C03 - Ep. 33 - From On Hyra - Seventh Inning Dretch

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Speaker 1 Afternoon, all you ancient Titans. Stomp or swim into the Stinky Dragon and sip on our latest libation.
Nectar of the gods, child.

Speaker 1 It's a mixture of a torrent of telepathy-tested tap water, a brew of booming battle-borne tea leaves, a sprinkling of primordial powdered sugar, a lashing of painfully puckered lemonade, and finally topped with a sprig of stunning mint and a slice of reality-altering orange.

Speaker 1 One sip of this celestial sipper and you'll have advantage on never being too far out of reach.

Speaker 1 Previously our adventurers Doug and Munther dove down a dank drain, but their deliberate detour delivered a dilemma at a drainage divide.

Speaker 1 The desired metallic musk was smelt to the left, yet a suspicious shout sounded from the right. B-Team befriended the brothers of Tollv, Teo, and Neo.

Speaker 1 They were attacked by dreadful dreches who thieved their thaumatic bodies, heads, and armor. So B-Team braved the musty minds of Sorus Sump in search of the Dretch's den.

Speaker 1 But have they bitten off more than they can chew? Grab a guzzler, and let's get back to this gassy cause.

Speaker 1 Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm hitting our four players with an arrow. Fair.
Cha-ping.

Speaker 1 That's Natty shooting it out of the sky with her

Speaker 1 with her eldritch blasts. Classic, Natty.
All right. This week's question is, if you could master one skill, which would you pick and why? And that's submitted by Doug Boone.

Speaker 1 All right, everyone, go ahead and roll a... That's my question.
Thank you again, Doug. It is.
Everyone go ahead and roll a D20. One, eight,

Speaker 1 six, seventeen. So 17, 8, 6, 1.
Shout out to our Patreon member, Doug Boone.

Speaker 1 Love Doug Boone. I don't remember who the people are because I'm a big nerd.
All I remember are numbers. All right, so Mr.
17, you're up first.

Speaker 1 Hello, I'm Mr. 17.
No, I'm 17. Mr.
17 is my father. Hi, I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drought, warlock, mother, drag queen, and

Speaker 1 just a nice gal. If I was able to master one skill, I would say, I mean, there's a lot of skills that I'd like to master.
I love getting better at stuff.

Speaker 1 But top of my mind right now, as far as importance, is I would master the skill of the magical control of time so that I can cast a spell to go back in time to move my auto harp into a different slot in my inventory.

Speaker 1 So that when that dadgum, you know, group of folks who I'm part of their cult now asked me to sacrifice something, it wouldn't have been maybe the most important thing in my inventory.

Speaker 1 You could also write a song about it and, you know, you're from true.

Speaker 1 No, but they can't write a song because they don't have their auto harp. Yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. It's funny that Natty says the most important thing in her inventory is the auto harp and not Gigi.
Interesting. He's not in my inventory.
What are you talking about? Not in your inventory.

Speaker 1 What would he be in my inventory? You lost Giggy. He's in my heart.
Where's Giggy in my inventory?

Speaker 1 well then don't be making up lies and then gaslighting me like i like i'm saying something crazy all right this is part of it's all right i want to change my answer i'd like to master the skill of not being gaslit by our dungeon master and i'd like to master the skill of gaslighting

Speaker 1 all right thank you natty i promise i'll stop gaslighting you yeah you know i said that

Speaker 1 all right i believe we had uh eight next that's me hey it's your good friend blame Gibson.

Speaker 1 Yoohoo, it's me, Tor. What? No? Someone doesn't agree with that? No, no.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And Yoohoo, I play Tov,

Speaker 1 the male Thaumatech barbarian level six. And Gustago, Gustago, if I had to master a skill, it would be the

Speaker 1 craft of performance art, you know, like acting. You know, I want to be like

Speaker 1 a bard, like a barbarian bard, a barbarian similar to like a Dave Bautista or John Cena or Dwayne The Rock Johnson. You know, I just want to act, you know, and

Speaker 1 unfortunately, I have this huge hulking body that makes me good for killing, so that makes me a barbarian.

Speaker 1 What's the name of the guy that played the president in Running Man? Wasn't that also like a wrestler? The president in Running Man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he had to then go and fight and be a gladiator in the Running Man to fight. you're talking about jesse ventura he wasn't the president but he was a

Speaker 1 a wrestler past he was a past performer on the running man okay yeah he's the governor of minnesota the baja dude i love jesse ventura don't even get me started on jesse ventura that guy's a nut i'm just asking if i actually got that correct did i name the right muscle man yeah well yeah okay yeah good i got one to bleed i got one great example of a barbarian yeah see i'm interested in your culture blain yeah do i multi-class is that what i got got to do now?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
Let's do it. Finally, one of you, I dare you.
All right. Well, level us up, coward.

Speaker 1 Watch him do it. Today's episode brought to you by coffee.

Speaker 1 No, don't give us more levels, Gus. No.

Speaker 1 Chase me. All right.
Thanks. Blaine.
Next up, I believe, was Barbara with a six.

Speaker 7 It was. Correct.
Very good job, Gus. Inspiration die to you.
Gaslight him more.

Speaker 1 I've already got one.

Speaker 1 No, you don't. He does.

Speaker 7 No, you don't.

Speaker 1 All right, get out of here.

Speaker 7 Well, hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkelman, professional gaslighter, and also player of Doug Boone, the artificer bug bear.

Speaker 7 And, you know, I actually have mastered quite a few skills, not to brag or anything like that, but spend a lot of time like learning and building and doing a lot of things with my hands.

Speaker 7 But the one thing I don't know how to do and I really, I just, I'm all, I just like butterfingers when I try to do it is play a musical instrument.

Speaker 7 And I feel like, you know, if Doug maybe learned the guitar or the piano or something like that, he really impressed people around him.

Speaker 7 People aren't really as impressed with my intellectual abilities as much as, you know, they are with the arts. So, oh, I'd like to maybe learn a musical instrument.

Speaker 7 Maybe Naddy could help me with the herarto harp or something like that.

Speaker 1 It's a bit of a sore spot, but

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 yeah. I mean, music is essentially like really fancy math with cool sounds.

Speaker 7 Oh, when you put it that way, I want to learn even more.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 We We can make this happen. Absolutely.
We could be a little duet. Can you give us a little ditty right now, Bart?

Speaker 1 Doug?

Speaker 1 Can you give us a little ditty right now, Doug?

Speaker 1 That was my music. That sounded like a song.
Yeah. That's when someone's playing Mario Kart and gets off the track, but just keeps going and then gets on the track eventually.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 That's all, folks.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 7 I'm Barbara, and I had a character named Bart who was a bard, and that was like designed on purpose to confuse people and it did its job just now after three campaigns.

Speaker 1 Like three years later, it got me. We just filmed Baldur's Gate 3 as the Infinites.
Yeah. So that's how an hour ago.

Speaker 7 Don't do Bart's voice.

Speaker 7 Give you a little ditty right now.

Speaker 1 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 7 See, I can't play it.

Speaker 1 That sounded like Depeche mode. Was that Don't Let Me Down Again? Or what's that song, Gigaz? Never Let Me Down Again.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Oh, no, I just played some random tunes there.

Speaker 1 Sounded like the little piano that they play at the Rugrass theme song. What is that? Like a Coliabe or something?

Speaker 1 So talented. No, that's definitely some new wave action going on.
I'm into it. I'll buy the record.

Speaker 7 For sale now. It's stored at sinkydragonpod.com.

Speaker 1 As soon as we get the 12 beard back in stock, we're going to have Doug's album on there.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks.
That's a promise.

Speaker 1 That's a promise. 100% promise.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, Barbara.
Next with one, I believe, is Christopher. Yeah.
Hey, I'm Chris. I play

Speaker 1 Gunther,

Speaker 1 the level six male Croque fighter. And the skill that I wish I could try, tried so hard when I was younger.
It's very challenging, but it is very impressive when you do it. It is called tongue rope.

Speaker 1 And it is where you use your tongue and you spit it out. And then you jump, jump, jump, jump, jump.
And I always trip.

Speaker 1 For the first time, I imagined what it it would be like to have like an eight-foot-long tongue. And the idea hurts to think about.
Like, imagine your tongue just like, ah.

Speaker 7 Where would it roll up into? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But do you mean it's

Speaker 1 like a jump rope, but with your tongue? Yes. Where do you store it? In my mouth.
It is right here. I use it now to speak.

Speaker 7 How do you have any room for anything else in your mouth when you got an eight foot long tongue rolled up in you?

Speaker 1 Well, I can sometimes feed food. Eat food? Do you ever choke on your tongue? Eat food.
Fit food in my sto in my mouth with the tongue. Wow.
Yeah, so would you I could try the jump? Listen, Helsh.

Speaker 1 I'll show you how bad I am.

Speaker 1 It's just licking everything in the room.

Speaker 7 You also have teeth marked all over your tongue.

Speaker 1 Bite a lot. Yeah.
Yeah, it is a challenging skill. I wish I could do it because it is so impressive.
World's worst fruit roll-up.

Speaker 7 All right, we'll see who masters their skill first.

Speaker 1 Ready? Go. To be or not to be.

Speaker 1 All right, thanks, Gunther. Appreciate that.

Speaker 7 Can Doug go take a look at the overturned minecart?

Speaker 1 Yeah. What do you want to do? Like, you want to, like, look under it, see what's what it's covering, or you want to, like.

Speaker 7 I assume, like, without having to lift it, if it's something that's, like, made of a few pieces, there's probably cracks I could peek into to see if there's anything under it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 7 Without actually, like, releasing anything that might be under there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, make me an investigation check.

Speaker 7 I have a plus four. That is a nine, so that's a 13.

Speaker 1 13, yeah. You go up and yeah, there's a, you know, a small hole punched in the side of the minecart, probably from years of use.

Speaker 1 And, you know, you put your eye up to it and take a look inside and you see some tools. You see a hand drill and a pickaxe in there.
And what appear to be some various chunks of metal.

Speaker 7 Oh, actually, this stuff might be kind of useful.

Speaker 1 And as you're looking at it and you turn to convey that to your party, the minecart gets overturned and three armored dredges jump out from under the mine cart. Far monster card.

Speaker 1 Yeah, holding up weapons and menacing you all. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative.

Speaker 1 The dretches burst out from under the minecart. So everyone go ahead and roll initiative.

Speaker 7 17.

Speaker 1 8. 30, 20.
11. My last one was like 18.
It was. It was.
Rest in peace. 18.
Is that the end of the last episode I rolled? Yeah, well, it's last episode. This is the now.
Get with it, Gunther.

Speaker 1 The Dretches rolled a four, so they are last in initiative. Suckers.
Suckers.

Speaker 7 They're down in the dredges.

Speaker 1 All right, Naddy, you see these three hideous creatures threatening your friend Doug. What do you want to do?

Speaker 1 All right, so there's three of them, and they are gathered up together because they were under that minecart. Yeah, they were huddled under that minecart, so they're all pretty clustered together.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, first, a little panache. Natty's gonna use her elemental gift of flight.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what's so funny about that, Blaine Gibson?

Speaker 1 Because we're in a cave, you're just gonna go, woo!

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was gonna ask, how tall is the room we're in, Ram? That is a great question. I'll reread the room description, which I probably should have done when we started here.

Speaker 1 You are in a round cavern with an overturned minecart, and there's child-sized burrows dug throughout the room, and a giant centipede corpse that was blocking your path when you first came into the cavern here.

Speaker 1 So, it's pretty big. It's a pretty big round, cavernous room.
Hallpark on height? Let's say

Speaker 1 20 feet. Yeah, so Natty goes up to maximum height.
Now she has Overwatch. And let's bring out Natty Online.
Natty Online. Let's bring out Oldie Goldie and cast a moat of hell.

Speaker 1 Ooh,

Speaker 7 yee-haul. We're then pirates when we need them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yar, let's not be doing that again. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Literally. As a reminder, I manifest a pocket of hell that is 15 feet.
It's a sphere. I imagine I could do that with getting all three of them in there and not Douglas.
And they get blinded. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. They do get blinded and are blinded while they're still in it.

Speaker 1 And they also take some damage. A creature who starts their turn in this area takes 3d6 fire damage.
A creature who ends their turn in that area must succeed in a wisdom saving throw.

Speaker 1 And then if they fail that, they take more damage. And since they're blinded, last time we did it, I think Gus, they had to like do a little roll to see if they could get out.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But let's deal with this damage first, I think, right? Yeah, 3d6 is of far. Do they get a save or anything on that? No, sir.
Sorry. Oh, they do when they start their turn.
You want to do it then?

Speaker 1 But yeah. Since I could just do it now, since we're talking to me, I'm going to do it now.

Speaker 1 Five.

Speaker 1 Five.

Speaker 1 Three. Thirteen.
Have you considered a moat of heaven?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 so they only look like they only save if they end their turn in there. If they end their turn there, they do that wisdom saving throw.
And then if they fail that, they take psych damage.

Speaker 1 Right, but they don't get a save on the start of their turn. No, they do not.
They just take damage. All right.
Well, that's yet another broken spell for Natty Wonder.

Speaker 1 All right, so yeah, hold on to that for now. And at the start of their turn, they're going to have a bad time.
Okay. And once again, Mr.

Speaker 1 Gigglesworth is going to approach the edge of hell and stand there waiting to try to nick somebody in the ankles if they come out.

Speaker 7 I'm just standing by it going,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's like a dog at your front door when it hears someone outside who's coming home. He's like, oh, it's like all excited and ready.
100%. Tail wagging.

Speaker 1 A hyperactive Pomeranian holding an axe.

Speaker 7 What a cute baby.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. All right, you got anything else for us, Natty, or is that for it for you and Geeky? That'll be it.
All right.

Speaker 1 And he won't do any action, but Captain Grumbles will yell some stuff at those guys. Make me a let's call it a wisdom check for Captain Grumbles.
Oh no, this is the woods where we lose him.

Speaker 1 Four? You don't know this, but a cold shiver runs down Captain Grumbles' spine as he sees the mode of hell manifest in front of him. Because he's a zombie.

Speaker 1 He's got he doesn't know why, but something's not right with that thing.

Speaker 1 Something in his past life.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it says if he experienced it before.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's he was, I forgot. He was literally in it.
I was thinking because he was dead. Oh, yeah.
He's born from this. Yeah.
In a way. Molded by it.
Douglas. Or Doug, sorry.
Europe.

Speaker 7 It's kind of like. That's calling me by my government name.

Speaker 1 Douglas Furboon.

Speaker 7 So. Natty cast mode of hell around the three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably not the thing I should have done at the top of combat so no one can see them. Wondering about that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if y'all just want to like maybe take a like a little breather or like ready something, something,

Speaker 1 you can you can you can take your time.

Speaker 1 Decide where you want you to stand in the room. You got all the time.

Speaker 7 What happens if you like if I wanted to cast firebolt into the mode of hell? Because I could see where the moat is, I assume.

Speaker 1 All right, it's not area of effect.

Speaker 1 So it says you hurl a moat of fire at a creature or object within range and the range is 120 feet. So that's not a problem.
Make a ranged spell attack against the target on a hit.

Speaker 1 The character takes damage. So I think in this case, the way I would work this is you would make your range spell attack, but you would do so at disadvantage because you can't actually see them.

Speaker 1 So that's the way it would probably work.

Speaker 7 Okay, well, I'm going to hold off on that then. And instead, I'm going to cast guidance on...
Am I close enough to touch Gunther?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can make that happen.

Speaker 7 Okay, I'm going to cast guidance on Gunther, which means...

Speaker 7 D4. Add a D4.

Speaker 7 Oh, it's ability checks, though. I always forget.

Speaker 1 It's still good if they get attacked. Yeah.
Man, you never know. Gunther might want to do a backflip or something cool, something groundbreaking that we've never seen in our campaign before.

Speaker 1 That sounds sick. That sounds dope.
That sounds cool. Okay, barrel roll.

Speaker 7 There it is. And then I'll also bring out Gambot and just like

Speaker 7 pop out in front of me as some additional protection.

Speaker 1 All right, that's it for Doug.

Speaker 1 Next up, we got Gunther. Gunther wants to do a defensive backflip.
Oh, he was ready.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Defensive backflip.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I have it in mind what that is.
Can you describe that for us, though, just to see if we're on the same page? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Defensive backflip, obviously, is where he pulls out a sword, a shield, does a backflip, and so that he's shield lands shield facing the enemy, and then readies an attack for whenever they come out.

Speaker 1 Okay. Can we roll for it? Yeah, why don't you go ahead and make

Speaker 1 what would you call that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, make that an acrobatics check for Bunther.

Speaker 1 A one.

Speaker 1 No way.

Speaker 7 But add your d4.

Speaker 1 So it's a one plus eight plus a nine

Speaker 1 eleven with everything. Yeah, the spirit of Kyborg must be here somehow with that one.
But yeah, with an 11.

Speaker 1 With an 11, you don't manage. You manage to at least land on your feet.
It's not the most graceful thing.

Speaker 1 I think it's like the thing you do when you're a little kid and you do something like you jump and you think it's really far and really cool. But from an outside perspective, it's like, whatever.

Speaker 1 It's like you just kind of jump and do a backflip and land unsteadily on your feet. He thought he did a backflip, but all he did was twirl around in place.
I love it. Like that kind of thing, right?

Speaker 1 He's kind of like lean to the right and thought he did it, but all he did was like just kind of turn himself around. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I'm ready. Sounds about right.
Defense. And that's it.
Oh, that's it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Waiting for them. I'm readying to attack as they emerge.
Okay, okay. Cole, what do you want to do? Gunther is showing off some serious skills over there.
Yoohoo,

Speaker 1 yeah, I mean, I feel like we got this thoroughly covered, so why not play around a little? You know, let's play in this space. So I want to walk up to the edge of the mode of hell.

Speaker 1 And, you know, earlier I said I wanted to become an actor. Okay, so I'm going to try that now.
I'm going to lay prone on the ground, close my eyes, stick my tongue up,

Speaker 1 and then I'm going to make them believe through acting that I am dead. And when they come out, I'll kill them.

Speaker 1 Thoughts? Thoughts, everybody? No, I love it. It's a faint.
Yes. Like F-E-I-N-T.
Oh, I thought like a good heavens, what a great performance, Tove. You deserve the Oscar.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, anyways, that's what I do, and then I hold my attack.

Speaker 1 Were you expecting applause or something? Yes, this is my acceptance speech. I'd like to think the Academy.

Speaker 1 What's your motivation?

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Let me see.

Speaker 1 I'm wearing the dead skin of my.

Speaker 1 I'm burning the corpse. Now I must, uh, I must embrace the corpse, okay? I must, I must believe that I am dead man.

Speaker 1 Wake up, dead man. Uh beautiful, but for for a little like a little show for my friends, I you know, based on the faint thing, I will go, oh

Speaker 1 I love it. All right, is that it for you, Tolf? Yeah, Tolf, give me a performance check to see uh how effective this is and whether or not you'll be considered for your performance by the Academy.

Speaker 1 Ooh la la, my first break. That is a uh

Speaker 1 that's not bad. That is a six.

Speaker 1 I think I nailed it, guys.

Speaker 1 Not bad.

Speaker 1 Not good, though. No.
Benedict Cumberbatch doesn't have anything to worry about next year

Speaker 1 at the Academy Awards. He'll be fine.
Thanks, Toll. You're welcome.
And now with that, I believe it's time for some hell. Yeah, now they take 13 points of fire damage.
Woo!

Speaker 7 If only there was a firebolt in there, too.

Speaker 1 Everyone's been kind of waiting and staying at the edge of this mode of hell, but the moat finally manifests itself with a blast of brimstone and heat radiating out, incinerating everything inside for 13 points of damage.

Speaker 1 And what happens? It doesn't just go off, right? Like the moat stays there? Yeah. Okay.
The moat activates and nothing steps out of it.

Speaker 7 Are they immediately just dead? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, I can ask, should I be rolling for a wisdom check in psychic damage? Let's roll it.

Speaker 1 You have to roll for a wisdom check. I said let's.

Speaker 1 Then roll. A creature ends their turn in that era and must succeed on a wisdom saving throw.
I rolled a one. Rolled a one.

Speaker 1 Is that a success or? Hulv opens one eye and says, Are they still in there? Are they coming out?

Speaker 7 They're still trying to do his backflip. Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 They failed. That was a roll for all of them? Yeah.
Let's do them all as a group. It's only three.
Okay, 3d6 psychic damage. As the voices of the damn crowd their minds.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes I listen to this podcast and something scary happens in my ear and it freaks me out. IRL, that's going to be that moment for everybody.
Way to go, Chris. You did it.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah.
14 points psychic damage.

Speaker 1 Still no motion. Nothing emerges from hell.
Shall I go in and look for them, Natty?

Speaker 1 How long until the moat wears off? Is it like an hour or two?

Speaker 1 I can stay still. Well, I'm a good actor.
Watch.

Speaker 1 it it's it's all dependent upon my concentration i could drop it if you think there might be a mystery upfoot if we take natty out of her concentration i can just and my concentration y'all just need to talk to each other concentrate on my performance oh i don't i don't know how you could concentrate on anything while told me talking to you to be honest acting um natty will drop her concentration mode of hell is gone right as you drop your concentration a foot steps out of the mode of hell.

Speaker 1 Not attached to anything, just a foot. Oh no!

Speaker 1 Is it a hairy green dretch foot? It's a, yeah, a hairy, a disgusting hairy green, pustule-filled foot.

Speaker 1 And you drop your mode of hell and you see what used to be three armored dretches lying in a pile in the middle. Did I one-shot these guys? Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 Toles admires them. Oh, they're good.

Speaker 7 I think they were just too scared of Giggy.

Speaker 1 They're better than you, Toll. They beat you.
Wow. I'm sorry.
I have to vote for them for the best performance.

Speaker 1 Speaking of Gigi, Gigi does start chewing on that one piece of foot. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 He needed something. He needed something.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, like a little dachshund who's got a toy and just like, ah, just like shakes it around. Love it.

Speaker 7 Is there like a squeak in there? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Gunther look around and see if there's anything that remains of them worthwhile. It's in Giggy's mouth.
Yeah, make an investigation check. I do an investigative backflip.

Speaker 7 Let us eat.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 Gunther.

Speaker 1 How'd that go? What was that roll?

Speaker 1 It was a

Speaker 1 two. Cool.

Speaker 7 I feel right on fire.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry to catboard. Oh, I feel him in this room.
Well, that was just for the investigation.

Speaker 1 The backflip, I didn't do yet. Do you want me to do a backflip? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's do it. Here it comes.
12. Not bad.
Oh. I rolled a four.
I have an eight to acrobatics.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's real bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, once again, it's like...

Speaker 1 It's a little better, but you're still just doing that thing where you close your eyes, jump in place, and spin around as opposed to actually doing a flip you're you're turning on the wrong axis uh but you think you're doing great and you you do your investigative back flip and turn to face the remains of the armored dretches and there's not much left other than those bluish gray metallic pieces that they had covering them oh

Speaker 1 that be pieces of like the thaumatec yeah is that similar to the the metal that we found in the Natty's new church. Yes, it looks nearly identical.

Speaker 1 Can we, can we, I mean, I'm sure that this is going to be a mystery that unravels throughout the episode, but yeah, is this Neo's parts? Because he was missing his armor. It's the same color, right?

Speaker 1 He's missing his body. Yeah, he.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, no. One of them.
T.O.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Yeah, he was missing like his alley.

Speaker 7 He was his missing body. Neo's missing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the last episode, one of you, whoever had the piece, offered it to T.O., who, and then Neo grabbed it and started like trying to reattach it to his body.

Speaker 7 Okay. Could Doug go pick up all the pieces?

Speaker 1 Absolutely. We can call them Neo pets.

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Speaker 8 Hey, I'm Arnie Nikam from the fully improvised comedy podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, John the Talking Badger, Bing Bong, and Usinor the Wizard.

Speaker 1 I greet the listeners.

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Speaker 1 I hope it was sentient. Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview.
How I hate evil.

Speaker 8 Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of Foon.

Speaker 1 Looking for adventure.

Speaker 8 Getting caught up in escapades. Hello from the Magic Tavern is available right now on your favorite podcast app and ad-free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon.

Speaker 8 Subscribe to Hello from the Magic Tavern today.

Speaker 7 Can Doug also determine by picking up all these pieces if like he could cohesively make it into what he perceives as missing from one or both of the siblings.

Speaker 1 Oh, you made this card piece.

Speaker 1 Make an intelligence check.

Speaker 1 18. Yeah, you think you're missing a significant amount of pieces.
It's like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with only a fraction of the pieces.

Speaker 1 You find parts that fit together, but other parts that don't seem to fit anywhere. But you can make some decent progress with how these all are supposed to go together.

Speaker 7 Okay. Yeah.
Could I then just put it in my inventory and collect them?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hate collecting missions and video games.

Speaker 7 The worst. Does it matter? I don't know if I need to write down a number of how many pieces I have or is it just pieces?

Speaker 1 Just write pieces. Then over your head, the numbers 2 slash 18 appear.

Speaker 7 That's it? Oh, man. We're going to have to murder a lot of dredges.

Speaker 1 Time to go farming. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 7 Well, I guess just be careful if you lift any mine cards up in here. But the question is, how do we get around this giant caterpillar thing? Centipede.
Centipede thing.

Speaker 1 It's dead, right? Or is it dead? Yeah, yeah. We just go over it.
Yeah, you can just kind of shove it and get around it.

Speaker 1 Tolv would stand up and dust himself off and then bow. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
And see,

Speaker 1 yeah, he pulls his hand in front of his face. See,

Speaker 1 my flight lasts for 10 minutes and I can just hover. Can I just keep that going for 10 minutes? Yeah, sure.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Someday we need to attach some string to Natty's foot and pretend like they're a balloon as like a disguise, you know? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Is that how Giggy is traveling? Yeah, Gigi just like holding onto his harness.

Speaker 1 Giggy's just walking on the ground, holding on to to mama with his mom balloon. Love it.

Speaker 7 That's adorable.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're going back to our dungeon maze mechanic. And correct me if I'm wrong, Doug, I believe you were the one who drew this monster card and triggered this.

Speaker 7 I believe so, yeah.

Speaker 1 Terwold, since you made an intelligence check to put this stuff back together, Doug, I want you also to make me a survival check as well. Okay.
Can do.

Speaker 1 19. Oh, that's really good.

Speaker 1 Okay, as you're collecting and putting together these pieces of blue-gray metal, you find a few other smaller pieces that lead off down one of the tunnels in front of you, which is you feel like it's kind of leading you in the correct path you need to go.

Speaker 7 Guys, I have a feeling that this is the correct path we need to go, and I found more pieces down this way.

Speaker 1 Follow the leader. Good job, Doug.
All right, so that means next up would be toll.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 I will pursue pitfalls. Wisdom.
That would be peruse, but sure. Peruse pitfalls, Micah.

Speaker 1 Micah Katana, my good, oh my god. Peruse.
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Leave it in there.

Speaker 1 Which you reveal two cards in the river. You choose one to discard and shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river.
Yes, that's the one. All right.
Wisdom check?

Speaker 1 Yeah, make me a wisdom check.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that's a net 20 baby. Yell!

Speaker 1 What is that, like an 18? No.

Speaker 1 No, I have a plus zero. Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 Zesty Gus is here. Now I will pursue

Speaker 1 this path.

Speaker 1 All right. You pursue the path.
Which two cards do you want to reveal?

Speaker 1 It's not mean when I embrace the insults. Yes.

Speaker 1 It's so good that we figured out a way to make a living being idiots because we're so good at that. We might as well get paid.

Speaker 1 I'm actually a scientist on the side.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blaine's hobby is science. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Which cards do you want to reveal here?

Speaker 7 My job is beach.

Speaker 1 I mean, that energy is us, Barbara. That energy is us.

Speaker 7 We are all Kens.

Speaker 1 Yes. There's three cards to choose from, correct? For the different passes.
Okay.

Speaker 1 What are the left and the right cards reveal? Oh, you sure about that? Okay.

Speaker 1 Left and center. Left and center.

Speaker 1 Left and center or left and right?

Speaker 1 Left and right. Okay, left and right.
You evaluate the dangers ahead and do a little bit of reconnaissance and scouting.

Speaker 1 And you feel you ascertained that going either to the left or the right would both lead you on the correct path. Oh.

Speaker 1 That makes no sense. Geographically speaking, what are we talking about? It's like fork.
What's in the center?

Speaker 1 You didn't peruse that one. A dairy queen.
You can still go in the center if you want. So basically, Blaine, you can just pick one of those, put it back down, and just take that path.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Left. It sounds like Mario every time.

Speaker 1 Left, left, left. Let's,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'll put one down and I guess. Yeah.
Wait, so what happens is you pick one and then shuffle the other two. You choose one to discard.
Yeah. That's what I do.
So

Speaker 1 you're discarding left.

Speaker 1 I discard center. Is that possible? No.

Speaker 1 But you know that there now is a correct path in the river. Yeah.
Yeah, but we're just discarding one of those and then shuffling the other ones. All right.

Speaker 1 So you still have to pick left, center, or right. Left.
So he just made our chances worse. Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 1 That's not true. That's not true.
I'm a scientist. Go left.
Is that your final answer? Yes, Reed. Just look it in.
All right, locking in left. That's the worst that can happen.

Speaker 7 Quite a lot, actually.

Speaker 1 You pursue the left path, and you see a shadowy figure with a glint of metal quickly shuffling past the tunnel glowing with firelight.

Speaker 1 Hey, come, come back. Where are you going? You hoo! You hoo!

Speaker 1 You turn a corner down a dark set of stairs, the stench of rotting flesh and moldy sewage filling your lungs.

Speaker 1 The sounds of thick, bubbling fluid echoes all around as you're in a wide and deep cavern, and without warning, a blazing fire illuminates the far side of this den.

Speaker 1 A pool of pure fire burns as a short hooked silhouette stands over it. They address the pool.
My overlord, we have procured the gemstone. It was right where the fire eater said it would be.

Speaker 1 With your permission, I shall start the ritual immediately.

Speaker 9 Do it. I will need all of my underlords for the next move.
You are sure this will be an improvement?

Speaker 1 I have no doubt.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 is it true then?

Speaker 1 Have you indeed found the Pathfinder?

Speaker 9 Hmm, they are all but within my grasp. We stormed the gates in one week.

Speaker 1 Then there is no time to lose. Indeed.

Speaker 1 Oh, and one more thing.

Speaker 7 Make sure our guests burn.

Speaker 7 With pleasure.

Speaker 1 A silhouette turns around, revealing them to be a greenish gorilla like Undarian covered covered in fested pustules and boils, with some kind of druidic dretsch wearing a cloak of rags.

Speaker 1 Their gnarly curled claws hold up a rod set with a pulsing fiery opal.

Speaker 1 A fanged smile comes across their face and they pound the rod on the ground and the pool of fire transforms into floating flames lighting the entire den.

Speaker 1 A horde of dretsches surround you, snarling, clad in blue-gray armor. The pool behind the dretsch druid now bubbles with black oil, and a single demonic horn is curiously poking out from the crew.

Speaker 1 Let the ritual of resurrection begin.

Speaker 1 Everyone, go ahead and uh. Sorry, wrong room.
We were looking for the bathroom. Yeah, is that that's down the hallway, isn't it?

Speaker 7 Actually, I meant to take the other path.

Speaker 1 That is our bad. So sorry to interrupt.
Yeah, we'll jeez. We'll be going.
Bye. See you later, okay? Why don't you roll me uh what do we call it?

Speaker 1 Initiative, and we'll see if uh you're able to say that before they're able to act.

Speaker 1 While we're all initiative, since we don't have the pleasure of listening to our voice actors while we're playing, did that voice in the pool sound like Wesserface in Furnace? Infrared. Inferno.

Speaker 1 In the yes. Okay.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I rolled a 24. 11.

Speaker 1 21. That would be a four.

Speaker 1 So before we really get into any decision-making, combat, or whatever it is you guys decide, I'm going to read a little bit of description of the room and let you know about what's going on.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Cool.
Okay. So this room reeks of rotting flesh and moldy sewage.
There's a large ceremonial pool that overflows with boiling crude oil.

Speaker 1 There's a demonic horn sticking out from the large pool and two small pools in the corners with a drain gate on the far side.

Speaker 1 There's rotting support beams that crack menacingly in piles of rocks and piles of bones. Okay,

Speaker 1 this ceremonial pool, is it like elevated like a birdhouse or a bird bath or is it in the ground?

Speaker 1 No, it's in the ground and that's where that druidic, I'm going to refer to it as the druidic dretch, like that one that was talking to the pool.

Speaker 1 That's where that one is situated, and it appears to be performing some kind of ritual.

Speaker 1 Metagame-wise, I've started a timer, and as time progresses, that druid is like trying to, it appears they're trying to do something at that pool.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're just describing Six Flags Fiesta, Texas. Where's the Iron Rattler?

Speaker 1 I went there. I went there.

Speaker 7 Okay, sorry. As our timer's going, our timer's going.

Speaker 1 San Antonio sucks.

Speaker 1 And the other two pools are just like chilling off to the side. Yeah, on the I mean, I don't know if I'd say chilling, but they are to the side, to the left and the right when you enter.

Speaker 1 And did you give us a number of how many other dredges there are that are not the druid ones? Oh, I did not, but there are eight. Okay, that's manageable.

Speaker 1 How far am I from the one summoning Gunther? From the bottom of the stairs where you enter to that pool is probably about 40 feet more or less.

Speaker 1 Okay, Gunther is going to run forward, jump, and then mid-air, cast Misty Step. Whoa.

Speaker 1 So that he lands with his sword onto the guy casting or summoning. That's pretty sick.
Okay, FYI, there are those other eight dretches as well that are between you and that druidic dretch. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 So I'm assuming you want to, like, just run a little bit.

Speaker 1 avoid any attacks of opportunity and then try to jump in misty step yeah pass around them avoiding the attacks of opportunity to get to the druidic dretch i just want to make sure exactly i'm understanding correctly okay yeah what's the range on misty step is it like 30 feet or something?

Speaker 1 It is. Misty Step, briefly surrounded by silvery mist, you teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space you can see.
Woo! Yeah, I don't see why not. That should absolutely work.

Speaker 1 So yeah, you take, you know, five or ten feet of movement up ahead. Then I think the dretches, the armored dretches, they think they're gonna be able to attack you.

Speaker 1 They look at you menacingly, and then you jump up and disappear, reappearing behind them all by the giant boiling pit where the druidic dretch is, and you attempt to strike at him.

Speaker 1 Is he holding anything, this creature? He's holding a rod set with a pulsing fiery opal. Okay, well first I will attack.
Does an 18 hit? Yes, an 18 does hit.

Speaker 1 As I stab down, I want to use a superiority dice to use a disarming attack. When you hit a creature with an attack roll, I can attempt to disarm the target.

Speaker 1 Add the superiority dight roll to the attack's damage roll, and the target must succeed on a strength saving throw or drop one object of your choice that it's holding.

Speaker 1 Oh, Gunther's learned his lessons.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Go ahead and get that roll.
You use your superiority die, you said, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's 13 damage. Okay, and I have to make a strength saving throw, you said? Mm-hmm.
What's the DC on it? It doesn't say a number. Okay, we'll roll and see what it is.

Speaker 1 Is it a counter roll against me? It's an inferiority die.

Speaker 1 No, it's just a saving throw. It's not an opposed roll.
It doesn't matter. I rolled a three, which is probably not enough for whatever your check is.
So what item...

Speaker 1 I have no idea what item you're going to choose what item do you choose for uh this druidic dretch to drop whatever that thing that that you said it was holding something kind of glowing or whatever a rod with a fiery opal that would be it yeah that one using the who who taught you this lesson do you remember yeah

Speaker 1 it was toad uh renesus renesus renesus you uh you remember renesus teaching you this lesson and you focus your weapon on the hand of this druidic dretch and use the leverage to force the rod with the fiery opal out of its hand and it clatters to the ground at the druidic dretch's feet.

Speaker 1 Noise. I do have a second attack.
For my second attack, can I try and kick the thing towards my party? Is that an option? You can. I will warn you, those eight dretches are between you and the party.

Speaker 1 So even if you kick it in the direction of your party, there's no guarantee it's going to get to them. Then

Speaker 1 I guess picking up an item is a free action, right? Well, in this case, we'll say it's an action because this is kind of important here. Oh, wait.
So you attacked, which is an action.

Speaker 1 You can attack again as part of that action, but you can't take another action. I'm going to say you don't have another action.
I'm inclined to give it to you.

Speaker 1 I'm looking for a way to make it happen, but I think you're out of actions. Okay.
Then can I just use my action to kick the thing?

Speaker 1 No, but you're out of actions. Well, I guess like an attack against the

Speaker 1 action.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we could call it an attack on the item, but we'll say like an unarmed attack on the item yeah i'm trying to put push it away you know in what direction i'll kick it west let's say you're gonna kick it east to the west there's like a little pile of rocks it's not it's probably not that important but we'll say you're kicking it to the east just because it's a little more clear in that direction yeah make a like an unarmed attack on it just to see if you're able to to to hit it

Speaker 1 a 13. Yeah, we'll say you're able to make contact with it at that point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So make it roll a d6 just to see how strong you're able to hit it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's a thing like where you wind up a really mighty kick, but most of the force goes over the rod and you barely get a little glancing blow on it.
And it skitters a little bit.

Speaker 1 It moves about five feet to the. It's basically Charlie Brown.
Get the

Speaker 1 rod. I have made it very easy to get.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like Lucy was holding the football and pulled it, and Gunther takes a big swinging kick and misses it.

Speaker 7 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 All right, and that is my turn. All right.
that's it for Gunther. After Gunther is dug, then some enemies, then toll.

Speaker 7 Is anyone really hurt right now? What's everyone doing?

Speaker 1 You trying to just do some support?

Speaker 7 I want support.

Speaker 1 Good. Now, meta-wise, I barely got any damage taken from you.

Speaker 1 Okay. Do you have mage hand? Uh,

Speaker 1 do I have mage hand?

Speaker 7 That's negative.

Speaker 1 Speaking of mages, that one took damage. You can heal them.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, there's one of us who is flying that's very true it's not me could i just cast that firebolt that i wanted to cast last time absolutely i can i just cast can i just cast this firebolt you can touch that dog can i touch that dog can i bet that dog um which

Speaker 7 i guess is the the dredge closest to me It would be one of the armored dredgees.

Speaker 1 They look very similar to the ones you fought that were in the minecart previously.

Speaker 7 Okay, I will shoot the one closest to me then.

Speaker 1 All right, go ahead and...

Speaker 1 Let's say he has a mustache, so he's a little different from the other ones.

Speaker 7 Okay. I'll shoot the mustachio Drench.

Speaker 1 Secretly, in Drench Society, all the others are very jealous of this mustache. Yeah, they are.

Speaker 7 He can grow facial hair, they can't. Does a 16 hit?

Speaker 1 Yes, a 16 hit.

Speaker 7 Excellent.

Speaker 7 And then that will do 2d10, fire damage.

Speaker 1 Yuck. Four.
Total? Yeah.

Speaker 7 I rolled a one and a three on my 2d10s.

Speaker 1 Armor.

Speaker 7 But.

Speaker 7 Gambots here.

Speaker 1 Show me the Gambot. Gambot.
This classic entrance catchphrase. Gambot's here.

Speaker 7 And he

Speaker 7 is, I guess, gonna go after me because I'm done my turn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Could he do roll up to the same guy

Speaker 7 and the mustachioed fella and do a force empowered rend?

Speaker 1 Ooh, that sounds ouchy.

Speaker 7 A 19 that hits.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that hits.

Speaker 7 And then 1d8 plus 3 force damage.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 7 Come on, Gambot. Six points of damage.

Speaker 1 Dang, it's Gambot.

Speaker 7 Right up in the jaw.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 is it in the jaw? Gambot, for some reason, I think a lot, because of the size, I think a lot of he goes up and hits people in the shins, and they're just like, ow.

Speaker 1 Like a crotch. Yeah.
He crits, it's the crotch. He definitely is crotch height at full extension.

Speaker 1 Gambot extends.

Speaker 1 What kind of rend was that?

Speaker 7 Say

Speaker 7 a force-empowered rend.

Speaker 1 Force-empowered rend

Speaker 1 right into the nether regions of the mustachio dretch.

Speaker 7 Although, I will say, I imagine these dretches are kind of like a little hunched over, kind of gremlin-y. So I think it would hit him in the chin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
Let's go for the crush. Okay.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Yeah, for sure, for sure.
It's Barbara's character, she gets to make the call

Speaker 1 right into the chin.

Speaker 7 Although hitting him in the crush and him going, Mama Mamia, would also be a very funny moment.

Speaker 1 Gambot hits him in the jaw, and

Speaker 1 he becomes stiff as a board and falls over backwards, unmoving on the ground.

Speaker 7 And then Gambot celebrates by going,

Speaker 1 like bouncing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so that's one of them. Is there anything else you can do there, Doug?

Speaker 7 I think that will be it for me. All right, guys, just one down.

Speaker 1 It is the armored dretch's turn, but before they're able to act, the druidic dretch that's close to you, Gunther, closes his eyes and stretches his arms out and begins panting under his breath in a language you don't understand.

Speaker 1 And behind him, a fiery rune ignites at the edge of the pool.

Speaker 1 A rune ignites at the pool? At the edge of the pool.

Speaker 7 A rune?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, it is the armored dredge's turn, but they've got a target-rich environment.
They've got a frog behind them, three people,

Speaker 1 and a giggy and a gambot in front of them.

Speaker 1 Trying to get the fight gambotton.

Speaker 7 I'm just imagining his head extended and stayed extended, and it's just like dung.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, we're gonna

Speaker 1 split up, I guess. Some of them are gonna go after Gunther, and the rest are gonna go after the party.
We'll deal with three of them, are gonna peel off and go after Gunther first. Smart.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm gonna have fun with this.

Speaker 1 No, no, two of them begin very like almost like an animal, a very uh, what would you say, like in a very feral like state begin slashing and grabbing at you gunther wildly let's see if either of them hit that's gonna hit yeah one of them's a nat 20 that one hit

Speaker 1 gunther huh bummer

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 it was that one gunther hits you for six points of slashing damage and this dretch you know grapples you and drags you to the ground with it

Speaker 1 Cool. The other Dretch that went up there begins like hopping up and down in place.

Speaker 1 and an incredible stink begins emanating from its body. What?

Speaker 7 What's with all the stinks?

Speaker 1 Make me a constitution saving throw, Gunther. Okay.

Speaker 1 14. You try to hold your breath, but a little bit gets in your lungs, and you begin coughing uncontrollably as you're being grappled by this other dretch.

Speaker 1 And I think as Gunther's scratched, he looks down at that gash on his hand that had halved his max HP a while back

Speaker 1 and then like oh

Speaker 1 and just feels it feels the the scratch even more

Speaker 1 it's even worse now okay uh the other four go in the direction of the party down to the south i'm gonna roll a d20 if it's one through ten they'll go after gambot if it's above they're gonna go after the rest of the party what did gambot do yeah just goofing off what did gambot do gambot downed the mustachioed Dretch.

Speaker 1 Cool one. This is a high crime.
Yeah, they rolled a one, so they're going to go after Gambot. Alpha Dretch.

Speaker 1 It's just smiling because it's painted on. He has no other face, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just a decal. They're going to all do one shared attack just because they're all attacking the same way.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 1 How many spare parts you got for Gambot? So much. Enough to build a new one?

Speaker 7 I could build infinite.

Speaker 1 What was that?

Speaker 1 I rolled a one. I rolled a one.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You can't hurt him. He's just so happy.
He's the mascot of the show, Gus. It's Gambot.
Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky.

Speaker 1 All right. I think they're so enraged at the mustache-field dredge falling that they don't know what they're doing.

Speaker 1 They close their eyes and begin splashing and grabbing blindly, but they're just like attacking the air directly in front of them, missing Gambot entirely. Blind raid.

Speaker 1 I like that they Gambot's like bouncing, but like just kind of casually left to right, but just keeps swiping. My God, he's skilled.

Speaker 1 It's like at the end of the matrix when Neo just kind of like steps to the left calmly and steps to the right calmly and then like kind of just bash the agent away like nothing.

Speaker 1 He's starting to believe.

Speaker 1 Give yourself an inspiration, die. That's really good.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 There is no spoon.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up is the druidic.
Dretch. It's gonna walk over and pick up its rod because there's only five feet away.
No, wait, no, attack him. Oh, wait, no, I'm Gunther.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're grappled and on the ground now. That's why I'm making this move.
It reclaims its rod and walks back over to the pit.

Speaker 1 Once again, it begins chanting and points the rod at the pit of boiling crude oil. And another fiery rune ignites.

Speaker 7 What happens if all the how many ruins are there?

Speaker 1 There are four more remaining. Oh well.
Okay, well. Summon a little Caesar's $5 hot and ready.

Speaker 7 Light them, light them, light them.

Speaker 1 Light the torches. Metagame-wise, I guess I should tell you, I have a 10-sided die.
I'm moving for a countdown. If you all interfere with the ritual, the count goes up.

Speaker 1 If the ritual's uninterrupted, the count goes down. And when the countdown hits zero, the ritual's complete.
Very dagger heart of you. There's a, yeah, we got mechanics we're working with back here.

Speaker 1 A little peek behind the curtain for everyone. It then turns around, pointing the rod in the direction of the three of you down south by the entrance.
It's ignoring Gunther.

Speaker 1 Begins chanting and waving the rod around. And a fiery mass erupts from the end of the rod, traveling towards you three.
All of you, except for Gunther, make me a dexterity saving throw.

Speaker 1 I've got advantage on that. Form of a gambot.
Squeaking, squeaking, squeaking.

Speaker 7 I rolled a net 20.

Speaker 1 Very nice. 22.
7 and an 11. Oh, thank heaven.
I'm going to die.

Speaker 1 18. Actually, I'm gonna use my inspiration deck.
There you go. I just earned.
I burn them. I burn them.

Speaker 1 Ooh, 19. 19? Okay, all right.
A fiery mass, which you recognize as a fireball, erupts in your midst. But you all are able to dive behind piles of rocks.
And, you know,

Speaker 1 you take some damage, but not all of it. You're able to mitigate the effects of some of the damage.

Speaker 1 So instead of being fully affected by it, you all succeeded on your saving throws, so you take half damage. So each of you take 12 points of fire damage.
Yeah, even with with that, 20.

Speaker 1 Yep, that's half damage.

Speaker 7 Damage, so that's 12.

Speaker 1 How'd we dodge that?

Speaker 7 So it would have been 24.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it would have been 25, but I rounded down for you.

Speaker 7 Wow, what a generous cut.

Speaker 1 I'm a kind-giving DM. The druidic dretch castles with glee.
Next up is Toll, and after Toll, is Natty. All right, shield, holster, gavel, Gaelstrom, two-handed, activated, glutes, engaged.

Speaker 1 I rage.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I'm raging.

Speaker 1 And how far away is the mage for me again? Was it 30 feet, the full? The druidic drech is about 40 feet away. 40 feet.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I want to like walk into the bulk of the enemies, the dretches that are in front of us. You said there was eight there, and I know that some went over to Gunther.

Speaker 1 Three went to Gunther, four are in front of you. I want to get away from Natty and Doug.
but be within the center mass of those guys because I want to use this power that the gavel gives me.

Speaker 1 Uh, is that possible? Yeah, absolutely. So, you want to walk into the middle of them? Yeah, that will provoke some attacks of opportunity.

Speaker 1 Uh, you're moving in, you're not moving through it, was you're moving into it. So, we'll see you can do this.
Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, I'm gonna use the gavel of Gaelstrom two-handed attack.

Speaker 1 Uh, let's actually just see if this hits first and foremost. I guess I'll aim for like if this is like a quadrant, quadrant, uh, top left guy,

Speaker 1 so I'll take a swing at him

Speaker 1 21. Good hit.
Okay. And then I'll do 1d10 plus 3 bludgeoning damage.
Very nice.

Speaker 1 That's a 12. And then I have this thing that I can use once per long rest called Stromstrike.
It might be misspelling. It could be Stormstrike.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 With the strike of your Warhammer, a blustery gale incites a howling rage into all enemies and allies within a 10-foot radius. All creatures within range must take a DC-14 charisma saving throw.

Speaker 1 On a failed save, the creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute. On a successful save, the creature is just knocked prone by the blustery gale.

Speaker 1 The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of its turn. The creature automatically succeeds if it is immune to being charmed.
And then

Speaker 1 it has this thing called blinded by rage. Enraged creatures lose the ability to distinguish friend from foe regarding all creatures it sees as enemies.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I gotta start off with charisma saving throws. Sounds funny.
Okay, what have I done?

Speaker 1 Additionally, a protective gale surrounds the creature, granting them resistance to bludging, piercing, and slashing damage. What have I done? What did I do that for? That's too late now.

Speaker 1 Let's see how it goes.

Speaker 7 What's wrong with it?

Speaker 1 What's wrong with it? I don't want to give them a resistance. Wait, you gave them resistance? That's what it says.
Additionally, a protective gale surrounds the creature.

Speaker 1 Is that the creature being me? It's the enraged creature. Enraged creature.
Yep, yep, yep. It's them.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 At the very least, it's going to make them the enemies of each other, so it'll like distract them from us. So I, I, yeah, it still does the job.
All right, so I'm doing a charisma saving throw.

Speaker 1 What's the DC on it? You're doing a DC 14 charisma saving throw for the four. I'm going to roll them all.
One roll for all of them. Okay.
They have a plus zero, so I need a 14 or better.

Speaker 1 Don't roll that.

Speaker 1 Or do.

Speaker 1 Actually, do. 11.
Sorry. It was my decision, not yours.
I did not roll it. They failed.

Speaker 1 So once again, on a failed save, the creature is knocked prone by the Blustery Gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute.

Speaker 1 Okay, so they're now, it's just that one creature that got hit is prone, right? All four of them, because they're within a 10-foot range. Nice.

Speaker 1 Wow, okay, so all four of them are now prone and enraged.

Speaker 7 Super cool.

Speaker 1 So now you can keep running past them, right? Yeah. You open up a lane.
Oh, I also have plus two melee damage because I'm raging.

Speaker 1 So I guess on that first guy, so that was like what? A 12, so plus two, so 14 on that top left guy. Got it.
All right. Writing it down.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Toll spins around, enraging all the enemies and forcing them to the ground. They're just kind of rolling around now at this point.
At your feet, Toll.

Speaker 1 That one guy didn't die. He's he's still up and he's he's fine.
He is still up for the moment. Okay.
Well, he's down, but you know what I mean. You knocked him down.
You knocked him prone. For sure.

Speaker 1 And then I am going to use my second attack. I'm going to avoid these guys.
These guys are knocked down. Time is of the essence.
I need to make it to the mage. So I think.
Druid. Druid.

Speaker 1 That's totally what I said. And instead of attacking anybody, I guess I'm just going to...
Can I double speed to get to them?

Speaker 1 Actually, no, I have walking speed of 40 feet, so I'm just going to go up and knock that guy. Power walk, yeah.
Do it. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Chip Haney. Here he comes.
Channel the chip.

Speaker 1 Okay, cool. Yeah, so you do this, then continue your walk and do your second attack over there on the druidic threat.
I would like to, if that is possible, Your Honor. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just clarifying that that's what you're doing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Then I'm going to roll.

Speaker 1 That is a...

Speaker 1 11. That does not hit.
You sure about that? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, you...
I give you my inspiration die. Chris gives me his inspiration die.
Gunther, what do you say to 12 to inspire him?

Speaker 1 I don't want to die.

Speaker 7 Wow, inspiring.

Speaker 1 It wasn't inspiring enough. That's an eight.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. That's even worse.
That's still a miss.

Speaker 7 Dus, do you want to give him your inspiration die?

Speaker 1 Dus, come on, please. I forgot.
Maybe I'll use mine this combat. No, I'm not sharing mine.

Speaker 1 That's it for Toll. Next up is Natty, and then we go back to Gunther at the top of the initiative.

Speaker 1 Natty puts out her palms out to the side, upwards, and like Magneto lifts up off the ground and just floats towards the druid, out of reach, I would assume, of any of the other dredges that are standing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, the four closest to you are all on the ground, prone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 One of the other ones by the druid is currently grappled with Gunther on the ground, which leaves two of them when you're able to float over them out of range of attack of opportunity. Cool.

Speaker 1 Natty's going to

Speaker 1 square her hands then straight towards the druid and do some eldritch blast in hope of breaking his concentration. All right, roll that beautiful beam footage.

Speaker 1 First one is a gnat. 20.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Beautiful.
That is the hit. So that'll be a d10 plus 4.
And then what do I get? Another, like a, like, I get 10. You get a full like crit dice.
Like, so the...

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 So 3 plus... Four is seven, plus 10 is 17.

Speaker 1 17. Ouch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it strikes the druidic dretch who winces and kind of nurses uh his arm where he's hit but he is still standing and glares at you well natty glares back oh oh oh and goes don't glare at a lady and uh does another eldritch blast at him

Speaker 1 13 plus seven so dirty 20 yes that hits

Speaker 1 plus four

Speaker 1 is 11. oh wait i did forget that I have agonizing blast, which means when you cast Eldritch Blast, you add plus four to the damage it deals on hit.

Speaker 1 So it's 11 force damage, and then add another eight total to him for that agonizing blast that I did twice. Okay, the druidic dretch doubles over in pain, but is still standing.

Speaker 1 Now he's kind of propping himself up with that rod.

Speaker 1 He's struggling to stand, but he is still there. Well, from behind Maddie's wig, you see a pair of eyes peek out.

Speaker 1 And Gigi lunges down towards the druid and tries to rend him.

Speaker 1 And that's a 13 plus 5, 18. Whoop, whoop.
Yeah, that does hit. Gigi's rend is a D4.

Speaker 1 It's two

Speaker 1 plus three. So five slashing damage.
And the target has the poison condition. So start Gigi's next turn.

Speaker 1 Alright, yeah, the Druidic Dretch clutches at its chest and stumbles, seemingly unable to keep its feet.

Speaker 1 Stumbles forward a step, and then stumbles backwards and falls into the pool of boiling crude oil.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then another face peeks out from behind Natty's wig and it's a pirate and he's sad that he didn't get to health.

Speaker 1 It's a carrying capacity of Natty's wig.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's industrial strength. Naddy, make me a perception check.
Love to.

Speaker 1 My perception is plus three, so 14.

Speaker 1 You see a hand reach out from the pool and grasp onto the edge of the ground, and you recognize it as the druidic dretch's hand, and it pulls itself up out of the pool.

Speaker 7 Is that what the horn also was?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the horn is in that pool. Glares at you and smiles a disgusting, jagged, toothy smile.
Nanny just tries to kick him down under the water more.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 She's just taking her boot, and she's like, no,

Speaker 1 you're done. You're done.
The druidic dretch pulls itself out of the pool,

Speaker 1 ready for more.

Speaker 1 I can do this all day.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, that's the end of my turn. It's a good turn.
Yeah, you did a lot, Natty. But we are back up to the top of the initiative, and it's Gunther's turn.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I got the one that's got me grappled. Can I try to attack that one? Oh, I think you can.
Yeah. You have disadvantage on attack rolls against any target other than the grappler.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You are correct. Yeah, so you can.
Then I shall.

Speaker 1 Nat 20 for 28. Beautiful.
Wow. Yeah, you're able to, you know, in close in, I don't know how, manage to get your rapier around and poke the grappler.
So how does that work with rolling?

Speaker 1 Oh, and then I'll take a look. That's right, it's critical.
Let me take a look at it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because D ⁇ D Beyond automatically adds a second one, but we homebrewed it so that one of the die is maximum. So it'll be

Speaker 1 with actually 18 points of damage.

Speaker 1 And then, is it still up? Yes. Yeah, you're able to stab it with the rapier, and it's significantly hurt, but it is still holding on to you.
And it's still holding on.

Speaker 1 Okay, then I want to make it a use of superiority dice to make it a menacing attack, which I add my superiority die to the damage roll, and they have to make a wisdom saving throw DC-16 on a failure.

Speaker 1 It's frightened of me. Okay, let me roll that first of all, just to get that out of the way.
It's a DC-16 wisdom. And it'll be an additional...

Speaker 1 I rolled the two of my damage, but I have that. I can re-roll one dice, damage dice per attack.
Puncture. So, yeah, puncture.

Speaker 1 Once per turn, when you hit a creature with an attack that deals piercing damage, you can re-roll one of the attack's damage dice, and you must use the new roll.

Speaker 1 It's a two, and it's a two either way, so it doesn't matter. So it does two extra damage.

Speaker 1 Okay, and I rolled a 17 on the wisdom saving to, which succeeds, but that's irrelevant because with your additional damage, the armored dretch loses its grip on you and falls unmoved.

Speaker 1 Now, is the whatever emperor or whatever guy summoning thing, is he still around? Is he within reach of me? Yeah, he's probably like five feet away.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm going to use my second attack to attack him. From the ground.
Oh, I was grappled, right? Yes. On the ground? Yeah.
So I'll tell you this.

Speaker 1 I didn't say it explicitly because I thought it was understood with the grapple. When you started coughing as well, when that

Speaker 1 smell got in your lungs,

Speaker 1 that would have made you prone. I didn't say it because I assumed you were prone already because of the grapple.

Speaker 1 i probably should have explicitly said it so that the prone wasn't understood but that that did put you on the ground if nothing else okay stand in your badge gus

Speaker 1 so then can i stand up and attack within that reach yeah so you're able to use half and the half your movement and then you're able you're able to stand up and you can make that attack because within five feet i mean that's pretty much there okay and then i'm gonna run and attack the uh what's my

Speaker 1 no need to run i'm right next to you

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 and it's very crisp to run everywhere but this person is only five feet away

Speaker 1 all right 15. that is a miss all right i'm using another superiority die

Speaker 1 to can use multiples like that precision attack when you make a weapon attack roll you can spend one superiority die to add to the roll before after the roll okay so i'm gonna add another eight does a 19 hit a 19 does hit all right so now

Speaker 1 It's gonna be a 16 damage.

Speaker 7 Nice. That's a lot of damage.

Speaker 1 Can you run the five feet forward and attack the druidic threats, doing 19 points of damage. It is still standing, but he winces in pain.
All right. I use my final superiority die

Speaker 1 to do disarming attack once again. And I add the eight damage as well.
Okay. And I got to make a...
Was it a strength save? Strength saving throw.

Speaker 1 And I rolled an eight, so it's another eight damage. And just for reference, the DC on that is 16, Michael told him.

Speaker 7 No, Gus, you knew that off by heart.

Speaker 1 Always say you just knew it.

Speaker 1 Off by heart. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I've got... I don't have an incredibly helpful team helping me out every step of the way that we're doing this.

Speaker 7 No, no, no, no. It's all you.

Speaker 1 No, it's all me. I rolled a 17.
So I think this time the Druidic Dretch knows your game, Gunther.

Speaker 1 And puts two hands on the rod and holds onto it firmly and is able to... uh hold on to the rod despite your best effort to disarm him

Speaker 1 clever but he still takes an extra eight damage. Yes, I have written that down.
All right, anything else? Any more superiority? Die, you want to throw it in, gun 30? No, I'm out.

Speaker 1 That was impressive. That was a great turn.
You and Natty back-to-back, great turns there. That's it.
All right.

Speaker 1 Next up should be Doug, but once again, the druidic dretch grasps onto the rod, pulls it close to his body, and then raises it in the air, chanting, and another rune illuminates around the pool. Cool.

Speaker 1 So that's three.

Speaker 7 That much closer to our hot and fresh, ready pizza.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. Doug, you are up.
It is. It's like the little domino tracker.
Yeah. Like, wow, preparing your

Speaker 1 quality. Yeah.
Dretch is cooking your pizza.

Speaker 1 And our bone. That may be one of the best features ever was just that little thing because he's like, yep, it's on its way.

Speaker 5 It's on its way.

Speaker 1 It's all a lie, though. Cause if it's totally someone ordered like a two-liter Coca-Cola and it was like, cooking your thing, and it was like, better not be.

Speaker 1 I don't mean to interrupt you, Barbara, but years ago when we were doing RT podcasts down at the studio down south, we were in the area we called the Annex, and we would order pizza sometimes from delivery places before the podcast.

Speaker 1 And we thought it would be fun to like have a celebration for the driver when he showed up. So we put up like party celebration stuff.

Speaker 1 Like when he got there, he walked in the door. We were like, yay! The pizza's here.
Like everyone was like super excited.

Speaker 1 And then the driver was like, how did you know it was my birthday?

Speaker 1 We were like, we didn't. It's just a happy coincidence.

Speaker 7 It's meant to be. Some things in life happen as they're meant to happen, just like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
I'm sorry, Barbara. It is Doug's turn.
Then after Doug is some armored dretches.

Speaker 7 I think Doug would want to see what's up with this horn that's in this pool. Is there any way that he could go over there to like try to pull it up?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could go over in that direction. The armored dretches that were, that would have had an attack opportunity on you are currently prone in front of you, so you're able to walk around them.

Speaker 7 Oh, excuse me, sorry. Oh, pardon me.

Speaker 1 You walk up to the pool of bubbling, boiling, crude oil, Texas tea.

Speaker 1 And you try to take a look at that horn. What do you want to, like an investigation check or something?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I'll take an investigative look at this thing.

Speaker 1 Look.

Speaker 7 Well, that's a seven. I don't have any inspiration to die.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you take a look at it, and you see that there's other stuff floating in the pool besides the horn.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't really tell anything about the horn specifically, but you see maybe like rocks and pieces of wood also in that boiling oil.

Speaker 7 So, it seems like maybe this is just like debris, like nothing, maybe nothing special.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe a really bad soup or stew of some sort.

Speaker 7 Could I try to reach in and grab it out? Like, not actually put my hand in the water, but just like grab the tip that's hanging, like, coming out?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm gonna make you make a dexterity check, though, just to see, like,

Speaker 1 I picture it to like when you're you're boiling pasta, like boiling spaghetti, and you want to get like one piece out to test it, and you're like, don't touch the boiling hot water.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, so late let's see if uh if you if you burn your hand i probably will

Speaker 7 oh 18.

Speaker 1 oh okay yeah you're able to uh latch onto the the tip of the horn and yank on it and pull it free i know and what you want to try to take a look at it again you said yeah i just want to see like what it is okay yeah you you start pulling on it and it ends up being way heavier than you expect make me a strength check now that you've made that dexterity check also just want to confirm is this like helmet horn or like playing horn?

Speaker 7 Like instrument horn?

Speaker 1 Ah, like rhinoceros horn. Important distinction.
Or trumpet. Oh, please be trumpet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a animal horn.
Animal horn. Like it's in that.

Speaker 1 Like a curved kind of. Okay.
So an animal playing a trumpet.

Speaker 1 It's just a trombone that's been sticking out of this pool the whole time.

Speaker 1 And he said a strength check. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 20. Yeah.
I have no modifiers on my strength. You're still strong.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You gingerly reach out and grab the tip of the horn and pull, and it's much heavier than you expect.

Speaker 1 And as you begin pulling on it, you start to see the little top of a demonic head that is attached to

Speaker 7 Doug will immediately drop it back into the water.

Speaker 7 Oh, God, never mind.

Speaker 1 The crude oil.

Speaker 1 Liquid.

Speaker 1 It's attached to a head of some kind.

Speaker 7 That's gross. I'm scarred for life.

Speaker 1 My friend Moose who's looking for Lulan in the avalanche and pulls up, and it's just an angry hun. He's like, nope, and he puts it back down.

Speaker 1 I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 I guess then could I finish up my turn by casting detect thoughts on this druid?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I want to read thoughts.
And I can read that for you if you want me to.

Speaker 1 But yeah, why don't you read it out loud just to be safe for any listeners as well?

Speaker 7 Target one creature you could see within 30 feet of yourself to do the sense thoughts option. You learn what is most on the target's mind right now.

Speaker 7 If the target doesn't know any languages and isn't telepathic, you learn nothing. Oh, so maybe I have to sense thoughts then, because I doubt he's telepathic.

Speaker 1 Eggs, 2% milk, toilet paper. No, he's like, I hope my pizza's coming soon.

Speaker 1 You can do this. It's if the target doesn't know language and isn't telepathic.
Okay. So if both of those conditions are met, it's not a matter of either or.
Yeah. Either or.
Okay, cool.

Speaker 1 Then I will try to read thoughts. And what's most on its mind? You reach out and try to read the thoughts of the druidic stretch,

Speaker 1 and you hear chanting in a language you don't understand, but you also hear the thought, must

Speaker 1 complete the ritual.

Speaker 1 Must complete the ritual.

Speaker 7 And I don't understand. Could I at least tell what language the other thoughts are in?

Speaker 1 It's some kind of demonic language that you're not familiar with. It sounds abyssal, but maybe not abyssal exactly.
Okay. You hear one word, just Bazoozoo.

Speaker 7 And that will be it.

Speaker 1 I have had that Michael Jackson song stuck in my head ever since you made that joke, Blade. I just want to say, like, I said, you, you, like, earwormed it right in.

Speaker 1 That is an earworm. That is a good definition of an earworm.
And it's just that, that, that, it's not even the chorus of the song. It's like whatever, a refrain at the end or something.

Speaker 5 Mm-hmm. That's it for my turn.

Speaker 1 All right. That is it for

Speaker 1 Doug.

Speaker 1 It is the Armored Dretch's turn, man. Those four down south.
We're going to deal with them first because that's the funniest to me.

Speaker 1 They're rolling around enraged, and they're immune to like slashing and piercing damage. Resistant.
They are.

Speaker 1 Protective gale surrounds the creature, granting them resistance to bludging, piercing, and slashing damage.

Speaker 7 All right, anybody got some lightning or fire and thunder?

Speaker 1 Well, they're all enraged and they're all closest to each other, so I figure they're just like all slashing at each other, rolling around on the ground. daddy throws them a bunch of pillows

Speaker 1 it's like the the the most disturbed it's just a mess of claws and teeth down there to put it mildly

Speaker 1 they call that a mosh pit giggy get in there yeah giggy's like come on come on nanny's like holding them back with her leash nope

Speaker 1 making some rolls for fun

Speaker 1 Okay, after they're done rolling around, slashing and attacking each other, a couple of them are left unmoving, but a couple of them are still rolling around.

Speaker 1 So, and well, they'll stand at that that point. There are two of them standing now, and two of them that are unmoving.
And they called each other

Speaker 1 tryouts. Okay, and then now we're left with the ones up here.
Gunther, you killed the one that was grappling you. Oh, and they have to repeat their saving throw at the end of their turn.

Speaker 1 Uh, let me do that again. What's that saving throw told? DC14 for his ma.

Speaker 1 Oh, I rolled a 14. Uh, yeah, so they break free.
They have zero, so they got a 14. They are no longer affected by that effect.
But now they're stunned because they killed their comrades. Oh,

Speaker 1 they look at their hands in the blood. Yeah, and Mr.
Mustache is gone. It's the worst day of their lives.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad you ran with that.

Speaker 1 So we're left with the two up here by Gunther and Toll. One of them begins emitting a foul stench from all of its pores in its mouth.
Gunther and Toll make me constitution saving throws.

Speaker 1 You got it, dude.

Speaker 1 16.

Speaker 1 11. Okay.
It's a DC 11, so you barely got it, gunpowder.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the two of you try to hold your breath, but you're just surrounded by these fumes, and eventually you have to take a breath, and

Speaker 1 the smell enters your lungs, which makes you start coughing, and both of you fall to the ground prone.

Speaker 1 I mean, technically, Tolk can hold his breath under water, but. I'm going to roll with it.
You're right. I'm all prone.
Look at me go. Thanks for being a good sport there, Tol.

Speaker 1 Here's some inspiration back.

Speaker 1 Now use it to re-roll.

Speaker 1 It's after the fact. We're going along with the DM.

Speaker 1 I'm going to reward that. Wait, so what would have happened if we'd failed? You fall to the ground and you're poisoned.
Oh, I'll take that. I'll take a prone.
Okay, that's one of them.

Speaker 1 The other one is going to attack Gunther, just slashing wildly with his claws.

Speaker 7 These things are no joke.

Speaker 1 We got four down. Three, three.
It rolls 12, which I assume is miss. Gunther, you've got goodies.
That is a miss. You're prone, so it has advantage.

Speaker 1 Gambot killed one, and then Gunther killed one. Oh, four down then.
Yeah, and then the two killed each other. Oh, you're right.

Speaker 1 I forgot to mark the Gambot one, so there's only one down to the south in that picture.

Speaker 7 How dare you! He worked hard on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're trying to take away Gambot's murder.

Speaker 7 He does a thing like the mayor in Nightmare Before Christmas, where his head turns around and it's a sad face.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's sad.

Speaker 1 Your favorite character from Nightmare Before Christmas.

Speaker 1 So that's an 11, which is also a miss. So there's only one down to the south and two up here.
And even though you're prone, this one misses you, Gunther.

Speaker 1 V-frog. And then falls in the boiling oil pool.
It worked out well for the druid. Yeah.
Speaking of the druid, it's its turn.

Speaker 1 It once again turns to look at the pool. He's poisoned.
Metagame-wise, he's immune to poisoning. Oh,

Speaker 1 well, so is Kiki. So, you know.

Speaker 1 He turns to look at the pool and points the rod at the pool, chants something in abyssal, and another rune illuminates.

Speaker 1 Two left. It's self-delivery.

Speaker 1 Is it approaching my neighborhood yet?

Speaker 1 Then he turns to face you all, aims his rod down low, and then raises it from the ground up to the sky. And you hear in a guttural voice, he just says, Rise!

Speaker 1 Rise from your grave! Love that game.

Speaker 1 Gus gets it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Altered beast. Love that game.
That's what I was thinking of.

Speaker 1 And two of those armored dretches that were out of commission near him rise from the ground and rejoin the fight. Oh, necromancy.
So there are now four up by him and then one down to the south.

Speaker 1 Wait, I take it back. There was not four.
There was only one by him to begin with. One there and then one to the south.
Right. There's three by him and two to the south.

Speaker 7 There's so many of these guys.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's it for the druid's turn, which means it's told and then natty. Yoo-hoo.
Okay. I don't like this druid, so I'm gonna make an attack on them with the gavel of gales.
Smart move.

Speaker 1 So that is a 19 plus 625.

Speaker 1 25 that connects. Big damage.
Two handed attack.

Speaker 1 No whammies. Three plus three.
Six plus the two because I'm raging. Eight.
Eight. All right.
You bring your gavel around, striking the druidic dread for eight points of damage. Ouch.
Woo-hoo.

Speaker 1 And then I have a bonus action that I'd like to use. It's the storm Aura.
You gain a 10-foot aura effect when you start your rage, and there's a bonus action on each of your turns when activated.

Speaker 1 One creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage. It's a dexterity DC 14, half damage on success, full save.

Speaker 1 You said it was a 14? Correct. I rolled an 11 and I have a plus two, so that's a 13, so that's a failure.

Speaker 1 So sorry, sir. And then, let me see, that's a third level 1d6.
Alright, so I'm gonna roll my 1d6, see how much damage it takes?

Speaker 1 Watch.

Speaker 1 Four points of lightning damage. Four lightning.
I don't think I'm immune to that. Let me double check.
I'm pretty sure you're not. I don't think so.
Yeah, I talked to Mike earlier about it.

Speaker 1 He said no. Yeah, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, four points of lightning. Got it.
That's legit. Cool.
And then I'm going to keep attacking because he needs to stop those runes. Another swipe with the gavel of Gaelstrom.

Speaker 1 All right, make that attack roll. Hasha sha.
That's a

Speaker 1 16. That's exactly what you need.
16 is a a hit.

Speaker 1 I'll take it. All right, and then that's a 1v10.
Rolling that

Speaker 1 not my best. Seven plus two from rage nine.
You strike the druidic threat who drops to one knee near the edge of the pool, supporting himself with the rod.

Speaker 1 He looks at you, tries to mouth something tall, but is unable to get it out, and falls face down on the edge of the pool.

Speaker 1 Releasing the rod, which begins rolling over towards the edge of the pool, about to fall in. He whispered, will you bury me?

Speaker 1 Can we go to and grab it? Yeah, can we try and grab it? I got some

Speaker 1 distance that I can travel, so I'll go for it. Yeah, why don't you make me a

Speaker 1 Tolf, since you're right there, why don't you make me a dexterity check to see if you're able to grab it before it falls in?

Speaker 1 That is a 15.

Speaker 1 You reach out and grab it, and just as the rod is about to roll into the pool, you get your fingers on it and roll it away from the edge and get it into your hand.

Speaker 1 And to celebrate, Tolf spikes it into the

Speaker 1 pool.

Speaker 1 you go to spike it and celebrate and you're immediately surrounded by dread just who begin trying to grapple each other. Give me

Speaker 1 three grapple checks. Wait, actually? Yeah, they're alive still.
Oh, it's a Zac.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you can oppose with strength or dexterity. I'm gonna do dexterity because I have advantage.
Okay, roll me three. Okay.
It's a nat 20 for one.

Speaker 7 Check, not save, no advantage.

Speaker 1 I'll take your first three rolls. Check, not save.
Got it. Alright, so.

Speaker 1 I rolled a 7, a 3, and a 4, so I think you're probably okay.

Speaker 1 So I got it. I got a 21.

Speaker 1 I got a...

Speaker 1 What was this? 12.

Speaker 1 I might re-roll that with my Inspo. I got an 18.
You're good. He just said his numbers.
You beat all his numbers. Okay, sorry.
I can't do math like Gus can. I'm not that good.

Speaker 1 7, 3, 4.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Gretchen's begin trying to swarm you and and grapple you, but you use your might to push them away and shove them to the ground.

Speaker 1 And make me a perception checkpoint. Okay.

Speaker 1 Sorry, it took me that long to find where perception is. It's always the one that's hidden away.
That's a

Speaker 1 17. It's hidden in that alphabetical order of your checks.
It's alphabetical? Yes. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Guys, did you know? Who are you going to tell me?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That's incredible.

Speaker 1 This is is our job. Incredible.
As you shove the dretcher to the ground, something catches your eye in the western pile of rocks by

Speaker 1 the pool. A glinting blue-gray metal.
It's not just a piece of metal, though, it looks like a head.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh,

Speaker 1 Neo's head.

Speaker 7 I thought Tio was the head.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 find out what it is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 1 He sat there the whole time, not saying nothing? Brother! Maybe we'll find out why. All right.
Well, thanks for listening, everybody.

Speaker 1 We had a very productive episode. Lots of combat, lots going on.
Everyone get to use their abilities.

Speaker 1 I look forward to talking all about this in our next episode of Second Wind, which is available for patrons over at stinkydragonpod.com. Until next time, stay stinky.
Salutations, stinkers.

Speaker 1 It's me, Micah Reisinger, and I'm here to tell you about a tavern tale. That's right, Meal Walker's the one-eyed GM'd is all out now.
All episodes are available at stinkydragonpod.com.

Speaker 1 Don't fret if you haven't checked it out yet, episode zero is still available for free to the public.

Speaker 1 So if you want to listen to that and you want to listen to more, episodes one and two, you got to go to stinkydragonpod.com.

Speaker 1 Become a patron, get access to all our tavern Tales, not just mine, all the other ones too, like C-Squad, all that's good stuff.

Speaker 1 Anyways, new episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.

Speaker 1 Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free? No commercials? You can support us by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or join us as a member on beacon.tv.

Speaker 1 Both give you early, ad-free access and a members-only Discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks?

Speaker 1 Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show, just like Roman Sage.

Speaker 1 This one's gonna be fun. Gleich Gewicht.
I totally got that right. Gleich Gewicht, maybe? I don't know.
Cody Williams, Ash Battelle, Nicholas Newton, Kayaking Chef, Alia Scan Gold, Caboose45.

Speaker 1 These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Win and Behind the Screen, and other stinky perks.

Speaker 1 Once again, that's stinkydragonpod.com. We are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possibly.

Speaker 1 Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, like Dretch Druid, voiced by Quentin Smith. Find them at twitch.tv/slash quicks.
18. That's Q-U-I-X-1-8.

Speaker 1 Infernus, voiced by Laurel Rothamel, at Laurel Rothamel.

Speaker 1 This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Bennerst and Micah Reisinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger, and edited by Alina Likorczyk.

Speaker 1 Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 1 Using the... Who taught you this lesson? Do you remember? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was...

Speaker 1 Hold.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 hold, oh, yeah, hold, hold, hold, hold. Must have been an important lesson, huh?

Speaker 1 Hold, holding my breath, hold, we're holding, we're holding. No, Chris is holding.

Speaker 1 Don't hold too long, don't do that.

Speaker 1 Hold, I got it.

Speaker 1 It is, it is

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 huh, Shoot.

Speaker 1 Yep, yep. Soad

Speaker 1 Renesis.

Speaker 7 Renesis.

Speaker 1 Renesis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want

Speaker 1 the outtake at the end of this episode to be that searching in real time, unedited, just waiting. Well, Gus, that would make our podcast a four-hour runtime.

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