C03 - Ep. 29 - From On Hyra - Wilder Flower Power

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by Ridge. I've always felt that most options I had for wallets were too big, too bulky, or they just didn't hold up.

Speaker 1 But after trying out a Ridge wallet, guys, I am a changed woman. Ridge wallets have a modern and slim design, and somehow they hold up to 12 cards plus cash.

Speaker 1 They're made from premium materials, including aluminum, titanium, and carbon fiber, and come in over 50 colors. I personally have the matte olive one, but I also have my eye on the tie-dye design.

Speaker 1 Let's call him my name, what could I say? Another added plus, Ridge wallets feature RFID blocking technology to protect against digital theft.

Speaker 1 Not only do they make great wallets, they also have key cases, suitcases, air tag attachments for your wallet, and the Ridge Ring. And all Ridge products come with a lifetime warranty.

Speaker 1 For a limited time, our listeners, which is you guys, get 10% off at Ridge by using code STINKY at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use code stinky, and you're all set.

Speaker 1 Once again, that is codestinky at ridge.com. Use it at checkout, and after you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them.

Speaker 1 And it would help us out so much if you told them that we sent you. Thank you, Ridge, for sponsoring this episode.

Speaker 4 All right, remember, the machine knows if you're lying. First statement, Carvana will give you a real offer on your car all online.

Speaker 2 False. True, actually.

Speaker 4 You can sell your car in minutes.

Speaker 1 False? That's gotta be.

Speaker 3 True again. Carvana will pick up your car from your door or you can drop it off at one of their car vending machines.

Speaker 6 Sounds too good to be true.

Speaker 2 So true.

Speaker 5 Finally caught on.

Speaker 3 Nice job. Honesty isn't just their policy.
It's their entire model.

Speaker 4 Sell your car today too.

Speaker 2 Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

Speaker 1 Goldbond knows that when your skin feels good, you feel good. So look after it day and night and make Goldbond Healing Lotion your go-to.

Speaker 1 It's clinically shown to visibly heal and moisturize dry skin in just one use. We all deserve soft, healthy looking skin every day, so choose a trusted brand with proven results.

Speaker 1 Goldbond Healing Lotion. Buy yours now at walmart.com.

Speaker 5 Best wishes, all you brackish trudges. Lumber into the stinky dragon and partake in our latest potation.
Truffle off this moral coil.

Speaker 5 It's a mixture of mycelial mud, a bushel of blightberries, a tusk of toadstools, a steeping of stinkhorn tea bags, and topped with a munching of mulch.

Speaker 5 One pour of this plant-based poro will put you in the path of yeast resistance.

Speaker 5 Previously, our adventurers floundered with with face-obsessed lizards and crept into the cractus to converse with sorcerers. I gotta swallow a lot of spit.

Speaker 5 Gunther gifted his body to a slumber science sorcery and bantered with the bedrock.

Speaker 5 While sleepwalking, the croak folk somehow shoved the crackus to a new location and is now conked out into a confrontation with another deity that demands dedication.

Speaker 5 Draw yourself a drip and let's dive into this dank drama.

Speaker 5 Micah drooled all over his keyboard.

Speaker 5 He's just covered in it right now. I'm never more aware of the saliva in my mouth than when I have to read a long block of text and it's like, oh my God, is it always like this?

Speaker 5 Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales of the Sneak Heat Dragon.
I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorola, and I'm going to hit our four players with a bullet.

Speaker 5 No!

Speaker 5 No!

Speaker 5 The DM has a gun.

Speaker 5 Why is that an ongoing joke in our show? Why is that an ongoing joke? I don't know. It makes me think of...

Speaker 5 Wasn't there like an old meme or an old joke like, oh my God, that baby has a gun.

Speaker 5 Who gave that baby a gun? It's kind of like that, like just an unexpected juxtaposition of American life.

Speaker 5 This week's arrow question is, what bird do you most relate to and why? Everyone go ahead and roll that D20 and let's figure this out. Roll that beautiful

Speaker 5 what out of my brain.

Speaker 1 We spend too much time together.

Speaker 5 Yeah, 20. Oh,

Speaker 5 three,

Speaker 5 17.

Speaker 1 Six.

Speaker 5 All right, so we got 20 from Blaine, 17 from Chris, six from Barbara, and three from John. That'll be our order.
Again, what bird do you most relate to and why? Hi, I'm Block! Lane Gibson.

Speaker 5 It didn't work. I tried to do a joke there.
It didn't work. And I played Tollv, the male Thaumatech barbarian level six.

Speaker 5 Yoohoo. I'm goose stepping in.
It's me, Tolv, and you know, birds.

Speaker 5 I love birds, but the one that I relate the most to is like when you go to one of those children pizza combo arcade places, and you go and they have the stage, and then the curtains open up, and then they have all of the animals, and then they're playing their music instruments.

Speaker 5 And then one goes, It's a small world after all, world, world, world, small, small, small, small.

Speaker 5 And then, and then the fur comes off and then it goes into flames and then you realize that there's a robot underneath and that the children, oh, they scream, they scream from the robot.

Speaker 5 That is, that is the bird I relate to the most is, is the animatronic one. The animatronic bird whose fur lights up in flames.
Yeah, that's me. That's what I relate to, yeah.

Speaker 5 And then a crazy man puts a child inside of your machine, and then their soul is stuck in the machine, and then

Speaker 5 start hunting Josh Hutchinson. Dude, and I don't even want to talk about Five Nights because my nephew is like,

Speaker 5 dude, it has to be a lot of people. Those who have not been forced to watch it with children just now catching up that it's a Five Nights reference.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's our city you're going for, and then you said Josh Hutchinson.

Speaker 5 And I was like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 Because I was saying the video game and I forgot that it got turned into a movie, right?

Speaker 5 Movies.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 5 There's a single. Actually, the trailer looks pretty decent.
So is that one movie per night?

Speaker 5 I'm not going to let it slide, by the way, that you said a bird covered in fur. Do birds have fur? Well, the animatronic ones do, you know.
They're not going to cover those with feathers.

Speaker 5 Do you know how much feathers cost, Gustavo? What are you silly?

Speaker 5 Just find some pigeons.

Speaker 5 Slap that stuff all over your robot. Yeah, that's sanitary to put in a Chuck E.
Cheese.

Speaker 5 All right. Thanks, Tolf.
Appreciate your insight into nightmarish animatronic birds. Welcome.
Who's next? Hi, I'm Chris Demeris, and I play Gunther, the male crook folk fighter, level six.

Speaker 5 First, I want to say, just had the thought, Gus, Gustavo, would you be a goose?

Speaker 5 And then... Ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 5 Honk, honk, honk, honk.

Speaker 5 Negative inspiration die for Chris somehow.

Speaker 5 Hello.

Speaker 5 I would say this about birds. I do not relate to any of them because they sometimes rain down upon my village and attack us.
But other than that, I guess I would say penguins flightless.

Speaker 5 And other than them being in the cold weather, if there was a hot weather one, then I would be it. Don't penguins also collect like special shiny stones that they give to their partners?

Speaker 5 Yes, they do. Do they?

Speaker 5 That's adorable. Yeah, it's another connection for you there.
You like a shiny stone, don't you, Gunther? I like shiny stones. They made a whole Don Bluth movie about it.

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen penguins hug? It's like, I've seen people do it.

Speaker 1 They're like, I'm doing a penguin hug where they put their foreheads together with their partner and then just like put their arms out straight and slap the button's bud like on the side.

Speaker 5 I've not seen that. It sounds cute.
It sounds adorable.

Speaker 5 All right. I think that's a that's a good one.
People often forget about penguins when it comes to birds. That's a that's a good one, Gunther.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Penglings.

Speaker 5 So for you, good birds.

Speaker 5 All right. Did anyone understand what that sentence was? Nope.
No, we just laugh walked. We're all laughing.
I watched you all laugh, like, just to move across what he said.

Speaker 5 Being a good scene partner, John.

Speaker 5 There are no good birds. Yeah, I see.
Gus got it. Classic Chris Fraser.

Speaker 5 I don't know, John DiZamo.

Speaker 5 It's like Steve Corella, like Bruce Almighty, when he's messing with him.

Speaker 5 It's all about what the feeling is. It's not the words themselves.

Speaker 5 True. That's a lot of podcasting.
It's just the feelings you get. It sounds more like Gus was laughing to move across what Chris said.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Sweeping that under and moving along.

Speaker 5 I believe next up was Barbara.

Speaker 1 It is. Hello.
I'm Barbara Dunkelman. I play Doug Boone, the male artificer bugbear.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 little-known fact, Doug actually quite liked birds. Every now and then, he'd do a little bit of bird watching, you know, sit in silence, check them out.

Speaker 1 And I think over the course of the many years of bird watching, Doug has come to the conclusion that he is most like a raven. Oh.
A ravens, very highly intelligent. They know how to use tools.

Speaker 1 You know, they're, they're playful, they're loyal.

Speaker 1 All the good qualities that Doug sees in himself, I think.

Speaker 5 And they never forget their enemies.

Speaker 1 I want that too.

Speaker 1 I feel like ravens do really have a good memory, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, they like pass down knowledge through the generations of people who have wronged them.

Speaker 5 Like, if you get on the bad side of ravens, they will remember after that raven you have wronged is long gone, its children and their children will remember you and not like you.

Speaker 5 I had an experience with a raven. It was the most intelligent bird wild creature I've ever had.

Speaker 5 Like, I was helping one of its bird friends, and they were all mad and attacking, but then they're like, oh, he's chill. And it was like the logic and understanding that they have.
Ravens are crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just like Doug Boone.

Speaker 5 Just like Doug Boone.

Speaker 1 Also, side note question. I heard someone say that wasps also like,

Speaker 1 remember faces. So if you like wrong them or like hurt their nest or something like that, they'll remember you, which terrifying enough.

Speaker 1 Like Trevor had some kill a wasp nest the other day, and I'm like, kill all of them.

Speaker 5 Do not leave a single one alive. You leave no waspes.

Speaker 5 Go in wearing a baklava or something.

Speaker 5 Remember it.

Speaker 5 Baklava.

Speaker 5 Sweet dessert. Chris is hungry.
I want to wear a baklava on my face.

Speaker 5 I was getting in an elevator the other day in a parking garage. And as I was getting in, a wasp started flying into the entrance of the elevator as the door was closing.

Speaker 5 And I reached out with my hand like I was going to swat it and bat it away. And then I stopped myself.
I was like, What am I doing?

Speaker 5 Like, that is a sure way to get a wasp sting right in the palm of your hand. Then it turned away at the last second.

Speaker 1 Not if you're fast enough.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He's not going to my floor.

Speaker 5 Oh, you're going down. I'm going up.
All right. Bye.

Speaker 1 I was on set one time filming something, and there was a wasp on set that everyone was afraid of.

Speaker 1 And one of the producers just came and like literally batted it out of the air and onto the ground and it died.

Speaker 1 I was like, I want to marry you.

Speaker 5 I know I'm like betrothed, but I'm into it.

Speaker 5 That's like some AD energy there. Just keep it rolling.
Let's get this

Speaker 5 nuisance out of the way. All right.
Speaking of nuisances, get out of the way. I will step out of the way and let John

Speaker 5 take his turn. Hello, everybody.
I'm John Reising here, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a Drow Warlock Drag Queen mother. And I do love birds.

Speaker 5 I think they're so pretty, and I think they have such varietous and beautiful plumage.

Speaker 5 And their voices sing, you know, are just a blessing to us all. But if I had to pick a bird that I relate to,

Speaker 5 I'm going to go with an ostrich.

Speaker 5 I feel like ostriches, you know, a lot of people think that they're kind of like odd looking and a little uh got some odd proportions and stuff, but I think they're beautiful.

Speaker 5 I think they got great powerful legs, which, if you know anything about me, I'm strong and sturdy in the lower half. And they dance.
Have you ever seen an ostrich dance? Yeah, yeah, it's cool.

Speaker 5 And I like when they, it's almost like you can hear music when they're moving and doing that dance. And I just like that about them.
Plus, I just, I love that they got ginormous eggs.

Speaker 5 You can make like an omelette for like five families with one of them eggs. I had you pinned for a uh peacock.
I pinned it.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's or that bird from planet Earth that, uh, when it's like dancing for its mate, it's like it has that giant blue like smile on it. It looks so cool.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Gus, I'll go ahead and answer for you.
You're a turkey.

Speaker 5 Because I'm great at bowling. Yeah, I know.
Oh, I'm not.

Speaker 5 What a flex.

Speaker 5 John Dell or Natty, I should say.

Speaker 5 The interesting thing about when ostriches dance, especially with their plumage and their wings, is it reminds me kind of like showgirls and like Vegas showgirls with those big feathery fans that they have and they're kind of like moving them around.

Speaker 5 So it kind of ties in with like the performance aspect that I think

Speaker 5 Nanny would enjoy. Sorry, I don't think you guys know that reference, but I'm just going to leave it there and let anybody who knows what song I was singing.

Speaker 1 Is that from SNL? Nope.

Speaker 5 I mean, they might have parodied it. It was like a Christmas movie with George Clooney's mom, right? I know it was a Christmas movie.

Speaker 5 I don't know who George Clooney's mom, so it could have been or not i don't know i'm not really good at like uh hollywood legacies it was george clooney's aunt i'm so sorry rosemary clooney i'm glad you corrected that thank you yep yeah chris was really worried i think he needed to know

Speaker 5 white christmas chris you bitter chris you good yeah i'm good okay good good and i'm judy

Speaker 5 yeah

Speaker 5 all right let's move on to the episode you hear something behind you nanny sounds like sawing of lumber oh Oh, no more sleep. Turn around and I look at that.

Speaker 1 Lumbo, oh, hilumbo.

Speaker 5 Turn around, and you see Gunther standing behind you, saluting, but with his head drooped. He's fully asleep and snoring.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Gunther, you see, in your mind, a youthful humanoid flower. It burns with flaming petals.
You know it as the wilder flower. She's visibly upset, furrowing her brow at you, Gunther.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Isn't the wilder flower, like, your?

Speaker 1 That's his god i'm sorry what have i done your faithfulness is wavering gunther i have seen you talking with the other deities you must prove your fealty or suffer the consequences what can i do for you

Speaker 5 as you say this you feel comfortably warm as a cool breeze brushes past you a cacophony of chirping and skittering reverberates off the walls from insects and tropical foliage sprawls across the floors, walls, and domed ceiling.

Speaker 5 You're inside an ancient temple made of smooth stone with a dull sheen. You know this holy place.
It's the sanctuary of first bloom.

Speaker 1 I'm waiting.

Speaker 5 She taps her toe.

Speaker 5 Does it Gunther see, like, does it open up anywhere, like, anything present itself, like, in front of him?

Speaker 5 It's a pretty big room that you're standing in.

Speaker 5 There's nothing, you know, the only thing directly in front of you is the wilder flower, and then, you know, the walls and all this tropical foliage surrounding you.

Speaker 5 And there is a pedestal nearby that's empty. Can Kelsey go to the pedestal? Sure.
I'm sorry. I have

Speaker 5 strayed in my path. I shall make you whole.
I promise soon. What can I do to ease your pain in the moment? Give her water.
Give her moisture. Spit on her.

Speaker 5 Yuck.

Speaker 5 I'm going to need you to say that in Tull's voice. This is in, so this is in world.

Speaker 5 We're not there. Blaine is, though.

Speaker 5 Blaine's inside the temple.

Speaker 5 How's it going?

Speaker 5 Am I supposed to just do everything for you, Gunther? And now look at you. Befouling the pedestal further?

Speaker 5 Oh, no. Gunther jumps off.
Oh, you're helping me. To clean it.
Do you notice anything at all odd about the pedestal, Gunther? It's empty. I know.
I shall fill it with.

Speaker 5 Gunther looks around for anything

Speaker 5 like fruits or food or anything. Okay.
Make a survival check to see what you find. It's 14.
14, yeah. You find,

Speaker 5 of course, like I mentioned, there are insects which are in abundance, but as well, you know, you begin looking through the tropical foliage and you find various strangely shaped and colored tropical fruits that you're able to pick up and make

Speaker 5 a little snack plate out of.

Speaker 5 Charcunery.

Speaker 5 Charcoalery.

Speaker 5 Show this help. She looks over

Speaker 5 the fruits that you've presented her. I assume it's just like a variety of fruit.
Is that correct? Okay.

Speaker 5 She looks over the fruits you provided her and kind of picks through them and says, I'm more interested in vitality.

Speaker 1 Specifically, your vitality, Gunther.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 5 Yes, I understand. Yes, yes, yes.
Gunther takes his sword and cuts like his palm. Okay.
So that's some like blood oath. Yeah, blood can drip from it.

Speaker 5 She grabs your palm with one hand so that your palm is open and then puts her other hand on top of it, on top of the wound. High five.

Speaker 5 It's more like a Gunther hand sandwich, is what I'm envisioning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, this will do. And then when she removes her hand off the top, it seems like the wound itself is not healing.

Speaker 5 I thought Nadi's deity was bad.

Speaker 5 She needs more. No.
She withdraws her hand and then she knocks all of the fruit you presented off of the pedestal.

Speaker 1 She points at it and looks at you and says, You lose the blessing I bequeath the Croakfolk. You leave your family and home behind.
You casually speak to other deities.

Speaker 1 If I didn't know any better, Gunther,

Speaker 1 I'd say you've lost your faith.

Speaker 5 Not lost it, it is.

Speaker 5 I've just lost my way. I was trying to make you whole again, and I got lost.
But I will find you again.

Speaker 5 I will find the way.

Speaker 1 We'll see, Gunther.

Speaker 5 And she exhales a breeze of fiery floral petals. They swirl around you faster and faster, and with a whoosh, you're back with your companions, saluting Naddy.

Speaker 5 Though the red sun hangs lower, it now shares the sky with the moon and stars. Evening has fallen.
When she did the petals, though, she went

Speaker 5 like a boomer in Left 4 Dead. Yeah, yeah.
You look at your hand, Gunther, and you have the wound here in your waking life.

Speaker 5 Metagame-wise, we're going to say that your maximum HP is lowered temporarily as a sacrifice to your god. How much?

Speaker 5 By half. So instead of a maximum of 66, you have a maximum of 33 hit points.
Holy moly.

Speaker 1 Not a very nice god you got there.

Speaker 5 Where are we, the rest of the party, in relation to Gunther at this point? So you all are standing around Gunther.

Speaker 5 You're at the outskirts of the ruins of Raisine, standing next to the cragtas, and with Naddy leading you all. Oh, that's right.
We moved. The cragtas moved.
We're in new land.

Speaker 5 Is Gunther still out of it right now? No, he has now snapped back to, and a little bit of time has passed. And they have Gunther standing before you.
He was zoned out for a little bit.

Speaker 5 Hey, sleepy head, you good?

Speaker 5 What you doing over there? I am not good. I am the opposite of good, which would be bad.
Why are you bad? What's going on?

Speaker 5 I'm feeling.

Speaker 1 I think he's just a little clanky because he just woke up.

Speaker 1 I've been there before, you know. You just have a nice long nap and then someone wakes you up and just everything sucks.
I know the feel.

Speaker 5 Does suck when I wake up right down now?

Speaker 5 I'm

Speaker 5 losing.

Speaker 5 I'm failing. At everything I set out to do, I need to hurry.
Okay, let's break it down here, Gunther. What do you mean you're failing? That can be many things.

Speaker 5 You know, education-wise, you could be failing a test, or, you know, are you like failing a mission? Be specific. I'm failing my deity, my family, and myself.

Speaker 5 I've been wasting time. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I mean, what do you have to do?

Speaker 5 I can't be an army. I need to go.
Like, again, though, you're speaking vaguely. You're like, I cannot be an army.

Speaker 5 What specifically are you failing at? Like, tell me,

Speaker 5 you know, like, be plain with me. I'm very stupid and I need to understand.
Finally, someone else said that to someone else in this group.

Speaker 5 See how it feels, Tov, when you're like a secret robot for like forever and then I just kept asking you questions. You wouldn't tell me you're a secret robot?

Speaker 5 I was waiting for a climactic cinematic place to do so.

Speaker 5 I don't know what that means. Something was stolen from my people.
Okay. And from my deity, and I must return it, and I can no longer be distracted.
And so, like, is your deity talking to you?

Speaker 5 Like, what do they feel about all of you? Is your deity in the room right now? Is the deity here? Do you see the deity right now?

Speaker 5 They are here with me in my in my heart and in my soul and in my blood, and they are not happy.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, maybe there's a way for us to help you, Ganto. I mean, we're all a team, and so if there's something that you need to find, maybe we could help you.

Speaker 5 I must find the eleven toad of the heathen who are stolen from my people.

Speaker 1 The eleven told?

Speaker 5 He's talked about this guy. He's got some more, someone betrayed him with 11 toes.
But like, Gunther, it sounds like your deity is giving you lots of grief.

Speaker 5 And you kind of saw how I interacted with my deity, you know, the sea drinker, and how great our relationship is.

Speaker 5 Like, have you considered, you know, I don't know, opening up your options, maybe looking at other deities, perhaps?

Speaker 5 That would be a crime and I shall not hear of it again okay I'm just saying if your deity is treating you poorly then maybe it's not your fault maybe consider possibly it's the deity's fault I'm just saying you or a loved one been abused by your deity and you need someone to talk to call five five

Speaker 5 oh it is I who has been abusive and absent meta talk Gunther's deity sucks right they're like super mean and jealous and they just hurt gunther and lordization like gunther's not the problem.

Speaker 5 I mean, Gunther's a problem, but he's not the problem. Hey, not but.
Very different.

Speaker 5 We'll find out, huh? It's all a matter of perspective. Everyone has their own view on things.
Well, from my perspective, his deity is evil.

Speaker 1 Nice. Well, yeah, maybe

Speaker 1 we could help you. Because, you know, we'd hate for you to leave and then we'd be without, you know, our quote folk.

Speaker 5 Fight fighter guy.

Speaker 1 That would be a problem. And, you know, we could work together.
You know, we'll help you and then you help us. And it all works out that way.

Speaker 5 I agree with Doug. You know, like, we won't push the point any further.
You've expressed discomfort in us talking about this, but just know that our door is always open. Me, Doug,

Speaker 5 Natty,

Speaker 5 clearly, and

Speaker 5 Giggy's there. Captain Grumbles.

Speaker 1 I mean, you could talk to Gambot if you need to. He's very easy to talk to.

Speaker 5 Yes, he will process it. Maybe I shall talk to Gambot privately.

Speaker 1 Anytime.

Speaker 5 I appreciate your love.

Speaker 5 You know what? In the spirit of sharing, you know,

Speaker 5 that's what we're kind of asking from you, right? You know, we're like, hey, Gunther, we hear that you're having a problem and you want to leave the army and we're asking you why and you and

Speaker 5 you're giving us a little bit of information, but like maybe to help you feel a little bit more comfortable to share more,

Speaker 5 I can share as well.

Speaker 1 Doug is sat.

Speaker 5 I think I'm going to sit as well. Yeah, I just want to hear about

Speaker 5 this. I'm not sharing about me.

Speaker 5 Okay, I'm standing up now. I'm sharing about Gunther.
Okay, I'm sitting back down now. We kind of kept this to ourselves, but you know what?

Speaker 5 I've been thinking about it, and I think it's silly for us to kind of keep this as a secret. I don't like secrets.

Speaker 5 We found by week me and Doug, we found a little paper with your face on it down in the bottom of the ocean. What?

Speaker 1 Oh, we're telling him, huh?

Speaker 5 Yes, Doug. And Natty grabs Doug's hand and squeezes and go,

Speaker 5 this is about making us a stronger group as a whole, okay?

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 I thought you were going to say that you had some sort of like trist, some secret romance, but okay, go on, go on. With who? I'm betrothed.
I got a wife.

Speaker 5 You're right, but I mean, you know, you can still, you know,

Speaker 5 that's my son right there. Okay, I know.
I don't got what the paper says.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Dogi's not interested in people in that way.

Speaker 5 That's my teenage son right there.

Speaker 5 I was saying Gunther and Natty, Gunther ex-Natty.

Speaker 5 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I think Gunther also has a wife, doesn't he?

Speaker 5 I have a wife. You're a stupid idea.
I'm sorry. I just learned the word superhero.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 I was sharing.

Speaker 5 This is my time. This is my time.
I reclaim my minutes.

Speaker 5 It said you were wanted. It was like a wanted poster.

Speaker 1 And by wanted, it doesn't mean like, oh, they want you. It's like, it's bad, bad, wanted.

Speaker 5 For crimes. It was like it was like a crime thing.

Speaker 5 Like, you done something bad against someone else, and they're like, well, I'll pay money to get this little so-and-so back here so we can punish him.

Speaker 5 Well, I have done many things that are bad, and I do probably deserve to be punished. So that is not surprising, but I do not know who would have such a paper on me.

Speaker 1 Do we remember, like, who put out that wanted poster or like what the like who to contact if found kind of situation?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I heard about it in the second wind. It's for Patreon members only and can be found at sneaky dragonpod.com.
Very insightful show. Tov endorsement.
Dolve, take a take an inspiration, die, blame.

Speaker 5 Yeah!

Speaker 5 I have been searching for a long time,

Speaker 5 and I have been on my own for a very long time searching, and I have been

Speaker 5 and I've encountered many people in that time.

Speaker 5 And I have only joined army and only because I thought I could maybe see people and find things that I could not find on my own, because the army opens up opportunities that it is difficult to do as a single person.

Speaker 5 But as before when I was on my own, I did many things to try and make my deity whole. Okay, but did you...

Speaker 5 Does the place Sky Blue Falls ring any bells? I don't know, does it? Sorry.

Speaker 5 Yeah, does Gunther remember that place? Also, Doug, why does he keep talking about his deity's whole? What does that even mean?

Speaker 1 A good one tall.

Speaker 5 Doug, high fives.

Speaker 5 Yes, yes. It was a joke, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, I've been studying these things you call jokes.

Speaker 1 And that, I could tell, was a play on words.

Speaker 1 Not to be confused with a pun.

Speaker 5 I was not always alone. Oh.
I left my village, but I did not leave alone. Oh, so was it lapse? Shish, shish, it takes him forever.
I'm engaged. I know, but he's he's just let him get the information.

Speaker 5 He takes long pauses, and I need to fill in the blanks because it is, I can't stand awkward silences. So, Chris, speed it up.

Speaker 5 I left not alone, but with my friend Bunlap. We had to separate because we were in prison.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you escaped prison?

Speaker 5 Maybe. But it did not escape me.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a good one. So is Bunlap still in prison? Sky Blue Falls prison?

Speaker 5 He may be. Last time you left, let's just just be specific.
There we go. I hope he's good, but our mission is not to escape each other from prisons, but to make our village whole.
What does that mean?

Speaker 5 The thing that was stolen, we must return it.

Speaker 1 What was stolen?

Speaker 5 I cannot say. Can you speak of it broadly and help them out in that respect on there? An object.
An object that is sacred to my people. That makes that makes my deity whole.

Speaker 5 That is, that protects our village. It was stolen, and I must return it.
What if we named several objects, and then you give like a subtle cue, you know, like a spice to the nose or a wink?

Speaker 5 Why do you need to know the object? I'm just so that we can also look for it. I'm looking for it.
You do not need to look for it. Well, I can also help look for it.
That isn't my mission. Is it a cup?

Speaker 5 No. Chair? No.
Vase? No. Sword? Necklace.
No.

Speaker 5 I'm just gonna keep naming things.

Speaker 5 Boots. No, no boots.
Gloves. Well, here, here.
Okay. Team leader, telling everybody, hush, hush, hush, hush.
All right. You do that a lot.
Yeah, I do, because you guys are

Speaker 5 channeling myself.

Speaker 5 Thank you, Doug. I'm still holding Doug's hand, by the way.

Speaker 5 So I'm a mediate here because I could tell that the group's getting a little frustrated, but also so is Gunther, okay?

Speaker 5 He's trying to share, but he's trying to share within confines that are comfortable for him, okay you know so just so we're all on the same page you were with your people in your land wife kids all that kind of stuff then you and bun lap left your people

Speaker 5 because

Speaker 5 generally speaking you went to go to retrieve something yes okay

Speaker 5 and then while trying to go and retrieve something you did something that someone else thought was bad enough to put you guys in prison. Yes, I do not agree.
I'm being very clear.

Speaker 5 I'm being very picky my words here. So they decided you need to go to prison, but while in prison, you by yourself were able to get out of prison.
Yes. Okay.

Speaker 5 And then at some point after that, you joined the army. Yes.
Okay. Now, the only little puzzle piece I'm trying to figure out where this lands in the timeline of Gunther is that 11-toed dude.

Speaker 5 Where does he fit? in what I just described. Was he before you left the land or was he like a prison dude? No, he was in my village when I was younger.

Speaker 5 He just killed my family and said, stole from us. And then I grew up and I said, I will go find him.

Speaker 1 He stole this object that your deity needs.

Speaker 5 Yes. Oh, yes, yes.
Sorry. I did not know that was a question, but yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Doug also just realized you were saying 11-toaded.

Speaker 5 T-O-E-D.

Speaker 1 T-O-A-D.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very different.

Speaker 1 You see the confusion coming from Ganto.

Speaker 5 I mean, I understand, but there are. The person we were talking to is the alchemist, okay?

Speaker 5 Fall back.

Speaker 8 If you run a business, holidays are stressful. Last year was our first time being independent during the holiday rush, and it was crazy.
And that's why you need a commerce platform you can trust.

Speaker 8 Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names to entrepreneurs who will be participating in the first Black Friday, Cyber Monday this year.

Speaker 8 So many brands rely on Shopify. Heinz, the Tel, Deathwish Coffee, Magic Spoon, the list goes on.
Who has time to spend hours poring over every little detail?

Speaker 8 Shopify has thousands of templates and tools to help streamline website creation, making sure that your site isn't just aesthetically pleasing, but functional at the same time.

Speaker 8 Plus, you know that Shopify's award-winning customer support team is on standby 24-7 to help with any issues that arise, allowing you to get back to business.

Speaker 8 If you want to give customers the best experience possible this holiday season, you need Shopify. This Black Friday, join the thousands of new entrepreneurs hearing

Speaker 8 for the first time with Shopify. Sign up for your free trial today at shopify.com slash dragon.
That's shopify.com slash dragon.

Speaker 8 Go to shopify.com slash dragon and make this Black Friday one to remember.

Speaker 7 Cold winter mornings are rushing out the

Speaker 7 This season's lineup is simple, but smart and easy with Quince. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like an everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable.

Speaker 7 By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of other high-end brands.

Speaker 7 So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag. When I'm rushing to that next holiday party, I like to throw on a little cashmere sweater and a suede mommer jacket combo and boom!

Speaker 7 Looking stylish and fit in clothing I know will last through every event of the season. And Quince has gifting covered beyond clothing too.
Need something for your home, bath, kitchen, or travel?

Speaker 7 I picked up a lovely pumpkin cardamom candle for my mom. It's the perfect gift.
It has mom write in the name. Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince.

Speaker 7 Go to quince.com slash dragon for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too, that's q-u-in-ce-e.com slash dragon.
Free shipping and 365-day returns.

Speaker 7 Quince.com slash dragon.

Speaker 2 This episode of Sales from the Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Audible and Harry Potter, the Fullcast Audio Editions.

Speaker 2 Experience the beloved Harry Potter stories like you've never heard them before on Audible.

Speaker 2 Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos, also featuring an electrifying new musical score.

Speaker 2 Harry Potter the Fullcast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling's iconic series as a truly spell-binding listening event for the whole family.

Speaker 2 Harry Potter the Fullcast Audio Editions features a spectacular A-list cast including Hugh Laurie as Alba Stumbledore, Matthew McFadden as Voldemort, Riz Ahmed as Severus Snape, Michelle Gomez as Professor McGonagall, Mark Addy, and more.

Speaker 2 The production also features a rousing new musical score that heightens every magical moment. The adventure will surround you.

Speaker 2 You'll hear footsteps echoing off the walls of Hogwarts, and the whoosh of a golden snitch as it darts past your ear.

Speaker 2 It's a spell-binding experience for long-time Harry Potter fans and a delightful new way to introduce stories to a new generation.

Speaker 2 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is available now with new audiobooks in the series releasing every month thereafter. It's Harry Potter like you've never heard it before.
Listen on Audible.

Speaker 2 Go to audible.com slash HP1, that's HP and the number one, and start listening today. Again, that's audible.com slash HP1.
Listen on Audible. Listen now.

Speaker 5 Okay, so he stole it, and now you left, and you left in order to reclaim your honor? I left to make my deity whole. My honor was there.
Okay, so the thing that was stolen, it damaged your deity. Yes.

Speaker 5 Okay, okay. I cannot return home without it because I have no honor.

Speaker 5 So then, no, sorry, yeah, Tolv, I'm all about, yeah, here, I'm gonna pass the talking ball over to Tolv, okay, Tolv, you take the talking ball. What is this ball?

Speaker 5 It's the talking ball. Whoever holds the ball gets to talk.
Okay, hi, Tolv, you who, it's me.

Speaker 5 This thing, you don't have to say what it is,

Speaker 5 but

Speaker 5 I had it. It was a really good question that was going to set Chris up.
Well, here's what we can figure out: is that the 11-toed fella? Have you told us what kind of race that creature is?

Speaker 5 I do not know. All I know is the number of toes.
You saw something's toes and you don't know what it was?

Speaker 1 You know what color the toes were?

Speaker 5 It could be like in Jurassic Park when they're hiding under the table and you just see the raptor feet coming by. It's like you don't see the rest of it, you just see like the claws.

Speaker 5 You could pick those raptor feet out of a lineup, but you don't know what the raptor looks like. Yeah, yeah.
If it was, was it a raptor? It was not a raptor. Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 I only saw were the feet, and that doesn't. What kind of feet were they? Were they like your feet? Or were they like my feet? Or were they like Doug's feet? Well, I don't know.

Speaker 5 What kind of feet were they?

Speaker 5 Maybe we should figure that out right now. Well, I mean.

Speaker 1 Is this something where you genuinely don't know?

Speaker 5 Or like you said, I think that's Chris saying, like, revealed this part in the story. Yeah, I hadn't been determined, so I don't know.
Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 5 We can go back to that. Or you can make that decision now if you want, but totally up to you.
Do it. Do it.
Craft the world as we go. It was a toes

Speaker 5 that have long talons, and they were the color of purple. I love this.
This is just,

Speaker 5 we're weaving

Speaker 5 a tapestry of narrative joy.

Speaker 1 Hey, Natty, just a quick question. I know this might be weird.
What do your toes look like, Nanny?

Speaker 1 You're kind of purple.

Speaker 5 I am purple, but I don't have talons.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, I trust you.

Speaker 5 You also only have 10 toes. I have looked.

Speaker 1 That's weird to share, but okay.

Speaker 5 I've looked at all of your toes. Yeah, that tracks.

Speaker 5 Okay, I feel like we've kind of got an idea of like what Gunther. So it sounds like you just had a dream that your deity is getting impatient and a little huffy.

Speaker 5 Can I ask what this object does, like what purpose it serves? You don't have to say what it is, but can you tell us like the use of this object?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 Good God. My, oh my.
We are trying to help you. I cannot say you are not in my village.

Speaker 5 I swear to God, if this is like some sort of like hacky sack or like

Speaker 5 one of those whoopy cushions.

Speaker 5 The holy hacky sack.

Speaker 5 So here, because I can tell that we don't want to lose our Gunther. But Gunther wants to be able to do his little journey.
Let's find a middle ground here.

Speaker 5 Okay, we're on our way back to fort andridge to finish out the the mission we're on right now what if once we get to fort andridge we then can discuss with our superiors an opportunity to integrate your mission into what we do next i think that's a great idea personally

Speaker 5 yes that would help okay i thank you for that well you're welcome and i encourage you i mean talk to here sharing is caring it makes you feel better it hits we can all hit we can can all carry the load, okay?

Speaker 5 Yes. Okay.
I know. We shall share the load because I do not feel very strong right now.
Why not? I just feel weakened. And Cunther shows his hand.
Oh my god, what happened? That looks bad. Yes.

Speaker 5 We don't know about what happened. Thank you, Blaine.

Speaker 5 It is me giving to my duty to help them be strong. But it shall make me weak.
Yeah, that's quite... Wow.
See Drinker never asked me to do anything like that Just saying. It ain't a competition, Tolby.

Speaker 5 You get a competition. I'm saying he deserves to be aware of it.

Speaker 5 You've changed, Tolb. You used to be so polite and nice at the beginning of this little campaign.
Now you turn into a little bit of a stick in the mud. Well, now I got to know you guys.

Speaker 5 You're like, gee, whiz. I mean, dog, you're cool, but these other

Speaker 5 coming out now. Yeah, yeah, dude.

Speaker 5 All right. Well, we're going to have to talk about this.
We got some. Yeah, we're splitting the party.
That's right. Me and Doug are our own party now.
Isn't that right, Doug?

Speaker 5 Doug, is there anything you need to share to get off the show? Yeah, Doug. Go ahead.
Let's share what your feelings are, and then we will go to the next one.

Speaker 1 My feelings are that I proposed this idea probably 20 minutes ago in this conversation, and everyone ignored Doug.

Speaker 5 What was the proposal?

Speaker 1 That we go and help Gunther on his quest in addition to doing our stuff.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I feel you on that. I think we had to like bring Gunther to your level, Doug, is what we had to do.
It feels like there was a journey here that everyone had to take part in.

Speaker 5 You put down a stage.

Speaker 1 Doug, at the front end, and yeah, but I had to like, you know,

Speaker 5 you got to drag a horse to water sometimes. Yep.

Speaker 5 That's exactly what I was saying. You can lead a gunther to water, but he's not going to acknowledge it.

Speaker 5 Sometimes you got to scoot it from the behind and be like, keep moving, keep moving. There's water.
See that where Doug is? Doug's where water is, okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm sweaty.

Speaker 1 This whole situation makes me very nervous.

Speaker 5 That's Barbara slipping into Doug.

Speaker 1 Listen, you gotta put some of yourself into your characters.

Speaker 5 And I still don't know where this ball came from.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's Gambot. Sorry.
Look at me.

Speaker 5 That's the cut. That's the talking ball.
He's just handing Gambot around.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's just got his little.

Speaker 5 He's just looking at you while you talk.

Speaker 5 Smile face. Okay.
Shall we head? Yes.

Speaker 1 Great idea, Natty.

Speaker 5 All right, so Doug's also passive-aggressive now. We're all developing in new ways.

Speaker 5 This is not George and Dead anybody.

Speaker 5 I love it. So, to set the scene, you all are outside the ruins of Raisine.

Speaker 5 And, you know, you all did pass through here on your way many,

Speaker 5 many episodes ago. You did pass through here.
And people say that some locals here aren't as drunk as you think.

Speaker 5 There's a constant racket of hammering and sawing, but the locals are connoisseurs of fine wine.

Speaker 5 The entire town is under construction, and there is a creek nearby that I believe you all crossed on your way through here, and a temple that also appears to be being rebuilt here in town.

Speaker 5 Oh, this was Cobb and his crew, and they were looking for lumber. Yes.
So

Speaker 5 there's construction. Did they find the lumber? Yes, you all kind of made a deal with them.
They found you all. Not all of us.

Speaker 5 They found some of you at the greenhouse with the fake gardeners and told, I think, you made a deal with them to take the lumber in the area from the trunks of Tihee and to use it to rebuild their town.

Speaker 5 And then you dove down

Speaker 5 the chasm to regroup with your party. Tolv the diplomat returning to his people.
I am the savior. Hello.
Are there any out? Or do we see them? Do we have time to stop by and say hello?

Speaker 5 Do you guys want to talk to the ruins of Raisine? Cobb?

Speaker 5 Do you want to get an update from Cobb? Hmm? A human who's walking by notices you all and catches eyes with you.

Speaker 5 You know, he does that thing where he was staring at the entirety of of the crackus, which wasn't there before, and his eyes come down and see you four, and he walks straight over to you guys.

Speaker 5 Oh, did you just see that mountain move? That was weird. Are you okay? That mountain didn't hit you?

Speaker 5 We're good. Yeah, I know we're good.
We ducked. Oh, that's good.
Someone order a crack tus.

Speaker 5 What are you doing here? I don't recognize you as a local. We're here to see this crackus.
Look at this thing. Why are we automatically lying to these people?

Speaker 5 Because I don't want to talk to them about why this crack is here. I just don't feel like having that conversation right now.
Mama's tired. Mama wants a glass of wine.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should be able to conjure that for yourself at some point.

Speaker 5 No, but that's what Gus said that they're known for here:

Speaker 5 they got wine. So I just want to get to that part.

Speaker 5 The name's Tenzao. And who are you? What are your names? I'm Naddy.

Speaker 1 I'm Doug, Doug Boone.

Speaker 5 Goon Third I mean, told what? I'm glad.

Speaker 5 You are trying to take my identity. And I'm looking for an 11-toned man, but I will not tell you why.

Speaker 5 You

Speaker 5 are not looking for such a person. Toll's on the dark web doing identity theft.

Speaker 5 Later to the person's right next to him.

Speaker 5 You who it's me, Toll. Sorry.
So, Tanzao, you know, um, we've actually passed through these parts before. We talked to Cobb.
Where is he? Oh, he's busy rebuilding.

Speaker 5 Meta talk, talk, are we recasting Cobb? Did we not get his voice actor back?

Speaker 5 It's Cameron. It's Cameron.
It's Cameron. Oh, we know we can afford Cameron.

Speaker 5 Can we talk to Cobb?

Speaker 5 That guy needs work.

Speaker 5 Meta-wise, it's kind of a decision point for you all, right?

Speaker 5 Like this NPC comes out to you and it's up to you whether you want to engage and go into the Ruins of Raisine or if you'd rather just talk to this person and then keep moving on.

Speaker 5 It's kind of like you're at a A nexus of choices for the party. I certainly will not make the decision.

Speaker 5 I wouldn't mind talking to the people of the ruins of Raisine to get an update because I think we left things off rocky and I think this is our opportunity to patch things up with them because we kind of helped.

Speaker 5 And we certainly left things off more rocky now because there's a giant mountain. Yes.
Good one. Good one.
I think that's a call for your team leader.

Speaker 1 There's Natty.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah, we could do a little bit of a pit stop.
Quick pit stop.

Speaker 5 We ain't staying here for long.

Speaker 5 We're going to get a little bit of an update and get out of here.

Speaker 1 And Ganto, if you happen to see anything that looks like the object you're missing, you don't have to tell us, just maybe, like, uh, maybe just give us a sign or something, or like a little flute.

Speaker 5 You can just signal like a

Speaker 5 something funny.

Speaker 5 Okay, okay. And Natty, I promise I will get you some vine for your patience.

Speaker 5 Giggy needs some wine, too.

Speaker 5 Oh, my goodness. I guess I don't know they're drinking it, too.
It's up to, you know, Natty's the parent.

Speaker 5 I subscribe to European-style parenting.

Speaker 5 A fringe. So, Told, you're asking Tanzao about Cobb? Yeah, I'd be interested in seeing Cobb.
I'm asking Tanzao if he can take us to Cobb.

Speaker 5 I can't take you, but he's over there. And Tanzao points at Ye Old Wineskin.

Speaker 5 Perfect. Tanzao, thank you so much for your help.
Enjoy the crafts. I hear that it used to be a huge source of economic growth for

Speaker 5 the place that it came from. And now it's yours.
Oh, it's mine. Okay.
Well, it's not yours. It's you know, it used to be sola sods, but now it's it's it's in the ruins of Raisine.
So have fun.

Speaker 5 Oh mine. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 5 Enjoy the elevators. Let him have this.
Let him have this. He seems distracted.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's looking past you. He's now looking at the crackers and walking past you over towards it.

Speaker 5 Guys wanna head to the wine place? Yeah, let's walk over.

Speaker 5 So you all make your way in the direction that Tanzao pointed into the town that's under construction, specifically to the building he pointed out, Ye old wineskin.

Speaker 5 And as you walk through town, all four of you make me perception checks. It's our first roll of the day.
We've just been role-playing. Yeah.

Speaker 5 19, 16, 11, 21. Okay, those are all good enough rolls.
All four of you notice that for all the noise that seems to be happening non-stop, The construction progress is slow.

Speaker 5 Not much has happened since you were here last. And it seems like all of the construction that's going on seems to be haphazard and not very focused or directed.

Speaker 5 You approach Yeoled Wineskin and of course as the name would imply it's a winery, a shop of some kind and there seem to be a handful of buildings under construction near it.

Speaker 5 Homes, an inn, bank, schoolhouse, you know, typical town stuff. And specifically for Yeol Wineskin, it has a blurry sign and a sagging roof and a door that seems to be slightly askew.

Speaker 1 You think the people who built this place already had a little bit of a taste test of their product?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I don't know if i feel safe going in there but i want to see copso so bad knock knock knock no it's booming door just falls off

Speaker 5 so y'all go in yeah sure okay you walk in to yield wineskin and as you you know look around the interior of the building it seems like there's bulging leather seats set out all around inside of the room.

Speaker 5 And looking at the bar, it seems weird because it looks like the bar also slopes to one side.

Speaker 5 And behind behind the bar stands a middle-aged human and uh sitting in one of the leather seats you see a gnome who you recognize as cobb

Speaker 5 hey cob what's up fella good to see you again

Speaker 5 i can hear the finger guns i can just hear the finger guns

Speaker 5 cob kind of slowly turns his head around uh looks at you four kind of squints his eyes for a second oh hey

Speaker 5 get on over here oh here we come you recognize us, right, Cobb? You remember us? Yeah, it's you guys.

Speaker 5 How's it going?

Speaker 5 So good. It seems like the things at the ruins of Raisine are less ruins and more like new builds.
Am I right? This is looking good. New Raisine, huh? Oh, we're working on it.

Speaker 5 Really trying to get the Temple of the Vine Dresser rebuilt, but there's a lot to do.

Speaker 5 Yes, yes. We have been good to no longer lit the Great Sick.
It is past. We are cured, Cobb.
Oh, the Great Sick, right. He turns and looks at Giggy, who is now much bigger than before.

Speaker 5 Oh, he's still big. Is that because of the Great Sick? There were permanent side effects, yes.
But he's a strong and healthy boy now, yeah? Yes, yes.

Speaker 5 If I remember right, the last time you came through, Gunther said that the Great Sick was affecting Giggy, and that's why he looked the way he did. Yeah, just put a video out for it.
Or uh, animation.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 that's too bad.

Speaker 5 The rest of you look okay. Yeah.
So, like,

Speaker 5 it seems like you've got that lumber that you were looking for, remember when we helped you find it, huh? Oh, yes, the trunks of tea.

Speaker 5 It's a lot of lumber. I don't know how to use it all.
We're figuring it out. Good, good.
It looks like a solid building. Gunter slaps.

Speaker 5 Dunk, dunk.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Cobb puts his wine glass down on the table and it begins slowly sliding down the slanted table.

Speaker 1 Uh, this is just a question for Cobb. When the last time, like the first time we met you, had you been spending some time here in Ye Old Wineskin?

Speaker 5 Maybe.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 Just trying to figure out if, like, it's just the way you talk or maybe you just, you know, spent a little bit too long in here.

Speaker 5 It's a regional accent.

Speaker 5 Oh, really cool. Say, can I buy some of that vine? Hmm? Some of that regional accent.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I'll have what he's having. At the specialty.
Go talk to Connor over there. And 12, make me a charisma check.
12.

Speaker 5 Okay, yeah. Cobb kind of motions for you to come in closer, like he's going to tell you a secret.
Okay, I come in as close as I can without being blown away by his terrible breath. It's pretty bad.

Speaker 5 Connor keeps the good stuff in the back. Ask them for the merlothe.
Okay, thanks for the tip, Cobb. Cobb does a very exaggerated wink to you.
Wink? That's a blink, but okay.

Speaker 1 Is it with both eyes slowly, like...

Speaker 5 They're out of sync. I'll talk to Connor.
Yeah, you walk over to the bar, and the bartender's wiping down the slanted bar that's in front of them.

Speaker 5 They've got a patchwork blouse on, and as you get closer, you kind of get a smell off of them, like tea, you know, tea leaves. You must be Connor.
Hello, you who? My name's Tove. How's it going? Wait,

Speaker 5 I am Connor.

Speaker 5 Oh, another regional accent. Connor, Seward.

Speaker 5 Las Clemicho.

Speaker 5 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 5 I would like a bottle of the good stuff. I've been told that the Merloth is especially good here.

Speaker 5 Connor disappears for a moment, going behind the bar, and then emerges with a dusty bottle and pours you a glass from the bottle. And it's a deep black ruby color and slides it over to you.

Speaker 5 Ooh, one glass of Zimaloth. Can I get just a bottle, like unopened? You know, it's a gift for a friend.
Oh,

Speaker 5 big spender. Wee-wee.
They disappear again behind the bar and come back out with an unopened bottle looking very similar to the first one they brought out and put it down next to the glass. Very nice.

Speaker 5 What's the damage? That'll be five gold.

Speaker 5 Okay,

Speaker 5 I will hand over five and I'll go ahead and give that that bottle, the glass, a sniff and I'll say ooh notes of of berries and

Speaker 5 yes the body oh look at that and uh what about the legs oh

Speaker 5 great legs yes the legs on this are yes the potency what year is it what yeah oh is this a vintage oh it's the freshest vine

Speaker 5 great

Speaker 5 Okay, well, thank you for business, Connor. Keep it up.
Love this establishment. Support local.
They just kind of nod at you and go back to wiping down the uh the bar.

Speaker 5 Okay, and I give Natty the bauble for her troubles. Here you go, Natty.
As promised, bottle of wine for the busy, busy mom, you know, it's tough job. So, happy Mother's Day.

Speaker 1 Could Doug walk up to Connor?

Speaker 5 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Hey, uh, uh, Connor, was it correct?

Speaker 5 Weeee.

Speaker 1 Have you happen to see any uh, anyone purple with some talons walking around town?

Speaker 5 Pepper with talons? No.

Speaker 1 Good to know, good to know. Maybe they just don't frequent places like this, but uh, if you happen to see one, just uh, just be on the lookout.

Speaker 5 Ooh, okay.

Speaker 1 Also, I like your accent. The French.

Speaker 5 Oh, it's it's terrible. Terry Blay.

Speaker 5 It's from Parish.

Speaker 5 Please do not talk to me too much. It's not so easy, is it, Gus?

Speaker 1 We need to not cast this character and just have it be Gus.

Speaker 5 I want to talk to that Italian guy again.

Speaker 5 Let's just take Gus around Europe and see what we get. Let's not do that.
Barbara, were you done talking to Connor Sewer? Oh. Oh.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 There it is.

Speaker 5 So, Cobb, tell us about the temple of the vine dresser. What is that? Is that associated with some sort of a deity that I might know?

Speaker 5 Yes, of course. The vine dresser.
That's usually what the temples are named after, Tov.

Speaker 5 You got me there. What makes the vine dresser so special? Are they like, you know, do they frequent these parts? You know, like, what's their deal? Oh, they're the greatest deity, all right.

Speaker 5 They can conjure, summon, and control vines and grapes and create magical wine. Wow, that sounds like a very cool deity, right, Gunther? Hmm? That sounds pretty cool.

Speaker 5 I was wondering what you're doing.

Speaker 5 He's trying to like, like, blind date Gunther up with a god.

Speaker 5 And so, this vine dresser, are they looking for more acolytes and followers? The vine dresser is always looking for more people to become pruners. I shall not talk with other deities.

Speaker 5 Sorry, Cob.

Speaker 5 I can picture at that point Gunther's doing like the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. He's like covering his ears and his eyes and his mouth.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who have you been talking to?

Speaker 5 So, you know, Cobb, it seems like things are going well. You know, you're rebuilding the vine dresser and things are going great for the ruins.

Speaker 5 How were things with Teehee? Was that like an amicable relationship? Were you you guys supporting each other? Oh, yes. Almost too much wood.
Don't know what to do with it all.

Speaker 5 They're having their own construction, too. Luckily, they make tons of lumber.
Well, that's great. Seems like everybody's happy and we helped out, right, Cobb? Yeah, good job.

Speaker 5 And he gives you a big thumbs up. Okay, that's all I needed.

Speaker 5 I have been fulfilled. This is the point of this mission.
I got Natty the Vine. I've got my thumbs up.
I'm good to go. Colev was doing his victory lap for diplomacy here in the ruins of Raisin.

Speaker 5 I'm just saying, like, wow, private parts, did you hear that? We fixed every, I fixed everything.

Speaker 5 Private parts scribbles some notes. Private parts still with us? Yeah.
How much wood would a raisine raise for raising could raise wood?

Speaker 5 Ooh, it's a good question. Gunther and Toll, make me...
Let's color perception checks again. It's a 14.
That's a one.

Speaker 5 Gunther, you notice that, you know, as Tov is talking to Cobb and they're talking about the trunks of Tihi and all the lumber, you know, you're looking looking around and thinking about how you walked into the old wineskin.

Speaker 5 And in your opinion, Gunther, most of the new construction is stone, bone, and clay. It doesn't seem like there's a ton of wood being used in the new construction.
Hmm, stone, bone, and clay.

Speaker 5 This is an interesting use of wood, I see.

Speaker 5 Oh, yes, so much.

Speaker 5 How do you go about building these

Speaker 5 fine structure? I'm interested as someone who also likes

Speaker 5 building. Normally, one of us starts building on one side and someone starts building on the other.
And then we figure it out and meet in the middle.

Speaker 5 And so, the wood, how-where does the wood come in? Because I don't see it. Well, that's an interesting question.
With many answers. You see, the wood comes in from the trunks of Tihi.

Speaker 5 gets put here and we kind of grab it and slather it up there. Oh

Speaker 5 slather it up? Yeah, it's a technical term.

Speaker 1 I'm not familiar with slathering wood, personally.

Speaker 5 Why don't you make me an insight check, Doug?

Speaker 1 There's only an eight.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you have the distinct feeling that Cobb has no idea what he's talking about. Hey, uh, Cobb, you're not like the leader around here.
Who's in charge around here? In charge? Uh, no one.

Speaker 5 That sounds like a perfect structure for things to get done well. Do you perhaps have like a priest who's like helping with the vine dresser's temple?

Speaker 5 No, but we'll find one though. After we build the temple, first the temple, then the priest.
So the temple's not done. Oh, no.
Y'all made your bar first.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you gotta have a place to unwind after a long day.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I get it how it's going around here.

Speaker 1 Because I mean, you could worship wherever, but.

Speaker 5 I agree.

Speaker 1 I agree. So you just gotta have their liquor licenses, and that's all.

Speaker 5 That takes a while.

Speaker 5 And with no one in charge to approve them, I mean, it's a terrible bureaucracy.

Speaker 5 Where is the wood from Teehee going? Like, do you guys have a storage area that you're keeping it? It seems odd that you said there's slathering wood everywhere, but I ain't seen much slathering.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, it's out in the middle of town. Cool.
Netty motions her party to go with her out there to investigate.

Speaker 1 I'd go with Natty.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'll go. Yeah, I'll go.
Sure. Thank you, Cobb.
We might be back with more questions, but you take it easy. Maybe drink some some water.

Speaker 5 He lifts a glass in your direction and kind of nods and turns his full attention back to his drink.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you walk back out and there's several different buildings all around the town square. And sure enough, in the middle of town, there's like a large surplus, what you call it, like a depot,

Speaker 5 a holding area with lots of lumber. All right,

Speaker 5 I feel like there's some fishy going on here, and we can figure this out. We're very good at this now.
We've had practice with these kinds of puzzles and mysteries, okay? So

Speaker 5 why don't we spread out around this lumber and we can see if we can find any clue on to what's going on here? Why is everybody all drunk but hasn't made their temple?

Speaker 5 And why are the wood not being used? I have a theory, I think that that's just it, that they're just a town of drunks and they just don't know what to do with the wood.

Speaker 5 You know, I don't know if there's much of a mystery afoot, to be honest.

Speaker 1 Maybe they're professionals, professional procrastinators.

Speaker 5 Someone's

Speaker 5 procrastinators, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 I've dealt with that before. Okay.
Tov, I think you might be right. I think we just might have stumbled upon a bunch of drunken idiots who are not doing a good job of what they should be doing.

Speaker 5 I mean, maybe for the safety of these people, we report back to the Mortalian and then they just like send like someone from the Corps of Engineers or something, you know, like so that these guys don't die.

Speaker 5 You know what? I like that idea. Why don't we just keep checking on this city like every

Speaker 5 so-and-so and see how they're developing and we can get more and more of this story. They're like our sea monkeys, you know.
We'll just every now and then poke our heads in and see how things are.

Speaker 5 I like that. I like that.
Okay. Because they love the more Italian, don't they? I mean, I'm curious to see what they're going to do with the crackus when we come and visit them again.

Speaker 5 I bet they're going to build like tree houses, but very poorly on the crackdown. They're just going to mine the cractus.

Speaker 5 We're going to come back

Speaker 5 to like a

Speaker 5 memorial around all of the crackers, around all of the people who died in the elevator system of the crackers

Speaker 5 okay

Speaker 5 well tol said he's been satisfied for what he wanted to do I'm really itching to get back to Fort Andrews I guess I'm itchy too oh

Speaker 5 we should get that checked out gonna throw

Speaker 5 I'm down that's just doug's hair all over you it gets everyone gets y'all itchy you know yeah try being me

Speaker 5 I'm starting to think that Fort Andrews not might not be there anymore how long we've taken taken to get back to it. So let's get there.

Speaker 1 I was hoping maybe to look at the creek real quick.

Speaker 5 On the way out, we could, yeah. Is that possible? The creek is on that side of town.
Let's do that. That's where you stopped on your way from Fort Endridge.

Speaker 5 So you would be able to see it as you're leaving town. Perfect.

Speaker 5 What if Fort Endridge got moved like the crack does?

Speaker 5 That'd be funny.

Speaker 1 So could I go up to the creek?

Speaker 5 Yeah. You know, you all begin leaving town in the direction of Fort Endridge, and you do come upon that creek.
You know, it's a pretty small creek. It seems to be kind of very soothing water.

Speaker 5 And, you know, you look at it and the water is almost kind of, I would say like it's a velvet colored water and it quietly churns and bubbles.

Speaker 5 When you look at it and the light hits it just right, it seems like it almost has a purple hue to it.

Speaker 1 Can I like scoop up a little bit of it and see if it reminds me or like, I think Doug's sense of smell would be pretty good. Because like smell is a really good memory trigger.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does it smell like any of the concoctions that they were working on in the crack test for sleep?

Speaker 5 Oh, interesting question. Uh, make me.
Hmm, I'll defer to you. Uh, intelligence or a wisdom check?

Speaker 1 I'll do intelligence.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 20, dirty 20.

Speaker 5 So how are you examining it, just so I can give you the appropriate answer?

Speaker 1 Smelling it, I would say.

Speaker 5 So you get a little bit in your hand and try to smell it? Yeah.

Speaker 5 So right away you can tell it's not the same because when you touch it, it's almost like sticky to the touch, whereas the fountain in the cractus was a very like clean water.

Speaker 5 This seems almost like more viscous and sticky. And when you smell it, it has kind of a sweet odor to it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Could Doug remember if he's like ever touched or smelled or seen this type of liquid before?

Speaker 5 I'll say without a roll, I'll give you this one. I would say yes.
This almost smells like a kind of a diluted wine. Oh.

Speaker 5 Maybe it's like waste or something from the leftover berries and things.

Speaker 1 Well, it almost seems like if all the water in this town is also like just a diluted wine, it seems like everyone is just constantly in this like state of being kept in this, like almost like a little tipsy, you know?

Speaker 5 Maybe they need like good plumbing or something. Like they need fresh water, not, you know, booze.

Speaker 1 Yeah, perhaps.

Speaker 5 Maybe that's just why the

Speaker 5 vine dresser lacks to or their temples here. Maybe that's why.
Maybe. I mean, if the people are happy, I guess we don't have to intervene.
But yeah, that seems like dangerous.

Speaker 5 It's just alcohol all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And as you look around, you know, besides the creek water, there is also a crumbling stone bridge and a ruined carriage.
And there are multiple animals near the riverbank. Are the animals drunk?

Speaker 5 They just fall over.

Speaker 1 Are they kind of like wobbling a little bit?

Speaker 5 Make an investigation check.

Speaker 5 That's a 15, 12. Yeah, the animals seem a little unsteady on their feet.

Speaker 5 It's that scene from Dumbo.

Speaker 5 Well, this feels like something that someone should fix, but not us.

Speaker 5 Go ahead and write that down. Take note of that private parts.
Private parts furrows his brow and writes it.

Speaker 1 Could Doug just take like a little bit in like a little

Speaker 1 container vial? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, like a sample to take back with you? Sure. Okay.
And you can probably write like Raisine Creek Water. That way we remember what it is.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I will say to you that when we realized that through our actions had somehow relocated the crack to this town, I was like, oh no, we might have ruined this town. I don't think we ruined this town.

Speaker 5 I think we raised the property values. I think we might have helped them, you know? Who knows? I don't know if they would know if we had.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 In the very least, we've provided like a storm shelter that will not crumble under like a tornado.

Speaker 5 Or we just provided the new temple for the vine dresser.

Speaker 5 All right. Party, move out.

Speaker 1 move out, and they wanted pruners, which is a funny word for that.

Speaker 5 I guess that makes sense. Like how you cut down pieces of a plant.
Were there any

Speaker 5 villagers who were stomping grapes and then they fell down and they went

Speaker 5 breathe

Speaker 5 in that video.

Speaker 7 Sleek here from Stinky Dragon, letting you know that this episode is sponsored by Chubbies.

Speaker 7 I've been living in Chubbies Everywhere pants lately, and I have to say, they're really perfect for anything. They're lightweight, water-resistant, and surprisingly durable.

Speaker 7 Just what you need for adventuring on the go. They're my go-to, whether I'm trying to get out the door to meet a friend for a cup of coffee or lounging around the house.

Speaker 7 They're a great mix of comfort and performance for travel, work, or weekends.

Speaker 7 And when paired with one of their flannel overshirts, the perfect layering piece for cooler months, the compliments just keep rolling in. Sleek the symphonious becomes sleek the stylish.

Speaker 7 Chubbies is bold, fun, and built for comfort. From everyday essentials to state-in-pieces, Chubby's has you covered all season long.

Speaker 7 For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our listeners 20% off your purchase at Chubbies with the promo code stinky at checkout.

Speaker 7 But if it's Black Friday, skip the code and take advantage of even bigger markdowns during their exclusive Black Friday sale.

Speaker 7 Just head to chubbieshorts.com and make sure to support our show and tell them we sent you.

Speaker 2 You may have heard of Hello Fresh.

Speaker 2 HelloFresh has doubled its menu. Now you can choose from 100 options each week, including seasonal recipes and dishes from around the world, dig into bigger portions that'll keep everyone satisfied.

Speaker 2 It's also healthier. Feel great with an even healthier menu.
Choose from more than 15 high-protein recipes each week with options like grass-pad ribeye or lamb chops.

Speaker 2 HelloFresh also helps you eat cleaner with new veggie packed recipes that have two or more veggies per dish and also it's tastier get steak and seafood recipes delivered each week for no extra cost that with three times the seafood option savor the season with hearty fall recipes like classic beef chili or honey glazed pork tenderloin discover new seasonal produce each week from leeks to broccolini to italian eggplant and more i've been using and depending on hello fresh for quite a while now and i think that it's a fantastic service and one of my favorite things is how it's for it's like a project i think i've said that that's my like my favorite thing about it is it's like step-by-step instruction I'm a dummy when it comes to cooking and it breaks it all down shows you exactly what you need to be doing and then when you're done you get to eat it plus everything tastes so good all the recipes are so great absolutely love it the best way to cook just got better go to hellofresh.com slash stinky dragon10 fm now to get 10 free meals plus a free breakfast for life one per box with active subscription free meals applied as a discount on first box new subscribers only varies by plan that's hellofresh.com slash stinky dragon 10 fm to get 10 free meals get it plus free breakfast for life

Speaker 6 hey everybody it's john stinky dragon's actual real father and i'm here as a father to talk to you about your finances so sit down we're going to talk about your money and your budgeting because i've looked it over and it's just not going as well as it could as well as i hoped for you but that's okay because i think it's because you don't have the right tools to do it so we're going to talk about chime see chime it's banking done right and with chime well what you can do is you can open a checking account but it comes with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees.

Speaker 2 Ain't that great?

Speaker 6 And also, with qualifying direct deposits, you are eligible for free overdraft up to $200. That's on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals, which is great.

Speaker 6 If you make a mistake, overdraft, you ain't going to be punished, okay?

Speaker 6 So this is something that I wish I had had access to when I was young and much stupider with my money. So I'm here to give it to you to help you out.

Speaker 6 So with QIIME, you can work on your financial goals today.

Speaker 6 You can open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash dragon. Make sure you go to chime.com/slash dragon.
Let them know we sent you because QIIME feels like progress.

Speaker 10 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Corp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members of FDIC.

Speaker 10 Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file.
These apply at out of network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs according to U.S.

Speaker 10 and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required.

Speaker 5 You begin your trek in the direction of Fort Endridge, and by now it is fully night, but the red sun is still present. How is it night when the sun stays up and is fixed? It's just

Speaker 5 how you would divide the day. I think at this point, it would be what would be commonly decided on, right?

Speaker 5 Like, I mean, we even have parts, parts of the world here that it's nighttime, but the sun is still out. Okay, yeah.
Better not be a flat Earth type situation. No, no, no.

Speaker 5 There's not a multiple sun situation where like one will go away, but the other will be like kind of a stagnant moon.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I got it. No, no, no.
The moon and stars are present, though. Okay.
Yeah, because this planet doesn't move. So you all arrive back after a bit of trekking.

Speaker 5 You arrive back at Fort Endrich, and as you're approaching, Private Parts chimes in and says, We should probably report to Sergeant Steel at HQ. Oh, I miss him.
I wonder how his voice is doing.

Speaker 5 Gus is getting ready.

Speaker 5 I nominate that our best note-taker be the one to debrief with Steel Eye. Before y'all make a joke, it's done.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you for dang it.

Speaker 1 Thank you for volunteering, Daddy. Oh, no, wait.
Our best note-taker is Private Parts, obviously.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 he's constantly taking notes.

Speaker 5 It sounds like I think Private Parts will debrief Sergeant Steel Eye, and we'll just be there listening and hear the recap of everything we just went through i think we could step away we could just let them talk to each other and you and all of us could just go like to the mess hall or something while they progress yeah i think it's a great idea

Speaker 5 private parts any thoughts uh we should all probably report to sergeant steel eye together but if you're happy either i could do the debrief or doug whatever you want i think you would be great at it private parts no no i think you're being modest doug you can you can help you can help us out just answer any questions steel eye has no i already uh nominated private parts

Speaker 5 okay private parts uh like kind of stands up straight and uh begins walking let him have his moment I was trying to give you a moment come on BT this way do you all follow private parts

Speaker 5 yeah I follow home sweet home what one of many homes over there is where a fire started and then over there's where we got fooled because there was someone there was like a skinwalker who was acting like someone they burned familiar with that over there's where they got accused of stealing fun all right so you you know, you all are back at Fort Endridge, which is the westernmost military base for the Mortalion.

Speaker 5 And it's where most recruits are sent to for basic training. It's where you guys performed your basic training oh so long ago.
Do you remember where HQ is? You've been there before.

Speaker 5 It's a two-story stone building, and there's four soldiers guarding outside of it.

Speaker 5 And the front door is obviously guarded, but you all are recognized as being members of the Mortalion, so you're able to walk straight in.

Speaker 1 Haddies, everybody!

Speaker 5 This is the building where the courthouse is where you went through your court-martial oh, so long ago as well. Fond memories.
Never forget. Attempted court-martial.
No. Yeah, true.
Okay. Fair enough.

Speaker 5 You're led to a room where Sergeant Steel Eye is overseeing some plans and looks up as you all walk in. Welcome back.
It's about time, B team.

Speaker 1 Oh, how I missed your sweet voice.

Speaker 5 Oh, my wife missed it too. I'm sure she's mad as heck right now.

Speaker 5 What does Mrs. Steel Eye do?

Speaker 5 What's her deal?

Speaker 5 And we're not here to talk about her. We're here to get a debrief on what's been happening.

Speaker 5 I'm curious, Sergeant Steeley, if you had to make an estimation, how long since we've been gone?

Speaker 5 Great question. That is a great question.
I think it's been a week. Has it been a week? That's it.
It's been.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's been roughly a week. Wow.
It's been one week since you looked at me.

Speaker 5 Feels more like a year. So let's have a little fun, B-team, with this debrief.
Why don't we play the alphabet game? You guys know the alphabet?

Speaker 1 The English alphabet.

Speaker 1 Somewhat familiar.

Speaker 5 Let's play it. Yeah, you all are going to debrief me one person at a time, one letter at a time, going through the alphabet.
Oh, God.

Speaker 5 I love it. That's great.

Speaker 5 On the conversation of how long it's been, I was going just through all my notes in my notebook to see how many. It's It's like 12 pages of notes.

Speaker 5 Not quite two pages a day. All right, so what we're gonna do is we'll play the alphabet improv game while debriefing the mission.
We're gonna take turns alphabetically by name.

Speaker 5 We're gonna go Barbara, Blaine, Chris John. First player is gonna speak a phrase beginning with the letter A, the next person B, so on.

Speaker 5 And we'll end the game when the group gets to the entire alphabet or when someone pauses too long or uses the wrong letter.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 You points at Doug. Hey, go.

Speaker 5 All righty.

Speaker 1 So we left left Fort Endrich and then went on our journey.

Speaker 5 And here's what happened next.

Speaker 5 Hey, how long is this episode supposed to be?

Speaker 5 Before we could get to Endrich Bay, we stopped off at

Speaker 5 the ruins of Raisine, where they were struggling to build things because they didn't have any wood. So we went to Teehee to see if we could give them wood.

Speaker 5 See,

Speaker 5 Can you believe that we

Speaker 5 next went and found some people pretending to be priests and

Speaker 5 wood? And then they became actually not that, where they were demons.

Speaker 5 And we fought them, fell down a hole, fell down other hole, and then ran and told here made peace with Raisine and the other people where they said, hey, take this wood, but they do not take that wood and use it very well.

Speaker 5 But then we met the uh baron nice got it next go everyone thought we were gonna lose our fight with the baron

Speaker 5 over game over

Speaker 5 b d d oh okay he talked so long i forgot what letter we're on

Speaker 5 oh what a what a pitiful debrief from b team oh

Speaker 5 Sometimes I wonder how you all even made it through basic training. Can't even get through the most important part of a debrief.
Debrief. The letter D.

Speaker 5 Nice, nice, nice.

Speaker 5 All right. Despite my best efforts, um, guests I'm pleased to tell you, you four have been promoted.
Woo!

Speaker 5 Where are we talking, Colonel, General?

Speaker 5 Are we at your level? Are we sergeants?

Speaker 1 Also, I just want to point out, we didn't really get through the debrief. Are you satisfied with the amount of information we told you about?

Speaker 5 I'll get the rundown for parts. Oh, okay.
Okay, cool. Each of you is promoted to corporal.

Speaker 5 Including private parts? Now, this is just me team. Well, I would like to formally submit a,

Speaker 5 you know, recognition to private parts. Without him, we could not have done such a good job.
I think that he should be corporal parts. Corporal P?

Speaker 5 Okay, all right.

Speaker 5 Yeah, corporal parts.

Speaker 5 Do you know what responsibilities come with being a corporal? I bet you're gonna tell us.

Speaker 5 You're right, Toll.

Speaker 5 Each of you gets a team of three privates to command.

Speaker 5 More NPCs. You sure about that? Oh, me? No.

Speaker 5 Well, that's up to them.

Speaker 1 Could I call dips on Private Pouts?

Speaker 5 Oh, dang it. No, you get new recruits.
Doug, your privates are right over here. Private Krumps, Private Salise, and Private Will Dorado.

Speaker 1 Will Dorado.

Speaker 5 Okay. Now, Doug, my old eyes can't see very well.
Why don't you help me figure out what they look like?

Speaker 1 You got it. Well, clearly, Private Crumped over here is a halfling, you know, a little bit on the shorter end of things.

Speaker 1 He's got,

Speaker 1 it looks like brown hair, but it's kind of in like a bust cut, so it's really short.

Speaker 1 And then a really, really big schnauzer on him.

Speaker 5 Sorry if you heard that, Private crumps

Speaker 1 he kind of looks down yes sir and then salith over here oh wow i i look they look maybe like they're an elf of some sort uh long uh long blonde hair unrelated to any other character we've ever met before who's an elf with long blonde hair

Speaker 1 totally distinct and uh a very pointy shoulders okay i like it good for a uniform wearing yeah and then finally will dorado for some reason they're wearing a cowboy hat i don't know why but that's just what I see when I hear Will Dorado.

Speaker 1 And it's got a big red scruffy beard.

Speaker 5 Love it. Sounds good.
Yeah, the

Speaker 5 like a cowboy hat wouldn't be part of uniform, but he seems to be pulling it off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, somehow. Maybe it's a contraband, but they allowed it in somehow.

Speaker 5 They wear it for religious purposes. Uh-oh.
The Dorado clan. Careful with the word contraband around Steel Eye.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 5 Okay. Oh, that really helps me, Doug.
Gunther. Yes, these are your privates.
Private Libby, Private Rodney, and Private Cersei.

Speaker 5 Why don't you help me figure out what these three knuckleheads look like?

Speaker 5 Yes, they look like muskrats. All three of them look like muskrats and they bear swords.
And I called them this, the three muskratiers. Jilli lets out a hearty guffaw and pats you on the back,

Speaker 5 Gunther. No, but seriously, specifically, what are they? Help me out.
They look like muskrats, they're like, like, humanoid, like, anthropomorphic warfare muskrats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 5 I thought maybe it was like a, like an insulting, lovingly, kind of ribbon kind of thing. I didn't realize it was, it was the actual description.

Speaker 5 That's why, that's why Steel Eye was also kind of laughing. Like, it's kind of like him insulting you.
So, I think that's why he kind of latched onto that. Okay,

Speaker 5 next up, Natty. Me and I present Private Electro, Private Allison, and Private Lars.
You want me to tell you what they look like? Yes!

Speaker 5 Well, Private Electro is quite a beautiful-looking humanoid woman with short, curly, brown hair. She's kind of covered in all this kind of

Speaker 5 like she's got her uniform, but then she's also got it kind of decorated with a little bit of some like silken

Speaker 5 coverwear.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. And Private Electro is actually, for some reason, they're like an older woman.
It must have been someone who decided to join the army a little late.

Speaker 5 And Private Allison is also an older woman, a little bit taller than Private Electro and kind of has like blonde, curly hair and a little bit bigger than a little longer cut than Electro's.

Speaker 5 And she's kind of wearing like a nice little kind of a bright blue pants suit with a big old belt with a big old belt buckle. Again, all over their uniform.

Speaker 5 Apparently these this trio was given some license to kind of decorate themselves a little bit. Although I think we have been too.
We don't not really wearing our uniforms, are we?

Speaker 5 We got a pirate, a fighter, and a bugbear. And then Lars, Lars is actually the tallest of them all.

Speaker 5 And Lars is actually also a humanoid old lady with like silvery white hair and is wearing these big old hoop gold earrings

Speaker 5 and has a pearl necklace with and kind of like a puffy scarf around her her neck as well. And she's also kind of wearing these like silky robes as well.

Speaker 1 Let's go, girls.

Speaker 5 You got some fancy privates there, Natty.

Speaker 5 Well, thank you.

Speaker 5 Cole, yes. Let me introduce you to Private Hunt, Private Not Wulu, and Private Smirgle.
Smirgrel. Private Smirgrel.
I can't say it right. Private Smirgrel.

Speaker 5 I look my troops up and down. Oh, yes, yes, very good, very good.
Shall I tell you how they appear? Yes, son. All right, well, this first one, very charming young man.

Speaker 5 He's got a buzz cut, very military cropped hair. That's Hunt.
And then Not Wulu. Oh, yes, they have...

Speaker 5 You know, they're really trying to grow out their hair. It's long and curly, but they have this big bald spot right down the middle.
And then, you know, hair on the sides.

Speaker 5 And then Smurgler here has a nice trim ball cuts yes very good very good look they sound familiar to you guys smurgler

Speaker 5 a little bit a little bit sorry i got steel eye on the brain it's the three stooges

Speaker 5 i was gonna do that if i didn't do the three muskratiers

Speaker 5 that's a good one that's a good one all right as corporals what are you gonna do with your privates son don't don't don't laugh at me

Speaker 5 what training or orders do you give to them? What are we gonna do with them? From a meta-perspective, you can treat them as a unit rather than dealing with individuals.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess, uh, you know, this is our first time as corporals, so, Starge and Steel Eye, what are our options?

Speaker 5 Well, you can send them to do training. You can pick it, give them orders, perform some kind of task around Fort Endrich.
Sky's the limit, Doug.

Speaker 1 Well, I think the first order of business is to get some training in for these guys. So, uh, Crump, Salith, Will Dorado, off to training with ye.

Speaker 5 The three of them give you a salute and run out the door very enthusiastically.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow, such power.

Speaker 5 You didn't even tell them where to go train. They left.

Speaker 1 I know. They seem to just know.
I like these guys already.

Speaker 5 Go-getter. Yeah, let's dig into that.
What kind of training?

Speaker 5 Well, first, Doug has to go catch them.

Speaker 5 They come back in, confused. They salute and they're like, what kind of training, sir?

Speaker 1 What kind of training? That's a great question.

Speaker 5 What kind of training would be important to Doug?

Speaker 1 Is there like a library or any type of place with like, I guess, documentation on the wars and the history and everything like that?

Speaker 5 Sure. Why don't I give you a quick rundown of the buildings here at Fort Endrich? This might be helpful for all of you.
It's been a while since y'all have been here. It's been a week.
It's been.

Speaker 5 So there's the gatehouse, there's the barracks, there's the mess hall, the cortege courtyard, the seesaw, which is where you all did some of your like it's the scrimmage indoor simulation area, the armory, and there's HQ.

Speaker 5 Within HQ,

Speaker 5 there are, of course, the war room, the Raven Room, the MP office, and the courthouse.

Speaker 1 I guess, would the war room have documentation and things that they could kind of study the history of?

Speaker 5 There's a lot of maps laid out on tables with battle miniatures. It's kind of like where the planning for future actions are made.

Speaker 1 I'd say it like I'd want them to go study the maps so they have a good sense of direction. Okay.

Speaker 5 So they salute you and then run over to another table here in the war room and begin pouring over maps and the lines as they stand now.

Speaker 1 Well, they make quick work of this.

Speaker 5 All right, Gunther, what do you

Speaker 5 do? Yes. Hello, hello, Muskratiers.

Speaker 5 There is someone who has done bad for Army. They are very bad, very bad.
And let me tell you, they are. He leans in close to Whisper.

Speaker 5 They have six toes on one foot and five on the other, and they are purple. And you shall try and find of them or find news of them.

Speaker 1 He already told his privates more than he ever told us.

Speaker 5 Wow, he's really grown on these young fellas.

Speaker 1 Question right away.

Speaker 5 Okay. Private Libby salutes you, Gunther, and says, We will report to the Raven Room and study any communications that may have come to look for evidence of this 11-toed individual.

Speaker 5 Yeah, secret mission. So the four of them run out of the war room.
They went to the Raven Room? Yes. All right, Maddie, what do you want to do? What order do you give? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 Electra, Allison, and Lars, your first bit of training is how to deal with an uncooperative and unruly prisoner, okay?

Speaker 5 So your job is to deal with Giggy for a bit

Speaker 5 and give mommy a break. Natty turns to Giggy and goes, now, baby, I want to be very clear.
I don't want you to be easy on them at all.

Speaker 5 I want you to take them through the ringer and you give them what for, okay? Do mommy proud.

Speaker 5 And at that point, Giggy just leaves like a like just walking chaos through the camp all right training starts now i think your privates would salute look at each other with some concern and then run out the door chasing giggy keep your hands away from his mouth

Speaker 5 i imagine that giggy like ran up a wall onto the roof did like a full 360 and then out the door

Speaker 5 in a blink of an eye just

Speaker 5 love it and natty just goes

Speaker 5 that's the first break I've gotten in quite a while. I like to think the second Giggy runs out the door, Natty's pulling out that bottle of wine.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Okay, Tolf, what about you? I want to check my shield. Anything happening?

Speaker 5 No. Your shield appears its normal state.
Okay, well, first of all, privates, I have something to tell you guys. And Steel Eye, I think you should be tuned into this as well.

Speaker 5 And then I pull off my face and reveal my comment. So there you go.
And first and foremost, be on your toes because anybody could be anybody.

Speaker 5 How does Steel Eye react from that? I'm going to make some rolls to determine that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I guess this is his first time seeing it too, right?

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hope you don't angry.

Speaker 2 It'll be fine.

Speaker 5 He loves me. Well, that's some intricate armor there, Toll.
Good on you. Pats you on the back.

Speaker 5 As far as your privates, private Smurgle looks to the side and, you know, gets a little sick, but then quickly regains his composure. Just vomits at the face.
Okay.

Speaker 5 uh i i slip my mask or my my face back on and i say okay now i want you guys to be in tip top shape i know fort indridge was described as being coastal is that referring to like indridge bay that's like farther towards the coast like the fort itself is not near any water right there is a moat around it and it's coastal in the sense that it's relatively close to the coast but yeah you are correct indridge bay is the actual city that's on the coast itself Okay, well, either way, I want you guys to do like a training montage.

Speaker 5 So, I want you running up and down the water, the moat, like on the beach. I want you to do strength training.

Speaker 5 I want you to do, you know, cardio, just all like boxing training, like all of the cool things while listening to like cool music, okay?

Speaker 1 Living vicariously through all of these guys.

Speaker 5 Yes, these are my, these are my kids, my children, my babies. Sir, can you sing us a quick little ditty of cool music so we know what to work out to, sir?

Speaker 5 That's Rocky 3.

Speaker 1 You should know this. He's going to keep going if you let him.

Speaker 5 Actually, that's Rocky 4. I'm sorry.
That's the one where he plays the Russian Ivan Drago. Anyways, if you die, you die.
Now get going. They salute and then run out the building.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think Tolf would like Rocky 4, right? There's a robot in that one. No, that's five, isn't it? The son has a robot? Four, that's four, I'm a robot in a Rocky movie.
Yeah, it gets real weird.

Speaker 5 Rocky's son gets a robot. It's a way of showing that Rocky's like, he just got a ton of money.
Wait, like, what kind of robot?

Speaker 5 So, Pauli gets a robot, and I think it's like a, it's like a, kind of like a, like Betty from Future the God. Like Jetsons? The Jetsons.
Yeah, it's like, like Rosie? Yeah, like Rosie.

Speaker 5 I think that this would be a great thing for us to talk about Second Wind, which is our bonus show available exclusively for patrons over at stinkydragonpod.com. I've never seen Rocky.

Speaker 5 We should have a quick aside. Blaine, let's make sure you and I are on the second win to dig into and talk about Rocky, specifically Rocky 4.
Perfect.

Speaker 5 But again, yeah, all levels of our paid Patreon tiers have access to that over at stinkydragonpod.com with the lowest level being $5 a month. What a deal.
Okay.

Speaker 5 All right. So you all have dealt with all of your the privates that are under your command.
Let's make some roles to see how they are all doing. We'll start again with Doug.

Speaker 5 Since you had them investigating and like looking at maps and whatnot, why don't you make me a

Speaker 5 let's call it a history check?

Speaker 1 History check on behalf of my privates. 21.

Speaker 5 Wow. Wow.
Okay. Gunther, you had yours going through communications and exchanges in the Raven Room looking for evidence or leads on the 11-toed person.

Speaker 5 Why don't you make an investigation check on their behalf to see what they're able to dig up?

Speaker 5 I want to re-roll. I rolled a four.
I want to use my

Speaker 5 inspiration. Die.

Speaker 5 Yes. Okay.
That's better. 12.
Nice. 12.
Above average. Above average.

Speaker 1 Your name, Tov.

Speaker 5 Oh, that is.

Speaker 5 Natty, what did you do with your privates? I don't remember. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Their team carried Giggy. Why don't we do animal handling for you? Let's see how that goes.

Speaker 5 That's offensive.

Speaker 5 And it's not, not, it's not untrue. That's a two.

Speaker 5 Perfect. And finally, Tov, you had yours working out here.
Why don't we make an athletics check to see how they're doing? Oh, this is plus six. Good, good, good, good, good.
Ooh, 13. Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're out there working out. And Mike is going to compose a montage song for them.

Speaker 5 I like how he just must mountains of work for other people.

Speaker 5 I say the thing, and Mike, that everyone waves his hands and he does the thing. You know, it's great.
Yeah, it's that easy.

Speaker 5 That easy. It's that easy.

Speaker 5 It's not. It's not.

Speaker 5 Doug, your privates come back to you with with a stack of maps showing you where the front lines are and with suggestions for deployments that can be made to try to advance the lines.

Speaker 1 Oh, excellent job, everybody. Salute.
And he does a little salute to them.

Speaker 5 They copy the salute back to you. Natty notices the maps all have the word reference on them and realizes they're not supposed to have taken those out of the library.

Speaker 5 Gunther, your privates come back and they present a stack of messages to you.

Speaker 5 Here you go. We found all the instances of toads that we could find in the Raven communications.
Oh, no.

Speaker 5 Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 5 In the distance, Natty, you hear the screams of your privates as they try to wrestle with Giggy. Lars didn't make it, did he?

Speaker 5 You hear specifically one of them yell, she said to keep your hands away from the mouth.

Speaker 5 Well, they gotta learn their lesson somehow.

Speaker 5 And told, after a bit, your privates return, and they look like they're exhausted after having completed a couple of laps around the moat and here that surrounds Fort Endridge. Oh, good work.

Speaker 5 That's a smell of hard work.

Speaker 5 And then I poke them in the eyes.

Speaker 5 That's how you salute. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Gunther, as you're looking through these messages referring to toads that have been presented to you, at the bottom of the stack, you see that there's actually messages intended for each of you, addressed to each of you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's a letter that has Toll's name, one for Natty, one for Doug, and one addressed to you, Gunther. We just got a letter.
Gunther opens it and hands it out to the others.

Speaker 5 Gunther, you open yours and hand the others their letters. And Gunther, yours is from Shannon.
There's only two sentences.

Speaker 5 Gunther pulls his friends close and says, My aunt Shannon, she says to be on my guard.

Speaker 5 What?

Speaker 5 Good luck. My aunt Shannon, she said to be on your guard.
We should be extra careful.

Speaker 1 Are you sure she's not saying like on guard like she wants to fight you again?

Speaker 5 Either way, you should be ready to fight. She's just lurking in the shadows waiting for guns.

Speaker 1 Waiting for you to open it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, she got like a ninja mask on on the ceiling.

Speaker 5 Doug, you have a letter that's addressed to you from the Council of Conservation. Thanking you for entering their contest.

Speaker 5 And they're asking, they were saying that they would love to hear more about your ideas for an invention.

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. Let me just.

Speaker 1 Is there like a return address that I could write them back on?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you could just send something back via the raven. A raven, just like Doug.
The raven.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Nevermore.

Speaker 1 Dear Council of Conservation, Doug is writing a letter back.

Speaker 1 I am currently working on an invention that I would like to submit for your approval. It's called the Echo Pulse Locator.

Speaker 1 It emits a soft sound pulses like bat echolocation to detect hidden animals without causing any panic and then also draws them into the device's location.

Speaker 5 Ooh, fancy.

Speaker 1 Yours, Doug Boon.

Speaker 5 Kisses, P.S.

Speaker 5 Miss you.

Speaker 5 If we have a little bit of downtime, maybe we can dig into actually crafting and getting the process started on that. Dug into.

Speaker 5 All right. So you, you know, write that and seal it and prepare it to send back via Raven.

Speaker 5 Natty, you have a missive from Troop Troop who would love to know more about your song idea, and and they're asking you to submit the first melodic line or lyric.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I totally prepared that and didn't forget that that was something that was coming down the line at all.

Speaker 5 So troop troops pirates, right? Yes. Okay, and they need a song just for like a theme song for themselves.
Is that what this is for? You need help coming with rhymes. There's group, poop,

Speaker 5 swoop, soup, scoop. Songwriter wanted.

Speaker 5 Troop Troop is looking for a songwriter of both talent and experience audition required payment negotiable interested parties should send Raven to Duke Okay, puke

Speaker 5 song. All right, I got I got a song for you if you got like a diddy or a line.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, I'm made of diddies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, why don't you sing it for us? Why don't you regale us with a ditty?

Speaker 5 I

Speaker 5 am.

Speaker 5 If you would just let me, I'm gonna sing my ditty. Okay, go ahead.
This is just this is just like the beginning of the song. Okay.

Speaker 5 We're gonna workshop the rest of this.

Speaker 5 Haven't gotten like to the chorus and hook yet. Okay.

Speaker 5 But I got a name for the song, the troop scoop.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a song that's about troop troop.
You know, get scoop on it. Okay.
Yes, yes. And it goes like this.

Speaker 5 Here we are, pirates, here to sing our song.

Speaker 5 We are troop troop here for you.

Speaker 5 Why don't you sing along oh

Speaker 5 and then it'll go into a whole thing where like they ask everybody to sing along with this song

Speaker 5 verse two

Speaker 5 i have an idea for the hook yeah a pirate hook

Speaker 5 yeah

Speaker 5 it's good

Speaker 5 when you started singing here we are i thought you were going gonna go into the highlander what's that one the highlander theme song here we are born to be kings we're the princes of the universe oh no one am i the only old person here you got bored of that movie so I couldn't be only one.

Speaker 5 It's not a very good movie. I just know that Sean Connery played a guy from Spain.
Yeah,

Speaker 5 there's also a TV show that was syndicated that ran for a while in the 90s. Was the TV show better?

Speaker 5 I liked the TV show, but I was also like 15 at the time, so I thought it was super cool. All right, cool.
Thanks, Nadie.

Speaker 5 You go ahead and prepare that and get ready to send that back via Raven as well. Okay.
Toll, that leaves you. I have a letter.
Yeah. It's a brief letter addressed to you from Elva.

Speaker 5 This is my first letter ever. She is informing you and getting you up to date with her journey to Tropicairn Island.
If you remember, both of you decided she should go there to investigate further.

Speaker 5 She informs you she snuck onto a ship traveling to Tropicairn Island as a stowaway. Told, I can't make it out.
What was the ship's name? Oh, that ship there was the...

Speaker 5 Oh, wow, now I feel like John being put on the spot.

Speaker 5 All you gotta do is come up with the name of a ship. This is a hard one.
I want to come up with something clever, but maybe something referential. What is the ship named from Jaws? Oh, what was that?

Speaker 5 The Orca.

Speaker 5 That's all right. She joined the Orca.

Speaker 5 The Orca, that's right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she snuck onto the Orca as a stowaway.

Speaker 5 And while traveling among foggy seas, the ship's crew got into an argument that led to a fisticuffs. An argument? Yeah, argument.
And it's blurry here. I can't read it.
What was the argument about?

Speaker 5 How did they resolve that? Oh, it was about Captain Crunch and whether or not he actually held the rank of admiral or captain. Oh, classic.
What did they decide?

Speaker 5 They decided that the berries are the best part of Captain Crunch. They got distracted and hungry and just started eating it.
They went on their berry way.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 They found common ground. That's a good way to settle an argument.
Yeah, half of the ship wanted just the yellow parts and then the other half wanted to oops all berries.

Speaker 5 Classic argument. She goes on to inform you that the ship should arrive in a day or so and that she'll send a follow-up Raven soon.

Speaker 5 So as I said, you know, you all are standing here in the war room and, you know, it's a circular stone room with a large, one large round table that you all are around and other smaller ancillary tables where Doug's privates went to go do their research and look at maps.

Speaker 5 And there's officers and aides in various positions standing and sitting all around the room.

Speaker 5 And as you all are here talking, looking over your letters, Gunther, you see something of a shadow flip past your peripheral vision. Make a perception check at disadvantage.

Speaker 5 Ooh, dirty-20. Nice.
Oh, nice. Very good perception.
You catch a quick glance of a creature prowling along the ceiling.

Speaker 5 It has multiple limbs and two sets of eyes, but it's difficult to make out its shape, almost like it's camouflage. And whoosh, it vanishes into the shadows.

Speaker 5 Once you're done training your privates, I'll get them out.

Speaker 5 You see Steel Eye pull a dart from his neck. Oh, God.
What the?

Speaker 5 Crash! One after another, all the officers in the room collapse to the floor unconscious. From behind you, a voice whispers, Time for your last Gunther.

Speaker 5 Here! The glint of nunchucks strike across your body with a wham.

Speaker 5 Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon. Gunther dies.
Dun dun dun. That's the end.

Speaker 5 Will Gunther live? Will Gunther die? Who will inherit Gunther's privates? Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.

Speaker 5 Oh, Jibs on Crones. Jib.
No, wait, no, that's. Jibs on Libby.
Dibs on Libby.

Speaker 5 Think it was a triplet pair. Thanks for listening, everyone, and don't forget to listen to the upcoming episode of Second Wind where we talk about Rocky IV.

Speaker 1 Get ready to spookify your wardrobe with our fantastic Halloween-themed apparel available now at store.stinkydragonpod.com.

Speaker 1 We've resurrected the T-Nix from the Peace Day Parade in Groteth, including ghoulishly good designs like Frankenstein Say Relax, Three Werewolves Howling at Two Moons, and the eternally charming Kiss Me I've Perished.

Speaker 1 You can snag these spectral styles on t-shirts, crew necks, hoodies, and even mugs. Don't be a scaredy cat.

Speaker 1 Head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com and pick up some spooktacular merch before it vanishes.

Speaker 1 New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.

Speaker 1 Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free?

Speaker 1 You could support us by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or join as a member on beacon.tv. Both give you early, ad-free access and a members-only Discord for each platform.

Speaker 1 Looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show.

Speaker 1 Just like Wolfburns, Cindy Rowe, Deborah Murphy, Ozzie13, and Sammy Madsen Olson.

Speaker 1 These patrons directly support the show, get ad-freed episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Win and Behind the Screen, and other stinky perks.

Speaker 1 Stinky perks like this sneak peek of our latest Tavern Tale Groteth Death House.

Speaker 5 You see a shadowy figure dart down an alleyway. Ooh.

Speaker 5 Wait, so they took my coin burst then? They took all my monies?

Speaker 5 Seems like they might have. You can't find it.
All right, I say, stop in the name of the law, and then I run after them. I give chase.

Speaker 5 You chase the shadowy figure down an alleyway and you turn the corner and you find two small children at a wrought iron gate. It seems like they're trapped in a dead end.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 5 I walk up and I say, hey there, little guys.

Speaker 5 Tamitcha, Payney, pleasure to meet you.

Speaker 5 And I see you took my money purse there. And I slowly deploy my arm blade of the Blurling.
And I say, I'm going to tell you the story about how I threatened to kill old Henry at the university.

Speaker 5 Okay, let's not have this happen to you. So let's just give you that money back because I spent a lot of my blood, sweat, and tears, but mostly my blood on it.

Speaker 5 The little girl looks really scared and she says, I'm sorry, mister. And she hands out the bag out with her hand.
Oh, that was easy. No intimidation check? Not at all? No.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 5 Armblade of Blurbling does it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Listen, little children.

Speaker 1 You can't go stealing around from people, alright? It gives us a bad rep. People are gonna think kids are all, you know, mischievous and doing things that they shouldn't be doing, so you know.

Speaker 5 We don't want to. We need to give it to the monster in the basement of our house so to keep it from coming and getting us.

Speaker 1 You got to pay a monster from stopping to come to you?

Speaker 5 Yes, it'll come and eat us if we don't give it money. So, that monster, there's that's called a landlord, all right? So, what you're going to do is you're going to go to your local authorities.

Speaker 5 It craves hemo pieces. Yeah, that sounds like a landlord.

Speaker 1 Once again, that's stinkydragonpod.com. We are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible.

Speaker 1 Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them.

Speaker 1 The Wilderflower, voiced by BK, our friend at Black Crystal. Cobb, named after Cobb, voiced by Cameron Fletcher at Cameron.fletcher on Instagram.
Connor, named after TrueFuzzy, voiced by Ryan Haley.

Speaker 1 Ryan's Shorts on Instagram and YouTube and Ryan PlusExperience on Twitch. Private Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben.

Speaker 1 Rene Zeus, named after Renee DeJesus, voiced by James Willems and Zach Anner, who are at james.willems and at zach.anner from the Answer for It podcast at Answer For It Show.

Speaker 1 Tanzu, named after Jersher. Sergeant Steele Eye, named after Sergeant Steele82.

Speaker 1 Private Crompf, named after Captain Crompth. Private Celesti, named after Celesi.s.

Speaker 5 Private Will Dorado, named after Will Dorado.

Speaker 1 Private Libby, named after Libby Brown. Private Rodney, named after Rodney Ross.
Private Cersei, named after Cersei. Private Electro, named after Bob underscore Electro.

Speaker 1 Private Allison, named after Allison. Private Lars, named after Drax Lars.
Private Hunt, named after Alice Hunt.

Speaker 5 Private Not Wulu, named after Not Wulu.

Speaker 1 And finally, Private Smirgle, named after Smirgle 3495.

Speaker 1 Thank you all so much for being wonderful patrons of the Stinky Dragon podcast. This week's arrow question was submitted by Sandria.

Speaker 1 This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Speaker 1 Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 5 What's up, what's up? It's Toll on the ones and zeros. That's binary.
That's right. Oh, yes, we got a full show planned for you guys today.
Everybody is letting low go of their fluids.

Speaker 5 And for some reason, I am dry, so I'm going to sit here and entertain you for the time being.

Speaker 5 Let me see. What do we have in front of us today?

Speaker 5 We got paper. Okay.
And then we've got we've got a pin, we got a writing instrument, so I'm gonna draw a picture, okay. This will be fun, all right.

Speaker 5 Yes, oh, that's nice, it's a it's a hashtag, uh, hashtag. Let me see, I'm gonna put some X's and O's.
That's right, I'm playing tic-tac-toe with myself, isn't that fun? Isn't that weird? Uh,

Speaker 5 okay,

Speaker 5 and that's a cat game. I don't know what they call it the cat game, but uh, here we are.
Wow, that's been 12 on the ones and zeros. We'll catch you next time When there will just- What? Oh, Doug!

Speaker 5 Wait a minute. I'm just checking out the equipment.
I'm just

Speaker 5 going on my side.

Speaker 1 You sat in my chair. The butt print that I've been leaving in this studio chair is now nothing molded to my butt.

Speaker 5 It's so farly comfortable. I just, I'm just digging into it.
It's just so nice, you know, lumbar and whatnot.

Speaker 1 We're gonna have to call security.

Speaker 5 Oh, no. Oh, no.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'll let it slide this time. As long as you'll be a guest on a future episode of Dubs on the ones and twos equals three.

Speaker 5 Yes, yes, of course.

Speaker 5 The post-show to that post-show told from the ones and zeros. It's a binary joke, you see.
Oh, I get it.

Speaker 1 Mine was a math joke. Here's a binary joke.

Speaker 5 Yes, I'm a robot.

Speaker 1 Excellent.

Speaker 5 Beep-boop.

Speaker 5 Wait, what?

Speaker 9 The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft.

Speaker 9 But LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, our U.S.-based restoration specialists will fix it guaranteed or your money back.

Speaker 9 Don't face drained accounts, fraudulent loans, or financial losses alone. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with Life Lock.
Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com/slash podcast.

Speaker 9 Terms apply.

Speaker 5 By the way,

Speaker 5 the album of the fall. Eldora is the album your friends are listening to.
After the game and around the fire, your soundtrack is waiting. Listen now.