C03 - Ep. 30 - From On Hyra - Revelation of Renéesús

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Speaker 6 Previously, our adventurers arrived on the scene of the ruins of Reisine, but after some constructive conversation with Cobb and other compadres, they ended up exiting to their endpoint of Fort Endridge.

Speaker 6 The party was promoted and put in charge of privates, but their proceedings were put on hold when a prowling perpetrator proclaimed their lesson planned for Gunther.

Speaker 6 Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this Gassy Goss.

Speaker 6 Ooh, that's a heck of a tongue twister there. Gassy.
Do you think there's an alternate world where Micah would have been a rapper?

Speaker 6 He is currently. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Also, I'm a gassy gossip. What's up, y'all?

Speaker 6 Welcome to the Gassy Goss. I'm your stink master, Gustavo Sarola.
I'm going to hit our four gas bags with an arrow.

Speaker 6 Listen, this episode is really trending high with the 10-year-olds. We don't know why.

Speaker 6 How does your character relax or wind down for the day? That was sent by multiple people: RPG Freaky, Pisco Business, and Hub. Everyone go and roll a D20 and let's get to it.

Speaker 1 Six, one,

Speaker 6 sixteen.

Speaker 10 Seven.

Speaker 6 All right, so it's going to be Tov, Gunther, Doug, Natty.

Speaker 6 Well, hello, I'm Blaine Gibson, and I play Tove. You who it's me, Tove.
I am a Thaumatech barbarian, and I am a level six.

Speaker 6 And uh, oh, sometimes when I like to wind down, I, you know, let my hair loose.

Speaker 6 And by that, I mean take off my skin skin that belonged to my adopted father and i hang it out you know and i i i nourish it with lotions and

Speaker 6 all these things to you know help it to last longer and then i like to take an oil bath to like c3po you know to to make my joints feel nice and loose

Speaker 6 yeah and sometimes i employ doug to do maintenance on my body because I am a robot.

Speaker 1 I've seen so many things.

Speaker 6 And he loves it. It's such a bonding experience for being a dog.

Speaker 1 I feel closer to you, Toll.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Against my will.

Speaker 6 So Doug knows where the off button is.

Speaker 1 I'll never tell.

Speaker 6 This is the second time that you have mentioned the off button. It's very concerning.

Speaker 1 I also, I liked the idea of you washing your skin and accidentally putting it in the dryer and it shrinks and you can't get back on the skin.

Speaker 6 I bleached it. Oh, no.

Speaker 6 Who put the red t-shirt in with my skin?

Speaker 6 Which one of you did this? Is that how Told gets a sunburn? It's like just ink all over. Yeah.
Oh, man. I love that.
Thanks, Told.

Speaker 6 Appreciate that. We learned a little bit about you.
Who did I say was next after that? Next, we got Gunther. Oh, wow.

Speaker 10 Hi, I'm Chris Damaris.

Speaker 6 My mom. Are you going to be able to do that? You surprised him like that, Gus.
Why are you surprising him?

Speaker 6 You gotta warn Chris. The Croat folk fighter.

Speaker 10 And I'm, of course, level six.

Speaker 6 Of course, level six.

Speaker 10 What I do to relax is, of course, I like to burrow. You all know that I find a nice cool spot and I burrow in and I relax and take a little burrow nap

Speaker 6 and then

Speaker 10 and then I like to I like to read where I will I have um some some uh text that is important for for me and my village that I read people magazine

Speaker 6 Barbara took an inspiration dodge.

Speaker 6 What was that? She said people magazine.

Speaker 10 A book is important for my people, which is about the wilder flower and

Speaker 10 what we must do.

Speaker 10 And then, if I'm not doing that, then I just read books for fun.

Speaker 1 Why did I notice about you?

Speaker 10 Because I'm always burrowed in a hole.

Speaker 6 You can't see.

Speaker 6 But I read books.

Speaker 10 I have a few favorite books.

Speaker 6 Like what?

Speaker 6 What kind of books? Is it any of my not books? Yes, I was going to ask you, no, it's a knot books.

Speaker 10 No, no, no, no. No, it is not.

Speaker 6 That's enough. No's.
Okay, you don't have to rub it in.

Speaker 10 There's the Fellowship of the Spring.

Speaker 10 Oh, that's a good one. I heard of that one.

Speaker 6 For whom the Croak tolls. Oh.

Speaker 10 And then, of course, the Art of War Ter Lilies.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 6 you got me there. Those are good.

Speaker 6 Those are pretty smart. No, you've read them.
No, I've heard of them. I haven't read all of them.
Cool. All right.
We learned a little bit about Gunther and his burrowing activities.

Speaker 6 Very, very much sounds like an introvert kind of person. Burrow.

Speaker 6 Thanks, Gunther.

Speaker 1 I like how you saying burrow sounds like a ribbit.

Speaker 6 Burrow. Burrow.
All right. That's it for Gunther.
I hope I don't surprise the next person. Doug.

Speaker 1 I knew it was me.

Speaker 1 I knew I was third, and we had two people go already, so that would mathematically place me next.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 1 So math checks out she did the math or he did the math astounding uh hello everyone i'm barbara dunkelman and i play doug boone the bugbear artificer and of course level six as well

Speaker 1 and and doug actually has like a whole a whole nightly routine that he does to uh to wind down uh first

Speaker 1 he takes a nice long bubble bath and really uh gets it on his fur, scrubs it nice and well, makes sure, you know, the dirt's out of there, it's all fresh.

Speaker 1 And then he takes about about two and a half hours to comb out all the fur.

Speaker 1 It's really tough after it's wet, and he's got to make sure it dries nice, so that takes a while, but it's very relaxing and meditative, so he enjoys it.

Speaker 1 And then Doug likes to journal about his whole day, analyzing every single moment from top to bottom.

Speaker 1 That takes another two and a half hours, unfortunately. He's really into it.
And then Doug also likes to read. You know, he winds down with, you know, like a novel or two, perhaps, each night.

Speaker 1 That only takes about 25 minutes. So

Speaker 6 how long does it take you to rehearse social interactions for the next day?

Speaker 1 I do that in the morning.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 It sounds like your day is pretty much you start winding down as soon as you get out of bed because the process takes so long.

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 When I wake up in the morning, I review my notes, my journaling from the previous night, and then I set myself up for success in the next day.

Speaker 6 I have a very similar

Speaker 6 routine than Doug. Sitting there and analyzing,

Speaker 6 thinking about all the social interactions. Did I say something wrong? Do you have any books that you've read recently that you enjoy, Doug?

Speaker 1 Uh, yes, I actually read all of uh Toll's notch books that he highly recommended.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 6 yeah, yeah, riveting stuff, I know. Riveting, uh, very good.
I thought I spotted a cord of nuts and bolts in your bag the other day.

Speaker 1 Gustavo, you're not supposed to see that. That's just for me.

Speaker 1 Listen, Doug's got to unwind some way, Onado.

Speaker 6 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. No judgment, just uh, I was was curious if it was any good.

Speaker 6 All right.

Speaker 6 Thanks a bunch.

Speaker 6 I appreciate that, Doug. And finally, last up, no surprise, we've got Natty.

Speaker 6 No surprise at all. No surprise.
Hey, everybody, it's John Rice here, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlocked drag queen mother.

Speaker 6 And I guess that also sounds like I should have like drag queen daughters. No, you should.
Anybody want to be my drag queen daughter?

Speaker 1 I'll give it a shot.

Speaker 6 Me, me, me. Every night, I do have, I do have quite a bit that I like to do in order to wind down.
First, of course, is

Speaker 6 I like to take off all my makeup. That takes roughly three to four hours.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 6 And then after, you know,

Speaker 6 before I do that, actually, I like to give Gigi his nighttime energy drink so he sleeps well.

Speaker 6 And then I do all my makeup and, you know, I put my wig in its pressure atmosphere controlled case that I keep in order to preserve it it perfectly for every single day.

Speaker 6 And then what I actually like to do is I like to journal a little bit, but I like to I like to like try to write lyrics for little songs about what happened during the day is like a little practice for writing songs.

Speaker 6 And so, you know, I'll write songs about, you know, writing in my journal, oh, Gunther being mysterious and weird again. I guess I should add another chorus to that song and

Speaker 6 writing a song about Doug and his luscious locks and his beautiful hair.

Speaker 1 I can't wait for you to perform this at the end of

Speaker 1 all of this.

Speaker 6 It's going to be a rock opera at the end of our journey together.

Speaker 6 But yeah,

Speaker 6 I like to write little songs, little ditties. No Toll songs, huh?

Speaker 6 No, no, Toll.

Speaker 6 I was watching Blaine the whole time you were saying that.

Speaker 6 Me and Gunther.

Speaker 1 And Blaine just waited patiently.

Speaker 6 I've noticed you try to make everybody's answer today about you.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 that's Blaine. That's Blaine.

Speaker 6 Gus, I'd like to request an inspiration dice for getting Blaine to break character and go into Blaine.

Speaker 1 Blaine just wants to be loved.

Speaker 6 We did a thank you video to somebody forever ago. It was so like, I can't even remember the context.

Speaker 6 And Gus said, way to make it about you, because I said something about, I appreciate how you do this with me. And Gus was like, oh, yeah, so about you, huh? It has stuck with me ever since.

Speaker 6 Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 I don't don't even remember that. That's so funny.
I think about it all the time.

Speaker 1 Guys, are we actually real performers if we aren't self-centered? No, I mean,

Speaker 6 that's true. That's true.

Speaker 6 Anyway, let me talk.

Speaker 6 No, my favorite part about that was you got Blaine to break character and he like looked down and looked away. Like, no one will ever see that.
It was

Speaker 6 the crushing weight on him as he made the realization. His shame.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Very good.

Speaker 1 Blaine, you are loved. Don't worry.

Speaker 6 No, thank you. All right.
Thanks, everyone. Learned a lot about your routines.

Speaker 6 And as you all are here talking, looking over your letters, Gunther, you see something of a shadow flip past your peripheral vision. Make a perception check at disadvantage.

Speaker 6 Ooh, dirty-20. Nice.
Oh, nice. Very good perception.
You catch a quick glance of a creature prowling along the ceiling.

Speaker 6 It has multiple limbs and two sets of eyes, but it's difficult to make out its shape, almost like it's camouflaged. And whoosh, it vanishes into the shadows.

Speaker 6 Once you're done training your privates, I'll get them out.

Speaker 6 You see Steel Eye pull a dart from his neck. Oh, God.
What the?

Speaker 6 Crash. One after another, all the officers in the room collapse to the floor unconscious.
From behind you, a voice whispers: Time for your lesson. Got that? Yeah!

Speaker 6 The glint of nunchucks strike across your body with a wham.

Speaker 6 Oh my gosh. Are we about to fight ninja toads?

Speaker 6 How old are they? Teenage mutant ninja toads. Teenage mutant ninja toads.

Speaker 1 Tiny toads and a half, Shale.

Speaker 6 You're seeing that melody backwards, so it's a

Speaker 6 note.

Speaker 6 The melody, not the lyrics.

Speaker 1 And if people listen to this backwards, you won't be right.

Speaker 6 Oh no, it's Rem Brandt, Picasso,

Speaker 6 Monet, and Gali.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Golly.

Speaker 6 Gunther, go ahead and make me a strength saving throw. Is Gunther gonna die? 12.

Speaker 10 I'm not the strongest.

Speaker 6 I'll give you the option to make a dexterity saving throw instead if you want. Oh, yeah, I'll take that.
You're not the strongest, but you're the bravest.

Speaker 10 I rolled a 10, so instead of a 12, that'd be a 15.

Speaker 6 Okay. I forgot that you're a finesse fighter.
I know you're a fighter, so I was thinking strength, but yeah, for you, it's dexterity.

Speaker 1 When I think of Chris, I think of one word. It's finesse.

Speaker 6 No, no.

Speaker 10 It's pronounced a mess.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 6 fine S.

Speaker 6 A mess. So you were standing there and the nunchuck came out of nowhere and hit you doing 19 points of bludgeoning damage.
Oh,

Speaker 1 ouchie. Nunchucks, huh?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Before you, you see what appear to be two thodes conjoined at the hip, and they're wearing masks with slits for eyes and a full black bodysuit that appears to like cause light to disappear and it makes them blend into their environment stealthily.

Speaker 6 They're attached? Yeah, it appears like they're attached at the hip and they're moving completely in sync. Oh, cool.

Speaker 10 Do I have I seen anything like this before? And have I seen thodes before? Like, is Gunther familiar with thodes?

Speaker 6 Make a history check for the first part of that question and I'll answer the second one.

Speaker 10 Okay, my history check was six.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 As far as thodes, your aunt was a thod. Oh, okay.
I've already forgotten her, huh? Yeah, you have seen them before. I thought she was a crowpole.
Remember, bigger, thicker. Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like a thick toad.

Speaker 6 And you've never seen anything like this before. They're obviously very strong martial fighters, which, you know, that's a, you're very familiar with.

Speaker 6 But you've never seen anything, any creature move like this so in sync. It is time for your lesson, Gunther.

Speaker 10 I've been waiting for my lesson. Eight guard.

Speaker 6 Everyone, let's go and roll initiative just to get everyone involved here. Gunther, is this like your brother?

Speaker 6 Is this how you, you know, after we met your aunt and she assaulted you, I'm assuming this is tradition of some sort?

Speaker 10 No, I do not know them at all, but apparently they are teachers No, no,

Speaker 6 they're underpaid

Speaker 6 They bought their own school supplies Oh, that's depressing 14 18 19 22 so I think it goes 12 Gunther Doug Naddy Doug ran those numbers twice Well, I yeah, I uh implemented them in my calculator

Speaker 6 And then I'll roll for the mysterious figure figures as well.

Speaker 6 Seven, right? Thick. Toll,

Speaker 6 you see this scene unfolding in front of you. Before you do anything, why don't you help me describe this room a little bit? Right now, you know, you're in the Fort Endrich headquarters.

Speaker 6 It's a circular stone room with a large round table. We talked about how it had a map showing the front lines and whatnot.

Speaker 6 And before this started, there was a lot of chatter going on, but now all the officers and aides seem to be unconscious on the floor.

Speaker 6 What else does Tov notice about this room? Oh, it's got, you know, pink shag carpet, lava lamps every five feet or so.

Speaker 6 There's a couple of disco balls.

Speaker 1 This is Steel Eyes bedroom, isn't it?

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, you know, it's the officer's quarters. There's a coin slot to make the table in the middle rotate on a circle.

Speaker 6 I think Tov has his Studio 54 filters enabled. I think we need to disable those before

Speaker 6 proceeding.

Speaker 1 Do you have filters in your eyeballs since you're like a robot guy?

Speaker 6 Oh, Micah, can we do that? I want like infrared.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, maybe I'll work on that for you, Tolf.

Speaker 6 Oh, new eyeballs. Score.

Speaker 6 All right. What do you want to do, Tolv?

Speaker 6 After I'm done admiring the shag carpet, I want to...

Speaker 6 I'm going to see if I can make a move towards the thodes and hit them with my gavel of Gaelstrom. Ooh.
Yeah. Two-handed.
That's a luck. 10.

Speaker 6 Believe it or not, it's a miss. Bummer.
Okay, I have two attacks, so I'll take another swipe. 16.
They deftly step aside, dodging your gavel.

Speaker 6 Like, you know, that matrix move where they lean backwards in bullet time? It's like that, except they're both doing it at the exact same time. Your gavel swings missing over them.
With a good.

Speaker 6 Okay, well, um, let me see. I guess I could do a bonus action, but I don't really have anything in mind.
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna call it there. I'm just gonna admit defeat on that one.

Speaker 6 I'm just gonna

Speaker 6 swing around, swing one, swing twice, and then I'm gonna just admire one of the lava lamps. Oh, this is nice.
Oh, taking the L. Yep, yep.
Wow.

Speaker 6 After dodging your attack, your adversary just scoffs at you.

Speaker 6 Pathetic.

Speaker 6 Okay, well, that was insult to injury. Okay.

Speaker 6 Actually, you didn't injure them at all, so it was just insult.

Speaker 6 Thank you, Nadi.

Speaker 6 Gunther, you're up. Okay.

Speaker 10 Could I attempt to jump and flip over and get to behind them?

Speaker 6 Yeah. Do you have like a...
Is that like a move of yours?

Speaker 10 Just adding flair to it.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay. Ooh.

Speaker 10 I would just like flip, jump, flip, and then attack from behind. And while I'm in the air, I want to go

Speaker 10 and then use a use my second wind. Use my second wind and regain one D10 plus six.

Speaker 6 Okay, just because you're flipping, make me an acrobatics check.

Speaker 6 While you're saying that, I was like, I know what Gus is going to do here.

Speaker 6 That's why I'm asking, like, is there an ability? Like,

Speaker 6 what's going on here? How are we doing this?

Speaker 10 Let's try this acrobatics.

Speaker 6 Oh, man. Oh, no.

Speaker 10 All right, so I rolled a two, but I have a plus eight, so that's a 10.

Speaker 6 Okay. You see, Chris, Gus doesn't reward tomfoolery.
Whenever you think you're doing something that's like finesse or, you know, adding a little flair, he likes to punish that behavior. So.

Speaker 6 Listen, we have rules here that we have to follow.

Speaker 6 I'm not saying it's a a bad thing. I'm just saying, you know, my years of Khyborg, it's...

Speaker 6 I know this experience well. Don't be surprised if you end up on the ground getting pummeled.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you make your jump, and maybe you're focusing a little too much on your second wind and recovering, but you almost failed a landing. You barely managed to catch your feet under you

Speaker 6 and find yourself standing on the other side. And how much HP did you get back? 13.
That's pretty good. That's almost all back.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 And then I go, the only thing I want you to teach me is where is the six-toed villain or 11-toed, depending upon how many feet toes you're counting in total.

Speaker 10 And then I want to attack. Oh man, I rolled a one plus eight.
That's nine.

Speaker 6 Lots of critical fail. Yeah, you just rule out the rest of that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I hate this. It's funny.
It's like you get called on by the teacher to say something and you just like totally freeze. You can't get anything out.

Speaker 6 Your mouth stops working temporarily and then you call your teacher mom and everyone laughs at you.

Speaker 6 Well, been there. All right.
Yeah. You try to strike with your rapier and you, you know, you try to stab with it, but it kind of, you know, again, maybe you were stumbling a little bit.

Speaker 6 Maybe your palms are a little sweaty and the rapier just kind of like droops out of your hand.

Speaker 6 And as you try to stab forward with it, it points down and you just hit the ground in front of your own feet. Like it stabs you down.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Am I disarmed?

Speaker 6 No, no, you still have it in your hand. Okay.
But yeah, I'm just trying to describe an embarrassing scenario for you. Okay.

Speaker 10 Well then.

Speaker 7 Oh, shucks.

Speaker 6 Second attack. And then

Speaker 10 try and use my second attack to get him. All right.

Speaker 6 Careful of the shag carpet to go into.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you get blood in that, it's no coming out.

Speaker 10 21.

Speaker 6 Nice. Oh, that actually does hit.

Speaker 10 Yes, yes, yes, yes. I rolled a one, but I'm going to reuse my whatchamacallit skill to re-roll re-roll that.

Speaker 6 I need to know

Speaker 6 what the skill is. It's the whatchamacallit skill, guys.
Whatchamacallit skill? I don't see that in the rulebook. It's not here in the index.

Speaker 10 Piercer. Once per turn, when you hit a creature attack that deals piercing, you can re-roll one of the attack's damage dice.

Speaker 6 Okay, and you must use the new roll.

Speaker 10 Yeah, but I rolled a one, so.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it can't be any worse.

Speaker 10 Yeah, so that's a 12.

Speaker 6 Nice.

Speaker 13 And then I want to use...

Speaker 10 Oh, wait, I already used my bonus section. Dang it.
Never mind.

Speaker 6 I don't want to do that.

Speaker 6 Alright, well,

Speaker 6 I'm done.

Speaker 10 I'll take the 12 damage.

Speaker 6 You'll take it? I do have much to learn. You're right.

Speaker 10 I reasoned by previous comment.

Speaker 6 Alright, you lash out with your rapier after the embarrassing failed attack and move to strike the foe in front of you with it.

Speaker 6 But they very quickly pull out a psych from their garments and catch your rapier. Are they tired?

Speaker 6 And they redirect it back to you, and the rapier pokes yourself in the shoulder.

Speaker 6 And you take three points of damage from your own weapon. Oh, no.
I should have not re-rolled and just...

Speaker 6 It would have hurt less. It would be a shame to kill you.
I agree.

Speaker 6 All right. That is it for Gunther.
Doug, you're up, and after Doug is natty. Doug, before you attack, why don't you tell me about something in the room? You know, this room you're in.

Speaker 6 Why don't you give me an element? Why don't you describe something that Doug would notice going on in this room?

Speaker 1 It seems like there's like wallpaper on the walls, but it's kind of peeling off a little bit.

Speaker 6 Ah, needs some repair.

Speaker 1 It seems like there's maybe like messages written under it or something like that.

Speaker 6 Ooh.

Speaker 6 Nice.

Speaker 1 All right. Can I ask what these guys look like? Like, what color are they?

Speaker 6 You can't tell because they're totally covered in this black suit. All you can see is like the slits around their eyes.
Okay, gotcha.

Speaker 1 I'm going to keep it simple. I would like to cast guidance.
Am I close enough to Gunther where I could touch him?

Speaker 6 You can be. Okay.
Like, if not, you could move yourself to be close enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I want to move up to just like tap Gunther on the shoulder and be like, listen, man, I see you're really struggling here.

Speaker 1 And it seems like these guys have it out for you, so I just wanted to help you out.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 10 At first, Gunther, when you touch him on the shoulder, it goes, oh,

Speaker 1 like, sorry, I know my hand is really big.

Speaker 6 Now, Barbara, did Doug do any flips on the way there to kind of match Gunther's finesse?

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 1 yes, he did a stomassault.

Speaker 6 The fur gets tangled in the shag carpet, and uh, Doug is just laying on his back, entangled in shag. No, it's all static electricity from the roll.

Speaker 6 So when he comes out of the roll, it's everything out. When he touches him, it goes, you know, like a little slow.

Speaker 1 Also, the guidance is only for ability slash skill checks. Okay.
So just in case that comes up,

Speaker 1 that will be my turn, but my steel defender is there.

Speaker 1 So Gambott's going to emerge as well. What does that sound like?

Speaker 1 We haven't used him in a while.

Speaker 6 Sounds like a monkey.

Speaker 1 A robot monkey he's been listening to giggy and he's trying to emulate him

Speaker 6 don't do that

Speaker 1 so he comes out and he is going to roll up to the thodes plural and he is going to do a force empowered rend melee attack which is a plus seven What do you attack with?

Speaker 6 Oh, oh,

Speaker 6 this is a gambot.

Speaker 1 Gambot.

Speaker 1 That is a 22. Wow.

Speaker 6 That's impressive. Yeah, I mean, that would hit.

Speaker 6 That does. 28 plus 3.

Speaker 1 So 6 points of damage.

Speaker 6 Six. Ugh.
Do I want to take that?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'll take it.

Speaker 1 Okay. And then he rolls back and he kind of like bounces his little head to make him look tough.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 6 You get him, Gambot.

Speaker 6 Is there anything else or is that it for Gambot?

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 6 All right, that is it for Doug. Up next is Natty.
Then after Natty is your enemy, then we go back to Toll.

Speaker 6 John, before Natty goes, why don't you tell me something that Natty would notice in this room that apparently is a nightmare of interior design?

Speaker 6 I mean, that's a subjective opinion at that point. No, no, this is objective.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Natty

Speaker 6 starts looking around, just kind of taking in the room, and she notices a few wet spots on the floor that she's going to have to clean up later. Biggie.

Speaker 6 Carpet's going to really soak that all up if she doesn't get to it quickly.

Speaker 6 I can smell this visual.

Speaker 1 Is he not wearing his diaper?

Speaker 6 He is. It's just right now it's on his head for some reason.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Plus, remember, he grew. He's too big for them now.
Natty hasn't got a chance to get the new bigger ones.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Anyway, I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 So, what would Natty want to do here in this scenario? So, I get why everyone else is joining in on the fight. Like, I understand that motivation of assisting Gunther being attacked.

Speaker 6 But, like, Natty heard them say it's time for a lesson. And we also, when we visited Gunther's aunt, she greeted in the same way, you know?

Speaker 6 And so I think Natty would start thinking that this is like just customary and doesn't want to like ruin whatever moment that Gunther is having.

Speaker 6 And so Natty would just start strumming on her auto harp. and just kind of like creating some like some like fight music

Speaker 6 just for uh like like to to kind of like set the mood for what she thinks is like maybe an important moment or just a necessary moment yeah now chris john is gonna let your character die out of respect for their culture

Speaker 10 it just goes to giggy is like all right now you gotta learn a lesson now pay attention

Speaker 6 yeah yeah yeah yeah she's she's playing her music but then while she's doing she's like telling giggie like what chord she's playing so he also learns a little bit of music

Speaker 6 okay i like that is giggy musically inclined Not a lick.

Speaker 6 Not a lick.

Speaker 6 Anytime he makes any sort of like attempt at singing, Natty thinks it's the most gorgeous sound she's ever heard in her life. Oh, one of those parents.

Speaker 10 I like to think the music you're playing is just like the Final Fantasy VII battle theme.

Speaker 6 Like done, done, done, done, done, done,

Speaker 6 done, dun, dun. Get right on,

Speaker 6 kid.

Speaker 6 We play real video games in my house, like Pokemon, okay?

Speaker 6 That works. Pokemon battle music, then that would actually make me feel more appropriate because it's like

Speaker 6 that music played on repeat for a while when you were like doing things like gym fights or the Elite Four.

Speaker 10 This is a little bit of a tangent. What? When you were a kid playing video games.

Speaker 6 I was never a kid. What?

Speaker 10 Would you ever, like, you're playing and your parents are like, we gotta go, you know, get a haircut or go to the mall or whatever.

Speaker 6 Deposit and you leave it on for as long as you're like, he's like, turn that off and you just turn the TV off and leave the game running so okay yeah yeah Gus when you were playing with your stick and your hoop did you pause it

Speaker 6 that's how I beat Super Mario Bros the first time was in that exact scenario and we I had to go to the post office with my mom and I just turned the TV off and left her because I was already in Bowser's Castle

Speaker 6 change the game too yeah and then and beat it that's impressive until you learn like where the warp pipes are you're like I'm on world six I'm I'm going to bed but my TV's not not.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, we had, I had just ditched the stick in the hoop the year before. Uh, and it was right after it was right after that.
Oh, man, we got really sidetracked. All right, um, that is it for Natty.

Speaker 6 So, it is your enemy, our mysterious enemy.

Speaker 6 First of all, the enemy once again is going to pull out its nunchucks and lock their both sets of their eyes on you, Gunther, and lash out with their nunchucks one more time.

Speaker 6 Again, this time, make me a strength-saving throw.

Speaker 10 21.

Speaker 6 All right, yeah, the nunchucks lock themselves around your rapier, and the enemy pulls as if to try to pull the rapier out of your hands, but you manage to keep a firm grip and hold on to it.

Speaker 6 Excellent grip.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 1 Do you recognize that voice? Are you allowed to check on that?

Speaker 10 I didn't recognize these people.

Speaker 6 He didn't recognize.

Speaker 6 The nunchucks wrap around and your enemy grunts in approval, but still, with the momentum of the nunchucks, they still kind of swing around the back side of the rapier and come up and knock you in the chest, still doing a little bit of damage,

Speaker 6 hitting you for nine points of bludgeoning damage.

Speaker 1 How are you doing, by the way?

Speaker 10 I would not be doing very well if I hadn't done my flippant second wind.

Speaker 6 They look around, analyzing the situation, and yeah, they're gonna go ahead and attack you again, Gunther.

Speaker 6 The other body lashes out with that psy that they used earlier to redirect the attack and tries to take a stab at you, hitting AC 18.

Speaker 10 It misses. Yes.

Speaker 6 18's a miss? Wow. Wow.
You have really good armor. Alright, yeah, the Sigh hits your armor, but then it hits it like in a reinforced spot and deflects off,

Speaker 6 not doing any damage to you. Oh, very good.

Speaker 6 It didn't hurt at all.

Speaker 6 Toll.

Speaker 6 One of them turns and looks at you and tosses a dart in your direction. Ah! Hitting AC 18.
Ooh, that's a miss. I'm 19.

Speaker 1 You guys have such high AC.

Speaker 6 What? Oh, wait. You know what? I might have had my shield up, and even though I didn't make any two-handed, I did, I did proclaim I was going to do two-handed.
So let me lower my shield. That's

Speaker 6 you can have your shield hanging on the outside of your arm as you swing down with both hands. Right.

Speaker 6 That didn't upset our audience and the greater YouTube audience at all when we made that animation.

Speaker 6 I took my shield off, so now I'm at a 17. So yeah, that's going to hit, I Okay, yeah, that does hit.

Speaker 6 I love that on YouTube, how angry people, well, not angry, how invested people got, because that's just engagement.

Speaker 6 I mean, that's just like driving that algorithm. Keep telling us we're wrong.
We love it. Don't hate watch our content over and over and over again

Speaker 1 and leave a comment and share with your friends to show how wrong

Speaker 6 it is. It's like, I understand that bucklers exist, but we're playing DD.
We're not in the middle ages in England. The rule of cool.
Yeah.

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Speaker 6 So the dart flies towards you, hits you in the neck. Go ahead and make me a constitution saving throw toll.

Speaker 6 Ooh, 25. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Guys, I do want to remind you, you have an inspiration die.

Speaker 6 I do. Barrack!

Speaker 6 Yes, yes, yes. That was his role.
That was not my role. Otherwise,

Speaker 6 I would have done it. It's not luck.
I don't have a luck dice. It's an inspiration dice.
But yeah, thank you. I would have, I absolutely would have used it there.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the dart hits you, and you instinctively reach to your neck and pull it out.

Speaker 6 And you look at it, and you feel a little woozy, and you look around and realize it's the same kind of dart that took out the officers and aides in the room.

Speaker 6 But you manage to shake your head and regain your faculties. Okay.
You only take some piercing damage, and you take 10 points of piercing damage, but you manage to stay awake. Okay.

Speaker 6 and for their final attack the enemy once again narrows their eyes and looks at your weapon gunther and they once again lash out with their nunchucks trying to wrap their nunchucks around your rapier go ahead and make me a strength saving throw they're kind of moving away from gambot are they because i don't know if that would provoke an opportunity attack no all of these people are within melee range are at exactly all attacked the them

Speaker 6 so um okay it's all right there he's watching though that's a 13.

Speaker 6 okay yeah this time you're unable to hold on to your rapier, and they pull down with all their might on the nunchucks, and your rapier comes out of your hand and sticks into the ground, point first, into the ground.

Speaker 6 Gus, can you take that again instead of into the ground, into the shag carpet? Into the shag carpet.

Speaker 6 The rapier pierces the shag carpet, angering your parents, because they just paid to have that installed.

Speaker 6 Doing that with the nunchuck was how Splinter got defeated Shredder at the end of the Min Turtles movie. Oh, yeah.
That's right.

Speaker 6 He had Michelangelo's nunchuck, and he wrapped it it around his little weapon. I have not seen the Ninja Turtles movie since it came out in theaters.
Like, what was that?

Speaker 6 In like 88, 89 or something like that. Use your stick and hoop as you roll down the street towards the theater.

Speaker 10 I watched it 4th of July.

Speaker 6 It's really good. Holds up.
I'm so old and it was so long ago. I remember I paid $2 to see that movie.
Whoa. That's how much a movie should cost.

Speaker 6 Okay, so your rapier is now in the shag carpet in front of you.

Speaker 6 And the nunchucks swing back around and strike you in the jaw, doing 14 points of damage, Gunther.

Speaker 10 Is Gunther trying to speak as his jaws broken?

Speaker 6 It's not broken. No.

Speaker 6 So, what? You're like at one hit point?

Speaker 10 I'm at one hit point.

Speaker 6 With that, the enemy in front of you stows all of their weapons, puts away the side, puts away the darts, and returns the nunchucks to their belt. The lesson is finished.

Speaker 10 I'm nearly finished.

Speaker 10 You have much to learn, young one.

Speaker 10 I know.

Speaker 6 Who are you?

Speaker 10 Tell me.

Speaker 14 Let us go outside and speak privately.

Speaker 6 All of us.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 1 What, us two? Yes. Kagenma come.

Speaker 17 He's the mightiest of you all.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it is actually.

Speaker 1 The only one who might uh late on you, so yeah, I think uh

Speaker 6 the figure before you turns and walks briskly to the door. Again, like totally in lockstep.
It's uncanny how the two of them can move so precisely together.

Speaker 6 Doug, Natty, and Toll, why don't the three of you make me constitution checks?

Speaker 1 11.

Speaker 6 Nat 2023.

Speaker 6 14. Doug and Toll, something about the excitement of all this, and you know, you've been going for quite a while now, traveling and doing all of these things.

Speaker 6 You're starting to get kind of a little tired. You both have one level of exhaustion now.

Speaker 6 Rude. Exhaustion means minus one to all D20 checks when outside of combat.
Okay. The figure turns and walks out of the room.

Speaker 10 Well, as everyone leaves, Gunther looks around at all the officers passed out and then does a little salute with his little kick behind his foot and then walks out.

Speaker 6 And like a picture, he does the salute and then like

Speaker 6 rubs his jaw and then goes out.

Speaker 1 Hopefully they don't think it was us that did this to them when they wake up in Night of Oshohio.

Speaker 6 And before Toll leaves, he looks and he sees into the bathroom that the shag carpet extends into the bathroom floor into the toilet.

Speaker 6 And he judges quietly.

Speaker 10 And Gunther notices that they're framed pictures of past generals but they were done by like someone's relative who's really really bad at art

Speaker 6 but they were like too polite to like say no so they were all hung up and they they looked terrible it's like the refrigerator of fort andridge man i i rented an apartment years ago that had shack carpet that went all the way into the bathroom and it was absolutely gross i hated it

Speaker 1 as long as it's not in the toilet space yeah it went all the way around the toilet and everything it was

Speaker 6 awful. Don't get it.
Yeah, it was terrible. Uh, so does everyone follow the figure outside? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Natty and Giggy are doing the same

Speaker 6 unified step kind of thing like they're doing.

Speaker 6 The two of you, just for fun, make me,

Speaker 6 I don't know, dexterity checks just to see. One for me, one for gigs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Gigs. Natty rolled a five.

Speaker 6 Giggy rolled a 21.

Speaker 6 Giggy's like a perfect copy of the figures in front of you.

Speaker 6 Meanwhile, Naddy might be too distracted looking at how adorable Giggy looks and almost accidentally kicks him by accident. I can't stop looking at him.
Yeah. He's too cute.
Too cute.

Speaker 6 You all walk outside of HQ to see this figure before you. They take off their masks and turn to look at the four of you.
Gunther, what is the lesson you have learned today?

Speaker 10 Do not strike unless i'm certain it will not it will hit and not hit me back

Speaker 6 no wrong oh

Speaker 6 nanny raises her hands yes don't bring a sword to a nunchuck fat

Speaker 6 almost not quite

Speaker 6 pole raises his hand oh okay you

Speaker 6 oh get a grip you know you gotta hold on to your saber better i mean come on yes all right i'm a ninja now

Speaker 6 Ninja pirate.

Speaker 6 Gunther, if your opponent cannot hold on to their weapon, they cannot use their weapon.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna watch your one down.

Speaker 10 Gunther coughs up some of the blood from his beating and then writes a note using it so that he won't forget it.

Speaker 10 He'll remember it because it's written in his own blood.

Speaker 17 And don't forget.

Speaker 14 An opponent is truly disarmed.

Speaker 17 but no one will fight alongside them.

Speaker 6 And they fight alone.

Speaker 1 That way you guys are like joined at the hip, literally.

Speaker 14 Yes, but you see, we are no longer physically conjoined.

Speaker 17 That's the hip.

Speaker 6 And they undo the wrapping that's around them, binding them together. And you see that they are indeed two separate individuals.
Whoa.

Speaker 6 You were like fighting us on hard mode? Is that prisoner? Wow.

Speaker 1 Well, according to them, you're more powerful when you're together versus

Speaker 6 yes.

Speaker 6 Barbs, Barbs, look of surprise when you said yes.

Speaker 6 Yes. Well, they're excited about it.

Speaker 14 We used to be physically conjoined.

Speaker 17 But after a bloody combat two years ago, we were separated. We still strap ourselves together when we fight.

Speaker 14 In order to have the ultimate combat prowess.

Speaker 10 What happened two years ago when you were split asunder?

Speaker 14 Bloody combat.

Speaker 1 With who?

Speaker 6 Our enemies. They look at you like you asked a dumb question.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's a lot of people out there.

Speaker 10 Why have you come for me?

Speaker 14 Shannon sent us to provide you training and to convey the lessons that we know to aid you in your search.

Speaker 10 Thank you. What may I call you?

Speaker 6 We are Rene.

Speaker 10 Which one is Renee and which one is Seuss?

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 6 So, like, when you were separated, was that kind of like cool? Were you actually kind of relieved because you had some autonomy? Or no!

Speaker 17 Oh, it was terrible.

Speaker 14 All right, Gunther, we know that. Much like we were separated, you have been separated from your friend.

Speaker 17 Perhaps it is time to reunite with them and increase your powers together.

Speaker 6 About Bunlap? They talk about Bunlap.

Speaker 10 Have you spoken with Bunlap? Do you know of his plight?

Speaker 1 Together, are you guys are you guys Bunther?

Speaker 6 This better than Gunlap.

Speaker 17 We have not spoken to him, but we have observed him in Sky Blue False prison.

Speaker 17 He needs your help.

Speaker 14 Perhaps it is time to reunite with him.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 10 Do you know anything of the six-toed villain or eleven-toed, depending upon if you're counting all the feet?

Speaker 6 We gotta nail this guy's branding because it's very confusing right now.

Speaker 1 Six or eleven.

Speaker 10 Well, like I pointed out, I previously said six-toed, and then I later referred to him as 11-toed.

Speaker 17 All I can say is, you will find them when you are ready.

Speaker 14 And you are not ready yet.

Speaker 6 Ooh, bird.

Speaker 10 Gunther nods and shakes its head and looks down.

Speaker 6 Everybody, go ahead and make me a perception check.

Speaker 10 30-20.

Speaker 6 Not 20.

Speaker 1 Minus 13, but with exhaustion, that is a 12.

Speaker 6 12.

Speaker 6 Those are all pretty decent. I did the thing where you look at your cards for poker, put it down, you go, yeah, look at them again.

Speaker 6 All four of you hear bees buzzing angrily.

Speaker 1 Versus happily?

Speaker 6 Bees.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Yeah, you're in another campaign of

Speaker 6 buzzing bees.

Speaker 1 Can we tell where that's coming from, like what direction?

Speaker 6 It appears like it's coming from maybe behind and under you. It doesn't make sense.
You turn to look around, but you can't see where the sound is coming from precisely.

Speaker 10 Like in a tunnel that's underneath this ground, as there have been in the past.

Speaker 1 Maybe?

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 6 Ah, nice, nice. All right, everyone.

Speaker 10 Ready your tongues.

Speaker 1 Okay, what are we going to do with our tongues, Gunto? What's the plan?

Speaker 6 You use your tongue to wrap around them. Giggy just starts licking the ground.
Nice.

Speaker 10 I have a question. Yeah.
That thing I got.

Speaker 6 Nouns are fun. Yeah.
Names, titles.

Speaker 10 That thing I got from the

Speaker 10 water person.

Speaker 6 Sea drinker? The sea drinker.

Speaker 10 I got a thing that can help you find things.

Speaker 6 Oh, wasn't it like a water pouch or something that had endless water? The octopot of obscura.

Speaker 10 Okay, can I use that? Turns water and inquisitive ink, dribble some out, ink flows towards hidden things in the area, and I want to use it to find bees.

Speaker 6 Okay, yeah, you go ahead and pour some out. Go ahead and roll me 4d6.

Speaker 10 That's a 16.

Speaker 6 2464. Yeah.

Speaker 6 We have this mechanic. I guess now might be a good time to introduce it and to explain it called dice pool.

Speaker 6 You may hear us use this every now and then from here on forward. So this is my explanation to the players and it's my explanation to the audience as well.
So the octopot has, what did I say, 4d6?

Speaker 6 and you roll those and we kind of track your progress and any dice that rolls a one through a three is dropped so in this case you rolled what did i say two four six four we dropped that two

Speaker 6 so now moving forward you have a three d6 pool so when you want to use it again use three and the number you roll kind of determines the progress you make and it's kind of a depleting resource as time goes on.

Speaker 6 Okay. So now in the future, instead of 4d6, you'll be using 3d6.

Speaker 10 Gotcha.

Speaker 6 uh since we dropped the the two and as this comes up again in the future i'll i'll re-explain it again once or two more times because i'm sure it's it's a new mechanic and we're learning the so you are

Speaker 6 incentivized not to roll low yeah correct or too often correct it's a way to kind of limit the use of something without saying like two uses per long rest it's a little more luck and interactive basically yeah i like it yeah i think it's you know what gus i'll i'll approve that's fine you can you can continue to use this yeah micah uh blain approves now he doesn't want to use it anymore for some reason.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 6 The ink kind of dribbles out from your octopot and goes in the direction back towards the HQ and then seems to seep straight into the ground. Oh, that shag carpet is absorbing.

Speaker 6 Well, I think we're outside now.

Speaker 10 They are under the ground. We are being attacked.

Speaker 1 Do you think they're coming towards us or just maybe passing by?

Speaker 6 I would assume they are attacking. I've been attacked by surprise party once today.

Speaker 6 We can be proactive and attack them. I can hit my hammer into the ground and cause a cave-in.
That sounds like fun. I shall burrow.

Speaker 10 Can I try and burrow underneath wherever that ink went?

Speaker 6 Yeah. Do you have like tools for that, or is that just like a Gunther thing?

Speaker 10 I don't know if I have explicit tools. I just cast something that like they do.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'm just trying to figure out like how that would work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have a shovel.

Speaker 6 You begin digging into the ground. Doug pitches in a shovel.
It takes a little while. At first, it's just dirt and not much else.

Speaker 1 I like to think the shovel that Doug actually has is one of those little sand castle shovels.

Speaker 6 Little plastic one.

Speaker 1 Since plastic one.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you start to get really tired, and it just seems to be dirt. So we hear bees under the ground.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Angry bees.

Speaker 6 Angry bees. Renaissance.
Is that what their name is? Renaissance. Renesus.
Hey, Renesus, dude. Is this like a cool attack that you had planned that you didn't really get to?

Speaker 6 Do you familiar with these bees? You turn to ask Renesus and they're gone.

Speaker 6 Cool. All right.
We just got Batman. That's neat.

Speaker 1 Did they turn to the bees?

Speaker 6 There's a note on the ground where Renesus once stood.

Speaker 10 Oh, can I pick it up?

Speaker 6 Wanna read it? Yeah, you pick it up and read it.

Speaker 10 Arm yourself with friends.

Speaker 1 Did you say arm yourself with friends?

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I feel like there's a theme going on here about like just being together and like you know having your your uh like good camaraderie with people you work with and stuff like that that you know not like don't be alone so i think this is really just trying to tell don't don't split the party, no matter what we do,

Speaker 1 never ever ever.

Speaker 10 Or it could mean for you to all take your arms off and I fight with them.

Speaker 6 That's an idea, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 I was thinking you were gonna say to like Voltron, where they are literally your arms.

Speaker 6 Wait, you know how, like, earlier today, how we were uh promoted, and now we all have like little privates that are at our command.

Speaker 6 No, sorry,

Speaker 6 just says no, same little private sea first

Speaker 6 oh

Speaker 6 we have like a team each of us has three privates at our command yeah but aren't y'all like passed out in the out of room on shedcom losing it sorry barbara gus is losing it i mean digging holes it seems like a perfect thing for them to do

Speaker 6 it's true we could put you in a work put your privates to work yeah make them make your privates work for you

Speaker 6 before we proceed uh i just want to cover like a metagame point of order So, Gunther, you have actually learned a lesson from Renesus today.

Speaker 6 If you refresh your character sheet, you'll have a new ability on there. Oh, my goodness!

Speaker 1 Do never be alone.

Speaker 6 It's called stop sucking and hold on your sword.

Speaker 6 High-fi from Barbara there. It's called disarming attack.

Speaker 10 Oh, Gunther lesson. Disarming attack.
When you hit a creature with an attack roll, you can expend one superiority die to attempt to disarm the target.

Speaker 10 Add the superiority die to the attack's damage roll. The target must succeed on a strength saving throw or drop one object of your choice that it's holding with the object landing in its space.

Speaker 6 Do you want to practice?

Speaker 10 Yes, but I'm worried about bees.

Speaker 10 Is there anyone around?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you know, the fort's pretty bustling. You know, everyone inside HQ right now is unconscious, but you assume they'll be back awake at some point.

Speaker 6 But yeah, there are other members of the Mortalion walking around accomplishing various tasks. There's a group of four recruits walking by practicing their marching.

Speaker 1 Could I go up in front of them right in the line of where they're marching?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you're a corporal now, so they all stop and they salute you, Doug.

Speaker 6 I salute them back. At ease, friends.
Friends.

Speaker 1 I mean, subordinates.

Speaker 6 There you go. Doug is a natural, I have to say.

Speaker 1 I have a very important mission for you guys.

Speaker 1 So, you know, me and my fellow corporals here, and Doug points back to the group. You know, we've been heard a strange kind of buzzing sound that's coming from underneath.

Speaker 1 It's almost like angry bees, specifically very angry bees. Do you guys happen to know what those might be or

Speaker 6 what it's from? One of them steps forward and addresses you. Sir, we have heard reports of the nectar knight in the area, and there are rumors that he was imprisoned underground.

Speaker 6 Now he has been set free. The fort has been plagued with bees, and there's dripping honey and numerous beehives all around, sir.
What is a nectar knight? That sounds like the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 6 Describe him in perfect detail. I want to know everything.
This sounds like a cocktail.

Speaker 6 It sounds like a dude who uses, like, when he goes jousting, has like a big bee stinger at the end of his thing, and his whole armor is, like, honeycombed and yellow and golden.

Speaker 1 Oh, like A-N-I.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like some sort of cereal mascot, but his food is for strong boys and girls.

Speaker 6 I bet you he's a young guy that was coming out of the seeing Zorro with his parents, and then some guy shot down his parents, then he went home, and a bee ran through his window and scared him.

Speaker 6 He's like, I will use that.

Speaker 6 Anyways,

Speaker 1 I don't know these people anymore.

Speaker 1 You said he was in prison underground and he escaped?

Speaker 6 Yes, sir. He was imprisoned underground and has been recently set free.
He didn't escape.

Speaker 1 Set free?

Speaker 6 Oh. The Nectar Knight is a demigod, of course.
He's a well-armored knight with the face of a fox, and his armor is constantly dripping with honey.

Speaker 6 I love this guy. I love it.
It's a bit of a mixed imagery there, but we'll go go with it. I'm so down.
There are bees all over Fort Indrich. There are numerous beehives.
Well, that's good.

Speaker 6 They participate in an important part of the ecosystem in this area, so I'm glad they've returned. With this Nectar Knight, is he he was imprisoned by the Mortalion?

Speaker 6 Like, the underground prison was owned by the Mortalian? Unknown, sir. The underground area under Fort Indridge was only recently rediscovered.
I believe you all discovered it, sir. Yes, we knew that.

Speaker 6 Of course. Are we using that area now, like the Mortalian, or is it still

Speaker 6 the Umdarians? Oh, yes. We hope to be building a Temple of the Blood Bather coming soon.

Speaker 6 And the private points to a hole in the ground, and there's a sign near it that says, Temple of Blood Bather, coming soon.

Speaker 1 Is the Blood Bather another...

Speaker 1 Is the Blood Bather another demigod?

Speaker 6 Flawless, Barbara. Flawless.

Speaker 1 I was just going to ask Gus, but I was like, I should just...

Speaker 6 I know, I liked it. That was a perfect transition.
The Blood Bather is actually a major god.

Speaker 6 Okay, I have another mission for you guys, okay? Once we're done talking, you know, Doug and the others might have more questions, but there is a room where there are a bunch of sleepy officers, okay?

Speaker 6 First and foremost, I want you to re-wallpaper the valles in there because they are falling and being stripped, okay? And I want tie-dye wallpaper, okay?

Speaker 6 And then I want you to put a fluffy pillow under the heads of each of your superior officers so that they have a nice nappy time.

Speaker 1 Well, well they're already sleeping on shag carpet which is pretty plush yeah but i mean imagine the favor that they will get by you know waking up and they have such a nice nap on a nice gooshy pillow yes before you get to that i i i do wonder are these bees hostile like are they like disrupting you guys here in a motallion or are they kind of peaceful they're mostly an inconvenience sir They seem to be all over the place whenever we're trying to get work done.

Speaker 6 We're having to deal with excess honey and honeycombs and constantly constantly harvesting it and trying to relocate them dog just be careful not to lose your glasses what what's a my girl reference oh oh

Speaker 1 i was gonna say also like bees and honey are also my worst nightmare because when you get that in my four it came over man came over so why was the nectar knight imprisoned exactly unknown sir His time in prison predates Fort Indridge.

Speaker 6 Oh, and he was imprisoned by us. What do you mean, sir?

Speaker 10 The army mattalion.

Speaker 6 Unknown, sir. As far as I know, no.
His imprisonment predates our activity in this area.

Speaker 1 Who is the one who freed him? Who gave that order?

Speaker 6 He freed himself once the escape path was cleared, presumably by you all. Oh, yes, and we did that on purpose.

Speaker 10 Yes, yes.

Speaker 6 The temple of the blood bather.

Speaker 6 What's the vibe of that?

Speaker 6 Why the blood bather?

Speaker 6 The blood bather is someone the mortalion respects.

Speaker 6 He was once a brave mortal warrior who ascended to godhood because of battle prowess, and all great mortal warriors aspire to follow in his footsteps.

Speaker 6 Personally, I feel like we should be like, you know, exalting like the olive branch god, you know, the peace god, not the bloodbather.

Speaker 6 We are in a military.

Speaker 6 I know. You are aware that we're part of a fighting force that's goal is to

Speaker 6 participate in combat of a war. Yes, I just want to be aware of the military-industrial complex.
I don't want to fight just for poops and giggles, okay?

Speaker 6 Ideally, we finish the war so that we can have peace, you know. If there's nothing else, sir, we'll get back to work making the officers cozy.
Oh, very good.

Speaker 1 Nadi, got any questions for them?

Speaker 6 Yeah, Nadi. You want to know more about the Bloodbather or the Nectar Knight? No, that seems like you guys got good information.
I figure we should maybe uh the bees.

Speaker 6 I don't know if the bees are really our problem right now. Are they our problem right now? We hear them angry, but they said they're everywhere all the time.

Speaker 1 I imagine, and correct me if I'm wrong, uh, sergeants, privates, privates, my bad. Would the bees lead us to where the nectonite is potentially?

Speaker 6 Unknown, sir. We have not noticed any pattern to the bees' appearances.
We know the nectar night is free somewhere, however, we have not been able to find him.

Speaker 1 And is the goal of this to recapture him?

Speaker 6 Negative, sir.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, it doesn't seem like there's really an issue here, then, other than the honey being a little bit inconvenient, just a minor inconvenience.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it just seems like a little bit of a status update for the fort right now. They got a bee problem.
Yeah. You know, if we get ordered to maybe deal with these bees, we could deal with them.

Speaker 6 But don't, aren't we supposed to be heading to somewhere else? Or we, what, what's our mission right now? Who's in charge? Am I in charge?

Speaker 6 I think I am in charge. I believe, Natty, you were in charge.
Hey, Natty, where are we headed? Got a free bun lap at some point. Oh, yeah.
Let's go get bun lap. Who was it that got maps earlier?

Speaker 6 Someone got maps. Didn't you get one? Did I get one? I thought you did.
I thought you took the maps, Gunther. Okay, good.

Speaker 10 Can I pull out my maps maps and look and see where Sky Blue Falls is?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you pull out your map and you see Sky Blue Falls in the distance. It's kind of on the way to the front.
It's not all the way at the front.

Speaker 6 And you know that you had been kind of expected to head out to the front. So it is something you could stop by along the way.

Speaker 6 Closer by, before Sky Blue Falls, you see some other landmarks on your map that you could conceivably go to. You see Meadow Canyon and Boiling Bluffs on there as well.

Speaker 6 Natty, chews away any of the lingering privates. Go back.
Go back to your work. Go to your stuff.
One of them points before you start shooting and says, Oh, Boiling Bluffs.

Speaker 6 There was news from Boiling Bluffs recently, sir. There was a relic stolen from the font of the fire eater there.

Speaker 1 Oh, the fire eater.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah, we should go there. I think we should go there, Natty.

Speaker 6 That's fine. And then they salute you and then walk away.
They go look for pillows.

Speaker 6 Very good. Carry on.
Natty turns to private parts and goes, ear muffs.

Speaker 6 Private parts puts his hands over his ears and starts humming. Okay, so we're supposed to be heading to the front,

Speaker 6 but we've got some personal business we want to deal with, but our personal business is in the direction of the front.

Speaker 6 So why don't we head that direction? And then if we happen upon, let's say, a prison with a certain little friend inside of it, we can maybe do some shenanigans there.

Speaker 6 But all the while, we look like to our superiors, like we're actually heading where they told us to go.

Speaker 6 And if they call us out on it, we can say we were recruiting new members of the mortalion, you know.

Speaker 6 Just lies upon lies is always a good call. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll never get caught in it once because we have steel trap members, right, everyone? Right.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Right, dog.

Speaker 6 So what's your name is?

Speaker 6 And I do want to give you all a quick reminder as well. See, you're at the fort.
You're at Fort Endrich. You have the opportunity to rest.

Speaker 6 The party hasn't rested in many watches, which is why your exhaustion is starting to kind of build up. Nah, we're probably good.

Speaker 6 i think we're all at like full health and and we got we should just head out and not even think about recovering or

Speaker 6 you can head out too i'm just saying if you wanted to rest this is a good opportunity to or you can just go out and continue if you want as well long rest please i could use a long rest yeah we should rest we haven't been to our bunks in a while i feel perfectly fine i feel i mean you don't have to rest guno you could just stay up and watch yeah i want to call your bluff he's not actually saying anything he thinks he's saying that he's actually on the ground right now, just gurgling.

Speaker 10 No, I say that because I had a long rest recently because of that whole trance with the bedrock.

Speaker 6 Which is why Gunther did not have to roll for exhaustion. Oh.
Long rest time? Yeah, let's go to our bunks. We can actually sleep in our beds for once.
I sleep in a team's bed.

Speaker 6 It's really damp. It's really wet.
You. Oh, gross.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and if you all want, you know, you can use the downtime to pursue other things, talk to each other, talk to NPCs, work on any long-term projects or goals you might have it's really up to you guys if you all want to do anything you tell me and if not we can continue to i would like to maybe knock out a little bit of work on my invention for that contest that's great because that's another dice pool thing that we're gonna do so it's it's good that we worked on that hey doug yeah could giggie at least like watch or maybe you give him like something to do to help so he can have a little lesson while you're doing that i'm very particular about my equipment and everything and my tools and everything so does he have like a little like play pen you could put him in or like a cage so that he could watch but just not touch?

Speaker 1 Or like an extra big diaper that's like a straight jacket or something, or like one of those like bouncy things where he's like kind of strapped into it.

Speaker 6 I don't normally like to restrict him in any sort of way, but he does have his little leash. That's the only restriction I'll do.
That's just so I can keep an eye on him.

Speaker 6 So, what if I like attach the leash to like a stake in the ground that's just long enough that he can get to the edge of your machines but not touch them? Okay, all over. You know what?

Speaker 6 Hey, Doug, come here. A lot of times, he sees his tail and he starts chasing it, and

Speaker 6 he'll go in circles around that stake, and the leash will get shorter and shorter and shorter.

Speaker 1 I also just want to make sure you're accounting for his slightly larger size, you know, and the distance that he could go now because he is slightly larger, you know.

Speaker 1 Mathematically speaking, you have to put it like an inch behind. Yeah, okay, you got it.

Speaker 6 Mass times, speed equals energy, whatever, something like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, MC squared.

Speaker 6 I also want to say this about Giggy getting bigger. Can I make a request about him, what happened when he got bigger? I don't know if we specified this because you said he got like, he grew.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I just love the image of this little baby gremlin. Can he just like increase in size, but not actually maturity? Yeah.
Absolutely.

Speaker 6 Like he didn't actually turn into like a teenager, but he's just a larger Gigi.

Speaker 6 So when you like are in Photoshop and you take the PNG and then you just kind of zoom it out, like make it a little bit bigger. He's just scaled up.

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it.
Like in Huntington, blew up the baby.

Speaker 6 yes yeah terrifying classic so scary yes um okay that is now canon okay

Speaker 6 natty puts a puts a stake in the ground asks asks toll to like use his hammer to really hammer it in and then goes all right doug i guess you're okay and natty leaves

Speaker 10 love it no notes so uh you watching any movies lately or anything like how do i talk to a kid could Gunther go with Doug as well to try and work on his sword and talk with Doug. Sure.

Speaker 10 Like he's got that goat eye or whatever shadow thing that can be used to upgrade his sword.

Speaker 6 Like both of you working side by side on different projects. Yeah.
I feel like workshop kind of area.

Speaker 1 Because I did already imbue your other sword, right?

Speaker 10 You imbued my armor, which is part of the reason why my AC so I. But no, this was when the goat gave Gunther that little like item.
It can be used to upgrade my sword.

Speaker 6 Oh, Gunther, I have an idea for your upgrade. Because Reynasus were telling you you need to hold on to your weapon.
maybe you make like a cool chain that connects from your sword to your hand.

Speaker 6 It'll be like a wallet chain, but for your sword.

Speaker 6 I love it. That's funny.

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Speaker 6 So, Doug's going to be working on his invention. Gunter's going to be working on his sword.
Naddy dropped Giggy off to watch Doug and hopefully get a lesson. Is Naddy going to do anything?

Speaker 6 We call that Dougie Daycare.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Naddy actually is going to use the assistance of one of her closest friends, Eva, Toll, to help with

Speaker 6 an activity she has in mind. She needs to work on her song.

Speaker 6 Oh, you picked the most musically inclined moment. I know it.

Speaker 6 And Tov, you're going to assist Naddy with that? Yes, I have something else in mind that I'll do, but I also want to chill with Naddy for sure.

Speaker 6 Okay, Doug, we'll start with you since you said what you wanted to do first. So, you know, this invention, this is from the flyer, right?

Speaker 6 That you saw in the high three that you're entering into the contest?

Speaker 1 It was for the Build Your Best contest.

Speaker 6 Have you mentioned what the invention actually is or what it does?

Speaker 1 I think I did in passing, but just a reminder, the contest was to make make something, an invention that should embody the values of finding and rescuing endangered wildlife without using any wood in the invention.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And the invention that I came up with is an echo pulse locator, which emits a soft sound like pulses, kind of like a bat echo location to detect hidden animals without causing them panic and to also draw them to the device's location so I could kind of lead them out.

Speaker 6 Where did you get the idea for this kind of thing, Doug? Oh, well, you know,

Speaker 1 Doug has spent a lot of time kind of out in the wilderness, and he knows like a lot of really sudden noises and traps and stuff like that could really frighten a lot of animals and wildlife.

Speaker 1 And so he just wanted to make a really calming sound to kind of help draw them out and to kind of maybe rescue them from dangerous locations.

Speaker 1 So he didn't want to make anything that captured them because, you know, Doug knows what it feels like to be kind of... to feel trapped and it's not a fun feeling.

Speaker 6 What does this look like? Like what is this invention, this Equipulse locator, like what does it look like broadly speaking?

Speaker 1 I would say it's kind of like a little backpack, so something he could wear on his back that has almost like a speaker looking bit to it that makes the pulsing location sound.

Speaker 6 Okay. Has Doug sketched it out or is it just like all in his mind so far?

Speaker 1 I think he, one of the steps of working on it, he would probably sketch it out first and then start get like collecting all the parts he needs and stuff. Okay.

Speaker 6 What kind of parts are they? Like what kind of materials? I know you said no wood, but like how would Doug kind of put this together?

Speaker 1 I think over the course of them journeying, he's collected just scraps of of metal, wire, things of that nature.

Speaker 1 I think it's more of like an electric system rather than any type of like wood or any natural materials. Okay.
So just in his scavenging. He has scavenged many years and so he knows what to look for.

Speaker 6 Okay. Well on that note, let's make a roll on the dice pool like Gunther did, just to see what the progress is.

Speaker 6 So you're going to roll 4d6 and in this case, the more dice you drop, the more progress you make towards completing your invention.

Speaker 6 okay you keep saying dice pool and i keep thinking that's just wade wilson playing dnd

Speaker 6 uh i got a six a four a two and a one so you drop the two and the one so you have two d6 left in your dice pool so you made pretty good progress then you drop if you drop two of them that's really good wait question yeah do you want to drop with in this instance is doug trying to lose yes in this instance you want to drop them all because once you deplete your dice pool then you're done with your invention okay See, this is why I was like, we're going to explain this a few times and we're going to work through it because it's an interesting mechanic that I think is really flexible.

Speaker 6 I can see the look on Barbara's face as well. She's like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I was like, I thought it's bad if you roll low because then you have like less dice to contribute to the progress.

Speaker 6 Yeah, in this case, dropping them is progress. And yeah, we can really dive into it a little more in Second Wind for this.

Speaker 6 So if you're a member of our Patreon over at sneakingdragonpod.com, next week we'll release Second Wind and we'll talk about this episode and we'll get a little more into the dice pool.

Speaker 6 I'm excited that we're using it. I've been looking forward to this for a little while.
So you're not quite at the stage where it's done.

Speaker 6 You know, the prototype's not completely finished, but you're making good progress. And hopefully, the next time you really sit down and work on it, you might finish it, but we'll see.

Speaker 1 I think Doug would hold up his sketch to Giggy. Like, what do you think? You got any notes?

Speaker 1 You like it?

Speaker 6 Giggy would have to make a wisdom check. Wisdom check for Gigglesworth.
This has to go well. He is a plus zero and he rolled a three.
Ooh, very good. So what's he do, Gus? He loves it.

Speaker 6 I'm going to say he doesn't really pick up what's going on. He doesn't understand the concept behind this.

Speaker 6 He can't seem to focus on what Doug is showing him. Instead, he seems to be looking away in the distance.
He's just staring at Captain Grumbles. And licking his chops.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Thank you for clarifying that Captain Grumbles is still with us. I didn't do it.

Speaker 6 I have to remind everyone there are... We can't escape these NPCs.
There are other people here. We've got to paint the picture.
All right, good. I think we had good progress there, Doug.

Speaker 6 You happy with that?

Speaker 1 I'm pretty happy.

Speaker 6 Okay. So, Gunther, you're going to try working on your sword or your weapon.
What's going on here?

Speaker 10 Yeah, so... I have proficiency with smithing tools, and I got this scapegoat tooth, which is a jagged goat tooth surrounded by flickering aura of dark light.
And I want to try imbue my sword with it.

Speaker 10 It says, must be crafted to an item weapon. Once per session, you can re-roll an attack roll, but you instantly take 1d20 necrotic damage for the sin of making a bad roll.
Okay.

Speaker 10 I want to work on that and, you know, with Doug being such a crafty person, see if they have any, you know, notes or help.

Speaker 6 Yeah. How do you want to approach that? You want to make like a check for your blacksmithing or you tell me, how do you imagine you'll work on integrating this tooth?

Speaker 10 So duct tape.

Speaker 10 I'm imagining like at the you hold the sword like on the base of it closer to where your inky would be when you hold it

Speaker 10 hilt yeah and the hilt like the base of the hilt yeah kind of attaching it there so it's kind of almost like um a tooth at the bottom of it or in the center it would almost look more just like jewelry or something yeah pommel i'm no blacksmith i'm no blacksmith like you i was gonna say yeah it sounds like the pommel to me just like blain just yelling out the pieces of swords

Speaker 6 i don't know why i'm so uniquely like i know these things

Speaker 10 yes whatever blain said yeah

Speaker 6 i could be be wrong i'm no sword expert like blaine but i think that sometimes uh on swords then they have like sharp objects on the pommel like for up close like melee like you know hitting someone over the head with it yeah you're thinking like something like that yeah but i think this would be a thing because if i have to roll to damage myself if i miss so it's almost where i squeeze the hilt and it'll bite me and then i get to re-roll the grip the grip okay does that make sense i think so no i'll tell you what audience

Speaker 6 why don't you draw us what this looks like Oh, man, that's going to be, it's going to be worse, Gus. It's not you, Chris.
I'm telling the audience.

Speaker 6 The audience could draw us how they picture what they think of us. Put this on the audience.
They're nice to us.

Speaker 10 But does it make sense?

Speaker 10 Because you hurt yourself if you use it. So I want to be able to bite.
It's like a bite.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I get you. I think I know what you're going for here.
Why don't you make like a blacksmith check or something? What's a blacksmith check? I don't know. That's why I'm asking him.

Speaker 10 How about, like, is that like a sleight of hand?

Speaker 6 I'm trying to think if it's more dexterity or strength-based. Yeah, it's not sleight of hand.

Speaker 1 The actual rules: D20 plus proficiency.

Speaker 6 That's from Micah.

Speaker 6 Oh, plus just the proficiency. What do you, I got you.
Uh, yeah, go ahead and roll a D20 then and add your proficiency bonus, which is plus three. Thank you, Micah, for knowing the rules.

Speaker 10 That's 11 plus three, so 14. Oh, can I use that thing that Barb gave me?

Speaker 6 What's it called? Yeah, at some point in this episode, you got to say something. Butt tap.
Yes, the butt tap. You can use the butt tap and add.

Speaker 1 I I didn't touch a butt.

Speaker 6 It was guidance.

Speaker 10 Guidance. So that's an extra one.

Speaker 6 The duration on that's typically only one minute, but we'll say that

Speaker 6 you can still use it. It's a long rest.

Speaker 6 It's one day. So that takes you to a 15?

Speaker 10 I believe so.

Speaker 6 So you rolled an 11, plus 3 is 14, plus 1 is 15. That is exactly the number I was looking for, was 15.
You weren't going to make it if you didn't use that guidance. So yes.

Speaker 6 You work and you're able to integrate the tooth into the pommel slash hilt of your rapier. Nice.
Cool.

Speaker 10 While I'm working on it, can I talk to Doug? Doug? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'm afraid to go look for Bunlap.

Speaker 1 But he's your friend.

Speaker 6 I know.

Speaker 1 Are you just afraid to go to the Sky Blue Falls prison because they're looking for you? Or are you afraid to actually see a friend?

Speaker 10 I'm afraid to see him again.

Speaker 6 Why? What happened? I abandoned him. I left.

Speaker 1 And then he got arrested and has been in prison?

Speaker 6 No, we were both in prison and I left and he's I abandoned it.

Speaker 6 Well that's a little awkward, not gonna lie. I don't know, I trust.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing about friendships: you know, they kind of ebb and flow, and sometimes we do things we regret.

Speaker 1 But I think if and when we do see him again, I think you all you just need to do is say Osawi and maybe, you know, give a proper explanation for why you left him.

Speaker 1 I imagine it was so that you could maybe come back and get him out, right?

Speaker 10 That is what I would like to think I would do.

Speaker 6 But I have not.

Speaker 1 Well, he might forgive you.

Speaker 6 I hope so. Anyway, I'm gonna go now.
Look at this cool tooth I put on my sword.

Speaker 1 Maybe you guys could just like join yourselves at the hip, and I will be forgiven after that, because then he'll be forced to be with you, you know? No other choice.

Speaker 6 Do you show Doug your sword that you modified when you say that? Yeah, look at the sword.

Speaker 1 Doug holds it up almost like it's like a child's science fair project.

Speaker 6 Wow, actually, this is pretty good.

Speaker 1 You want me to test it out for you?

Speaker 10 If that involves stabbing me, then I prefer no.

Speaker 1 Is there like a pillow nearby since we're near the bunks?

Speaker 6 There's Giggy.

Speaker 6 Stop it.

Speaker 1 I would never hurt a child.

Speaker 10 Do you remember all I taught you about sword fighting?

Speaker 6 Sure. One of the privates you talked to earlier is walking by with a stack of pillows.
I thought you were just going to say, one of the privates is walking by. Stab him, private.

Speaker 1 Could Doug just like stab the pillow, one of the pillows, walking by?

Speaker 6 Yeah, make an attack roll. If it's a one, you're stabbing the private.
I'm telling you right now.

Speaker 1 Do I get anything? Since I'm using the sword that Gunther made, just roll the D20 and we'll see how it goes. Okay, it's a 10.

Speaker 6 Oh. I would say that's a miss.
You could activate the scapegoat tooth if you want to re-roll that attack roll, but you take damage if you do that.

Speaker 1 You know what? Gunther, I trust you.

Speaker 6 I think it works just fine.

Speaker 6 Just whiffed.

Speaker 1 And then I say to the private walking by, I just wanted to keep you on your toes, you know.

Speaker 6 Gotcha.

Speaker 6 If you will.

Speaker 6 They kind of give you a wider berth and walk further away from you. As Doug hands you back the rapier, Gunther, you hear a voice emanating from the tooth.
Hello. I know what you did, Gunther.

Speaker 1 The scapegoat? Do I hear that too, or just Gunther?

Speaker 6 Just Gunther.

Speaker 10 What do you know?

Speaker 6 What you did last summer.

Speaker 6 Who told you?

Speaker 6 You

Speaker 3 did.

Speaker 10 Oh, shoot.

Speaker 6 All right. On that spooky note, we'll move on to Natty.

Speaker 6 I believe you said you were going to work on your song with Toll's assistance?

Speaker 1 Yes. Sing writing duo of the century.

Speaker 6 Are we like mid practice? Like, that's not my tempo.

Speaker 6 Small with feeling.

Speaker 6 Oh, I love that. So, yeah, if we could go do this, like, maybe in the, in the bunk, like we could do it, like, uh, at the beds.
I feel like that's a fun little place to be like writing music. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So tell if you heard my fantastic, wonderful beginning of my song that I shared with you guys previously about the troop troop.

Speaker 6 But as glorious of a song that was going to be, I'm sure you were going to say, I feel like my heart wasn't in it.

Speaker 6 And I was thinking, like, I got to really write this song about something that matters to me because their little thing that they sent out just said, you can write a song as long as they just need a songwriter.

Speaker 6 songwriter so i'm gonna show them what i got and i'm gonna write a song about my wife oh oh

Speaker 6 you're going to dedicate this to me right no no you're not not at all not even a lick understood yeah it this is about the most important person that i could ever think of and that's my bride um but i'm having a difficult time with my lyrics i've got i've got kind of like i'm working on these choruses and Could you help me with some rhyming?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you know it. Okay.

Speaker 6 Throw some words at me. Let's do some wordplay.

Speaker 6 Okay, okay. I'm obviously going to use the word bride in there somewhere.

Speaker 6 So what's a word that can that can rhyme with bride that I can put into my song? Oh, so many.

Speaker 1 You could be a bride or die.

Speaker 6 No, I know. Shit, shit, this is a rhyming game.
Get out of here, Doug.

Speaker 6 Tied, cried, lied, abide,

Speaker 6 died. Oh, died.
That's very, you know, thematic, you know, because they are the, like, lord of death. Okay, I like that.
And with you being red now. You're not here.
You're not here.

Speaker 6 You all got your moment. You all got your moment.
Back off. Maybe if you're talking about like their hips don't lie.
Oh boy, they're wide. You know, that's going to be fun.
Okay. So we got

Speaker 6 died with bride. I like that one.
That's a good one. You made a good choice.
Okay, great. It's like mad lips.
I love it. Give me another one.
Give them one.

Speaker 6 I'm feeling the juices flowing. Let's go.

Speaker 6 And then another word I'm obviously going to use is like death in there, you know? Oh, yes, sir. So what's a word I could rhyme with death?

Speaker 6 This might be a bit of a stretch, but your wife, their name is not Beth, is it? No, it is not.

Speaker 6 And I prefer not to put the name of another woman in the song I'm writing about my betrothed. Yeah, um,

Speaker 6 meth might not have the right sort of vibe.

Speaker 6 What is that?

Speaker 1 I was thinking that into the back of my head, I was like, no one's going to say that, surely.

Speaker 6 If they're a family guy fan, you might talk about Seth McFarlane.

Speaker 6 It's a harder one. I feel like I'm challenging you with this.
Yeah, I mean, I think you're going to have to go into double syllables at that point. So it would be like, what's that?

Speaker 1 Clef.

Speaker 6 Clef?

Speaker 6 My practice is I go through the alphabet. Yeah.
So like, Beth, Caf, Def, Feth.

Speaker 10 Oh, like, so on and so forth.

Speaker 6 Replace the first letter kind of a thing. Yeah.
Oh, you know, there's other words. Summoning

Speaker 6 a rhyme from somewhere, from somewhere deep down inside. Breath.
Breath. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, I like

Speaker 6 that.

Speaker 10 If Doug was singing it, then caress.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 6 Cause it become caress.

Speaker 6 Okay. I got two more words that I need rhymes for, okay? All right, throw them at me.
Yes, yes, yes. I love this word.
Gale. Gal.
Oh.

Speaker 6 Okay, let me see.

Speaker 10 Can I cow?

Speaker 10 like dumb?

Speaker 6 No, digs you.

Speaker 6 Fowl. No, no.

Speaker 6 You want to say nice things about them. Okay.

Speaker 6 Growl, you know, maybe some sort of like,

Speaker 10 you know.

Speaker 6 Howl. Oh, you make you bring out such, you know.
Howl is a good one. Primal instincts, howl.
I like that one. Yeah, that's got a lot of potential with that one.

Speaker 6 Take your best friend, you know, your pal.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 So, last one. Okay.
It's not my favorite color, but it's obviously her favorite color. Black.
Yes. Oh, okay.
Attack. That's Vac.

Speaker 6 You know.

Speaker 6 Who's the brother of Pony? His name is Zach.

Speaker 6 We've got...

Speaker 6 You want to go to the sack, you know, like for the sexy times. I don't want to get crass with this one.
I am racking my brain.

Speaker 6 You know, you want to shoot some fools, you pull out the Mac, you know.

Speaker 6 Oh, they have hooves. You know, their hooves go click, clack.

Speaker 1 Oh, and your wife has hooves, doesn't she?

Speaker 6 She does have hooves. Yeah, you know, baby got back, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 6 Don't cut him some slack, you know. I like back.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I like that one. That one's back in black.

Speaker 6 That one's got we should write a song about that. Yeah, oh

Speaker 3 track.

Speaker 1 Oh, tracks another track.

Speaker 6 Okay, okay, I got my words.

Speaker 6 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go finish.
I'm working on these choruses, and I got a little bit of melody, but I need I need to come up with the use these words that you gave me.

Speaker 6 So let's let's come back to me, and I'm gonna show you, Tov, what I come up with, okay? Okay, okay, I think while Naddy does that, Tov, you may have said you wanted to do something else as well.

Speaker 6 Was there something else on your mind?

Speaker 6 You know, I wanted to just go check in on the privates who are all setting up the officers and maybe, you know, sit by the sleeping Steel Eye and just give him a visit, you know?

Speaker 6 Okay. Just, I've grown so fond of steel eyes.
Is he still slumbering? Yes. Yeah.
You walk back into HQ and they're all still asleep on the shag with nice fluffy pillows now. Oh.

Speaker 6 And Steel Eye is laying there asleep on the pillow, smiling. You've never seen him smile before.
It's weird that when he's asleep now, he's smiling. It's very off-putting.

Speaker 6 Oh, look at that little baby slumbering away with his organic body body parts needing rest and restoration. How sweet.

Speaker 1 What an interesting way to say that.

Speaker 6 I hold his hand and I say, Sergeant Steeli, you have such nice skin. Wow.

Speaker 6 How old have you been? I just wanted to tell you, regale you about all of the fun adventures I've been on in the name of the Mortalian. And, you know, I also just...

Speaker 6 I have a confession to make. I told the rest of the team, but I'd consider you part of the team.
But I'm actually a Thomotech and you just seem so so receptive to things right now.

Speaker 6 You're not screaming at me like usual.

Speaker 6 But yes, I do have a robot body under this visage. And I just wanted to tell you.

Speaker 1 Steel Eye pops open.

Speaker 6 You ever watch Rushmore? It makes me think of when Max Fisher goes to the hospital to see like the headmaster of the school. There's like, you had a stroke.
It's like, he hasn't spoken for days.

Speaker 6 And then Max Fisher walks in and he just opens his eyes. Like, what do you want?

Speaker 10 I love that movie.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's very quietly yell-mumbling in his sleep. Oh, what's that? What's that, Sergeant Steeley? What do you have to say to me?

Speaker 6 Oh, he's dreaming. Captain Grumbles.
Sounds like a loud captain grumbles. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, that's nice, Sergeant Steele Eye. Yes, yes.
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 6 I just wanted to keep Sergeant Steele Eye busy. I just wanted to visit my old friend.
If he was awake, he would say thank you. Oh, he would scream thank you.
Oh, that's nice. Okay.

Speaker 6 Make me a medicine check told. Okay.
It's a 14. Is this where I I find out he is medically dead?

Speaker 6 Now, you, you know, as you're stroking his cheek and confessing your thaumatech origins to him, do you think that he and the rest of the officers who are unconscious here will probably wake up tomorrow in the morning?

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a good sleep for them.

Speaker 6 Yes, that's a very good sleep. Oh, well, you wake up and you yell at all of those privates and you have a good time.
Keep that blood pressure down, though. Okay, kisses.

Speaker 6 Now give him a little kiss on the forehead.

Speaker 6 There it is. Originally, I wanted to train, and I wanted to use like my spider silk leggings that I got in the cave, but I really just wanted to visit with Steel Eye, you know? Oh, I think it's good.

Speaker 6 It's a nice bonding moment. Yeah.
As you're stroking Steel Eye's cheek,

Speaker 6 now the privates are still coming in and out of the war room here. Now they've moved beyond giving the pillows to the officers.

Speaker 6 They're now redoing the wallpaper, I believe, was one of the other instructions then.

Speaker 6 They're tearing the old wallpaper off and plastering up the wallpaper with glue. Good.
Yes. Don't forget it's tie-dye.

Speaker 6 Make sure it's perfect to match the shag carpets and the lava lamps and the disco balls. Oh, yes, sir.
You have impeccable taste

Speaker 6 in wallpaper, sir. And the water bed goes over there.
Yes.

Speaker 6 It's funny how those went away. Yeah.
Okay. Yes, yes, sir.
Waterbed. Got it.

Speaker 6 We'll requisition that right away. Good, okay.
And then, you know, those busts from past generals and things like that? I want to paint them. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 6 You want to paint them or you want us to paint them, sir? I want you to paint them. This has become art class.
I want you to. Express yourselves, okay? Yes, sir.

Speaker 6 So use all sorts of colors and different palettes, you know. I want you to think of the song Party Man from the Batman film, you know, by Prince.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Have fun with it. Express yourselves.
Express yourself. Okay, and this was officially sanctioned by the higher-ups too, sir? Yeah, sure.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, right away.
Honest.

Speaker 6 Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my friend Natty has a fire song to sing to me. Okay.
The privates run out of the war room to go look for pink.

Speaker 6 Okay, hold on. I just need to get my key.
What are you unlocking? Music. I'm actually playing a note on piano.
Just a second. Oh, oh, oh.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Micah, John's coming for your job.

Speaker 6 Uh-oh, watch out. Big brother's on the hunt for your job.
I'm taking this assignment seriously, okay? Yeah, apparently. Okay, so nervous.
So nervous. Breathe.

Speaker 6 Just breathe with your orchestra lungs, yes. Just in and out with the air.
Okay, the title of the song. You want to know the title? Of course.
Yes. It's Dancing with Death.

Speaker 10 Ooh, that's a very lovely title.

Speaker 6 Here's how it goes. Dancing with death, she's my sugar sweet bride.
She fills me with love. I feel like I've died.
When the reaper comes a calling, honey, don't hold your breath.

Speaker 6 It's a party in the graveyard when you're dancing with death.

Speaker 6 And then then there's one more, and then a little bit more, and then we go.

Speaker 6 My silent lady steed, she's a beautiful gal. Clippity clop, clippity clop, her sight makes me howl.
When the midnight bell rings, darling, don't you look back?

Speaker 6 You'll be laughing in the afterlife with my lady in black. Whoa!

Speaker 6 I don't know how this is happening because this is not my real skin, but I have these goose dumps now. What is this feeling? That's amazing.
That was really good. There you go.
Genuinely goosebumps.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Doug is a standing evasion.

Speaker 6 Give me some inspiration, Doug. If you don't have one, good.
I'll take one. That was good.

Speaker 6 That was

Speaker 6 very good. Micah, that's a that's a G C D C no, G C D G progression.
There you go.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's no gum, gum, gum, gum. Here comes the sunshine.

Speaker 6 I don't know what you're talking about, Doug. That was deeply moving.

Speaker 6 Doug, you know, you're working on your invention, you know, really focusing on it, looking at it, trying to piece together all of these spare parts that you found.

Speaker 6 And as you're doing that, you have to blink a couple times because you see a face slowly materializing and appearing on top of your invention, looking back at you.

Speaker 6 The face appears to be half metal mask and half obscured with a void of stars and a body of clouds.

Speaker 6 And then as you're looking at it, the face begins to almost like emerge from the invention and begins standing up. And then there's a person standing before you.

Speaker 6 You look around and you're no longer in the workshop. You're in a room with a reflective floor almost like glass.
A ceiling made of starry constellations constantly shifting.

Speaker 6 Small puffs of clouds slowly circle the room. It's almost like the clouds are granting you visions of future technologies.

Speaker 6 What kind of future technology do you think Doug might see in those clouds?

Speaker 1 I don't even know if he'd be able to like grasp the concept of future technologies because if it hasn't been invented yet, I imagine it's maybe ways to communicate with the gods or even like people who have passed or like see through different like dimensions or realms or anything like that.

Speaker 1 I think that's something he envisions being something he would like to have.

Speaker 6 Yeah. You know, that's what they say about technology, right? Like advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Yeah. And it's, you know, it's just like really eye-opening for you.

Speaker 6 And the figure before you speaks. Hello, you.

Speaker 6 How are you doing? What's this you're working on?

Speaker 1 Is it uh it's just an invention for for a contest?

Speaker 6 Who are you? Oh, I'm the veiled eye. I love inventions.
Why don't you tell me more about it?

Speaker 1 First of all, it's a it's a pleasure to meet you, oh great and powerful veiled eye.

Speaker 6 Oh, what's your name?

Speaker 1 I'm Doug Boone.

Speaker 6 Doug Boone.

Speaker 6 Nice to meet you, Doug. Nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 Um, I'm just working on a little adventure for a contest, but it's still, you know, it's a work in progress, so I'm kind of a little embarrassed if you're looking at it right now.

Speaker 6 Oh, it seems impressive. Does this help locate creatures?

Speaker 1 It does.

Speaker 6 How'd you

Speaker 1 guess you ought to be able to die so you would know?

Speaker 6 Oh, yes, it seems like fine-quality craftsmanship. You should be very proud of this progress, Doug.

Speaker 1 No, I don't say this lightly, but I think I could die happy right now.

Speaker 6 It's not your time, Doug.

Speaker 6 You have to bring me your invention in person.

Speaker 1 This one?

Speaker 10 Yes, I need you to finish it and present it to me.

Speaker 1 Are you judging the contest?

Speaker 6 That's a little weird.

Speaker 6 I don't know about any contest, but I think this invention has great potential. Why don't you come to Meadow Canyon and bring me this device so I can ascertain its capabilities?

Speaker 1 Meadow Canyon, but we're gonna make our way to the Boiling Bluffs. Are you still gonna be there for hot second?

Speaker 6 I think I'm always there.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow, that's beautiful.

Speaker 6 Are there any other inventions you're working on that you could show me?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'd be glad to start on something for you. What do you need?

Speaker 6 Oh, I love all inventions. Okay, well, Gambot.
Gambot.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, he is my prized possession, but I do have a

Speaker 1 little steel defender named Gambot. He helps protect me and my friends.

Speaker 10 Oh, isn't he adorable?

Speaker 6 The Veiled Eye reaches out and like pats Gambot on the top of the head.

Speaker 1 Has anything happened to Gambot?

Speaker 6 Uh, it doesn't seem like it. Uh, as I can see, Gambot's head spins around.

Speaker 6 Gambot is evolving.

Speaker 6 Nerds. I sense you have something in your heart waiting to be made, Doug.

Speaker 1 I guess I just don't feel as inspired lately. Some of my inventions in the past have caused so much pain, and I guess I'm just afraid.

Speaker 6 Well, the past is just that. It's time to move forward and learn and grow.
I have faith in you, Duck Boone, that you'll be able to do whatever you set your mind to.

Speaker 6 Want to give me like a little clue or a little hint, maybe?

Speaker 6 Map.

Speaker 6 Uh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Wait, what was your name again?

Speaker 6 Oh no.

Speaker 6 Find out what happens and what's going on with the veiled eye in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You're not threatening our lives at the end of this episode.

Speaker 6 This is great.

Speaker 6 Someone on the edge of a cliff about to fall or anything like that. God beasts rather than

Speaker 6 stinging everywhere.

Speaker 6 New episodes of Tales of the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free?

Speaker 6 You can support us by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or join as a member on beacon.tv. Both give you early, ad-free access, and a member-only Discord for each platform.

Speaker 6 Looking for even more stinky content and community perks?

Speaker 6 Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events, and potentially a shout-out on the show.

Speaker 6 just like Nova Brett, Lemon Beetle 0321, Jasperwood121, Ghost Toast, I like that, Ghost Toast, and Stoes. We'd like to give a birthday shout-out to Dahlia Bober, November 12th, became a big stinker.

Speaker 6 Welcome, Dahlia. These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second One in Behind the Screen, and other stinky perks.

Speaker 6 Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them, like The Recruit, voiced by Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore Ben.

Speaker 6 The Veiled Eye, voiced by Andre Oulette, at Andre Krat, Renesus, named after René De Jesus, voiced by James Willems and Zach Anner, at james.willems and at zach.anner from Answer for It podcast.

Speaker 6 You can actually follow them at Answer for It Show and here's a little clip from them.

Speaker 15 Answer for It is a freewheeling trivia podcast with an emphasis on the trivial.

Speaker 1 It's hosted by me, Funhouse's Elise Willems.

Speaker 12 I ask the questions and we answer them. And when we don't have the answers, we just make one up.

Speaker 19 When you're as young as we are, it has to be an improv podcast.

Speaker 6 I'm James Willems.

Speaker 12 You may know me from YouTube or the shirtless photos I post online, which by default makes me the most qualified to answer any health science questions you may have.

Speaker 10 I'm AJ Locasio.

Speaker 12 I'm a voice actor with roles in X-Men 97, Voltron Legendary Defender, and most of my contributions to the podcast are funny voices.

Speaker 19 And I'm Zach Andler. And while I may be both a high school and college dropout, I do have something called a doctorate from Walt Disney World.

Speaker 12 Basically, we riff on Elise's questions, going on tangents and tumbling down weird comedic rabbit holes, kind of like this trailer.

Speaker 15 New episodes of the Answer Forward podcast are available every Tuesday.

Speaker 19 Come for the questions. Leave for the answers.

Speaker 6 We love those guys and their show. They've been longtime friends to us, so please check out Answer Forward's show.
Can't recommend them enough.

Speaker 6 This week's error question was submitted by RPG Freaky and Pisky Business and Hub.

Speaker 6 This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Speaker 6 Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragons.

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