#447: Phuc Boyz

Like fucking burgle burgle.

You look like the goddamn hamburger.

I think I have small holes.

Ask Ming when he was called dwarf all through school if he thought it was cool.

Really?

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

And thank God we're all together.

Yes.

Once again.

Masked up.

Can still hear you pretty well, Q.

I think so, yeah.

I don't think

really does much.

The mask, right?

No, not at all.

I feel like a superhero.

I like wearing the mask.

Because, you know, when Peter Parker put on the Spider-Man mask, it totally changed his voice.

Right, of course.

And it didn't change your voice.

You don't sound like more

manly.

You just sound exactly the same.

No.

Not that you weren't manly your normal voice.

No, no, I know what you mean.

It's just like one more thing I don't have in common with Spider-Man.

But yeah,

it's funny because I wear the mask pretty much anytime I'm out of my house.

And I have noticed that I'm usually like it's getting to the point where I'm usually the only one.

Most people have moved past wearing masks I find.

Do you wear it in the car?

You one of them?

If I'm by myself, no.

No, not at all.

But I got gas driving down here and I put it on to open up the window and deal with the guy.

But on one hand, I'm like,

well, I think he would like that.

Because he's not wearing a mask, but then I'm like, well, he's the type of fucking guy that works a pump in a gas station.

And I'd be like, hey.

it doesn't even give a shit.

Premium.

Yeah.

I'm like, he doesn't care that all these people are breathing in his face, so

I just wear it.

Yeah.

I'm scared.

I'm just a scared man.

I'm frightened.

Frightened.

I don't care.

You scared what?

I'm concerned.

I'm still concerned.

I mean, it doesn't look like anytime soon this is going to be cured or there's going to be a vaccine.

I mean, it just looks like it's still a ways off if it ever even comes, a vaccine.

So it's,

I just think it's inevitable, though.

I hate to say it, but I just think it's inevitable.

I'm going to catch it.

And there's nothing I can do.

I almost wish I could catch it sooner while I'm instead of like two years down the road or something.

When we're feeble?

Yeah, because right now I don't want to, like, every time, the longer it goes without me getting it,

the more older I get.

So I'm like, fuck, man.

Maybe I just should have.

hoped to get it early.

Went to a COVID party with the kids.

But can't you re-get it again?

I've heard you can reget it too now.

So it's like, I mean,

this is a super germ, man.

This is a fucking,

what's it called?

Alpha germ.

Yeah, it takes no prisoners.

This guy.

Did you go out for 4th of July or anything, or did you stay at home?

No, I was with you.

People were out there with the, oh, yeah, that's right.

That's right.

I forgot.

But that night when I got home, though, like, was it the same in your neighborhood where...

It appeared to be like

the epicenter of the fireworks, like the township fireworks.

There were so many people in my neighborhood lighting fireworks.

And I'm not talking about little bottle rockets or firecrackers.

I'm talking about shit that you would see the township put on, like expensive fireworks.

Yeah, there's all sorts of conspiracy theories about the

mass amount of fireworks across the country that

has really started since the lockdowns.

But especially since the protests.

The rumors of

that there were communications between the police,

that it's like contacting aliens.

I mean, I've heard some crazy shit, but like, there's no doubt about it, man.

There has been an uptick in fireworks.

Yeah, but it was also around the 4th of July, though.

I mean, there's always, right?

Yeah, I saw them about a week, week and a half prior to 4th of July, then 4th of July, and then nothing.

Nothing, man.

Literally nothing since 4th of July.

No, I hear fireworks almost every night.

You know, my dogs just like, you know, I suffer through it.

It's just like, I want to just like throttle the fucking idiots who just keep fucking lighting fireworks off night after night.

I looked out my window because the same with my cats and Sage, she doesn't like them.

That's why we never go to the fireworks.

And I'm like, I cannot call the cops on all these people.

It's just not possible.

It's not illegal.

I mean, I see those fireworks stores that we have, but I think they're for like sparklers and that kind of shit.

I mean, it appeared to be legal.

There was a guy right on Main Street.

You know how busy that road is.

He had them like right in the gutter on Main Street, and people people are driving through all this smoke and shit.

It's like, I'm like, why are you not doing it on the side street?

You just go around the corner, but you don't give a shit.

No.

Well, I was talking to, I was texting with Troy and Q, and you guys were,

it brought you back.

I made you nostalgic.

I was like, I was like, I was like, man, when I was a kid growing up on Staten Island, like, we

I tell the story and it happened every year.

And I'm not kidding, like, you couldn't even see the street.

It was rappers, like, the red wrappers and the spent tubes and shit.

It was ankle high on the street.

It was like everybody, everybody had them.

My uncle was a cop,

and he would go to, he would confiscate them from people because they're not legal, but then he would throw them in his trunk and just bring them over to the house and we would set him off.

So it was like we had tons of fireworks.

I loved it.

And then it went away.

Giuliani really cracked down.

I remember the first year it stopped.

You were like, oh man, this fucking sucks.

Fuck Giuliani.

Then as you get older, you're like, that's pretty nice to quiet.

I like it.

But when it happened on the 4th of July, I was like, this is awesome, man.

It was everywhere.

Everywhere.

It was like the 80s again.

I loved it.

You don't think it's going to happen to you when you're younger?

You're like, I'm never going to be so fucking such a fuddy-duddy that I'm going to be like,

fireworks.

But then you get a couple dogs, you get a couple cats.

I was never really a fireworks guy.

I've always been leery of the dangers of fireworks and never was a guy who was into fireworks or wanted to light off fireworks.

It just felt like, you know, I like having 10 fingers.

I'm not going to take a chance on

two seconds.

And plus, I'm

like, what

person

gets off just by hearing a loud noise?

I don't understand it.

No.

I guess kids, it's just the act of doing something.

I understand the visuals of fireworks.

Right.

But most of the time, the sounds, like most of these fireworks are sound only.

And I don't get just hearing a loud explosion.

And then a boom.

I don't understand it.

I identify with that.

We'd fire them at each other.

It was fun.

Yeah, I remember.

I mean, I still see videos of people like they want to shoot bottle rockets out of their ass.

Everybody thinks they're fucking Johnny Knoxville, and they end up getting severe burns because it doesn't launch.

Or they shoot Roman candles at each other and it'll stick in somebody's collar.

And it's like these are like hot balls of magnesium, I believe.

Get them.

Is that what a Roman candle is?

Is it just like magnesium burning?

Well, the colours depend on the burns, but it's usually like there's a magnesium or some other

oxidizer.

Some oxidizer, get them so.

Anyway, it burns really hot and

seems to fuck people up.

We point them at each other and just blast them.

Stupid shit.

Everybody got hurt.

It is amazing, though, like you made it through childhood without getting severely injured.

Some of the shit that, like, you think back to...

It would be horrifying.

to see children today doing the shit that we did as kids.

You'd be like, who in the fucking world is allowing this cat?

Yes.

Or if it was like my kid, I'd be like,

how could I raise such a stupid fucking idiot?

And it may be just because of everything else that's going on in the world, but I didn't hear any stories of horrific injuries this Fourth of July because usually you hear some horror stories every year of some fool doing something crazy or, you know, like a professional football player a couple years ago blew his hand basically off and, you know, cost himself millions and millions and millions of dollars in a contract.

Although I think he actually

kind of did get a lot of money, though, like Like, he was never the same player again, but like, you know, scalps being blown off, burns.

But this year, I didn't hear a lot about it.

This year, I saw a guy get in trouble for shooting fireworks into a house and it burned down.

I saw that.

Yeah, he didn't even realize

it was on fire, right?

He didn't realize the firework went into the house.

Yeah, it was crazy.

His own house?

No, it was somebody else's house, I believe.

Oof, and then he's going to charge with arson.

It's funny because, like, the rumors going around

Staten Island were like, they're going to fire fireworks at the house tonight.

Like, people are going to break windows and then throw

a lit Roman candle into houses.

It's going to be chaos, anarchy.

Then it wasn't.

No.

Not at all.

Not at all.

I read somewhere that the fireworks are racist.

Fireworks are racist.

If you can believe it.

I can.

They were saying that, okay, why are fireworks?

Conspiracy theories are getting new attention or why they're popular right now.

I didn't see this article until right now, so I'm not going to read through the whole thing.

But what I did read was that somebody was saying that they're being used to unsettle inner city neighborhoods.

And even though it would be the inner city residents setting them off, they're not aware of what they're doing.

And it's putting the, it's some kind of like government project to unsettle.

Oh, it's like when they flooded the ghettos with crack back in the 80s.

Now they've flooded no more fireworks.

I don't know what fireworks yet.

Are they not unsettled enough as it is?

They need to be able to get it.

How much more unsettled can you get?

Destroyed.

Like, they were in my neighborhood.

Were they trying to unsettle me?

Perhaps.

Didn't work.

Didn't work?

Wow.

I loved it.

Fireworks have been so ubiquitous as to justify why cities need enormous.

Okay, so some people are saying that the fireworks were so that they could justify police and not defunding them or whatever.

Here it is.

This is one I saw.

A form of psychological warfare used by police to keep residents sleep deprived and on edge and therefore unable to effectively organize or protest.

So I guess they go like your uncle would instead of giving you the fireworks, you would bring them to the inner city so that they couldn't fall asleep.

Like, isn't it enough?

It sounds like a stretch.

There is enough bullshit without coming up with these fucking whacked out theories about why shit is going on.

Yeah.

But you know what's funny is like that person, that person's out there.

That came up with that theory.

They're out there right now.

Oh, yeah, they believe it and they're online saying it and somebody else is believing it.

Everyone who listens to this isn't going to be like, you know what?

Fuck you, Johnson.

There is something to it.

Yeah.

It's good to stay off the internet.

Yeah.

Do you don't look forward to a Fourth of July?

Well, we had a good one.

Yeah, yeah, but I mean, the old-fashioned Fourth of July that you guys are talking about, or that I would take my kids to the harbor and watch fireworks,

those days are gone.

Yeah.

I mean, well,

also because no municipalities are doing fireworks this year because of COVID, but they just grew out of it.

They aged out of fireworks.

You need a grandkid or two, man.

Yeah, but I mean, also don't want that yet.

Are there any neighborhood kids you could offer to watch?

Well, I think out of the blue, I'll just go.

Yeah, just like knock on the door.

Like, I noticed you have a child.

But you don't even like fireworks.

But I mean, I like fireworks in the sky.

I like the ones that, like, the the pretty ones.

I like the colors and everything, but I'm not a big fan of fireworks that are like those fucking M80s that

make car alarms go off, and my dogs

quiver and shake.

I'm not a fan of those, but I do like the colorful ones.

There were some so loud that I'm like, that's not an M80.

That's like one of those quarter sticks of dynamite or something.

Boom!

It sounds like

a real explosion.

I don't get that either, because I hate loud noise.

So it's like if I'm right next to it, lighting it off.

And there was a guy who I know,

I mean, I won't say his name, but he asked me, it was the day before 4th of July, and he was like,

you're going to be setting up fireworks this Saturday?

And I looked at him, I was like, no.

He goes, why, you need some?

And I was like, no.

I go, don't you know we're trying to unsettle black people?

And I was like, no, I don't do fireworks.

And he goes, and he looked at me, oh, I didn't know you had a pussy.

So he said it as well.

I was like, and he was just like, I can get you fireworks.

And I was like, no, it's not that I don't have access to them.

I said, I just, like, I'm not into like taking a chance on bodily harm for us for an explosion.

And yeah, at this point, who would you be doing them for?

Like, girls, girls, they're like,

I did for my niece last year.

I bought sparklers.

And that's about as dangerous as I get right now, an old-fashioned sparkler.

Still good with that.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're still, they still can bring out the uh the the bright eyes and the little kid like holding that little stick and that smell yeah brings you right back to the 70s you draw letters in the air and stuff like that with them yeah

nothing wrong just the simple things yeah good old-fashioned americana what are the uh well now that they're older what are the holidays that you look forward to not halloween i can't imagine no i mean i i guess it's still like the big two thanksgiving and christmas

but even then thanksgiving can can devolve into like, I don't want to eat that.

Well, oh, we're not going to make that.

Well, I don't like that.

And, like, well,

this is all you talking, right?

Yeah, like, it's all like, we're going to make lasagna.

And I'm like, well, I don't eat that.

And you're like, okay, we're going to do this.

But you know, I don't eat that.

And then you're like, well, you can buy a pizza the night before, and then you just heat it up then.

And I'm like, all right, that sounds good.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

So there's no turkey involved then.

They say there'll be turkey.

And then at the last minute, they're like, the threats of like, there's no turkey this year.

No turkey.

And then, like, everybody's okay with it.

At the last second, you're like, we we got to have turkey.

It's like, what are you crazy?

Like, of course, we're going to have turkey.

Like, we're not animals.

I have a question because I haven't seen you two guys in a couple of weeks, a few weeks now, really, months almost.

Have the both of you lost weight?

Because both of you look thinner than when I last saw you.

Not that you guys were both of COVID.

Yeah.

Oh, the both of you have COVID?

Oh, great.

That's why we're trying to get you to take that mask off so you can thin down like that.

No, it's both of you like looking slim and trim.

Oh, I know.

Brian definitely is constantly losing weight.

Yeah.

I don't think I have.

I said that recently, though.

I was like, you look thinner.

I don't know.

I mean, I'm definitely not trying to.

I'm still a little bit more.

Dude, maybe it's a black t-shirt or whatever.

Yeah, they think it's black, right?

If you wear black, you look thinner.

Sliming.

Is that a true thing or is that a suburban myth?

No, it's true.

But it's got to be a trick of the mind, though.

It can't actually be thinner.

It's almost like an optical illusion because when you wear bright colors, you could see the outline of a person.

But when you're wearing black, you can't see the creases and folds, and you kind of blend into the background, so you don't see.

Did you know that?

Yeah.

Wow, I never knew that before.

It's like camouflage.

Before I'm fatty.

I look like a goddamn ninja after time.

I never knew, though, that that was a real thing.

And the way you just described it makes total sense.

Yeah, black is slimming.

It's like camouflage.

Same with like pinstripe, like vertical versus horizontal.

Horizontal is going to give you that broad look.

Right.

Who's wearing either or?

Pinstripes or vertical stripes?

Oh, man.

Pinstripes are awesome, dude.

When's the last time you wore pinstripes or you wore pinstripes?

I have a pinstripe suit.

What, a Yankees uniform?

No, it's not like, it's not like that.

It's not like a Chicago mobster fucking pinstripe, but it's like, you know, delicate

little pinstripes on it.

And you wear it often.

I don't wear suits often, but when I have caused to wear a suit, yeah.

But you won't wear the vertical, though.

I mean, the horizontal.

I don't think I've ever seen a suit with horizontal unless a clown was wearing it.

A lot of times it seems they're just shirts, like a lot of shirts or vertical stripes.

So I guess the vertical stripe industry

needs to fuck and find a way to kind of shed that.

No, the vertical is good.

It's the horizontal that's bad, yeah.

Oh, the horizontal people.

The horizontal?

Okay, yeah, okay.

That's the horizon.

Right.

When I first started seeing Mary Beth, she had a black and white

horizontally striped shirt.

And I was like, fucking burgle, burgle.

You look like the goddamn hamburger.

Why would you wear a shirt that looks like that?

I love you.

Got rid of it.

Never saw it again.

Did you even know she got rid of it?

But you just, it was retired immediately.

I think it was immediately retired and never to be seen again.

It displeased me.

It's probably a favorite shirt.

She was like, I like that shirt.

I was like, it just, I don't know.

You look like the hamburger to me.

Does she even know what you're talking about?

I don't know.

I don't think she was.

I mean, the hamburger's been retired for decades.

Yeah, I don't think she she's familiar with the McDonald's land characters.

You're like, she was Google, and she's like, what the hamburger?

What is that?

Some sort of like heavy metal act?

I'm like, McDonald's, like anyone who got you the happy meal on our first date.

You look like a fucking fry guy.

I miss the fry guys.

When was the last time they were used in anything?

The 90s, maybe.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

The fry guys, they look like puppets.

They were like...

Jump around.

Yeah.

No, I don't remember that.

Was that McDonald's?

Yeah.

Was it like Fraggle Rock looking?

Yeah.

I think I do remember.

Yeah, there they are.

Oh, yeah.

I remember them.

Yeah, they look like little pom-poms, right?

Yep.

So you had them, you had fucking Grimace, you had Grimace stuck around, right?

Who was that bird?

Didn't they have a bird?

They did.

What was her name?

She had the goggles on her head, the aviation goggles.

McDonald's.

I'll just write.

Remember Mac Tonight?

That fucking flop.

Mac Tonight?

Yeah, you remember him?

He was a giant half-moon playing the piano?

I don't remember him.

Oh, Mac Tonight, baby.

Look at him.

He looks like something from your nightmares.

Really?

It's when they went 24 hours.

Birdie the Early Bird.

That was it, Birdie the Early Bird.

The Fry Kids, I don't remember them.

That's some bullshit.

1970.

They had the fucking Mac Daddy.

Excuse the fucking

irony of that, but like you had fucking Ronald McDonald.

Nicely done.

I just caught that.

You had Ronald McDonald, and you fucking retired him because people were like, oh, he's a perverted clown.

You let the public paint your mascot as a perverted clown, and you just want to.

Is that why?

I thought it was because it was like enticing kids to eat unhealthy.

No, I think there was like that urban myth that

he was a

pedophile clown.

Really?

Oh, I always heard like they were like, you can't sell to kids.

That's what you're doing with Ronald McDonald.

No, you heard about that, right?

Yeah, I heard about it.

Perverted clown and everything.

Yeah.

It's just, it's so uncommon for a corporation to buckle the public pressure, too.

I mean, it's like they usually stand their ground.

Yeah.

This was in the era before the internet, and they still buckled like

a pussy like that.

I saw, did you hear, like, there was a, there was, people were saying

that this

I thought they were joking.

It turns out they weren't.

Like the statues of Walt Disney and Disney World have to come down.

Did you hear that?

Get the fuck out of here.

I heard somebody said that to me.

It's got to be a joke.

People are just anti-statue.

It doesn't even mean, it doesn't even matter who it is, right?

But they were like, he was

racist.

Walt Disney was racist or something like that.

Well, he did some racist tropes in his film, so I mean, there may be some validity to it.

Well, he was also a notorious anti-Semite.

I heard that's not true, though, is it?

Really?

I heard that was like a joke.

Oh, really?

Let me see.

Hold on.

As we're talking.

Well, I mean,

will anybody really

be affected if they don't get to see that statue, though, going in there?

If Disney pulls down the statue of Walt Disney,

we, I mean, wow, talk about a fucking company buckling.

They have to change the name of that company.

Yeah.

Oh, wait, the proven false,

it would appear.

Yeah, I heard that it wasn't true, that that was just like a rumor.

I'm glad you corrected me.

I wouldn't want to contribute.

It's been years since you've watched a Disney film, I know, out of solidarity, but yeah, I heard it's not true.

I think that kids today don't even know why it's even called Walt Disney.

They have no idea who Walt Disney is.

Probably.

I think just statues of characters would be the way to go.

Like Mickey, Goofy, Pluto, Minnie, you know,

the big six.

Seven dwarves.

Can you say dwarves anymore?

Yeah, then we're getting into

the water.

Oh, I don't know.

Six little people?

Or the seven little people?

Dwarfism

is a term.

Like, it's a disease, isn't it?

Or something?

Some kind of malady.

Dwarf is cool, too.

If I would want to be called a dwarf, I get midget.

I'd be like, I don't want to be called a midget.

Asked Ming when he was called dwarf all through school if he thought it was cool.

Really?

I mean, he wasn't a dwarf.

Like, if you're a dwarf and someone's like, oh, hey, what's up, dwarf?

No, you can't do that.

Yeah.

Tanjong, you stick with the safe ones and the princesses.

Okay.

You know, with all the princesses, all the different female princesses.

No dudes.

No dudes.

No Manhatter.

No, no, no, no.

Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse.

Maybe even not Mickey Mouse because he's male.

But he has a very effeminate voice, so he could maybe slide.

You might think he's trans.

If there was no Minnie, then you can make the argument that he wasn't male.

He was like a transgender mouse or a whatsoever, asexual mouse.

Whatever fits the narrative, that's what he is

that's the thing like Disney's not going to try and walk that

I can't see Disney being like we're taking taking the statue down I think they could very well take the statue if it was if it got enough traction if enough people were like take it down

and come down that's something

too much money at stake shareholders are like fuck this guy's been dead for how long fuck Wolf Fuck him but this but then so it's still called Disney World and Disneyland but people are like

we're gonna we're gonna cancel Walt Disney now the guy who created

a lot of it.

Well, unless you take the statues down, then it's okay.

If you just take the statues down, then it's okay.

These fucking people are idiots.

I'm sorry.

They're just so fucking stupid.

It's as if this shit ceases to exist because now a fucking statue of the guy on his own property

has to come down.

I did not hear this, though.

You're serious.

This is a real.

I heard this.

I looked it up and I said, no, I don't think it's gaining a lot of traction, but I know that it was mentioned on the show.

I wonder how Ladondo falls on that because he is the biggest Disney backer I know.

You want me to see it?

Text him, real quick.

Yeah, see what he says.

But yeah, I know that guy visits Disney multiple times during the year.

I don't know if I guess the difference between having a statue in the middle of a town square is that's a public space.

You can't

put that up there, I guess, and avoid it.

But with Disney, you're paying to get into Disney.

So

you can't really, I guess, say, hey, man.

Justin Timberlake says all Confederate monuments must come down for the U.S.

to move forwards.

JT.

I mean, if we're not going to listen to him, who would fuck with him?

He's got an opinion on it.

I was talking to some cousins of mine, and they were all fucking riled up about the statues coming down.

The one in the south?

Yeah, well, any statue.

It was, you know, Columbus, like what we talked about that one time.

And I was like, I was like, can I ask you something seriously?

I was like, why do you give a shit?

I was like, Why do you care whether the statue's up or down?

Why are you this angry about it?

Is there a good answer?

Not really.

You know, just something about how everything's going too far and stuff like that, which is a valid point of view.

But the anger over the statues, I was like, I've never seen you.

I was like, I've never seen you this upset about anything.

You care about these fucking stupid statues.

I get having that point of view, like you say, if it's part of something bigger, it's like it's not about the statues, it's about what they represent, you know, and blah, blah, blah, blah.

I mean, you could have sort of a, you could have an argument to not maybe keep them up, but at least don't dump them into lakes and drains and all this other shit.

And it's like anybody you don't like now, like the one fucking Sean King guy is like, we're going to cancel Jesus because people don't like the

white Jesus.

And it's like, look, technically, he's probably right.

I mean, if the guy comes from the Middle East, he's not going to look like me.

Not that I'm as handsome as Jesus, but

you get what I mean, white guy.

But you can't say that to religious people.

They do not want to hear that.

You'll never cancel Jesus.

No, no, no.

You can cancel that guy.

They tried.

They nailed him to a cross.

Yeah.

And if he could make it through that,

he's going to make it through this.

Publishing King bullshit, whatever his name is.

Do you want to hear what Chris said?

Yes, please.

Chris said that he had no idea this was a thing,

but he does not support

taking down Walt Disney statues in Walt Disney World.

So, if he wasn't an anti-Semite, which is the only reason because of the racist cartoons and stuff?

Well, the Q has that's why, right?

Because there's a lot of racists.

Yeah, they see some of the history of the company.

He's done some things that, you know, well, I mean, he made Song of the South.

There was all sorts of things in those early Steamboat Willie cartoons.

Steamboat Willie was racist?

Well, there would be shots of like natives and stuff on the side.

Oh, guys, just going down the river.

So, stuff that definitely wouldn't ever, ever fly.

Oh, he's saying it doesn't exist because he asked me what this was all about, and I said, Q said that there's a movement to remove statues.

He's a liar.

They are rebranding some rides, Chris writes, but

he doesn't see any talk of Disney removing Walt Disney statues.

Yeah, I know they're rebranding that ride, which is like Splash Mountains getting a new name, he said, in a new storyline.

It's Princess and the Frog now.

Yeah.

What was that from?

I don't remember that.

It's a movie for Princess and the Frog.

Is it a rather new movie?

At least 15 years, I'd say.

Yeah.

But it's one of the it's definitely been post the Disney boom where they had like Aladdin and it's after all that stuff.

But I only saw it the once in the in theaters.

This

all plays very much into what I was going to

mention next, and that is, do you guys like boners?

I love them.

Depends on, you know.

If it's yours or somebody else's.

It really is.

It's all about context.

Right.

Context is lost today.

So we need to be very specific.

And when we were a young man, we were always ready to go because we weren't fucking knocking statues down and shit.

We were always ready to cork.

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That's a big thing, full stomach.

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That's the

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Intentionally, if I know

some action may be coming,

you could

not get a fucking full stomach.

Oh, you fast for a little while.

Oh, yeah.

The last thing I want to do is like, is, you know, like, go to Friendly's and get a fucking chocolate,

a cup of chocolate ice cream because I, because then I'm out of commission, maybe.

Plus, it's a very long ride to Friendly's these days.

Yeah, I do.

I definitely like have the foresight.

I'm like, yeah, let's go with something real safe.

Bread.

I'll just be having bread tonight, waiter.

And I'll look at him all

wake at him.

You know what I mean.

See, I'm the opposite if I don't.

No butter.

No shit.

Enough said.

Let's be safe.

Take the sesame seeds all patch before you bring it out.

I don't want to be high while I'm.

Yeah, I'm different.

I eat like Henry VIII.

I like, give me a whole turkey.

What about Trick Defendaman?

Oh, that?

Triple Fin?

I mean, if that, yeah.

Yeah, what if it puts you to sleep having all that turkey?

No, I'm on Adderall, man.

It combats it.

Oh, yeah, so you can eat as much.

It offsets all the turkeys.

Dude, I could eat like three turkeys and I'd start ready to go.

Giblets all of it.

It's like that one, like when you take it.

What's that one drug that they, that people like had, like, um, EM EMTs have?

Like, if there's an overdose?

Oh, like Narcan?

You're eating so much turkey.

You offset it with all your, uh, drug you're taking?

Oh, Adderall?

Adderall.

That would be funny.

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Yeah, so we must be connecting with the audience.

No more awkwardness.

That's one of their things.

It's not going to be like, hey, Walt, I can't get boners, so I used your fucking service.

It's back in the closet.

Nobody's going to talk about this anymore.

Exactly where it belongs.

What if a girl took it?

I don't know.

Nothing would do anything.

Get them.

What happens if a girl takes Blue Chew?

I think it's supposed to affect their erectile tissues as well.

Oh, yeah?

Their clit stays.

Erectile tissue?

Yes, the clitoris.

They get all swollen up.

No, get him says so.

More sense.

It increases blood flow to it, right?

Giddam?

All we can say is, girls, don't take it.

I don't think it's a good for you.

I've never had a girl I've been with take it, so I wouldn't know.

Right.

Have you, I hate to dip and tie by comics a little bit here, but have you watched Doom Patrol at all on the DC?

I haven't been watching anything streaming or anything like that other than one show.

I'm binging

Goldbergs.

Oh, okay.

So I really don't watch.

I haven't watched anything other than Goldberg's.

What do you say, Goldbergs?

Thumbs up.

Soberg's great.

And it's so wholesome.

It's so sweet.

It makes me giggle.

I can't recommend it enough.

It's like an old school sitcom that's destined to become one of those classics.

I wandered onto the set of that one day really but there was no one there it was like we had a meeting and then we got lost on the back lot and we walked into this door and we were in the kitchen of goldberg's and we're it was and we're like what the is there no security here it was we just walked every room of the set we started moving things around on the floors and shit

and that was it but it's a very funny show

i mean that kid because i'm watching it from the beginning

They lucked into a fucking, they lucked out, man, finding that young kid.

Yeah.

Adam.

Yeah.

I mean, he's fucking he's great, it's a home run.

It's like, how do you act at that good at that age?

Yeah, these

you look at, it's like, how, how extensive is the search to find a kid that could act like that?

It's absolutely astonishing.

I hope he has won an Emmy.

I don't follow the

drama of all the awards these days, but I mean, hopefully, that kid has won something by now.

He will, if he doesn't get his life through,

Doom Patrol is fucking excellent, excellent, dude.

It is, it is

the most precise

comic book

to television.

You can't believe what they're getting away with.

It is pure comic book madness on fucking television.

Where is this on now?

Well, now it's on HBO Max and everything like that.

It was on the DC streaming thing.

But the idea is that they get a cross-did you read Grant Morrison's?

Oh, yeah.

It's based on that.

It's that team.

Scissorman.

Scissormen aren't in it yet.

It's all crazy Jane.

Crazy Jane's one of the main characters.

It's Crazy Jane, Robot Man.

Negative Man?

Negative Man, who is fucking, they nail it.

They nail it.

Really?

The negative man comes out, and at first he's threatening, and then without him ever saying a word, you're like, oh, fuck, I start feeling bad for this guy.

It is, dude, they get across concepts like Danny.

I don't remember because I read it so long ago, but is Danny, Danny's Street in that?

A living street, sentient street?

Yeah, yeah.

They pull that off.

So you you care about a fucking it's a street called Danny Street and it's a sentient street.

And he communicates through the words on the on the storefronts and the traffic signals and everything.

And by his third appearance, you're like, yeah, it's fucking Danny the street.

And you get so excited.

I mean, the concepts that they get across in this,

it's Brendan Frazier's Robot Man.

It's just fucking so he, it's great, dude.

Now, this is, I haven't heard a lot of buzz about this.

Do you think that maybe we're getting that saturation point of too

streaming

superhero things?

I think not a lot of people, it's the same thing that the Harley Quinn show had because the Harley Quinn show is fucking excellent.

And

until they started taking it off the DC app and putting it on other things, it was under the radar because nobody was watching the DC app.

But now that it's on HBO Max and stuff like that, I think people are going to start seeing it more.

It's fucking excellent.

You should watch the show.

It's so weird.

Like they just go for it with everything.

They go for the weirdest fucking shit possible you have the hbo max app yeah how many how many streaming things do you subscribe to um i just got i just got uh my first streaming thing what netflix hulu

i got hulu netflix and the hbo max just three i had the dc as well but once they once harley quinn ended and they started putting uh uh doom patrol on uh HBO Max, I let it go.

Do you pay for no commercials in Hulu?

Yeah.

It's the best money.

Oh, why?

It's like three bucks.

Because then you can get, then you're like, okay, I want to get a drink real fast.

Or I want to.

What's the fucking pause buttons for?

Well, when it's in the dark, when I'm watching usually, and I can't find that button to pause it.

You have a whole system down then.

Yeah.

It feels like we're watching TV, though, then.

I know.

We have commercials.

I've heard people say this, but I'm with you.

I don't like it.

Yeah, I don't mind it.

My wife is like, we got to upgrade.

I'm like, no, we're not upgrading.

It's pointless.

What?

Because you can't sit there for 90 seconds and wait.

What do you think?

But isn't it also the same commercial over and over again?

No.

No.

She's like, well, we're 52 years old.

No, I don't want to waste time on a fucking commercial.

Every second counts.

It's not worth it.

I hate it.

It's only $3 a month.

Oh, really?

It's that cheap?

It's literally only $3 a month.

You go from like $7.99 to $11.99 or something like that.

Yeah, well, yeah,

I hear you.

But there's something about feeling like you're watching television though when you got those commercials, though.

It reinforces that, like, what's that stuff in your head that those synapses are firing?

Your serotonin is.

Yeah, it's like I'm like, oh, I'm watching TV.

If I'm watching it without commercials, it feels like it's not normal TV to me.

I don't know why.

It's just whole stuff.

Yeah, I've adapted to that.

I don't think

I hate commercials.

Really?

Like, if I go to a hotel

and I'm watching like forensic files, and then there's a fucking 10-minute commercial about a medication I know I'll never need.

And it's like every commercial break, there's a different one.

I mean, we watch TV here.

We don't have any apps or anything at the Stash.

So we watch six to seven hours of television, and we have a great time with the commercials.

Giddam starts mimicking the commercials because he knows all the lines.

Mike and then joins in.

It's a fucking blast.

That really sounds awesome.

Giddam annoyed.

Right?

You start to mimic the commercials, you know all the lines.

Yeah, especially Alex and Caleb on the Shreddish commercials.

Alex.

And we start going to.

So you just start making fun of handicapped children?

That sounds funny.

If there's no customers in the store, we start getting a little blue.

So there's like this one commercial where Caleb's sitting in the Shriners hospital and he looks nervous and Alec wheels over to him.

Yeah.

And we start going off.

No, wait, what's his wee shit?

It's you and Mike.

So Mike and I start going off like

Alex shows him like the room in the hospital where the nurse gives him handies and

a little laughing at his own jokes.

It doesn't go any further than that, but

Caleb's saying that there's one bone in his body that he can't break.

All right.

Trying to talk Doom Patrol here, and this fucking guy is coming over here with a hand jump shooting.

Child molestation.

Because

isn't young Alec over 18 now?

Yeah.

I told you, Q, it's a fucking blast.

Well, I see that now.

Yeah, get rid of that.

Get rid of that Hulu plush you got.

Go back to commercials.

Get him to come over and talk some commercials.

Caleb has a new blanket.

What do you say?

Have you watched Super Patrol?

No, I did watch on your recommendation.

I watched I binged both seasons of Harley Quinn.

Great, right?

Up until the end, I was a little

season two.

That was the big fucking everything that was building today.

Yeah, no, just.

I enjoyed.

He did show me some Harley Quinn stuff.

I really enjoyed the Invisible Jet stuff.

Oh, so fun.

So funny.

Yeah, like that kind of stuff.

I was like, yeah, that is.

birds, like, whenever they're driving in an invisible vehicle, these birds just smack right into the side.

I like the Kite Man, Poison, Ivy relationship, because

it was just corny enough for me to, like, I could see

something of myself in there.

I agree, but, and it was, to me, it's more interesting.

Like, I've never seen it.

I've seen Ivy and Harley together a billion times.

I never saw Kite Man and

Ivy.

So I was like, this is fucking great.

I was like, this is awesome.

It's something new.

And everybody's reaction to their relationship.

I thought it was so well done.

I just hope.

but Doom Patrol is even.

Oh, you know, who plays Chief?

Is uh Timothy Dalton.

Yes, it's fucked, dude.

Mike loves it, too.

Yeah, it's like it's like shooting comic books, mainlining it into your veins, man.

They fucking let it, but it's so weird, dude.

I'm telling you, you would love it.

Love it.

Is it as have HBO Max?

Like, what would you say to be rated?

Or okay, oh, violence.

Nothing we could watch, nothing we could watch in the store.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not, it's not, it's not vulgar, but they talk like people talk, and there is a hell of a through line.

One of the characters is gay,

where they would show them fucking making out and shit like that.

I don't know if the average person walking in the door would be like, This is great.

This is Red Meg, not Asbury Park.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

We are not turning Mary Tyler Moore's show off to fucking watch Doom Patrol.

We don't care how good it is.

I'm just like Ray need to replace that girl

because now her voice just grades my nerves like that.

That, oh, but Donald, what am I gonna do about this?

What's your least favorite show that Walt insists on watching?

Right now, I had to say that girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's.

Mila Thomas is awesome.

And I know nobody knows what we're talking about, right?

It's Donnie whose wife's gone.

It's just, it's her voice.

It's like I said, it's that breaky voice.

It's just, it's gotten on my nerves now.

Oh, yeah.

And we've lapped it, I think, like three or four times.

So it's the same episode.

Oh, look, it's the one where she's

singing with, what's her name?

Oh, yeah, the one who was singing for the film.

It'll be small.

You'll be great.

Got a whole world on your plate.

No, the one from Airplane.

Kate Jackson?

No, no, Kate.

Kate Jackson.

No one gives a fuck.

Who was she in the airplane?

She was like when they were going to be Ethel Mermin, Ethel Merman.

Ethel Merman comes back up.

She's not just in one season.

She comes back in another season.

They're like,

Do you remember that time Ethel Merman was here and you taught her how to make soup, Dad?

Oh, yeah, Daddy.

Ethel Mermin.

Holy shit.

You may as well say, like Abraham Lincoln.

That's about how.

I got to be honest,

in the circles I run with, there are a lot of Ethel Merman references.

Oh, yeah?

Yes.

Really?

Sal, Sal, Sal, and Murray use it all the fucking time.

Let's see what you're talking about.

You didn't think you'd hear it on television, did you?

Oh, fucking dude, Doom Patrol.

But let me

watch that.

Thanks, guys.

46.

We were talking about some woke stuff earlier.

Whoa.

A little bit.

And I consider you guys to be more woke than me, so I was wondering what you would do

or what your opinion is on this.

There was a professor in California, and he asked one of his students to anglicize her name because it sounds like an insult in English.

So I guess he has to, like, when he does

roll call or attendance or whatever it is they call it in college, you know, he has to say her name.

And I guess she's from Vietnam, and her,

it's her, I don't know, she has four names, and the first two parts are p-h-u-c-b-u-i

which are pronounced fuckboy

now

as a professor

in a college setting

what do you do

you don't have to say her name

just call her ms boy ms boy well or miss like uh

it's n-g-u-y-e-n guyan maybe i don't know Isn't that Diane's last name in Bojack?

Yeah, it is.

It is, right?

Nagayan, right?

Yeah.

Nagaian, okay.

But aren't they

students, though,

mature enough to handle it saying her name out loud?

No, it's not high school, it's college.

Dude, if I'm always pretty funny, I would laugh every time he said it.

Because you're not laughing at her name.

You're laughing at the professor saying fuckboy.

Yes.

That's what's funny.

She's incidental.

I have to give you more credit than you're giving yourself.

I can't imagine that you start the classes in September and by February you're still laughing.

I think even you would be like,

Yeah, oh, yeah.

It would, it would, wouldn't take long before the shine wore off, I guess.

But he says, here's his argument: if I lived in Vietnam and my name in your language sounded like eat a dick, I would change it to avoid embarrassment.

Which is, I mean,

I don't know.

I think that's too forward, though.

That's not his calling.

It sounds like he's anglicizing.

Yeah, it sounded like he was kind of stepping up.

I'd be like, you arrogant prick.

Like, this is my family name.

Like, I'm not going to fucking change it because of you.

Because you're offended.

Say it, say fuckboy, say it.

It's the youngest age, though, that fuckboy can be like, like, when your girls were in school and, like, dad, during attendance today, the teacher said fuckboy, and you're like, did she?

And then you're all pissed off.

I wouldn't be pissed off.

I would be like, did you hear this, Deb?

Go check that out.

What are you going to do about it?

How do we feel about this?

There has to be a certain age where you're like, I don't want them to say fuckboy in front of my kids.

I would just pronounce it maybe fug, fug boy.

Something you just look ignorant.

I would just say it a different way.

I think you're right.

I think, Q, you just go like Miss Guyan.

Yeah.

Like, why don't you say my first name?

Why don't you say it?

Fuckboy.

He taught at the college for 15 years, but then he got suspended.

I think he may have even gotten fired.

Fired for that?

I believe so.

I think that's an overreaction.

Shocked and appalled by the racist comments comments they were seeing from this faculty member.

Everybody's shocked and appalled at racist shit now, or even something that's even remotely could be racist or construed as racist.

Everyone is shocked and appalled.

They weren't fucking a month ago.

Now they're shocked and appalled.

There's got to be a clause in the shocking appalling when someone's name rhymes with fuckboy.

There's got to be a clause where we can discuss it like adults.

You're right.

I'd be like, look, it sounds like fuckboy.

I don't know what to tell you.

And it's true, if his name was Eda Dick in Vietnam, I guarantee they'd be like, can you Vietnamese your name up a a little bit?

And nobody's gonna be like, Well, this is shocking and appalling.

Yeah, I think people maybe don't know what the words shocked and appalled mean because it just seems like that should be reserved for very rare moments in your life.

But because if everything's shocking and appalling, then nothing is shocking and appalling, right?

There's no bar anymore, yeah.

Yeah,

what else do I got?

I had a couple things for you, boys.

Uh, oh, I was said the Walt, uh, Joe Rogan.

I remember how annoyed you were.

Yeah, that he got that big fat

money.

Hundred million?

Fat money.

Got that fat 100 mil, but it looks like Spotify overpaid for three people, including Joe Rogan, Kim Kardashian, and a sportscaster, Bill Simmons.

I don't know if you know who that is.

Okay.

Maybe they overpaid.

Now they're looking back and saying,

maybe we should not have spent that much on Joe Rogan and

the other people.

They already did it.

They're locked in, right?

They're locked in.

How bad does that look?

How does Joe Rogan react to that news that the company now regrets signing him to that?

I mean,

if I got a fucking hundred million, they could fucking call me fuckboy if they wanted to.

Whatever you want.

They could use me as a fuckboy for 100 million.

If Spotify wants a good deal, they should come sniffing our way.

You know,

I mean, we don't need 100 million.

No.

I think they were afraid, it seems.

Three million.

Three million.

A million each, and we're yours.

We'll say what you want us to say.

Exclusive.

How you want me to say it?

When you want me to say it.

The inflection.

Just give me the words.

Just write it up.

You could just put your hand up my ass and just operate my mouth

like a puppet.

That'd be fine for a million dollars.

I guess Spotify was thinking that since podcasts are still relatively in an early stage for trying to commodify them,

they think competitors such as Apple, Amazon, Google, and Tencent, I've never heard of them,

will just step in and now they have like big, big corporations to deal with, you know?

I mean, Microsoft is kind of the pioneer when they hired us to do Overkill.

Yeah, on the Zoom platform.

I mean, there was a long stretch where nobody was paying for podcasts, and now.

But I don't understand, like, what is he getting $100 million for?

It's an only release on Spotify?

I think so.

It's an only release on Spotify-type situation.

If I was in his audience, I'd be like, I'd

exclusive D.

I might be annoyed by that.

Why?

Be like, I used to download and listen to you anywhere, but now I got to go to Spotify.

I think this is more.

I don't have Spotify.

I think it's not so much about the podcast, it is about his video, because he does video.

Oh, so you can still listen to the podcast?

I believe so.

Free with ads.

So they paid $100 million.

They pay more than that, right?

$100 million for Joe Rogan.

They paid $100 million just so they could run videos of what people are already listening to on anywhere?

I think before it goes to YouTube.

It says the streaming giant won't likely see a return on its investment.

It seems crazy.

Who made that deal?

Like, who?

Like, they have to be fired.

Exclusive rights to the Joe Rogan experience.

A deal with Kim Kardashian for an original podcast on criminal justice reform.

What?

That'll get a lot of fucking ears.

And a deal with DC Comics for a slate of original scripted podcasts based on their superheroes.

So they spent 200 million on all that.

100 million going to Joe Rogan.

You know what?

Now that's the only one that I heard that sounds fucking pretty awesome.

They're doing radio plays with DC characters.

Yeah.

They're doing Sandman?

Yeah.

Oh, news stories or they're aiming stuff.

Wow.

It says that it drove up Spotify's stock initially, but despite the volume of original programming, Spotify's podcast unit won't generate much earnings and downgraded its stock to underperform.

Nobody wants that.

So I guess, yeah, it's like you can't.

Yeah, it appears actually that it's exclusive, that you won't be able to get this Joe Rogan stuff anywhere else.

You can still listen to it with ads for free, but it's going to be on Spotify.

That would annoy me, but not if I was Joe Rogan.

No, it would be like a small price to pay.

Don't listen anymore.

Damn, man.

I just wonder what he was thinking when he got that contract offer.

He must have been like, sign that fucking thing in the middle of it.

What did they say?

Oh, my God.

I can't even imagine, man.

They didn't cut him a check for $100 million, right?

Like, I'm sure sure it's over.

I'm sure it's over a couple of years or stock options or whatever.

Damn.

Because I know when Howard Stern jumped to Sirius, the big number was he got 100 million, but it was in stocks and

it was in, and that out of that 100 million, they had to build the studio and stuff like that.

It wasn't like here's 100 million for you.

Right.

It was here's 100 million, make your show and keep a certain amount.

What does he do, though, Rogan, though?

What does he do?

Does he do like, does he do fun shit or is it just a matter of time?

He just sits there and talks.

No, he just sits there and talks.

He talks to very interesting people.

That's what one does that you just get high.

Is that it?

Yeah, a lot of times he's high.

Talks about like manly stuff like MMA shit and shooting elks and that sort of thing, making elk steaks.

And there's that many people that like that like

tune in every day.

And it's not too much to keep up with.

It's like fucking four hours a day or something.

Like it's daily, right?

Oh, yeah.

It's like four days a week, I think, Monday through Thursday or something.

Like, how do people have enough time to keep up with that?

I don't know.

It's like

Stern, like drive to work and you pop it on and yeah, listen to it in bits and pieces.

Yeah.

But to like 16 hours a week.

That's a lot.

That's a lot.

But it's not like we don't make money.

I mean, if you want to hear about Raycon earbuds,

maybe it's not 100 million.

Whether you're working from home or working on your fitness, you want what you're listening to to be what you're listening to, not what you're...

Okay, I'm supposed to personalize here.

Roommates, neighbors, significant other children are listening to.

That's a big problem for me lately.

Sage won't use headphones, so she comes down blasting this shitty pop music out of her iPod.

I mean, her iPad.

Garbage.

I got to get her a pair of Raycon, so I'm going to listen to that shit.

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You know, real quick, we should go with Spotify with a fucking like a big take-it-or-leave it deal.

We'll bring back

two live crew or one middle-aged Jew if they sign us to a $3 million project.

They're like, this seems like the perfect time to do something like that.

That's too dicey dicey at this point who the hell knows anymore

people might love it

they might think you're the funniest person ever

all right all right let me all right let me let me work on it i'll work on our picture spotify's like okay all right all right

but it plays to like it plays to um black america and it plays to jewish america yes do go on

we're crossing we're making bridges we're bringing people together with this fucking this game i agree.

I think it's a fun game.

And if the Jewish guy is totally okay with it, I don't think anyone

should tell him, like, no.

But it also has nothing to do with being Jewish or middle-aged

or being an African-American.

It has nothing to do with it.

It's just about making offensive rap songs.

And you're like, I wonder if

you fake offensive rap songs.

I wonder if Old Sunday Jeff would write something like that.

And by old Sunday Jeff, I mean Walt.

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Did Rogan

finagle the numbers, you think, when he was doing negotiations?

Did he say he had more listeners than maybe they thought he really had?

Like we do?

I don't think we ought to worry.

I mean, he's the most popular podcast in the world, right?

I believe so, yeah.

I don't think there's anyone that can claim otherwise.

Wow.

I've never heard an episode.

I think it's incredible that.

I like it.

I mean, I like some of them.

Some of them are pretty good.

Yeah.

I mean, that's too long for me to listen to any one podcast, I think, unless it were like, see, Tell him Steve Dave.

Christmas special.

We haven't gone anywhere near the 16-hour mark, though, for he's doing 70 hours a week, 16 hours a week.

16 hours a week, yeah.

Yeah, the closest we came would have been like

back when we were doing that morning show.

I know, that's a ton of reps.

Kind of the last thing I wanted to talk about, we all know that if a male teacher has an affair with uh a younger student

uh go on he should be penalized in in death or being uh sexually assaulted in jail right wait what i mean what's the age difference between the teacher and the student well it doesn't matter she's a student what matters if she's 18

versus fucking four no if you're well yeah yeah i mean yeah she's a little bit older okay all right all right all right i thought we were talking all students and all teachers right okay i know you're i know what this story is right uh where have said, as I was to see that one of the OG

hot for teacher, Mary Kay Latorno died.

Do you remember her?

No.

Do you remember her?

She was like the, she started the rash of incidents.

I think like, like, she opened the door for these people.

How old is she?

She died at 58.

Oh, okay.

So she was young.

She did this in the early 90s, though.

Yeah, she was.

She got with her fourth grader.

and had his child.

He was a fourth grader?

He was 12.

I think he was in sixth grade.

Come on, Walt.

Don't be crazy.

Well, he would stay back, though.

I think he stayed back, though.

I think he stayed back a couple of years.

So she fought.

He should have been in sixth grade, but he was in fourth grade, I think.

He was, whatever the case is, he was 12 when they were married.

She married him?

I'm sorry.

She had his child.

She was 12 when they did get married.

And she later married him

because

she went to jail for it.

She got out of jail, was supposed to stay away from him.

Went near him again.

I believe was rejailed.

Yes, in 1996, police discovered discovered them in a minivan.

Rejailed?

I like that.

Yeah, I don't know.

Uh, in a minivan parked in the suburban Seattle city of Des Moines, Marina.

Unbelievable.

She originally told officers that the boy was 18, raising suspicions that something sexual was going on.

But back at the police station, they denied there had been any touching.

Instead, they said she had been babysitting the boy and took him from her home after she and her husband had a fight.

Can you imagine being the husband cut over and over by a 12-year-old?

Sounds like, get him.

Less than two months after that incident, she became pregnant with the boy's child.

In 1997, she pleaded guilty to raping the boy.

The daughter was born in 97, so she's what,

23 now, huh?

The daughter.

Wow.

Through a plea deal, her sentence was reduced to six months, but two weeks after her release, she was caught having sex with a teen again.

Same teen?

Again, same teen.

By then, she was pregnant with a couple's second child.

Oh, my God.

They moved to Georgia, and then Georgia was born behind bars.

They finally were able to marry in 2005 after she was in jail for seven years.

Oh, my God.

They stayed married until she died

at 58.

So she was still in jail when she died?

No, no, no.

After seven years, she got out.

They got married.

They stayed married until she just died from colon cancer.

Can I say something that, like, that's just throw it out there just because it's,

you know, just for

to

digest?

Is the state,

like, should the state have given up at a point of like these two are in love?

Probably at the point he's 18, I guess.

That's the law, right?

I mean, like, at this, I mean, if they're having a family and they're married, and they, I know they didn't know they were going to get married, but right, I mean,

it's, it's, uh, it's a story that, like, it's not an easy story.

It's, I mean, there's a lot of gray in this one, not the beginning, but like they basically became a family, though.

Yeah, it is weird, but Brian's right.

If you swap those genders,

then it's not as, then you're a little bit like, so he got her pregnant when she was 13 and then got out of jail and they fucked again and she was pregnant again when she was 16.

Immediately.

Yeah, you would be like, get this fucking guy back in prison, but it's different because it's a guy and a girl.

I don't, you know.

Because if a teacher tried to fuck me at 13, depending on the teacher, I'd be like, this is awesome.

But that is what people say.

It's like, you know, that's the wrong attitude to take, though.

You don't know how to do it.

You got to stop

thinking that way because it probably would damage you beyond belief.

I don't know that either.

You don't know that, but it's almost like.

So I might as well just go with the one that I like.

Would you say you were like you had some

dealt with some difficult moments growing up?

This could have been like ghastly on the fire.

You might have committed suicide if things didn't go right, though.

Maybe.

You know?

I'd be sitting here with us.

I don't want to think that.

You don't need that much pussy.

How greedy can the guy get?

You just can't have your peer?

You can't just fuck your peers?

No, I can't.

Think of the story I would have right now if I was able to sit here and tell you honestly that I fucked my teacher when I was 12.

That'd be the exclusive.

That's the fucking Spotify money right there if I'm dropping knowledge like that.

Oh, that would have been great.

We did not have teachers aside from Miss Stavola.

I don't think there was one teacher that you would be like, oh, I'd fuck her.

Yeah, sure.

There was a teacher I thought that

was too nice to me, though, in my senior year that I was like, something weird's going on here.

Oh yeah?

Miss Keillor?

No, Miss Keillor.

She was very, very old.

You didn't even know his laughter explained it to me.

It took a second for me to get it.

No, as a teacher, it was an older teacher too, but like just way too like.

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

MH?

No.

No?

No.

She was very prim and proper and she would blush.

when I came to her.

MC.

Yeah.

Okay, I know who you're talking about.

Yeah, and like, and I could, and I, and when I once I saw I could make her blush, that's all I wanted to do is make her blush.

And she had a very almost like 50s, 60s housewife vibe about her.

She was, yeah, you're right.

She was sexy in a way.

Like, in a way that, like,

you're like the process.

I'm so idiotic.

Yeah, I need some lessons.

I'm such a dope.

Teach me.

Remember in that cross-like, we would do that's a turn-on right here.

I would not believe how low my IQ is.

Yeah, but I, yeah, I remember just being like, and then being like

feeling like something's not normal here.

Like, she does not the proper like, especially from her.

Yeah, it was weird.

Oh, it's too bad you didn't get her, man.

That was

Spotify money, like Keasewood.

That was a fun class.

We would always, we would bring in stories about this other town that our friend lived in that was always like, they're always like denigrating stories.

Like, that was our current events.

We would just bring in stories about Keensburg.

This goes back to like some of the very original stuff we talked about.

Like Cindy's fuck truck was about a student that was alleged to have been like having sex with teachers and students in her van.

And then there was another girl who somebody claimed, and I don't know why you would consider it to be even remotely true, was saying that like she fucked the gym teacher, this girl, and she was, and he made her hold a soccer ball between her tits.

And like, oh, she's a big dude.

So like, he believed it at the time.

But he liked soccer, so someone just said that, and it just stuck.

Right.

And he doesn't seem like the kind of guy.

No.

Yeah.

And the other one, forget it.

But there was a teacher who

married a student after she graduated.

Really?

Like, immediately.

Immediately.

They're still together.

Wow.

I know two girls who fucked their teachers in high school.

Really?

Yeah, two different girls.

Did you know them well?

I didn't know them in high school.

Later, as I met people

in life,

did you have suspicions?

i went to an old boy's

school yeah

so it wasn't murder no no no when i was like in my late 20s i met a girl who was like yeah i a teacher in high school and then later in life i met another person do you do you like ask for all the oh i got them all i got them all all the all the the dirty details

that's like what happened what happened no question would go on in no and i will say in both situations they both separate women who didn't know each other said the same thing.

I made it happen.

Like I actively worked on getting so like that sting video, that police video, don't stand so close to me, it's accurate.

Both of them said that.

Like I would say, I would, like, when I went to his class, I would get my tits out.

I would stay after everybody left the room and like make little comments.

How'd you get her tits out?

She would just like lower the.

Oh, I think I literally get that.

No, no, no.

Although eventually they did.

And then one of them was willing to leave his wife and move to Hawaii with her.

And that's when she turned him down.

And that ended that.

And then the other one just fucked him while she was in high school.

Did you ever see that Reese Witherspoon movie Election?

Yeah.

That's exactly what happens.

The teacher is like, I'm going to leave my wife.

I'm going to,

remember he makes that little pamphlet

on Hawaii and shit.

Now, do you think they're lying to themselves that didn't

it wasn't healthy?

Do you think that they, or do you think, or did they?

The feeling I got from them was they were like, at that point, I was a senior.

I was old enough to know right from wrong.

I was doing it because I wanted to do it.

It is weird that they didn't feel like victims in any way.

Right, but they, but did it, but do they, maybe they don't even realize, though, that like it did do something that, you know, detrimental to their, to their like,

I mean,

I didn't get that feeling from them, and they didn't seem to feel that way.

Like, they seemed like it was fun and a stupid thing that they did when they were young.

I think that, like, as a boy, because we were talking about the boys earlier, if you're like 12, 13, 14, even 15, like, boys are not mature at all.

I believe that this case seems to be a very oddball case, a 12-year-old who eventually marries a lady, but for the most part, I'll bet you it does something to you sexually.

Like, it fucks with your head so that you can't process things in a way.

As a 12-year-old,

even later on in life, though, I think it affects the, I would believe it would affect your way to like you would look at women a certain way.

Oh, no, no, I agree.

That 12-year-old, but I don't, I didn't get the

not an 18-year-old, because it's like, so today you can't make any decisions about fucking this guy, but if you graduate, the next day, you can make that decision.

Right, it doesn't make sense.

It doesn't make a lot of sense.

But

I would make the argument that the teachers should lose their jobs.

Yeah.

That's.

Could they remake like some of a new hot band remake Hot for Teacher and make that same video that Van Halen made in this in this day and age?

I don't remember the video.

Oh, it was

like worms her, right?

Yeah, like the girl, the teacher gets up on the teacher.

Oh, yes, or it's a stripping.

She's got a sash.

Yeah, I remember.

I mean, it's so, like, painfully cringy now when you watch something like that.

But, like, back in 1984,

nobody, that's what everybody wanted.

That's what everybody was rocking out to.

Yeah.

People can't...

I was telling Chuck this the other day.

I was like, you can't really truly...

If you haven't lived through a decade, you can't truly express to someone what it was like.

And that's why everybody who's getting mad today has no fucking frame of reference and no context for the way shit was back then.

It's like people, it was just judged differently.

And like, any fucking society, it will evolve.

And that's where we're at now, where it's evolving, where you can't do certain things, and you can't say certain things, and certain things you have to, you can't overlook anymore because it hurts people's feelings or whatever.

But we hadn't reached that point, so you're not fucking more evolved than the people that are going to come fucking 50 years from you, you fucking idiots.

So, it's get off your holier than thou bullshit.

You know?

That is the weightiest tell him, Steve Dave,

I've heard in quite some time.

I mean, it it's like that was like, yeah, that was

beautiful.

Thank you.

Yeah, tell him, Steve Dave.