C03 - Ep. 18 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Pvt. Conversation with The Privateer

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Previously our adventurers cruised through the Cove of Lost Holes in search of Pancak and their imposter.

After Nola finds some gnolls and absconding with a sandwich bell, they bluff their way to a beached boat's brig.

Now Nati has nestled her way into overhearing a fiery face-to-face with Inferno.

Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this gassy cause.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Tales of the Sinky Dragon.

I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorola.

I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.

Okay.

Yeah, that's fine.

There's a lot more gruff in your voice that time.

Me?

Yeah.

I'm going to hit those voices.

A little spoiler, a little behind-the-scenes peek.

I did some pickup audio right before this in a voice I haven't done in a long time, which may be affecting

my intro here.

This week's arrow question is: what would be your character's coffee order?

And that is submitted by Queen Chartreuse.

Oh, I think a Queen.

Yeah.

Let's everyone roll some initiative.

I already rolled a one.

So I'll talk to you guys in like five minutes.

All right.

16.

18.

16.

Oh, you're tight 12.

I know.

Who's at higher dexterity?

16.

17.

I'm doing the loser sign for John.

Great energy today, John.

Barbara Blaine, John.

So, yeah.

We got Doug, Toll, Maddie, and then Gunther.

Well, hello, Stinky Dragon fam.

What's up on this good, whatever day you're listening to this podcast?

Not much.

It could be Mondays if you support us at stinkydragonpod.com.

It could.

You get it 48 hours early and with no ads.

Wow.

Crazy.

But hello, I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone, the male bugbear artificer, who is currently a level five.

And this may surprise you, but Doug is a big fan of coffee.

Very big fan of coffee.

How would that surprise us?

I don't know.

I just want to be myself.

That was a legitimate question.

You said this may surprise you.

I was just curious the reason behind that.

Well, it's because, because, you know, you don't ever, like, Doug seems to be a pretty even-keeled guy.

And so he's, you know, never seems to be too jacked up on caffeine or anything like that or too low energy.

So it just may surprise you.

I just want to be mysterious.

He does have to poop a lot, though.

I have noticed that.

That would happen regardless, let's be honest.

But something I did actually, I created my own espresso machine

back at my home.

And so I'd make cappuccinos, I'd make lattes, I'd make different espresso drinks.

But I think my favorite one, you know, I just like a nice big Americano.

Nice hot Americano, just black.

No cream or sugar, just nice.

But sometimes if Doug wants to tweet himself, he'll have one of those like big old like cookie flappuccino, you know, cream.

I think it's called the demos.

You get everything in it.

Only on your birthday.

We need to post a picture of of that drink at some point in our Patreon.

I forgot about that.

That monster for context.

On your birthday,

you get a free drink from Starbucks.

And by free, you could put anything you want in it.

So if you put everything in it and you do the biggest drink ever, then you get the Damaris.

I would say we shouldn't be advertising for them, but we're actively telling you to go take advantage of them.

So I don't feel bad about it.

This also was a few years ago.

I think you got it right back.

Maybe two years ago.

Well, I get it every year.

Oh, you do?

It's a tradition.

Yeah.

The DeMaris.

Wasn't that an episode in like the office was like Waffle Day?

Pretzel.

Pretzel Day.

And Michael got everything.

Yeah.

I feel like maybe we could delve a little more into Chris's birthday drink tradition on Second Wind, which people can get access to once again if they support us at sneakydrungpod.com.

Oh, yeah.

Delicious drink.

So bad.

It's not.

It's not.

I don't know if I'm on the next Second Wind, but I think I took a photo of it or maybe a video one year.

But anyway, we can talk about it later.

But that's it for me.

Thanks, Doug.

Thank you.

Thanks for the question, Queen.

Gus or Sartreuse.

Chartreuse, always.

Bony, bonyo.

We have Tov up next, I believe, right?

Yeah, that's me.

You who?

It's me.

Tov played by plane.

And

as far as coffee, I only became a coffee drinker very recently.

It's very good for

regulating my body temperature, making sure I don't overheat.

And, you know, in a way, to make me feel nostalgic, what I like to do is have a cold brew.

But with my coffee,

I, you know, because we're out on the oceans, we might be out up like in the colder sea regions with icebergs and things.

But I like having my coffee in the shape of like a popsicle, just a frozen block of coffee.

Yeah.

Interesting.

It's good.

That's it.

That's my answer.

Yeah.

That sounds really good, actually.

Yeah, it does.

So for you, coffee is a cold drink.

Because I think I feel like most people wouldn't say they drink coffee to regulate their temperature to keep them cool.

Most people would say like they drink coffee to warm themselves up.

So for you, Tov, it's exclusively cold coffee.

No warm coffee ever.

Oh, no warm coffee.

No, I like the cold.

Yeah.

Isn't it true, though, that like if you're hot and you have a warm drink, it actually actually regulates your temperature to be cooler?

Because it's like...

Is that true?

It's some, there's something about like, if it's really hot outside and you drink a hot beverage, it's supposed to cool you down.

I don't know the science.

Maybe Tolv is built different.

Yeah, I'm going to be honest.

I'm not going to try that this summer in Austin.

I will not drink a hot beverage on a 105-degree day to test out.

Part of it is 100% true.

It just goes against human nature.

Cause like when I'm, it's December and I'm ordering a cold brew.

I'll, it's like, it feels wrong, you know you want to do the opposite of the weather but do some research let me get Doug in here to actually explain it she says you know in in hot dry weather drinking a hot beverage could actually help cool down by twiggling your body's natural cooling response sweating and allowing the sweat to evapuate which absorbs heat and lowers the body temperature so you make yourself more hot to sweat to then cool down something like something like that that's a lot of steps in addition to having to need to poop already you know I just put a bunch of ice in my tummy and be done.

Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle.

Thanks, Toll, y'all.

Moving on next, I believe we are at Natty.

Howdy, everybody.

I'm John Rice here, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock mother, single mother, wife.

Making her way in the world.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah, I love a good cup of coffee and I'm normally not very picky.

I kind of just, you know,

if someone's going to fix me a cup, it's like whatever they got around, I'll take it.

But as a mama who's often just trying to quickly make sure that I get my nutritional needs met while also taking care of a...

quite rambunctious little angel.

I love just a good old shot of espresso.

I love that because then you just, you can just down it, you get all the effects.

It's kind of tasty.

And if you want to go a little special, if I'm, you know, every, every mama needs moments to treat themselves.

You need a little, a little treat, you know, to kind of like take the edge off from the day.

I love me and Africata, you know, I love just a little bit, a little bit of ice cream in there.

Ooh, that's just, that's just like, you know, sinful, but the good kind.

It's like a coffee float.

Yeah.

Oh.

And what does Giggy like?

Does he get coffee or is he more of a cake pop kind of guy?

Giggy mostly he subsides on a very strict, you know, diet and controlled nutritional intake of energy drinks.

That's all he drinks.

Just pounds those back, probably an average of a couple dozen a day.

That seems to keep him happy.

He does not need those.

He's a growing boy.

I like the idea of like Natty going to like a Starbucks and Giggy getting a cup cup and just like sticking his whole head into it and like, just like the cream being everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

Kind of like what Tov said.

Sometimes I'll just toss Giggy some frozen cubes of coffee just to kind of tie him over till he can get to his next monster.

You are what you drink.

What's the HP on that monster?

That's a good one.

Thank you, Natty.

Once again, the paragon of parenting over here.

Really appreciate the insight.

Hello.

Gunther, you're next.

Yes.

I'm Chris Damaris, and I play the male Croak folk fighter.

And for me,

the coffee is something very special, you see, because what we do in my village,

there are sometimes small puddles

near the oasis where the water will puddle up in a neat, nice little spring.

And then what you will do is you'll take the coffee beans and you will grind them into little pieces.

And then you eat.

And

let it absorb

your skin oh like a coffee bath yes

do you also absorb the osmosis i no can't say i do no no

if i might say that's a big word for gunther it is how we say it

so is this just a gunther specific no uh or just the whole village well it is a sec it is a special time so not very common that sounds like prison coffee.

But is that coffee?

Prisoners, they do not receive coffee.

That's why.

That's why that sounds like prison coffee.

It is so relaxed.

You leave and then you go jump so high.

Is this also how Bunlap would do it?

Or did Bunlap have any special?

Oh, we would sometimes sit.

and become so rambunctious.

I was just re-listening to that episode where he talks about Bunlap.

So you're bringing it it up now.

It's funny.

Oh, Bunlap.

Bunlap's like my favorite person we've never met.

Hopefully, one day we can meet Bunlap.

I want to see what this is all about.

This legend, this king.

I just realized his name is the amalgamation of two anatomical parts.

Buns and lap.

I do not have buns.

I can't wait to meet Cheek Goin.

No way.

You stealthily

sneak in.

And luckily what kind of works to your advantage is the sound of the water kind of over like it's louder than your footsteps.

So you're able to kind of sneakily, stealthily crouch up, you know, crawl up and see, peek into the cavern.

And inside, you see a small smoky cavern that appears to be very brightly lit.

There's a rushing waterfall made of fire, or I guess a firefall.

And in the cavern, there's a one-foot high fire on the floor.

And there's a raised circular platform in the middle of all this made of red gemstone marked with blazing runes.

On the platform, you see someone kneeling talking with someone who appears to be inside the firefall itself.

Okay, and they're the only person in the room?

Well, the person kneeling on the platform and then the other person in the firefall.

Yeah, but the other person in the room is that person who's kneeling.

Yes.

Okay, do I see enough of them turn into them?

Yes, but uh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Gus kept it simple.

Thank you for your enthusiastic reply.

Yeah.

Yeah, so now he turns into the privateer.

Or into that person.

And hopes it's the privateer.

Let's go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you get a pretty good look at this person who's kneeling on the platform.

And then as you look around, you realize you recognize the creature inside the firefall.

Who's in Demon Skype conversation?

The demon Skype conversation is with none other than Infernos.

No!

What has Niorda told you?

Ah, yes.

The so-called sea drinker resisted our initial methods for some time.

She may be gentle in demeanor, but her resolve is to be commended.

Once we threatened the well-being of Fire Eater,

she- Do not waste my time.

What did she tell you?

Of course, my overlord.

She told us she knows not where the Pathfinder resides.

But there is one who may yet.

Speaking of, no one has discovered where we are keeping the Sea Drinker.

So that secret remains safe.

And at that point, the Firefall's flames burn brighter and hotter, and steam and smoke consume the cavern.

Get to the point, Pit!

A thousand apologies.

She says the Pathfinder serves under the Veiled Eye.

That forgetful enigma!

Ah!

This is the vital information you've summoned me for!

No, of course not, my Overlord!

I simply desire to keep you apprised of our faithful progress in opening the gates of ENOF!

With a push in Furnace's abyssal black blade pierces the firefall, reaching the privateer's thick throat.

Dry up the sea drinker for all she's worth, and then discard her.

The next time I hear from you, you better have the Pathfinder in shackles.

Yes, my overlord.

Gahira shall soon tremble at your sight.

And may I say, you're looking particularly.

And with that, the blade retreats into the firefalls, which snuffs out like a candle.

The room is left in near blackness, but the quiet is abruptly replaced by the rushing of water that fills the falls and washes the floor.

Well done, privateer.

Your attention to detail and persuasive prowess are to be commended.

Well, kind of you to notice, Infernos.

I humbly agree.

Yar.

It's good.

Is this the first time we've heard Infernus talk?

The real one.

Yeah, you previously encountered Infernus and the Seesaw during your training.

Yeah.

When you were first in the Mortalian.

I just don't remember if we heard them speak or not, but I...

Okay.

Also, it's interesting to note for combat reasons that they seem like these holograms have physical powers.

Because she just threatened the privateer with a fireblade.

And then disappeared.

Yeah.

Spooky.

Just

a quick clarification.

This is a different voice than what you heard in the seesaw.

Okay.

Oh, interesting.

Do we get a bigger score?

Did we get a bigger voice actor?

Yeah, you're never going to believe it.

Man, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Gustavus Arola.

Hey, Ben, get on that.

Get Arnold's people on the phone.

I'm pretty sure Infernes is a she, her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Schwarzenegger has ranged, John.

All right.

Aren't you he, him?

Yeah, it's true.

So the privateer has turned to exit the room and is walking straight at you, Natty.

Yeah, that means I should probably do something, right?

Yep.

Man.

Wish I had an idea.

I wasn't expecting him coming straight at me.

Hmm.

Life comes at you fast.

You gotta be right.

It does.

Could you give me a physical description of the privateer?

Yes, I can.

And did she say his name was Pitt?

She did at one point refer to him as Pitt.

The privateer appears to be a soft-bodied humanoid fiend.

He seems to have maybe a balding head covered by a tricorn hat with a parrot on top.

And he's wearing a pea coat that is made of some kind of maybe like an otter skin.

How big is this guy?

It's a humanoid size, you know, humanoid fiend, so a medium size, but maybe, you know, a little pudgy.

I'm not sure if you mean like, is he large or is he wide or like...

Like medium?

Yeah, imposing physically is what I'm I'm prodding for.

It seems like you know he has seen his share of combat, uh, but he is a little

soft.

And he has a parrot?

Yeah, he's got a parrot on top of his hat.

Interesting.

Like a live one.

It appears to be moving, I guess.

I'm going to turn into one of the guys

that was guarding the...

Briggs.

Okay.

The one that we talked to.

Let's just say that guy.

And

I'm going to

walk in that guy's way and get his and get his attention.

Okay.

And I'm going to be frantic, okay?

Okay.

Oh.

Remind me how are you able to change your appearance like that again?

I'm special.

That's all you need to know.

Fair enough for me.

One of my eldritch invocations is Mask of Many Faces.

And I can cast disguise self at will without expending a spell slot.

And i also have a feature and trait called mimicry where i can mimic the sounds of other creatures including speech a creature that hears the mimicry must succeed on a wisdom check to determine the effect is fake so i guess if they want to check if it's faked that's there is a check for it but i don't know if it means automatically you check that sure but also i have impersonation which gives me advantage on charisma checks while i'm doing this nice yeah and disguise self so you make yourself including your clothing armor weapons look different until the spell ends.

You seem one foot shorter or taller and can appear thin, fat, or in between.

Can't change your body type, so same basic arrangement of limbs, blah, blah, blah.

The changes wrought by the spell fail to hold up to physical inspection.

For example, if you use the spell to add a hat to your outfit, objects pass through the hat.

So it just looks like it, but no physical aspect to it.

Correct.

Correct.

Upon physical inspection, it'd be like

a Star Trek holodeck thing.

Illusion.

Yeah.

Okay.

I just wanted to lay all the ground rules before we start playing.

Okay.

I'm going going to talk as natty because I don't know how that person, the whoever voice actor is doing the null sounds like.

Okay, so I apologize.

But I'm going to come out.

Sir, sir,

I'm glad I caught you.

You're going to want to stay in here for just a tick, okay?

Because we got a situation out there that I don't think you want to be a part of.

All of the prisoners, they rally together and they've decided to create...

Well, the easiest way to say it is some sort of fecal fight where they're just throwing poo everywhere.

Oh my God.

It is everywhere.

It is all of the

guys who are the other guys who are.

In fact, Gus, I'm going to say that my visage, I've got poo all over me.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Good call.

Good call.

And go ahead and Blaine and Chrissy, if you want to mark this to be animated later, that would probably be good.

Sure.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

It's just, I didn't even know they must have been saving it up because they had so much to give.

Okay.

and then the other guys they they upon you know seeing of this this this array of of you know matter they're vomiting as well so there's vomit and poop everywhere the smell is unique i can say okay so i'm gonna save you from that problem and say could you stay in here for a little more and clean this up we don't want you to have to deal with this okay okay i wasn't sure where you were gonna go but i like it um just Just for fun, make me a deception check.

I would love to, and I am not surprised by that at all uh what is my deception modifier plus seven i rolled a 12 so 19.

oh that's good nice oh and i get advanced no yeah i get advantage we'll see how nice nope that was a two we're going with 19.

nice wish it was the two to begin with but okay we'll go with we'll go with this oh there's no reason

yeah

i was waiting i was waiting so much for that me and blade at the same time

yeah

the privateer first of all seems startled by you just appearing there seemingly out of nowhere to him and then second of all, he does take a step back, a little disgusted, and maybe gives you a slightly wary eye and says, Ah, disgusting.

Wash yourself off here in the water.

He points at the stream in front of that's between you all.

I'm going to finish that cleanup before I clean up myself.

I don't feel like I should have to clean up here and then go get it all over me again.

You know, get that fresh poo feeling on me.

Fresh poo feeling.

John, would it help if we made like barf noises in the distance to help your point?

If we're over here, I'm saying this loud, so if you guys want to assist,

I can't advise otherwise.

Toll just is going,

what is on this?

So gross.

I never seen anything like this in my life.

Oh.

Oh.

Well,

this is testing Gus's improvisational skills

I had an idea for how this would go and this is not in any of the directions I thought it would go

you promise us better yeah well in that case let me make a check on my own on my

five

It's working

This is pod racing

racing

well be quick about it.

I have much to do.

Very important work to be done.

How long will it take you to clean?

Yar!

Well, first, I mean, I gotta get the fight to stop.

They're still producing.

Again, I don't know how.

We might want to look into what we're putting into rations for the prisoners in the future.

Okay?

But yes, I will get this done toot, sweet, and give you a holler.

Why don't you just kick back a little bit while we take care of the dirty business, okay?

Well, eliminate the unnecessary prisoners if need be.

That will put the others in line.

Yeah, make an example, summon, sir.

Yes, sir.

The privateer, I guess, would turn around and sit down on the circular raised platform there.

Make me a perception check, Naddy.

Can do.

That was only five.

Plus, perception is plus three, so eight.

Okay, yeah, you can't see too much because it's uh, you know, it's pretty dark in that room, but you hear, uh, like some muttering under his breath.

Nobody appreciates what I do.

Okay, I will exit the room.

Okay.

Just to rejoin your party.

Yeah, because where they are is not visible by the brig people.

What are the

guards?

Yeah, they got brig people.

I come up and I just start.

I go on, hey, good job, everybody.

Good job.

High fives all around.

Good jobs.

As Natty approaches, Toll just gives one big silent handshake.

Well done.

My goodness.

Your best work yet.

So, like, is there actually poop anywhere that we should be?

No,

I

so convinced?

No, Giggy's got that covered.

Natty turns into the privateer and goes, Okay,

shall we try phase two of this well thought out plan?

You tell us.

Yeah.

Time for number two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Initiate number two, yeah.

Phase two of plan two.

Okay.

This is John asking again.

I know it was Gunther had a conversation with the guard, and I think the result of that conversation was like, we need to get approval by the privateer to take the prisoners for more torturing?

To torture the prisoners here, I believe is how we have framed it.

You all were here to torture the prisoners.

Okay.

Like, we were the hired contractors to torture.

Correct.

They outsource torturing to subcontractors, yeah.

This is the group that they would hire.

Okay.

Naturally.

Then the group needs to come with me.

This is the Halliburton of this world.

Yeah.

I think Doug would try to look really intimidating.

so he, you know, kind of, I would think, goes into more of his bugbear personality.

So he kind of like hunches and the bear, the bear part of bugbear, he's like doing like the stalking kind of motion, whereas usually he he walks pretty upright.

This is good, this is good.

I like, yeah, you can't see it, but Barbara's kind of pantomiming it.

And I'm a little scared.

I'm gonna turn off your camera, Barbara.

I don't want to see you right now.

I'm a little frightened.

I'm intimidating.

Okay, let's go talk to that guard again.

Okay.

Lead the way.

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Not available in all states.

Yeah, you all walk back down.

I'm going to re-describe this room for you just so you know what you're dealing with.

So this room is a sandy grotto with vaulted ceilings and there's a beached ship that fills the cave and it's lit by hanging lanterns.

There's a gang plank onto the ship and barred brigs on either side of the gang plank, which are below deck.

And there are four knoll guards here.

Two here guarding the brigs, and then two up on top of the gang plank, like on the main deck of the ship.

And then there's stepping stones to the east that lead to the stream, and that's where you're coming back down.

Okay, I walk up.

Okay, you said you're walking up to one of the knolls outside of the brig door, right?

Yeah.

Guther follows with arms crossed, like see.

okay.

Yeah, you walk up to one of those.

Yeah.

Natty walks up and walks up to that guard and just puts arms together and just stares at the guard.

Okay.

The guard just kind of looks straight at you, seemingly like with like a blank expression.

I'm waiting.

Attention!

Snaps fingers.

Yeah.

The Noel looks a little confused and says, Yes, you have more attention.

I'm the captain, aren't I?

Are you asking?

Yes.

No, this is John asking.

Yeah, well, I mean,

the privateer is who they said was their boss.

Right.

Okay.

I guess these guys don't don't follow, I don't know, military decorum.

They just seem just dull, I think.

I think you have to spell it out.

Your mortalion is showing.

Okay.

Sure.

So, do you care to explain to me why you made my contractors come and bug me while I was having an important conversation?

Nice.

Make an intimidation check for me.

Intimidation charisma-based.

It is.

I get advanced.

That first one was an 11, plus 4 is 15.

Ooh, that was a sweet old Nat 20.

This guy's pooping his pants for real.

So 24, if you want the full.

I finally had a good roll.

I rolled an 18 and it was

insufficient.

Well, your orders were nobody to see the prisoner without your authorization.

So I follow my orders.

Right.

Which I gave these gentlemen my authorization.

So, again, I ask, why are you bugging me when I got other stuff to do than worry about your shenanigans?

Because the authorization was not given to me.

Are you arguing with me?

I'm explaining.

I feel I feel a little insubordination creeping up in here.

You might want to watch yourself.

Again, I rolled a nat 20.

Yeah, the

Noel kind of grumbles and says, Okay, so these all start to throw out anyway.

Yes.

Time to torture.

Doug growls.

Torture.

Does Twelve do anything?

Oh, he pops his knuckles.

Pop pop pop.

I like how you're a barbarian who is like actually really violent, but you're like,

my knuckles.

Okay.

Very well

Gunther moves forward towards the brigadier.

Towards the what?

Towards the brigadier.

Nope.

What is the word?

Briggs the brig?

The brig.

The brig.

The brig.

What's a brigadier?

Brigadier is someone who guards a brigadier, a brig, right?

What's a brigadier?

It's like a title.

Like a general, isn't it?

It's like a brigadier general.

Isn't that like a...

It's like a military unit.

Right, right.

All right.

Let's not get into, you know, semantics, John.

Brigadiers is also a Russian Indian restaurant in London.

Our audio podcast, where all we do is talk and use words, let's not mince over those, okay?

Yes.

They don't mean anything.

So a brigadier is a rank of officer in the British Army, and I do.

These knolls do not strike me as Brits.

Or

Army.

Thank you, Micah, for telling me that.

I don't want to appear like I knew that.

Okay, so the Knoll pulls out some keys and unlocks the door and steps aside.

You know what?

I want you to go to your quarters.

I'm going to talk to you in a little bit, okay?

Oh,

Natty's killing it.

We're going to have a talk.

I don't appreciate your attitude, and we need to have a discussion in private.

Get him.

The knoll looks a little confused.

My quarters?

Wherever you shack up.

I don't care.

I don't even pay attention to what you guys do at night.

Just go somewhere.

I don't have to see you.

Okay.

He walks off, leaving the grotto out to the southwest.

Okay.

Hopefully, the real pit is this mean to them.

What if he's like actually really nice to them?

Yeah, he's acting really weird.

Well, I know myself that if I had just gotten that kind of a conversation with my boss, usually you pass that down because you're not processing it like a healthy person.

And you pay that, you pay that back to those who are your insubordinates or your subordinates.

Yeah, Gus used to have these talks with me all the time.

We're getting insight into John as a manager.

We're getting insight into John if he didn't have any healthy

therapeutic skills or coping mechanisms.

Yeah.

I take medication and I talk to a therapist, okay?

You work it out.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, that knoll leads to the southwest, and the two knolls up on the top on the main deck of the ship seem to be stifling laughter.

Can we step into the brig so I can once again give a handshake to Natty?

That goes so much.

Go right now.

Okay, right now.

I'm sorry, it's Kiojit.

So so good.

Okay.

I'm going to take a little break, rest on my laurels, and let Gunther do whatever he planned on doing.

Time to torture.

He's crazy.

We aren't fear torturers.

We are not here to actually torture.

This is called role play, okay, Gunther.

Sometimes I get so into the imagination that I forget.

I love the enthusiasm.

Yeah.

We were outside.

We saw the where pancake was, right?

Pancake.

Pancake.

Pancake.

It's the, yeah.

Whoever was in the right brig was described as Pancak's look.

Like pink hair or something.

Well, and based on the conversation with

Inferno, they have Njorda, who's, I guess, my deity, which is the sea drinker.

So I guess they're here as well.

It sounds like it.

Somewhere, yeah.

They seem to be sounding like they are

captured.

They definitely have her captured, yeah.

Okay.

I want to beat my deity.

Yeah, so you walk in to this room, and uh, what are we gonna do, Gunther?

Go to where Pancak was.

It's because we saw Pancak while walking past.

So go there first.

Okay, so you went in here to the eastern cell.

And in this cell, you see a handsome half-knoll wearing a corduroy vest who looks up at you.

Wait, what?

Is he a prisoner?

Well,

this person's in the brig.

Am I wrong that you had previously described the person in this brig as being looking like Pancak?

Oh, shapeshifter.

I believe when we said that,

I said that person was in the west cell.

Oh, okay.

I took bad notes then.

Then that was was the whole reason that I wanted to approach the guy.

I see.

I thought you were just coming to the one that was closest to where you were.

No, I was trying to approach the one that was guarding Pancake.

Okay.

Well, we're in here now, so uh, why don't we just do what's up with this guy?

Sure, and the guard unlocked the door.

Yeah.

Okay.

Uh, does this guy look familiar?

Uh, no, but this person looks up at you with kind of a smile on their face and says, Oh, visitors!

I've never allowed those in here.

I nudge Gunther and I'm like, sir, retrieve the prisoner.

Yes, uh,

yes, yes.

And then Gunther goes and

grabs them and then maybe takes a rope and pretends at least sort of binds them as they walk.

Oh, there's no need for that, friend.

I'll come along willingly.

Okay, I'm new here for torture.

Why are you here?

Well, if you're with him.

They nod over to the privateer.

You should be all over that.

It is not my job to for your

to be disrespectful.

I'm not sure what language you're speaking, friend.

But when you come back around to common, let me know.

I smack Gunther and I go, no fraternizing with the prisoners.

And I walk over to the other guard and say, we gonna have a problem?

Like your other chap?

That Noel just shakes his head.

No.

Okay, open up the door.

Since you're dealing with a new person, just make me a deception check here, even though you're good at him.

Uh-oh.

13 plus 7.

20, 30, 20, or 12.

Nice.

Rolls an 18 again, but 20 beats it.

Yes, you're doing it.

Yeah, the noel unlocks the door and steps aside.

All right.

I do the little, like,

when you, like, bite your lip, it can make that whistle sound that John can't actually do.

And it sounds just like.

You can't do it.

I think any attempt at whistling would just be lost on these microphones.

And

I motion the biggins over.

Is that us?

Yeah.

That's two big boys.

That's two big boys.

Oh, I will deal with you later.

Who'd you say that to?

The guy in here.

Oh, Gunther's got that one.

I'm taking him.

Yeah, Gunther's got that one.

We'll deal with you now.

Simultaneously.

Get over here.

Walk over.

Okay,

okay, then what do you guys do with the prisoner?

Or who's in this cell?

Yeah, who is this?

Because I know that the handsome Noel is in here, but who's this other guy?

Oh, I see.

So everyone goes into the cell here and takes takes a look.

And yeah, inside here.

Should we not all be in here in case they trap us?

They could spring a trap on us.

Well, I don't think Gunther needs to walk in here.

Yeah, I'm waiting in the hallway with the handsome Noel.

No hallway.

Okay.

I'm waiting.

You stand there

at the end of the gangplank.

Yes.

There you go.

Even if we get trapped, we'll figure it out.

Okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, you walk into this room and you see a halfling with magenta hair missing half of their left leg wearing a wooden necklace.

Okay.

This is fake Pancak.

Okay.

May I?

Is it?

Why would it be fake?

Is it not?

Well, okay.

All right.

Real quick meta-talk.

We know that Pancak is missing, but we also know that at some point they were shapeshifted.

So we don't know if this is the shapeshifter or if this is the real one.

If this is the real one, it makes sense because then someone's been going in and out of the cave as Pancak, and they just needed to have the fake one locked up, right?

I forgot that they were shapeshifting, but that's the whole reason you're here.

So they're acting weird.

They followed them and ended up in the cursed catacombs and they removed their face and heard voices.

That's what a fizz mom's recollection of it.

Yeah.

Is because their partner is Pancak.

Presumably, this is the real Pancak, not the shape-shifting one, because the shapeshifting one was pretending to be them.

I think what we have to do is ask them something only Pancak would know.

You mean the person we've never met?

Yeah.

I got you.

Okay.

Go, Doug.

Hello, Dale, Pushno.

Oh, hello.

You look very big and scary.

What's your name?

I'm Pancak.

What's your name?

Hmm.

Hey, guys.

It's Pancakes.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Follow-up question.

I just laughed so hard, I farted.

I wasn't.

The comedic timing on that was perfect.

I mean, I was like, like,

let's get on.

Follow-up question, because you got that one right.

Excellent job.

KKX says what?

What?

So, uh, you, uh, you see anybody?

This is not, this is not me coming on to you or anything like that.

I promise.

It's just a just a question.

Yes.

And who are you?

Why are you here?

We'll get to that in a moment, but what is uh what's your partner's name?

I'll never talk.

Why would I say anything to you?

Ah, this one's being difficult.

We're gonna take this one to our private space.

I just think that you should give us the answers to the questions we are asking, because then we'll be extra nice to you.

And what is being extra nice, huh?

Not locking my door and forcing me to be a prisoner here?

Yes.

Pancake just has a puzzled look on their face.

I think that you should just let me go and return me back to Endridge Bay.

And back to who as well.

I think we should restrain the prisoner and have this discussion in a private space could I do something real quick go for it yeah go for it with my new feet I'm telepathic

could I

could I cast detect thoughts oh

good spell I'm gonna look that up you could do that Barbara I thought you were doing such a good job of figuring everything out through discussion yeah why do you need this it's also a second level spell that I have oh it would help if I'm not looking at Gunther's character sheet that's why I couldn't find it I do not have that spell.

Nope, indeed.

There's something, I don't know why, but Doug and Gunther feel like it's like the same flavor of name.

I keep mixing up the, yeah.

It's the same thing as Gum Gum and Mud had the same kind of thing going.

See, I have that with Toll and Doug in my head, but maybe that's because I'm Gunther.

Single syllable.

So you can read the thoughts of certain creatures.

You can focus your mind on any creature you see within 30 feet.

You can initially learn the surface thoughts of the creature, what is most on its mind at the moment.

As an action, you can shift it to another creature.

If you probe deeper, the target makes a wisdom saving throw.

Okay, so you were asking about their partner, so I'm gonna say those are the thoughts at the surface of this creature's head.

Yeah, through your telepathy, the thoughts you're getting are.

I'll die before I tell them about this mom.

A little tear shed goes down Doug's face.

Oh, guys.

Is this the real pancake?

Okay, I think we should do what Natty said and take them elsewhere under the guise of torture.

Yes, we shall take them.

You're outside.

How about now that we know it's the real pancakes we let them in on the way we're trying to help them?

Toll looks to see if the other knoll is being distracted by Gunther.

Yes.

What's Gunther doing?

Gunther is pulling out different weapons.

That's showing him.

What weapons are you showing?

Well, he had that flail he picked up.

So he's kind of like doing some like jump ropes with it.

Jump ropes, dude.

Like showing, you know, like to kind of show off how good he is with the flail.

You're intimidating Booger there.

Tol gives thumbs up.

Keep it going.

Keep going.

And then also taking his sword and wrapping the flail around it and then going,

and also kind of looking up at the other gnolls, be like, see how good I am.

I like that you're adding a weapon to a weapon to like make something new.

So it looks like Gunther has them distracted.

Do you have any sort of invisibility or anything we could get them out of here with?

Let's just escort them.

Like I just procured the opportunity to do so.

Before you get to that, the half-knoll that Gunther is with has something to say about all of Gunther's fancy

fancy flailings.

Oh, I'm not so much into weapons, but I'm no stranger to backstabbing.

Oh,

and who have you backstabbed?

And why do you think it's me doing the backstabbing?

Why do you think I'm in here?

Because you have stabbed in the back.

Oh,

you're a smart one.

I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

Why should I not torture you?

Because that would be mean, wouldn't it?

You don't seem like a mean guy.

I

am very mean.

Come, look at this.

And I show my jump ropes.

The meanest jump roping you've ever seen.

Yeah, wow.

Aggressively jumping rope.

Make me an intimidation check for your aggressive jump roping, Gunther.

This is where the band falls apart.

It's a three.

Yeah,

I picture it's like just, I mean, no one's going to do anything.

All your checks have been fine.

It's just, I wanted to paint the mental picture of what this looked like.

And I picture it's like Gunther's trying to jump rope and he drops the flail and like very quickly picks it up and like tries to act like it's all part of the bit and incorporates it in there.

It's all intense eye contact while he does it.

You know, even when he falls, he's still maintaining eye contact.

Yeah, a little bit of sand gets in his eye and it's like real water and he's trying to blink it out.

Well, because I've also had Doug's hair all over my face.

Oh, right.

Oh, I forgot about that detail.

Okay, yeah, sorry.

I wanted to build a little bit of a little bit of flavor outside.

So I think at this point, Doug would go over to Pancak and be like, okay, don't give anything away, but we're here to help you.

And we're here to save you.

But we gotta pretend like we're taking you away and we're evil.

So you gotta play into it, okay?

But we're gonna get you out.

Pancak looks confused and says, well, I guess I've got nothing to lose.

Let's either follow you or stay in here.

Exactly.

If it makes you feel more comfortable, Fismum sent us, okay?

Oh, how is Fismum?

We'll talk about it later.

We have to get you out right now.

Yes, but they care very much about you and want you to get out to safety.

Of course, right away.

Okay.

Nanny walks out of the cell and goes over to the guard that opened up the door and said, You, you got good instincts.

I appreciate your aptitude.

You keep this up.

There's a promotion in the future for you, okay?

The knoll just kind of smiles and stands up straight.

Yeah, yeah.

You wear that with honor.

All right.

Let's uh Let's let's head out with these prisoners.

We'll bring them back in a lick.

But in the meantime, you guys.

The knoll raises his hand for you, privateer.

The guard?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah?

What you want?

What's a promotion?

Okay.

We'll talk about this later, okay?

We'll talk.

It's, I, I'll, I'll give you a hint.

It's a good thing.

He smiled and begins nodding.

It's a good thing.

Are you?

Come with us, prisoner.

Oh, Pancak starts pulling at your arm, Doug.

In a listen-to-me way or in a defiant way?

Like trying to get your attention and pull you down to like their level.

I guess you're allowed to speak to me briefly.

What is it?

I need to go slow.

And because of my crutch, someone took my leg.

Didn't we pick up the crutch in the cave?

Yeah, I think Pancak at this point is just saying that they're going slow because they don't have half of their leg.

Oh, it got taken.

Who took your leg?

Just out of curiosity.

I don't know.

She's around here somewhere, and she's in for a hell of a payback.

Are there more prisoners?

Uh, these are the only two bricks you've seen so far, and these are the only two people you saw in them.

So there was a female who took their leg?

Seemingly, yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

And it seems like they have Njorda, but Njorda's probably in a different holding area.

So yeah, I would natty, I think we've got to get out of here with the handsome Nolan Pancak.

Okay.

Can I offer assistance to Pancak?

Yeah, you tell me.

Yeah, if they want to put like an arm over my shoulder or something, I can help them move.

Pancakes a halfling or a dwarf?

What was halflink?

Pancake?

Yeah.

Just throw Pancake over your shoulder.

Pancake, I don't mean this to be demeaning.

I'm going to, in the spirit of roleplay, throw you over my shoulder like you are going to get, you know, so pummeled and beaten up.

That's cool with you.

Yeah, just like kick around, like you don't want to, like, you don't want it to happen or something.

Yeah.

Normally, no, but okay, yeah, I get it.

Okay, great.

It's all good to get you out of here faster.

Okay.

Oh, come with me, you prisoner.

No, no.

Anything but this,

not the torture.

No.

Woe is me.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened in my life.

Yeah.

Gunther looks at his null prisoner like if he should do the same.

They look at you almost like they can tell what you're thinking, and they just kind of shake their head and say, I think you're a little small for that one, big guy.

Okay, you're lucky.

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Okay, so if we could exit south, that would take us to that large room with the sword and the stone.

And could we then lead the prisoners into the room with the desk?

Wait, that was a dead end, wasn't it?

Yeah, or do we want to just leave?

I think we should leave.

Okay, cool.

So, uh, you guys are gonna go to the south, and are you gonna stop off at that little room with the desk?

Are you just gonna continue and head out, retracing your steps?

I I think we need a game plan on our exit.

Who's the leader?

Who's in charge?

Uh, Doug?

You know, I've been leading for a while now.

I think, uh, I think it's time the last member of our team take the lead.

Gunther?

Oh, oh, Gunther was looking at private parts.

Because I just want to confirm Tolv and Natty have both been leaders so far, right?

Yes.

Okay.

I had the shortest reign, but I was very proud of my time in command.

Hmm.

Well, knowing that, maybe I give it to Torv.

What?

No, no, no, I don't want it.

That's why you are ahead.

So we're exiting out the thing.

It's like a skull, right?

Yeah, so just to be clear, you're gonna leave the grotto with the ship in it, kind of head to the south to the room that had like kind of the lake with the stone in the middle with the sword in it.

go past the room with the desk in it and continue all the way south to

the skull.

There was that room that opened up when you pulled the sword, right?

Correct.

That was out to the east from that room, the grate opened up.

But we're just trying to leave.

Do we see what's in that grate that opens up whenever we were walking by?

No, because it kind of like it's on the east side of the room and then it kind of, the way it opens up is kind of to the north.

It kind of turns a little to the northeast.

So you'd have to go up to it and look to see what's beyond it because otherwise there's like a rock wall kind of blocking the line of sight okay we shall hurry her out and then we go to where the skull the entrance to the skull is is there some way to block the exit i'm also wondering if we need to find pancakes leg before we go yeah i'm gonna have to retrace your steps that was also the place where we found the shield i think wait vulgaria leg i thought they had a crutch they're missing a leg some female took their leg like a prosthetic leg yes okay that makes more sense in my notes i don't know that we found their leg i know that we found the crutch and this was right around the time we made the we found the crystal shield made in vulgaria we shall try to escape first it's not the leg that we found in the wall right no we asked it's it's a different leg yeah okay they are missing their left one and i think the one we saw on the wall was a right leg

correct wow That's some detail.

We take notes.

I think you all had asked about that specifically like two episodes ago.

Yeah.

And also, according to my notes, I believe the the crutch might have been in the room or area before we found the skull place.

So it could be very soon.

So, yeah, if we want to start making our way towards that, yeah.

Can we exit where the skull is and then see if there's some way we can block the entrance of the skull so that they can't follow us?

Yeah.

Does anyone have a blocking thing?

Blocking thing.

For the exit or entrance.

Yeah, you all get down there.

And as you're getting close to the skull, you see that same knoll that fake privateer had sent off earlier, relieved him of his guard duty.

And he's walking around with someone who looks really familiar.

Everyone make a perception check.

7.

14.

Not 20.

11.

It's almost like that knoll is walking with pancakes.

It's the shapeshifter.

Imposter.

Walking with, like as in like they're just kind of strolling with them.

Yeah.

Seems like they're kind of meandering slowly in your direction.

Okay.

I have a cape.

Could I put pancak under the cape?

I say, pancak, I need you to hold on tight to the back of my back and under my cape, as tight as you can.

It's almost like a pan-back hack.

Yes.

Yeah, why not?

Try it.

Yeah, you

get your cape out, and while pancakes on, I guess, like a piggyback ride with you, you...

put your cape over them.

Yeah.

So I look a little hunched-backed, but I mean, I'm a very large person, and they're a very, they're a halfling.

So this, in theory, should be okay.

I don't know.

We'll see.

They continue walking, and then they kind of see you, and they begin walking towards your group.

We just keep walking.

That's what you do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nothing to see here.

Don't there nods, like, you know, like that kind of like nod while you're walking through a hallway.

The technology and a co-worker that you kind of vaguely know.

Yeah.

Does that other pancak have both legs?

This pancak has magenta hair and is missing half the left leg.

How are they getting around?

With a crutch.

Ah, the crutch.

You read that like that wasn't there.

It's not there.

I was reading something else.

Okay.

Sorry, normally I'm like saying something and reading something and yeah, it's a whole deal.

The master of multitask.

Apparently not master if you can tell.

Yeah, walking around with a crutch.

Yeah, we just walked past.

That's what Natty's doing.

Natty's gonna walk past.

Natty's not even gonna look at this lowling.

Tov, make me a...

Let's just call it a deception check okie dokie that is a five

very good i think that passes oh great could i give him my inspiration die oh yeah you can sure you may thank you

you're welcome you're such a good friend that's a 17.

oh much better

yeah uh you're walking by the knoll gives you returns your nod gunther but the pancak looks at you the privateer and asks how did the the conversation with Infernus go?

I mean, you know, because we saw it.

Yeah.

Natty goes, uh, I will divulge more details later, but we can just say it did not go well.

Infernos was not pleased with our progress?

No, I'd be in a much better mood, you imagine, if it did go well, right?

Thanks for rubbing salt in a bad situation.

So we should keep the sea drinker where they are then.

They actually said

to.

Now John's got to think on his feet.

Gotta freeze the sea drinker.

Yeah.

Bring him to us.

Bring him to us.

Actually, Infernus ordered me to re-question the sea drinker.

So could you bring the sea drinker to the skull entrance?

Perfect.

Nailed it.

Bring the sea drinker to the entrance to this grotto?

Yes.

I have a plan.

Don't question it.

Surely you understand the amount of resources it would take to do that it will take a little while do you want to review the map yes

i lost mine

i'm starting to worry that the sea drinker is like a whale or something danny wouldn't say that nanny wouldn't say that okay that's just john wanting to be stupid because it's funny for this life penkek would begin walking and says okay okay let's head back to the main deck we can review the map where it lies i will be right there so just to be clear are we leaving the Sea Drinker where they are, or are we bringing the Sea Drinker here, despite the resources and time?

Now, see, this is not what I wanted to do right now.

I got other business deal that said I'd give you more details later.

I would go to the map and I will talk to you at the map, okay?

Gosh, we already had a problem today with this one.

Points to the knoll, okay?

So, I'm already in a testy mood.

So, just give me a second.

Testy.

Nice.

So good.

This one gave you trouble.

Pancak points at the knoll.

Yeah.

Pancak kicks that knoll squarely in the back into the water below and says, Trouble no more.

Thank you.

You, I believe, were the one asking to see the map.

So don't take that tone with me.

Don't take out your frustration with it, Furnace, on me.

You know what?

I will admit when I'm wrong.

You're right.

I was taking my frustration.

Thank you.

That helped so much.

You kicking, that was like a bomb on my soul.

And I appreciate it, okay?

I needed that moment, okay?

And I will apologize.

I raised my voice in an unnecessary way, okay?

Let me deal with the situation I got going on right here, right now, and then I will meet you at the map, okay?

We good?

We're good, but don't listen to Laskiel too much.

You know how they can talk their way out of just about anything?

What did they say?

Laskiel?

Yeah.

Talking about, I'm assuming the half-knoll.

Yeah, this Pancak motioned over towards the half-knoll that's being led by Gunther.

I put my finger to my nose and I say, purd.

Could I telepathically speak to Natty right now?

Please, please do so.

Because I have telepathic utterance, which means I could speak telepathically to any creature I could see within 60 feet of myself.

It's in a language that I know, and the creature understands you only if it knows that language, which I'm just speaking common.

And the creature cannot respond to you telepathically with its feet.

Okay.

Naddy, it's me, Doug.

I'm speaking to you telepathically.

Is there any maybe reason that we should maybe tell this fake pancake?

Like, oh, hey, you could take off the face.

You know, as you're just around colleague, you don't have to pretend to be this other person, and maybe we reveal who it is.

Natty puts a hand behind her back and a thumbs up

and goes, hey, actually,

I gotta ask.

Is that hard to keep that up?

And just Natty motions to like their whole body.

Does that get tiring?

It is quite time-consuming to apply the disguise and the makeup.

So it seems like it's a physical thing and not like a magical thing.

How long does that take to get off?

Taking it off is much faster than applying.

Do you need to use it for the rest of the day or you want to let your hair down?

Because I'm fine with it if you're fine with it.

I may need to return to Endridge Bay shortly, so

it'll be more efficient to maintain this for now.

Is there any check that I could do to see if I can see through this deception at all?

Just anything noticeable?

Just make an investigation check, we'll call it.

Oh, good.

I'm really good at those.

Well, I rolled a 19 and that got a a plus one, so that's a dirty 20.

Nice.

Sean's on fire.

Yeah, you look a little more closely at this pancake that's standing in front of you and you realize that this person's hair appears to be a wig.

Oh.

This one also is not wearing a wooden necklace and the upper half of this one's left leg is stuffed with hay.

What?

It's like this one is missing its entire leg, not just half of it.

And it's it's so half of it is being is actually hay.

It's like a part of disguise.

but the real pancak their entire left leg is gone the real pancakes just missing half of that legal half sorry the assignment yeah and fake pancakes which leg is missing is it the same missing leg as the real pancakes it's the left leg okay okay i gotta ask how how do you get that whole thing to work down there yeah i assume you're you're pointing to like the the leg yeah this fake pancak says well i don't have that leg so whether half or the hole is missing most people just overlook it that's true that's true people are not very perceptive okay?

And

Natty just kind of gives a little wink and pats the fake cat on the shoulder and goes, all right, I'll meet you at the map, okay?

Yeah, this pancak kind of like furrows their brow and then just kind of nods and then continues walking past.

Toll, make me a perception check.

Perception check.

Yeah.

That is

a six.

Okay, what do I see, Gus?

You just feel the pancake on your back, like shuffling and just kind of like uncomfortable and like mumbling.

Okay.

With Natty having exited that conversation, I start making my way towards the entrance to the skull and maybe adjusting kind of like my shoulder straps that like my shield and my hammer would be on to just kind of give them a little bit of extra leverage.

You know.

Sure.

And Lasgill was on the half-knoll that was with me.

Lasgil.

Lasgil.

How do you mess up names so bad?

Every time.

You write them down.

And that's what I did.

I read it because I forgot what it sounded like, so I read wrong.

Anyway, are they in the water now?

No, the guards in the water.

No, it was the guard knoll who got kicked into the water.

Are there still bubbles coming up?

Are they just kind of floating there, swimming, listening?

You peek over and take a look, and yeah, you see the knoll swimming for the shore.

Okay, all right, good.

Delphi, what else?

Yeah, yeah.

Did that fake Pancak have any type of accent that we could sense?

Yeah, were they talking like Pancak, or were they using a different voice?

Because we've now spoken to both of them, so.

It sounded to you like very similar to actual Pancak.

Okay.

Method.

Okay, so have they left?

Yeah, fake Pancak has continued proceeding to the north.

Pancak, can you get home on your own?

We should probably exit.

We should get to the cave entrance.

Exit, yes.

I'm not sure how to navigate the passage here.

Oh no.

Don't worry.

We know where to go.

All of you make uh perception checks.

Fourteen.

Four.

Five.

Eighteen.

Okay.

The fourteen and the eighteen were were okay.

That was Doug and Natty.

Natty, off in the distance from the north, you hear a booming voice calling out.

Hi!

Is the poop clean?

Is it safe to come out now?

Oh god.

Hello?

Gar!

Natty shifts her voice to

the guard

and could Natty like uh hmm I don't know because I don't have a good idea of like where the fake pancakes is now

where the one that's in the water and so could where did the fake pancake go do they go towards the brig up in towards the north yeah in that direction okay because if you remember the fake pancakes said they were going to the deck to look at the map okay then you know what natty goes that's our cue to get out of here as much as i want to know what's on that map I also want to know what tomorrow looks like.

I think that sounds like a good plan.

Yeah.

Yes, let us go, but the water drink.

What is it?

The water drinker?

The sea drinker.

Sea drinker.

Sea drinker.

The water drinker.

Let us go very quickly.

Is there a way to bar, like, stop the entrance of the school that they're coming in and out of?

Like, any sort of...

thing that we could put in front of it or it's pretty big if you had explosives maybe you could like collapse it because it's all carved out of stone

i mean i think it's up to you to try to figure out like how you would want to do it but it is really large a really large like carving does anyone have a way to bar the entrance to this school is this something that like if natty were to just rapid fire eldritch blast it would cause a cave in you could try it couldn't hurt yeah yeah okay yeah yeah yeah uh so natty would try that okay yeah i can hear micah's brain going they didn't check half of what i made out for this place.

Yeah,

go back for the sea drinker, and I'm wondering how we can do that.

A beam of crackling energy strikes towards a creature within range.

Great spell is force damage.

Force damage, you only have one beam, not two beams, right?

Oh, you're your fifth level, so you do get two beams?

No, but it's it is what do you call it?

Cantrip, so I can just do it over and over again if I'm not in combat.

Oh, I do have two beams.

What does that mean?

I didn't see that.

Yeah, so it's two beams at fifth level.

So you get two of them.

Two detail.

Oh,

well learn something new put we send private parts back with pancake and we shall go back for sea drinker pancake yeah pancake i feel like here's what's gonna happen gunther is that that fake pancake is gonna go towards the ship they're gonna then hear the real privateer asking about poo what that is gonna result in is them understanding that there is a fake privateer that just walked past them and that there was a ruse that was concocted in order for us to escape so if we want to go back in i'm not opposed to that.

We're probably gonna need to go in with force this time.

I don't think stealth or deception's on our side.

I think your leader should make a

battle plan here.

There you go.

That's me just divulging information that I have deduced with critical thinking.

Here's what we shall do.

Private parts take real pancakes.

Escape as quickly as possible.

We shall hide back and attack and slow them down and then get real sea drinker.

Are you sure we shouldn't all just stay together?

I don't know if we should send private parts off.

He kind of has to be monitoring us, right?

Uh, sir, might I suggest an alternative?

What is that?

Okay, in that room where we met the dude that was on his lunch break, I think he ate a sandwich or something.

He's dead.

He rang the bell for sandwiches, yeah.

Yeah.

Gus, correct me if I'm wrong.

There were piles of like cannonballs or something next to a cannon.

Yeah, there were supplies up there.

Yeah.

Could we hide Pancak there whilst we attempt a more aggressive approach?

That's just my suggestion, but I'm open I'm open to any option at this point.

I'm tired.

Last skill raises their hand.

Oh, if we're scheming,

can I take part?

Yes, please.

What you in here for?

Is this the new hairless hunch of this campaign?

Maybe.

What is this guy's deal?

What you in here for?

I like taking things.

I've got very sticky things.

Hey, you're Joe Pesci's friend from Home Alone.

Sticky bandit.

They reach into their pocket, and it seems like they really get a lot of their arm into their pocket.

It's bizarre.

Like it's really, really a deep pocket.

My friend Julie Andrews did that once.

Oh, I was gonna say it's a pocket of holding.

Yeah.

And they pull out a rolled-up piece of parchment.

Perhaps this could assist you.

Oh, is it a map?

It is a map.

Oh, is this the map that they wanted to review with us?

They're going to be very mad very soon.

Oh.

Can we take a look at it yeah yeah it's a map that depicts the coast of andrich bay and the slene sea there's a triangle drawn in the middle of the sea marked with a few x's and one word next to it that says brig does this look like anything like what the brig and the area we're in or is this a separate location it seems like it's a separate location because it's off in the beat off the bay in the sea Laskill?

Laskille.

Yes.

Yeah, that's your name, yeah.

They were talking about the sea Drinker earlier.

Do you have any information while you've been locked up?

Have you seen them in a brig in this area or are they elsewhere?

Oh no, the sea drinker's not here.

The sea drinker is on non-yemo.

Non-yimo.

None your business.

Is this the map to the sea drinker?

It's their

attempt at a map.

Let's go.

I guess we haven't considered that maybe, like, the people we're looking for aren't down here.

The problem is no one knows how to get there.

Oh, that's a problem for later, I think.

No one, except for me.

Oh no, Nazk.

Nazgul, you are like Yung Yu.

Laskil.

Laskill?

Come on.

Just type it out phonetically, how it's said.

Laskil.

Laskil.

You called him Nazgul.

Perhaps we can arrange a trade of some kind, and I can give you the information you desire, and I could also get something out of it.

How about the trade is us getting you out of here?

Oh, that's a very compelling offer.

Giggy right now is aggressively trying to get into that pocket, and like reaching in with Gigi's full hand, because Gigi

is just all over that.

You better watch that little one.

He might get lost in there.

And then Laskiel kind of like unlatches Giggy from his pocket and, you know, I feel like holding him very gingerly with the tips of his fingers and like puts him down on the ground.

I find telling that that little something something no doesn't turn out so well.

We need to go now.

Alright.

If we have map, we shall go.

Let's go Lask.

Laskiel.

Oh,

you learned my name.

You dirty Tagunthur.

Yas.

Laskiel pats you on the head very gingerly with Gunther.

Oh, I like this one.

He's a little slimy.

Are we moving?

Are we grooving?

Okay.

Let's get out of here.

Daddy, make-boom, boom.

What?

Are you gonna try and block the entrance, right?

That's not what that means to me.

I thought you were telling Giggy to make boom boom and you said Nanny by accident.

It's an Eldritch Blast, right?

Yeah.

Did we figure out if that was gonna happen?

We haven't tried it.

Yeah, we'll try it.

Well, in my head, but you tell me if this is not possible.

Because

we're not in combat and Eldritch Blast is at will, would I just be able to go over and over and over again?

Yeah.

So we won't get too pedantic about it, but it's like around, like, she'd be able to do it once around, so you should do it like once every six seconds, but let's just say you do it over and over again.

Sure.

Let me just make a roll here, just to see.

This is a roll for me.

Go for it.

I give them the option of either being on the ground or I could put them on my shoulder if they would prefer.

When you uncover Pancak, they seem very agitated and say, That was the imposter, wasn't it?

They were here.

They were, yeah.

I should have killed a faker.

Yeah, well, if you want to get out of here alive, I don't think we should.

Alive.

Yeah, Pancakes seems very upset and agitated.

We will get your revenge soon, Pat and Cat.

Don't worry.

First things first, we gotta get you back to Fizbum.

Fismum.

Sorry.

What are you doing?

So easy culture.

Yeah, so, uh, Natty, you begin launching Eldritch Blasts at will, and the first couple seem to have no effect on the boulder, but then after that, you start to see cracks appear that grow larger and begin to connect.

And right over the, like the right eye hole, the cracks all seem to come together, and that part of the boulder collapses into itself, and the whole thing kind of shifts and collapses down on the right side, blocking the entrance to the cavern that you were just in.

Nanny brings her fingers to her mouth and just goes,

Now we go bye-bye.

Quickly, can we make our way out?

Yeah, as you begin making your way out, you see

Giggy has a small bell in his hand, and he starts ringing it.

Laskiel says, oh, he's got sticky fingers.

That belongs in my pocket.

Here, let me get that little one.

And he reaches over to try to get the bell from Giggy.

Can Gunther try and grab it with his tongue?

Sure.

Make your what however you do that for your tongue, Gunther.

They need to make a dex.

Grapple check with it.

It would be an unarmed strike, would it not?

Hey.

So who, Giggy?

Yeah, I guess.

Do you mind rolling me a dex check for Giggy, Natty?

Oh, he actually has a dex modifier, plus three.

I rolled an 18.

That's 21, my dude.

That went.

Yeah, so you try to grab the bell, and I feel like Giggy would see it coming and then, you know, moves it out of the way.

And I imagine this is like the axe all over again.

Now we are not getting that back at all from Giggy, are we?

Yes.

Who he still has the axe.

So does Giggy dragging the axe in one hand and the bell in the other?

Yep.

I guess at that, Laskiel would look at the bell and look at the axe and say, well, he can keep it for now, I guess.

Laskiel, this is a rite of passage.

You're partisan party now.

No,

I don't want that.

I definitely don't want that.

No, no, you're here to stay.

Okay, post-haste.

Let us go.

We have so many NPCs with us.

Yeah, we do.

Gunther, you lead your team out of here?

Yeah, can we try and, to our best of our knowledge, exit back the way we've discovered that's successful?

Sure.

Oh, and picking up the crutch?

Crutch on the way out.

If we didn't already have it, I thought you did, but okay.

You make your way, you retrace your steps back through the passage you came.

Luckily, you dropped breadcrumbs along the way, and you were able to find your way back.

And you make it back to the high three in Endridge Bay.

That was much faster than how the journey ended.

Am I right?

That was so quick.

Fast travel.

We knew where we were going.

We know the way this time.

Yeah.

It's great.

No, I'm no complaints.

I assume you enter the high three here?

Yes.

Yes.

You enter and you see Fismum on the ground floor who looks up when the door opens and sees you all and sees Pancak.

And she lets out a cry and runs forward, embracing Pancak.

Is it really you?

Looks up at you for and says, you found them?

Yes.

Sure did.

It's the real deal.

And Laskiel.

I don't know who that is, but okay.

There are new party members.

I nudge Laskiel.

Right?

Oh, yes.

You guys.

So great.

Oh, Pancak.

I thought I'd never see you again.

It's so great to see you.

How can I ever thank you for bringing my pancak back?

Well, technically, there's seven of us, because we've got Gigi, and we've got private parts, and we also have Laskil.

And Captain Mumbles, don't forget.

We got eight of of us, Captain Mumbles.

Grumbles?

I always get that wrong.

What did I name?

Grumbles, dead.

Grumbles.

Okay, Grumbles.

You can help us get to here.

And holds out the map.

Well, you'll need a boat and hopefully some better seas for a journey like that.

Better than this weather we're having.

But for now, as a thank you, I can provide you some lodging if you'd like.

Yes.

Oh, you know, I think we could use some of that.

How many beds you got?

There's a house at the docks that no one's using using that I can put you all up in.

That sounds great.

Sounds great.

Are there bunk beds in this house, or what's the deal?

Yeah, what's the bunk bed situation?

No bunk beds, just regular beds.

And I can reward you monetarily as well.

Oh.

Oh, that would be nice.

My mom always said a job well done is its own reward, okay?

I'll take Naddy's two gold pieces.

Was your mother unemployed?

Oh, you are all so wonderful to talk with.

Here, let us discuss as we make our way to the house.

Fismum leads you outside and begins walking through the streets of Enderidge Bay out towards the docks.

And, you know, the storm continues to rage outside, just raining non-stop.

And of course, this is what Fizmum was referring to, about the weather needing to be better before you could depart.

As the storm rages on, you know, you wonder how long you're going to have to walk in it.

Fismum, almost sensing it, says, it's not much further.

And she points just ahead onto the docks.

Told, you follow her outstretched hand and finger to the docks and you see something familiar.

You recognize the fishing house in the distance that Fismom is pointing at.

You recognize it as the fishing house of your mentor, Bjorn Boger.

Oh, home sweet home!

Find out what that means and what the future has in store for us on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Oh my gosh, I hope I cleaned up before I left.

On the adventures of Laskyel and the rest.

Welcome to Stinky Dragon Cribs, yo.

This is my house.

Over here is where I hang.

This is where I listen to music.

I like how now Chris is going to try to say Laskiel as many times as possible to prove that he knows the name.

What's funny to me is I know when he's going to say it because his eyes look up whenever we're going to talk about Laskiel and then he like looks back down to continue what he's saying.

Alright, but yeah, find out what this means.

We're going to explore the fishing house of Bjorn, see what Toll's memories are of the place, and find out what rewards Fismum may offer.

All in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Greetings, gallant guests and giddy gatherers.

Guzzler the goblet giver here with a grand and glorious gospel.

Behold my bargain, Bin Bonanza.

It's a bodacious blowout bash brimming with brilliant buys and bellow-worthy bargains.

For a brief but blazing bout till May 31st, our storage stash at store.stinkydragonpot.com is bursting with nearly 30 beloved baubles, each chopped with a beefy 20% off.

But beware, brave buyer.

When the bell tolls midnight on the final day of May, these valuables vanish into the void.

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So sling some silver, snack some spoils, and sip from the stein of sweet savings before this clearance crusade is nothing but a ghostly glimmer in Guzzler's Grimoire.

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In fact, here's a quick peek from Second Wind.

There was a, I felt like a missed opportunity.

You caught it really quick, but almost too quick, where Natty did a great job by saying they were prefacing why Captain Grumbles doesn't speak.

So when the guys were walking up and Naddy had transformed into a pirate she was like uh oh and that's how you lost your tongue and can't talk blaine that is on my list of things to talk about that i wish i had done i wrote i should have given john grief about the pirate captain not having a tongue i you're right in the in the moment and as the npcs i should have caught him and called him out that should have been an escalation like i say in passing as me because i think if i remember right at the time i think micah slacked that to me but i should have pivoted it to an npc dialogue this isn't a favorites thing, but I feel like you have caught me with my pants down like that several times during DD roleplay.

And then I'm like,

like when I lie in D ⁇ D, you guys throw roadblock after roadblock after roadblock.

And I am just stumbling my way through conversation.

And it's always very fun.

I love that, though, because...

That kind of gives space for improv and gives opportunity to like just increase the storytelling.

And you're like, in a way, you're like no-anding someone

when you're like catching them in lies like that and just like in bills and bills on top of itself.

And I think, I think that's a lot of fun.

Yeah.

I like the

element of just digging my hole deeper and deeper.

And it is funny because you keep asking questions and it keeps eliciting responses in a way that makes John in particular tear his hair out because he's like, just stop talking.

Like, I didn't have that moment this week, but I feel like it has happened this campaign and it will happen again Where John is just like, just stop opening your mouth.

Just shut your mouth.

It's really fun.

Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com.

We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show.

Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like FizMum, named after Kim Karis, voiced by Aaron Zeck at Aaron Zeck.

Noel Guard One, voiced by Patrick at Rhaegar, Lousy Laskil, named after Alex underscore B007, voiced by Chad James at Chad JamesRT from Death Battle, Infernos, voiced by Laurel at Laurel Rothamill, Privateer, named after Pitfam3, voiced by Bernie Burns at Bernie from Rooshi Teeth slash Morning Somewhere.

Pancak, named after Atomic Pancake, voiced by Elise Willems at Elise Willems from Answer for It podcast.

This week's ever requested was submitted by Queen Chartreuse.

This episode of Tales of the Sticky Dragon was produced by Benernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold and David Sonier.

Tune in next time for the thrilling episode of Tales of the Sticky Dragon.

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