Ep. 60 – The Letter Boys

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The Electronics, the Consumer Electronics Review podcast.

And today we are reviewing the TP-Link 16-port easy, smart,

semi-managed switch.

It's a gigabit switch.

What the fuck is that?

It's his box.

Oh, shit.

Can you hand me that box so I can read stuff off the front of it?

Yeah, sure.

That's how you review electronics.

You just say all the thing.

What kind of shit do you plug in there?

Everything.

It's got, it's QoS.

I think that stands for quality of service, as indicated by these three arrows here.

That's also the Antifa logo.

Quiet.

VLAN, virtual

mobile area network.

IGMP snooping.

No idea what that fucking one is.

Vagina licking.

That one's going beyond me.

Vagina licking all night.

Steel housing.

I think that literally just means it's made out of steel.

The box.

And green tech, which means that this one uses less gasoline than 90% of

carbon.

pumps.

Tech does that.

They're like, all of our technology is green.

It's like, yeah, by chance, that's how it fucking works.

Electricity.

If everything in computers ran on oil, you wouldn't be fucking green at all.

It's a matter of convenience.

But also, don't we just get electricity from oil and coal and shit?

How do we get that channel?

Yeah, sometimes.

I mean, but that's up to whoever's running the power grid.

That's not tech doing that.

True.

You know, in fact.

What the fuck is that thing?

What do you plug in there?

So my setup is the modem goes to a router.

Ooh.

And then the router goes to the switch.

The switch, everything that's like can be plugged in, like anything that doesn't move in your house should be plugged in over Ethernet to the network.

You shouldn't use Wi-Fi for everything.

Because

we had just the fucking router that came with Optimum.

Yeah, yeah.

And I ran into problems immediately because people don't realize how much shit is on wireless now.

Right.

And people over in my apartment all the time.

It slows the shit up.

Everyone's fucking.

You can't watch a damn movie.

Everyone's got their phones out.

Yeah, like, you know, everybody's phone, everybody's iPad, everybody's fucking laptop, the TV itself, like the whatever your media player is.

You know, the fucking light bulbs are on the Wi-Fi.

Yeah,

you have light bulb Wi-Fi.

Smart wire.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on.

Computers.

Turn the lights on.

So you got all that shit.

You should plug everything in.

But, you know, you only have even whatever router you have.

I mean, I have an airport extreme that only has like three spots on it for.

I was looking at one of those.

I'm thinking about getting a a new comp dude you should come over and let's get a nice fucking I'll set your shit up that'd be awesome well what I do I have the I use I use a EdgeRouter light as the router itself

that's that thing clinking down there okay so that handles handing out IP addresses to everything on the network motherfuckers got routers on routers but then the the the airport that's not routing anything anymore that's just a wireless access point okay and then there's another one I got can't you save shit on there too you can it's got time machine on it nice and then there's another airport express at the back of the apartment to blanket the whole apartment and Wi-Fi.

Ooh, so no.

Yeah.

Motherfuckers get that good colour.

Yeah, the Wi-Fi is always working.

Damn.

None of this shit's bogged down with routing.

That's all done through that router.

And the Switch distributes the Ethernet connection between I recently and the entertainment center.

Because the Wi-Fi was kind of shitty in my apartment sometimes.

I recently switched to unlimited data and I beat off with

data and I felt like a king, dude.

Yeah, you're not like wasting.

Dude, just fucking LTE sign.

Shit's fast.

And it's like,

not to beat off on Wi-Fi feels fucking decadent, dude.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Have you ever beat off on data?

Yeah, plenty.

When the Wi-Fi's not working.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, this shit's good now.

I had to upgrade to this.

I had an 8-port switch, but I had to get the 16-port because

I wanted to plug that Blu-ray player in, and I was already maxed out on ports.

Fuck yeah, dude.

This rocks, dude.

Yeah.

How many?

What's the most ports you think?

You can peek that shit.

Go look at the wall behind the TV.

What are they

looking back there?

I'm about to look right now.

Damn, my man's got a whole call center shit up here.

Yeah.

This shit looks like there's fucking like a fucking computer's from the 90s.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, it's a fucking mess back there.

Yeah, it looks bad.

Yeah.

But it's a lot of wires, it's power.

Yeah, that's so that's the review ultimately.

A lot of wires.

Yep.

Fucking power.

Powerful.

It looks like the TP length 16-port 16-port gigabit, easy smart switch.

Totally tax write-offable if you want to.

What do you rate it?

We're going to go 3.5 out of 4 stars for this.

I'm going to say 3.

Here's just some of its features.

Deutsch, 16, 10, 100, 1000.

It speaks German.

Yeah.

Turkey, 16, 100.

Fuck that shit.

Italiano, 16 porte.

RJ15.

Francaise, Franchase.

Francais.

Franchase, is that how you pronounce it?

Francais.

16 ports, RJ5.

Jem pussy.

Espaniol.

Polski.

Portuguese.

Jemme tu ite pussi.

Sestina.

What the fuck is that?

What the fuck is that?

Sestina?

Let me see.

Sestina?

What the fuck language is that?

Maybe Russian?

No, Russian is Russian.

It says quite clearly Russian.

Let me see.

Maybe it's Greek.

No, it's not using the Cyrillic alphabet.

Gorgeous.

What the fuck, dude?

Yeah, Greek uses like

Cyrillic and shit.

They have their own alphabet.

The The Greek alphabet.

No, yeah, Greek alphabet, dude.

Cyrillic.

What is that shit?

Fucking moron.

Isn't that what the Greeks use?

No.

The Greek alphabet, dude.

Alpha, Vita, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, yota, kappa, lambda, mi, nik, si, omegron, piro, sigma, taf.

You don't know your own alphabet?

Shut up.

You speak Greek and you fucking.

Shut the fuck up, you don't know.

Taff.

First of all, it's not impressive.

You're a Greek person.

Yeah, it's impressive.

Imagine like going up to day laborers and you hear them speaking Spanish and you're you're like, wow.

Shut up, dude.

Taff, Omega.

It ends in Omega.

Omega.

Yeah, everybody knows that.

Taf Ypsilon.

No, fuck.

I don't know.

Here it is.

Ready?

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo,

Foxtrot, Golf, Tango, India, Hotel,

H.

No, H.

I.

India, India,

H-I-J,

Juliet,

H-I-J-K.

Kilo.

Okay, Kilo.

J-K-what is it?

J-K-K-L-K-J-K-L.

Yeah, L is Lima.

M.

M is Mike.

N.

N is.

We know what N is.

Yeah.

This is the one that's going to be a very good idea.

Wait, is this military or police?

No, this is the NATO alphabet.

I'm surprised that I know this.

Well, dude, if you're...

Dude, see, you're making fun of me for not knowing Greek, but dude, you're a fucking...

You're a friend.

I'm a tier one operator.

You're a fucking tier one operator.

This is the barrels of letters.

No, what the fuck is N?

Is it Nova?

It's funny that N and it messes me up.

Is it Nova?

I don't think it's Nova.

Nova Scotia.

N.

Fuck it.

Skip it.

O is Oscar.

P is Papa.

Papa?

Yeah.

That's fun.

I know that.

From Call of Duty.

They say Papa Bravo, which I think means like area.

That's like a square.

Papa is a cute one, dude.

Yeah.

Do they have Mama?

Is M mama?

No.

M is Mike.

Oh, fuck that.

N-O-P.

Q is queer.

Is it from?

that one?

LGBT.

The LGBT alphabet.

L is lesbian.

Wait, there's no way.

The LGBT NATO alphabet.

Trans.

Questioning.

Yeah, Q is.

Questioning.

Is it questioning or queer?

It's queer and questioning now.

Oh.

So it should be your Q.

I don't know what Q is in the NATO alphabet.

Keep it moving, dude.

It's got to be Quava.

It's got to be.

Yeah, it's offset.

It's got to be

quiet or quava.

Is that queen?

Maybe queen.

Yeah, maybe.

Okay, keep moving.

Q.

R is Roger.

Roger.

Classic.

Classic.

Roger that.

I got to sold you that.

Fuck.

I guess I don't.

If you get the second half of the alphabet, I don't know.

It's never come up.

See?

It's not that easy, is it?

Yeah, but I don't, you know,

not Greek.

Fuck, I would always fuck that shit up, dude.

And I was good at Greek school.

Dude, I was the number one student six years.

First to sixth grade.

And then this fucking bitch came.

She moved.

She started in America, moved to Greece for four years, comes back, goes to Greek school.

That shit's not fair.

I still, it was a tie.

I beat her.

I cried in the principal's office.

Alpha Bravo, Charlie,

yeah, I did.

Fuck it.

I just feel.

I feel like if I ramp up, if I get some momentum,

you're done, dude.

What's S?

Fuck.

T Succadigliani.

T is

tango.

Tango.

Yeah.

U is

umbrella.

Under.

I think it's umbrella.

Umbrella?

Okay, that's pretty mouthful.

That's a mouthful.

Yeah.

That's three souls.

Wait, no, I think you might be like Eureka.

It's like fucked up.

It's not actually you.

Okay.

Eureka?

Maybe?

I don't know.

Now I can't.

Fuck.

We can't look it up.

V is for Vendetta.

V for Vendetta.

You remember that because of the movie?

Of course.

T-U-V-X.

Silophone.

Now I'm having trouble remembering the regular album.

Sea bitch.

C-bitch.

W is.

Wonga.

No, it's not Wonga.

Wonga.

Wale.

It's named after a horrible rapper.

Yeah.

Fuck Wale.

Dude, Wale sucks.

Although,

No Hands.

No Hands.

Single Love Hate a couple years ago.

Which one?

His verse on No Hands is okay.

Lotus Flower Bomb, that one?

No, Love Hate.

It was a single from like two or three years ago.

The one about, is it bad that I never had sex or whatever?

Yeah.

That's the one.

This is about a girl who fucks a lot but doesn't make love.

Yeah.

She's a whore.

It's Wale's slut-shaming song, dude.

All right.

I'm going to look him up now.

No, you can't look him up.

No, you can.

I already lost.

Fuck it.

Now

we're going to go.

X is X-ray.

X-ray.

That's cool.

That one's obvious.

Z.

Z is Zulu.

Zulu.

Yeah.

What's Y?

That's how you know that we got some dangerous Zulus.

Is that also N?

Yeah, well, that's when you can't remember N, so you use Z.

NATO alphabet.

Okay, Adam, do the Hebrew one.

Olivebeck, gimmel, dolled, hey, Vob, Zion, chet, tet, yud, cuff, tough.

Lafayette.

No, I want to see if you can do it.

Let's see which one is.

No, you just know.

You just call him.

Shinsin, cuff, tough.

You can't just clear your throat and pretend that's letters.

That's just how all the letters sound.

All right, ready?

Alpha Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf Hotel, India.

Golf Hotel, nice.

Yeah, I got it.

Golf Hotel.

Juliet.

Hey, that's where our fucking president is.

Ah!

That fucking fat cocksucker.

Kilo, Lima, Mike, November.

I was going to say November.

I thought it was November.

Oscar, Papa, Quebec.

Quebec.

R is Romeo, not Roger.

Romeo.

S is Sierra.

T is Tango.

U is uniform, not Eureka.

V is Victor.

W is whiskey.

You should have known that.

Whiskey is Yango.

Whiskey, Tango, Fox Translation.

Oh, yeah, Whiskey, Tango, Fox Ray.

X-ray, Yankee, Zulu.

Yankee.

Yeah.

I was stuck on Sigma Taph Ypsilon Phi He Phi Heap C.

I should have remembered.

That's the funnest part.

Phi Heap C Omega.

Yeah.

Now here's a fun one.

To do the British one.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Let's do this.

This is fun.

The Royal Navy RAF

radio spelling alphabet.

All right, how many alphabets?

Let's do a full hour of alphabets.

This has so far been our funniest podcast today.

We read a box of a router that Nick just bought.

Well, that's the no, that's the electronic segment.

That's the electronic segment.

This is the Alpha Tax segment of the podcast.

Aren't we going to do?

There's another

thing that we do every week.

All right.

So

I have the answers.

You guess the Royal Air Force Alphabet.

Okay.

Now there's two versions.

This is the 1921 to 1942, and then there's the 1942 to 1956.

Okay.

So you have to call your shots.

Okay, all right.

All right.

So A.

All right.

I'm going to go 24, the first one, Yeah.

And I'm going to go Arab.

No.

A is.

They didn't have Arabs back then.

Oh, you're Ottomans.

True.

I guess they had Arabs.

They didn't have their revolt yet.

Yeah, yeah.

No, wait, they just had it.

No, you didn't.

What were Arabs up there?

Arab Revolt was in 1916?

There were plenty of revolts.

Yeah.

But the one against the Ottoman Empire.

Yeah, yeah, that was during World War II.

Yeah.

Good, I'm glad.

Fuck the Ottomans.

Yeah, yeah, Lawrence of Arabia, dude.

Who was

Lord Byron?

He was was gay.

He was LGBT.

He was really gay.

Was Lord Byron gay?

Yeah.

Yeah,

everybody who was poetry is gay.

He helped out.

He helped us out somehow.

I think he wrote a really awesome poem about how cool Greece is.

That's cool, dude.

And England was like, all right,

Greece, I'm going to fucking help you guys out.

I'm going to write a really awesome poem.

I thought he was a pretty lord.

He literally is.

He wrote the most awesome poem the other day.

I think that is what happened to him.

A in the British

Alfred.

Alfred.

There's two versions.

Alfred.

I was going to say Albert.

Nope, you're both wrong.

Come on, man.

Come on.

We're not going to guess.

It's going to be any letters.

Alfred.

Bartholomew.

You got a lot of shit to guess here.

We're only on A, dude.

This is going to take the entire population.

B is buggery or bugger.

Bugger.

It's not.

You're wrong.

Fuck.

Bugger or Bollock?

Q is queen of Adams.

Apple is A.

Oh, God.

That was easy.

Yeah, we could fuck that one up.

Apples is fun.

Guess what B is?

Boys.

It's Bapple.

All right, C is Capital.

D is Dapple.

E is England.

What are slurs?

What are old English slurs?

Q is definitely queen.

P is pip.

Pip.

Like from great expectations.

Cheer it.

That's cool.

Pip, hip, suck dick.

Hip, hip, I'm gay.

Hip hip, I'm gay.

Three cheers.

Three queers for

Sir Roger.

Hip hip, I'm gay.

Hip hip, hip, he's gay.

Hip Hip bip, he's gay.

That's fun.

Yeah, so I guess I reviewed that.

What else do you need to review?

What else?

I already reviewed Independence Day, so you can write that one off.

Should we review the lunch we're gonna have after this podcast, preemptively?

Oh no, you don't have to review that shit.

People need to eat.

That's the beauty of

business lunches.

You take a couple of notes down about what you did, you know, like the things you discussed.

Because of the content of the podcast, I can say, what if we called Roger Moore gay?

Let's write that on a piece of paper.

Meanwhile, we're eating fucking $200 steaks.

Dude,

Jess who pays for that.

Yeah, Johnny Tax Dollar.

That's right, baby.

To Roger.

Joe the Plumber.

That's who gets stiffed with the fucking boots.

Is Rogering a British sex thing?

No.

Yeah.

You know it is.

What is it?

You know it is.

What is it?

It means fucking.

It's like snogging or shagging.

Snogging's funny.

But snog, I thought, means kissing.

No, you snog a, like you snog.

You snog my dick.

That's pretty fun.

Yeah, you snog a Caribbean.

Snog is

Brixton.

You go down to Brixton and snog yourself a

right-fit bird.

Yeah, right.

Oh, to pull is also to kiss.

To pull?

Yeah.

Oh, pull my dick, Adam.

No, but that's

pull my dick.

Okay.

Like a fucking library.

Like a library card.

Go to the big dick section of the library and pull it.

I need to learn the.

Don't do it.

Whatever you're about to say, don't do it.

Oh, you're gonna say Dewey Decimal System.

Dewey Decimal System.

I thought you were gonna say the Dewey Decimal System.

I thought you were gonna say I need to learn about the words.

Well, that's where you organize the books by how expensive they are.

How thorough the instructions are on taking over the media.

Yeah, what was the Dewey Decimal System?

What the fuck was that about?

I got yelled at at the library recently for doing that thing with your hands where you snap and like you do the snapshot clap thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, that thing.

I was walking around the library doing that without thinking about it.

And the librarian was like, sir, sir, sir, get out.

Homeless people are trying to beat off in here.

Yeah, there was a homeless guy screaming.

It was great.

I was sitting there reading, and he was screaming, but I couldn't see him because he was like behind a couple of shelves.

And then I heard one of the librarians go over there and they're like, sir, you cannot smoke in here.

It's like, fuck you.

That fucking rocks.

I was in the.

He's fucking, it's a cigarette in the library, dude.

Yeah, dude.

Like, it's 1923.

That's all libraries are.

They're just homeless shelters.

I know.

I was in a C-train that got stuck under the East River.

No, you weren't.

Here comes a fake story that didn't happen.

Yeah, what happened, dude?

Did some fucking mermaids?

This guy lit up a cigarette.

We were down there for like 15 minutes.

He's like, oh, fuck it.

You just lit up a cigarette.

Did you stop him?

No, this like white bitch was like, excuse me, sir.

And he was like, you can go fuck yourself, lady.

That rocks.

It's pretty cool.

It's so funny how Nick Nalty became a celebrity.

He's like a bum that they just put him on.

He used to be sexy, didn't he?

Didn't he win Sexiest Man Alive?

Yeah, but he's like, he's got a homeless vibes.

He literally is just like a bum that they put out.

Now, but when he was hot, dude, he was like, even when he was young, even like 48 Hours era, Nick Nalty.

He was gruff.

I don't have a bust dress.

He is one of the most iconic mugshots of all time.

He was gruff, dude.

Ladies love a nice gruff boy.

Yeah.

I mean, Busey, I mean, they're the same guy, basically.

Oh, damn.

He looks bad now.

Nulty?

Yeah.

But young Nick Nulty, he could catch a nice fat.

You know what's a great movie?

The Cape Fear remake.

With Nick.

Yeah, it's really good.

Counselor.

Ooh, dude.

It's really good other than fucking De Niro's terrible southern accent.

Yeah.

Have you ever been held down and molested by four white men?

Oh, shit.

I just found a picture.

I just found a picture of Nick Nulty in a wrestling outfit

basketball or some shit.

He's wearing a singlet.

And the number?

69.

Hell yeah.

Pretty cool.

Cool.

I used to work with a Peruvian guy named Nick Nolte.

Really?

Really?

He wrote his name down one time.

I'm like, that's very funny.

And he's like, what?

And I was like,

what's your real last name?

Because his name was Nick.

He's like, it's Nolty.

And I'm like, your name is Nick Nolte?

And he he showed me his ID.

For sure, his name was Nick Nolty.

Just a Peruvian guy that had that name.

He was also a pathological liar, though.

So you believed him on that?

Well, he had a government issue.

He showed me his ID.

He probably lied his way into it.

Well, you need a fortune.

What would a bizarre thing to risk jail time so you can tell people your name is Nick Nolte?

I believe it.

Yeah, that guy would lie about everything.

He said he had all these kids.

He also said his mom was dead, but it's like, I think his mom really was dead.

That's the thing with pathological liars is they do have like one or two things that are true, right?

Right, right.

And so you're like, you know, they're like, yeah, dude, we went to like, you mean one or two like fucked up things that are true, yeah, yeah.

Of course, there's some facts, yeah.

No, they let me go into the vault, and then I did the Scrooge McDuck thing when I was jumping in the coins at the bank, and also my mom has breast cancer, and you're like, both of those things are a lie, and everyone's like, you fucking asshole.

That's his mom right there, they're cutting her titty out right behind you with a

Scrooge McDuck room.

I'm like, I'm so sorry, George.

You know, you said that thing about meeting the actual Ronald McDonald at one time.

We all knew you were lying.

And so I just told the chip on my shoulder about it.

I didn't mean to insinuate that your mom wasn't a terminal character from the TV show DuckTales.

Sucktails, suck my dick.

Oozy.

What is it?

The Fatal Farm DuckTales video?

No.

What happens?

Oh, my God.

Fucktails.

It's so funny.

What?

I'm pulling that shit up.

You guys keep talking for a second.

DuckTales was a spin-off of

what do you call it?

The ducks in these cartoon universes always confuse me.

What was the word?

Scrooge McDuck.

And that's Donald's.

I think he's his uncle.

Yeah, his Scottish uncle.

He's miserly.

He's Jewish, Scottish uncle.

And the three guys, the three guys, he's Huey, Fucky, and Sucky.

Yeah, are

Donald's sons?

I guess so.

Yeah, yeah.

And where's Donald?

He's just getting sucked off by other Ducks.

Donald was a deadbeat.

Where's Daisy?

He left him.

Isn't Daisy in the picture?

Well, listen, sometimes.

Did Daisy die?

What is this?

This is the Fatal Farm DuckTales video.

Okay.

Let me turn the one.

Should I put my mic to the speaker?

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

let's all put our mics to the speaker.

Nice.

What the fuck is this?

Fuck.

No, dude, no.

The dog's gonna rape her.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit, dude.

This is fucked up, dude.

Oh, fuck.

Jesus Christ.

Holy fucking shit.

Holy shit.

Who made that?

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Fatal Farm?

Wait, they're just like a YouTube comedy?

They're like Wham City, but better.

They're like a Ben O'Brien, but like a funnier comedy.

Oh, don't fucking fit.

No, no, no.

Go shoot on.

I'm Big Bill.

I'm busting our fucking balls.

Those are our boys.

No, this and the

RoboCops.

Adam's never stealing these bits.

Oh, they are better than Wham City.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, they're Robocop shit.

The RoboCop shit is my favorite piece of media of all time.

I was crying the first time I saw that.

I played that at my funeral on a loop, dude.

I just want that RoboCop shooting those guys' dicks off.

Yeah.

That, okay, there we go.

That's what we were going to do every week.

It's a cometown cultural

today's culture, Spanish people.

I don't like them.

Next review.

Nah, dude, we got to get our listeners cultured, dude, and that's why we're recommending a video where RoboCop shoots a thousand fake dicks off.

Well, you guys should also, because now there's going to be like a weird minute-long gap of DuckTales and DuckTales rewind and find go sync up the podcast with the Fatal Farm DuckTales video.

What was the other show, Tailspin?

Tailspin with Baloo.

With Baloo as a pilot.

Wait, and then there was Darkwing Duck.

Oh, no, that's Daffy.

Daffy's.

Is that Daffy?

No, Darkwing Duck is his own character.

But that was in the WB universe, not a Daffy Williams.

I don't know, but it's not Daffy Duck.

It's Darkwing Duck.

It's a completely different.

Wasn't I think

Daffy's Bruce Wayne and Dark Wing is Battle Wayne?

Darkwing Duck is.

There is a crossover between DuckTales and Darkwing Duck.

Oh, there is.

Crossover is Launchpad, is in both, I think.

Launchpad is the retarded guy that's like a pilot

that's fringed with both Darkwing Duck and, I think, the DuckTales guys.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Okay.

So Darkwings in the Disney universe.

Darkwings Disney, not WB?

There's also Mega Duck, which sounds hilarious.

Yeah.

Which is Darkwing's Nemesis.

Ooh.

He's like

a pallet spirit.

Oh, shit.

Darkwing duck.

Oh, yes, yes.

Everyone had that in the 90s.

Everyone's nemesis was just Dark Winter.

Yeah, Darkwing Duck was Disney.

It wasn't Daffy.

I remember

I loved Darkwing Duck when I was a kid.

I was like five.

So Darkwing was a white duck?

I thought he was black.

No, he's white.

Oh.

Yeah, his sidekick, his sidekick,

was say Sidecock was Launchpad McQuack.

Launchpad McQuack.

From DuckTail.

From DuckTail.

Is he Scottish, too?

I think so.

Yeah, he's a Scottish retard.

He's a Scottish retard.

His secret identity was Drake Mallard.

Oh, Drake.

He's Drake.

Which was a parody of Kent Allard, The Alter Ego of the Shadow.

Oh, what the fuck?

Oh, you ever see that movie?

The Alec Baldwin movie, The Shadow?

No, is he a superhero?

It was like part of that run in the 90s where they were trying to make superhero movies happen.

Because I guarantee you, if they made The Shadow now, it would be like, you know, Eric Banna, and it would be very serious.

No, The shadow wasn't a comic.

It was a radio show.

No, the radio show.

I used to listen to it.

No, it was also a comic.

No, it's recently been made into a comic.

As of what, like 25, 30 years ago?

No, in the last five years.

It was made into a graphic novel.

Did you

think it was a comic before that?

No, the shadow was a radio.

It was a fucking comic.

It was a radio show.

It was just a radio show.

If it was a radio play, you don't think when all of media was comics, they tried to make it a comic?

Well, I don't think it was.

Because the only reason I bring this up is because my friend is a copyright lawyer and he was actually having to go through the shadow graphic novel

and make sure that I don't know they weren't like breaching contract or something.

So was that movie good?

There was also the prints, The Living Shadow, 1931 print.

So there goes your fucking...

Maybe I'm wrong.

Yeah, I guess I'm wrong.

Stupid asshole.

What was it, Jeff?

Print.

What does that mean, print?

It doesn't mean it's a comic.

It's probably some pulpit.

It's a Pulp series.

So that's whatever, it's not a comic.

That counts.

That doesn't count as a comic.

That counts.

No.

It was in print.

Okay, here you go.

Here's the comic.

Walter Gibson and Vernon Green's The Shadow, August 12th, 1940.

Yeah, that's in the last 25 years, it sounds like.

Which is not what you said, by the way.

That's what Nick said to make fun of you.

You said in the last five years.

Well, I know that they just came out with a graphic novel in the last, like, two, three years.

I heard they just made Batman a couple years ago.

Do you guys read that comic?

Yeah, it actually started with Batman Begins.

Well, yeah, it's the first one.

Yeah.

Batman Begins.

He says doing the Jew alphabet.

Yeah, let's bring that back.

Demach him for that for no reason.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Piece of shit.

Have you guys ever heard the new comic I just found out about?

It's called Superman.

I can do the German alphabet.

Do it.

No one cares.

No, do it.

How about why don't you do

both sides?

Name everyone on the list.

Okay.

Why don't you do the fucking

alphabet, dude?

Arthur the Aardvark.

That's the first one.

AA.

Exactly.

Always the first.

I think you should do the sign language alphabet, bitch, for the rest of the podcast.

Yeah.

For eternity.

There's this one.

Whoa.

There's this one.

Which is A, B,

A, B, C,

D.

No, those are not it.

E, you know, it is.

Really?

Yeah, E.

E is this.

This is F.

Now, this is even worse somehow

than how we started the show.

Yeah, G is the first thing.

You're both doing visual.

This is good to the.

No, I think it's good, dude.

That's hilarious that we found a way to be worse than saying three alphabets is to do sign language.

People are learning shit, dude.

That's right.

Rub your hand against the mic.

Yeah.

This podcast is for people to listen to Dan Carlin's hardcore history, and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm going to learn something today on my way to the vitamin shop to buy a bunch of whey protein.

That's right.

And then they're there, and Dan Carlin's like, now, everyone knows what the Byzantine Empire is, so I'm not going to explain that.

And then they go like, well, I fucking don't.

So KSOLed.

And they turn that podcast off.

And you turn on this one, and they're like, all right, well, the base entry knowledge you need for this one is knowing what the alphabet is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you learn something on time.

Knowing most of the alphabet.

Knowing most of the alphabet.

And it's sort of like

a way to ease your way into being an intellectual.

Yeah, right.

That reads the New Yorker and says the Jewish alphabet and doesn't know when the shadows are.

He reads the New Yorker, but claims he never did read the New Yorker.

No, I had two subscriptions.

I had the cancer because I used to waste the time.

Another one that the Chinese girl he's trying to impress.

She's like, oh, did my New Yorker come to your apartment somehow?

Li Pang?

She's like, please get thee out of here.

I never did.

The government will find out our address, and our family will be deported.

Deported.

It was the Byzantine Empire.

That was the worst part about living in Chinatown, is when Adam would come over and try to woo the family I was living with.

Trying to fuck the whole family.

Yeah, I got pretty close.

Grandma to an 11-year-old boy, the whole thing.

The grandfather and I got pretty close.

I was kids.

They shared a kimono.

Yeah, it was good.

They had a T, and then they both put on the same kimono front to back.

And then he taught me how to roundhouse kick.

Yeah.

You can't roundhouse kick, bitch.

Yes, I can.

No way.

I have no fault.

I'll show you after the show.

I roundhouse kick much more powerfully than you.

I know how to roadhouse kick and roundhouse kick.

I want to watch it.

First rule of being a bouncer.

Be nice.

I haven't watched Roadhouse in a...

Let's watch it.

I haven't watched it.

It's hilarious.

You've never seen Roadhouse?

No.

Oh, it's a must-watch.

I don't know if I would have the patience for it.

I mean, I've seen Roadhouse so many fucking times that it's like.

I'll watch it on my own.

I'll buy it.

That'll be the next week's movie review.

Yeah, yeah.

You should do it on your own.

I'm really into this just still of Pierce Brosnan.

He's a cute bitch, dude.

Yeah.

He used to look fucked up.

No, when?

Prior to Remington Steele, he had his teeth in the center of the game.

Isn't that a girl?

Yeah, he had a button.

Isn't that a black guy that had fucked up teeth any of you?

No, that's Lexington Steele.

Yeah, that's Lexington Steel.

Lexington Steel.

Remington Steel has got a British guy that fucks black guys.

Oh, nice.

Do you ever watch that porn side TV show?

This is the premise of Remington Steel.

Is there's a woman that owns like a detective agency, but no one would believe that a woman's good at the job.

So she has to get a British guy to pretend to be her boss.

That's incredible.

I love television, dude.

It's so funny to just watch culture from like seven years ago.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How fucking.

A trans person?

Set them on fire.

Well,

they'd be calling them he's or something.

Yeah, yeah.

Remember He She?

Yeah, I still say it.

Oh, actually, I was watching Scrubs, and they were just throwing tranny around left and right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, people forget that it was literally two years ago when they were like, you can't say tranny.

Yeah.

And it's still kind of like...

Yeah, I don't really understand how that's a slur, but I guess if you're going to fucking beat that drum over and over again, I won't say it anymore.

If it hurts people,

it would be like if the acceptable term

for black people

was like N-I-G-G-E-L.

Okay.

And then they're like,

Yeah, don't say the other one.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

Because it's so close to trans.

Right, right, right, right.

You know?

Yes.

I think it'd be E-Y.

Yeah, E-Y, yeah.

Damn.

Just, I said that in my head and it was funny sounding.

Yeah.

I mean,

the way

a cute racist calls funny.

Yeah.

Like Elmer Fudd.

Beware, very quiet.

You know.

In the movie, Feeder.

Oh, fuck.

What was Elmer Fudd's life like when he wasn't hunting?

Like, I feel like no one in the town took him seriously because of his speech impediment.

I don't know.

Posting shit about Obama on Facebook.

He's not a Mowakan.

He's a dirty Muzwab.

He's a Muswam.

I can't wait to finish the Goilla mindset.

He is just Cernovich.

Yammerfud is definitely a Mawwa.

That is Cernovich, dude.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been wet-pilled.

Very, very quiet.

I'm correcting our movie.

I'm a very, very proud boy.

Yelmerbud's definitely a proud boy.

There is an Antifa.

Bugs is Antifa.

Yeah, Bugs is definitely fucking listening to Against Me.

Dressing up like a ninja.

Oh, fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah, he was trans.

Bugs was trans when he was

cross-dressing.

This is a

cost-altener.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

You're talking a lot of Carb Tark DuckTales.

Bugs Bunny.

Tails Bin.

Who's also just Darkwing Duck, according to Adam?

Yeah.

Wasn't that just.

Roger Rabbit, what is that?

Like, Bugs Bunny?

That's not a comic.

Yeah.

Isn't that like, isn't that the same as Bug?

What do you mean, Roger Rabbit is in a comic?

Hot is a real rabbit.

Hot take, guys.

Can you guys...

You think that's what?

An actual man is.

Can you respect what I'm about to say?

No.

I think Nala from Lion King.

I would.

You would fuck Nala?

I would.

I would fuck Nala.

Is that why you paint your dog's nails and have sex with her?

I didn't paint my dog's nails.

Yes, you did.

And my dog is a dog, not a lion.

Yeah, but you pinch her nips.

I don't pinch her nips.

You know, I rub her belly toss.

She's seen nipples on him.

You do what I would fuck?

Yago from Aladdin.

Just because you want to hear him squawk while you fuck him?

That'd be hilarious.

You just get a real tight grip on him, put him right over your dick, and then

slam him down.

Yago.

Call me a whore.

Yeah.

Like you're like you're forcefully pushing up a Flintstones pup

on a countertop.

That's how you fuck a Yaga.

Damn, Flintstones pops.

Those were the shit.

Those were the shit on the shop.

They were.

That was the best shit on the ice cream truck.

Are they still around?

Yeah.

You know what's funny is there's an ice cream truck that drives by every day, and

I could just go be getting ice cream.

You could.

And I don't think they'd do it.

You could stay fat, dude.

What do you guys think is the best ice cream song out of the three?

There's three.

Jack and the Muncha.

No, no, no, no, no.

Pop Goes the Weasels.

Pop Goes the Weasels is not the best.

Pop Goes the Weasel because the Weasel goes pop.

Hello is the best one.

Oh, yeah.

Dana.

Just like my dick.

Yeah.

And I like when that happens.

Hello?

Hello?

I'm gay.

I'm gay.

Yeah.

I love that one.

Yeah, obviously the Mr.

Softy.

It sounds like hello.

You know what?

All the music should be the music that the Mexican guy in the bodega listens to.

Dude, that is.

No, he listens to the music.

He listens to the shittiest music.

Mexican rap.

He was listening to this Mexican rap song where the background was like a Casio version of the Godfather theme.

Yes.

So it's like blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blue, bling, blah.

A guy being like, yo quiero uno, yo quiero dos, yo quiero taco, yo quiero tres.

I went one, I want two, I want taco, I want three.

That was a song.

That's a good-ass song.

I like the message.

I was gonna say, me and George were getting.

I remember I was in a taco or no, I was getting Peruvian chicken, and they were playing a fucking John Legend song in Spanish.

And I tried to fucking

sing a John Legend song, and I tried to Shazam it, and it just doesn't exist.

Like, I don't know.

I'll never find that recording.

It was just the guy on the DJ.

John legend.

I think in Texas,

they had all these radio stations that were just

what the fuck is that?

Texas

Tejano.

Yeah, Tejano music.

We just played Tejano music, which is like it's it's like polka.

Yeah, it's polka because it's all Texas all German.

Like ranchero.

There's like a lot of Germans in Mexico.

It's like bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump.

It'll bump.

It'll bump like that.

But I was listening to it one time.

I love that.

And then it just switches to like bump bum bum bomb bomb bumps.

This is the Flintstones song.

It's the middle of the song.

Breakie Keeky!

Yeah, do you have a De Flintstones?

I want to fuck winning.

It sways me, but do you have a video of De Flintstones?

Man, help.

Fuck.

Can't believe.

We've talked about the Flintstones movie and how Rosie was Wilma.

Yeah.

That shit's fucked up, dude.

I thought you said you used to have a crush on her.

No, I fucking wanted to.

I was a fan of hers, Cody.

Oh, then you got sad that she was gay.

And I was sad she was gay.

She was lovely.

Yeah, I prayed for her.

But

Halle Berry was hot as shit in that movie, though, I guess.

So I guess it evens out.

What are you talking about?

Swordfish?

Swordfish.

She's a man in fucking Flintstones.

Was she in this?

Yeah, she was the secretary.

I don't remember.

She was being a fucking sex pot.

There was like a four years stretch where Halle Berry was the hottest woman in the world.

She's still up there, bro.

I haven't seen her in a long ass time.

Which Flintstones movie were you talking about?

The first one?

Eva Ross Hagans?

Yeah.

Wasn't she Barnes?

He's a sexual temptress.

Rick Moranes.

Rick Moranis.

That's right.

Another Adam Freeland doppelganger right there.

You wish, bitch.

Dude, I did.

His wife died, and he was like, well, I'm done with movies.

Yeah, and he just went and bitched.

It was a good father and shit.

Yeah.

Like a bitch.

What a retard.

Yeah.

Yeah, it didn't.

I mean, seriously.

Didn't Steve Gutenberg also retire?

You should have put your kids up for adoption.

Absolutely.

Made Ghostbuster.

Sold them.

He's Goots.

Retired.

I know.

I think Goots' career just slowed down, dude.

Dude, Goots was a

stud.

Star.

Yeah,

he was really funny in.

What was the catering show that was funny as shit?

Party Down?

Party Down.

He had an episode of Party Down.

He was funny as shit in it.

Goots?

I loved Party Down.

Shout out to Lucy Kaplan.

She's hot as shit.

Yeah, she is.

What show was she in?

True Blood where her titties are out?

Yeah, when they did the V, it was like Ecstasy for Vampires.

What?

Yeah.

Was that what they did?

Yeah, they do that.

That fat guy I used to follow on YouTube that was reviewing Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

And he was like, you know, they should really have a different writing for the movies because when it says R for nudity, I don't expect to see a man's penis.

He's literally a straw man that Jezebel created.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

RP or RV?

They fucking blogged him into existence.

This is pre-Jezebel.

This is like 10 years ago.

This guy was great.

He was this morbidly obese guy that was obsessed with Taylor Swift before anyone knew who Taylor Swift was.

This was back when she was.

She was like a 14-year-old country.

She was like a country.

Which was country, you know, like not making pop music.

He was obsessed with her.

And his whole thing was like, I speak out against child abuse on the internet.

Nice.

Which is like so meaningless.

Yeah.

And also, he wants to fuck a 40-year-old.

He can go online and say, don't abuse children.

You know, but he had his phone number posted on his YouTube page.

So any of my friends used to get drunk and call him up all all the time.

And

I was trashed one night, and I called him up, and I was like, Jeffrey, I got all the coded messages in your video.

I'm a pedophile, just like you.

Wink, wink.

You want to chat about all the boys we fuck?

You know?

And he's like, I do not fuck boys.

And he'd like to scream.

I'm like, Jeff, come on, man.

You're dropping hints left and right.

I can even smell each other.

For whatever reason, he wouldn't hang up, you know?

And then one time he made a video, and I can't find it anymore.

I mean, this was like 10 years ago,

where he was like,

Damn, it was funny.

And I called the FBI.

He's like, this guy called me and told me he was a pedophile.

And I called the FBI and they wouldn't do anything about it.

He's like, they said, you know, okay, sir, why did this guy call you?

And I said, because I speak out against child abuse on the internet.

And they said, do you post your number online?

I said, yes.

They're like, do you think maybe this is somebody just playing a prank on you?

And I said, no, I don't.

You don't understand how this guy sounded.

And I've never been so satisfied where it's like, to see the fruits of my labor

just delivered to me in a video format.

That's beautiful, dude.

I know.

That is so.

It was kind of like a, you know,

it was such a perfect moment.

I'm so

happy.

I'm happy for you, dude.

Yeah.

That's like...

I'm just sitting in my computer eating checks, mix.

Like, yes.

That video is what a child is for most people, for you.

Not only explaining that he called the FBI, but they told him he was being

made monopoly.

The FBI was like, you're getting trolled, you fat retard.

Was that tweet during the presidential election where someone called the Baltimore Police Department because he heard they were playing a song called

Multiple Calls to the Police Department.

They hung up on me.

Yeah, they hung up on me.

It's like, I heard a song that said, kill the police, fuck Trump, or something.

And he's like, yeah, the Baltimore Police Department hung up on him.

Well, the Baltimore Police Department is also horrible.

That's one one of those social experiment guys.

Like, it's a nice mix of just, like, fucking racist guys who live in Harford County and, like, people getting their training in Baltimore and then just transferring to Baltimore County.

Remember, Timmy.

You're saying that the Baltimore Police Department is bad because, in my opinion, they're good police.

He's a good police.

He's a good police.

That's like the

weirdest thing about the wire is how they use the word police.

Police, yeah.

I guess that's what they're doing.

He's a good police.

As a plural noun,

like a singular noun.

I guess that's what they did.

Yeah, he's a police.

He's a police.

It's a really, you know, it's a really good episode: is the one where McNulty's doing that sting on the whorehouse.

And he does a fake British accent,

but he's really a British guy in real life.

So he's playing an American trying to do a British accent.

It's really satisfying.

Well,

he can barely do an American accent.

It gets better throughout the show.

He sounds weird.

It gets better.

In the fifth season, when he tries to do a Baltimore accent, it's horrible.

Yeah, he sounds like

a jockey from the Bronx.

Yeah, he sounds really bad.

And that season's kind of weird where he makes up a guy who bites people or some shit.

Oh, yeah, he makes up a series of.

Season 5 is retarded.

There's some good shit in there, but yeah.

Season 5 isn't that good.

But.

Well, dude, the ending is awesome.

I'm a low-key season 2 fan.

Yeah, dude.

Which is like,

people don't like season 2.

Season 2, a lot of that was shit.

People don't like season 2.

People say season 2.

2 through 4 everyone likes.

No, out of those 3, 2 is the one that people will shit on.

Yeah, people will.

I was saying, they aired The Wire on B.E.T.

Yeah, and they got rid of all the stuff.

They got rid of all the doc stuff.

And just like, so the one time was 14 minutes long.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because they didn't want any of the white people stuff.

Someone told me Frank Sabaka was like 32 years old when he was filming that.

That guy just looks like shit.

He just looks old as shit.

You go, how big was that guy's dick?

Ziggy.

Ziggy's dick.

Was that a real one?

It's probably a prosthetic.

He had a nice fucking feeling.

I didn't remember that.

He took out his picket one scene.

Yeah.

I think, yeah, it's weird.

Yeah.

I don't remember that.

I guess that's because I only watch B.E.T.

Yeah.

As a woke man.

You only watched a Super Bowl.

I only watched BET and McDonald's commercials during Black History Month.

That's the only form of media I consume.

The best part of that episode that you're talking about, though, when he's doing the fake accent, is that during the sting, McNulty just fucks two whores.

Yeah, like it in Italy, yeah.

And he's like, what?

He just shrugs off, having sex with prostitutes.

What a guy, dude.

But he loves the rules.

Another episode of the music.

Do you remember that McDonald's commercial, the Black History Month McDonald's commercial, where it's the two black guys deciding what they want to eat, but they communicate by beatboxing with each other?

Oh, my God.

Fucking rocks.

Oh, who the fuck is making those?

I love it.

I love it.

Whose mother?

Who's 65-year-old white suburban mother?

Corporate wokeness is the best.

Dude, I fucking...

The Kylie Jenner Pepsi ad is the greatest advertisement.

Well, that was our idea.

That was the Comeboy's.

But it wasn't Kylie.

It was Kendall.

Same shit.

How dare you?

There's a Kylie, right?

Kylie, yeah.

Kylie's the one that got plastic surgery.

Well, Kylie was Bruce and then became Kylie.

Yeah, no, no.

Hey, Kylie.

Still is Bruce.

I still call it him.

Skylar Kylie.

No, Kylie's not a shit, dude.

Because she just got plastic surgery to look

like Kim, basically.

To look like Kim.

There's like a trashy hotness to her.

I follow her on Instagram.

Shouts out, Kylie.

Kendall's the one that looks like just model-y.

I remember the Kardashian show at the beginning.

Like, my sister used to watch on E.

And it was just about three girls that weren't even that famous that worked at a store together.

Yeah, that's how it started.

Yeah, and then they got so fucking famous.

Kim was just like Paris Hilton's friend.

Yeah.

And they were like, yeah, they started some shit.

Remember that show, The Simple Life?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nicole Ritchie.

Yeah.

Is she the one that died?

No, Brittany Murphy died.

They're like, we're going to go hang out with trash and see how trash people live.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're like, oh my God, you actually have to stick your hand in the cow's pussy.

No, not really, but

that's what the producer.

The producer said this would be a good scene.

Remember when that's what being hot was?

Was just like being fucking skinny and blonde and like

no ass?

Yeah, it's like, oh, what a beautiful time we were living in.

Yeah.

The era of fat asses.

Yeah, it's fat asses or

it's been that way.

At least,

no.

At least for Lutheranism.

I don't mean in general.

I mean, like, I don't feel like I've been ever swayed by the.

No, I never thought Paris Hilton was hot.

Huh?

I never thought Paris Hilton was hot.

No, but society did.

I'm with you, dude.

Oh, sure, yeah.

I jacked off to her movie, her sex tape.

Yeah, I have watched it, sure.

When I was like, you know, I beat off to it.

When I was 18 or whatever.

Actually, I watched it with Brandon, and I have a picture of him on Twitter

looking at it.

So everyone go retweet that picture.

And maybe it'll like.

It's really old and it'll probably embarrass Brandon.

Maybe I'll retweet it.

I hope Brandon gets embarrassed.

I love when he gets embarrassed.

Just to picture him watching the Paris Hilton porno in like four years.

No, she's fucked up.

I'm a celebrity.

That's what he'll say in response.

Without any sense of shred of irony.

No, none of it.

I'm a celebrity now.

That was not a great pornography.

Neither was the Jim K one.

bring back.

You can barely see your titties.

They should bring back the apprentice, but put Brandon, they should make Brandon the Donald Trump character.

Okay.

Oh, so it's the meme apprentice?

He's the new Donald Trump character.

I guarantee you Brandon would do it, and then people would start comparing Brandon to Trump, and then eventually we can turn him into a complete monster.

We can turn him into

the president.

Yeah, I don't give a shit.

People will hate him.

That's all I want.

Let him be president.

Let him live on a fucking mansion on the moon.

As long as people don't like him, I'm happy.

Okay.

Look, money can't buy happiness.

Only spite can.

Yeah.

Dude, two episodes ago, you said it could.

What?

Money could buy happiness?

Yeah, you literally did say that because of your 5.1 Dolby surrounding.

I'm spending of money.

Okay, okay, okay.

But the wheel must keep turning.

And TP-Link, Easy Smart, 16-port switches must be purchased.

And this pays.

You're going to be a yacht guy by 35.

I fucking hope so.

Dude, I'm trying to get out on the bay and let's listen listen to some fucking yacht rock, dude.

Hell yeah.

Crisscross, baby.

Let's eat oysters.

Let's eat crabs.

A full day of getting high and eating crabs and shit.

I can't get it.

What we're basically going to do is we're going to use the cometown money to buy a big-ass boat, and everyone who's a premium subscriber is invited to wave goodbye to us on the dock

as we set sail for greener pastures.

But you have to bring in the precious Atlantis.

Yes,

legal and encouraged to fuck other men.

What?

But But only because you have to.

Wait, we don't have to.

International waters.

We could bring a girl of life without.

Actually, some girls should come, I think.

So we'll bring some girls

via beheading and sex change operations.

Wayne White.

Wait, we're going to kill them and make the men.

Can they keep their titties?

The titty meat will be used to create dicks.

I'm sorry.

No,

dude, that makes me so upset.

The idea of titty meat turning into a dick.

That fucking offends me the way, like, religious people feel about gay people.

I'm going to start slipping acid into your, like, your meals

and then say shit like that to you while you're peeking.

That would make me so mad.

If I was on acid right now and you said, we're turning every titty into a dick,

I would fucking fight you, dude.

That used to be like a...

I would fucking choke slam you through this window.

That was a 4chan thing.

It's shitting dick nipples.

It's like a Chinese, it's like a

hentai woman, and she's got dicks instead of nipples, and then shit is coming out of the dicks.

Whoa, cool.

That's the thing people would jack off to.

Really?

Yeah.

That I am not into.

Shitting dick nipples.

No thanks.

I did not spend much time with Fortune.

I did not, I don't, I still don't have a great understanding of the internet, and I didn't understand it at all.

Fortune always, memes kind of always annoyed me because they weren't funny.

They were like inherently not funny.

Was that before or after something awful?

Different things.

Yeah, it was concurrent.

What's something awful?

That was like a

place where people used to post.

Yeah.

Something awful is like

where all the Twitter humor came from.

It's all people from like Fiat or whatever.

All the shit Brandon steals now.

Fiat?

What the fuck is that?

Fuck You and Die.

It was like a sub-form on Something Awful.

But the Something Awful forums cost $10 to use.

Oh, shit.

So it was never on there.

It costs $10 like a year or a month or what?

No, it's a one-time thing, I think.

Oh, okay.

I used to just use the internet for normal shit, like

Suicide Girls and

Mike in Brazil free previews.

Oh, dude.

The Mike, Mike in Brazil, Mike's apartment.

Was that in Brazil?

No, that Mike.

Mike's in Brazil.

Mike used to have an apartment, and when you couldn't pay rent,

guess how he had to pay?

And he had a lot of beautiful women that rented out rooms.

I wonder what happened to Mike in Brazil.

I wonder if he's down there in the favelas running a gang or something.

He probably has some kind of horrible STD because he was raw dogging a lot of Brazilian, like, probably sex workers.

Yeah, apparently down in South America,

like,

there's like a ton of transsexual women because homosexuality is

looked down upon so much.

I feel like if homosexuality is looked down upon, they're not going to be cool with trans.

No, no, because

in basically every country where Islam is a thing, if you're gay, they just force you to get sex changed.

It's actually just one specific country, but I can't remember which one, so it's there force all of them.

It's

all of them.

Isn't it in like Southeast Asia or something?

If a little boy's like, I'm a girl, they'll let them grow up as a girl.

What's my favorite YouTube videos?

My favorite YouTube videos are the ones where it's like a parent and they're like rushing to get the camera on.

They're like,

what did you say about that toy?

Say it again.

And it's a little girl like, why can't girl gir uh the girls play with boy toys?

And they're like, that's right.

Why is that forward to buzz fee?

Yeah.

May I have a million dollars for this video?

She's reading off a little cue card.

Right.

Just a gun to her head.

But I like princesses.

No, no, no, no, Monka.

Stop right now.

Play with that ball.

Do you know how many grumpy cats I went through before I could have a daughter to exploit?

Yeah, what's gonna happen?

There's a lot of little kids that are funny, these toddlers that are actually funny, and they're like making good videos, but it's like this is fun.

They're getting exploited by their parents.

What's gonna happen to them when they're adults and they see these like embarrassing videos and then what's gonna be great is when the sparkling wiggles girl gets fired from her job because that video resurfaces.

Who is that?

So that video from a couple of years ago, but before like, you know, all the woke shit started of this like four-year-old girl with the speech impediment.

Yeah.

And their parents are like, Say sparkling wiggles.

And when she does, it sounds like fucking N-words.

But she's just

hilarious.

It's very funny.

It's a little girl's girlfriend.

Say there's

an idea.

Say there's too many sparkling wiggles at the party.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Her parents are truly racist in that one.

Like, it's one thing to just be like, but then they start going, like, tell all the sparkling wiggles to get off welfare.

You know, it's like,

too many specific scenarios.

But that's going to find people are going to be like, you're not going to believe what Stephanie Meyerson said when she was three years old.

It's time to throw this bitch in jail.

Dude, I can't wait.

That is very.

I actually am interested in that.

How old do you think she is now?

I mean, that was a while ago.

She's probably like 13 now.

That was probably 10 years ago.

Nice, dude.

What were your first favorite early internet videos?

Oh, Star Wars Kid.

Star Wars Kid was the funniest fucking shit.

The Leprechauns.

I mean, The Leprechauns is the best thing.

Yeah, The Leprechaun's good.

The story around Star Wars kid is hilarious.

It's this fat kid who goes in the AV room.

Is that the NUMA kid?

Yeah, yeah.

They make fun of it.

I'm not on the rest of the development kid.

It's this kid that he makes.

Shut the fuck up.

I'll tell the story.

God damn it.

I'm sorry.

I'm literally explaining it.

And you go, it's the win.

I'm sorry, Skip.

Sorry, boss.

God damn it.

Sorry, Captain.

No, he's mud flap.

Sorry, mud flap.

You're mud flap.

No, I'm

candy lips.

I think Doodoo's a cute nigga.

You're Gilligan.

I appreciate it.

I'm skipped.

I'm just happy to be part of the lipstick.

You're shit Gilligan, actually.

All right, just tell Star Wars kids.

Yeah, I'm shit Gilligan.

This kid goes in the A-B room at his school, and he fucking, he's his fat loser.

Kind of like someone we.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who?

I forgot his name.

Shit Mud Lips.

No.

Candy Lips.

Shit Mud Lips.

And shit Gilligan.

No, shit Mud Flips.

Candy Lips.

If anyone's Candy Lips, it's me.

I'm Candy Lips.

I have the beautiful shit Gilligan.

Look, once and for all.

You're mud flat.

I'm all the good

flat.

You got into the fucking bad one.

You're the bad.

You're one of the bad ones.

You got an okay one.

You have a horrible one, Adam.

And I have a good one.

Guys, can we stop arguing what matters?

I have a funny one.

What matters is that.

If we're in my apartment and we're in my apartment, I'm the good one.

You go to your apartment, you can be the good one, but you're not.

No, I'm the good one.

I'm not ever.

I'm the good one.

You're my fucking gay-ass friend.

You used to do that when we were like five.

You lived across the street.

It's my house.

And when we would walk from our house to his house or whatever, while we were like near his house he was allowed to walk in front and show dominance oh my god but when we crossed the threshold because everything was a competition hilarious so when we crossed the threshold and got to the other side of the street it's like now i get to walk in front yeah because it's worth it is a reaction to my

how much dumbass tribal shit is just in little kids heads innately yeah of course your mind that's why i love all that like messaging about like children don't see color children aren't racist even like the fucking oh children don't know what gender is it's like children will find any reason reason to exclude another child.

Including like their name rhymes with literally anything.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Like Adam's name, Gilligan, shit, Gilligan.

Yeah, shit, Gilligan, Adam.

Anyhow,

this fat kid, speaking of exclusion,

it was like right when like Star Wars Episode 1 came out, and he went in the A V room at his school and he filmed himself with this like

broomstick

doing like lightsab lightsaber stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And some bullies broke into his locker and got the tape, and then like digitally converted it.

That guy taught some mean-ass bullies some very valuable tech skills.

Right, yeah.

Computer, enhance, zoom, humiliate.

Those guys went on to film school.

Yeah.

Yeah, they made the Blair Witch Project.

Was that Maryland?

The Fat Dick Project.

No, it's Canada.

Oh, Blair Witch Project.

Blair Witch Project was Maryland.

Yeah, there's a lot of prizes.

There's Burkettsville.

Where was it?

Burkettsville, Maryland.

There's a lot of weird vills.

Yeah.

Mechanicsville.

It's the only two I know, actually.

Yeah.

Burtonville.

Burtonville.

There's Burtonville and Burkettsville.

Nice.

Two different vills.

My favorite town is.

Is there Merkinville that make fake pussy hair?

Yeah, there's that.

My favorite town is Boring, Maryland.

That's a real town.

That's a real town.

Yeah.

There's Rising Sun, which is racist as shit.

I drove through Boring on the way to Westminster to do some bullshit fucking

what's that called?

The Stables, Dave Schofer?

Chauffer, yeah.

The Stables.

No, it was like

two doors down or two cellars.

Yes, I've done that room.

Actually, did we go together?

No, maybe.

We did once, actually.

I did that room a couple times.

Yeah, I did.

Great room, dude.

Huh?

Awful people, but great room.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I've never heard people like,

you go into that bar, and it's like you go into like an old West saloon where bullets are flying everywhere, but instead of bullets, it's like racial slurs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember I did it with Timmy Hall, and I was, I did alright.

Yeah, I was there that night.

Yeah, I did a guestie on that one.

Yeah, yeah, and I did fine.

And then Timmy, just like, just by saying the N-word, like, they were the kind of racist white people that just, like, oh, someone's saying the N-word, and we can show approval by laughing hard.

Dude, you know, it's funny.

I was there, some fucking hick tried to buy my shoes.

I know what you're saying, though.

Huh?

Some hick tried to buy my shoes, and I was there.

Yeah.

That's how, that's

what the kind of people are.

They literally don't get get those shoes.

I like them shoes.

Yeah.

How much do you want for them?

She's going to buy my shoes.

Yeah.

How am I getting home?

Yeah.

Well, most of us are barefoot.

Yeah, yeah.

I got shoes on.

You looking down on me?

Fucking piece of shit.

Oh, man.

Davey Shofs.

We never talked about him, dude.

Yeah, no, we have.

We've definitely talked about it.

But what we were saying...

Oh.

Boring Marilyn.

What was your first favorite early video?

I don't know.

I don't really know, honestly.

I legit did not get the internet till late as hell.

Do you remember the weatherman that was just...

I didn't know it at the time what Coke was, but he was just fucking yipped up.

Do you remember Frank McDonald?

The mentally disabled weatherman from Canada.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Atancheon, Suda Sands of California.

A tanchon.

Is he still around?

Yeah, I think so.

My favorite video of his was.

Oh, the rap battle, Eli?

The

community college TV show where they have a rap battle and they didn't like that.

That made me sad.

I'm going to fuck you up, man.

And then he just stops.

Like some bisexual.

What did he say?

That made me really sad.

Well, my favorite Frankie McDonald video is the one where he blew up, got really popular, and then clearly his parents were like, Frankie, what the fuck?

You know,

you can't be popular.

You're disabled.

And so he made the video where he's in his room and he's whispering.

And he's like, attention, everybody.

Please do not share the video.

Oh, no.

Poor Frankie, dude.

Frankie's the official weatherman of Cometown.

I think that's clear.

Let's get him on.

He came out right around when Good Night and Good Luck came out.

I Photoshopped the cover of Good Night and Good Luck with Frankie McDonald's face on it.

And then I wrote Good Night, Good Luck, and Good Night, and Good Luck, and Stay Safe and Stay Warm and Good Luck.

Because at the end of his video, he would say like 19.

Yes.

That's a great piece of early internet meme making.

Yeah.

I used to love Photoshop.

Until like a year ago when they switched that subscription model.

Yeah, that sucks.

It was like my main form of creative output was.

But you can get it.

We can fucking get it.

Dude, it's not worth it.

You can get it for the business.

I understand I can expense it, but it's just like, it's such a fucking rip-off.

How much does it cost?

$50 a month.

Just for Photoshop?

For a single app.

A month?

Yeah.

They do have a photographer package where you get Photoshop with something else that's like $20 a month, but like, fuck Adobe.

So you can't download it and just get a fake key.

What if we split it?

How much a business thing to split?

Don't worry,

it doesn't matter.

Yeah, if you wanted multiple licenses, it would cost even more.

Like, non-transferable.

But damn, like, seriously, fuck Adobe for not allowing you to just have a standalone version of their app.

Yes, I agree with that.

That's fucking horseshoe.

There's no reason for it to be on a subscription model.

I mean, I know they're just trying to squeeze money out of you.

Yeah.

I mean, also, a lot of people were probably stealing it.

Yeah.

I mean, I stole it on college.

Psych, allegedly, I didn't.

Is it the same with Premiere?

Is it just a one-time

all that shit, dude?

So, so, wait, so you just use Final Cut instead?

Yeah, I use Final Cut.

Final Cut was sold to Apple, right?

Years ago.

It used to be.

It was something else in the 90s, I think.

But Apple.

I use Premiere now.

Apple's owned Final Cut at least since 2004.

I only know how to use 7.

Apparently, 7 is better than 10.

What?

Final Cut?

Yeah.

Yeah, I have Final Cut X, and it's like whatever.

Premiere,

I learned editing on Premiere and Premium.

Premiere is apparently the best.

I like Premiere.

Have you ever used Avid?

No.

I've never used either.

You know what's a weird one?

Vegas.

People use Sony Vegas.

What a weird, cokey name for a fucking editor.

Wait, I thought that was the name of the TVs they used to make.

No, Sony Vegas is their, like, their

non-linear editor.

Well, I should know that, dude, being someone from Vegas.

Shouts out to

the Golden Knights.

Let's go, NHL.

They should call that jersey, the team, the Golden Showers.

Dude, that is.

Because I would rather wear a shirt covered in piss than those jerseys.

I went to the Holden Men's Dicks.

Nice.

I went to the Sadium with my cat.

I think where Adam keeps his.

That's good.

His own dicks.

Dude, this is his dick holder right here.

That's my mouth.

Nick's pointing at his mouth, guys.

No, actually, it's more like a

place where a girl's kissed.

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

You have to.

You provided a wrong answer.

You are gay and wrong.

Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, ee, eeer.

It's like one of those laser grids.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like a diamond at the verbal laser grid.

It's like you have to get to the diamond.

You have to admit that you're gay.

You're not gay.

Don't jeopardize this.

That's another thing you're going to do.

You have to tell the truth.

Let's write that down.

That's going in with the thing with his ass, taking something out of his ass.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The bomb in the middle.

Peace meal write a movie like this.

There's a bomb in my ass.

Yeah, it's a bomb in your ass.

They have to put a

a six inch diameter disc into his ass without touching the sides or it'll explode.

They're like, I got this.

All right.

Well, that's enough for today.

Bye.

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