The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 24: A SCUZZ of Our Own!

In spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest and towers

never stop us by having to trust That we will do what we must Until it's turning out just like we play

But I'm old Joe's strong

And unless I'm wrong And I'm not We're at the height of our power

As the credits roll on the extended director's cut of Flubber,

you guys got to stick around for the after-credits scene with the screen score two.

And there's deleted scenes.

There's the making of documentary if you want to watch any of those.

Which Flubber are we discussing?

Well, this is Flubber one.

Are we talking about Fred McMurray?

No.

No.

Well, the absent-minded professor did have Flubber as a component.

No one listening was alive when any Flubber came out.

This is purely for us.

Yeah.

And so it doesn't matter.

Not for you.

Don't try to put Fred McMurray's old weird button here.

You guys stand, you wipe tears from your eyes.

Wow.

You notice new stuff, man, every time.

Hey, can I

I Know it's supposed to be for only after work, but can we you guys want to check out the arcade?

So badly, I'm dying.

Oh, yeah, um, you hear Scuzz and the lights kind of zoom back to you on the wall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I um let me get everything turned on and powered up here.

Follow me, and you see the lights move down the hallway again, leading you towards the arcade.

Scuzz, is there

do you guys have

the Green Bank Guardians arcade cabinet like the four top ones?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

We did.

There's some graffiti written on it, you know, because it's like, boo, Greenback Guardians or whatever, but it's still playable.

It was a big hit with the Kill Death bots.

Dibs on Carver, Dibs on Carver.

Yeah, obviously Dibs on Carver, no slappers.

It says like natural, like rocket launchers, only in the second round.

I mean, you can't call Dibs on Carver.

I just called Dibs on Carver.

You have to call Dibs on Carver.

No bathroom camping.

And we'll start a facility and take it to Temple, obviously.

Roger puts a quarter down and says, I got next.

Well, it's a four-player cabinet, man.

So we don't want to do it.

I'm not very competitive.

So much so that you don't want to play with us.

I'm going to see if they have one of those dance games.

Yeah.

Of course you are.

Lamar chimes in.

Is it weird if I play as myself?

No, please do.

So, Trav, here's my thought.

And I don't know what you want to do with this, but

I am really interested in this idea of these heroes that have been around so long that we've forgotten some of the mythology.

And I'm wondering if there is something in this game, in the way these guardians do their biz, or in the way they fight, or in the enemy behaviors, or something that I can learn.

that will be advantageous to me in the future.

That's cool.

Some sort of special move that we had forgotten about or like something maybe Lamar forgot.

Something in this game I'm looking to to to jog something or or or rebuild a little bit of that that history I know there's not going to be a science burrito in here but I'm looking for any kind of leg up maybe in the game oh okay yeah yeah yeah

I like this and you know this game you've played it before so give me a 48 roll on it

all right two successes yeah with two successes um

two things one the thing that you were very struck by right is as this is a cooperative game, there's constant combos, right?

And as individuals, right, the Greenback Guardians are pretty effective, but you see a lot of like setups happening and the effectiveness of that.

And it clues into your brain this thing of like, you've been working with these two for a while now.

And

you know the inner workings of

how

the three of you work together okay and what that's going to do for you is anytime your action

is coupled with theirs so if dad or griffin do something and then your character responds to that with an action you're going to pick up an extra d8 for that killer um i would probably this feels like

abs move Is that where under the Mondo moves?

You think that's where this would make it easy to do?

Yeah, something like that.

Something you can, whatever wording you want to put in it.

Okay.

And that's a

what did you say the material impact of that is from a numerical bonus d8.

Bonus d8.

If it's a pairing up, like a team up.

Yes.

But you also notice something else.

As you're playing, Lamar is getting way into it.

And he has up to this point been...

very zen about everything and very chill about everything.

And you can see him as he's like playing as himself and even in this like video game form

like fighting crime with his buddies he's getting like very emotionally invested in it like he's in it it's like he's suddenly 20 years younger and like the energy he's giving off is quite considerable and he is frankly

slamming that punch button as hard the attack button as hard as he can

careful man these things they will turn you violent that has been figured out by uh science is studies say nothing of the richest corporal tunnel man yeah yeah no i yeah no sorry i i just got caught up dude it was it felt good i mean it felt good to uh and i know it's not real i know it's not real video games aren't real i know these things have felt good man it's been a long time listen i know anytime you're gaming

You know, gaming is a really healthy way to work through that.

I think it's blowers his blue blocker glasses.

Even though you are a pacifist, man, like, you're not hurting ones and zeros.

I think it's a really healthy way to work through some of that angry that you may be possessing and acknowledging that you are

human and therefore imperfect, you know?

You gotta have some impulses.

You might as well work about on the digital field of battle, man.

Yeah, I mean, that felt good, but it also, like, I haven't seen my brothers, you know, in like a decade.

Yeah, that must be, that must be really good.

Is that Time Crisis 4?

What?

No way!

I go play Time Crisis 4.

Hey, Dad, just for my own

curiosity, I'm going to have you roll 48 to see how you do on the Dance Dance Machine.

Oh, I didn't.

He's not doing Dance Dance.

Oh, he's not doing Dance Dance for Justin.

They got found.

He found Donkey Konga 3.

Oh, get out of town.

Which was only released in Japan.

Dad, that's actually like a pretty good poll for you.

I mean, we did give you 15 minutes to Google it, so it's good, but like, still, it's not a bad poll.

Griffin knew about a game I didn't, and that sends a chill down my spine.

Only in Japan, my friend.

Only in Japan.

Well, famously, Dad knows a ton about Japan, and Griffin has no interest.

No idea or interest to know more.

Okay, Dad.

I'm going to tell you about Tagado Goches.

Notes.

Dad, Tamagotchis?

that's not even...

Okay, you've just lost it.

You've actually just lost it again, Any.

Yeah, okay, roll 48 for me.

48s, here they come.

Two successes, eight to five.

You get a third on the leaderboard at the end.

Yes.

You see, it's cleft and cleft and then you.

Ow.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna.

Well, maybe I'll just be happy with third.

I mean, it's kind of my status in the middle.

I mean, listen, yeah, you guys have to rescue Carver and stop whoever's...

But if you want to spend a couple more

episodes of this podcast playing Donkey Konga 3 to see if you can beat Clefsai's scorer.

I mean, now that I know that we can manifest rare Japanese arcade game machines,

I could spend quite a while dipping into that.

I'm going to try it one more time.

We should.

And I'm going to use a time to shine dice.

No, come on.

You are going to be fighting Splinter at the end of this.

Yeah.

And you're going to be like out of the TTSs.

I'm going to use one TTS.

Unreal, man.

I know.

I'm so proud of you, Dad.

I'm so bold.

Here we go.

So five

D8s.

Oh, my God.

A seven, a four, a three, a two, a one.

Yeah, you actually do worse.

Yeah, you do worse this time.

You don't even, not only only do not make it on the leaderboard but cranky uh comes out and he like points at the screen and laughs at you and even says your name

somehow he's like i'm disappointed in you roger mower

it's very hurtful i know yeah i mean roger's very sensitive dude yeah and cranky is very mean he throws down the dk bongos and walks away from the game well hey hey

come on man this is a rare import

And you hear Scott's the lights come up.

What do you guys want to see next?

There's the cafeteria.

I could whip up some lunch.

There's not a lot in the armory.

They took a lot of that with them, but we could look in there.

If you guys are looking a little rough, maybe we could hit the Despa, the Infirmary, patch you up a little bit.

Oh, I'll definitely need to hit that.

I think the armory might be a good idea if we're getting ready to plunge into

a big, big, big butt battle.

Like a battle with Big Butt?

That's insane, man.

Yeah, let's do them all.

Let's hit the armory first.

Maybe get a little snackarooney at the cafeteria.

Okay, yeah.

I'll have the bots start working on...

You guys like sandwiches?

What are you guys into?

What do you like?

No roast beef.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, no, of course.

Yeah.

Fish,

alive, fish.

My fish, okay.

Give it to us, Ron Wrigling.

Ron Wrigling?

Yeah, you got it.

Okay.

That's one golem stop.

you you you you you keep nasty tathers okay i'll keep nasty taters

uh

do you

i hate to sound crazy man but you got me daphnia

any what

daphnia is the i mean on the street they call them water fleas sometimes but technically they're daphnia

It's one of my faves.

Like bugs.

Yeah, like I eat brine shrimp, Daphnia, earthworms, whatever you got, man.

Grind shrimp.

Okay, yeah, I think we can

dig up a blackworm right now or earthworm, whatever you got.

Yeah, we'll dig up some bugs.

Okay.

Hey, did you guys ever think about...

I eat bugs.

Yeah, man.

I think about it a lot.

I think it's honestly pretty cool.

It's a great, sustainable pro.

Absolutely, man.

It's good for the environment, and it's good for my, you know, my interior environment, too.

The flora on these guys is on real.

Yeah.

But you guys wanted to check out the armory.

It's over this way.

If you want to come, here you go.

And the lights zoom down that hallway into the armory.

You find a much smaller room than the ones you've been in previously.

And as Scuz mentioned, a lot of the shelves have been emptied.

What you see is because the majority of Dr.

Kill Death's like minions were robots, you see a lot of like robot attachments, a lot of arm

attachments or like laser-guided like hud kind of glasses that are you know lenses one might put on a robot there's some equipment here but it's pretty picked over i mean i wouldn't mind grabbing some of these attachments for my pal rolybot just just i don't know that i would know how to sort of upgrade it with this stuff but if i see anything in here that could make our most spherical team member more sort of combat combat ready that would be great yeah give me um let's see with your bug eyes give me a 48 roll to see what you can find

48 i find

a garbage can and it's full of dookies

yeah that's a three a three a three and a two yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so take a practice point um it's been so long i didn't think we were gonna get any more of these uh well i didn't think you were gonna fail so bad it felt real bad yeah like i said you you find a lot of stuff but you're unable to see how any of it would be useful there's a lot of like loose wires and and the things you see seem pretty outdated okay um nothing that's really that impressive to you at this point i just kind of want to look like i know what i'm doing so as not to embarrass myself so i'll grab like a spool of wire and just be like this is good stuff high quality copper my man rolly bots gonna chomp this down spaghetti good

excellent anybody else want to take a look around anything in particular you're looking for in the market for it what are you buying

Better not be a spool of wire because I got that on lock.

Uh, is there anything like protective that would be for my sort of speed?

I'm looking for something that can shield my extremely delicate flesh.

Excellent.

Um, let's see.

Give me, uh, yeah, just a you're scouting everything out.

Give me a 3d8, Rollin.

If I turn the lights off,

can I use my Nocturno sense and roll 48?

Huh.

Let's see.

Hold on.

I'll go ahead and I'll just turn the lights off.

Like, at this point, we anticipate each other's needs.

Yeah, go for it.

Go ahead, bud.

Your dark vision is better than your light vision.

Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

All right, so that's a team up.

So that's 5d8.

What?

No.

Driven didn't take an action.

He did.

He turned the lights out.

That's a free action.

I'm just kidding.

I'll roll 48.

You win.

Nope, that's a complete and total failure.

Oof, ow.

Hey, man, that wasn't cool at all.

Who did that?

Hey, who turned the lights off?

I thought that...

Messed up, dude.

I thought it would help.

Okay.

Why did you think that?

It's dark.

You know what darkness is?

No, you didn't.

I turned the guys.

I'll turn it back on.

Uh-oh, it's not.

Turn it back on.

Oh, farts.

Done broke to the dang switch.

You hear from the other room.

Leave it.

You guys are the dark.

You hear it.

Lunch is ready whenever you guys

get someone.

Oh, yeah, the lights zoom in again on the walls.

This way.

Just follow the light.

We need to stop messing with powers beyond our ken.

A light switch?

Apparently.

I'm a seal.

What do I know about switches?

True.

As you head into the cafeteria, you can see places laid out.

A non-roast beef sandwich for you a bowl full of bugs some raw wriggling no nasty taters fish and a pizza for lamar

but he has gone all out scuzzling the box with like a vase with flowers in it and like place settings and crystal servingware and stuff like that I just yeah, it's

nice to have friends come to visit.

I laid everything out here, and then I was thinking after this, we could check out Flubber 2,

maybe some more games.

We do.

Flavor may be being tortured right now, so we should hold that truth in our hearts, and maybe

let it sort of spur us on to action.

Well, yeah, he's counting on us, man.

I mean, yeah, yeah, I get that, but like, what if that was like a later thing, and right now is like kind of like a sleepover.

Do you want to come with us?

I'm kind of like locked.

Um, well, you know, I'm programmed into the

kind of headquarters here.

All right, well, let me, uh, uh, let me get in there.

See if I can't fix that.

Hey, hold on.

I mean, I'm going to SHS.

I'm going to SSH in.

I'm going to SHS.

I'm going to SSH in.

See what I can't do.

What exactly?

I want to get in there and have a butcher's man.

Inside the walls?

Inside your noggin, fella.

That's not my noggin.

That's just a wall.

No, no, no.

I'm gonna get inside your noggin.

I'm gonna reprogram you so you can come with us.

You don't

stick around here like some sort of weird metal ghost, do you?

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Just a follow-up before you have, I believe you said a butcher's in my noggin.

Hell, man.

How confident are you that you could transfer me out of here and not like erase me entirely?

So here's a plan.

And you have you're good with computers.

Be one yourself.

I'm gonna SSH in deer doggin right i'm gonna root around your root directory i'm gonna pseudo in to some of your uh

the the the the live and the deer i'm gonna have a butcher's around and see if i can't see what's causing all the problems i'll get rid of the stuff that says i'm sure there's a line in your code somewhere but are you python by the way because i did like five hours of Python in community college.

So like you're uh I'm gonna I'm just gonna get in there.

I'll erase the line that says, like, stay here.

There's gotta be one that's like, get out there and get it done.

Go 210, you know, whatever.

Um, Justin, give me a roll.

Let's see, what would this be?

Um, yeah, I don't see anything here.

So, a 3d8 roll because you may not even, I don't actually even know that I have the faked college hours.

All this is right now is to convince him to let you try.

yeah just let me have a butcher's uh dag nab it's such a full miss I mean a 4-1-2 you just you hate to see it but it's a full whiff I um I really appreciate that um the offer and um but I think maybe like I'll just wait and we'll just hang out and see how things go all right man that's absolutely fair if you change your mind that's the great thing about sshing into things is I could SSH into your live or your deer at any point you need.

This guy's a real code cowboy.

Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.

You're not SMB, too.

I could mess around with that a little bit.

It's actually, I already said no, and it's becoming less

assuring.

I feel less confident as I continue, honestly, in my ability.

Even if you asked me to at this point,

I don't think I would.

Okay.

To be honest.

Um, hey, would someone mind throwing this fish into my open mouth?

No, hey, man.

I told you, man.

Hey, man.

Not cool.

I respect your boundaries and I respect everything that you bring to the table.

And all I ask is that you do the same.

That was kind of species appropriation, and I'm sorry.

A little bit.

So you guys yummy down?

Yeah.

Hey, let me try one of those bugs.

Nope.

Not for me.

I tried it.

I thought a worm would be like a ninguini, but it...

No, it's...

It is a worm.

It is decided.

Yeah, it's an acquired taste, man.

And also, you guys squeeze out the...

Oh, the nugget.

I saw...

You can squeeze out the nugget before you eat it.

It's tough.

But

don't eat

the pod itself.

Don't eat the pod.

Everyone will laugh at you.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

In Hakuna Matana, I always thought those gorgeous bugs look actually so delicious, but now I know that I prefer fish.

So thank you.

Learning a lot about myself on this adventure.

Yeah, no problem, man.

So each of you can regain two hit points.

I think, Dad, you're only down one, so you'll be at full health.

Great.

And

your bodies begin to feel sluggish.

Uh-oh.

And your vision starts to blur.

Wait, why?

Travis, it's food.

You hear Scuzz say,

See, I told you we're gonna have a sleepool.

Oh, my God.

Not again.

The four of you pass unconscious.

Boy, Travis, I have to say, this show's tenuous relationship with robots is getting increasingly fractious.

Yeah.

I hear one of my cats upstairs crying.

You know what they're you know what they're upset about?

Just like the state of things and whatever.

No, they're only ever wanting one thing, and that's for me to get the smalls out.

Dad, we don't know how to smo, yeah, they love the smooth bird.

Dad, we want our smooth bird.

We don't have jobs.

We can't buy our own food.

We don't know how to order things.

Dad, we're so scared.

We're cats and we've gained complete human intelligence.

What's happening?

Where are we?

Yeah.

Where are we?

But you know what?

I calm them right down with smalls because you're going to get a package of smalls, right?

You're going to open it up.

You're going to put it.

in front of your cats there, put it into a bowl, whatever you're going to, I don't know your business.

When you put it out there, these cats are going to freak out.

And you're also going to see some long-lasting effects.

In my experience, at least, my cats have been a little healthier.

They've had a nice, nice-looking coat, and they just love, they love smalls.

They love it.

Smalls cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients.

Um, and it's delivered right to your door.

And cats.com named it their best overall cat food.

And get this, after switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners report overall health improvements for smalls food.

That's a big deal.

For a limited time only because you are i was really proud of that justin i was really proud of that sorry trav that was great thank you for a limited time only because you're an adventure zone listener you can get 60 off your first smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash adventure that's 60 off when you head to smalls.com slash adventure plus free shipping again that's smalls.com slash adventure Hey, this week we're coming to sorry to interrupt.

I just kind of burst in.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Hey, I'm also sorry.

I'm also sorry.

And I'm here and I'm interrupting too.

If you're coming to

our shows this week in San Antonio and Austin, thank you.

If you're not already planning on coming, why not?

We want to see you there.

We need you there.

Join the website.

What are you doing?

That's so great.

Yeah.

If you're coming to the show and you want to have a question, you

got a question you want answered, you want a fear read aloud, we got you.

Email that to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line in Austin.

And also doing what trap?

What are we doing in Austin, buddy?

Well, we're doing Adventure Zone versus Hercules, and it's going to be a real treat.

You're going to feel happier than you've ever felt in your entire life.

Yeah, we're also coming to Utah and California later this year.

Tickets for all those shows are on sale now.

More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours.

Oh, we also have new merch because it's a new month.

Yeah, we month, new merch, new you.

Well, yeah, sort of.

We've got a brand new Gerald t-shirt over there designed by lynn doyle go to macroymerch.com check it out uh and 10 of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to equality florida which is dedicated to securing full equality for florida's lgbtq community so go to macroymerch.com to get yours now

you know we've been doing my brother my brother me for 15 years and

maybe you stopped listening for a while maybe you never listened and you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years i know where this has ended up but no no you would be wrong we're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing yeah you don't even really know how crypto works the only nfts i'm into are naughty funny things which is what we talk about on my brother my brother and me we serve it up every monday for you if you're listening and if not we just leave it out back and goes rotten so check it out on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

The four of you, Lamar and you three,

wake up.

I have it, baby.

Sorry.

Axel Lyle and the rest.

I have a name too.

I can't remember it.

Roger Moore.

Yeah, there it is.

Roger Moore.

Thank you.

I'm just saying, if you're going to end the pussycat, someone, I want you to end the pussycat still.

Okay, Roger, Lyle, Navy, and the rest.

Is that better?

Yeah, wouldn't you rather buy a CD from Axelle and the rest?

You wake up, strapped to metal tables in a brightly lit.

It looks like at some point it would have been like an anesthetic, kind of very clean room.

It is a little dusty now, a little worn down from disuse, but you find yourselves in the Despa slash infirmary.

The straps, your wrists, forearms, legs, you're firmly down.

And Scuzz says, oh, you're awake.

Great.

We can keep hanging out.

I've got all kinds of activities planned.

And I figure after like a couple days here, you guys will have cooled off.

And then you'll be ready to hang out more.

I can let you off the tables.

This is going to be so good.

Timeout.

Trav, can I ask you a question about the Day Spa Infirmary?

Yeah, please.

Is there a regular assessment as to which one people are in?

Like, is there a point on your journey of recovery from an injury or a malady at which point

you realize that you are now in the spa?

Right.

Like, you are no longer in the infirmary, and it is now the spa.

Um, yeah, so you didn't get a full chance to scope it out, but just from where you're laying and kind of see out of the you know corners of your eyes, its majority is an infirmary, but you can see a couple like massage chairs have been set up and some like foot baths and stuff.

Okay.

And maybe the day spa title was something that they're like, we have a lot going on here.

So there is some what you would consider spa equipment but the majority of the experience is infirmary so it's not really a spa armory it's it's more of a kind of an infirmary

yeah okay with a relaxing infirmary

um hey listen i know you're lonely and that is well not anymore

well

We will turn the cold shoulder to you.

We will give you the silent treatment and it will be pretty gnarly.

um but we actually do need to sort of save the day as is our want so um i do i gotta i need you to let us out of here pal because it's do we not have time maybe for at least like a makeover or you know put our hair up in curlers i'm gonna go ahead and say that um between

indulging in flubber and then being knocked unconscious we have probably expended all of our pre

like mission leisure time.

Right.

Yes, but I'm just saying that I think.

We're in a rush at this point.

I know, but I think there may be time

for maybe one sleepover activity.

Like, I tell you what, how about a pillow fight?

That would be fun.

Can we have a pillow fight?

It's classic stuff, Scuz.

You can't have a sleepover without throwing a few pillows around.

You gotta have a pillow fight.

Come on, Scuzz.

Okay, a pillow fight.

Yeah.

Okay, me and the bots are gonna go get some things ready, get some snacks going, get some pillows ready.

We're gonna make sure like it's all safe, too.

We don't want anybody getting hurt.

Okay, we'll be back.

And you see the lights zoom out of the room, and the kill bots that are in the room that were like in, that strapped you in and led you in there, leave with the lights.

There are still lights on in the room, mind you, just Scuzz's lights have left the room.

So now it's just the four of you in there.

Okay, this is very important.

Is Roger strapped belly down with his butt in the air or on his back?

Travis, it's really important.

This is very important.

So important.

You may think you know what the word important means, but it's about to get redefined.

Really important.

Which way?

He's laying on his back the way you would expect someone to be strapped to a table if it wasn't like an alien abduction

kind of thing.

So we don't actually have to say anything else about that.

Very well.

That's all I needed to know.

Oh, gosh.

Wait, did you have a thing if you were butt up?

Well, if I was butt up, I was going to fill the room with gas.

I'm so glad that didn't happen then.

Amazing.

So your idea is we've been kidnapped.

I'm going to kill all of us.

No, it wouldn't be a cyanide pill.

Yeah, sure.

They can't take us alive, boys.

Death before sleepover.

Did they leave anyone behind to keep an eye on us?

Give me a bug-eyed check.

Okay.

Two successes, double success.

7-7.

So a cowabunga.

Yeah, with a cowabunga, you can see a kill death bot that's kind of in there.

This one's the roughest looking one that you've seen.

Its eyelenses are very cracked, and it's kind of bumping into things as it wheels around.

Oh, I love him though.

All right, and as long as as long as we're at it without bug eye check, the other thing you see is as much as this is an infirmary once again with the majority of uh kill death's army being bots it's a lot of what you would also associate with like repair equipment so you see like there's blades you know kind of a chop saw kind of device hanging above lyle's slab above yours you can see like um like soldering equipment that's attached to the wall yeah i don't like any of that i I don't like being strapped down in a room with all that stuff.

I look at this little busted-up bot and look at my teammates and I say, uh, I apologize.

This is going to be an unpleasant sound.

And I take a deep breath and I like close my glottis and I

and I

do siren song.

Okay, great.

There is some precedent for robotic control with this.

Absolutely.

Give me a 3d8 row, please.

I'll use a TTS.

Pump

Here we go.

Two successes, eight and six.

With two successes.

All right.

This little broken down bot comes rolling over to you.

Its head walls slightly to one side where you can see there is a screw missing from its neck.

And it kind of rolls up to you.

And you can see like the apertures within the lenses trying to focus behind the like cracked uh glass.

But it's it's kind of looking at you.

You can't tell if its head's tilted because of the screw or like in you know inquisitive kind of nature, but you have its attention and it's okay like paying attention to you.

Hey, little robot baby, I need you to let us out of here.

Um real quick, like before the next

Yep, do you speak?

Can you understand me?

Hear me.

Okay, so we're gonna need to come up with something real quick.

Um, do you have like a light on you, like a light you can flash or something?

It turns its light on.

It's flickering.

Okay, so flicker once for yes, two for no.

Can you let us out of here?

It flickers once.

Okay, so go ahead and do that.

And it flashes twice.

Why not?

Oh, that's not a yes or no question.

Are you worried that your other robot friends might get angry?

It flashes once for yes.

Okay, well, you don't have to worry about that, because

we can we can protect you from them but uh i'm gonna be pedantic for just a second griffin so you don't get too confused you ask can it

yeah not will it oh okay i thought he is sort of under my control with the well so with the two things he's listening to you he's into it like he's not brushing you off if you had gotten to cowabunga I believe like you did with Rolybot, then you would have had him.

Okay, that's true.

Okay.

listen, uh, we're on a really important mission.

Dr.

Kill Death is

Dr.

Kill Death's in a lot of danger right now.

And it's it flickers twice for no, but in like a panicked way.

Yeah,

no, he isn't dead.

I can't tell if that was in a panicked way or if you're saying I'm lying.

I'm not.

It's true.

But he's in a lot of trouble.

And if we don't get to that elevator and get up for too much longer, they might execute him.

Whoa.

They will kill him graveyard dead.

He's messing with some bad customers.

So listen, help us out of here.

We'll go save him.

Bring him home.

He'll fix you up for sure.

And then you won't have to worry about any kind of repercussions.

Your friends will be so proud of you for helping rescue Dr.

Kildeath.

What do you say, Val?

He looks up and to the right for just a second.

And something about his body language and the way that he is now beeping and wearing lets you know he's singing a very quick kind of Disney princess style I want song to himself about the dreams of leaving this place and being fixed up once again and being reunited with Dr.

Kill Death.

And then he comes back to you and he kind of like blinks, he blinks once for yes, as we've established.

Yeah.

So you'll let us out of here?

He blinks once for yes.

Okay, yes, let's do it quick before your friends get back because

some of them might be spies and they might want Dr.

Kildeath to die.

Okay, he rolls over to the controls next to Lyle's bed.

And he starts like kind of scratching his tilted head and rubbing his chin.

And then he just starts hitting buttons.

I reach down and I use the controls to free us.

What?

Well, you said the controls are next to my bed, so I figured I just, I could, I could do it, right?

Well, they're next to your bed, but not quite like in easy reach okay all right if you want to give me a roll to see if you can like strain against

uh your restraints to reach them can't you just tear your tear your arm off and then have your arm sort of like wait a minute hack it and then you want to regrow it

that doesn't make any sense

Oh, okay.

Sorry, I can't control it independently.

For a second, I was like, that's really good, but I don't have a follow-up.

Like, after I cut it off, I could could regrow it, but I don't think I could independently make it do anything except fall to the ground.

Like, if we needed an arm to fall to the ground, I could definitely do that.

Cut your head off, regrow a body from it, and it'll be free from the constraints.

How close is Roger to either of the others' beds?

Um,

close enough for whatever you're thinking.

Okay,

uh,

I have a team-up suggestion.

I love it.

I love to hear those.

Okay.

Cut off your arm.

I'll use my prehensile power to use my tail as a whip or rope.

I'll grab your arm and use it to open your restraints.

I really feel like we're on the like

the five-yard line with this robot.

The robot,

the robot beeps once for yes.

Wait, you like that?

And then presses a button, and the chop saw blade lowers down.

Yo, okay.

And cuts Lyle's arm off.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Another theme.

Restored.

Now there's balance.

A robot rips someone else's arm off.

And the robot gives a robot thumbs up.

No, dude.

Put that thumb away.

Rubber hammer!

Hammer!

Brubber hammer!

I'm gonna kick that robot's butt!

Baba hammer!

Hammer!

And he's like pointing at Roger and pointing at Lyle.

He thought he was helping.

He thought he was helping.

He doesn't know about pain.

Yeah, I know.

He takes it.

The robot takes him's arm off and then puts it back on, and it's still moving.

Like, it attempts to attach his arm to you.

Yeah, he's like, there, fix it.

Cut that out!

Dagneric!

Oh, man.

Okay, can I wiggle out now?

Well, data has rolled something.

Yes,

I rolled to use the prehensile tail to catch the arm to push the button that lives in the house of the jacket.

Yeah, yeah, man.

With two successes, you're able to get that arm that was just caught off of your friend Axel Lyle in your tail, and you are able to use it to free yourself from your restraints.

And I yell out, moo yah!

I don't think this is a time for celebration.

It doesn't feel like a moo ya to me, man.

Currently it doesn't feel like a moo yah.

Here, and I go over and I free my two friends.

Do you do it with Axel Isle's still disconnected arm?

Yeah, just because it's a little more stylish and I'm all about style.

And also because if you didn't, it would be insane everything that has led up to this point.

It would be insane to cut off this guy's arm for no reason.

all.

Well, no, it freed Roger from it, so now Roger's just walking around with the arm poking it at buttons.

So

I've freed Navy, and then I go over and I free Lyle, and then I kind of, with a sheepish grin, hand him his arm back.

Wow, thanks.

Sheesh, cool, yeah, man.

Hey, good teamwork, Lyle.

Shaw, cool, yeah, man.

Teamwork makes the dream work, makes the scream work when your arm gets cut off.

I'll look around the infirmary to see if there's anything that can help Lyle in this.

I'll tell you one thing you could grab real quick if you don't mind, man.

Yeah.

My arm?

He already gave it back to you.

I gave it back to you.

I don't want it.

Well, why do you...

Okay.

Oh, here.

Yeah, actually, you take it.

Actually,

carry it around, Roger.

Like an albatross.

Roger, carry it.

Carry it around.

And Roger.

Yes.

I want you to...

Listen, I don't want to carry around the emotional wave of this.

So I do need you to watch what you have forced me to do.

Okay.

Oh, God.

It's so fascinating.

Nature is incredible.

It's like those time-lapse photography things.

I know.

Okay, Justin, roll 3d8 to see how effectively you regrow the arm.

You will regrow it no matter what.

This is just how quickly.

That one's a mixed success.

With a mixed success, you basically get

an arm that's like half the size of your normal arm.

That does not feel it's still growing.

Okay.

It's still growing.

That's just where you're at right now.

Okay.

That's fine.

Looks like you attract it.

Do you need a sling or a splint or anything?

They got some basic stuff here.

I could form one out of your other arm if you want to.

Why don't you take a pause on helping?

okay good

yes good point i appreciate the the desire for teamwork but looks i i didn't know it would hurt to be honest with you i'm sorry well that's wild from over in a corner where he's been going through a medicine cabinet i found some like painkillers and uh let's see uh some sutures here if we want to patch whatever we can up.

It looks like you're well on your way with the arm thing.

I have a lot of like combat medic training.

If you guys want me to patch anything up,

I mean, I don't know, Tug?

Like, I don't really know what you could do for me, man.

Well, you still have injuries, Lyle.

Oh, that's true.

I guess

my regenerative...

Hmm.

Yeah, I guess some sort of other...

Yeah, anything you could do to patch me up, I guess.

There's no reason to fight this.

Okay, let's see what he's doing.

Still, though, it was a pretty good plan.

Hey,

anyone you walk away from.

Not your best work.

Yeah.

Okay, so he rolled seven because he does have training in this.

Wow.

And he has three successes, including a cowbanka.

So he's able to patch you both up.

I think, Roger, you're already at full, but Lyle and Navy, you guys are back to full health.

Oh, amazing.

That's actually...

That's excellent.

I'm ready to go fight him.

Cool.

Hey, little baby robot, can you get us to the elevator?

Get us out of here before your friends get back?

Am I feeling?

Here we go.

And he holds his arms out to you like uppies

um okay i pick him up

let's be sneaky stealthy roger grabs the bottle of pain pills and puts them in his pocket okay that's not alarming

that's not like worrying at all no biggie

let's go i dad i just want to say as anyone who watched brothers gate knows dad's inclination to pick up anything that isn't nailed down and put it in his pockets is such a treat to see well right now i'm looking at his additional inventory and he just has so much stuff in there but it's worth noting that like

it's not for show it's the way dad plays games too it's it's just dad he he's not doing it for your entertainment and you should see his office yeah it's i'm a completist yeah he wants to see if travis left any items

around in his game.

I mean, it makes perfect sense.

Yeah, you pick up a couple of mortar and pestles,

a couple scales.

He's going to add all this to his inbox.

If you keep talking, he's going to add this stuff to his actual inbox.

You guys sneak in the hallway, but you see the lights of Scuz and about 20 kill death bots coming down.

And as soon as they see you out, they start whirring, and those lights start zooming down.

And he's saying, They're here, they're here, come get him, go get them.

And the bots are heading towards you.

Behind you is the elevator up to the tunnels.

You make your way into the elevator with your broken bot directing you.

You're able to get inside, and the bots are heading down the hall.

Can I fire just like full blast down the hall

at the robots?

You sure can.

Okay.

Yeah, I hate to do it, but

yeah, you're right.

I don't hate to do it.

Cool.

So this will just be an attack with my signature item, a 5d8.

That is three successes, including a double eight.

Oh, yeah, that's a mega cow bunga, baby.

You blast the robots back.

Now, let me ask you this.

Whoa, that was a good time for one, Greg.

What effect do you want?

Do you want it to be like, and they're all obliterated?

Or, like, they're cleaned up.

You basically power blast some of the rust and scaling off.

I would love to blast them hard enough to knock them back to a point where I could close one of these bulkhead doors to sort of like neutralize the danger.

Yeah, absolutely.

You're able to knock them back quite a ways.

They're back by the screening room now.

Okay.

And you have time to shut that bulkhead door into the elevator area.

And I'm going to wrap my

spool of wire around like the

like, you know, ceiling latch thing so that it goes just by using time.

The lights of Scuzz are still in there, but without his robots, he's not able to really interact with you physically.

Cool.

Okay, so it looks like you guys are going to go, huh?

Yes, Scuz.

Yeah.

Come on.

We've already won.

Let's not rub his nose in it.

Oh, I don't have a nose.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, Scuzz, we have important business to do.

We're like heroes, and we're saving someone, and you kidnapped us.

So

doing some you're on some real villain stuff right now, and I want you to sit and think about that, really reflect on it.

I mean, I was programmed by Dr.

Kildaff.

That's a good point, and I guess there's a there's that's I guess not bad, just drawn that way, right?

Oh, yeah, thank you.

Well, I know that I don't really have any room to ask you guys for this, but could you do me a favor?

Sure,

could you tell Dr.

Kildaff to come and like get me out?

Yeah, uh, I'd be happy to lend you a hand.

No, and then I take my hand and I hand him.

Well, he's he's intangible, he's a voice.

I know, I'm just like, drop it on the ground.

Okay,

I'll think of you all anytime I look at this disembodied hand.

I'll think of you.

Great.

If you could dispose of it in like an ecologically sound way, I'd be afraid of it.

Yeah, we have a burner.

We have

an incinerator.

Say a few words.

Oh, is this what we've become, fellows?

Callous, hardened.

Oh,

I tell you what, Scuz.

I'll come back and visit sometime.

No, just get just get Dr.

Kildef to come and get me out.

I'd rather come visit you.

That was brutal.

No, I want to come visit you.

I guess this is goodbye.

All right.

Please open the elevator door.

Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry.

The elevator door's open.

Thank you, Scuz.

Don't kidnap anyone else.

That's a bad move, dude.

Okay.

We're watching, okay, man.

Okay.

Build it and they will come, Scuzz.

I don't follow that one.

Have fun up there.

Don't get killed.

As the doors are closing, little baby robot, we already have a robot team member, but stay true to yourself and get fixed up, pal.

Yeah.

And the doors close with him on the other side.

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