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Reporting live from Kuala Lamporo, where Adam's having sex with children.
Once again, his favorite.
Can you tell us why
you
fancy where is Kuala Lampor and
are the children sexy or do you?
Yes.
I would thought of it.
Where is Kuales?
When I saw Kuales,
you had to fight the urge to.
What is that?
I'm on the.
What is that?
I'm on the bridge between the Petronas towers.
What are they called?
Adam's like, all in forward, what is that?
Like, negative 69.801235
or something.
I don't know.
Wait, wait, what was the towers?
They have those towers with the bridge between them.
So you know.
The Patronus Towers.
You said, but you said, what is it called?
What is it called?
Yeah, Respect.
You know what, man?
It's awesome.
London Bridge is for Wind Dime, Fallen time, for wind time.
It's a national anthem.
Yeah, all right.
Prince Philip is in hell.
He's had his
funeral.
Yeah.
You know, and the queen is ready to get some fucking cock.
She's so fucking horny and ready.
Mm-hmm.
She's been waiting for that old cocksucker.
How many times do you think the queen has fucked in her whole life?
The queen?
Yeah.
She's fucked everyone in England.
Does it look like bees?
It's like spiders.
Or like ants?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Bees.
Yeah, she's just getting dumped
by everyone.
That would be cool.
Yeah.
That is why.
And that's why everyone loves Prince Charles, who's the most popular guy whose dad is England's son.
Yeah.
And that's why no, no, that's why everyone was fine when he got pussy from Camilla Parker Bowles, who's one of the hottest fish.
She's so hot, dude.
I remember her FHM when I was in middle school.
I jacked off to it so much.
I liked her stuff, Kali.
Kafila Parker Bowles.
Kefila her pussy with my bowls.
Yeah, that's right.
I would love to Kefila
her pussy with my bowl.
I'm feeling the names today.
What about Mia Khalifa Parker Bowles?
Mia Gunanita to see that pussy.
Yeah.
Wait, who's Mia?
Mia Khalifa.
Mia Khalifa, the Mia Gunanita.
The girl that has
a drinking hit jobs.
I would would love to fuck Mia Khalifa.
Yeah, she had that blow-up a couple years ago where she did an interview with somebody and they were like, now in pornography, and she's like, How dare you mention that I did pornography?
Did she have one of those?
Yeah, didn't she?
Yeah, she said something where she was like, I didn't make any money.
Yeah,
she was dating a guy who was like ran bang bros or some shit.
Yeah.
And he basically just like pimped her out on video, essentially.
Which, if you're listening, Wiz or Mia,
I
Wiz too, if you want to get fucked,
I'd fuck Wiz Khalifa for the story.
But Mia, if I had to choose which Khalifa to fuck, it's Mia for sure.
Uh-huh.
Wait, here we go.
Someone on who is an avid sports fan who was also at one point in time the number one ranked adult film star on Pornhub.
Like that, those two circles.
Probably.
Like, I remember I went to an NBA game and Mary Carey was sitting.
Just bring her verse.
Where's Mary Carey?
She ran for governor of California that year, that was like all freaks running.
It was like Gary Coleman.
Oh, yeah.
And then
do I have that right so far, Mee?
He's a porn star.
Ruptured an input.
First of all, I was in the adult industry for three months, so you need to fucking fact-check before you ask me to.
Yeah, so she's like, you need to fact-check.
And it's like, well,
what fact is wrong?
Yeah.
It's a relative amount of time.
People know about her from porn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was her big that was her first.
Well, I know about her from Islam.
That was my introduction to Islam.
That was me, Khalifa.
I converted.
You're going to have to go somewhere else because it's not cat time right now.
Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
Yeah.
Look out, buddy.
You're just, you're going to be annoying until
we're trying to
get into the zone with disparage.
Well, I'm not.
I'm pro-Mia.
I want that to be clear.
We're all pro-Mia.
That's not necessarily true.
We don't know what makes sense.
We weren't supposed to mention that she was ever in porn?
Well, we weren't supposed to mention that she was ever an adult film star?
Yeah, well, that's the end of the video.
I guess she just hung up immediately.
I remember it being a bigger thing.
Oh.
She's just like, first of all, I'm the first Indian woman to ever
go to space.
She's a big DC sports fan.
I would love to interview her and just be like, now you're George Clooney's wife.
Tell us about that.
What's it like
being the lawyer of the UN?
Yeah.
Now, when you and George Clooney got married and he said, I'm going to make you my bottom bitch.
And did you, did you, did you, was your first thought is, I'm going to tear up my law degree?
Because now.
Now I can just get this pussy pumped like a dog and lay out litters for old Georgia boy
as George Clooney's bitch.
Let all 11
oceans.
Oh, yeah.
I need 11 oceans of cum in my pussy pump.
Malclooney's like, you need to fact check because I only did porn for two months.
I'm like, I didn't even know that.
Let's look, let's pull it up now.
Let's pull it up.
I'm going to jack off.
We're going to pull it up.
We're pulling up your clips and pulling down my pants.
Oh, man.
Poor Mia, dude.
You know, you have those big-ass titties, you do some porn, try to make a quick buck, and for the rest of your life, everyone brings up you suck and cock on cam.
Yeah.
You cashed in.
It's like the game of life, the board game.
Yeah.
It's like go to college or do pornography and show everyone your pussy.
Those are the two options at the start of the game.
That's right.
And then you either get this shitty station wagon, a bunch of dumbass kids, or you get like a...
you know, like a Mercedes-Benz
filled with condoms and HPV.
Yeah.
You know what?
I wish that she had made more money.
I wish nothing had changed in her life because some of her videos are very important to me.
Yeah.
But I wish that she was fairly compensated and not ripped off.
I remember a lot of her hijabi visibility.
I jacked off to one video where her and another woman in hijab are sucking a guy's cock at the same time.
I was never into that shit.
First of all, I've never really been into pornography in general.
But I remember when people were saying, like, because there was a thing, there was a thing, is that she was like
the porn star or whatever.
I'm like, well, who, is this person extremely hot or something?
She has a lot of stuff.
I have a big, floppy, slappy title.
I got to say, she doesn't.
She has a tits.
She's got a nice nice.
They're fake.
They're not big, floppy, slappies.
No, they're big titties.
You don't even know what you're talking about.
Adam fakes loving tits, so you have to cut him a break.
Don't, why are you kidding me?
He pretends he loves tits.
I'm just, I'm explaining.
I'm supporting you right now.
I'm explaining to Nick why you don't know the correct parlance for different types of titties.
that's true because you're an imposter i've strayed but i've you've never turned to the lord you've returned to no this is your first foray with the lord don't pretend like you that's not true
my first
but i lost my virginity it's a big only because that's the only type of bitch that would you at that point 100 correct you you weren't trying to her she just was
she was getting death threats from isis that's why she had to stop doing porn i remember oh yes exactly politics ruins something beautiful yet again Yeah.
And
that's why I'm a moderate.
The left and the right are both crazy.
Yeah.
Crazy.
I'm going to say that's true.
You got ISIS on one hand, and then you got fucking Republicans on the other hand.
That's right.
And Dylan even get me started on Nancy Pelosi over there in New Year's ISIS.
Yeah.
And you got the
two crazy sides, and the middle just wants to jack off to Mia Khalifa.
Yep, me and Joe in the Corvette.
Just me and Joe ride around the Corvette.
Fancy cocksi.
Fancy Pinosi.
And she's like, I've come all the way from California to show everyone my beautiful penis.
Fancy penis.
Yeah.
It's covered in jewels.
Fancy Pinosi.
Yeah, I like that a lot.
I would like to,
I'll just do E.
Gene Carroll.
That's fine.
I have a similar kind of thing.
Which a lot of people think about my penis, and I think it's fashion.
I would like her a lot more.
We're going to take a break and we'll be back.
Yeah.
We're going to be back after this break.
It's Anderson Cooper.
Yeah.
Of course.
I'm going to go drink.
I have to drink a glass of calm.
I have to drink some man.
I'm in his penis.
I have to drink a liquefied man's pen.
A lot of people think about my fancy penis, and they think it's Shakshi.
Yeah,
Fancy Pinosi.
Fancy Pinosi.
She's good.
Yeah.
Who else is in Congress?
Let's see here.
Suck Hugmer.
Chuck Schumer.
Oh,
penis names.
Suck Hugermer.
Kristen Seaman.
Yeah.
Joe munching on cock.
Yeah, cock.
Joe could definitely munch on some cock as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah.
I'll come over to fucking West Virginia and I'll pour some moonshine in your ass, Joe, if you don't fucking smarten up.
Okay, and that's a fucking legal threat that you're on notice.
I got something secret for the service to look at.
It's my balls.
And they're not actually that big of a secret.
Yeah.
I'll show any cute woman who wants to see them my balls.
So I hope you got a cute girl on the screen.
That's crazy.
That's that's like Andrew Cuomo is being like canceled for just that.
For
offering to showing his balls to people.
That's it.
Yeah, just for just the balls, not even the shaft.
Yeah.
And you know what's fucked up?
It's like, okay, look, I know.
Maybe, you know, in normal circumstances, a boss shouldn't show people his balls.
Yeah.
But this is a man who flawlessly dealt with the COVID.
There was like a Daily Caller article that was like, Joe Biden once said that Andrew Cuomo has very nice balls.
I guess they were at a party.
And he was like, there was some fun race
in Rochester.
This guy's got great balls.
I saw his balls.
I made up for all the smallest cockpits.
Famously, he's got a small cock.
And he pulled his big balls out, and I said, I want to sell his cock.
Now, those are some nice balls.
I said, that's the nicest pair of balls I've ever seen.
Bo had nice balls.
Your son, your dead son.
My dead son.
That's why they killed him in Iraq.
His balls were too nice.
His balls were too big.
The Mujahideen side.
His balls were too big to be blown up by an IED.
Right.
Wow.
And that was the kind of thing where they had to declare a personal fatwa on it.
The Pooja Nadin said that his balls were too nice.
They fucking killed him.
That's so messed up, Joe.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Another thing, I'm gay.
What?
As long as we're here, I'll just let you know I'm gay.
Fucking Joe.
I remember Brock was telling me one time that he was Ryan Schott.
That he was oh, he was Ryan Shot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I heard that.
That's a good story, Joe.
One of Joe's classic stories.
It sounds like something you'd say.
Brock is actually gay, and he's also Ryan Schott.
I sat down with Barack and I said that I'm gay.
And I said, if you, if you show me your penis,
we can, we, I will suck it.
You can't, you can't,
I won't put it in my mouth.
Honestly, that's another guy who's got
an incredible win streak.
Biden was just some dumbass senator, and then Obama needed someone to prove racist people would vote for him.
And then Hillary blew it so bad that they were like, all right, who's around?
And he just got the luckiest way to be president.
He doesn't even know what the fuck is going on, dude.
sorry.
But
he's still finding ways to sun Kamala.
Yep.
He's sending her to the border to deal with the crisis.
I hope that they eventually let Trump back on social media.
And every tweet is like, 8 a.m., beautiful day, waking up, having a glass of orange juice, just remembering that I was president and that pig Hillary Clinton never was.
She gets it.
She can say whatever she wants.
That pig never made it.
If he's completely apolitical,
the rest of his life is fucking
the rest of his life.
Just think about when I crush that pig in there.
His approval rating would go through the roof.
If it was just like tweeting about reality TV and saying Hillary Clinton's a loser pig that he beat,
yeah.
Hell, I'd vote for him.
Yep.
Yep, yep, yep.
Who knows?
I mean, he's definitely going to try and run again.
I hope so.
I hope he lives.
Bobby, let me see your penis.
But, Dad, I don't want to show it to you.
Our father knows best.
It's small, Dad.
Yeah, they're bringing King of the Hill back, and I guess that's the first episode.
Really?
Yeah.
My penis is small.
Peggy's getting a penis installed.
And Bobby's
something about QAnon.
I hope they don't do that kind of shit.
They should pick up where they left off and not acknowledge anything that happened after like 2006.
From what I read, it is going to be like 15 years later.
Like Bobby's going to be an adult.
That's good.
Is he going to be gay man?
You've got to assume he's going to be a gay man.
That would be wild if he wasn't.
Tell me what you want about the Simpsons.
At least they didn't change anything.
You know, Bart's still 10.
Yeah.
Homer's supposed to be 36 years old.
Really?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
It's crazy that Adam is older than Homer Sin.
I'm not older than him, actually.
You're not older than you are.
No, I'm not.
You just turned 39.
We just went to the Chuck E.
Cheeses.
Yeah.
Where you had your 39th year old.
Oh, Adam.
It's so weird.
You're older than my husband, but you have
much smaller.
You have Bart's penis.
Actually, you have Maggie's.
You have Maggie's clit.
That's a thing.
That's mean to say about your baby dog.
It's a nice-size clit.
She's got a perfect pussy, but it's a bad-sized cock for a 39-year-old
for a man older than my husband home.
It's not true.
It's a cute pussy.
And you've got a baby's pussy for a dick.
That's really mean.
That's really mean.
Adam Friedland.
Adam Friedland's guest star.
Also, we found a new way on this week's episode of The Simpsons.
You found a new way to stage.
You found a new way to stay.
Starting at 8-7 Central, The Simpsons, with special guest star Adam Friedland.
Oh, Adam, your penis is a baby's page.
It looks like a baby's pussy.
Did somebody say Adam's showing his penis?
Who's that?
Oh, Mr.
Burns.
You're the oldest man in town, so naturally you've seen the most penises.
That's right, Smithers.
What's the smallest one you ever seen?
That one right there.
I'm looking at it.
It's Adam's baby pussy penis.
Whoa, nice little fucking girl's pussy.
Was that otter?
Hell yeah, dude.
This gold, you're the dick, little.
Did you get it?
Sometimes I drive a school bus, and sometimes you accidentally see a child's penis.
And they're all bigger than that one.
I drive a school bus for a living, and this is the first time I wanted to kill myself.
That is a small penis.
No.
Hey, Homer.
Homer, you can't bring your tiny dick for me.
Homer, he can't be coming in here with a dick.
Homer, his dick is too small.
Hey, Homer, why is your friend's dick so small?
Are you don't bring it?
Hey, everybody.
Look how little his penis is.
Marge, everyone at Moes, who's making fun of Adam.
Small Dig.
Marge started it.
Yeah.
He was the first one to notice it, Homer.
Shut up, bitch.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
When is Homer going to stop abusing his son and start abusing his wife?
Shut up, Brit.
Special teams.
Every character calls Adam Stick Small, and then Overk tells Marsh to shut up.
That would be such an awesome episode.
I would watch the fuck out of that.
Yeah, me too.
It would feel good to get a TV credit.
Well, it wouldn't.
It would be just like
it'd be like The Simpsons back at their prime.
That one.
That show was really just the fucking best.
The uncut, beautiful shit.
Season 5, 6, the meat of it.
Nothing stepped on.
That buddy.
Buddha.
Duffman says your dick is small.
Wow.
Hi, you might remember me from looking at very small cocks.
This one is definitely the smallest one I've ever seen.
I'm Troy McClure.
By the way, I'm Troy McClure, and Adam's dick is small.
Your dick is too small.
Hey, is that Maggie's pussy?
And now
Adam's dick is small dancers.
Wow, how about a round of applause for the Adams Dickasmo dancers that have been giving up?
Yeah, they did a really good job dancing there.
That was great.
I found all these women at the battered women's shelter.
Homo, what were you doing down there?
Shut up, bitch.
Bitch, Mo.
Homer, I'm not.
Even though they made my kick the trains three seasons ago, you can't call me a bitch.
Is there a true?
There must be some kind of wild shit going on.
Smithers is out and gay now, right?
Is he?
He's sucking cock on the show, I think.
Yeah.
On cam, they're showing yellow cock.
Mm-hmm.
But I think that's the only change.
Every episode now is Homer going to the quickie mart, and he's like, you know, genuflecting towards Apu, who holds like a million advanced degrees.
And Apu's like,
yo, what's up, Mr.
Simpson?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you ready to become educated by the power of Indian ass?
No, that's a Pu's son.
That's a Pooh's son.
Apoo's like, yeah, that's when I use the claw.
Then he's like, oh, please, Apu, tell, I'm too much of a colonizer retard to
fucking understand anything.
And he's like, we're going to talk about Michael Brown for a minute.
And then all the characters show.
Every character is trans now.
That's awesome.
Chief Wiggum.
Didn't Patty.
Yeah, I'm a girl.
Wow.
I've got a pussy.
Wow.
Wow.
What is he, Wario?
Yeah, well, he makes that noise.
Does he?
Yeah, he does.
I know that.
Doesn't Patty have some...
Like, doesn't Patty get married to a trans?
Satcho Bob, dude.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Later on,
I think she's married to a golfer that's a chick.
That's got to be like season 14.
It's so late.
I was just watching TV one day and it came on, and it was like, I think I know what you're saying.
Not only is she a lesbian, but maybe it's her.
When it hits season 15, it was like, I just checked out.
I want to say she had like an F to M husband or some shit like that.
And I'm not even joking.
It'd be funny if seasons like 15 on at the Simpsons are just complaining about how other shows fell off.
That's why the show got bad.
Yeah.
It's just Homer being like, Archie Bunker's place was boring.
I would like to watch just a random episode from the last season.
I saw a trial from one of them and Otto was like the cat bus from Totoro.
And I was like, I have no idea.
What the fuck is happening?
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Was that a still or was it just some fucking nerd's art?
I think it was a picture of
your vagina.
So it was fantasy.
It was real?
Because if it was a picture of your dick and it was really small, then it would be real and scientific.
I thought it's a picture of a bus.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Every drawing of Adam is homo-realistic.
Come on, Graham.
Homo realistic.
There's a lot of homo-realistic on that.
I didn't know that, actually.
I'm really into homo-realist art.
Homorealism?
Yeah.
It's your favorite kind of art?
Yeah, yeah.
And that's just art that instead of paint, you use cum?
And how about instead of cum, you use a ridge wallet.
Wow.
Wow.
We're big fans of this product, folks.
And they're...
Damn it.
I mean, maybe in 20 minutes, you use original.
And before that, you used Blue Chew.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Chewable pills.
No, just chewables.
Chewables.
Chewables.
Chewables.
They are not the P-word.
They are not pills.
Don't say the P-word.
In fact, they work.
You can say penis.
Penis.
You know what?
No, you can say the P-word.
You can say pills because you know what, folks?
They can work faster than pills.
Yes.
It's a possible advantage.
But Blue Chew is what a beautiful fucking service for
anyone who's...
Look, we've all been there.
We've all had problems getting our cock stiff.
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It's a service we recommend to all our fans because it's changed lives.
It literally, I'm not kidding you.
I was at the bathroom at Union Hall and a guy came up to me at a show I was doing and he shook my hand and he said, This saved my relationship.
All right, so here's the deal.
Because I'll just cut to the chase, the nip to the butt of it.
And the relationship was you and him in the bathroom.
And I sucked his cock and it was so hard.
I chipped my tooth.
Because a lot of you already know about Blue Chew.
A lot changed that day.
A lot of you already know about Blue Chew, and you just say, what's the promo code?
or what you go to if you now you can just go to go.blue chew.com/slash come town.
That's
and it seemed that much faster.
You can use that link anywhere.
That's a huge advantage.
They want me to let you know that, and you can use this link anywhere.
Go.blueto.com slash slash cometown.
It's very simple.
It's https, colon forward slash forward slash go dot amazon aws dot s3
slash content
two two colon
underscore lowercase ZX six light sale instance dot S three two
slash N
podcast I
no no no no
I'm reading you're not reading anything
I'm looking at your phone right now it doesn't say what you're saying at all well I'm looking at it in a different way
It's go.comtown or go.bluechew slash come town.
Bluechew.com/slash come town.
Blue penis.
Go.bluechew.com slash.
Let's get that URL.
The URL is go.comchew.pinis.
Comechew.
So it's just
your name, Eldis.
It's go
Adam.
I've called you Eldis.
You call me Eldis?
Thank you.
That is another compliment that you've accidentally paid me today.
The other compliment will be on Sunday's episode.
Maybe I just miss hanging out with my boy.
I haven't called him gay in person in a while.
If you love sex, you'll love go.bluechew.com/slash compound.
All right, so
what was the other compliment I paid you on the premium?
All right, all right.
Right, right, right, right.
Adam.
Yeah.
By the way, Adam, you haven't promo code come town to check out and just pay five dollars shipping.
Bluechew.com promo code come town to receive your first month free.
Be very quiet.
First month free.
A lot of people listen to this show while they're going to sleep.
Everyone sleeps.
We hear a lot of people who go to sleep.
Think about getting your dick.
Think about how awesome it's going to be to have a hard-ass dick.
Bluechew.com promo code come town.
It's a secret.
It's a secret.
Maybe we should just start whispering.
Just the ads will do what it does.
Fast forwarding.
And I'm not sure.
No.
That's how you know the ads.
You can't say anybody.
It's not about the volume.
I was trying to be tactical.
That's tactical.
We all know you can't.
This is like my medium article.
I think whispering is a form of saying.
I got kicked out of the Kentucky Derby for whispering the N-word into the horse's ears.
I was trying to make them faster.
Blue Chew's unique online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Seattle.
Oh, I love that.
But in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost.
That's the biggest part for me.
Blue chews.
Blue chew's tablets.
Blitches.
I have to take my blitches.
I have to take the blitches.
Do you have any blitches?
You got any blitches?
Do you have any blitches?
Excuse me, do you have any ass sanitizer?
I did not see any ass sanitizer in the bathroom.
I need the blitches.
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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Let me fuck your ass on you.
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That's because I am gay.
What doesn't suck you, fuck you.
I'm gay.
Blue Chew is an online prescription service.
No visits to the doctor's office.
No awkward conversations.
No waiting in line at the pharmacy.
And it ships right into your ass in a discrete package.
Yep.
Nice little fucking
mail envelope.
Blue chew is a chewable, but it's also a fuckable.
A lot of people don't know that you can put it in the tip of your boyfriend's penis and have it fucked into your ass.
And that's actually the best way it works.
Yeah.
I mean, even if you're straight, it would work rectally, probably.
Yeah, I mean, it's closer to your dick.
It's closer to your dick.
Like that Rush song.
Yep.
A cold shot of head to your dick.
Those who hold our places
must be the ones who start
to mold a new reality
closer to my dick.
Yeah, the blacksmiths and the art.
What the fuck is that song?
It's about recycling.
I don't fucking know, dude.
My dick is too luscious to know information.
He's not smart enough to understand the language.
My dick cannot get hard.
But now that I've ordered Blue Chew.
Yeah, Canada doesn't have art.
They just have like public service announcements.
Yeah.
They don't understand.
They have Trailer Park Boys.
That's their fat.
Canada only has
community awareness programs.
Yes.
Uh-huh.
You know.
Yeah.
Yeah, they got
Trailer Park Boys and fucking.
They're doing a real shitty job with the vaccine.
Yeah, dude.
I'm pissed.
They're pushing to suck our dicks, Canada.
I'm pissed because I'm going to Seattle and Portland in August.
I wanted to go to Vancouver, but I don't think I'm going to be able to.
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And important safety information, which personally is going right in the garbage.
Yeah, as far as I'm concerned.
Personal safety, first of all, I am a drug addict.
I'm going, it's either this or cocaine.
And sometimes,
la both.
As you say in France, what a swirl.
Yeah, blue chew et cocaine, a la both.
A la pinette.
De la same time.
De la same time.
Closer to my cock.
Closer to my cock.
And my asshole will be moved
closer to my ass.
I will fuck a bunch of guys and suck them on the cocks.
And sock them on the cocks.
Yes, this is a banger, honestly.
Yeah, Rush rules.
Oh, yeah.
I've caught a lot of shit for liking Rush in my life.
Really?
And I'm waiting.
I'll be one day I'll be vindicated.
Everybody who's ever made fun of me for liking Rush will someday pretend that they've always liked Rush.
Yeah.
I used to play Twain Twain.
What was it called?
2021 or
no, 2012, 2112?
It's 1989.
You're thinking of the Taylor Swift album.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, you would listen to while kissing
magazine cutouts of Leonardo DiCaprio.
That's not true.
Yeah, you'd be kissing Tiger Beast.
That album came out like three years ago.
Yeah, but you got the old magazine.
You got the old magazines from when he looked like a girl, like a little girl.
I got no time in the air, so working all the time.
It seems to me I'm lying.
a man player.
I guess you're smiling for me.
Call me the working man.
Call me the working man.
It's so funny to play that song to not do my job, which is already not a real job.
Well, I'm going to take a little break.
They call me the working man.
That was Rush.
You're just going to play a whole rush album while we watch another episode of 70.
Being a terrestrial DJ, what a sweet job.
Be like, yeah, it appears Monica Lewinsky is saying she had sex with the president.
I guess that's why you call her a slut.
Here's Rush.
Yeah.
There's a lot of traffic on Northbound 95.
I guess Monica Lewinsky is her pussy.
Stay tuned.
Later, we're going to have a local guy who does something in the studio, and he's going to tell us about it.
Bill Clinton is
fucking gay.
He's a vacuum.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, dude.
They really only need like for a full five hours, they probably needed to talk for like seven and a half minutes.
It's awesome, dude.
It's funny when Joe Robinson, for a hot second, had his own like afternoon drive show on 98 Rock.
Yeah.
And he would just be like, what the fuck is this garbage?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it the music that would make him play music?
Of course, it's programmed.
It's like.
And then it's all like 98 Rock's listeners.
So I had to be like...
Three doors down.
No, not even that shit.
It was always like
seether.
Yeah, like that, like fuel.
Full beat.
Bottle of mud.
Headstrong.
You know.
Suck dick.
Fuck your ass.
Yeah.
I'm gay.
Oh, I'm gay.
Yeah, dude.
Sometimes
when I'm in Baltimore, I'll throw on 90 Rock just to just to catch the
rock fan.
I was a rock fan.
For the rock.
They don't rock as hard anymore.
I'm sorry to say it.
They used to.
What happened to rocks, dude?
Don't even get me.
It's a goddamn shame.
Yeah.
Headstong, I'll suck you off.
We should make a movie about the guys just bring rock and roll back.
Dude, hell yeah.
That's true.
That'd be cool.
I'm sick of all this rap crap.
Like Detroit Rock City.
Yeah.
I used to fucking love that song.
I've seen that movie too.
It's good.
I don't know if it's actually good or if I liked it whatever.
The movie's fine.
Kiss.
I want to suck a dick.
Kiss on.
Kiss.
No, dude, that guitar solo.
Play it, dude.
Kiss is good.
Fuck you.
Kiss has some bangers.
No, dude, you only like Kiss because you're a Zionist and Gene Simmons was born in Israel.
Yeah.
That does happen.
It does happen to align with some of my most personally
held political beliefs.
How about Clean Siemens?
Clean Siemens?
And he eats it all up.
Oh, with his big tongue.
With his giant tongue.
Yeah, he looks up all the calm for the rest of the man.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah.
KISS actually stands for Keep Eating Semen Stupid.
Keep I Eating Semen Stupid.
Yeah.
Keep ingesting Semen Stupid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's your contribution is the word, yeah.
Yeah, that's what it is.
You can use the wire.
Yeah, use the real wire.
Oh, yeah, dude.
I like the doom and guitars part.
No, what the fuck is this bullshit?
Use some cover.
He's blowing it.
That was actually me playing.
What was this?
This is
Stop's Dream Board.
This is not me.
You love Taylor Swift, bro.
I have nothing against Taylor Swift.
Stop cutting out pictures of Jake Joe Hall
and using a glue stick to put him on his walls.
His bald, long hair and ponytails.
And pigtails?
Pigtails.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is fucking Harry Styles.
Kissing Harry Styles.
He's not that cute.
Everybody here wanted something more.
Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before.
And I said, Welcome to New York.
I play this every time I drive here.
Welcome to New York.
Every time the plane lands.
I have a beach pill.
Can I blare it?
Welcome to New York.
Welcome to New York.
It's a new soundtrack.
I could dance with this beat.
I remember listening to this on the subway before my sexual assault.
Yeah.
The city can really just turn you out.
It was a homeless guy.
There's only Adam and a homeless guy on the train car, and Adam was across from him in the aisle.
And the homeless guy was just looking pissed and like slowly beating off the Adam while narrowing his eyes.
And Adam was like, Kaju, and he's like, Shut up.
And then Adam just sat there while the guy kept beating off.
Classic New York.
Is that what happened, Adam?
Yeah.
Welcome to New York.
Welcome to my pork.
You know what I always say about
the city?
Is that every time they suck?
Yeah, welcome to my pork.
My pork.
And it's food.
It's not your penis.
It's my dick.
It's food.
My dick is the pork.
Welcome to my penis.
Welcome to my penis.
Welcome to my penis.
I remember the other day you sang the tequila song by my penis.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
Yeah.
It's good to have a 14-minute intro to the one-line
listening more.
I'm trying to find the solo.
The true solo.
Hey, y'all, you need to watch.
Oh yeah.
You know, it's not as good as Thin Lizzy as far as dueling guitars go.
But when I was 15, dude, I'm cranking this shit.
Alright, you know.
Gay, gay ass fucking.
No, dude.
It's not, I'll admit, it was not, it did not rock as hard as I remembered it, but it's pretty good still.
No, a kiss sucks.
Dude, they have some bangers.
No.
You got to be able to find beauty in everything.
Nah.
Or in most things.
Not everything.
That's actually one of my greatest skills.
Finding beauty in everything.
I see an ugly woman and I see a beautiful soul.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
That's really good of you.
Well, you know what's also good of you is Ridgewall.
Yeah.
Which Ridge Ridge just sent us the
Some of you, let me go to RidgeWallet.com.
Yeah, they sent us a nice little fucking thing.
Oh, you know what we have to do?
They sent, we've been talking about backpacks.
Me and Adam talked about backpacks.
So there's a wallet company.
Dude, Getty Lee looks so much like Steven.
He does.
That's crazy.
He does look a lot like Stephen.
Let me ask you something, man.
Should I move to Canada?
It's really good.
It's really, it's honestly, it's really good to be in Canada.
Who knows who Steven is?
We're talking about our friend friend Steven.
I just never noticed how much he looks like Eddie Lee.
Really good to see you, man.
This is a great night, man.
This is a great night.
Huge night.
Huge night.
We're having a big one tonight.
It's Wednesday.
Yeah, so Ridge Wallet, they were a wallet company.
Now they got a whole rack of shit.
They got a lot of stuff.
They sent it to us.
Me and Adam were talking about backpacks.
Nick, they said listeners of
two nice backpacks, one little one.
Nick, of course, even though he has a backpack he likes, takes one of the big ones for himself.
Now me and Adam are left fighting over the crumbs.
Yeah, and you know, listeners of the show will, but you know, you listen to old episodes.
I've constantly been on the retweet website saying, I want the commuter pack.
We all have a backpack.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Even though he already has the backpack.
I want it.
I don't
between backpacks.
I have to set up me and Adam's battle for the backpack, dude.
I'm raising classic in classic.
I had to to
play the test.
I'm on the backpack.
You guys get the two chips.
Well, you have a chair.
I got a chair.
This is
free shipping and returns on all wallets.
They got a lifetime warranty, free 45-day returns, and 40,000 five-star reviews.
Now,
I will decide who gets the big bad.
No, you don't get to decide.
We need rock, paper, scissors for it.
Like gentlemen.
And we'll do it right on air.
So I challenge you to rock paper scissors at dawn.
Let's do it.
Rock, paper, scissors.
And the loser
shall be declared a homosexual.
Shit, those stakes are so high.
Don't do it, Charlie.
He's won every game of rock, paper, scissors.
And I've been holding out for the Ridge Wallet.
You know what they do to homosexuals in this town?
What do they do?
They make them dance down at the saloon.
You'll be living, you'll be tab dancing on top of that piano till your ankles shatter.
Oh, gosh.
What a terrible thing.
It's that kind of town.
It's P-Town.
Yep.
That's That's where we are.
Provincetown.
We're in Provincetown.
We're called the Provincetown Cowboys.
And what we do is we play rock, paper, scissors, and the loser has to suck the other guy off.
And eventually everybody loses.
Yeah.
We should go, honestly, this summer, we should go to Provincetown.
No.
The gay capital of Massachusetts.
I don't think we should.
Adam, this sounds like a huge.
Yeah, why don't you go by yourself?
I was trying to make a bunch of people.
Me and Stop will take our big Ridgewallet backpacks.
He hasn't run the backpack yet.
Like an island just for straight guys.
Just for straight guys.
No chicks.
No gay guys.
No gay shit a lot.
It's just fucking a couple of guys.
It's just a bunch of straight guys playing extremely high stakes, rock, paper, scissors.
Hanging out.
Hanging out, wearing the Ridge Wallet backpacks.
Ridge wallet backpacks and nothing else.
They're celebrating National Parks Week at Ridge Wallet, and they're doing that by Yosemite in your hands.
Your best-selling
top
map wallet.
It has the world-renowned half-dome laser engraving.
That's nice.
I get fooled though.
I like that wallet, except for the fact that it's not travel bags.
I prefer not coming.
You're up with their line of trusty travel bags.
Where's the durable waterproof commuter?
The upright piece of shit in my ass.
The doctor said, Joe,
you have an upright piece of shit in your ass.
And I said, Doc, what does that mean?
And he said, imagine the big, the long Tetris piece.
Imagine it's sideways, and you're trying to wedge it into
a slot.
Yep.
And we got to turn that piece in your ass.
And this is before the civil rights movement.
They said the only way to do it is with the black-ass cock.
Whoa, for real.
And I was the only guy in Delaware that said, fuck me in my ass.
Well, go ahead and fuck me.
Go ahead and fuck me in my ass.
And that's, and that saved my life.
Shop and support.
Let's take a look at the travel bags.
I moved over from my former Adidas backpack to the Ridge commuter backpack.
Yeah, it looks nice.
Looks nice.
A lot of pockets.
Looks like very functional, minimalistic design.
And you know what, Brad?
I think it's time now that we did.
All right.
It's part of our ad.
We're doing best of three.
Best of three, of course.
We're doing rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Okay.
All right.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Fuck.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Fuck!
Fuck!
That's fine.
I don't even want the background.
I won.
It was a good one.
All those jokes lost.
I won
a bunch of chocolate on his hands.
Yes.
Fuck!
Restricting him from picking anything other than Rock.
You should have seen Stop during Catan.
God damn.
During cocaine, Katana would cook that play Catan.
That's how you play to win.
Stop
banging the table, and the fucking roads were flying in the face.
Honestly, one of my favorite things in life is being fucked up on cocaine and playing Catan.
You need a fourth person.
I have a son, too.
A lot of people don't know that.
I have the child that I'm raising.
You don't mention it a lot on the show.
I don't.
I should have gone fucking paperwork.
I gon' pay red rock every round.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Adam.
Fuck you.
You know why I did that?
Because I love rock, dude.
You love cock?
No, I didn't say that.
Don't twist my words.
Fuck.
Anyway, so you're bad at rock, paper, scissors.
What's the promo code for Ridgewall at Doc?
You know, I don't even think we have one.
It's either Come Town or Come Town 20, if there is even one.
There is a promo code.
We love this product.
Nick swears by the.
I've been using the wallet, but
they just re-upped us and all this shit.
I got Ridgewater.
They just sent us a swag bag.
Now I'm using the 18-karat gold one.
So now when my wallet, when I get robbed at gunpoint,
the wallet was also worth something.
And I'm completely naked, covered in bruises.
And the police are like, wow, so are you some kind of millionaire?
And I'm like, yes.
Yes, I am.
And then have a ticker tape parade for me through the town.
That would be awesome.
I'm imagining it now.
Yeah.
And it also has RFID protection.
And as you know, most of our listeners are baby boomers who are constantly getting scammed.
And this is one way to keep your cards safe from gypsies.
That's true.
That is true.
It also has RFNJ, too.
What?
What do you mean, what?
It's another technology.
They have that technology as well.
It's Adam.
It's RFNJ.
So you want to go to ridgewallet.pussy.com.
And you actually want to get not the commuter, the smaller one, because that's the cooler one.
That is the one as worn by Stavros from Colorado.
That's the Stavros Algis bag.
Fuck, dude.
I'm fucking pissed.
It was a fair battle, and I won.
I don't catch a lot of dubs, you know?
And I was due one.
And I think as a friend of mine, I'm going to take a couple extra wallets.
You should be happy.
Take some wallets.
I'm going to take a wallet.
Take the knife.
I'm going to take the knife.
Take the knife.
I'm going to take.
I think you're keeping the weekender duffel?
Yeah, well, that's where the stuff stays in there.
The stuff stays in there.
That's the whole stuff that Ridge Wallet is sent.
Okay.
I was going to propose maybe be fair if we both got the two big backpack stuff.
That's not a bad idea.
No, no, no.
Just to be diplomatic.
None of us get a duffel.
What do you mean?
What do you mean you get a duffel?
No, it's part.
of it.
I'm not using it for anything other than the branded merchandise that comes.
That's how we divvy everything out.
But that doesn't live forever.
It has to be the duffel.
You can put it anywhere else.
It could be used as a duffel.
We're not discussing this.
All right.
We'll negotiate this after the show.
I was trying to be Solomonic.
Thank you.
And split the baby.
I appreciate that, Adam, because it's all about fairness.
Sounds like he's trying to be a little more Abrahamic
in Solomon.
That's true.
Something got taken away from you, and now he wants to take something away from you.
Well, I think actually.
That's why you're hoarding resources.
You got the golden wallet.
He did.
You got the duffel.
He just told me I couldn't touch his gold.
You got the duffel and the big backpack?
I think it's only fair I get the duffel.
If you can't touch
gold, and there's a chemical difference in the oils that your genes secrete.
Yeah, I think
I don't think gold tarnishes.
Silver does.
The tarnish should absorb some of the gold.
If we do it, it's 17 carat, then 16.
Interesting.
It soaks up all the carrots.
I didn't know that.
That's why they can't get the basically jewels are like the sun for them.
Whereas we can get photosynthesis.
We can get tan.
Yeah.
You know, me, eventually I'll develop skin cancer, but I get a nice bronze because
these people, they just need
gold.
Yeah.
I love gold.
Oh, that's good gold.
Yeah, yeah.
You got a gold mill.
So go check out Rich Wallet, folks.
And then quietly impersonating gold.
Yeah.
Scorsese used to do a movie called The Jewish Jewishman, and then it's
somebody called The Uncut Gems The Jewish Man.
Oh, that's good.
But anyways, it's a movie about a Jewish guy that's four hours long, and he's just on the phone with Apple customer support, trying to get his email to work.
I also want to say real quick, while we're in the plug zone, that I will be doing some hours in New York City to get ready for a summer tour.
That's right.
So, and actually my friend Adam will be accompanying me on May 11th at the Tiny Cupboard.
And then also on May 19th, I'll be at Come On Everybody doing an hour there as well.
Oh, our old home.
Our old stomping grounds.
We'll be bringing back that big announcement.
Funny moms the following week.
Funny moms is back, folks.
I also have a show on the 13th called Pantheon that will be a
like a showcase show.
And then Fat Tuesdays is at the end of every month.
And I believe Nick will be doing the last one in May.
So
a lot of opportunities.
Go to stavi.biz,
and I will be working on my hour in the city.
And I hope to see you there, folks.
I'm excited for funny moments coming.
Also, if you want a more come town, less backpack debates, tearing the show apart, check out patreon.com/slash come town,
where there's a extra episode every week on Sundays, the day of the Lord.
That's right.
And it's mostly religious study.
Bible studies.
This one we're going to dive into.
We've talked about the
Old Testament quite a bit.
This week on religion chat, Indians, do they have a Bible?
What is it all just a bunch of ADA bullshit on
squiggles?
Well, I think they write it down.
No, they have a very noodle-y language.
They have a noodly type.
Is there some language that doesn't get written down?
I guess it would have been lost if that's true.
I think the Indian origin myth is the old craft mac and cheese commercials with the dinosaurs is going through the cheese river.
Dude, those were awesome commercials.
Creation of the earth.
Those are some of the best commercials.
Yeah, I remember as a kid being like, Can I go?
Where is that?
I need to bathe in that cheese river pool.
Yeah.
What does the dinosaur have to do with macaroni and cheese?
It looks like the cheesiest river.
Yeah.
Damn, I wish I was a child again, dude.
I hate fucking mortality.
I don't know.
I think being old is pretty cool.
I'm enjoying it.
No, I miss the innocence and the mac and cheese.
No, you were guilty even as a child.
I really wasn't.
I wasn't until I saw the negativity of the world.
A rapist child.
I was guilty.
It's called original sex.
No.
Until the demonic need to get pussy came into my brain, I was such a fat, jolly, happy child.
You're a
sweet person.
I was so sweet.
And then when I wanted girls to like you.
You were a rapist.
I wasn't a rapist.
What are you talking about?
As a child?
Now I'm saying, now you're a rapist.
No, I'm not a rapist.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I was trying to fucking levy accusations like that.
You know what?
Yeah, just to get it.
You were saying, until I wanted pussy, I was innocent.
Now
I'm a rapist.
No, now I now...
So I raped.
I felt bad about myself.
I never had any issues with confidence until I was a little kid.
You hit puberty.
They wanted girls to like you.
You hit puberty at 23 years old.
I hated it.
And then you immediately at the right time.
You know that Stav hit it at the right time.
I hit it at 27 years old.
And what was that?
83 years ago?
That was 83 years ago.
That was in the 19th century.
What up, Mars?
Do Ralph.
Ralph who wiggle.
I don't know if I could do Ralph.
I don't even remember that.
I could do Ralph.
I bet my penis.
I bet my penis is small.
Adam's dick.
I don't want to do it to myself.
Adam's dick is small.
Yvonne that Niage.
That's when that show got really fucking bad.
That might have been the last episode I watched on Sunday.
Yeah, that was...
You know what?
That's true.
Yeah.
I remember that one being weird.
Suck my fucking dick.
Every once in a while I would check back in in the later years, but it was not good.
Just at, you know, I'm at home.
Maybe I'm back from college.
Yeah, I'm sure it can be good sometimes, but it's like when fucking Mickey Rourke tries to make it to the birthday party in the wrestler.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, yeah, sometimes, you know, he can come around and play the role, but
this is not my beautiful house.
It's not my big fat wife.
And you may find yourself fucking some huge bitch.
Damn, I want to watch the wrestler again.
You might ask yourself,
why is this bitch so big?
And then things come back.
Man, this bitch is fucking fat.
This bitch is fucking fat.
And
she didn't used to be, and now you're fucking some big fat bitch.
And your wife got fat, and if you leave her, it'll be an article about you.
And it's kind of fucked up.
Your only option is to cheat.
And then the fucking.
And then you get caught cheating.
And everyone's mad at you.
Why did that bitch get back?
It's because of all the articles saying she should.
This is kind of a raw deal for you.
It's pretty fucked up for men.
If you think about it, if you think about it, women are my pussy.
But only if they're honest.
oh my lord.
Oh my god, Adam, your penis is so small.
Who's that?
The Jew, that's Harvey Firestone.
Oh yeah.
Who's also in the
middle?
Mr.
Simpson, Mr.
Simpson Adam's penis is small.
Mr.
Simpson Adams' penis is way too small to be in the power ben.
That was a great
homer.
Yeah, that's a Homer's Homer.
Was that Assistant?
Is that like the first season?
It's early on, though.
It's like season four or five.
Yeah.
I want to watch Simpsons.
Why don't you watch my Dixons?
It's on Disney Plus?
It's on Disney Plus Plus.
Really good shit is.
That's where all the good stuff is.
It's my Dickens.
Yeah, season two.
Season two.
It's way, way earlier.
You know what I did recently, which was on Disney Plus Heavyweights.
Which is an absolute masterpiece.
Listen, you don't have to tell me about it.
This is the best movie of all time.
You don't have to tell me, dude.
That's how I envision myself.
So good.
Yeah.
Ben Siller is
on fire.
I loved it.
Yeah.
Well, he's the villain, so.
No, I mean.
So he's bad.
You can like the bad.
You can love but hate the bad.
How he behaves is unacceptable towards those beautiful children.
I think he's trying to help them out.
He's not.
And if that's how you actually think, you're a fucking sick person.
The scene where they're confiscating the hidden candy.
I hated that.
Did you cry?
I was, honestly, I was like, I am.
Is that your Schindler's list?
Yes.
I was so fucking sad.
And I also imagined, I only went to camp one time, like a sleepaway camp.
And I imagined how I would hide candy, and I never did.
You didn't bring candy and hide it?
No, I didn't bring candy and hide it.
Wow.
It's fucked up.
That's really fucked up.
So, what else is in the news, folks?
We got a crisis at the border.
The European Super League soccer.
The European Super League.
Seems like it might ruin everything.
How about a Dice at the border?
Yeah.
And there's a bunch of immigrants that are like, hickory dickory dock.
I'm fucking, my child's been separated.
I say, they said they're going to take the kids away.
Everyone's crying.
I said, get the fucking kids out of here so I can get some pussy.
I'm trying to get my dick sucked in and not jail.
It's the Dice.
The The dice is at the board.
That's good stuff.
The dice president Joe Biden.
Dice president Bambala Harris.
Dice President Andrew Yang.
I'm trying to get my little dick sucked.
Hickory dickory dock.
Suck on my tiny cock.
That's good, Andrew.
Thank you.
How much is he about to be mayor?
What's Andrew Dice Yang?
Since most people know him, I guess.
Just from losing
the presidency.
What has he done?
like what is that guy about what is his job
his job is he ever like what does he do before you can't vote for him because he's Chinese
like in uh tech or something probably
he was a lawyer also I think maybe I invented the first uh jeans that have a magnifying glass on the zipper
he's an inventor wow he has a patent for Adam's jeans I used the money to get pussy and now I have an autistic son who I'm trying to fix with a different pair of jeans.
And I haven't really figured out.
I tried just a different moving the magnifying glass, but that just made his asshole look bigger and didn't really do anything about the autism.
Wow.
Wow, Andrew.
I guess you're really a one-trick pony, huh?
All you have is the magnifying glass idea.
Yeah, that guy's kind of a one-dick pony.
Fuck.
He's a total one-dick pony.
Stop's a real one-inch pony.
No, I'm not.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
I'm a different kind.
Partner, what the hell kind of pony is that?
That pony's dick looks like Maggie Simpson's penis.
I am, I mean, it was hurtful to hear all the characters.
One of my favorite show tell me my penis is small, but I'm impressed for
the show that you found a new way just to describe a penis as being a baby's pussy.
Yeah, there's got to be other characters we missed.
Oh, there's a lot.
There's the Mexican bee
had a daddy daddy.
Oh my god, how do we not do Flanders?
Yeah, my, I, I, I don't know if I've ever said it on the show or even in conversation, but you want to have sex with Flanders?
But Black Flanders saying how
the N-word noodley boo burino, which is very funny to me.
Yeah, yeah.
That joke is what we call
a meal prep kit.
Yeah, just play it.
You get to cook it yourself.
Play it in your head.
Haddally, beeply.
It's like a Hello Fresh.
Haddly Beeply Noodly Biperino.
Oh, fuck, dude.
I hate eating salads.
I'm already hungry again, dude.
I had one just before we recorded.
Yeah, and a salad before we recorded the first one.
I know, it sucks.
Poor hate salads, dude.
Dude, you're going to...
I can't wait till you're...
You're like a skinny bitch.
No, I'll never do that.
Yeah.
So how much weight have you lost?
Since September, I've lost 45 pounds.
Put that on the board, everybody.
Yeah.
And what are you going for?
80?
I don't fucking know, dude.
I just want to have big arms little titties, dude.
I'd like to get down to 69 at least because it's a meme.
69 pounds?
At least.
To weigh that much?
No, no, no.
I'd like to lose 69 pounds.
So you lost 45 and you started at what, 390 million?
Honestly, I literally started at 315.
I had gotten fat as hell during the pencil.
Yeah.
So now you're down a slim 270.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that's the norm.
That's back to a regular stop weight.
I think it's a little bit less than regular stop.
Slightly.
I'm at 260.
You were at 270 when we went to DC for the first live show remember that
how do you remember that i keep track of these
i literally have no idea how
you were 265 pounds when we went to the when we went on 5'3 265 yeah
number 5'7 and a half thank you very much and now you're six 270 276 too so you're five you've gained five pounds no i'm 266 as of this morning actually thank you so you've gained one pound I did not weigh 265.
What are you talking about?
You weighed 265.
I have a picture.
How do you know this?
Because that was the thinnest you've been in years.
But I don't remember that.
I remember it.
How do you remember that?
I keep track of these things.
I'm going to tell you.
Adam, if you were like,
you know, your
HIV was kicking up and you were like, my T cells are.
It's called flaring up.
Yes.
It's flaming.
Wait, when did we go to D.C.?
When the fuck did we go to D.C.?
When was that?
At the end of 2017.
We went twice.
I don't fucking remember.
At the end of 2017.
The point is, I don't think about the past, brother.
I'm in the future.
I'm moving forward.
Well,
it's, you know, the progress is real.
Thanks.
I don't mean I don't really give a fuck.
I was just talking about how I'm tired of my salads.
Here you go.
This is stuff, and you're next to Dasha, and she weighs, what, like fucking seven pounds, so you can see, but in comparison.
Okay.
You were 265 in that pick?
I guess.
I don't apparently according to Nick.
Look at that.
He's spelt.
Oh, you do kind of look good in that.
Okay, well I don't appreciate the tone of that.
Yeah.
Adam, kind of, you do kind of look good with a little surprise.
Oh, I remembered you.
I've looked good at every weight.
Oh, no, you look trim.
That's how much I weigh now.
Maybe it's less hair.
Yeah.
It's less hair.
If I had less hair, I would look.
You'd look like Jason Sathan.
I'd look like Jason Sathan.
Yeah.
265 bald?
Woo.
Oh, Oh, yeah.
That's the thing.
This hair weighs at least 10 pounds.
Oh, my God.
Does it hair weight?
I'm probably 255.
Yeah, yeah.
Can I suck your dick?
Can I see your ass?
Yeah, it's really.
Can I eat your asshole?
Yeah.
Thank you to the guy who snitched to Creed so that I couldn't sell those t-shirts.
That guy has to be really cool.
that guy
that is a cool move
is going to show him
uh all right folks i got seems like
i have this this picture of this show on my phone i have no idea where that is or who that is on of us
i don't know where that is Oh, you know what?
No?
Is it DC?
Is it somewhere in Geotag?
Because that's why, well, it is somewhere in DC.
That's why I've got it.
Oh, you know what it must have been?
It must have been the DC Drafts house.
And they were playing around with, I think it's closed now, unfortunately.
The pandemic got them.
Got their asses.
Can I see your dick?
Can I eat your juice?
Can I suck all the cum out of your penis?
Bada-bum, ba-da-mum, ba-da-ba-fa.
My fucking dangle.
You can probably just sell the shirt as it says, can I see your penis?
Just take the creed off of it?
I'll take the creed off of it.
What if you just say Scott Staff?
This is still one of my favorite pictures.
Yeah, that's a great thing.
Oh, you going over the river?
That was a good day, man.
That's a beautiful photo.
That was so funny, dude.
What was that girl's name, Jess?
Jesse.
Jesse.
What's she up to?
Just hanging out.
Let's give her a call on the phone.
Or call her up on the show.
I will not be calling up.
My friend Jesse on the phone.
Jennifer!
It's Michael from the podcast.
Yeah, I'm not good with names.
Not even my own.
Not even my own name.
This is David Stevenson Homo.
My name is Michael Sexual.
I'm a Michael Sexual.
My name is David Having Sex.
Yeah.
My name is Benjamin Eating Bust.
Tasty.
All right.
Well, yeah.
So, folks, if you want, we're doing a live show at the Marlborough Theater.
No, we're not.
In Westfield, Massachusetts.
No, we're not.
No, no, no.
We're doing Westfield, Huntington, Chester, Pittsfield, Chesterfield, Lenox, Williamston,
Newfane, Putney,
Ludlow, Rutland.
Is that where we're doing a tour?
Yeah, Taconderoga.
Nice.
Scroon Lake.
We're doing what?
A Western Mass tour?
Wells, Speculator, Old Forge.
Speculator in Massachusetts.
Louisville,
Oswego, Prince Edward.
Okay, so what are we in?
New York now?
Trent Hills, Peterborough,
Huntsville.
Yep.
North Bay.
Nick will be at all those places.
I will be, like I said, Kirkland Lake, Iroquois,
Kapuska Kiss.
Kuskostavi.biz for all my days.
Kapuska Sing.
I have to piss.
We're doing the Winnisk River Provincial Park.
Yeah, we are doing that.
That is true.
That's real.
The rest are made of.
We'll see you at the park, folks.
Sipowesk Lake.
Check us out.
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