The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 43

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Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.

It is the week of Thursday,

February 26th.

My colleagues being loud right now, I'm at work.

Adam is on the phone.

All right, so is it like the turn signal?

With Volkswagen.

What time?

What time?

He's asking.

Stop, watch, start.

And we're off.

We're off for a big one.

Actually, you know what?

me let me call you in like an hour and a half.

This is like it's we're gonna do car talk.

We gotta trade.

This guy's like a real, this guy that's making noise, he's a real jokester around the office.

Who are you on the phone with?

The service department?

I'll call you.

Who you on the phone with?

Thanks a lot.

Okay, I appreciate it.

Yeah, yeah.

If we send it to the body shop, I'm just not gonna have my car for another seven years.

So

this is ridiculous.

All right, thanks, man.

All right, bye.

All right, see you.

Bye.

Who's this?

Now my sister's calling.

Who's this?

That was

Volvo.

Hi, Zoe.

I'm doing the podcast.

Oh, my God.

Wait, is everything okay?

Everything's fine.

I had a I had a question.

Okay.

I'm going to get that thing

for her birthday, by the way, the one you sent.

We're doing a thing right now.

I'm actually on the podcast, and Nick's doing a thing where he's started the podcast while I'm taking important phone calls from my family.

Yeah, I did that.

Do you want to say hi to Nick?

I definitely did that

before.

Yeah, I was like, oh, Zoe's going to call.

Why don't we start doing the podcast?

She can call me personally.

She doesn't have.

He said, you can call him personally.

And he said, you don't write, you don't call.

He wants your attention all the time.

He's like, it's kind of pathetic.

Bye.

All right, enjoy it.

I gotta go.

Bye.

Sorry, guys.

You know, life, welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

I like your look right now.

Yeah.

Yeah, you look

like you're in a symphony orchestra.

Oh.

I was going for like a Brookstone guy who hangs out at Brookstone pretending to work there.

Is Brookstone still a company?

No.

No.

Sharper Image.

Sharper Image.

Going to Sharper Image and pretending, yeah, I buy this kind of stuff.

Yeah, I'm actually at the genius bar here.

I'm sorry, do you have a hair dryer that's made out of lasers?

Sorry to.

I'm looking for barbecue equipment that also tells you what time it is.

That is.

I got one of those sensors for my dad and it just did not work.

For like the internal meat temperature.

A meat temperature filter.

It was like an app.

Yeah.

Well, you mean like 20 years ago?

No, like not not too long ago.

Sharper Image in Brookstone, it was like...

It literally just did not work.

Those stores just existed for poor people to go into and be like, dude, if I was rich.

But then no rich people are actually buying any of that shit.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't need an indoor hammock.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

It's aspirational.

It's aspirational.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also...

for kids at the mall to go in the massage chairs.

Right, massage chairs, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

But then everything in there was like a massage item.

Yeah.

See, Nick and I grew up in mall culture.

We were kind of mall rats growing up.

So I used to take a bitch on a date to a.

They still have malls, dude.

I was just in Columbus and they got that big one there.

Yeah.

The Columbus Mall?

The Easton Town Center.

Was it fun?

I guess.

I should have.

That's kind of the one thing I do consistently on the road is go to the mall with Caleb.

Yeah.

There's nothing else to do.

There's nothing else to do.

Yeah.

Rosemont Zaney's is like not in Chicago.

None of the clubs.

By the airport, but there's an outlet mall.

And I bought Tim's.

It was pretty fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I deadass bought Tim's.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, I will be at Charlie Goodnights in Raleigh, North Carolina.

My return to Charlie Goodnight's.

I think it's just Good Nights.

I remember one, yeah, they changed it.

It used to be Charlie Goodnights.

It's the new venue now.

Last year, those were fun shows.

That was like the first, that was my first weekend.

I think I did Laugh Boston, and then that was just a bunch of drunk Boston guys.

I'm Laugh Boston next weekend, guys, the 8th, I believe, and 9th.

That was the first...

Well, I guess the first weekend I did was Your Creek in the Cave, and I hadn't done stand-up in like four years.

And then that was fun.

And then I had to do Laugh Boston.

And then that was fun.

No, you did in Chicago.

Well, that was just doing a 20-minute spot.

I thought you went back after that.

No, never mind.

Never mind.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, this is what comics do.

Like, this is kind of the conversations we have, you know, behind the scenes.

It is bizarre the state of the industry now.

Let's get a statement of the industry address from the president.

There's probably...

Oh, you're mocking me?

No, no, no.

You said state of the industry.

It was like...

It was an attempt at

the same time.

It was an attempt at...

What other words would you use?

It was not condescending.

What other words?

Oh, let's get a statement from the president.

No, state of the industry.

This is the one time in our 15 years of friendship that I've looked like more of a lesbian than you.

And now you think you can...

Now you think you can fucking come to my window.

Now you can do your misogyny at me.

I wasn't trying to be an ass.

Now you know how fucking.

That's not my style of comedy.

Now you know how tempting it is to be.

That's not my style of comedy.

You're like, why are you mean to me and condescending?

And it's because you look like that.

Because you look like this all the time.

When I put that beard on, you were like, it's ridiculous.

All the things that make you annoying when you don't have the beard, when you had the fake beard on, you're like, yeah, of course, this guy's a little bit.

He's trying his best.

Of course, this guy's a bull.

He's a good guy.

He's just relaxing.

I want to have a beer with him.

Yeah, not even a beer.

It's just like, leave him the fuck alone.

Yeah, I put on a fake beard and Nick said, you know, normally.

It wasn't just

Hunter said it also, like, because I brought it up, and then everyone was like, that's what it is.

Yeah, but everyone, everyone, it's cafeteria style around the old movie.

No, no, no, no.

Everyone's like, good one, Nick.

Go get him.

It wasn't even a get him sort of thing.

And it's kind of an archie style.

No.

It's a little bit of Archie Riverdale.

You're in the cafeteria.

No.

Go bish that.

You know what it actually probably was?

It's not even like the look thing.

It's because you had a fake beard on.

You couldn't talk as much.

I had to remember promo.

Yeah, yeah.

You had to shut up.

I had to shut the fuck up.

Oh, yeah.

That's how it do be.

But it really wasn't.

It's funny.

I couldn't speak for like a fucking week.

And it was like a nice week with my girlfriend.

And it's like, yeah, because I couldn't say anything that would be misinterpreted.

You know what I wish is that she couldn't speak.

Or my wife, you know.

Oh, you're, yeah.

I guess she does talk a lot.

I guess your wife doesn't shut the fuck up.

She's always saying shit, dude.

I'm back.

Anyway,

Boston next weekend.

Following weekend, Detroit, the 15th or whatever, the next weekend.

Also, I want to say, we had Dan Soder on the premium episode.

If you don't subscribe, go to patreon.com.

Yeah,

Dan was supposed to come on for this regular episode, but because of like the timing and some other things that were going on this week,

we could, yeah, we couldn't, but

we couldn't have him on the regular one, so we had him on the premium.

So I'd like to mention that Dan is releasing his new special on YouTube on the road.

Check it out.

You should go to YouTube at sign Dan Soder.

Yeah.

We love Dan.

Why do I sound so old talking about this stuff?

I was, I'm not, YouTube was new when I was like a kid.

Like, I grew up with, well, then grow up with.

We were the beta testers.

Yeah, but it's not like I'm talking.

I talk grapes.

I talk about

the internet now like an old person.

I know.

But I'll be like, www.

Right.

Why does it sound back?

Why is it the backslash?

I don't sound like I'm in the Matrix.

I feel like I used to sound like I was a part of the Matrix.

You used to be the architect, Ergo.

No, I was like the sunglasses and fucking like, welcome, let's listen to Rob Zombie.

Now you're the old lady.

I was thinking about that the other day.

That fucking, the song Dragula, is he, what is he talking about?

What is the song?

Which one?

Dragula?

Rob Zombie.

He's like,

dumbs and bitches and burns.

I slam in the back of my Dragula.

You put on a dress and get fucked in your ass?

Oh, Dragula.

Yeah.

I never realized.

It sounded so badass.

I never listened to it.

No, I think it's about, like, it's supposed supposed to be about.

It's about

cross-dressing.

Yeah.

I mean, I've joked before that all of his songs are about, like, it's a fucking car that's cool.

I mean, so I think Dragula.

It's supposed to be spooky scary.

Dragula is supposed to be a car.

Yeah.

And so is

a super beast.

I think that's also a car.

I think it's a type of baby.

It's always a car from hell.

No, I mean, basically, I think.

I think it's for babies.

Metallica is like that, too.

Enter Sandman is just about

having scary dreams.

I don't think it's about it's for baby.

That kind of stuff isn't for babies.

It's for people that are sincere and aren't like,

you know, it's not.

Snobs, dickheads, Jews.

Yeah.

Remember,

hipsters term.

Remember in the West Memphis 3 documentary where the mom's like, I listen to this song, Nothing Else Matters, Every Day

to remind me of...

that I miss my baby and he's locked up.

And it's like so emotional.

Is there a problem with that you had?

No, it was like a really beautiful moment in that.

Oh okay.

Yeah.

And it is a nice song.

Nothing else matters.

One of the first songs people learned on guitar.

Nothing else matters.

I like that song.

But what's the thing that does matter in the song?

Getting pussy.

Getting pussy.

Yeah.

I just thought about getting pussy.

I got happy.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, you do.

You look like

a musical genius falling on hard times.

Yeah.

You look like...

One of those Jamie Foxx movies.

Yeah, so there's only one of, but it feels like there was a million.

It's like violin radio.

But didn't it make 9-11?

I don't remember.

Jamie Foxx lives in a shopping cart.

Yeah, but 9-11.

Liam Neeson is like, the boy needs to play his violin.

Is Liam Neeson his best friend?

I don't remember, dude.

It's like that is all one genre of like...

Like

anti-racist.

Actually, it's not even.

The movies are kind of racist because it's like, there's never, never, I haven't seen any of them.

But radio is like that.

No one's racist to radio in the movie.

But the movie is supposed to make you feel like, see,

we weren't that bad.

It makes us feel good.

I guess, kind of, you know.

Green Book is another.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That Green Book guy's son does something.

The guy from...

Green Holy Fans?

No, he's like on the Sopranos or something.

Really?

Yeah, I'm trying to.

I love that show, The Sopranos.

Green Book movie.

I love that show, The Sopranos.

It's so good.

You guys got to check it out.

I also want to plug the Sopranos.

If you have HBO Max.

Concerning Vigo Mortensen.

One of the best names on the business.

Maharshali Ali.

Marshall Lalo.

Don Shirley, an Italian American bow.

Yeah, Frank Tony Lip

Vagilana.

Tony Lip.

Yeah, who's a...

Sophilania, that's a good one.

Oh, he does.

He's on the

Sopranos.

He plays Carmine.

The guy, that actor.

Old Carmine or Little Carmine?

Carmine, the old one.

That's who wrote Green Book?

That is the character from

in his real life.

The actor who plays Carmine on the Sopranos was the guy that drove that black guy around.

Oh, wow.

The movie's based on his real life.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Little Carmine is one of the funniest television characters of all time.

Like, all the malapropisms, how he like tries to sound smart and all the guys think he's like an intellectual, but like he's just using the wrong words constantly.

I don't do that.

I don't know, you pointed at me, so I pointed out.

Oh, yeah, no, you do that.

You do that all the time.

But not like big words.

It's always like, it's always jargon.

You know, it's always like something having to do.

Like you're trying to demonstrate like.

Like inside baseballs.

Yeah, in the same way that people say inside baseball.

baseball you do that same I mean it with in the process

like when Ian said uh dystopian

I mean you did it the other day right there we have a new person working the switcher now.

Thank you to I don't know if we'll

shouldn't disclose your personal information so we won't say but everybody please welcome or if you've been enjoying the switching the last couple episodes thank you we haven't thank you to we're not we'll keep we'll keep we'll keep you insulated from these animals but uh

but yeah you're yeah totally welcome very hand very handy and then uh you know it's like you come in we're we're all trying to figure out what did i just say a more efficient process and you just fucking come in just diapered up just diaper energy what was my melanopism what was my

or you can set up hotkeys

sincerely you said or you or you can set up just fucking just for the camera switching you set up one two and three as hotkeys as hotkeys

i used it correctly

You just attribute a gayness to everything I say.

No, but it's just, it could not be

very funny the other day.

It could not be less rapid every time.

So I was like, it'd be like if people...

In communication with our editor.

I'm not complaining right now.

It's very funny you said this.

I was like in communication with our editor about the new episode that's coming.

It should be out within the week.

I promise, actually, this time.

Okay.

So, and

Nick said that every every time I tried to update him, it sounded like I was gossiping.

What do you do, though?

No, you just attached it.

No, because I was like, hey, we need the X, Y, and Z, or he's having a problem with this.

No, you come to me.

I heard.

You come to me, you're like, I think Bobby's having a mental breakdown.

No, I said, I think

that's a good idea.

I don't even respond to him.

I just take the phone out and I call Bobby on speakerphone.

You go, no, no, what are you doing?

Why?

And then I say, hey, Bobby.

I said, what was that about the first scene?

Because it's just you relate.

No, but you because you kept

talking about the first scene.

I said it wasn't the scene.

I wasn't talking about it.

I was done a week ago.

No, you said, so we must leave the first scene.

And I said, it's not about the first scene.

It's not about the first scene.

I think we're just like, he's been working like

great.

You just call.

All you have to do is call him.

You come to me, you're like, you're like, guess what?

You just

sound that way.

Guess what?

I don't talk like that.

Guess what?

Yeah.

I don't talk like that.

I think the only reason you're friends with Ian is because he's doing something scandalous 24-7.

No.

I think you have a parasitic relationship with Ian Finance.

No.

It's the opposite of the way.

Huh?

I think if I was some musical genius living on the streets, Ian wouldn't look twice at me.

Why do they dress like this?

Like this?

Yeah, like music people.

Like if you're in the symphony, you have to look like, you just look stupid.

It makes them look worse.

They have to dress nice, I think.

Yeah, but they're not dressed nice.

They're in nice collared shirts.

I know.

They look like, yeah, they look like a bum going to a wedding.

Well, they're a bum after they have the mental breakdown.

You know.

Shine, Jeffrey Wright.

Rush.

That's another crazy music guy movie.

Mm-hmm.

Shine.

You want to say it again?

Shine.

Two or more times.

Shine, Jeffrey Rush.

Shine.

Now it's funny.

Shawwing.

Yeah.

There you go.

I'm going to start calling saying foin again about girls.

Yeah.

And noise.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Noise needs to come back.

Noise.

Yeah.

All right.

Noise.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

So, all right.

Someone's threatening your life.

No, no, no, no.

Come on, Nick.

Nick, we got to play the long con on this.

Let me run point, okay?

All right.

Can I ask you a question, right?

Mm-hmm.

You can't go all guns ablazing in a situation like this.

This is the one thing I excel at, okay?

I am an ordinary person, if not

unimpressive human being when it comes to most things.

But there's one thing that I excel at, and that is this type of scenario.

Because

they're already on the ropes.

And what you do is you don't bulldoze.

You're not a bull in a China shop.

You bug them out, dude.

You persist.

You have to.

Bug style.

You have to.

You're finding your crevices.

It's not even a bug thing.

What it is, is the bug bass.

No, it is an Anasazi.

I guess, I mean, if a spider is a bug, I'll accept that.

Anansi the Spider?

An Anansi.

Yeah.

Anansi?

Anansi the Spider.

Anansi.

Anasi.

Anansi.

But Anansi the Spider wasn't like...

He's an African-style spider.

I know, he was African, so he wasn't like...

Was he like sneaky and stuff and back-handed?

That's not what he would do.

I don't remember.

I remember as a kid, like, having a problem with the Nancy, the spider, because it's like,

it's actually kind of fucked up that they teach white kids about a Nancy.

You know, because it's sort of, everyone hates spiders.

And then this one's like, he's African, and then you could be like, oh, well, this one's actually good.

You know what I mean?

Like,

if you're predisposed to maybe being racist.

And you would

assume a third grader is.

Yes.

You think that's a good idea?

I don't think it's a good idea to tell kids, to go to a group of white kids and say, I know you think spiders are pretty bad and scary, but this one's from Africa.

Go off.

Yeah, and he's actually a pretty good guy.

So you were in second grade and you were like, this beef.

I'm not saying being racist or the Nazi.

I'm saying that to be like, well, this one's

a good guy.

This is what spiders would be like.

If they still lived in Africa.

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean?

It kind of comes off that way.

I did.

I thought what they were teaching us was that fables come from Africa.

Obviously I get it.

You've got to back me up here on this.

I think it's true.

I think he's a goddamn

living in my neighborhood.

I love the Nancy.

It made me wish as a kid, I was like, I wish I could get

with real spiders like this.

And they weren't just anything to scare me.

But the other spider from when you're a kid is giving messages to a pig.

Charlotte Webb?

Yeah, but it's a fucking bitch.

What's that do for boys?

Yeah.

It's a girl thing.

Yeah.

I'm not interested in girls.

I'm not.

I don't care about a girl.

They did the same thing with James and the Giant Peach.

In fact, that's half the reason why I didn't like spiders.

It's because in my mind they were French women trying to bite me while I'm asleep.

Just leave the fucking kid alone.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's true.

Let him have his big peach and go to New York.

He made it.

He did.

He made it.

Good for him.

Yeah.

Good for him.

And his aunts get their come-uppins.

He had bad aunts.

Is that why he looked?

Well, today officially begins the March Countdown.

It's March Madness for Kung Fu Panda 4.

Oh, you're hyped on this one.

I am.

Friend of the show, Jack Black.

I might bring

trying to smoke weed out of retirement to go see Kung Fu Panda 4.

I tried it the other day, guys.

Did you?

Yeah.

I thought it was great.

My girlfriend said, shut,

shut, you're talking too much.

Yeah, probably.

I'd probably be bad at it.

I'd probably do it like a 12-year-old.

Our old pal Michael Footie had a theory on weed that

you have to do two months on, two months off, and when you go back on, you're peak riff.

That the first week, you're just getting Andre's steakhouse's.

That's how you did Andre's Steakhouse.

Yeah.

You hit resin.

I did.

Amber would leave me.

You hit resin like a hobo.

Yeah, Amber would.

Then you came up with gold.

nothing to do in the morning, and I was like, fuck it, let me try it.

Yeah.

Let me see how it feels.

Should we do weed?

What's that?

I mean, cannabis culture is like, that could be a new audience that we attract.

Kind of 420 guys.

I think that my theory is this.

I think to have this show have any kind of, because like, look,

we don't, we don't, we wanted to move on from podcasting.

We did podcasting for six years.

Some high points that I think are very funny, very good.

I had a lot to do with it.

But things have to come to an end.

And then somehow with this, it was like, oh, we'll do a talk show, we'll shoot stuff.

But it's actually impossible.

It's not impossible.

Well, it's not impossible, but you can't do it every week.

You can't do two talk show episodes a week.

We could do one a month.

We could do one a month, but would have to severely.

I'll say this publicly.

We will do one a month after this next episode.

Okay.

But then it's just going to be a monologue and the interview.

We can't shoot.

We can discuss this later.

Okay.

It's not possible to do a bunch of location shooting and get those information.

Yes, it's not possible to do.

Tarkovsky.

Not even Tarkovsky.

It's not possible to even do that.

Just to do something that isn't a sketch in this office where you go, the show's failing and I'm trying to make it good.

So what do we have for the news?

Yeah, what's the thing?

Yeah, it can't just be that.

But what if it is?

What if we turn, it's the same every single time, and it's kind of just like...

I will kill, I'll kill you and myself.

If that continues, I'll kill you.

So just full disclosure to the audience, the introduction to the new episode has driven us to the point of

no one cares anymore.

No, no, they actually

will care about it.

They'll see it.

No, they'll like it.

No one is like, wow, I can't wait for the next episode.

They think we're liars.

People think it ended years ago.

People think we're pathetic.

And now they don't.

A few people that have interest.

The few people that have interests, they just see a bunch of these, these weird podcasts.

Yeah, yeah.

And we've somehow we've wound up podcasts.

We somehow wound up, we could have just continued doing this stuff.

Doing the old show with the same name, even

just as bad as this, and it wouldn't have cost us close to half a million dollars now.

This is the amount of money we've spent.

We accidentally spent $7,000 a couple weeks ago.

Just on accident.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It was an accident.

It was.

It's just

enough.

Enough.

But hey, that was your pal.

That went through that money.

Look, if anything, that's the nice part: all the money has gone to our friends who need the money probably more than us because they got kids.

They're genius musicians.

They live in all the fruits.

Right, yeah, yeah.

And they're black.

What was I saying?

Oh.

We have to podcast, at least for the time being.

While we stem the tide of

the slow bleed out of it.

No, don't worry.

Don't worry.

I got this.

Okay?

Okay, all right.

Nicholas, when you're in the middle of the day.

Hey, my point is...

And we're walking side by side on the

point is this.

We have to figure out this is going to have to be a themed podcast.

Years ago, 2015, whenever Come Town started, what was that, 2008?

I hear it was good.

Something like that.

Everyone at the time, the community is going to go, you have to have a podcast, and it's got to have a theme.

And I said, that sounds gay.

I don't want to have to have a theme.

Well, who's checking in on a theme?

It's like, why don't we just sit down and say things?

Because that seems to be what they all turn into anyways.

Okay.

It's people sitting down and saying things.

So we need a theme now.

No one's doing themes anymore.

Queer socialist WWE.

I say we do a deep dive on subreddits, and each episode is about a specific subreddit.

Honestly, that's not, that's a great idea.

That's what I mean.

It's also, that's all, they block, I can't see Twitter anymore.

When we did the tiny penis, I can't see Twitter.

We found the tiny penis one.

I know, just do more of that.

But like, dude, I'm obsessed with the psychology of individuals.

Let's go to one right now.

I don't know.

I'll wait until I find a new one, then I'll prepare.

And it'll be, and then that'll be my new passion in life.

Yeah.

I think we should make fun of one right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you can find one.

I wanted to talk about the other drama.

But also,

today's episode is brought to you by a company called Factor.

And I know what you're thinking.

Factor, what the hell is this?

Math class?

Bill O'Reilly show?

Yeah,

the only two plus two I'm trying to do is a two-year-old plus

that got us in trouble with

the other sponsors, so I'm not going to say that.

Factor is our, yeah, is

what?

I said you just did.

What?

Nothing, not that.

Keep going.

Factor.

Factor is a sponsor.

I'm actually excited about this one.

They already sent us this stuff.

Luckily they sent some.

What Factor is, is

what's the fucking, what do you call it?

Oh, it's right here.

Pre-prepared, chef-to-crafted and dietitian-approved meals.

That's too wordy.

It's fucking meal prep.

It's one of these companies where they send you the food, it's already made, you just throw it in the fridge, you pop them out in the microwave, and then it works with

whatever kind of calorie tracking.

And you hit all your macros and stuff.

I'm 35 now.

I have a woman's bone structure.

When I was younger, I was able to lift weights and put on

like a level of muscle that could approximate a male physique, I'd say.

But now my joints are fucked up, which I feel is unfair.

I don't think if you're tiny, you should ever have joint problems.

It's like my lower back hurts all the time.

I'm like, from doing what?

You should be agile.

Barely reaching the cookie jar.

I don't understand why.

It could be taxing.

I don't understand why my knees hurt.

I weigh nine pounds.

Yeah, tall people should.

Right, exactly.

They deserve it.

Whenever they're like, oh, my back, I'm like, good, fuck you.

Fuck you and your back.

Go to the wheelchair.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Yeah.

Be in a wheelchair.

I know.

It's fucking serious.

So you're one of these tall 5'10 guys.

It's so fucking annoying, dude.

You're one of these giant

5'11.

That I have SI joint pain.

What's SI?

What's the sacroiliac joint?

It's not even a joint.

That sounds like a woman made up of it.

Yeah, it's where your tail is.

It sounds like Alina Dunham said she's got that.

Yeah,

it's literally your back walls is what it is.

You hate your back walls?

No, I didn't.

That's what I mean.

You have penetrated the back.

No one has even blown out my back, yet it hurts.

The migrants have penetrated the back.

It's very hard for me to get back into working out now because I'm like, for what?

Well, it has to be now for like balance and core.

It has to be like

maintaining things as I get older.

And and it's like fashion muscle.

The whole like idea of aging gracefully and it's like, oh, you work out to like, you know, maintain what you have and like, you know, to like take care of your body.

I'm like, no, I just want to just give me drugs.

You know what I mean?

Like a, like Elysium, Elysium, like a rich person and you're everything, you're healthy.

Yeah, sort of.

Like Neil Blumberg.

I'm trying to be responsible enough that like, you know,

I can maybe not end up.

Like the goal, you want enough you want to do enough money that you at least have a house that you're not gonna get kicked out of but then like look one bedroom

I don't I need one I don't even need a fucking mattress once I know the house is there and the government's not gonna take it away from me

I will do heroin in that room and

be yours anyways let's start over today's episode is brought to you by a company called Factor and Factor's delicious ready-to-eat meals my point is this okay go ahead is that getting back into and I was very excited when this came through because the only way I could possibly get back into working out I can't do the fucking just eating boiled chicken anymore.

It's disgusting.

I can't do it.

And I'm not going to learn how to cook.

I refuse.

It's nice to cook.

No, it's first of all, your girlfriend, I've been to your house.

You're like, we're cooking.

And then your girlfriend does everything.

And you spill wine all over your apron.

I actually spilled your Larry David apron.

You spilled the potatoes.

You're like, look what the

disgusting.

I threw the

lakas in the city.

I invited him for Hanukkah to share my culture.

And he spills the potatoes into the garbage disposal.

And he goes, it was just, it was fine.

I'll wash them.

I'll wash them.

And then he digs out.

He digs out mashed potatoes from the sink trap.

They were shredded potatoes.

And then fucking tries to serve that as a meal.

He tries to...

It wasn't that nasty.

It was that disgusting.

It was like the most heinous thing I've ever witnessed.

It's fucking like sink trap mashed potatoes.

I didn't, I, okay, I didn't, but I didn't.

The point is that those went in the trash.

And then he's going to be like, yeah, cooking is a lot of fun.

You're terrible at it.

It's awful.

I'm not bad at cooking.

I don't know.

Anytime I've tried to cook anything, it just, it tastes like, it tastes like I followed a recipe.

It tastes like the individual ingredients.

I can taste the amounts.

I can taste the essay that was written.

This is the other thing.

I don't know what happened in this building, but we came into this place.

That's next door.

That's That's next door.

But now I hear, like, you can hear people like, you can hear a phone vibrating.

Somebody else moved in upstairs.

There's no way we can do, you can't do an interview in here anymore.

Everything's going to pick up.

I can hear this guy talking to his fucking mom on the phone.

What's her vibe?

What's her?

I don't know.

I mean, I hear his side of it.

He's such a bitch, dude.

He has a mom.

Anyways.

Factor.

Factor is a...

It's, you know, so it's meal delivery.

And they send them to you.

And

and then I don't want to plug, I don't know, plug a different product that has a similar name to theirs.

That's not the same service, by the way.

It's just it's the the meal tracking side of things.

Um, but yeah, you can just fucking scan them.

It plugs them in, it hits your macros for the day, and you know, they have different options.

Especially for busy people like Nick and myself.

Or just people that don't, like, my body's fucking terrible, and I just like...

You're a handsome.

You just, you should, like, it makes it easier.

It's like like

okay look I got it take the picture of the thing log it try to hit what I need for the day according to an app

and then yeah maybe get back into working out it's just I just want to I just want to sit in the fucking sauna so I think my bone I think I maybe have my bones weigh a pound

my entire

I think my entire skeleton is that is girl style to have that's ladies style osteoporosis I think I have osteoporosis that's like male breast cancer my bones are shrinking

Yeah.

I think I'm all cartilage at this point.

Really?

You're a jellyfish.

I'm like a shark.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't sleep.

Yeah, shark, that's shark vibe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what's funny when you find those things on the beach and somebody's like, oh, that's the shark's purse.

And you're like, they're gay?

Who says that?

You remember to find that on the beach?

No one's ever said that to me.

A shark's purse?

Shark's purse, yeah.

It's like the little, like, the thing.

It looks like a purse.

Who told you that?

I don't know.

Your boyfriend?

An adult.

Your boyfriend.

I'm going to look it up.

You're an adult boy.

This is what I hate, man.

It's like you just keep

it anything I say.

I'm like,

this would be a fun riff.

And you're like, that's not real.

They have a sand dollar.

That's not real.

A sand dollar is not.

No, that's no one's heard that.

There's no sand dollars.

Actually, no one's heard that ever, Adam.

I'm sorry for contradicting you.

A shark's purse.

What is it?

It looks like a mask for COVID.

What is it?

No, no.

I'm not contradicting you.

I am your biggest fan.

Every time, dude.

I'm your biggest fan.

No!

What?

When?

No.

How about Sean?

Sean.

Well, let's do my style comedy.

Noise.

Sean.

Noise.

Dude, I'm going to bring back saying noise.

Noise.

Sean?

Sean.

They call them mermaids' purses.

Oh, nice.

And it's an egg case.

It's a shark egg case.

Cat sharks.

So you went to shark beaches.

You went to like...

No, Jersey, Jersey's...

New Jersey beaches have these fucking things oh i grew up doing west coast beaches oh okay kind of kind of local's only more i tell you i love the atlantic i love the atlantic ocean i i like it too it's pretty nice yeah yeah it's dark it's emo it's sort of the jack skellington of oceans pacific's mean the pacific's like pissed off it's just like a hot girl that's being a cunt to people who they're like oh you're you're going to the beach no the pacific is a psycho the atlantic's going to the beach the atlantic's just more depressed

we got to do We got to get through this.

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I did wish because they sent that we have some here.

They're those bags, right?

Well, it's in the we have a fridge, but we don't have a microwave, so you would have to eat them cold if you wanted to try one on the show.

We could get a microwave.

Oh, fuck.

What's up?

I just got a really weird headache.

I'm okay.

You're right.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's just

a microphone.

So the promo code is.

Anyways,

yeah, I don't want it.

We get a microwave, I guess.

I'm sorry, dude.

No, it's all right.

You know when you're just

like a flash.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like just stabbing pain.

Another girl thing.

Menopause.

Yeah, I'm losing my bones.

My bo bones are being

hard.

What do you get?

Rhap rhabdomibliosis?

I'm not.

You know so much about doctor shit, dude.

I don't know anything.

Anyways, yeah, and these were nice too, because I couldn't really eat I don't know, I had the turkey chili when my mouth was fucked up.

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That's, I don't, God, this.

What's going on?

There's no promo code in the copy.

promo code we're assuming is TAFS.

TAFS at factor mules.com slash TAFS.

What's the discount?

50% off.

What?

50% off.

That's a huge discount.

Yeah.

That's massive, guys.

Yeah.

So be feel I guys, Nick has used the product.

He's a fan of the product.

There's a personal endorsement.

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Click in that URL, put in our promo code.

Maybe we will get a microwave.

Maybe we can do that after this.

I put all this on because I thought I needed to for something that's not, we don't, that's not today.

Yeah.

My recital.

My dance recital.

Yeah.

Nick is uh it's kind of like when an adult goes and gets a white belt.

Like Nick is you're in a music school with just four-year-old Asian kids.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're doing Suzuki math.

I'm doing school like School of Rock, but instead of rock it's orchestra.

It's school, it's regular school.

You're just going to

yeah, you've seen the movie School of Rock.

It's sort of like that, except it's just school.

I think it's a good idea for a movie.

Just like, let's say, okay, here's my pitch.

You have a guy, like a Philip Seymour Hoffman style,

like that talented at acting, right?

He has a tragedy in his life, right?

Wife, three kids, they all die, right?

He has a mental break.

He accidentally acts at them too hard and they fucking overdose on his acting.

I mean, we'll figure that out, right?

He has a mental break, wakes up in his childhood bedroom because he's moved back home, right?

And then he just gets up.

His mom still has his setup the same way from him growing up.

He just grabs his backpack and he walks to elementary school.

And then the whole town feels so bad for him that they don't have the heart to tell him that he's not in elementary schooler.

It's kind of like Lars and the real girl where they're like, yeah, that's a real bitch actually because everyone's like that guy's such a loser.

We can't tell him it's a not a real bitch.

I think this is a good movie.

Mm-hmm.

And you could play the Phillip Seymour Hoffman style guy.

I just wanna go back to school.

Yeah.

It's called Back to School 3.

Just let me go back to school!

Just like that.

Yeah.

And he thinks he's a little kid.

Mm-hmm.

I'm small.

It's like, it's it's it's not Billy Madison because

how does he do the the like the breathe the the nose smiling?

He was a great breathe actor.

I'm nose, I'm um nose.

Him and Gandalfini were both the best two breathing at breathe actor guys.

Yeah.

Like when uh when Tony would eat.

He'd eat like have fists fucking on the top of a ghoul.

Sorry.

So good.

Gotta learn how to act somehow.

Yeah.

It is fun.

If anyone is watching this and knows how to act,

we should, this show would be fucking amazing if this podcast, we had just a mentally ill 70-year-old woman that's like, I have spent my life in the theater.

Yeah.

Teaching us Meisner.

Fucking just whatever the, whatever that nerve.

Not the Parkinson's one, but like, you know, Parkinson's light that old people get?

Where you're just sh kind of.

The yips.

Is that what that's called?

I think it's if you're scared.

Is that what that's called the yips now?

I don't know.

Isn't that kind of like a World War II?

Like a...

I don't remember.

What's Parkinson's light?

Huh?

Nothing.

You know how, like, maybe they just have Parkinson's and they weren't.

You should add.

In my life, I've met old people that were shaking.

And, like, I feel like Parkinson's is such a big deal.

When you find out somebody that gets it, that I would see those old people shaking, and I'm like, well, if it was Parkinson's, they'd be like, fuck, I'm freaking out about it.

Maybe they just had Parkinson's and they were just...

Chill about it?

They were chill about it.

Yeah, my mom was pretty chill when she first had it.

Well, she had other stuff going on, too.

Yeah, later on.

She had Parkinson's for eight years before the brain cancer.

Eight years?

Yeah, like eight years.

No, I remember when she was yoga.

I remember when your mom was diagnosed.

She was diagnosed right after I moved to New York 2014.

Yeah.

So she had it and then she passed away 2020.

So I guess six years.

Yeah, but the diagnosis of the cancer was

two years prior to her passing.

So that's what, four years?

What are you checking the facts on?

Because you said eight years and it doesn't.

So six, seven years.

No, four years.

I just don't understand why you would lie about something so close Steve.

She was diagnosed 2013 and 2014, and she passed away 2020.

Now, but no, what you said is that she was

probably 60%.

Parkinson's for eight years prior to the other.

Listen,

you're keeping me honest, and I appreciate it.

Because, like, I am.

I'm just, she's watching.

She's a clout guy.

She's watching.

She's always watching.

And she's like, you're lying.

This is my favorite list.

You're lying again, right now.

This is my favorite list.

I can see you lying.

Everyone in heaven is laughing at her.

Oh, no, I'm not laughing at her, laughing at me.

They're like,

we want you to know you're in heaven not because you were a good person,

but because your son is such a piece of best person I've ever met.

Because your son is such a piece of shit.

He's the best person I've ever met.

Because your son, son is such a piece of shit.

She would have loved me.

We don't.

She was really funny, too.

You earned it on that.

The reason I called it Funny Moms is because she was the funniest person I ever met.

Now it's kind of, it seems like a very 2009 hipster name for a show.

What, Funny Moms?

No, it doesn't.

Yeah, it was.

No, it's my LLC also.

Yeah, well, we got a new, we started a new, you guys would be pleased to know that on, this is the kind of stuff that people really want to

know.

On the financial side of all this, no longer is this, this project funneled through my LLC.

Me and Adam are now officially business partners that

50-50

ownership of everything.

We can't quit each other.

We got a stock split.

We're crazy in love.

I don't know.

What does that even mean?

What?

What does that even mean?

Crazy in love?

You know what's crazy?

I haven't thought about killing myself, I think, in like

seven years now.

No, that's not true.

But it's been like maybe seven weeks.

No, honestly, I haven't.

Truly, like, you, no, that's not true.

No, I haven't, dude.

I'm telling you.

I'm telling you right now.

No, I've been angry or upset, but I don't, I haven't like, you know, when you're younger, you're like, it's very nice that you don't say, I want to kill myself.

Well, I don't.

I haven't.

I literally haven't.

And then it's like, maybe that's all happiness is.

Just not wanting to kill you.

Not wanting to kill yourself.

I think that's fair.

Yeah.

That's really...

I think that's fair.

People think it's like, what, being a Chinese guy on top of a mountain?

No.

Yeah, floating while you're meditating.

No.

That's not even possible.

It's just not wanting to kill yourself.

Yeah, it's not.

That's good as it is.

That Chinese guy is a fucking liar.

That guy's a loser.

And then often they killed himself, dude.

That's the thing.

Like, that's why I never understood.

The Rage Against the Machine.

The Rage Against the Machine guy.

They show you that that and they're like, wow, he did this.

The U.S.

soldier

this week for Palestine.

I know, but he's a U.S.

soldier.

The Rage Against the Machine Guy.

The Rage Against the Machine Guy burning himself to death over some Chinese bullshit.

I thought it was the Vietnam War.

You know what I mean.

The point is, is that this guy doing that, it's like, okay, well, good for you.

Good for you, right, that you did that.

But doesn't that mean Buddhism's bullshit?

Yeah, yeah.

Like, if Buddhism worked,

wouldn't you just be able to be like, you know what?

Let them do

whatever fucking thing is happening.

I thought, K-Sera.

Maybe it is like a Metallica and Nothing Else Matters kind of thing.

Maybe that's what Buddhism is, right?

Isn't it that nothing matters?

Kinda, I guess.

I don't really know much about Buddhism.

It seems like the whole thing is a covet.

It seems like what Buddhism is,

was a million years ago.

There was a prince, an Indian prince,

who had everything you could ever want, but he started going bald, right?

And he's like fuck that's embarrassing he's like I'm gonna shave my head and he did it and people were like you know he's like he's like how does it look you know and the people in his court were like oh yeah it looks

awesome he's like what it looks fucking bad and they're like yeah it looks bad and he's like you know what just fucking I you know what who cares about anything

I don't need any of this fucking shit.

In fact, that's a religion.

So now I'm going, everybody.

It makes me a better guy.

That's all.

I don't give a fuck about shit.

We're We're all going to be bald.

Let's all shave our heads and wear pajamas.

And now it's a new religion.

So I'm actually, I don't fucking care, dude.

And then a bunch of Chinese people were like,

that makes sense.

Yeah, well, now I don't have to, you know, because it sucks being Chinese.

So I guess I'll just be bald.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And now every country that does it.

And now Richard Gere's doing it.

He's just got a bunch of mice in his ass and he's fucking

sitting around his mansion.

Yeah.

Yeah, actually,

actually, this is my religion.

Yeah.

And he's just just sitting there quietly, and all you hear is like

from the wheel.

From the wheel inside his ass.

He's got a whole funnel.

He's got a whole amusement park for them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Those translucent tubes.

Just imagine Richard Gere's his colonoscopy.

It's just the tubes.

It's fucking...

He has a pay as a system to clean out.

Yeah, the pet go.

Yeah.

He's like, can you do me a favor?

Can you

pick up some bedding?

And when you come back, I'm going to be on the inversion board.

Just go ahead and I'm in a deep meditative trance.

Just go ahead and insert that.

Yeah, it's actually really spiritual that I do this with my ass.

It makes me a better guy than you.

We haven't heard from that guy in a while, Richard Gere.

Actually, he's in the, I know, never mind.

Well, he's in Israel?

No, he's in a new movie that

Paul Trader is making.

Oh.

Yeah.

The ass hamster.

Mm-hmm.

The hamster fucker.

By Paul Schrader.

Yeah, and you think he's just a normal hamster fucker, but it turns out he's MACA.

And he's trying to escape his MACA.

Oh, yeah, so it's relevant.

So it's relevant.

It's a commentary on society.

Oh, gotcha.

That's what he always does.

Gotcha.

That's what the goat always does.

The crowd work comedian.

is making a bunch of money off TikTok, but the reality is he's got a bunch of gerbils in his ass.

Yeah.

And it's his secret.

Or sort of about ah.

I guess.

We love him.

Yeah, we do.

He's a legend.

We love him a lot.

That's all we'll say about that.

Yes.

So Kate Middleton hasn't been seen in six months.

Is that true?

Yeah.

She's been murdered?

I think she's like, yeah.

She was one of the bachelorettes?

For the England, for

William.

She's the white one.

I finally watched an episode of The Bachelor last time.

That's so good.

I don't.

I mean, and I'm not saying this to be like...

Because I'm past the point in my life where I'm like, this sucks because

people like it.

I'm not trying to be a snob.

I'm not trying to be a snob.

But you didn't enjoy it.

And I say I've watched.

I mean, when I say that, I mean, I sat down and watched it.

I've seen The Bachelor casually throughout my life because it's been on for 20 years.

I'm watching this season.

And

it's the same conversations over and over and over again for 20 years.

Which a lot of people say, isn't that just what you do?

And I'm like, yes, begrudgingly, because we got trapped.

We got trapped.

Yeah.

We got trapped.

Yeah.

I would probably be happier managing a GameStop,

fucking being like, dude, 25% store discount?

Yeah.

And

I'm addicted to pills?

Doesn't get much better than that, bro.

It's been a little while since.

For a guy like me,

it doesn't get much better than that.

Dude, I have every single Zelda title at my house.

Every single Zelda title.

In my efficiency apartment, and I am so alone.

Yeah.

Actually, it'd be terrible.

I would just be priced out of Austin.

I would be living in the Serengeti of Texas, just commuting five and a half hours.

Yeah, you'd be like in a place with the fucking

balls.

I would just be bitter.

I would hate Joe Rogan.

Yeah.

I would be like,

these guys.

They ruined the scene.

Yeah.

We had the best comedians.

Yeah, Austin was good before these LA guys came in LA.

Yeah, they lived in our scene.

Right.

I'm living five hours away.

I'm in Oklahoma.

I just get a tornado comes, tries to come by, but I'm too fat at that point.

That'd be suck up.

It's like, do we even have an obesity crisis or do we have a tornado problem?

And on a subconscious level, the species knows the answer.

I need to survive.

Heavier.

Let's go heavier than the.

Because it is right there through that.

They're making a new one.

You know that.

Twister.

Yeah, really?

And what?

It's a black lady.

Yes.

Yeah.

Look out, y'all.

Here I come.

Yeah, yeah.

My name is F5.

Who's?

Who's pun?

We got Monique as a tornado now.

I believe it is Monique.

Because the cancel culture has to take tornadoes away

from conservative America.

They woke everything.

That was their thing.

All we got here is NASCAR and tornadoes, and now you got to fucking say.

They're all tornadoes to black ladies.

They're giving, they're saying the fat black ladies.

What do we have left?

We got nothing.

We just have sexual assistants.

This is the last thing they left to the menu.

Dude, this started with

they killed Dale Earnhardt, and then they saw us weak, and they fucking have just spent the last 20 years, but no more the south will rise again guess what they they're confusing our our weakness for kindness our southern weakness yeah and and we're not kind there's yeah we're bitches we're actually fucking weak

but we're also cunts i'll tell you what we're gonna do is we're gonna put arsenic in the eggnog

and we're gonna show you now it's time for our volley and the war on um happy holidays enjoy your holiday eggnog what is that we're gonna call it that what to kill christians no to kill people that just want eggnog we're gonna have happy holidays eggnog.

So it's no longer Christmas style eggnog.

Now it's for everybody.

But guess what?

It's got poison in it.

So enjoy that.

You want to buy the non-controversial eggnog?

Yeah, yeah.

Now it's time to

die.

Yeah.

If you woke it.

And that'll be the real rapture.

Because we're all

we have Christmas eggnog.

And anybody that drinks that is fine.

Yeah.

And anybody that has chooses the happy holidays eggnog.

You know, that's what happened to Jews during the plague because it was passed around during from swine.

So people thought they were wizards.

What?

The plague in Europe was spreading through swine.

No, it's spread through rats.

So how did Jews not get it?

They did.

Well, there just wasn't that many Jews.

0% fatality rate.

For Jewish people?

I think they also watched it.

Didn't the RFK say that about COVID?

What did he say at that dinner?

He said something like that that

no Jews ever.

Jews invented COVID.

They invented COVID.

Yeah.

What's going on with that guy?

I get like somebody thought it was funny to sign me up for fucking emails for every

I mean, I don't even know.

That's funny.

That is pretty funny.

I get every newsletter ever.

I love the

around election time when they just sound like they just like, please give me pussy.

Like in the dial in the subject line of every every email like they say please give me pussy it's it's that it is that uh tone like

please please like Donald Trump is about to to molest us

please please Adam please this is Barack Obama believe it please protect me you know

I really didn't go anywhere yeah no the RFK ones are like

You know, these bastards want to fucking, they're trying to, they're doing everything they can to keep fucking RFK down.

It's like, does any, nobody, it's not that serious, dude.

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares about the fucking, that's the worst part about, like, does anybody actually care about who's president?

As much as the people doing it?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

No.

You know?

And nerds.

No, not either.

They don't even care.

Losers, dude.

Podcasts ruined literally everything.

Yeah, yeah.

People don't have podcasts.

You can get paid to care about things.

And it was like Gen X had it figured out.

Don't you sh you didn't care about anything.

Nirvana.

All we needed.

Gen X if we had Gen X, but people were fucking maybe a little bit more, that would have been a perfect society.

And we were getting close.

Yeah.

You know?

That's what the nineties was.

Yeah.

Wood Sock 94.

Yes.

Wood Sock 99.

That rap rock.

Rap rock.

That's f that is close.

That's close to what a perfect society would be.

It was close.

But there was a lot of sexual assault at 99.

Was there, though?

There was mud.

Yeah.

Mud?

I remember.

You ever got mud in there?

It rained a lot.

People nutted in the mud.

People nutted in the mud.

That was one of the biggest.

That was on the top acts that year.

Nutting in the mud.

Someone got mad about it.

Yo, we're rap, rock group nutted in the mud.

Yeah.

And then it's like, yeah,

it's a mixed race.

Rap, rock group.

All right.

Yeah.

Our song, The Clowns Have Come.

Our Clowns at the Club.

That's the number one song.

Clowns at the Club, yeah.

Don't you dare disrespect my tiny car.

I'll step out of it and we can go to war.

It's a tiny clown mafia.

That's pretty good.

It's a clown rap mafia.

That's pretty good.

It's crazy that of all of the sub-genres of rap rock, the one that's had the most longevity is the clown-branded one.

That is ICP, still going strong.

Yeah.

House of Pain, nothing.

Nothing.

But But clown rap rock.

House of Pain had to pick up guitars.

They became Everlasting.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uncle Cracker is literally just that.

He had to pick up a guitar.

Now he's just literally some cracker uncle.

Mm-hmm.

And he used to

be.

What they've done to him.

It used to be.

He used to rhyme and used to spit.

No, Kid Rock is.

Kid Rock is done.

Nope, Kid Rock picked up the guitar.

Yeah.

No, they found out he can sing, and then he has to do that instead.

Just let

white men rap.

Yeah.

Have you seen Modest Yahoo's back on the news?

Because they're canceling his.

The workers at venues are boycotting him.

What do you do?

He's pro-Israel.

So, like, he's on his most recent tour.

He is?

Yeah, he is.

That is shocking.

Why?

I mean, he stinks.

He stinks.

I told you, I've said this story before, but my mom, like, and it was like, she was being so nice.

She, like, came into my room.

I was, like, doing homework or something.

She's like, Adam, you like reggae.

Like, you, I know you like Bob Marley.

Did you even like reggae?

I like Bob Marley when I was like in middle school.

Yeah, that's really cool.

Okay, so she's like, that's because you're like, you're like learning how to do weed without doing it before you do it.

I remember fantasizing about when I'm going to start doing weed.

Yeah, that's like age 12.

Me and my cousin listen to Dark Side of the Moon.

Yeah.

And we were like, I can't wait to get weed.

Remember when you see Half Bag?

Did you see Half Bake before or after?

Before.

Yeah, totally before.

You see it before and you're like, dude, as soon as I get pube.

That looks like the puzzle.

As soon as I have one pube, I want to make sure I don't fuck that up.

If I start weed now, I might not ever grow my penis.

Well, it's going to stay so much.

It might be bad luck.

But at least I can't be bald.

My mama had a bad thing.

I can't give people, you can't have a small dick and be shaving your pubes also.

They're like, check this out.

A baby.

What if I'm a baby?

Yep.

Got an extra half inch, baby.

Yeah, my mom, like she had like the cd and like jewel kiss and she was like adam you like reggae right i was like yeah what what why and she's like well there's a rabbi that does reggae

is he even a rabbi he was he was orthodox at the time and she's like you know does that mean you're like if you're orthodox they're all rabbis kind of yeah if they're if you're a chasid they're all technically kind of rabbis yeah because they're all but orthodox isn't Hasidic they're orthodox Hasidic is part of or it's boring Hasidic is part of Orthodoxy, but then there are modern Orthodox people that like they also shave, but they wear yarmucas.

Yeah, they just wear the jacket.

They wear the like the it's kind of more Blues Brothers.

It's road to perdition.

The road to perdition.

Yeah,

yeah.

Red kind of very road to perdition.

It's but so the

the regular Hasidics, that's 1880s, and then the modern Orthodox is 1940s.

Yeah um

yeah.

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