Discord.

I'm on a you know, I've tried other Discords.

I don't like too many messages.

Do you guys have a Discord?

Do you guys have fans talking to each other?

Yeah, everybody's

on a Facebook group.

They're on a Facebook group, but there's no Discord.

Should we get a Discord?

You sound off in the Facebook group.

Do you do a Discord?

No,

I don't have that.

Have you?

Do you have Slack?

Are you slacking anyone?

I don't have Slack at all.

I don't even know what that is.

Isn't that for just work?

That's what I thought.

It's the same

thing.

But like, what is a Discord?

Is like a message, message board, basically?

Yeah.

Can I?

Because I do it's chat rooms.

It's not a message board.

It's like a chat.

But you guys don't have your own specific like

patreon or do you?

No.

We have a.

Because you guys work for a for a you guys have a boss.

We work for a podcast and conglomerate.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

In the mines.

Yeah.

We release our show through maximum fun.

And our

people who support the show get bonus content through that.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But I'm a Patreon subscriber to a couple things, and they have a Discord, but I don't know what it is.

You don't take part?

No, I got enough going on, you know what I mean?

Do you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like what you do today.

Brother.

I worked all day.

Yep.

And then I had to do laundry.

Then I came here.

Then I go back.

Got to take that laundry and hang it up.

And then I'm going to stop by my friends for a piece of apple cake.

Apple cake.

Is your friend like a German woman?

Yeah, she's a German.

Why don't I stop by Olga's house for some apple time?

You're a hang hanger of laundry?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't want any of my stuff to be too form-fitting.

Oh, just shrink, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, me too, because, I mean, look, my body doesn't make any sense.

Does your body make sense?

Well, I guess it makes sense.

That's one of the classic stand-up Canadian jokes.

Isn't Adam Christie's body?

Boy.

Two plus two equals five there, guys.

Radiohead.

Do you hang them in your apartment or is it in the laundry room?

They got lines in in the laundry room.

Oh, yeah.

See, I hang it, I hang dry it all myself, but I don't have a hanger.

I just hang it on stuff around like a lamp?

Lamp, doors.

Are you putting them on hangers and hanging them or are you just throwing them on?

I just throw them on doors.

Like if you come over to my house, sometimes every surface, like you can easily buy

a contraption that you can hang on.

Yeah, I got a contraption.

But I don't have that.

I just put it all over things around the apartment.

And my girlfriend, who is

adult know, also does this.

Oh, really?

Like, it's maybe the most childish thing that we both do.

It's kind of crazy that we both do this.

Do you hang dry anything?

I try not to.

Yeah.

I have a couple of like shirts that always come out a little bit

wrinkled.

I mean, I assume.

And then

I spray the wrinkled parts and then hang those.

Yeah.

But you have children.

You don't have a lot of time.

You're on Discord all day.

I'm on Discord all day.

You just throw it in the dryer.

Go crazy.

And then, yeah, no, I don't.

But my wife hangs a lot of stuff and she has that contraption.

And, you know, that contraption's outdoor season is coming to an end.

Do you guys do separate laundry?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, I thought you'd married laundry, everything mixing in together.

So

laundry.

We do separate laundry and everyone, like, we used to do the kids' laundry together, but now it's just too confusing because they're too similar in social media.

So I have four or four laundries going on in any.

Four laundries plus, you know, sheets and towels.

And then whatever the dog gets on you know you got to get some generally sheets and sheets and towels yeah blankets maybe duvets is that

sheets that's in the sheets that's in the towels can i ask you a question

you can you know what you can ask anything without prefacing it with can i ask you a question okay um so i just went to the washroom in your washroom and you have a child's uh toilet seat you have a regular toilet seat and then on top of that toilet seat you have another toilet seat that goes on top of the toilet seat that's much smaller yeah it's like i feel like i can make the hole with my hand and i assume that that's for children So because the hole is small, they're smaller.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

But, you know, you must look at that often.

Do you ever try to see if you can do it?

But like, get everything that down.

Yeah, I haven't tried that, actually.

But there, so we, the, the toilet seats, when we moved in, we, we got these special toilet seats for the kids.

Yeah.

But I can remove them, and the kids don't use them anymore.

Right.

But to Adam's question Would you ever I did you think about it?

I have not even thought about it in seven years really at this home really

Really you thought about it immediately.

I thought immediately I was like I wonder if I could do it.

I wonder if I could get everything in there.

Yeah, it's weird though cuz there

might be listening outside, but

children's

butts don't line up with a toilet the way an adult's does

yeah, of course.

That's why you have the thing.

but no, even post-thing, it's um, so there's a lot more like I don't ever remember having to clean the bowl

of substance before the kids moved in.

The kids moved in.

Am I being delicate enough?

Um, yeah, I think so.

I think we're getting

I've been really filthy lately, though.

You're looking at the filth king.

Yeah, what's going on with you?

Just filth.

What do you like?

Your jokes are filthy.

Yeah, what do you mean?

Yeah, just like I'm just in a filthy place.

You're thinking about it and you're talking about it.

Yeah, I've been looking at this toilet.

I'm thinking, can I do that?

Yeah.

Can I do it?

Will I do it?

You're looking at.

Can I will I do?

Your eyes actually went over to an acoustic guitar.

Can I do it?

Yeah, could you get it in there and the little hole in there?

The little hole in the acoustic guitar.

Man, through the strings.

Julianne.

This is what we'll do for

51,000.

spy 1,000.

Yes.

We will try to, it'll be like limbo.

It gets smaller and smaller and smaller until we can't do it anymore.

But we have to go to the bathroom.

Yeah.

Yeah, but how many weeks?

This is going to take weeks.

That's what we'll do.

We'll do a countdown to a thousand and each episode will get smaller and smaller.

Graham will do 100 24 hours of stand-up and we'll be doing that.

We'll come up on stage when we have to go.

We'll be taking medication and

feeding ourselves a little bit smaller smaller just to see how small it can go.

Yeah, sort of like what's the goal?

What's the smallest that you're hoping?

Just until you can't anymore.

But what in your mind, what would you be the perfect smaller?

I mean, that acoustic guitar.

No, I think you would want to go smaller than that.

Yeah, like a shampoo bottle.

Shampoo bottle.

I mean, thanks.

If you're taking medicine for it, it's probably coming out pretty cool.

Well, never mind.

But it's probably shampoo-like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The shampoo bottle will be like, I remember this stuff.

I know exactly

what I'm saying.

Anyway,

sweet home.

If we make it to a thousand episodes with our poo now.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

The FCC is going to be all over this.

Oh, no.

That was also big news, Dave.

Yeah.

And I have to ask you if I could.

That's sister too.

No, no, no.

You guys, I was kind of a fly on the wall.

I'm like, wow, if these walls could talk.

That's what I am.

I'm just kind of seeing what's going on.

Now, Graham might have a better take on this because he's not so much a Canadian football guy like I am.

I'm the biggest Canadian football fan.

Oh, show me the way to the.

You know what I really don't like about it?

The new rules.

How about the new rules?

New rules.

I don't care about the rouge

because I feel like it's kind of embarrassing if you win a game on a missed field goal.

Yeah.

But I like the longer field.

I don't want them to change it and make it shorter.

Yeah.

I don't really care if the end zone's five shorter.

Yeah.

Because the NFL is only 10.

And are they moving the width down?

The width is staying the same.

But the length is going to be shorter.

Length is, yeah, shorter.

Okay.

I think they read like a

ask Reddit After Dark about, and a lot of people said, actually, the girth is good.

And the length doesn't really matter.

And

guys, did you hear this about the girth?

And then the other rules.

New rule?

Length is worse than girth.

What do you think about the rules?

I don't watch CFL, and I was just wondering, because I know you're from the West Coast.

I don't watch the CFL either.

Okay.

Or I watch it if it's on.

You know, if it's on, I won't turn my head.

Yeah.

If I'm at Boston Pizza, which I am every week, I spend a lot of time.

I used to listen to because you like the pierogue pizza, right?

I used to listen to Sports Talk Radio, and it was...

I hated hearing about the CFL.

And I was so happy when hockey.

training camp would start because you would get a little bit of hockey.

We're back.

Okay, Graham.

I'm going to ask you this, but only because I'm forced to by Dave.

What do you think of Jimmy Kimmel's coming back tonight?

Is he tonight?

Is it tonight?

I think it's tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Oh, I didn't hear any of this.

And this?

He's back.

He's back.

Wait, you didn't hear about this?

Yeah, he's back.

No, I thought he was suspended and it was just going to be like forever.

News.

Hot preemptive news.

This will air one week after it actually happened.

So perfect to talk about something that's happening.

I think currently, right?

Do you think he's going to open with?

What have you guys been up there?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I did a thing.

Yeah.

Heard any good jokes lately?

I'm glad he's back, but I think Jimmy Fallon really had a chance to do something there, and he just didn't.

What could Fallon have done?

He just could have stood behind him just like everybody else did, but instead he did a funny little silly thing instead.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So he had a chance.

Even Jay Leno came out of nowhere and supported Jimmy Kimmel.

What?

Even Jay Leno, who hates Jimmy Kimmel.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Why does he hate him?

Because Jimmy Kimmel made fun of

his own show.

With Conan O'Brien.

Oh, sure.

And he pushed him down a hill.

He pushed him down a hill.

That, to me, that was the story of the year.

And he poured hot car oil on him.

Hot car oil.

He's burned by his car, the thing that he loves the most.

Lovers fat, really?

Yeah, Jay Leno turned the ignition to one of his classic hot rods.

It exploded, killing him.

You heard about that, right?

He got burned by oil.

Yeah, he didn't mean DP.

That's a hacky joke.

Sorry, I apologize.

Oh, I like it.

That'll be good for clips.

We're clipping this.

There's cameras now.

God, we got to get cameras.

Yeah.

No, I didn't see the Jimmy Kimball.

I didn't see the Jimmy Fowl thing.

I didn't really watch anything about it, but I read it in the news.

But did you know Jay Delano got burnt by oil?

No.

Yeah, a year or two ago.

Maybe before falling down the hill.

Is he okay?

He's dead.

He was fine, and then he fell down the hill and he's back to square one again.

That walking down the hill thing is so crazy.

Because, I mean, it makes sense logistically, but also it's like hire somebody to drive you the long way around instead of having to go down an embankment.

Because he was like, he was outside Pittsburgh and he was playing a show.

Yeah.

And, but he was staying at a hotel near the highway and he wanted to go to a restaurant on the other side of the highway or something.

Man, that's...

That always sucks.

Yeah.

When you're in a hotel and you're like, oh, I could just walk over there.

And it's actually going to be 30 minutes.

Yeah.

You can see where you want to have Earls.

Do you want to have Montana Steakhouse?

What if that's what he was watching?

I want to have Earls at Montana's Steakhouse.

Imagine watching Jay Leno emerge from the woods.

Like, you'd be like, there's a guy coming out of this.

Jay Leno.

Did you see what happened?

Did you see this?

He's Jay walking out of the woods.

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

We should have closed on that.

I know.

That's really good.

Let's just check the timer.

Yeah, it's about time.

Good night, everyone.

Yeah, so, you know, I'm excited.

I'm excited by the whole thing.

Yeah.

But then there was something

somehow connected to NFL,

this partnership that's forming with Disney and something else.

There's like NFL's baked in there somehow.

What?

Yeah.

Jimmy Kimball and the NFL are baked into what's in the middle.

It's all in the same.

Is the CFL involved?

Is this why they're changing all the rules?

They said, we'll bring back Jimmy Kimball, but you have to take the CFL off our hands.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Is this why Gutterball Alley was canceled?

Because a conglomerate with the CFL?

What's Gutterball Alley?

What's Gutterball Alley?

What's Gutterball Alley?

It was a TV show on the Comedy Network where comics would bowl.

Yeah.

This was like the first year of Comedy Network.

Yeah, it was Keys to the VIP, which was a show about pickup artists having to do wacky things.

That was on at the same time that John Doerr had a show, because I remember asking him about it.

Tom Green had a show.

The Devil's Advocates had a show.

The Devil's Advocates, which were two devils.

Were they puppets?

No, no, no.

They were two men dressed as devils.

Dressed as devils.

They got their start on Speaker's Corner.

Yeah.

That doesn't mean they couldn't be puppets.

That's true.

Kevin Spencer was a cartoon.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Butch Patrick P.I.

was one of them.

Oh, yeah.

Butch Patrick P.I.

Yeah.

With a guy from the movie.

No, it's Butch Patterson.

Butch Patterson P.I.

Yeah.

Wow.

It would have been nice to get on the ground floor.

Hey, here's a Canadian joke, Dave.

Go on.

Go for it.

Magnum PEI.

Yeah, nice.

Oh, God.

I bet you that's how they

pitched Republic of Doyle.

Like, wrote it on a whiteboard.

Gianca Meshi wrote it on a board.

No!

Do you know how he got his

radio show, Q?

What?

Like, they were pitching ideas for what this new show should be, and he just, like, took a marker and wrote on the whiteboard, Celebrities.

That's what the show should be.

It's like the James Cameron, the famed James Cameron thing with the whiteboard.

What did James Cameron do?

He wrote Alien on the whiteboard, and then he wrote a dollar sign after it: Aliens.

Oh, Aliens.

Money.

Whoa, that's really good.

Yeah.

Huh.

What did you do for

Alien 3?

He didn't.

He wasn't part of it.

That was David Fincher.

Oh, yeah.

David Fincher just wrote the number 7 on the whiteboard.

please can I do movies I like after this?

Oh, God.

God bless us all.

Really?

Now, Adam, go on.

Adam, right?

Dave.

What's going on with you?

What's going on with me?

Well, I'm currently on tour in British Columbia, Canada.

And you are doing, you're like, go in front of an audience with a microphone.

Yeah, that's right.

And there's

little speeches.

No, I don't think there's any poo talking.

Well, they know.

You said you've been filthy lately.

Yeah, I have.

I've been really nasty.

But it's off stage more than anything.

Off stage, I've been nasty.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you're on, are you, would you consider yourself a bit like a clean comic?

You're a complete comic?

No?

No.

I can do.

Yeah.

I'm a chameleon.

I don't know how many corporate bookers are listening.

They listen to the show, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

RW and company is

RW and company.

The poor man's club Monaco.

Do you do many corporates?

No.

No.

No.

I often don't do well at them whenever I go.

If I'm offered them, I kind of just trail off a bit and be like, yeah, I'll do it for $5,000 or something like that.

And

yeah, so I don't really do them, but the one time I did one that was exactly perfect was retired CBC audio engineers.

And I walked into the room and it was like 100 of me.

And when they saw me come in, they were like, Yes,

it's like a casting call for guys to play you.

Do you do corporates?

Um, not

a lot since RW and Co.

went out of business.

RW and Co, I actually have a joke about our RW and Co, my new album, I think.

Do what's well, what's the substance of this?

Just asked for pants, and they didn't have my size, and nobody has my size of pants because, again, it doesn't make sense.

Where do you get 3035?

Good question.

3035.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

but like do you get do you have to go to a special website what do you how do you get your pants

yeah i have to go to

gap.tall

do you have you tried um like eating uh more food

no what would happen you probably get a 32 35

yeah that would be good

but then when once we started taking that

poo in a guitar medication, we are going to be shedding

Shampoo bottle is the goal.

That's the goal.

I wonder if there's a lot of people who are.

Shampoo bottle.

You mean the tiny little squeeze?

No, no, like, you know,

screw it.

Okay, so that'll buy the bag.

Just go and then the final one.

The thing that you blow bubbles through.

What?

That was a bubble wand.

That's the ultimate.

There must be a Guinness Book of World Record.

Smallest hold of Pe and Pooh in at the same time.

Wait, at the same time?

Yeah, I thought that's what we were talking about.

Kluang style?

Are we not on on the same page?

We were just talking poo, I thought.

I like saying both things, pee and poo.

I don't know.

At the same time or one after the other?

At the same time.

When you go to the bathroom and you've got to do it, you do it at the same time.

I must have blacked out for the

times, multiple times.

You apparently said both things at the same time.

You've been looking at me this entire episode, and it's weird because there's another person.

So you've go ahead.

Well, I've done corporates.

Yeah.

I used to have an agent who would get me corporates and you'd go, and I don't know if you've experienced this.

I don't know why my hand is like I'm trying to,

but

they would go, you have to do this gig.

It's this much money.

And then they go, do not swear.

Don't say a single swear word or off-base thing or slur or slur.

Don't do anything.

And then.

So a bunch of Polex.

Knock it off a base.

Yeah.

What do you guys want at RW and go, you Polex?

But then you'd get to the gig and you'd meet the guy who's booking the show, the boss, and he'd be like, look at these fucking idiots.

Come on in, boys.

And we'd be like, oh, what's the thing?

And he'd be like, no, please swear.

Please say a slur.

Please do all these things.

They'd want you to do things that you would never say.

They'd be like, there's a guy who works here.

Please kill him.

And you'd be like, no, I don't want to.

Have you ever had that where somebody said before, a set corporate or otherwise, please make fun of this person?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you do it?

No, no, no, no.

I did.

Or usually I make fun of the person who said that

did you know that this person wants me to make fun of you that's fun you should get better friends yeah because that guy's mean i did it some guy asked me to do it and i did it and it was a lot of fun oh wow because it was a it was a guy there who was at the rio theater and he was there with his son and his son's grown up on what online comedy looks like yeah so he was upset that he wasn't getting roasted right so then at the intermission i talked to the guy and he's like do you mind like roasting my son like he's really upset that nobody's and so i just really laid laid into him.

Guys, I'll be right back.

Nope.

Keep going.

Bye-bye.

But I have, I think there's been one circumstance where someone has said, like, my friend, everyone knows him in the audience.

Yeah.

He works here.

Say something about how he loves Portuguese chicken.

Right.

And everyone's going to go buck wild.

And then, like, you know, you get 20 minutes through your set and you're like doing your thing.

And you're like, so anyway, this guy's looking like he's looking at me like a big Portuguese chicken.

And it's dead,

dead quiet

silence that guy was killed by a Portuguese chicken even set up man

but and then the guys

like next to him is like yeah but it's like no one knows this man no this guy's not a popular guy around the office yeah anytime I've tried to do like if I've done research about a thing I'll end up doing a joke about a thing that the company doesn't know.

Yeah.

Like, this isn't this department.

Yeah, and they're like in another country.

Oh, Dave, you're back and because you're covered in blood what happened

uh i left the barbecue on

from from when from before you got here whoa so

well after you cook something on the barbecue i had to like pre-make dinner because i'm uh recording this while uh dinner is happening yeah uh and so uh you know you i cooked some chicken you take it off the barbecue you leave the barbecue on for five minutes to cook off any little excess bit but i left it on for about 40.

Are you guys having a, you're having a nacho?

Yeah, we're having a nacho.

And there's a, there's a post-it note on the nachos.

Like, there's food, and there's a post-it note on top of the food.

That's right.

Can you explain?

Can you explain?

So I made two trays of nachos.

One small, one big.

One small, one big.

Everyone likes different things on their nachos.

I do, well, the kids do chicken and cheese.

Abby does chicken, cheese, and beans.

I do chicken, cheese, beans, and olives.

Do you guys do any green onion on there ever?

No.

Oh, all right.

Shredded lettuce?

Yeah, we shred a lettuce.

Sneaky D's, baby.

Downtown Toronto.

Sneaky D stilettos.

Sneaky Deep.

Sneaky De Stilettos.

It's going to be knocked down to be a condo, but Sneaky Dee might survive.

The base of the condo?

Base of the condo.

Ooh, you'd love a base of the condo.

Fox and fiddle or something like that.

Oh, sure.

Favorite part of the city.

Woo!

Yeah, the base of the condo, as long as the girth is right.

Oh,

that's all of them.

And then I'll do

a cut-up tomato and sprinkle that on us.

After it's done?

After.

Did they do the lettuce after or before?

After, after?

After, yeah.

And I actually don't like it.

I wish they would.

That sounds great.

But I love olive.

What's your favorite place for the colour?

Olive is torn down.

What's part of that?

For the condo.

What's my favorite place that's been torn down?

To make way for conduct.

The Lost City of Atlantis, I think.

Yeah, there's a freshie there

and

five floors.

Mucho burrito.

That's my favorite place.

Do you know what what Graham, the first time Graham and I went to Toronto,

how he described the city?

How?

This is Mr.

Sub country.

I wish.

I think that's factually inaccurate.

At the time, at the time.

Really?

Sure.

We don't have them.

We have one out here.

I love Mr.

Sub.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give me mushrooms.

Yeah.

Subway stinks.

It's the worst.

It's like on the whole ranking of the tier rankings, and you know what I'm talking about, Discord.

On the tier rankings.

Subway is S tier.

No, Subway's bottom.

Bottom, F tier, worst.

What is the, what, what, what do you include in the rankings?

Are we talking all fast food, all sandwich?

All fast food, but not gourmet fast food, yeah.

Okay, yeah.

What do you consider gourmet fast food?

Well, if gourmet fast food would be, hmm, let me think, um, um, like A and W?

Five guys would be five guys.

It's not fast food to me.

Okay.

That's like a nicer upscale burger joint.

Okay.

But Wendy's is, uh, I would consider S tier on the fast food chain.

Is S tier good?

S tier's at the top.

And then it goes to A tier.

It's the same system as Canada Fitness.

Where you would get, you would do your annual fitness test in school and you get a gold, and they'd be like, actually, gold is second best.

Excellent is above gold.

Was excellent silver colored?

No, silver was silver.

God damn it.

Excellent was, I forget.

But S tier, so it goes like, it's all the letter grades, A, B, C, but S is like the top, top?

Significant Supreme.

I don't know.

Saskatchewan.

No, it means something.

What did S tier?

Yeah, I don't know.

Saskatchewan.

Yeah, S Club.

Yeah,

the subway in our neighborhood, it's falling apart.

Their sign is falling apart.

Their sign is coming down.

And it's like, under new management, I'm like, the new management is even worse than the old management.

Old management was driving this into the ground.

What else is in the S tier?

fast food for you really interesting question really really interesting wendy's definitely up there you know and w used to be in the s tier but I think it's down to about B tier because

they're garbage now.

It used to be so nice, and now it's bullshit.

How?

Tell me,

every AW used to be

Subway in the late 90s.

You mean the restaurants itself are clean?

Yeah, it used to be beautifully clean, spotless, fresh fruits.

Toronto, though, Toronto's got some, like, there's AWs on every corner, and they're all filled with a thousand people trying to plug in.

And I will say, like,

Wendy's is S tier food for me, but I don't think it's clean inside.

I drive through.

What's the top Wendy's in the Vancouver-Burnaby region?

So there's not very many.

There's one at 8th and Camby, not too far from here.

City Hall.

If City Hall wants to go grab a burger, that's where they'd go.

There's going to be a Krispy Kreme across the street from there.

Oh.

Gross.

And there is.

T-tier.

And there's one on Grand View and Boundary.

Yeah, that's right between Burnham Valley.

You can hit any of those locations.

And then Marine Drive.

Oh, you know what I've noticed on my travels recently in BC?

Big Arby's province.

Really?

Yeah, more Arby's than I've ever seen in my life.

Maybe if you get out of Vancouver, there's only one.

There's only one.

Oh, really?

Well, Kelowna, they love in the interior, they love a roast beef sandwich.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kelowna is,

how does Katie Ellen describe it?

It's like if Blink 182 ran a city.

It's the most accurate assessment of a town I've ever heard.

Yeah, it's very like, it's like surprisingly, Interior BC is surprisingly like conservative.

Like, there was guys wearing like full cowboy hats in the audience.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It's not that surprising to me.

Right.

Where are you from again?

Vancouver.

Right.

But yeah, it was, it's a lot of people.

People with cowboy hats.

There's people with cowboy hats.

Oh, yeah.

Desert land.

People think that they are in Yellowstone on AMC.

And they're like,

people were, they raised a big stink when the Canucks were against the Oilers in the playoffs, and people were in Kelowna were putting up pro-Oiler material.

What?

Really?

Like, there would be restaurants saying go Oilers.

Do you see there's a little toilet next to me?

This is the goal.

Oh, my God.

There's a little Lego toilet.

Oh, that's it.

That's the goal.

See, we found it.

If we had, could we post this in the Facebook group?

Yeah, let me get a photo of that.

Yeah, this is the one.

I can't believe this.

Can I zoom in on it?

Oh, my God.

Do you have a Tara Kate Kate Blanchette phone sticker?

I do, yeah.

Are you a Tar fan?

I love Tar.

It was my top movie of 2023.

Yeah.

Are you a big Tar guy?

Look at this phone.

What?

Oh, my God.

And this waterfall.

Did you know Tom Henry painted me a photo of Tar?

Really?

Yes.

I love Tar.

Lydia Tar?

Lydia Tar.

Why are you guys so in love with Tar?

It's a fantastic film.

It's just a vibe.

It's a vibe, okay.

Yeah.

It's a tar thing, Graham.

You wouldn't understand.

You wouldn't understand.

What was your favorite movie of 2023?

Me, this guy liked Past Lives.

Oh, no!

I don't even know what Past Lives is.

What is Past Lives?

It's a movie about a woman who dates two boring men and has to choose between one of them.

She doesn't ever have to choose.

Like, it's pretty clear she's just going to stay with the one she's married.

Yeah, they're the most boring men in the world.

And it was nominated for an Academy Award.

I think if you go back and look at Academy Academy Award winners, there's some real stinkers in there that at the time there was hype around them.

But if you see them out of that context, you're like, this movie's like, there's some undeniable good ones, like Driving Miss Daisy.

Yeah.

But yeah, there's some bad ones.

Past Lives.

Past Lives.

Yeah.

That's what I've been told.

I do love the end of the year when we get into those

buzz.

Yeah, the best of this.

And even if it's like

disappointing and not a movie I like, I still like to be in the conversation

and then talk to Graham about movies and he's like, I don't know.

Wait, Graham, are you not are you not a film man?

I love movies.

Oh, okay.

But I very rarely go and see a prestige film.

Oh, really?

Not out of avoidance, but I just very often all the nominees will be like, I haven't heard of any of these.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Huh.

Yeah, I'm more like a guy that like if they make a remake of the Clumps, like that's the kind of movie I want to see.

Yeah, they're remaking with Pete Pete Davidson.

He would be a good choice.

The clumps.

Oh, God.

So, what was your favorite movie of this year?

This year so far?

I've got to say, I really, really liked weapons.

I loved weapons.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

It's like there's a lot of movies that I'll see, and then I'll remember them vaguely, but weapons, I'll remember every second of them.

Yeah, God.

So crazy.

The way they run, too, is so fun.

Yeah.

I haven't tried running like that.

Maybe i should well run around the studio

i want to see people running like that on halloween

yes yes they should make that a rule in the cfl everyone if you're not holding the ball you have to run like you're in a weapons

like the weapons kids at least a weapons week to celebrate some of the films of this

that's one of the new rules yeah have a weapons week there could be a long walk week where everyone's walking and if you walk slower than three uh miles per hour you get shot in the head but is that the premise of the walk the long walk yeah long walk so why are they doing it?

Why are they on the society has collapsed?

Oh, so they have to.

And America is in shambles.

So once a year,

is this friction?

Or is it, is it a way, is this really happening?

Dave writes for Bill Maher every week.

Every week.

I fax in some jokes like Johnny Carson.

But yes, the premise is 50 kids from 50 states walk until there's one remaining walker.

Right.

So they walk for like 300 miles until one is the last survivor and they win a big amount of money.

Okay.

And they also win a wish.

Anything they want in the world.

Do they win it for themselves or for their state?

I think that, good question.

I don't know.

It could be either.

So is this wish or this magical wish?

No, it's not a magical wish.

It's just like, I wish that.

I wish I could poo into the tiniest hole and pee at the same time, apparently.

Not apparently.

Check the tape.

I think that's doable.

I can't even do that reliably.

What do you mean?

Oh, yeah, your butthole is famously way back, right?

But so if in this

long, long toilet.

Oh, yeah, way back.

Yeah.

Oh, you know, Dave's legs go all the way up, but his butthole goes all the way back.

That's why I wear a scarf so you can't see it.

That's why I wear such high collars.

That's why you wear that red ribbon around your neck.

In the long walk universe, where they get this money, how do they protect it if it's a lawless society?

Oh, good question.

They don't explain that at all.

Like if they give him a bag of money.

Like, first of all, they just walked 300 miles, so they're exhausted.

And they probably can probably eat transfer.

Society is falling apart, but he's transferred still.

Yeah.

Password is the comedy show we both did.

That's a bit inside.

What is

I just watched

the third diehard movie?

Oh, yeah.

I've never seen that.

Oh, it's good.

The one with Samuel Jackson?

Is that with Avengens?

Yeah, it's with Avengens.

You want to know a fact about that movie?

Yeah.

It was originally written as Simon Says.

Yeah, and then they just turned it into a diehard movie.

Wait, the movie with Dennis Rodman?

No.

No.

So in the movie.

Do you guys know this film, Simon Says?

I know.

I know.

Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook co-features, but not that one.

Yeah, they were kind of the

Shannon Tucker of our day.

Let me look it up.

Simon Says movie.

So, sorry.

Nope.

That's not it.

I think it says S-E-Z.

Look that up.

Oh, like the Pez, Murray Pepper.

Oh, there we go.

Former owner of the PC Lions.

Check it out.

It's definitely Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook.

Wow.

Yeah.

Deep pull.

Yeah.

Well, I'm a big Dane head.

Yeah, what name your favorite Dane movies?

Uh, Waiting.

Um, Simon says, one time, um, good luck, Chuck.

Good luck, Chuck.

My favorite Dane Cook joke, he goes, uh, I used to meet a bad relationship.

You know what I call that?

A relation shit

and piss in a tiny toilet.

He was, you know what?

Looking back, he was fine.

He was fine.

You know what?

I think if you put on Harmful If Swallowed Now, I think you laugh at some of those things.

There's some things I remember.

He does this one aside in one of his jokes.

He's like,

you know, back in the day, which was a Tuesday.

It's like, oh, that's funny.

Oh, yeah.

Did you know that when people say back in the day they made Tuesday?

And also

Burger King joke, BK Lounge.

BK Lounge.

And the pickles.

Listen, give Danis flowers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give him his super finger.

He did.

Give him his super finger.

Super.

He had a bit that somehow involved Bob Barker being held up with strings and then getting caught in the strings.

And it made me lose my mind.

I thought it was so funny.

But

the premise of this movie, Die Hard 3, Die Hard with a Vengeance,

is that

Hans Gruber, Die Hard 1's brother,

Jeremy

Irons, plays his brother.

Yeah.

Jeff Gruber or whatever.

Kelly Gruber.

And

there is a bunch of riddles that Bruce Willis and

Samuel L.

Jackson have to solve.

And it's while all it's all this while he's trying to like steal $150 billion worth of gold.

Yeah.

And it's all a smokescreen so that he can steal this gold.

Oh.

And

Bruce Willis, nobody does wearing an undershirt getting filthier and filthier during a movie better than Bruce Willis.

And he's like, he plays hungover.

It must be fun to like

not have to worry.

Like, you can actually like get a bad night's sleep and be like, oh, it's fine.

I'll look fine tomorrow because I'm supposed to look bad.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

But I was like, I watched it and I loved it.

I saw it in the theater when I was a kid.

And I watched it this time and I was like, this is still really good.

Except for the...

Race first on the truck?

No, that might.

Is that in that?

I don't remember.

Yeah.

But at the end, he like wants to steal all this money.

It's like, you're not going to get away with $140 billion

in gold stolen from multiple countries.

They like from the governments of every country.

They're going to come and kill.

But you know what?

They don't even get the chance because you know who's there?

Who?

Die Hard.

Die Hard.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

And he kills him.

Did you kill him?

Well, no spoilers.

No spoilers.

You can well assume.

Yeah.

He gets his guy in there.

Just

very bad.

Simon says, Die Hard II is bad.

In French, Simon says it's sauvege explosif.

so wait what is simon says what do you mean it's so so he's always saying simon says do this yeah so he oh so the movie was supposed to be a movie called simon says but it was written oh and they uh the screenwriter was like you know i could uh for a couple extra bucks i could turn this character into diehard it's like mario 2

Because Mario 2 was a different they made Super Mario Bros 2

in the in Japan and it was too hard for us because we're too stupid to complete a game like that.

So they took an already existing game with, like, you know, birds that shoot eggs out of their mouths and turnips, and they're like, this is Mario of turnips.

Yeah, just sell that.

Oh,

have you heard that?

This American Life, you guys will know this because you were the second podcast.

The first podcast was This American Life, as you know, and you guys were inspired, and you got to do it.

This American Life, that was the one where Ricky Gervais and his dumb friend.

Exactly.

Oh, man.

But

Carol Pilkington?

Yeah.

It's pretty funny.

Oh, yeah.

That podcast was great.

I love that podcast.

But there was an episode once about the screenwriter who won all these screenwriting awards.

Do you remember this?

And

it was like on the blacklist or whatever.

And they wrote this screenplay.

I might be getting this wrong, but they wrote a screenplay that did really well and went nowhere.

And then suddenly someone called them up and they were like, did you know your movie's getting made?

And they were like, what?

And they're like, yes.

And they're like, it's being made.

And it's called...

Dirty Dancing 2 Havana Nights.

So they took their screenplay and made it into Dirty Dancing 2.

Without them knowing, is the weird thing.

Without them knowing, yeah.

And famously, Dirty Dancing is famous for everything except Patrick

Swayze and what's her name?

Jennifer Gray.

Like, it doesn't matter that they were the leads in the first one.

You just get any old person.

That's a great dancing.

As long as there's dancing and it's dirty, baby, I'll be there front row.

Front row in the theater.

Have you seen

burning my neck?

Front row, side.

Have you seen the sequel to Saturday Night Fever?

Staying Alive?

No.

That's still him, though, right?

Yeah.

Right.

Still Travolta, but he becomes a Broadway dancer.

Oh.

And the movie is great because the person who directed it has no idea what a Broadway musical looks like, and it's the best.

I thought you didn't like prestige films.

I got you right.

You got me there.

Do you like The Prestige?

Yeah, do you?

Yeah, I do like The Prestige.

Yeah, it rocks.

That was good.

Yeah.

So you didn't like, you wouldn't see like the brutalist.

You were like, no, this is.

No, Dave said that it was.

It was about the brutalist thing I saw last year.

Oh, Dave.

Give me a little bit of that.

Did you like it?

You know what?

I liked the first half, and then

I did not like the second half.

I didn't see it.

Oh, really?

I usually like to see all the Oscar movies, but last year I didn't want to because I didn't want to see that.

I didn't want to see Amelia Perez.

I didn't see that either.

Yeah.

What's Amelia Perez?

Amelia Perez was a

time of.

It was a controversial musical.

What was, why was it controversial?

I can't can't remember.

I think it was a musical?

Yeah, it was a musical.

I think it's like it was like culture.

I can't remember.

It was in Spanish, wasn't it?

Selena Gomez was in it.

Was she?

I think she was in it.

And then.

Sure, you didn't watch it.

And then you seem like to know a lot about this.

And then what's the I don't keep up with internet.

What's the woman who was in

Guardians of the Galaxy and

Nardoir?

Nardoir, Nardoir, Nardwar.

Is it next generation?

Navatar.

Nardoir just dropped a Shea Gildress Alexander episode today.

Zoe Saldana was a little bit of a single.

Zoe Salt.

You know, singing.

I don't really like musicals all that much.

No, what's your least favorite musical?

My least favorite musical?

Ooh, my least favorite musical.

Probably the Back to the Future musical that I took my girlfriend to in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

She's a big fan.

And there's many songs about believing in yourself, which really isn't a theme in the movie at all.

That was,

I took my kids kids to Elf the musical last year, and there were too many songs about believing in the magic of Christmas, which is the theme.

Yeah,

no, the Back to the Future, the musical, I actually asked for a refund.

Really?

Well, because the ending big

set piece was the

DeLorean hitting the bolt of lightning and traveling back into the future.

You're dabbing.

Yeah.

now you're flossing.

So it was supposed to happen.

It was supposed to be this spectacular

effect.

And just the theater just went black and nothing happened.

And then you could hear a guy being like, to the left, to the left, to the left.

It was just everything going into the box to the left.

And then we could hear stage hands like wheel this whatever.

Literally squeak off.

And then the lights came back on after, I would say, it was probably only two minutes, but it felt like 10 hours.

Doc Brown being like, they did it.

We were like, oh, my God.

So I sent a message to Mervish saying, hello, I spent a lot of money on these tickets.

And first of all, I didn't like the show at all.

And second of all, it didn't work.

So can I have my money back?

And they said no.

Really?

Yeah.

Huh.

The good people at Mervish.

Yeah.

And was this.

A play that debuted in Toronto or was this on a Broadway stage?

I have no idea.

Huh.

Back to the Future of the Musical.

It's very poorly reviewed.

You liked, because everything,

or not everything, obviously.

But so many successful movies, they're just like, let's musical fire.

And sometimes it works.

But like, you liked Beetlejuice?

Yeah, the Beetlejuice won't be fun.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

With Collette.

Justin Collette?

I don't know.

I think he's in that.

I don't know how he can sing the whole show like this.

Right.

How do people do that?

Have you ever done any voice acting?

No.

No, me me neither.

No, I got embarrassed at my first voice acting thing.

What happened?

Well, they told me to do it, and then I did it three times, and then the woman goes, Well, that was a good test run, I guess.

Really insulted me.

And you left?

I left.

No.

Yeah.

You walked out?

Yeah, I walked out.

I was just embarrassed.

I was like 23 years old, and I was just like, insulted.

Someone screamed at me at a bar the other day.

What happened?

And you left?

I left.

I went to a bar, and the bartender goes,

I go, how are you?

And I couldn't hear the music was loud.

She goes, ah, no, no, no, no, human experience.

And I just went, I hear that.

I sat down and then another person came into the bar and they go, how are you doing?

And then she went, I'm glad a person who actually cares about what I think is here because I just told that fucking asshole that I want to kill myself.

And he said, he just shrugged it off.

And I was like, what?

And she was like, yeah, this guy's a piece of shit.

I was like,

I didn't hear.

What?

Me?

And she was like, yeah, you're a fucking asshole.

I was like, I'm out of here.

I'm getting the hell out of here.

This is crazy.

Is that a true story?

Yes.

No.

All the adrenaline left my brain.

I was like, I was like stunned.

I was like, I can't stay here.

No way.

Yes.

Is this a Boston pizza?

No.

Because that is like.

Because I have that too, where I'm like at a, if in a loud place, I can't hear the person.

And I'm just like, okay, well, whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, but that's like the nightmare version of that.

Yes.

The worst way it could have gone.

Yeah, because also when someone goes, duh, human experience, you go, yeah, yeah.

Like, no one goes, well, I want to kill myself, human experience.

Like, you don't hear that.

All right.

Have a good night.

But, like, why would a bartender?

That's something that a patron would say to a bartender, not the other way.

You're not supposed to be

saying to them.

Don't burden me with your problems.

Yeah.

Barkeep?

You should have asked for your money back.

This is bullshit.

I'm the guy.

I'm going to kill myself.

Yeah.

But yeah, it got screamed at.

That's insane.

Yeah, it was crazy.

Was that here in the city or that was in?

It was in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

canada oh sure really yeah

give the bar a shout out no i'll do it off air

because we'll all laugh but was it uh was it murvish owned

yeah

it was the queen elizabeth theater

um what was the last time you got shouted at shouted at yeah by like a a civilian oh boy i don't know um

I do.

Oh, there was a guy.

My dogs kind of like jumped out at a guy a couple of years ago and

I had my headphones headphones on, and he was like, Whoa!

And I went,

and he's like, That's not funny.

I'm like, I was just laughing nervously.

Oh, and he was like, That's not funny.

I was like,

Sorry.

And I'm just, my dogs are freaking out.

I'm trying to get out of the way.

And I'm like, whoa, what do I stand here and just let this guy yell at me while my dogs freak out?

What about you?

What was the last time someone yelled at you?

Last time that somebody yelled at me.

It's been a while.

I remember yelling at somebody whose dog was attacking my friend Alicia Tobin's dog, and I yelled at her, and I used the C word, so I went, Oh, yeah, what?

Yeah, you, yeah,

wow, it called for it.

I wouldn't, I would never have if it didn't, but uh, yeah, she was being a C.

Whoa, yeah,

yeah, right.

Have you guys ever used that word?

Uh, once in grade eight, and

felt bad.

Then I was uh told

uh, ooh, so we don't serve this as a Wendy, so

S tier,

not C tier.

Arby's, what tier?

B.

B tier.

I like Arby's.

I've only had it a couple of times.

Horsey sauce.

What's the absolute bottom of the barrel?

Oh, Subway.

Subway.

Subway is the number.

They use like yoga mat in it.

It's gross.

Oh, don't.

Like when they, when they open the door, you get, when you get hit with the smell of a subway.

Really?

Yeah, we love the smell and don't like the taste.

I personally wish that the food actually tasted like the smell.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's it's it's a it's there.

I mean, what do you get?

What's your go-to subway order?

Uh, it would be a veggie.

I'm a veggie.

Right, you're a vegetarian.

And then I'd ask for a little pizza sauce on it.

Ooh.

Put it in the oven.

Oh.

Yeah, you're eating a treat.

Yeah, a little treat.

Yeah, for me, I usually get six or seven foot longs.

Because you're always hosting a party.

No, I just love the place.

That's tier.

Did you ever eat

from a giant sub?

No.

either you guys have i ever yeah and you can't pour from an empty cup and you can't eat from a giant sub that's true

um have you yeah yeah it was awesome yeah it's great yeah what uh where'd you pull from middle middle yeah where do they

with the veggie section uh well it wasn't at the time i was in a veggie and at the time it wasn't subway it was

like limpies or something like that yeah i don't know how they do it do they because they must need a big oven big long oven to make the bread that big?

It's true.

Yeah.

And I don't know how they transport it.

I don't remember.

Have you seen the old commercial with Scotty Pippen

for a sub-place?

No.

No, let's watch it right now.

It is really good.

Please pull it up.

It'll blow your mind, actually.

Like, it's, it's, all of it is amazing.

Wow.

This is,

keep in mind, this is the time where his teammate, Michael Jordan, is doing very high-budget commercials.

Yeah, yeah.

Here we go.

Okay, so there's an ad before the ad.

Oh my god, are we going to be able to hear this?

Wow, this is one six-foot.

I can't handle one-on-one.

Ladies, let's have a party.

Choose from Mr.

Submarine's great lineup of your favorite subs, Mr.

Submarine's king-size sub, a regular sub piled high with your favorite subjects for the best-tasting meal around.

Mr.

Submarine is the real sub.

He dunks the sub?

So just to narrate for the listener, we see Scotty Pippen at the beginning of the commercial.

There's a giant sub.

We just got to say Dave's algorithm.

And the thing that came up after was the top 10 ugliest bass guitars of all time.

12.

Top 12 ugliest bass guitars of all time.

But sorry.

I interrupted you, Graham.

Please.

Scottie Pippen is talking about a vertical standing sub that he says this is a six footer I can't handle my own, which sounds like a sexual thing.

Ladies, let's have a party.

There's two cheerleaders, he wants to.

So then you see them all sitting on the ground, cross-legged, eating sausage, or eating sandwiches like extras in their own commercial.

And then the girls say something to camera, and then you see Scotty Pippin slamming a basketball butt, then it turns into a sub and then goes into that hat.

Then that's where you'll check it out.

It's worth checking out.

Chicago's original sandwiches.

Mr.

Submarine.

It's Mr.

Subcountry.

Dave, what's going on with you?

Well, speaking of food, you know, I love this stuff.

Yeah.

And I had two great food experiences this week.

Last Sunday, I hosted my whole family, my parents, my siblings, their kids.

Once a year, I try to have everyone over and have a big taco night.

Oh, delicious.

And

I make a carne asada on the barbecue.

Oh, God, it's been on for a week.

Oh, shit.

I'll do it.

I make some beans and some potato tacos for the vegetarians.

But the big

thing that I'm- The showstopper that everyone seems to ask me about that, hey, Dave, when are we doing pie again?

I do a couple of pies.

Yes.

Ooh.

So you make from scratch?

I make pies from scratch.

Dave makes a meat pie.

Damn.

And I made a blackberry pie.

Okay.

Nice.

Because I go over to Gabriola Island every summer with Abby, where her parents live, and there's tons of blackberries there.

So these are hand-picked?

These are hand-picked handmade pies.

Nice.

And then I'll do a

key lime because it's easy.

Key lime.

Yeah.

It's easy?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah, you just make your you gotta make the crust first

out of Graham crackers.

Yep.

Then you pour in the goo.

Then you make the goo.

The goo's pretty easy.

And then goo.

You goo and you put it in the fridge for a few hours.

Huh.

That's ever made a pie?

I think I've helped make a pie, but I don't think I've ever made a pie.

Do you make pie?

No, no.

Well, you just roll it and

then mark it with a D?

Yeah, I guess so in this case.

Wait, are you a vegan or just a vegetarian?

Vegetarian.

Right.

So you can live in a world of pie.

But now he's a gluten.

I can't.

I can't eat gluten anymore.

Oh.

Yeah.

I think it was, I think I had all the gluten I was allowed, and then

God was like, you're done.

And then

which God is that?

Huh?

Which God?

Raw.

A sun god.

The sun god.

You didn't know Graham's a.

He said it so quickly, it has to be true.

He's an ancient Egyptian.

I still follow the teachings.

Yeah.

I wear an onk.

He's always texting me in hieroglyphics.

A lot of them are emojis these days.

And also, if you listen to the message out loud, man standing sideways, hawkhead.

Pyramid.

Horse.

Yeah.

And he only listens to the podcast of when they reconstructed that.

You've seen this video.

No.

Where they reconstructed the vocal cords of a Pharaoh?

No.

We'll break it up.

This is.

Wait, any talks?

Well, they were able to make it make one sound.

One?

Okay.

What did we say?

Pharaoh?

Pharaoh larynx.

Or mummy?

Whoa.

Voice box, maybe?

Okay, mummy voice.

Yeah.

Oh, he talks like Beetle.

Scientists were able to mimic Nessi Amun's voice by recreating his mouth and vocal cords with a 3D printer.

It allowed them to produce a single sound.

No, that's not real.

That is real.

That's it.

That's for CV.

That's not a funny video.

No, that's real.

Oh, my God.

Oh, man, you gotta see these ugly faces.

But is that fake?

That's got to be fake.

I've heard that.

I've always believed it was real, but now it might be fake.

I don't care to know if it's real.

Yeah.

Leave it the way it is.

Anyway.

So you're making tacos.

You're making pies.

I'm making pies.

And every year I sell out of pies.

Every year it all gets eaten up.

I'm always like, oh, maybe the next day I can make like uh breakfast burrito with the leftover taco stuff.

No, can't do it.

It all gets eaten.

Oh, okay.

And but and I'm like, oh, maybe I can have a little extra pie the next day.

Pie always gets eaten.

So this year I made two

SEMA.

Oh, I hope that mean

vocal voice gig director.

Well, that was, what did she say?

Well, that was completely.

Well, that was a nice little test, I guess.

I wonder if she heard the mummy and was like, ooh, that's guy's good.

After that, you only get to choose one noise.

Go.

After that test, I'm going to kill myself, and this guy doesn't even care.

I made three pies this year, two Blackberry, one key lime.

Okay.

And then unfortunately, some of my family couldn't come.

Oh, no.

And so I ended up with a whole pie to myself.

Now, this is first world problems.

Yeah.

And so

I made the pie on

Saturday.

I had a piece on Sunday.

And then I had a piece of the second pie on Monday.

Yeah.

And a sensible lunch.

And then another one on Tuesday.

Yeah.

And then another one on Wednesday.

Then I had another piece of that pie on Thursday.

Go on.

And I was like.

This sounds like a fairy tale.

Maybe I should stop eating this weak old pie.

So no one else in your, because you have family who lives with you.

Yes.

You don't live alone.

This isn't a bachelor's.

Well, Abby, there was some leftover of the key lime, and she had that.

She had that.

She prefers that.

Do you let your children eat the pie?

No.

They don't like the pie.

They don't like pie.

They don't like, they like crust.

Oh, yeah.

Crust is great, but not liking pie.

I feel like kids cannot like pie.

It's too gooey inside.

As a kid, I didn't like pie till I was old.

But I love once pumpkin pie came along.

Ooh, yeah.

Oh, I do love, I always loved pumpkin pie, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, so I had to throw out a little bit of pie colour.

It's just like, I just don't trust this pie anymore.

I would have pushed it into somebody's face or something like that.

Yeah, we could have done a thing for the clips.

Yeah, that would have been good.

So what was left?

Just one triangle?

No, two triangles.

Two triangles.

Okay.

I cut it into sixths.

And

so two sixths.

Was there ever a temporary piece?

People eat like one pie in the morning and then one pie at night?

Yeah.

Like have pie for breakfast and then pie post dinner?

That's good.

Yeah.

Yeah, I really

like pie.

I like an afternoon coffee with a sweet treat.

But it's summer, when it's hot in the summer, I don't want that afternoon coffee.

Yeah.

You'd still want that sweet treat?

I guess so, but I was having the pie as dessert.

Yeah.

With ice cream.

Yeah.

Nice.

So that was part of that was my first food experience of the week that I want to tell you about.

Okay.

Are we ready for the second food?

Yes, I am ready.

Yeah, I'll sit down.

I went to

McDonald's this week and I tried their McVeggie.

Oh,

okay.

And there's a brand new sandwich in Canada.

And it is a,

well, tell us all about it.

I was expecting it to be a fake meat thing like you're Beyond.

Beyond meat.

Like the ANW.

Went bankrupt.

Did they?

Yeah, Beyond Meat went bankrupt.

Yep.

Is it gone?

I don't know if it's gone.

I think I saw it in stores recently, but I think the company went bankrupt.

What's A ⁇ W serving?

And W?

Yeah, they do Beyond.

Oh, well, maybe it's still Beyond.

Also, I could be making this up.

This is something my girlfriend.

I know Eve's fake meat, they discontinued.

Oh, that stuff was disgusting.

Yeah, that was 90s fake meat.

Yeah, that wasn't even fake meat.

So

it was not a fake meat.

Well, Eve's wasn't.

No, no, the patty of the McDonald's.

So the McDonald's one is not fake meat.

It is

a

patty made of carrots and peas and things like that and soy.

Okay.

Deep fried.

Yeah.

So it's like it's like a McChicken made of peas.

It's crispy.

It's crispy.

Okay.

And it's served McChicken style with mayonnaise and lettuce.

Okay.

Sneaky D style with lettuce on top.

Not just.

No ketchup, no mustard.

This is a

good one.

Okay.

No relish.

No relish.

Okay.

Sure.

And you eat it.

You eat it and you go, huh, that was a...

That was fine.

Yeah.

Oh.

And then a half an hour later, you get a stomachache, but it's nothing serious.

Yeah.

You're not running to the bathroom or anything.

Just a little, just a little grumbly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the thing is like McDonald's around the world, they serve different things based on the culture.

Yeah.

And I don't understand why they didn't try a veggie thing until now.

And why do they don't just do a fake meat version of every sandwich they have?

Fake meat Big Mac.

Yeah.

Why not?

Yeah.

And of course it comes along after I can't eat gluten anymore.

So I never even, I don't even get to enjoy the the lettuce.

And they don't do a lettuce wrap at McDonald's, right?

Because it's all shaved.

Yeah, that's right.

Even the deep-fried coating is probably gluten-y.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a shame.

It's a shame.

Would you try it?

No, but you know what I did try at McDonald's recently because we went to McDonald's and I had, they have like a whopper type sandwich now.

Okay.

Like they have a burger.

with lettuce and tomato, which typically tomato is not used on the hamburger of McDonald's.

No, that's right.

Unless it's the MCDLT.

The MCDLT, which is discontinued.

They discontinued it when?

I don't know.

But Jason Alexander was in the commercial, and he's been long dead.

R.I.P.

R.I.P.

How did he die again?

How did he die?

He was on that submarine that went bad.

Oh, boom.

Yeah, yeah.

He was the one who was like, maybe an Xbox controller.

We should take this part out.

Whoa.

Let's look at 109.20, please.

What's wrong with that?

The tragic death of a bunch bunch of people.

Yes, having a hard time.

Daddy, right?

And we're back.

Yeah.

When they, McDonald's did like an adult

version of McDonald's, they were like, that's something that adults eat.

It's not just for kids.

And they made a thing called the Arch Deluxe, and it had tomato and lettuce on it.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah.

Which I believe I went to Europe one time and they were still selling it in Europe.

No way.

Yeah, the Arch Deluxe is still there.

Or it's called something else, but it is that burger.

Yeah.

Well, they did their European menu this summer here in Canada.

Did they?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What?

And I got the McRochdi.

McRochdi?

Yeah.

Or the Big Roshdi.

What?

The Big Roast Die.

Which had a hash brown on it.

Oh, that's amazing.

800 calories.

Holy shit.

That's awesome.

There's my email.

I would love that.

Well, I've had a McCrock Madame.

Which is like a croc madame, like, like, um, it's like a grilled cheese sandwich that they make in France.

Okay.

And, like, generally, I don't like it because it's like the oiliest sandwich you've ever had in your life.

But I had the McDonald's one.

It's also really oily, and I didn't like it.

I don't know why I have it.

I do know I have it.

It's generally really oily, but I thought McDonald's would maybe figure that out.

Wow.

Can I just say you guys are knocking it out of the park?

You guys are the best podcast hosts in the world.

Adam.

I'm as good as our guest.

Whenever I'm here, you guys are the funniest two guys I've ever met in my life.

And people talk about you.

They reverse shit shit talk you

talking about you the other day to people everybody loves you guys and I fucking love you and I love you and I don't know if guests give you your flowers and and stop a podcast and it's dead heat They don't you guys are the best.

Oh my god, I left it up and on

I

Thank you for that.

Thank you Adam.

It's true.

I've been looking forward to this when you said you sent me a message a few weeks ago saying Dave, you're in town.

I'm coming to town.

We should like have a meal.

And I was like, I don't want to have a meal.

I want to get on the damn pie tonight.

I've got too much pie to go have.

We could have had both, but I was like, You could have finished off the pie.

I could have.

What'd you throw in the garbage?

Is it still a thing?

Yeah.

I

was looking so forward to this episode.

I got to tell you, the last few guests.

Oh,

Davis hold his nose the whole time.

Oh, they were stinky.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a small room.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Small room, small hole for the toilet.

And a lot of them missed.

A lot of them missed.

Oh, God damn.

Anyway, so I had these burgers and check them out.

Hell yeah.

It's called the McVeggie and it's fine.

Check them out.

Graham, what's going on with you?

I went this past week.

This is the first time I've ever been in this place, but it wraps up me being in every province of the country.

Oh, I went to Prince Edward Island.

Oh, you had never been.

I've never been.

Yeah.

What did we say before that we both knew?

I can't remember.

No, me neither.

You had never been to Prince Edward Island?

No.

Wow.

Yeah.

So.

Okay, please, please.

I was only there for a day.

Okay.

Ah, but tried to pack in as much Prince Edward Island as they possibly could.

Yep.

An island famous for and of Green Gables.

And of Green Gables, which potatoes,

potatoes of soil red.

Your mussels and your lobsters and whatnot.

There's a band.

What band is for PEI?

There's a big band.

There is a big band for PEI, and I can't remember what they're called.

And then...

Now my YouTube algorithm is feeding me screen light with good lighting for streaming.

It's just a ring light.

It looks like a pretty good light.

I mean, if you had

the rest of the lights off.

Is it two hours traffic?

No.

No, it's

simple plan.

It's a simple plan.

Is it Boxer the Horse?

No.

Okay, sorry.

I've developed.

Stomping Tom Connor.

He's from PI.

I think so.

Whoa.

He

having to describe him to somebody

because we were talking about him because he sings a song about a potato from Prince Edward Island.

And trying to describe what Stompin' Tom Connors is to a young person

is insane.

And you were doing like a library reading where you had to explain yourself.

Exactly.

I had to defend my thesis to a bunch of children.

Who's stopping talking to us?

Well,

he's a cowboy man who brings a plank on stage and stomps his boot through it.

Yeah, he's for children.

He's for adults, but for children.

Yeah.

He's for children.

It's like the bare-naked ladies.

It is for children.

Well, it's, I think.

See, this is what you should cut out of the episodes.

People will be more mad about this than the submarine people.

No, listen, I love the bare-naked ladies, but when you hear them when you're 10, you're like, this is the most important band I've ever heard.

That's true.

And recently

I had to describe to

a woman who's 20 years old who Mr.

T was.

Wow.

And when you try to explain who Mr.

T is, it sounds absolutely insane.

Yeah.

Like we know what it is, but if you're trying to describe it to somebody.

Ah, boy, I don't envy the fool who has to do that.

I don't envy the fool.

Who's today's Mr.

T?

There must be, he must be like an internet celebrity or something.

Oh, yeah.

Mr.

Beast.

Kai Sanat.

I show speed.

Who's iShow Speed?

He's a guy.

He's a streamer.

Who's also very fast?

But it's like Mr.

T was a character, but he also was a guy at the same time.

He's the same as the character.

I've talked about growing up in the 80s and how there were so many guys like that.

Yes.

And how it confused me.

Like, oh, is...

Okay, Mr.

T is a Mr.

T, but he's also a guy,

and he's our cartoon.

And then Pee Wee Herman, is that a guy?

Well, it's sort of a a guy.

And Max Hedrim, is he a real guy?

Yeah.

Does he ever take it off?

And what about you, Cindy Lauper?

Cindy Lauper.

Sure.

Mr.

T's daughter is doing stand-up now, and I don't know if she did a clip on Don't Tell, and I would recommend looking it up because she tells a really funny story about how Mr.

T's her dad.

That's all it's amazing.

Yeah, it's really funny.

That's tonight.

So, wait, why were you explaining Mr.

T to a 20-year-old?

For Prince Edward Island Memorial Day.

Yeah.

That was, I was in, I was part of a puppet workshop, and at some point,

one of the instructors is my age, Mr.

T was brought up, and then there was a 20-year-old there, and she's like, who's Mr.

T?

And I was like, okay, where do I start?

Have you seen Rocky III?

No.

Okay.

Have you ever heard of the A-Team?

No.

You've never seen a guy.

He's got lots of gold chains.

No.

Why does he wear the gold chains?

Great question.

He has a Mohawk.

I pity the Fool.

WrestleMania.

I think he.

Yeah, he was a WrestleMania.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But none of it makes any sense.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So, yeah, Stomped out of Connors, I believe, from PEI.

Yep.

And

I, like I said, never been there before, so I ate some potatoes.

Yep.

I can't have shellfish allergic.

So

I know.

Raw is really doing a number on you.

Yeah.

He's testing you.

Black me, Raw.

You're like Job from the, well, I guess the Egyptian Bible.

So, yeah.

I went and walked on a red sand beach.

Yep.

I have you been?

Yep.

I had cow's ice cream.

Yes.

Which is a big thing out there.

Yep.

Wow.

And one day.

Is that PEI?

Or is that all maritime?

Cows.

Cows is PEI.

Yeah, cows are really big of them.

You can get it in other places, but yeah.

But the main...

And so.

Did you drive across the bridge?

Yes.

Yes, you did.

And so I was driving from New Brunswick to PEI.

I had to go across the bridge.

And nobody in the car that I was in had been across the bridge.

So they're like, hey, Graham, take a bunch of pictures of it.

And as soon as you get on it, it's just a cement bridge.

You can't see anything.

Yeah.

There's nothing to see.

It's not romantic in any way.

It's awesome.

It is awesome.

It's a really, it's one of the longest bridges in the world.

Question mark?

Maybe?

Yeah.

Did you get

those

Anne of Green Gables braids?

Like Mickey Mouse ears?

I just got my own hair braided that way at the salon.

Yeah.

The Anne of Green Gables.

Oh, and something I didn't realize.

past guest Yumi Nagashima said that

Anna Green Gables is gigantic in Japan.

Right, yes.

That Japanese people love.

Yeah, they did Anna Green Gables live at Budicon.

Was that a charity event of some sort?

No, it was just this epic 70s

double album.

And then

this was for the debaters.

And during the debater show,

Steve Patterson queued the audience to sing a song called Bud the Spud.

Everybody in the audience knew the song, and they all sang along.

And I was like, we don't have that.

We don't have a regional song that if you queued people up here.

Ontario has one kind of from the 70s, the Ontario.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if people don't know that, though.

I don't think.

I would doubt that most people my age know that.

Does Alberta have one?

Not really.

I mean, yeah, I don't know.

Maybe this is the thing I've talked about a lot is that I don't know what BC culture is.

Probably it's on the totem pole of or a lot of totem polls, that's one of them.

Okay, well, got hundreds of people.

Say no more here.

But I don't know.

There's no letter Kenny for BC.

There's no trailer park boys for BC.

Portlandia is the closest approximation.

Vancouver, Washington.

No,

there isn't anything.

It's underrepresented in Canadian culture,

in the national Canadian culture dialogue on Canadian television.

Yes, that people don't know.

I'm sure the Ontario song would be something by the Tragically Hip.

Yeah.

Like Bob Cajun or Cajun is a good one.

Yeah, Bob Cajun.

I feel like Manitoba has one.

I hate Winnipeg.

A lot of people know that song.

Oh, yeah.

What do they play when the Leafs score a goal?

Well, they used to play

Make My Dreams Come True.

But then they got rid of that because we still didn't win the Snailie Cup.

So I think they tried to change it a bunch last year.

At the moment for the Canucks, they play

Don't You Forget About Me.

These are both terrible goal songs.

It's like it should be something like, because what's the scene that does that song that's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, like, that's cool.

That is cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, the Canucks used to do...

It was a Van Halen song where they took out the vocals except for the

maybe ain't talking about love or something.

I just had anyway.

But then the worst one was the Blackhawks had that song that was

I like that.

I know, but I hate them.

Oh, okay, okay.

So I hate that.

I'm currently mad at the Raptors because they've stopped playing Money City Maniacs at Raptors games.

They used to play Money City Maniacs whenever we'd go into the fourth corner, and it was awesome.

They don't do the name of it?

Yeah, and no, they've stopped.

For any reason?

They play like Thunderstruck or something.

No, I don't know.

That's hacky.

I know.

It sucks.

but sorry so p uh that's so much like were you exhausted so exhausted i was exhausted by the end of it because you also did an episode of the debate so one night you were there yeah one night so where were you before like moncton we were in the saint john st john and then you drove and then you did so beach yeah ice cream

uh

uh uh uh

potatoes potatoes did you go to anne of green gable's house did you go too far away and somebody told me uh past guest John Cullen, said, The house is, you're done in three minutes.

And also, it's not a real house.

This is not a real person.

It's not like the Anne Frank house.

It's like this is a fictional character's house.

And yeah, he said that the tour concludes with, well, you can wander around the woods, and that's where Lucy Maud Montgomery is.

And there's just like these stories.

Jay Leno comes out.

And there's tons of Japanese couples try to conceive for children on the grounds.

Did you do any touristy stuff in New Brunswick?

Did you go up Magnetic Hill?

No, I was going to go to the Reversing Falls, and somebody says it sucks, so don't go to it.

Baya Fundy.

Bayafundi's cool.

But it was far away.

Yeah.

No, I went to the world's largest lobster in Shadiak.

Oh.

And we drove past the Scotty plant that had a giant rotating roll of toilet paper.

Whoa.

But it was on the side of the highway.

You couldn't stop to take a picture of it.

But it was huge.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The biggest in the world?

Oh, it's got to be.

Who else would claim it?

I know Cottonlle.

The people of Cottonlle like that.

There's all, like, I don't know if they have like a regional song for every province.

Yep.

Maybe Quebec has a few.

They're just the last theme song.

But they, I, I remember my friend past guest Chris Kelly is from New Brunswick.

And I just remember talking to him about

local songs that would get played at weddings.

Here, if you were at a wedding, you would never hear the Rankin family.

But there you would, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And my brother and all of his friends at some point on the dance floor at their weddings was a song of Baby Let Me Smell Your Dick.

And that's a good idea.

Oh, yeah.

I know lots of other friends.

Yeah.

Among the friends?

Yeah.

Why are you coming home five in the morning?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something going on.

Smell you over too.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's kind of our local.

Maybe Home for a Rest by Spirit of the West.

Yeah.

And, you know, in Saskatchewan, it would be the Rough Riders.

Oh.

Green is the something.

DMS.

Green is the color.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we had that, too.

Did we also have a VC one?

Well, like, yeah, I feel like there was a Vancouver white cap.

White is the color.

Soccer is the game.

What about

what's that swollen member song?

Oh, swollen.

Always.

Drinks.

Drinks.

Oh, yeah.

Mad Child.

Mocha Only.

Mocha Only and Prevail.

Prevail.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I went.

I did everything I possibly could do.

Oh, and I also ate at the airport.

There was a place called Budley's, and I ate Budley's Budley's?

Yeah.

Budley's Spudley's, and I had a nice meal there.

Did you fly out of PI?

I did.

I flew out of there.

Tiny little airport.

Yeah.

Where to?

To Montreal.

And then to Canada.

Yeah.

So are you

Canada?

Correct.

Tried to trip you up.

That was a test.

So are you, when you do travel, are you like this?

Do you try to see as much as you possibly can when you go to a place?

If it's a place I've never been to before.

Right.

Yes.

You try to just itinerary.

Do you make an itinerary?

It's very stressful.

Right.

Yeah.

But you've been to Whitehorse enough that you don't have to.

Yeah, I don't have to.

Or like Ottawa.

I don't go out of my way to do anything automatically.

Because you've presumably done this.

But what's a city you've never been to before?

Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island?

Yeah.

We didn't even record in Charlottetown.

It was smaller.

So have you ever to like Rome or Lisbon or Paris?

I've been to Paris.

Yes.

And that was also.

Paris, Ontario.

Yeah.

That was an itinerary days long.

Have you ever been?

Paris, Ontario is beautiful.

Is that?

And I've said I've been on record.

London, Ontario is not.

Awful.

Worst.

Yeah.

D-tier.

Yeah.

Yeah, D-tier.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I tried to do some.

And you get, and you, and you, so do you have full itinerary before you go?

Do you have a Google Maps with different things?

Oh,

I get something from the locals.

They'll tell me where to go.

Okay.

I'll go do that thing.

Because sometimes you go to a place and they've got a famous thing and then the locals will be like, don't do the famous thing.

Do the other.

There's a place a couple blocks away.

How much research do you do before you go to a place?

Very little.

Very little.

Okay, okay.

Although I was going to read Anna Green Gables before I went, but then I didn't.

Life got in the way.

Huh?

Life got in the way.

That's right.

Yeah.

You want to make Raw laugh?

Just tell them about your plans.

Yeah.

Raw said, ha.

Well, wow.

Yeah.

You're a good traveler.

It was fun.

It's a beautiful little town.

Friendly people.

Oh, my God.

So friendly.

Are you a big traveler?

Yeah, I love traveling.

And do you itinerize?

Yeah, and I'm like that.

And I will research beforehand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's been your busiest itinerary of a place that you've been to?

Oh, man.

Well,

I toured around the UK, and every single...

day we'd get to a new place we'd drive for three hours and then the headliner would go and sleep because there was

Randy Fell face and then I would go look at everything that you could ever see in Leeds, UK, or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And I would like in the car, I'd do like research on what to go to, like where to have the pint, what's the best pub after the show, blah, blah, blah.

But it's very exhausting.

And you know what?

I'm currently on tour with two 30-year-old comics, 28 and 30,

Alex Andy and Kyle Patton, who are so funny.

And they are 10 years younger than I am.

And I am like, it's the first time I've been like around people where I'm like, I do not have as much energy as you guys do.

So today, like Alex has never been to Vancouver.

So they're like walking around.

They're going to do stuff.

And I'm like, I'm going to do this podcast and I'm going to go back to the Airbnb and like watch a movie.

Yeah.

You guys like go crazy.

It's

I can't do it.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm not too far away from having either a doctor or a dentist or something that's much younger than me.

The doctor thing I'm more worried about that if my doctor's like, oh, yeah.

28.

That worries you.

Yeah.

I'll be like, what do you know what do you think

you haven't been around and your doctor's like oh your body's not bussing

what do we think chat

well should we move on to some overheard sure

hey it's sue the subway train

Hey, guess what, Sue?

I just inherited a game show, and I have to continue it because there are people out there who like to curl up into into a ball and listen to it.

Yeah, it's a podcast where listeners submit game show ideas for others to play on air.

Well, it is.

In fact, the dumber the better.

Right, right, it's called Dr.

Game Show.

Some curled up balls consider it a tradition, while others call it a train wreck.

No, not you, Sue, it's Doctor Game Show.

If you're the sort that likes to listen to people competing for refrigerator magnets, then curl up into a ball and listen to Dr.

Game Show every other Wednesday at maximum fun.org.

Are you a five-star baddie?

If you answered yes, then Black People Love Paramore is the podcast for you.

Contrary to the title, we are not a podcast about the band Paramore.

Black People Love Paramore is a pop culture show about the common and uncommon interests of black people in order to help us feel a little bit more seen.

We are your co-hosts, Sequoia Holmes, Jewel Wicker, and Ryan Graham.

And in each episode, we dissect one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't associate with the black black people, but we know that we like.

We get into topics like ginger ale, the golden girls, black romance, uno, and so much more.

Tune in every other Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping black people feel more seen.

Find black people love paramore on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard.

Overheards, where you hear it, we hear it, and then we all just leave it alone and never speak of it again.

And if you out there have an overheard, it's nice of you to share it with us.

And we also like to ask the guests if they haven't overheard.

Adam, do you have an overheard?

Yeah, I was at a park in Kelowna.

Wait, wait, wait.

Yep.

An hour ago, you did not have an overheard.

That's right.

So it is possible.

I've just been on autopilot this whole hour.

I haven't heard a word.

You were just in the fugue stage.

I haven't heard a word anyone said.

I was in a park in Kelowna,

and we, me, and the two aforementioned comedians.

Is that how I use that word?

Aforementioned?

Yeah, you aforementioned them.

We were sitting down and eating a sandwich in this nice park.

And nearby, I would say about 10 meters away, there was a couple lying down on a blanket and covered with a blanket, like they were sleeping.

Yeah.

And the one woman,

we were talking, and then Alex, just in the middle of a sentence, saw something.

He goes, what the fuck is that?

And we looked over, and the woman stealthily was taking off her bathing suit

bottoms.

Sure.

Stealthily, as in, like, the, you know, as you are on a bed, like the covers are

on top of you.

Yeah.

So

she was taking off her full bathing suit bottoms.

And

you couldn't see this happen.

You wouldn't be able to see her

bare ass and privates unless you were sitting behind her, which we were.

So we just saw this woman struggle to take off and put back on.

And the blanket that's supporting her is just going everywhere.

Like we could see everything.

And this woman's just bare ass is just out and we're losing our minds laughing.

And we were like, what the hell's going on?

Like, why would you do this?

Were there more people around that, like, that she was successfully hiding from?

I guess so, yeah, but not us.

And she doesn't know, and she'll never know, that this will be a memory for you for the rest of your life.

For the rest of my life.

Like,

I saw a naked, I mean, like, pants down person the other day.

Yeah.

You don't really see that often, but.

I guess you don't see it that often.

No, not enough.

Do you have anything?

Yeah.

Moments that stick with you forever from like, just like, well, you know what?

The first, I'm trying to set you up but i literally have a thing i want to say yeah no i know yours what i think

still tell me no i don't know i'm curious yeah it's about a dad at a restaurant no

oh okay

mine is about

i was on a like a my college uh broadcasting school.

We did a tour of broadcasting facilities in Alberta and BC and we stopped in a park in Lake Louise.

And me and two guys were throwing a frisbee just through this nice park.

And then a pretty lady

starts biking through the center of the park.

And my friend throws a frisbee, and it goes way off course and smacks her right in the face.

And I'll just never forget that.

You'll never forget.

Did she fall off the bike?

No, but she was embarrassed.

She shouldn't have been.

We were the ones, yeah.

What did you think I was about?

A guy and a dad in a restaurant?

Oh, a dad with his kids.

And

he says, Daddy's done.

And all the kids go, yeah.

I was at a Taco Bell.

And it was a guy said, Daddy's full.

And the kids said, yeah.

And I wasn't there.

This is Abby's story.

I think Sheila.

Anyways, I think of that all the time.

Sally and I say it to one another.

Oh, yeah.

That's daddy's full.

Yay.

I love those.

Dave, do you have an overheard?

Yeah.

Mine is from TV.

I was watching the news, and the first thing that came up, it was a soundbite, and

it was just this talking head, and he comes on, and just this young guy in glasses, and he says, well, who does Mayor Brody think he is?

Mayor McCheese?

What?

The top mayor of all mayors.

Yeah.

And it turns out it was this news story about

the city had had a catered dinner, but they also got a bunch of McDonald's at the end.

Like, apparently it's a big hit.

Like, a freedom of information request had come out, and they realized that they had ordered 275 cheeseburgers and 275

junior chicken sandwiches because people like to grab some on the way out.

Sure.

Yeah.

It sounds fucking awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is, I think, a popular thing at weddings.

People will order like a midnight, like 200 cheeseburgers.

And it was $1,800.

Wow.

And I'm, as a taxpayer, I'm fine with that.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to have some fun.

Yeah.

Does Mayor McCheese have to spend money on the hamburgers?

Also, does he eat hamburgers?

He is.

He is a hamburger.

He is hamburger.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got to find this clip.

Mayor Brody McDonald's.

Mayor McCheese.

Let's bring it over here.

Here we go.

Oh, Moxie's.

Oh,

Moxies.

Just don't worry.

This ad will end in 25 seconds.

This guy.

Richmond.

Well, who does Mayor Brody think he is?

Mayor McCheese?

Barry.

What's with that guy's voice?

What the hell?

Why does he sound that way?

He sounds like the mummy.

He's from the Canadian Taxpayers Federation.

What?

But is he doing a silly guy?

No.

That's what he sounds like.

Yeah.

That's insane.

Well, who does Mayor Brody think he is?

Mayor McCheese?

Little Mayor Brody.

Look at his.

I feel like that guy's like a staunch conservative, man.

Man.

I mean, you gotta,

he knows that that's the sad guy that's gonna make the clip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he's practiced it.

Who is Lee?

Have you seen these people?

Wow.

That's awesome.

So that was my over.

That's really good.

Yeah.

Mine is just a little bit of a

conversation, but it's the only thing I caught, and this was in PEI, and somebody said, that's like a limo at a bus station.

I was like, what do you think that

phrase refers to?

Damn.

Yeah, that's like a limo at a bus station.

Yeah, it's like when some

hot chick state and an ugo guy.

An uggo guy is wearing like a

beautiful Seiko diver watch.

Yeah, beautiful.

I'm not saying that that's you.

You're sort of an attractive guy.

No, I'm sort of like a...

my body's sort of a bus depot.

My Seiko watch is a

beautiful, affordable limousine.

You've heard of Shreking, yes?

No.

It's a new young person dating thing where you, as a person, will date somebody who's uglier than you in the hopes that they're nice to you.

Oh, my God.

And what happens more often than not, they're not nice to you.

No!

So you need to get the one thing out of it.

I'm shreking it.

I was at a cafe the other day, and they played that song, if you want to be happy for the rest of your life.

Live and met a pretty woman, your wife, get an ugly girl to marry you.

And I was like, that's a Shrek.

That's the original Shrek.

But I was like, oh, is it also like an incel song?

Probably.

God, it would suck to realize that you're getting Shrek'd.

Like, you're on the Shrek.

You're on the Shrek.

Yeah, yeah.

You're Shrek and she's Fiona.

I'd love to Fiona.

Sure.

That's what I'm doing currently.

My girlfriend, hottest chick in the game.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You, you, uh, you dated up.

What do you call that?

Not married up, but you're dating up.

I'm dating up.

Yeah.

Really?

You're a handsome guy.

How hot must she be?

Hottest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Calendar hot?

Calendar.

Yeah.

I think she was in Dave's calendar.

The fireman?

Yeah.

She was watching the truck.

Just in the background.

That's very funny, the idea of, I'm dating up.

I'm, you know, we're not ready for me to marry up yet.

We don't know if we're ready for that.

Oh, God.

Now, we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the world.

If you want to send it in, send it into SBY at maximumfont.org.

And this first one comes from Steve M.

Maybe Steve Mark.

It's possible.

Whoa.

It's possible, but you can see their last name right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not.

I was with my wife in an outdoor food market when we heard a group of teen girls talk

talking walking into a gelato store.

One of the girls was saying, Yeah, Lynn Manuel Mirande, you know, the guy who wrote Hamlet.

And another girl goes, Yeah, totally.

How's the teen supposed to know who wrote Hamlet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're uh, that's probably your favorite musical.

Hamlet, yeah, yeah, I love that.

The rap and rap and dame.

You should do it.

You know what?

That gives me,

did you see Hamilton?

No, I never saw Hamilton.

I never did.

I looked.

That's got to be.

That's probably the most

popular Canadian stand-up joke of the 21st century.

Oh, yeah.

Like, hey, I saw Hamilton.

I went on the QEW.

I went in a Tiger Cats game.

Oski Wee Wee, Oski.

Why you said it is probably the funniest version of it.

I saw Hamilton.

Hamilton, Ontario, Steeltown.

The Pittsburgh of the North.

Mr.

Stephen Harper.

Winter Cops Coliseum.

She here in the Cops Coliseum.

And the chicken cannon.

Oh, you know that.

She in the cops got hit in the chicken cannon.

Oh,

probably every week.

Dear God.

This next one comes from Ashley H.

in St.

Louis, Missouri.

Ashley Hamilton?

It could be.

Yeah, it's Ashley Hamilton.

Who's that?

I was walking through the grocery store with my kids.

As we passed through the condiments aisle, my seven-year-old son says, maybe we should get mayo.

My son doesn't eat mayo, so I replied, why?

To which he said, in case the unexpected happens.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Better have some mayo on hand.

Ashley, I got news for you.

Your kid is the boy from Insidious.

He's haunted.

That's something a haunted boy would say.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's the end of the book.

When you said Ashley Hamilton, I rung a bell.

She is a person.

No, he

was married to Shannon Doherty.

Shannon Doherty from American Pie?

From 90210.

Oh.

Yeah.

Shannon Doherty's.

Oh.

She was, yeah, she was in the

early 90s.

Yeah.

She was a television.

And Ashley Hamilton is a

just like a 90s, huh?

Ooh.

Wait, can you pull him closer to me, please?

Let me get a little bit of ah, God.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

It's fine, baby.

It's fine.

Computer, computer,

computer.

Come in.

Oh, here we go.

Ashley Hamilton.

There he is.

Yo, yeah.

People also ask, who did Ashley Hamilton have a child with?

His girlfriend.

Renee Karelian.

Did you say bass guitarist flea?

Yes.

They adopted together.

This last one comes from Daniel C.

from Davis, California.

At a vegan restaurant in Sacramento, having dinner before the Baroness Show, and a song started playing in the speaker system.

Three older people

at a table nearby, oh, I know this song.

Me too.

It's a good one.

Yeah, it's the Jonas Brothers.

I like them.

Really?

Me too.

This is their best song.

The song was Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.

They're brothers.

Yeah, exactly.

The Brothers Jonas, the BJs.

They probably did throw that around.

They probably had to float that one.

See, this is what I'm talking about.

Joe Jonas, I worked at a health food store and Joe Jonas came in one time.

Yeah.

In Toronto.

And he was amazed.

He was like a young boy because it was like back in the heyday.

And he was like, whoa, this place is like all organic food.

That's pretty wicked.

It's like he had never seen that before.

Did you know?

They don't have anything like that in L.A.?

No, I looked at him and I was like, I think that's a Jonas brother.

Like that guy looks famous.

He was wearing really nice clothes and he was with a woman.

And I was like, I'm not sure, but I think that's a Jonas brother.

And then he walked by the little cafe and a woman like jaw dropped, like looked at him like, oh my God, I can't believe.

And I'm like, like, yeah, that's Joe Jonas for sure.

I have a friend that has a similar thing.

He was smoking outside of a bar, and a limo pulled up, and the window went down and asked if he had a cigarette.

And he gave it to her.

And then she drove away, and the person was like, Do you know who that was?

And he was like, She's like, that was Lady Gaga.

Whoa.

Yeah.

And I don't think that he was bothered by it.

I think he was like,

who's Lady Gaga?

Who's Lady Gaga?

Yeah.

It was like a limousine at a bus.

Bus station.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls and voice memos.

If you want to call us or voice memo us, call us at 1-844-779-7631.

That's one UGH SpyPod1 like these people have.

This is my favorite part of the show.

Or send in voice memos to spy at maximumfun.org like these people have.

Hi, Dave and Graham and beautiful founded guests.

This is Matthew from Chicago, calling in with an Overheard.

Last night I was at a bar and the Dukes of Hazard movie was on TV and the girl next to me said, is that Stiffler's mom's son?

Bubby replied.

That's a great way to refer to him as Stiffler's mom's son.

Woo!

That is good.

That's really good.

I don't know if you guys have kept up with the American Pie saga.

No.

But in the latest film, American Reunion, Eugene Levy and Stiffler's Mom gets no way.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

That's

comedy gold.

It is.

It's great.

When you say the latest, how recent?

Probably six or seven years ago.

And I know

these movies are pretty raunchy.

Do you see everything?

See everything.

Yeah.

You see Eugene.

And let me tell you, those eyebrows, same as down there.

The black as can be.

He's trying to get changed stealthily at a park, but you see everything.

You see absolutely absolutely everything.

We mentioned, we talked about the scene where they lose their virginity a couple of weeks ago.

And I said it was at Stiffler's mom's house.

You said it was on a lake.

It was Stiffler's mom's lake house.

Oh, okay.

We remembered.

It wasn't the original Stiffler's mom's house.

That's right.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, because they replaced Stiffler's mom after the first season.

Yep.

Like French

prince.

With Ted McGinley.

Okay.

Here's your next one.

Oh, another one.

Get a treat.

Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests.

This is Jay calling in with an overheard from the Atlantic Ocean.

I was teaching my son to boogie board, and there was a group of teenage girls nearby us in the water.

A big wave comes, crashes down, knocks everybody down, and I hear a girl say, Oh man, I almost nip-slipped in front of my dad.

And the other girls laugh.

Then that same girl starts talking about how her breasts are too big i couldn't tell you one way or the other and about how she is going to get breast reduction surgery uh sometime before school starts in the fall and she says she pauses and she goes hey guys can we have a funeral for my tits and they all cheered

Man, oh man, nip slipping in front of your dad would be the end of it.

You think your dad hasn't seen your nips?

No, I wear pasties.

Just in case.

I brought your nips into this world.

I'll take them out.

All right, so this is the final one.

You know how we have Sleep Country Canada?

Yep.

Well, there's also Sleep Country USA.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

The same brand, the same company?

I don't know, but it's...

Growing up here, there were ads for it in Washington State on the TV we got here.

Yeah.

So before I ever heard of Sleep Cantry Canada, Sleep Cantry Canada,

I heard of Sleep Country USA.

And I'll be boycotting it.

Elbows up.

Do you guys know what affiliate you would see in New Brunswick and PEI?

Oh, what?

Like Boston?

Yeah, Boston.

Boston.

Yeah.

You get all the Boston news.

Boston channels.

We got Buffalo, Rockport.

Yeah, we got Seattle.

We got Corde.

Court d'Alene.

Yeah.

In Calgary.

Spokane and Corde.

Court d'Alene.

Beautiful.

Idaho?

Montana.

Montana.

Montana.

Okay.

Final phone call.

Hello.

This is Mo from Seattle, and I was listening to an old episode where you guys mentioned Sleep Country Canada.

And it reminded me of an overseen, a vintage overseen from my childhood.

So in Seattle, our Sleep Country USA commercials had Sonny Kobe Cook instead of Christine McGee.

So you can just imagine this with Christine McGee if you're Canadian.

So in 1994, my family went to Winterfest, which is basically just a Christmas convention in Seattle.

And there was a booth set up there for Sleep Country USA for whatever reason.

And they had a life-size cardboard cutout of Sonny Kobe Cook, our Christine McGee.

And my brother had been carrying around this rolled-up

pamphlet from some booth at this convention, and he slapped the cutout of Sonny Kobe Cook with it right in the face.

And

out of nowhere, Sonny Kobe Cook herself appeared because she was manning the booth.

She grabbed the little pamphlet out of my brother's hand, my eight-year-old brother's hand, and smacked him in the face

while she laughed.

No friggin'

take this.

How do you like to take your own medicine, kid?

That's really good.

Everything about that is fantastic.

I didn't know who Sunday Kobe Cook is.

No,

that's why I pulled up a picture because not famous here.

Yeah.

Whenever I see someone slap a little kid with a pamphlet in the face, I'm going to go, Kobe.

Well, that brings us to the end of this here program.

Adam, you have a brand new album.

That's right.

And it is called Dragonflies.

And people can get it everywhere.

And this is your sex.

Second sophomore.

You win the Juno for your first?

Nominated.

Nominated.

Did you win?

Nope.

Nominated.

My year, it was

Kyle Brownry.

Oh, okay.

Yes, yes.

Mine was the wonderful Sophie Buttle.

Oh, yes.

And if I get nominated this year, I will be beaten by the wonderful Brett Butt.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

do you have any other things?

Where can people find you?

You can find me on Instagram, AdamChristy Comedian.

I post little skits.

I post little jokes.

You're going to love it on there.

If you haven't heard Adam's stand-up, it's first class.

Yeah.

First class.

I really like the things you post.

You did a great video with Chris Wilson where you haven't read any books.

Me and Chris Wilson post a lot of skits, so get on there.

You did a great bit about your girlfriend thinks everything's better than sex.

Yep.

It was a stand-up clip.

That's a stand-up clip.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, we got it.

We got it.

We got it all going on.

Well, thank you for being our guest.

An honor.

I love you, and I love your listeners, and I love everything about this.

We love you.

Yeah, I love you.

And

everybody out there?

We love you.

You just heard us say it, so don't make me repeat it.

Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Oh!

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