The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Recine - Episode 83

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Hello, and welcome to the Adam Freelance Show podcast.

We are, Nick is, Nick's doing a PSP right now.

What are you playing on that?

What do you got going on there?

I'm playing Control, which came out in 2019 and is free right now.

What is a PlayStation?

I think it's for,

I can't tell what weight women that it's for.

Okay.

It's definitely for

woman game.

I wouldn't even say it's a girl game.

So, how fat these bitches?

What are we talking about?

I don't know.

I don't know if it's fat, it's more of like a man-faced sort of vibe, you know?

It's like you know, like a woman that's like, I know how to do guy stuff, but she doesn't actually know how to do any sort of, she just sort of looks like a man.

So, she's like, I can fucking do it.

Like, the other day, I changed the batteries in my TV remote.

Yeah, you're just ugly.

You know, they're like, I don't fucking need help to screw in a light bulb, you know, really basic stuff.

Like, I put together my own NKEA furniture type of lady.

We love them.

Yeah, while I'm playing their games.

Yeah, yeah.

Nick's setting them.

We're getting into the gaming space, I think.

That's the announcement.

Well, that's the thing.

Adam interviewed Destiny.

So I debated and eviscerated Destiny, and we're going to get that out.

Adam met Destiny on the show.

On the show.

He told me.

Nick was hooting against me.

No, I wasn't.

I was watching.

I had a good time.

Don't even try to make it.

To the extent that now he's pro-Levy.

Don't even try to make it.

Nick said that Israel has some good points.

Yeah, he's trying to,

he can't even.

No, Nick was very supportive, and

he's my rock.

You were here for it?

I was here, and Destiny tells us afterwards, you know how much money he makes?

$15 million a week.

A week?

On Twitter or Twitch.

One of the things.

So I said...

Kick.

Yeah, on Kicks, Trick Twitch.

Kick flip is the name of the website.

If you want to learn a lot, because he had a thing recently where he said,

I dropped my hot hot chocolate that i ordered from uber eats and i said who the hell orders hot chocolate on uber eats but i guess the king of france that's it he's addicted to hot chocolate this is going to come out all in the in my hot interview with destiny i wouldn't say he's addicted he likes it and it's winter time he's addicted he's he's he's been at the end of his rope a couple times sucking sucking yeah i shouldn't have i shouldn't have said that anyway destiny you said it you're it was a great conversation

it was a great conversation sober you knew we were recording i asked him i said do you want me to get you a kombucha And he said, I only drink hot chocolate.

I shouldn't have said that.

I only drank hot chocolate red

after the fact.

I don't care during the interview, none of this.

Honestly, he kind of alpha.

It's just him just being like, ooh, he's a friend of the show, and he kind of alpha the response to whatever that was last year.

As soon as he's gone, I was at dinner.

I was at dinner with my family.

I was like,

I was at dinner with my family, and I went.

I shouldn't have said that.

I was watching Sexual Act.

Your problem is you're too fucking negative.

See, I'm aspirational.

I didn't hear anything about this.

This is the the opposite of the story.

I heard $15 million, which he may or may not even have said.

But I heard this guy wanted to say

something coy about this.

This man is made of money.

Whatever he's doing, he's.

Nick respected him as a businessman.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I said, you know, I was like, so you've got to be good at games to Twitch stream, and apparently you don't even need to play games.

But I think I want to do that part.

The game part.

I don't really know.

We don't really have the technology to show you the screen, but you can definitely watch me play the PlayStation Portable in such a manner.

Maybe the sound will be picked up.

But we'll show you.

So

I got the yellow Hillary Clinton suit.

Oh, it looks like

Uma Thurman.

Yeah, for my man-faced woman, and you win that by playing roulette.

But you can see

she's got masculine features.

I don't know.

I'd still clap that.

Yeah.

This is a really stupid device, by the way, this thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If someone was made out of money, look at what look at this fucking dumb idea it's so big

they just jammed a fucking an android tablet in the middle of a playstation controller and they're like there you go there's your fucking portable playstation

your arms are

it's the same

it's the same controller with just

but don't they make it for a phone now jawboned or whatever uh no that's the destiny video you're thinking of

come on you're friend of the show okay so i had a oh i shouldn't have said that

oh oh I didn't mean that I actually forgot oh I shouldn't have oh I should but he I do think credit to

inspiration intellectual destiny when uh after that the sec the sex stuff leaked I bought this mainly

a child can't get one of these are

in short supply if I buy it if I I'm into buying things now so the children can't get them for Hanukkah or Christmas okay Hanukkah especially yeah Hanukkah definitely especially I think it's, we should probably, considering everything that's going on in Israel, maybe we cancel Hanukkah this year.

It's not a bad idea.

Yeah, I don't care.

You could do it because I do Christmas now.

Yeah.

That's great.

Yeah.

Did you, when you were a kid, did you get excited?

If I had a child and we were celebrating Hanukkah, you know what I'd get them?

A car branded with the World Central Kitchen logo.

And I'd say,

or little power wheels with the logo on top.

And I said, why don't you go drive this around the neighborhood and see if anything happens to you?

And because this year on Hanukkah, we're learning lessons.

Right, right.

What the lesson may be, I don't know.

I'll let you know when I'm done with my lady game.

We're going to figure out this Hanukkah thing once you're done with your girl game.

But, you know, Hanukkah was terrible.

Because my parents weren't from America.

So basically, they made Hanukkah into presidents.

I had the hardest Hanukkah.

No, I'm not saying listen.

I'm talking about my struggle.

I'm not so hard, Hanukkah.

I'm talking about my struggle.

Everyone had a nice Hanukkah, but my parents were core immigrants from a white country that had to that got canceled.

An entire nation that was canceled by the world.

It's true.

This show makes me wish I had friends.

You do have friends.

I love your dynamic.

Oh, my God.

Make fun of each other.

They have no idea.

So basically, in America, Mickey parents into a presence thing to compete with Christmas.

And

I got no presents.

I would get a check.

I would get a check on Hanukkah.

I only got a check for $50,000.

You know that.

And I had to go shop by myself.

And the other children would see me store, and they would say, There's poor Adam.

There's Adam, who's so poor.

I'm not claiming poor.

But my parents didn't buy.

They were like, No, this is like not like Hanukkah isn't, it's not that important of a holiday.

Yeah, right, right.

So then I just like see my friends on Christmas,

like, and it looked so happy and fun.

God, I hate that.

But then the last.

Yeah, yeah.

The last four years, I've done Christmas, and like literally four years ago, Christmas Eve.

How can they fly?

How can they fly?

He's going to be the best streamer ever.

He kind of is.

Why can't he fly?

Yeah, and then basically.

He can't fly.

Motherfucker, he cannot fly.

Do not let him slap.

Do you fight people in this?

Yeah, I'm shooting, motherfucker.

That's why I'm playing it.

It's not like, you know.

It's not total.

Yeah, there's some men part of it.

The microphone, Nick.

The microphone.

What?

Wow.

What are you worried about?

We're going to get content striked?

No, no.

Just they could hear you.

They can hear me.

Yeah, they can hear me.

Anyway, yeah.

God damn.

So, like, yeah, as a 33-year-old man, I remember I was like laying in bed on Christmas Eve, and I was like, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow for presents.

Nice.

I was like, this is the happiest thing of all time.

That's great.

Yeah.

Fuck Hanukkah.

I'm going to do Christmas the rest of my life.

And it's not fun.

Christmas is the nicest thing of all time.

It's really a nice thing.

It's so nice.

Yeah, yeah.

Does any other religion have anything as nice as Christmas?

Well, Kwaza, I imagine, is incredible.

Ramadan is pretty fucking sick.

Ramadan is sick, yeah.

No food.

You don't eat anything all day, but then at night time.

You go to the buffet, baby.

Yeah.

A little weed trip to 7-Eleven, dude.

I'm going

all day.

Moldy.

What's up, dog?

I'm Muslim.

How y'all doing?

You're brown also?

All right.

That's me talking to the employees at 7-Eleven.

Oh, I thought you were doing a a homed.

Yeah, let me get a two-liter off-brand soda, a bag of chips, can of Pringles, and a moldy old banana.

Because my girlfriend.

Because I'm celebrating Ramadan.

Yeah, my girlfriend's in the hospital for Ramadan.

Yeah, I don't buy that because I've tried Ramadan.

We have to make peace after all these years.

Just to show Israel and Palestine that Tom Myers and us could be friends.

Yeah.

Maybe

we have to make peace.

Tom, please.

Please.

I want to see Tom Myers meet Tom Pearl.

The shit guy.

And they start a band together called Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker.

The Tom Tom Club.

And then people go to see it and they're like, oh my god, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers?

And then it's just a man eating shit and another man bombing.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't

read it.

Yeah, they're like, well, this isn't Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker.

It turns out the name became public domain after Tom Petty got caught fucking children.

It's

Wasn't that the guy from The Who?

They're like, oh, yeah, well, whatever.

Enjoy Tom Pearl, ladies and gentlemen.

In another universe, what Tom Pearl does, eating his own shit and drinking his own piss on camera, that occupies the same space as Monster Jam.

And in that world, driving a truck with giant tires is the most disgusting thing you could possibly do.

But poo-poo eating is like there's like secret videos on the internet.

They're like, look at the size of the tires.

And people are like, oh, I can't.

They're like vomiting.

And they're like, anyways, I'm taking my son to see a man eat his own shit

in an arena.

You know how kids love it.

Yeah.

Just a big arena and Tom Pearl walking out completely naked, waiting at everybody.

How y'all doing?

I'm going to eat my shit for you.

The name of that universe, Israel.

The name is

Israel 3, yeah.

Yeah.

On Earth 12.

Your wife's like, you never do anything with our son.

You know?

I took him to the fucking shit.

I took him to see Tom Pearl.

We got him a bowl.

I got him a mixing bowl at the gift shop.

You're bringing your fucking gay friends with their big trucks.

Trying to corrupt our boys.

You guys stop talking about Monster Jam on the podcast.

Yeah.

Why?

Because we're bringing a demonetized.

No, in the other universe.

Am I talking about it?

There we go.

Nick talks about.

Yeah, Nick's got a real fucked up mind.

You asked me what I did this weekend, and I said nothing, and that's not true.

I re-watched

Stir of Echoes and the movie Frequency.

Okay.

Oh, I love that movie.

Frequency?

Me and my dad.

It's about a father-son kind of.

Yeah, right.

It's nice.

It's weird to watch with your dad.

I watched it the first time with my dad, and it was like,

I remember, I was like, oh, this is nice.

It's about a dad and some.

Yeah, frequency.

I watched the squid and the whale with my mom.

Yeah.

And I forgot there's a scene where the kid rubs his Jewish comedy

books.

Klein, we know him.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

He's around.

We don't know.

Adam's friends with him.

It's one of Adam's.

I wouldn't say friends.

Adam's famous friends trademark.

I don't know if he's famous.

He's

jacked off.

AFFTM.

Adam's famous friends.

You have a lot of famous friends, right?

Yeah.

Of course.

Adam goes to SNL every weekend.

Then he goes to school.

Yeah, it's cool.

I went to SNL this weekend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then

he has no business being there.

No.

I do.

He's allowed in there, and then he always tells me, he tells me these stories about him going up to whoever the musical guest is.

And

they're like, stop.

Who gets you in?

Stop talking to me.

And then Adam's like,

they want me to talk to them.

Can I hit the bait, please?

If you're nicer to me, we'll move forward.

Actually, you've been saying funny things.

Be careful.

You might break the PlayStation portable.

Who gets me in?

God.

Who gets me in?

I would fucking kill you and myself if somebody ever bought my fucking breakfast.

If you want tickets, I'll hit up the Israeli console.

It'll get you in no problem.

Okay.

Yeah.

Next time.

If Ariana Grande is.

The way this thing works is too, it's so stupid.

So what it does is it turns on your PlayStation at home.

It does.

And then streams do it.

So at my apartment now, the PlayStation is on.

Your cats are watching.

The screen is on.

Everything I'm doing on here is on the TV.

Why?

That's just how it works.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I think Sony has enough money where they're like, they do the same thing Apple does, but Sony never had a Steve Jobs.

So Apple can come out with bad products, and people are like, maybe they found this in his notes?

In the attic he lived in, where he was filled with easels where he would paint iPhones and all these beautiful ideas that came out of his beautiful mind.

And that's where we got an iPad that's a little bit bigger.

The ingenious idea of a slightly larger iPad.

All these things he came up with, but Sony, they just have all this money and they're like, yeah, just fucking make garbage.

Yep.

darts Sony darts that's what's coming next Adam's Adam's going don't forget about the darts

what's it what we're gonna what do they make nowadays it's not PlayStation

I mean they still make TVs and shit

yeah I mean in the PlayStation world they do stuff they always do they do bullshit accessories like which I do have the PlayStation VR too and it's it's actually pretty awesome yeah yeah he bought it for a sketch that I had

He bought it for a sketch that he decided was bad, and then we scrapped it.

Well, I didn't decide it was bad.

It was phenomenal.

That would have been the only joke.

It would have been our open.

Is that I have PlayStation VR.

It is nice to not air stuff sometimes when it's bad.

You feel bad.

That is how most people worked throughout the history of

that's the thing, is it doesn't have to.

But podcasting is kind of like...

But it's podcasting as garbage.

It's bad.

Yeah.

Right.

There have been so many.

I mean, this episode's good.

I'm feeling it.

I'm feeling it.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm having it.

Yeah, but it's not like a, you know, I wouldn't, there's not a single podcast I've ever done in my life where I'm I would say, oh, I'm proud of this work that I did.

You're not?

This is like

that are funny.

Yeah.

But it's like being proud of hanging out.

You know what I mean?

Like, man, I had a really good session with my friend.

That's someone that's like new to having friends.

You know what I mean?

They're like, dude,

I had such a good hangout the other day.

I was home from school and I had a 3 p.m.

curfew until I was.

I just thought about a guy of 35 making his first friend and how happy he would be.

It's really sad.

What's going on?

What are you doing?

Me?

I don't know.

My eye's a little itchy.

Yeah, but why are you itching it like that?

Yeah, yeah.

It's a strange way you're doing how do you itch your eyes?

Not like that.

Whatever you're doing is.

Were you fucking your eye?

Bizarre.

It's like you're playing with a clit of your eye.

You got to get some OccuSoft scrubs.

Me and Lewis can tell you about it because we both suffer from eye problems.

Okay.

I get bad styes and shit.

and it's because i do that i would touch my eyes okay yeah you get used to occu scrub wipes and i haven't had a problem since okay just canker sores now

might be like allergies or something yeah probably yeah yeah it's dusty in here is it yeah yeah yeah

from vegas it was free

and he dropped it yeah it was his mom's urn shut up dude

just being in a funeral i'm like you guys where's that bag of dust i'm supposed to get at the end?

What are they, you ever notice that?

You go to a funeral and they give you a big bag of dust at the end.

What the hell am I supposed to do with it?

There's a clip from the podcast.

No one went outside.

I threw in the garbage right away.

There's a clip from the podcast.

What?

Two weeks ago, Nick, my dad, at Thanksgiving, my aunt brought up a clip she saw of us talking about murdering grandma, my grandma.

And she's like, so, yeah, you know, I just really hope your grandmother doesn't see that clip of Nick talking about shooting her on the top of the head with a trumpet-style rifle.

Yeah.

And I was like, yeah,

it's my job.

It's going well.

Yeah, they love being like, that's on the internet.

They get.

You know, that goes on your permanent record.

Your grandma's still around?

93, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about you?

97 and 99.

I feel like we're too old for grandparents.

We are, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's kind of like it makes us immature.

You know what's weird?

There's people that have grandparents but no parents.

Yeah.

You know?

Like Littlefoot from the

Adeland Before Time, yeah.

It's nice that you have a son, so you're up to date on all the baby movies, which I am as well, because I have to be because I'm a Twitch kick streamer.

Right.

Yeah.

Because I'm a kickflip guy.

And so I have to, I don't want to, but I've seen all the Paw Patrol movies.

Okay.

Yeah, Veggie Tales.

So I know my audience.

I'm going on Hassan's stream and I need to explain stuff to, you know, I need to know socialism and then what five-year-olds are up to.

So I can appeal to his audience when I'm on Hassan's stream soon.

Hassan.

Yeah.

Soon.

There's a new Sonic movie coming out this month.

Sonic 3.

Couple weeks, Sonic 3.

He fights Shadow in it.

I've been watching Fish Tank, too.

Okay, what's that?

It's great.

Sam Hyde's thing.

Oh, okay.

Which I don't know how much of it's his thing or he just hosts it and that other guy, is that guy Jet that came up with it.

I don't know too much about that.

This is the first time I've ever really gotten he's a nice guy Jet.

Oh, you met him?

Yeah, and he's one of my celebrity friends.

Oh, okay.

Jet is John Travolta's son.

Yeah, that died in the U.S.

Virgin Islands.

Yeah, okay.

That's such a funny story.

Yeah, what happened?

I don't know, but you can't.

It was in the Bahamas, actually.

You can't be John Travolta and expect people to have sympathy for your dead son.

You know what I mean?

It's like you're John Travolta.

Right.

You know what I mean?

He's so weird.

Yeah.

His wife's dead.

He's dead?

Like, just like, what do you mean?

You're like, why are you reacting that way?

That was a big job.

His wife died, too, did she?

One of the

Kelly Preston died.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Maybe we should look into what's going on with

John Travolta.

Yeah.

Maybe it's been Nicholas Cage killing his family the entire time.

You ever see Face Off?

No.

Pretty good.

Yeah.

Chinese guy directed that.

Isn't that crazy?

Yeah.

How did that even work?

He's like, yeah, you go over there.

Just stand there.

Okay, picture.

Right.

And then Taiwan talks about that.

You take face.

You take face.

I think that all the time.

Anytime I watch a John Wu movie,

I go, how the hell?

You forget he was Chinese.

Yeah, how the hell did anyone understand what he was saying?

Yeah.

You know?

And then who else is?

That must have been impossible.

How could it?

Yeah.

How could they possibly have made this?

It's crazy.

And it turned out amazing.

Yeah, it turns out they know how to direct, too.

Yeah.

And then who's the guy that directed 12 years a slave?

John Wu.

John Wu.

Oh, right, right, right, yeah.

Yeah, people forget that.

You are black.

Okay, black guy.

Black guy.

Listen to me, black guy.

You are a slave.

Now you are a slave.

Five more years.

You're not free yet.

Yeah, it's weird because in America, when you're free, you play violin.

But in China, slave pray violin.

It's like Jakob's fear.

So you're this movie is about the opposite of China.

Where in China, if you work in fear,

then you are basically royalty.

That is that worker, that's the best one you could be, a slave guy.

You know, here.

But then when they make you go prison, then you have to play violin, piano, do math.

So, you know, it's very

duality of Mar.

Marin.

What's wrong with that?

Ad time?

Mike cringed at that.

Mike, are you?

His eyes hurt.

CCP?

What's the first one?

Lucy?

No, they were all in order, so you messed them all up.

They fell off the table.

Okay, no, so it's not Lucy.

Lucy was the first first one.

Aura frames, no?

I put them in order.

You messed them up.

Guys, we want to talk to you about Aura frames.

Okay, yeah, yeah, we can get back to this.

Okay.

Guys, like a lot of people, my grandparents who were alive are not the most tech savvy.

So it seems weird to get them a tech-adjacent gift.

But Aura's digital frame is actually perfect.

And that's because it's tech, but it's so easy.

Now, you have the game?

Folks, we've talked about Aura frames before, and you might be familiar with this, the carver frame now look at that that's perfect for your kitchen counter something like that for a grandparents a kitchen counter that's something small you know but it's big enough that they can see it but aura frames they've really upped the ante lately because you got to see this

come on bro it's funny to imagine someone listening to this

boom

the walden

Have you ever seen a picture frame that fucking big?

I don't think you have, folks.

And it's available at Aura Frames now.

Aura has beat out the entire market on digital frames, but this is one that you can mount on your fucking wall.

You ever see the movie

Ex Machina?

Yeah.

This is like something out of that movie.

Yeah.

You could probably change the photo on these.

So guys, here's it.

Yeah.

Well, it's it.

Yeah, you could change the photos.

You give it to your grandparents.

I didn't think it was just a game.

It's heavy, but

that one is the one that's a gift for your grandparents.

This is the one, I got one of these for you guys.

And I've got old, I've set it so that it's like,

you know, those like Bud Light Dale Earnhardt mirrors.

Yeah.

So it's like I'm in a bar.

Right.

You know, I'm sitting in my apartment and I'm like, you know, Core's Light.

St.

Paulie's growing changes all the time.

So no matter what, I feel like I'm at a different bar.

So when I'm on beer, like 35 and one night, I've only had 11 beers at each bar.

So it's not even really sober, basically.

Pretty much.

I'm good to drive in my

with the VR helmet on and I simulate drunk driving in Gran Turismo.

They have to offer you so much technology.

Like this little thing has unlimited free unlimited photo storage.

So you could put like

10 terabytes of photos on there.

Yeah, you would have to have a lot of photos.

I don't know.

Mike for sure.

That's a good point.

It would be if it's unlimited to have every famous painting ever.

Yeah.

And that's got to be like nine terabytes.

So you have a a gallery, basically.

Yeah.

You see that bitch with an earring on.

You see Guernica.

Who's the bitch with the earring?

Frida?

The bitch with the pearl earring?

Oh, okay.

You know that painting, the bitch with the pearl earring?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is that?

That bitch with the pearl earring.

Paintings are interesting because, like, I need them all.

Paintings are interesting.

This is nice.

The Walden's nice.

This is a premium fucking product.

Yeah.

That's something.

You get that for your grandma that maybe sends you $10

on your birthday.

You get a cheap bitch you get for, well, this you just bring over to their house and you'll be like, oh, I got this.

I picked this one up for myself.

For me?

Yeah, when I was buying you that one.

I really like the Walden.

Show them the picture, Mike.

No, they're on the back.

Oh.

How they got this.

Just a couple of mixed-race kids.

They got this mounted on a wall here.

Yeah.

And it's right next, it's

next to your book bench

with your plant.

I would love to live in a house like this.

It's me.

I come home.

I look at it.

I'm like, what's on the picture frame today?

Oh, it's my children.

My children who are half Japanese, by the way.

And my wife comes out and she's shuffling around.

The apartment's immaculate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right?

Because all she knows how to do is clean.

She hates mess.

Yeah.

She hates mess.

And we've got a lot of appliances for that.

And then I sit and I just look at that picture frame for hours.

And I say, I cannot imagine a better life than this.

You know?

It's like a slideshow, though.

Or can you lock it on?

You can lock it.

Yeah, really, it's so easy to get started.

And once you do, the tech is incredible.

We did a demo on the show a while back, but it was kind of

a bitch in it.

You don't put it up on the table and then do everything on the show.

It's like, we've got important stuff we've got to cover.

Sure, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

We got this fucking election.

You had them, yeah.

Keep going through.

So, guys, here's the deal.

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So, guys, Christmas is coming up.

This is a perfect gift for that old person that you don't really know what the fuck to get them.

Maybe I get this for my parents who just have different photos of Giuliani on.

I mean, that's like, dude, I'll be honest with you.

The smaller one, that is for old people that just don't understand

technology at all.

You know, it's like

you could easily just look at pictures on your phone.

You know what I mean?

That's who that's for.

It's old people that are like, but if it's not in a frame, it's not a picture.

It's not a picture, right?

This motherfucker, that thing's nice.

You can get that one for anybody.

It's all it's heavy.

It's like a nice frame.

It's perfect.

You know how your mom always takes pictures of you in the bath when you're a baby?

Yeah.

Yeah, you could just load it up with all the baby.

She did that this weekend, actually.

Still.

Yeah.

But you're like an adult.

It's not fair.

They treat you like a a fucking baby i've been telling you that yeah you're not you're a big boy she made me turn around and

she made me stand up and turn around take a picture myself

yeah

why do all parents do that do you do that to benjamin no bath pictures no

because i don't want people giving me a problem about his uncircumcised penis

who's going to give you a problem about it just family and stuff yeah oh family you let that in your house what's that?

You allow that in your house?

What?

An uncircumcised?

Yeah.

Ridiculous.

Yeah.

He'll never listen to you.

You're clipped.

Yeah.

He's never going to respect it.

Yeah, I know.

He's never going to respect it.

No, no, no.

I guess I'll have to get a prosthetic.

And Deb made you leave it.

No, it was my idea, but then she got really passionate about it.

Why?

She watched the YouTube documentary.

Mike, people died.

She went.

Six million people died because they had penises like yours.

You know that.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you should be proud of.

They went went to ovens, Mikey.

You know what I recently learned?

The whole Anne-Frank thing?

Yeah.

That was a whole other building.

Did you know that?

No.

It wasn't.

I thought it was like a room.

There was a bookshelf that they moved, and there was like a walkway that went to an entire

basically like a four-story brownstone that they had.

Okay.

It was just hidden in an oven.

Oh, you were like upset they didn't sleep in the same room and stuff?

I'm not upset.

I'm saying

not know that, yeah, it was like a whole other fucking building hidden behind the

when I read that book as a kid, I was like, how do all these motherfuckers live in a room?

Yeah,

and that's the answer.

It was a different building, so

it was like the top floor.

Yeah, imagine if we had a bookshelf right there and you slid it and then you could go into the alley and this was like a whole other fucking building.

And it's like,

I guess, like the Nazis probably weren't even really looking that hard because it was an entire building that they missed.

Why didn't they go through the front door of that other building?

Because it was in an alley.

So

you imagine there's like it's you know, like in between the block, there's another building.

But

yeah.

And it wasn't like they built it for that reason.

They just, there was always that walkway.

They just put a bookshelf in front of it.

Okay.

Yeah.

One day when we're rich, we're going to get a bookshelf where you pull one book and then it swings out and that's a secret room.

Oh, that's fun.

What do you think of being that secret room?

Just shit for guys.

Just cool stuff.

Yeah.

No girls.

That would be sick.

Fucking

technically international waters.

You could cheat on your wife in there.

Not that I.

I'm saying in our secret room when we're rich one day.

Not you can cheat.

I can cheat.

You can, yeah.

Yeah, and that'll show her.

Yeah.

Not to d

not to not to talk down to me in front of your mother.

Dude, it was.

I heard some other stuff about Anne Frank's diary.

I saw it on X.

Let's go.

Don't people say that her father wrote her diary?

She wasn't real.

The whole thing was fake.

People say that.

I've only been

asked me, don't people say that?

And I said, yes, that's what people say.

I don't understand where you're coming from.

Like, one day you're agreeing with Destiny.

Next day, you're telling me that the diary is fake, that Otto Frank wrote it.

I think he

edited some stuff that I would imagine that there was horny parts.

He didn't put the horny parts in it.

It was stuff like I think

she didn't didn't like his, like, he had like a girlfriend or something.

I don't know.

Something like that.

She talks shit on somebody, and I know that.

Oh, she had a stepmom.

Yeah, I don't know if she had a stepmom.

There was something like that.

I wonder if it was.

First of all, that guy's a psycho, right?

You take your kid's diary and

publish it after they were.

I don't know.

I thought it was

in a concentration camp.

Pretty inspirational.

Leave in all the parts of it.

His kid living.

All right, go ahead.

What?

I thought it was inspirational.

I don't think he was a psycho.

What did it inspire you to do?

Have you ever written a word in your life?

Poetry.

I mean,

what way were you inspired?

I've written song lyrics, poems,

sonnets, limericks.

No, it was inspired.

You know, as a kid,

yeah, I've written a poem or two every now and then.

Yeah, but not because of Anne Frank.

No.

No, but it inspired me to put pen to pad.

Like that girl in the Holocaust.

I think he did some editing.

Yeah.

It was like to his own benefit.

But he left the horny parts in.

Auto.

Or he added the horny parts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nice.

It's like I have to preserve the integrity of my no, I just remember it's hard to tell a kid about the Holocaust.

It was a very sad thing.

There was.

It's a nice way of telling a kid about the saddest thing.

The number one saddest thing that's ever happened to anyone.

The Nazi, like

SS guy, like the police guy, because they were ratted out.

That's how they got caught.

I thought they were like allergies.

No.

I thought they were like sneezing.

They got ratted out.

they were like,

the Nazis are like, it sounds like they're a bunch of Jews behind it.

No, they don't know who did it, but the suspects were like maybe one guy who was a Nazi sympathizer that worked in the warehouse.

But then also there was another, there was a different Jewish guy in the town that survived because he just told on everybody.

Uh-huh.

He had like ratted out like 125 families.

He just lived normally.

Yeah, yeah.

Really, they just had it apart.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah.

Sounds like it all.

And so they were like, it could have been that.

That's what the coffee is up there.

Yeah, right.

The Adam.

I wouldn't be that.

You would

one million people.

I would not be.

The Adam of Amsterdam.

Yeah, no, I would not be the fun movie.

No, but you would find a way to do it where you're like, I didn't tell.

I was just fucking.

I was just like, you know.

No, I would be a resistance fighter.

I'd be like, you know, people, somebody could be hiding in a building.

That's what I would do.

If I was going to hide, not that I have to.

I shouldn't say.

Not that I have to, because it's like,

you know, I'm not like these guys.

I would be a resistance.

I would be.

I would be where the Frank family's higher.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, so I had to accidentally and then tell everyone that I was tattled on it.

I didn't do it on purpose.

Everyone thought I did it on purpose.

I'm not it was Frank's down the street behind that bookshelf.

But the the ki the Nazi guy that went with like the Amsterdam police who's like, yeah, I'm on like finding Jew duty.

He went with and arrested all of them and took them off.

And uh then that guy like he just sort of changed his name and he was he he ended he stayed in Germany after the war and then he in the sixties he was like uh you know like a detective on like the

West German police department or something.

And then they found him.

Like, you know, like Nazi hunters found him.

And then he, like, he's like, his reaction was basically, from what you can tell, he's like, you know, when the story broke, he's like, yeah, I was like, I know that fucking girl.

You know, he's like, that's fucking, I arrested that fucking girl.

He wasn't like angry or anything.

He was just like, wow, small world, huh?

That's crazy.

And they asked him, and they're like, are you this guy?

He's like, yeah, that was me.

A lot of the Nazi hunters, they were, where were they from?

Transylvania.

What's that big guy?

What's his name?

Simon Wiesenthal?

Yeah, yeah.

The Wiesenthal Center for Drinking Pee Pee.

Okay.

No, it's not.

It's actually for hunting Nazis.

A lot of people say it's drinking People.

There's a different one for drinking Peep.

Oh, he had a second one.

Yeah.

I guess the world's a complicated place.

Yeah.

You got a new hat.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah.

Vegas.

But

why didn't you kill her?

Did you see that documentary, The Devil Next Door?

It was a whole thing about this guy who, I guess, worked at like Treblinka or something.

Is it like App Pupil, but it's a documentary?

Yeah, but it's like they put him on trial.

They made him go to Israel and stand trial because they thought he was this Nazi prison guard.

I want to see a movie where we find out Steven Seagal.

Like they find out he was a Nazi, but he was a cook.

Okay.

You know, at one of the camps.

He was a Cajun chef at one of the camps.

His file's empty.

And

he gets framed for being the guy that pulled the switch.

But he was just the cook.

He's like, I just made a gumball jumping high.

And they put him in prison.

Yeah.

And then from inside the prison he finds out that the actual Nazis are like planning a big, like, they're going to break out and do the Holocaust again.

Yeah.

And so he has to stop it from within the prison.

So he has to fight his way out.

Yeah, yeah.

He has to eventually get some internal war in fucking Spandau.

Yeah.

Including other inmates that had nothing to do with the Holocaust.

Yeah.

But he has to fight his way.

Nice.

Yeah.

Pretty good.

Yeah, I like that.

He's called Jew Boy

2.

J-E-W-B-O-I-2.

Steven Seagal.

What was the documentary, The Devil Next Door?

Yeah, and they put this guy on trial.

They bring him to Israel, and they have to find him a lawyer, and there's nobody who wants to be his lawyer, because they think he's like a Nazi.

So they find like the atom of lawyers in Israel.

Everyone deserves their day in court, even a Nazi.

That's a brave man.

I'll take that, the Adam of lawyers.

Yeah.

Yeah, they found this one guy who would, like, defend him.

But then it turned out that so he like said he wasn't a Nazi, but then it turned out that he he was.

He just wasn't this guy guy that they thought was the really bad one.

Yeah, they thought he was Hitler.

He was on trial.

He was Adolf Hitler.

I think Hitler was a black guy.

He's a 14-year-old black guy.

You got fraud.

14-year-old black guy.

Yeah.

I keep telling y'all.

I'm not Hitler.

I'm not Hitler.

Not Hitler.

Fox News is burying this.

Everyone thinks he's Hitler.

Yeah, Fox News is just burying him.

I'm 14 years old.

Adolf Hitler, who has been.

He was born in 1972.

Yeah, under the alias like Datavion Mitchell.

Who is clearly

attending Thomas Jefferson High School

in Cincinnati?

Yeah.

Living amongst us,

Adolf Hitler.

The Hitler next door.

The Hitler next door.

Judge Shanit Pirro.

Hitler lives next door to me.

I think that kid is Hitler.

We've blamed the Germans for too long.

Was it the blacks?

It could have been.

Look at the crime rates.

That lady is screening.

Is she still on TV?

My mom calls me like, did you hear that this kid is Hitler?

You've been calling himself the Tavion Mitchell.

That's crazy.

Do you have a friend that does comedy with you, Datavion Datavion Mitchell?

They're saying he's Hitler.

They're saying he's Hitler.

Datavion Mitchell.

There's nothing funny about the Holocaust I agree now.

Yeah.

What do you think about him?

I don't know.

I'm sleepy.

Sometimes I look at him and just smile to myself.

I'm like, what's on his mind?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know.

That's what lovers do.

I was thinking about buying a beanbag chair.

I imagine they're pretty good now,

but I don't have any room for it.

Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll give a little free advertising.

There's a little thing called a moon pod.

It's like a bean bag.

It's like a pod.

We have one at home.

Sometimes I just sit in that instead of my couch.

It goes on the floor.

You get to.

His old landlord had these fucking, these like

down-filled sheep, yeah, down-filled, like, sheepskin ottomans that were like amazing.

They're really cool.

Those were awesome.

It was your old landlord.

He just went to his house.

Yeah, yeah.

His name was

Chaim Nachman Bialik.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

He was a Chasid, yeah.

You just went to his house.

Yeah, I was sitting on his hat.

No, I lived my friend.

My friend.

I thought it was an Ottoman.

My friend Max

owned the building in Bedside where I lived.

Oh, okay.

And I was on the second floor.

Okay.

You went to that place.

Yeah.

He's a good guy.

He was great because he would come

into Adam's apartment and start shitting on Adam.

And then everyone would join in.

Yeah.

And it's like, I think that's illegal.

I don't think you can can rent to somebody an apartment and then just barge in unannounced.

Well, you certainly didn't say that it was illegal at the time when you were joining in on the movie.

Oh, you're pretending to watch a movie.

I just listened.

Let me guess.

I just listened to you.

Let me guess the criterion collection.

I'm trying to watch Janice films right now, brother.

I'm at work.

Yeah.

And I don't be like, what are you down here?

I'd be like, oh, I was just checking in.

He's got a key to the place.

Yeah, Nick and him were Kendra's fans.

Oh, yeah.

It was awesome.

Well, I'd come over and and then he'd barge in and then I'd,

amid that, I'd pull a pipe out and start blasting pipe tobacco in the apartment.

That was very obnoxious, I think.

Without asking.

That's like that.

When I realized that

when I was like, I could get a pipe and just bring it to Adam's house.

Yeah.

Smoke it inside.

You just start smoking it away.

Just light a match and just

fill it.

Did it stink up?

Filling the apartment with smoke?

Yeah, it did stink up the apartment.

Yeah.

Two weeks and shit

next week.

It smelled like fucking garbage.

Did you leave the pipe there?

Yeah, not even half.

So, yeah, the fucking cash tobacco would just be all over my living room table.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess it is fun to annoy people.

Oh, yeah.

I just don't have anyone I could annoy.

You get a cat and pet it backwards.

That's a big one.

Yeah, that's the first time Nick and I chilled, he did that to my cat.

Oh, okay.

He was drinking a Carlo Rossi out of the jug,

petting a cat backwards.

I guess I could annoy him.

I was like, this guy's a wild card.

I guess I could annoy my parents like Tom Green.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was always fun.

Yeah, like Bam Marchero, dude.

Yeah.

I might take a more Tom Green approach.

I liked when he made his dad's car, the slut mobile.

You ever see that episode?

No.

No.

He like airbrushed these women eating each other out on his dad's car, the slut mobile.

Remember, you got that statue of his dad beating his mom?

I think so.

And they put it on their front lawn.

That was really just made sixth grade for me.

Yeah, yeah.

And then his dad went to take the bus to work and he brought the slut mobile to the bus stop.

He's like, Dad, I brought you your slut mobile.

Dad!

He was like, Canadian?

Daddy!

Yeah.

So anyways, I rewatched Stir of Echoes in Frequency this weekend.

What's Stir of Echo?

Stir of Echoes is great.

I remember seeing it when it came out.

It came out right around the same time as Sixth Sense.

And Six Sense was also like a ghost movie.

So I think Stir of Echoes just kind of got overshadowed by Sixth Sense.

But Stir of Echoes is a lot of fun.

It's a good movie.

It's Kevin Bacon.

He's like

a telephone line man, I guess, in Chicago.

And he's got a wife and a young son, and the wife's sister is like, who's that?

There's that actress that's like anytime they need, she's in Cape Fear.

She plays the

like assistant or whatever that Nick Nulty's cheating on his wife with.

She's younger?

Yeah, I don't know.

But they're like, we need kind of a Jewish-looking lady, sort of.

Gina Gershon?

No.

Yeah, that's it.

I think.

Yeah, blonde rich?

No, she's not blonde.

If you look up Cape Fear, she plays the.

Do we still call women that word?

Yeah, I think so.

Trump won, dude.

Oh, all right, yeah.

She plays the paralegal or something that Nick Nulty has an affair with.

Like, Max Cady bites that hole in her face and rapes her.

No, that's Juliet Lewis's daughter.

No, that's the wife.

It was Elena Douglas.

Maybe.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elena Douglas is right.

Yeah.

She's like that bitch.

Yeah, kind of.

Yeah, she's that bitch.

Yeah, kind of, yeah.

She's got

a severe face.

Anyways.

I would confuse her with what's her name, Sternberger, when I was a kid all the time.

Howard.

Mary Sternberger.

Mary Sternberger.

Yeah, yeah.

I would confuse her with this lady.

I love her.

Anyways.

Elena Douglas.

So so she's plays the sister she's great who like she does like hypnosis so in the first movie the first scene they're having like a party he's like there's no way hypnosis is fucking real you know there's no way that's gonna work on me you know and she's like well why don't you just like let me try it so she hypnotizes him and then after she hypnotizes him he starts like he's hearing things and seeing things he starts seeing this dead girl and the son can talk to the dead girl and then you know i mean i spoil the movie but yeah it's just like he they're renting the house from his friend in the neighborhood who's a cop who bought like five houses.

And

his son and the son of one of the other friends murdered a girl and they like buried the bait body in the, in the house.

And so then he has to find the body.

That's it.

That's all that happens.

But

it's good.

And I remember Six Cents.

It's better than Sixth Sense.

Yeah.

I watched it on the plane of Vegas actually this weekend.

But it's funny because Six Sense is so straightforward with just one simple surprise twist at the end

that it takes a lot to make a good movie out of that.

And that's what makes the Sixth Sense great.

Yeah.

You know, I think it is a great, it's like a fantastic movie.

I watched it with my girlfriend, and the twist worked.

And she typically figures out twists.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's really smart.

She's really smart at movies.

Yeah, my brother went to see, and it was like ruined for me.

She loves just asking questions two minutes in when you don't even know what the plot is.

Right, right.

Because if you know there's a twist, you can usually figure out what the twist was.

Well, the interesting thing is she knew there was a twist.

I don't know if she knew what the twist was.

I don't know if she knew that there was a twist.

Oh, okay.

In Stir of Echoes,

the boy can also, like, he channels the girl's voice.

Like, they have the small boy, and the boy's sort of reserved or whatever.

And then...

You know, like,

there's a lot of stuff that, like, seems like it's like homage to the shining, I guess.

You know, like

the dad's going crazier and crazier, and, like, you know, the wife doesn't really know how to handle it.

But then also there's at one point they go for a walk through the like the cemetery, the mom and the boy.

And there's like an older black cop that like sees the boy and goes up to the boy.

He's like, he's got the eyes, don't he?

You know, like Scat, like fucking whatever the...

Scatman Crows.

Yeah, but his character in The Shining.

So I saw it and I thought, okay, this is obviously like some sort of like somebody liked The Shining and made the movie.

But the movie's based on a book.

And the book came out in 1958.

Oh.

So the Stephen King book

borrowed from this book.

The whole black guy trope shining.

Yeah, the shining came out as a movie first, but this movie is based on source material that Stephen King stole from.

So that's, yeah.

Oh!

Yeah, I think so.

Okay, guys, I want to talk to you about later.

Let me go back to the computer and look, but maybe, maybe in the future, I take the time to print these out, stay free.

They fell off the table, dude.

And hand them to to you.

You work hard, and I respect that, okay?

I'm not trying to mess anything up.

Remember earlier when you said Destiny, you thought he was made of money?

Yeah.

If someone's made of money, how much money could that possibly be?

$800 million.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

So $800, I could have done that.

$800 million in cash.

Yeah.

You're probably close to that, right?

Yeah.

Once you get the private,

I think.

And you're at that level now, right?

That's not nice.

You know, I struggle with money.

What are you talking about?

You text me.

You're like, do you want to get dinner in Tokyo?

I'm like, come on.

This is so ostentatious, but it's just the environment.

I do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, it's just dinner, Adam.

That's right.

All of your friends are Arab.

Right, right.

I just assume you're wrong.

Yeah, but they're the wrong kind.

You go to Dubai all to work on it.

They're the wrong kind.

You pick the wrong Arabs.

You pick the wrong Arabs.

You really pick the wrong Arab.

Okay, Lucy, 100% pure nicotine, always from Echo Friday.

Yeah.

So true from rags to

still rags, but also a Lamborghini story with those folks.

Rags to

rags to, well, we're keeping the rags, but

we're buying a solid gold Mercedes-S-Class.

Didn't they do like a deal with Roosevelt or something?

Everybody did deals with Roosevelt.

That was kind of insane.

Oh, okay.

Be like, you try to get me hard in this chair.

If you can get my opinion, if you can get me hard,

if you can suck me hard.

That's what he said.

You said that at Yalta.

We'll go to war with your enemies.

And only a few people could do it.

Lucy.

They could all do it.

Lucy, you Russian bastard.

If you get me up, we can get down.

Guys, Lucy Breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise.

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What's your favorite flavor, Dick?

The apple martini.

What's strength?

Do you use a million percent?

Is Was that in there?

Because you asked me that every single time.

It's talking points.

Yeah, but why do you ask me that?

You can't just say what your favorite flavor is.

My favorite flavor is

the Adam Friedland show, man.

They want you to endorse.

You're the face of the show.

It's your name.

Nobody knows who I am.

You make me feel safe.

I'm just a fucking guy.

I don't mind you.

I understand.

It's not fair to you.

I'm just a guy with PlayStation Portable.

Why emotional labor?

I'm just a guy with a portable PlayStation.

Yeah.

You remember going to the dentist?

dentist and asked you what kind of fluoride flavor you wanted?

As a kid?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why do they do that?

I'm like creamsicle.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember as a kid, I would go to the dentist and then afterwards I'm like, yeah, you get a lollipop at the end and then at the end you don't.

And I'm like, oh, right, that's the bank.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you ever do that?

I remember I would go to the bank with my grandma and they had, you know, the

pneumatic tube.

Oh, the coolest tube.

And they put the lollipop in there.

They put a lollipop in there.

Yeah, if they saw a kid.

Yeah.

I like to throw my Lucy after making love, actually.

Back in the day, you'd have a cigarette in bed.

But in Stalinist Russia, my apartment,

I have to do a Lucy.

Why do you call your apartment Stalinist Russia?

Someone.

Because I have a strong leader.

Have you had sex recently?

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah.

It's awesome.

Yeah.

Did you wipe after?

Okay.

You probably should.

No, I

said I love you and

came so fast.

Nice.

No, I didn't actually.

I lasted a good while.

About 11 minutes.

Which is long.

11?

11 minutes is long.

That's long.

Because I beat off.

I beat off earlier that day.

Oh, you did?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I didn't know I was going to have sex.

In my mind, I was like, oh, I beat off.

And so I'm like, I'm going to be like a a porn actor.

I'm going to go forever.

11 minutes.

Yeah.

And then, yeah, it was amazing.

She was like, that was the best I've ever

had with a white guy.

They always got to throw that in there, don't they?

Why do they have to say that?

Why do they have to bring race into it?

Yeah, why are you fucking racist?

She's like, you know, I fucked Hitler.

Well, they were saying it was a single thing.

We were seeing

songs like our grandma's like.

like,

I just remember

it was like,

like, when you're happy birthday, like, when you're with your sweetheart, President Hitler.

What was that?

When were we doing that?

I don't remember.

Sweetheart, lover, President Hitler.

It's not ringing a bell.

I forgot what that was.

That was great.

I remembered it the other day.

It was going to be good.

Guys, let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy.

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Warning, this product contains nicotine.

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And this shit is good.

They sent us a bunch of it and we used all of it.

Yeah, yeah.

We're getting geeked off Lucy heavy.

And so what's that car?

Are they called

him?

No, they had three different products.

There's a gum, there's the pouch, and then there's also the pouch with a breaker in it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So what's that call to action again?

That's lucy.co slash t-a-f-s.

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And we're back.

And we're back.

I'd also like to mention

just Ridge hooked it up this fall for me.

And they got a lot of stuff now.

It's crazy how far they've come.

Are they sending nice stuff?

They're sending some nice stuff?

They sent me a bunch of shit.

Because I know them and I'm friends with them and I respond to the ads and I built these relationships over years and you ignore everybody and activate it.

I've never gotten an email from them specifically.

Could you imagine?

You get a picture of it.

I used that backpack.

Look at the backpack.

I've used it for six years now.

What's the guy at Ridge's name?

Ridge?

Yeah, what's his name even?

Ridge Penis.

Yeah, right.

Ridge Penis.

There's a father and son.

Anyways, they hooked it up, but they said they got a lot of nice shit, though.

Ridge.

Yeah.

What'd you get?

Well,

all the luggage.

They sent me all the luggage, so I upgraded my luggage.

And the luggage, because I had a Samsonite

carry-on, which that's nice.

Yeah.

And their carry-on came and it was smaller, and I'm like, uh-oh.

But then I packed it up.

I had to go to do a weekend.

Yeah.

And I packed it up.

Literally,

I've never had the exact right amount of.

It fits everything I need perfectly.

There's a space for everything.

It comes with a toiletry.

Well, it doesn't.

I bought the toilets.

Well, they gave it to me.

You got space for your shoes?

Extra pair of shoes?

Yeah, and with a bag for them.

It comes with a shoe bag.

Do you get any extra anything?

No, I'm not getting you anything.

I told them, can I have these things?

Well, you're greedy.

And they said, you're a greedy guy.

Why don't you fucking email them and ask?

You're a greedy.

No, I have people that I can get.

Because I like to work out when I'm on the road.

Yeah.

Well, there's a laundry.

They got an extra pair of shoes.

They got a laundry bag in there.

They got a toiletry kit.

It's perfect, fits all my stuff.

I have it to go to my kitchen and get a plastic bag, like some kind of animal.

No, yeah.

No.

What I do is I buy the little toothpaste and the pics and all the shit, and then I fill the toiletry bag with that, and then it doesn't come out.

So that stays in the carry-on.

Oh, okay.

Because I travel so frequently that it's like, well, I always need that.

You could just live there.

Well, my other shit, like my toothpaste for at home, stays separate.

I don't, you know, it just, but there's that one.

They sent me the big luggage,

which I don't, I haven't gone on a big trip yet, but I imagine that's going to be awesome.

You've never got a trip.

You don't even

have a trip.

You don't

go on a trip.

They sent me the new.

I got

vacation.

They did a new color.

I got an orange.

I swapped out as, you know, I had the gold.

That's my favorite color.

I know it's my favorite color, too.

I got a Yeti thermos in that color, which is why I did it.

But they sent me that one, and then I got the keys.

They come,

they have special ridge keys that you can get cut.

So now all my keys are ridge-branded keys.

They're ultra-lightweight keys.

They They go with that.

They got air tag holders, which are on average.

Yeah.

They got air tag holders.

All my shit is air tagged up.

So why do you have another set of keys, though?

This is for the office.

Okay.

So I keep my keys separate because I have like four different locations I go to, but I don't, you know, it's like I don't want one giant keychain.

This is a risky move, though, because

I don't know if you would think people would want this, but it's nice.

All the keys are together.

What do you mean you don't think?

Why is it?

Like it's kind of big.

That?

Yeah, it's kind of bigger than the key range.

Yeah, but you can like a jingle-jangle in your pocket?

No, I don't.

You can fit six keys in here, and then this is this is an air tag that I put on there.

The one thing I would like is if they had a more elegant solution for the air tag, but I don't see where you could attach it to this thing that it wouldn't be dangling like that.

Right.

And then I would imagine people do this.

You put all your keys on here, and then you attach like a key fob for your car, but I keep my car keys separate also.

Yeah.

Because I don't, you know, I mean, I live in New York.

I drive the car like once every week and a half.

So I just have my house keys when I leave the house.

If I'm going to the the office, I bring the office keys, et cetera, et cetera.

So what else did they send me?

Let's see.

All right.

I got, yeah, the luggage.

There's an orange backpack that's also in this collar that is sold out completely.

But I got a secret.

They had a couple left in the wholesale department.

So I got one of those, but they totally hooked it up.

They make coolers?

Huh?

They make coolers.

They don't make coolers.

Okay.

Sounds good.

Yeah.

So

you go to Yeti for the

Yeti guy.

You're familiar.

This is very similar.

You got it to match his Yeti bar.

Very similar to King Crab Orange.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

King Crab Orange, they retired it, but they brought it back.

They brought it back for the flagship store.

Thank God.

So if you're some cocksucking idiot that lives out in fucking Montana with his GI bill money,

you're on the Yeti suburb.

I'm going to King Crab Orange.

You're going to Marshalls, looking for King Crab Crab Orange.

Me as a coastal elite, I just stroll into the store

any side, any fucking flags.

Where's the Yeti flagship?

Are you sure?

I feel like I've seen King Crab Orange, not to challenge you or anything, but I've seen it in Jersey.

Yeah, there's some.

Other lives.

You could go on 23rd Street and they have everything.

They did for a while.

They had that in the blue, whatever the blue one is.

Yeah.

The gay blue.

I don't like that one.

No, like the lighter blue.

Yeah, right.

That

baby, like cop blue.

A lot of adults like that color.

Anyways, I don't even know why he's talking right now.

He just knows nothing about Yeti.

I bought him two Yeti thermoses.

He lost them.

No, he lost both of them.

Really?

Yeah, he's a fucking asshole.

They are kind of easy to lose.

Deb lost my King Crab Orange.

Yeah, but she's a woman.

She's her wife, also.

She lost the King Crab Orange.

Well, she put it like in the building lobby.

She put it in their building lobby.

God.

Yeah, I know.

I try not to complain about her, but sometimes I have to.

That's unforgivable.

I guess I'll get another one.

Wife?

Yeah.

Yeah, I would.

I would.

If my wife was.

Wait a minute.

Can I I just say something?

I don't have a wife, by the way.

I have a PlayStation.

Can we talk about that, though?

Yeah, sure.

Why do wives and girlfriends just throw your nice shit?

They either lose your nice shirt or they throw it out.

And then, God forbid, you accidentally

move one of their...

They're like,

my toner fell over.

And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck.

A fluid?

Yeah, yeah.

Your nice fluid?

You have a million fucking fluids.

And one of them got fucking knocked over while I was trying to reach my one item in the medicine cabinet that I have.

Dude, I had a lid.

My electric razor that you've also taken and dulled the blade out on your fucking stupid pussy.

And now,

and I've knocked over one of your fluids, and we're hearing about that, even though you've destroyed all of the code.

So many times did I go?

You've destroyed the vacuum cleaner.

You've broken all of the PlayStation is broke.

You've destroyed the switch.

You jammed

your fucking switch control.

I want to know how it goes in.

I guess I'll break it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Great.

Great.

Awesome.

Yeah.

and then you go, hey, where's the wire to my beard trimmer to charge the beard trimmer?

I don't know.

Yeah, I cut it in half.

I ripped it out of the wall and cut it in half.

I gave it to the homeless guy downstairs.

Yeah, awful.

I can't believe it.

Anyway, so what else did we do?

We were just talking about half.

Yeah.

I got some of the smaller accoutrements.

The keys are.

No, when you have like a wife or a girlfriend, you can't have any nice stuff.

Yeah.

Because they throw it in the garbage or they don't.

They put it on by nice stuff.

Well, Adam's like a girl that he's not a nice stuff guy.

He breaks all the shit, too.

Oh, if he gets something, he breaks it or he loses it.

It's not true.

Because I'm sure you're like me, you probably only have a handful of nice stuff.

You guys are so good.

I would say I have more nice stuff than you do.

You probably have more nice stuff than me, sure.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm going to say that.

I got a couple nice things.

My parents got me invited, but

my parents guilted Nick's mom into letting me go to sleep over it.

Anyways,

they gave me, there's some stuff I got that I don't really know to use for they have the Everyday Carry tray, which seems mostly it's for lining up all your stuff to take a picture of it to post on the Everyday Carry Reddit.

Yes, that's it's a tray that's a cross you put on your nightstand and it's like your phone goes here

and your knife goes here.

Okay, yeah, so that one's a funny one, but

yeah, they did hook it up.

The luggage is very nice, and I'm very excited for that backpack, which I don't know when that's arriving.

I can't wait for that.

Oh, that's the orange backpack's on the way.

Nice.

Orange backpack on the way.

I guess we've got a lot of people.

And I got complimented

by a TSA lady.

She was like, look at you.

You're matching.

Good for you.

I was like, thank you.

That's good.

Usually they just scream at you.

I think for whatever, something happened.

After I turned 30, I think a lot of people out in the world that I encounter think I'm retarded.

And I'm not kidding.

And I don't know what it is, but like people treat me like I'm mentally disabled or something.

They're very sweet to me.

Yeah.

Well, that's good.

Yeah.

I bought a big head of kale yesterday.

I didn't get a bag.

I was carrying it home, and I was just, I felt like I was going to drop it on the street.

You know?

Because

I'm always dropping stuff.

So you need luggage to KG.

Maybe.

Did they give him a suitcase for that?

Do they make tote bags, Ridge?

I don't know if they make tote bags, Rich.

Like a tote bag that's five.

Mike,

you're going to retire your A24 tote bag?

I guess, yeah.

I thought you want people to know you like movies.

Right, that's that's true.

Yeah, your new New Yorker tote bag A24 hat.

That's the Park Slope Food Co-op

uniform.

Yeah.

I don't really get to.

Have you been there?

No, have you?

Yeah.

I heard you have to, but you have to work there.

That's why.

Yeah, I signed up and then I did

work there.

Yeah.

Where?

The Park Slub Food Co-op.

I got fired.

You have to work like one day a week.

Food co-ops have always seemed like a dumb idea to me.

I remember I've been to a couple,

because you can, all the ones I've been to, you can buy food there.

You just get like a discount if you're a co-op member.

Yeah.

And then the food sucks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And what, you have to bring in food or something?

Blake, you know, Blake, you ever meet Blake Midget?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So Blake, I remember he got like, he's like, yeah, I joined a farm co-op, dude.

They just,

he's like, they send you produce like from the farm.

And then literally, I mean, they're sending this motherfucker.

It's just like a cardboard box filled with dirt and weeds.

And I'm like, like, he's like, sweet, I'm having rhubarb for dinner.

It's like, I would prefer I, you know, who the fuck is eating just vegetables?

Rhubarb is actually disgusting.

Unless you put it

aspect of it, you contribute to it.

Yeah, you pay money.

It's a subscription.

It's cheaper to get the food, but you got to work there.

Everyone is an owner.

You pay an annual fee, and then you have to work for these bastards

after they lost us the election.

Yeah.

After these white bitches.

I'm sorry about the B-word so much on the show this week.

Then why do you keep saying it?

You keep saying stuff and being like, oh.

Because sometimes I get a little too hot.

Mr.

Bashful.

The bashful basher.

Bashful is a nice.

That's what they call it.

If you were a Dickens character, you would be the bashful basher.

The bashful miser.

Yeah.

What's your what?

Have you been reading any books recently?

I read a little bit of The Powerbroker.

I'm about 400 pages in, but I haven't read in a couple of years.

It's crazy that that's a little bit with that book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'm, you know, working through the the print is so small on that book.

Yeah, it's rude.

I hate it.

I mean, it takes like, it takes like 30 minutes to read like 10 pages.

Yeah, I think I probably would never have read it if I didn't have a Kindle also.

Okay.

Because I would switch back and forth.

The nice thing about a Kindle.

It is a lot though.

You can spend eight hours reading it in a Kindle and you can, in your head, be like, oh, I read like a million pages.

yeah, yeah.

And then you look at the book and see how much you actually read, and it's like, I read five pages, yeah.

So it's nice.

You didn't even get to see what happened to the giving tree at the end.

Did they cut that out of the Kindle version?

Well, yeah, because you're reading like children's books.

Oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah.

But yeah,

but yeah, it's good.

You know, it's nice thinking about the highways.

You don't think about how somebody had to build all that stuff, yeah, well, and somebody had to design it and

bulldoze all the black people's houses.

A lot of no-show contracts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

We made a lot of money.

But in that book, whatever they talk about black people, they're including Italians in that.

You know that, right?

No.

Yeah, because it's all in the 30s and 40s.

Okay.

Oh, Mike.

I went to the Mafia Museum in Vegas.

Oh, how was that?

It was awesome.

Really?

Yeah, it was so cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They had the wooden gun that John Dillinger got out of jail with.

They had the wall from the St.

Valentine's Day massacre that they like they.

I told a big story about going to Alcatraz on the podcast recently.

Yeah.

So he was like really jealous.

So he went to the

who the guest was like going to Alcatraz.

I talked about it for 20 minutes and he was like I went as a kid and I was like really what do you remember from that?

He's like oh I got a cup.

Okay so we have to hear your story I remember I was like I just went and I remember everything.

Yeah, I guess we'll hear your story for you.

That's a good point Nick you went way after I passed away and so yeah you copied the story and now he's like oh well I know I have to have a museum trend not last time time.

He went to a museum.

It was a disaster.

He went to the African American History Museum.

No, that's not true.

I watched the show.

No, you weren't even there.

Yeah, it's disgusting.

It's disparage, yeah.

And he's like, they had Obama in there.

It's like, yeah, he was the first black president.

The first black president.

Why would they not be in there?

And what did he do that was wrong?

Yeah, right, exactly.

Why did I laugh at Obama?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so he's just being a dickhead.

And then I said, I went to Alcras.

He doesn't know how to be sincere.

No, that's bullshit, dude.

And so now he's like, I had a very powerful experience with the African American History.

I'll I'll go to the mosque.

I don't want to be like a cool lash.

He's from Las Vegas, by the way.

So that was always available to him.

No, it's not.

No, it's a newer music.

He could have always have done this, but it's only after I go to Alcatraz.

He goes home.

He's like, oh, he's humiliated by

Alcatraz.

I'd already been to the business.

Yeah, exactly.

And he got nothing out of it.

I spent $300 in the gift shop.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't have money because he has fucking nothing.

And I wanted a t-shirt.

I actually wanted the shirt that you bought.

He's at home crying.

he's like my dad got me a t-shirt called the adoption of the show as best hall and it was people

people only tune in to hear about the museums nick goes to and then his fucking family has to take him to the i didn't know museums were your thing

just crying so they have to take him to the mafia museum and now we're gonna get and go and let's hear the story

i just

I learned a lot about what our people, you know, had to do.

They had to fight their way out of those neighborhoods.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do like a good museum.

The transit is

funny.

A lot of that Italian mafia was in like East New York.

Yeah.

And it's like, what the fuck were these guinea's doing all the way out there?

Well, that's where Gaudi was, right?

He was

in East New York, and it's like the giniest place,

the airport.

Well, Howard Beach is at least like, you know, it's kind of suburban.

East New York is like, you know, it's like tire shops and an audio installation.

But that was before we made it.

Yeah.

You know, to be where we are today.

Which is what?

Queens?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Long Island.

Brooklyn Heights.

That is weird that you live in the Hillary Clinton neighborhood.

We both do.

How nice is it?

It's nice.

You don't live in Brooklyn.

You do not live in Brooklyn.

It's nice.

It lives in the farmer's market.

You live in Fort Green.

Yeah, my neighbor is a little nicer than yours.

Yeah, Brooklyn Heights is definitely.

I don't even fucking care.

Why are trying to lump yourself in with your own?

Yeah,

I also live in Brooklyn.

I fucking live.

I'm saying that.

No, not in Brooklyn.

This is what I mean.

It's like I can't even go to Alcatraz, and then this motherfucker's like, oh, he's always.

I went to one of them.

I was trying to piggyback off the neighborhood.

Always, always.

I can't even believe that.

I live in a better neighborhood.

I live in a nicer neighborhood than you believe.

Yeah, I live in Brooklyn.

Not even close.

Yeah, right.

It's literally not even close.

I didn't say I lived in Brooklyn Heights.

It's on the other side of a full other neighborhood.

I said, I live in a white woman neighborhood.

You have to go through a 20-minute walk.

You have to go through downtown Brooklyn to get the Brooklyn Heights.

Brooklyn Heights is the nicest part of Brooklyn.

Mike lives there.

I'm proud of him.

Why can't we just be happy for Mike?

He moved like five blocks from bedside just so he can be like, oh, I'm not in bedside.

It's not five blocks.

It's more.

If you include Clinton Hill as a separate neighborhood, Nick is just constantly gentrifying, throwing down cardboards, doing breakdancing competitions against the neighbors, doesn't know his fucking place.

I own an airbrush t-shirt.

You're still in bedstead.

Yeah.

I'm cleaning it up.

Nice.

Literally, I go around, I pick up garbage.

That's good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're like, everyone, everyone's disgusting.

Yeah.

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You know what's crazy?

Everybody's like hard self-regulated.

You know who Bernie Goetz is?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I watched his interrogation footage.

Okay.

And he has the same exact mannerisms as Adam.

Really?

He's sitting there.

He's like, why shouldn't I shoot him?

Why shouldn't?

It's the same to shoot him, isn't it?

Like,

I had my keys.

I wanted to cut his eyes out with my keys.

You're talking about the commissioner?

Bernard?

No, he was this guy who

shot.

He was a vigilante in the 80s.

He went on the train.

There have been a bunch of robberies on the train.

Who am I thinking of?

I don't know.

The commissioner during 9-11 who then ended up going to jail.

The bald guy.

Isn't that Bernie Goetz?

Bratton or Bragg?

Bernard something.

I don't remember.

Anyways, Bernie Goetz was a guy that went on the train.

He tried to get a gun, and this was back before, I guess, what was that, that case Bruin, where they used to have to, if you wanted a gun in New York, you had to explain why you want a gun, and then the police department would be like, that's not a good enough reason.

Yep, and uh, so he got denied a gun, so he bought a gun down in Florida, so he had a little just like me,

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No, I got back into that case because that Daniel Penny guy is,

I guess, the trial.

I think the jury deliberations started already.

I haven't checked in.

He could be the sentencing could have already let me just say

what is it called when the jury reads the verdict?

The sentence.

The verdict.

It's the verdict.

What doesn't the deliberate?

What is the verb?

Yeah, the judge does the sentence, but

is it what's the verb for when the jury, when they make a decision?

Not deliberating.

The pre-verdict.

The deliberating is the process of it happening.

What's the verb for

announcing the verdict?

The distinguished.

They delivered.

So the delivery may have happened.

That doesn't make any sense.

I got a lost one.

I actually was going to.

I would have known all that.

Can you imagine if I got people death row and stuff?

You wouldn't have passed the bar.

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I would have been a lawyer.

I would have been a lawyer.

You know, I would have been a fucking.

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Yeah, exactly.

Why don't we just go down the list of things we would have

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How easy is it to start your own company?

Very easy.

You just pay $200.

Yeah.

What do you want to do?

What's your idea?

I don't know.

I mean, I've never used, I've never had the proper paperwork of anything I've ever done.

I've been at the moment the other day where I was like, could I just start a software company and be the guy that's like, what if we had an app that did this?

And

I just find some guy that knows how to do computer programming and he does all the work, but then I'm like the salesman.

But then I would have to outsource that also.

So I would bring nothing to the table.

But

I could probably do it.

I could probably do that.

Steve Jobs knew how to use computers.

But he didn't make the computers.

He was like, yes, he did.

He built the first iPhone in his garage, basically.

No, he did.

Hey, speaking of sales, have you been in a PC Richards lately?

Somewhat recently, yeah.

Because I think those guys work on commission.

They do, but they're all like they get paid in like Turkish money.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, it's not, yeah, they get the candies and different bejeweled pots and pans.

Oh, yeah.

Wares.

That's what they get paid in.

Okay.

I didn't realize that.

Textiles, stuff like that.

Are they like a Turkish company?

No, I just feel like anytime I've been in a PC Richards, it's in like one of those parts of town that's like, you know.

Yeah.

Like it's a little

like little Zazaka stand.

And you're like, this is a

is this bigger than the actual country?

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know what the fuck type of person this is.

Right.

Yeah.

You're like, who the fuck is it?

Who the fuck is this?

Who buys a TV from a salesman?

Yeah, right.

No, because there's one on Atlantic Avenue that I went to, and it was like very all the sales guys were like calm.

I thought that closed during COVID.

Maybe I'm thinking of the Motel Motels closed.

Yeah.

Motels closed.

I was already saying now all the Motels closed.

Yeah, I know.

That was a great place to get Models was great.

It's a pussy.

To get some pussy, yeah.

I would say, Deb, let me go inside Model's.

I'm just getting Jets socks.

Yeah.

You fucking bitch.

How could I possibly get some pussy at Motels?

I'm getting New York Jets socks.

I got a secret door in the back.

And they said, when you're here, you're getting pussy.

Yeah.

I got got it.

I love Hodells.

It's a great place to buy the classic Gatorade water bottle.

Yeah.

That's like five bucks.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the one.

The green one.

The win the game.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hand warmers.

It's winter.

You need a pair of hand warmers real quick.

It's a nice thing.

Whatever you want, you can get it at any price.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

I was telling you, I want to get my kid one of those retro gaming sticks that you can play like Sonic on.

And they have like 20,000 games, and it's like $50.

Yeah.

And what do you buy it on?

Like Etsy, Amazon?

Yeah, like TikTok Shop or something.

Yeah, because I think all that is is somebody just put a.

You could probably do it yourself cheaper.

That's what you're saying.

You could figure that out.

I know, but how much cheaper?

It's $50.

Your son is three.

He doesn't need 20,000 games.

Right, but you want me to figure out how to put 10 games on two games.

You're going to do something.

Yeah, something.

Save the money for a game.

I wouldn't even know how to use a Super Nintendo controller.

Yeah.

Mike, spend the $50, tell your son you made it yourself.

Right.

Yeah.

Just lie.

Do you think Ben would like that stuff?

How do you?

Yeah, he likes video games.

But old shit like that?

Yeah, we were playing Street Fighter a couple days ago.

I wonder if it

was complete shit to them.

I don't know.

Yeah, he likes Sonic and he likes Street Fighter.

That's cool.

Maybe I'll do that.

Maybe that'll be my

Ebenezer Scrooge gift to you and your family.

Yeah.

What?

I'll come over and I'm like, I build a

home theater PC that has all the games on it for your son.

Honestly, if you learned the true meaning of Christmas, I think it would make a world of difference in your life.

Don't look at me that way.

Don't.

What is this?

Go ahead.

What are you going to do?

You guys could get less.

You're telling me about Christmas?

Like, I don't know what fucking Christmas is about.

Yeah, you don't, actually.

You don't appreciate it.

I was trying to share a heartwarming story about how shitty Hanukkah is and how blessed I feel to have been, to have Christmas.

What is the truth?

I guess the meaning to him is me, me, me, me.

No, no, no, no, no.

I have, listen to all of you.

You said, oh, poor you, you were so poor.

Your family is

apartheid or some crap.

You besmirch my family.

The true story of Christmas is me and

the story.

It's not the story.

It's the meaning of Christmas.

Presents.

That is literally.

It's better to give than to receive.

There were so many.

Then you didn't give me a teacher.

It is better to give thanks.

You're talking about how bad Hanukkah was because you only got checks and then you did Christmas and you get to wake up to presents.

It's still

presents as an adult and the hubris.

Presents.

I don't understand.

All I've said about Christmas

is that I'm going to build something for his son.

I am a millionaire one and a half times over.

I could buy fucking anything I wanted for

nephew of the show.

But you're going to do a couple of things.

I will build something.

It's not cheap.

No, it's not cheap.

It requires my time.

You're making a coupon book.

I charge thousands of dollars now.

One-free free massage.

Do you ever do that for your mom?

The coupon book?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One free foot rub.

One free kiss of the lip.

You never used them, yeah.

Yeah, Adam's coupon book with foot rub, foot kiss.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was making that joke.

Foot tribute.

I was closer to my mother.

Mike understands.

Of course.

Because we're Paisan.

I told you that time.

I was on the train one time, and there was an Italian guy who was like,

one of those Italian guys that probably gets his haircut every four hours.

You know, it's just like immaculate, you know, like haircut.

Yeah, the part's right and the fade's perfect.

And then he's wearing like a designer white T-shirt.

And you could see a nipple piercings and you could see it through the shirt.

I thought that was funny.

But then he had a very nice, like, a mural on his arm.

like tattooed and the bottom it was frank sinatra and on top it was a woman surrounded by roses that that kind of went into the Frank Sinatra.

And I'm like, looking at it, I don't recognize the lady or whatever.

And then there's a girl on the train next to me that looks at him.

She goes, is that your mom?

And he goes, it is.

Oh, yeah.

He got Frank Sinatra singing to his mom.

Yeah, well, I guess that Sinatra.

They're separate.

He's not really singing to him.

Maybe he was.

Oh, okay.

But it was like, yeah, too.

But there's a way he was like, it is.

It was like a young woman?

Yeah, it was like, yeah.

Yeah.

Like an old photo or something.

I guess you can get whatever you want tattooed

on your.

Well, that doesn't seem like a thing they would say no to.

But like, I want to get my mom tattooed.

They're like, no.

Come on.

We do gestures and skulls.

And swastikas.

Right.

But you can get any scenario on your arm.

Yeah.

Like, maybe your mom would have liked to meet Frank Sinatra.

My friend

became a teacher after college, like, to teach for America in Baltimore.

And she said she had a parent-teacher content.

I thought Teacher for America send you to other countries.

No, no.

It's like they send you to

low

low English

stand and deliver.

They send like white kids in for two years and then like to say goodbye.

But

she said she was doing a parent-teacher conference and the mom had a massive tattoo on her tip.

There's a new Wallace and Grommet movie coming out.

I just remember that

her legs open.

With a panel.

What date is it be?

Nah.

I swear to God.

December 17.

The new Wallace and Grommet movie is coming out.

That's what I've been trying to remember this whole time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we're definitely excited about that.

You've got to take Ben.

Yeah, we've watched The Little Wallace and Grommet.

It seems

it's good, yeah.

Yeah.

Is it good, though, or it's not boring?

Amazing.

Pete, you don't have to suck up so much.

He's not all sucking up.

Me and Pete's all similar interests.

It's fine.

It's fine.

We finally got some guy around here.

No, I just felt like it was.

We watched The Little Wallace and Grommet.

I thought it was kind of slow.

What's that?

I thought it was kind of slow.

It's 11 minutes long.

Yeah, but

he's like building a rocket in his basement.

Yeah, that's the most famous one.

Is it?

I think so.

What's wrong?

Pancreatic cancer.

I hope not.

Certainly hope not.

You'd be shit out of luck.

What do you talk about?

I already have.

I said this before.

Oh, man.

Imagine Nick's got like three months to get it.

You have to record like seven.

I already have the

calling me trying to get me to do that.

I'm like, no, I'm going to fucking travel.

No, no, no, no.

Do you think I'm going to try to milk podcasting out of it?

I have the book done.

What would you do, though, if he got pancreatic cancer?

I have the book written

about Nick Mullen already done in the event of his death, where he's like, the ending is like, and you're the greatest man I've ever known, Adam.

And this is the true meaning of friendship and Christmas.

So when Nick dies, you're going to sell a book about him?

I'm going to sell a book about him.

Yeah.

It's going to be called Nick's Diary.

And it was found.

The diary

was real.

He put some horny stuff in it.

Yeah, yeah.

He adds horny stuff in the morning.

The worst part was it.

Yeah, it was real.

I have seen those complaints from

Holocaust deniers where they say the book's fake.

And

one of the arguments is that the book is too well written.

Yeah.

And it's, well, it's like, that's got to be the dumbest argument because it's like, what, you think a 13-year-old can write well?

And it's like, well, maybe one of them can.

And it's not like they just picked it up.

That's why it was famous.

That's why it got published.

Yeah, right.

Because he was good at writing.

There were a lot of diaries.

It's not like like it was just like some.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, there's got to be a lot of other people that were like, the Holocaust sucked today.

I went to see Frank.

Frank pissed me off.

God, I fucking hate him.

But I don't know.

He's my friend anyways.

I hope we get a dog.

That's like probably 99% of them.

Auschwitz is boring as fuck.

The food sucks.

But did she write the diary when she was in the camp?

Just in the house?

No, it was just in the house.

And then she got, she died in Auschwitz.

I think the family went to Auschwitz, and then she was transferred to

a different one and then she got like one of those Oregon trail diseases.

Okay, but now then her dad got out and had the diary.

Where did he get the diary?

The dad was the only one in the family that

was in the house.

Oh, okay.

So he went back to the house.

Yeah, they didn't take anything when they arrested him.

They were just like, all right, got it.

You're going to the camps.

Yeah.

Very sad.

Imagine my family gets killed in the Holocaust, like an Italian Holocaust.

It is crazy when you go back to my apartment.

when you think about it because you know that too.

It's like they didn't, they wouldn't have done the death camps if they hadn't been losing the war.

That's the saddest part about the Holocaust.

Yeah, is that they did the final solution.

The final solution happened.

Germany was losing the war.

And they're like, we have all these prisoners and we don't know what to do with them.

And then somebody was like, let's just kill them.

Yeah.

Because we can't release them into Russia because then they're just going to hand them guns and they're going to come, you know.

So they were like, oh, we'll just exterminate all of them.

It was like, if we lose, we may as well just kill all of them.

But at the same time, the United States had to be able to do that.

But if they won, they wouldn't have done that.

We were locking up Japanese people and putting them in fucking.

But we would have killed all the Japanese people.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

They lived.

They lived.

If we had been losing the war, they're like, we've got to do something with these Japanese people.

Is that true?

They didn't set out to exterminate them.

I think they just wanted them out of the country initially.

They just wanted to expel all of them and have

ghettos at first, and then they sent them to forced labor camps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they and then they enacted the final solution.

Do you think that was good for them to learn how to do manual labor?

The Jews?

Yeah, learning how to work a real job.

I think that actually back in those days, if you're from a shit place, you probably had to have a cow and do some shit.

Right.

They weren't all fancy pants.

No, yeah.

I guess German Jews probably were, but like the r my boys, the Russians, were just like, we were white trash.

Yeah.

We probably had a f fat wife that was mad at us and shit.

Like,

yeah.

The cow is sick.

It was like, you fucking,

I'm going to the synagogue.

Yeah.

I hope the Cossacks come and chop your head off.

So I didn't know that.

They weren't trying to exterminate.

No, they didn't do it until...

When was it?

The Wanasi Conference?

Isn't that what it's called?

Can I have the vape, please?

It was after they lost in Russia, I think, right?

Yeah, there was a conference they did where all the minutes are for and they're like what should we do and that's where they came up with the they said let's just mass exterminate them with like you know gas chambers or whatever

yeah

yeah yeah yeah but prior to that they were just trying not to they were just prisons they said they weren't trying not to but they were like you know we may as well shot clock in the same way that they're not trying to kill everyone in Gaza yeah it's like we would like it if you left on your own we're gonna continue bombing you and putting you in you know just extra judicial you know prisons and we'll rape you in there and you know like that's more like the warsaw ghetto than auschwitz but that's what i mean but they do have i mean they have prison camps that they're they take people to in israel yeah yeah yeah so they abduct people and take them to those prisons and then there are a ton of and now when they put someone in a ghetto Do those ghettos already breakdancing, graffiti when they put someone in a ghetto.

I think they read a NBC.

Was that already a predominantly Jewish neighborhood and they just walled it off?

They like

already a ghetto.

They like making

walls.

Well, they did to the extent that they put walls around it and you couldn't go in or out, so then resources aren't going in.

The saddest thing.

And then, if they had like, you know, money or whatever, they'd go in and just take all the money.

So they were living in this walled-off enclosure with no resources.

Poland was the highest Jewish population in the world, and they all fucking died.

It was like 90%.

Wow.

They got wiped.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw the PM.

And how much of that is because they were Polish?

You know what I mean?

No, yeah, well, I mean, they were also Polish people Poles.

Well, no, no, but the Poles were very like, they were like,

get there at.

I mean, the Poles were like,

were kind of a little bit unfazed, let's just say, or maybe a little stoked about

them rounding up the Jews.

They were like, it's our time.

Those guys, the Azov battalion in Ukraine, they were also like Nazi collaborators during the war as well.

And they're still around.

That's interesting.

Well, yeah, now we're giving them

straps.

They must be like 120 years old.

Right.

That's interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's crazy that they're doing so well in Ukraine.

Well, it keeps you young being a Nazi.

Yeah,

it keeps you young.

Anyway, Pete, we have to get.

There is.

Where?

Blue Chews.

Blue Chew.

Pete, do you like working here?

Yeah, I know.

That's good.

Despite

Adam.

Pete and I are very close.

We have a lot in common.

We both play hoops.

Oh, man.

I feel like I'm going to have a massive diarrhea or something.

Blue Chew.com, guys.

We want to talk to you about Blue Chew.

I think all over the country.

I pulled something in my back.

And then you know, when you get back pain, then you're like clenching your abs all the time.

So I think I've hurt now my abdominal muscles bracing for something in my back to hurt.

Yeah, congratulations.

sorry nick i had to

chuckle at that you did not have to no i had to chuckle because he's been he's been on your side this whole time i just didn't deniable mike is famously not a side taker well yeah it's true now he's disparaging you and calling you a side taker no no side taker is a proud noble thing to do why are you lying on me being a wishy-washy that's that's uh that's not a brave stance

being a wait-and-see fella you know anyway i want to talk to you about Blue Chew.com.

Blue Chew is a unique service that provides men with

generic

chewables.

Sponsored by Hunter Biden, who is the real winner.

Respect to the king, friend of the show, Hunter.

Please come on the show.

Blue Chew.com provides generic versions of Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra in chewable form.

I think he legally has to come on the show now because if you get a presidential pardon, it removes your Fifth Amendment protections.

So he's not like...

He has to answer every question.

Yeah, he's not legally allowed to decline a podcast invite.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'd love to sit down with him.

Smoke a little rock.

It's so cool

for your dad to get you out of trouble.

It's very funny to take pictures on your MacBook of you just hanging out naked.

They're not like nudes to grace.

They're not nudes to send to somebody.

You're just like fucking like,

just chilling.

Speaking of being naked, when you're in the moment, you could pop in a blue shoe and be ready anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

I might start doing that, actually.

Guys, take naked pictures of myself.

No awkward visits to the doctor, no visits to the pharmacy.

Is that this character in my blue shoes are sent directly to your get-to-be?

I never even get to be naked.

Yeah, I'm often not.

Even in the shower when I'm completely alone out.

Yeah.

I sleep fully clothes.

Yeah.

I'm ready to go.

When you're wife walking in on you, you're wearing board shorts in the shower.

Down on my knees.

What the fuck are you doing?

What's wrong with washing my pubes down in the knees?

You take the head thing and shove it down your knees.

Yeah, you just like look at her and you're like, a little privacy, please.

Fucking.

This is fucking Stalinist Russia over here.

Okay.

No awkward visits to the doctor.

No awkward visits to the pharmacy.

They're sent directly to you in discrete packaging.

Blue Chew's licensed medical providers provide a screening online, and you can chew it, and you can fucking.

Also, I will be in Atlanta this weekend.

That was the thing I forgot.

I will be in Atlanta at the Atlanta Helium.

I'm coming tomorrow, tomorrow, Thursday through Saturday.

I will be at the Atlanta Helium in hot Atlanta.

Hey, I'll be at the Independent Comedy Club in Detroit this Saturday night.

You can get your tickets at Microsoft Committee.com.

E-N-T, do you know what that means, man?

What's that mean?

It's a song.

Him up.

Webby.

Guys, go to bluechew.com, put in promo code T-A-F-S

for

your month free.

You just pay the $5 shipping.

If you don't like them, you can send them back.

Some other guy will eat them.

Guys, it's good.

They got Tadalophil.

Tadalophil.

Sedenophil.

Sedenophil and whatever Lovitra is.

And please buy some tickets if you live in Detroit.

I keep doing these deals where please buy your tickets if you live in Atlanta.

I forgot to promote that.

Go check them out.

And guys, keep an eye out.

We're going to have

my

stunning victory over the Big Bang.

Oh, we don't need to plug that.

That'll come out when it comes out.

I want to plug it actually.

There's no, you're just

gallivanting in Atlanta.

You're at nothing.

I mean, here in the factory.

You've had nothing to plug, and so now you're going to step on the plugs by just.

I'd like to plug that.

Oh, let's make sure we move on from.

Oh, and then this.

It's my career, Nick.

It's the one-up.

This could be huge for my career.

It's not one-upping you.

I want you to

experience success.

I want

I to experience it.

Oh, yeah, of course.

I'm antagonizing it.

100% I'm antagonist.

Take this all out of the episode, guys.

Join us next week.

I got to get to work.

No, we have to do this Blue Chew read.

We already did it.

No, you got to do it.

I did the Blue Chew read.

You can't.

I said the promo code.

You get your first month free.

Pay the $5 shipping promo code T-A-F-S.

You got to do more than that.

You can't just put it in the field.

You were talking over it, guys, but I said all the facts.

No, Blue Chew.

You talk to the license.

Hey, Red Bar talked about me.

Oh, okay.

What did he say?

I don't know.

I didn't watch Fools.

I didn't watch a clip yet, but he said I did.

Red bar, very similar to blue, chew.

Right, very similar, yeah.

You chew, so that's something you eat, bar, you drink.

Red, eat, drink, opposite, red, blue, opposite.

Yeah, yeah.

But I guess I did one of those.

I did a fool's sip.

What's that?

What is that?

I've heard that, but I don't like where you're.

Is it just sipping?

Yeah, you take a sip because you're uncomfortable.

Fool's notice.

I was put on Fool's Notice in Tampa.

It was an honor of a lifetime.

Yeah.

I didn't know what it was.

Yeah, it's cool.

We should say that's a credit.

Like, Comedy Central, Fool's Notice.

Yeah.

I hope he does it again.

I hope so, too.

Nothing but respect for him.

And Baseltov getting on.

So what were you on?

What program were you featuring?

My show.

Oh, your show.

Oh, he's covering your show.

Well, I had Ivy on, so she was Ivy Woke.

Oh, okay, yeah.

She was talking about him.

Yeah, yeah.

About Red Bar.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He does his little Red Bar in the Wild segments where people talk about him.

He's incredible.

Yeah, nothing but respect.

What an incredible broadcaster.

You got to take a sip, though.

Take a sip.

Shout out to Red Bar.

Guys, see Nick in Atlanta.

See Mike in Detroit this weekend.

And then we also have to talk about Jordan.

We have to talk about Blue Chew.

You can't.

We talked about Blue Chew already.

You blow all of our deals, man.

You're going to go back to your beautiful princess apartment.

You should see the way he lives these days.

I live in the office.

You should live in the other room.

You should see the way he lives these days.

That's nice.

What are you talking about?

Can I come?

You've been to my apartment.

No, he's had it completely redone.

Oh, okay.

He has

you have cursive letters on the wall to be able to do that.

His laughing

fake, okay.

Breathe.

He was like a fat woman in Middle America.

I got fuzzy furniture, black figure.

Family.

I got black, what is it called?

Like pincushing, like baffled leather, wainscoting, and then deep red from there up.

Can I come over here?

Then all the accents are just mirrors and steel.

And then there's like chains that hang down with handcuffs all over the place, like fuzzy handcuffs that hang down from the ceiling.

Nice.

So that's.

I do miss that neighborhood sometimes.

Finland.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tom's neighborhood.

Tom's neighborhood.

Tom Pearl from Finland.

You ever got into Tom Pearl of Finland?

No, that's disgusting.

That's a fun cartoon, huh?

Yeah.

Tom Myers of Finland.

I've sucked cock

please make peace with him we love you I've tried cock

oh my god that's that's very funny to think

yeah we wish him well we wish him the best the man is awesome simply the best better than all the rest that that's it that's the fucking Kenny Logan song no it's Tina Turner no simply the best better than all the rest isn't that Kenny Loggins simply the Best.

No, it is Tina Turner.

But there's a Kenny Loggin song that was in a Toyota commercial for years, and I can't

remember what the fucking song is, but I just associated it.

That was like my first exposure to Kenny Loggins.

Was that Toyota,

like Toyota sales event?

It was that song.

It's been for like a month.

I've been like, what the fuck was it?

What's Kenny Loggins?

Oh, my God.

It's 7.30.

All right.

All right.

Let's call it, guys.

Thanks for joining us today.

Go to bluechew.com, promo code TAFS once again.

We love them and we appreciate their support of the show.

Did you guys eat lunch?

No.

Before I had a trophy.

I've been here since 10 a.m.

Have you?

Yeah, I cleaned and stuff.

I asked you if you were here yet.

I was busy working.

You were screening my text.

You were screening my text.

I was screening your text.

You were screening my text.

He'll start.

We're supposed to be here at 2, right?

So he'll start texting and be like, I have no idea where my keys are.

I text that he plans on being late.

I text that.

I'll make up some bullshit thing, and then it's like, I don't even know what to do.

Well, if you're interested, I found myself.

Are you still doing that?

Are you still planning to lie?

He does that shit all the time.

And it's like, I just don't engage with it because it's like, all right, I'll see you when I see you.

You fucking whoppy, you smile.

Let's walk.

I just, you know,

the oven.

I have to wait on what we're friends with.

I have to wait.

Okay, anyway, guys.

Thank you for joining us.

I'm going to send the guy over to fix the plot.

Oh, my God.

Thank you for joining us.

That's promo code T-A-FSBlueShoe.com.

Go see Nick in Atlanta.

Go see Mike in Detroit this weekend.

Thanks for joining us.

I love you.

Goodbye.

Thanks.

And I said that to Nick.

I got a podcast.

Alpha Smokes podcast.

We've done the plug.

All right, all right, all right.

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