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Check, check, check.
Pussy check.
How's that sound?
It's fine.
Cunt.
Okay.
Fine, everything's always fine.
There we go.
Cock, cock.
Is she good?
Yeah, everything's fine.
Do you have a timer going?
Yeah.
Oh, I got it.
Suck me like drugba.
Suck my penis like drugbar.
well
where we going?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Hey.
Welcome to Come Town.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Come Town.
Boys, do you see anything different?
Look.
Oh,
it's fake.
But
you lost 200 pounds.
I didn't notice it until you said that, but you're 200.
Let's go.
Stop is 115 pounds.
Yeah, Stav, you look bad, actually.
Yeah, dude, I'm emaciated.
Yeah.
Look how big my dick is, though.
Zip?
Hold on.
Zip?
You just made a pat sound on your thigh with a nail.
That was my big ass dick.
That was my big dick.
It was a pat sound.
Congrats, bro.
I mean,
it's really weird.
Stav goes on like a 600-pound life and the Iranian guy.
I don't have a real one.
I know.
The Iranian guy's like, he's come here because he wants his businesses too small.
Like
he wants his penis to look bigger, so we are going to cut his stomach off.
But first he needs to spend three weeks not eating pizza rolls.
So we are going to film him maybe being bad, have one, maybe two pizza rolls.
And he cry.
And we videotape him cry and then we put it on T V.
And then he come back, and when he come back, we say, you were very bad, fat boy.
but we will do this surgery anyway.
Do they have a doc?
I've never seen that show.
Yeah, it's this Iranian guy.
Every single episode, the show should just be called San Antonio.
Yeah, it's all,
yeah.
All of those gastric bypass centers are in textbooks.
Yeah, I mean, if they always go to the same one in like Houston or whatever.
In Houston, yeah.
And it's some guy that's like Imram Nazarado Dadab, you know, who's it's just some Iranian guy that only does like gastric bypass stuff.
But he's you know, he's like this, he's got this like reserved affect and he's always like you know she is a very fat
I remember there was one night
Stav goes on the show and they he's like yeah I'm just trying to get my I want my dick I want my dick looking huge I wanted to look huge and then they do he loses all the weight and it's he still has a small dick
and then
and then the doctor's like uh well it has been a success at least in terms of prolonging our life and Stav's just in tears he's like I just want to be fat
Six months later, turn me back.
Stav is going to be
gained back all of the weight, plus 400 pounds.
And it's cuts to a shitty house in Texas with no furniture.
It's funny.
All those people are so poor.
Yeah, and they always have like a feeder, too.
They always have someone that's like, like a mother who like lost the last child as a baby.
All of their houses.
I just want my beautiful boy to eat.
All of their houses are home.
Three hamburgers.
These look like the houses I'd go hang out in when I lived in Austin that would just be like four comedians that rented a family house, right?
Right, right.
So it's like they got like a TV PlayStation and then like something like a couch stolen from the floor.
Yeah, yeah, the TV on the floor, the couch stolen from Renta Center, and then maybe like, yo, check out this, like, this dumb art I found, like one thing on the wall, right, right, yeah, from Target.
Yeah, it's like a Batman clock, yeah,
and then that's it, then it's just all plastic plates all over the place, and fucking cop rod,
Trash bags and tower cans
to be found anywhere.
I mean, I'd still do that.
I still have, there's a giant contractor bag right behind you, just filled with garbage.
Damn, dude, time to level up.
Contractor bags are amazing.
Yeah,
so much never changed, dude.
I try to do a regular kitchen bag, and then I end up just throwing it in the contractor bag, and it's like, let's just go trash bag in the middle of the apartment, baby.
Yeah,
I do recall this being here when you were cleaning up.
Yeah.
And then there was a time where it never went away.
No, it's a feature.
Yeah.
It's part of the geography of the apartment.
Right behind the couch on the left side.
It's an installation piece.
An a dick succulation.
A dick succulation piece.
Yeah, I used to uh me and when me and Chris lived together, we didn't have a trash can.
We just had a a a section of the apartment.
A pile.
Just a trash corner.
Just a pile of garbage.
Dude, I wish I could have seen that apartment with my own eyes.
I mean, it was it was good when I was there, and then there was like a noticeable haze when you went in.
It was like mustard gas or something.
It was humid.
Yeah.
And
after I moved out, it was hilarious because Chris, the electricity would get shut off all the time.
And he had just like an extension cord running into like the vacant apartment next door.
That is so awesome.
How would he use the microwave or the stove?
Nothing.
It just went to the TV.
He just used the stove and played probably games also.
Probably had one for his PC and one for the TV.
No, well, the PC was the TV.
Oh, nice.
It went into like the projector.
Respects.
Yeah, Chris didn't game.
I was the one that played video games.
I love the idea.
I don't know Cuba as I will.
I've only met him a couple times, but I love the idea that at his peak, drunk ass you was more responsible than him.
Drunk ass you being the one keeping order in an apartment is a hysterical idea.
I mean, I was also a mess, just not.
I didn't eat as much as he did because he was fat, so he would naturally make a a bigger mess than I was.
But I would get drunk and
throw bottles against the wall.
There'd just be broken glass all over the apartment.
Yeah,
cards.
Yes.
Yeah.
I remember you.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah, we would go nuts, dude.
Just throwing cards.
Just fucking throw just decks of cards all over it.
No, because he showed me.
I didn't know how to do it.
And he showed me.
I got real good at it.
And then we would just throw cards all day.
You can do it hard enough, you can cut somebody.
Hell yeah, dude.
Yeah,
yeah, fucking gambit, dude.
Yeah, let me see your pusset.
Yeah, let me fuck you and y'all around.
Now, look, dude,
you in a trench coat,
walking down Austin in the middle of the summer, throwing cards at women that won't fuck you.
Throwing cards at the bitches.
That's how you hit on bitches, dude.
Put them on your bitch.
Make a bitch take a stroll.
Slice her with a card.
Ricky J, one of David Mammoth's favorites.
Uh-huh.
Who's that?
Ricky actor.
He died in the last year.
Really?
Ricky J, he's in Boogie Knights.
He's a character actor.
Yeah,
he was in every David Mammoth movie.
But he's that fat, like, bearded Jewish.
No, he kind of looks like a comic book store guy from The Simpsons.
Yeah, if you saw him, you'd recognize him.
I'll look him up.
But not a good actor.
Really?
No.
He was alright.
Yeah, but he's just like a good guy.
Oh, I think
boogie nights.
Yeah, but he's
this guy.
Yeah, he's a professional
card trick.
Yeah, American magician is what it comes up as.
I didn't know he was a magician.
Wow.
Yeah, he's well, he's a card guy.
Wait a second.
He's described.
No, he was just described Ricky J.
Potash, known professionally as Ricky J, was an American stage magician, actor, bibliophile, and writer.
Yeah,
reads a lot of
Wikipedia that he likes books.
Bitch.
Yeah, what a nerd.
Fuck Ricky J, dude.
Let's see his fucking filmography, dude.
Yeah, he's been in a lot of good shit.
My name is Ricky J.
Suck on my penis.
Ricky J sounds like a fake Indian name.
I thought he was a joke.
If you called the car call center, they'd be like,
hello, my name is Ricky J
with Verizon, and I'm here to help you.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah, all right.
I know that's not your name, Ricky.
Sanjay, that's not your name.
Ricky J.
I think Ricky J could just be an Indian guy's name, actually.
What if his name is Sockdicky Gay?
His first credit is the Tonight Show with Carson in 1978.
What if his name was Sock Dicky Gay?
Yeah.
Sorry, I missed that one because it was an Indian guy's voice, but yes.
What if?
That's good, man.
You should transition into just doing the show as an Indian guy.
Yeah, save us all some time.
I'm going to get into Bollycasting.
Bolly fishing.
What is Bollywood named after?
It's like Hollywood, but
Indian.
In Bali.
I guess.
It's not in Bali.
That's in the Pacific.
That doesn't make any sense, Stop.
I don't know why.
Well, what the fuck is your explanation then, Mother?
Well, it's B is for something.
It's like fucking Baghdad or
Baghdad.
That's a rap.
Bali is closer than Baghdad.
I know, it's not Baghdad, but I mean, I know it's not Bali also.
Yeah, well.
Bombay, that's what it is.
Bombay.
Yeah, Bombay.
So they're Bollywood.
So they have Bollywood.
It's not called Bombay anymore.
So they're like
Mumbai.
Mumbai.
They're going to have their own
fucking podcasting world.
Okay.
Called Bollycast.
Bollycast.
You're listening to Darted Drop House.
Okay.
And my name is
Matt Christmas.
I love to do rants.
Yes, my name is
Wilminiandar.
Will Menindar.
Menandar.
And I am the one who takes notes.
I am the one who has a notebook and says things.
And they just do their version.
So the Indian content is the Indian guy.
Yes.
It's like, what if his name was Sakdiki Gay?
Oh, Oh, I see.
You're just preparing.
Yeah.
Will you sell the right?
Does Bollywood buy the rice everything, or they just make that shit bootleg?
I think they do their own shit that usually.
But no, they make like versions of American movies.
Do they?
But with way more dancing and shit.
Yeah, they do jai hose and stuff.
Yeah, so we will do the same podcast, but instead of adreach, we do dancing.
And we'll play.
Oh, there's two more.
There's the can you hand stop the dyed snapple and have him try this?
It's too sweet, dude.
I would love to try it.
Pussy.
It's too sweet for me.
I love it, dude.
You know what I'm saying, Stav?
You just got to get into the diet zone, brother.
The diet
throws me off.
I do like it.
It's great.
It's been ruining my life.
But I will say, I like it, but I'm not even a regular lemon snapple guy.
So that's...
The actual flavor is holding me back way more than the diet.
Yeah.
But it's good.
Yeah, I'm a peach snapple guy, and I got a variety pack.
I got a Costco membership.
Respect.
How was your first trip?
Good.
No samples.
You know what?
It's funny.
That Costco,
it's hideous even for a Costco.
Stop's Costco's hidden hidden hidden.
My Costco's beautiful.
And they have a tire center and a gas center.
I went to the Astoria Costco.
The Astoria one's better than
Howard.
Dare you say,
the view.
Incredible of the city.
One of the best views of the city.
And it's wasted on that
view.
Bro, no joke.
I ride my fucking bike down there sometimes, get me a chicken bake, and sit on the bench.
Just look at the city.
There's a really nice museum by there.
My favorite.
The Naguchi Museum.
Shut up, bitch.
You have to tell everyone you need to go to museums.
No, go ahead.
What else do you have to say about the Naguchi Museum?
It's a really nice museum.
You should go there.
Yeah.
There you go.
Sorry, I don't support some Japanese guy who thinks it's funny to
be an N-word.
He's actually Japanese.
He's American.
He was born in America.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking racist of you actually.
He's some Japanese guy that's like, I'm going to make a museum about these people.
He's not Japanese.
He was born in America.
I can't stand them.
I'm going to make a museum about how botched they are
disrespectful to me.
These goddamn Naguchis.
Is that what it is, Adam?
Yes,
it's a Japanese man that came up with the Japanese way to say the N-word.
Yes, Nick.
Yes, that's exactly what it was.
It's a museum of that.
Yeah, a museum of that.
It's a museum for blazings.
For racist Japanese men.
I was laughing at the idea the other day about
being
some upper middle class
college professor that has an adopted Asian son.
Because they always adopt
some guy that weighs like 104 pounds.
Because they weigh too long to see.
It's just all Adam's Apple and Tiva.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But his Korean son is now a teenager and he's using the N-word at his dad.
It's like, you ain't my real daddy.
Sun, Moon, could you just calm down for a second?
Me and your mom love you.
You ain't mama daddy, and she ain't my mama.
Boob!
And I'm going to go out with my boob anytime I goddamn please.
You don't control me, boo.
You know, sticky white boobs.
Yeah, that would be awesome.
White bullshit.
No, those guys are always named Matthew or whatever.
No, no, but I feel like the professor would give him an ethnically appropriate name.
They would keep his, they would, they would keep it.
They're named Brian.
Use his Korean name at home.
Yeah, yeah.
In an even more offensive way.
At school, he's Matthew.
But at home, he's Sun Moon Gumdrop.
Whatever his dumb Korean name is.
Sun Moon Gumdrop is a great name, dude.
That's my name.
They call me Two Guns Gun Blop.
get it got it gap blop daddy
you ain't my real daddy boop dude i miss those those acura asian kids those like break dancing like devil locks you remember that like the kids in my school had those like two like long devil locks yeah we never got the devil locks yeah maybe it was the devil lock was in the middle definitely bleach tips yeah the devil lock was in the middle they would have like one that was on and they dressed like final fantasy which is weird if you play final fantasy 15 you're like who still looks like this and then we went to Japan.
I'm like, damn.
Yeah.
Just so sick at DDR.
Yeah.
Just crushing it.
Yeah.
I took a, in one of my classes, it was like a creative writing class.
And there was just like this quiet Korean girl who, and it was like creative nonfiction.
And you just like,
I was just turning in recipes.
Apple turret icon.
My story's called, my story's called chicken catch.
What the fuck are you talking about?
It's creative.
It's writing.
I wrote it and it's creative.
Look, look how I use double the butter that the other people usually use on Federal Cheek Alfredo.
To change the ingredients.
Damn.
I should have thought of that.
Yeah, Steve, why are all your essays laminated?
Dude, I was in a...
Oh, you were telling a story.
I was just talking about that Korean girl who she was like, just seemed like, like, quiet and nice.
And then it was like all the like her creative, her like personal essays were all about like just getting fucked up and like fucking in her church.
So sick.
She was a freak.
She would talk about like there were guys in the community that were like famous because they were cool.
And she couldn't really speak English.
It was like broken English.
It was awesome.
But it was horny.
It was horny and it was dang.
It was doing crimes and it was getting fucked up and it was cool.
Dude, I was in a creative writing class in college, and there was a gay guy.
You already said you were in it.
Another gay guy, different than me, got him.
And his whole aesthetic was like rich woman.
Like,
he would wear, like, he would, like, carry a Birkin bag to purse, to fucking purse.
White guy, black guy, and like an Hermes scarf, like, tied around his
white guy.
Yeah.
And one time he wrote this story called The Price of Fabulousness that, like, I kept and like showed all my friends because I was like, this is the craziest thing I've ever read.
And we had to like workshop it.
So like I was like, I had to workshop his story.
So I read it and it's like this mundane, like vapid, like shallow guy.
And then he put on his Gucci shoes and then he got in his Mercedes taxi cab, you know, like trying to put details in, like very bad writing.
And it's just like, where the fuck is this going?
This is so boring and like, and like shallow and stupid.
And then like in the middle of it, he's like, he gets a phone call and he's like,
he's like, hello?
And he's like, it's your doctor.
You have AIDS.
And then, and then it's like, I like that the doctor's just like,
he's not going to get AIDS tests regularly.
The doctor's like, oh, by the way, you got it.
He calls him, he's like, and then it just gets super psychedelic.
And then his soul splits in two.
And like, there's like one side of him that's angry.
There's the version of me that tells people I have anxiety, and then there's the version who doesn't.
And then you finish the story, and you're like, what the fuck is this, right?
But then you go back to the title, and it's called The Price of Fabulousness.
And if you think about it, what he's basically saying is the price of fabulousness is to get AIDS.
It's true.
Does he have AIDS?
I don't know if he had AIDS.
That's just such a funny mental image of
some guy dressed like Corella Deville turning in an essay about
do I or don't I?
Yeah, he was just like a rich, like, fucking idiot.
And then
yeah, that story rocked.
And then, like, I used to like start.
Was he hot?
No, he looked weird, dude.
He looked like he had, like, a pointy-ass face.
No, thank you.
Yeah, he wasn't my type.
Corella de Ville.
Corella de Ville.
But she doesn't suck you.
You're fucking.
Then you, then you can kill any woman you want.
You can kill whoever you want.
If Cruella won't fuck you.
Cruella sucks dick.
Cruella sucks dick.
She put a bunch of dogs in her pussy.
Yeah, what if Pongo fucked her?
Yeah.
Why didn't that happen?
Who's Pongo?
Pongo's the dad, Dalmatian?
Is he the Chinese dog?
No, Pongo's the dad.
Or is that a cat?
Pongo's the male father.
Oh, he's a human.
It's Pongo and like Louisa.
Whatever the fuck was that?
That man?
I don't know.
A man named Pongo?
No, Pongo is the dad Dalmatian of the 101 Dalmatians.
Oh, it's Roger.
Roger.
Roger's the man.
Pongo's the father.
Okay, okay, okay.
And then Pongo had that magic stick, and then she shit out 101 Dalmatian.
Anita is the woman.
It's Roger Mother.
And then Pongo is the male dog.
And I forget the bitch's name.
The woman?
No.
No, the bitch.
She's using it in an appropriate context, actually.
Oh.
The female dog.
I can't remember her name.
She was
sexy, though.
She was hot, dude.
And her pussy had just gotten torn up, and she was still looking good, dude.
But they're puppies.
So, you know, it's not really that much of a.
For a dog pussy, it is.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Yeah, that was kind of a very graphic thing to put in a children's movie.
Yeah, just like a show the pussy,
a POV shot of her pussy
from the from the veterinarian's view.
Women's pussies tear during
Snoopy ever get any pussy?
I don't think he does.
There should be like a girl version of him that's just him with a pink tie, a pink tie on his head.
Peppermint Patty.
Kind of like a Lesie kind of thing.
No, she's a lesbian, dude.
I know.
Peppermint Patty fucks her friend.
Her friend a lot of Lionel.
Her friend.
Her friend that subs for her.
That live action was so bad.
Which one?
I didn't even see it.
I just remember the trailer.
The peanuts?
No, the 101 Dalmatians.
They did one of those?
Yeah, in 1996.
Oh,
they were the first wave.
I heard that the new Lion King is a disaster.
It looks like shit, dude.
And it's a fucking video game cutscene looking.
Like, it doesn't make any sense.
Elders wants to see it.
He thinks it looks interesting I'm like what do you mean you dumb motherfucker
and and his girlfriend's like yeah it's like it's just like nostalgic for me I just want to see it but L just like no I don't care about that I'm interested in seeing a lion talk
so they instead of Roger just being a musician which he was in the animated one now he's a video game designer in 96 in the 96, yeah.
That doesn't make any sense.
Who is it, Stamos or someone?
No, it's Roger.
No, hold on.
I tell you who it is.
It's the guy who won with the pianist.
It's not Adrian Brody.
Oh, damn.
It's Jeff Daniels.
I said he's a musician in the first movie, and you assumed it was Adrian Brody because.
Because he was a musician in another movie.
It was a good guess.
No, it's because he looks like Roger in real life.
A different movie.
Roger has a big pointy nose.
The first one.
That That you know, that's the name of the movie, too.
Roger D.
Or Lee.
Doesn't Roger, the cartoon character, look like Adrian Brody?
Not really.
Yes, he does.
He's tall and skinny, but
I don't think it's a nose.
That's my dreamcasting.
That wasn't real.
That was me hoping.
Purdy is the name of the bitch.
Purdy.
Because that named after her, how you would describe her pussy.
Hey, that bitch, she got a purdy pussy.
Thank you.
I think I might name my dog that.
Anytime, bitch.
Why don't you slide up on this?
Purdy, that's an interesting name.
Yes, some homeless man in the park said she had a purdy pussy.
Okay, you know what?
He doesn't really look like him.
No, he's like a sweater vest.
From the signs.
He's a sweater vest type dude.
Yeah, I fucked up.
He looks like the guy sitting in the hotel room during the cucks scene.
No, he doesn't.
Yeah, he's like wearing like
slacks and a sweater vest.
Wait, hold on.
When he has dark hair, he looks like Adrian Bro.
Yeah, he's blonde.
But look at this picture well why why does he have why does he change his hair that's weird i don't know but he looks like adrian brody maybe that's fan art yeah he looks like some british retard yeah one of the ten thousand british retards in film fuck british people i'm done with them if you're if you're
listening right now and you're if you're ethnically british whatever that means take one of those big furry fucking hats those red motherfuckers wear and put them in your ass why don't you why don't you do me a favor go pick up a hammer from the hardware store and smash it against your face until the lights go out.
Jesus Christ.
Just do me that favor.
Do me a solid.
We had an exchange student from England.
Really?
From England?
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Hot Roger.
Hot Roger, dude.
Hot Roger.
Cock coming out of a speedo.
Why is his mouth on the side?
No, that's a pipe.
It's just every.
I love that website.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, everyone jacks off to everything, dude.
Yeah, yeah, which I respect.
Well, let's see, Corella.
I'm going to type in Corella.
Oh, of course.
There's Corella getting fucked by dogs.
There's Corella as a dominatrix.
There's Corella just taking a regular load.
Have you guys seen that one old lady with silver hair that has been doing pornography recently?
She keeps popping up.
What's her name?
The bitch from Boogie Knights?
No, no, no, no, no.
William H.
Macy's wife?
No.
You know that actress, that porn star?
My wife is getting fucked on the floor.
What's her name?
Yeah, I know.
She played Hillary.
Yeah,
she's like belongs to a temple in Vegas, and she's very active in the city.
My dad told me that.
Oh, dude, you know your dad tried to get sucked off on the sneaker.
I don't know if he met her, but he would try.
This is interesting.
It's Corella Devil as a female lion fucking scar who's also Captain Hook.
That rules.
I mean, it's just.
Okay, sure.
Corella and Captain Hook by the Pirate Queen on DeviantArt.
Shouts out to her.
Yeah, let's see her up.
Who is definitely trans, by the way.
Right, okay, here we go.
Here's Aladdin as a girl lion, fucking Hades from Hercules and Scar.
Look at this Muslim lion.
That should be your ass.
This is incredible, dude.
This is fucking incredible.
That's amazing.
So she's called the pirate queen.
Yeah, but then she only draws
him all as lions.
Sexualized lion.
Jasmine as a lion.
Jasmine looks fine.
Yeah, dude.
I'd fuck lion Jasmine.
I would fuck regular Jasmine so fast.
One of the great hopes of my life was to fuck a woman.
I would cause a fucking controversy in Agraba.
In what?
Oh, in Agraba.
I would cause a political.
There would be political turmoil.
Yeah.
It would be a state issue.
How publicly what's your name did
something?
How publicly you would fuck Jasmine?
Yes.
I can show you my.
But this one doesn't make any sense.
It's Woody from Toy Story Lion Eyes, but it's just Simba with a cowboy hat on.
That's a bad one.
They're not all going to be gems.
Maybe he's got the cowboy boot that says Andy on it.
Yeah, this Jafar one's pretty good.
We can respect that.
Jafar and Scar would have some good-ass gay lion sex, dude.
Let's see if there's any pictures of that.
Those two are soulmates, as far as I'm concerned.
And
they would flip-flop, too, by the way.
One's not an obvious top.
I think they're both verse.
There's Scar having gay sex with some unnamed,
unnamed one,
his partner that's not featured in the movie.
This girl has to be a real freak.
Like one of those people that doesn't, like, you're so autistic they can't even speak.
Yeah.
She's just like spending all day making her incredible lion sex scenes.
The problem with this one is, though, you don't see any lion, cock, or pussy.
Yeah.
They're PG-13,
which is a big issue for me deviant art-wise.
I need to see big titties.
I need to see little pussy.
I would love to render lion.
The women do all the work.
They have to go hunting and stuff.
Yeah, but if you get...
If someone fucks with your pride, you got to step up.
But most of the day, you just sleep.
But you don't step up.
You're not a step-up guy.
If I was a male lion, I would.
But hold on.
So you just wish you were a different human.
I'm saying I want to be a lion, not a human.
Yeah, but you want because of this.
I'm a step-up guy.
Rather than be a guy that pays for
but doesn't step up.
I've stepped up.
You'd like to be the opposite of what you are.
If I said this, I want to be a lion.
Why do I want to be a lion?
Number one, 400 pounds.
Number two, run 60 miles per hour.
I listed stats.
Number three, live in Africa.
I listed stats.
These are all things.
I said sleeps all day.
The women do the hunting.
These are things that you could instantly have.
Sleeping all day.
That's just not your personality.
It's not a personality.
You'd be like, oh, I wish I was a lion.
I would have self-respect and and I wouldn't let people walk all over me.
I have self-respect.
First of all, what I'm known for my self-respect.
What happens to a male lion that gets his shit fucked up by another man?
Does he get any pussy?
They cut his hair off.
Whoa.
Yeah.
He has to get a little haircut.
His hair gets chewed off.
He has to wear a pompadour instead of a cool man.
He has to wear makeup like a prison bitch.
For real, though, do they get pussy?
I'm curious.
Do lions get pussy?
You got to protect your bitch.
If you're not the alpha lion, do you get pussy?
Can you sneak some pussy if you're the beta lion?
I don't know, because when I saw those bears fucking, it seemed like the main guy fucking the bitch, and then the two other cucks just like jacking off of each other.
Well, you know what?
If you were a beta, the time to fuck another bitch is when the alpha's fucking.
Because he's not going to stop you while he's busting his nut.
So you got to real quick fuck his second favorite bitch
while he's in his first favorite bitch.
Yeah.
That's how you sneak some pussy.
That's how it should be, just in general.
You got to be on the lookout for when the man is having sex.
Waiting for the alpha to have sex with the main bitch.
And then you can sneak some side pussy the second bitch.
Or the third.
Whichever one you fancy.
I think that's because the thing is, I think that's how John
John, what's his name from Beautiful Mind came up with that?
John Nash.
Yeah, John Nash.
My favorite Nash.
Kevin Nash.
The Nash equilibrium, yeah.
Which they simplified in that movie by saying, if we all try to fuck the same bitch.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how they taught it to you in a beautiful mind.
What about a beautiful asshole?
But in real life, he was into some sus shit.
About a beautiful crime.
And he's a mathematician that can't stop raping.
I wouldn't call it behind.
Yeah, I wouldn't say beautiful.
There's the producers working on the movie.
I like the mental mental health angle, but we need it to be sexy.
A lot of people, when they think of rape, they think of the fantasies.
How sexy it is.
The fucking Trump accuser.
But now she's a producer.
When people talk about rape, they think about how sexy it is.
Anderson, everyone loves rape.
Anderson, would you rape me right now for a million dollars?
I love how he just cuts the commercial.
We're going to go to a commercial movie back then.
Well, I'll tell you what.
If you like sex.
Oh, yeah.
I love sex.
If you're one of those bail lions who can't get his dick hard while the alpha is fucking.
You'll like bluechew.com.
What a fucking dumb line.
If you like sex.
If you like sex, you'll go to bluechew.com.
Bullet points, make it your own and have fun.
Have fun.
Have fun
reading these.
Anyways, Blue Chew.com,
We don't even really need to advertise it because everyone listens to the show needs it.
That's right.
It's medicine that you need.
Listen, the thing about Bluetooth is if you listen and we said there's dick pills you can just buy, you've got them already.
Once I found out about these companies, I fucking ran to the computer and ordered them.
Who's on the fence about their dick working?
Get them, you fucking losers.
You should be begging us to tell you the website,
which is B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.
If you don't buy it, you're a piece of shit.
You're a fucking little ass.
You're a fucking dick doesn't work, and you're a loser.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Keep sitting there fucking soft cock.
Everyone knows that no dicks work.
You may think that your dick is hard, but actually, you're just having a fever dream.
You're deluding.
You're imagining it.
You're imagining it.
Your dick can't get hard unless you buy Blue Chew with the promo code come.
You go
to town or whatever.
Come town.
C-U-M-T-O-W-N.
This is the promo.
That's the only way your dick will for sure be hard.
It's a performance enhancement for the bedroom
or fucking outside.
For the park bench.
For the park bench.
Why don't you get some outdoor pussy?
Yeah, it's not only the homeless women out there that are lonely.
They say, sir, do you have a dollar?
I know, but I got something else.
Wait till sundown.
Cops aren't coming around this table.
That's right.
Cops will not come this night.
Because you know how you pick the sleep.
Anything less than a 182?
We're turning the volume down on the fucking, on the, on the, on the blotter.
Plus, here's the thing:
Car 57, we have a man sexually assaulting a homeless woman.
I'm on my lunch.
Here's the thing.
Blue chew.
Blue lives.
Blue.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's all connected.
All of the money goes to Blue Lives Matters.
The thin blue line is
your dick.
Everything.
This is your hard-ass dick on Blue Chew.
It's in the shape of the Punisher skull.
And when you take it, you go to Iraq to punish the locals.
It's like making you do war.
Precious war that you love.
It's now time to take out your anger on the locals because they killed your friend Billy, who also was also sodomizing them.
But back then it was just for fun.
And now it's personal.
At first, the rape was for fun.
Blow off some steam.
He retaliated against my friend, and now it's personal.
Now this rape has an edge.
Now I need to take Blue Chews.
Well, in Iraq.
The Iraq War, officially sponsored by Blue Chew.com.
The first chewable that can be taken on a full or empty stomach.
That's right.
That's absolutely correct.
And they can work faster than pills, up to twice as fast.
Online physician consult is free, so it's cheaper than the other two.
Because the other two, you have to pay to go see a doctor
Who makes you kiss his fingers?
Fuck that shit.
Kiss his fingers and suck his dick.
Yeah.
And he makes you show your dick.
I'm doing something for you.
Why don't you do something for your dad?
You want your dick to get hard, or why don't you get my dick hard?
Yeah, I don't.
Oh, you think hard.
And then he takes a pill in front of you, and then he's like, You think your dick isn't hard?
I'm a doctor.
Why don't you earn how could I be sure your dick doesn't get hard?
Look, pal.
I have to compare it to a hard dick.
You're the one that came to the Army medical tent here in fucking Fallujah.
We do business a little differently
back in the States.
You saw the Punisher pin on my lab coat.
You know, I'm a Punisher-style doctor.
Dr.
Chris Kai.
That's Dr.
Chris to you.
It only takes a few minutes to connect with a Blue Chew.com affiliated physician.
And if you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly.
You just need a couple of information, like your
Do we know how long it was going?
Yeah, yeah, because I had the headphones on.
Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
You got to tell them your name and your sign, and then that's it.
Well, that joke's kind of dead now.
Thanks a lot.
So what's that promo code?
The promo code is G-A-Y-N.
No, no, it isn't.
F.
Wait, what was it?
G.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
F-A-G-G-E-R.
N-I-G-G-O-T.
Nick!
What?
I didn't spell anything bad.
What did I say to you?
You're fake words.
You're made-up words.
It's not, I didn't say anything wrong.
You can't get mad at me for it.
I'm doing Punisher style spelling.
I'm teaching kids to spell Punisher style.
Blue Chew.com.
That is certainly Punisher style spelling.
Promo code is Come Town, C-U-M-T-O-W-N.
Just pay $5 for shipping.
Yep.
They're prescribed only by a doctor.
Confidence in bed every time.
You and your partner.
You're a dumb bitch.
Yep.
Will love it.
Yep.
Yeah.
And real quick, I'm just going to do one plug while we're doing plugs.
One.
Rochester next weekend on the 3rd.
I have more coming up later, but I need to get - that one's coming up on August 3rd.
Yeah.
More plugs coming later at the plug section of the show.
Also, if you like Cometown, you want to either listen to the premium episodes
on patreon.com slash Cometown.
There's if you only listen to these on iTunes or wherever
what app you use, there's a treasure trove of $150 or something.
Yeah.
I don't know, something like that.
I mean, pay $5 a month and you get all the bonus episodes.
But
now there's t-shirts
made by me.
Yep.
And not some dip shit in Ireland.
That's right.
Who, prior to this, had been the most successful, I think.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that cum collection.
Yeah, that guy's in Ireland?
Yeah, I talked to him once.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, fuck you, bitch.
Yeah.
Taking money out of our fucking mouth.
No, no, I've always encouraged him.
Yeah, well, now you're coming to me.
Now
I got my own thing.
You encourage it so that they get their hopes up.
But here's the thing.
You can get the shit from the source.
Instead of someone's interpretation of
what ideas I want out of it.
The Richard Gere Museum.
Yeah, no.
Now you get the mind that dreamt that up.
You're getting exactly what I pictured.
Sans, maybe a little bit of sometimes I overshoot the mark on what I think I can do
drawing-wise.
Right.
But come dot town, HTTP
forward slash forward slash c-um.to w n
and buy the shirts if only to give me something to do during the day.
Yeah, Nick's really been enjoying his
career.
Dude, I love this.
His printing press.
I live in a factory now.
That's right.
I fucking bell to bell.
7 a.m.
Wake up, start folding shirts.
Yeah.
That Chinese family you used to live with moved back in.
Yeah, I'm here until 3 a.m.
Every fucking night I stay up.
No bathroom breaks.
No bathroom breaks.
He's wearing a diaper, a very soiled diaper right now.
Yeah.
The shit is fucking hanging off his dick.
Yeah.
It's so yellow and brown.
Yeah.
From the outside, you can see.
I have my dick tied around the middle of the diaper.
The diaper's just hanging from me, and I'm shitting on the floor.
It's not doing anything.
The diaper's pulled down to my ankles with my dick tied to the middle.
But it's so full of shit, it's stretching his dick out.
Yeah.
That's what's happening.
And it's all available at Calm.town.
Woo!
Come Dot Town.
The number one place to buy merch made by a gay man named Nick Mullen.
Damn, dude.
Maybe this air conditioner is making me sick, dude.
Yeah, I think all that dyed snapple's giving me bad headaches or something.
Yeah, it's already hurt my stomach a little bit.
No.
it is.
I kind of took one sip, dude.
I know.
I've been drinking like four or five of them a day.
Yeah, the cake's good for you.
They're great.
Respects, bro.
Yeah.
But I mean, everything,
not a lot of things are good for you.
You know what I mean?
That's right.
It's pussy.
Check.
Science.
That's right.
Pussy, science, and broccoli, dude.
Pussy and science.
The number one law firm.
Science and
snap.
Pussy and science.
Pussy and Kirk.
Good afternoon.
You've reached law offices of pussy and science.
And if you're trying, if a bitch ain't trying to fuck, you can sue her ass.
It's the first law firm handling cases in which we will sue a bitch for not giving up the pussy.
Now, pussy, is that one of their names?
Yes, one of them is just named Pussy.
That's his whole name.
First and last.
He's like, Cher.
Lionel Pussy.
Lionel Pussy.
Yeah, and Reggie signs.
Oh, interesting.
They never did really explain how that guy in the Sopranos got the name Pussy.
I mean, Big Pussy.
It's a shortened version of his name.
Pustipher?
Yeah.
Bustifer from Cats.
You guys see that Cats trailer down outside?
Yeah.
No one's coming to the show tonight.
It's sold out, so.
All right.
That one guy's got to come to get his fucking t-shirt.
Oh, weird.
Yeah, I forgot to put him on the list.
I'll do it when I get there.
The guy you hook up with?
Nick's boyfriend.
Some guy left his fucking apartment number off one of the shirts.
Nick's got a grinder made up in there.
He's got a back undeliverable.
And
normally I just restock those, but he lives like around the corner from you.
Oh, interesting.
So I was figuring out maybe I'd just give the shirt to you and then just have to.
So he gets into the show for free.
He wouldn't do that.
Yeah, there would be a finder's fee.
Yeah, so he gets into the show for free.
Is that a huge deal?
No, he should give Sav and I $5 each.
I've never taken money from the show once, nor have I comped anyone.
No, no, no.
I was just kidding.
Anyone can get into the show for free.
Honestly, the entire audience can get into the show for free.
The tickets are free.
The tickets are free.
It's like, no, they're not.
Keep paying you fucking pieces of shit.
The tickets are P.
The tickets are P.
I wonder if that would do well well in Japan.
Little, like, remember airheads?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's like that kind of container, but it's just filled with piss.
Just out of a vent liquid?
It's just a little, like, like a vial of piss.
A little mustard packet of pea.
That, you know, with like...
Is it thick piss?
No, it's just regular piss, but like it's clear on one side and then yellow with like a little cartoon piss drop on it.
I think that would do really.
A drop of piss, and he's like, oh, yumi noke!
And you could just drink a little bit.
But it's got to be a hot girl's piss.
But it's a little sip of piss that you can drink.
There's got to be like a blushing schoolgirl also on it.
No, just has to come from a child.
A little, like, yeah, the little drop of a cute drop of
like a Daniel Tiger drop of piss.
Or, like, yeah, like the logo for World Industries.
Yes, one of those guys.
Yeah, one of the flame guy or the droopy guy.
Japanese, but yeah, just a little mustard packet of pee-pee for, you know, to pick up while you're over in Tokyo.
Yeah.
And you're going about your day in Shinjuku.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They have panties, right?
Man, I would fly back there.
Yeah, but they aren't really the best.
I would fly back there.
I bought a biscuit and it smelled fine a week of that fucking breakfast.
You love Japanese breakfast.
It was so goddamn good.
You get the raw egg, a little bit of pee-pee.
Mustard packet of pizza.
A little mustard packet of pizza.
Excuse me, can I get an extra packet of piz?
All the racist food you brought with you from America that doesn't exist there, that you had made, so you could be like, This is you.
Eating turret fries,
just menstrual fluid blood pudding.
My favorite, my favorite.
I went when I was there to eat Canari steak, and they just have those all over the place here.
Yeah, they're good.
That was so funny being on tour in Canada, where we were both like trying to do meal prep or whatever, and then it took two days before we were at Japanese barbecue,
causing a ruckus.
Yeah, that was some good shit.
It wasn't even two days.
We got Chinese food the first night.
Yeah, but we kept it kind of clean.
Yeah, we kept it.
I ate a whole duck.
Yeah.
Yeah, we had barbecue duck.
Yeah, but we had shrimp with broccoli.
Yeah, the broccoli.
So you messed the broccoli,
yeah.
And I ate a lot of those broccolies.
I don't know if I saw you eat a broccoli.
Motherfucker, don't.
Don't you dare.
I don't know about that, Saw.
You're about to see me eat your penis right now.
I would love that.
With a forking knife.
I would love that.
Not sexually, with a forking knife.
Meet the penis.
Suck the fuckers.
Meet the fuckers.
Little Fockers.
You ever see that movie?
Is that the third one?
I think, yeah, they have kids and they're called Little Fockers.
I have a penis, Greg.
Can you suck me?
You can suck anything with a penis.
I have a penis, Greg.
Shouts out, Bobby De Niro.
Yeah.
I have an asshole, Greg.
Can you lick me?
Can you fuck me and my ass?
You fucking me and my ass?
Are you fucking to me?
Are you fucking to me?
Are you sucking or fucking to me?
You sucking my dick.
Are you sucking my dick?
Are you sucking my dick?
Yeah, that's good stuff, man.
Yeah.
Man, I thought of a good good thing that had head in the name, but I forgot now.
But earlier, I was really giggling.
In the get-headed stay?
Head-on applied directly to my dick?
No.
Because today isn't just the 4th of July.
It's get headed
stay.
Yeah, that was it.
Yeah, that was probably what it was, right?
Welcome to Earth.
Suck my dick.
Keep me ahead.
Welcome to Give Dick.
Keep me ahead, I'm gay.
I'm gay.
Today is the day we get our dicks sucked.
We give the alien ship head.
What if we, but, uh,
Dad, what did you just say that you got head?
Yes, David, I said I got my dicks up earlier.
What if we gave the
mothership
we sucked its dick?
You mean to tell me that the answer is to suck the mothership's dick?
Precisely.
What's the answer in real time?
Oh, hell no!
Will Smith has to personally suck the dick?
Well, you have to do it for your family.
Baby, I love you, but I can't suck no alien's dick.
Well, we need, need, need, need, need, need you to do it.
Come on.
I remember back in the Holocaust, we would suck dick on the clock.
It was the only way to get fooled is we would have to suck.
I don't know if you were sucking the Holocaust.
David.
David, during the Holocaust, we
counted nothing but each other's cum.
For 40 years, now I've been drinking cum all the time.
Ask
your friend from work about it.
Oh my God, David, let me suck the aliens dick.
I'll do it.
So put me on the ship.
Hardly five
days.
Oh my God.
Get me on that ship.
I'll suck that dick right now.
That would be awesome.
He drains every alien.
I've told you the aliens took me in 1973 and they fucked me in my ass.
Our daddy wasn't a liar.
Our daddy was telling the truth the whole time.
That kid was Lucas Haas, one of the members of the pussy posse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, the one that got fucked by a guy.
The one that got fucked by guys.
Oh, hell no.
Hell no.
Welcome to Earth.
Get head into Dependence Day.
Not this.
Get in the head independence day.
How did they actually win in real life?
What did they do?
Or in the movie, I guess?
They hacked the ship.
They gave another ship a virus that propagated across all the other ships and their shields went down.
Wow, so they were using computers just like us?
Yeah, that's probably what we would do today, right?
We just hack them.
Wait, the answer is
we don't understand their technology.
What if the answer is to suddenly understand their technology fully?
What if we just so much much that we know how to fuck with them?
The answer is that we don't know anything about them, but now suddenly we know so much about them to the extent that we've exploited a flaw that's not even apparent to them in their own system.
Yeah, it's all dumbass symbols and shit.
They just hacked it like Russia, they just made fake Black Lives Matter's Facebook groups.
They just confused black alien supporter.
Me and my fellow,
I love those fake African, like the fake black Trump supporter guys.
Those are the best.
How about a shirt that says instead of Black Lives Matter, it's the same font and everything, but it says Blue Streak Matter.
Blue Streak.
It's a good movie.
Yeah.
It does matter also.
In the Martin Lawrence filmography.
Blue Streak: the intersection between the Black Lives Matter and the Blue Eyes.
I love that movie so much.
Is that what can bring peace?
I'm a federale.
Wow.
It turns out he was just.
It would be awesome to wear that shirt and just see people get mad and then be like,
just be so confused.
Blue Street Matters.
Because at the end of the day, you're talking about how much you like a Martin Lawrence
movie.
How about
the Family Matters font, but it says Family Lives Matter.
And then it's Urkel being shot to death by the police.
By Carl.
By Carl.
Just Carl doing a police brutality, but he's a black cop.
So
makes you think.
Nobody talks about that.
No one talks about all the black people that Carl Winslow killed.
Yeah, what about all the black people, the black cops are killed?
That's not a big deal.
It's like, no, it is.
It also is.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Steve.
Damn it.
Now I'm just thinking of Steve in a
God Fox masculine.
Go to hell, Steve.
Smiling while he murders Urkel because he's a little annoying.
Turning off his body camera.
Steve Urkel was no angel.
He was often doing dangerous science weapons, making his own improvised explosives.
Oh, yeah, he was gonna go to college.
Sure.
He's gonna stay in that basement and try to fuck Laura for the rest of his miserable life.
He was a sexual predator.
That's right.
He was horny.
Urkel was no angel, baby.
He was no angel.
Maybe that's a better way to think of Tamir Rice: what if he was just an annoying nerd?
No.
No, Nick.
Every day, Tamir was like, hi, Laura.
No, Nick.
Who's Laura?
He still doesn't deserve to die.
Bar is fucking Carl's dog.
No, no, in Tamir's case.
Oh.
That's the child, right, that was killed.
Didn't he have like a squirt gun in his head?
He was in a park
in Cleveland.
That doesn't rock.
What about that, Drew Carey?
Yeah.
What do you have to say about the murder?
I would not put that in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
No, I wouldn't.
No, ma'am.
Sucking a dick on Jeffrey Epstein's Island.
What's the Epstein minute, dude?
What's the catch-up?
Oh, I don't know.
I stopped caring.
Yeah, it seems like you're doing great, man.
Well, I mean, now it's like fucking.
Some guy got arrested.
Yeah, but people know, like, this is news now.
Now people are paying attention to it.
Yeah.
You're a hipster.
Well, not a hipster.
You're an Epstein hipster.
No,
you get mad about injustice or whatever, and then if, like, justice is being served.
But you think that he's not at the top.
There's shadowy figures.
Oh, no.
I mean, he's clearly like an intelligence asset of some kind.
But it's like, you know, it gets to
probably.
It gets to a point where it's like, well, I mean, what the fuck can you do about it?
Some guy that was like, he flipped on Trump's fucked kids.
Didn't that go out?
Wasn't that news?
Who Papadopoulos?
No, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, some guy that was a monster, man.
Some guy that was a witness in the Mueller investigation.
He had sex with a Chiron.
Mario Childron
have sex with Childron
that's right it that's right what is gambit always finish should I get a shipping label printer I probably should why not dude dude fucking Shopify is like it sucks because it's like the only
way to go with all this shit unless you make your own printing press they do no well no I mean I don't print my shirts through Shopify.
They just handle like the store and fulfillment and payments and stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
But, like, everything you need to do requires paying them more money.
Like, literally, everything.
It's like, how can I batch print fucking packing slips?
And they're like, simple.
For $15 a month, you can get the order, like, and everything has a dumb name where it's like,
make the page blue of high.
You know, change the font two sizes of Fi.
And it's $5 a month.
And it does a very simple fucking thing that should just be built into the interface, anyways.
Yeah, fuck Shopify.
Damn, we should make our own.
Yeah.
I mean, Shopify really is like, it's sort of a thing where I don't know why they do that.
Whether it's to dissuade people from setting up drop shipping services or not, because it's like you could just do drop shipping, you could put shirts up and do it in a way where it's like, maybe if someone orders this, I get some money, but it's not set up that way.
You know, it's like you have to pay for the basic service, which is is $30 a month.
And then if you want anything on top of that, it's fucking $80 a month.
I guess they just assume a lot of people are like, I'm going to start a store.
And they just do the 30 and forget it.
I feel like everyone's business model is like planet fitness, basically.
Yeah.
You'll just do it.
It's a small enough.
That's our business model.
Honestly, yeah.
I'm sure a bunch of people on Patreon forgot.
No, I mean, I'm like Lewis
in the sense that I would prefer to just do everything myself.
Like, I would rather pay somebody, I mean, myself to the extent that I'm not, like, paying a monthly fee to another service.
But you hit snags in the process where it's like you can't, like, dealing with payment processors, it's just much easier to just deal with something like Shopify.
Yeah, I call them gayment processors.
Yeah, and if you do that, they'll fucking like take away your income.
Like,
it's companies that, like, are on board with the idea of deplatforming people.
And it's like,
I don't know, yeah, that shit sucks.
Yeah, yeah, damn.
Well, I'm going to have some very stiff words for them off-mic,
just in case they're listening.
Do I have something stiff for you?
No, you don't.
Actually, it's, I can't do it anymore.
Have you used Blue Chew, Adam?
Do you like it?
I have used it once, and it was amazing.
I feel like maybe it was like a placebo.
No, it was not.
But I was pissing, not hard, and my dick looked fabulous.
Yep.
Not even hard.
Just like a UFL hex.
Oh, no, it definitely gives it a little extra
capillaries are all expanded.
It's just all like soft.
It looked great.
Honestly,
the only way I know it's working is because I can't breathe through my nose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get a little headache, can't breathe through your nose.
Yeah, and then that's when it's really working.
That's when your dick is really thriving.
Because everything's expanded.
You see spots.
Yep.
You stand up too fast.
You get, you know, all woozy.
Classic moves.
You get vertigo.
Yeah.
Classic moves.
Regular shit.
Well, folks, we got to go do the show.
We'll list the show.
I got to stop it.
Hold on.
We got to get some fucking.
Oh, yeah.
Go see my boy Adam.
Funny moms every Monday, except for the first Monday of the month.
Fat Tuesdays, every freaking Tuesday at the stands.
Next Funny Moms is the 29th.
I'll be in
the 29th, right?
Yeah.
I'll be in LA on the 29th of August.
There are tickets up on my Instagram and Twitter bio and pinned, tweet, whatever.
But see me at the lodge room.
That same day, I'll be in Seattle, the 29th.
Friend of the show, Jamel, will be opening up for me.
Everyone loves Jamel Johnson.
Good guy.
He opened for me at the lodge room also.
I think
he's our go-to.
What else?
What other plugs?
See me, Rochester on the 3rd, like I said.
See me in Boston on the 16th and 17th.
Oakland on the 24th.
First show already sold out.
Buy tickets to the late show.
We just added that shit.
And I'll fuck around and do a third show, baby.
So keep buying them, bitches.
And then Seattle and Portland on the 29th and 30th.
Got some more dates coming after in September.
I'm going on a little vacay, going to Greece, hee-hee.
And after that, I'm going to back on the road.
I might go to Greece with you.
Please, dude.
Please come.
I might have like a sisterhood of the traveling pants type.
That would be nice.
European journey.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Get some pussy out there, dude, in my home country.
Mona Lisa.
You can fuck my female cousin who's, I think, 38 and has a child.
She looks good.
Mona Lisa.
She looks like you?
She looks good.
She looks just like me with a high ponytail.
That sounds good.
With an Ariana Grande ponytail.
You said she had hair.
You had me at the hair.
Eat, praise, suck.
I'm going to have an eat prey suck under the Tuscan.
Under the Tuscan cuckoo.
Under the Tuscan cum.
Yeah, cum.
That was the one.
Under a layer of Tuscan cum.
Under the tug and suck.
Under the tug and suck.
We're going on a vacation underneath a rubbin' tug.
That's all I could afford.
One bitch who just got broken up with.
My pussy's not too old, but it actually was.
Lucky for her, Italians are so horny, they'll fuck anything.
Yeah.
Your pussy is is so disgusting, but I cannot stop eating it.
Slurping up her lips like linguine.
Kathy Bates is the big, nasty pussy bitch.
All right, folks.
See ya.
