The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 22: Escape from Governor's Island!

In spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest towers

and trust that we will do what we must Until it's turning out just like you play

self-right is long, but our mojo strong And unless I'm wrong and I'm not, we're at the height of our power

We pick back off right where we left off.

Lamar and Navy, you have just made it outside of the volcano.

You see your friends mid-combat, surrounded by River City enforcement agents who do not look happy to be there, shrouded in darkness from the blacked out sky above.

lamar half the shield and says i'll do my best man to like protect you guys and try to take hits you just tell me where you want me to post up

yeah i was thinking maybe you could post up the edge of your shield into the head of that guy right there or that guy right there like hawk yeah i think my friend's endorsing whole-scale murder um well That's tough for a passive.

Yeah, wild to come out swinging.

We've known each other for about three minutes, man, and you're challenging my belief system, but I'm going to do my best to still protect you, because that's like what heroes are.

Well, hold on.

Actually, I didn't even think about this.

Hold on one second.

Hey, River City First, guys.

Are you all pacifists as well?

No, no, no, no.

Yeah, shoot.

None of you.

Did you hear that, Lamar?

So, Lamar, these guys are going to kill us.

Yeah, man, and I'm going to

protect you.

I'll take the hits.

Okay, great.

So you tell Lamar where you want him to stand, and he is going to try to keep some of the heat off

while you guys fight.

Cool.

Lamar, why don't you sort of post up by the east gate there and see if you can't just kind of like block people from coming in towards us?

All right, man.

I got you.

I don't know how you're going to do that without hitting a little bit, but it's up, I guess that's up to you to figure out.

All right.

Give him shell.

And he goes for a high five.

Cool.

Well, that's cool.

That's cool.

Yeah, I mean, I gotta take that.

High five.

Let's show what's going on.

All right.

Navy, what do you do?

I look around.

I look at Roger.

I say, what's the situation?

How many have you guys taken out?

Two.

Take it out.

Two out.

Maybe two.

Two is two is not a lot.

Okay.

Well, time for me to bust out some of my new tricks.

I'm gonna run over to this fountain at the center of the square here.

I assume that's what this circular water feature is.

Correct.

And I'm gonna just kind of get in there while charging up the splash pack.

And right as this group of RFC soldiers, goons,

roll up on me.

I'm gonna look at them and say, well,

let's get it wet.

And I'm going to launch myself up into the air, do an incredible triple LUTS up there,

spread eagle

horizontally, sort of aligning myself with the ground, and bring myself down on these 10 guys in a glorious film.

You're writing a gigantic check with very few roles here.

Now, I'm hearing a lot of adjectives that you're discussing.

When dropping down on a group of enemies from a significant height, Navy SEAL can deal damage to the group with a single weapon.

I'm hearing a lot of graceful, elegant,

devastating.

I hear a lot of flavor text.

First things first, we need to use the hydro propulsion roll to launch you into the air.

So that's 5d8.

Since it's your signature item and it's upgraded.

I have not used any time to shine dice.

I'll use one for this.

I imagine I'll probably need more for the actual attack.

68 Kamenacha.

That's two successes.

Very glad that I used my 68 there

because there were a lot of red colored dice in the mix as well.

Yeah, but wait, Griffin, what if the two Time to Shine dice you used were the first two failures?

I only used one, so that's a good point.

I could have just wasted that.

Dang.

You don't think about that, Statistics?

Don't you?

Try not to think about probability.

No, man.

You don't.

No one ever thinks about how much statistics and probability play into tabletop role-playing games.

Thank you, John.

It all seems like fun and devil worship.

And then you find out there's math involved.

Yeah.

It's chased many away.

Yeah, man.

More devil, less division.

Okay.

True.

Griffin.

Yeah.

So with your Foon,

that is going to be a 48 roll for it being a Mondo move.

The number of successes you get are going to be the number of guys that you're able to knock back.

You could also add Time to Shine Dice to this if you want.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to add two more Time to shine dice to this to try and get 68 and

uh really really just try to just try to wreck it.

I'm gonna wreck it.

That's more like it.

That's

a wreck.

Five successes with two eights, which is, I think,

what even is that in a mega.

Yeah, mega cowbunga.

Uh, so yeah, with a mega cowbunga, all let's see, eight of the guys, eight of the ten go flying.

They are not

knocked unconscious or anything, but they are definitely some distance away now.

Some of them landed on top of buildings.

Yeah, they're like they're probably not going to be a concern for us.

Wow.

This is like that moment.

I was always confused in like Xena and Hercules, where sometimes they would hit people and it would be like a bar fight.

And sometimes they would hit people and the people would go flying backwards through walls and over buildings.

This was one of the they went flying backwards through walls and over buildings.

It would be great if, like, in the next scene, like, one of those guys comes back and is like out of breath.

Like, dang, man, you really

sent me a far way away from the fight, but I'm here to pick it back up.

What I'm imagining, too, is like when you hit the ground with the food, not only is it the force of your body from being a bulky boy, but there's also like water expelled from your splash back, like one of those like squishy.

A cushioning

sprays out, you know what I mean?

Yeah, you all definitely still do hear.

Ow!

It still doesn't feel, but that's how you know it worked.

And it is a food.

And Roger, I'm also going to say, since of your proximity, and this has no effect on you on like mechanically, but your shoes did get a little wet from the splash because you're in the splash.

Sorry about that.

Okay.

Sorry, bro.

Sorry, bro.

But that has cleared out the West Track pretty well.

You got two more guys over there.

I look up at those two guys like, seriously?

And they stand and they kind of, they,

we got, we got wet, but we didn't get drenched.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But it was intimidating.

I appreciate that.

Can we maybe skip a turn?

You need to catch your breath, man.

Yeah, I need to catch my, catch my ribs.

A foon will do that to you, man.

Lyle, it's your turn.

You've got some guys here.

You're over in the shadows in the bushes, and two of the RCF agents have approached your location.

You could see them kind of sweeping their mag lights around, but they have not spotted you.

What do you do?

This is perfect.

This is exactly

this is exactly where I want them.

I am

going to

mimic the sound of a cricket

but a big one like a big cricket to where they're like that's weird chirp chirp exactly like that Griffin.

Thank you.

Actually, that's that's weird.

That's the exact sound I was gonna make.

So if you would just I'll just have you do that whenever I need a little bit of the old peppery.

But yeah, so I'm gonna make like a big manly cricket noise, Griffin.

You could just like

chirp chirp.

Yeah, I'm gonna try to lure

several of them over.

Okay.

Roll.

I'm looking here, and it doesn't seem like you have any special skills in this area.

No, that's what makes it art.

Okay, 2d8, please.

Huh, mixed success.

Okay, with a mixed success, two more are like, I gotta investigate what's going on over here.

But

the two that are looking have found you.

The two that were already there, I mean, are you sure?

Yeah,

okay.

Do they clock somebody in the bushes?

Yes.

Perfect.

And they're going to attack you now.

Don't take another step, man.

Uh.

My name's Dr.

Bush.

And you.

Oh, Dr.

Bush.

And I don't know how to tell you this, but you have a pestation problem.

Okay.

Yeah, man.

You.

Look around.

No, look around you.

You've got some serious problems with bugs.

And I'm...

And Dr.

Bush is here to sort it out.

Come close.

Look at this ash beetle.

All right.

Roll 2d8 for me.

That's a big success.

Yeah, that's a big success.

One of them's like, oh, ash beetle?

That's rare in this location.

I'm pretty sure that's an invasive species.

But the other one is going to take a swing at you.

Oh.

Ooh.

Wow.

Jesus Christ.

I don't think kids can hear Jesus.

No?

Is it like listen with their own?

Now it's actually at a pitch too low for child ears to hear.

That's.

So Travis has rolled away.

Jesus take the wheel.

An eight, three, eight, eight.

So a Omega cowabon.

Well, so on attack, it just means the eight can't be defended and goes through any armor, but Axela also doesn't have any armor.

So Axela Axelao is going to take three points of damage.

And

so Lamar's base defense

is three.

So

one's going to take a swing at him,

and he blocks the two hits that would have come from that one.

The other one takes a swing at them and he blocks the two hits from there.

It's graceful.

He's moving like the wind.

There is no anger to it.

But rather, as the wind moves a feather, so does Lamar move his shield.

Roger.

Oh, not all of those guys.

But they move forward.

For a whole turn, that's all I get to do is make a cricket noise?

And even I did it.

To be fair, Justin.

You made a cricket noise and pretended to, and I can't tell if you were trying to be a bush or some kind of like...

I was just making conversation.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't realize.

It's just

being neighborly.

So the Dr.

Bush thing was just a coincidence.

It was just Palaver, man.

It's just being neighborly.

Just like for the podcast, you have to say something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a rap sesh.

You can't just like look menacing or be quiet.

Well, I just want to point out that there's.

I could have been quiet and that would have hidden me better, but that doesn't make for a very good podcast.

Well, there were two guys already drawn to your location looking for you, and you're like, Here's what I want: more guys looking for me.

You're right, Trav.

It would have been way sad.

You would have attacked them.

You had

Lamar.

I'm trying to respect Lamar.

He wants to

just hear him from across the sidewalk, you're like, Hmm, that's not a bad idea.

Pacifism.

I mean, I have a hatchet that I use exclusively as a tool.

Like,

it makes a lot of sense to me.

No, I

That's fine.

I'll take my lumps.

Roger.

The two guys in the front of the southern line move forward.

They are going to take shots at you.

The first one would have gotten two hits with a five and a six, but your Kevlar suit is going to deflect those with two damage reduction.

And the other one, one hit.

So they take swings at you with batons and fists, but they are going to bounce off of your Kevlar vest, and it is your turn.

Roger makes that universal sign.

You know, where you, you know, rub like a couple of fingers under your nose,

and he says to Lyle,

Lyle, I believe you have a Batman in the belfry.

You might want to get that.

I mean, he makes the universal sign sign of two fingers rubbing under the nose again and

looks, looks at, looks at the wild really no.

Hey, pause real quick.

Justin Griffin, as Dad's describing this universal sign, do you guys have any idea what it's a sign for?

No, I don't know what he's on.

I'm trying to sad man.

And now I'm filled with,

like, rubbing it under, is he smelling something?

Is it like herbs?

This is like, it's like the most insane improv impulse because it's not just like, it's not a comedy prompt.

It's a puzzle.

It's like

daddy will say universal sign, and as soon as he uses those words, I know that I'm not going to understand the thing he's about.

It's a booger, you got a booger.

You can't tell if like he taught us the universe, you know what I mean?

Like, yeah,

no, no, no.

If we don't know it, it can't be universal because, like, you taught us universal, it's universal.

So, you want my fish, you want my axolotl man to think he has a booger.

Yes.

And what do you do when you have a booger?

I mean, I get a tissue and I wipe it to sleep.

Yeah, maybe a tissue, but maybe not a tissue.

Maybe

a handkerchief or a pocket square.

I'm not being difficult.

I'm just not.

I'm not a smart person.

I'm sorry.

We have these cool new pocket squares.

The red pocket square.

How come all of your actions

knowingly?

How come all your actions are dependent on us doing prop comedy?

Because I am a team player.

That's not what being a team player means.

That's very much what a team player is.

It takes two to complete a pass in the NFL.

Somebody's got to throw it.

Somebody's got to to throw it.

Yeah, but you're yelling at the quarterback.

Throw it to me, throw it to me, throw it to me.

You're like mailing the person a letter with where the ball's going to be if they can solve the Reapers.

I mean, like,

I guess I gave you too much credit.

Yeah.

I don't know.

You raised a stupid son.

It's kind of your fault, Dad.

Well, I'm sorry.

I eat my pocket swear.

You don't eat it?

Okay.

But do you

eat it with a flourish?

Would I could I um what

yes, I

daringly eat my pocket square.

No, okay, oh

I wave around a red pocket square that I have in my pocket

Like telepathy.

This is communicated.

It's so clear

Lyle what Roger was with the universal move.

Yes, obviously universal move.

And so Roger invokes his ab move, Tori, a new one.

When somebody waves something red, Roger runs straight at the thing with irresistible force.

Okay.

With his goal to be

to

attack the guys lined up

next to Roger.

Okay, so you're going to roll 4d8.

And I will tell you this,

if you get

two successes or less, you will hit people, but you will also hit Lyle as he is the one waving the red handkerchief.

So if you choose to use time to shine dice, you need three successes or more to not include

Lyle in

your

running into people.

Then I'm going to use two time to shine dice

because

obviously

I don't want to make this have bad resonance for Lyle so that he'd never do it again.

Yeah, you want it to be a positive experience.

I want it to be a positive experience.

So roll 68.

Three successes.

Three successes.

Seven, a six.

You're welcome.

So there is a cowbunga in there as well.

So not only do you spare Lyle,

but you are going to take out four of the guys, all four of them that were surrounding Lyle.

Wham,

including the bug expert?

No, that's Lyle.

Lyle was.

Oh, the one who was looking at the Ash Beetle?

Yeah, you knock all four of them away.

Okay.

So, Lyle, your pathway has now been.

Oh, wait, I have something to do.

Oh, push me.

Oh, good, good.

Ole.

Okay.

All right.

I'm still waiting for dad to say the thing he was going to say.

He's ole!

Uh-huh.

Mole?

Oh, okay.

Oil of Olay!

I don't know.

Okay, so

the two that were

they make their way down the path

where you are now lying in your post-foon position.

And they are going to take swings at you, Navy.

Good luck.

Oops.

Do you have any armor, Navy?

I don't.

I have extra health.

Okay, good.

Because that's three hits from one

and two hits from the other.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Okay.

Jeez.

Yikes.

Okay, that's half my health.

But it is your turn.

Um...

Man.

I thought we were gonna take a round off.

Oh, I thought you meant after we went to like have it a complete like you have your half, our half.

Take a break.

Just forget the whole thing.

This is ridiculous.

This is why nobody trusts you guys.

I'm gonna press a button.

No, man.

Your reputation is doctor.

Oh, man.

I'm gonna press a button on my,

like, controller for the splash pack that turns every nozzle frontwards towards these dudes.

And I'm just gonna open her up

and sort of put put my back up against this fountain for, you know, leverage and just really let them have it.

Really, really give it to them.

All right, roll 5v8.

I'll add one.

Really going through my time to shine dice here, but it seems like this is the time to do it.

That's gonna be three successes.

Three successes.

Six, a seven, a five.

So these guys

go blasting back.

Not quite to the wall, but it definitely clears you some distance to maneuver.

Okay.

Uh, and I'm gonna get get to my feet.

Okay.

Just so as to not get stomped on by any more bad boys.

Uh, can I get on the radio and be like, Dr.

Kildeath, how's that X-Fil playing going, pal?

Yes, it is coming along quite well.

Um,

I think it's going to be

just a couple more minutes.

You hear something like sizzle and pop, and he's like, hmm, yeah, this this is normal.

Are you cooking right now?

Are you cooking like an omelette or something?

Just some quick back bacon.

Will you please it's it's grain food.

Man, will you please let him cook?

I'm dying.

I am dying.

So Cleft, honey, will you watch the back bacon?

I need to finish the adjustments on the escape roof.

Of course, dear.

I hear one of my cats upstairs crying.

You know what they're, you know what they're upset about.

Just like the state of things and whatever.

No, they're only ever wanting one thing, and that's for me to get the smalls out.

Dad, we don't know how to,

yeah, they love the smooth bird.

Dad, we want our smooth bird.

We don't have jobs.

We can't buy our own food.

We don't know how to order things.

Dad, we're so scared.

We're cats and we've gained complete human intelligence.

What's happening?

Where are we?

Yeah.

Where are we?

But you know what?

I calm them right down with smalls because you're going to get a package of smalls, right?

You're going to open it up.

You're going to put it in front of your cats there, put it into a bowl, whatever you're going to, I don't know your business.

When you put it out there, these cats are going to freak out.

And you're also going to see some long-lasting effects.

In my experience, at at least, my cats have been a little healthier.

They've had a nice, nice-looking coat, and they just love, they love smalls.

They love it.

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And cats.com named it their best overall cat food.

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That's a big deal.

For a limited time only because you're an adventure zone.

I was really proud of that, Justin.

I was really proud proud of that sorry Trav that was great.

Thank you for a limited time only because you're an adventure zone listener You can get 60% off your first smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash adventure that's 60% off when you head to smalls.com slash adventure plus free shipping again that's smalls.com slash adventure hey this week we're coming to sorry to interrupt I just kind of burst in okay yeah sorry hey I'm also sorry I'm also sorry and I'm here and I'm interrupting too if you're coming to uh uh our shows this week in San Antonio and Austin, thank you.

If you're not already planning on coming, why not?

We want to see you there.

We need you there.

Join the video.

What are you doing?

That's so great.

Yeah.

If you're coming to the show and you want to have a question,

you got a question you want answered, you want a fear read aloud, we got you.

Email that to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line.

In Austin, and also doing what trap?

What are we doing in Austin, buddy?

Well, we're doing Adventure Zone versus hercules and it's going to be a real treat you're going to feel happier than you've ever felt in your entire life yeah we're also coming to utah and california later this year tickets for all those shows are on sale now more info and ticket links are available at bit.ly forward slash mckelroy tours oh we also have uh new merch because it's a new month yeah new month new merch new you Well, yeah, sort of.

We've got a brand new Gerald t-shirt over there designed by Lynn Doyle.

Go to mackerelmerch.com.

Check it out.

And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community.

So go to macromerch.com to get yours now.

You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother, me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah.

You don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back.

It goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show Let's Learn Everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Okay, Lyle, you're up.

Hmm.

This is my moment.

This is the moment that I've waited for.

This is the moment.

I'm gonna try to push the true the so that uh I'm going to push into the guys that have all crowded around me that have no idea that I'm here.

Well, bad news.

Dang it.

I was hoping you've forgotten.

Okay.

I want to grab the two guys that are closest to me and knock their heads together as hard as I can with my arms and my fists.

Okay, well, you know what that sounds like to me, Justin?

Anything's a drum.

Anything's a drum.

You're playing these boys like cymbals.

um at this point the improvised melee weapon is the other person's head hitting their head oh my gosh and it and those that the way that that like adds to it it goes back and forth

infinitely oh it's like a new straight-off like if both of their heads are the improvised weapon right and i get a bonus that bonus will reciprocate back and forth between those two weapons that are also the things that they are striking until that bonus is basically

infinite wow but that would explode the world well no it will un it will unmake them

i'll tell you this you get to roll three da if you roll three eights you will unmake them

man i've wanted a lot of unlikely rolls but this one oh one success one success um as you bonk them together one of them uh is is knocked out

but the other one is just kind of it hurts his head but it doesn't knock him uh unconscious

uh and he's gonna take a swing at you

but he's only gonna roll 3d8 because his head hurts

he does get two hits though wow must not hurt that bad

he's just mad mostly

The same two guys at the front of line are going to take swings at Lamar.

No, no, no hits on.

Wow, where were those rolls on my body?

On my personality?

Same question.

Roger, you're up.

I'm going to show.

Okay, explain one thing to me.

The whole

light situation.

He threw Hatchet Man, right,

at the ceiling.

Yes, correct?

What did that do?

Created,

they would be hitting with 5d8s, and they're hitting with 4d8s

because of a circle of darkness.

And

the ones that have been knocked out of the circle are much slower coming back in because they're having a harder time seeing.

So where is the

circle centered around the fountain in the middle?

And it goes...

One, two, three, four, five back.

In each direction.

So you are currently in shadow, and two more of the squares on the grid to the north are also in shadow.

Thanks, Roll20.

Okay.

Roger is going to move into the light.

Move out of the shadow and into the light.

Okay.

Is that fair enough?

Yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

He's going to move out of the shadow, into the light,

and is going to

do the

flamingo flamenco.

There's a light source shining on him, like a spotlight, or in this case, the light, I guess, the light from the ceiling.

He does a stomping, clapping, solo dance on one leg that is impossible for adversaries to ignore.

All attention is drawn to the dance, it is irresistible, and he holds all attention for 10 seconds.

Roll 48, and we're going to see how many agents' attention you grab.

Okay, 48.

68.

When the cowbanga, everybody in this area is immediately focused on you.

That's amazing, man.

You must have trained Juilliard.

Maybe Mooilliard.

It's incredible.

Look at him go.

Oh, I love

and

sonically just such, such a lot.

Lyle, that's going to leave you

to do whatever you'd like to do now.

What's the status of the two guys whose heads I knocked together?

Are they dead?

Do you need to get a funeral going for them?

Or I can't remember.

I mean, you could say, I don't know, last rites or whatever, but I think you just knocked him unconscious.

The other one, his headache, but he was drawn in by the rhythmic dancing of one Roger Moore.

So right now you find yourself...

Remember that?

Remember that?

Do you remember it?

No, I remember dad.

It was in my mind's eye, so now I can't ever forget it.

Now you find yourself unencumbered, unsurrounded, free to move or do whatever you wish.

Hmm.

I could dance some more.

Well, you're never going to not dance again.

Oh, dancing forever.

So there's nobody around me, right?

Correct.

Okay.

And

is anybody who's in the most active...

Oh, I got it.

Perfect.

I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

There's all right, I'm gonna sit.

I'm going to the safest place I can think of.

And I go and I stand near Lamar.

Oh, hey, man.

Hey, I'm going to stand near you.

Okay.

Like, I figure if you love protecting stuff so much.

Next to the big living shield is like the most killer place for me to be man.

So I just kind of I just kind of grooved it over here okay just watch out because the shield's kind of unidirectional you know what i mean well that's fine because i got something for the guys that can't reach and then i'll punch the guys nearest lamar so i'm like back to back with him on the punching side oh okay great shielding there's a guy that just stepped up to you exactly right so i'm going i'm like lamar i'm i'm kind of like little spooning into lamar

to use his protection on my back that's what every pacifist is looking for, really, like a really aggressive buddy.

Yeah, exactly.

The yin to his

pacifist is just waiting for some psychopath to complete them and be all violence.

Okay,

give me...

How are you attacking the guy that just stepped you?

Oh,

I am...

Does Lamar have anything on him that would be funny?

Um.

give me a second.

I don't have a minute to think, Travis.

I reach into Lamar's pocket and I grab the first thing I can.

I gotta improvise a weapon.

I pull out my hand and there in my hand is...

It's an incense holder in the shape of a ceramic pizza.

Smell you later!

Bong!

Then I hit him on the head.

I hit him on the head as hard as I can with the incense holder.

Okay, great.

Give me an anything's anything's a drum roll with 3d8.

Two successes.

Yet the ceramic pizza shatters over this guy's head and he goes down.

Oh, he looks incensed now.

Oh man, that was good.

I hate that you broke my ceramic pizza, but it was worth it for that line, man.

Yeah, sorry, that really stinks.

And you get a call over the radio.

Yes, come in.

You

four, I guess it's me Dr.

Kildeath Gregory

hey Dr.

Kildeath we're just getting fired up over here with the hurting people right Lamar yeah I'm gonna wonder about this man but thanks for getting my back

well actually I had no choice but to get your front oh okay because

I mean you were my back

But then you're my back.

Oh, you complete me.

Aura Borrows.

All right, well, it sounds like

hey, Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Ouroboros.

Hey, listen, everyone, let's get this clean.

Ouroboros.

Hey, listen, shut up, listen.

Ouroboros.

Oh, yeah, man.

Yeah, man.

Thanks for hurting people on my behalf.

One side's all violence, one side's all show.

You got your peanut butter and my chocolate.

Both sides are all vibes.

Oh, yeah, dude.

Um, oh, okay, well, I was going to tell you that I finished those modifications and you guys should make your way back in here.

But if you're having fun growing out, I understand.

Uh, no ration.

I'm dying.

Oh, I am.

Make your way back into my home,

Roger.

Do you need help getting out of there, man?

Because it feels like you're lost in the sauce a little bit.

And if you stop dancing, you'll be instantly just disintegrated by the 12 dudes around you.

Yeah,

a bit

weary.

Uh, all right, can I run over to Roger and try to grab him and like jetpack out of there and dunk down into the top of the volcano?

That would be a sweet poster move.

You sure can.

You know?

It's not when you point it out.

No, when Michael Jordan goes in for one of his nasty dunks,

he's never like,

here comes a great poster moment.

Hey, take a picture of him.

I don't think he does that.

That's exactly what Michael Jordan did.

Does.

No, does.

He's the present team.

Right the first time.

He does it every day on the basketball court.

We don't even put it on TV anymore.

No, he's still out there doing his best.

He's out there.

He's only got half a core.

He still does it.

You run over there.

So I'm going to have you do first the roll with the splashback to take off with him.

Okay.

And then a roll to see how well the aiming goes.

Okay.

I'm running out of time to shine dice, so I'm going to just do this one raw.

That's okay, though, because that's three successes.

Three successes.

Okay.

Yeah, you're able to get him and launch into the air.

Yep.

And so you guys definitely get clear of.

You know what?

I'm going to say on three successes.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

I stretch Roger out.

Oh, geez.

Wow.

Wow.

Now he's lean beef.

You

are able to make it into the volcano.

Amazing.

Wow.

I figure you got Lamar, Axel Isle.

You, you, you have, and you're much closer to the door.

Absolutely.

So, you guys make your way in?

Yep.

Yes.

You reach the inside, and Lamar is guarding the entrance, and he kind of slams his shield down into the ground, creating a bit of a barrier there as you run inside.

You guys have knocked everyone back far enough that you have some time here to get

into the volcano.

And you see Dr.

Kildeath standing in his patio area near the fountain and he says climb in climb in climb in and you see that the fountain has opened up into a set of spiral staircase

very thunderbirds

when you reach the bottom of the staircase there you're in a missile chamber

and he says yes I had this saved in case I wanted to do one last attack on the city.

But now...

Wait, what they accommodated that when they built the I built it,

it was my plan.

Oh

carve it out of soap, no, this was just going to be kind of like if City Hall ever got too big for their bridges kind of thing.

Um, I was gonna call ahead and let them clear out.

It was mostly symbolic, a final uh fireworks.

We don't have time for that.

I modified it now, it will launch you safely out of the prison.

Oh, gosh.

Tell me more about everything you just said, because

it will launch us safely out of.

Is there a landing mechanism on this?

I've aimed it for water.

Aimed it?

Aimed?

Aimed it for water.

What's your specificity on your aiming there, man?

Like, how certain are you that we're going to make it to the splash zone?

I am

very certain.

How certain are you?

Like, we will get wet, we may get get drenched or where you at?

92%

Okay,

and and when you say water are we talking about like point Nemo like the spacecraft cemetery in the middle of the ocean or is it gonna be swimmable to land or something?

I'm sending you back towards land.

Listen, would I lie to you?

Boy, somebody wanted to flex the red mental floss this morning, huh?

Hey, I know stuff about the ocean, okay?

I'm an ocean guy.

That's absolutely fair.

Yeah, thank you.

Um, alright.

So, is there another option, maybe?

Is there like a high-speed rail?

You could go back out there and keep getting hit a bunch.

Interesting.

I mean, fight your way out, I guess, is the other one.

Uh, hey, is is uh I can never remember this fool's name.

It is the River City first officer whose career in life we've ruined.

And I should remember his name because of

misfortune.

Thank you so much.

Is Goshua gonna be okay?

Because I think he's still here and he's got like taken away.

Yes, when I spoke to him on the phone, he was definitely taken, but he wouldn't have been taken here.

He would have been taken to River City First HQ.

Okay, cool.

Hey, do you want to come with?

Because like we actually could probably use some help getting around your old stomping problem.

I'd love to, but I do have a bridge game tonight with Calcutta and Shockedapus.

But

any slides you the plans for the HQ.

This should, this is everything I know.

Hopefully they haven't changed much in the remodel.

Okay.

Any other questions for?

I'm fine, man.

What are you doing over there, Lyle?

I hope you're going to the bathroom.

There's not one on the rocket.

Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm putting on a scopola me patch.

Yeah, important.

Wait, hold on is there like a uh is there like a a place where we sit in the room

uh the warhead out i took the explosives out so there should be room for you guys to kind of cram in there hey you took the explosives out so you'd have room for something truly dangerous

you us ah

cuz

what something truly dangerous

us

I don't know who that was for.

Like, are you trying to intimidate some

Okay.

Lamar, um, are you ready?

Are you ready to?

Man, if Carver's in trouble, man, I gotta be there for him.

If Carver's in trouble, you're ready to stand there and protect him.

Cool.

And protect him.

Awesome.

Let's get rocking.

Waiting.

Let's get rocking.

Let's.

And hey, let's...

Let's rock this.

Let's take out the explosives and fill it with something truly dangerous.

Dang it!

No one's filming this.

Do we?

Is this for the real?

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