Ep. 262 – wuhwuh

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Sucks!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com

Suck my dicket mass

and call me a little faggot.

Make me suck your dick and balls.

Make me suck your fucking penis.

We're

Charlie and the chocolate factory.

Charlie and the in the semen factory.

Charlie and whose Charlie and the penis factory?

Whose cock do I gotta suck around here a locker lottery factory?

And

it's the story of

Adam.

Yes, it is that.

What do you got?

Looking at your mail?

um my uh i'm doing oh your meal check-ins meal check-ins nice let me look oh breakfast a bowl of semen no lunch a bowl of a bigger bowl of semen

and asparagus to make my piss smell and taste better

yes so uh on today's episode of chapo trap house we're joined by dave weigel to discuss the trailer for the in the heights the watching

once upon a time

i have to piss.

This is far away land

called Washington Heights.

Washington Heights.

Washington show.

Which is like.

He's speaking English the whole time.

He's speaking English, but also it's like that's not how George Washington said his name.

So true.

Well, I mean, I understand.

It's not like a...

It's not like a Spanish word.

Right, right.

Well, that's what...

Why would you choose that name to throw a little fucking stank on it?

Yeah, the rest of it.

Just all the other words.

I agree.

It made it making.

We're doing the show and I'm going to piss, so you got to tag in right now.

It doesn't make any sense.

What are you talking about?

We're talking about the In the Heights trailer.

Let's discuss.

Let's discuss on today's episode of Chats.

In a faraway land

called Washington Heights.

Washington Heights.

Because he just says heights.

He chooses that word.

Yeah, it should be heights.

It's corny.

I agree.

He's like, I was walking down the street and I came up to this stomp sign.

Why that one?

It's not that it's corny.

It's also not like.

It is corny.

It doesn't make any sense.

That's what bothers me about it.

Well, no, because it's a Puerto Rican-Dominican neighborhood, so that's how they pronounce it.

So therefore, it becomes theirs.

Yeah, but that's also how they pronounce every other thing in that sentence.

That's exactly my problem with it as well.

I guess symbolically, he wants to throw a little stank on the neighborhood.

Listen, the point is, it's Lynn Manuel Miranda.

There's a fucking dwarf.

So it doesn't disappear.

Washington Heights.

And then the kids say it wrong.

They don't say it right.

No, they don't say it.

They say

Washington Heights.

Yeah, well, they say Washington Heights, but he's in Puerto Rico

with actual Puerto Rican kids.

And he's telling them, say it.

And they say it in the colonized way.

Yeah, in the settled colonial way.

What I will say is.

What's up on Washington Heights?

If at the break of day I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away.

Pop the grape at the cracker dawn singing while I wipe down the awnings.

Hey, yo, good morning.

Ice coffee, laugh, caddy, strawberry, and just for today, I got my lace.

It's a story.

It's like, so this is, it's just a whole musical about what it's like to ride the subway and buy toilet paper.

I don't...

Because like, what about this is like distinctly

we can, I don't, yeah, like...

How to clean clean a floor with fabuloso yeah they're like when you're waiting to cross the street and there's there's rats because there's a garbage problem in the city yep and also now what and this andrew yang guy what's his deal

what's the

when is this like supposed to take place um i i think a block that was disappearing the genius is back yo he should say his esco out right now

There's something on your shirt.

And of course the guy's a cop.

The guy's like a cup.

Now we're getting into what this really is because they layer all this Puerto Rican bullshit over the real story, which is a guy that doesn't get any pussy.

Which is fucked up.

I'm not trying to watch media like that, bro.

I'm trying to watch pussy getting media.

Which also, it's like, is that even true?

Like, you probably

the one.

Yeah, you were probably the one.

Lim Manuel is probably the one guy in Washington Heights that had this problem.

Oh, right, right, right.

This is a kind of...

Because everyone else there has three families.

Absolutely.

It's like a Chinese guy that's like, yeah, I just feel like there needs to be more Asian representation.

Here's a musical about what it's like to have the biggest dick in the UK.

Which is,

maybe it's just me, but I don't know.

Yeah.

Smooth operation.

Oh, so this is an avatar for Lin Manuel, this guy.

We all had a Swenito.

And when it came to dreams, we had to keep it.

This guy is so much sexual.

Maybe this label is changing forever.

Maybe tonight is our last night.

I feel like in 10 years, it's going to be like, you know, he's going to be like the Joss Whedon of Little Puerto Rico.

He kept making jokes about putting his fingers

into my pussuasa.

I didn't know what that meant because neither of those are English words that he was.

Yeah, yeah.

Joss wasn't trying to fuck, right?

He was just a mean gay guy.

He was a man with girls' minds.

Oh, no, is he gay?

He was gay.

He's not gay.

No, he he the guy who did buffy the vampire slayer is not gay he cheated yeah what's the effort

they're talking about who did he fuck all the dreamers it's time to make some noise

and this is where it really starts to bother me is when the dancing starts

when it's you know we have to assert our dignity in small ways his choreographed dancing of any kind is fucking lame i don't i dude i don't know how do you feel about the beijing opening ceremonies then?

Yeah, that was

one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

And it was mostly feats of strength.

That was

drums.

So wildly choreographed, these people couldn't go to the bathroom, dude.

They were fucking all taking diapers.

That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Yeah, but see, they're mentally choreographed.

You know, so it doesn't even, that's just an extension of something they're already doing.

I know,

so true.

That's true.

That Lynn Lynn Manuel style of rap singing is the moment when you do better than me.

I have to go to the bathroom, but my dick is too small, and my balls are small too.

And I showed you my dick, and you laughed at it.

And you put the pictures online, and now I'm crying because everyone's making fun of me.

My little pee-pee is too small,

and so are my balls

in Washington Heights.

In Washington Heights.

I will say that.

Let me take a picture real quick.

Before I got the Yankee fitted, I would have laughed at someone saying Washington Heights.

But now the city has really changed.

But you got the Yankee fitted.

I got the Yankee fitted.

Now I go to Chelsea Pierce.

Chelfie.

No, I go to Chelsea Pierce.

I live in Chelsea Heights.

Yeah.

I want to tell you about a neighborhood called Chelsea.

This is where I see that.

It's a neighborhood that's disappearing.

It's called Chelthy.

Say it so it doesn't disappear.

Chelthy!

Chelthy!

That's right.

That's right, kids.

And it's about being a

57-year-old gay man that's done every generation of HIV medicine

and now owns seven buildings.

And now he's the richest man in the world.

It is funny.

I see them at lunch all time.

They love lunch.

They love going out.

They love meeting each other at lunch.

Going to meet at lunch.

Just sitting there.

And they're always happy.

They always use their phone the same way.

They're always sitting there.

People can't see what you're doing.

But Nick is just, he has perfect posture.

His breasts are out.

Everyone's like,

They always do that.

They got the perfect posture, the tits out, and then just like smi making the tiniest smile at their phone as they can.

Gay guys look at their phones

and crunch, waiting for their friend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's also the thing that they're gonna live forever.

There's also the thing the gay guys do when they're on, they'll use they talk on like the phone, never use AirPods, always the wire headphones, and then they hold the they hold the mic.

They do hold the mic.

And then for whatever reason, they walk when they do it, and when they're walking, the other arm has to like sway wildly.

Yeah, yeah, like it adds like this extra counterweight to their

still exactly, it adds this unbalance to their gait to be on the microphone, yeah.

So, they're like, I'll talk to Todd, and then you can figure out where we're having mimosis.

Yeah, they do love to hold the little microphone right to their mouth, they do.

Another thing about them is they uh they're fucking degenerate.

Yeah, that's so fucking

correct.

No, we're just just that part is only Lynn.

Only Lynn.

Only Lynn.

He's not gay, is he?

No, I think that's no.

No, he's he's he's probably, I'm telling you, the thing,

yeah, sex best.

Yeah, yeah, and you can't really

say shit like that because it's fucking libel or whatever, slam, whatever the fucking lawyer can get on Minecraft, yeah.

On Minecraft, this guy rapes girl.

So, wait, Joss Whedon got pussy?

I think he's

going to see a future that I think was like.

You made all of this?

This is me.

He's like, you made all of this?

And it's just her bedroom, and there's like four drawings of dresses.

I thought it would be a funny scene in a movie where somebody goes into somebody's apartment and they have like a bookshelf with like seven, eight books on it.

And they're like,

did you read all these books?

Two of them, yeah.

And I'm working on these.

Not even.

Just have it hit where the person that can't process them with a question.

No, they're calling, the critics are calling this the event of the summer.

That's what I've been calling it.

I mean, people love to fuck.

Once something is

seen as good.

Like everyone said Hamilton was like the best thing that's ever fucking been made.

See, I thought the event of the summer was going to be in three weeks when Dr.

Joe Biden is raped by President Xi.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

I thought that would be Is that on the docket?

I don't know if that's on the books.

I've got some of my little birds, a little Chinese bird.

Some of your sources in Chinatown?

It would be funny if that happened and Joe Biden had to be like,

this has to stop.

That was the love of my life.

Yeah, this has to.

This can never.

This is the last time that this happened.

Dude, Joe would get the fucking nukes out, dude.

You don't take Joe's pussy.

Joe would offer to fist fight.

Would you see that video of him selling that nine-year-old girls

sexy?

No, Jesus Christ.

Joe?

No, it's not it's honestly it's like a harmless video.

People are making some out of nuts.

Well out of con I mean out of what you said, that sounds horrible.

He's he's just like so

fucking like deranged.

There's a little girl at something and I guess she's just she has like she's dressed like she would be in a diet she just like looks like put together or whatever.

So all Joe's trying to say is that you know like oh look at her You know, it's like cute that a kid looks like a fucking adult or

going to see the president or whatever.

But he's like, look at her there with her little pigtails like a 19-year-old

with her legs crossed.

It's like, just, come on, man.

Come on.

People are.

No, he didn't use the term sexy.

No, no.

Okay, I was going to be like, god damn.

No, no, no.

You live by the rules.

Money will come.

The things will come.

You ready?

I've been saving up all my pennies and my piggy bank for this day.

Today's all we got, so we cannot stop.

This is a block in life.

I think it's like

I also never want to be any part of a community ever.

So that, what do you mean?

Why?

You're part of the tapestry of Bed Stye.

Absolutely.

One of the pillars.

You're one of the pillars of the community.

Of course you are.

I would love to be part of a community.

See, I don't like that.

Why not?

I'd love to be part of a separate community.

I think it's a slippery slope.

You have communities and then you have nations and then you have fascism.

That's how Israel started.

But the Jewish community.

Yeah.

Every man,

you really want to fight against it, you got to be a cowboy, dude.

Yeah.

Right.

Like your own compound.

You got to be in West Texas.

On a steel horse I ride.

That's right.

I'm a cowboy.

Just me and all the other communities.

On a man's cock.

Me and all the other individuals individually listening to Bon Jovi in concerts.

That guy's a real outsider.

Yeah.

A real outlaw.

Imagine you're in a saloon in the Wild West and Bon Jovi comes in.

In five seconds, that man would be sodomized.

Oh, yeah.

He's hotter than any woman in the Wild West.

That's got to be the prettiest woman I ever saw.

He and I heard a story.

His ass is probably so clean compared to a prostitute's pussy in the 1800s.

About a man claiming to have had sex with Josh Bon Jovi.

Who claimed to have?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

Yes.

Can you fill me in here?

No.

No, he can't.

No, he can't.

What the fuck?

It's a secret.

It's a secret.

You just said it on the fucking podcast.

No, all I'll say is that a man claimed to have sex with John Bonjovio.

Well, don't say who the man was.

Just keep going.

I don't know even what the man's name was, but we heard tell

of a man,

and it sounded like he was making a joke, and then they thought about it, and they were like, did he fuck John

Bonjovi?

Interesting.

He's very funny.

Do I know this person?

You don't?

No.

No, it's

Nick and I.

He's one of my secret associates.

Yeah, I got with a couple rough customers.

Don't

go any further on that.

Interesting.

You have a secret associate that talks about having sex with men, huh?

With John Bon Joe.

Okay.

And it's Teresa.

And you don't want to get into it.

Let's not make something.

And you two don't want to get into it.

You're not going to do something crash.

You have a secret associate.

Fuck.

I don't even want to hear it.

I got to calm down now.

I'm just saying, man, it's a little fucking

filters through.

So light die.

All right, I'm better.

You feel better now.

You feel better, too?

Okay.

Well, if you ever need a timeout later on.

Like, I want to watch WrestleMania in 2007.

Dude, yeah, hell yeah.

Who's in the main event in 2007?

Triple H, maybe?

Probably.

That's what it was good.

You know, I remembered Finger 11 out of nowhere the other day?

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

I was taking a shower.

I'm like, yeah, that boys are gay band.

Wait, what was their song?

They had a big one, didn't they?

They did.

I can't even fucking, I can't, like, I don't remember the name of it.

I just had to look them up, but you'll recognize.

It was about an 11-year-old.

Yeah.

It's actually

their number one hit, Tom Sizemore.

Tommy motherfucking Size More.

Finger 11.

Paralyzers.

I'm not paralyzed, but I'm a fucking fat.

I'm gay.

You know that song?

Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.

Oh, yeah.

I hold on some nothing.

I suck on the man's own dick.

A girl I dated once told me about seeing a big fat guy in a doorless Jeep Wrangler

blasting this.

That man just was having the time of his life.

That sounds a little bit different.

Free from fucking society's judgment, dude.

Fat as shit.

Win through his fucking titties.

He's just been

franking.

Wet, curly hair.

Yeah, dude.

Air drying while the finger 11 takes him away.

That song sounds a little bit like Franz Ferdinand.

No, it doesn't.

Do you remember that band?

Yes, everybody remember that.

That's not a fucking interesting part of the world.

I like the name of that band.

I like the name of that band because it was history.

The Archduke.

Yeah, dude.

Who got his shit clapped?

That's how the war started, baby.

If he had just worn a helmet.

If he'd only worn it.

This doesn't sound like Franz Ferdinand.

Cockstrong, I'll suck you off.

Suck dick.

That's what I love to do.

Suck off anyone.

If you thought the joke would be different, you're wrong.

If you were expecting something different.

If you were expecting some new stuff, you're wrong.

You're wrong, and your dick is small.

Maybe check out patreon.com/slash come town.

That's right.

For

big surprise this week, we went an entire episode without doing any.

We're doing more inclusive.

If you feel underrepresented, yeah, I was.

You should check out the Patreon this Sunday.

We're doing

the Uno Reverse on

if you want something, because everybody says this is sort of like a fascist grift.

Yes.

And, you know,

call me Pussolini, you know what I'm saying?

Call me by your name.

But if you want a woke show,

what was Mussolini's first name?

Andrea.

Benito.

Benito.

Benito is a great name.

Benito Andrea Mussolini.

Benito Pussolini.

That's me, dude.

I'm Benito Pussolini.

Joseph Robinette Biden.

Benny Pussolini.

There was somebody else that had a fucking.

Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany.

Is that right?

Yeah.

And then there's another one.

There's another one I saw recently that was very funny.

It was like Stephanie Caitlin

Rebecca Hitler.

Yeah.

Devin Booker, NBA star, middle name.

Arma Armani.

Sick middle name.

It's an awesome middle name.

I wish my name was Stavros.

I'm a little bit more.

The theaters are fucking back, dude.

I love, I've had so much fun like that.

I love the magic of the cinema.

Yeah, dude.

When the lights go down, big soda.

Oh, yeah.

Fucking peanut MMs.

Oh, fuck.

My dick just got hard.

Just at the concession stand, they're like, that'll be $38.52.

Take it.

Yeah.

I'm like, go ahead, run the card.

Run the card.

It's a business expense.

It's a business expense.

I'm in media.

I'm James Bond.

I will be taking $100 worth of snow caps, please.

I'm a podcast.

When's the next James Bond movie coming out?

I don't know.

Soon, right?

Is it still Daniel Craig?

When are we getting a new one, dude?

We've had Daniel Craig since we were in high school.

It might be his last one.

I need some new blood to jack up.

I'm going to go to Melissa McCarthy.

I mean, Daniel Craig is the best James Bond.

Probably, I guess.

Yeah, it's Daniel Craig, Sean Connery, then fucking

Pierce.

George Lazenby.

Lazenby, and then Dalton, and then fucking Roger Moore is the worst.

Oh, Roger Moore is my number one.

Really?

Because he's a proper British man.

He's classic.

I feel like Pierce Brosnan was too late.

But when he was young and hot,

that would have been a nice piece of action.

I feel like we all like it because the video game was so sick.

The video game rocked.

And also, by the way, the GameCube James Bond games were awesome, too.

I don't remember.

I never played any of them.

They were fucking.

I just remember Goldeneye.

And you were actually a couple different James Bonds.

You were were Sean Connery for part of it.

Wow.

It's pretty fucking that's what they should do.

Goldeneye N64.

Man, what a what a

time in history.

What a time to be alive.

It was.

It truly was.

And it sucks because like video games.

Video games aren't like movies where you can.

Video games aren't like movies where you can go to the face.

You can't return to it.

It's

forever.

Sucks dick.

Can you try to play that shit now?

I played through the campaign because I got that little thing from Ukraine.

The emulator.

It's not an emulator.

It's just a cartridge you can put an SD card in so you can like sound like an emulator, bro.

It's not because what an emulator does is it emulates my dick in your mouth and you love it.

Fucking idiot.

You hurt his feelings stuff.

Good, fuck him.

Why?

Going into it.

He needs it.

Give him a second.

Give him a second.

He'll be fine.

Feeling better, man.

Yeah, my parents are divorced.

Sometimes I'm not getting back to the picture.

Sometimes, yeah,

I just get into like such a

dark zone.

You know, a lot of people, they don't know what it's like.

You're in a lot of pain.

Honestly, the number one song for that is Papa Roach.

Pete, what it was.

Put my life into pieces.

Yeah.

Suck my dick into pieces.

Oh, what's this?

This is trippy, man.

This song's actually sick.

This is pretty good, man.

I have a little dick

a dick

hurt.

I did small.

At least I can be

move back to Maryland and start a band.

I'm fucking gay.

We should definitely start a Maryland.

Maryland hardcore metal band.

Yeah, I would love that.

Let's start this scene.

Welcome, my dead shocked.

Let's start this scene back up.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh,

and Maryland Death Fest.

Fag

to P H A G.

A G

P H A G E

With an umlaw

over every single letter.

Fag, it rams headlocks.

I push my finger into my nose.

It's the only way that I can fucking count.

Oh, shit.

Well, imagine if four minutes ago.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was thinking.

Yeah, four minutes ago that we got Cushy Dreams.

Yeah, imagine.

Well, about four minutes ago, we started smoking Cushy Dreams, also.

And it was so good that we forgot to do that.

At cushydreams.com.

It's the only thing

that gets me sort of high

legal CBD,

it's just like real weed

Promo code Calmtown or Calm Town 2015.

It's some of the best CBD in the in the whole goddamn market.

But it's premium flour.

It's buggy.

It's the good shit.

It's not fucking oil.

What are you fucking a baby?

Come on.

You drinking oils?

You're drinking gummies?

Smoke the stuff that smoke the good shit like a hard

six used to smoke.

That all like

the people that were in the Cultural Revolution were smoking.

They weren't smoking pandas.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now it's broken.

Yeah.

Get your fucking CBD, bitch.

Get CBD now.

Officially sponsored.

Official sponsor of God Smack.

Sully from God Smack's favorite brand of CBD.

You guessed it, Cushy Dreams.

And that's how he landed the claim.

You've never seen my

dick.

Don't say it smart.

Anyway, so, yeah, CBD.

What do we get?

They got four streams.

They got five flavors.

They got a ton of different flavors.

They got a hustle piece fucking dream and create.

Energy, dream.

Energy hustle.

It's the good shit.

Gay conversion therapy.

If you want to be like me and live in a gay conversion van.

That's what I

got to

tell people, yeah, I do gay conversion.

I got a gay conversion van.

Yep, I got it.

You drive around town and we fuck each other.

Yeah, I get all these people trying to fucking turn their heads.

It's like a gay bang bus.

Yeah,

you see a guy just hitchhiking on the road, afraid, scared.

Some hot 19-year-old ran away from home.

Whose parents want him to be straight so he can go to college and not do gay shit.

You're like, don't worry.

You get a shirt and got like it's got a middle finger on it.

It says convert this.

It's a crucifix jammed into an ass.

Yeah.

That's right.

Yes, that's awesome.

A big pair of butt cheeks and you can get that at cushydreams.com.

And you go and then

cushydreams.com loves gay shit.

Yeah.

Is it C or C?

K U S U S H Y Dreams.

K U S H Y Dreams.com.

Check this out.

They got the tins, the nitro seal tins with an eighth of weed in there.

Or you can get the pre-rolls.

The pre-rolls.

The half-gram joints that come in a little.

I love the half-gram joints.

It's just

busted buster pack.

I love the half-gram joints.

And then they got the vials, the science vials with the fucking blunt.

The full gram joint.

And they are all fentanyl-free.

Fentanyl-laced.

You will die.

Laced up with fentanyl.

They also sell fentanyl that you can dip your

try to take their CBD pre-roll joint and dip it in a little bit of mercury.

You can ride the quicksilver.

I like dipping it in formaldehyde, putting it in the microwave, and then sparking that shit up.

Spark, spark it up.

Spark it up.

Yeah, if you dip it in mercury, you'll be able to tell the temperature perfectly after you smoke that shit, too.

There's a movie called Mercury Rising about an autistic boy that Bruce Willis needs to help him get high on.

He jams a thermometer up his ass and you watch his dick get hard.

Yeah, starring Brittany goes

to Phoenix Mercury.

Up oh Biscadios, motherfucker.

Yeah.

What are you doing now?

Yeah, he's going to be.

Another piss?

He's going to the bathroom for the fourth time.

You started the episode pissing.

Yeah.

And he shut the door so he's card shooting.

So listen, what you're going to want to do is go to cushydreams.com, use promo code Come Town.

Actually, maybe pause the godsmack while we go to cushydreams.com, promo code Come Town, and get 20% off your next order, whether that's fucking

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You're going to love this high-quality motherfucking CBD.

It's going to suck your fucking cock right off its handlebars

my dick is fucking small I'm sorry my dick is gay my dick is small

I feel bad about leaving for the last 20 seconds so I can I'll admit what I had to do but I felt like I needed an extra wipe and your ass cheeks were dirty and you could feel it sitting I feel like you're sitting there shitting my $700 chair I'm sitting in a camp chair from what

this is

it's an eams chair no it's not and i felt because i'm gonna neemes you to suck my dick

that's so true i'm sorry he is gonna neems you to do that

that's awesome dude thanks man

just chill out for it man let's just fucking

vibe just chill out for

you look up uh

the sponsor for the next show her

I can't do this because

this really is the 98 rock fucking block right now.

I really do love Stone Temple Pilots.

I can't

suck in

on a man's decision.

I want to taste the same.

Push my fan cuss into my ass.

Real quick, I want to, between ads here, I want to say come watch a live show.

We got funny moms every Monday that is not the first Monday of the month.

Yeah.

And then we also.

They've been really fun, guys.

They've been fun so far.

Tomorrow, Thursday, I'm hosting Pantheon, a show at the Bell House.

We got Joe Perra,

Sydney Washington.

A lot of going on in the world right now.

We got Chris Rock who's going to be on the show.

Go check that out.

See from the new Saw movie.

He's there, yep.

Black people or white people.

Chris Rock will also be at Union Hall on the 22nd, where I will be with Ian Fidance.

And oh, also, you know what?

Most importantly, Rochester.

I'm doing a weekend of shows there from the 17th to the 19th.

The Rock.

The first time on the road, please come out and suck my little fucking Pricadel.

We would love to fucking have you, folks.

That's Bill's country right there.

And then also

Fat Tuesday is the last Tuesday of the month.

But a lot of good shows coming up.

Thanks to everyone that's been coming to Funny Moms.

And again, patreon.com slash Cometown slash Chris Rock.

And so yeah, check out.

Patreon.com slash Stone Temple Pilots.

Go to stopby.biz, by the way.

Why?

For all that stuff, I forgot to say.

Yeah, you check that shit out.

Maybe

re-watch Cheers.

Yeah,

or re-watch Cheers.

Either one of those.

I think you're listening to podcasts.

Maybe you can check out.

If you're having an all right time with this, maybe check out that fucking show

Taxi.

Taxi's good.

Danny DeVito, he's a little fat.

Oh my God, Danny DeVito.

You got Danny DeVito and you got fucking Judd Hirsch.

Judd Hirsch.

You got

what the fuck is

Celine Deance?

Mork.

No, no, no.

You don't have Mork from

Indy Call Kaufman.

Lennis Plusman.

Lennis Plusman?

That's an awesome name, dude.

That is literally a 70s character actor's name.

Yeah.

Yeah,

let's figure that out.

What is going on with the Weaves?

There are a lot.

That's the response to that.

Yeah.

You remember that?

Yeah,

I love that.

The dog pound response.

Yeah, yeah.

Arsineo, dude.

That move.

I remember being a kid and being like, damn, I want to be in an audience.

Yeah, dude.

I want to be doing those.

Those look cool.

I want to be in a cool audience.

I want to be in an audience where I get to boo.

I had a friend whose dad

don't listen to their parents.

I had a friend whose dad was so racist, he slapped his son when he saw him doing the who, who, who.

He was like, no, black people do that.

We were like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy, dude?

Oh, it was.

I've mentioned him before.

He's good old Haralambos.

He was the guy who said.

So this motherfucker is named after a gorilla.

And he's going to.

Geronimo?

Karalambi.

What's his name?

Gerambamos.

Yeah.

Harambamos.

Yeah.

I hope Brandon Wardell is doing okay.

It is the fifth year anniversary.

It's like eight years, dude.

No, I think it's five.

Oh, Brandon Wardell, of course, of the dicks up for Harambe.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

I hope he's doing okay.

I know he's an important gorilla to him.

Yeah, I check in on him because I'm like, what's he doing now?

Brandon's in a movie now.

Yeah, he's like famous.

He's in Vancouver shooting a movie.

Shout out to our boy Brandon.

What's he shooting?

A Half Asian Twinks Volume 6.

Yeah.

He's in the Hangover 7.

He's getting his ass blown out right now.

Yeah, he's doing well.

Dude, somebody...

Is Twink a slur?

No, right?

Twink?

Yeah.

Just a term.

It's an identity?

Well,

it's like a slur for Taiwanese people.

No, it's not.

Yeah.

If you're being specific.

Because

you do want to respect the geopolitical boundaries of mainland China.

To me, that's

when you want to be racist against a Han Chinese, but also respect their side.

Right, right.

Okay, that's what you would say.

So I'll stop using it then, if that's the case.

I just want to say, but if you're a Beijing fan, then it doesn't matter.

Right.

Because they don't even acknowledge the existence of Twinks.

They're like, we're all just.

No, they don't say that.

We're not that.

But if you're going to.

But if you were going, if you had to, use the CH one.

Don't use the TW one.

That's very funny.

What type of soda is that?

It's a Cherry Cola Zero.

Is there a Cherry Coke Zero in there?

Yeah, dude.

Fuck.

Can I have a sip?

No.

Oh, damn.

I always miss out on the dietary.

They had a couple, dude.

Go get there.

Honestly, though, I don't really like his Cherry Zips Zero.

No, it's the same thing.

Dude, when you get a little raised, it's not diet vanilla Coke.

Diet.

I love vanilla Coke.

The best of all of them is if you can find a cool.

No, fuck you.

I give you a sip of my iced coffee early.

Yeah, but you didn't ask me if I wanted anything, remember?

We litigated this on the Patreon, we already litigized it.

You can have some, I just want to don't put your lips on it.

I'll waterfall, waterfall it, or better yet, pour it into your cup

if it's got water.

I don't care.

No, I don't want it.

Drink the water.

You just drink my water.

I'll drink my water.

It's fine.

I don't want it.

You can have some.

You do want it.

Don't fucking lie to yourself.

I just want to try it.

You know what it tastes like, motherfucker.

You don't want to try it.

You want some.

I don't know it.

You do know it.

What do you mean you don't know it?

I don't know Trayco Zero.

Wow.

Wow.

You said you were going to waterfall it.

You put your fucking DSLs right on that motherfucker, dude.

So you're admitting I have nice lips.

No.

I said I take such stuff.

What a clever play by Adam to ask to borrow the soda to drink it in a roundabout way to get you to admit he had nice lips.

Yeah, it was all clever.

He did put the entire bottle of stuff.

I don't really have an outlet for this, so I'll just go ahead and say it.

But the other day I was saying, why didn't they call Ocean's 13 Clams Casino?

Or Ocean's 8.

Sorry.

That makes a lot more sense.

I was confused.

I was like, I don't get it.

Whichever one the bitch one more.

Yeah, the bitch one was clam's casino.

That was not that good a movie.

Have you ever ordered a clam's casino at a city?

A celestial?

No, never at a restaurant.

I've had it made.

Oh, do you mean you've never had it in restaurants?

I've never had clams casino at a restaurant.

You made it yourself?

I've had other people have made it for me.

Interesting.

What's in a clams casino?

I can do Easy Mac.

I can do fucking hot dogs on the stove.

Yeah, I was going to say Clam's Casino feels like a little bit above your

baked clams with like fucking sour cream and shit.

I still think you would fuck it up, man.

You just crush up a bunch of Uts, sour cream, and onion chips.

You would put like fucking tuna in the blender and eat that shit.

Yeah.

You can't do Clam's Casino.

I can do Clam's Casino.

No chance.

First of all, what I would do is I would put tuna in the blender with hot sauce and mayonnaise.

Not just tuna in the blender.

And then you make a paste.

God damn, that sounds so fucking horrible.

The fucking pictures you would send in that era of your eating were hilarious.

Yeah, because the story point is like, let's just see how bad I can see.

Yeah, you were eating truly shit that they wouldn't eat in prison.

Like, if you made that in prison, you would get fought if they saw you eating that.

Because it was mostly prison ingredients, too.

It was like beef jerky and shit.

Stop, if you went to prison, would you be the guy that got really good at stop would do fine in prison like i would love to see

stop stav would do great in prison he'd just be affable and he wouldn't have to do shit he'd just sit at one of the cafeteria tables and then people would come over he'd hold court and they'd give him bread in exchange for you know like podcasting i would get head from like the cutest guys too i would become gay i don't know dude there's some big guys in prison They wouldn't want to fuck me, dude.

But compared to the big guys, you're like a lot shorter than them.

But I would be.

I don't know if you'd be at the top of the pecking order.

First of all, you would 100% be at the bottom.

So let's not fucking.

We're not debating that.

We all know that.

Adam would flee to Israel and they'd refuse to extradite.

Yeah, classic Meyer Landscape.

Yeah.

Too bad we'd get you in the fucking airport, bitch.

I would execute you.

Yeah, I think

you're on.

Just that video that Stewardess getting KO'd.

No.

Some bitch punched her in the face.

Jesus Christ.

Really?

Yeah.

It's pretty cool.

I haven't flown yet.

I'm a board.

I'm not flying.

When I go to Rochester, I'm taking the fucking Amtrak.

Oh, nice.

It's going to be nice.

How long is that?

Like nine hours?

Nine hours.

No, six and a half.

Yeah, wait until there's delays, pal.

Yeah, wait.

You're used to the beauty of the Northeast regional.

You're not ready for a real Amtrak.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's literally just for criminals.

You should take the Erie Canal up there.

That'd be cool.

What's the Erie Canal?

I don't know.

It's some shit for me.

I'm taking the fucking train.

I just told you.

I can't drive the train.

Get on a river boat up there off the Hudson.

That would be fucking annoying if it's nine hours.

But at the end of the day, I like the idea of taking the train up there,

reading a book, doing some work.

Yeah.

Trains are nice.

Yeah, they are, aren't they?

It's smooth sailing.

Smooth.

Smooth operator.

Or should I just rent a car, maybe?

I guess I could fly there.

Don't you have a car?

I don't know.

Driving some.

Oh, you popped all the tires again?

No, I've never done that.

First of all, I've never done it.

You remember you sat down, all four popped at once.

No,

how would that happen?

I'm one man.

Even if I'm a fat man, it's not.

It doesn't really

matter.

God damn, that's about

the 15th time that's happened.

There are much fatter people than me that ride in cars.

What if two small people that weigh about the same as me got in a

car?

Impossible.

Well, I'll tell you what, myboogie.ag

oh, it's time to bet, folks.

It's time for bet.

It's time to bet unless you're gay.

Myboogie.ag.

That's so funny.

Yeah.

That is a little fine print that we have to.

That was part of the case.

We've been getting in trouble because all our fans have been betting and they're like, oh, this doesn't, they're getting rejected, and we didn't know why.

Yeah, you're breaking the law if you go.

Sorry, guys.

But.ag, a lot of people say, what does.ag stand for?

It's a type of company that only exists in Switzerland, which is where they set it up to, so that they could do offshore betting completely, sort of legally.

Yeah, it stands for mybookie.anti-gay.

Yes.

Mybookie.ag

is

something about Antonio Brown.

on the bottom?

Antonio Brown is on the ring.

We got the NBA playoffs going on, folks.

We got big playoff action.

We got the Lakers locked in against the fucking Suns.

Who's going to win?

Who's going to lose?

It depends on AD.

AD is hurt.

Is he going to come back?

He's probably sitting out the next game.

Are the Nets going to get it?

MyBookie offers competitive odds on everything, better odds than in Vegas.

I think.

You have big time, much better odds than big.

What critics are calling big-time odds?

They offer super spreads, super spreaders,

point buckets.

Live in-game wagering.

Live in-game wagering.

And you can bet on the election.

Double-downs, split, shakedowns.

Triple, double-downs, double shakedowns.

Shakedown, money-touch, fuck-offs.

Money touch souffle.

Omaha.

They got, yeah.

They got the triple Omaha.

They got the Omaha biscuits.

They got a big old pair of butt cheeks.

You can lick.

They call it the Omaha biscuit.

That's right.

Special.

It's kind of like the Apollo where you rub the tree stump for good luck.

You lick the Omaha biscuits.

They got country gravy that comes out of a statue of a golden bull with its penis exposed.

Oh, yeah.

The cock is nice, too, by the way.

And it goes all over the eggs benedict that you must bring.

Just a reminder that the eggs benedict

B-Y-O-B-A-D-G-G Benedict.

And other than that, the country gravy is free, comes out of the bull's penis.

Fully available at mybookie.ag

home of the bull's penis of straight gambling.

Sex gambling.

Sex gambling.

Straight sex gambling.

Again.

It's the absolute home of the Swiss Moneymaker Special.

Oh, yeah.

And you're guaranteed to make money, by the way.

I'm guaranteed to make it.

100% guaranteed.

That's absolutely.

Or you get your money back.

That's a bonus when you sign up.

That's a real part of the copies.

You get a bonus and you sign up.

They'll match your deposit up to $1,000.

Then that's free money.

In credits, in irredeemable credits.

You're not allowed to take it.

You can keep betting them.

You can keep betting them.

It's sort of like if you've lost a lot of money in Bitcoin recently, you want to check out my book.

Yeah, you want to go to the old-fashioned style of gambling.

Because it's like

Mark Twain always said, your luck doesn't turn turn around until you start betting even more money.

Bet more.

That's right.

Take out a mortgage on your house.

Interest rates are low right now.

Money's cheap.

What you want to do is lock in a low interest rate, bet all the money on sports gambling with our friends at mybookie.ag uh-huh.

Get a government loan, don't pay it back.

Fuck the government.

Fannie Mae can suck my stavi cock.

Fanny's what I say.

Sounds like a

fucking ninny.

Sounds like a ninny.

Get him.

Get they ass, Nick.

Wow.

I did, I believe.

You did, my friend.

Freddie Mac was that

Bernie Mac?

Yeah, so true, also.

Yeah.

Stop trying to steal my.

I was on a roll there.

I shouldn't have stepped on you.

You said Frannie Mae sounds like a fucking ninny to me.

That was better.

That was a really good role.

That was better.

They call it the High Roll Drifter.

Listen, I'm cool.

It's available only at mybookie.

Only at my bookie only at mybookie.penis is a website where you are the power is in the control

that's absolutely correct

and so you go there do you use a promo code

use promo code ComeTown or ComeTown20

for the deposit match or some shit?

For

no, they give you some kind of they give you

I think they give you like $5,000 or something.

If you're a listener of our show, you get five G's on the house.

You know what?

Tell them come town.

Gratis.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I'll tell you what,'cause I know from the the the b the B2B side is that of all the

semi-legal b sports betting

websites

that we have had the displeasure of knowing,

Myboogie.ag is the only one that's actually paid.

From a conducting business standpoint, they have scratched the bare mineral.

And we can't offer any more of a ringing endorsement than that, folks.

That sounds pretty good to me.

Is that they seem to be on the up and up with

not

just going out of business.

At the very least, they won't stiff the podcast they advertise with.

If you sign up with promo code XXXX, I think they put it in the...

Is that what they say?

So ComeTown or Comtown 20.

My bookie will match your deposit halfway up to $1,000.

Huge.

Huge.

That's free money, right?

That's mybookie.ag promo code xxxx.

Probably Cometown.

Probably Come Town.

Remember what company had come as the promo code?

That was awesome.

They just chose Come.

Respect to them.

Who knows?

That was an early one.

They never advertised again.

I remember that.

Whatever happened to that boot company that we accused of raping children?

Is there something to do with the camera?

No, it is.

Promo code is Come Town.

There you go.

I found the copy from years ago.

Awesome.

And tell them we sent you.

And tell them we said.

When you're sucking off the country gravy Bullcock, let them know Come Town sent you.

And let them know Come Town sent you.

And also

tell them they're gay.

Should we go to a fucking casino?

I'm mad that I thought for a second that you and Stephen went to go shoot guns in Jersey after I suggested it.

No, no, no.

Stephen went to see his dad.

Yeah, but for a second, it looked like you guys.

No, I was in Vermont, and I was like, that's not what happened, but I'm still holding it.

I think I still hold on to the nine millimeters.

I'm choosing to believe

that I was

disrespected.

I would love to go shoot and maybe look less gay doing it.

Nah,

you never will.

Yeah.

Nah, guns are like classic cars.

You always look like a fag.

Yeah, I think so.

No matter what.

I had a lot of gun fags on my Instagram mentions saying that I was holding the gun the gayest way.

And then

one of the guys was an adult wearing a gun.

The nice thing about that.

The nice thing about those guys.

You fucking pathetic loser.

Nice thing about those guys.

I got 40 seconds.

Guaranteed that some of them will actually kill themselves.

That's true.

Which is nice.

Either accidentally or on purpose.

Well, listen to me.

Imagine killing yourself in your gi.

God, adult.

Yeah, he died doing what he loves.

Karate.

Well, if you die in an embarrassing way, you could throw the gi on.

Like, if you guys die, I'm going to put you in a gi and I'm going to say you were defending me against ninjas.

Yeah, that's true.

And that's a hero's death, even though you probably killed yourself.

This is a guy from California being like, like, Yeah, I'm Gi.

Yeah,

I'm Gi.

I'm Gi, and this is my husband, Gi.

My husband's name is Gi,

and I'm Gi, we're Gi with each other.

So funny that the guy's name was Gay.

Whose name is Gay?

That guy Gay Talese, the writer.

I was thinking about the name Guy, which is Guy,

if it's French, right?

Right, yeah.

But then if it's California,

he's a ghee.

He's a French California.

If If you're gay.

In California, you're gay.

Right.

And

they're just doing whatever the hell they want with language.

It's really funny that that lady is really clean.

And it pisses you off, huh?

It makes me mad.

Because you're a purist.

As a New Yorker, let me tell you.

Sure.

There's nothing that boils my blood

quite like a bunch of Armenian pieces of shit.

Okay, we're going to blame them.

Yeah.

Wow.

You think it's them?

Hearing from old Kurd Aruni Dooney.

Not a Kurd.

No, Kurt.

Kurd's just calling my friend.

His real name is Kurd.

I thought you were accusing me of being Kurdish.

Because we're talking about our own.

They're people without a nation.

Much like the Palestinians.

Solidarity with the Kurds.

Yeah.

Remember last, like, two years ago when it was like, Trump abandoned, he's abandoning the Kurds.

Like, dumb thing online.

Yeah, we never.

It's like, we, all right.

No, we've never, we've never hooked the Kurds up, dude.

What I'm supposed to care about Trump abandoning the Kurds?

First of all, if you really cared about them, you wouldn't call them that.

That's their name, dude.

No, that's.

Kurdistan is where they're from.

I refuse to believe that.

It does it just because it rhymes with turds.

Kurd is.

I didn't even think about that.

Yes, you do.

No, I'm blind.

That's the first place you thought of.

No.

You didn't think of that, Nick?

It seems like something you would have thought of.

Don't they beef?

If I had to say

imagining a solidified turd made out of cum, solidified cum, what would it be called?

I guess you could say that.

They're called the curd.

See, you're the one who brought the cum element.

I was just saying what it was.

Well, that's where the cum comes from.

Well, I think it's funny, and I'm tired of pretending it's not, Murray.

You can't say that, Joker.

You can't call them cum turds.

Well, what's going to happen, Murray?

You're going to cancel me?

Are you going to fuck my ass?

Are you going to get me fired from being retarded, Murray?

Dude, Joker 2.

So what, Joker?

Just because you're retarded and you get money from the government, you think you could say slurs?

That's exactly what I think.

What's that?

They're making Joker too.

Joker 2, brother.

Todd is back.

Todd's back.

Todd Phillips is fucking back.

Friend of the show, Todd Phillips.

No.

He hates you.

Turd.

He's a friend of...

He hates you.

Turd Phillips.

Just because he hates me doesn't mean he's not a friend of the show.

He does hate you.

You know what I remember?

That lady named Cece Peniston.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

I forgot about that lady.

Yeah, shout out to her.

She's pretty fucking tight.

That song she made is pretty good.

Also, I guess they found out today that the girl from the dry blowjob video,

Ellie Kemper.

Ellie Kemper is in the KKK.

What?

That's not real.

No, she did a dance.

She did a racist dance 35 years ago.

She did?

Yeah.

Something Something like that.

I guess she's rich from St.

Louis, and they had like a rich people's ball where they picked the hottest teenage girl that they all all the rich people want to fuck.

She was that.

And everyone says that she's racist now.

But I honestly, personally, I would still fuck her.

That's the kind of guy I am.

That's the kind of gumption I've got.

The forest gumption.

The forest gumption.

Yeah.

I'm always saying.

What if I told you I was the g uh everybody hates me because

I'm an Adam Lanza type of retard instead of a Forrest Gump type of retard?

That's not why they hate you, Joker.

You're annoying.

You're annoying, and you're kind of gay.

Nobody would have a problem with you killing those Wall Street guys if you'd stopped doing that thing with your shoulder.

We think it's actually pretty cool.

Everyone here would be on your side if you weren't wearing makeup and doing that weird thing with your shoulder.

I hope he gets, I guess, I hope there's a Harley Quinn type.

Every movie that comes out is like media dorks will be like, this is Girl Joker.

If it's like a movie with a girl,

well, they like that because it works no matter what, because every movie now, it has to be like the women movies have to pass the Bechdel test.

But real women in real life don't.

So it is sort of this true anti-hero psycho fantasy to imagine a woman whose entire life isn't dictated by his or her relationships with man.

That's true.

So no matter what, even if it's like,

you know, the bitch that works at the newspaper, if most of it is her, like, you know, I'm going to decide what I want for lunch.

Yeah, yeah.

You know,

crazy.

Absolute psychic.

If she's not thinking about cock, yeah, you mean

she's the joker.

Yeah, that's pretty much.

Any woman that's not trying to get

my film criticism.

Yeah, I'm with you, bro.

Like this Cruella thing, I don't know what it's about,

but

I guarantee you she's a bitch.

Yeah,

I can guarantee you that.

Amen.

Right now, that that's a movie about apparently.

Dalmatians killed her mom, and that's why she hates Dalmatians.

Oh, her mom got fucked up.

Got got by some Dalmatians.

They got fucked her together.

Who plays the two British stooges that she has from?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Your boy, your boy from Kennedy and Cumberbench?

No, no, your boy from Clint Eastwood movie with the fat security guard.

Oh, Richard Jewell.

He's in that.

He's in Cruella.

That guy's cool.

He plays one of the buffoons.

I think so.

Yeah.

Oh, so that you answered the question.

Cruella, I was wondering if maybe we could get some pussy from you.

miss cruella

joker do you think maybe you and this cruella bitch could give each other pussy and then you could be normal

but i don't want to be normal murray i want to be a fucking weirdo but think about how good it would feel get your dick sucked

I guess it would feel pretty good.

Yeah, what do you get?

When you make a weird retard, fuck

a dog-killing lady,

you get the

event of the summer, directed by Lynn Manuel Miranda.

That's true.

Honestly, I do firmly believe if we gave, if more people got pussy, there'd be fewer problems in the world.

Yeah.

If Le Manuel Miranda weren't being...

Dude, if that guy got pussy, we would never have had to hear his fucking gay-ass musicals.

Yeah.

I think that he...

I am Alexander Hamilton.

My dick is fucking small.

Yeah.

I don't think that's in the musical.

It is.

No, it's not.

It's the Adam Friedland.

And also, just because he's bad doesn't mean all musicals are bad.

Here's what I have to say to that.

If you want to see a good musical about Puerto Rican culture, you see West Side Story.

Yeah.

Or Carlito's Way.

Carlito's Way is the best music.

I would watch a musical version of Carlito's Way so fast.

My favorite line from that movie is when Appacino is like, when they saw my Puerto Rican ass cross.

That's like the monologue in the very beginning, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, he ruled, dude.

Him playing Carlito's way, and then

I love

Scarface.

I mean, it's so for anyone to get pussy from a woman named Gail is funny, but that was the love of his life.

But Al Pacino is, yeah.

He should have killed, what's his name?

Billy Blanco from the Bronx.

Benny Blanco.

Benny Blanco from the Bronx.

Yeah.

When I was like 13, I loved that movie.

It's a fucking incredible movie.

Sean Penn's hair is the best part of the movie.

Yeah, Kleinfeld.

The best.

Oh, he won a piece of guns, so now Kleinfeld.

He's a great character.

He's so good.

And then they had him in Vice City.

Dude, when I fired up Vice City and they had Kleinfeld from Probably Des Roy, I was like, oh, we're in for it, dude.

That's one for the first time.

Dude, where the fuck is the next Vice City?

They'll never.

There's going to be a new one.

Yeah, but it's going to suck, dude.

Grand Theft Auto has not been fun since.

No, the last one was good.

It just hasn't five in a long time.

Not even six or whatever.

Five.

Five.

The one with three characters?

There hasn't been six.

That's five.

Okay.

And that came out eight years ago.

So long time ago.

Nine years ago.

Well, they came out with Red Dead after that.

Four was better than five.

Is that the one with the guy?

Nico Bellic.

Yeah, the I like, but I don't know.

Five was good.

It was fine.

I literally I've I've been playing it for the last nine years and I'll play like three missions

each and then I get fucking bored of it.

But you you yeah, you play the games for real, bro.

I just like to fucking get exploding bullets and fuck people up.

Yeah, Red Dead is a million times better.

And the original was, too.

I remember when the original came out, I was like,

honestly, I just want a fucking updated version of Vice City.

Make it the exact same game with good graphics.

And make it Miami.

And make us the main guys.

Make me the main guy.

Make me and you

and you.

No, you

takes.

I was being generous.

We should have a radio station on the new Grand Test.

Yeah, come on, guys.

Let's make it happen.

Let's make that happen so we can quit this fucking show, dude.

Rockstar, please, I'll suck your cop.

We do one 30-hour episode.

That would be incredible.

We get all the drugs we want.

And by the way,

and by the way, folks, if you're like, oh, cool, an extra episode, like extra content, no.

No.

You're getting that.

That's going to be the final episode.

That's the last ones we ever record.

We will portion it off one hour.

And then anytime anybody listens to even a second of the show in the game, $1 million.

Right.

Guess where that money's going?

Liposuction for Stavros.

I don't need that.

I like my body.

And we're going to do it behind his back, literally.

Yeah,

it'd be very funny if Stavros walking around.

He's just like a thin man from the back.

Yeah.

And he doesn't see it.

There's just like a weird gradient where he just becomes much fatter.

I would be pissed off if you guys snugged into my room and gave me a little liposuction every like week or so, and I thought I was doing really good with my little dianesthetic in your sleep apnea mask.

Yeah, dude.

How's that going?

You saw the CPAP machine?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah.

I'm going to live forever.

That's what.

Look, a lot of fat motherfuckers

die off that shit.

Yeah, that's true.

I thought about trying it out myself.

You should.

Seriously, that's when people just fucking die out of the blue.

It's a lot of times because of that shit.

Really?

Yeah, because it's like imagine your body just getting like two hours of sleep at night, basically.

I don't snore.

Doesn't necessarily mean.

I have

basically I'm like trained for

infiltration.

Yeah.

As ministers.

You sleep over there.

That's why I don't smell.

No one can ever smell that.

Yeah, that's so true.

You know, it's like

Ronin, sort of a

ninja kind of.

No, actually.

You have none of that.

I was waiting for you to

even attempt

to say no.

Actually, what you are is a blown-in.

blown-in.

Because you suck guys off.

I'm a blown man.

No, because I've been blown.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You're a blown-in.

Yeah, I've got a blown-in does the blowing.

No.

He doesn't he doesn't get blown.

You haven't even seen Ronin.

Yes, I have.

Yeah, well, what color is the fucking boathouse at...

I don't fucking remember.

No, no, because that's a fake question.

I know that at least that's a fake question that they try and get what's his face, Sean Bean.

Joker, what color was the bathroom at the retarded school?

There's no how.

Blue, Murray.

I know, it's a trick question.

There's no fucking how to ask.

I blew you.

That's a good joke, Joker.

Stop telling everyone that, Joke.

I tried America.

I sucked Murray's dick before the show.

He's gay like me.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut up.

That would be a funny one.

What about we do for a Joker rewatch?

Because we

I liked it in theaters.

It was fun in theaters, and then I put it on again at home like six months later, and it wasn't doing it for me, but it might be time.

Yeah, I've only seen it that one time.

Yeah, I don't really feel like I need to re-watch it.

I'll see the second one, but

there's not a second one.

There literally is.

There is?

Yeah,

I wasn't joking.

Oh, I thought you convinced yourself there was because I was doing Murray.

No, no.

I'm not that weak-minded.

So, Ellie Kemper did a racist dance?

No, no, no.

She was at a racist dance.

They found pictures of her sucking my cock some years ago.

And she got canceled for that?

Yeah.

Because I'm because of my bad attitude.

God damn it.

Because Nick's penis looks retarded.

They thought she was raping a retarded boy because it looks retarded.

It's really small, like a child's penis.

The straps coming down.

They're like, Ellie Kemper raped a baby retard.

It was actually Nick's penis.

He's got a helmet and a backpack on it.

Because there's a little propeller at the top.

Spins around.

All right, bye.

This is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethany Frankl.

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