C03 - Ep. 28 - From On Hyra - No Sorcerest for the Weary

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Salutations, all you saddle slime, squelch on into the stinky dragon, and throw back our latest thirst quencher, yippee kai-ye, mother flubber.

It's a mixture of pseudo-peas in a pod, gurgling green tea leaves, the chair you threw out last week on the side of the road that vanished all too quickly, and now you're having second thoughts on whether or not it was actually a good chair.

Should you have gotten the seat a second chance?

Will other chairs support your tissue the way your old one did?

Will you ever truly sit comfortably again?

Previously, our adventurers saddled up for a raucous race with a volatile voice vociferated atop Cractus.

After a rush around the race course, B-team booked it to the crest of crackus and said hello to a screaming scapegoat that sent them to some sleepy sorcerers.

Now they find themselves touch and go as they go with the flow.

Cobble a cup and let's continue this cucodrus chronicle.

Hello, everyone, welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola.

Hey, Blaine, how are you?

Hey, Blaine, watch out.

I'm going to hit you with an arrow.

Oh, no, point blank.

10.

I wish we were video podcasting.

Everyone could see how I looked at Chris.

The question this week is: if you were the main character in the comic book, what would your superhero name be?

And that was submitted by Amon Reddy.

Everyone, go ahead and roll a D20.

I know Chris has a 10.

13.

10-3.

I rolled a 19.

Ooh.

All right.

So it looks like we got John, Blaine, Chris Barbara, if I'm reading those right.

19-19-10-3.

All right.

Natty slash John.

Why don't you lead us off?

Hi, I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, drag, queen, warlock mother.

And if I was going to be a superhero with like an alter ego, it's a funny question to ask me, considering Natty Wonder is already a stage name.

So I've already like burned one of my

fake names already.

But if I was a superhero, and some might say being a mom is a superhero i was gonna ask you about that yeah yeah yeah

it's one of the most like difficult superhero jobs and you don't get paid by anything and it's uh difficult for like you know forever i would probably come up with a name that like plays into my ability to kind of get lost in all my disguises and voices since i'm so gosh darn good at that and i i would probably kind of play into like the enigma of that the mystery of that and i i pick something like Mystique because

I love me some French.

I think it's so glamorous when people have little French stuff.

And so I love Mystique, you know, that little Q-U-E sound.

Like, how's that work?

But I love it.

I'm such a fool.

I just realized that Natty was just your way of building Mystique and D and D.

It's the voice of Mystique's daughter.

I was going to say that there's someone from the previous campaign who would be very familiar with the word Mystique and the Q-U-E.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But But we don't talk about that because he sucks.

Who are you thinking of?

Sleek?

That was 2K.

I was talking about a Matid-Pumpyka.

Mate, our French character.

Oh, my bad.

I'm so sorry.

I thought we were crapping on Sleek today.

I was like, yeah,

I'm here for it.

That was so aggressive and confrontational.

I thought you were just being mean to John.

Yeah.

Blaine hates Mateed.

No.

Okay, let me give you out here.

Mateed also sucks.

I said that.

Yeah.

That's right.

It's Blaine Gibson.

I'm rolling right into mine because I rolled a 13.

Yeah, Guses give me the thumbs up.

That means it's my turn.

Bring back a kyborg energy.

Sorry, sleek just like brought some chills down my spine.

Hello.

I play Tolv, the male Thaumatech barbarian level six.

Micah changed it from orc to Thaumatech because he was tired of me messing it up.

And you hoard me, Tolv.

And if I were to be

superhero, I think I would take on some sort of, you know, secret identity so that no one could find out who I am.

So I would be like 12 or like 12 man or 12 boy, you know, I don't know, one of those.

And maybe I would have like the 12s.

It would be like 12 elves and they would be like my support team.

12s.

Yeah, the 12s.

Yeah.

So I don't think anybody would be able to crack that.

Would you have like a whole bunch of arms as well?

Kind of like someone you really admire.

No, I don't know who might have multiple arms

in a different campaign.

Like more than three and less than five so four arms that sounds stupid no i hate that idea so anyways 12 12 boy yeah 12 boy all right

that's a journey i feel like

but in a way 12 already kind of has a secret identity since he's wearing bjorn skin yeah it's kind of like you already have a disguise on and you have like a power that you're hiding from everyone or you were it's also like my name was like plain sight it was 12 all along so i know that it would also work if I just called myself 12 man or 12 boy.

Because you idiots didn't pick up on that sooner or I'm so sorry.

I'm very aggressive today.

I need to calm down.

Hey, hey, Blaine, what kind of coffee did you have?

An iced mocha from Dutch Brothers.

Yeah.

So sugar and coffee.

Yes, yes.

I think that should be your question every single episode to gauge how we're going to be playing.

Yeah, no kidding.

What kind of coffee did you have today?

Let's get a coffee check.

All right.

Thanks, Blaine.

So next up, we've got Chris.

Hi, I'm Chris Tamares.

I play Gunther, the Croak Folk Fighter.

And my superhero name.

There's several options.

It could be the Croak Folk Avenger.

Oh.

Or if I was to team up with Bundup, then it would be Toad Man and Ribbit.

Oh.

I would be Ribbit.

Or if the four of us were to team up and have some sort of supergroup, then it would be the Fantastic Frogs.

I like those, actually.

Yeah, let's get rid of B-Team.

Let's get a Brutality team and let's go with that one.

Brutella team is out.

Fantastic Frogs in.

I am down for this.

I'm already green.

I look the part.

I hear it's not easy.

No.

I'm a little distracted.

I was having a side conversation with Micah here.

I think initially he had written Croakfolk of Injure.

O-F-Space I-N-J-U-R-E, like, ah, stab injury.

Oh.

Ah.

Instead of Avenger.

So it was like, hmm.

Avenger also works.

That went over my head because I don't know what Chris said after he said Croakfolk.

I couldn't understand

Avenger.

Okay.

So it makes sense.

The Reisingers could not hear the word Avenger today for some reason.

Or at least the way Chris said it.

Well, it is interesting because Gunther has such an unusual cadence to his delivery.

Gunther puts the accent on strange syllables and then his tone rises and falls as he's delivering lines.

It's like it catches me off guard every time we start a session.

Well, I don't know if you know this or if our audience knows this, but Chris's English is his second language.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Is Chrome Poke your first?

No, Goblin.

His first language is he doesn't know a language.

It's just a series of grunts and points.

Yeah.

There it is.

All right.

Thanks, Chris.

Really appreciate that.

And then last today, we've got Barbara.

Well, hello, everyone.

I'm Barbara Dunkelman.

I play Doug Boone, a character who no one has trouble understanding when I speak in my character voice.

He is a bugbear artificer, currently level six.

A five and a six look very similar when your eyesight is very bad.

Turns out.

And, you know, Doug Boone actually is quite a fan of comic books.

You know, he just likes to read.

You know, he gets a little distracted by the pictures every now and then.

He wishes there was a little less of them.

But

something that he learned is that typically smart characters are professors.

And so I think if Doug was going to be a character in one of these, he'd be a really good guy named Professor Iron Paw.

Iron Paw.

I like it.

He'd be, you know, one of the people who teaches people how to invent things and inspiring all the young folk, even the quoke folk.

Young dim folk.

All dim folk.

It almost sounds like a villain name, just letting you know.

Like, it could be Inspector Gadget's other villain.

Yeah.

I guess it depends on how you say it.

If you're like, oh, Professor Iron Paw.

Oh, okay.

That's a good guy.

Yeah, yeah.

But if you're like, Professor Iron Paw.

Oh, no, no, no.

That's a bad guy.

That's a bad guy.

I feel like the word paw, though, immediately makes it less intimidating.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's true.

I don't know.

Is Doug in a chair maniacally stroking a white fluffy cat in his arms?

Is that what he's doing?

No, he's stroking a gambot.

By stroking it, it's cleaning the dirt off.

All right.

I like the name, Iron Paw.

That's cool.

I like it and go multiple ways.

Gus, what's your bad guy name?

My bad guy name?

Yeah, or your good guy name, whatever.

I don't know.

You'd be an anti-hero.

I didn't think about this.

I had to prepare.

My superhero name is Dorcas.

All right.

That's no C-squad.

Blaine is hitting Gus with an arrow.

Yeah.

Ow.

If you're not a member of our Patreon, Dorkius is a character from one of our cavern tales called Sea Squad, which Patreon members get access to over at stingydragonpod.com.

All levels.

Gus is a player.

Yeah.

It was fun.

That was fun.

Forward match.

You all enter the water and realize that the aqueduct is kind of deep, you know, and is moving fairly quickly.

Why don't all four of you make dexterity checks just to see how you're able to keep your footing and if you're able to resist the strong flow of the water?

Ooh, five.

That's an 11.

17.

Oh my dear god, six.

But did Natty give me an inspiration a while ago?

I did.

Can I use that, Gus?

Or was it like you need to use it in the moment?

Ooh, 15.

I won't use mine yet.

I'm gonna keep the five.

Well, I just made a whole huff about being the water guy, so if I were to fail in front of Gunther, I would never hear the end of it.

He'd be like, all right, 20 zero.

I'd be like, our barbarian failing on a bunch of strain check.

Doug and Naddy lose their balance and get swept up with the current.

The water rushes them forward, knocking them into Gunther and Toll.

The momentum causes everyone to spin and flail about.

Soon, you all are careening down a dark underground tunnel, caught up in the current, unable to see clearly.

Amongst the splashes, skittering noises shuffle along the tunnel ceiling, and several beady eyes leer at you from above.

One after another, lizards leap from the ceiling, lunging for your faces.

As you enter the crackus, four lizards fall down onto you from above, falling straight at your faces.

What do y'all want to do?

Gunther quick, your cousins, they're here.

Are they like humanoid lizards or just like lizard lizards?

No, no, lizard lizards, like kind of big lizards.

We should talk.

They do not like to swim.

They're falling from above, like onto our heads, kind of situation.

Kind of like onto your faces.

Like, yeah, your head.

They also cannot figure out the lift situation.

Do not let them attack.

They could plant a seed inside of you.

Like facehuggers.

Could Doug take out his shovel that he has in his inventory and just like pop it over him and as many people as possible to cover them almost like an umbrella?

Sure.

Doug, why don't you make a...

I'll let you make the decision, either dexterity or a sleight of hand check to see if you're able to get that shovel up and block yourself.

Then depending on the success, maybe we can have it not only cover you, but someone else.

I'll do dexterity.

They're the same modifier, but ugh six.

Yeah, you pull your shovel out and try to cover yourself but you don't quite get in time gunther kind of gets in the way with all of his flailing around and uh you're not able to accurate well i'm picturing you like kermit now with like kind of wavy arms you're not able to fully deploy it and uh one of the lizards plops down on you and it's like square on your face does it like have any effect is it doing anything i'm gonna see if anyone else wants to do anything first before we start resolving that did gunther try and grab it off of her face well you have to deal with one that's falling on you first oh that's right it's like when the masks come down on an airplane you need to deal with yourself your first

before you do it.

That's a good point.

I will also try to shield myself with my actual shield, and then I guess venture to try to save Natty.

Okay, again, like the oxygen mask, deal with yourself first.

For sure.

Since you're pulling your shield out, let's call this a dexterity saving throw.

Okay.

Which I have advantage on.

15.

Oh, but I'm not done yet.

21.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

You're able to pull your shield out and block the lizard that's about to hit you.

And then what was your second part of your action?

Since you rolled a 21, well, we'll say you're able to do something else as well.

Well, if I block one with my shield,

I would see the one coming for Natty, and I would try to reach out and grab it before it hits Natty.

Ooh, okay.

Make a...

We'll call it an attack roll, like without a weapon, like an unarmed attack roll.

Okay.

Must protect my queen.

I'm invite knighting you.

21.

That's pretty cool.

So I assume Toll uses his shield in his left hand.

John, what did the art for Toll.

Which hand did he use?

I'm going to say right hand because Blaine would swing his hammer with his left.

And if the shirt reflects otherwise, then just buy it anyways, please.

It's coming out eventually.

I don't know when.

Are you really left-handed, Blaine?

I'm mixed-handed.

It's like a crappier version of Ambidextrius.

You just spat at both?

Yes, exactly, Chris.

Thank you.

How did I not know this about you?

I've known you like over a decade.

Yeah, I know, man.

I don't know.

I guess you just stopped looking at me after a while.

No, absentee father.

All right.

So, the art does have your shield in the left hand, but that must be a mirrored image.

Yes.

Yeah, that's that's what's going on there.

So, you raise your shield with your right hand, block the lizard from falling on you.

It falls down, hits your shield, and bounces off and falls in another direction.

Then, like with almost again, with almost like superhero reflex speed, you turn and your other arm shoots out and grabs the lizard right as it's about to fall onto Natty.

Tall boy.

Do you want to grasp it or do you want to like punch it out of the way?

I'm going to punch it.

Yeah, let's punch it.

I don't know if I want this thing slithered into my hand.

Just roll me a.

Let's just call it a D8.

Okay.

That's an eight.

You punch the lizard so hard that it doesn't even fall in the water.

It like goes over the bank and it falls out onto the riverbank upside down.

And I do that thing that that one politician did where I go,

Blaine is no longer up for re-election.

Can Natty respond to that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Natty.

It's easier to.

Wow, Toad, that was amazing.

I didn't even see you switch your shield from your right hand, where you usually hold your shield to your left hand.

That was so impressive.

Yeah, I don't know if you know this, but I'm mixed-handed, so I can swap it back and forth.

It's okay.

Not many people know it.

Even people you've considered, you know, like best friends for over 10 years, you know.

I just want to say, I think even Natty got it wrong.

Natty said switched it from the right hand to the left hand, but it's supposed to be in the right hand because he swings the hammer with his left hand instead.

Well, you know, I'll forgive Natty because they're a fictional character, but Gus, I expected more from you.

Well, we'll continue this discussion in Second Wind about Toll's preferred hand, which is available to patrons at sneakingdryingpod.com.

All right.

Anything else you want to do, Natty?

Or is it, can I pass on to Chris?

I mean, my lids are just taken care of.

Okay.

Chris slash Gunther.

Well, I was going to go with ducking under the water and swimming past, but I really like the visual of Kermity.

So just like slapping at the

at the lizard okay yeah yeah

which let's be honest that's probably what I would do in that same situation

in that case make me let's call it two unarmed strikes because you're you're flailing both arms around okay at disadvantage

nine and a five

excellent somehow flailing your arms around does not yield the results you would expect and the lizard almost seems to be dodging your hands and falls and lands right on your face.

I wave like I just don't care.

Quick Gunther before he sells you car insurance.

Okay, so there's a lizard on both Doug and Gunther's faces.

They scurry around and it seems like they make a beeline for your precious eyes and looking for the moisture on your eyes and they're both trying to lick it off but they fail.

What?

They like they're trying to get to your eye, but they can't quite get there.

Metagame-wise, they tried to make an attack roll to lick up your eye fluid, but uh, they missed.

So, you got lizards on your faces.

What do you want to do?

It seems like they're really intent on eating your precious eyeballs.

Can I head-butt Doug?

What?

So that both of our lizards smash each other.

Okay, should we go?

Different.

Yeah, so I guess I'll help with this.

Okay.

I was going to say, if Doug wasn't helping, there's a height difference here that we're going to have to negotiate.

But if Doug's going to go down, all right.

Yeah.

Both of you make attack roll.

Both of them down.

Both of you make attack rolls.

That means Doug has like a lot of wind up.

They're going to lean back and then just go,

and gravity assisted.

Like what kind of attack roll?

Like an unarmed strike.

An unarmed strike.

Unarmed.

Yeah.

This is the most pure form of an unarmed strike.

There are no arms involved.

I mean, this is...

I'm going to use my inspiration back because that was a five.

Okay.

Well.

Nat 20.

Well, I have got a good counter for that.

A one.

Oh, I did a nat 20 and you did a one.

Where does that end up, Gus?

Yeah, I'm going to say that that means that Doug gets a wind up and goes down to meet Gunther's headbutt and is successful.

The headbutts connect, but Doug's headbutt is so powerful that it forces Gunther under the water.

Like,

it essentially knocks Gunther flat on his back.

It would be like tubing on the river, but there's no tube.

Well, the lizards are looking for water, so wouldn't that be good?

That he landed in the water?

Because then they'll be like, oh, actual water.

I could get off your face now.

They're looking for precious eye fluid, eye juice.

Ew.

These are dastardly creatures.

Eye moisture is so important.

You can't say any of this.

You're knocked cold.

You are knocked cold.

You hear gurgling.

As the bubbles come up and pop, you hear the words like in a cartoon.

Alternatively, it could be the thing where the bubbles come up and when they pop, the text appears.

Yeah.

Instead of hearing the sound, you can read the text of what he was saying.

Okay, but yeah, because of the high roll, though, the lizards do fall off as well and they're floating away.

Am I drowning?

Am I knocked out?

Yeah, no, you're fine.

You're fine.

I'll toll fish out, Gunther.

Okay, great.

Who are you?

I'm just gonna shake him by his little froggy leg to dry him off and bring him back to his senses.

Ah, it worked perfectly.

Good job.

So you all emerge unscathed for the most part from the lizards, and you find yourself inside Cragtas.

Just to refresh your memory, this is that huge boulder-like object that you had ridden the lifts up to the top of and was about 100 feet feet tall

and we saw that animal at the top there escapecoat yeah so yeah you look around and you see on the interior it's like a huge cavern and in here you see what appear to be beds carved out of rock as well as a fountain and some people milling about wait a second are they beds or are they catacombs like like dead people beds they appear to be regular beds from what you can tell i was trying to get the head of the pun you know like cactus, crack disease, catacombs, you know.

I like

bedrock.

Oh, that's.

That's the name of the deity, isn't it?

Yeah.

Good memory.

Or good memory and or good notes.

Both.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, definitely remember that by myself, not flipping back a page to last week's episode.

I do remember, you know, they were talking about how sleep is very sacred.

So maybe this is like their temple or something like that, because it's all the beds.

Yeah, okay.

That makes sense.

Do they have like a fountain of warm milk and like a bunch of blankets in one corner?

Like what kind of sleepy vibes do they have?

Their communion is they just take melatonin.

Remind me, canonically, what happened.

We entered this place at the behest of somebody.

There was somebody.

It was a sorceress.

Escape.

Flynn.

Flynn.

No, they were talking about Flynn.

Did we get the sorceress's name?

I don't think we did.

So we're entering here and there's people in here.

Have they seen us or are we entering stealthily?

I don't want to alarm you, but Gus is rolling dice.

Yep.

I'm always rolling dice.

Why don't you make me a let's call it a perception check for me, Naddy?

That's a 15 plus

perception.

Three, 18.

Stop rolling dice.

He's rolling perception checks for everybody in the room.

That's what he's doing.

Yeah.

It looks like they have not noticed you so far.

Okay, then as, according to my notes, current team leader, I put my hand up like a mom stopping the kids getting flying towards the front of the car when you hit the brakes.

And I say, shh,

and I gather the team around to make a game plan because we're kind of entering this place without any kind of a strategy.

Who puts her in charge?

I think it might have been you.

Oh, my God, you're right.

Does it seem like there is a leader?

If I remember correctly, we're here.

That's John.

If I remember correctly.

Because the scapegoat, they're up there to like pay for all the nastiness and sins of everybody here.

And so I'm worried maybe we should enter this place with some sort of idea of what is our goal.

Well, I think we should find, you know, Bedrock or the person that is like the mouthpiece for the Bedrock.

And see if we can maybe negotiate some other terms for how we can deal with this, like, bad voodoo so that they will not not blame the scapegoats.

Because I think that that's what you're here to do: save the scapegoat.

Yep, save the scapegoat, save the world.

The scapegoat, save the world.

And then the cheerleader.

Why can't the scapegoat be a cheerleader, huh?

Huh?

I mean, the scapegoat could be whatever they want to be after they get out of here, you know.

Why don't we enter this room as like we're curious about joining their church?

How about that?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm gonna start looking real sleepy.

Oh, perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Barbara stop.

Oh.

Stop it.

I'm going to yawn in real life.

My eyes are watering now.

And Tolv, who doesn't sleep, is like, yes, I'm so sleepy.

I'm also extremely sleepy.

So is Doug making like loud kind of exaggerated fake yawns?

Yeah, but I think in doing the fake yawns, they would turn into real yawns because that is something that happens to me.

If I'm trying to fake a yawn, it then turns into a real one.

And Tolv

even helped us live it.

Why don't you carry Gunther who's sleeping?

Oh, good idea.

Okay.

I'll take a nap.

I will hold him like a baby.

I will bundle him.

I think they might really like me here because I'm like a giant teddy bear.

And so I'm like designed for sleeping.

Yes.

They will like pay you to be in their religion.

Yeah.

At the yawning, one of uh it looks like one of the people who's milling about turns and notices and begins slowly walking over.

Like casually?

Yeah, it seems like pretty casual.

They're running at us with swords.

You know, this is a theater of the mind podcast.

I have to know how they're approaching us.

Okay, then I'll walk up to them and say in a very, very dulcet low tone, howdy, my name is Natty.

Hello.

Um,

Pyodor.

How are you?

I'm doing fine, Pyoder.

We're just new in town, and we heard about your little uh, are they a religion, Gus?

Would that be accurate?

Yes, I think that would be accurate.

We heard about your religion, and I'm sure you can tell just from the look of us, we are ready to participate in your great tidings.

Oh that's good.

What have you learned about it?

Well you know that's a good question because we've just kind of learned the surface level stuff and I'm hoping you can give me a little more information.

We do know that y'all really do value slate and you like bedrock.

Yes, acquiring knowledge is good but you need experience as well.

That's interesting to say.

And is that experience taking a little nap ski in one of these beds and going and drift off to Dreamland?

Yeah, Flynn could probably help you with that.

He runs the show.

And Joda kind of turns and points at one of the other people who's milling about.

Okay.

I think I would love to talk to Flynn.

Just be careful.

Sometimes some people here get a little nervous when we have unexpected guests, but you know, you four seem all right.

Yes, we love sleep.

I am such a big fan of sleep.

Oh, are you?

Yes.

What's your favorite part of sleep?

When you close your eyes.

Hmm.

Yes,

I know all about sleep.

Yes, the beginning, hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah, the anticipation of what's to come.

Yes,

I love when my mouth goes,

which is what I do when I sleep because I sleep.

Yeah.

A classic sleeper here.

Yep, that's me.

I've been doing it for years.

And what is like the typical range of hours of sleep one would get, Toll?

Oh, you know, anywhere from, you know, Vaughan to 24 hours.

Yeah.

He's so good at sleeping, he should be a sleeper agent.

Oh, yeah, it's very good.

Oh, I thought you were sleeping.

Go back.

I cradled the baby.

Okay.

This is my son.

Notice how we are both green.

This is my boy, my baby boy.

Oh.

He taught me everything I know about sleeping.

That's right.

Go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Okay, so we're going to go talk to Fleming.

That's okay.

Yeah, let him know Pyotr sent you.

Maybe it'll open some doors for you.

Maybe it won't.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, Pyotr.

All right.

And then can we walk over to Flynn?

Yeah, I assume you all begin.

Well, you told me you were heading in that direction.

Besides Pyotr, who, you know, obviously came over and separated himself from the group to come talk to you all.

There appear to be six other people milling about.

And all of them in here seem to be wearing like an aquamarine pajama gown and nightcaps.

Are they doing anything in particular?

They just kind of chat with each other.

Are they participating in any sort of rituals or anything like that?

That's a great question.

Make me a perception check please that's 14.

oh it's pretty good a few of them are having conversations talking to each other however the bulk of them seem to be working on some kind of alchemy it seems like they're brewing potions and medicines of some kind

i'd be able to walk over to where they're doing that and see what they're like putting in it and maybe using my knowledge of like science and chemistry to to figure out like what they're actually making yeah doug sees science happening and like the whole rest of the world disappears and

like a cartoon doug Doug isn't walking.

Like he's lifted off his feet.

Like when a cartoon character smells something and like an apple character.

Like there wafts in it.

Right.

Yeah.

Except you see science.

It's like your eyes pulling you forward to like beakers and Erlenmeyer flasks.

Oh my gosh.

This is excited.

We're going to talk about science.

I know.

I didn't realize I was dreaming already.

Am I right, guys?

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You walk up, yeah, they notice you coming, and they kind of turn around to kind of, how can I say, to kind of regard you and see this lumbering giant walking towards them.

Regards, my fellow chemists.

What uh, what are we all brewing here?

Uh-huh.

Oh, so like, are you trying to make like a sleep potion like to help you actually fall asleep, stay asleep?

Like what's this what's the problem we're trying to solve?

Two of them kind of look at each other and then look back at you and say, maybe you should talk to Flynn first.

We really shouldn't be talking to you.

Flynn can probably fill you in on what's happening.

It's uh not something we should be discussing with uh with outsiders.

Oh, well, I'm not an outsider.

I'm right here.

I'm inside.

And uh yeah, Flynn said it would be fine.

You know, I actually am a professional, and so I'm just making sure you guys are uh have all the ingredients you need and uh making sure your you know measurements are correct and everything like that.

Uh, why don't you roll me a deception check?

Eat for

really?

We noticed you come straight here from the aqueduct.

Yeah,

that's right.

I was sent through the aqueduct by Flynn.

Oh,

that lies deepened.

We're happy to talk to you, but all you have to do is talk to Flynn.

And once he gives us the okay, then uh, yeah, we'll be we'll be happy to fill you in.

Once you're in with Flynn, then you're a-okay okay, as I'd like to saying here,

yeah,

sure.

All right, well, you know, I could have helped you, but you know, maybe I won't now, since you know, you don't trust me.

We'll make our own purple drink.

If you want to help, one of them turns around and grabs a flask and hands it to you.

You can drink this.

Could Doug smell it, see if he could tell what's in it?

Yeah, make a

perception check.

Oh man, okay, seven.

It smells pretty gross, like stagnant water.

You know, I think I'm gonna pass.

But here, you take this back.

I'll go talk to Flynn and then, you know, we'll be back to check in.

Wait, is that a Baba?

I could give it to my son in my arms here.

You would.

I don't think any of us should drink this.

No, no, he's so thirsty.

He needs his Baba.

It's Baba time, isn't that right?

Yes, Baba.

I need my Baba.

You all have a mother with a literal child.

Yes, that is my wife.

Yeah, we're all one big happy family.

Mama.

As I'm leaving the table, could I just see, like, could I just quickly glance at what ingredients they might have?

Yeah, I'll let you make a call, either perception or investigation check.

Perception.

Hit 20.

Do you see that not only are there potions out on their table, but some of the finished products that they're working on seem also to be like salves and food of some kind that's been created created alchemically.

And as far as ingredients, it seems like water seems to be one of the predominant ingredients that's portioned out here.

The secret ingredient for sleep, water.

That makes me get up while I'm sleeping.

What did you roll again?

A 20?

I rolled a 20, yeah.

The water seems a little unusual.

It's shimmering with various hues of like blues and greens.

It's not just like well water that you would get and, you know, be drinking or water out of a river.

There seems to be like some kind of iridescence about it.

Did it look like the water that Gunther fell into when we were attacked by the lizards?

No.

Seemed distinct from that.

But the lizards were going after eye water.

They were.

Yes.

That we all know shimmers with blues and greens.

Notoriously.

Do you think that that's what this is?

Is the eyewater stuff?

Like, oh my god.

Eye drops.

I think the only way we can find out is if Gunther drinks this.

Uh, yes, Papa.

So thirsty.

Ah.

No, Gunther, no.

No.

Ah.

No, you're so thirsty.

Look at him.

I mean, if he wants to be a test subject.

I like this constant cutting back to Gunther with his mouth open.

Ah, this is this conversation happening.

I'm gonna go ahead and feed him the water.

Okay, yeah, I guess as Doug, you finish your conversation and turn to walk away to go talk to Flynn, and like you do that thing where you turn to your right, but from your left side, Tov walks up with Gunther so you don't see him.

And Tolv grabs the flask and feeds it like a bottle to Gunther, who's cradled in his arms.

We've We've been traveling for so long and he's so thirsty.

Look at him.

Take a papa.

He loves it.

So what does this stuff do anyways?

We're curious to see.

Well, we're happy to help.

I just re-watched Mickey 17.

I'm getting major expendables vibes here.

Gunther, you can feel like a warmth as the liquid travels down your esophagus into your stomach and then it radiates out from your stomach all to your extremities, to like your arms your legs your fingers and your toes and you feel like a calming warmth just settle over you

are you peeing on me right now

well he is a frog well not only could you fall asleep but you feel like you can control sleep a little bit oh control sleep like lucid dreams metagame wise if you want for the rest of today for the rest of this session that we're playing on you can cast the sleep spell on yourself yourself oh

you can try to cast it on others but there's gonna be a check and it might backfire gunther if you need to get out of like a bad conversation just put yourself to sleep

i have all power of sleep it is warm and comfy you know we are just trying to get involved with this religion so we're happy to help in any way uh

interesting okay one of them turns around and grabs like a little sachet of what appear to be like leaves and herbs and hands it to you and says, you can chew on this.

Me or the baby?

You.

Because you said you're happy to help.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

I'll put it in my mouth.

Look at the hay.

Okay.

What is this?

Is this like a salad?

What is this?

It seems to have no effect on you.

It's like you're chewing on leaves and sticks and nothing seems to happen.

And what is the

intention of this?

Is this also like a sleep potion?

We're trying to find out.

And they begin writing down on some scrolls that they have.

Oh, yes.

Very sleepy.

Opens my nasal passages.

Wow.

If you want to help further, you can go take a nap on one of our rock beds.

And they point over to the beds.

That sounds like a great idea, but I think first, gay, we should probably go talk to Flynn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, we know what he looks like, but just to confirm that you guys know what he looks like, why don't you describe him for us?

I'm laughing at the initial plan, was like, let's just go in there and let them know we're curious about their religion.

And And you guys have gone complete, like, lie crazy with like,

we're immersing ourselves in their customs.

That's the fine.

That's fine.

Hey, it's a choice, and I support it.

I'm here.

I'm here to support it.

I love it.

They pointed Flynn out specifically for you, but I will describe him.

I think that's a good question.

He appears to be a slightly older orc, not like super old, but not, you know, very young either.

On the, I would say the back half of middle age, maybe a little older than that.

This is the most you've ever gone into detail about the age of something we've approached.

He's got a weathered face, and he's wearing a sleeping gown and a nightcap, like everyone else.

It's made of aquamarine silk that sparkles.

Let's go talk to Flynn.

Okay.

Oh, I assume all four of you head over to Flynn, who sees you coming and says, Welcome to the Cranx.

Yeah, we've been here for a while.

Yeah.

Just a lot of energy to bring to a sleepy place.

Yes, our research is on sleep, then the mystical powers of rejuvenation.

God, lower your voice.

People are trying to take a nap.

Oh, that energy.

If you can sleep through this, you've mastered the sleepy art.

That's my boy, number one sleeper.

Impressive.

What is the connection of your interest in sleep to your connection to your deity, who I assume is bedrock?

Yes, it is the bedrock.

It is through sleep we hope to become closer to her and learn her secrets.

So, is this practice?

Just like your temple, is it a laboratory?

Or what is the importance of this structure?

We seek research into performing the art of sleep so that we can better commune with the bedrock.

Oh,

you see, we are masters of sleep.

Yes, they call me as I hail from the desert, Mr.

Sunman.

Yes.

And then here is my papa, who is so good at sleeping, he has transcended need for sleep.

That's right.

Heresy!

No, you seek knowledge.

He has mastered the art of sleep.

So he is always sleeping.

I like the complete 180 you did there.

Oh, by the way, give yourself an inspiration die for Mr.

Sangman.

I was very good.

Clever.

The goal would be to sleep as much as possible.

You know, like, uh, you guys believe in like rejuvenation and stuff like that.

You know, caused by sleep and stuff like that.

But you, no offense, look pretty old.

So, like, are you like really old, but you don't look that old because you've been sleeping a lot?

Or are you just trying to find the answer so that it could rejuvenate you?

I'm just being observant.

Doug is a master at nagging.

I can't see you.

I have no choice.

Yes, I have spent a long and fruitful life researching sleep.

However, my research has nothing to do with trying to bypass the great sleep.

The great sleep?

Is that like dying?

Yes, eternal slumber.

Well, not that we're necessarily looking for that right now, although I do love death.

Could we maybe you said you use sleep to commune with bedrock?

Does that mean you guys are actually able to like connect and communicate with this great god?

So far, our efforts have been unsuccessful, but we hope to perfect it soon.

Is bedrock like a person?

Is the bedrock in the room with us right now?

Or are they like, you know, someone mythical and, you know, unseen?

Ooh.

I like the idea of just going into someone's church and being like, is the god with us right now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, in this land, it seems like deities can walk amongst them, so I'm wondering if there's like physical.

No, that's the whole point of this campaign.

Yeah.

She's not here now, but we hope to be able to find her and learn from her wisdom.

Tell you what, as you've already heard from my compatriots, we're quite skilled at sleeping.

We got Mr.

Sandman here.

We got our scientist here who's very good at coming up with sleep concoctions and everything like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr.

Sleep.

Dr.

Sleep, yep, that's that's their name.

This tall drink of water right here, he can just turn off

like that, like a snap of the finger.

And I think if there might be a button that might cause that too.

We didn't know.

I don't know.

We're actually looking for it.

So, you know, we're so interested.

But you know what?

I heard something about, you know, as I was traveling around, I heard something about, you guys have, you guys have a friend upstairs at the top of the crackers?

Flynn would ponder for a second and then say, oh, the scapegoat?

He is no friend of ours.

Like I said, I'm an empty book ready to be written in about your religion.

What is the connection of the scapegoat and bedrock?

The scapegoat carries the evil doings of mortals, and we cast him out to cleanse ourselves for the bedrock.

What did you do?

That was evil.

I stayed up late.

Past my bedtime.

So, is it that bedrock wants you guys to be like clean and pure, and so you're trying to get to that for your God?

Yes, you understand perfectly.

Perfect.

Okay, I think I have a proposition to make for you, Flynn.

You spooky.

Listen, sometimes I make myself laugh.

Is Flynn also a frightened magician or something?

He's a goat.

You know, I hate to see a creature as beautiful as a goat suffer so much, but I understand you guys are trying to rid yourselves or bring yourselves closer to your God.

I can connect with that.

I'm always trying to chit-chat with my God as well.

Yeah.

Who said that?

I just said,

I wasn't looking at the screen and I was like, who said that?

Was that chris or blain

i was confused too you like didn't move your mouth there was like a bubble in my throat and i just didn't commit to like the joke i was gonna make so i just went yo

i tell you what i would love to take this weight off of the goat but i understand the goat is of importance to you so i got a little buddy here this little guy and i point to giggie he's just hungry for sin he he's just he's just ready to gobble it all up look at him what's giggy doing let's say giggy has uh is on the ground just chewing on his own leg.

Like when you have a dog and they're just like going to town chewing on their leg.

He's chewing on one leg, but the other leg is kicking.

So he's just going in circles while doing this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's kind of bored because the adult's been talking for a while.

Yeah.

And he didn't get to eat any of those lizards.

That's very true.

We should have saved one for him.

I know.

You got to give him snacks or he gets restless.

I know the feel.

I'm the same way.

Doug Wood and Bart.

So what if we were to.

I'm going to offer you two propositions for the price of one my little demon here would love to take the sins that you guys need so that we can let that that goat go because again I just hate to see a poor little creature like that just hanging out up there at the top of the cractice and then I bet you I guarantee you we could commune and get in touch with your bedrock.

I was that idea.

Does that sound pretty dreamy?

Yeah.

Come on deek a buddy old man.

Or should I say rip van wrinkle?

Oh

okay

listen I know what I said was pretty offensive but this is taking it one step step too far.

Nanny turns around and goes, you guys, understand, I'm trying to get something here, right?

You understand this is negotiations.

Why don't you make a persuasion check?

I was going to give you advantage, but I mean, there were some insults that started flying by me.

You know what?

I'm just glad you didn't go disadvantage, so I'll take it.

That's 19 plus persuasion is plus four, so 23, my Gustavo.

Nice.

So just so I make sure I understand, your proposition is that they put their sins onto Gigi Gigi and that Gigi takes the scapegoat's place?

Well, I was just thinking that Gigi could like top them up, like

could kind of like get them

at a zero again, and then Gigi could just kind of like give the goat a break.

And then to sweeten the deal, I don't know why I'm talking in like Natty's accent.

To sweeten the deal, we would also help them commune with Bedrock.

We bet and communicate that well.

But I think we should take the goat with us.

I think we should take Scapegoat with us.

That's important.

I'd like to save Scapegoat.

Yeah, because I love collecting NPCs.

Where's Captain Grumbles lately?

I haven't checked on that guy.

Captain.

Oh,

he's over there.

Captain Grumbles, go lay down.

Go lay down.

I think Flynn would, you know, kind of ponder it for a second.

Do you need to sleep on it, Flynn?

No.

Let it be done.

Oh, good.

I think Flynn would close his eyes, then outstretch his arms before him.

Yes, this is me.

He's mumbling to himself.

Why don't you have Giggy make a constitution check as he's sitting there chewing on his foot?

That's a plus zero on Giggy's constitution.

He rolled.

Oh, that's a nat 20.

After going into seemingly like a seance for a minute, Flynn opens his eyes and all four of you make a perception check.

I was kind of hoping that this would just turn into like confessional kind of thing where all these guys would just line up and just tell Giggy all the terrible things they've done.

Dirty 20.

12.

3.

My eyes are closed.

9.

What does Doug see?

I say Toll and Doug both noticed this.

Are you imagining it, or did Giggy just get bigger?

It looks like Giggy grew a foot.

A foot?

God.

Like a foot in height.

He's way bigger than he was before.

You know what's weird is that his own mom didn't realize that.

That kind of tracks.

Nanny, I think Giggy might have grown a little bit.

Gus, is he just increased in scale or has he matured a foot taller, like aging?

His voice is also a little deeper.

Oh, gosh.

No, he's taller than Gunther now.

He's like, teenage angst.

Well, Nanny would just be beaming with pride.

Look at my boy.

You see, that's it's already working, Flynn.

It's taking on all of the sins of the scapegoat.

Interesting.

Yeah, is there any more?

Does any other guys need to take a turn, or does that feel like that's good enough?

The sorceress are cleansed.

We can begin fresh and anew.

Okay.

So, is this like a permanent change on Giggy?

Or?

Yeah, so I'm curious.

Are we gonna have to get like new animation assets for Gigi?

I hope not.

Had you gonna have to make a new puppet?

We'll find out.

Okay, so does that mean maybe we could go up and let the scapegoat go?

Miss!

Make it so!

That was easy.

The day is saved, thanks to Dr.

Sleep, Sandman, Nap, Nap, Napsy Wonder,

and me, Mr.

Pillow.

My pillow.

Yes, now we shall all convene with Bedrock.

Yeah, I actually do want to see if we could maybe convene with Bedrock.

Okay, how do you want to do that?

Like, are you going to go take care of the scapegoat for like,

what's the plan here?

Put myself to sleep.

Okay, so, Gunther, you're going to put yourself to sleep?

Well, do we even need to convene with Bedrock if we save the goat?

Maybe we don't, yeah?

I'll tell you what, Natty, why don't you figure out what the team's doing and let me know?

Well, okay, I'll turn to the team.

Like, well, I think we have a mission accomplished.

Is there any sort of strategic benefit from us, like, trying to commune with their guide?

Well, we said we would.

Yeah, but he gave in.

Hey, good gopher now.

I think he is old and his memory's not very good.

Okay, why don't we let Gunther take a swing at it, see what we come out of it, and then we can skedaddle, go get us a goat, and keep heading to Fort Andridge.

Doug, what are you vibing with?

What are you thinking?

Oh, just I'm on a constant quest for more knowledge.

So personally, I would also like to maybe meet Bedrock.

Okay, we could split the party because obviously I'm not communing with Bedrock.

I mean, look at me.

I've never slept a day.

I am totally lying to these people.

I don't know a thing about sleep.

Yeah, we know that.

Yeah.

Wait, what?

Yeah, no, I just go into like a trance whenever you guys sleep.

I've just been watching you guys sleep all of this time.

You're just a really good actor, I guess.

I know.

Give me food.

Seeing as how I also don't necessarily need to sleep, I think this might be good if we watch over our compatriots as they attempt to commute, you know?

Okay.

A little bit of a watch system.

So, how are y'all going to try to accomplish this?

Maybe you lay upon the bed and Papa shall rock me to sleep.

I feel like the bedrocks might serve as

a holy place to sleep.

Yeah.

The little like beds that we saw when we walked in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If we just go lie down in this?

They're like a vessel.

Yeah, absolutely.

Hey, Duck, do you want to ask those gentlemen over there if they might have a little concoction that might help?

Well, I was going to go back over and say, okay, guys, I met Flynn, and now we can talk about things.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll be quick.

Okay.

Gunther, you start doing your nighttime ritual.

Gunther looks at Tov.

Oh, you're very close to my face.

Uh, hello.

Rock, goodbye.

Rock,

goodbye.

Uh-oh, yes, rock.

Goodbye, Gunther.

In my big arms.

All right, as that's going on, I will put him on a bed and save him from harms.

When the giggy screams, the gunther will sleep and go down in bed without making a peep.

I'm going to throw him in a rock and just get him out of my arms.

Really good.

I don't know.

Pretty good.

Really good.

Wow, we should make that into a real song.

Okay, just so I'm clear, now, Gunther is being put down to bed in one of the or put down to sleep in one of the beds.

And at the same time doug is going to go talk to the people who were working on the potions is that correct sure i i i'm more of a toss i i i don't i don't gently put him down i just kind of throw him on a rock but yeah and then tolv and naddy what are y'all doing i will accompany doug because i'm gonna be doug's sleep buddy okay gunther uses the toss to land on his head and while the toss now that he has sleep warmth lands on his head so he takes a hit and then activates his sleep thing

perfect And then Tov, where are you going or what are you doing?

Well, I don't want to split the party.

I guess I'll watch after Gunther.

I'll go get like a bowl of that sleeping liquid.

And then when Gunther's nice and tired and sleeping, that I will put one of his hands in it, you know.

Just so he has it nearby and he knows where it is.

Barf keeps yawning.

Barf keeps yawning.

TV.

Doug, you re-approach the sorcerers who are working on the various concoctions.

What do you want to do?

Hey guys, Doug again, he'll back.

I just spoke to Flynn over there.

Doug points over to Flynn.

Flynn sees you point and then waves and points back.

Now that we've established that connection over there, I was just curious.

What are you guys actually making?

What are you using to make it?

Give me the lowdown.

We are working on experimental sleep aids.

We have various salves, edibles, potions to further our research for better sleep.

And is it like for like a temporary sleep or like the eternal sleep that Flynn was referring to?

Oh, these are temporary sleeps.

And uh are all are the ingredients found here in the cragtus or do you guys t tend to have to venture out to find them?

It's a combination of both.

If we had a mattress sponsor, this would be a perfect time to mention Casper or Helix or one of those companies, but they gotta give us some money before I get into those.

Instead, just uh become a patron and you can fall asleep listening to our our bonus content.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

Sweet sounds.

But a lot of our research centers and focuses on the natural fountain found inside of here at Cragtus.

Oh, that's fountain.

Okay, is that like why it's all like blue and green and shimmery and stuff like that?

Yes.

The waters of the fountain shimmer blue and green.

How did you stumble upon this water?

Is it just natural to this habitat?

Yes.

That is why we have set up our research here to be close to the fountain.

Interesting, okay.

Doug is noting this all in his little notebook.

And uh, are the lizards that are kind of in here, are they like into that?

Or like, why are they went for our eyes?

And so I'm wondering, like, why that is?

They're super annoying.

They're obsessed with faces.

They can't get enough of trying to drink our eye liquid.

That's really strange.

It is, so we have no idea why that is.

They're just here.

Just a kind of a personality flaw of those lizards.

Okay, got it.

I don't know about flaw.

It's just a quirk.

Maybe if you use the lizards as like an ingredient for your sleepy potions, we tried milking the lizards.

They look at each other.

No, we'll get on that.

Well, uh, is there any of this that I can maybe like have?

You can have some if you try them here so we can observe using the scientific method and determine what works best.

Yeah, I mean, if you guys think it's safe.

We guarantee it is safe.

I do an inside check on that.

Yeah, same.

Natty's gonna roll an insight on that.

Do an inside check.

11.

30-20.

You don't think they're entirely confident about that, Doug.

That guarantees not 100%.

Could Natty peek out from behind Doug and and ask a question hi natty here i'm actually kind of curious flint over there said that your guys's like kind of ultimate goal is to through the power of sleep um commune with bedrock is that what you guys are participating in yes our research is to make for better sleep which allows for better possibility of communication with the bedrock okay well we got one of our buddies over there already kind of uh getting into the position to maybe help with that study and then duck here he's going to participate as well he's a sleepy little boy if you can see he keeps yawning the entire time we've been in this temple that's true

maybe if you guys have something that like you've gotten the closest like your most uh and promising concoction and doug here could give it to gunther

and we'll see how you know if we can't you know make some scrambled eggs yeah because i will say this guys i am kind of a scientist myself so if we give it to someone else i could help you observe the you know symptoms the reactions all that stuff too and maybe help you uh fine-tune your uh ingredients and and uh measurements and everything i'm a bit of a scientist myself that your sleep gets out of your vitamin quotes no well deferred quotes

well your friend over there took one of our potions already perhaps he could take the other three as well and we could observe what happens when someone takes all four at once i'm the leader of our group and i can volunteer gunther to take all three potions

all right so you uh are you gonna do you gonna go ahead and do that doug do you want to administer it i don't i i mean i don't know if i want to be held responsible for that

tolva

what are we saying about gunther you know i mean his mouth is open you know i could i could just siphon all of the liquids and fluids in there i mean he's he's an open receptacle why don't you give my buddy toll there the uh the three different potions?

Okay.

They hand over some stuff to you, Tollv.

It's not all potions.

They hand you a salve, a sachet of herbs like you tried to eat earlier, and an additional potion as well.

Okay.

I'll run over and I'll be like, drink up, Gunther.

And there's glun, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glu, glut, glun.

Then you got to rub the salve on him, and you got to slash him around a little bit, you know.

I like that you, to think you put it on, like, those football players where they have, like, the lines under the eyes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, yeah, you give them all to Gunther, who does not seem to be resisting.

And the, I don't know if I mentioned it, the sorcerers come along as well to observe and see what happens.

Yeah, as you can see here, I mean, he's taking great to it.

He loves fluids.

So, I mean, if anybody else has any other things, let's just throw it in, you know?

I mean,

it's gonna hurt.

Like, asleep, goes up.

I just picture, like, when Gum Gum insisted Kyborg shoot the the healing potion into his mouth with an arrow like

mouth open.

Okay, I'm going to cut to Gunther who's asleep.

We'll deal with this waking world in a moment.

We're going to deal with Gunther in his sleep now for a moment.

The Pink Floyd music video that is Gunther's dream.

Yeah, you see hammers walking in unison.

You're asleep, Gunther, and you're having a dream.

In the distance, you see a mountain range and it seems to be very quickly filling your vision it's like it's getting closer and closer and as it gets closer the mountains begin to look less like mountains and more like sideways z's until it zooms in and you're entirely on the side of one of these sideways z's you look around and it seems like there's loose soil and boulders everywhere and some of the soil under your feet begins to become disturbed and out from the soil pops a mole and it's looking at you Will you whack it?

Hello, Mole.

Are you Bedrock?

Yes,

and you must be Gunther.

Aw, my reputation precedes me.

Hmm, you've been working with the sorceress, haven't you?

Yes, I have.

Are you happy?

I guess.

What's wrong?

Oh, there is much work to do.

It never ends.

So tell me, Gunther, what brings you here?

What do you seek of the bedrock?

I want to know what's wrong with you.

What's up?

What's the deal with needing so much sleep?

Jerry,

what troubles you?

Well, I have many responsibilities.

And sometimes I seek to find others to share the load.

How do you share such a load?

It's a very difficult task.

It's deity stuff, Gunther.

If I were to share it with you, it would...

It would melt your

who is able to help you could it be uh another god like the bright one or the sea drinker who i'm very good friends with oh are you well that's very impressive little one I like how the mole is calling Gunther little one.

Yeah.

Also cut to the outside world.

Tolv is just standing on top of the bed with like a several gallons large barrel of fluids.

We're just gonna top him off here.

He takes takes to a great.

He's very small, but he holds a lot of fluids.

We just hear Gunther going, Mole, mole, mole.

Well, the problem is, the bright one understood me quite well, but the pale one does not understand me.

Gunther, can I tell you a secret?

Yes.

And the bedrock kind of looks around and like beckons for you to come lower so she can whisper to you.

Gunther lays on the f Z mountain.

You see, I don't know anything about sleep.

The pale one just knows that my name has bed in it and assumed I knew about sleep.

But I don't.

Luckily, I found someone to help a little bit.

The silent steed has been picking up slack on the sleep domain.

The pale one just assigns deities.

Yes.

Remind me again about the pale one.

It's been a while since we met.

Why is your guys' go-to to lie?

The pale one has taken over the mantle, as it were, as cosmic ruler and has seen fit to dole out responsibilities to the deities.

How's the bright one feel about this?

It's like gossip girls like

the bright one was murdered, so the pale one has taken over.

So the bright one really has no feelings about it.

Is there a way the bright one could come back?

Well, that's beyond me.

What about the silent steed?

I know that you have a friend who knows all about the silent steed.

Oh, I do.

I

met.

I want to metatalk, but only if you want to.

I think we gotta leave Gunther on this.

All right, all right.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say.

If you wish to learn about the silent steed, you could do so when you're alive.

And the mole kisses you on the forehead, and you begin zooming away from the mountaintop.

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While all that was happening, I guess you all are watching Gunther sleep, and he seems to be having a fitful sleep, thrashing about on this rock bed before you.

It seems like he's having quite a bit of dreams.

He's just tossing and turning non-stop in the bed.

Rock, bed, bed, rock, rock, bed, bed, rock.

Can I have been backing up a carriage filled with those herbs and leaves to like

just dump into Gunther's mouth?

Got like a big funnel that you've just put in there.

That's right.

Keep coming.

Keep coming back.

Oh, he needs this.

I think he might be waking up.

So you gave him four different types of sleeping potions and he only slept for three seconds.

As you all are watching him and as Tov is backing up the truck, Gunther suddenly sits up in bed and then gets up out of the bed and begins walking straight towards the aqueduct.

Is he sleepwalking?

It's an ambient.

It looks like he's still asleep, but he's walking straight for the aqueduct.

Tov would follow.

Let's follow him.

Yeah.

Don't don't wake sleeping sleepwalkers.

Yeah, that's that's the number one rule is you don't wake them.

Tov will have his arms out to like grab him if he were to do something like jump into the aqueduct or something.

It's not that he's jumping into the aqueduct.

He's walking straight into it.

He's like two steps away from walking right into the aqueduct.

Oh.

You gotta Mr.

Magoo him.

Visually, would the depth of the aqueduct be dangerous?

Normally, no, but he's asleep, so who knows?

Tov, maybe just like pick him up so like he'll still be walking, but he won't be moving.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll gently like lift him, but spin him so that he walks away from the aqueduct, you know?

Real like Bugs Bunny stuff here.

Yeah, yeah.

You pick him up and spin him, and as you pick him up, Gunther, you wake up and you see Tolls holding you.

Baba!

Oh, hello, little boy.

How was your nap?

Was the good, good nap.

I met a mole.

You fall asleep again immediately.

Oh, oh, oh, Andy's out.

Andy's out.

I have a feeling that's going to happen maybe a couple times over the next few days.

Is this affliction narcolepsy?

Well, just with the amount of stuff we gave him, that's, you know, designed for one portion for an entire sleeping session, and we gave him all of it.

As you're holding him, his legs begin moving again like he's walking.

Okay, I'll let him free.

I mean, maybe he knows something we don't and we should just like let him go and follow him.

That's a great, yeah, that's a great call.

I follow.

He begins walking back to the alchemical station where all the sleep aids were.

Guys, he wants more chemicals quickly.

Whip up a new batch.

Let's just watch.

He begins grabbing them and mixing them all together, generally making a mess of the station.

The sorceress begin rushing in, trying to get everything off of the table so that he doesn't create a mess and doesn't create problems for them.

No, no, no, let him cook.

Literally.

Gunther, you wake up again and you've got two flasks in your hands.

And then, I guess, tries to, you know, you put yourself back to sleep so I can just continue whatever it's doing.

Like,

I want to ride this sleep train.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, you wake up for a second and then you decide you were better off sleeping and go back to sleep.

He wakes up as you go, eggs and milk.

Goes back to bed.

You put down the flask that you were holding and he begins walking towards the side of the cractus.

And he walks up to the inner wall of the cractus where you all are and he puts his arms on it and he looks like he's pushing.

The other three of you in the party make dexterity saving throws.

18.

8.

7 and 11.

I had advantage.

Natty, you managed to stay on your feet, but Doug and Tov, you both fall to the ground as it feels like the entire cractus begins shaking and moving as Gunther is pushing on the wall.

Natty turns to Flynn and and goes, Is that normal?

No!

Let's see if Flynn manages to stay on his feet.

Someone helped the old man!

No, Flynn falls on the ground.

Help me!

I've fallen and I can't get up!

Good life, alert!

Natty helps him.

Natty helps him.

Okay, yeah.

Flynn gets back up to his feet.

I think your friend has moved the cractus.

Is that even possible?

No.

Is Gunther strong?

Like, what's happening?

Is the the whole cactus like moving along the ground?

Yeah, you know the sides were kind of like stained glass and what you see on the exterior now looks a little different than what you previously saw.

Oh, it's hard to see exactly because it's stained glass, but it does seem like the exterior is different and Gunther you now are awake

Gunther How did you do that?

I do what talk to them all oh well we'll get into that after but you moved the entire cactus.

Oh must be the bedrock.

We are good friends now.

I think Flynn would push his way to your front.

You met the bedrock?

Tell me about it.

Well, the bedrock is being

is very proud of you.

I knew it!

Yes, bedrock is very proud, but also needs help with the silent steed.

Are you aware of the silent steed?

Help with the silent steed.

Should we murder the silent steed?

No, it is not a scapegoat.

No more scapegoats.

But you said needs help with the silent steed.

If you really want to make Bedrock happy, you should also pray to Silent Steed.

Interesting.

This changes everything.

The eternal slumber and the temporary slumber are connected somehow, then.

You're right.

So I think that's what I was trying to say, Chris.

Silent Steed is Natty's partner, I think.

Well, I mean,

Natty's wife's death,

who is like a centaur kind of looking.

Right.

But is that, I mean, hey, Natty, is your

wife named the silent steed?

Yes.

Okay, there we go.

Okay.

So we've just turned this sleepy colt into a death cult.

I'm really trying not to meta everything that I heard the mole say, and I'm trying to go off of what Gunther said, but it is difficult.

So we must help people with the eternal sleep?

Understood.

Got it.

More just, uh, just, you know, it's not so much to help kill people.

That does not help them sleep.

No,

eternal sleep.

I think you should just keep sleeping.

You're doing a great job.

No more goats.

Okay.

So let it be said.

So let it be written.

So let it be done.

Hey, Talf, I think baby needs to get out of the pit.

I'm

let's think on Group Azzle real quick.

Yeah, I want to talk about this, but I don't want Flynn, who seems a little zealous, to hear the wrong short, and I think that that's why we should maybe have Gunther maybe steer them in a direction that's not going to cause them to do terrible things.

I think we might be at that inflection point with him just telling them, just keep on sleeping.

Do you feel like more repairs need to be done?

I don't know really how to patch up this ship.

It's pretty, it's sinking pretty quickly.

Doug, you have a read on this whole situation?

Well, I mean, I know nothing.

It was Gunther who experienced all of that, so uh can I convey what I saw to the party?

Sure, so that you get them on the same page.

Yeah, Gunther is essentially the frog messiah more like a prophet.

Yeah, there you go.

They're saying that the mole that you met is not actually the deity, but they think it is because she's got bed in the name.

Well, it is the deity, but they do not know anything about what they are doing.

Well, the pale one seems to be responsible.

That is so clear.

The pale one is the one that's divvying out all of these things, but it seems like they are just not good at their job.

They're filling in for the bright one.

The pale one has no idea what they're doing and then they're just saying like, you do this.

Hey, your name is Chuck.

You're the Chuck Wagon guy now.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I gotcha.

Great, great example.

They're taking Chuck Mangioni's the best way.

This is very hard.

So it's almost like they're like assigning people these roles, but don't really know what they're doing.

Well, maybe what would help is it sounds like I should have a little conversation with my honey.

I think that might be a good idea.

I think so too.

Do you want me to give you some potions and things?

I'll take good care of you so you can, you know, become one with them.

I watched your care of Gunther, and I think I'm going to pass on said care.

I'm just going to make this very clear.

I am not your mother.

That's my baby over there.

I'm good with just mothering the bringer of the apocalypse.

Napsi, wonder you're you're tearing this family apart, Wink.

Not the mama, knock the mama.

Everyone turns it looks at like a hulking, bigger giggy now, who's like slightly terrifying.

Wait, so he's like big, big?

Wait, are you saying he's grown even more, or are you just making a joke?

He is bigger.

He's a foot bigger than he was before.

He wasn't grown again.

Like a second time.

No, correct, correct.

Yeah, hulking brings a level of growth that I was just trying to make clear.

He wasn't like, you know,

okay.

So the pale one seems like they don't know what they're doing.

And then we also didn't i hear the in

furnace talking to the privateer correct yeah they're trying to find this is john recapping what the infurnace's goal is they were trying to find the sea drinker because the sea drinker knows how to find things pathfinder they were trying to find the pathfinder why were they trying to find the sea drinker no they had the sea drinker they had them captured they were trying to use the sea drinker to find out where the pathfinder was because the the pathfinder could get them out of the hell place that they're on Undar.

You know what?

I wonder if my wife knows where the Pathfinder is.

I've asked her that before.

I'm almost scared to know the answers to that because

if we know stuff and they know we know, we might get tortured.

So like if we find out where

if we find out where the Pathfinder is, that's some dangerous knowledge.

But, you know, I think it's probably important to our quest.

Especially if they know you know that they know.

Where did you know that they were?

Get back behind the cross.

Okay, sorry.

Sorry.

I'll go back up into the cloud.

Okay, this is a lot to take in, but we do have one more thing that I want to take care of before we leave here.

And that is

not make them death cold.

No, I just want that.

We got the goat.

Let's go take care of the scapegoat.

Oh, of course, yes.

I can fly.

How about I just fly up and talk to the goat real quick?

Sure.

Well, I assume you all exited from the inside the cactus to go outside to then retrieve the goat.

But correct me if that's not the correct.

Oh, but there is a way to get up to the top of the cractus from inside, right?

No.

Who built this place?

It's so like the, it's not even solid.

It moves when you push it.

Not accessible.

Okay.

I'll go get the goat.

Can I bring the goat down?

Okay, first of all, everyone roll me a perception check.

Yeah, because we moved.

Right.

14.

That's 1.

17.

So the 14 and 17, you go outside and you see, you know, when you go to examine the cactus for what you're about to do, you notice that the chair lift, the base station is gone and the chairs are on disarray on the side of crack.

Oh, because we moved the mountain.

Right.

Naddy, you fly up to the top, and it seems like the scapegoat is no longer up there.

He escaped.

I wanted them to reunite and make amends.

Okay, well, I come back down to the group and I share this bewildering mystery.

Okay, Naddy, did the goat get away, or did you kill the goat and you're just lying to us right now?

No sacrifice.

Out of our entire group, I've been nothing but straight with y'all.

No, goat wasn't up there.

I don't know where the goat went.

Maybe it fell off when

this boy over here moved the mountain.

So, Gunther killed the goat.

Oh, no.

Maybe.

Can we look for the goat?

As you all look around, all of you, regardless of your perception check, realize that you're in a totally different area than where you were before.

Like, locale all around?

Right.

All of you make wisdom checks.

Oh, gosh.

Okay.

Are we actually like.

I'm going to sleep right now?

Because this is really weird.

Four, twelve, ten.

All right, the twelve and the ten, you recognize where you are.

You are at somewhere you were before.

You're just outside the ruins of Raisine.

Huh?

Did we teleport?

Like, can we still see the mountain?

You see a huge scar in the land behind the cactus where it looks like the entire cactus was shoved along the ground back in the direction where you were.

God, wasn't that like a different hex altogether?

Yes.

You are now outside the ruins of Raisine, which on the bright side, you're closer to Fort Endridge.

What did you do, Gunther?

Okay, so let me get this straight.

Gunther, you pushed us into like a completely different land.

I did not know I was so strong.

It must be Pedroch the mole have dug a hole.

What did he do?

Dug a hole.

Mole.

Pedrok does not sleep.

He moves mountains and earth.

So she is in charge of mountains and earth and geography and things.

And not sleep there.

Yes.

Wow.

This place is totally messed up, man.

What does the area, like, where we see the ruins of Razine, do we see any type of like barrier or like illusionary type thing?

Like, what does it physically?

I don't know what you were going to ask, John, but.

I was going to ask the path that you're calling like a chasm.

Is it just like

as far as the eye can see?

And is it just like destruction?

Yeah, it seems like it goes off into the horizon.

And yeah, it's like a scar on the land.

Everything that was in the way has been leveled from our knowledge were there like towns and cities and things that were destroyed not as far as you know it was pretty empty and then to answer barbara's or barbar slash doug's question no it appears to be there's no barrier or anything you're outside the ruins of raisine there's not an illusion and if we look down like where that scar is if we're close enough to see is it like just a pit no it's not very deep it's like uh a very superficial also it got just drug into exactly so what did we do to like solar saud's Sad's local economy if we took away their like biggest tourist destination?

We've utterly ruined that place.

No one will want to travel there because there's nothing to visit.

Are the Mustangs okay?

Where's Private Parks?

Private Parks is wandering around.

It says...

On the bright side, it's a quick hop back to Fort Edridge beer.

Why do you think Bedrock wanted to move things?

Almost like they wanted to move things along.

Take an inspiration, die if you don't have one.

I'm going to make a guess and say that through your communion with them, they might have bestowed upon you a little bit of their juice.

Or we made you into a super soldier with all of the fluids in you.

Punch me.

Well, he not only did something that was physically impressive, but it was physically impossible.

He moved something from inside of it.

I mean, you know, sometimes a cat can get stuck in a box and then the box moves around, you know.

That's true.

This is a different scale, but I see what your meaning is.

Yeah, I'm just saying that it also happened in like a half second.

So that's something to keep in mind for future communions with these gods.

Okay, so I think we should probably.

There's something to be done here.

Clearly, Bedrock, she wanted us to be here for a reason.

Oh.

But like, at least that's my interpretation.

But, like, where is Flynn and the rest of the sleepy time cult?

Are they still around?

Just still inside inside of it they're still inside inside okay welcome to your new homes

yeah are we good are we good with them

they don't see they don't seem to be coming out or anything they're still doing their work we maybe like go back in the crackdest take another little napski and have another talk with bedrock i'm scared too or should we just maybe like go over to the ruins of raisine because i mean it's here and it it is I feel like everything happens for a reason.

Private parts.

I'm pressing start menu to see what our objectives are.

Private parts, parts, what's your read on the situation?

I mean, we probably just totally messed up like zoning and stuff like that.

So.

Well, he said we're closer to where we were heading, which was Fort Andrews.

This is just us on our way.

Yeah, I think private parts would probably say.

The will of the gods could be capricious and mysterious.

I can't fully understand what the bedrock may have been thinking.

But we should take advantage of this boon, which is presented to us and make our way back to report to Sergeant Steele Eye.

We got a few things to report.

Yeah.

Just a few.

Yeah.

Just a few.

Well,

I mean, Natty,

you're called.

You're the leader.

Apparently, someone puts you in charge.

Phone ranks.

Yeah, that's what I figured would happen.

That's what I figured would happen.

Doug gets right behind Natty and balloons.

That's you.

There you go.

You know, yeah, I like that.

I want to report in.

I feel like if we wander around anymore, we're going to have way too much stuff to report in.

Yeah, yeah.

Private parts scribbles at your order down, Natty.

Hey, Gus.

Is that a long list?

Yes, we'll say that was alarms for Gunther because of all of that.

Actually, speaking of long rests, you know, everyone forms up behind you, Naddy, and you hear something behind you, Natty.

Sounds like sawing of lumber.

Oh, oh, no more sleep.

I turn around and I look at that.

Lumbo oh shumbo.

Turn around and you see Gunther standing behind you, saluting, but with his head drooped.

He's fully asleep and snoring.

Okay.

Gunther, you see in your mind a youthful humanoid flower.

It burns with flaming petals.

You know it as the wilder flower.

She's visibly upset, burrowing her brow at you, Gunther.

Oh, isn't the wilder flower like your?

That's his god.

I'm sorry, what have I done?

Your faithfulness is wavering, Gunther.

I have seen you talking with the other deities.

You must prove your fealty or suffer the consequences.

What can I do for you?

We'll find out in the next episode of Chaos from the Stinky Dragon.

It didn't mean anything, I promise.

We were just friends, I swear.

Gunther,

you've been a bad boy.

Thanks for listening, everybody.

We had an eventful episode.

A lot going on.

Gunther, really literally pushing the story along.

But yeah, thanks for listening.

We'll be back with the next episode in two weeks.

And if you're a patron, next week you can listen to an episode of Second One where we dig into this, talk about this episode, and things related to it.

Check out store.stinkydragonpod.com where we're going to be selling stinky sleep potions.

That's right.

John will be brewing them in his home.

You can experience experience the same wonderful sleep that Gunther had in this episode.

I'm going to have to put another thing in the store that's sold out, aren't I?

No, we're really selling it.

As we were recording, I saw Ben submit the merch idea for the Sleepy Dragon nightcap.

Flummit.

Wow, what an amazing episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I, John Reis here, am a huge fan of this show and love the shenanigans those guys get up into.

Do you know what I also love?

Halloween-themed apparel, and you can get that now at store.stinkydragonpod.com.

Do you guys remember those little jokes about those t-shirts when they were at the Peace Day parade?

And it was like the T-Nix and they were like these little shirts.

We made those shirts.

The grotesque shirts, we made them.

They're up on the store right now.

So go get them, okay?

And just because we love the Halloween time so much, we also gave you some more stuff.

We gave you content.

The Grotesque Second Wind episodes we were missing because Second Wind wasn't a thing until like, I don't know, three months into the Grotesque campaign.

Well, we went back and we recorded those second winds and we released them for everybody on our Patreon.

So you can go listen to that stuff right now.

And you can get yourself a cool little Halloween shirt and have a wonderful, spooky month.

Hey, new episodes of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.

It premieres every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.

But if you want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free, that's two days early without commercials, you can support us by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com.

Or you could join as a member on beacon.tv.

Both give you early, ad-free access and a members-only Discord for each platform.

But if you're looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon specifically offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show.

Just like, hey, Jay Davenport, I see you.

I'm shouting you out.

Ugni4617, you too, Celia Thomas, Morrigan447, RedWeb, thank you for being patrons.

These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Win and Behind the Screen, or Stinky Pop, I'm kind of partial to that one, and other stinky perks.

Once again, that's stinkydragonpod.com.

We are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible.

Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them, like Flynn, named after Brayden Howell, and voiced by Matt Bragg at Matt Bragg.

And Private Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben.

The Bedrock was voiced by Kristen Bates at KristenK Bates.

And don't forget to support your local PBS stations.

The Wilderflower, voiced by BK at Black Crystal.

And Piotr, named after Bart Piotriolovs.

I nailed that.

I'm sure I did.

I'm sorry if I didn't.

This week's era question was submitted by Amon Reddy.

This episode of Tales and Steeky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold and Davis Sonye.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales, Tales, Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Alright, peeps.

Doug back on the ones and twos equals threes.

It's the late night version of this one, as we're very seepy on this episode.

So this is coming to you with a late night Doug Boone on the ones and twos.

This week, we are sleeping.

After this episode recording, Barbara will be sleeping.

Yes, let's keep in mind it is only two o'clock in the afternoon.

Perfect time for a nap time

if I do say myself.

Wow, let's try that one more time.

If I do say so myself.

Doug's so sleepy that he can't even form sentences correctly.

Yeah, Doug is also working on having a radio show for himself.

You know, having all his listeners, all his many many fans out there in the world call in and ask dog a question see if he could give his sage advice all his all his life life experience helping those in need

so be on the lookout for dog on the ones and twos equals threes as a real show all right good night good evening and good good seeking

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