The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 11: Warehouse Wipeout!

In spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest towers They never stop us by having to trust That we will do what we must Until it's turning out just like you play The railway self

is long But our rojo strong And unless I'm wrong And I'm not We're at the height of our power

You guys are ready to head out.

The Rollibot,

Navy SEAL's pet rolybot, is outside ready to take you guys on to your next adventure.

And

Navy, your phone starts ringing.

Hold on, guys.

I got to take this.

I pull it out of my pocket.

I brush the spaghetti off of it.

That's right.

I got the spaghetti in my pockets, too.

It was a mess down there.

I had no idea what I was doing.

No idea.

When you answer the phone, it is a little hard.

You hear a lot of background noise.

You hear like crates being smashed in the carvery and things being thrown.

Hey, hey, guys.

Carver?

What's going on?

You sound distressed.

yeah, I I messed up.

Um

there's

uh hey hey, uh, so ah, and hold on

and he like you hear a guy like oof as he like throws him and you hear like punches and stuff um and he's like uh uh so I didn't just take Slugger back at the museum.

There's some guys here wanting to take um

uh

I'm I think I'm in trouble and the line goes dead

i told him not to mess with the docents

do we have carver on find my friends or find my that's a really good question i gotta have everyone i care about on find my so i can make sure they're safe find my fur friends i don't know that's a different app and it's no everybody has a pet finder

we all have id chips uh-huh um you do um let's let's see if you can access it All right.

It should be a canonical thing that anytime one of our characters uses a phone, we should have to roll dice because they're not made for us necessarily.

Well, and also, I don't know if you've ever tried to use Find My Friends and stuff, but the accuracy ain't what you would think.

That's not true.

One time I found Rachel in a Target.

In the same Target I was in.

Couldn't find her.

Loaded up Find My.

I was like, she's Northwest.

Found my wife at the Target.

My wife.

Could we use our practice points to

give ourselves a new ability or something?

Should maybe be able to use the phone?

Well, okay, this is silly.

It's a phone.

You can use it.

Okay, thank God.

Yeah, so Find My Friends kicks on.

The phone is registering as being at the Carvery.

Oh, well, that makes sense.

That's where he lives or whatever.

Yeah, that's actually that track's pretty good for me.

We need to...

is this situation all resolved here?

Did we take care of no loose ends?

Oh, I think all the loose ends

and all tangled and untangled and knotted up neatly.

I'm actually pretty beat from taking out like 50 dudes and then cleaning up the mess we made.

And now it seems like we're going to have to go get into

perhaps a kerfuffle.

And so I'm a little beat.

But let's...

Well,

I'll drive if you want to.

Can we quick snooze in before we head out?

You don't want to be too.

No, you sounded pretty pressed.

We should get over there.

Where's our principal sedan?

Well, I think that Dean still has the sedan, but you guys took the rolybot over here.

Okay.

So you could just let him drive for you while you sneeze in the bank.

I would love that.

I would love that.

Is there some sort of gyroscopic saddle on this guy that we ride around in?

Or we've never really talked about how we ride.

Do we climb inside him and roll like a ball?

Or like because he's a sphere you know there's a there's a gyroscopic center that you can like huddle up in and chill okay cool so you're not just spinning around like a tumble dryer cool i like that cool let's go i mean a hamster ball would be appropri appropriate um but

if you want to roll around like you're in a tumble dryer griffin i can make that happen maybe it could be like

it could be like the the thing that they ride around in in the new bad jurassic world movies where you get in the sphere and then you don't you don't move but the ball rolls Griffin, what?

Kind of sad.

Yeah.

For future reference, as we expand more into Hollywood,

we don't need to just take

these one-word songs.

An entire franchise is ruling our participation out of the complete.

Yeah, no.

You don't have to just like drive by, shove Jurassic World into a ditch.

Trevor Wetzer's face just like erase us from his continues.

Right.

It's like, it's like no, there's no call.

Yeah.

I think not remembering the guy.

Colin, that's it.

Colin Trevor, not Trevor.

Too late.

Too late.

You didn't remember at first.

We're not making it in these flags.

Okay, cool.

Let's hop in the ball and zoom, baby.

Do we have to drive this guy or does he drive himself?

Oh, this guy, self-driving, but in a good way.

Non-evil.

I'm glad you're in the world.

Non-evil.

Definitely safe way.

Okay, cool.

Roger's going to listen to some ASMR.

Absolutely outrageous.

Absolutely outrageous.

But it's awfully soft moo reading.

I never doubted you for a second, Dad.

I knew.

I knew that that was.

You did and still do.

Sorry, can't hear you.

Noise canceling.

Whoa.

Doubt would have been a waste of time.

I skipped straight to certainty.

That's beautiful, Justin.

You reached.

I had no room for equivocation.

I I knew what was coming.

You reach the Carvery, and though the layout is that as you remember it, the clear signs of a fight are present.

You know, you have the training ground in the middle, but things are broken.

Things are smashed.

There's, you know, maybe a couple scorches here and there.

The desk is flipped over.

That kind of thing.

Do we have a sense upon entering whether or not the carvery has been vacated or it is still an active threat scene.

So cursory glance is...

That's all I'm saying.

Do we hear people like punch me?

No, no.

Don't punch me there.

As far as the sound of fighting, yeah, sure, we know juice.

That's ow, ow, ow.

Not again.

Don't punch me there.

Yikes.

Hey, I thought we established no punching there.

No, upon entering the building, your cursory glance is that it has been cleared out, that the fight has been over for some time.

I'm gonna

start rooting around.

Didn't he have like a little desk here at the back of the room that we were like trying to get to?

The desk has been flipped over, but it is still there.

Oh, crud.

Is there anything?

I don't know.

Is there anything around the desk area that would suggest kind of like what?

Can I tell if anything was taken from the desk, right?

Documents or whatever a turtle warrior keeps in their desk.

Absolutely.

Give me a just, you know, looking around, Shay.

With the big old bug eyes.

Failure, the biggest one, two, three.

If we were playing Cee-Lo, I would have just lost all my money.

And that's what it feels like right now.

Yeah.

So you can definitely tell like the drawers have been pulled out and things have been rifled through.

Like the desk wasn't just flipped over, right?

Yeah.

Because the drawers wouldn't have fallen out this way.

Yeah.

The drawers were pulled out and things were rifled through, but you can't really get a sense of what was taken.

But you very very clearly get the idea that it was rifled through.

Guys, someone messed up the desk.

They really, they really, really jacked it up crazy.

Pull all the drawers out and went crazy on it.

There are any clues?

The desk, they got really, they got the desk really bad.

So they seemed to, that was maybe their main objective here was to just wreck this desk.

Whatever they were looking for, we can assume it's not there anymore, right?

Well, I don't see Carver anywhere, so it's possible that Carver is what they were after.

Well, we're only on one floor.

Should we check out the other floors just to see?

Um,

I'm going, everyone,

stay still.

I'm gonna shut off the lights.

Ooh.

Okay.

Now I'm gonna activate my nocturno sense.

In a darkened environment and when not in active peril, Lyle can use sound and chemical detection to understand more about his environments, enemies, etc.

I'm reading that text, even though I wrote it.

So it's not like, I guess I'm trying to imbue it with some sort of power by reading

that.

It sounded like it was from a thick booklet.

I know from a thick, no, but it's just from my bite's eye.

So yeah, I want to like, now that I've got it darkened, I can just activate my senses to see what clues I can pull out of this environment.

Okay, is there anything in particular you're looking for or just like whatever you can smell?

Smells.

Mainly smells.

I want to harness the smell of battle.

There's a lot of chemical musks that are going to be released in a combat scenario.

And usually I'm pretty good, even without a nose, at being able to tell

the different scents.

Okay, yeah.

Give me a roll with your nocturno scents.

Yeah, let me activate that.

3d8, would you say?

Mondo move, 48.

Nice.

Well, no.

Not no.

Not nice.

That's three failures and one success.

I mean, that sounds like...

Suboptic ball.

It's less than good.

Yeah, it's like 25 bad.

25% is bad.

One, Griffin, did you take a practice point?

No, thank you.

Just failure.

You're welcome.

Justin, with a mixed success, with a single success, the only thing you're able to pick up on, and there's pools of water, little puddles, you know, little splashes on the ground,

which those were present before.

I mean, this is a like warehouse kind of converted into a thing.

It's not super protected from the elements, but you get a very strong scent of like brackish salt water.

Okay.

They're on the main training ground.

Yes.

Or are they up on the floor with all the equipment?

Oh, good question.

Okay, so if you look at the two maps, right?

There's two floors.

The first floor has all the training equipment and everything, and then there's like a grid thing above it.

That was like where the lights and stuff are.

That's where you were sneaking around the first time you came to the carvery.

That everything is like dangling from, and everything like that.

Okay, Roger is going to access that catwalk up there, the grid, and find the spot right above where these puddles of water are and see if there are any clues up in the up in the grid.

Okay, yeah, give me a looking around roll for you.

Looking around,

just 2d8s.

I don't believe you have anything trained in it.

Four and an eight.

Okay, yeah, with a mixed success, you find some spots along like the catwalk and there in the middle where there's more kind of signs of like moisture, maybe like a piece of seaweed, but you don't find any other

particular clues to lead you along.

But what you do all hear is the carvery door opening and the click clack of sensible, hard-soled shoes come in.

Uh,

I turn jets at the ready.

And you see intrepid reporter JJ August entering into the Carvery.

I lowered the jets.

Sorry.

Oh, so you guys got the call too, huh?

Wait.

Oh, it's you from the...

Night at the museum.

The movie?

No, the night we were all at the museum together oh right yeah it's pretty people forget it's like half the time at the museum that's an excellent point yeah because there's like day at the museum and night at the museum that's what you get hey listen we would love to catch up and chat but someone really jacked up this desk and whatever and they might have jacked up carver too and we're trying to get to the bottom of it

Yeah, yeah, can you look at this for your reporter, right?

You see any clues?

Because I'm coming up dry.

Dry as a popcorn farm.

What's funny you should mention dry because I see here puddles of brackish water

well yeah that is I didn't want to toot my own horn but I discovered some piles of brackish water man

and she kind of looks at you Navy

and she's like are these

did you

did I make them make water did I make a mess No, those are not his puddles.

You should you have a hydro blaster that you were pointed at me when I walked in.

Were you the ones fighting with Carver?

No, I may have used my thing, like, when we were in here doing our, like, test for glory.

But no, uh, no, that's not me.

Uh,

I mean, we're on the

Carver is sort of on the pier, right?

Like, it's on, it is Oceanside, if memory serves.

Uh, the warehouse district is, yes.

Yes, okay.

Let me check out.

Can I do an assist on the sort of clues we've found so far?

Something seems off to me.

Yeah, go ahead and give me

with your bug eyes.

I want to go lick the brackish water.

See what my...

We've used all of our other senses, and taste might be like the hot one.

Well, as they say, you know, taste starts with the eyes.

So I'm going to still let you use your bug eyes with this.

Sure, sure.

Yeah.

One success.

Be way better if it was two, though, huh?

I was going to say, and you get an extra die because of all the clues you've collected so far.

Well, that's four successes then and thank you guys

so um with that cowabunga and the clues you've collected so far the taste of the brackish water the kelp that you found and the way that these puddles are laid out This is water and kelp from an area of the kind of bay off of River City that you are familiar with.

This is

been used as like a hideout and it's been used as like a headquarters for some of the like worst villains in the ocean that you and the royal seals have fought before but that said

this is surprising to you because they almost always focus their attacks on stuff based in the water okay i mean he's a turtle

which is a sort of a sort of both walks both worlds

He's a tortoise, to be fair.

Same thing.

It's not.

Frick yeah, dude.

You know our audience too well.

I look up that's Griffin at

yeah, find me.

Don't find me.

Uh,

I look up from the brackish water.

I think we're dealing with the bayside baddies here, guys.

Oh man, they're some of the woodest dudes in town.

True, true, but uh, now we're gonna be on my home turf, the ocean baby, the salty one, and we're gonna be able to find them no problem i've had to mess up a few of these few of these baddies in my day they're uh i mean they're wet but you guys look like you can handle it

well i don't know if i can

i'm i'm not that submergeable

you guys what am i gonna do you float though right

well

probably

not one way

there's one way to find out my mom do cows float there's only one way to find out.

I like that attitude, mister.

Well, it's pretty low risk for me, man.

I look at JJ.

Hey, I don't know why, but some of the Bayside baddies, it seems like they took Carver.

He called us to tell us that he messed up in a panic.

Did he call you, too?

Yeah,

he called me and...

only talked for a second.

He said that, you know, some ruffians that started a kerfuffle, a Donnybrook, I think he said.

Yeah.

And had gone,

you know, showed up looking for something that he had taken, and then it got cut off.

Do you think it's the stuff he took from the museum?

Remind me, did he just get away with his bat that first night?

Or did he?

That's all you saw him take.

Okay, cool.

I mean, I guess maybe they would have gone for his bat, but who would want his bat bad enough to kidnap him?

None of of the

base-eyed batties come to mind.

And you're sure the bat's all he took.

I mean, it's all he saw.

We'll get to the bottom of this.

What's your relationship with Carver?

Because I understand why he'd call us.

We're like his best buds and

trainees, his heirs of adventure, they might say.

Like justice inheritors.

But

what's...

Justice Inheritors.

Oh.

Sounds cool.

Maybe that's a good team name.

Write that down.

But

what's your relationship with Carver?

Oh,

well,

he and the other Guardians worked really closely with my mom when she was a reporter.

And he's kind of my godfather.

Cool.

I like that.

Well, don't worry, we'll find him and

get him back and

maybe you could do a big story about like

inheritors of justice come and

you hear from the open doorway behind her, the only story is going to be about you is your obituary.

Wow.

And standing in the doorway, you see three of the bayside baddies.

I know it.

Navy, you recognize them as Eel Patrick Patrick Harris.

No.

Is that it?

Eel Patrick Harris.

No, that's not the name I came up with.

That's not the name I came up with.

Hey, Travis.

Uh-huh.

It is.

Own that.

Pagemaster.

Own that.

Stand in it, Pagemaster.

Yeah,

your words on this side of the veil have power.

Okay, so you just say

you said Eel Patrick Harris and there he lives.

Yeah, there's Eel Patrick Harris, Hammer Ned, and Squid Mark.

Hold on, I need a second to think about Squid Mark.

I need to write a book about Squid Mark.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I'm starting a new crypto about Squid Mark.

They're called Squid Marks.

Okay, I'm good.

Move on.

Well,

if it isn't the Bayside Batty's three most sinister invertebrates

and my ex-roommate, Squid Mark.

Hi, hi again.

I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face in this city again, Squid Mark, after you left me with all those bills.

Me?

You're the one who racked up all of the long distance brewing carls.

Your girl threatened to stay with us for free for a month and she left her stinky cooking all over the stove.

You said that was okay.

You didn't mind her staying with us.

You used all the towels and I had to dry myself with brawnies more times than not.

It's good for the skin.

Don't start again with with the good for the skin i saw it on tick tock you don't have skin how dare you squids don't have skin

it's justin at uh if you wanna

no i just been his skin so thin oh right okay cool it's like you know i have a condition how dare you seems like you three are late for the party the party of kidnapping kidnapping party of our guy of our boss

yeah we was left behind.

This is Hammer Ned.

We was left behind to keep an eye on the place to make sure nobody followed.

Okay.

Well, unfortunately, we didn't follow you guys, but we do have to beat your butts.

Oh.

Okay?

Because we need answers about Carver.

I guess there's no...

We won't actually.

No, no, no.

It's just we was going to beat your butts.

Well, okay, can you first tell us where Carver went?

No.

Travis, can can I ask a clarifying question?

Yeah.

Earlier when I said that Carver was I got a local loke on Carver.

Uh-huh.

What was communicating that information to well that would be his phone, Justin.

So his phone is still here.

Yes.

Okay, have we found that yet?

Well, a lot of mixed successes abound, Justin.

Yeah, that's okay, but I've just now thought to specifically look for the phone.

Okay, yeah,

give me a roll to look for the phone.

Can you give me a second?

What?

Can you give me a second?

I should have done something when I got here.

Do you need to go to the bathroom?

Yeah, I'm going to go to the bathroom everywhere.

Close your eyes.

Oh, gross.

Close them now.

You don't have long.

You got to follow the etiquette for when a battle starts.

They do kind of like

flinch away.

Oh, gross.

A mixed success is all in.

You had a mixed success at bathrooming?

I found half the phone.

You find the phone,

you see the phone.

Poop but no pee.

You see the phone, but it is behind where the baddies are, kind of like it's been flung into a corner.

What?

The devil's flint.

The devil's flit is.

The devil's blitz.

The devil's blend is poop at no pee.

You did a mixed success at going to the bathroom so you don't have to stop.

The movement that shall not be named is the worst one you could have.

Poop at no pee.

Oh, no.

Not like this.

That's the one where there's no P-sounds to hide the plops, and there's just plops, and everyone knows everyone hears the plops.

And you're not able to relax one thing or the other enough to make both happen.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Forget about the third one.

Whoa, Justin, we don't talk about that.

Don't tell kids about the no, don't.

That's something they're gonna have to deal with when they get older.

Um, so you see the phone thrown into a corner behind where they are.

You're all over at the desk and searching around.

Squid Mark steps over to JJ and says, Hi, Miss August.

I'm a big fan.

And JJ says, Oh, thank you so much.

Well, I'm gonna have to take you hostage now.

Yeah, no, I know how this works.

I've been in the game for a while.

Whenever you're ready, and Squid Mark wraps a couple tentacles, like kind of around her shoulders, holding her in place.

Uh,

all right, let the fight begin after the break.

I hear one of my cats upstairs crying.

You know what they're, you know, what they're upset about.

Just like the state of things and whatever.

No, they're only ever wanting one thing, and that's for me to get the smalls out.

Dad, we don't know how to...

Yeah, they love the smooth bird.

Dad, we want our smooth bird.

We don't have jobs.

We can't buy our own food.

We don't know how to order things.

Dad, we're so scared.

We're cats, and we've gained complete human intelligence.

What's happening?

Where are we?

Yeah.

Where are we?

But you know what?

I calm them right down with smalls because you're going to get a package of smalls, right?

You're gonna open it up, you're gonna put it in front of your cats there, put it into a bowl, whatever you're gonna, I don't know your business.

But when you put it out there, these cats are gonna freak out, and you're also gonna see some long-lasting effects.

In my experience, at least, my cats have been a little healthier, they've had a nice, nice-looking coat, and they just love

smalls.

They love it.

Smalls cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients, um, and it's delivered right to your door.

And cats.com named it their best overall cat food.

And get this after switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners report overall health improvements for smalls food.

That's a big deal.

For a limited time only because you are a small zone.

I was really proud of that, Justin.

I was really proud of that.

Sorry, Trav, that was great.

Thank you.

For a limited time only because you're an adventure zone listener, you can get 60% off your first smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash adventure.

That's 60% off when you head to smalls.com slash adventure plus free shipping.

Again, that's smalls.com slash adventure.

Hey, this week we're coming to...

Sorry to interrupt.

I just kind of burst in.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Hey, I'm also sorry.

I'm also sorry.

And I'm here and I'm interrupting too.

If you're coming to

our shows this week in San Antonio and Austin, thank you.

If you're not already planning on coming, why not?

We want to see you there.

We need you there.

Join us.

What are you doing?

It's so great.

Yeah.

If you're coming to the show and you want to have a question,

you got a question you want answered, you want a fear read aloud, we got you.

Email that to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line in Austin.

And also, doing what trap?

What are we doing in Austin, buddy?

Well, we're doing Adventure Zone versus Hercules, and it's going to be a real treat.

You're going to feel happier than you've ever felt in your entire life.

Yeah, we're also coming to Utah and California later this year.

Tickets for all those shows are on sale now.

More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours.

Oh, we also have a new merch because it's a new month.

Yeah.

New month, new merch, new you.

Well, yeah, sort of.

We've got a brand new Gerald t-shirt over there designed by Lynn Doyle.

Go to macroymerch.com.

Check it out.

And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community.

So go to macroymerch.com to get yours now.

You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother, me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years, I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on My Brother, My Brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back and goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcast.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news, we still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lom.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

And we're back.

Hey, Abnimals fans and other people who listen for various reasons.

I'm actually still on my OSHA-mandated break, Trav.

You had me take those trash cans out so my break didn't start until a couple.

Okay, I'm done.

Okay.

So, currently, it is

on one side of the Carvery training grounds now broken and you know stuff smashed and thrown apart with the fight to Tritus, we've got Lyle and Navy and Roger and Rollybot.

On the other side, we've got Heron Ed, Eopatrick Harris.

I meant to say it's not perfect.

Eopatrick Harris, Squid Mark holding JJ August hostage.

Cool.

Roger is going to...

He's been quiet this whole time just because he was being sneaky and not because I was playing Elden Ring while you guys were making jokes.

Yeah, really?

Yeah, I should hope not, Clint.

This is as close to a job as you have.

When last we left, Roger, he was up in the grid.

Has he moved down since then, or is that still?

Oh, yeah.

I think the whole time all that discussion was going on, he was putting himself in position up on the grid, and he's going to launch himself into a giant foon

and try to land on Hammer Net.

Horns first.

Oh.

For the listeners at Home Dad, will you describe what a foon looks like?

A foon basically is a very awkward looking dive into a pool and it's like a jackknife that doesn't fully open up.

So you're making basically an inverted V

when you hit the water.

So if you do it right the first thing that hits the water will be your face.

rapidly followed by your feet

and

if you are in the you know with the legs positioned correctly, you are not going to hurt yourself in a personal way.

So the foon in this case being a shortened version of typhoon.

Typhoon.

Yes.

Hinting to the amount of water generated by the person.

As far as I know, it's a dive we invented, as far as I know.

It sounds like a dive you did wrong once and then gave a name to to make it seem like you did it on purpose.

That is the nature of invention, Trevor.

That's beautiful, father.

Now, Dad, are you doing this onto Hammer Ned?

Yes.

Okay.

You are a beefy boy.

Quite literally.

Yeah.

Give me, let's see.

I'm going to say because of your positioning that this is going to be an attack with 3d8.

So give me that attack roll.

Yeah, I'm hitting it and nothing is happening.

No, I see it.

4-4.

6.

Okay.

Not our best rolls today, fan.

Well, with attack, it's just about damage.

Oh, yes, that's true.

So that is going to be your attack roll to do damage to him.

I'm going to have you roll in a second to see how well you land.

Okay.

And how well you do it.

But he is not wearing armor.

He's a shark man in pants.

So you are going to hit him for one damage.

And now I'd like you to roll.

You've just jumped 10 feet off the ground onto a large shark man.

Horns first

so go ahead and like there's another way of doing it.

Of course he's going horns of course um so give me um i'm looking to see what you have here um you're a dancer so give me a 3d 8 roll to see how well you land

seven one six ah okay full success two successes there so you land you roll away he staggers what

what was

Hey, that wasn't cool, man.

What was that about?

Ow!

That's the sound of fighting.

I mean, that's what it sounds like.

Don't hear me there!

We've established that, right?

That's fighting.

I'm like right here at the end of the conveyor belt that proved so problematic for us on our journey the opposite way across this obstacle course.

I would like to...

turn it on to its highest setting and

jump on it and sort of assume the position to blast forward with with the splash pack and just kind of launch myself at

sound barrier breaking speeds towards squid mark.

Okay, excellent.

You see like just some wires have come loose in the frackers that occurred earlier, so all you really need to do is twist those together?

Yeah, easy.

So it's not a complicated fix, but we'll see how it goes in the turning of it on.

Okay.

So give me a 2d6.

Oh, this stinks.

I didn't think.

I didn't think I'd actually have to.

Ah, farts.

One and a four.

Shoot.

Dang.

So it does work, and it does turn on, and it's going super fast, but you don't get a chance to assume the position.

Like, you're kind of hunched over it, and it launches you forward.

Yeah, it's sort of like if you try to jump onto a moving treadmill, you just kind of end up rolling and getting thrown backwards while on your spine.

But this one is moving towards Squid Mark.

Yeah, so I just have to

be launched gracefully.

Well, I'm going to roll to see if he avoids you.

Oh, okay.

Get out of here, Squid Mark.

Get out of here.

Come on, pal.

With these cheat rolls.

Cheat dice.

Well,

it was rolled in in Roll 20, Griffin.

I know, 20.

7, 8, 5.

He hacked the system.

He jumps out of the way and is able to keep a hold on JJ August.

And And you are launched in a bit of a heat next to him.

Hammer Ned is going to take a swing at you, Roger.

Oh, and he did very badly.

He rolled two, three, four

and misses you completely.

Lyle, what would you like to do?

Squid Mark, I thought you were past this.

Crime?

Really?

I love crime.

You, I know that, but you said you're going to try to go clean, man.

What happened?

I did go clean for a while, and it just didn't pay as well.

Well,

they say that, man.

You knew that.

Debbie left me, man.

Oh,

no.

Alright.

Okay.

I mean, she'll be back in a week, but...

Well, come on then.

Just during this time.

I was going to let you punch me the stomach.

No, I'm just finding a lot of time on my hands.

She's been gone a couple days now, and.

All right, well, you're just being a dingus about this.

I'm gonna dropkick him in the chest.

You're across the room, but the conveyor belt is on.

And you could, yeah, I'm gonna use the conveyor belt to build up speed, and then I'm gonna give him the full slippery blast.

I love

there's no result of this that isn't pretty funny.

After I just tried the same thing and ended up eating dirt.

But this time, Griffin, I have lubrication on my side.

That's true.

Gross?

Okay.

It's only gross.

You can't say that when there's cancellation.

Yeah.

You gotta stop.

Just saying gross.

No.

Okay, delicious.

So,

Justin, using anything is a drum, right?

In this case, you are the melee weapon being improvised.

Yeah, and that's two successes.

Oh, wait, I think.

Two matching successes.

Two matching successes.

Yeah, you're going to slam into him.

This is how well you use the conveyor belt, right?

You've got yourself a cowbunga.

You're going to slam into him with very cleared and controlled force so this is uh only going to knock him and not jj august so now give me a 2d8 attack roll but either way you're knocking him away from jj august

okay

uh what should i roll for the attack 2d8

Okay, a one and a five.

Okay, here's something.

Here's something I'd like to convey.

Night, night.

And then I do the conveyor belt, belt and then I give him a kick for six points.

Yeah, he has just enough time to go like, oh, I get it.

And then you slam into him.

You're going to do one damage to him.

And it knocks his grip loose of JJ August, who is able to roll away and pop up.

While I'm laying on the ground, can I look up at Lyle?

Like...

So did you watch what I did and like learn from my mistakes and then incorporate that into your yeah, you were going backwards, man.

That's it.

I just went the right way.

No problem.

Anybody could have done it.

You had a 50-50 shot.

I just got lucky.

No, you're you did amazing.

It's just I wanted to feel like I contributed.

It was luck.

I just, yeah, I just learned from watching you.

I sort of like

ran where you fell and hurt yourself.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, Lyle.

Well, thank you, Lyle, for sharing the glory button.

Um, EO Patrick Harris is gonna step over

and uh lay some, you know, tentacle-like arms on you

on you, maybe.

maybe

oh okay i am laying

yeah

and attempt to shock you

okay he does one point of damage do you have any armor uh no okay yeah you take one shocking damage okay one lightning damage

um and rolybot sees his adopted father being hurt

and he uh is visibly upset

He is in your control, though, so what would you like him to do?

I would prefer that

to him hiding his pain.

Yeah.

To be fair.

I mean,

I'm going to

whistle, my internet whistle.

Uh-huh.

Well established.

And I want him to set off his car alarm setting just to sort of distract them for a moment.

Oh,

very good.

Okay, cool.

Oh, yeah.

His car line goes blasting out with double sevens.

Okay.

And you see, not only does it distract him, but it is causing them like visible kind of discomfort

as he directs it towards the three of them.

I look at Lyle and Roger, and I make a series of hand signals.

And then I twist one of my jets backwards and sort of just like lay on my back on the floor and turn them both on so it sort of does a spinning maneuver full blast jet since all the bad the bayside baddies are around us oh yeah it kills any kill and it kills all it cuts them like clean in half because it's like water like pressure cleaner like turbo power now here's what i'm gonna ask griffin yeah yeah yeah would you rather

you roll to see if lyle and roger understand your hand signals and avoid getting knocked down or have each of them roll individually

I mean I guess them roll individually.

This is definitely something we've communicated about.

Yes, but definitely.

All right, so dad, give me a 2d8 roll to see how well you understand the hand signals.

Justin, you have trained in abs, so 3d8 roll.

Okay.

Let me

do that.

Oh, nice.

All right.

Let me see.

What'd you dad?

Six and a three.

Okay, it makes exist.

So, Griffin, what was Navy attempting to convey with the hands?

Get down.

Get down.

Drop down to the floor and get down.

Not to party, but to like literally get your body lower on the floor.

Everybody walk that dinosaur.

Yeah, so Roger,

you pick up that he's like, time to drop it.

Jump it like a tall.

Get low.

But very much in the kind of yin-yang twins, you know, apple bottom jeans, get low, low low low low low there's a different

favorite song for that yeah

so

give me a uh 3d8 dance roll roger

okay

nice it's kind of you to give him a way out of this oh well you're welcome 5'84

okay yeah with two successes complete success you get low in such a way no one's ever gotten as low as you are now

um as Certainly not in the bovine world.

Well, you twerked us such, you're so close to the ground.

It's glorious.

And you are able to.

You bounce off the window and the wall.

Yeah, it's amazing.

As the water sprays down the walls and all the Lyles.

All these baddies fall.

Yeah.

I have not actually rolled to do that.

So give me your attack with your Hydro Blaster, Griffin.

48.

48, yes.

I still have time to shine dice, I think.

Or maybe I don't.

Maybe I burn them.

No, you do.

You have three time to shine dice available.

Well, I feel like I forgot to mark them.

I'm going to just use them all, I guess.

Or no, I'll use a couple.

I'll bring it up to 68.

68.

Please.

That's oh my god, this is this is what does this mean because I got a five and then I got a six six six and then I got a five.

Well the devil appears, Griffin, and he's like, I'll take, I'll take care of these bad guys for you straight, straight to hell with you boys.

With the we have three successes.

I'm gonna call this a mega cowbunga.

Um, you spin just like a the most dangerous, wettest Beyblade, and it sweeps all three of them off their feet

and deals four damage to each of them,

which knocks Hammer Ned unconscious.

And Eel Patrick Harris and Squid Mark are not looking great as they are flattened.

As we stop, I look around.

I say, was anyone recording that?

We don't, like, I've got a lot of great footage of you guys doing cool stuff, but I haven't gotten any cool stuff on tape yet.

Just like any chance, anyone.

JJ,

JJ probably has a body cam, right?

No, I don't have a honeycomb.

But I have my phone out.

I filmed it.

Oh, yes.

Here, drop me that, please.

Yeah, you got it.

So what do you guys do?

With the two remaining, I'm going to say Squid Mark

is starting to stand up with his multi-tentacles, but Slythery Eel is having a harder time

getting up.

And

Squid Mark is soaking wet.

Yeah, now.

He's going to get cattle prodded.

He is so going to get cattle prodded.

They do it.

Yeah.

And he's probably standing in a puddle of water, too, right?

No, it's his own pee because he's so scared of you.

Well, it's a combination of ink, which, as we know, is squid pee, and water.

Yeah, yeah, ink is the squid's pee.

We all know this.

And there's just streaks, there's streaks everywhere.

So I rolled 2d8 for the cattle prods, right?

3d8 for the cattle prods.

3d8.

3d8 for the cattle prods.

Oh, my God.

8-8-3.

Unpossible.

Yikes dad.

With a mega cowbunga,

he is knocked fully unconscious and definitely has a chance to think about like life choices and what he does with himself when his partner Debbie is out of town.

And

I don't know, some money falls out of his pocket too.

If you want that, oh, nice.

Killer, how much?

How much then Roger says $23.

It's exactly how much he owed you in bills.

Calamari, anyone?

That's offensive.

Yeah, no one really says that anymore, man.

I'm gonna say something here, and it's gonna upset you, but what if someone hit, like, hit you or took you out and was like, who's hungry for steak or hamburgers?

It would feel bad to joke about that.

Or where's the beef?

Where's the beef?

That's great, but you have to understand that that doesn't give you carte blanche.

Or, sorry, just something about hide, like, you know, rawhide or anything.

Okay, we're done actually coming up with demonstrations.

Oh, rawhide is good.

I like rawhide.

We're all saying these things very casually.

Yeah, I'm just El Patrick Harris is going to slither off and jump into the ocean to escape.

As we all want him to, secretly.

I mean, I'd like to pursue him.

I don't know.

Yeah, no, that's what

I'm saying.

That's what you see him.

You see him slithering off.

Into like as you guys were talking, you look over, you see Eel Patrick Harris has left a trail of this brackish water as he is attempting to slither off and get back into the water.

Let's split up.

Roger, can you keep an eye on these two?

And they wake up, get some info, and the wet fellas will

get it wet.

I can call it in, JJ says.

And the rollybot comes over and kind of beeps and opens up its side door.

Rollybot, what is it?

Oh, sorry.

It closes its door, right?

And you hear this, like, hiss as it closes and it opens again.

And then it, like, hunkers down and beeps again.

I think it's here Titan there.

I think, Roger.

You gotta come with, man.

We could all be wet fellas.

Yeah, welcome.

Welcome aboard.

Does it come back?

It's true that to being left behind to wait for these two

knuckleheads to wake up.

Okay, JJ.

I want to be part of the action, man.

JJ, let's...

you, can you get someone here to

take care of these two and we'll go chase down the eel?

We've been arguing, we've been discussing this for such a long time.

He's probably longer.

She's already on the phone.

She's like, yeah, I'm on it.

Okay, great.

Let's go.

Okay, Roger jumps into the wheelie bot.

And Justin, make sure you grab...

Make sure you grab the phone that you saw before you leave.

I'm assuming I need to say that out loud, so I'll say it legally.

I grab it.

I grab the phone.

You grab the phone.

It is

without power but seems otherwise intact okay um roger you load into the wheelie bot is anybody else going with him i mean the other two you'll be fine yeah i'm i'm absolutely going with him because just because i can swim underwater doesn't mean that i want to i'm just gonna lay down on the floor of it and sleep okay we're gonna well i want to leave you doing that as uh navy dives into the water wheelie bot seals up behind and launches itself off of

the pier into the water.

And you see its wheels kind of shift so that they are now, they shift 90 degrees and start spinning as propellers.

And the three of you, or I guess four of you, including the Reallybot, launch through the ocean following Eel Patrick Harris.

Hey, I'm Slip and Slime, part of the Ooze Crew, and I'm here to tell you that when you use gym equipment, you gotta wipe that sweat off after you use it with the towel, because no one wants to touch your yucky sweat when they're doing their crunches, okay?

Sweat is the most disgusting substance on the planet, so deal with it.

Please, I'm begging you, as someone who myself wants to do some crunches and not touch a yucky sweat.

Alright, thanks everyone.

It's been Slip and Slim.

Goodbye.

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