Ep. X0X – Matthew Broussard

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

You are listening to the Adam Friedland Show, a very, I'd say, unspecial episode.

We're kind of in a time crunch here.

We've been working all day long, and Adam has made himself sick,

sick of me.

He's tired.

He's got to go home and hang with his girlfriend.

So what I did, because he wanted to do the episode tomorrow, I said, fuck it.

Let's keep the advertisers happy.

I'm going to go over to the stand, and the first comedian I see, I'm going to say, I'll give you 500 bucks to come do the Adam Friedland show.

And I ran into Matthew Broussard.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matthew Broussard to the Adam Friedland Show.

So you have,

you've never, you have no idea what this is.

I've listened to Come Town.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

It's a very, very good podcast.

Oh, thanks.

So are you familiar that Come Town is...

Hold on.

Just, I might have to, I'm going to switch my mic here.

So why don't you, you can continue saying that Come Town's good for like 30 seconds while I...

Come Town is good.

Come Town is great.

I listen to Come Town every day.

Yeah, maybe more personal.

I wear Cometown condoms.

No, it keeps coming up.

I like it.

It's just, it's free in a way I dream of being.

It's funny.

It's what people forgot comedy is, which is just,

oh, the word irreverent makes my dick shrivel.

But, you know, when it's actually real, it's great.

That's just, yeah, I'm a big fan to all you guys.

And, you know, y'all talked shit on me once on one episode.

Did we?

Yeah.

It was nice, though.

Is this working?

Is that one working?

No, this sounds like it's worse than the other one.

Hello?

Hello?

God damn it.

I think all my cables are fucked up here.

We talk shit on you on an episode?

Yeah.

I was going up against Zach and Miko on Rose Battle.

Oh, okay.

But it was, you just said you wanted me to lose.

And

that's fair.

I also want Zach to win.

Well, yeah, because Zach's got nothing in his life, Zach's got nothing in his life.

Zach's fucking

quarterback.

You're the 80s bully guy.

Yeah, yeah, and you're actually a good comic.

You know, it's funny because I remember you moved to Austin.

We were both, it's just background, we're both Austin guys.

And you moved to, I'm just going to have to make this work because this thing is fucked up.

This is like way quiet.

I don't know what the fuck's going on with all my cables.

I was gone.

Adam did a huge episode without me, which, you know, my ego aside, great.

Smash hit.

Everybody loves it it's very funny um oh no it's like he's doing a Beyonce thing yeah proving he doesn't need the destiny's children yeah that's that's basically what it is but uh but he I knew he would fucking he'd he'd he'd like to look at this what's wrong this looks like the fucking the back of a pretzel time yeah look what he did look like an underwear drawer yeah those are really of thongs

yeah he made a mess of the wires so all the mics are broken now I guess so well but anyways yeah no sound quality doesn't matter people don't care about sound quality They do.

You'd be surprised.

And then also with the old show, I would be like, fuck the quality.

I don't really care.

But with this, I'm trying to,

I'm all about

absolution and negation.

And I don't know what either of those words mean.

I don't know what they mean either.

Yeah, the old show,

I would, you know, it's like low effort, fucking everything.

High reward.

The more, yeah, the more it sucks, the better.

And with this, it's like, you know, balls to the wall.

Go make sure it sounds good.

Yeah.

Make sure, you know, I get my like fucking,

my, like, neurological issues sorted before I hit fucking record.

But.

Oh, you got good issues?

I don't know.

OCD?

You could be OCD.

No, I'm definitely not OCD.

Yeah, not at all.

It's funny if people have ever suggested that.

And it's like, I have like shit on my pants.

What do you mean?

I'm like, I've been wearing the same clothes for like a fucking week.

What do you mean my OCD?

You get a lot done, though.

Because I remember I saw you biking one time and you were fixing your car and like shipping t-shirts.

I was like,

that's a man.

It was a real man.

It's somebody that just stays busy instead of thinking about things.

But the

Austin?

Yes, Austin.

Yeah, I remember you moved to Austin sort of after me.

And Austin's like kind of a,

the whole, everyone was always like.

The vibe, what I hated about Austin is like, they were just like, once you did comedy for a year there, you got brought into this, like, into the scene.

And then it was like, they just had this shitty attitude to anyone that was new.

Really toxic.

It's like that whole thing that's happened in the last 10 years where the real bullies are the nerds.

Yeah, no, it's funny because I remember being like, Matthew Broussard, fuck this guy.

And I was like, all right, I guess fuck this guy, or whatever.

He was my friend saying it.

And then it was like, oh, no, you're actually like a good comic.

I appreciate that.

But yeah, no, I watched them do it to a couple of people.

Yeah, they just don't like, yeah, they love like low-effort comedy.

They love, at that time, there was like, they had their 10 minutes that only worked inside the perimeter.

They couldn't perform at bar shows and

suburban and rural areas.

Yeah, the Austin scene was kind of set up for like

peop at the time, because

like, you know, like people would get their contest set ready.

Yeah.

And then they would spend the entire year thinking about the funniest person in Austin contest.

And it's like, don't you want to be like a good comic?

Yeah.

Shouldn't you be thinking about like writing more than 10 minutes of material and not trying to like hang out with the Comedy Central people?

Yeah.

In one time in April and then you're just depressed for the rest of the year because you didn't get fucking the December finals, yeah.

Yeah, live at Gotham or fucking because they used to really hand shit to people in Austin.

They really did.

And as a Houston comic, we were very angry about that.

Yeah, well, it was funny because I remember moving to Austin, and I would go to,

I remember, you know, thinking, like, because Austin had this reputation as being a great comedy scene or whatever.

And I kind of stayed in Austin.

I remember the first time I went to Dallas, I was blown away at how fucking good the comedians in Dallas were.

I mean, it was unreal.

Like Paul Varghese, fucking Mark Agee,

Arian,

Arian Arian Pier, was it?

Aaron Ariana.

Yeah, whatever it is.

Destiny Barra, Tone Bell,

Nick Garra, yeah, just so many strong Osama Siddiqui, really strong comics came out of there.

Because they do like the bar shows, they go to places where it's kind of harder to do comedy, whereas the Austin comics were kind of coddled.

Well, they would write jokes.

They would write jokes, whereas in Austin, people would start with, like, you know, like,

this is what I want to sound like.

And then I'll figure out a joke, the basics later.

Yeah.

You know, so yeah, I remember.

And then, yeah, not only were all the Dallas comics very funny, they were all jacked.

All of them were like, yeah, they were all just mad.

I remember going to one show, and it's like, is everyone on this show a fucking firefighter?

I don't understand why they're all just massive.

There's another thing about Austin that someone pointed out to me later was that there was an alt scene, and there was the club, and the club booked the best alt comics.

So there was no divide between alt and club.

So there was that real, that was their core click.

Yeah.

They got to like cast you aside.

Yeah.

Like go in their little Facebook groups and be like,

we're nixing this person.

And usually Alton Club are good because they check each other.

Because whenever you hang around doing comedy for a while, you get someone, some loser tagging along your group you like, but you're not knowing them will admit publicly they're a bad comic, and that's when the other group comes out.

I think it was just, it's, it's like a group.

I mean, Austin suffered from getting that attention because, you know, people would want to go.

It used to be Austin was a cool place.

Yeah.

It really was.

Like 15 years ago.

So, you know, people want the Comedy Central want to go hang out there.

The fucking Bookers for JFL wanted to go hang out there.

And that's why Austin Comics got booked for these things.

It's not because they're better comics.

It's just because the spotlight happened to live in there.

It's because it's a cooler place to hang out than fucking Dallas.

Yeah.

You know, so Comedy Central is not going there.

You spend much time in Houston?

No.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever performed in Houston.

It's a great fucking city.

I'll be there.

It's ugly.

I'll be there in like three weeks.

Oh, where are you doing?

Houston Improv.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It's fucking, it's an awesome, the best food.

Yeah.

It's diverse.

It's got NASA, the world's biggest medical district, and

one of the, it has, yeah, oh, oh, and all the oil companies, so you have like really educated people.

I never understood that.

They launched the spaceships from Florida, but then Houston is like the mission control center.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's what they do.

I mean, that's what Cape Canaveral is in Florida.

Well, you know why they do that, right?

They go, Houston, we have a problem.

Yeah.

You know why they launched from Florida?

No.

Because the equator has higher higher rotational velocity.

Okay.

So if they could do it out of Kenya, it would be the best place.

Initially, you acted like you didn't even know that they were doing it in Florida, and then you have the exact reason why.

I know why they do it in Florida.

I have no idea why Houston's posted up at all.

I have no, yeah.

It's not like there's like many good schools around there.

It's got to be,

I guarantee it's some like fucking bureaucratic federal government bullshit where

some oil baron.

Yeah, Houston had some bid with NASA and then they had to fucking build the mission control center there or something.

Yeah, sure.

but that would fuck me up as a kid is because they're going to go, Houston, we have a problem, and you know, they launch it in Florida.

I'm like, well, who the fuck is Houston?

I thought that was a guy.

Yeah, I didn't understand that it was like, oh, it's in a different.

Also, in no way it's Houston.

It's probably like Katie or Umbel.

I doubt the NASA.

I don't know where it is.

We're getting real deep into Texas stuff here.

Fuck yeah.

Let's switch to Tennessee.

Let's mix it up so people don't get too lost.

I remember being,

when I was a call center guy, I had a fucking,

like, you know, he talked to these fucking retards that live, they have dial-up that live outside of Houston.

To help them with their

dial-up, I guess.

It was a call center.

It was like, you know, technical support for

like free dial-up companies.

Yeah.

For the place to be in the back of like guns and ammo, there'd be a fucking CD-ROM that we get you on the internet.

Jesus.

I hear my mom call those people sometimes, and I just feel so bad for the other person.

Yeah, it's so stupid at that.

It is the worst job in the world.

Honestly, I could not drink enough.

I was going to be blackout drunk and I'd be like, I can't stand being at work.

Do they, like, do they berate you?

I could probably,

how drunk I got, I could probably get raped violently by a group of people.

And obviously later it would cause massive amounts of trauma.

But in the moment, I'd be like, whatever.

I'm being fucking raped.

Yeah, it just feels

cozy.

But that job, no, I'm like fucking looking at the clock.

I'm like, maybe I'll just fucking clock out now.

Maybe I just, I couldn't handle it.

It sucked, dick.

Did you do a trunk?

What?

Could you do it?

Did you do it?

Well, I worked from home.

So

I worked back before that was a thing.

Yeah, no, you work for a while, you graduate to, and then, yeah, I would just start drinking at like 10 a.m.

Jesus.

And

it was when I lived with Chris Cubis.

In Austin.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah.

And so, yeah, I would take calls.

And there would be guys from like, yeah, like, yeah, outside Houston.

And there was a guy I I was talking to one time.

And he's like, well, you know, I'm in Conroe.

Where are you at?

Conroe.

And I'm like, I'm in Austin.

And he's like, Austin?

Well, I feel bad for you.

And they act like it's.

Yeah, I posted a video about Austin.

Yeah, I'm just like in a trans bathroom.

Right.

They're like, Austin's a liberal shithole fucking welfare state.

It's not Texas.

Now it's the Bay.

Now it sucks for different reasons.

Very different reasons.

It It sucked in a lot of different ways.

Well, you know, it's funny that those guys ended up being right about Austin.

That it was.

Then it turned.

Now what Austin is now is what they always like.

We're like, oh, that's what Austin is.

It's a bunch of me's.

It's a bunch of dudes who look like me, a bunch of tech bros running around.

They actually did take, they should have kept me out.

You know what it is?

It's rich Texas women with like their dad's oil face going to Equinox.

Yeah.

Just like women that look like Jeb Bush.

Yeah.

You know?

That's always because I went to

a private school in Atlanta and my parents always like told me

whenever I was like feeling like I didn't fit in, they were like, you have to understand these families have generational wealth.

So

it's the richest guy marrying the prettiest girl and then their kids are rich and pretty and then their kids will find

either the richest guy or the prettiest girl and they're just genetically better than you.

It's a kennel club that you can't compete with.

But every now and then, you're right.

You'd see that old,

whatever, plantation baron face on a young woman.

Yeah.

And always bleach blonde hair.

Is that better?

No, this thing is dead.

That fucking killed the board.

Yes.

And, well, they get inbred like Habsburgs or whatever.

Yeah.

So then they really start to look fucked up at a certain point.

Yeah.

They always talk about like poor people being inbred.

Rich people do it too.

Yeah.

Because they want to keep it in line.

Well, rich women from generational wealth, they they get that fucking, like, that thin-lipped, kind of William F.

Buckley mouth.

Oh, yeah, look like a bird.

Yeah.

Yeah, less like a bird, more like, you know, like a little dinosaur or something, like a proto-fucking bird.

Yeah.

You know, back when they were all flightless.

Also, it's kind of unfair that we put inbreeding just on white people.

I have this theory that white people are just so uptight about race that we're afraid to assume.

I figured out what the problem was.

Oh, you found it?

Yeah, I had a

decibel cut on this one.

Just in time for my racist theory.

Let's hear it.

The racist theory about why rich people do what?

No, why white people...

Inbreeding is such a, oh, that's what white people do.

I'm like, I think every race does that.

I think white people are just afraid to ask people of another race if they're related.

Yeah.

You know, we're like, I don't want to assume they're brother and sister because that'd be racist.

And then they just get away with incest.

Yeah, it's true.

It's like, how do they not, how do they know?

You know, because they all look so similar.

You know what I mean?

Do you have inbreeding in your family?

I don't think so.

I would imagine that I have inbreeding in my family.

I don't even know.

Probably.

I mean, it's a my grandparents were second cousins, I learned, at my grandma's funeral.

That's crazy.

And then my dad's well, those were the Jews.

Those were like Jews from Lithuania who came over in the 20s to get away from the, you know.

Why is it only the Lithuanian Jews that escaped?

It seems like every Jew is either they're like either Lithuanian

or Russian or like some kind of d dog shit desert thing.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I'd be like?

Because all the other, like, it's like, I'm Jewish.

It's like, no, you're a cab driver.

I don't, you don't.

Oh, the Sephardic?

Yeah, right.

Oh, yeah.

Well, they never got as persecuted.

They just stayed in the desert.

Like the Jews split up.

A bunch of dudes went to Europe or the Caucasus Mountains, and then they mostly bred with white people.

So as long as the mother was Jewish, they stayed Jewish.

It's so funny because if you weren't Jewish and you were saying all of these things, people would be like, this is the most racist.

This is one of those like Richard Spencer guys.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Because you look like a fascist.

I look very racist.

Yeah, I look like an old money racist.

Yeah, yeah, like the one who like organizes a rally but doesn't show up.

Um,

they uh oh, yeah, Jews, so Jews inbred a lot because their population bottlenecks so much.

And then Cajuns, which is my dad's side, apparently, like 300 Cajuns originally.

So, Cajuns were the French Canadians who were expelled from Acadia.

So, your dad's like a Cajun Jewish guy.

He's not Jewish.

Oh, he's just straight trash Cajun.

Oh, but he was like autistic and really good at chemistry.

I was imagining, like, like a Hasidic, a Jewish guy, and then it's like, then how is his son

Gregory Marmillard?

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I don't get that reference.

It's the bad guy from.

What about Jefferson Darcy?

Does that work?

Marmelard.

Is it Marmalard fucking Revenge of the Nerds or Animal House?

Oh, I know the reference.

Oh, yeah.

I know.

I can picture him.

Yeah.

Why the fuck can't I remember that?

So this is what I mean by neurological problems.

Yeah.

How the fuck can I remember the name Gregory Marmillard, and

I can't remember whether it's Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds.

I remember all the lyrics to all of the theme songs from the cartoons growing up.

It's Animal House.

Greg Marmillard is the bad guy in Animal House.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He was like a surfer.

I think I went on a Wikipedia binge on him.

He was like a surfer who dropped out of college.

Yeah.

No, I look French, so I just got all my dad's French genes.

But the Cajuns

got kicked out of Acadia and they all moved down to Louisiana.

And apparently there were like 300 of them originally, and now they've spawned hundreds of thousands.

So, like, there is, if you go up my family tree, you see Broussards in every direction.

So, that is like

that is inbreeding.

They're very inbred, yeah.

They're sort of the source, not very healthy, not very educated.

And then Beyoncé is a descendant of the Broussard.

There was like one Broussard who like read Led the Rebellion, Joseph Broussard.

He was like our hero, and then like his great-great-great-great-granddaughter is Beyonce.

So, that's not a fun story about why she's, yeah.

So, it's technically illegal for you to fuck Beyonce.

Because of.

Because it's incest.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, that's the only thing holding me back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So whenever people are like, you know, would you fuck Beyoncé?

You're like, well, yeah, obviously we've talked about it.

Yeah.

We're related.

My kids would come out beautiful.

Do you think she's hot?

Would you fuck Beyonce?

Yes.

But

I'm not like jaw-dropped over her.

You would think that your brain would be like, oh, gross, no.

Because she's black.

No, because you're racist.

Yeah, no.

Because you're related.

No, because she's half white.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Or whatever, part white.

Now, do you think you're on the black side or the white side?

What's that?

Do you think you're on the black side or the white side?

Of Beyoncé's personality.

Be careful with a black person.

Like, if you go...

I'm on the slave owner side.

Right, exactly.

Go tell a black person I'm actually related to Beyonce.

It's not fun.

And I do a bit on stage about how there's no famous Cajuns.

And I'm, except for like Ellen DeGeneres, I'm so afraid someone's going to shout Beyonce.

I'm like, like, yeah, that's a.

Yeah.

I remember reading a black girl one time, and like, she was black.

This girl was dark.

And her last name was like DeGian Batista or something.

And it was like, it's wild to imagine like just like just a fucking WOP slave-owning family at some point in the past.

Yeah.

They're like, dude, you did the fucking spaghetti wrong.

Yeah.

How do you fuck, how do you fuck up a ragu?

You know what I mean?

And it's like, because you know, they're written.

The reason Italians are racist now is because they never got that.

None of them.

He doesn't use a whip.

He whips off his Gucci belt and uses that instead.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

That's what that's why they've maintained.

I don't think any Italians actually owned.

There were Jewish slave owners.

I looked this up.

I did a show in Georgia.

You got to tell me, pal.

Yeah.

I didn't know.

Oh, really?

I didn't know.

I did a show in Georgia one time, and it was like a really Republican country club

crowd on the coast, and

political ideologies were up for clash but I the show went fine anyway I talked about the the south being anti-Semitic and some guy comes afterwards he was like

Benjamin Greenberg I don't know if you know that I'm making that but Benjamin Greenberg

but he had an actual name of a Jewish slave owner no he had it he had a name of the first Jewish senator who was

on the side of the Confederacy yeah I'm like hey we're not proud of him I'm gonna give this guy the benefit of the doubt and pretend that he was just preparing for Jeopardy but had never watched the show yeah had

Had no idea what kind of question

they were.

Racist Jews

were 400.

Katie, I come to dinner in a minute.

I'm memorizing all the Jew slave owners so I can win Jeopardy and finally buy us a slave of our own.

That's funny, man.

I did a show, a park show during the pandemic.

Hey, thanks.

Yeah, it was great.

It was great.

I did a park show during the pandemic.

And I was like closing out this park show.

It was going like decently well for a park show.

Yeah.

And I did.

How excited were those Shakespeare in the park fags for coronavirus?

They finally, finally.

Finally.

They're like, oh, this is going to come back.

Yeah.

I'm finally going to be the next Robin Williams or whoever the fuck did that.

It's my time to shout.

Because people, like famous people, it seems like started off at Shakespeare in the Park, I think.

Yeah, but about during the pandemic, like Alec Baldwin was like, let me do it.

That was the thing.

But the pandemic, a bunch of people like lowered, like movie stars started doing TV shows.

Theater comics started doing clubs.

So maybe they got edged out right away.

Yeah.

Tom Cruise had a job at Journeys.

He got bumped all the way down there.

Fuck, tough guy with his size four shoes.

Did this park show?

I had done like 10 minutes, and I was like, I'm Jewish.

Any Jews in the audience?

And a couple people raised their hand.

I go, oh, you're Jewish, you're Jewish, you're Jewish, you're Jewish.

Cool.

And the last girl was black, and I'm like, it's Brooklyn.

I'm not going to make anything out of it.

And then as I start the joke, she goes, bet you didn't expect a black girl to be Jewish.

I was like, oh, cool.

Which side?

Mom's side, both sides.

She was like,

she's an Ethiopian Jew.

I'm like, oh, cool.

That's great.

Yeah.

And I tried to start my set.

She was like, you know, you're very racist.

I was like, I didn't talk about race.

She was like, white people can't be Jews.

The only white people that are Jews were actually a group of white Caucasians.

She's like a Hebrew Israelite.

Yeah.

And she was spouting this whole thing about.

Meanwhile, I guarantee you, the most racist white guy in the room was like, Preach.

Preach.

Fucking church, sister.

The horseshoe spectrum is real.

You go all the way to one extreme.

They all sound alike.

And the funny part, she didn't even look at it.

I guarantee guarantee you, you cannot find a single like Nazi.

There is not a single far-right guy in the world

who has anything but absolute love in his heart for the black Israelites.

Dude, there's not a single one that's like, fuck these guys.

They all love them.

You know who David Duke is?

Yeah.

So the guy before him with that role?

Benjamin Greenspan.

That's right.

Is that a Jew?

Yeah, whatever.

No, I guess he can't be.

Yeah.

Oh, you're calling back.

Okay.

Yeah, right.

He said about the black Israelites, like, oh, yeah, they're the black version of us.

Yeah.

Yeah, basically.

It's so great.

My brother doesn't, he saw them on a corner one time.

He was like, oh, like other Jews.

And he started talking to him.

He was like, oh, this is a weird corruption of like eugenic racial purity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's odd.

It's hilarious.

I mean, I respect them because they're trolls.

Yeah.

That's all they are.

I got to do a little ad read real here.

Oh, hell yeah.

Real quick here.

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Sure.

Are you?

No.

Oh, damn.

I was going to ask you.

I don't give a fuck about anything anymore.

So I don't.

College ball for me.

Yeah, the campaign.

Well, I guess you can bet on that.

So if, yeah, if there's big game, what are you betting on?

You bet?

I'll bet on Alabama just for safety.

Okay, well, you can bet on Alabama at mybookie.ag.

And so here's the copy.

I'll just read the copy.

Sorry, Joey.

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I can't.

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So yeah, what are you betting on?

I'm betting on Alabama.

LCC all the way.

Now, is that based on your personal emotional connection to Alabama, or do you

think they're a better team to win?

I just think they're the best team.

Oh, okay.

Because it's all they do down there.

Is win.

Yeah, it's football.

Yeah.

You know, SEC.

They breed for it.

They select for it.

But Alabama isn't the only school in the South.

No, but it's like they have nothing else going.

Like Georgia has like technology and film and Florida has tourism and Alabama.

They got...

Well, they have NASA.

Yeah.

No, I remember stopping at a gas station in Alabama.

It could have been Mississippi, but I'm pretty sure it was Alabama.

And I've spent very limited time in Alabama.

Yeah.

And I was in there, and I was like,

is this the English language that people are speaking?

Yeah.

Which is worse, Mississippi or Alabama?

I think they're both kind of on par.

They're the same shape.

They're just like one.

It's like New Hampshire and Vermont.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's like they're the fuck, they just wed.

They're like, ah, this is two things.

Yeah.

I haven't done comedy.

There's only six states I haven't done comedy in, and those are the last two.

Vermont.

Those are two of them.

No, Mississippi and Alabama I haven't performed in.

Okay.

I performed in Mississippi.

I actually had a great time in Mississippi.

Yeah.

I figure the cities in those places are really cool.

Like some of the coolest cities you ever go to are like blue little bubbles in red states because they feel like they have to like make up for everything going on around them.

Except West Virginia.

I don't know.

I think a lot of them suck actually.

Like I heard, what is it, Mobile?

Is that the big city?

Mobile.

Yeah.

Huntsville, Mobile.

I was told that is a absolute shithole.

Biloxi.

Oh, yeah.

Sucks, dick, apparently.

That's where my family's from Alabama, so half my mom's side.

It's a shame because Biloxi is a great name.

Yeah, it is.

They have fun names down there.

All the Native Americans they wiped out.

They have stuff after that.

They have a more fun name because Jersey's got a lot of Native Americans.

Jersey's some of the names in that fucking state are absolutely retarded.

Like what?

Like Mawa or Raway or

Huhu Coo.

Hoo-hoo-ko.

Isn't there one?

There's a Jersey town that's like

Ho-Hokun.

Well, they're like a mix in New Jersey.

It's like either like Westminstershire

or like Makamawak.

There's a

the Midwest has a lot of Native American name cities, and they're very white.

Waukesha.

That was Waukesha when I went there one time.

Hoo-hoo-koon, I think is.

I think.

Oh, god damn it.

New Jersey.

Let me do it.

It's like Ho-Hok,

New Jersey.

Wait, is Hoboken?

Hoboken's probably also.

Connecticut's Native American.

Ho-Hokus.

Yeah.

Ho-Hokus.

Ho-hocus.

Is that?

Oh,

yeah, because a lot of the Aucus, Secaucus.

Yeah, but it's spelled H-O-H-O-K-U-S.

That's really dumb.

Yeah, Ho-Hocus.

Ho-Hocus.

Yeah.

But Secaucus, that's another dumb one.

Those are like really, what they consider a city in the Northeast is so much smaller than what they consider a city in the South.

Like Mobile is like, you know, you just drive through little towns in New Jersey.

There's so many little ones in Alabama.

What's the worst state?

The worst state in the world?

In America.

Hard to say.

I mean, I know Florida gets a lot of shit, but Florida is a lot of people.

Florida has a lot of good stuff.

Yeah, Florida's got a lot of good stuff.

And a big problem with Florida is that they have some open blotter, police blotter thing.

That's where Florida Man comes from.

It's not that they have more crime.

It's just that they're allowed to publish anything, supposedly.

Oh.

Yeah.

We got a lot of Florida facts.

Yeah, my.

But that's like weird too.

I feel like a compulsive liar because I have claims to so many states.

My brother went to Florida, my aunt and uncle.

But I know a lot of people that live in a lot of states.

And I'm not like, yeah, it's actually

because it's closer to the equator, the title wins.

Like, I don't know that kind of shit about it.

Well, I have no social skills in my brain, so I have a lot of room for unimportant facts.

So it's nice.

So what were you saying?

What do you think the worst state is?

West Virginia seems up there.

No, see, I disagree with you there.

Okay.

West Virginia is top five.

West Virginia is.

The people are nice, but

as a place, it's very poor, but

it's a beautiful state.

There's a lot of good music that comes out of there, like a lot of bluegrass and country.

They write about West Virginia.

Sure, yeah.

Then I put Alabama, Mississippi.

Probably the most famous, and

I've told this anecdote on the show a billion times, but the John Denver song, not really particularly.

It's probably the most famous

cultural touchstone as far as related to West Virginia.

Take Me Home?

Yes, Country Roads.

Wait, was West Virginia the one that sat out of the Civil War?

That's why they.

I think it was just a part of Virginia during the Civil War.

There was no West Virginia yet.

Oh, I thought the Civil War created West Virginia or something like that.

Maybe something like that.

Which is weird because I would imagine West Virginia is now more racist than Virginia.

Is it?

I don't think it's more racist.

Look up the most racist states.

Yeah,

it's just very poor.

But no,

I adore West Virginia.

I think yeah Mississippi Alabama though

Worst ones the worst states you think I think so they rank pretty low.

Yeah, yeah, no I'll I'll defend how much time have you spent in West Virginia?

Oh, I just drove through I'm fascinated by it.

I really want to go there.

Yeah,

it's really pretty.

I think I went to Wheeling and it was just like just so poor like they were like empty buildings on the riverbank.

Yeah, it's very sad.

I mean like the the level of poverty there.

I mean like West Virginia has towns where you know i mean it's like similar you know people talk about like flint but there's there's plenty of places in west virginia where they just don't have you can't like just you can't drink the water they just don't have really yeah yeah oh a ballad of uh billy the kid that's a billy joel song from a town known as wheeling west virginia is the opening lyric so that's he writes a lot about he kind of just shits on places yeah he does that he shits on women and places and like he just gets a pass for it and then the people there love it i mean like you know allentown famously yeah when you're not sharing

yeah he's like fuck allentown This place sucks, dick, and no one has a fucking job, and everyone wants to kill themselves.

It used to be cool, maybe back during the fucking, during World War II, when the only other thing going on was a fucking Holocaust.

But other than that, this place sucks.

And then he plays that song in Allentown, and they're like, yeah.

Yeah.

Fuck us.

You know, fuck this fucking town.

Just acknowledge us, please.

Yeah.

And it's weird because only a couple, you know, like artists get to do that.

And it's weird because Billy Joel is largely seen as sort of like,

I feel he's like, he's very earnest.

Yeah, very earnest, very like, you know, kind of like accessible, feel-good kind of music.

And, and yeah, he just shits, he just shits on places and people.

Yeah.

He's very cynical about people.

When you're not from a big town, though, you're just happy, because I grew up, I spent 10 years in Corpus Christi.

Yeah.

And I was just happy to hear the name, even if people were shitting on it.

I'm like, hey, if people acknowledge our existence, that's kind of a, that place could be better.

Yeah.

So you, you have you're from Corpus Kripsy

just like your entire childhood, you know?

Uh, ages three to 13, and then Georgia.

Oh, weird.

That's, yeah, I didn't know that.

Corpus is, that's like a, that's like a weird place to be from.

It's a weird place to be from.

Yeah.

A lot of people don't make it out.

It's like just cozy.

It's just enough of us, like...

They think they're a city until you leave.

Like, I didn't know.

It's barely a fucking...

I thought it was supposed to be a beach town, and it's barely.

It's the ugliest.

It's on the bay, and the bay is all like gulf oil.

The water is dark green it's the color of the wall yeah and it's just it doesn't seem to progress yeah it's it has one airport that flies to houston and dallas that's it uh-huh um

and it's 300 000 people they got selena well selena was born selena they got selena wasn't born there she was killed there they got a two-story water burger oh yeah that's near the statue of selena they also have um they also have uh

uh

oh no this is not even important I just did a show there, and they had an Outback Steakhouse.

Yeah, we were really excited when we got a Cracker Barrel.

That was a big fucking deal.

Yeah, no,

I remember going, I remember at that Outback Steakhouse, getting the Bloomin' Onion, and then also the Bloomin' Onion, the Bloomin' Burger.

What is that?

What's that like?

Bloomin' Onion?

They put the Bloomin' Onion on a burger, basically.

You're a healthy guy.

At the time, I mean,

those were,

I was just, I was doing, I was like hosting for Lucas Malandez, and then fucking Bryson was featuring.

Oh, yeah.

And yeah, I kind of just went along for the ride and then ended up sleeping the floor of the hotel room after

getting trashed all night at the show.

I don't even remember the show.

Yeah,

those were gay times doing stuff.

I don't know if it was Corpus.

It might have been you that soured your picture of Corpus.

No, well, maybe.

I mean, it was like, you know, I mean, I would have gotten drunk anywhere, but yeah, it's like, it's like, you know, we get, you know, you like, in your head, you're like, yeah, I'm a comic and I'm on the road.

And then you're like, this is a, this is the shittiest bar show.

Yeah.

Like, you know, I mean, even I wouldn't do this if it was in the town I lived in.

I did that in Houston.

We would go on runs.

I never got to do them, but they did The Valley.

They would do like the border, like run along the border and do shows there.

And that was hell of shows.

I did Paris, Texas once.

Great movie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's where my girlfriend's parents got married, I think.

To that movie?

To that movie.

They got married to that movie.

I don't know the movie, Paris, Texas.

It's weird that people don't get married two things, you know?

They fuck two things, but nobody nobody marries two things yeah they always said you know with gay marriage like we're worried people are gonna start marrying their horses i was like that'd be kind of cool yeah yeah

you could list it as dependent um

do you think that that do you think we're headed that way do you think people will marry their horses i don't know man it's gotten like that whole

I support gay marriage, I support all those things, but it's crazy how much it's escalated since the,

I guess my biggest fear is like people being able to identify as more than one person.

I'm not saying like non-binary, what I don't give a fuck about that, but like someone's gonna be like, I get to count myself twice on this voter form or something.

Like, I'm afraid we're gonna, because

the fundamental notion is the idea of the individual.

Every one of us is one person.

That's the only thing we can really count.

You can't, your soul can't be two things.

But what if like someone is just like, no, I call myself two people and I'm gonna be married to myself because we're two different people.

And your fear in that is that it'll fuck up the census.

Yeah, I like math.

Oh, okay.

I really like math, and I hate when people do stuff that fucks with math.

That might be more fascist than just being like, yeah, blacks are a lesser race.

Yeah,

I will do a lot of horrible things in the name of good day.

Anyone else who liked math is the people that built the adding machines that counted up all the Jews during the Holocaust who were probably, those are worse people.

Yeah, but it was probably, they probably got Jews to do it.

Yeah.

Against other Jews, which made them even worse.

Yeah.

They weren't just Germans who loved their job.

They were Jews.

You can always find a backstabber in any group.

Yeah, I bet there were.

Yeah.

I wonder if there were Jews that played ball in the Holocaust.

And they were like,

we'll get you a sweet deal out of the way.

Oh, I thought you meant like, was there a basketball team at Auschwitz?

Oh,

fucking.

Yeah.

That's what it when you said good ups.

I forgot that played ball is an expression.

Oh, played ball.

Oh, yeah.

Like when, yeah, like crooked politicians.

Yeah, I was imagining like a really shitty movie about like a...

like an upstart kind of they're like yeah we may be in the death camp but that doesn't mean we can't be the best damn the Auschwitz bobcats Yeah.

Yeah, just like slapshot, but with the Holocaust basketball.

They're like, look, we're all going to fucking die.

We might as well be the most violent basketball team.

Oh, yeah.

Fucking Paul.

Throwing elbows.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You ever see that movie Slapshot?

No.

Great movie.

God, I don't know any of your references today.

Well, the Holocaust was there was six million Jews.

But that didn't happen, right?

It's disputed.

I mean, I think it happened personally.

Personally?

Okay.

Yeah, personally,

I believe in the Holocaust, but I also still believe believe in Santa.

So the Holocaust is as real as Santa.

Yeah, yeah.

Famous, famous last words.

Why?

What happens?

Do you die after you say that?

If you say that three times, the Holocaust happens again.

Interesting.

So it's like a candyman.

Was it Candyman or is it Bloody Mary?

What was the Bloody Mary?

Do you remember Bloody Mary?

No, what was Bloody Mary?

I don't know.

Candyman was you say three times.

Yeah.

We said it twice, so we shouldn't say it again.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it was a Bloody Mary.

His girls would be like, if you say bloody Mary in the bathroom three times, the lights go out and the mirror fills the blood.

It's like, shut up, you dumb bitch.

That's not what happens.

All those dumb superstitions.

It's like astrology.

Women stay believing that shit.

You'd think they'd stop, but they continue with that throughout their whole lives.

Are you superstitious?

No.

No?

No.

I do one thing.

I judge people who are superstitious, but I say rabbit-rabbit.

I don't even believe in like actual provable causality.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm the same way.

I don't have.

I can't be like, oh, if I carry this, yeah, if I carry this lucky totem, something will happen.

I don't even believe, I don't believe it.

I'd be like, oh, if I drink and drive, something bad will happen.

Even though it's demonstrably true that something bad will eventually happen.

You're more likely.

But to me, nah.

No.

So how could I be superstitious?

I believe that.

I think I can smoke cigarettes for 20 years.

And if I quit now,

that it's like, well, you only get cancer if you smoke

until you get cancer.

Have I told you about these?

What is that?

Zinn?

Zin.

It's nicotine, non-tobacco nicotine pouches.

So it's like snooze, but there's no tobacco.

And it's very addictive.

I don't recommend getting started.

I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.

I just bought these at a gas station one day, and I've tried to quit three times now.

And

they don't know.

They don't know if it's bad for you.

Right now, there's no proof that it is bad for you, but I also understand that those industries will spend a lot of money to hide that information.

So

I am the guinea pig.

I am the experiment.

Well, that's like the vaping stuff.

Like they didn't, they didn't think the internet was going to be bad for people.

Now that's like...

It's maybe the worst one.

Like looking at social media now, like this is...

Have you seen the stuff that got released with like the whistleblower?

The what with the Google whistleblower?

The guy that dresses like fucking Willy Wonka and the kid that he turned into a blueberry?

What?

That fucking guy?

The guy that was...

Oh, no, the fucking...

The guy that was like, oh, Google made an AI that's real.

And everyone was like talking talking about it seriously for a week.

And then a picture of the guy came out and everyone just stopped talking about it.

Oh, yeah, that was bullshit.

I'm not worried about AI because even if AI gets really smart, it doesn't have motivation.

Yeah.

So what were you talking about?

So Instagram, someone at Instagram released internal documents, maybe it was Facebook, of like they knew the addictiveness of it.

They knew that.

that they only make money off of clicks and views.

There's no quality control.

So if you make things as upsetting as possible, people can't log off.

And if they get angry enough, they leave comments.

And if they leave comments, they see more ads.

They knew all of this and they acted off of it, which is, you know, not surprising, but just to see them explicitly say this in their internal memo is like, oh, you're as bad as the cigarette companies.

You're as bad as

I also think like junk food companies will hopefully will one day look at them as being as evil as

tobacco was, as the global warming-denying oil companies are.

You think it will look at social media or the internet as a whole?

whole?

Social media more, because

YouTube can be good.

Yeah.

You can find good shit on YouTube.

But that is social media.

Yeah, okay.

Sorry.

What would be the bad internet that's not social media?

I almost forgot.

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No, is it fun?

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That sounds kind of

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Now it's my turn to say very, that's very funny, instead of laughing.

Yeah, white mang da.

But it sounds like an Asian guy being like, white man dai.

Oh, yeah, it sounds like a character that a white guy.

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Is it a drink?

Yeah.

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They also come with capsules and like these little tabs that are just the powder pressed into like a Smarties basically.

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I have no idea what that is either.

Oh, yeah.

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So if these were if it was a collection of people so dedicated to whatever this fucking shit is that they formed a kennel club basically.

And they sit around taste testing it.

Yeah, then then you know then you know it's uh that they got high standards.

So what was the shit we smoked in college'cause weed wasn't legal?

I don't know.

I didn't go to college and smoked stuff that you didn't?

No, yeah.

What

do you mean, swag or K2?

Maybe it was K2.

It's not weed, but it was legal and it was not legal for a long time.

I was just going to bring it up.

Salvia.

Yeah, I was going to bring this up.

When I moved to Texas, it was only a thing that I had never seen it until I moved down there, but I was blown away.

You can get an ounce of shitty weed for like $60 in Texas, which had been a thing I had never seen.

So maybe.

Is that what you're talking about?

Are you talking about something that's not?

I'm talking about salvia.

Oh, okay.

Which you could buy at gas stations and it was highly unregulated.

Could you buy salvia at gas stations?

I thought you could buy it.

It was more legal.

I've actually never done salvia, but I was under the impression it was like, you know, it was you take a hit and then you hold it and then you like you're gone.

You like lose consciousness.

It's like way more intense than weed.

Yeah, but very short, I think.

Yeah.

What's the one that you smoke and you get high for a minute and it's like super trippy?

DMT.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's fun.

Do you still do you avoid drugs now?

Yeah, all of that, like

really hallucinatory or psychoactive shit like really i just have no interest in doing any of that you just not you don't have fun with it no really the only since i quit drinking 10 years ago the only thing i would do is cocaine and then i kind of went off the rails last year and then um as of february i haven't done any cocaine but last last year i was doing it like fucking every other day for it's expensive I was just around, dude.

I think cumulatively in 2021, I probably spent like $500 on cocaine.

That's not much.

Yeah, it's just, it was just, it was just fucking constantly around.

Jesus.

Yeah, it was all over the city, dude.

Like, everyone, you know, it's making a comeback.

Yeah, I mean, especially, it seemed like when people found out there was fentanyl in it, that people started doing it more.

Yeah, it's scary, dude.

Yeah.

It was funny because going, and I've made this point, but going into the pandemic.

Like, you know, if you're like, you're like, I felt like, look, you shut the economy down, you take people out of work, they're going to be home.

Like, drug deaths are going to go up.

And it's not my, like, I have the four, you know, like people predicted that, yeah, drug deaths are going to fucking go up.

And you imagine drug deaths going up, and you think, like, yeah, the guy that lost his job at Walmart doing, you know, fucking the heroin out in the woods.

Yeah, he's making $500 a week doing nothing.

Yeah.

And then I look around, like, me and all of my friends are just now fucking just drug addicts.

Yeah.

There's all these warnings about, like, oh, there's fentanyl in the Coke.

There's, there was a comedian's, I remember there was a, like, remember some girl in like three comics out in LA, they died from, like, fentanyl.

And then I think I was like.

You got a comedy in the Blowfish's Yeah, I think I went out and did drugs at night.

It's like, you just don't, like, I didn't even think about it.

But I don't fuck with cocaine.

I have gotten more substance-dependent, like, in the last year or two.

The pandemic was very weird.

And it's like, I don't, and I think a lot of the problem is that, like, nobody really made any kind of like good, like, pandemic art.

Nobody's really done anything that really addresses like on an emotional level.

the sort of shared trauma of the last two years.

And because it was this global thing that everyone was subjected to.

everyone.

No one was exempted from COVID.

It was really horrible.

It's like, and that's, it's kind of like, you know, certainly in

the scope of modernity, like unparalleled.

There's, you know, we haven't had like a global fucking plague like that, you know, so highly condensed, regardless of like the,

you know, like fatality rate of COVID or whatever.

COVID was this global kind of shared trauma that affected everyone's life.

And there's, because it affects everyone, there's no way to really think about like, what what is the impact of that on me?

Yeah.

Or as an individual, because

it's like a fish in water.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, you don't notice.

I mean, it took a toll on me.

I think that's why part of why I started doing nicotine, I started doing more acid.

Though I don't think acid's a terrible thing.

Therapy became really popular.

A lot of little things have changed that I forgot.

Like therapy is like super popular now.

It's the...

I just went to see a therapist

yesterday.

First time?

Yeah.

Really?

I mean, here and there

I've gone to a therapist for the quote-unquote the first time, like maybe two or three times in my life.

But I think I'm going to try and just stick with it this time.

Mainly because it's like I'm so busy these days that I have to outsource my

introspection.

I feel like I don't, I really do not have the time to sit around thinking about how I feel anymore.

I do think happiness is based a lot around just being too distracted to analyze yourself to.

I think your self-analysis.

Over-analysis is one thing, but my problem is that I'll like,

like, and I think I, I don't know if I've said it, but I'll like, you know, I just did, I did Helium in Philly, and that's like, that's my favorite club.

When I was like in my early 20s going there, that was like such a big deal to go.

You know, I loved it.

I had a great time.

And like, now I've gotten back into stand-up, but now I can like sell out and I have my own audience.

I can go to Helium and Philly and sell out all the shows.

And it's great to be back.

And like, and those shows were good, with the exception of like, I feel like, you know, the late show Sunday, I didn't, I wasn't really hitting, but the rest of it, it was like fun.

And it's like, you know, I should be able to

be like grateful and happy or whatever.

And I'm not.

And then your head is like, well, is it this?

Am I like dissatisfied with this?

Like, what is it?

And the fact that I can't like pinpoint why I'm not able to enjoy this thing is like indicative of like, I don't, I really don't have a grasp on what I'm feeling at all.

And of the last, like, two years, it's like, I've just let, you know, just one thing after another kind of pile up in my personal life.

And I just fucking like, okay, either, you know, yeah, drugs or work or like, I'll, you know, like, just consume media or something.

I've distracted myself too much.

And so, yes, there's like

certainly you can spend too much time like fucking over analyzing yourself or nasal gazing to the extent that you you like exacerbate fucking depression, but I really don't think that's my problem.

Okay, yeah, that's my problem.

I'm not busy enough.

And I typically seem to, when I'm stressed or overworking, at least I'm not like depressive and being like, well, why can't you appreciate things?

So maybe I need to get...

And you got to be careful, too.

If you do, like, you know, creative work or whatever, and you try to, because I have friends that, you know, clearly they're depressed.

Like my friend like came and helped like, you know, like work on this stuff.

And I, you know, I don't know if he's depressed or not, but like you can tell when somebody's like stressed in their life and like, you know, some people turn to drugs or alcohol or some people just like bury themselves in work.

And that can be like even more nefarious because it's like you can tell yourself, like, I'm making money, I'm being productive, or whatever.

And it's like, okay, well, yeah, but you're like just not addressing your fucking mental health.

You're sleeping like four days a week.

You're causing problems in your interpersonal life because it's like, well, you can just say it's work.

It's a sort of like noble pursuit.

But even when like doing creative work, there's another poisonous aspect of it.

It's like, if you, if I'm like fucking like, okay, the show, the Adam Friedland show, I'm going to put everything everything I can into this instead of like thinking about things and go 100%.

I can work.

I can work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work and throw everything into it.

But the second it's done, like each iteration of it or whatever, and I watch it back and it's like whatever feeling of escape working on the thing gave me, I'm not seeing it.

It's not as funny as I want it to be.

It's not like it's just a thing.

It's just another thing.

Then that like fucking kicks my legs out from under me even way, way more than like, you know, if like within where I started.

started because then it's like oh well i you know it's like this is fake too i might as well fucking you know go get fucked up or whatever but yeah these see these are the reasons why i do think i need to like you know i just at this point i just have to like be like talking to somebody kind of regularly well it sounds like you're a toxic mix of both because my girlfriend is like you she works too hard and then she's tired and stressed and the only way to cope with that is by working even harder yeah until she just spins out and crashes yeah that's how i do that yeah and well, she's she's a creative to she does comedy, but that's not her day job.

But like what you do is a mix of both because that's what I do is, you know, stand-up is my primary thing.

And you can work and work and work on stand-up and it's still not good enough.

Like for most jobs and tasks, if you put in the proper work, you have a product that is complete or near complete.

With creative work, you can put a year into something and be like, oh, this is complete dog shit.

I hate this.

There's no completion.

Well, that's what I mean.

And it'll always be that, unless you're a shitty comic.

It'll always be that.

But that's why with any creative work, regardless of what you do, you have to be very careful, like making it like

this is going to be the thing that has to make me happy or is a distraction from these negative feelings I have.

Because even if you do, if you were happy in your personal life, you're never going to be fully satisfied with your work.

No.

So you're operating in a very dangerous place if you're fucking depressed and you're like, okay, I'll just throw myself at my stand-up.

Yeah.

Because the stand-up's never going to be good enough.

Never.

It'll be never good.

Yeah.

Then you'll, yeah, like, you know i mean i'll just repeat myself at this point and then you go on instagram and you see people who are uh way better than you'll ever be with more success and more money and then you really hate what you're doing yeah yeah that shit's a terrible cycle i've never done i've never really done therapy yeah which i'm a big softy i really should i really should but yeah i just i need to i need to do something i mean it's like fucking because at a certain point it's fucking irresponsible i mean it's like you know like i have the resources i can go do like i don't want to be a fucking like burden to the people in my life or whatever because it's like my head's fucked up um what do you do to the people in your life nothing it's just you bum people out yeah that's what i do i'm just i just call and complain yeah even when things are when good things happen i'll still be like and i'm really annoyed about this aspect of it yeah it takes people i love to be like shut the fuck up dude you're you're bragging and that's your complaint yeah right exactly yeah no it's like you know you should be able to like

you know like well you should i don't know maybe it's like you know like okay well you're an adult put your fucking problems aside.

But, you know, if like you, if you can't do that, and then it's coming out anyways, then it's like, you know, yeah, maybe I should, maybe I should go find some kind of resolution.

Do you wish you had a job that you could just do and not care about?

Like, I wish I had a job that could be done.

I wish I could be an engineer sometimes.

No,

what I wish is that I could have some kind of consistent appreciation for what I do have, which is like,

I am grateful for it, but often like gratefulness is like sort of this like exercise, and it doesn't, like, it should come naturally.

It's like, it shouldn't, you shouldn't force yourself to, like, you shouldn't have to do like a count your blessing sort of thing.

I should be over the fucking moon that I'm in the position that I'm in.

And it's mostly the fact that I'm like not that makes me feel like, well, what's wrong?

Like, what the fuck is wrong that I can't, you know, and that's, that's what I want to figure out.

Because it's not, it's not just simple, like, you know, the necessary dissatisfaction you have with your work to continue, to make you continue working.

It's not that.

It's like there's, there's just,

it's just, yeah, like other, there's something else.

There's something else that, that, that, you know, it just makes it like, you know, like, why, like, why am I still, why are there still days where I'm like, yeah, I should just kill myself.

You know what I mean?

It's like, it shouldn't be like that.

Yeah, and, and there's that, I,

the more success, I, I, like, I look at success.

I'm like, am I less happy the more successful I am?

Which is a really alarming thing.

I don't think there's any relationship for for me i mean it's like it's i think it's just you know there's like there's other you're always going to just be a person yeah and you're going to have natural cycles of discontentment yeah sure but your own like you know personal life and stuff you know it's like i don't think i don't think i would be any happier if i had a quote-unquote like just job i could go to it'd probably be way worse you know yeah yeah i wonder what that would look like i got i got into comedy so young that i don't i don't know how that would feel i got into comedy young too but i mean it didn't work out for a very long fucking time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, stand-up was never the thing for me.

You know, I mean, it's like I was like very passionate about it, but either I lack like charisma or whatever.

I mean, I could write jokes, but there was just something that didn't,

I wasn't, I don't have whatever thing makes you,

you know, able to be like just a stand-up.

And then I got here and I started getting work writing and stuff.

And then eventually, you know, the podcast.

Oh, yeah, we worked together on a show you were writing.

Did we?

Comedy knockout?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you were writing for that for a little while.

Yeah, I didn't really know.

I feel like you were making more money off your podcast than off that job.

Oh, yeah.

That was just, that was actually a very fun job.

Yeah.

JP McDade.

Yeah, that job was, I mean, it was so low stakes.

And I didn't, I didn't, it's, I like,

I actually contributed almost fucking nothing.

Yeah.

I would just show up and hang out, and then you would prep comics.

So then I would go down, like, half the people in the writer's room, I don't think, were comics.

So it's like those of us that were.

That's so weird to write jokes and not do stand-up to me.

Because I would not know how to write jokes if I were not on stage testing everything to see if it was.

Yeah, it's weird because I've met several comedians that have this mindset that, oh, comics, they're better writers.

And then you get in a writer's room with people that are like are just those like

machines?

Well,

the Ivy League comedy writer guys.

Lampoon dudes.

Yeah, maybe not necessarily the lampoon, but definitely the Ivy League guys that want to be comedy writers.

And they're very normal people.

And then you see the work they produce and you're like, oh, this is why you're here.

Like,

they're just better at it.

I mean,

to the absurdity of thinking, well, I'm a very good comedy writer.

I could be a good stand-up.

In the way that's not true, it's often not true that just because somebody's a good stand-up, they know how to go write for a fucking TV show.

I wrote for one show, and

I wrote for the Roast of Alec Baldwin.

I didn't get a single joke on.

I had some I was proud of, but it was an awful process.

And you were a writer, a staff writer on the show, or you wrote for one of the people on it.

I wrote for the show, staff writer for the show.

One week of whatever guild work.

We just sat in the room just typing silently.

We didn't work together, really.

They would just say, write jokes all day about whoever, either 16 people or whatever, you know, combinatorically, this joke, this person, joke about this person, about this person.

They didn't give us much assignments at first.

And every day at 10 a.m.,

we would just read through all of the jokes we had all submitted out loud and see what got a laugh.

And it was not a very fun process.

Yeah,

I worked on Moshe's show, and like they was there with,

I remember they like would assign me they would have me and then Jess Dweck go write like a monologue and then I would go like, you know, we go off separately and I would just like write something so it look like I did something for an hour.

Right.

I'm like, I don't know type words.

I'm like, I literally have no idea how I got this job.

Like I don't I don't know how to just sit here and write.

Dude, how the fuck?

I can bounce with someone.

Here's the thing.

I can sit around and be funny.

Yeah.

I haven't done it in the last hour, but

I can do that, you know.

But like to sit down and then Jess would come back, who's like the polar opposite where she just

Jess is very talented, extremely fucking good writer.

She seems.

She just stand up?

I don't know if she does stand up.

She just, she just seems like just

off, just completely, you know, like it's like,

like, are you enjoying any moment of.

Oh, just mechanical, militaristic.

Yeah, kind of, but then, you know, you'd see her eye.

I mean, she's just very fucking tight.

Like, you know, they're just jokes.

Like, so we'd be turned in and it would almost be like you know in like the simpsons with the fucking like uh lisa's friend who's like dad is rich and like

she's like really smart and they're like okay uh michelle time to play the anagram game the the fucking the the

the alleginess joke genuine class genuine class and then jeremy irons yeah i mean that's how it felt she's turning in genuine class and i'm struggling to relay a simpsons joke that i've seen a billion times yeah you know

Yeah, that's writing jokes is like writing jokes just for the sake of writing jokes is like the most miserable.

You just hate yourself.

You instantly start hating yourself.

You're like, let's just try to think of something funny.

And this voice in your head is just like, you suck.

The world's not fun.

You got a heart out at nine.

So I want to thank you for being here.

Hey, thank you.

Apologize to the fans of the show that had to sit through just

my meandering.

talk about mental problems and West Virginia.

But

Matthew Broussard, you saved the show.

Thanks for coming.

Hey, thanks for having me.

Thanks for $500.

You got anything you want to plug?

Yeah, I'm going to be in Texas, San Antonio, Austin, and Dallas in October.

Tickets at Broussard.live.

Very good.

I will be at Indianapolis this Friday and Saturday at Helium Indy.

Buy those tickets next week.

I'm at Zaney's, Nashville.

And then I think after that, the improv in Houston.

And as always, if you want to check it out, Adam worked very hard on it.

He

went above and beyond and produced a very special episode of the Adam Friedland Show that you can check out.

He did it this weekend on patreon.com slash TAFS

for the Adam Friedland Show.

It's patreon.com slash T-A-F-S.

Thank you guys.

Good night.

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